#guess ill just suffer

[shadszyyx]

dude i have this thing in my hands idek what its called but it hurts so much, my hands keeps bleeding bc of these tiny cuts that appear out of nowhere n i cant even close my hands bc it just hurts. i hate this

#my skin is all fucked up n idk why #should i go to the doctor? yes #if i had money n time #guess ill just suffer

[ofstoriesandstardust]

i’m no longer in my this is me trying era. 

i’m in my nothing new era.

#kylie rambles #i'm doing the same thing i did senior year of high school #bu there was a definitive end with that #when i got accepted to college #but there's no end in sight for this #GUESS ILL JUST SUFFER #i'm actually gonna go get mcdonald's for the third day in a row

[lemonlimevio]

i do EVERYTHING in my power to not get sick and every single time my parents bring disease into my home

#elospeaks #all of this could be avoid if you wore the literally stacks of boxes of kn95s youve bought that are only used by me and my sibling #im not asking for her to wear them IN the house but like work or shopping YES anytime we go out it is a necessity #plus this will be the THIRD TIME youve gotten it if your positive #which is terrible for you because you are ALREADY compromised due to both your hyperthyroidism and then the nodules they found on it #not good!! #i just want to live in a world where i dont have to worry about my or my siblings health every second of the day IN MY OWN HOME #being worried in public is one (bad) thing (i hate it but not the point of what im talking abt) #but im not even safe here in my home that i live in #i have to move but i cant afford to move at all so #guess ill just suffer #the first time she got it she literally caused me so much contamination paranoia that i washed my hands raw and i cant touch doorknobs now #so she WILL deal with my bitching about it #its the least i can do

[thepresidentstolemyfuckingsafe]

*follows tags for shows I like*

*thinks about all the cool fan art I'll see*

*sees spoilers with no warning*

*sees explicit y/n fics that aren't tagged NSFW because they're not images, I guess*

#guess ill just suffer

[comfortsnow]

I wish it was easier to take photos of yourself in a 3rd POV. I can't complete this drawing without a reference, but it requires both my hands to be shown, so I can't hold a phone. I'm at a lost of what to do

#I also can't find a reference online #guess ill just suffer #snow.txt

[patrick-stewart]

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS | 5.03

#what we do in the shadows #laszlo cravensworth #wwdits #wwditsedit #tvedit #wwditssource #userbbelcher #userpayton #usersavana #userzo #userjack #useremi #useraurore #* #i couldnt find this episode in 4k so ill just suffer i guess

[yardsards]

hot take but you all NEED to stop telling people to kill themselves.

yes, even *those* people. i don't care if you're talking to some monster who puts live puppies into a wood chipper for fun, don't say that shit.

because mx. puppychipper isn't gonna be affected by your words.

but you know who might be affected? some innocent third party reading the words you said on a public website.

because telling people to kill themselves says "suicide is a punishment for being a bad person. bad people, upon realizing they're bad, should simply commit suicide instead of working to atone for their actions."

and that is NOT a message you wanna be normalizing to anyone, but ESPECIALLY people with depression (who, let's be real, make up a higher than average chunk of this site's userbase). whose mental illness is already telling them that 1: they're an inherently terrible worthless person no matter what they do 2: death is an appealing option.

is reading "kill yourself" once or twice gonna make them do it? nah, probably not. but reading it multiple times a day every day is gonna make their mental health worse. it's probably not good for your mental health to be saying that kind of thing, either.

just knock that shit off. the world is already so hostile to people with mental illness, and managing mental illness and unlearning unhealthy thought patterns is already so difficult. you don't need to be out here making it worse.

#eliot posts #suicide mention #animal abuse mention #i guess #ive said similar before and i just said this in the tags of another post but it deserves its own post #i am fucking TIRED of reading this shit so often #i frequently block people for saying it #sometimes i report ppl over it too if they're shitty in other ways too #i luckily don't have the ''i'm a worthless piece of shit and deserve the death penalty'' flavour of depression #but i do have the ''life is endless suffering and i want to euthanize myself'' variety of depression (or. technically bipolar.) #and reading the phrase kys Feels Bad Man w my mental illness #and i have froends w the first type and i worry about them #and one of em has told me it does affect them quite negatively to read kys #so yeah! fucking stop it!

[moeblob]

Me, too, Blade. Me. Too.

(I am taking donations to buy a gigantic $250 stuffed cheeseburger. It's giant. I want it. I will never obtain it. I saw it in a shop window and..... wow. Big.)

#honkai star rail #hsr blade #kafka #you guys this thing was fucking huge but i cant spend 250 on it lmao #also the way to tell i love characters or a game a lot is by if i draw them being stupid #i love blade so much hes so funny and suffering.... #do not actually give me money to buy a giant burger #i walk around and its so big and i am so small #i would have to actually drive my car just to put a giant stuffed burger in it #there is absolutely no way i can even hold this thing on the way home #i have in fact told my sister this very sadly before i found out the price this morning #i was lamenting last night over giant borger in window........ i want it....... #then i saw the price and was like WELP guess not lol #ill post art for a different fandom later hopefully but this was super important to me to draw #specifically with these characters #worst case scenario i fail my own self inflicted october challenge of a different series each day #but hsr gets two days worst case scenario which isnt bad #im so sorry to anyone who wants to look at mr blade in serious situations i am incapable of serious

[buwheal]

Hi, Spamton..! How’s our favorite [BIG SHOT] doing??

#double meaning in his response is on purpose :-) #spamton #spamton g spamton #[you've got mail!] #that fucking frame where he's rubbing his eyes took way too long for no damn reason auurghhh i wanted to get another out today #ill save it for tommorow i guess but damn #it looks nice though #This is a temporary spot btw he's suffering just for the moment. He deserves it dont feel bad for him.

[i-d-e-g-a-f]

i ache for katara so deeply, she deserves so much better than her canon fate. i cannot express in words how much her story and how the fandom views/treats her physically hurts me

#anti kataang #katara deserved better #i know she’s a fictional character so ppl can say think and feel however they want about her and it the end of the day it shouldn’t matter #cus she’s not real but i just feel for her so deeply it hurts #katara my beloved #katara #katara my best friend who i have a DEEP parasocial relationship with i will always be on your side #they can never make me hate you #WE COULDVE HAD IT ALL #yes i’m being dramatic but also 100% serious #truly my favorite character of all time and she has been done wrong not only by the writers but by the fans too lord give her a break #i need her to get justice so bad against bryke and everyone who speaks ill on her #god please take all her suffering and give it to bryke #am i being hyperbolic right now? #your guess is as good as mine #zutara #for exposure ig #anti bryke

[minty-bunni]

Danny developing any chronic condition that leads to periods of joint stiffness (and other things, but the major part is stiffness) has a ton of angst potential in regards to his status as one of the living.

Imagine being something in between life and death and then your joints get all stiff for the first time. I'd imagine someone in that situation who is unsure of their humanity *might* just jump to thinking it was rigor mortis starting to kick in.......

#danny phantom #welp guess I'm not a kid with cool powers because my body is doing corpse stuff now #except it isn't doing corpse stuff it is doing my body is a torture chamber stuff #and let me tell you doing anything wjen your hands are stiff af is so bloody hard because dropping stuff constantly is a thing #and then you move like a zombie because sorry my knee is basically FROZEN in place rn #point is Danny with joint issues neurological issues or chronic illness is somethine this fandom can use #I personally hc fibromyalgia danny #because if I get to suffer with my body randomly pulling this bs then he does too #post exists because my left hand did the thing today and I was just like huh so this is what being dead feels like #then I was like wait a sec we can torture Danny with this

[skitskatdacat63]

For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D

+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)

#did you know bullfighters dedicate their kill to a friend or member of the public by giving them their hat? #i really wanted to draw silly vettonso where fernando offers seb his hat #seb retires from bullfighting(yeah its an au now) and fernando in his green costume is like; #'here is my hat. now will you come back from retirement? 🥺' #but yeah feel very abnormal abt that ^ and also the thing abt them having someone who helps them get into their costume as a sacred ritual #theres just a lot of thoughts and ideas floating around in my head bcs of it #anyways i liked drawing this but it was very suffering too and took me like 5 hours #its like. you see the intricate embroidery and im like ah! omg! i love painting details!!! #and then remember im not the best w coming up with ideas for the embroidery pattern itself #so pls bear with me 😭😭 mainly i was trying to reference the diamond logo of renault #but most of it kinda just ended up being austrian knots i guess bcs thats what my mind defaults to #i thought the shoulder pad would be the most difficult but that came together the easiest and made the rest actually work in my head #aaahhh also im surprised w the angle of his face! im usually not good at side profiles as well as tilted down heads #but i think he looks pretty good honestly??? #also w the sketch i just wanted to post it bcs i liked his face okay 😭😭😭 #i wanted to paint it too but I realized im so naive thinking i could paint two of these horrifically detailed things in one session #but his face 🥹🥹 i like it!!! theres some renault era pic of him i really like where hes sun drenched and angry looking #^ and i think i captured the vibe well so!!!!! #well anyways mayhe ill draw more of this. it was fun but also like sucked my life force out bcs it kept going from easy to 'I CANT DO THIS' #the pictures of matadors are just...insane to me. tiny waist fat ass flamboyant costume. im dead 🫠 #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #catie.art. #fa14 #matador au

[aahsoka]

this ex fiancee plot is like. aggravating for no reason. we already need to contend with him not admitting he might die in ten years we dont uhhhh need this?

#its so bizarrely plotted lmfao #jordan talks #marry my husband #i just feel like theres enough going on with the dying still being a possibility and the cancer going to her friend etc etc etc #i get what ji won is feeling rn but i hope shes gonna work through it #bc it is an irrational response based on anxiety. this man did everything right to be in a relationship with her #and this ex fiancee is just annoying like no wonder he doesnt like u girl #tbh like she could have had these kinds of relationship anxiety issues to work through Without ~another woman~ #I did. so #but i guess its a drama so FINE ill suffer through the annoying ex fiancee . just promise me more cute shit and epiphany later

[bogslob]

Does anyone else just cease to function when AO3 is down like I’ll be doing something random at a time when I wouldn’t be able to read fan fic anyway but all I’m able to think about is when my stories are gonna be back

#i am definitely over reliant on fan fiction #im my defense I just got to a good bit #guess ill suffer #guess ill die #guess ill finally finish my book #ao3 #ao3 down #fan fiction #fan fic

[xxswagcorexx]

hell ya! please info dump about casino quartet that would be awesome

STARTS VIBRATING OKAY!! for those who dont know, casino quartet refers to the group/ship name of ash, branzy, clown, and red (also known as branzypierceswagdoons or the abcd's because. Ashswag Branzy Clown and red. Doons) . i am #)(%*@#()%*#(@% about them 4 reasons i will elaborate down the cut ^_^

reason one: oh my GOD the comedic potential of these fuckers is sooooo. not one ounce of communication or sanity between any of them god bless!!! they are all enablers of different things and all make each other worse!!!! they will kill each other over not doing the dishes!!! also the diff dynamics between all of them would be Insufferable like clown and branzy would just do So Much pda during the most inappropriate times while ash and red have to Put Up with it while beating the shit out of each other <3 cue clown and red coming back home and doing God Knows What (not talking about feelings straight up) (repressed emotions) (bullying) and ash and branzy get white girl wasted on whiteclaw of wine or whatever and ash bitches about red to branzy while branzy calls him babygirl (branzy is the only one that can call ash this) (once red overheard this and ash almost killed him) (he had to be held back by branzy and clown so he wouldn't kill him) (<- this one is sponsored by cherny)

ANYWAYS ash and clown r a funny bunch too. clown would Always attempt to get ash to do stupid shit and try to hit him with the big wet pathetic eyes and "but please?? for me.,.." and it only works 20% of the time when ash caves in (do not worry ash bullies clown back) (also literally based off of this) . both of them think they're the most normal ones . red and branzy r literally just vibing. imagine everyone else being insufferable/them being insufferable to others and they're like "omg hiiii bestie ^_^" and they chill and knit while drinking sweet tea together or whatever . they're awesome

REASON NUMBER 2: PUNCHES THE GROUND ok ok. they're like 0 canon content of them IN VIDEOS but u have to understand : the original team chaos had red in the group . and the only reason red left is bc they didn't tell him anything (also ash was asleep like 90% of the time L) but like. i think u Could do smth interesting with lingering feelings abt team chaos Esp considering ash Did go back to red and apologize for s3/team chaos and gave him favors .,.. that's if u wanna go Canon Compliant ofc but i think there Could be something that u could write abt clown and red being Farely loyal and strategic and ash and branzy being willing to betray and both being wildcards. i feel like u could do smth interesting with that (and also if you wanna go romantic) some polymary negotiations might b fun ti explore :thumbs_up: usually the Link between them is clown and red but i've also seen branzy and ash ^_^ either way they r rlly fun to think about either way!!!

i dont really like a reason number 3 so i will put this mangoball edit here . thank u for letting me indulge in my insanity

#mcyt #lifesteal smp #clownpierce #branzy #branzycraft #reddoons #ashswag #casino quartet #swagdoons #clownzy #branzypierce #mcytshipping #lsshipping #<- i guess #tw swearing #media.warning.swearing #tw caps #media.warning.caps #tw drinking #media.warning.drinking #i dont rlly ship them bc i Really like them as ambiguous/unlabeled/they don't event know what they are #but like: still. i love them so much i rotate them in my brain so much!!! #i Need more people to understand them #or like. be Aware of them #<- suffering as the only fics of them are by my friend (hi cherny if you're reading) and Me #anyways shout out to revolution cave they hear my mental illness first hand #anyways thank u for letting me indulge anon ^_^ just saying my dms r open at any time if u want to Talk about them #also to all of my followers: that invitation is 4 yall 2. or anyone really #they r a virus on my Brain #ask.core

[natsmagi]

tbh maybe this is a hot take but i really dont get why people insist on having one person in natsumugi be this Super Toxic one and the other a victim. the easiest conclusion to draw is natsume being the bad guy and tsumugi the victim due to natsume getting physical and berating him at times but far too commonly do i see people insist that its the other way around and that tsumugi is actually the super toxic one and natsume just lets tsumugi emotionally manipulate him and thats ?? so weird to me ??? both of these are so weird to me ???

i can ofc see where theyre coming from. both natsume and tsumugi have plenty of issues going on in their heads. i feel like natsumes situation is more commonly understood as him simply just being difficult though and not being the best at managing his emotions, and with tsumugi i get it because he doesnt really have much of a moral compass. he doesnt quite understand peoples feelings and it results in him doing pretty fucked up things at times, but to then frame him as someone who would be abusive?? that doesnt sit right with me

tsumugi may not understand peoples emotions and be apathetic to the struggles people are going through, but its clear to anyone that that man has good intentions at the end of the day. at WORST he may get overbearingly controlling, but its never in a "you cant do x y z" way, its in a "i signed us up for this job opportunity because i thought it sounded nice and didnt speak it through with you beforehand and now we have to do it" way. had this been 2nd year tsumugi maybe he wouldve been far more desperate and even manipulative to an extent because he was in such a dark place, but current day tsumugi is actively trying to understand people better. hes trying to learn how to feel. in wonder game he even outright said that natsume taught him pain and everything else. his growth is clear

i cannot see tsumugi taking advantage of natsume in a genuinely destructive way with modern day ntmg. again, maybe during the earlier !-era stuff he could be more destructive, but natsume also does a relatively good job keeping tsumugi in his place during that time too, with him getting physical and all. its only in !!-era where tsumugi doesnt really mind it and can even make playful jokes about it because theyve Had this development in their relationship. theyve moved Past many of their toxic attributes, and theyve finally grown to understand one another. this is also when tsumugi can have a more "dominating" role in their relationship, since natsume has come to trust him to this extent, but tsumugi wouldnt take advantage of that. again; theyve now grown very close and understanding of one another. theyll have banters such as tsumugi wanting natsume to do something like idk. wear a dress. to which natsume will reply with kys but again. in !!-era this is banter and tsumugi wouldnt actually force natsume to do something he doesnt want to. theyre just very comfortable with each other now

i also really hate the position natsume gets put in with all of this. so often he is already hyperfeminized by the fandom for no reason whatsoever (which is especially fucked up considering how much he canonically hates being seen as a girl), and by making tsumugi this manipulative and abusive partner youre stripping natsume of even more autonomy and framing him as powerless. naively in love with a man thats hurting him. and that doesnt sit right with me either!! natsume does have a big heart and he has endured more than he probably should, but to think natsume would just take it ??? natsume has BACKBONE. if tsumugi upsets him he will either 1. get really mad at him or 2. start ignoring tsumugi alltogether. hes not just gonna put up with it. and tsumugi will notice this change in demeanor. ask if hes done something wrong. he may not understand what it was he did but he never intends on hurting natsume and would genuinely want to resolve it. tsumugi isnt stubborn in this regard, if he fucks up he wants to fix it. and natsume isnt a damsel in distress, why do you want him to be a helpless maiden so bad ??

theres alot of nuance to all of this and im obviously not gonna tackle every single element of their relationship and this is just an overview but TL;DR ntmg are both awful and have many faults and their relationship has gotten incredibly unhealthy at times but the point is theyre growing PAST that. maybe sometimes these toxic traits of theirs will resurface, but that does not make one the abuser and the other the victim. theyre just two fucked up people in love, standing as equals and learning to understand one another. stop framing one as evil

#i hope this is coherent again sorry if i like. forgot something crucial. this is a heat of the moment ramble #i also feel like in general this fandom is obsessed with making things edgier than they actually are #but i guess thats what we get for hyping enstars up as this Super Fucked Up Idol Media #when its like. no guys the characters are just complex and act like human beings would #both natsume and ESPECIALLY tsumugi have suffered alot #so to make one of them #ESPECIALLY tsumugi #out to be an abuser when if you read the text you can see him actively try to better himself #is quite insulting to me. idk #again this isnt me saying neither natsume or tsumugi cant do incredibly fucked up things #but goddamn this fandom is addicted to reducing charas to singular traits #nat rambles #MAYBE ILL DELETE THIS LATER I GOT A LIL HEATED BUT #BROAD HAND GESTURES #nats enst posting