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watchtowerindistress · 1 year

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we are not our demons (22/24) - bruce wayne x batmom

Gif source: oscarspoe

Author’s note: Believe it or not, I'm currently glancing at the plot layout for this series and I'm on the last page. I fear I'm getting an emotional breakdown as soon as I'm writing Chapter 24 because I know I want to speed things up but on the other hand, I'm afraid of getting to the end.

I really like the plot of this chapter, so you know fluffy Batfam is happening! Those emotional scenes with Tim were kinda spontaneous and gave me the chance to have Ellie talk about her own backstory.

Yes, I know what I wrote in We are not our masks - that I didn't mention her father dying. I didn't want to update that prequel chapter because I didn't want to confuse readers for the second series, the way I keep revising stuff. I thought it'd be nice to delve into her past like this. [See you at the end.]

Beta-read by Heidi.

Words: 5.0k

Warning: fluff, trauma

Please reblog/leave a comment.

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You’re the keeper, protector

It is you that holds us together

When everything else fails us

It is you that holds us together

- Hold Us Together by H.E.R. -

“Do I need to speak to you about earned privileges?”

Ellie just minded her business of nursing her cup of black tea to get through the day while Alfred had been silently doing his chores. An action he accomplished with a stewing quality. It was such a novel experience to enjoy the beams of sunlight dancing over the crystalline water and refract into the hallway of the foyer.

That was until he abruptly turned around and let a steely gaze burn through her.

She lifted the mug to her lips and sighed audibly. “Bruce said you were mad that I didn’t tell you, so you could join in on the violence,” Ellie mentioned almost casually.

The older butler pointed a condemning finger at her. “That’s one of the reasons, but let’s ignore that for a bit.” Alfred splayed his fingers on the kitchen island in front of him. A kitchen towel attached between his fingertips.

“I’m offended on behalf of Master Bruce since he doesn’t seem to be. It’s not the fact that you abused your prerogatives and took a specific weapon from the cave, but that you picked Joker’s crowbar.”

A worried glint seized Alfred’s gaze. “Do you realize how twisted that notion truly sounds?”

All of a sudden, Ellie felt fatigue take over her body when her shoulders drooped. “I do. I just wanted to cause him the same pain and I know how messed up it sounds that I used that murder weapon. We all have been suffering, and it was just too much. First Babs and now Damian. I’m sorry, Alfred.”

He sent her a concerned glance when he leaned forward. “You’re not alone anymore in this. You know this, don’t you?”

Ellie nodded her head in acceptance of his comforting words. “No more solo runs,” she promised before she regained her chutzpah. “I never used the crowbar on him, if it’s any consolation.”

Alfred arched a knowing eyebrow. “Disappointed you didn’t?”

“Maybe just a little bit.” Ellie smirked lightly. “Wow, I really don’t want to ever get on your bad side, huh?”

Just like that, Alfred’s teasing glint returned. “It would certainly not be in your best interest.”

Ellie snorted in agreement. Her face contorted slightly once she reached for her morning cup and let the warm liquid flow down her throat.

“Good morning,” a soft voice mumbled under his breath.

Ellie slowly turned her head to find Tim climbing next to her left on the bar stool. “Hey, you,” she softly ruffled the messy hair on his head, finally succumbing to that urge. It was comforting to know that Tim didn’t jolt away from her touch and smiled shyly in return.

“So, I was thinking, we could do something nice today.” Ellie sent him an inquisitive glance over her shoulder while the dark-haired boy prepared himself to a light breakfast of French Toast and poured a generous amount of blueberry sauce over it.

Young Tim glimpsed at Ellie with curious yet hesitant eyes—an expression he seemed to have picked up from his father. “Like what?”

Ellie kept a soft and mysterious smile on her face while shrugging her shoulders. “That’s a surprise. You’ll see it soon.”

His lips thinned at that mention and grumbled slowly with a nervous air, “I don’t really like surprises.”

Alfred, who had been quiet and observant until now, decided to speak up with a velvety voice, “It’s alright, Master Tim. You’re probably going to like it if Miss Ellie has got something prepared just for you.”

Tim’s features were still hesitant, but he no longer seemed reluctant. That was a start, at least. “Okay.”

An energy of pure excitement streamed through her body at his consent. “It’s going to be fun, I promise.” Ellie jutted her jaw at the prospect of their day together. “Now eat up, and I’ll see if I can get Damian to come with. You know, make a day of it together. As long as he wakes up. He’s been … sleeping in.” She frowned in bewilderment once that suspicion finally hit her.

Tim nodded slowly and smiled barely. “Okay.”

Ellie smirked shrewdly and glanced at him a few more seconds before she chewed on her milk-soaked cornflakes. Absent-mindedly, she hid her astray hair strands behind her left ear and sent Alfred a small grateful smile for his input.

Tim’s meek voice came out of nowhere. “Does it hurt?”

Ellie’s head jumped in the air when the worried undertone touched her senses. Her spoon clung to her lips in shock. Once realization hit her, shamed warmth invaded her insides. Her bruised cheek and forehead were on full display like that, with nothing to hide behind. Ellie cleared her throat and sent Alfred an alarmed gaze who had stilled in surprise. Another wince left her lips when her hand reached for her cup, feeling the movement deep in her sore muscles.

“The dangers of Gotham, Timmy,” she whispered with regret. Ellie tried for some teasing humor, not wanting to taint the boy with any of this. “Trust me, you should see the other guy.” As much as her features tensed from her quirked lips.

“I know what you did yesterday,” Tim whispered back like he was sharing a secret with her. “If Alfred knows it’s only a matter of time until everyone else does.”

A long sigh released from her mouth once she resigned to her fate. Alfred cleared his throat at his intuition being praised like that. Her shoulders slumped in defeat before she sent him a cautious glance. “You have a high intellect, don’t you?”

Tim shrugged, as if he didn’t really care in the end or simply was a humble guy who didn’t want to seem arrogant with that advantage. Her instinct was telling her a bit of both. “Damian used to say my high genius intellect is one of the reasons why I was chosen as the perfect candidate for this family.”

Ellie’s eyebrows rose in the air and a frown formed on her forehead. “I don’t know if that’s supposed to be a compliment,” she muttered slowly.

Alfred leaned forward and lowered his voice in concern. “Master Bruce chose to be your adoptive father because he wanted to take care of you after what happened to the Drakes.”

Ellie’s eyes swerved over to Alfred in a questioning glance, who subtly shook his head not to delve deeper yet. She decided to heed his cue, especially after Tim’s desolate shrug broke Ellie’s heart.

“If you say so.”

Deep affection was heard in the butler’s low timbre. “Master Bruce couldn’t be prouder to have a young man such as you as a son. You are everything he strives for Gotham—to aspire for a city filled with hope. A new beginning.”

As though he was encouraged by those words, Tim slowly lifted his head and let warmth exude from those shining green-golden eyes. Being rendered speechless wasn’t something Ellie would have associated with the likes of him.

A serene smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “Sounds like that ‘unofficial’ speech Bruce used to give me for the reconstruction of Gotham Zoo.” She lowered her fingers once she had recalled that off-the-cuff keynote that was all Bruce.

The corners of Alfred’s eyes drew familiar wrinkles while he huffed with laughter. It didn’t take long before he was joined by Tim’s light chuckles. “I’m not going to sue Master Wayne for plagiarism, don’t you worry.”

“Alfred, can I continue eating my breakfast in front of the TV?” Tim asked politely with wide curious eyes.

Alfred nodded earnestly. “Proceed, Master Tim.”

Sliding off his chair, Tim carried his plate over to the living room that housed the TV. A kids show echoed in the background from around the corner where Alfred and Ellie had a clear view of Tim eating his meal.

Her eyes were carefully riveted on Tim while she fixated her attention on what Alfred confessed. “Something I need to know about, Alfred?”

Alfred took in a regretful breath, whispering barely audibly, “How much did Master Bruce tell you about Tim’s family?”

Ellie nervously licked her lips at Alfred’s phrasing of words. “I’m really starting to feel some anxiety every time someone starts a sentence like that around here.” She pondered long and hard before the memory of Bruce sharing his secret of having several adopted children entered her mind. Ellie frowned deeply once the mention of Tim came forth.

“Both of his parents died when he was still a child,” Ellie mumbled under her breath almost with a stunned impact.

Alfred scratched his chin in contemplation. “Master Tim’s parents were one of the most influential people of Gotham before they were kidnapped in the Caribbean. Jack and Janet Drake were poisoned. Master Wayne tried to save them as Batman, but he was already too late. He found Mrs. Drake dead upon his arrival, while Timothy’s father was on life support. He died one week later. Tim was about six years old when Bruce decided to take him in as a beloved son.”

All of a sudden, her chin felt too heavy when she supported it in the palm of her hand, as she, like always, felt her heart suffering for Tim. “Did Bruce know them before their death?”

“Barely. Master Bruce just wanted to help since no one was benevolent enough to take in a young orphan who was too withdrawn for their liking. It was difficult for Tim to adapt to this new life.”

Out of nowhere, a fond smile appeared. “As much as Jason at the time wasn’t interested in caring for others, he took him in. Looked after him like a big brother. They both looked after each other. And then … Jason was torn from us.” Alfred took in a ragged breath as he paused in reflection. “You can imagine how much this can take a toll on someone who lost everyone in his life already.”

Humming under her breath, Ellie could feel a morose sensation well up inside her.

Almost like Alfred wanted to shake off the mood taking over, his voice sounded hopeful. “I do hope the three of you have a lovely day together.”

Ellie still felt grateful for the vote of confidence despite feeling drained from the conversation already—and she didn’t even have her therapy session yet. “Thanks, Alfred.”

“How’s the arm feeling?” Ellie swung the small shopping basket in her left hand while her head was tilted towards Damian whose arm was twitching at his waist. Almost like it impatiently wanted to spring out of its splint.

Damian kept his gaze averted from her and instead looked to the dotted floor of the grocery store. He shrugged his shoulders carelessly. Damian was walking beside her on her right side while Tim went ahead in the aisle with peaked curiosity.

It was kind of adorable how the young boy was inspecting the products on the higher shelves on his tiptoes.

“It’s alright, I guess,” Damian mumbled, barely even moving his lips when he spoke.

Trying for a different approach, Ellie bowed her head in the hopes of him finally looking at her. “You know, I’ve never had a broken arm, but I imagine it must be pretty uncomfortable in there.”

“It could be worse.”

Someone was behaving utterly strange.

“Who are you? Huh, someone’s not pessimistic for a change, who’d have thought?” Ellie stated in wonder.

Simultaneously, Damian rolled his eyes and sighed deeply. “So, what are we here for?” That reaction was at least something.

Ellie’s eyes caught Tim standing off at a distance. “Tim, don’t wander off,” she called out towards him and waved him over. Not soon after that he was standing next to her again when Ellie stopped in front of the baking section. “So, it’s the weekend and I thought it’d be nice to do some baking. Not to mention how this guy,” her thumb pointed at Damian before she continued, “needs some cheering up.”

“I don’t,” Damian grumbled under his breath.

“It’s like I told you, cookies can make you feel better. That still applies to any baked goods whatsoever. Let’s just help me out in the kitchen, okay? Let me do something nice for you for a change, Damian.”

Frowning in bewilderment, he merely kept quiet when Ellie continued, “You can still help to a certain degree. So, why don’t you guys tell me what you want in your cupcakes, since that’s what we’re making together, and we’ll make some magic happen today?”

Tim bit his lip and gazed at her pleadingly with his head tilted back. “Anything?”

“Well, we need baking decor, don’t we? Both of you have a say in it. I need to buy muffin forms anyway. You tell me which flavor you want and each of you picks one packet of sprinkles, and we’ll do a half and half. Deal?”

Nibbling on his thumb in deep consideration, Tim confessed in a whisper, “I like blueberries,” as he anxiously eyed the collection in front of them.

“Lemon,” Damian instantly interjected and glared fiercely at his brother for daring to gain the upper hand against him.

“Easy, Dami,” Ellie soothed with a humming quality. She barely noticed his eyes looking directly at her. “Why don’t we just do both? More variety for everyone involved. Now, let’s just pick some sweet treats.”

It was interesting to see those two boys working together—to a certain degree at least—as they carried their shopping bags towards the trunk of Ellie’s car. When Damian wasn’t trying to one-up his brother.

Baking with them actually felt like some sort of group project. Tim was the perfect partner and taste taster while Damian was diligently pressing the juice out of the lemon.

“Here, let me hold this for you,” Ellie offered, so Damian could focus all his attention on the yellow fruit while she braced the plastic against the kitchen island.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, barely audible under his breath.

Almost in shock, Ellie’s head twisted around. There were still miracles happening in this world, she thought.

Damian didn’t let that deter him when his razor-sharp gaze focused on the juice squeezing out of the flesh.

Astonishment lit up her features when Ellie’s brows lifted high on her forehead. “Oh wow, I forgot how perfectionist you took everything, Damian.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he grumbled before he was finally done and jumped down from his stool.

“Okay, you can wash your hands now.”

Damian didn’t even make a fuss when he wandered behind her towards the sink. Ellie’s gaze studied Tim’s craftsmanship when he used two teaspoons to place the batter into the paper forms.

“Remember, only half of it. It’s going to double in size before you know it.” To illustrate her point, Ellie shaped her hands into an explosion, sound effects included.

Tim nodded his head in agreement as small blue lumps were visible in the yummy batter.

“Done,” he surmised happily.

“Wonderful. Great work, guys.” Ellie lifted her hand and patiently waited for Tim to give her a hesitant high-five.

Damian started stirring his lemon mixture with powdered sugar when he mumbled, “I already started with the topping.”

Ellie sent him a reproachful glare. “Hush, you. This is not a competition. This is Tim’s first time and I’m so proud of you.” She leaned down to face him at eye-level before her gaze met Damian’s. “Both of you.” Excitedly, Ellie clapped her hands. “Now we can get started.”

If Damian was a perfectionist before, Ellie had no idea how to describe this phase he was in now. Both boys had their own batch of finished cupcakes to take care of while they sprinkled their colorful treats on top of their thick coating. Ellie silently observed Damian’s meticulous execution while footsteps inched closer. Her hands were still on her hips when she turned her head and met the blue eyes of Dick lighting up once he discovered what the boys were doing in the kitchen.

“Oh sweet, cupcakes. That’s just what I needed after that debriefing.”

“Anything important happening?”

“Not really, but we’ll keep you updated tonight.”

Ellie nodded and tilted her head in sympathy when something else caught her attention. “You still need to wait about thirty minutes though until it sets.”

A tormented groan left Dick’s mouth. He slung his arm over her shoulder, squeezing her briefly. “The way you keep torturing me, Ellie.” Dick’s upper body leaned forward to watch Tim and Damian silently decorate.

He pursed his lips. “Huh, who knew that you boys had some hidden talent?”

Ellie raised an eyebrow. “Really? Tim’s a natural here. Damian’s just his microscopic self, pursuing his dream of being a pastry chef.”

Almost like was spurned by that incentive, Damian grumbled, “Done.”

Tim’s quiet whisper followed soon after. “Yep, same here.”

Ellie’s mouth opened in fascination. She touched Tim’s and Damian’s shoulder blades in deep admiration while she was inspecting their colorful cupcakes. “They’re like works of art. So proud of you, boys.”

Looking up at Ellie, Tim’s green eyes were glowing with softness. Dick’s hum rumbled in his chest before his breath hit the side of her head, and whispered, “Good job by the way.”

For some reason, it felt like there could be some other meaning to his words. That Dick didn’t exactly mean her spending time with the kids.

As soon as Dick’s stomach started growling menacingly, Ellie decided it was time for some afternoon buffet with coffee and dessert treats. She joined Dick’s action by sipping on her coffee in the kitchen, with Tim and Damian flanked at her side.

Ellie watched the young boys try their cupcakes. “And what’s the verdict?”

Tim was still munching on his small blueberry cupcake before he nodded with a mumbled, “’s great.”

Damian’s legs were rocking back on forth when he nodded without words in agreement.

Ellie turned her head at the sound of someone rubbing their hands together. “Coffee and cakes?” Alfred’s voice said from afar. Bruce wasn’t that far behind from the butler when the older man’s eyes were glowing with anticipation. “Miss Ellie, you could have told us there was food waiting for us.”

Ellie shrugged her shoulders teasingly. “It’s like you said, it was just waiting for you in the meantime.”

Dick took a long gulp from his black coffee. As soon as his father was within reach, he nudged his cup towards his younger brother, and spoke, “Bruce, why don’t you ask the boys who made these little treats?”

He stopped in front of the kitchen island and oversaw the desserts for the taking. A confused frown made itself known when he faced Tim and Damian with a small hum. “Did you guys make this?” Bruce asked with a half-surprised tone. He poured himself a cup of black coffee before he sat down next to Ellie around the corner.

The quiet and apprehensive nods of Tim and Damian followed his question. Bruce’s head turned until he was facing Ellie again as an expression of curiosity took over.

“And? How did they make themselves?”

A smile formed on Ellie’s lips at that. “Like I told Dick, both were perfect. For his first time, Tim was actually pretty good in the kitchen. And despite a broken arm, Damian baked like he did everything else, with a scrutinizing and precise eye.”

Bruce pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows in astonished pride. Alfred tilted his head with a smirk as he held his cup in the air. “Affirming words of judgment. It looks like I know now who to turn to who can help me out in the kitchen for future references.”

Smirking with delight, Ellie hummed when she took a bite from the creamy cupcake. It felt utterly comfortable just sitting together, eating and talking.

Dick tried out one of Damian’s treats. “We should do this more often. More rituals like these could be nice, you know?”

Smiling softly, the notion sent a warm sensation to her stomach. Alfred appreciated Dick’s shared opinion. “I do like the way you think, Master Dick.”

Ellie’s concern seeped through her pores when she slowly advanced towards where Tim was sitting. “Everything alright, Tim?” She found the dark-haired boy resting on the couch in the living room and joined him instead. “You just wandered off like that. Are you good?”

The semblance of a smile etched on the corners of his lips as a shrug carried through his shoulders. Tim thumbed the cupcake wrapper, which was still on the plate on his knee, almost forgotten.

“I just wanted some alone time.”

Ellie smiled fondly at his confession. “You sound a lot like Bruce or Damian there. You want me to leave you alone right now? It’s okay if you say yes. I won’t take it personally. Trust me, I get the feeling of just … needing some solitude.”

Again, Tim shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Deciding that she was still welcome, Ellie leaned back. “Just let me know. I’m here if you want to talk, or if you want me to just listen. No judgment here, Timmy.”

At last, Tim silently peeled back the wrapper and tore off a chunk of the bottom half of the dish. Pensively, he chewed on the fluffy food. “Today was fun.”

Ellie felt touched when she sent him an appreciative smile. “My pleasure. I wanted to do something nice for you, guys. I realized it’s important not to neglect the little things in life.”

“I’m grateful,” Tim assured her before he swallowed. “Today just made me remember something else.”

Ellie tilted her head in apprehension once his words reached her. “Such as? If you don’t mind me asking?”

Tim paused in thought. “When my parents died…” Nervously, Ellie glanced at him sideways with bated breath while her heart was thudding in her chest.

“I was at home with the housekeeper to look after me. She had just made me crumble cake when the news of my parents’ kidnapping hit. The thing is I’ve always been alone.” His shoulders twitched before he continued, “Over time you get used to it. Honestly, I’m starting to forget how my mom’s and my dad’s faces look like.”

Tim’s breath hitched the more he talked about his murdered family, forcing Ellie to frown with sympathy. Reluctantly, he admitted, “That … crumble cake, I have a more distinct memory of that pastry than my own family.”

Thickness lodged into her throat as soon as his personal tragedy came to light. “I wish I knew what to tell you that would make you feel better, that would take that weight off your shoulders. All you can do is honor their memory as best as you can.”

A dejected humming noise reverberated from his pressed lips. Ellie swallowed thickly when she pushed through her own memories of losing her family. “You know, I was a child too when I lost my parents,” she whispered with a raspy voice, inching closer for some privacy.

There was a part of her that believed reliving her own traumatic past could help Tim come to terms with his own. It tended to be something truly cathartic to share one’s tragedy with someone who could relate.

Tim anxiously gazed at her through his eyelashes. “How did you lose them?”

Ellie took long, jittery breaths now as a strained smile drew on her lips. “When I was about seven, my mom shot my dad. She was sent to Arkham and my dad to prison for illegal hacking activities.”

Her upper body moved with every shaking breath. “The world is a cruel place, Tim. And Arkham at the time wasn’t the place it is now. She couldn’t bear this life any longer and my dad … he got killed in a prison riot a few years later. We all are orphans here. We all lost someone in life. But that doesn’t mean we have to endure this life alone.” Tears were shining in her eyes, but at least every breath felt cleansing in her lungs.

“Do you remember what they looked like?” Tim murmured under his breath.

“I don’t remember my mom. Or what she looked like. Only the expression of betrayal on her face. And my father … his eyes were the last thing I can recall as he looked at me through those cracked glasses. It’s not the good kind to remember though.”

The plate made a clanging sound when Tim dropped it on the coffee table in front of him. His eyes were downcast before he mumbled, “I feel guilty for leaving their memory behind like this.”

“I understand why you’re feeling this way. I’m not telling you what you should or shouldn’t do. Only to find the right balance. Just because you want to make new memories doesn’t mean to leave the old ones behind.”

“New memories?” Tim inquired in a subdued manner.

Ellie nodded, waving her hands in her lap. “At your own pace.”

“I’ll try. Can I ask for a favor?”

“Sure. Anything you want, Tim.”

Wide, green eyes were staring up at her pleadingly before he whispered, “Could you hug me, please?”

A kind-hearted, but affected smile played on her lips while she felt herself getting emotional all of a sudden. Her eyes were glistening when she nodded her head. “Gotta warn you though, I keep those hugs at least five seconds long.”

Tim laughed shakily. “That’s okay,” he said before wrapping his small arms around her body. His head hid in her neck while his arms tightened around her.

“Can we do at least ten seconds?” Tim mumbled against her shoulder.

Teary laughter could be heard from her throat. “Whatever you want, Timmy.”

The small smile on her therapist’s face greeted Ellie as soon as she accepted the video call with the push of the green button. “Good afternoon, Ellie. Thanks for being able to manage our appointment like this.”

“It’s okay, I understand. Never expected to experience the day of Blüdhaven in lockdown, not to mention receiving a terror warning.” Just thinking about it felt truly terrifying. Ellie huffed in incredulity as soon as that thought hit her out of nowhere again.

Dr. Foster sighed deeply. “It is what it is. All we can do is adapt. It’s what we’re known for. Did you have any issues with the video application?”

She shook her head in denial before she explained, “No, it’s alright. I’m just glad that we could do our session like this.”

With that, Ellie’s therapist opened her trusted notepad when she replied, “Wonderful. So, let’s start our therapy session. Tell me about the typical day of Elizabeth Rhodes. Walk me through your daily rituals. I’m guessing you’ve gotten used to them by now?”

Ellie nodded, agreeing with her. “The usual, I guess. Breakfast and caffeine. Then I go to work, look at some ones and zeroes. About five or six, I get back home. Maybe some takeout or I heat up some frozen food.” It wasn’t that hard any longer to conceal her nightly rituals in the cave.

“Any special routines you included?”

“I’m making lists as you recommended.” Ellie waved her notebook around in front of her webcam before she placed it back on her desk. “It’s actually quite practical and insightful to keep track of things.”

She licked her lips in thought. “Maybe the fact that I prepare any dinner at all. Sometimes it’s hard putting in the effort.”

“As long as you know your limits. It can’t hurt to try at least.” Dr. Foster’s gaze focused on her again. “But how does it make you feel ‘putting in the extra effort?’” The dark-skinned woman quoted with her fingers.

A tired sigh left Ellie at that question. “It doesn’t feel worth the effort. I mean, I can put it on the list at the end of the day what I’m thankful for, but to me, it’s not as tedious if I just lean back and relax.”

“Understandably,” Dr. Foster uttered with lips pulling upwards. “In that case, why don’t you prepare something over the weekend in bulk and just heat it up? Would that interest you?”

Ellie tilted her head and gave it some contemplation. “Yes, I think I could try that. See how that works over the next few weeks.”

“Wonderful.” The woman in front of her took some notes of their intention before she leaned forward again. “Looks like we already covered my next question. Now we’ve got some goals for the next four weeks. I think it’s great how you’ve embraced that notebook. Those lists in your journal might be useful for many other things. If there’s something else that you could think of, just write that down.”

Dr. Foster looked at something over Ellie’s shoulder. “We’re getting close to the end of our talk. Is there anything else on your mind?”

Ellie gnawed on her lower lip. “That close friend I talked about, Babs, I’ve recently seen her again.”

“The one who was paralyzed after that assaulting incident?” She inquired and as soon as she detected Ellie’s silent nod, continued, “How is she?”

Ellie breathed slowly in and out. “She’s on the road to recovery. It’s been hard for her.”

“And what about you? Her condition and the nature of that attack has been hard for you too.”

Feeling her breathing hitch, Ellie admitted, “It feels like I can finally breathe again.”

“And how about that anger of yours? You still feeling resentful?”

Ellie spoke slowly. “No. If anything, I managed to deal with those issues. After all, they were my own, and misguided in some ways. I see that now.”

“That’s good to hear.” Dr. Foster shared a small smile with her. “I like the process we’ve made so far. Although, we need to cut this short now. If there’s anything on your mind, you know my number. You can message me anytime. Until then, take care.”

A/N: As I was working on Tim's backstory, I realized that his mother was poisoned and his father paralyzed for a time. I kept racking my brain how to kill Jack Drake when I read my prequel and praised the fact that I killed his parents when he was a kid - thank GOD! 🥲

Tagging: @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @ravenmoore14 @alwayshave-faith @ikranfuad @daydreaming-gemini @bluegalaxyprime @liadamerondjarin @steph21369 @andrewswifes-blog @yanna-banana @blackmagicwoman

#steph writes #watchtowerindistress #we are not our demons #batfleck #batfleck x oc #bruce wayne x oc #bruce wayne fic #bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne imagines #batman x oc #bruce wayne #bruce wayne fanfiction #batman imagines #batman imagine #bruce wayne x batmom #batmom x batfam

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francisp0rter · 3 years

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The Grammy Awards are Decadent and Depraved

By Blunted

Before writing anything about the Grammy Awards, it should be duly noted that nobody really gives a shit. Everyone knows that the nominated artists are nowhere near the best the industry has to offer, but at the end of the day (8PM EST, to be specific) we all tune in to watch the big train wreck in the hopes that at least a couple of shining moments will come through.

The whole thing was off to a bleak start when, in an astoundingly bone-headed move, the Grammys decided to relegate the Rap Album of the Year awards to the pre-show, forcing one of the greatest emcees who ever lived to accept his first Grammy nomination in complete silence. The argument in the Grammys favour is that none of the nominees are popular enough to warrant a spot on the main show, but that doesn’t seem to matter so much to the Grammys when they drag out H.E.R, who elicits a collective “who the fuck is that?” anytime she appears on screen.

And even if it’s a case of the nominees not being popular enough, why nominate them in the first place? Freddie Gibbs and Royce Da 5’9 don’t need the Grammys, we already know that they’re two of the best poets this great genre has to offer. And Nas CERTAINLY doesn’t need the Grammys, as he’s gone his whole illustrious career without even receiving one. How are you gonna make him accept his first ever Grammy award off-air like he’s winning Best Classical Compendium or some shit?

For the Grammys to nominate these incredible talents and then stick them in the pre-show is not only an insult but just downright fucking dumb. Letting Nas on the Grammy stage to accept his first ever award would have done a hell of a lot more to remedy the Weeknd boycott situation than having Harvey Mason Jr. come on screen and beg everyone not to be mad at him.

With that being said, the 63rd Grammy Awards were pretty god-damn weird. You could probably chalk the strange vibes up to the lack of a real audience and the battle-of-the-bands style layout the Grammys opted for, but that’s not entirely it. Something else was off, something nearly intangible. After about an hour of this uncanny-valley feeling, I realized where it was coming from: Trevor Noah.

Possibly the least funny person on the entire planet Earth, Trevor Noah bumbled his way through over three hours of jokes that would have bombed even if they were performed at an open mic night in Tacoma, Washington. The only funny thing that left his mouth was,

“Gobble me, swallow me, drip down the side of me. We’re back at the 63rd Grammy Awards,” and it was only funny because it didn’t make any fucking sense.

Worst host of all time aside, the show ranged from pretty good to downright cringe-inducing, with some moments of greatness sprinkled in. Billie Eilish kicked the show off with a sleepy performance of her Record of the Year nominated track “Everything I Wanted,” in which she sang on top of a luxury car submerged in a cloud of smoke. Eilish, as always, left little to be desired and delivered her performance with the precision of a well-trained theatre kid. There’s an inherent starry-eyed quality to Eilish’s music, but her talents make it easy to look past.

Haim’s blistering performance of “The Steps” was stellar. The group’s musicality was on full display as Danielle Haim led the track on drums and vocals, before quietly switching out with her sister Alana to take centre stage, proving once again that the best way to make a splash at the Grammys is simply by playing music and playing it well.

Bruno Mars and Anderson Paak also gave two incredible performances as Silk Sonic. The first was a Soul Train-inspired rendition of their brand new track “Leave the Door Open” that looked like it was equally as fun to perform as it was to watch. Later, the duo took the stage and set the place on fire with a tribute to Little Richard. Anderson’s drumming was the highlight of the performance, and whoever was running the sound seemed to know this too, centring the rhythm section in the most prominent part of the mix.

There were plenty of moments that were good, but not overly special that I’m gonna run through really quick here. Harry Styles came through and did his cool gender-bending thing. I really like “Watermelon Sugar,” I think it’s a perfect pop song, and I think Harry Styles is way too good to have ever been in One Direction. I’m excited for his next album and that’s all I really have to say about him.

Taylor Swift’s performance was excellent, and it was great to see her bring out Aaron Dessner and Jack Antonoff and give them the credit they deserve for helping her expand her sound on her stellar 2020 offerings “Folklore” and “Evermore.”

Meg Thee Stallion, Cardi B, and Dua Lipa banged out some hyper-sexual performances that didn’t really seem to have a point other than being shocking. But the songs are nice and at least Meg can rap.

Oh, and Beyonce broke the record for most Grammys ever. Does anyone really give a shit about that? I thought it would be a bigger deal.

The rap performances left something to be desired, which is an absolute fucking shame considering the emcees they had nominated in the Rap Album of the Year category. DaBaby came out and did his one flow, and then Roddy Ricch joined him, which was nice. Roddy’s solo performance was actually really great. He’s one of the first rappers I’ve seen play an instrument while rapping. Scarface is the only other one to my memory. Maybe Mac Miller, too.

Lil Baby’s performance was, at first, captivating and powerful, but upon further inspection feels kind of weak, especially considering the weird diatribe from neoliberal grifter Tamika Mallory that he placed halfway through the performance. Re-enacting a police killing with paid actors was also a little tasteless in retrospect. Baby rapped his ass off though, and hopefully his performance will show clueless rap fans that trap music isn’t just a genre meant to soundtrack frat parties.

The worst performance of the night belonged to Post Malone, as it so often does. The Texas troglodyte appeared on stage in the worst Blade costume I’ve ever seen to deliver a dead-in-the-water rendition of his abysmally bad single “Hollywood’s Bleeding.” I remember there was a time when Post Malone’s whole thing was being this pop-crossover Bob Dylan type with rap aesthetics. I didn’t like it, but it was infinitely better than whatever weird gothic thing he’s doing now.

All things considered, the Grammys were the Grammys. You can’t really expect too much from them. While the highs were really high, the lows were so unbelievably low that it was almost embarrassing. Before I sign off, I just wanna give another quick “fuck you” to Harvey Mason Jr. You’re the worst, man.

#features

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