queer as folk rec list (#1)
Wooooo finally, sorry it took so long @bethespark ♥
(This is also... inspiration for @eusuntgratie , but no pressure, we’re all well aware of your completely normal and sedate decent into hockey rpf that has consumed your soul and fic life.)
This will be the first post of a few; when I was going through my QAF bookmarks I came across way too many fics I want to rec. No real theme to these, there’s a variety of topics/themes/vibes.
ALL FICS ARE BRITIN/BRIAN X JUSTIN <3
The One Where Justin Loses His Hearing by LaVieEnRose
Series summary: AU after Season 4. The year Justin turns 23, he and Brian get the news that over the next year he's going to gradually lose all of his hearing. The series tracks the next years of their life as they manage their new reality, after-effects of the bashing, their eventual move to New York, and their ever-evolving relationship. Told in first-person chapters from their points of view and some outsiders, with some angst, a lot of hurt/comfort, and loads of humor. Never any big relationship drama, always disability-positive, and no one ever takes themselves too seriously. This isn't a WIP, per se, because all the stories are their own complete thing. It's just a collection of stories in a universe, so it's not going to have some definite end.
Absolutely my #1 rec. Listen, I know you’re going to open it and go holy shit this girl’s insane; it’s a series of one shots set in a universe, currently at 157 one shots and over 800,000 words. But because it’s a series of self-contained one shots, there’s no need to read it all, rush through, whatever. It’s amazing and so so worth it. Just check out the first fic, trust me. Most fics are M, some T, one or two E.
A Queer as Folk Halloween by Brynneth
Rated E, 4K, canon compliant
Summary: A Halloween costume party, Brian and Justin style. Which of them will win the bet to decide what costumes they will wear?
This is possibly the first fic I read involving subspace. Funny and hot.
Sunshine is a Fucking Dick by Frayach
Rated M, 4K, canon compliant
Summary: Hurt/Comfort? Hurt/Comfort's bullshit.
Brian has cancer and the only way he’ll accept his Sunshine’s help is if he’s a dick about it. This is so good, I’ve reread it a bunch of times.
Contacts by LaVieEnRose
Rated G, 800 words, canon compliant
Summary: Over the years, they saved each other under different names.
What it says on the tin. How and why they’ve saved each other under different names in their phones over the years. Very cool character/relationship insight.
Fatherhood by PrettyTheWorld and TrueIllusion
Rated M and E, 94K, 5 one shots (so far), post-series
Series summary: A series of one shots that focus on Brian's relationship with teenage Gus.
Really good series set post-series, Justin and Brian are living in NYC and Brian’s son Gus, who was 5 when the show ended, is a teenager living in Canada with his moms. Brian sometimes struggles to navigate parenting a teen, but he’s grown a lot and is determined to have a good relationship with his son, unlike his father’s relationship with him. On the softer side, some super sweet moments, some angst, some humor.
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Lindsay and Melanie: The Illusion of Control
Okay, so since I already wrote an analysis of Michael's arc in Queer as Folk, I figured I'd move onto the next main character that gets a lot of flack: Lindsay Peterson. But also Melanie Marcus, because their arcs are intertwined as much as Brian's and Justin's.
That said, there's going to be a serious aspect of critique here, because unlike with Michael--whom I genuinely think is one of the best written characters--Melanie's and especially Lindsay's characters do have some very obvious writing flaws. (I also already touched on this--briefly--here.) However, they also have some very clear strengths in their writing that I find intriguing, so let's dive in.
Again in my analysis of Michael (and Justin and Brian), I talked about the overall motif/theme of illusion vs. reality. That is something also very present in Lindsay and Melanie's respective arcs, where it takes the form of the illusion of control. Control is the primary flaw for both women, but it manifests itself differently.
Lindsay: wants to control her image
Melanie: wants control of the world around her
Lindsay: Infuriatingly Right, and Wrong
Marianne: Is Lindsay one of those people who's always infuriatingly right?
Oh, Lindsay. She's kind to those around her, and she's often right. But her rightness comes from her empathy, which also can become her greatest weakness... because she knows she's often right, and she knows she's compassionate, she can then try to please everyone and thereby please no one.
In season 1, Linds doesn't want to upset Brian or Melanie regarding Gus, and therefore creates more problems. Neither Brian nor Melanie were wrong in what they were feeling, but how Brian went about it was wrong. It's Lindsay's desire to be the perfect friend to Brian and girlfriend to Melanie that keeps her from being decent at either at first.
When Linds hits a rough point, her default is to go into image-control mode. She can't risk losing the house after she and Mel break up in season 1, so she finds a gay man and opts to marry him for convenience. She'd get to keep the house, and he'd get to stay in the country. But it's all a fraud and also highly illegal. Still, Lindsay goes to great lengths to invent a fake relationship to make this work, and would have gone through with it had Brian not intervened.
That's why Lindsay deciding to propose to Melanie in season 2, at her sister's third wedding after her sister's atrocious patronizing insult, is so powerful for Lindsay. It's such a taboo, and yet a beautiful moment. She's shattering her image, and her family's image (which is indeed what her mom, Nancy, goes on to bewail).
As we go on to see, Lindsay has always struggled with trying to earn her parents' approval. They judge her sexuality and don't even consider Gus their grandson.
Lindsay: It's not about the money. It's about...
Mel: Love? You want them to show you the same attention that they show Lynette... Maybe we have to prove more afford. We've never really asked them over to see how we live. Meet our friends. Which makes us same guilty as they are.
Lindsay: So, what are we do?
Mel: We invite them over and throw a little party.
Lindsay: You aren't serious!
Mel: If they could see that we're a real family, with a real life, just like your sister, then they might feel differently.
But they are a real family, and they have real lives with or without Lindsay's parents' permission. Lindsay's arc in season 2 shows her letting go of expectations, as her parents fail her yet again and show that the reason Lindsay focuses so much on image? Is because they do the same.
Mel: Lindsay's been working her ass off for you. Would it have been so f*cking hard to show up?
Nancy and Ron: Language!
Mel: Your excuses are bullshit. All she wants from you is to show her a little support.... Look, I know what you think about me. I'm the slick Jew lawyer come to shake you down for a few sheckels. The d*ke who corrupted your daughter. Well, you're wrong. I'm Lindsay's loving partner, and Gus's adoring mother. And I know that I will never cause him the pain that you've caused her. He'll never have to wonder whether or not I love him.
"Language" when you've just lied to your daughter to avoid going to a simple party at her house is a real laugh.
When Lindsay and Melanie's wedding starts to go wrong, Lindsay wants to call it off because she thinks it's just not supposed to happen because they're gay. Fortunately, again, Melanie and Brian intervene to save the day. But this incident reveals how deeply ingrained the self-loathing, shame, and struggle to conform to an image of what a wedding/life should be are in Lindsay. Thus, it makes sense that she'd backslide in her arc at times... although the backsliding isn't always handled well.
We then also see Lindsay getting Brian to fake being her husband to get Gus into school. The narrative then denies Gus in favor of a same-sex couple, teaching Lindsay a valuable lesson: be yourself, regardless of image. But that's hard to keep up in a world that is so toxic.
When Lindsay becomes an art seller in season 3, she makes great strides and is highly successful, earning a good impression in those around her. She also pushes that season for Brian to be the father for her and Mel's next child, even though neither Melanie nor Brian are excited about this possibility. The point is that Lindsay keeps saying she wants Brian to father their second child because "our kids [should] be related."
The irony, of course, is that Lindsay's own blood relations ignore her at best. Her family is with those around her, a found family. Hence, it's good from this perspective that Lindsay supports Melanie choosing Michael as the father.
However, once we get into season 4, Lindsay finds herself facing a new temptation: a man, whom her mother would approve of (as seen in season 5, she does). But said man is horrible, cruel, and openly misogynistic.
It also says something about Lindsay's self-esteem that she had sex with a man who literally just wanted to turn a lesbian. Gross. Of course, Lindsay wasn't interested in that and regretted it immediately, and affirmed that she was a lesbian (yes, bi erasure comes into play here, but people are what they say their labels are). Yet still, it's ironic and sad that the idea of looking "as she should" causes the family she does have to fall apart.
Does the cheating plotline with Sam work for her arc? On paper, I do think so. In the context of the story as a whole and the world it's created in, it's not the best choice for where they could have taken her arc, imo. By not the best, I mean "laziest." They got where Lindsay needed to grow and got the challenge, but could have done it in a far more unique and interesting way that didn't come with icky subtext.
When Lindsay then leaves Melanie, it also makes sense and could be seen as growth for a time. Mel lashed out at her in ways that were both fair and unfair, and Lindsay didn't have to sit there and put up with it after a certain time. It was good for her to show Melanie that she couldn't lash out at Lindsay in her pain.
Melanie: Hurting, or Hypocrite?
My initial reaction to Melanie's response to Lindsay cheating on her with Sam was that she was being totally hypocritical. And she was. But, I actually think it could have worked for her character arc... if it had been explored on a deeper level. (It also wasn't the only way to have her grow, so... I think they should've gone with another plotline, but if they wanted to go with this one, it actually really could have worked, and does to the extent where it doesn't completely ruin her or Lindsay's arc, which was impressive because in less skilled hands it for sure would have.)
Let's back up and talk about what Melanie's arc was about. I've already said it was about control, which, if we had any doubts, Lindsay clears up for us:
Melanie: If you would've listened to me and done what I said, we wouldn't be playing this game of, "Baby, Baby, Who's Got The Baby?"
Lindsay: That's what's killing you, isn't it? It has nothing to do with the baby or the custody agreement. It has to do with you, Melanie Marcus, not getting her way, not having complete control over everything. Well, tough shit, ya don't!
But why does Melanie want control so badly?
We'll start off with Melanie's antagonistic relationship to Brian. No, this isn't making Mel's arc about Brian, but about foiling.
Despite claiming to hate Brian, Melanie really only hates him not because of jealousy for Lindsay, but because she has a lot in common with him and doesn't like to see that. Brian doesn't control the people around him, that's true, but Brian is the sort who acts like he doesn't give a care about anyone until all of a sudden, he's sacrificing everything to make them happy. Melanie's the same. She claims to hate Brian, but is willing to represent him pro bono when he's falsely accused of sexual harassment.
She denies some of the best parts of herself, and feels a constant need to prove she has the right to exist and live and love. That's also the crux of Brian's issues: feeling the need to prove the right to live, without realizing that you don't need to earn life.
Hence, Melanie learning to accept Brian and tolerate him (albeit with the same sardonic eye rolls Brian employs with 99% of his loved ones) is symbolic of her learning to accept those parts of herself she doesn't want to accept. When she denies this, she pays the price. For example, when Melanie chooses Michael over Brian to father JR... yeah, you're not gonna hear me defending Michael here. At all. Mel's at first worried about having a repeat of Gus, but Brian had grown and would never have put her through a custody battle.
Melanie accepting Brian also shows Melanie how to grow: she needs to let go of the need to control others, which is partially what she does in the end of the series. She can't control Lindsay or whom Lindsay is attracted to, she can't control the fathers of her children and the roles they play in their kids' lives, but she loves them. Because she loves them, she has a way forward.
Melanie's way forward has always been through Lindsay. Their marriage storyline in season 2 ties into Melanie overcoming her flaw as much as it does Lindsay. When Mel tells Lindsay that while she initially said there was no point in getting married, she meant because straight people wouldn't give them permission. But as she then tells Lindsay:
Mel: That's not quite true... we wouldn't give ourselves permission.
Mel tries to control those around her out of fear of herself, and her being accepted by Lindsay despite losing self-control (via her affair in season 1), and then by marrying Lindsay, was always her path forward.
However, Brian's influence isn't perfect. Him telling Melanie she needs to play the game--the same advice she leaned into when defending him in season 1--backfired when she pushed Lindsay to do the same with Sam. In a sense, this could be seen as a way of asking Lindsay to reconsider Melanie's perspective.
Melanie's issues with playing the game are directly tied to her identity: she's a Jewish lesbian, and she has always felt different because of it. Lindsay's parents constantly put her down, people invalidate her as a woman because of her endometriosis and fertility struggles, and she loses opportunities at work for her orientation. Every time she defends herself, she falls back on her identity. See the above quote where Melanie tells off Ron and Nancy, and also Mel's response to the Petersons freak-out over Lindsay proposing to her (where she says that of course the Petersons "blame the Jew").
From this perspective, Melanie's utter freak out at Lindsay's infidelity makes a ton of sense. She's always comforted herself that she isn't alone: she has Lindsay, who is also a lesbian and loves her. But is she enough? How can she be in a world that tells her she's wrong? (It's also not a coincidence Mel is the character who frequently brings up straight white male privilege.)
But then Lindsay gives into her worst flaws. Melanie is terrified of losing her, and she pushes Lindsay away (hey, Brian-esque tendencies: kick them out before they leave!). When Melanie tells Lindsay off, it's with a scathing speech about how she's always known exactly who she is:
Mel: it gave you a chance to contrast and compare and come to the conclusion that given the choices, you still prefer me!
Lindsay: That part is true.
Mel: Well, it isn't true for me. I know which team I play on. It's not a choice or a preference. It's who I am! It's who I've always been. A rug muncher, a muff-diver, a cunt-lapper, a bull, a lezzie, a d*ke!
Lindsay: What do you think I am?
Mel: Don't ask me to make up your mind for you. You have to do that all by yourself.
Lindsay: I'm a lesbian.
Mel: Not if you're having sex with a man, honey!
Yes, Mel's reaction is biphobic. But it also makes sense from the perspective of being pregnant, doing a very traditionally expected feminine thing, and then finding out someone she's always felt she wasn't good enough for cheated on her with a man Lindsay's family would be all too happy to see her leave Mel for. I mean, that's what Mel directly tells Lindsay:
Mel: There's nothing I can do that'll ever make you feel completely happy. You'll always feel unsatisfied and I'll always feel like I'm not enough.
Lindsay: That's not true.
Mel: Bullshit! Of course it is! Otherwise none of this would've happened!
This could have worked fairly well as an exploration of concepts like biphobia and Melanie's own self-esteem issues, but it was mostly not addressed. In an ideal version of QaF, all of this could also have then been used to explore Melanie's complicated feelings about being a mom, a lesbian, and a successful lawyer. But, it wasn't.
Along those lines, it does make sense that needing to play the game in a legal sense had legal consequences for Melanie (custody). But again, this wasn't dealt with on a deep-enough level to have emotional impact, or to feel earned instead of feeling like tacked-on drama (that was somewhat unfair, too; give Mel a break!)
Lindsay, Melanie, Debbie, and Jennifer
Lindsay and Melanie also foil Debbie and Jennifer, the two other moms with arcs in the series. All four are good mothers. Two are outspoken (Debbie and Mel), two softer (Lindsay and Jennifer). Two attempt to control others albeit out of love and fear of being hurt (Melanie and Debbie), while two want control of their own image (Lindsay and Jennifer).
For example, Jennifer literally tells Craig not to tell anyone about Brian and Justin's relationship because "that's the last thing we need, for anybody else to know!" Thus, it's also fitting that Jennifer ends up in a slightly transgressive relationship of her own at the end of the series (with the much younger Tucker). Letting go of your image to be yourself is the best way to love others, and yourself.
But Jen and Melanie have similar views of Brian and a similar arc in season 1. Through learning to accept Brian, Melanie learns she isn't perfect and accepts this, and Jennifer learns to grow. Lindsay and Debbie are similar too in how they always accepted Brian as he is. However, Lindsay and Debbie's arcs are both about how they need to accept they aren't perfect, either (and again, their empathy/being right is at once their greatest strengths and their greatest weakness, because it makes it harder for them to look at themselves and be like: am I the bad guy here?) For more on Deb's arc, see here.
Considering these four women are all such obvious foils, more interaction between them would've been nice.
Why Mellinds' Writing Flaws Stand Out
It's not that I think Melanie and Lindsay's arcs themselves are bad technically speaking--clearly, I don't think that. I also don't think there's a huge gap in writing quality between them and some of the male cast. However, there is a reason that people tend to pick up on the issues in their arcs more, and that has everything to do with the lack of good representation--not just in the world, but specifically in Queer as Folk.
There are three main female characters (Lindsay, Melanie, Debbie), of which only Linds and Mel are queer. There are only four female characters with long-running arcs (add Jennifer to the previous three). Each of the main four female characters' arcs? Is primarily explored through their motherhood and relationships with men.
Not Great. (Daphne is a great side character, but she doesn't really have her own arc, which is a shame; I think a lot could have been done here especially when it comes to intersectionality.)
While Debbie's writing is some of the best in the series, she's still straight, as is Jennifer. I don't so much think I would change the overall directions of Melanie and Lindsay's arcs, but there needed to be another queer female character (cis or trans) to add diversity and avoid a "one size fits all" portrayal of women's desires. Because there isn't, the show comes dangerously close to this perspective, which is at its core very much the exact opposite of its message: we don't all have to be the same to be human. QaF says fuck one size fits all, after all! I kinda wish Leda had stuck around...
Now, this could work since it is, after all, just a story, and stories aren't inherently obligated to show you a perfect kind of representation for everyone... but QaF did hold itself up as breaking boundaries and pushing a progressive narrative. Which, it did. But of course, this also means its flaws stand out more.
Illusion vs Reality
The idea of "control" is something very human. Don't we all want some control over our own lives, our futures, over what the world thinks about us? Thus, Lindsay and Melanie's relationship journey ties into the concept of what it means to be human, which is QaF's main theme. Being human means you can't control things except yourself, and even then there are limits (diseases, bodies and brains that get injured). And even self-control isn't a guarantee, which is why we need the people we love around us.
When Mel and Linds move to Canada in the season finale, it's a healthy decision for them. No, they haven't completely overcome their flaws. They probably won't, because no one ever will in this life, but they can grow all the same. They're moving to a place where they are more supported, a place where they can make their marriage legal (a callback to how, when breaking up over Sam, they remarked how they were lucky they couldn't marry legally because they didn't have to go through a divorce; now they do, assuming they legally marry which seems pretty obvious). There, Melanie might find it a healthier environment to begin to heal and feel less like she has to be on the defensive about her identity. There also, Lindsay has completely left her biological family but will keep in touch with her found family, as she and Mel assure Deb "we wouldn't be family without you."
No, it's not perfect. There are no guarantees. Nothing is solved, and Canada will have its own problems undoubtedly. But keep trying for a better world, for a safer environment, to be aware of your own limits and need for a healthier place, to want to raise your kids in a better place--that's all love in action. Love is active in Queer as Folk far more than it's an emotion. It's a decision. It's hope put into actions. It's faith. And that's beautiful.
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