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#guillermo still too fresh looking
beansprean · 1 year
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More Pushing Daisies AU feat. Derek as Emerson Cod! (that last one is a quote from the show I stg)
PS don't forget to check out @luckshiptoshore's fic for more Pushing Daisies AU goodness!!!
(ID in alt and under cut)
1a. Full body drawing of human Derek, dressed in jeans and a leather jacket over a bright orange spotted shirt, standing with his hand tucked uncomfortably into his armpits as he winces down at Guillermo, who is crouched over a dead body laying on the ground. Guillermo is wearing a brown leather jacket over a blue collared shirt and black leather gloves, one glove removed to poke the corpse on the nose to re-dead it while the other hand holds up the white cloth covering the rest of the body. Guillermo does so very casually, but Derek lets out a disgusted "Ew." 1b. Close up as Guillermo stands up, pulling his glove back on, and furrows his brow over at Derek. He asks, "Do you really have to say that every time?" Derek, shoulders still hunched up, replies matter-of-factly, "I'm keeping the horror fresh; if I get too used to all this, I won't get into heaven."
2a. Guillermo in a black tee shirt, washing dishes in the sink in the foreground with his cell phone pressed between his ear and shoulder. He says, "Hey Derek, who's murdered?" In the background, human the Guide in a blue minidress and apron is leaning up against the counter where human Nandor, in a bright yellow tee shirt, is sitting with a slice of pie and talking with a smile. 2b. Derek, on the other end of the phone, is sitting in a bubble bath with a glass of white wine in his free hand. He replies, "Oh. Uh, somebody, probably... What're you up to?" 2c. Repeat of 2a. Nandor begins laughing uproariously at whatever the Guide said, slamming his fist - which is holding a fork - on the counter repeatedly and spraying pie everywhere. The Guide laughs, too, less destructively. Guillermo turns to look at the noise, keeping his hands in the sink and the phone sandwiched to his ear as he says, "Uh...my elbows in soap." There is a gasp on the other end of the line, and Derek cries "Me, too!"
3a. Full body of Guillermo in a black tee shirt and apron, hands up in a frustrated, lamenting gesture. He cries, What am I compared to someone who can catch him when he falls?! I can't catch him!" Derek, standing next to him wearing a dusty purple checkered suit over a mottled pink shirt, adds, "Can't suck his toes, either." 3b. Guillermo turns his head to look at Derek incredulously, arms frozen in the air. Derek looks away, throwing one hand palm-up in a helpless gesture and clarifying, "Some people like that." /End ID
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peoplesgraves · 2 years
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Fresh Meat
Yandere Wwdits X Witch Reader
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“I don’t understand why we need a new roommate.” Nadia glares as Nandor obviously upset at the thought of yet another annoying housemate.
Nandor shrinks behind Guillermo the tiniest bit to avoid Nadja’s fury. “Well we’ve all been together a long time. It’s gotten a little stale and I think some fresh meat is just what we need. Right Lazlo?”
Both Nadia and Nandor look around for the other vampire before Guillermo speaks up. “He out attending to his…garden. Said he ‘couldn’t be fucked’ with this roommate thing.”
Nadia rolls her eyes and Nandor bears his fangs in a displeased frown. “The bloody donkey is leaving me to do it all on my own?”
“Fucking guy.”
The three sit in silence for a few minutes until there’s a knock on the door. “Ah the first applicant must be here. Guillermo go and fetch Lazlo, we should all do this together.”
Nadja begrudgingly stands to open the door. Her fingers ghost the knob but she stops short, speaking again. “Tell him if he doesn’t get in here, I’ll kill him”
Guillermo disappears outside and finally the string of prospective roommates begins. After almost 3 hours, the 3 vampires and even Guillermo are exhausted.
“Not one decent candidate in the whole lot. Not even a nice human so we could get a meal out of this.” Lazlo glares at Nandor “nice job Nandor”
Pretty soon the two are bearing fangs and hissing at each other while Nadja ignores them and Guillermo can only deadpan at the camera. The three vampires don’t notice as the door creaks open and one last candidate steps inside.
“Master? Master!”
“What Guillermo? Is this who you are now, yelling at your master?” Nandor looks equal parts annoyed and hurt but with both Lazlo and Nadja it’s pure annoyance.
Guillermo merely points to the new presence. Long past being upset with the vampires behavior.
the vampires scrutinize you carefully. It’s obvious that you’re not like them but you’re not fully like Guillermo either. You’re a different creature entirely.
Both Nandor and Lazlo are mesmerized by you right away while Nadja is a bit more stubborn. She too is drawn to you but still she manages to keep her wits. “No way. No way am I living with a fucking witch.”
“It’s either her or the guy with the tentacles” each vampire makes a face at the thought. So disgusted by the idea that they dont even bother asking you questions or do anything more than glance at your application.
It’s Lazlo who speaks first, something he’ll surely get earful for from his wife later. “Welcome to the house!”
Each vampire can feel their non existent heart beats speed up at the smile you give them.
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fareehaandspaniards · 7 months
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Hi Fareeha! I was wondering, about your bloodborne ships what was your first impressions of them?
What intrigued you and what happen that made you like them that much now? Or did it just came naturally? ;)
I am sorry it took so long! It's 1 PM right now, I managed to GOT up somehow lol... Don't even remember how fell asleep yesterday. Also was occupied with fanfic, trying my best, etc... But to the topic:
Since my first ship was gehrmaria, I’ll start with it.
Romance, sadness, age difference... An old hunter grieving for his beloved who has passed away. All this reminded me of old european ballads that I was reading in my 16... A very beautiful story, unexpectedly romantic for Bloodborne (although it can be interpreted in different ways, not only romantically, but still it is fascinating). Let me add that they both look aesthetically stunning! They are classical, they are tragical, they are... perfection.
First impression for all other ships was: "How do you guys know anything about them?? There is nothing in game about them!!! How can you ship Caryll, mf is not even NPC?? Where do you get an information?? Who tf is Edgar? Oh, I killed him?..."
I swear I was shocked, when learned that fandom has CRAZY amount of ships. First Playtrough I barely got who is Laurence lmao, what IS Healing Church and so on... I can say sincerely - I started to Really understand, why is Valtr insane, why Laurence is VICAR, not bishop, why Annalise's hair are white and not brown, who tf can be siblings in a damned Research Hall and etc ONLY because of @katyahina timeline. My brain can't contain SO MANY info I swear, but I am trying, getting Insight every time I read this (in a good way ofc, I want to see Amygdalas in my sweet Yharnam-like city!)
So. Ships with Micolash. At first I brought him together with my hunter, Guillermo, and was pleased with myself - my story for them sounded convincing, thoughtful and hot xdd Guillermo - a madly in love hunter who, for seeing a drop of light in Micolash (in his past) and hearing Kos's whispers, is ready to die a hundred times, endure literally everything... Poor man! xD And Micolash who is insane enough to feel neverending cycle of NewGames, I mean, that he may even remember that he died already from hunter's hand, that hunter killed him 4 different ways, and I think Micolash would be frightened and lost? He genuinely thought that Nightmare is a perfect realm, HIS realm, but it turns out that someone else is good as Micolash himself to eat cords and ascend but succesfully. Oooof. I like that, Love and Despair, Love/Hate and etc. Oc x canon is really fine, when there are FEELINGS and TENSION between your char and canonical char.
After some time I got to know that silly guy with glasses on from a bridge is somehow really interesting deep character! xD And he's a cutie himself! (I mean look at him. My sweet accountant, my beloved nerd, and it's not a sarcasm!! He looks exquisite) I really like Edgar x Micolash for my beloved love/hate theme, slight toxicity and Edgar’s unspoken dependence on his enemy (Micolash is often made too “submissive” in their pairing. He may be and even must be bottom, but he is too much dominant as a person to be so naive and crying because Edgar-senpai is ignoring him). Edgar is a choir boy, soft, afraid of Micolash, is angry with him, but inside he cannot live without his attention. And Micolash - I think he liked Edgar as something unusual, fresh in his life (or death), something absolutely different from everything he had seen. Moreover, a spy. Moreover, he is so confident in the Church. But can change his opinion and most likely will. A perfect object of entertainment and moral debate. You can break him and win him over to your side. Nice pairing. I'm still in love.
Laurence x Micolash - kjdsflak;sdjfwernmfklaaaawoooooo!!!11!1! This ship is driving me crazy, I can't!! xD They look great together, they are similar, they are two brilliant minds seeking for knowledge, two scientists, two rivals, two assholes. But it seems to me that they would definitely have separated, because such similar people are unlikely to be together for a long time. I mean, they both need primacy too much. And it would destroy them. I also don't like Laurence, I can't help it. Maybe because I still don't fully understand his character?.. Maybe.
Damian x Micolash - amazing! I am now captivated by this pairing and am writing a story based on it. They are beautiful combination of an adult, serious Damian and an energetic, hot-tempered Micolash, as a couple they are divine. Damian... still waters run deep and all that. He is strong, thoughtful, cold, he can knock out any threat to his loved one. As a former Tomb Prospector and a Mensis Scholar, a byrgerkinght student, he must be really educated and smart, but also well-built and powerful, graceful and deadly. Micolash is his master and also a little boy. I headcanon that Damian is like 15 years older than him? And that's great. Wonderful, soft ship with a deep conflict of Damian's humanity and Micolash's curiosity and confidence.
Am I shipping anything else? With such passion - no. But in general, I like Laurence/Ludwig, Caryll/Rom, recently one nice person helped me realize the potential of Micolash/Adeline and I am kinda hmmmmm interested? XD I need more time to think of it. I met this pairing earlier but was like "pppft they couldn't even met!", don't blame me :'D
I respect all pairings, if they have something like plot in them. It’s especially nice to see when an artist or writer is truly devoted to his favorite couple and describes it with soul, it just makes you look at the couple from a different angle and start scrutiny.
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diamondcitydarlin · 2 years
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wow wow ok uh I'm watching the fight scene again apparently through completely fresh eyes bc it's been since the airing that I've watched it tbh but oh wow ok
"It's a very dangerous world out there." "You're joking, right? It's me who's been protecting you!" "So what, you shooed away some assassins, who gives a shit?"
and then the scene where Nandor refuses to turn him because he sees vampirism as a curse that guillermo doesn't deserve to deal with and couldn't possibly consent to because he doesn't understand what it means to live that way (which, to nandor at this point, means to be endlessly miserable)
see this is why the 'Nandor is toxic' arguments frustrate me because okay yeah sure he is, but he's also emotionally repressed and very, very clearly preoccupied with what he believes is best and safest for Guillermo. When he brushes off Guillermo's abilities here he's not actually undermining and insulting him just for the sake of cruelty or because he doesn't care, but because he's trying to convince Guillermo he's not good for him, his way of life as a vampire is not safe or fair for Guillermo to resign himself to. I get that it's vague and easily seen as Nandor just being a dick but like, honestly, if anyone in the show is protective of Guillermo's best interest (at least what they perceive that to be) it's Nandor. Like?? This should've confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that Nandor's constant rejection of and pushing Guillermo away is because, in his own ridiculous, well-meaning but foolish way, he fully knows and believes he doesn't deserve him. Sure, Nandor might still be selfish enough to let Guillermo stick around in a servant capacity, and I think to some extent that is the work of years of both of them being completely shut off, consciously, from deeper feelings that were forming- so by the time they're hopelessly in love with each other it's too late to do the right thing lol. Nandor didn't expect or probably even want to fall in love with his familiar, but now that he is he's got to keep that distance at all costs.
And honestly it's so sweet to me in a weird I guess fucked up way idk, that despite witnessing Guillermo destroy an entire theater of vampires on his own, Nandor still believes at this point that he has to protect him- not necessarily from other vampires hurting him, but from himself.
So, okay. That's really what makes the difference when Guillermo finally 'crosses blades' with Nandor. In doing so, he demonstrates that he will not hesitate to stop Nandor from doing something he'd regret, and that if Nandor were to try to hurt him, intentionally or otherwise, Guillermo physically can stop him. And will. It really didn't matter if Guillermo killed a hundred, a thousand vampires on his own, Nandor needed to know that he could and WOULD stop him too, even for whatever affection they feel for each other.
In a very strange way, this is the watershed moment where they make those boundaries clear, and thus the way forward to them being something more than just master and familiar is revealed. They'll run away together, finally.
Until this point I fully believe, for Nandor, that Guillermo was a non-option for anything but familiar. He wasn't to be drunk from by anyone, he wasn't to be looked at, he wasn't to be encouraged in vampirism or closeness with any of them, and anything in the vein of being lovers, well- unthinkable, and all for the sake of his safety and preservation. Nandor wanted to keep Guillermo wrapped up in a little cotton box for himself, like a little porcelain doll that he could admire and pine for from afar and still enjoy his companionship. He probably knew this was selfish and wrong too, in some part of him, but i have no doubt he justified it away time and time again. 'He's just a familiar' 'Well I'll turn him someday so it's not a complete lie. Someday.' etc etc etc
And I mean, couple this in consideration with the many, many times Nandor has risked his own immortal life for the chance to spare Guillermo's. Whenever he's really been in danger, Nandor's there to save him or give an excuse that puts himself at risk. Like. Ugh. I know Nandor's demonstrations of this are fucked up, but my god he loves Guillermo.
And also significant, this toxic way of dealing with his feelings applies only to when they're -not- in a relationship. That's been dealt with, I believe, to the point that when they are finally at that point it's going to be a different dynamic entirely (just a guess, but I'm thinking horribly openly unashamedly besotted with each other bc they finally get to be)
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tchotchkez · 7 months
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listen y'all so I finally got my car back from the mechanic after 3 weeks and spending $2000 bucks getting her fixed, and then LITERALLY ON THE WAY HOME this 16-20 something year old who looked and sounded EXACTLY LIKE GUILLERMO DE LA CRUZ rear-ended me in a minivan but when we got out to look at the damage he was about to cry and kept gently touching my shoulder and apologizing profusely so we looked and despite the sound and jerk of the impact there was literally no damage besides a couple tiny scratches?? because lords know I was about to throw that little guy into fresh hot traffic right next to us but maybe he really did have van helsing blood because he was spared and so was I. like I swear this little babey got back in his minivan and did the sign of the cross and probably said his hail mary's too. I hope he didn't tell on himself because nothing was wrong in the end
but still! what the fuck are those odds and chances fuck my whole life and all my nerves apparently!
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bike42 · 3 months
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After a couple of days of relaxing and soaking up the wonderful atmosphere, we were ready for adventure so Guillermo at the resort pulled some strings and put together and all day Deep Sea Fishing Adventure for us.
We set an alarm to wake up early - breakfast at 6:30a and on the boat by 7a. The “Albatross” is owned by Bradd, but they had to find a “helper” as they only have a Captain for whatever reason.
At 7a, we jumped on a small boat at the dock that took us out to the Albatross. It was a very nice boat, piloted from the upper deck which made a nice comfortable mostly shaded space for us underneath. Bonus for the Albatross as it had a “head.” Much appreciated for an all day excursion offering beer!!
We met Captian Maynor and Alonso, the young man making the magic happen! They explained we’d motor out to sea about 1.5 hours, then we’d begin to troll for Mahi.
They both went up top and we enjoyed the scenery - looking at the beaches that we’d walked to the day before yesterday. The sea was very calm, and we both love riding in boats so we quickly settled in for the journey.
I was in the middle of my second (of many) naps for the day when the boat suddenly slowed - there was a large pod of dolphins, which apparently signal there are fish there too. I could have been satisfied just watching the dolphins! They were jumping on our wake and seemed to be having a ball!
Alonso quickly got to work rigging our eight poles for trolling. Some went directly off the back, others were strung from rigging off to either side. The result looked (from the boat) like a small school of fish frolicking behind us.
Then we waited. There were a few false alarms early on - very exciting. Lots more schools of porpoises, a couple more naps, and the morning lazed by.
At one point, a tiny bird appeared and tried several times to land on the rigging. He finally made it, and looked a little rough. He stayed there awhile, then took off and came back several times and once landed on the side of the boat close to me. I put some water into the cap of my water bottle and he had a few sips. He made a move towards my fingers and I yelped and dropped the water, and he flew off of course. But he kept coming back, getting a little braver each time. Alonso was just getting lunch out of the cooler so we tried to feed him some bread and fruit, but he didn’t eat anything. He got so used to us that he started walking on us - a bit freaky to me. He rested and drank some more water and looked less shaken than when he’d first arrived. He came and went a few more times, and then was just gone - hopefully to wherever home is!
We’d just cleaned up lunch when a fish finally hit - I was just getting the belt on when he dropped off. I didn’t have my sandals on and my feet were burning! I put my chacos on and soon another fish hit. Alonso set the hook and then handed it off to me while he brought in the other lines. It was tough work to bring the mahi in! I’m glad my hands are stronger from rowing!!
After that about another hour of trolling with no more bites. The crew felt bad, but we were okay with the result - great day in a boat on a beautiful sea - and fresh fish to share with others at the resort. We motored quite close to Cano Island, then turned towards land, arriving back at 4pm. Bradd met us at the dock and felt bad that we’d only got one fish. We were more excited to tell our story about the bird!
We were delighted to hear that we’d be in room #9 for the rest of our time here, so we showered and got really settled into the room. We still have some loud talking neighbors, but we’re used to it now.
They served my Mahi sushimi style for appetizers tonight, and it’ll be on the menu tomorrow night. We ate dinner with a couple from Oakland that just arrived and possibly bored them with our stories! It’s a different kind of vacation with not having to decide where to eat, and having rotating dinner companions. I like it!!
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nandorthefangless · 2 years
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nandor isn’t waiting for guillermo to prove himself before turning him into a vampire he’s waiting until guillermo is a dilf
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alright, the post no one has been waiting for: my what we do in the shadows headcanons
guillermo
literally so fucking strong. i imagine that hes able to benchpress nandor. alternatively, if you’re not being murdered by him, he gives very tight and loving bear hugs
calls nandor cariño, mi rey, and tesoro. when hes pissed off at nandor though, he says them in much harsher tones, especially cariño
all the vampire hunting and looking for virgins would give the guy some impeccable intuition. so much in fact that nadja starts to ask him for vibe checks
colin robinson
when going on trips, he’s the bitch to have a strict itinerary. he makes sure to have plans down to the minute, and will insist on moving on even if you’re not done
favorite food is peanut butter. it gets stuck on the roof of your mouth and makes it impossible to function. man has a bunker’s worth of jif
loves drawing still lives of just. the most basic things. he has sketchbooks of just drawings of staplers and lopsided mugs
nandor
ive mentioned this before, but he’s a brony. like his basketball memorabilia, he has a huge collection of the toys, starting from the 80’s. rainbow dash reminds him of jahan the most. he has ponysonas for everyone
he most definitely relapses back into the “human” phase. although this time hes not slipping out to go to an aerobic cult. guillermo does catch him try to pull his fangs out, but slowly and surely he’s learning to cope better (mostly through jazzercise and roller skating)
loves collecting things on the ground like a toddler. he’ll stop guillermo to show him a rolly polly, or comes home with pockets full of pebbles and loose change. guillermo keeps every pretty leaf nandor gives him
lazlo
thinks “bottom text top text” memes are the pinnacle of comedy. he will chase you down to show you a bad luck brian meme
spends more time with sean. goes over to watch football games and let sean vent to him. sean’s the first one to call lazlo his “sweet cheese” and it’s stuck ever since. i like to think sean gave him a football jersey, and lazlo has a painting of himself in it
hates the beatles. they’re british, they’ve taken his music, and they are a mockery of all he’s worked for. what he doesn’t realize is that one of his favorite songs, lucy in the sky with diamonds, is by them. guillermo and nadja have not had the heart to tell him
and last (and certainly not least), nadja
she LOVES nicki minaj. nadja thought she was too loud at first, but has grown to love her. guillermo once took her to a nicki concert, and as the barb she is, turner nicki into a vampire
likes the smell of fresh laundry. she loves the change in smell from virgin blood to gain. also likes the smell of the hot iron, but always makes sure not to touch it (guillermo knows she can’t get hurt but it’s mostly for his own sake)
buys all different little librarian glasses (yk the ones with chains). crescents, ovals, you name em she’s got them. one time let nandor make her a rainbow loom glasses chain. said she hated it but it’s her most worn pair
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vampireshmampire · 2 years
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A Hole in the Family Portrait (Ch 5/5)
Guillermo is gone, and his absence is so palpable even the new familiar notices. Nandor's so busy moping he might miss his chance find a way to bring him back, and lose him forever.
But Guillermo's heard too many apologies already. It's going to take something really, really big.
“So,” Guillermo says, brightly. His skin is waxy and there are dark bags under his eyes, but he is nonetheless cheerful and excited. “I’m a vampire. Not one hundred percent yet. I have to drink human blood first. I can still see myself in the mirror a little, which is great, because I can see what I look like.”
Guillermo stands in front of a mirror, hissing and baring his fangs. His reflection is cloudy, and moves a second slower than Guillermo does.
Guillermo nods and grins winder.
“I look good.”
He continues to nod for a bit, then presses his lips together.
“I do feel terrible though. Like physically. Everything hurts. So I’d like to get the whole process over with sooner rather than later.”
Guillermo stands behind Rusty, eying him critically as he tapes fresh newspaper over the windows.
“I’m having a surprisingly hard time letting go of being a familiar. I guess old habits die hard.”
“No. No. Stop.” He flaps a hand at Rusty, who hurriedly backs away. Guillermo begins to fold up the pieces of newspaper in a very particular way. “You need layers, but you also need to be able to move them to see out if you need to. You have to be careful.”
“I just want it done right.”
Rusty is cleaning in Nandor’s room. He cringes back as Guillermo stalks in.
Guillermo jerks the feather duster out of Rusty’s hand and glares at him. The familiar scrambles out of Nandor’s room as Guillermo begins to dust off the suit of armor in the corner.
“Nandor doesn’t really approve. He’s pretty hot on the whole ‘you are a vampire not a familiar’ thing.”
Nandor enters, holding Rusty by the scruff of his shirt, Rusty’s feet dragging as he is pulled too quickly to keep up. Nandor sets the familiar down next to Guillermo, who opens his mouth, expression defensive. Before he can speak, Nandor pulls the feather duster out of his hand and gives it to Rusty.
Guillermo tries to speak again, but Nandor takes him firmly by the arm and leads him out of the room. Rusty glances nervously at the camera, and resumes dusting.
“Guillermo is a vampire now,” Nandor tells the camera sternly. “He should not be doing familiar things. He should be doing vampire things.”
Nandor looks very nervous. He drums his fingers on his knees, eyes flicking around the room.
“Guillermo still hasn’t said anything about the…other thing we discussed.”
“I am in love with you, obviously.”
“I haven’t said anything either, but I do not want to push. It is his decision to make. I am not afraid,” he adds. Then he shoves an unprepared and slightly terrified smile onto his face. “But he hasn’t left yet! That is a good sign, right?”
-
Guillermo smiles.
“Obviously I’m staying. I’m in love with him, I mean–” He laughs. “Duh. You guys have been watching, right?”
A brief montage: many, many shots of Guillermo gazing fondly from a distance.
Guillermo makes a sheepish grimace around the smile.
“I’m just not telling him that because–and I know how it sounds, I do, but after everything I’ve been through, I think I'm allowed to be a little petty.”
Guillermo walks into the library, strolling over to where Nandor stands beside a bookshelf.
“Hey, I just needed to grab something.” He goes up on his tiptoes and reaches for a book, apparently unaware that his face is inches from Nandor’s. He wobbles slightly and puts out a hand to grab the bookshelf…on the other side of Nandor, essentially pinning the vampire between the bookshelf and his own body.
Nandor is very still, his eyes wide and fixed on the face close enough to kiss. He swallows hard.
“Got it.” Guillermo manages to tug the book free and sinks back down. He grins up at Nandor. “Hi.”
“...hello,” Nandor manages. Guillermo lets go of the bookshelf and gives Nandor’s shoulder a friendly squeeze, which makes Nandor start slightly. Then he turns and leaves. With his back to Nandor, he smirks at the camera and waggles his eyebrows.
Nandor stares after him, longingly.
Guillermo’s grin is now mischievous.
“I like making him squirm.” He holds up two fingers very close together. “Juuust a little.”
-
“I had no idea he’d take my jibe as advice,” Colin Robinson says. “I was just trying to get a rise out of him, rub a little salt in the wound. I’d never deliberately try to help my friend think of a way to win back the love of his life.”
He gives a little laugh.
“C’mon, does that sound like something I’d do? And I definitely didn’t miss having Guillermo around the house. No, I know you didn’t ask me that, I just wanted to make sure everyone was on the same page.”
-
“It’s really nice of you to let me take your old room.”
Guillermo leans against the wall as Rusty unpacks the things he’s brought down from the attic.
“Hey, I’m not going to be using it anymore,” Guillermo says, cheerfully. He presses his tongue to a fang, absentmindedly testing it.
Rusty glances at the many, many black tallymarks.
“Were you really a familiar for ten years?”
“More like eleven,” Guillermo says. “But I’ve known familiars who were in service for decades. Like, thirty, forty years.”
Rusty swallows hard. As casually as he can, and sounding very unconvincing, he says “do you…really think they won’t turn me? I mean, they, they said they would–”
“Oh, of course they will,” Guillermo says, hurriedly. “I was just mad and lashing out, you know how it is. Nadja and Laszlo are great, I’m sure they’ll turn you when the time is right.”
He gives Rusty a reassuring smile. As soon as Rusty looks away, the smile is gone. Guillermo presses his lips together, looks at the camera, and shakes his head.
“You left a couple things behind when you left. I don’t know if you want them back?”
“Oh, my sweater! I was wondering where that went.” He takes it off the pile. “You can keep the other stuff, I don’t really–”
Guillermo freezes. His grip tightens on the sweater as he stares down at the bed and the carefully repaired glitter portrait that had been hidden under the sweater.
Rusty gives the camera an uncomfortable look, but says nothing as Guillermo lifts the picture off the bed. The new vampire flips the portrait over and stares at the careful lines of tape.
“Where–Where did you find this? Did you put this back together?”
“No! It was like that when I found it. It was there on the desk when I first found this place.”
Guillermo adjusts his grip, folding the sweater over his arm so he can hold the picture carefully in both hands. His eyes trace over the jagged lines where the portrait doesn’t quite fit back together. He swallows hard.
“Thanks,” he says abruptly, and forces a smile onto his face. “I’ll…I’ll hang on to that.”
-
Guillermo tosses the sweater onto the bed of his new room and sits down beside it, still staring at the picture in his hands.
“It was while I was packing. I was just going to leave it behind. I thought that would be enough. But then he came down and–I can’t remember what he said, something about wasn’t this proof he appreciated me or something. And I remembered the night he gave it to me, my ten year anniversary as a familiar, and him thinking it was two years, and, and I got so angry–”
He lets out a sigh, even though he doesn’t need to breathe anymore.
“I ripped it up. Right in front of him. Tossed the pieces on the ground and walked out. I didn’t even say goodbye.”
Guillermo is quiet for a moment.
“He must have…have fixed it. After I left. Even after everything I said.”
The scene may as well have had subtitles at the bottom saying the glitter portrait is a metaphor for their relationship.
Guillermo clears his throat and carefully puts the poster on the bedside table, arranging it so it stands up, visible to the rest of the room.
“I’m…I should uh. Finish unpacking.”
-
An exterior view of the house at night, then brief shots of the household getting dressed. The vampires are particularly fussy about their appearances, Nadja snapping at Rusty every time he brings the wrong pair of shoes.
“Tonight is a very important night,” Guillermo says to the camera. “Tonight I drink human blood and become a full vampire.”
He buttons up a plain blue shirt. After some hesitation, he leaves the top one undone and adjusts the shirt so his collarbone is visible.
“I wanted to dress up, you know, special occasion, but apparently your first time tends to be really messy so it’s better to wear stuff you don’t mind getting a lot of blood on. At first I thought, c’mon, I’ve been watching you guys do this for eleven years, I think I know what I’m doing. But I realized reading a book about Michelangelo doesn���t make you a master sculptor. And I don’t want to ruin my good vest.”
“I’m a little nervous, but everyone is being really supportive. Even Colin Robinson. In…his own way.”
-
Laszlo slaps Guillermo on the back as everyone gathers in one of the bigger communal rooms. Plastic sheets have been laid down over most of the rugs and furniture.
“Don’t worry about messing up, Guillermo,” Colin Robinson says. “If you make an idiot out of yourself, we’ll be the only ones who remember for the rest of our lives.”
Guillermo gives the camera an unamused look.
-
The man is classically handsome, with bright eyes and a nervous smile. He glances around at the room, at the plastic sheets covering the furniture.
“Uh, hi–”
Nadja waves a hand.
“Shut up. Hold still, and don’t scream. Everything is fine.”
The man goes slack.
“Cool,” he says.
All eyes turn to Guillermo, who hesitates, glancing nervously between the cameras and the victim. Nandor gives Guillermo a gentle push.
“Go on,” he says, encouragingly. You can do it.”
Guillermo stands in front of the man and hesitates.
“Where do I put my hands?” he asks, turning to look back at everyone.
“On his shoulders,” Nandor says, encouragingly.
“He’s too tall,” Laszlo mutters. Nadja glares at Rusty.
“Why did you get someone so tall?” she whispers furiously.
“I’m, I’m sorry,” Rusty whispers back, cringing. “I didn’t think–”
“No, you didn’t,” she hisses, “and now Guillermo is going to have a very awkward first time drinking blood and it is all your fault!”
Suddenly Colin Robinson nudges Nadja in the ribs.
“Maybe not.”
Guillermo cradles the back of the man’s head in one hand. The man is staring into his eyes, dumbstruck by more than Nadja’s hypnosis.
“Come here,” Guillermo says, and there’s a strange inflection in his voice.
“Okay,” the man says. He leans down, eyes sliding shut.
The camera shifts briefly to Nandor, whose face is carefully blank. The vampire has pulled his cape around him in such a way that his lower half is concealed.
Guillermo strikes like a snake, burying his fangs deep in the human’s throat. He drinks and drinks. The vampires look on with expressions of unusually open affection.
“Attaboy, Gizmo.”
“He is a natural,” Nandor says, proudly.
Guillermo drops the body. Blood is smeared around his mouth and spattered onto the front of his blue shirt. He looks at Nandor, eyes blazing with bloodlust and regular lust.
Colin Robinson steps smartly out of the way as Guillermo collides with Nandor. They both go crashing back against the wall. Their mouths meet, hands grasp desperately at clothes and hair and skin alike. They seem to have forgotten that anyone else is in the room, and possibly the world at large.
The camera hurriedly turns away.
“I remember my first blood-drunk sexual frenzy,” Lazlo says. Nadja smiles and clasps her hands together.
“Oh, it is so sweet.”
Offscreen, there is the sound of tearing fabric, and a snarl so animalistic it is hard to imagine that the throat making it was ever anything like human. Rusty flinches and backs away, expression horrified.
“Let’s give them a little privacy, yes?” Nadja suggests, gripping Rusty firmly by the shoulders and turning him to face the other way. The camera remains very carefully turned away from the tumult on the far side of the room, but the mic picks up the moans and growls and the sound of splintering wood.
“Alright you crazy kids, try not to go too wild,” Lazlo calls into the room, then shuts the door and shakes his head, smiling.
“Have fun cleaning that up,” Colin Robinson tells Rusty, who gives a half-hearted laugh.
Nadja smiles.
“I love a happy ending.” Her smile twists into a smirk and she leans in to say at the camera “Sounds like Guillermo does too.”
This is met with great amusement, but when Rusty laughs, Laszlo smacks him across the back of his head.
“You don’t get to laugh, you moron, you nearly ruined the whole thing.”
Nadja grabs his hand.
“Come on, Laszlo, let’s go reenact your first blood drinking.”
“Ooh, I don’t know if we can, my darling. Where are we going to get a horse at this hour?”
“Use your imagination!” she says, playfully, and drags him down the hall.
-
“Is it like that every time?”
The camera moves slowly down the hall, picking up soft voices. The door is open slightly, either pushed open by someone checking on the vampires within, or perhaps knocked loose by their exertions. The room is a mess. Furniture is upended, shelves knocked clear, shreds of clothing scattered freely. Nandor lies on his back, Guillermo’s head resting on his chest, their modesty protected only by the cape draped over them. Guillermo traces his fingers back and forth across Nandor’s skin, expression distant and thoughtful.
“The sex or the blood drinking?” Nandor asks.
“The blood drinking.”
“Sometimes if you get really hungry, but mostly no.”
“Mm. Probably a good thing. I don’t think I could handle it if it was like that every time.”
“The sex or the blood drinking?”
“Both.”
“Oh, good. I was going to try, for you, if you wanted, but uh, kind of wears me out.”
Guillermo chuckles, but his expression quickly grows serious.
“I, uh. I found the glitter portrait.”
Nandor goes very still, staring at the ceiling.
“Mm?” he says, in what is clearly an attempt to sound casual.
“I’m sorry I tore it up,” Guillermo says. “And…I’m glad you fixed it.”
Nandor puts his hand over Guillermo’s.
“I am glad you came home.”
Guillermo tilts his head back to smile at Nandor.
“Me too.”
Nandor fiddles with the cape, smoothing it out and adjusting the edges so it lays over them more neatly.
“Speaking of you coming home, about the other question? The one that you were going to wait until after you were a vampire to answer…?”
Guillermo pushes himself up onto an elbow and looks down at Nandor with astonishment.
“You really have to ask?” he says. “After all that?”
“Just because someone will fuck me does not mean they will love me,” Nandor says, simply. Guillermo’s surprise softens, and he leans down to press a gentle kiss to Nandor’s cheek.
“I can do both,” he promises, with a hint of a smile.
“And will you?”
“I will.”
Nandor lets out a surprisingly loud sigh of relief and slumps back. Guillermo laughs.
"It's not funny!" Nandor protests, without much heat. "I was really worried."
“Well,” Guillermo says, walking his fingers up Nandor’s chest. “Allow me to reassure you.”
“What does that mean?” Nandor asks, confused.
“It means I’m going to fuck your brains out.”
“Oh!” Nandor says, happily. “Okay.”
Guillermo glances over at the camera.
“Shut the door, guys. Unless you want your show to be pay-per-view only.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means the Catholic guilt can’t touch me now so I am going to do such unholy things to your body it would get me excommunicated if I wasn’t already an undead aberration.”
“Okay,” Nandor says enthusiastically, and Guillermo drags the cape over them.
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abbysfrenchbraid · 3 years
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Daring - Chapter 3
This is the last chapter for Daring! If you haven't, read part one and two first 💛 This is just a very fluffy chapter with vanilla smut at the end (with love for all of you who got whiplash from my last fic).
CW for alcohol consumption, language, talk of loss/trauma, sex and SPOILER WARNING for Guillermo del Toro's The Shape of Water. I will spoil the ending for the movie here so if you want to watch it first and haven't yet, now's the time! Honestly, it's an amazing movie and I'd love to hear your thoughts on it, so lmk if you have ~thoughts~
Chapter 3 - Home
The days until Thursday went just as excruciatingly slow as the days before your first date had. The only difference was that now you knew what to expect. Or did you? You knew she liked you, too. Wanted you, too. She had told you every night on the phone. Every day after you finished at work you waited patiently for Abby to get off her shift, too. She was on day shifts at the moment, usually from 6 am to 4 pm, but more often than not it took a few hours longer.
Abby was very kind with her patients, often taking people back home from the hospital or helping them get accommodated in their hospital rooms. It cost her a lot of time, but when she told you how grateful they all were you could hear how much she cared.
“I’m telling you Y/N, she actually cried in my arms. This poor old lady, I think she must have been over 80. She could barely raise her arms to put on the gown, the fall had stunned her pretty bad.”
You and Abby were cooking on FaceTime, or rather you were pouring yourself some cereal and Abby was making pasta with fresh tomatoes and herbs. You wished you were there.
“I hope she recovers fast,” you said, pouring in the milk. “It must be awful, being away from home in that state.”
“Yeah,” Abby sighed, “but she luckily didn’t break anything. It’s horrible though, the way elderly people bruise. She is going to have every single step of those stairs visible on her torso for at least a week.”
You took your phone and bowl, using your elbow to open the door to your room. Leah winked at you from the bathroom, toothbrush in her mouth and water dripping from her hair. She was going out with Nora and Jordan, seeing some action movie.
“You’re incredible for taking the time to help her. Did she really have no one else?”
Abby sprinkled some basil into her pasta sauce.
“I don’t think so. She was pretty confused, but she said her daughter lives in New York and she didn’t want me to call her. I’m gonna check on her tomorrow when I have a minute between calls.”
“Oh speaking of…” You leaned back against your headboard and propped up your phone against your thigh, staring into your bowl. “Are we still on tomorrow?”
Abby laughed quietly.
“Baby, I’ve been counting the hours. I can’t wait.” You felt a pull in your stomach at the name. She had never called you baby before. Looking at her, you could see she was trying to hide her nervousness. You smiled at her.
“When can I come over?”
“I hope I get off at 5 and they don’t rope me into an emergency in the last minute of my shift. I’ll just call you as soon as I head out and you can come over straight away. I’ll buy all the groceries we need tonight.”
“Hey, I can -” you protested, but Abby cut you off.
“No, you just grace me with your presence, that’s enough. You don’t know the exact ingredients anyway.”
You smiled and finished your cereal. You couldn’t wait.
-
Abby called you at 6 pm, still sitting in the passenger seat of the ambulance.
“Hey, sorry I didn’t call sooner.” Little strands of hair had fallen out of her braid and framed her face, some of them looking damp with sweat. There was a flush on her face and dark circles loomed under her eyes. You felt just a little bit guilty, having stayed up with her on facetime until after midnight the night before.
“Don’t worry, I’m not the one working extra hours. How was your shift?”
“Honestly? Terrible.” You knew Abby was not one to complain, so that really had to mean something. You saw her sway in the seat as the ambulance pulled into the garage and finally came to a halt. “I’ll tell you about it later, okay? I’ll be home in half an hour, so just come over whenever you want. I’ll leave the front door unlocked in case I’m still in the shower.”
A prickle went over your skin at the thought, but you quickly pushed it away. Abby was obviously exhausted, this was not the time to imagine her and you in a shower.
“Are you sure you really want to cook? We could just order takeout and call it a night.”
Abby considered it for a moment. It had to have been the worst day. She quickly spoke to the person next to her in the driver’s seat, then you heard the car door being shut. Abby looked back at you.
“Abby. Let me take care of you.” Your voice was soft. You wished you could brush the loose strands of hair behind her ear. The blonde sighed and unfastened her seatbelt.
“Just come over, okay? We can decide then. I just want you with me.”
You jumped up and grabbed the bag you had already prepared for sleeping over, a bottle of Merlot on top of your clothes.
“I’m on my way. I can’t wait to see you,” you said as you struggled to put on your shoes with one hand.
“See you soon,” Abby smiled and ended the call.
You called out a goodbye to Leah and she yelled back “Go get her!” Smiling to yourself, you closed the door behind you and rushed to the train station.
Sitting in the uncomfortable plastic seat of the train, you couldn’t help but grow more and more nervous, just like the last time. But this time was different, you reminded yourself. This time you could make your way straight into Abby’s arms, straight to her lips. You secretly checked your breath in your hand. The train arrived both too quickly and not fast enough.
After knocking at the front door twice without any answer, you made your way inside the house. Abby had told you to just come in, but you felt like an intruder nonetheless. Where could you wait without taking up space that wasn’t hers?  You didn’t want to be sitting there like a movie villain when she came down. You called out but there was no answer, only the bass of a rock song playing upstairs and the sound of water rushing through pipes in the wall.
Deciding to make your presence as visible as possible, you dropped your bag on the stairs and took the bottle of the wine to the kitchen. Abby’s heavy paramedic jacket was thrown over a chair and her keys were on the table. An empty glass was standing next to them, water droplets running down on the outside and leaving a wet ring on the wooden surface. You picked it up and placed it in the sink, drying the spot with a tea towel. Then you took out two wine glasses from the cupboard you had put them into after cleaning up the last time and put them on the counter. You leaned against it, wondering what you should do now.
Thankfully, you heard the water shut off upstairs and a few seconds later there was the soft thump of naked heels on tile floor. You decided just to wait until Abby came down. It only took two minutes, then you heard her on the stairs. She slowed when she reached the bottom, probably noticing your bag.
“Y/N?” Her voice was light, but there was excitement in it, carefully restrained.
“I’m in the kitchen!” You suddenly didn’t know what to do with your hands and reached for the bottle, then realized you didn’t have an opener and you probably wouldn’t be able to use one either. You let your arms drop to your side and Abby entered the kitchen, stopping a few steps from you.
She looked beautiful. She was wearing a light grey cutoff shirt and dark navy sweatpants. Her hair was still wet and hung loosely over her shoulders, darkening the cotton where it touched the fabric. Her face was still tired and her shoulders slumped slightly, but her eyes had lit up at the sight of you.
“You’re here!” She held out her hands, still not moving from her spot.
You closed the distance and threw your arms around her, burying your face in her neck.
“I’m here,” you mumbled and Abby’s arms closed around you, encasing you completely. She smelled wonderful, moisture still evaporating from her skin and warmth spreading from her body to yours where you touched. Your excitement didn’t falter, but your nervousness did. A wave of calm came over you. You were here.
“I’m sorry your day was so terrible,” you murmured, lips brushing the skin of Abby’s throat just above the neckline of her shirt. “Wanna spend the rest of it on the couch?”
Her upper body fell forward into you and her forehead came to rest on your shoulder. She nodded and you gave her waist a gentle squeeze before drawing back, resting your foreheads together and cradling her cheek with your hand.
“Come on, then. Let’s order you some food. I brought wine as well if you want some.”
Abby sighed.
“I’d love some.”
You wanted to step aside and take the glasses to the living room but Abby’s arms around you tightened and the corner of her mouth lifted.
“You’re an angel,” she whispered. And then she kissed you.
It was sweet, gentle, and tired, her lips soft and warm. You melted into her, both of you clinging to each other for a moment until Abby pulled away smiling. She took the bottle of wine and rummaged through a drawer for the opener. You held the glasses and watched her open the bottle, brows knit together and her tongue peeking out between her lips. It was both adorable and incredibly hot. You sat down on the large sofa together and Abby poured both of you a generous amount, then you clinked glasses and the blonde stole another kiss.
“Alright,” you unlocked your phone, “what are you craving?”
Abby gave you an amused look before she let her head fall back on the sofa cushion and thought for a second.
“Do you like Mexican food? Burritos?”
“Love it,” you said, searching for the closest restaurant and checking their website for delivery service. Abby just hummed in approval when she saw which one you had picked out. You placed the order together, Abby’s right hand never releasing yours as she clumsily used her left to pick her food. When the order was sent, you threw your phone to the foot of the sofa.
“So,” you said, turning to your side in order to get a better look at the blonde. “Wanna tell me about work?”
Abby sighed and opened her arm for you to crawl into. You gladly scooted closer, resting your head on her shoulder and throwing an arm over her stomach. When she spoke, you could feel the thrum of her voice in her chest.
“I went in early to check on the old lady who fell yesterday and found out she’d fallen again last night. She hadn’t told anyone because she was embarrassed, but I could tell something was wrong. Turns out her arm was broken in three places. I had them call her daughter even though she begged me not to bother her. I don’t know what her daughter is like, but I hope she takes care of her.”
You hummed and pushed yourself even closer to Abby’s side.
“After that, we had a call because of a domestic violence case. The police were there already, it was horrible.”
She rubbed a hand over her face and you pressed a kiss to her collarbone.
“After that, we had to go straight to another family dispute that ended in someone being stabbed with a steak knife. We got them to the hospital fast enough and it all went well in the end but I just hate cases that revolve around psychological trauma as well. All those family issues… I hate it.”
You could only imagine how horrible this must be for her after what had happened to her dad. Though you still didn’t know the whole story and you could probably find out easily by googling her name, you didn’t want to feel like an intruder in her past. She would tell you when she was ready.
“I’m glad you’re telling me about it,” you said, trying to sound firm and gentle at the same time.
Abby let out a little huff that sounded slightly surprised.
“Yeah, I don’t usually do that. Normally I would have just shoved all that into the back of my mind and tried to make this evening go perfect. Not that I don’t want to put in the effort with you-”
“I know,” you interrupted her, raising your head to smile at her, noses brushing against each other. “I think this is perfect. You are.”
You moved in for a kiss and Abby placed a hand on the back of your head, holding you gently as your lips touched. She deepened the kiss soon, breath going a little faster as her arms pulled you even closer. You threw your leg over her thigh, half on top of her now. Her tongue was smooth and hot against yours and when her teeth scraped over your bottom lip, you let out a whimper that she caught in another kiss. Feeling bold, you finally moved on top of Abby, straddling her thigh and placing your hands left and right of her flushed face. You rolled your hips forward and she made a guttural sound, low and hungry.
Her hands were all over you, pressing between your shoulder blades, wrapping around your waist, grabbing your hips to make you grind forward again, then finally cupping your ass and digging her fingers into the muscle. You stopped trying to keep yourself from panting and leaned forward to kiss Abby’s jaw, then the soft spot beneath her earlobe. She drew up her leg behind you, pressing her thigh between your legs, and you whimpered into her ear.
“Abby,” you whispered, “what are you doing to me?”
“Anything you want,” she murmured against your cheek, “anything, baby.”
You could hear your pulse drumming in your ears as you kissed the blonde fiercely, then moved your lips over that chiseled jaw again before biting the delicate skin of her throat. You dragged your tongue over her pulse point, actually feeling the beat of her heart fluttering against your sensitive nerve endings. She smelled intoxicating, warm, and earthy, and it made you want to take her in completely, to drown in her and never come to the surface again.
Her hands were on your hips again, guiding them against hers as she let out another low moan, lips parted and pupils blown as she looked at you with a mixture of amazement and pure, burning desire. You let your hands wander down her torso, trailing your fingers along the hem of her shirt and slipping them underneath. Abby’s skin was radiating heat, her stomach flexing beneath your touch.
“May I?” You asked, your voice breathless. Abby just nodded, lifting her arms over her head and arching her back so you could push the fabric up, revealing her broad frame, toned abs, and a black sports bra. You threw the shirt to the side and fell back onto her, your chests pressing together as you enveloped her in another heated kiss. You ground down against her thigh, the seam of your jeans pressing against all the right places. Abby’s hands were on your back again, broad and warm and reassuring.
You stayed like that for a while, melting into each other, catching the other’s breath, and trying to move in ways that would get the other to moan even though you were both still shy and careful about making noise. Abby twisted her pelvis ever so slightly so you could keep riding her thigh and hit her hipbone at the front of every movement. You responded by pulling her damp hair and making her hiss before she pulled you in and kissed you fiercely.
“God, Abby…” Heat was pooling at the bottom of your stomach and there was a sudden, almost painful sensitivity to your core. Pleasure had sneaked up on you without you noticing, completely surprising you with its intensity as Abby rolled her hips upward and you had no choice but to cry out. There was a hunger in her eyes, a triumphant glint and she held your face gently with one hand while the other was tight around your hip, guiding your movements against her and pressing into your flesh.
“Fuck, Abby, fuck, I’m so -” She swallowed your whimpers with another searing kiss, her tongue pressing into your mouth and her thumb stroking your cheek.
“Come on, baby, you’re so good, so beautiful, baby,” Abby mumbled against your lips, followed by more sweet compliments and hot kisses, her eyes always on yours. You found the perfect angle at last and dug your fingers into her shoulder, your moans going high and fast as you pressed your forehead to hers. She placed a last gentle kiss on your lips and you came undone on top of her. Her hands caught you easily, stroking you through your high, her lips caressing every inch of your face. Her skin was warm beneath you and slightly sweaty. You licked a small stripe up the side of her throat and kissed her jaw.
Abby pulled back just an inch to get a better look at your face, running her hands through your hair and over your cheeks, then down your shoulders and coming to rest around your waist.
“You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever known,” she said quietly and with a blissful smile. “An angel.”
Her gaze was so piercing, so raw and knowing that you suddenly had the urge to bury your face in your hands, to hide from this infinite feeling inside of you that you could see in Abby’s eyes as well. You forced yourself to hold her gaze and reached out to brush a strand of hair from her face.
“I’ve never… this has never happened to me before,” you confessed softly. “You are doing things to me I never even dreamed of.”
Abby chuckled at that and caught your hand, kissing every knuckle and then the inside of your palm.
“We fit well, don’t we?” It was cautious, a step forward with no weight on it yet, a hand on a door handle.
“We do.” You grinned at her, and maybe it was the rush of the high that still hadn’t faded or a rare wave of courage, but you decided to rip open that door from the other side. You sat up and placed a hand on her sternum, feeling her heart thrum beneath your palm.
“Abby, I want to be with you. I’ve wanted to for a long time. You don’t have to have an answer right now, but just know that I’m already yours, no matter what.”
For a moment, Abby didn’t seem to fully comprehend. Then she frowned, the smile not fully leaving her lips but turning bittersweet. You felt your stomach drop. Had you spoken too soon?
“Y/N.” Abby’s hand covered yours on her chest. “I’d love nothing more.” A weight fell off your shoulders. Abby wasn’t done talking yet.
“I’m a difficult person to… be with. I’ve really put in all I had with you so far, but there are times when I will be cold and closed off and I won’t be able to let you in, to let anyone in. I don’t know if I could hurt you like that.” She squeezed your hand now, her eyes glossy. “I’m not saying this because I’m scared or unsure, I’m saying this to give you an out. Or at least some more time to really get to know what it’s like with me in your life. I can be exhausting. At least that’s what I’m told.”
You felt something hot flare up in your throat. That was not fair.
“Who told you that?”
“Owen. I mean, he’s the only person who knows what it’s like being with me and he certainly didn’t like it very much.” Even with her broad shoulders, her set jaw, all her muscles, she looked strangely small now. You felt like you were going to burst with rage.
“Abby, do you honestly think an ex’s opinion of you counts? To me? I don’t give a shit what Owen thinks because I’m not him and this is not the same thing. I get to decide what it’s like and so far it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” You placed both your hands on her cheeks and leaned forward. “Babe, stop trying to deny yourself happiness. You deserve to be happy. And if I make you happy, if you’ll have me, I’m yours.”
Abby sat up straight, her face now directly in front of yours, and wrapped her arms around you tightly. She blinked the tears away, a smile beginning to tug on her lips.
“You’re mine?”
“Only yours.”
She kissed you and you could feel her grin against your mouth, smooth teeth softly clicking against yours.
“Mine,” she mumbled and began trailing kisses down your throat, hands now wandering down your back and under your t-shirt where they immediately provoked goosebumps to spread over your entire body. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Both of you pulled back with surprised faces.
“The food!” you realized and you had to laugh as you scrambled to get up from the couch. You had almost forgotten how hungry you were. Abby quickly pulled on her shirt, grabbed her wallet, and opened the door, hair wild and her lips still red and swollen. You hovered in the background, probably looking just as disheveled, and tried not to giggle like an idiot.
The delivery guy took one look at you and just gave Abby an amused smirk as he handed her the food. She tipped him generously and thanked him before closing the door and turning to you, both of you frozen in your spots for a second. Then you both burst out in laughter. Abby was next to you in three strides and pressed a kiss to the top of your head before you let yourself flop down on the sofa together. Abby had ordered two large burritos, you had chosen a vegetarian taco bowl and a big bag of tortilla chips with salsa and guacamole. While you unpacked all the food and laid it out on the coffee table, Abby turned on the TV and scrolled through the movie options.
After some looking around, you decided to watch The Shape of Water, which you hadn’t seen yet despite being a big Guillermo del Toro fan. You ate in silence, letting the film pull you into a cold war era story of a mute woman, her gay best friend, and a strange fish-human being in the facility she was a cleaner at. You generally avoided watching more artistic, less Hollywood-typical movies with other people in fear of them constantly ridiculing the story to hide their own discomfort with monsters, but Abby was just as immersed in the story as you were. Sally Hawkins was a fantastic actress and the amphibian man was beautifully designed and a fascinating character. Del Toro’s handwriting was all over the film - beautiful colors and cinematography, fairytale monsters next to very human, real-life ones, the fear of the Other and the idea that maybe if one just dares to look beyond, the Other may have a story to tell and love to give.
When you had finished your food, you snuggled up to Abby, occasionally feeding her chips with guacamole and kissing the salt from her lips. During the final scenes when the shooting happened, Abby tensed up next to you. You hadn’t even thought about movies possibly triggering her or making her uncomfortable. Fuck, you should have looked it up beforehand. Now all you could do was press your temple to her collarbone and wrap your arms around her as tightly as possible.
“Do you want to turn it off?” You mumbled, your thumb drawing circles on her ribcage. You could feel Abby shake her head.
“It’s okay, I’m used to it by now. The movie is almost over anyway.” She pressed a kiss to your forehead and pulled you close. The ending was beautiful and heart-wrenching and you shed a few tears, staining Abby’s shirt. She just smiled and kissed the tears from your cheeks.
“Did you like it?” You asked tentatively, not sure if the shooting may have ruined it for Abby.
“I loved it.” Her expression was warm. “That scene in which she talks about the way he sees her without any of her flaws, just her, and how her fight for his life is what makes her human was beautiful.”
“And then in the end she wasn’t human after all,” you added, “I’ve never really seen it that way around. Usually, the beast turns into a prince at the end. I always hate that. Why can’t the monster stay a monster after having proven their love and their honor and whatever else is needed to redeem them, you know?”
Abby thought about that for a moment, her eyes going unfocused.
“That’s true. In so many stories, all the things that make the monster monstrous are stripped away as soon as they have proven their worth and found true love. It doesn’t work like that in real life. We all have things inside that could deem us monsters and it’s only when we hope to have found love that we can dare to reveal them and hope the other person loves us anyway.”
Something warm spread inside you, reaching out to every corner of your body, every toe and every fingertip. You leaned in and kissed her gently.
“The silver plate.”
Abby looked confused for a second, then she remembered the things she had said during your last date.
“Yeah, my own monstrous silver plate.” She smiled. “Scared?”
“Not at all,” you grinned and climbed on top of her. “I’ll devour you.”
You pressed your lips to hers her and it quickly turned into another heated makeout session. Your limbs were tangled together and her hands roamed your body as you kissed her neck and when she finally asked: “can I?” you almost knocked your head against her jaw trying to sit up so she could take off your shirt.
Sitting up on her hips, you dragged your nail from her ear to the hem of her shirt, scratching the skin and making her hiss, eyes burning.
“Want to show me your bedroom?” you asked, trying not to lose your focus at the feeling of her hands wandering up your thighs. You yelped as Abby sat and stood up in one swift motion, arms secure around your waist and thighs so you’d stay pressed to her chest. You wrapped your legs around her and laughed into her mouth before she kissed you again.
The tall blonde carried you up the stairs like it was nothing, making soft noises when you bit into the soft skin just below her jaw.
“Y/N…” She kicked open a door and didn’t give you any time to look around, crawling on the bed and trapping you under her large body, attacking you with kisses, all teeth and tongue. It was glorious.
You pulled on Abby’s shirt until she grunted and took it off herself, then her hands were trailing the skin above the waistband of your jeans. More, more, more.
“Can I take those off?” Abby asked, sitting back on her knees between your legs.
“Please,” you whimpered, lifting your hips for better access, but Abby had other plans. She let her hands wander over your upper body, her fingers teasing your nipples over the thin fabric of your bralette, then softly tickling your stomach on their way down. Finally, she opened the button of your jeans and slowly opened the zipper, her eyes flickering up to your face and back down to her hands.
“Come ooon,” you begged, “please, Abby.”
There was the hint of a smirk on her lips, but she complied and pulled off your jeans, both of you laughing as they caught around your ankles and Abby had to wrestle them off. Then Abby’s hand was on your foot and she held it in place on her shoulder, slowly kissing her way up your leg. Your breath got faster with every inch she came closer to your heated center, that place that had gotten a taste of what was to come and wanted more. She dragged her lips over your clothed core and your legs trembled, a gasp escaping you.
Abby took her time with you, kissing your stomach and chest before taking off your bralette and teasing your nipples with a gentle tongue and fluttering fingers. You were squirming beneath her, a mess of pleasure and want for more, begging her to touch you. Finally, she sat back up and hooked her fingers under the waistband of your panties, keeping eye contact and pulling them down slowly. Her gaze was burning, pupils wide, lips hanging open and breath going in shallow pants.
Her tongue was heaven, it was heat and silk and everything at once, enveloping you in waves of ecstasy and making you moan and bury your hands in her hair. She was gentle, cleaning up the mess you had made earlier and the one just now, broad tongue and small circles sending your hips up to meet her, her fingers around your thighs too far away.
“Abby, please…” you gasped and she looked up to meet your gaze. You melted inside.
“What do you want, baby?” Her voice was deep and husked, lips shining with your juices.
“Your fingers.” You gave her hand a light push downward and with a smile, she complied.
If you had thought you had already reached the pinnacle of pleasure, the best there was, you had been oh so wrong. Abby’s fingers were magical, teasing you and filling you up, stroking against that tender spot inside you, then slowing down as her tongue made you see stars, complying when you begged her for more, faster, harder. Your legs hadn’t stopped shaking in what felt like forever, your fingers were cramped into Abby’s beautiful blonde mane and you were crying out her name over and over again as she brought you to your peak, guiding you through it and moaning along with you as your juices covered her fingers and her tongue.
When she finally crawled back up to meet you, her arms were shaking slightly and her face was flushed. You still felt like you were somewhere far away, but her smile pulled you back to the present. She kissed you, letting you taste yourself on her tongue. Slowly, you let your hand wander down and play with the seam of her sweatpants and the hem of her boxers peeking out underneath.
“Wanna take these off?” you mumbled in her ear and you could see she was trying to keep her composure as she tried to get out of her pants as fast as possible before coming back to you. She stopped and looked unsure suddenly.
“Is it okay if I keep these on for now?” She gestured to her sports bra and underwear.
“Of course, baby. Can I touch you?” You whispered, one hand on the back of her neck as the other wandered lower. Abby nodded and kissed you again.
“Yes, please,” she whispered back. You slid your hand into her boxers and were greeted by wet heat, desire practically pooling in your palm. Both of you gasped at the same time, eyes flying open to meet each other’s, bodies grinding together.
“Fuck baby, you’re so wet,” you cooed and watched Abby dissolve in front of you, blood shooting into her cheeks before she buried her face in your neck and began leaving lovebites on your throat. You dragged your fingers between her folds, relishing in the tiny noises she made whenever you touched her clit or came near her entrance.
You put all your strength into throwing Abby to the side and rolling on top of her, hand never leaving her center. She laughed in surprise and grabbed the back of your neck to pull you in, and at that moment you slid a finger inside her. Her eyes went wide and the noise she made would visit your dreams for the rest of your days. You kept your lips wandering over her throat and back to her lips, pulling moan after moan from her with your fingers, gently pushing inside her and curling upward, your thumb drawing circles on her clit. After a while, you could see her abs flexing as her core convulsed rhythmically, her moans getting higher and breathless, her fingers digging into your waist.
“Will you come for me, Abby?” you whispered and kissed her again. Her hips bucked up into your hand and she made a strangled noise, then her legs clamped together around your fingers and she sighed, tongue darting out to brush against yours as you slowly pulled your hand from her sensitive core.
You threw your thigh over her hips and pressed your face into the crook of her neck, giving her time to breathe as you drew patterns on her bare stomach with your fingers.
“Baby…” she mumbled above you, voice vibrating through her chest. “That was… I don’t even have words.”
You grinned up at her and she brushed your hair behind your ear. Her gaze was full of love and adoration, like sunlight warming your skin, soft fingertips caressing your cheeks.
“I’ve never felt so safe,” you said, resting your head on her shoulder so you could look at her. “You’re so careful.”
Abby smiled and followed the path of your fingers with her eyes.
“I’ve had other experiences in the past that made me realize how important it is to always check on your partner.” She looked down at her clothed hips. “Thank you for… not making this weird. I’m just… one step at a time.”
“Of course, baby.” You moved your lips closer to her ear. “I think it’s really fucking hot, you between my legs in those boxers, all muscles and freckles. But then when I touch you, you’re so needy, just a wet mess, coming on my fingers in your underwear.”
Abby let out a shaky breath, chest trembling at your words. She laced her fingers between yours and pressed them to her sternum.
“You leave me speechless every time,” she said, voice quiet and content.
“I love it.” You pulled the blanket up with your foot and covered both of your bodies up to your hips, yawning into her shoulder. Abby chuckled quietly.
“Do you need to set an alarm for tomorrow?” She reached over to the bedside table, then let her arm drop. “Our phones are still downstairs.”
You groaned and rolled onto your back before blinking up at Abby innocently, hoping she would go and get them. She just laughed and got up, stretching her arms and making the muscles on her back dance beautifully.
“You need to go pee,” she said with raised eyebrows. You sighed and lazily rolled out of bed, pulling the blanket up around you.
Abby showed you the bathroom across the hall and made her way down the stairs, a bounce in her step. You could hear her clean up the takeout containers and throw away the trash in the kitchen. Suddenly there was a noise outside, a deep voice and the jingle of keys at the door. You froze with the towel in your hands. The front door opened and Manny tried to stay quiet in that completely ineffective way most men do, dropping his shoes with loud thumps and whispering into his phone so loudly you could hear every word.
“Hi, Manny,” Abby said in the hallway. Keys dropped to the floor with a clunk.
“Dios mio! What the hell are you doing sneaking around here, Abby? You just get back from the gym?” You could hear her laugh quietly as he tried to catch his breath.
“I could ask you the same. Weren’t you supposed to come back tomorrow?”
You snuck back into her bedroom on tiptoes, wrapping the blanket around you tightly and staying near the door to hear the conversation downstairs.
“Had to go early, my dad had a hot date tonight.” You could actually hear his grin.
“Yeah, well, me too.” Abby’s voice was dry, but you could tell she wasn’t actually annoyed.
“Really? Y/N? How'd it go?” A pause, then another loud whisper - “holy shit, she still here?
“Y/N, Manny’s home!” Abby’s raised voice rang through the house. You grinned. She knew you were listening.
“Hi, Manny!” You looked around for any clothes you could throw on quickly but came up empty. Sighing, you checked your blanket placement and went to the top of the stairs, looking down at Manny and Abby in the entrance hall.
Abby was still just in her sports bra and boxer shorts but didn’t seem to mind at all. Manny wore sweatpants and a green sweater, along with a hat that said women want me, fish fear me. Behind him were two large bags, one of them clearly full of fishing equipment. His smile lit the room.
“Hi Y/N, nice seeing you here. You two have a good night?”
You nodded and he made a knowing ah-ha sound. Abby elbowed him and red spots formed on her neck.
“Well, I’m gonna eat something and pass out. Breakfast tomorrow?” He threw a hopeful look in Abby’s direction. “When does your shift start?”
“Noon, I get late shift for the next two weeks. Y/N, what about you?” Both of them looked up at you and you shifted your weight, very aware of the way you looked right now.
“I just need to study, I can sleep in for once.”
Abby nodded and patted Manny’s shoulder.
“Breakfast at 10.”
She came up the stairs, taking two steps at a time and grinning from ear to ear. Manny vanished into the kitchen, continuing to scream-whisper into his phone. You made out the words “finally… girl is here” before Abby simply picked you up and carried you back to bed, kicking the door closed behind her.
You snuggled up together and Abby stroked your hair while she told you about her friendship with Manny and how glad she was to have him. He had been there for her through everything and he had wanted her to make a move and ask you out for weeks. You felt yourself drift away slowly.
“I’m so glad I’m here,” you mumbled, hand stroking Abby’s chest.
“Me too, baby. I still can’t believe I get to call you mine.” The bliss in her voice was the same you felt in your heart.
“Finally.” You craned your neck for a last kiss and melted beneath Abby’s soft lips and warm hands.
She held you wrapped tightly in her arms, almost as if she was scared you could vanish in the night. As if you'd ever leave her now. The last thing you thought before falling asleep was that you were finally home.
-
Author's note: Have you seen The Shape of Water? Did you like it? Let me know here 💌 If you'd like to support me, you can buy me a coffee here 🤎
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crimeculturepodcast · 3 years
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Hispanic/Latino horror movies
In honor of Hispanic Heritage month, this week we talked about horror movies out of Latin American and Spanish speaking countries. There were some we couldn’t get to so here is the full list:
Spain
The Devil’s Backbone (2001)
Rotten Tomatoes: 92%
Audience Score: 89%
Google Score: 85%
IMDb: 7.4/10
Critics Consensus: Creepily atmospheric and haunting, The Devil's Backbone is both a potent ghost story and an intelligent political allegory.
Description: “Set during the last years of the Spanish Civil War, The Devil's Backbone is a Spanish gothic horror movie that follows Carlos, a young orphan boy who is deposited at Santa Lucia School among several other children who have been displaced by the conflict. Though he finds friends in the professor and the head mistress, he is plagued by a wandering spirit with a link to the violent caretaker's secret past.”
Trivia: The movie, which he wrote in college and was in development for 16 years, is strongly inspired by Del Toro’s personal memories, especially his relationship with his uncle, who supposedly came back as a ghost. It is also included among the "1,001 Movies You Must See Before You Die" edited by Steven Schneider. Although filmmaker Guillermo del Toro is Mexican, this film is set in the Spanish countryside (largely filmed in Madrid) that’s why it’s on the Spanish list. The Devil’s Backbone has all of the impactful elements of spirituality, horror, and the supernatural that come up again and again in Del Toro’s work. This film has been referred to as the “brother film” of one of Del Toro’s best known works, Pan’s Labyrinth. 
[REC] (2007)
Rotten Tomatoes: 89%
Audience Score: 82%
Google Score: 85%
IMDb: 7.4/10
Critics Consensus: Plunging viewers into the nightmarish hellscape of an apartment complex under siege, [Rec] proves that found footage can still be used as an effective delivery mechanism for sparse, economic horror.
Description: “Late-night TV host Angela and her cinematographer are following the fire service on a call to an apartment building, but the Spanish police seal off the building after an old woman is infected by a virus which gives her inhuman strength.”
Trivia: The movie was filmed chronologically in real locations (no sets were built for the movie). The actor’s were never given the script in its entirety and didn’t know what was going to happen to their characters until the day of filming. The movie is also a big inspiration for the horror survival game Outlast.
Considered The Blair Witch Project of zombie movies, REC had a lot of competition in the found footage style (it came out the same year as George Romero’s Diary of the Dead and the first Paranormal Activity movie). It more than holds its own among them, so much so that an American remake called Quarantine came out the next year. Director Jaume Balagueró keeps the movie disturbingly real and doesn’t fall prey to jump scare after jump scare.
Veronica (2017)
Rotten Tomatoes: 88%
Audience Score: 49%
Google Score: 80%
IMDb: 6.2/10
Critics Consensus: A scarily effective horror outing, Veronica proves it doesn't take fancy or exotic ingredients to craft skin-crawling genre thrills. 
Description: “During a solar eclipse, a teenage girl and her friends want to summon the spirit of the girl's father using an Ouija board. However, during the session she loses consciousness and soon it becomes clear that evil demons have arrived.”
Trivia: Based on the true story of 18-year-old Estefanía Gutiérrez Lázaro. I won’t go too far into it because we may do an episode on it in the future but if you want spoilers, watch the movie (if you dare).
Directed by Paco Plaza (same as REC), the possession theme is done over and over again in horror but this movie is a terrifying and fresh take. 
The Bar (2017)
Rotten Tomatoes: 88%
Audience Score: 55%
Google Score: 75%
IMDb: 6.3/10
Description: “In bustling downtown Madrid, a loud gunshot and two mysterious deaths trap a motley assortment of common urbanites in a decrepit central bar, while paranoia and suspicion force the terrified regulars to turn on each other.”
Directed by Álex de la Iglesia, it’s labeled as a horror-comedy. You can watch it on Netflix.
Who Can Kill A Child? (1976) - Tells the story of a happy couple, two English tourists who decide to vacation on a secluded island in the Mediterranean. There they discover – almost too late- that the island has been taken over by a group of murderous children.
The Baby’s Room (2006) - Featured on Six Films to Keep You Awake at Night. A new family renovates and moves into a grand old house. Nervous first-time mom installs a baby monitor but hears mysterious sounds on the other side. Once they install a high-tech video baby monitor, what they see chills them to the bone.
Sleep Tight (2011) - Apartment concierge Cesar is a miserable person who believes he was born without the ability to be happy. His self-appointed task is to make life hell for everyone around him, a mission in which he has great success. It has big home invasion/stalker vibes. 
Timecrimes (2007) - A man accidentally gets into a time machine and travels back in time nearly an hour. Finding himself will be the first of a series of disasters of unforeseeable consequences. It sounds like a “Happy Death Day” type of plot (but proceeding it by a decade).
Thesis (1996) - Angela is doing her thesis on the effect of violence in the media when she discovers a snuff film. This discovery leads her down a dark path where she must confront her greatest fears and question everybody around her.
Witching and Bitching (2013) - One article I read said it perfectly, “What Shaun of the Dead did for zombies and What We Do in the Shadows did for vampires, Witching & Bitching essentially did for the cinematic depiction of witches, albeit on a less visible scale.” Great pick if you’re looking for something a bit more lighthearted.
Mexico
Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)
Rotten Tomatoes: 95%
Audience Score: 91%
Google Score: 90%
IMDb: 8.2/10
Critics Consensus: Pan's Labyrinth is Alice in Wonderland for grown-ups, with the horrors of both reality and fantasy blended together into an extraordinary, spellbinding fable. 
Description: After the Allies invade Nazi-occupied Europe, a sadistic captain sends a troop of Spanish soldiers to flush out rebels,bringing his new wife and her daughter along on his exploits. While his family resides in the countryside, he leads his men on a murderous rampage, much of which is witnessed by his step daughter. In an effort to escape her reality she plunges into Pan's Labyrinth, a mystical world at the border of her own.
Trivia: Guillermo del Toro is famous for compiling books full of notes and drawings about his ideas before turning them into films, something he regards as essential to the process. He left years worth of notes for this film in the back of a cab, and when he discovered them missing, he thought it was the end of the project. However, the cab driver found them and, realizing their importance, tracked him down and returned them at great personal difficulty and expense. Del Toro was convinced that this was a blessing and it made him ever more determined to complete the film. Del Toro also repeatedly refused offers from Hollywood producers, in spite of being offered double the budget, provided the film was made in English. He didn't want any compromise in the storyline to suit the "market needs" (he even did the English subtitles himself). The film received 22 minutes of applause at the Cannes Film Festival and in 2007, it became one of the few fantasy films ever nominated in the Best Foreign Language Film category at the Oscars. It’s another on the list "1,001 Movies You Must See Before You Die" edited by Steven Schneider with The Devil’s Backbone. It was on more than 130 top 10 lists in 2006. It is also the 5th highest grossing foreign language film in the US.
The Similars (2016)
Rotten Tomatoes: 95%
Audience Score: 49%
Google Score: 75%
IMDb: 5.9/10
Critics Consensus: A smart homage to genre filmmaking, The Similars is a fun and frightening film that balances socio-political issues with aplomb.
Description: A monstrous, once-in-a-lifetime thunderstorm strands passengers in a remote bus station outside Mexico City in 1968. As they listen to the radio, they realized that the storm has spread all over the world. As they look at each other, they also realize that everyone’s faces are slowly changing, and not for the better. 
Trivia: The film used make-up and special effects techniques never before done in Mexico. Director Isaac Ezban was influenced by B-movies of the 50s and 60s as well as TV shows and movies like “The Twilight Zone”, “The Thing”, and “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”.
We Are What We Are (2010)
Rotten Tomatoes: 72%
Audience Score: 48%
Google Score: 77%
IMDb: 5.7/10
Critics Consensus: We Are What We Are is elevated horror that combines family drama and social politics, with plenty of gore on top.
Description: After a family patriarch dies, his survivors are tasked with continuing the rigid family rituals that involve hunting meat, preparing it for consumption, and eating it. The “meat” in question is human flesh, since they’re a family of cannibals. With two detectives hot on their tail, the family of cannibals strains to maintain their family traditions in a modern urban environment.
There was an English language remake in 2013 (86% on Rotten Tomatoes) with Wyatt Russell and Odeya Rush (Lady Bird, Dumplin’, and Goosebumps)
We Are The Flesh (2016) - A joint French-Mexican production released in Spanish as Somos la carne, this post-apocalyptic nightmare involves a brother and sister who roam the land desperately seeking food until a kindly old man takes them in under the condition that they help him renovate an abandoned building. Oh, and they also have to have sex with one another while he watches. And after he breaks their will by getting them to do that, he makes them do all sorts of other things. This film was one of only four in Mexico to receive a “D” rating—which is reserved for subject matter that is considered extremely disturbing and/or pornographic.
The Witch’s Mirror (1962) - An abusive and cheating husband kills his wife so that he can be with his mistress. The woman’s godmother was a witch who originally tried casting a spell on a mirror to protect her from domestic violence, but the spell failed. Still, she is able to bring the woman back from the grave, and the two witches set out to destroy the evil woman-beater.
Here Comes The Devil (2012) - A married couple lose their children while on a family trip near some caves in Tijuana. The kids eventually reappear without explanation, but it becomes clear that they are not who they used to be, that something terrifying has changed them.
Chile
Downhill (2016)
Rotten Tomatoes: 60%
Audience Score: 22%
Google Score: 43%
IMDb: 3.5/10
Description: Deeply upset by the passing of his best friend, a professional BMX rider accepts to partake in a race in Chile. Everything goes as planned until he stumbles upon a man who is infected by a mysterious virus and becomes the target of local assassins.
Trivia: Filmed in 13 days
Post Mortem (2010)
Rotten Tomatoes: 88%
Audience Score: 61%
Google Score: 70%
IMDb: 6.5/10
Description: In Chile, 1973, during the last days of Salvador Allende’s presidency, an employee at a Morgue’s recording office falls for a burlesque dancer who mysteriously disappears.
Aftershock (2012)
Rotten Tomatoes: 39%
Audience Score: 24%
Google Score: 61%
IMDb: 4.8/10
Critics Consensus: Aftershock hints at an inventive twist on horror tropes, but ultimately settles for another round of mind-numbing depravity that may alternately bore and revolt all but the most ardent gore enthusiasts.
Description: In Chile, a group of travelers who are in an underground nightclub when a massive earthquake hits quickly learn that reaching the surface is just the beginning of their nightmare.
Trivia: Horror icon Eli Roth wrote and stars in this film.
To Kill A Man (2014) - An attack on his daughter leads a mild-mannered family man to take revenge on the vicious street thugs who have tormented him and his family for a long time.
Columbia
Out Of The Dark (2014) This is in English
Rotten Tomatoes: 24%
Audience Score: 22%
Google Score: 77%
IMDb: 4.8/10
Description: A family moves to Colombia to take over the operation of a manufacturing plant, soon they learn their new home is haunted.
Trivia: Starring Julia Stiles (10 Things I Hate About You, Dexter) and Scott Speedman (The Strangers, You) 
The Squad (2011)
Audience Score: 53%
Google Score: 82%
IMDb: 5.3/10
Description: After a secret military base ceases all communications, an anti-guerrilla commando unit is sent to the mountainous location to discover what exactly happened. The squad expects to discover that the base was attacked and taken over by guerrilla units, but instead find only a lone woman wrapped in chains.
Trivia: In one scene where the actors are shooting guns, one actor accidentally picked up a real gun instead of the prop and fired a real shot (no one was hurt).
Cord (2015) - On a post-apocalyptic world of never-ending winter, a sparse cast of outsiders live underground. Due to their unsanitary conditions, sexual contact has become dangerous. Masturbation has become the paradigm of sexual experience and an array of low-tech devices with this purpose has come into existence. In this bleak reality, a dealer of such machines a sex addict make a deal: she will allow him to experiment new devices on her body in exchange of pleasure. Soon however, their relationship goes out of control.
The Hidden Face (2011)
Rotten Tomatoes: 80%
Audience Score: 72%
Google Score: 86%
IMDb: 7.4/10
Description: Shattered by the unexpected news of their irreversible break-up, an aspiring orchestra conductor is puzzled by his girlfriend's mysterious and seemingly inexplicable case of disappearance. But, can he look beyond the facts?
Trivia: There is a Turkish version of this movie and a 2013 remake out of India called “Murder 3”
At The End Of The Spectra (2006)
Google Score: 83%
IMDb: 6/10
Description: A young woman who has become agoraphobic due to a traumatic incident is holed up in her apartment, she begins to suffer from hallucinations, paranoia and an obsessive neighbour.
Trivia: There is a Mexican remake called “Devil Inside” and there were once rumors of an American remake starring Nicole Kidman but that’s the end of that.
Uruguay
The Silent House (La Casa Muda) (2010) 
Rotten Tomatoes: 68%
Audience Score: 37%
Google Score: 63%
IMDb: 5.4/10
Critics Consensus: Shot in a single take, The Silent House may be a gimmick movie, but it's one that's enough to sustain dread and tension throughout. 
Description: A girl becomes trapped inside a house and becomes unable to contact the outside world as supernatural forces haunt it.
Trivia: The plot is supposedly based on a true story that occurred in the 1940s in a small village in Uruguay. With a budget of just six thousand dollars, it was filmed using a handheld high-definition digital single-lens reflex camera (the Canon EOS 5D Mark II), 2 handheld lamps, and a couple of lightbulbs over a time period of just four days. The claim that the movie was filmed in one continuous take are suspect. The Mark II camera can only record up to 15 minutes of continuous video at a time. Uruguay's official submission to the Best Foreign Language Film category of the 84th Academy Awards 2012.
Monos (2019)
Rotten Tomatoes: 92% 
Audience Score: 85%
Google Score: 69%
IMDb: 6.9/10
Critics Consensus: As visually splendid as it is thought-provoking, Monos takes an unsettling look at human nature whose grim insights leave a lingering impact.
Description: On a faraway mountaintop, eight teenaged guerillas with guns watch over a hostage and a conscripted milk cow. Playing games and initiating cult-like rituals, the children run amok in the jungle and disaster strikes when the hostage tries to escape.
Trivia: Moises Arias (Hannah Montana) and Julianne Nicholson (I, Tonya, August: Osage County) most of the other actors had never acted before. The movie draws inspiration from Lord of the Flies. Included among the "1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die", edited by Steven Schneider. It was selected as the official Colombian entry for the Best International Feature Film at the 92nd Academy Awards.
Peru
The Entity (2015)
Google Score: 66%
IMDb: 4.3/10
Description: A group of students decide to study 'reaction videos' and are led toward an old film, hidden in the archive room of a cemetery. It appears that everybody who has witnessed the film has met an untimely demise under suspicious circumstances. When the students view the footage, they discover first hand, what the demonic spirit is capable of. Fulfilling the ancient curse of a woman cruelly killed during the Spanish Inquisition.
Trivia: The Entity has been billed as Peru's first 3D horror film and to have been loosely based on true stories. Review websites Flickering Myth and Nerdly commented that the movie suffered from being too overly familiar to pre-existing works (Blair Witch, The Ring).
The Vanished Elephant (2014)
Rotten Tomatoes: 89%
Audience Score: 72%
Google Score: 88%
IMDb: 6.5/10
Description: Crime novelist Edo remains obsessed with what happened to his fiancee Celia after she disappeared during an earthquake. When an enigmatic woman brings him photos that may help him solve the mystery, he senses he is being drawn into a dangerous game.
The Secret Of Evil (2014)
Google Score: 65%
IMDb: 5/10
Description: Video footage depicting a supernatural encounter is all that remains of a filmmaker and his crew who disappeared while exploring a haunted house.
When Two Worlds Collide (2016)
Rotten Tomatoes: 91%
Audience Score: 69%
Google Score: 93%
IMDb: 7.6/10
Description: An indigenous environmental activist takes on the large businesses that are destroying the Amazon.
El Vientre (2014)
Google Score: 81%
IMDb: 6.1/10
Description: Silvia, a beautiful 45-year-old widow, is obsessed with having a child and finds in attractive but naive Mercedes the perfect candidate to bear it. Silvia kindly offers her a job and a room in her house, and then manipulates her into seducing a young man named Jaime. They soon fall in love and Mercedes becomes pregnant. Silvia will do anything in her power to keep the baby, even if it means leaving a couple of bodies behind.
Argentina
Terrified (2018)
Rotten Tomatoes: 77% 
Audience Score: 65%
Google Score: 82%
IMDb: 6.5/10
Description: Paranormal researchers investigate strange events in a neighbourhood in Buenos Aires.
Luciferina (2018)
Rotten Tomatoes: 83%
Audience Score: 25%
Google Score: 69%
IMDb: 4.6/10
Description: Natalia is a nineteen-year-old novice who reluctantly returns home to say goodbye to her dying father. However, when she meets up with her sister and her friends, she decides instead to travel the jungle in search of mystical plant.
Francesca (2015)
Audience Score: 67%
Google Score: 73%
IMDb: 5.3/10
Description: Two detectives track a serial killer who has been targeting the impure. To catch him, they'll have to solve the case of a girl who went missing 15 years ago.
Cold Sweat (2010)
Rotten Tomatoes: 75%
Audience Score: 
Google Score: 58%
IMDb: 4.8/10
Description: The movie follows Román, who stumbles upon his ex-girlfriend Jackie, who has somehow gotten caught up in a torture cult run by two sadistic, old men. The aging political radicals have managed to put Jackie’s life in incredible danger. But when Román and his friend try to help Jackie out of her confines, the elderly psychos prove to be more than meets the eye.
Penumbra (2011)
Rotten Tomatoes: 50%
Audience Score: 26%
Google Score: 75%
IMDb: 5.5/10
Description: A woman desperate to find a tenant for her decrepit apartment apparently finds the perfect candidate, unaware of a sinister plot involving an imminent eclipse.
Venezuela
The House At The End of Time (2013)
Rotten Tomatoes: None 
Audience Score: 72%
Google Score: 91%
IMDb: 6.8/10
Description: Dulce encounters apparitions in her house and unleashes a terrible prophecy. Thirty years later, Dulce, now an old woman, returns to unravel the mystery that has terrorized her for years.
Trivia: Winner of the Audience Award at Gävle Horror Film Festival 2016 (Sweden). Not only is it Venezuela’s highest-grossing horror film, it’s also the most distributed film from the country. By August 2016 it was announced that the American studio New Line Cinema acquired the rights of the film to make a remake for the American public. Hidalgo is still at the wheel so its chances of success are high.
Ecuador
Cronicas (2004)
Rotten Tomatoes: 71%
Audience Score: 77%
Google Score: 80%
IMDb: 6.9/10
Critics Consensus: An unsettling and absorbing cautionary tale with John Leguizamo playing an unscrupulous TV reporter who uses the medium to further his own goals.
Description: Reporter Manolo Bonilla (John Leguizamo) goes to a jail in Ecuador to interview Vinicio Cepeda (Damián Alcázar, Narcos, Narnia), a hit-and-run driver whose crime incited a riot. After Cepeda tells him he knows where a murderer called the Monster of Babahoyo buried a young female victim, Bonilla posts bail in the hopes that he'll learn more about the crime. Bonilla finds the girl's body, but, as he nears the scoop of his career, it looks as if Cepeda might be withholding some key details.
Trivia: Inspired by a true story? As well as being both a Cannes and TIFF favourite, Cronicas is the official submission of Ecuador for the 'Best Foreign Language Film' category of the 77th Academy Awards in 2005, it was produced by Guillermo del Toro and Alfonso Cuarón (Children of Men, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban) This is John Leguizamo’s first film in Spanish. He said he felt awkward talking in Spanish while acting, like he didn't know the language. 
English Language Horror
The Silent House (2011) This is in English
Rotten Tomatoes: 43%
Audience Score: 
Google Score: 72%
IMDb: 5.3/10
Critics Consensus: Silent House is more technically proficient and ambitious than most fright-fests, but it also suffers from a disappointing payoff.
Description: Sarah is working with her father and uncle to renovate an old family home to prepare it for sale. Long vacant, the house has no utilities, forcing the trio to rely on battery-operated lanterns to light their way. Sarah becomes separated from her relatives and soon finds she is trapped inside the cabin, with no contact with the outside world. Panic turns to real terror as the young woman experiences events that become increasingly ominous.
Trivia: Elizabeth Olsen (Wandavision) The plot is based on a true story that occurred in the 1940s in a small village in Uruguay. Contrary to the marketing's claim that the film was shot in one uninterrupted take, the entire movie was actually shot to mimic one continuous real-time take, with no cuts from start to finish, as a result the time span of the film's plot is exactly 86 minutes. It was shot in roughly 10 minute segments then carefully edited to hide the cuts.
Night of the Living Dead (1968) - This along with the rest of the Dead series are the work of George A. Romero, whose father is from Cuba.
Ash vs. Evil Dead - I love the Evil Dead movies and although this series wasn’t perfect (I’m sure die-hard fans will say it's far from it), I still think it kept to the heart of the main story. Bruce Campbell is obviously perfect and the addition of Lucy Lawless is amazing, it’s really Puerto Rican actor Ray Santiago that steals the show.
The Others (2001) - Directed by globally renowned Spanish director Alejandro Amenábar, The Others starring Nicole Kidman is a Spanish gothic horror movie that combines elements of the supernatural, psychological, and mystical. It focuses on the strange events that occur at the estate of a woman and her young children, plagued by spirits in the aftermath of WWII. It has the distinction of being the only English-language Spanish movie to be given the Best Film Award at Spain's national film awards, the Goyas. In total, the movie has seven Goya Awards, including for Best Director. Although it might not read as particularly “Spanish,” it was produced, written and filmed all in Spain, shooting in Cantabria, Northern Spain and Madrid.
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flying-elliska · 3 years
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i rewatched the Pirates of the Carribean movies as a comfort thing for the first time in a veeery long time. the first aged pretty well (bar some moments of uncomfortable humor) and is still a solid, fun adventure movie. i watched it so many times as a kid, i could almost remember the lines before they said them.
the two others...well. objectively, they're a mess. a very interesting one, though, but frustrating, because i actually really like the character arcs and plot ideas. it's everything else around it that is just....why.
the first issue is the length ; they're massively bloated at almost 3hrs each and much of that is padding that doesn't contribute much beyond the fact that some marketing exec must have said 'people liked that in the first so let's give them more' at some point. But in the stupidest way possible. So they've moved from the staged and slightly improbable but very fun and mostly grounded fight and action sequences of the first one, to CGI-soup that constantly bends the rules of physics and ends up coming off as video-game-y and ugly to look at and just...Boring (very much like in the Hobbit movies). there is also just...Too much of Jack Sparrow's shtick. He was fun and fresh in the first one but in the sequels it just comes off as lame and tiresome, I found him a lot less entertaining than I remember. I find him most interesting when he supports the other characters' growth.
Then there is all the racist stereotypes and sexist, vulgar humor that has just aged like milk and made me go wow i didn't remember it was this bad, especially Elizabeth being constantly objectified by semi-sympathetic characters and it being supposed to be funny ?? i know they're pirates and everything but it's the cheeky tone that's just gross. the whole cannibal tribe sequence though, beyond the fact that it's completely irrelevant plot wise, is just as bad as I remembered, and...like i know there is still a lot of problems but i am also kind of glad to feel like the 00s are a bygone era. somewhat. please. let it be bygones. Also the plot is so confusing at times esp in the third, where half the time I couldn't tell who is on whose side and side crossing who and why.
it's frustrating though because it feels like two awesome movies hidden inside two shitty blockbusters. i like that they went a lot weirder and more fantastical with the mystique of the sea ; there are some really fascinating visuals there - like a boat navigating an ocean reflecting the stars, the boat turning upside down to exit the land of the dead, the land of the dead itself with all the spirits sitting in boats with lanterns, the last green ray of sunshine (it's a story i actually grew up with irl!!!), Davy Jones playing the pipe organ while the kraken attacks (honestly pipe organ sounds and the kraken are just...a galaxy brain match, because they're both kind of solemn and terrifying and mourning and powerful and undeniable and horrifyingly beautiful and majestic like the sea, it's just perfect), Davy Jones' heart in a box...in an alternate reality this could have been just such a fascinating, poetic, dark nautical monster story, but I guess Guillermo del Toro can't do everything (sigh). Also the actor playing Barbossa is clearly having the time of his life and it's so much fun to watch.
And I just love the whole character dynamic between Will and Elizabeth, both their fathers, Norrington, Davy Jones and Calypso, there are so many juicy themes there !!!!! it's like loyalty and duty and revenge and longing and betrayal and making your own path in the world !!!!! hello !!!! Will and Elizabeth were my first OTP (and definitely part of my bi awakening lmao), I used to be embarassed by it because romance is for silly girls or whatever but I'm cured now and I still think they're amazing. They start out as so smitten for each other but they both have this arc of growing independently of each other, they disagree and there's miscommunication but they still just admire how badass the other has become and !!! their ending is the sort of wonderfully bittersweet that has my Romantic heart all aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. plus the scene where they get married right in the middle of the final battle on the edge of a whirlpool still makes me so happy.
i'm pretty sure whoever loved these movies as a kid has a much higher chance than average to a) have turned out bisexual and b) be a Black Sails fan now like it was a gateway drug to the whole pirates are freedom and the British Empire is evil thing
also I heard that Margot Robbie is in talks to replace Johnny Depp as the head of the franchise and with an LGBT aspect to it so you know what. you have my attention. as long as they keep the stupid CGI and clichés bullshit out. can we please learn from the mistakes of the past.
but yeah these movies will always have a special spot in my heart bc I think nothing before or since quite captured how scary and fascinating the sea is like this
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kathaariawrites · 4 years
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Nights in Cádiz - Armando Salazar x Reader (Chapter 1)
Hi my lovelies! This was supposed to be an oneshot for my beloved Capitán but I have so many ideas that I can’t so it’ll be divided into chapters. I actually dreamt with this story and had to write it. Armando may seem sweet here but don’t be fooled. Will be uploaded to AO3 as soon as possible with my other works, I'll publish the link here. Spanish to English translations at the end of the chapter.
Things to note:
This is an AU where the crew was freed from the curse, Jack Sparrow and basically everyone in Barbossa’s ship were killed by them and they went back to Spain. Pirates of the Caribbean (this movie at least) has a very confusing universe and I don’t think the timelines fit so I took some liberties with that. They were not gone for too long (25 years in my head though it felt longer for the crew while cursed).
For historic accuracy (someone has to care about that, right Disney?) I gave the reader a Spanish family name and set names for her parents.
Although I speak Spanish, it’s not my first language so I’m here begging for forgiveness for any mistakes and also begging for corrections if that’s the case.
Enjoy!
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Life in Cádiz was monotonous to say the least. The city was not big and most of the life in it revolved in the Armada: if you did not work there, you probably knew someone who did, a friend or a family member. In your case it was your dad, Almirante Caballero. Your relationship with him was good. He was a honorable man, with a stable income that was more than enough to provide for his family and keep a big house. You had no complaints even with the long periods of absence in you childhood, a part of you knew it was part of the job.
Recently though, the whole Armada seemed restless and the rumours were endless. The crew of La Maria Silenciosa was back from the dead, freed from a supposed curse that seemed too fantastic to be real even to you and coming back to Spain after years of being declared dead to the world. You remember clearly as a child how the widows wept, the families broken as they received the news, the ship being late to their return, no communication from the captain and pirate activity on the rise again, the rumours reaching the Spanish shores in no time. The crew had passed, the ship was destroyed and the pirate named Jack Sparrow was to blame.
The captain and the lieutenant were your dad’s closest friends and the loss of such an esteemed member of his life destroyed a part of him you thought you would never see again. The friendly, warm shimmer in his eyes was gone since then and your mother begged him to leave the Armada, that they could survive somewhere else and do something else but he refused every time; Armando Salazar had renewed his will to get rid of the pirates, a goal they shared, and to protect his country. Now, with his return, your father seemed eager to receive him, to have him back to his house, show what had happened in these years.
That’s why today, standing in a beautiful blue dress the same shade of the sea that bathed Cádiz, you stood beside your father in front of the docks to greet them, eyes trained on its sails. How was it possible for the ship to be back in shape, like nothing happened to it? You don’t remember the captain or teniente Lesaro but you were just as nervous. Would they look like what the rumours said? Would they be aggressive, rude? So immersed and nervous you were that you did not notice the ship anchoring, the officers leaving and the families hugging and crying in celebration to have their loved ones back until your father’s strong voice shouted.
“¡Armando! ¡Guillermo!”
His voice sounded strained and you looked at your parents for the first time since arriving. Your mother had tears in her eyes, a hand covering her mouth and your dad did not look much better. He almost ran to the officers and embraced them, as did your mother, though the captain and the lieutenant were not in your line of sight for you to evaluate their reactions. That did not stop you from seeing their arms embracing your father too and the sobs that left his chest made your eyes go wide.
You stood there, uncomfortable, until your father walked with all three in your direction.
“I trust you remember mi hija, ¿[Y/N]?”, your father asked and you gave them a little curtsy. The eyes of the captain were trained on you the whole time, the weight of it was borderline oppressive. Lesaro smiled at you and nodded, taking your hand and planting a soft kiss to the back of it. The captain did the same, his eyes still piercing yours and bringing a soft blush to your cheeks.
“I certainly do, Hugo, though she was much smaller when we left these shores.”, Lesaro added with a smile. “A lot of time has passed, ¿eh?”
Your father agreed, “Sí, mucho tiempo. We have a lot to talk, Guillermo, over a glass of wine. I trust you and Armando have decided on staying with us for the time being?”
“Sí, I don’t believe we have other option and I look forward to having a real meal, fresh and delicious. Is Lucia still working for you?”, the captain replied and you started walking to your house together, your father giving them a briefing of life and happenings in Cádiz and the Armada while they were gone. Every now and then the captain’s gaze layed on you and you wanted to hide, the walk seemed endless.
In the house, the afternoon passed calmly and quickly. You didn’t see them the entirety of it, both men staying in the guest rooms to rest and get some energy back after the weight of the journey and their final battle. You walked through the gardens until a maid called you in for dinner.
Your father was happy and it showed in his face and actions. The capitán and the teniente seemed equally happy to be around the living and eating a well made, hot meal. After you were finished you stood up and excused yourself, resuming your walk in the garden with a book in your hands until you heard steps from behind.
“You are not very talkative, señorita. ¿Te ha comido la lengua el gato?”
You turned around, your eyes finding his on instinct. “Soy perfectamente capaz de hablar, capitán. I am merely giving you the opportunity to talk to my father, your absence had a great impact on him.”
His eyes softened at that and he hummed gently, stepping closer to you. “Lo siento, señorita. I am afraid my time away from the living has taken some of my social skills.” He offered you his arm as an apology, to which you promptly took and resumed your walk.
“Do not fret over that, capitán, it is understandable. But does it not make you uncomfortable to speak about it? The curse, these years? You seem so at ease.”
He chuckled then, his free hand resting on top of yours on his elbow and his fingers flexed, as if appreciating the warmth of the touch. “It is...a numb feeling, I admit. I used to think I would not wish to talk about it if we were ever set free but now I find it does not bring me any feeling. Besides, I presume there will be a lot of explanations to give to the Armada, so my talking is not over.”
You smiled and nodded in sympathy, “You have quite a tale to tell, capitán. All of you do. And it could be quite hard to tell it, some might be disbelieving but you have friends in this house, I am sure you will be back on the sea in no time.”
“I do not think of sailing again, señorita. I’m afraid my time in a ship is over.”
Her eyebrows raised, “You will not? The Armada has relieved you of duty?”
“You’re an inquisitive one, señorita.”, he chuckled again. “I believe this information is classified and therefore not for a civilian’s ears.” Another chuckle at your indignant huff and then silence for the rest of your walk. He took you back inside, leaving you by the doors of your room and leaving with a kiss to the back of your hand once more.
“Buenas noches, señorita.”
“Buenas noches, capitán.”
“Llámame por mi nombre, señorita. Armando.”
“Entonces te digo lo mismo, Armando. Llámame por mi nombre. [Y/N].”
“Pues. Buenas noches, [Y/N].”
“Buenas noches, Armando.”
Spanish translations:
Armada = how the Spanish navy is called
Almirante = Admiral
La Maria Silenciosa = The Silent Mary
Mi hija = My daughter
Sí, mucho tiempo = Yes, a long time
Señorita = miss
¿Te ha comido la lengua el gato? = Cat got your tongue?
Soy perfectamente capaz de hablar, capitán = I’m perfectly capable of speaking, captain
Buenas noches, señorita = Goodnight, miss.
Buenas noches, capitán = Goodnight, captain.
Llámame por mi nombre, señorita. Armando = Call me by my name, miss. Armando.
Entonces te digo lo mismo, Armando. Llámame por mi nombre = Then I tell you the same, Armando. Call me by my name
Pues buenas noches = Then goodnight
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rainbowstrashpile · 2 years
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It’s a Terrible Habit ch. 4 preview
Technically finished but still rough draft of chapter 4 of my fic. Nandor finally learns the name of guy he brought home from “Nanpera” and slowly but also very quickly develops some feeling for (his very warped view of) Guillermo. Warnings for canon typical gore and blood drinking. Nandor has some horny creep feelings about Guillermo that are described but not acted on. If you’re sensitive to that maybe skip it. But I assure you any actual smut in future chapters will be 100% consensual.
He flits around Nandor like a bumblebee, all fuzzy and round and stripey in his little sweaters. His beating heart like the low thumb of wings. Somehow, it becomes common to lift Guillermo to clean high places. He is so short and fragile and it's not his fault he cannot reach the high corners of the home. And himself being a cool, strong vampire who can easily lift him...well, it’s convenient. Nandor's hands, permanently callused from his life as a warrior, dig in to soft, sumptuous flesh.
The little guy’s name is Guillermo. He recognizes it as a Spanish name, but apparently he is not from Spain. Guillermo tells him his family hails from Mexico, and that he’s the first generation born here. Nandor remembers hearing about the country. It’s to the south, if he recalls correctly. They have large hats and colorful donkeys filled with candy, and he has to ask why anyone would want to leave such a paradise.
Unfortunately, it comes with a very long answer that he ends up tuning out. Something to do with years of intentional destabilization from the US for cheap labor and resources, along with an incessant and endless demand for illicit substances. Many people try to flee north and settle down somewhere safer, Guillermo’s family included. But they are exploited here too, and barely scrape by. 
Guillermo had been working at the bread shop to save up for secondary schooling. Which makes sense for his demeanor. Nandor can easily imagine Guillermo at a desk. Spectacles falling down his nose, quill in hand as he scribbled little science things on parchment; warm and eager gaze hardly straying from his work. But he is not a small science man. Guillermo is Nandor’s familiar, despite the fact that he's a soft and shy little thing. Awestruck, demure. Hardly a warrior. Nandor isn’t sure how long he will last in their service, as clumsy and nervous as he is. If nothing else he will make a very tasty snack at some point. 
But now he is here. And doing a surprisingly decent job taking care of the house. The clothes are finally clean, smelling of the weird but pleasant chemicals humans now use to keep stains and dirt away from their precious fabrics. The wood floors are washed, waxed, and polished. And when he tells Guillermo he has missed a spot, he hops to attention right away to correct the problem with a determination boldly written on his face. 
He’s not so great at the victim hiding part. The first time Nandor teaches him to disassemble a body, he shakes and pukes and cries and hyperventilates so hard he almost passes out. Nandor tuts and shakes his head, eyeing his familiar with irritation. Humans these days are so fragile. So far removed from the realities of death. They pay people to secret the corpse away and then pump it full of chemicals to try and make them look alive again. You bury them in a casket that’s supposed to keep them fresh forever in the ground. It’s nonsense. Bodies should rot. Or be burned on a pyre. It’s not natural, what people do these days.
“You want to be a cool vampire guy?” Nandor yells at his human. “You have to get used to killing. And what happens when someone is dead? You’ve got a lot of meat left over you have to do away with,” he scolds him, wagging a bejeweled finger in his face. Luckily for Guillermo Nandor still remembered vividly how to take a human apart, as far removed as he is from his days as a glorious conqueror. It really all comes down to knowing where the joints on the body are. And being strong enough to pop them out of their sockets. After that, it’s all pretty much just loose flesh for the carving. 
Guillermo trembles and looks faintly green, human throwups still clinging to the corner of his lips as he nods along. Later, Nandor watches from a second floor window as he digs his first grave. Dead flesh to nurture Laszlo's beloved garden.
Soon, it begins to feel like Guillermo has always been there. Like Nandor has never not had his little bread making, corpse rending hands brush his hair, escort him in and out of coffin. Unfurl his fresh clothes for the evening and trail after him with a smiling face when they go hunting for fresh blood.
He flits around Nandor like a bumblebee, all fuzzy and round and stripey in his little sweaters. His beating heart like the low thumb of wings. Somehow, it becomes common to lift Guillermo to clean high places. He is so short and fragile and it's not his fault he cannot reach the high corners of the home. And himself being a cool, strong vampire who can easily lift him...well, it’s convenient. 
Nandor's hands, permanently callused from his life as a warrior, dig in to soft, sumptuous flesh. Warm and alive like Guillermo is made of the sun itself. And it’s been almost a thousand years since he’s felt its rays; felt the delicate swell of a March dawn after the tepid months of winter, gentle light giving life to flora and fauna alike. Only to move into the burning summers; terrible heat blazing far above him, as if trying to dry him out, desiccate him. Light so bright and pure it burns everything it touches. What gives also demands sacrifice in turn, and no one knew that better than Nandor. He knows this is a transaction. And Guillermo burns like an August sun. But slowly, inexorably, that terrible human heat awakens something within him. Something he thought long dead, screaming to the surface. An urge to take, to pillage, to conquer. 
He doesn’t know what he wants it to be like. Nandor can imagine so many things. A slow, slick glide, hands grasping flesh tenderly, gentle gasps and the slow, steady roll of hips. Eyes half open and shimmering in the candle light.
He wonders what it would be like to throw him down to the floor, tear off his cute little sweater and undershirt, shred his trousers and undergarments to get to his fat, luxurious ass. He doesn’t know if he wants him to fight back as he is plundered, or if he wants Guillermo to surrender to Nandor’s desire; a rabbit in a wolf’s maw. Mouth open in a scream for mercy, eyes dripping crystalline tears down his rosy cheeks.
He wants to see him broken, see him begging. Whether it was a plea for mercy, or crying out for more, Nandor did not know. The terrible gravity of his monstrous want appalls him. The things he wants to do to his familiar disgust him. Things he was not sure a human could survive. Especially one so pure, so chaste, as his Guillermo. 
Nandor has burned temples, slaughtered priests, and desecrated the scriptures of many a religion with no thought at all. But the idea of taking Guillermo, of ravishing him, relishing him, drives the fear of damnation into Nandor like nothing else ever has. Surely something so soft, so beautiful is holy. Would burn his hand to cinder should he dare try and touch. And yet he longs to. Yearns with an ache he hasn’t felt since he was a king, staring out at lands he had taken from lesser men. Because Guillermo is his and only his. A rare and precious find to be sure. He can only imagine his pure, virgin blood would taste like the finest of wines; floral and ripe, rich and complex. It would lay him out like opium; sedated ecstasy calming his obsessive need. But he knew one taste and he would drain him dry. Would dig his fangs into his throat as deep as they could go, his jaw gnashing desperately into his fragile veins. His hands clutching and squeezing hot flesh like a lifeline, roaming every inch of him in a way that was both sacrilege and worship. 
And like a flash, it will all be over. One night of visceral satisfaction in a long parade of meaningless, hazy days. No more soft smiles on plush lips. No more brown eyes gazing up at him in adoration and making him finally feel like the king he used to be. No more peach boy; no more sun made flesh to taunt him with the life he is missing. The empty legacy of his empire, long gone. Of his dissatisfaction regardless of his success. Of looking out at his riches and feeling nothing at all and hating himself for it. 
So he dares not get too close. He does not make the gamble of fully laying claim to Guillermo. Of giving him everything he has ever wanted only for Nandor to be abandoned after. Or perhaps worse, to keep Guillermo at his side for all eternity and then feel nothing at all. So he bats him away when he tries to get too close. Ignores him. Sometimes belittles him. He maintains the status quo as master and servant. And if his gaze is hungry when Guillermo isn’t looking, or he has to awkwardly deter other vampires from his familiars prized blood, that is Nandor’s business and not anyone else’s. 
________________
Feel free to leave comments or critiques if you want. Imo the central conflict of season 3 is how Nandor still thinks of Guillermo as this little peach boy despite knowing he’s a capable vampire killer. He doesn’t want to part with the image of the vapid, worshipful person who will fall into line if cajoled or scolded enough. That he can just pick up and put down whenever he feels like it. He loves Guillermo but hasn’t recognized his autonomy yet and if they’re gonna be a couple that’s what has to happen.
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chelsfic · 4 years
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I Fell into Fantasy - Nandor x Guillermo One-Shot
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WWDITS Masterlist
Summary: Guillermo admits to a secret desire. Nandor tries to fulfill it without compromising his aloofness. 
A/N: The title of this fic comes from a song called “Days of the Phoenix” by AFI. I was inspired to write this fic by the scene in the movie where Viago talks about how he likes to make things “nice” for his victims during their final moments.
Warnings: Blood drinking, a bit of smut, frottage, pining, angst
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Guillermo really should know better.
How many nights has he spent digging up the garden to dispose of the mangled corpses left behind after the vampires’ feasting? How many bruised, torn throats has he seen? Cracked collar bones and broken limbs? Lifeless, staring eyes? 
He knows the victims are in pain before they die. He knows the vampires sometimes like to play with their food, chasing tearful virgins through the house, giving them a taste of escape before tucking into their meal. He knows it hurts. He knows it isn’t sexy.
Really. He knows.
He’s still jealous. He’s jealous when he shows up to yet another sad familiar mixer to find that nearly every other human in attendance has faded puncture wounds and he has to hide his smooth, pristine throat with a turtleneck sweater. He’s jealous when he’s forced to stand in the corner and listen to his master’s obscene, tantalizing moans as he drinks from some random human who isn’t him. He’s jealous when Nandor remarks on how tasty a victim is, licking his lips before discarding their lifeless forms like so much garbage.
He knows it’s wrong. But he gave up caring about right and wrong a long time ago, around the time he dug his first clandestine grave.
He’s wanted to be bitten ever since he was 13-years-old and he first watched Lestat turn Louis on the 18-inch TV in his bedroom. He’d paused the movie, rewinding and frantically beating off as the blood poured onto Brad Pitt’s lips.  He wants to know what his master’s lips would feel like on the tender hollow of his throat. He wants to feel the scratch of his beard as he closes his mouth over Guillermo’s sensitive skin. He wants Nandor to hold him close. He wants to feel those sensual moans rumble through the vampire’s chest as he takes his fill.
He wants so much.
Whenever he feels jealousy, lust, longing... he reminds himself that he should feel grateful, proud even, that Nandor has never fed from him. Nandor sees him as more than a meal. He’s a trusty companion, a person, a...friend? This is what Guillermo tells himself. He knows it’s not a matter of taste. How many times has Nandor scolded him for looking too tempting when he blushes? Or warned him to be careful with his sword collection because he didn’t want him bleeding all over the place and testing his self-control? 
Whatever his reasoning--respect, boundaries, taboo--Nandor doesn’t feed on his familiar. But Guillermo often wonders if things would be different if his master knew how badly he wanted it.
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“Guillermo, you’re very serious tonight. Are you having to take a human shit? I can wait until after for you to do the tucking in…” 
Nandor stands by his open coffin with an uncomfortable smile on his face that’s akin to a grimace. Guillermo has already helped him remove his outer layers and brushed out his flowing, dark hair. All that remains is for the familiar to hold his hand while he steps up into his coffin.
“No, master, I--I don’t have to take a shit. I’m fine,” Guillermo murmurs with sadness practically oozing out of his pores.
Nandor bristles, his eyes darting all over the room as he wars with himself over whether to press further or simply to ignore Guillermo’s stupid human moods and hope they go away.
The vampire sighs dramatically, “I think you better tell me what is the matter, Guillermo. I don’t want this affecting your work performance. You do a very poor job dusting the paintings and the window dresses when you’re sad. Now what is it? Laszlo and Nadja? Are they giving the guff to you?”
Guillermo is quiet for a long moment, looking up into his master’s fathomless brown eyes as he decides how to respond. Nandor’s whole body is tense as if he’s awaiting the guillotine blade. Maybe he should just get it out of his system and finally admit--well, certainly not everything he feels for his beloved master, but at least about his deep desire to be bitten. 
He blushes, lowering his gaze as he finally answers, “I guess...I’m just a little jealous. Of...of the people you feed from.”
Nandor’s face drops into blank befuddlement before his dark brows lift upward and his lips curl in a poorly concealed smile.
“You’re jealous of my victims? I kill those people! You want me to murder you? Is this some kind of death wish thing? Because I find that really annoying!” Nandor sputters, half amused and half serious.
Guillermo’s face is burning with humiliation now and he rushes to clarify, “No! No, I don’t want to die, master. It’s just...I’ve always wanted to know what it felt like to be bitten by a vampire...”
His voice fades to nothingness but Nandor clearly understands him and his face grows pensive as he contemplates his words.
“Are you bullshitting me?” Nandor questions and his tone is just close enough to irritation to cause Guillermo to shrink in on himself as he answers.
“No, master.”
“Well…” Nandor sighs and affects a look of disinterest. “It’s alright to say that sort of thing to me, Guillermo, because you’re my familiar. But you want to be careful out there with the other vampires. You could get eaten up! And then where would I be? Having to make another ad on the Greg’s List!”
“...Craigslist…”
“As I said!” Nandor snaps, holding out his hand expectantly as he moves to get into his coffin. “Now, that’s enough of this crazy talking. Alright?”
“Alright, master,” Guillermo murmurs subserviently, reaching up to release the lid and slowly lowering it, sealing his master inside. 
“Goodnight, Guillermo!” Nandor’s muffled voice calls as the familiar moves around the room, blowing out candles.
“Night, master!”
Sealed in the claustrophobic darkness of his coffin, Nandor’s mind races as he tries to process this new information about his familiar. Guillermo--his little Guillermo!--would let him bite him and drink his delicious blood? No, he wants him to do it. Yearns for it. He is jealous of the people he kills just because they get to feel the sting of his fangs and the touch of his lips. Nandor palms himself through his trousers. He’s harder than he’s been in a century just thinking of it.
---
He tries, he really does. Guillermo tries to forget about his shameful admission and go back to normal. Nandor certainly seems unmoved, doing nothing to even hint that he remembers having the conversation. So, Guillermo goes through the motions, dutifully completing his chores, searching for fresh sources of virgin blood, and standing by while Nandor sates his bloodlust with perfect strangers. But now that he’s revealed his secret--part of his secret, let’s be honest--and faced his master’s outright rejection, he just can’t seem to let go of the hollow ache in his chest.
He feels inadequate, pathetic, unattractive. And sad. Mostly sad.
Guillermo might think that Nandor has forgotten all about their little chat, but the vampire dwells on it just as much as the human does in the days that follow. And it’s impossible to ignore the scent of “sad human” that’s begun to permeate the household. Nandor spends several days battling with himself over what to do. He considers killing Guillermo and starting over with a new familiar… Guillermo gets his wish, Nandor doesn’t have to confront his shameful attraction to his servant… everybody wins! But the thought of Guillermo’s sweet little face gone still and lifeless sends a foreign stab of emotion into his chest that is really unpleasant.
He could ignore the situation and hope for it to go away on its own. But now that he knows his familiar is secretly lusting after his bite, he can’t get it out of his mind. He’d avoided feeding from Guillermo for years. At first it was a matter of preserving a valuable asset. Guillermo is a good familiar, why risk slipping up and accidentally draining him? After a while, when Nandor started to fixate on his familiar’s adorable smiles, fantasizing about how his soft, little body would feel against his...then it became a matter of self-control and rejecting his disgusting, unnatural feelings for a... servant!
So, that leaves him with one option. He must feed from Guillermo...carefully. So, so carefully so as not to be overcome and either kill or ravish the poor fellow. And if he is going to bite his Guillermo, then he must make it a pleasant experience for his familiar. He can’t stomach the idea of simply ripping into his human and hearing him scream and cry with the pain of it. No, it has to be...special.
---
Guillermo is barely in the door, laden down with shopping bags, when his master’s voice calls to him.
“Guillermo! Is that you?”
“Yes, master! I’m back from the store. I got you some more of those bath bombs you like,” Guillermo answers, wrestling with the bags as he edges towards his room. “Is there something--?”
Nandor appears at his side and interrupts, “The one with the lavender? Very good, Guillermo. Ehm--why don’t you put down those satchels and come with me to my room for a moment. I have a surprise for you.”
Guillermo’s face lights up with a warm smile and he drops the bags on the floor by his closet-room, “A surprise? For me, master?”
“Just for you, Guillermo! Come!” Nandor practically skips at his side as they walk back to his room, his eyes lit with anticipation.
Nandor closes and locks the door behind them, watching his familiar take in the arrangements he’s made. He borrowed Laszlo’s gramophone and set it up in the corner. It’s playing a soft, quiet melody that floats gently on the incense-infused air. A vase of vivid red roses sits on an end table next to his fancy couch, which he’s covered in a layer of bath towels. 
“What...what is all this, master?” Guillermo breathes, walking up to the flowers and burying his nose in the fragrant blooms with a smile on his lips. 
“Do you like it, Guillermo? I wanted it to be--” he pulls a face but manages to get the word out “--nice for you.”
“But, why?”
Nandor steps up beside his familiar, towering over the smaller man. “I’m going to feed from you. If... if that is still something you are wanting.”
“Oh,” the word comes out on a shaky exhale and Guillermo feels his knees go weak. “I--yes, I still want...that. Thank you, master.”
Nandor smiles, baring his fangs and crinkling his eyes. Guillermo feels his heart do a flip in his chest and wonders, distractedly, if Nandor can hear his heartbeat. They’re standing so close. Guillermo could lean forward just a bit and they’d be touching. He looks up into Nandor’s eyes and finds them melted with warmth. His master has never gone through such an effort for him before. Guillermo feels like his heart could burst.
“You want to take a seat?” Nandor gestures to the towel covered couch and Guillermo snaps out of his daze.
He sinks down onto the cushions, running his hands appreciatively over the terry cloth, “This was clever, master.”
Nandor takes a seat beside him, close enough that their thighs brush together and Guillermo gulps. He’s brushed his master’s hair, helped him dress, helped him bathe for goodness sake, but he’s never felt as close to him as he does now.
“Are you comfort-a-ble, Guillermo?” Nandor asks, staring at his face with a hungry intensity. 
Guillermo locks eyes with him and he sees his master’s pupils dilate, his lips part to bare elongated fangs. He gasps out a quivering breath as he fights the waves of exhilaration, lust and fear in order to answer.
“Yes, it’s...very comfy, master. Very nice, thank you.”
“Good,” Nandor responds, his eyes flicking down to Guillermo’s collar. “Why don’t you remove your woolen garment and open your collar. I don’t want to spoil your nice clothes.”
Guillermo feels like he’s in a dream. Nandor is never this...considerate. His mind flashes back to every time he’s watched his master strike out at a victim unannounced, with fierce aggression and even cruelty. It’s pathetic that his standards are so low, but the fact that Nandor isn’t treating him like just another victim to be used and discarded sends a rush of affection and hope flowing through him. He hastily grabs the bottom of his sweater, pulling it up over his head and tossing it aside. Next, he reaches for the collar of his shirt, but Nandor is there first. His long, thick fingers pluck at the buttons, releasing each one until Guillermo’s chest is visible. He pulls the collar aside, revealing the smooth, unblemished curve of Guillermo’s neck and shoulder.
“Are you ready?” Nandor asks with a hiss as he eyes his familiar’s naked skin. He’s never seen so much of the man before and he feels his cock stir with interest inside his trousers. 
“Yes,” Guillermo breathes needily, tilting his head to bare his neck even further. 
Nandor brings his hand up to cradle Guillermo’s head, letting his fingers sink into his soft curls and cupping his warm cheek in his palm. The pulse point at Guillermo’s throat is practically visible, his heart is beating so fast. Nandor feels his mouth flood with saliva as the rushing flow of Guillermo’s blood reaches his ears. 
He wraps his other arm around his familiar, drawing him onto his lap and finally leaning in to bury his face into the warm, inviting crook of his neck. Nandor breathes in the intoxicating aroma that even the human-things-for-smelling and his incense cannot obscure. He moans loudly. He might be embarrassed if he were less overcome with the sensory feast of his familiar’s soft body in his arms and the promise of his warm, thick blood.
Guillermo mewls at the touch of his master’s mouth on his bare throat. His beard is scratchy and rough but his lips are impossibly soft and gentle. It’s like a kiss, he thinks, his heart rushing with affection and joy. Nandor’s arm around him is firm and strong. He knows that he could never hope to escape if Nandor truly wished to restrain him and drink him dry. Putting this level of trust in his master makes him feel like a tiny, frail rabbit in the jaws of a hungry wolf. A delicious shiver runs down his spine at the image. And then Nandor’s lips pull back and he feels the sharp points of his fangs graze over tender skin.
“Oh!” Guillermo cries out. 
Nandor growls low in his throat but pulls back just slightly to check, “Is this still alright?”
Guillermo nods quickly, bringing up his hands to run them through Nandor’s soft hair reassuringly, “Yes! Yes! Please, master!”
He feels Nandor’s chest rumble with suppressed laughter and then there’s just the blinding, burning flash of pain that blooms as Nandor finally strikes, burying his fangs into his familiar’s soft, warm throat. Guillermo’s mouth falls open and his hands fist in Nandor’s hair as the first wave takes him. 
“Shhh,” Nandor murmurs wetly against his neck, lapping the spilled blood with long strokes of his tongue. “Shhh, you’re safe.”
“Nnghh!” a pleasured groan strangles from the familiar’s throat at the touch of his master’s tongue. Guillermo squirms, his cock filling even as blood drains away from his body. 
Nandor tightens his arms around his little Guillermo, pulling him flush against his broad chest and biting down once more as he begins to drink in earnest. He moans wantonly as the sweet blood fills his mouth. He’s as hard as he’s ever been and he rolls his hips against his familiar’s generous backside. He drinks and he drinks.
The pain ebbs enough for Guillermo to lose himself in the delicious feeling of connection with his master. His hands, his lips, his tongue, his teeth are all on him, inside of him, part of him. Nandor’s touch unlocks a secret room inside of Guillermo where he keeps his most tender feelings. For once he allows himself to truly feel the devotion, the affection... the love that he has for his master. It’s wonderful and dizzying. Tears slip from his eyes as he reaches his arms around Nandor’s broad shoulders, hugging him closer for as long as he’ll allow.
Too soon he feels his head start to spin and his grip on Nandor’s shoulders loosens. The vampire senses it immediately and draws back with a feral growl. Guillermo is limp and breathless in his master’s arms. He looks up with heavy-lidded eyes and watches Nandor lick blood from his lurid, stained lips.
“Thank you, master,” Guillermo whispers, snuggling into Nandor’s chest with a contented sigh. His arousal is flagging and he hopes that his master hasn’t noticed. He’d felt Nandor’s rigid erection grinding against him while the vampire drank his blood, but he has no way of knowing if that’s just something that happens every time he feeds. Whatever the case, he’s far too weak and drunk with happiness to do anything but drift along and hope that Nandor keeps holding him.
Nandor’s dead heart squeezes in his chest at the sight of his sleepy familiar burrowing his face into his chest. His plan seems to have failed. He’d wanted to give Guillermo his fantasy while remaining aloof, but instead he’s feeling an annoying rush of warm affection. Worse, he’s shamed himself by...rutting against the human like a street dog. He should push him away, or give him an order to remind him of the boundaries that are still in place. But as he looks down at the sweet smile on his familiar’s lips he can’t find it in him to spoil the moment for him so soon. Tomorrow. Tomorrow night he’d remind Guillermo of how things still stand between them.
“Will you keep holding me, master?” Guillermo mumbles, his eyes drifting shut. The human has read his thoughts!
“Yes,” Nandor replies, leaning down and tracing a barely there kiss onto Guillermo’s forehead. “For a little while.”
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doomedandstoned · 3 years
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Cave of Swimmers Reach Epic Heights in Infectious New Spinner ‘Aurora’
~Review by Billy Goate~
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Album Art by Brian Olson
I've always said that given the right circumstances (say a good set of professional ears lodged in influential places) that CAVE OF SWIMMERS would be a sensation. Why? Because they've got all the right stuff to really connect with people at a time when heavy music has been simmering underground, well-past ready for a fresh outburst. Hamstrung by lockdowns, financial burdens, and fear aplenty, we're ready to dust off our air guitars and party like it's 1987 again (incidentally, the year I first discovered heavy music). I'm not alone in speculating that we're in for another Roaring Twenties, not unlike the carefree days that followed the last global pandemic. And it's precisely this kind of energetic vibe, with its unique Latin-meets-metal flavor, that is ripe and ready to rock 'n' revel to!
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Hell, we've not heard a sound this contagious since, well, maybe Sepultura -- and that was another animal entirely. With that said, Cave of Swimmers are very much metal to the core. And oh what a crowd-rousing live show Guillermo Gonzalez (guitar, synth, vox) and Arturo Garcia (drums, backing vox) can put on! I was there when Cave of Swimmers energized a hung-over and droopy mob gathered 'round The Vinyl Stage at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, lo those many years ago at the inaugural Psycho Las Vegas.
Doomed & Stoned · The Doomed & Stoned Show - The Cave Of Swimmers Special
All that and they have an appealing back story: two friends whose families relocated to Florida amidst tumultuous circumstances in Venezuela. As teenagers, Arturo and Guillermo grew up idolizing bands like Iron Maiden and Metallica and now they've crafted a fantastic, original style of their own, with wicked guitar play and grandiose vocals built atop a rhythmic array that is simultaneously feverish and suave, with choruses that are imminently singable. Stream their latest LP at least twice through and I can predict which lines you'll be humming at work and crowing in the shower at the top of your lungs.
When the band burst upon the scene in 2013 with Cave of Swimmers, I remember the community sharing it like mad. From "Materia" onward to their incredible namesake anthem, it was as if the Latin Candlemass had emerged from the salty Atlantic to enthrall crowds like some kind of warbling Creature from the Black Lagoon.
Cave of Swimmers by CAVE OF SWIMMERS
Their music-making only got better from there. 2015 gifted us with a second EP, Reflection, featuring a song I have no doubt will one day be a doom metal standard, "Prince of the Power of the Air". I'm telling you, the Psycho crowd went stompin' nuts when they heard those quasi-Biblical lyrics sung in epic doom fashion accompanied by that stern guitar tone, leading up to an incredible solo, and then a delirious second-half, which made everyone dance (whether we wanted to or not). It's infectious, like I said. I'm telling you, this sound cannot be matched. And I'm convinced it will not be stopped, either.
Reflection by CAVE OF SWIMMERS
2021 is Cave of Swimmer's year to ascend, for thus saith the Prophet that dwelleth atop the Rocks on High! Pandemic or no, it was this duo's time to release the material that had been welling up inside of them for so long. I guess we can call this their first LP, even though every spin so far has felt sufficiently hefty to refer to as a full-length. Six songs clocking in at over 30 minutes -- it's the band's next stepping stone in their journey from the recording studio into your earbuds and mine.
Aurora by CAVE OF SWIMMERS
'Aurora' (2021) plays like the first songbird of spring, if you'll indulge my idyllic wording for a moment. It's just so full of earnestness, life, and yes joy. Three things that we've been longing for in the midst of so much treachery and nihilistic despair. Hell, I consider myself something of a nihilist, but this band melts away my grim pessimism. It's all encapsulated in the thrashy, downtuned attack married to a kind of urgent Latin vibe that says "We've got one night left to live, let's die with a smile!"
After an atmospheric introduction that foreshadows material still to come, we're treated to "The Sun," which the band released as a single awhile back. I remember telling them at the time, "You guys should be huge." I meant it with all my heart, too. Certainly, this isn't watered down pop music fare, yet I think the average heavy music listener will find it wholly accessible. I'd put this Cave of Swimmers neck-and-neck with any Top 50 touring metal act, based on this track alone. Maybe I'm just enamored of their sound and being less than objective. So sue me.
Next up: "Double Rainbow," which is a kind of resurrection of optimism. Hope for a new and better tomorrow. "Forget the hate, forget the scene, forget the life of complacency," Guillermo sings. "A second arc, new scenery, our time is here. Don’t let it go! When I hear it, I too want to believe." It's a message that's especially important for us to convey to the next generation of rockers and metalheads, lest they be weighed down by our own disillusionment and mistakes. This is a song that encourages that that brash, foolhardy youthful joie de vivre and its power to change the status quo.
"My Human" opens up with a burst of syncopated guitar that reminds me of something Tom Morello likes to cook up, but its mere window dressing for a song that develops into something purely Cave of Swimmers. A single melodic line of epic singing accented by a soft layer of synthesizer lays out the verse, followed by one headbanger of a chorus. It's a song about companionship and the consolation that we can have in one another, if we will only open ourselves up long enough to being truly human. To give and in turn receive. It also seems to speak of a hope beyond this life, at least in some ethereal, metaphysical sense.
"Looking Glass'' unloads a spitfire of "Say hello to my little friend!" style riffage that rips open into a chorus I could definitely take with me to salsa lessons, if I were to dare return. Remind me to tell you about the time I accidently cracked a partner's nose with my elbow while trying to pull off one of those fancy turn-and-swing maneuvers. Sigh. Some of us have no rhythm, whatsoever. But I recognize a good slam-dancing song when I hear it!
Which leads me to talk "Dirt." Much more gritty than its predecessors, accompanied by a spooky synth of the kind Rob Zombie or Acid Witch are apt to toy with. Even as the mood turns grim, it's a foot shuffler nonetheless. And there's no denying the power of those soaring, falconesque vocals. Guillermo seems capable of transporting listeners to a higher plane of consciousness. Good thing, too, because the message is that we've all been living in our mental prisons for far too long, reinforced by "pride and ego trips."
Billions of us Where are we going to? Chasing our tails around the sun Bleeding our hearts Divided and conquered, too Buy us for sale at the dollar store Raised like pigs on dirt
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It's time to break free. The song ends with a section of flamenco-style guitar executed with deft classical technique. It reminded me a bit of Psychroptic's "Euphorinasia" -- another song that makes brilliant use of acoustic guitar.
"C.S." is Cave of Swimmer's swan song -- a send-back to their earliest work. Their reprisal reminds me of something Metallica would do. There's a certain "Nothing Else Matters" mood about it all. Then out of nowhere, a spurt of volcanic riffage and mad drumming breaks out into a Gojiraesque hoe-down. Oh yes, and there's another celebratory trve metal guitar solo lodged in there juxtaposed with complex rhythmic percussion.
I'm telling you, Cave of Simmers cannot be beat. The game belongs to them. Their time is now. Give ear...
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