#had to endure the pain it's sad girl hours now
blocked. and i hope a cat ignores all your pspspsps
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When they make you cry
pairings: Hawks x Reader, Dabi x Reader, Bakugou x Reader, Aizawa x Reader, Izuku x Reader, Tamaki x Reader
Tamaki, Bakugou and Hawks are in a female!reader perspective, the rest of them are Gender Neutral
warnings: angst to fluff
Hawks will get cocky, laughing in your face when he sees your shocked expression.
Both of you were going at each others throats, spitting insults to one another, just your recent daily routine.
Now Hawks knew you were a tough gal, which in his head made it alright for him to strike a really painful nerve into your chest.
As you remained speechless he turned around, a winning smirk plastered on his lips.
Just as he took a few steps forward, sobs wrecked your body as you hid your face in your hands.
"I d-don't think I can take this anymore Keigo" your broken voice reached his ears.
A pang of guilt pierced his chest once he turned around to face you.
He did this. He made you cry. He completely drained your happiness out. He hurt you.
His teeth dug into his lip, his eyes stinging as tears picked at them.
At that point, he didn't give two shits about who's right and who's wrong, his arms reaching for you and wrapping themselves around your shaking form.
He held you there for a while, listening to your cries that gradually turned into soft sniffles against his chest.
"I-" He opens his mouth but his words remained stuck at his throat.
"I don't want us to end..." you mumbled, your own words throwing you into another sobbing fit.
"We won't end here kid, I've got you...shit...I'm a fucking idiot...of course we won't end sweetheart...c'mon look at me" he raised your chin up gently, looking into your red eyes.
"I'm sorry, fuck I'm sorry...not just for today, for every day before this, I-, God... don't leave kid, p-please"
You stared at his face, tears now streaming down his cheeks as his grip on you tightened.
You swallow the lump in your throat, grabbing his hands in yours.
"Something has to change Keigo...I miss you...we've been distant for months. Sometimes you don't even come home to me, do you know how that feels?"
"I know, I know, I swear... I miss you too. I'll tell you about everything I promise. Let's go home please."
You hesitantly nod, putting your heart on the line for the last time.
And now looking back, you're glad you did.
//quirk: flesh manipulation (the reader can manipulate the molecules in a person's flesh just by touching it, making them useful mid-battle to make the other heroes ready to fight again in a matter of seconds, but also making them a threat to their enemies )
If there was one thing he despised about you, it was your guts.
Hell curse him for falling in love with someone so stubborn.
To live through a relationship with Dabi meant that you had to have though skin. You had to be strong enough to bite your cheeks and endure the issues that people in regular relationships never face.
He enters your home, covered in bruises and cuts, asking for your first aid kit.
You sigh to yourself, your usual nagging and yelling never reaching his ears.
You place the first aid kit onto your bedside table, turning your back to him, tiredly walking out of the room.
"Hey-" his voice calls out to you, quiet and confused.
You close the door behind you, making your way to your couch.
One of these days it'll be the last time he walks into your home, the last time you help him clean his cuts and the last time you hear his voice.
The weight of uncertainty pulls at your chest harder with every passing day.
He chose to continue living like this, he is the one that keeps ruining his own life, it's his ambitions that are making you this miserable.
Once he patches himself up, he sits on your bed for a while. Your silance meaning one thing and one thing only. You finally realized how pointless being with him is, you finally got it through your thick skull that he's nothing special to dwell about.
Time passes by quickly, a few hours already gone yet he's still glued to the same spot, not having the strength to leave your room, too scared to face your rejection once he gets out.
He should be happy for you, you won't be hurting anymore, you'll be able to find someone better.
He slowly twists the knob, taking slow steps through your living room.
You are laying on your couch, tear stains on your face and a tissue crumbled in your hand.
His chest tightenes at the sight. You cried yourself to sleep. He wonders... how many times did you cry over him? How many times would you just lay here as he carelessly roamed the streets?
He should leave...he should spare you the pain he brings. You were the only good thing in his life and by continuing this he'll ruin you, piece by piece.
You showed nothing but kindness to him, you made him realize that some people are worth getting close to, you being a hero also making his resolves shake under his feet.
He stretched his arm out to your cheek, careful not to wake you up.
He left a soft kiss to your temple before leaving your house.
You woke up to a persistent ring of your doorbell.
You felt terrible...your hair was a mess, your nose was all clogged up and your eyes burned from all the crying.
You opened your door with annoyance, mad at whoever decided to burst your sadness bubble.
"Hey doll, I would've let myself in but my hands are kinda busy"
Your boyfriend stood there with a backpack on his shoulder and a carton box in his hands.
"So...do you happen to have a room to spare for a year or two...maybe three?"
You stare in disbelief your hand covering your mouth.
"I know that me being a villain might be a setback but...I got some hair dye? I might even consider letting you fix my jigsaw face."
Your body crashed into his, the box dropping to the ground as you squeezed your arms around him.
Maybe he can make you as happy as you make him.
You knew he was rough around the edges, but you never even imagined that you would be the one his rage would be directed at.
As soon as insults came crashing your way you left the room.
You were just trying to calm him down, placing your hand on his shoulder as you urged him to stop shouting and just let it go.
His rough hands grabbed yours, throwing your hand away like you were a mere fly, his quirk burning your skin.
You tried calling out to him just for him to snap around and scream at you.
Once you reached your dorm tears freely rolled down your cheeks.
You yearned for a normal relationship, longed for some peace and quiet just for a week or two.
Yet you just couldn't let the blonde go, always hoping for some miracle to come your way and take ahold of his ego.
It's around 2 am and he can't fall asleep for the hell of it.
You're not picking up his calls nor answering his texts and you've been inactive on social media for hours.
Kirishima has been urging him to go to your dorm for two hours already, spamming him massages about him not being manly enough to win you back.
It's not like he doesn't want to, he just has no idea how to. Should he get you something? Get you some food and flowers? Where the fuck can he find all these things at 2 am? Isn't that how people in movies apologize or something...
He hates when you're mad at him, he is scared shitless of actually scaring you off and pushing you away.
A knock at your door snaps you out of your thoughts and a small flame of hope warms your heart for a split second as you make your way to your door.
He's holding a gray hoodie and a pair of bento boxes.
"That's not gonna fix it Katsuki."
"I know shitty woman you didn't even give me a chance to speak!"
You're sure that that's the first time Bakugou said the word "sorry" in his whole life.
The way it rolled off his tongue was shaky but somewhat determined, his hand grabbing ahold of yours gently.
Guilt was evident on his face as he stroked the bandages covering your hands.
"It's not that bad Katsu, and I understand that it was an accident." you mumbled trying to pull from his grip so he can focus on something else.
He grabbed ahold of your wrists, bringing your palms to his lips.
"I'll work on it, I promise. It'll never happen again. I mean it." you just give a soft nod, leading him to the table.
"Good. Now let's eat, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" you cheered, opening the bentos and stuffing your mouth with rice.
"Y/N...it's 4 am."
"Exactly, now eat, you're not gonna let me eat all of this by myself?!"
For this man, it was close to impossible to make his s/o cry.
He cherishes the relationship he has with you, making you feel special every single day at a time.
So when he sees you crying, he's confused and alarmed.
He reaches for you, trying his best to give you the comfort he thinks you need.
When you push his hands away and scream at him...Oh boy...
Did he do something? Did he forget your anniversary? Your birthday? Did he eat your snack from the fridge??
You're pulling at the strands of your hair, your head buried into your knees as you sob.
He looks around, eyes widening when he sees a photo of himself and some girl kissing on the screen of your phone.
He wasn't there? He has proof! He was in a meeting! All of his colleagues could confirm that, he just needs you to listen! Please listen to him.
He's talking...blabbering...begging for you to just look at him.
As soon as you look up for a split second, he's hugging you, smothering your face in kisses as you weakly try to push him away.
Finally he leans his forehead against yours, letting out a long sigh of relief when he realizes that you're not crying anymore.
"Please Shouta, please, if you even have any respect for me, don't lie to me." you mumble out coldly, turning your head from him.
"Y/N, I would never, ever do that to you! Never! I love you so much, please, you have to know that, you do know that!"
You're too stubborn, but he calls all of his colleges one by one, putting them on speaker for you, asking about the time of the meeting or details of the meeting and they all have the same answer.
So now, your throat is dry and there's a lump in your throat, guilt eating at you as you try to apologize.
He couldn't give two shits about any of that, all he has to know is that you're okay and that you're still his.
He's not letting you go for the rest of the day, you're wrapped under the blankets with him as he makes sure you never believe the bullshit you see online.
"Sweetheart if I ever cheat on you, that's the day I cut my own dick off and bleed to death."
It makes you giggle and then laugh hysterically and he's just looking at you with the biggest heart eyes 🥺
Izuku would never do anything to make you cry.
He pays attention to every single detail in your relationship and he especially pays attention to your feelings.
What he is really bad at, is taking care of himself.
He doesn't take in consideration how you feel when he comes home all stitched up and tired, or how he stays up late to train and push himself further than his body can take.
However one day, he is exhausted from his training and he barely has any strength left. His phone rings and he is rushing out the door, already panting.
You don't reach him in time to stop him, so here you are, hours later next to his hospital bed.
The villain wasn't too powerful, but his state caused him to pass out in the middle of the bettle field.
As soon as he wakes up, you're yelling at him, but at the same time sobbing against his chest.
"I can't just stand here and watch you hurt yourself Zuku... I can't, I can't, I can't....O-one of these days you're just gonna slip away from my hands, I can't. Please" You're grip on him softens as you loose the strength in your hands.
His arms wrap themselves around you, trying his best not to flinch as you rub against his bandages.
His eyes are watering, realization dawning on him as he holds your tired body against him.
You're right...He sees the state of himself after a lowlife villain with a pathetic quirk sent him into the hospital. He doesn't even want to think about what would've happened if there was someone much stronger out there.
"Hey Y/N...I-...I might take a week off, to rest yeah? Does that sound good?"
You nod, wiping away the tears as you sniffle.
"And you won't be training at night anymore. And you won't be staying up late!" you scold as he rubs your cheeks.
"I won't. I promise." he places a kiss at your temple, pulling you onto the hospital bed next to him.
"Let's sleep for a bit yeah? I might owe you a few hours..."
You're crying, he's crying.
He's down on one knee and he's stuttering, his hands shaking as he hears you cry out a happy "Yes".
He barely gets the ring on your finger, burying his head into your neck as soon as he gets to his feet.
You always thought that he was going to propose to you at home, maybe some homecooked dinner with roses and candles. You didn't mind that option either.
You were surprised that he even suggested a walk in the park.
I mean, it was a really small park with little to no people in the area but it was beautiful nonetheless.
You're all giddy and happy as he takes your hand in his, his eyes always glancing at the ring on your finger.
Once you spot an ice cream stand you leap in happiness, rushing to get ice cream for the both of you.
The lady selling it smiles brightly at you.
"Is that the lucky guy?" you nod grabbing your icecream as Tamaki hides behind you.
"Good job sweetheart, you're making this lady very happy, I can feel it in my old bones" you laugh at her remark as you nudge Tamaki forward.
She hands him his ice cream and winks at him.
He's blushing and thanking the lady before running off to an empty bench.
”He’s a lil’ shy but he's got the spirit” you say to the lady as you rush off to get him.
You take the time to really study the ring, the beautiful blue crystal shining in the sun.
”I...I hope you l-like it...Nejire helped me out. Uhm I probably shouldn't have said that...S-she-"
"I like it Tama...I love it actually" you place a gentle kiss just at the corner of his lips, his hands grabbing your cheeks and kissing you deeply in return.
His cheeks are warm and his lips are slow against yours but you melt against him, letting him place you in his lap.
"Oh my God, I have a fiancé, oh my God, I have to call Mirio and tell him you said yes. You said yes, right?"
You laugh as you shake your head at him, playing with his hair as he fumbles with his phone.
All of the pictures are from the original anime/manga (please do correct me if I'm wrong in the comments below)
The Tamaki one has no angst in it because I had to heal from all of the emotional rollercosters.
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Hii can you write like a Chris Evans x reader like the reader and chris are dating for a year and their family and friends only knew that their dating so their dating secretly and that means chris have to have a fake gf and at first the reader is okay with it but every time chris go home having to smell like the girl’s perfume and chris having a lipstick on his cheeks the reader is kinda hurt abt it and when she saw all the paparazzi pictures of chris and the girl she wish that chris and her can do that too but their secretly dating so she cant do much abt it and chris and the reader had a fight bc the reader decided to talk to chris abt it but chris is in a bad mood so now the reader opens up to chris that she wishes that she and chris can do all of that too and she’s tired of seeing chris with a lipstick on his face and smelling like the girl’s perfume and you can do whatever you want at the end but its happy ending. Thank you! <33
pairing: Chris Evans x DC!Actress!Reader
warnings: angst, fluff
a/n: hope you enjoy!
at first you were fine with the whole "Chris having a fake girlfriend" thing, and so was he. his exact words to you were "if Sebastian can do it, than so can I." that sentence made you burst into laughter.
you weren't laughing so much anymore. it was honestly exhausting mentally, to have Chris come home after an event smelling like another girls perfume, but you knew that this had to happen. according to Marvel, because you were a DC actor, you and Chris had two options.
1) break up, or
2) hide the relationship, and Chris will be provided with a fake girlfriend.
it was a no brainer for Chris. he took the fake girlfriend, and told you that it would only last until the premiere of Endgame, when you would walk the red carpet with him.
but of course, Marvel told him no, and you weren't even allowed to go to the premiere by yourself to support him, which was the end of the line with your frustration about this whole thing.
you were curled up on the couch, Dodgers warm body covering your feet, a warm blanket cocooning around you. you were watching friends on the tv, trying to keep your tears of frustration and disappointment at bay. you wouldn't have been as angry if Marvel had decided this before the premiere day, but finding out you wouldn't be able to go to an event with your boyfriend after you'd booked your hair and nail appointment and picked out a dress, just hours before the premiere, was a whole other level.
you went to the hair and nail appointment, and it soothed you a little, but that was only until you remembered why you booked them in the first place, then you were sad again.
you were so engrossed in Ross and Rachel fighting about whether or not they were on a break, that you didn't hear Chris walking through the door.
he called your name, but you didn't hear, too focused on the show playing. you only noticed him when he crouched down in front of you, and gave you a loving smile. you could smell the faint scent of flowery perfume floating from his clothes, and you couldn't stop the tears any more.
as the tears rolled down your cheeks like a river flowing to the lake or ocean, Chris sighed in sadness.
"I hate this," he said. he placed his hands underneath your armpits and lifted you off the couch and into his lap. your legs curled underneath you, and your hands fisted in his shirt, you cried out all the sorrow and disappointment you were feeling as he held you close.
he always allowed you to express your feelings before he attempted to fix anything. sometimes that was holding you while you cried your little heart out and holding back his own tears at your pain, other times it was enduring your yelling and screaming until you couldn't breathe, at which point the crying would begin, and you'd collapse into a healing, both mental and physical, nap.
those naps were the time for Chris to sit and watch you sleep. he'd cry out his own tears, so you wouldn't have to see them. he was never mad at you for yelling. he never thought you were toxic. you were just expressing your feelings, and yeah, sometimes Chris can be a complete and utter dick to you without even meaning to, and it was only fair that you let him know.
eventually your cries faded into whimpers that melted into sniffles that tugged on Chris's heart strings, and made him want children with you just so he could hear those cute sniffles all the time. not that he'd deliberately make his children cry, but if they were anything like him, he'd hear them daily.
he ran his hands through your freshly styled hair and admired the work you had gotten done. "I love what you've done with your hair." he commented, feeling the strand between his fingers.
his hands trailed down to yours, and picked one of them up, inspecting the manicure. his finger brushed over the paint and the jewels on the acrylic that sat atop your nail. "these look amazing. gorgeous, just like you. I'm glad you still got to pamper yourself despite everything that happened." you hummed in response, snuggling closer to his chest.
"did it make you feel any better?"
you shrugged. "a little." Chris nodded, and tilted your head up.
"I know this was hard for you. I know how much you wanted to be there for me tonight, and it sucks that you weren't. but, its over now." he whispered into your hair. he picked up a gift bag that you hadn't seen before and placed it in your lap. "Marley and I are insanely grateful that this is over too, and she got you a gift to say thank you."
you adjusted yourself so your back was pressed to his chest, and opened the bag. you saw a small box, with two envelopes on top, one was quite thick and had Chris's messy scrawl on it, the other with the more feminine handwriting that you knew belonged to Marley, Chris's fake girlfriend.
when you first met Marley, you were a little scared. she was insanely beautiful, and you were scared that Chris was going to fall for her and leave you, but those thoughts quickly dissipated when she invited you and Chris out on a double date with her and her wife Alexa.
you placed Chris's envelope aside in favour of Marleys. you opened it and pulled out a letter.
thank you for allowing me to be Chris's fake girlfriend. I know it wasn't easy for any of us, but it was especially hard on you, but I wanted to thank you for not hating my guts like I was expecting you to.
I hope that by our contract ending we can be friends, more so than we were before.
I hope you like this thank you gift. Alexa had to help me because im terrible at picking gifts.
- Marley <3'
you smiled at the letter, and placed it aside before picking up the box. it was a white pandora box, and inside was a silver necklace with a pendant of your favourite flower.
"it's beautiful," you whispered, your finger dragging over the dips and ridges in the pendant. Chris pushed some hair away from your face and kissed your temple.
"just like you." he whispered before placing the box aside and handing you his envelope. you looked at him quizzically, but he smirked, so you opened it.
your mouth dropped open as you pulled out a wad of cash attached to a piece of paper. "w-what?" you stuttered. Chris chuckled.
"when Marley and I's contract began, I put away a little bit of money a month. sometimes it was as much as a hundred, other times it was 10 or 15 depending on the monthly expenses, especially those months that I was travelling between New York and LA when you were filming Justice League. I wanted something to give to you to make up for putting you through this, even though neither of us wanted this. Marley was getting paid, and you deserved to as well. I don't know exactly how much is in that little bundle, but its yours. you can do what ever you want with it." he said, his thumb running over the back of yours that was holding the wad of money.
you grabbed the piece of paper and opened it.
my angel, my love. I'm so proud to call you mine.
no matter what this world throws at you, you always persevere. you're strong in situations that would cause me to crumble, your strength is like none i've ever witnessed.
you make me so proud with each passing day. despite hating out current predicament, you've never once complained. never once been outwardly and vocally disappointed when you're faced with a wall you can't break down, and that, my love, amazes me.
you amaze me to no end, and I plan on showing you just how much you amaze me for the rest of my days.'
you dropped the paper and money on the ground in favour of hugging your boyfriend. "I love you so much!" you exclaimed, and Chris squeezed you back. "I love you too."
later that night, as you laid in Chris's arms sleeping, Chris admired your nails once more. an idea popped into his head, and he leaned over to his bedside table drawer. he fished out a pair of socks and pulled out the box from inside.
he pulled the small object out of the box, and picked up your left hand.
he was right. your nails did look more exquisite with an engagement ring.
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Temporary Translucence | Part 4
Summary: After a mission that brings back the ghosts of your former life, you are uncertain about the future. You are struggling to keep the past where it belongs and desperately hope for a new beginning. Ultimately, you come to question the very fabric of who you are.
Warnings: Anxiety / Bullying / Descriptive Injury / Lack of Self-Confidence / PTSD Themes / Panic Attacks
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Temporary Translucence Masterlist
Settled amongst pillows and sheets, you give in to the unsettling stillness of your bedroom. Your tossing and turning ended hours ago but your body still vibrates with echoes of your mission. The heaviness of your extremities is only outweighed by the anxiety plaguing your mind.
Within the darkness behind your eyelids, you find the doorway to your past and present transgressions; ones you cannot seem to escape no matter how many years have passed, names you’ve taken, or miles you traveled.
Looking left. Looking right. More darkness.
There is no end. Was there ever a beginning? Perhaps at one time.
Your dreams had not always been like this. No aimless wandering. No endless void. The time you spend here, before the waking hour, used to be filled with smiling faces and the fixtures of family life you had never known until that point. The dreams were a loop of your collective memories, the good ones. The ones where you ran through the halls with a pair of smaller feet chasing after you. Your combined laughter bouncing off the perfectly decorated walls as you ducked and weaved through the thicket of unsuspecting maids. Those dreams were a replica of the first home you had ever known; the haven where safety smelled of grapes and fresh rainwater.
Gone are those treasures. Their luster has been worn away, leaving behind an unwanted truth. Fallacies, all of it.
It’s been so long since you have visited the mausoleum of your memories but still, you feel their haunting presence. For as much as you try to separate yourself from them, they are the fabric of who you are today. Too full that grave is, so you tend to a different place.
The next burial plot is waiting, not too far from your consciousness. It is ready to swallow all that will be placed within it.
You’ve given up on trying to claw your way out of despair’s grave. The dirt beneath your nails in the collection of your own anguish.
What if she comes back for me?
What if they get hurt because of me?
What if I can’t save them?
I couldn’t help then.
And I can’t save myself now.
I wasn’t enough.
It’s never enough.
Each new thought is a shovel full of dirt being cast upon you by the reaper himself. Yet even as it becomes hard to breathe, you allow yourself to be buried alive.
It’s better this way.
Not burdening others.
Fully buried with your grief, you find a perverted sense of solace.
It is a pain that is all too familiar and too welcomed by you.
The party is in full swing by the time you exit the elevator. Upbeat music plays in the background, luring you from the confines of your mind. Taking the flute of champagne offered by a passing waiter, your eyes scan the room. Individuals glide about, wrapped in expensive suits and dresses. Heels and shined shoes click against the hardwood flooring. Heads tip back in laughter and conversations, in various languages, meld together into one solid stream of noise.
Steve, Sam, and Bucky stand with a group of military officers. Most are older gentlemen. They come from generations that know all too well that casualties of war are not always the ones left buried in foreign lands or returning home in pine boxes. They seem to be reminiscing, finding comfort in tales that most will never understand.
Your eyes trace their figures, calibrating their posture. Bucky stands rigid but still fidgets. The metal digits of his left-hand twitch, curling and uncurling as he listens. You’ve come to recognize that tick as it happens quite frequently. Although his tenure on the team has been much longer than yours, he still must find himself in uncomfortable situations. A frown hides behind the rim of your glass. You know all too well the feeling of being just at the edge of everything. It’s difficult not to sympathize with the man.
He’s suffering. Still suffering.
You move on, finding Tony and Bruce locked in a heated debate. There’s no telling what they’re discussing. Their mouths move too quickly and surely even if you could hear, you would still be lost. Big brains and big words. Too smart for their own good. Tony’s hands flail, gesturing the enormity of what he is saying. Overly excited that one always is and confident. That’s how you would describe him if anyone were to ask. The other scientist is more cautious, more calculated. Bruce’s shoulders deflate, sinking low as they usually do when certain situations frustrate him. With a shake of his head, he begins a rebuttal with fervor much akin to Tony’s.
The pair make a good team. Fearless curiosity and balanced restraint.
By the bar, Rhodey and Natasha enchant a group of people with a story. Instinctively, your fingers trace the medallion sitting in your pocket. The two are very much like the sun. Beaming, bright, and luring people to look upon them with awe. Even from across the room, the warmth of their combined presence is comforting. There's something else. While it may be easy to miss for most, you can still see the stormy darkness in Nat’s eyes. It’s a glimmer that makes her more human; a vulnerability that you feel connected to. The two of them are endearing and enduring. How you wish you could find those qualities in yourself.
As the party dwindles and guests take their leave, the Avengers migrate towards couches. The laughter and stories continue, becoming more intimate and personal and once again, you feel as if you are encroaching.
“(Y/N)! Where are you going?” A voice calls out as you slink from your secluded corner towards the elevator, “C’mon. There’s enough room for one more.”
Clint. Though not one to make himself the center of attention, he stands out when needed. He is covert and deliberate in most things but there’s underlying humanity in his actions.
Even across the room, he has his hand out to you, again waiting for you to make the next move. The smile he wears is warm, quelling your nervous jitters. Following his initiative, the others call out to you, urging you to join. It’s a change, scary and new but an offer you take.
“Hey. Excuse me,” Tony accusingly points a finger causing you to tense. “That’s not one of the options I sent up.”
“Oh. Well, while the dresses you chose were absolutely beautiful, they weren't necessarily functional.”
“(Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N).” Each sigh of your name is laced with exasperation. “I'll let it slide that you lied when you told us you had nothing nice to wear. I knew you had to have something impressive in that wardrobe of yours.” His hand gestures to the stunning suit you wear. Head to toe, you project poised confidence but underneath it all, you are still a bundle of nerves. "And just for your information, fashion isn’t meant to be functional."
“Well, you never know when I might need to save your ass again, Tony.”
The laughter picks up again with hoots and hollers from the others. Tony stutters before lamenting that Ironman can get out of any situation only if his suit is working properly. The calls for more details come from those that had not been present. And most are on the edge of their seats as Natasha and a somewhat inebriated Tony begin to reenact the takedown scene. It’s only when she flings him over her shoulder and he lets out a high-pitched squeal that you join the others in raucous laughter.
Over the years, you and your desires have been described in many ways. You’ve taken on numerous faces throughout your life for a plethora of causes and yet there are only four words that have rung true through each of your lives. And now, there is one more. It’s the one you have decided upon for yourself. For the first time, you know it to be the most accurate.
Yearning...To stay. To belong. To call this home. To call them family.
Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed. It really helps when you do. Feedback is always appreciated!
Avengers Masterlist • Temporary Translucence Tag List
A/N: I know. I know. This is a more introspective chapter. But I felt this was the right place to go before the next few. Parts 5 & 6 have more interactions and drama. They are fairly long so prepare yourselves. We needed a quiet one before I hit ya with the action.
Parts 5 & 6 will be posted on Friday (4.23.21). They will go up at 6:30pm & 7:00pm.
Tagging the Lovelies: @reborn-rekall @lady-x-red @efferuse @sourpatchspinster @coffeebooksandfandom @slothspaghettiwrites @little-baby-vixen @lovehappyloki @captain-josslett @jessyballet @mikariell95 @brithedemonspawn @broco8 @fangirl-swagg @brownlee-22 @fishlikestuff @disappointmentofthefam @cyncerepoetry1 @username23345 @imbumkyung @queenofspades20 @agustdowney @andreasworlsboring101 @ilovespideyyy @adoreyou976 @vienmiaprendere @abigrumple @hulkswitch @evelynrose @vicmc624 @thatwasnotplanned @americancowgirl19 @mcolbz14 @austynparksandpizza @hufflepuff-in-narnia @supraveng @kawaiicollectivepolice @somerandomweirdgirl @fan-girl-in-denial @coollemonsaresour @criminal-minds-hotch @sununicorn @mrssalvawhore @rhit1 @i-spy-1812 @stumbleonmywords @the-soot-sprite @poppy25stuff @scntiagoperxlta @wequeenoftheravens @sweetpickles3 @angrykitsune01 @iforgotthemelody @iforgotthemelody @cruc1o @vpp2002 @wandas-love @geekandbooknerd @dilaudidwinchester @leniram1890 @lets-not-even-go-there @addy-hufflefriend @tofeartheunknown @mangobangi @remuslupinselbowpatch @sad-biiitch @angelsandsorcery @fandomgeekforever @jay-haisteads @djskfkdkkf @writings-of-a-girl @icrytomuch @sevenmorningstars
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23 days of NCT masterlist.
warnings: tooth-rotting shit, Johnny is a dick at the beggining, inexperienced reader, fem masturbation, it's kinda bad but I hope you enjoy.
taglist: @notbeforelong @curieouscapt @whathamelon @unknown5tar
“I’m going out with my friends tonight, don’t wait up for me.” He commented while slipping his black, leather shoes on.
“Drive carefully .” You answered as you popped a cup of instant ramen inside the microwave.
“Yeah.” You took a deep breath after the door closed behind him. Freedom finally.
You turned on the Tv, setting the volume louder than usual. Johnny didn’t like noise, to be honest, he probably didn’t even like you. He had so many house rules, you couldn’t even breathe without getting scolded by him. Not even three months had passed since your wedding and you already felt like you were in some sort of military camp.
“God, it smells so nice.” You murmured, pulling out the hot cup from the microwave and dumping the content in a bowl.
You ate on the sofa, another thing that Johnny hated, while watching your favorite series, enjoying your time alone. If it wasn’t for your parents, you would’ve never agreed to marry him, but they sounded so excited with the idea that you couldn’t refuse them, it wasn’t like you had a line of men waiting for you anyways.
You decided to have a little dessert, a mug cake, to be specific. You decided to make one for Johnny as well, the memories of you as kids eating all sorts of candies coming back to you as to mixed all the ingredients together. What happened to him during high school? All you knew was that he studied abroad and came back like a completely different man. He wasn’t your Johnny anymore. Of course, you were sad at first, but your sadness soon turned into anger as his attitude towards you got worse.
“Get lost.” Or “You’re so annoying.” Were some of the things you’d often hear.
You stopped trying after a semester, and it was quite healing to be honest. But then your parents had to bring him back to your life, and in the worst way possible. Nevertheless, they seemed happy, knowing that someone nice was living with you. Of course, they didn’t know the new Johnny.
After eating up all your food, you washed the dishes and laid down on the couch, your eyelids slowly closing as you drifted away. It wasn’t until a couple of hours later when a pair of arms woke you.
“Huh?” You opened your eyes a bit disoriented.
Johnny held you between his arms, carrying you towards your shared bedroom, which he almost never used.
“Go back to sleep, I got you.” He tucked you in with delicate movements. You could sense alcohol in his breath, but he wasn’t acting drunk at all. “Close your eyes.” He murmured as he felt your gaze over him.
“If alcohol was all it took for you to be nice, I would’ve poured some whiskey on your morning coffee every day.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at your remarks.
“I’ve been a bit rude to you, haven’t I?” He kneeled down in front of the bed, his thumb tracing the shape of your eyebrow. Now you were certain he was drunk. “I’m sorry, I still don’t know how to act around you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Ever since you rejected me-”
“I’m sorry, what?” You frowned.
“You know, the letter I sent you when I was abroad...” He tried helping you remember, things getting clearer for him at your lack of response. “You didn’t get it, did you?” You shook your head. “Shit.”
“So you’ve been an ass to me for a letter I didn’t even get? Way to go, Suh.” Anger started boiling at the bottom of your stomach, sleepiness abandoning your system. “God, I wanna hit you so bad right now.”
“Please, do so.” He felt like a piece of garbage, having treated the girl he loved like his worst enemy for a misunderstanding. “But, hypothetically, if you had gotten that letter...what would’ve been your answer?” He fidgeted with the bedsheets, feeling your legs shift under them.
“I don’t know, what did it say?”
“I’m not gonna tell you what a lame 14 year old wrote to his crush.” He scoffed. “It was just a love confession, quite cheesy if you ask me.”
“If I had gotten that letter...” You cupped his soft cheeks, they were burning, probably because of the drinks he’d had, or maybe because of your touch. “I would’ve begged my parents to let me take a flight to see you, so I could answer to your confession in person.” His heart stopped, the answer he’d longed for so many years was finally about to slip from your mouth. “I did like you, John. But then you abruptly changed, and you hurt me so much during this past years.” Your words sounded unforgiving, and yet, you had the softest look on your moonlit face. “But I’m willing to let that go if you tell me what you’re feeling right now.”
He didn’t hesitate to pull your face closer to his, your noses slightly touching.
“I’m so glad you agreed to marry me, that way I get to spend the rest of my life with the woman I’ve loved for so many years. Only if you want that too, of course.”
“Will rude Johnny be back tomorrow morning?” You asked, your eyebrows knitted together.
“Rude Johnny’s dead.” His sweet smile encouraged you to finally shorten the distance between your lips. It was your very first real kiss as a couple.
Your lips fitted perfectly together, like two puzzle pieces. He was the first to make a move, placing his hand on the back of your neck to pull you closer as he climbed on top of your body. The kiss started getting heated, his tongue freely exploring your mouth as his hands got playful, softly kneading your breast.
The palms of your hands touched his well built pecs, a small gasp escaping your mouth as you realized how strong he really was. He was definitely not the skinny teenager you were in love with.
“What is it, baby?” He smiled, his cheeks turning slightly pink, your wide eyes looking attentively at him.
“Did you eat teenage Johnny or something?” He laughed, the prettiest and most genuine laugh you’d ever heard from him.
“No, but there’s someone else I’m surely gonna eat out tonight.” You smack his chest, a high pitched whine coming out from his mouth. “What was that for?”
“Don’t talk like that...it’s my first time.” He’d already guessed it by the fact that you’d never had a boyfriend or a proper date, but it was still shocking to hear it from your own mouth.
“Then I guess I’ll have to be gentle.” His long fingers started undoing the buttons of his dress shirt right in front of your inexperienced eyes, cockily smirking at the way you’d unconsciously bite your lower lip. “Can I ask something?” You nodded, eyes still glued to his half naked chest. “The day of our wedding...was that your first kiss?” You remembered the lame peck you received as soon as the officiant declared you husband and wife.
“Sadly.” He felt as if a hundred needles were stabbing his lovesick heart.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized, kissing your soft lips over and over again. “I stole your first kiss.”
“Then make up for it.” You raised your hips, your sensitive core meeting with his bulge and stealing a gasp from both of you.
His hungry lips attached to your neck, sucking several purple marks on it as your hands quickly worked through the remaining buttons of his shirt, helping him slide it down his arms. Even with the lack of light in your room, you could see his torso perfectly, the way his biceps would twitch as his hands slipped inside your shirt, thumbs caressing the soft skin of your tummy.
“Johnny.” You moaned, his hands moving upwards to play with your hard nipples.
“Turn on the light on the nightstand, I want to see you.” He murmured beside your ear, kissing the shell of it as you extended your arm to do as he said.
You blinked repeatedly, trying to adjust to the new illumination. Johnny looked even more ethereal under the dim, yellow light.
“Why have you got to be so damn perfect?” Your fingers traced his well-defined abs, mesmerized by the shape of them. While you were distracted drooling over his body, he took the chance to lift your shirt just above your round boobs, moaning at the sight of the two, beautiful mounds. Reality stroke you as you felt your nipples harden from the cold air. “Don’t look at me like that.” You avoided his eyes, your body growing hotter under his intense gaze.
“How do you expect me to look at the woman I love?” You turned to your side, shirt still lifted.
“Stop it.” Johnny loved how shy you’d always been around him, specially whenever he complimented you.
“No.” He pecked your cheek, hands going down to remove your shorts, stopping right before lowering the waistband. “Are you really okay with this?” You nodded, still refusing to look at him.
“What a silly question, of course I am.” Without any further delay, he pulled both of the pieces covering your lower half down. You pressed your legs together, trying to hide your wet center. “Why are you hiding yourself from me, baby?” He mocked, hands caressing your round ass.
“I’ve never been naked in front of anyone.” He was quick to dispose his remaining clothes, wanting to make you feel more comfortable.
“Look at me.” His big hand was holding the side of your head as you turned back to him, trying your best not to look down at his manhood. “Open your legs for me.” As he was the experienced one, you decided to let him take the lead, slowly revealing yourself to him. “Good girl.” His praises only sent electric shocks right into your core.
“Are you gonna put it inside now?” Adorable, Johnny thought, using his finger pads to tease your inner thighs.
“No, I need to prepare you first. Otherwise, it might hurt.” He’d done it thousands of times, but it somehow felt different with you, as if he had to be extra careful to make sure you had the most pleasurable experience, even if it meant having to endure the stinging pain between his legs for a while longer.
He first used his middle finger to run it up and down your slit, satisfied at how wet you were for him. He talked you through every single one of his movements, making sure you were comfortable with everything he was doing.
“Johnny.” You whined, three fingers pumping in and out of your entrance. It was definitely different than when you did it by yourself, his digits reached deeper, delivering a new kind of pleasure. “I need you.”
He hummed, pulling out his fingers to grab the base of his dick. He ran the tip over your slit, your hips slightly bucking at the contact.
“Tell me when it stops hurting.” He was only halfway in when you asked him for a break, already feeling overwhelmingly full. “Don’t worry, take your time.” He said despite feeling the urgent need to move.
It took you a few minutes to recover, letting him bottom out. The pain was bearable after that first break, so you almost immediately asked him to move. Johnny started off slowly, both of his hands beside your head as he rolled his hips against yours.
“Does it feel good?” He didn’t even need a verbal answer, your facial expressions were more than enough to let him know just how good he was making you feel. “I’m not gonna last long.”
“Me neither.” You held onto his biceps, the knot on your tummy becoming tighter as he picked up the pace.
He lowered his face to connect your lips, both of you moaning into each other’s mouth as you reached your high, bare chests touching each other while you tried to slow your heartbeat.
“I wish this would’ve been out wedding night.” He kissed your collarbone, pulling out to plop down beside you. “Again, I’m really sorry.”
“Let it go already, John.” You hugged his naked body against yours, letting his hand play with your hair. “As long as you’re like this from now on, we’ll be alright.”
You didn’t even notice when your eyes started closing again, falling asleep beside your now loving husband. The next morning you panicked as he wasn’t by your side anymore. Had it been a dream?
“Good morning, sunshine.” Johnny suddenly came through the door, a tray with food between his hands. “You must be hungry after last night.” He left it on top of your legs, smiling naturally as if this was your everyday routine.
It was definitely gonna take time to adjust to this Johnny.
“Heart shaped sandwiches? That’s so corny, Suh.” You laughed, staring at your food with sparkly eyes.
“Hey! That took me two hours to make.” He went to the bathroom and returned with a hairbrush. “Your hair’s a mess, let me fix it while you eat.” He sat down behind you, slowly going through your hair as you stuffed your face with food.
“Does this mean I’m not gonna have to add whiskey to your morning coffee?” He chuckled behind you, pressing his lips to the back of your neck.
“That won’t be necessary.” He tied your hair up in a not-so-messy bun, lacing his arms and legs around your waist once he was done. “You look cute on my shirt.” You hadn’t even noticed. Probably he’d cleaned you up and dressed you right after you fell asleep.
“I look cute in everything.”
“Yes you do.” More kisses. “Now hurry up, we’re going out today.”
“I’m taking you out on our very first date.”
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After a fight with Loki, you wear the smallest dress you can to an Avengers press event...
(smut smut smut)
The party was awful.
Stark’s press events often were. It was interesting, how the media had changed over the past eight years. In 2012, you and the rest of the Avengers would only be seen on news stations. Now, it wasn’t out of the ordinary to for your names to be in tabloids next to celebrities like Taylor Swift or Noah Centineo. The team wasn’t just heroes anymore, you were public figures as well.
Hence the formal attire, the flashing cameras, the expensive wine. These events only happened about once a year- they were manageable. Just a pain. Besides, you always had Loki to endure them with.
Except, not tonight. And so, the party was awful, not just boring.
The argument you had with Loki last night carried over into today, and when you were asking him about the event, he gave you no answer. Never in a million years did you think he would ignore during this. The press, the world, had never really forgiven him for New York. He was hated by the general public. It didn’t help it was a well-known fact he was with you: you, the youngest Avenger. You, who had been America’s golden girl until Loki corrupted you.
That was what everyone liked to say. Really, you just got older. And cynical. You couldn’t fight the worst of the worst throughout the universe and remain idealistic.
You and Loki had to stick together for public appearances. The reporters tore you to shreds if you didn’t. And besides that... You didn’t like not being around the god. It was so much better to face things with him. You were together. Even when things were tense, the two of you could always lean on each other. That was the nature of your relationship.
And yet, here you were, halfway through your third glass of champagne, giving Steve a half-hearted smile as he spoke. Every so often, your eyes scanned the large hall, eventually falling on Loki. He avoided your gaze each time.
You wanted to be angry, or bitter. That’s what you felt earlier today when he wouldn’t speak to you. Loki wordlessly dressed in his suit, looked you up and down in your floor length dress, and left your shared room. In a fit of rage, you had dug through your closet for something that would anger him. No, not anger. That wasn’t the right word.
Entice him. Make him protective. Despite your life with him, you were still seen as the innocent Avenger. The normal girl who stumbled into justice. You never wore short or form fitting clothes anywhere there would be cameras. You were modest. That was the role you were pidgeonholed into. Social media, combined with constant interest and exposure, ensured that. In 2020, half of being an Avenger was perception. Every team member was an archetype. Every team member adhered to that. Outwardly, at least.
So when nothing in your closet would accomplish what you wanted, you raided Natasha’s. She helped you pick out something no one would expect you to wear: A silky black body con dress. When you tried it on, it barely came halfway down your thighs. There was little left to the imagination, considering its length and low neckline.
You paired it with heels, and painted your nails Loki’s shade of green. Natasha gathered your hair into a messy bun, leaving your neck exposed. Even Wanda joined in, brushing sparkles over your collarbone. You looked unlike you ever had before.
Honestly, you looked like Natasha did on a daily basis. That brought you some amount of comfort, knowing you wouldn’t be sticking out. But it went without saying you didn’t look like yourself, and no one had ever seen you like this. The press would have a field day.
But it wasn’t them you cared about. The only person you were thinking about was Loki.
And he didn’t even do a double take. When you first walked into the room, his eyes rested on you just a second. Then he turned away.
So you didn’t find yourself angry like you were just a few hours before this. When Loki ignored you, you only felt... Sad. Empty, almost. You had been upset with each other for less than a full day, but you missed him. If there was no animosity between you two, Loki’s hand would be on the small of your back right now, and he would be whispering into your ear. Sharing jokes about everyone at the party, wrapped up in each other.
You fought so little. It was something you weren’t used to.
“Hey.” Steve sticks an elbow into your ribs, pulling you from your thoughts. Next to him, Bucky wears a worried expression. “You okay?”
You sigh. Tipping your head back, you drain the rest of your drink and then nod.
“I’m fine, Steve.” he looks uncertain. “I mean it. I can last one night without him. Just because I’m in a relationship doesn’t mean I’m any less independent.”
“I believe that.” Steve agrees.
“You only believe her because that’s how you are.” Bucky grins at Steve, leaning over to steal a quick kiss from Captain America. Steve smiles, just barely, and holds Bucky’s hand in his own after the dark-haired man pulls back. Your eyes flicker away, but a genuine smile grows on your lips. You love to see your friends happy. They deserve it, your whole team does.
It’s moments like these, when Steve is focused on Bucky and you on Loki, you remember you and Steve used to date. It seems like a completely different time, but it wasn’t even ten years ago.
You were with Steve when Loki attacked New York.
“I’m going for a refill.” you state. Both men look uncertain. You pay it no mind. “Do either of you want anything?”
They shake their heads in response, so you make your way over to the bar. There’s no one there, not even the bartender, which bothers you at first. Then you realize it’s exactly what you need. Just a few minutes alone to clear your head. The bar is in same room as everyone else, so classical music and conversation are all around you. Still, you manage to find solace.
It’s quickly interrupted.
His breath tickles the back of your neck as he speaks. As soon as you’re aware of his presence, his smell envelops you. You shiver, noticing how close he must be to you.
You don’t turn around.
“Hi Loki.” you greet him back, eyes forward. You voice almost shakes, and you exhale, willing yourself to keep cool. Loki was always so calm and collected, something he used as a weapon. Clearly, even against you.
Loki hums, and his fingers softly begin to dance over your bare shoulder.
“You look different,” he states. “With those shoes, you almost reach my height. But darling, you have never looked so small.” Loki’s voice drops on that last word, and a wave of heat flashes through your body. You set your glass down on the counter next to you, worried whatever Loki does next will cause you to drop it.
“Funny.” you say. “I don’t feel small.” You know Loki, know what the word small is code for. “Or weak.”
Loki tuts, and his large hands slide from your shoulders to your hips. Your dress is so short that his pinkies lay on your bare skin.
“No, I suppose you don’t.” Loki leans in, his lips brushing the shell of your ear as he talks. You can’t help it, you tremble, your surroundings beginning to fade away as you focus on the god. “I bet you felt quite powerful, teasing me in this dress. Talking to Steve Rogers.” Suddenly, Loki pulls you into him, and you gasp. His length presses completely against your ass, and you are barely able to bite back a moan.
This is harder than you’ve ever felt him. Your breathing becomes hitched, but Loki’s strong grip keeps you glued to him. His fingers dig into your hips, and you’re sure there will be bruises tomorrow.
“Did you think,” Loki rolls his hips against you, causing a mewl to escape your lips. “...that I would forget your past with Rogers? That it had just, slipped my mind that he is the only man you have ever laid with besides myself?” Loki’s lips connect with the crook of your neck, pressing wet kisses there that are anything but gentle. “Or was that the point? To make me jealous?” Loki’s next words shake you the most. “Can you even count the amount of times I have been inside you?”
Just like that, his hands relax, and you begin to catch your breath.
“Smile.” Loki points, and you notice the groups of reporters making their way to you, cameras flashing. Loki pivots, turning both of you so you face the them. He drops one hand to his side, but the other snakes around your waist. It won’t be obvious in the photos, but his fingers are dangerously close to your heat, filling you to the brim with want.
Just as you manage to get yourself under control, the cameras begin flashing. You force a smile, and when you look at Loki, he’s staring straight ahead, expressionless.
You hated getting photos taken, knowing the headlines they would be paired with. But Loki hates it even more. You were always the victim in the media’s eyes, but Loki had never outgrown the villain. He worked so hard to be good, so hard to change. And for what? No one believed him, save for you and his brother.
Your heart grows heavy, and despite the fight, despite the teasing that left you melting in his arms, you want Loki to know you appreciate him.
You tug on the front of his suit jacket, capturing his attention. Loki looks down at you, confusion in his eyes. You reach forward, placing your hand on the back of his neck and tugging him down so his lips met yours.
It was filthy, the way he kissed you in front of the press. Loki once again pulled you to him, your chests pressed together. He laid his hand on your back, and thank god he did, because it kept you grounded. Your teeth clacked together more than once, and Loki gave you no opportunity to gather yourself before he sucked on your bottom lip. Your were eyes closed, but you still heard as the reporters went wild, cameras snapping as they each tried to get the juiciest shot.
Loki was the one who ended the kiss, tugging away from you. He took your hand in his, waving with the other. In the crowd, you could see Steve standing in shock, arm around Bucky’s waist. Stark was next to them, looking furious.
Loki makes eye contact with you before he briskly walks away, tugging you with him. You have no time to ask where it is he’s taking you before you somehow slip into the kitchen unnoticed.
The kitchen staff stops, and you realize what this must look like to them. Loki, with a hungry look in his eyes, and you, swollen lips and practically half-naked. Jesus, was this where you thought the night was going?
“Get out.” Loki addresses the staff. They share glances, unsure of whether to listen. Loki sighs. “We are two hours into a four hour party. No one ever comes for food, they just want to drink. You are no longer needed. Now, get,” Loki’s irises flash green. “...out.”
They listen then, rushing out of the doors and through the backroom that will lead them from the building. The locks on each door click shut, surely a result of Loki’s magic.
“You.” you squirm under the god’s harsh gaze. “Are a very. Stupid. Girl.” with each step Loki takes forward, you take one backwards, until your back is against the tiled wall. Your heart begins beating fast. You look to Loki’s pants, taking in the tent. Your heart rate accelerates even more.
He places his hands on the wall, one on either side of your face, trapping you with him. Wordlessly, Loki begins sucking on your collarbone, his lips moving down your breasts until they hit the neckline on your dress. Your eyes roll back, and you grip Loki’s hair tight. He rams his knee in between your thighs, and you cry out.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” he rolls his hips, and now that you’re alone, you can feel and experience it to the fullest expense. Your mouth falls open as Loki presses his clothed length against your clothed sex, moaning and letting out a string of curses. “Look at me, darling.” You listen, obeying Loki as he removes his knee.
Loki makes full eye contact as he takes your left breast in his hands, kneading and massaging you as he gauges your reactions. You begin panting, and soon enough, Loki grabs the front of your dress with both hands and rips it, exposing your bare breasts.
You hiss at the sudden cold, but it doesn’t last long as Loki sucks on your nipple, running his calloused thumb other the other. Loki swirls his tongue, and you whimper, arching your back. As the sensation builds inside you, Loki takes a steps back, drinking in the sight of you.
“The media won’t soon forget this. Until now, the worst they had caught us doing was holding hands.” he growls. His lips are redder than usual, and his hair was messy because of your fingers in it. “I can imagine the scolding from Stark.”
“Who cares about Stark? You just ruined Natasha’s dress.” you say, your voice strained. His absence is noticeable, and your body aches for Loki’s touch. He raises an eyebrow.
“Sweet girl, whose fault is that? None of this would ever have happened if you simply dressed appropriately.” the hair on your arms stands up. Loki hums. “I think you should make it up to me. You got us into this mess, did you not?” Loki smirks.
The feeling in your stomach builds up again, lust taking over you. You take off you heels, and sink to your knees. Loki’s pupils dilate as you move closer to him.
You unbuckle his belt, sliding it off and discarding it on the floor next to you. Slowly, you unbutton Loki’s dress pants, your fingers catching on the tip of his underwear as you do.
You want to draw this out, to tease Loki as he teased you. But when you see his hard length, and the damp spot on the cloth holding it, you can’t bring yourself to. Loki is a god, much stronger and faster than you. When you turn to dust, Loki will be as young and full of life as he is now.
But his needs are the same as any other man’s. You’re determined to fulfill them.
You brush your mouth over him, causing Loki’s eyes to close momentarily. When they do, you waste no time exposing him. Loki fingers run through your hair immediately, grasping tightly. You can hear his breathing become just a bit irregular.
You keep your eyes on Loki’s as you lick him, from shaft to head. You lap at the precum there, then slowly take him into your mouth.
Loki lets out a sigh, his lips parting, and you rub circles onto his hipbones with your thumbs. You bring your arms against your chest, pushing your bare breasts up to make them appear bigger. You want to give Loki the best view possible.
It must have worked, because Loki’s hips buck forward. The tip of his cock hits the back of your throat, and you almost gag. Instead, you moan around him. setting a slow pace. Every so often, you flick your tongue across his head, and Loki tugs on your hair when you do.
Loki quivers, and he’s thrown his head back now. His eyes are squeezed shut, his mouth open, and he looks so pleased. Pride washes over you at the thought of you making him feel this way.
You bring your hand up, taking the parts of Loki that your mouth just can’t reach. With the added freedom, you circle his tip, switching up the pressure and surrounding him with your warmth. Carefully, you cup his balls, making sure every part of him is paid attention to.
Loki groaned as you fucked him with your mouth, cheeks hallowed. He begins panting, holding your head even tighter. His shirt has ridden up over his navel, and the sight nearly drives you crazy.
“I’m going to-” you don’t let him finish, picking up the pace until Loki jerks forward, spilling his seed with a curse.
There’s so much, some dribbles out the corners of your mouth before you can swallow it all. Your chests warms at the idea of part of Loki being inside you. You’ve barely leaned back to catch your breath before he’s pulled you up and into a kiss, groaning as he tastes himself on you. Your body becomes slack, relying entirely on Loki’s for support.
“You’re insatiable.” he says into your mouth. He picks you up, and you wrap your legs around his waist. Loki carries you to a nearby counter and sets you atop it.
Your dress is hiked up to your hips now, leaving you covered in just a g-string. As Loki begins to take it off, you stop him.
“Wait.” you say. He stops, giving you a surprisingly soft look. “I just...” you splay your hands across Loki’s strong chest. “I want to see you too.” your voice is quiet.
Loki places his hands over yours as you unbutton his shirt. You slide it down his shoulders, then trace his collarbones and curve of his abs. Under the fluorescent lights of the kitchen, Loki looks even more pale than usual, the sharp contours of his body illuminated and exposed.
You never grow bored of the sight of him.
Now fittingly bare, Loki’s fingers travel up your thigh and stop at your sex. Similar to you, his gives you a few strokes over your thong before he rids you of it in one fluid motion. He angles himself to you, his tip teasing your entrance as he smirks at your noises.
He enters you all at once. You bite down on his shoulder, nails raking down his back. You hold tight to Loki as he sinks into you, moving in a slow and almost tantalizing way. There’s sweat on both of your bodies, and despite your exposed state, you feel yourself heat up.
Loki’s rhythm increases as you adjust to him. His hips move back and forth, and your bodies move in tandem, made for each other. You coo into Loki’s ears, moaning about how good he felt. How breathless he made you, how only he knew how to make you feel this way. No one knew your body like Loki.
The coil inside you finally snaps as Loki hits a pleasure spot deep inside you, and you let out a cry into his shoulder. Loki cums not long after, his body going tense as he rides out the wave of pleasure.
He holds you, rubbing your back as the aftershock rocks through your body. You shake, exhausted and satisfied as you close your eyes for a moment of rest.
Eventually, Loki sets you back down on the floor. He tugs your dress down over your legs, and tucks stray pieces of hair behind your ears. You watch him wordlessly, allowing him to take of you.
After Loki is dressed himself, he gives you the jacket of his suit to wear.
“Oh.” you look down, remembering he ripped your dress. You slip the jacket on, buttoning it to protect the little modesty you have left.
He takes your hand, leading you to the door and back into the party. Before he does, you stop.
“I’m sorry about our fight.” you say. Loki lets out a chuckle, making you feel silly.
“Oh, sweet girl. After a tryst like this, I can assure you all is forgiven.”
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The Best Man
Pairing: Marcus Pike x F!Reader
Warnings: Angst, fluff, a few curse words
Word Count: 2,560
Author’s Note: A fun part about getting older is that all of my friends are married or engaged now, and sometimes weddings bring up some insecurities. A more than a bit of venting going on here. This is my first time writing for the love of my life Marcus Pike and I’m very nervous/excited.
Summary: When your best friend asks you to be the maid of honor at her wedding, you’re convinced that you’ll never find your own happy ending- until you meet a certain groomsman.
Taglist Form - Masterlist
You weren’t proud of the feelings of dread that washed over you as you sat in the parking lot of the wedding venue. You’d been sitting in your car for just a little longer than socially acceptable, given that the rest of the bridal party had likely already gathered inside. You just needed to make it through the next two days, and then you could go back to your apartment, wrap yourself in a blanket, and wallow in your feelings.
You thought you’d be better at ignoring the green-eyed monster that was currently threatening to ruin what was supposed to be a happy occasion.
You’d dutifully sat through dress fittings, gave thoughtful opinions on flower arrangements and centerpieces and invitations, and meticulously planned the bridal shower and bachelorette party. It was your job as the maid of honor to make sure that everything went off without a hitch on your best friend’s special day.
You were happy for her- so happy for her. You’d never seen her like this, and you knew that she and Greg were going to have the perfect lives together. A fairytale wedding, a beautiful home, a loving family with two-point-five kids and a golden retriever in the backyard. A cliche to be sure, but you couldn’t deny the pang of jealousy that Melissa had found her perfect match while you were still decidedly and hopelessly single. You buried those feelings down deep, enduring it all with a smile.
It would happen for you eventually.
Well, you could hope, right?
When you finally made your way inside, Melissa had already worked herself into a panic. The best man, Marcus, was nowhere to be found.
Mellissa had told you a little about Greg’s best man. You knew that he worked for the FBI, that he and Greg had been in a band together in his younger days, and that he was flying in from Washington D.C. for the wedding. His flight was supposed to arrive an hour ago, and then he would take a cab from the airport to the venue.
Clearly, that plan had derailed at some point.
“Greg, we only have the rehearsal space for another twenty minutes-” Melissa reminded him impatiently.
“He’ll be here, Mel. I swear, the one time he’s late for anything…” Greg sighed, shaking his head. He pulled his phone from his pocket, presumably dialing the best man’s number again before holding the phone to his ear. The silence seemed to drag on forever as Mellissa glared daggers at her husband-to-be. “Damn it, Marcus, turn your phone on...”
You tried to deescalate the situation, placing a calming hand on Melissa’s shoulder and quietly reminding her to breathe. With patience wearing thin all around, the last thing you needed was for Bridezilla to make an appearance today.
“Why don’t we just run through the ceremony without him, and he can follow my lead tomorrow. All he really has to do is stand there and hand you the rings, right? Does that sound okay?” You looked back and forth between the couple hopefully, and they nodded in agreement.
“Good. Happy thoughts, you two. It’s going to be the most magical day of your lives, I promise.”
You’d woken the next morning with a tension headache from hell, and it had stuck with you all morning. As calm as you’d made yourself out to be earlier, the case of the missing groomsman was still bothering you.
As you and the other bridesmaids got into your places for the ceremony, you ran through your mental checklist. As long as Greg’s friend was standing up there at the altar when those doors opened, you had everything under control. You’d even managed to wrangle the flower girl, Greg’s rambunctious niece, into a somewhat poised state, promising her an extra piece of cake later if she would just keep it together during the ceremony and pictures.
On the other side of the doors, you heard the music start, and one by one, the bridesmaids shuffled through the doors. When it was finally your turn, you took a deep breath, smoothing your hair to the best of your ability with your bouquet-free hand and hoped for the best as you walked through the doorway. Three thoughts always stuck in your mind during these kinds of things:
One, you really, really hoped that you wouldn’t trip on the hem of the dress and bust ass in front of all of these people, effectively ruining the ceremony and humiliating yourself in the process.
Two, Am I taking too long? I’m taking too long. Oh fuck, all of these people are staring at me wondering why I won’t hurry up, aren’t they? This isn’t my wedding, I should just-
Three, you wonder what it might be like if it was. For a split second, your dress is white, your heart is fluttering, and the man of your dreams is waiting for you at the end of the aisle.
Your eyes go there without really meaning to. Greg is there, of course, sweating bullets. Idly, you wonder if the photographer can fix that in editing. God, you hope so. Poor Melissa.
Then your gaze moves slightly to the right, and the fluttering in your chest returns.
Whatever lingering annoyance you had with the best man and his lack of punctuality was out the window now, his warm brown eyes melting your resolve in an instant. He smiled, showing off the dimples in his cheeks and you felt yourself returning it before your brain had time to interfere. Reaching the altar and planting yourself in your designated space, your nervousness has morphed into something you can’t quite identify, but don’t have much time to linger on. The flower girl is already making her way down the aisle, distributing the petals in the way you hand practiced repeatedly last night, much to your relief, and your heart is still racing long after Melissa walks through the doors.
Time always passes strangely during these types of things. The ceremony begins after you almost miss your cue to take the bouquet from her, and she shoots you a confused look over when it passes into your hands. As the officiant drones on and on about the bigger meaning of what is taking place here today, you find your arms aching as you try to hold both bouquets still. You wonder if you would be sore later from holding your arms this way for so long, and silently hope that everyone remembers not to lock their knees as you all try to remain frozen in place for the better part of an hour.
Finally, the officiant arrives at the portion of the ceremony you’d all been waiting for, the vows. The words of love and commitment that made your insides all warm and fuzzy. The best part of any wedding, hands down. A guaranteed tear-jerker, and, more importantly, the signal that all of this would soon be over.
“I, Greg, take you, Melissa, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part.”
Oh, what you would give to have that... The thought brought a lump to your throat, the tears in your eyes somewhere between happy and sad. Longing. That was the word for it. You forced yourself to look away from the scene, giving yourself a moment of reprieve from your own insecurities.
You didn’t mean to make eye contact with Marcus at that moment, but you found him looking back at you. The space between his eyebrows creased slightly as he noticed the pain in your eyes.
Receptions always seemed to drag, especially when you were unlucky enough not to check the plus-one box on the invitation. The bridal party had gathered themselves at one long table for dinner, but the cake had been cut well over an hour ago and all that was left was smalltalk and dancing. Or, in your case, people-watching.
You sighed, your chin resting on your hand as you watched the couple sway to the music. They looked like they were lost in their own little world, their foreheads touching as they spoke in hushed whispers that no one could hear but them. You couldn’t remember the last time that someone had looked at you like that. Actually, you weren’t sure that anyone had ever looked at you like that.
“They seem happy, huh?” A voice said from beside you. You hadn’t noticed the chair being pulled out or the tall, tuxedo-clad body dropping into it, but you looked over your shoulder to find Marcus beside you. You hadn’t dared to speak a word after the ceremony or during photos, but you had spent a good portion of the evening mesmerized by the soothing sounds of his voice as he gave the speech for his toast. It was low and raspy and warm, like whiskey and honey, and it gave you goosebumps now that it was finally being directed towards you.
“I would hope so,” You agreed quietly. “They did just get married two hours ago.”
“Do you want to dance?” He asked, giving you an inviting, hopeful smile and holding his hand out to you. “No pressure, but I wouldn’t really be fulfilling my best man duties if I didn’t ask the maid of honor to dance.” You nodded gratefully, taking his hand and allowing him to help you up and lead you out towards the dance floor.
“Can I ask you something?” He wondered, his voice quiet at the pair of you swayed to the music. Marcus had, it seemed, become your unofficial dance partner for the evening. He danced like a dork during the fast songs, but the slow songs were where he really shined.
“Go ahead,” You nodded.
“Earlier you seemed kind of… down. Anything you want to talk about?”
“Was it that obvious?” You cringed. You hoped that Melissa and Greg hadn’t picked up on your moodiness.
“I’m pretty good at reading people. Comes with the job, you know? Are you not a big fan of weddings?”
“No, I love weddings,” You shook your head. “Sometimes it just feels like… You know that phrase, ‘always the bridesmaid, never the bride’? Well, that’s the unofficial title of my autobiography.”
A soft snort escaped his nose, and you narrowed your eyes at him playfully.
“Excuse me, are you laughing at my misfortune?”
He raised his hands in surrender, temporarily pausing your dancing, and you immediately felt the absence of the warmth from your waist and hand. “Not at all. I’m sort of in the same boat, actually.”
He took your hand once more, raising it above your head and spinning you before the pair of you returned to your swaying.
“The thing is, I’m happy for Melissa, I really am, but she’s never even wanted to get married. Not until she met Greg. But here she is, getting her fairytale wedding, while I couldn’t even find a date for tonight. I’ve always liked the idea of being married. The whole madly in love, growing old together, building a life with someone kind of thing. I know it’s stupid, but I really, really want it, and sometimes it feels like my life is always just going to be… this,” You explained, gesturing arbitrarily small corner of dance floor the two of you had cut out for yourselves. “Standing on the sidelines, watching everyone else find their soulmate and wondering what the hell is wrong with me.”
“I know the feeling. I once watched Greg give himself a concussion trying to smash a beer can on his head,” Marcus revealed. “Not exactly a catch, but I guess there’s someone out there for everyone.”
You laughed at that, the tension easing itself out of your shoulders. “A concussion?”
“I drove him to the hospital and everything,” He grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling with the sound of your soft giggles. He gave your waist an encouraging squeeze, relieved that the sadness in your eyes had finally disappeared.
“Alright, so we’ve discussed my deepest, darkest secret. Isn’t it your turn to make an embarrassing confession?” You asked teasingly. You were having more fun than you’d expected to have this evening; Marcus’ presence seemed to eclipse everything around you.
He hummed thoughtfully, nodding. “Does it have to be embarrassing?”
“Maybe not embarrassing, but it can’t be boring,” You decided, your curiosity piqued.
“Okay,” He agreed. “I told Greg that I was working a case and that’s why I had to catch a red-eye this morning instead of getting in last night.”
“Mmm, I’ve gotta say. That is a bit boring,”
“Yeah? Well, it was a lie.”
“Oh? You’ve caught my interest. And what is your excuse for the stress-induced headache your tardiness caused me this morning?”
“I almost decided not to show up at all,” He admitted. “Made it all the way to the airport before I turned around and went home. Turned off my phone, completely unpacked… My fiancé left me for another man about a year ago, and I guess I still have some wedding-related issues of my own to work through. But Greg is one of my best friends, so… here I am.”
“Oh, I’m…” You fumbled, not quite prepared for the level of honesty that he’d given you in his answer. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know-”
“No, no,” He shook his head. “It’s okay. I just meant that… I get it. It’s like you said. A life, a home, a family… That’s everything I’ve ever wanted. I thought I did everything right and that clearly wasn’t enough, so I started thinking that maybe there was something wrong with me. But I think the truth is that she just wasn’t the right person.”
“Wow, Marcus… I know there’s an open bar, but I feel like I should buy you a drink after that. That’s horrible…”
He chuckled, shrugging. “I was pretty relieved when I saw I wasn’t the only one here counting down the hours until I could leave and go home.”
“So… do you still think the right person is out there, then?” You asked quietly.
“Oh, definitely,” Marcus said confidently, squeezing the hand that was still clasped in his. His eyes were molten as they looked into yours with an earnestness that set your heart racing. “Maybe they’re just running a little late.”
Melissa glanced over her shoulder to look at the maid of honor and best man, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips as she turned back to her new husband.
“You don’t have your wallet on you, do you?” She asked, the I-told-you-so obvious in her tone.
“You don’t win the bet unless he asks her out,” Greg reminded her.
“Greg, get real. You see the way they’re looking at each other. I want my twenty bucks, babe.”
Greg glanced over at his friend, instantly recognizing Marcus’ lovestruck expression. He had to hand it to Melissa, she’s one of a hell of a matchmaker.
“Double or nothing,” He countered. “I’m guessing…. A wedding within the next… Two years?”
Melissa scoffed. “Bring it on. I’ll rig the bouquet toss and we’ll have that invitation taped to the fridge within the year.”
@theravenreads @marshmallowtraver @computeringturtle @adikaofmandalore @pascalisthepunkest @supernaturalcat7 @maythxthirstbxwithyou
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spencer reid x reader
summary ↠ hours after his release from prison, spencer’s girlfriend is kidnapped. can he pull it together long enough to save her?
category ↠ angst/fluff
warnings/includes ↠ swearing, reference to sexual assault, blood, kidnapping
word count ↠ 5.7k
“People go, but how they left always stays.” — Rupi Kaur
Spencer felt overwhelmed to say the least.
In the last 24 hours, he’d undergone more stress than any human should ever have to endure. Between his release from prison and racing against the clock to save his mother, he was grateful to finally able to take a moment to stop and breathe.
In between the chaos, he hadn’t been able to see one of the people he’d missed the most during his imprisonment; his beloved fiancee, Y/N.
He knew that the team had contacted her to inform her of his release, but there’d been no time for heartfelt reunions when he was released, the safety of his mother being the only thing on his mind. As much as he’d missed his girl, it would have to wait.
As he stood walked through the lobby of his apartment complex, he couldn’t help the small smile on his lips at the anticipation of seeing her. She’d been to visit frequently while he was incarcerated, giving him just that little push to fight, to fight like hell, to come home to her. And now he was there.
As he walked up the flights of stairs, he remembered all the times he’d wished he could reach out to grab her hand when she was sat across from him, with the glass separating them and preventing him from touching her. He remembered the sleepless nights in his cell, on a bed that was cold and hard with a single uncomfortable pillow. He recalled how badly he yearned for her on those nights, craved the warmth of her arms, their bed. He was so eager to finally hold her in his arms, remind her how much he loved her, thank her for sticking with him, for being his lifeline during the hardest months of his life.
Any excitement that he held was diminished as soon as he climbed the final few steps to their floor, his eyes landing on their apartment door.
Their open apartment door.
Spencer’s eyes blew wide, part of him trying to calm himself down, she just forgot to close it behind her, and the other part knowing Y/N was too cautious to make such a silly mistake.
He wasn’t armed, after all he wasn’t planning on having to deal with shit like this for at least a few weeks following his release.
He cautiously made his way into the apartment and was immediately greeted with the obvious signs of a struggle in his living room. The coffee table’s contents had been scattered across the floor, the little table they normally placed cups of tea or snacks on had toppled over. The pretty white vase that Y/N’s mother had bought the couple a few years back was shattered on the floor, the yellow daffodils that had been inside the vase laying there limply. By the fireplace was a small pool of blood, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out who it belonged to.
Seeing the blood sent Spencer into a panic, his breathing increasing as he anxiously called out for her, opening up the doors to their bedroom and the bathroom, finding all the rooms empty.
He ran a hand through his hair and down his face as he tried to steady his breathing, so that he could think.
“She’s not here, She’s not here, She’s not-” Three whispered words were all that left his lips, a broken mantra filled with worry and despair.
“Okay, let’s start from the beginning, how did the unsub even gain entry to the apartment?” Rossi asked, grimacing at the state of the room around them.
After coming to the realisation that his fiancee was missing and had indeed been taken, Spencer had called Emily, who’d assembled the team together to help the distraught genius. Emily sent Garcia, Luke and Matt to the BAU headquarters to work from there, while the rest of the team met up with Spencer at his apartment.
Once they’d arrived, they found Spencer outside, anxiously pacing the hallway outside the door as he mumbled to himself, desperately trying to fight off the raging headache he had. JJ was quick to attempt to console him, but to no avail. His brain was essentially mush. As if the stress of everything he’d been through wasn’t enough- the love of his life was missing, potentially dead, and he couldn’t even string together a coherent sentence. How was he supposed to help?
Emily had nodded to the rest of the team, silently telling them to head inside the apartment to check things out while she came to stand in front of Spencer.
“Reid? Reid. I know this is a lot but I need you to listen to me. You can’t be here. You’re not in the right headspace for this. You’re better off back at the BAU with Garcia, Luke and Matt.” Emily tried. She didn’t want to upset him further but it was the best thing for him. There was no chance of him thinking clearly at the scene, so sending him back to HQ was the best option.
Spencer knew that. However it didn’t stop him from looking at Emily with anger flaring in his eyes. “You’re not seriously kicking me off the case? My fiancee is missing-” His voice raised but Emily cut him off.
“I’m not kicking you off the case. Y/N is a part of this family and we won’t rest until she’s home, but you’re not gonna be able to think here, Spencer. I’m just trying to do what’s best for you.” She promised and he nodded, forcing him self not to grunt in pain as his splitting headache worsened.
As he stepped off of the elevator, his legs carried him quickly through the glass doors into the bullpen. He b-lined for the conference room, where Garcia, Luke Matt were sat at the roundtable. Garcia was typing away furiously at her laptop, Matt looking over her shoulder whilst Luke reviewed pictures from the crime scene. When Spencer entered the room Garcia looked up, her fingers faltering.
“Reid..” Garcia started, but quickly realised she didn’t know what to say.
Spencer said nothing, stalking toward her and leaning his hands on the table. “Emily told me you’re looking at security footage from outside our apartment complex? Did you see anything?”
Garcia exchanged a look of sadness with Matt before clearing her throat. “Uh, the cameras outside the lobby caught the kidnappers vehicle as it left, a blue Sedan, but it’s too dark for us to make out the plates.”
“Did the camera’s catch her being taken?” His voice was quiet but sturdy. The coldness of his tone almost made Garcia shiver.
“Yes.” She squeaked out.
“Show me.” He demanded, walking to her other side so he could lean over her shoulder to watch.
Matt shifted, standing up straight. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, Reid.”
“Did I ask?” He spat, not bothering to spare Matt a glance as he looked at Garcia’s laptop screen. “ I said show me.”
“O-Okay.” She murmured, clicking a few buttons before the video started up.
The four of them watched intently as a man in a dark hoodie carried an unconscious Y/N out the front doors of the complex. Spencer noted the splotch of red on her forehead, likely from where the bastard had hit her to knock her out. The man forcefully shoved her in the back of the car that waited by the front of the building, before moving to get into the drivers seat and taking off.
Spencer was gripping the edge of the roundtable with such force that his knuckles were white, and it seemed a miracle that the wood hadn’t splintered under his force.
Luke spoke first. “Did we get a good enough look at his face?”
Garcia shook her head. “Not really. His back was to the camera’s a lot.”
Matt sighed. “It means he knew where they were, and how to avoid them. This kidnapping was planned, likely weeks in advance.”
Spencer slammed his hands down on the table, and Garcia let out a yelp at the sudden movement. “So we have nothing then?” He yelled, starting to pace the end of the conference room, his hands gripping handful’s of his hair.
“I’ll call Emily and see if they found anything at the scene.” Matt mumbled, quickly leaving the room.
Spencer rubbed as his eyes frustratedly, before turning toward Luke and Garcia. “You guys need to get out.”
“Get out, you need to get out. I’m sorry but I need to think, I need to focus and I can’t do that with you here.” He ushered the two out of the conference room, slamming the door shut behind them as he looked around frantically. He grabbed the photos that were on the table that Luke was previously looking at. He stared at them, willing his brain to work, hoping he’d figure out what he was missing. He quickly grew frustrated with his lack of progress, picking up one of the books from the table and throwing it at the wall in his angry haste.
Garcia gasped, a loud bang sounding from the conference room where Reid was working tirelessly to find Y/N. She shared a look with Luke, who shrugged. The pair quickly moved toward the room, gently opening the door, to find Spencer pacing the room anxiously, running his hands through his hair as he tried to control his breathing.
Spencer didn’t know what to do. He’d exhausted the few leads they had, he was mentally and physically exhausted and he wasn’t sure when the last time he ate was. All he knew, all he could think about, was that his girl was out there somewhere, waiting for him to save her. And he wasn’t even close to finding her.
“Reid, I know a lot is going on but you’ve got to try and clear your head-“ Luke started but Spencer interrupted him, his tone cold and unforgiving.
“My fiancée is missing, and I can’t get it together long enough to figure out where she is!” He yelled, and Garcia flinched at his words. He saw the looks on their faces and frowned. “What?”
“You threw a book at the wall..” Garcia mumbled, still cautious of her words.
“If Y/N dies because I was too slow I’ll be throwing a lot more than books.” He seethed, before brushing past the stunned pair.
The cold water felt refreshing on his boiling skin as he splashed it against his face in an attempt to calm himself down a little. He gripped the sink tightly in his hands and forced himself to look in the mirror. He wasn’t shocked by what he saw staring back at him. A shell of the man he was before prison. Cold and harsh and unkind, a man who would kill another and still sleep easy. His breaths were heavy and he felt the familiar feeling crawling up his throat, the feeling that he wanted to cry, to sob and plead for everything to just end. Hadn’t he been through enough?
He choked the feeling down. Crying and pleading weren’t going to bring Y/N back home to him.
He could feel the panic bubbling within him, and so he forced himself to think of happier times, times where the weight of the world wasn’t on his aching shoulders. He screwed his eyes shut, willing himself to go somewhere better, somewhere happier, even if just for a minute.
It was her voice. Oh thank god.
He blinked his eyes open, his gaze landing on her sat next to him. He immediately knew which memory he was recalling. It was one of the happiest days of his life.
He’d taken her out that night for dinner and then up a mountain of sorts so they could get to a high enough point where they’d have a perfect view of the stars. He’d explained the constellations to her as she sat next to him, cross-legged with her head resting on his shoulder and his arms around her.
He looked at her as she stared up at the night sky in awe. He took in every detail of her face, letting it really sink in that she was his, a woman so kind and compassionate and beautiful was all his. She raised her hand to point up toward the sky, an amused smile on her lips.
“What about that one, what’s it called?”
He was more than happy to tell her.
As they sat in a blissful silence, Spencer noted how this was the happiest he’d felt in a long time. With her, he was sure there could never be a bad day again.
He broke the silence by clearing his throat, unwrapping his arm from her as she turned to face him, her brow furrowed.
“Spence? You okay?”
“Yeah- I- Um, I didn’t just bring you out here to watch the stars.” He started, his palms quickly becoming sweaty and his voice dying in his rapidly drying throat. He kept trying to speak, to say the words he’d practiced a thousand times over in his head, but he simply couldn’t form the words.
She reached out to grab his hand, taking in gently in hers as an act of reassurance. “It’s okay, It’s only me. Take your time.”
He squeezed her hand in thanks before taking a deep breath and moving up from his seated position, manoeuvering so he was now down on one knee in front of her. He kept the grip on her hand, his other hand reaching into his pocket for the small red box that he’d carried with him for months prior to this moment.
Y/N gasped when he opened up the box, showcasing the beautiful silver ring sat inside. Her eyes grew wide and filled with tears.
“Y/N.” He started. “Over the two years, two-hundred-and-seventeen days, six hours and fifteen minutes we’ve been together, there’s not been one moment where I’ve not loved you. Even through petty arguments and silly fights, I have never and will never stop loving you. I don’t think I could if I tried. You’re always there for me when I need you. When a case has been rough, you’re at home waiting to hold me and make everything better. You’ve never failed me, and if you accept this ring, I promise I’ll never fail you. You’re my whole life, Y/N. There is nothing I wouldn’t do if it ensured your safety, if it meant coming home to you. You’re everything I’m ever going to want, you’re everything I need. So Y/N Y/L/N, would you do me the extraordinary honour of marrying me?”
Words failed her in that moment so all she could do was nod her head as tears cascaded down her cheeks. She launched herself forward, wrapping her arms around him as she cried happily into his neck, and he chuckled to himself, arms wrapping around her securely.
She pulled back a moment later, swiping her fingers under her eyes to wipe her tears away as she flashed him a breath-taking smile. “Yes.” She answered quietly, watching as he carefully slipped the ring on her finger. she gazed down at it in awe. “It’s beautiful, Spence.” She grinned back up at him, her hands coming to cup his cheeks.
“You’re beautiful.” He murmured, before moving forward to connect his lips to hers.
He wished he could cling onto the warmth that bubbled in his chest forever.
A voice came from behind him, causing his eyes to snap open. He looked behind him, to where Luke stood by the door.
“Reid, You gotta come. Garcia found something.”
“What have you got Garcia?” Luke called as soon as he entered the conference room, Reid rushing in behind him.
“I managed to get the footage from the cameras that are outside the shop opposite the apartment complex.” She started, and Reid came to stand next to her, watching the footage play on her laptop. “If I zoom in close enough I should be able to get an ID on our unsub. We can see his face, but it’s still a tad blurry. Not to worry, I’ll work some magic and get it as clear as I can. Hopefully then we can run it through facial recognition and pray it turns up something.” She sounded hopeful, and Reid was grateful for her optimism.
It wasn’t much, but it was a lead. And honestly that was all he could ask for at that moment.
Garcia skilfully managed to unblur the video they had of the unsub, but facial recognition didn’t turn up any matches or any new leads. The team were at a loss. It had been seventy-two hours since Y/N went missing, and with every hour, the possibility of her coming home alive decreased. Spencer knew the statistics, he knew the chances. it was the curse of an eidetic memory, he supposed.
With every hour, Reid lost more and more of himself, any hope he had being chipped away with the annoying tick of the clock as seconds passed by. He had barely slept, even when being ‘ordered’ to by Emily. The only time he’d slept was when he got so drained and exhausted that he actually passed out for a few hours. He refused to eat, drinking as much caffeine as he could in order to force himself to stay awake. How could he sleep at a time like this? Whenever someone on the team tried to encourage him to eat, if only a few bites of a cereal bar, he’d snap at them.
Eventually, JJ had had enough. She watched Spencer snap at Luke, who was just trying to encourage him to put something other than coffee in his system. She stood up from her seat, grabbing his wrist and pulling him with her. He attempted to protest but she gave him a look that made him decide that it was best he keep his mouth shut. She pulled them into an empty office, closing the door behind them for privacy.
“You gotta listen to me, Spence.” She spoke calmly. “I know this is killing you. I know how badly you want to find her and bring her home. Everyone out there is trying so hard to do that for you.” She pointed to the doorway to emphasise her point. She dropped her arm back down to her side as she watched him run his hands over his face exhaustedly. “Talk to me.”
“I just I can’t think straight-” He whimpered out, rubbing his eyes with his hands. “I need her to come home, I can’t live without her.” He got a little choked up, his hands trembling slightly as he desperately tried to keep his emotions in check.
JJ gently placed her hand on his shoulder, still cautious of touching him since his release from prison, not wanting to alarm or startle him.
“There’s not a doubt in my mind that we’ll find her. Y/N is tough, she won’t let him break her.”
Spencer nodded, wiping his eyes on the cuffs of his blazer. He was about to thank JJ for her comfort when a knock sounded through the room. Tara came in, a morbid look on her face. “You guys need to come see this.”
When they reach the conference room again, all of the team is gathered around the table, their gazes all trained on the phone in the middle of the table that was ringing.
Emily looked to Garcia. “Are you ready to trace the call?”
Garcia nodded. Spencer was about to ask what was happening when Emily reached over, answering the phone and putting it on loud speaker. “This is Agent Emily Prentiss with the FBI, who am I speaking to?”
“I want to speak with Dr Reid.” The unsub’s voice boomed through the speaker, and Emily exchanged a look with Spencer as she shook her head, placing a finger over her lips.
“We want proof of life before we negotiate anything with you.” She stated.
“She’s listening, perfectly alive. I want to speak to Dr Reid.”
Emily nodded toward Spencer, signalling for him to speak.
“I’m here.” He spoke, keeping his voice strong despite how he wanted to cry. It was a skill he’d learned in prison- tears equated to weakness, and weakness got you killed.
“I’d like you to know, I’m feeling generous today.” The unsub sounded like he was smirking on the other end of the line, almost proud.
“You are? What does that mean?” Spencer continued the conversation on, keeping the unsub on the line long enough for Garcia to get a location.
“I’ve spent a fair bit of time with Y/N. She’s fierce. Hard one to break, this one.” He was mocking Spencer, taunting him, and he had to try ridiculously hard to keep his building anger in check. “She begs for you, you know? When my punches make pretty bruises bloom across her skin she pleads for you to save her. But she’s tough, always hitting me back with insults. You know earlier, she actually spat at me, the bitch.” He chuckled, and Spencer breathed in deeply, gripping the edges of the table in a death-grip.
Rossi shot him a look from across the table that said ‘Keep it together’.
“No worry, I’m sure I can break her. If you give me some more time with her, maybe I can try some.. alternative methods.”
That was the line for Spencer, who spat through clenched his teeth and stood to hover over the phone. “You listen to me, you son of a bitch, if you touch her I swear to god-“
“I’d be careful about threatening me, or I might not be so generous.” The unsub tutted.
“What do you want? Tell me what you want in return for Y/N’s safety.”
“This isn’t a bargain, Doctor. This is a kindness. I’m going to let pretty young Y/N speak with you before I kill her. I’m not so much of a monster that I would stand in the way of young love. You have five minutes to talk. You’re welcome.”
There was more rustling on the phone, and then silence.
And then finally-
Her voice was croaky, likely from the lack of water and her screaming. It sounded so broken, and Spencer’s heart ached because he could tell she was using all of her strength to try and sound okay for him.
Spencer sighed out of relief. despite how it sounded, proof that she was alive was enough to lift the slightest bit of weight from his shoulders. “It’s me, sweetheart. Are you okay?”
“I think some of my ribs are broken, my wrist definitely is. I’m trying to be strong Spence but I don’t know if I can-“ She choked and tears filled his eyes as he willed them to keep at bay.
“Y/N, listen to me. I will find you. Do you understand me? You will not die there. You’re gonna come home to me, I promise you that.” The tears he tried to hide away slowly trembled down his cheeks as he made promises that he wasn’t 100% sure he could keep.
“Spencer. I’m so sorry-“ She started but he interrupted her.
“Please don’t apologise, It’s not your fault, baby.” He pleaded, the feeling of dread filling him the longer they spoke.
Around the table, each team stood watching in shock, tears swimming in their own eyes.
“Two minutes.” The unsub shouted through the phone.
“I need to tell you something.” Y/N whimpered.
Spencer shook his head although she couldn’t see it. “No, I know where you’re going with this, stop it.”
She ignored his plead. “Spencer Reid, I’ve loved you ever since we met, when you spilled your coffee all over me. I remember it like it was yesterday. Your coffee ruined my outfit, and you were an apologising mess, so you gave me your jacket, even though it meant you’d get cold. I’ve loved you ever since that moment, Spencer.” Her voice broke at the end and she cleared her throat, determined to finish what she wanted to say. “You have to promise me you will move on, Spencer. You’ve got to let yourself be happy. You deserve it, so much.”
Spencer whined, his own voice croaky. “Don’t. Don’t you dare say goodbye to me, Y/N.”
The booming voice of the unsub came through the speaker again. “Times up.”
“Spencer I love yo-” The end of her sentence was cut off by the unsub ending the call, the dial tone ringing out when the line went dead.
Spencer’s hands were shaking in anger as he closed his eyes, bowing his head, hopelessly trying to keep himself calm.
Emily was the first to speak. “Did you get it, Garcia?”
Garcia continued to click away from a few moments before gasping. “Yes! Yes! I got it!”
The exclamation made Spencer’s head shoot up.
“Send us the address.” Emily ordered, as the team headed out toward the cars, with no time left to waste.
The team pulled up to the location Garcia had given them, splitting off into two groups to cover the front and back entrances.
Spencer, JJ, Luke, and Emily were all cautiously walking down one of the warehouse’s winding corridors, before turning the corner, guns in hand. They’d entered a large room, and Spencer’s eyes immediately landed on the limp figure hunched over in a chair in the centre of the room.
Whilst the other members made sure there were no other possible threats in the room, Spencer rushed forward, the only thing he could think of was getting to her.
Oh god please be alive, please.
As he got closer, he took note of the wounds she has sustained. There was blood pooling from a wound on her thigh, and a few other cuts and bruises.
Why was she so still?
As soon as he reached her his hands cupped her cheeks, her head lolled towards him, as she struggled to hold it up. He pressed two of his fingers to her neck and had never been so thankful to feel a shallow pulse beneath her skin.
“Y/N? Y/N, wake up, come on sweetheart.” He pleaded, swiping his thumbs over her cheeks.
She blinked her eyes open, groaning in pain as she came to. She hissed at the pain in her thigh, her eyes focusing on the man in front of her. “Spencer?”
“It’s me, I’m here. We’re gonna get you out of here alright, just stay with me.”
“He left a few minutes before you got here-“ She coughed mid-sentence, nodding her head weakly toward the back entrance of the room. “He went that way.”
Luke and Emily moved towards the back entrance in pursuit of the unsub, while JJ stayed back to untie Y/N’s wrists from behind her whilst speaking into her radio requesting medical attention.
Y/N groaned again as she felt Spencer’s hands on her thigh, desperately trying it slow the bleeding. She blinked, despairingly trying to stay awake. Spencer could see her fighting and scrambled to find something to distract her with. “Hey, hey. you remember when we met? Like you said on the phone? That I completely ruined your blouse with my coffee because I’m an idiot.” He gave her a small forced smile that he hoped would reassure her as she wailed out again in pain.
He looked at JJ, who looked back at him with tears in her own eyes. “I don’t think we can wait much longer for the medics, we’re gonna have to bring her to them.”
“Are you sure we should move her?” JJ asked.
Spencer simply nodded. “She might die if we don’t move her now, she’s losing too much blood.” He pulled his belt from his waist, tying it tightly just above Y/N’s leg wound. She let out a shrill cry of pain, sobs escaping her lips.
“I’m sorry sweetheart, I know it hurts. We’re gonna get you up and outside okay.” He cooed as he hoisted her up bridal style, holding her as gently as he could so as not to agitate her wound. With JJ beside them, he began to walk back towards the entrance. “It’ll be okay. I promise. You’ll be okay.” He pressed a kiss to Y/N’s forehead as a promise.
Her head dropped against his shoulder and he looked down at her, his tone pleading as he spoke. “I know you’re tired baby but you gotta keep those beautiful eyes open for me, okay?” They were just stepping through the front door when she spoke.
“Spence..” She whispered, her eyes fluttering as she defeatedly attempted to stop the darkness from consuming her.
She didn’t answer.
Everything was a blur after that.
The hospital waiting room was one of Spencer’s least favourite places, he’d decided.
The strong smell of disinfectant along with the bright lights and white walls irritated his eyes, making his headaches even worse. He didn’t dare try to sleep though, not until he knew if she was okay. His head was in his hands and his leg bounced anxiously as he sat in the waiting room, his team surrounding him, all aching for any news.
Finally, after what felt like hours had dragged on, a nurse entered the room calling for Y/N’s family.
Spencer stood so quickly he nearly toppled over. He moved toward the nurse nodding his head frantically. “I’m her fiancee, is she okay?”
The nurse gave him a smile and nodded. “She’s absolutely fine, sir. The wound on her thigh bled quite heavily, but we were able to stabilise her. She has a few bruised ribs and a broken wrist, but she will make a full recovery. She’s awake if you’d like to see her?”
He nodded again, sparing a thankful glance at his team before following the nurse down the hallway.
He’d never felt such a sweet relief as he did when he saw her sat up in her hospital bed, a small smile on her lips as she drank from her water cup. Her smile brightened at the sight of him and she gave him a little wave, setting her cup down on the tiny side table.
“Thank god you’re okay.” He murmured once he reached her bedside, leaning down to engulf her in a light hug, so as not to cause her any pain.
She grinned, reaching her good hand up to hold him to her.
When he pulled back he placed a gentle kiss on her lips, one that just further assured him that she was okay. Once they pulled away, he moved his hands to cup her cheeks.
“Hi.” He grinned, the tears pricking at his eyes.
“Hi.” She gave a light chuckle, immediately regretting it when a sharp pain seared through her chest, making her wince.
He pressed his forehead to hers in a sweet gesture, closing his eyes as he basked in her warmth. He tuned his ears into the rhythm of her soft breathing, focusing on them and trying to keep his in time with hers.
She gently brushed her hand up and down his forearm in a comforting manner. “It’s okay, Spence. I’m okay.”
“I nearly lost you.” His throat caught on the words, and she noticed the stray tears that quivered down his cheeks.
She smiled sadly as he opened his eyes, hazel orbs meeting hers. “But you didn’t. I’m here. I’m alive, you’re alive, and it’s all gonna be just fine.”
He nodded before pulling away from her. he reached for the chair that was up against the wall of the room, pulling it so he could sit at her bedside. “I’m so sorry I let this happen to you.” He frowned, placing his hands in his lap. “I should’ve protected you. It’s my job to protect you. How can even think I’ll be a good husband, even a good father someday if I can’t keep you safe?”
She reached over and gripped his hand tightly. “You will be a phenomenal husband Spencer Reid, and an even better father. In less than five months I’ll be your wife, and I’ll be the happiest woman alive.” She ran her thumb over the back of his hand in a soothing manner and he smiled a little at her compliment. “And when we have a baby, they’ll be the luckiest kid on earth to have you as their father.”
“Yes ma’am.” He teased and she smiled, happy she’d been able to quash his worries, for the moment at least.
His fingers hovered over the engagement ring on her finger, bringing her hand to his lips to place a kiss on it. “Why wait?” He murmured.
“Why should we wait five months? The nurse said they’re gonna discharge you on Thursday morning. So as soon as you’re up to it why don’t we go down to the courthouse and elope?” He queried, a smile on his lips.
“Spence.. the weddings all planned. Five months isn’t a long time.” She countered, a small smile on her lips.
“It is, it’s too long. I don’t want to waste another minute of my life not being married to you. I want you to be Mrs Reid and I want us to start living our lives together. We can still have the wedding, we’ll just get married twice.” He shrugged, and Y/N couldn’t believe she was really considering the idea.
“Spence, I don’t know..” She trailed off, still needing a little convincing to get on board.
He released her hand and stood from the chair, moving it over slightly before lowering himself down onto one knee, taking her hand again. “Y/N Y/L/N, will you marry me-“
“You know you’ve already asked me this? Like a year ago.” She teased, and he chuckled shaking his head at her.
“Hush, let me finish. Will you marry me, on Thursday?”
“Yes.” She answered with a grin, as though it was the most obvious answer in the world.
He beamed, surging forward and wrapping her in his arms.
“You know, Garcia will kill us for getting married without her there.” She smirked as they pulled back, and Spencer nodded in agreement.
“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”
“You think she won’t find out? I’ll leave you to deal with her when she gets angry, Dr. Reid.” She joked, and he laughed with her.
“I think I can handle it, Mrs Reid.”
She grinned at the premature use of the name. “You can’t call me that until Thursday, you know.”
“Technically I can’t. But as soon as I can, I’ll never stop.” He promised, leaning down to kiss her once more.
718 notes · View notes
story of us ♡
pairing: atsumu x f!reader ♡
genre: angst // exes // mutual pining ♡
summary: at an inarizaki volleyball club reunion, you have the unfortunate displeasure of meeting your ex. you swore you’d be fine, you got over him years ago right? ♡
word count: 2k ♡
author’s note: sort of proofread hahwbaha - also not super angsty but yanno haha. been into writing again hehe ♡
♡ (inspired by the story of us by taylor swift) ♡
“Are you sure you’ll be alright?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine, don’t worry! I’ll see you tonight okay?”
It was only for one night, you could survive a few hours right? You sure hoped so. You quickly hung up on Suna, praying that he didn’t hear the waver in your voice. You were sure if you didn’t end the call when you did, he’d have had you figured out.
It’s not like you were dreading this, you had prepared for this night, it was inevitable; it had been planned for months. Were you honestly just kidding yourself? Probably, but you were certain that for just tonight you would be fine. It had been years since Miya Atsumu had broken your heart, and you wouldn’t let those feelings resurface. You promised yourself that you wouldn’t be sad or angry anymore.
“I just don’t think we should stay together after graduation you know?”
“We’re both going in different directions and it just seems like the best thing for us. I’m sorry, I really am Y/N, good luck with everything”
It was awkward and ugly. You watched your first love walk away from you. Heavy tears cascaded down your face. Black eyeliner and mascara smudged from your fingers rubbing against your eyes in an attempted to stop them from watering even further. It sucked. Just a few moments ago you were celebrating finally being free of high school and going on with a new chapter in your life with your now ex boyfriend. Now you were here, with your eyes swollen and red, and your heart utterly shattered.
You never bothered with love after that.
You shook off the painful memory, deciding that it didn’t matter anymore. That was in the past, this was the present. Looking in the mirror to apply a gorgeous rogue lipstick you noticed your eyes start to slowly tear up. You supposed it didn’t matter how long ago it was, or how hard you desperately tried to forget.
Your heart would still hurt over it’s first holder.
You opted to go for a natural glam look - not something too much, but you wanted to look a little bit different than how you normally did on the daily. Part of you also wanted to show Atsumu just exactly what he let go. Was it petty? Sure, but you figured you earned it a little bit. With a classic little black dress, black strappy heels and red bag, you were ready to make your way to Onigiri Miya.
The Uber ride did little to ease your nerves. The closer you got to Osamu’s establishment, the closer you were to seeing him again. You honestly didn’t want to see Atsumu ever again, already rueful that you even agreed to come to the reunion. You guessed you owed it to the other members; you were the manager back in High School, and why should you let one jerk ruin seeing the friendly faces of the team again? Who knows when you all would be free again? Everyone was so busy nowadays, perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad. Besides, you could ignore Atsumu tonight. No one would ever blame you for it - they all knew what he did graduation night.
The car suddenly stopped, bringing you out of your thoughts. You muttered a quick ‘thank you’ to the driver and slowly got out of the car. Your heart was pounding in anticipation, almost like it could feel the familiar presence of the one who owned it long ago. You wished your heart and head could be in sync, but one was reminding you of the hurt and pain that he inflicted, while the other yearned him despite it.
You took a deep inhale, steadying yourself. You could see the old volleyball team through the windows of Osamu’s restaurant, noting that you were in fact last to arrive. You didn’t want to admit it, but your eyes lingered on your old lover more than they should have.
Finally deciding that you couldn’t stay out in the middle of the street much longer (and the fact that you didn’t wear a jacket), you made your way to the building. Your heels clicking and clacking against the pavement, almost like a beat of impending doom. You couldn’t help but be a little dramatic; after all, what were you to do - you were about to see the only guy you had ever loved and he just so happened to have stepped on your heart.
It was surprisingly easy for you to plaster a smile on your face, greeting your old teammates with warm hugs and a beaming grin. You could’ve almost fooled yourself into thinking that you no longer felt any pain or resentment. That was until you briefly caught Atsumu’s figure in the corner of your eye. The awkwardness and tension was slowly rising inside of you. It was only for a split second but that was enough. You both locked eyes with each other for just a moment, before you both pulled your gazes away.
It was a lie, you weren’t fine at all.
For the entirety of the night, you ignored Atsumu. In fact, you completely disregarded his presence, pretending that he didn’t even exist.
And he did the same to you.
You silently gave your heart an apology, utterly siding with your head. You didn’t know whether this was the right choice, but it was yours nonetheless, and you weren’t going to back out of it now. You weren’t sure if the rest of the guys could sense the cold war between the both of you, though it wouldn’t surprise you if they did.
And they surely did.
It wasn’t that hard to note from everyone else that the ex lovers were tiptoeing around each other. Often noting the minuscule glances the both of you gave one another while the other wasn’t looking. It wasn’t hard to note that the both of you were so firmly stubborn, and refused to even say anything more than a greeting, which was definitely half-assed on both parties.
It wasn’t hard to see the anxiousness on both of your faces when the only available seat just happened to be next to you, and Atsumu had to awkwardly shuffle his way to the chair and plop down quietly.
It wasn’t hard for anyone to see that the both of you were still stupidly in love with each other.
They couldn’t tell if it did or didn’t make any sense. You and Atsumu were that couple. The high school sweethearts. The ones so in love, everyone else thought that you’d both actually make it. It definitely came as a huge shock when Atsumu had broken the news to his closest friends. Osamu could barely hear his twin on the phone, the hiccuping and sobs sounded foreign to him. What he could make out, however, was Atsumu saying “I let her go ‘Samu” followed by a burst of tears.
With both of your backs to one another, you continued on, as if you both weren’t there. It honestly hurt the rest of them to see. The once happy couple, who couldn’t keep their hands off of each other were now scooted on the edge of their seats, desperately grasping at any amount of space they could.
Did either of you know that neither one of you had dated, or been with anyone else since?
You kept chatting away, noting that the end of the night was dawning upon you, and that after this you’d never have to see Atsumu again - at least not for a long while. The night wasn’t all that terrible, and you supposed if this were to ever happen in the future once more, you wouldn’t be apposed to coming again. You felt a slight pang in your chest at that revelation. But it was what you wanted right? You were so dubious about this reunion because of him in the first place, it didn’t make sense to feel this way. You tried to brush it away - your heart couldn’t get what it wanted. One day it would lose his sense, and find another to beat for. The world was a big place, and even though it hadn’t found another, it would.
One day. It was all you could hope for.
As the last few minutes of the reunion drained on, members of the team excitedly decided to spend it taking group pictures. It all happened so fast and so quick, that you didn’t even register everyone piling in together. A phone set up on the counter, and bodies squished together. You had completely forgotten you were situated next to Atsumu. You couldn’t move, no matter how much you wanted to.
It was only for a few minutes, you could endure it.
Suddenly, you were accidentally pushed. Your heels making you unstable, and you tripped right into Atsumu. Both of his hands intertwined with yours, so naturally. It was the contact your heart was craving for all night. You muttered a quick sorry before promptly turning away from him.
For some reason, neither of you had let go of your hands closest to each other. You figured for just one last time, you’d indulge in the feeling of him, and that for once, you’d listen to what your heart wanted.
You smiled, did silly poses, stuck out your tongue, threw up peace signs and everything you could think of. And as you all got ready for one final picture, Atsumu squeezed your hand.
You didn’t hesitate to squeeze his right back.
And after a last click you all cheered and clapped, so thankful that tonight happened. Regrettably, you both had to let go. You savoured his touch, wanted to ingrain his fingerprints in your mind. He no longer made you angry or frustrated. The last few moments made you relive your happiest memories with him. It felt like such a shame to let it go, but you had to. You knew deep down, that your heart would never desire anybody else; but he made that choice long ago. There was nothing you could do anymore.
You’d now go on and pretend like he never existed, like you had been for years. You wondered if it was easy for him. It must’ve been really: he was rich, famous and you weren’t blind to the fact that he just looked better than ever. You were sure girls were fawning over him left, right and centre.
Once your Uber arrived, you quickly bid the boys a goodbye, telling them to enjoy the rest of their night. You were sure they were heading to a bar, and you didn’t want to impose on being the only girl. You’d let them have their boys night. You ducked out, your heels tapping, and the chime bell ringing above the door signalling your exit as you bounced out of sight.
Atsumu could only sigh at your departure secretly wishing that you’d come back and bound into his arms. But thats all it was, wishful thinking.
“Are you really just gonna let her go again?”
Atsumu turned to his brother with a sad smile.
“There’s nothing I can do. I can’t go back in time, and besides, she hates me and has since graduation. As much as I want to, I can’t do anything. Anyway got any booze?”
Atsumu brushed past everyone to head into the restaurants kitchen, hoping to find some form of alcohol to dull his senses and momentarily forget about you. He’s sure if he stayed any longer out there, he would’ve cracked. He was the one to end it, he didn’t have the right to go after you. It had been years, he’s sure you’d have moved on anyway. At least he got to see you tonight, and as short lived as it was, he was glad he got to hold your hand one last time.
Miya Atsumu had broken your heart, and you wouldn’t let those feelings resurface.
You smiled bitterly, looking out at the passing city lights, noting that that had indeed been true, because those feelings never left.
161 notes · View notes
Erwin Smith x Fem!Reader
You’ve been married to Erwin for some joyful time, eager to have a child and broaden the family. However…
Tags: Spoilers for S1-S3, Angst, Hurt, Pregnancy, Lemon
A/N: This is my first angst drabble!
Pants and heavy breathing filled the bedroom, growing quieter as the sounds of the bedposts hitting the wall and hip thrusting had come to a halt. Your knees gave out minutes ago, now only being supported by your husband’s firm hand lifting your hip.
You’d lost count on how many times you had climaxed, senses and memories growing fuzzy from hours of play. You collapsed onto the sheets as Erwin rubbed your back. He has also released inside you a couple of times, leaving you full of his seed, too full, even, as it was overflowing and dripping out your pussy.
As he pulled out, the gush of sperm spilled also, leaving him displeased and pushing them back in with his fingers. After he was satisfied, he lowered himself and kissed you on the nape lovingly.
“Are you alright, my dear?”
“Mm-hm,” you nodded weakly with your head on a pillow, muttering under your breath, “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” he said as he got up and began to clean the mess.
The two of you had been trying for a child for some time, feeling that you both were ready for the responsibility. That wish, however, had not yet been granted upon, leaving you in tears one time because of it, but Erwin was insistent.
His blue eyes shone with thrill when you told him you were pregnant the next week. He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you in, enveloping you into a bear hug. You couldn’t see his face, but you knew he was happy, maybe even in tears.
“I knew this’d happen. You’d be such a great mommy, and I’ll never leave your side.”
“Erwin,” you chuckled. “Thanks, but you have a job.”
“I’ll still be there for you. I can’t wait for them to be born, and teach them everything I know,” he tightened his hug. “I love both of you.”
The months passed, not only with your baby bump growing, but with surprising advancements of the survey corps. News spread like wildfire of the Jaeger boy who plugged Wall Rose and later fought the Female Titan, leaving the interior in pieces and Erwin disappearing for weeks. Each time he got home he kissed you and made sure of your comfort, then talked about the revelations the survey corps had made and his theories. You always enjoyed listening to him, feeling as if his wit could pour down onto you. Each revelation was baffling, and at times brought more questions than answers. But the worst one was when your husband came home missing an arm. That was the first flag his job as a commander had put up, striking you with terror of the dangers he’s always gambled his life onto.
But of course, you had to be strong for him. That night, you wrapped a blanket around the two-three of you- and cuddled with him after so many nights of worry, wondering if your husband had survived the expedition. The news came late to you that he’d been tortured by the Military Police. It was heart crushing, but he looked at you and smiled, saying that he was one step closer towards the truth, after overthrowing the corrupt government.
“It’s okay,” he smiled. “If it meant our girl would be born with no mysteries left to crack, no more lies to uncover.”
You shook your head sternly. “Or boy.”
“It’s a suggestion.”
He held your hand and said, “We’ll be there for them, you know? We’ll see them laugh and cry. We’ll send them to their first day of school. And if it’d be a ‘her’... I’d walk her down the aisle, one day.”
After a couple weeks, you began to feel heavy and struggled doing daily things. Erwin was busy with plans and advancements of, well, his career, but he always made time for you, spending more time at home than usual, kissing your tummy and talking to the baby as if it could hear him, leaping in joy whenever you said there was a kick. You wondered if he was overwhelmed with everything happening.
Doctor checkups began and became more regular as you were close to labor. The lack of technology and science at the time meant the doctors could not predict the exact due date, but they can have a pretty accurate guess. They advised you to stay at the hospital for two weeks in case of contractions.
Erwin always made time to visit you at the hospital during nighttime, managing his time quite well between work and family. He gave his all to comfort you as the time grows nearer, worrying each passing day if the contractions would come.
But during your labor, it was a shame he was at work, too far to reach. You had to endure the pain, the burn, the stretch alone, with only doctors and nurses around you, repeating the same orders over and over again.
“Breathe, push, breathe, push.”
It was torture. Your back and lower abdomen ached, the stretch burned and pressured your pelvis. Controlling yourself not to scream and instead, take deep breaths was near impossible given the growing ache. As if the physical torment wasn’t enough, to top it off, you had no one to give you emotional comfort and support at the time, not even your husband. Perhaps it would’ve been less excruciating had he been there, giving you a hand to squeeze mercilessly.
The tears of the tiny baby helped you forget the pain after it was pushed out of your uterus. You cradled him in your arms after he was wrapped in a blanket. The prospect of being a mother, the dream you’ve always had in the back of your mind for years, was relieving, joyful, and sad at the same time. You held your baby close as if it was the most important thing to you, and it was, and it always will be.
“Do you want to name it now, ma’am?” one of the doctors asked you.
“No… not until my husband comes.”
“We’ve sent for his office, he should be here as soon as the message gets to him.”
The doctors left the room after everything was set, leaving you alone with your son. Tears of joy streamed down your face as you held him close, kissing the little face and hands gently as you waited for Erwin, unable to contain your joy, not knowing how you would phrase the words to break the news to him.
You recalled the last time you saw your husband. It was just yesterday, the night before your labor.
That one particular night¸ as always, Erwin had sat next to you by the hospital bed. He held your hand, listening to you talk about your day at the hospital, how bored you were, and how you wished the baby would come sooner so that you could get out and get on with your life.
“What do you think we should name it?” you asked him.
“You carried her for nine months, you should name her,” he replied.
“I carried him for nine months, the least you could do, my love, is save me the trouble of thinking about names.”
He chuckles, listing some names he’d thought of and the meaning and philosophy behind them. His voice was dreamy, and you were really grateful to be able to hear that voice almost every day since you were married. The night stirred, and you began to yawn.
“Are you staying here for the night?” you asked him.
He froze quite still for a second.
The answer was never shocking, but also never failed to disappoint you. It was engraved onto your brain that ‘no’ meant he had an expedition to go on to. It was hard, and almost crazy that this had to happen in an interval so near to your still unpredicted labor.
“We’re retaking Wall Maria tomorrow,” he said.
If only you'd known what that meant.
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Ellipsism | K.Bakugou
Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.
» Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader.
» Word count: 1.9K
» Genre: Angst
» Summary: In a world where everyone is born with a unique tattoo on their ankle, and every time they fall in love with someone, their tattoo appears somewhere else on the body of the person they love. You come to the realization that it might not be as simple as that, and all your childhood dreams would come and bite you in the ass.
» Warning(s): ANGST, mentions of self-harm.
» Author’s notes: Listen, I don’t particularly like angst, but I love the way it hurts, y’know? Not sure if I want this to have a happy ending or not (in a second part) and honestly I’m leaning towards the latter, I love pain and I have no idea what would happen. Also, peep the “tattoo” in the header its relevant to the story ahaha
Thank you everyone for the support and love, it means the world to me that people enjoyed my Kacchan representation! Lemme give you smooches.
Big smooches to @tteokdoroki and @sightoru for making me feel good about hurting them🤧❤️
» Masterlist | Requests
The sun had awakened and was promptly emerging through the hazy sky. The cloudy layer created a gloomy blanket from the sun. You jolted awake, your neck aching from your sleeping position and you twisted your head side to side to relieve some of the pain, before reaching for your phone and holding the bright screen to your face to check the time. Alas, the screen was turned off without registering the time nor how long were you asleep for.
You lifted your eyes to see the grey out the window in front of you. With that fog, the trees and buildings never ended, they floated upwards, seemingly as endless as beanstalks. Reaching your head back, it met the wooden counter. You were in the kitchen, fell asleep on the floor and slumped against the counters, the empty bottle laying across from you a reminder of the event that transpired the previous night - maybe morning? You didn't really know.
You lazily extended your legs in front of you, eyeing your sock-clad feet and the tattoo that peaked from the clothing. Blooming lilacs that danced and branched out, the stem wrapping around your ankle oh so loosely, almost teasingly. Lilacs that represented happiness and tranquility, which you have never felt more far from.
Remembering the old days, the better days, you with your poofy dress, so blindingly pink it demanded everyone's attention, giggling with your friends that adorned similar attire to yours, showing each other the tattoos that hugged your ankles, in endless shapes and sizes, dreaming about who the lucky person you’ll share your tattoo with would be, who was lucky enough to capture your heart and claim it as their own, and offering theirs in return.
Bedtime stories were your favorite quality time with your mother, where you’d both forget about the story cradled in her hands and you’d spend your night tracing the few tattoos that scattered across her arms. Asking her how could she love so many people and have them love her in return before loving her husband - your father - the only person she was meant to be with, only to wait with bated breath for an answer you already heard so many times you probably memorized it by now. You’d be entranced at the way her eyes always softened, a light gleaming in them as she would explain to you, again and again, with no sign of ever getting bored, how she have never and would never regret the people she loved, because in some twisted way of the universe, it led her to the father of her beautiful child, that snuggled her in her princess bed.
Alas, asking her how you came to the world received a totally different reaction, and you refrained from asking her that again until later on in life.
Whenever your grandma visited, you’d run to hug her old and withered body, apologizing when she would howl about her aching back and dragging her to sit with the excuse to help her rest, but you both knew you wanted to hear stories, your teenage self was so ready to fall in love, so excited to have a piece of someone you adored with all your heart decorating your skin, inking it in the most beautiful forms of promise.
She always made her past lovers sound like prince charmings right out of a novel, the kind of guys with the power and confidence that seemed perfect in every way. The kind of guys schoolgirls woke up and went to school for in the morning. The kind of guys that hit women of all ages right between the eyes every time they were seen and stirred up their fantasies.
And by God, did you not realize that your grandmother wasn't spewing bullshit after all these years, because there he was, a storm in each step he took, fire in his knuckles erupting and seething with fierceness. He was an explosion of bare, raw, real mystery. A soft caress of the wind, warm sand, and pure silence. He was colors and textures and shapes and designs, all combined together in an artistic canvas that thrived for attention but wouldn't stoop to admitting it.
You remembered the day your lilacs embellished his shoulder, shyly peeking through his hero suit, claiming everyone’s attention on their petals as they swayed on his skin, the attention of the media as the shoulder of the hero, Dynamight, was showcased on social media, people envying whoever was able to capture the exploding hero’s heart.
As if he wasn’t capable of love, they didn't see what you saw, they will never have the privilege, because when he dropped the façade of the hero, he’d come home to you, knock on your apartment door and you’d flee to open it to him to lay your eyes on him, a tired laugh, sore muscles, a teasing glint in crimson eyes, golden hair tasseled after a sleepless night. He was secure embraces oozing with warmth. He was toughness and hardness, perfectly mixed in with trust and care.
It was at that day it happened, in the middle of the living room while the newsman was talking nonsense about the hero, the warmth wrapped around your wrist, gripping it like a vice with no intention of letting go; yes it burned, you remembered the sting, it just paled in comparison to the warmth in your chest, the warmth of the tears escaping your eyes as you held your wrist close to your chest, happily whispering about how this was what love felt like. You also recalled that it was at that exact moment the hero, your hero, walked into your apartment, dropping everything and running the small distance to your hunched body to grab at your wrist to inspect the damage he thought was done to it.
Only for his eyes to meet that one wretched inking he loathed all his life, the - meaningless doodles, he’d call them - that blemished his skin, he remembered the remarks, how no one would be able to share that blotch of his with him because who could ever love him? Who could ever endure him, with all of that ego and all of that anger? And as time passed, he believed it, he believed them, that he wasn’t worthy to be loved, that he was only meant to save, not be saved as well, not even from himself.
But there you were, there you fucking were, crying and laughing and struggling to breath as you repeated the words you’ve been dying to confess,
“I love you, Katsuki.”
Suddenly, that speckle that was always hidden under his socks brought him happiness, brought him love, and damn did he deserve it, because he fought for it, he endured hell for it, and there you were, wrapped around his arm and repeating those three words against his lips between heated kisses.
He was pleasure and lust. Rough groans and mutual needs. A burning touch. Your name hanging by his lips, breathless kisses and hair-tugging and hot flesh against hot flesh.
He was an illusion you thought it'll never materialize, and yet here he was.
Here he was, all highs and lows, smiles and frowns, softness and roughness, carefulness and danger. Here he was, a tiny spark of thunder, sparkling with passion, loyalty and dedication, protection, satisfaction, confidence and love.
Here he was…
Where was he?
The inking you used to spend hours admiring now haunts you, the design that used to whirl and twirl across your wrist as you hummed while tracing it now felt like shackles, squeezing so tight against you as you tried to break free. The black almost shrouded by the coats of metallic red that spilled from your attempts of escape. The dark crimson that matches his eyes, the eyes you know you won't forget, you know you don't want to forget, no matter how you’ll feel better if you do.
The girl staring right at you through the distorted reflection created by the dishwasher judged you, all mangled and blurry, yet the tear stains and numb eyes are hard to ignore, easily cutting through the deformed reflection.
You and the girl in front of you envied your friend, the aromantic that was never interested to fall in love, only possessing their own tattoo that graced their ankle, with no one else's accompanying it, sure it looked lonely on some days, but who were you to judge?
You remembered what they always told you, that it wasn't always the fairy tales your family fed you. They told you about their mother, who had an affair and fell in love, spending almost a year hiding the tattoo of her fling from her husband before being caught, they told you how their father was broken beyond repair, he who also was so drunk on the idea of falling in love and being loved in return, just like you were for all those years. They told you of the heart break that you might have to face when your partner’s inking is embedded into you, but not the other way around, how you had to decide whether to wait for your own personal design to mark its location onto them or leave, always being haunted by the part of them that you can't get rid of, no matter what you do.
They never told you about this kind of heartbreak though, the one where you’re both so in love, so happy, destined to be together forever, because what could possibly go wrong?
You never got the answer to that, you remembered asking him as he dragged his suitcase out of the apartment, the tears cascading down his face never answered you as he apologized again and again, mumbled how you deserved to be loved by someone that wasn’t him, babbled about him not deserving you. About how he won’t ever love someone besides you when he caught your eye scanning whatever was visible of his arms, in fear of finding out a piece of someone that wasn't yourself.
You finally got up, legs numb and steps wobbly from sitting on the floor for so long, you eyed the door, still unlocked after his leave a couple of hours ago - maybe more it's still unclear - no urge of yours strong enough to get you up to lock it again. You moved slowly, as if the shuffle of your feet is causing you pain, and in a way, it did, because you know when you reach the living room couch, there won't be the warm arms that engulfed you, because what else did you have other than the warmth you surrounded yourself with when you told him to hold you close to him?
That's right, nothing.
As you laid down on the couch and allowed yourself to be suffocated by the scent of caramel, you cursed at all the fantasies and dreams that clouded your mind day and night, you frowned and scrunched your nose at the scent that used to mean love and warmth, but now only burnt your nose and teared up your eyes.
A constant reminder, just like the defaced wrist you brought closer to inspect and hissing when the cold air bit at it. You recalled the lilacs and swore at them, the same lilacs that symbolized love and passion, but looking more withered and torn the more you looked at them.
Good, guess they know how I feel.
if you want to be tagged with for any of my fics let me know ♡
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SF9 comforting their sad S/O will include:
SF9 x GN! Reader mini headcanons.
Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.
Author's Note: Ya girl is sad. She's had two continuous shitty days and wanted to feel a lil comforted. Classes are taking a toll on me so do enjoy this piece I wrote in like 2 hours because I finally got time😭. It's probably bad 💀💀
Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍
Warnings: All ages and all readers (nothing specified with respect to gender, appearance, etc of reader).
He would want to find out who or what made you sad at first. If it's an actual person, they are doomed because he's gonna get angry
You remember that time on a JaeBin Vlive when a fan mentioned that their boyfriend cheated on them? Yeah kinda like that
Will definitely give great advice while hugging you
Pets your hair
Gives you a head massage if you have a headache due to all the crying
Forces you to take a nap
He's gonna be like a bright and positive mirror of sorts, showing you the nicer outlook on things and your problems, helping you change your perspective to a healthier one
The first thing he does probably is a sad pout because his baby is sad 🥺
Embraces you in his arms, makes you feel small and protected for some reason I always forget that's he's one of the tall ones
He talks to you till you calm down and are ready to talk
Even if you aren't sure you want to talk about the problem, he will go on till you are comfortable and ready
Makes you a hot beverage of choice
Cuddles you to sleep.
No really. He doesn't move. Doesn't let you move.
You just accept defeat and fall asleep while laying on top of him
He would like to establish a small physical touch first and foremost
Will take your tiny hand in his and rubs his thumb over your knuckles
Kinda like testing waters, to see if it's okay for him to hug you and carry you to bed
Once he gets a positive reaction to his action, he become protective boyfriend 101
Looks at you with big curious eyes
Offers you soft smiles when you look at him
Kisses your face sweetly while squishing your cheeks
Starts humming a soft tune, like a lullaby to soothe your mental pain
Will cry if you cry
You don't even have to be visibly upset for him to know something is wrong
Makes the stupidest jokes ever lol
Prays with everything that those will work
If they don't, no worries
He sets up an impromptu mini date on the terrace
Goes all out to make you smile
If you wanna talk, he's all ears and listens to every detail as though his life depends on it
Once all your feelings are out of your system, he gently guides you to your feet
Takes your hands and puts them around his body and hugs you while dancing side to side
Our fav tall baby boy
What will he not do if you're sad
Picks you up like a child
Holds you close to his body
Cooks you something sweet
Puts on your fav show or movie
Great at providing distractions
Sings you to comfort
No matter what happened, he assures you that it won't happen again, and even if does happen he'll be there to remind you about how you've overcome this situation already once and that you have the strength to endure it again
His face becomes so small when he sees you sad omg
Pouts and walks over to you to hold you against him
Hides your head in his chest
If you're laying on the couch then he hugs you lika a koala on a stick
Beckons his cute cats over to cuddle with you both
They rub themselves against your bodies this feeling is so serotonin filling
Kisses the apple of your cheek a lot
Back rubs and belly rubs to have any form of touch
Plays with your hair and fingers till you slip into slumber
He'll slowly and carefully slip out of you and cooks you something so that when you wake up, you can eat your tummy full
This gif omg
Our lovely sunshine
All he's gotta do is give you his sunshine smile and you're done for
But sunshine's a lil cloudy because the star he revolves around is upset :(
Pouty baby but he's ready to fight, if necessary
Rubs you tears away for you 🥺
Takes you on a lovely stroll in the park, hand in hand, swinging back and forth
Picks up pretty flowers for you
If you don't feel like going out, he will sway with you in your living room to soft music
Hums along with the music while his sky becomes less cloudy :)
Opens his arms wide open for you to run up to him forgetting all your worries
Hugs you tight enough to block the air flow of your lungs
Caresses your cheeks and shoulders
Somehow, even I don't know how, convinced you to get ready to go outside
You go to a coffee shop, your favorite, first and then you go to his cat cafe
Once you find a comfortable spot there, he coerces you to cuddle him not caring what people think
Seeing you both so close to each other, the cats are naturally drawn to you both
Gives you great and deep life advice that he stole from Youngbin 💀
Kisses the side of your head soo many times there's probably a dent there now
Straight up asks you what you want him to do
He'll do anything for you
Even be nice and accept his hyungs' affections
If you have no answer, he will help you change into comfy clothes, make you tea, wrap you up in a blanket burrito like a newborn, sit behind you and help you drink the tea
Once you've consumed that, he will slowly start talking about his day, pausing after each significant event, waiting patiently for your input
Realizing that his voice is making you feel drowsy, he continues to talk to you about the randomest stuff until you enter a state of slumber in his warm embrace
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i still do | kageyama tobio
pairings. kageyama tobio x reader
an. i had a good sleep today so im gonna give you all an angst HAHAHAHAHAHA
it was one in the morning, and yet, here you are staring at your laptop wondering how to magically finish all your paper works without lifting any muscles.
your phone rang for the second time now, still debating whether to answer it or leave it like that. but upon seeing the caller's name, you instantly regret not answering it immediately.
you hastly grab your phone and tap the answer button with your heart beat racing as if it wants to get out of your body.
"hey." you tried to sound casual but it came too soft for your liking.
"y/n, i need to ask you something." he said.
"hmm?" you hummed as you bit your fingernails out of nervousness.
"it's about my girlfriend." his voice was too mellow that it hurts you so bad. your heart once again, broken by him– kageyama tobio.
was it a year already? how could time be so fast? how could two years passed by quickly and how could a year after the break up be so slow?
his memories with you still lingers on your mind and will be forever etched in your heart, no sign of forgetting about it.
"what about your girlfriend?" you wanted to shout and cussed at him for calling you at this wee hours to talk about the girl you somehow hate, if you only can.
"she wanted to end our relationship. she said that im too engrossed with volleyball." his voice was laced with sadness, regret and hurt.
"and?" you could feel that he didn't finish what he's suppose to say.
"but you never complained about it." he added.
"that's how madly and deeply inlove i am to you." you chuckled. hiding the fact that you could feel your tears threatening to fall. "but hey, you can't expect everyone to have the same tolerance. it doesn't mean that i handled it well on the past, your girlfriend should also do the same. im sure she's hurting now, you don't want that right? " you nipped you fingernails attempting to stop your tears from falling.
"she can't always adjust with what you want, you have to do something for her too. and in this case, all she ever need was your affection and attention. you should've known that by now, tobio." you sighed as you blankly stare at your plain wall.
"yeah. thank you, y/n. this means a lot to me. i really love her, you know."
"yes, i am well aware of that." you laughed at that trying to ease the atmosphere.
"im sorry if i called you at this hour. i know that you're busy and you probably didn't want to hear my problem. but im desperate and you're the only one i can call for."
"dude, you have hinata what are you talking about?" you joked.
"its- its different... you used to love me."
"you're not sure with that." then you chuckled. trying to soothe yourself from the pain.
"im sorry that i left you." you where taken aback. you couldn't utter any words to say. the tears pooled on your eyes that you have to look up to prevent it from falling. you whimpered, you're not sure if he heard it, but you hope he didn't.
"i was a jerk for doing that to you, who only loved me and endured me all throughout." you heard him sighed. "believe me, i really loved you back then and i feel bad breaking up with you. but- it just feel so wrong that i couldn't love you as much as you love me. you deserve so much more, you deserve better."
"i know, tobio. i know." you mumbled.
"so this is what late night calls feels like." you chuckled.
damn! that hurts hahahahaha.
"i should hung up now. i really need to talk to her. i.. i don't want to lose her."
"i still do."
then you hung up. not wanting to hear what he'll say to you and most especially not wanting him to hear your painful sob.
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That Blonde Girl | s.r
Synopsis: Looking at Spencer with someone else never gets easier, but seeing him with someone he doesn’t even love, just to get over you, makes it even worse.
Based on Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo <3
Warnings: angst, slight age gap (8+ years?), lots of sad memories
Loving Spencer came with a price. It came with turmoil, highs and lows, severe loneliness and lots of tears. But through all of those, he was the one person I wanted to share my greatest accomplishments and memories with. Any time I had good news, it was Spencer I turned to for support and happiness. We talked so much about the things we both wanted to eventually do with our lives. I remember calling him ecstatic when I passed my gun test for the BAU. He knew how afraid I was to even be in possession of the weapon, and cheered so loud for me when I came to his apartment with the paperwork and a huge smile on my face. One time, he surprised me with cupcakes when he told me about the teaching job he acquired at a nearby college. Knowledge was his passion, and sharing it with others made his heart sore; he wanted to teach, and he was a natural at it.
But, throughout those happy moments, were some of the toughest we ever endured as friends. There were times I aimlessly drove around the block of his apartment building wanting so bad to knock on his door and cry to him about how upset and heartbroken he made me, and he didn’t even see it, nor apologize for it. I never asked for it, because he was never around to deliver it. I guess it is partly my fault for how things went. The love I had for Spencer Reid was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Hearing his name gave me goosebumps, feeling his presence made my skin burn with excitement. Spencer’s smile just about made me go weak in the knees and his laugh...I wanted to hear it the rest of my life over anything else. But did I ever express that to him? No. I wrote it down plenty of times, said it in the mirror to myself, sang about it in my car as if I was talking straight to him, but whenever I came around to saying it, it’s like my throat was closed off and words couldn’t describe how I felt.
That’s how JJ came into the picture. Emily said she had assumed Spencer and I would get together at some point, but after so long of being just friends she assumed it was fair game to finally come clean about her own feelings. Who am I kidding, that blonde girl always made me doubt. She’s so much older than me, closer to Reid’d age. She is absolutely everything I was ever insecure about when it came to myself. She was slim, had gorgeous eyes that lit up her face, a smile that could stop a show room, and she had Reid. Most of those car rides filled with my delusion of telling Spencer I love him also included self deprecation of how I couldn’t be anything JJ was. It was obvious why he said yes to dating her, and I continued to question my self worth. How could I ever love someone else.
I watched across the room at them, his hand on her lower back laughing with the rest of the team as I put files away, very slowly I might add. They all could see the pain in my eyes, and didn’t want to pester me anymore. I’m sure they were all tired anyway, of the way I missed him and how highly I talked of him. But, I kind of feel sorry for them in that regard, because they’ll never get to know him the way that I do. I know Spencer better than the back of my hand, I know every curve, twist, and turn of his heart. He doesn’t even need to look at me for me to know what is going on inside his crazy little mind. That was probably part of our downfall of friendship. He hated how easily I could read him, especially when it came to his mom. That was his one secret he thought he could keep from the group. I worried too much, he kept too much from me. I got too passionate during fights, and he didn’t know how to deal with these angry feelings he had. In a way we were polar opposites that complimented and destroyed each other all in the same way. But that was Spencer and I, and I never wanted that to change.
But he left.
He didn’t want to be my friend anymore, so I had to learn to be without him.
I could feel someone coming up next to me in the file room, and stood in front of me with sad eyes and a smile.
“Hey there.” She said softly.
“Hi Tara.” I replied, barely looking up at her eyes.
“You need help sorting? It seems you’ve been in here forever.” She asked shyly.
“C’mon, you know why I’m in here.”
“Yea, I know. But Rossi’s having another dinner party and they asked me to come over here to see if you’d come?” I glanced back to the group, to find the tall scientists eyes looming over us. He loosened his grip on JJ, sighing. A tear threatened to escape my eye, but before it could I straightened up and took a deep breath.
“Tara, do you understand how hard that is going to be for me?” She eyed me, knowing it was probably stupid to ask me, but worth a shot.
“We miss you though. We hate that you’ve been by yourself for the last year every night.”
“Well maybe that’s what I like now. It’s better than watching that.”
“You know the best way at rendering a broken heart is getting all dressed up, hanging out with your best friends, and getting just a little drunk.” I laughed, she had a point. I did miss hanging out with the team, especially my girls. And maybe Luke...yea, we’ll throw him in there.
“Fine. I’ll text you what I’m wearing for approval.” She smiled and gave me a small hug. Oh what awaits me for this night.
A few hours later...
I arrived in a black slip dress with thin straps and matching black heels at Rossi’s door. Tara immediately told me to wear this dress when she saw my closet on Facetime, and the shoes too. My hair was down, cascading down the open back of my dress. For once in almost a year I felt pretty confident about myself, but I knew that would change when I would see whatever masterpiece JJ was wearing, along with her handsome man. I don’t know if I could hold it together if I saw him in anything but work clothes. But here goes nothing.
Luke opened the door and picked me up while hugging me.
“It’s so good that you’re here Y/N. Really good.” He said in my ear. He put me down and I instantly got watery eyes. His thumb came up under my eyes to stop anything from coming out. “Hey, no crying here, tonight is going to be a good night okay?” I nodded and followed him inside to see everybody else. Rossi was cooking and gave me a BIG hello, the girls were sitting with their glasses of wine and then there was the happy couple. JJ was wearing a white jumpsuit, a masterpiece like I thought. And Spencer...my mouth fell open slightly. He was wearing a dark navy button up with the first couple of buttons undone, and a black pair of dress pants. His gold watch on display, definitely highlighting his vieny hands, and his hair in perfect messy curls.
“Wow gorgeous! You look stunning!” Garcia exclaimed, spinning me around.
“Uh huh, I told you that outfit would be a showstopper.” Tara said, raising her glass of wine.
“And I have you to thank, I will be contacting you every time I’m in a fashion crisis.”
I looked over at JJ, seeing she was looking at me, and she complimented my attire.
“You really do look great Y/N.” She said sincerely.
“Are you kidding? This pantsuit is amazing.” I tried to play it off that I wasn’t buzzing inside.
“Thanks, Reid helped pick it out a few days ago. Wasn’t sure if I could pull it off but I actually love it. And it has pockets!” We all shared a small laugh. My eyes caught the doctor, his eyes never once left me.
“You do have nice taste Spencer.” He had a tight lipped smile, and responded back.
“Black was always your best color.” It was quiet and short, but it made the hairs on my arms stand up nonetheless.
As we all ate, I couldn’t help but find Spencer every time I looked up from my food. It was a force of habit it seemed. I always spotted Spencer first. I always wanted to know how he reacted to things, whether he was laughing, smiling, or even feeling down. In the time we’ve known each other, I know we have never perfect, not even close. But, I had never felt the way I did for him, for anyone else. No one had my love like he did. Seeing his hand hold hers under the table, look at her first to see her reactions, felt like my chest was being squeezed by his hand, until there was no more. I never imagined he’d be so okay now that I’m gone. I never thought I wouldn’t matter to him. I guess all those things he ever said to me about being his person, his best friend, his everything, were things he never meant. And now here I am suffering, alone.
It got to a point where I had to step away from dinner, telling the group I just had to get some fresh air. I played it off as I had been feeling sick the whole day, but they all knew the reason, I think even JJ knew. But I excused myself kindly, and walked towards the backyard, out of view from the group.
As I shut the door, a wale of tears overwhelmed my senses and I broke down on Rossi’s backyard steps. My wrists covered my eyes, I hunched over trying to control my sobs, flashbacks of the past year playing in slow motion. What did I do wrong? What could I have done better? Why wasn’t I enough for Spencer? Why didn’t he fight for me? It all came at me so fast. It made my heart pound louder in my ears, my sobs coming one after another after another. I prayed for it to stop, I just wanted the pain to stop.
Soon after, I heard the backyard door open, assuming it was Tara or even Luke. But, oh, I was dead wrong.
“Did I really hurt you that badly?” His voice cracked. My head whipped around and I stood up, flattening out my dress.
“Spencer just go I don’t need this right now. We don’t need this discussion right now.” I didn’t even try to wipe away my tears, I wanted him to see how broken I was. And that it was his fault.
“But you know I hate seeing you cry, and especially if it’s because of me.”
“Well it is because of you!” I shot my arms up. “God, Spencer, for the past year it’s been because of you! The old me, would’ve taken everything you threw at me but let me tell you about the new me. The new me won’t put up with any of your shit anymore. I won’t put myself through pain watching you out there with your new happy life.” I spat. “And you don’t get to show up now, and try to apologize or reconcile things. That shipped sailed a year ago. You had the chance Spencer, but no you decided to take the easy way out and be with someone who I know you don’t.” At this point Spencer’s eyes filled with tears, trying hard to think of something to say, but there wasn’t anything he could come up with. “We can’t come back from this. Our friendship withheld a lot but not this. It hurts so much.” My voice cracked, and I looked away from him trying to regain some kind of composure. “I’m just going to get my stuff and go.”
As I walked past him to the backyard door, his words pull me out of my angry line of vision.
“I love you.” It was as if time stood still, and I dropped my hand from the door knob. My head turned back to look at him. “I’ve loved you since you first walked in through those glass doors, wearing all black. I love you. I loved you when you’d compliment my mix matched socks when everyone else thought it was bizarre. I love you. That day you spilled burning hot coffee on both of us in the jet was one of the best days I ever had with you because we both had to wear the ugly clothes they kept for us in the back and everyone laughed at us but we stuck it out. I love you.” He began walking closer to me. “That day you walked out of my apartment and vowed to never speak to me again, that was the day I wanted to tell you I love you, I meant to say it. I fucking meant to say it and I have kicked myself everyday for a year for not saying it to you, but I do. I really love you.” His hand came to caress my cheek, and I sobbed into the palm of his hand, remembering that day perfectly. “I love the way you find the good in little things, like the snow and bow ties on presents. I love that you could sing so good at the top of your lungs but still say you could never make it on Idol. I love that you make me love you in more ways than I can keep up with. I love you, and I promise you, from this day forward I will say it everyday to you. I will continue to remind you and do anything for you for you to believe in me.”
“What about JJ, Spencer?” I felt guilty, having him say this to me with full truth in his eyes yet his date was right through those doors.
“I think in some part of her she always knew. You don’t know how many times she caught me staring at pictures of you that we had taken together, or writing about you in my journals. If JJ’s as good a friend as I think she is, I think she’d want me to be happy.” His other hand came up to my cheek, holding me to delicately, making me look up at him. I cried trying to keep my eyes down. “I don’t know what’s bound to happen in 5 minutes before we walk through those doors, but all I know is I want this feeling to keep going. This love I have for you, I don’t ever want it to stop. I’m not ready for us to be over.”
“Spence, you know how in those rom com movies I love to watch, after a big speech, the couple gets to kiss?” My streaky eyes met his, as hope filled his entire face.
“Yea, I do.” He laughed.
“Please do that for me.” And without hesitation, he did.
His lips crashed onto mine, molding together perfectly, creating the moment I had dreamt about since I met him. His kisses were filled with passion and romance, barely coming up to breath, as if air wasn’t essential to live anymore, but kissing me was. He held me so close, afraid of ever letting me go again.
“Forever?” He said in between kisses, his lips still touching mine.
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War Rages On: part 3 (Bucky Barnes imagine)
A/N: if you don’t want to cry, word of advice, don’t listen to anything remotely sad. I literally have 3 potential endings to this story, don’t know which one I’ll choose. Part 4 will have a lot more action and part 5 will probably be the last. Don’t forget to keep tissue close by while reading ;) - enjoy!
Previously: part 1 - part 2
When Bucky walked inside the building he had once lived in, he felt anxious. Not for himself, but for Y/N. During the two hours his ride in the air lasted, he envisioned a thousand possibilities this could play out. He needed her to make it out of there. Whatever he would have to endure, he’d agree to any kind of torture so long as she was safe. He knew he wouldn’t bear to add her name to his already long list of victims. Her only fault had been to fall in love with him. It couldn’t lead her to death, not like this, not because of him. He would never allow Hydra to break the only pieces left of him she had managed to glue back together.
He knew the place by heart, so finding the cells where they would usually keep all their prisoners was fairly easy. Focused on the task, he was taking slow, measured breaths, watching every step he was making, avoiding the guards and the security cameras. He was silent. A ghost. He stopped at an entrance and sneaked out behind a soldier standing by the door. With a swift motion, he broke his neck and used his badge to access the place. Every movement felt rehearsed, a routine he had done a million times. He was mimicking the Winter Soldier with a perfection that still surprised him. He had almost reached the end of an endless hallway of empty cells when he stopped in his track.
“Y/N” He whispered. There she was on the dirty floor, laying right in front of him. She wasn’t moving and from the distance, she looked pale. Too pale to be alive.
“Y/N!” He repeated louder, not caring if anybody could hear him.
She didn’t answer, didn’t even move an inch. He took a tentative step toward her, afraid of what he would see when he would open the door. He raised his metal arm and grabbed the lock, tearing it apart in a swift motion. The gesture was effortless, the power colossal. He didn’t even blinked, his eyes remaining always on her frail figure. He slowly bent down, trying to ignore the bruises visible through her half-torn shirt and the dried blood everywhere on the floor. He laid a fearful finger on her throat and waited a second. Finally, he released a shaky breath, relieved beyond measure when he felt her heartbeat. She was alive.
Gently cupping her face, he brushed a hand against her cheek. His heart broke when he saw the shadow of a smile forming on her lips.
“Bucky” She muttered in contentment.
“Yes, doll. I’m here”
She didn’t open her eyes but tears slowly coursed their way down her face. Her lips parted and she leaned against his hand, inhaling deeply.
“We have to go, Y/N”
“You feel so real,” She answered. “Why do you feel so real ?”
She sounded upset, but not because of him. She could make out every detail, his scent, his voice, his touch. She wondered what kind of cruel game her subconscious was playing as she let his presence submerge her entirely. He raised his eyebrows in confusion, not understanding that, for her, there was no way he could be there. She had spent the last couple of days picturing him in her mind to ease the pain, to escape the torture. He was the fragment of her imagination keeping her alive. Her last shred of strength.
“Am I dying ?” She murmured. “Is that why you’re here ?”
“Y/N, open your eyes” He demanded with force.
“You’ll disappear. You always do” She sounded broken, on the verge of snapping, but kept them closed.
“I promise I won’t” His voice cracked with every word, overwhelmed by the pain and helplessness when she spoke.
She grabbed his wrist, holding it tightly as she slowly opened her eyes. Her whole body was shaking, afraid the soothing sensation of his skin on hers would be gone and she would only see an empty room once again. It took her a moment to realize he wouldn't disappear and she started sobbing. Her shaky hands cupped his face, wiping his own tears. He gently laid his forehead against hers and she didn’t waste any more time and hugged him. She clung to him, her only safe place, as the battle for the remaining shred of her sanity raged. She tried to catch her breath but it was useless. This was days of emotions bottled up to survive, days of dreaming she could return to him.
“We’re gonna be okay” He kept saying, holding her tightly.
“Bucky …” She choked in despair. This was the safest she had felt in days.
“I’m here, doll”
He swallowed and blinked a couple of times, trying to stay strong and not break down.
“We have to hurry, Y/N” He reminded her after a while.
His voice seemed to bring her back to reality and she suddenly sat up, ignoring the dizziness and the pain it instantly ignited in her body.
“No, no, no, you have to leave!” She started begging, furiously shaking her head and clenched his shirt in desperation. “You can’t be here! You can’t! Please … Please go ”
“You don’t understand, they … they want you, Bucky. They’re using me to get to you” She put some distance between them and pushed him away when he tried to get closer. “You have to go”
“Not without you”
“You’re not listening!” She replied, frustrated.
“I am! And I am telling you i’m not leaving without you!”
He stood up and helped her do the same. She couldn’t hold on her own, too weak and tired. She pressed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself and his metal arm circled her waist.
“I’m taking you home”
“I don’t think so” A voice with a thick accent replied behind him.
The former assassin cursed under his breath and was quick to react. He pushed Y/N behind him, hiding her wounded body from the intruder. Suddenly on high alert, he stared at the man he once knew, a man hired by Hydra with the sole purpose of creating new super soldiers. He was the brain behind the Winter Soldier program. The Sergeant subconsciously grabbed the woman by her hip, bringing her as close to him as possible.
“Dr.Faustus” He greeted him without sympathy.
“At last we are reunited, soldier”
Bucky clenched his jaw so tight his veins were now visible. In all the time he had spent away from Hydra, he never thought he would come face to face with the doctor ever again. All their encounters had been turned into a distant memory, another one of his nightmares. The Sergeant was unexpectedly conflicted, like two parts of him smashing against each other for the first time, two very different men colliding together without his consent. The broken one felt scared, powerless, becoming once again a victim, while the assassin was already on the lookout, trying to find his way out of there.
Y/N could feel it. Hidden behind him, she laid her forehead on his back, defeated. His muscles were tensed under the pressure of his emotions and his grip on her hip tightened. She couldn’t contain her terror and silently cried. How could she save him now that they had him back ? What could she do when her body was in no shape to fight ?
“I wouldn’t advise trying to escape” The man spoke.
“You know I don’t back down without a fight” Bucky replied, eyeing the three agents surrounding the doctor. They were outnumbered.
“You might want to reconsider this time” He smirked viciously.
He made a step toward the couple, moving like a snake reading to suffocate its prey by strengthening its hold around their neck.
“Before you think about taking them down,” Hydra’s doctor began, pointing at the agents next to him “You should know she won’t survive. You see, the girl serves no purpose anymore. She was a mean to an end and she played her part perfectly. She got you right where we wanted you to be, up against a wall”
Bucky gritted his teeth in silent fury.
“I’m assuming she means a great deal to you, soldat” He sniggered irritatingly. He seemed to enjoy the emotional torture. “Now the real question is, how far are you willing to take this to save her life?”
Bucky looked around him and just felt a rage he couldn’t explain, a will to survive he never had before. Y/N grabbed the hand on her hip, entwining their fingers, and he closed his eyes. For a short instant, he held onto that comforting sensation, the sense of home she could bring to him by the simplest touch. He remembered the day they met, the exact moment he had fallen in love with her and the day they had promised forever to each other. He had a collection of precious memories they had built, engraved in his heart, and each one of them had the power to lessen his pain and lighten the weight on his shoulders. They needed more time to create their magic, to turn the horror they had endured into sparkles of distant memories. More time to live the life she had given back to him. But even more so, he needed her to survive.
“If I surrender myself, what guarantee do I have you’ll let her go ?” He offered.
“No!” Y/N shouted, trying to move around Bucky. He didn’t have to use much effort to push her back.
The doctor laughed, pleased his plan was working flawlessly. He turned on his heels and nodded at one of the soldiers next to him. The man took a phone out of his pocket and handed it to the former assassin.
“What is this ?” Bucky questioned him, ignoring the pleading eyes of the woman begging him to not give in.
“A message” Dr.Faustus replied. “With coordinates to this place, addressed to your Captain”
“This isn’t enough”
“Press the button and send it yourself, then”
Bucky gave him a wary look but took the phone nonetheless.
“I have a condition” He raised his eyes to stare at the man.
“You are in no position to negotiate, soldat”
“If you want me to follow you willingly, you will listen”
He pursed his lips in annoyance.
Bucky glanced back at his girlfriend, barely holding on her legs but still ready to kill him herself for what he was about to do.
“Let me have a moment with her” He pleaded, his voice deep with emotions.
“If you plan to escape …”
“I won’t” He cut him with a promise he would keep.
He seemed to ponder his options for a moment before he gave a nod, accepting the request. Bucky dropped his head in defeat and pressed the button on the phone screen, sending the message to Steve and praying he would be there soon to get her out of there.
The doctor turned around, gesturing to the other agents. In less than a minute, the room was empty and they were alone for what would probably be their last moment together. Bucky made a step toward the woman, knowing whatever time they had it would never be enough, but before he could do anything she gathered all the strength she had left and slapped him across the face.
“I hate you!” She shouted, tears streaming down her face. “I hate you!”
He had expected her anger but her words still hurt him. He couldn’t begin to understand what she was feeling when his own heart was already being torn apart.
“I had to…”
“Why didn’t you fight ?” She choked. “Why … why did you gave up on us ?”
“I gave up on me!” He told her in a deep voice, quickly closing the distance between them and cupping her face with force. “I’m choosing you over me”
“There is no me without you, Bucky” She muttered
“They don’t know the Winter Soldier is no longer here” He told her, trying to reassure her. “Whatever they have plan for me, it’s not gonna work”
“You don’t know that”
He laid his forehead on hers and a tear on his own rolled down his cheek.
“I know I need you to stay alive. I’ve lived on borrowed time long enough, Y/N, maybe …”
“Don’t you dare!” She cried, pushing him away. She struggled to stay on her feet but she couldn’t seem to care. “I swear to god, Bucky, I will kill you myself if you dare giving up now!”
“Steve is gonna find you and bring you back” He continued.
She shook her head and her eyes grew hot, the tears welling so quickly it was impossible to blink them away.
“Please don’t break my heart” She whispered.
His lips started trembling and he choked on a small but audible sob. Losses after losses, he had shed his own shade of tears, had been broken beyond measure and brought to hell. This was something else. Pain had a sweet taste of horror and self-hatred when it was felt under the power of all his sanity.
“Let me hold you” He begged her.
Despite her anger, she didn’t waste any time and sank her face into his chest, letting him comfort both of them. He kept her close, looking down at her with gleaming eyes, wishing he never had to let go as he tightened his arms around her.
“I love you” He spoke right next to her ear. “Like I’ve never thought it was possible to love. You picked up every pieces of me you could find and glued them back together. You built the man I am today from scratch with your kindness, your resilience and your love. You gave me a second chance, and a second life by your side, and what a life it has been. You are my world, my soul, but most importantly, my home. You will always have me, doll.”
“Don’t say goodbye like that” She muttered, an aching wound opening deep in her chest as the tears kept falling.
“This isn’t goodbye, I’ll make damn sure of that. Wherever you are is where I am too. That’s the deal we made, right ? I’m with you till the end of the line”
“This is the end of our line” She forced up the words.
He raised her chin with a finger to look into her eyes and in that moment they kissed, together in each other's protective embrace.
“It will never be”
“Promise me you’ll give them hell”
“I promise I’ll fight with everything I have”
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"I love you more than the sky and the ground but I can’t do this anymore."
Warnings: Fighting, heavy language
Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader
Summary: A fight between lovers.
(Loves, my darlings, when I tell you writing this broke my heart, it truly did. It really hurt to write as I was putting my own words, my own experiences into this piece. It is alright to be heartbroken, it is alright to hurt.)
When you and Sirius broke up, the entirety of Hogwarts knew within minutes, some in the Gryffindor house knew within seconds due to the loudness and ferocity of your fight. It seemed as you both had gotten older, the fighting became more constant. No longer were the two of you young and flowing with the cool autumn breeze of Hogwarts. War was upon you and was nearly palpable to the touch so it was bound to cause tension between every teenager and teacher at Hogwarts. The fight? You couldn’t even remember what spurred it and caused it to ignite. However, you could feel the red, anger searing through your veins as you yelled out at your boyfriend. Maybe the fight was about your constant studying, Sirius’ blatant flirting with other girls, or the fact that you hadn’t actually spent any quality time together within the past month. Any moment you two were alone was spent sleeping, on opposite sides of the bed with the duvet as a divider between you two. It was odd, though you didn’t spend as much time with Sirius anymore, your heart still beat steadily for him. Nevertheless, it was difficult not to fight with Sirius. He had the tendency to be quite dramatic and go overboard with fights with his hot-headed self. Usually, your fights ended with a sigh and a tight hug with whispers of apologies. However, this fight, you knew, would end horribly.
Sirius’ shirt was unbuttoned and his eyes were sharp while his lips were drawn in a line. His cheeks were flushed from the yelling and his hair was loose from his bun and flowing down his neck. You stood opposite of him, in his dorm room, your hair pulled into a messy bun and your lips chapped from biting them constantly. You had stood up from his bed where your books were sprawled everywhere from your study session, facing him with your arms crossed.
“This is ridiculous,” you shouted, “We’re fighting over nothing.”
“Nothing?” Sirius yelled back, scoffing at the back of his throat, “So you call our relationship ‘nothing’?”
“I didn’t say that! You’re twisting my words,” you shook your head, “I’m saying, we’re fighting over nothing! I have to study, school is important to me, Sirius, you knew this from the minute we began dating.”
“Well, sorry,” Sirius sang sarcastically, “that I just want to spend some time with my fucking girlfriend without having her nose in some awful book.”
“You had time to spend with me before, but if I recall correctly you were too busy with your nose up Georgette Retter’s arsehole!” you spat angrily remembering sitting in the common room watching your boyfriend flirt with another girl right in front of you.
“This again?” Sirius groaned, “Really, Love, jealousy is not a flattering shade on you. At all.” Sirius nearly gritted the nickname ‘love’ out from his teeth, it was painful to hear.
“I’m not jealous, I’m angry! You think you own me, you can spend whatever time you want with me and then go off and shag some other girl!” you clenched your fist as you felt your throat go hoarse. The fight must’ve been an hour already as you felt your head becoming faint with the screaming.
“I don’t shag anyone! For fucks sake! I just want to spend some time with my bloody girlfriend and now I realize that she’s too much a fucking bitch to pay attention to her boyfriend.”
You slammed your hand on his desk, fury in your face, “I’m a bitch? Well, at least I’m actually trying to pass school! Unlike you, Sirius, I actually have a family to impress.” The words slipped out of your mouth faster than air as Sirius stared at you stunned. The two of you watched at each other in horror realizing the words you had said to each other. The toxic, dangerous, angry words that would cause you relationship to plummet into the pits of hell. You put your hand to your mouth, clenching your eyes tight and letting out a gut-wrenching sob. Sirius rubbed his face, exhausted and clearly distressed.
“I’m sorry,” you let out, “that wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.”
Sirius approached you slowly, gathering you in his arms, placing your head against his chest. “It’s okay,” Sirius whispered, kissing the top of your head, “I’m sorry too.”
The silence was deafening, more painful than anything either of you had ever endured. You felt the soft fabric of Sirius’ shirt and the tears staining his chest. You could feel his ragged breathing and his hands clutching onto your sides.
“I can’t do this anymore,” you whispered, low enough for Sirius to hear. He stiffened and clenched his jaw.
“Me neither, let’s just... let’s just go to sleep, yeah? We can wake up fresh tomorrow.” Sirius released you and began to put your book that laid on his bed onto his desk gently. As Sirius’ hands began to move the comforter, you cried out,
“Sirius, we need to break up.”
“What?” Sirius looked up at your crying figure, your hand still on your mouth. He glanced down at the ring he had given you, the ring gave to promise himself only to you. He wore the same ring on a necklace that was lying across his heart. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“I can’t do this anymore.”
Sirius paced towards you, holding your hips with his hands. “No, no. This is just a fight, we’ll get over it. Come, let’s sleep.”
“No!” your voice broke, “Sirius, I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. I love you more than the sky and the ground but I can’t do this anymore. We can’t do this anymore.” You choked out, “We can’t.”
“No.” Sirius shook his head, pulling you closer to him, “We can, this is just a rough patch, love, we’ll be alright.” he said softly.
“I don’t think it is. I think,” you swallowed thick air, “Sirius, I think we need to break up.”
“No, Y/N, we’re not breaking up. What are you on about? This is just a silly fight, a silly Y/N and Sirius fight that we’ll laugh about in the morning.”
“Listen to me,” you begged, “we always fight and we... we just don’t have time for each other. We need to break up.”
Sirius felt his Adam’s apple go dry as he tried to choke out any other word but “No.”
“Yes.” Tears slipped down your cheeks and into the crevices of your lips and collarbone.
“Don’t say that,” Sirius begged, pulling you into a hug. He placed one arm tightly on your hip and the other clutching the back of your head, something he used to do all the time. The small gesture of love only made you sob harder. “We can’t break up. We can’t.”
“We have to, I’m sorry. But, we aren’t good for each other anymore, we... I’m sorry.”
You stayed in Sirius’ arms, savoring the feeling of his heartbeat against yours.
“Please don’t go,” you felt your knees weaken at Sirius’ tiny, broken voice. He pulled back to look at you. His girlfriend. The love of his life. The person he wanted to spend the rest of eternity with. You. You were slipping through his fingers and turning into dust right before his eyes. He blinked rapidly as his lips turned into a frown.
“Don’t go,” he said again, this time more firm.
“I have to. We have to break up, Sirius, I’m sorry.”
“But,” he choked, “I love you.”
Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to contain yourself from falling into a heap on the floor, “I love you too. I love you more than anything.”
“Then why can’t you stay? Why can’t we work this out?”
“We need time, Sirius. I’m sorry. I need time from us... I just. I love you.”
You turned to clean up your books, placing them clumsily in your bookbag as Sirius watched helplessly. As you began to leave, Sirius’ hand caught your wrist gently.
“Kiss me before you go. Kiss me. Please, just kiss me.”
You let Sirius cup your chin, his warm hands on your cheeks. He rubbed them comfortingly with his thumbs as he looked into your eyes. He searched desperately for any sort of rejection but only saw desperate sadness. Sirius tilted his head and fit his lips against yours. There are no words to describe your last kiss. It was effortless. It was drowning in sorrows. It was the last breath of pure air into tiny lungs. It was the moment the sun hit the morning sky. It was the feeling of sinking in the murky sea. It was the moment of life and the moment of death. And with his final breath of love, Sirius kissed you. He kissed you desperately, clinging on to your cheeks, hoping any piece of it will lead you back to him. He kissed you with begging and agony laced lips. He kissed you with the fiery passion and the lasting effervescent love he could convey. And when it ended, when your lips separated. Your eyes remained closed. Both of you wishing you could memorize the feeling of each other before it was gone. When Sirius opened his eyes, he saw your saddened eyes, your broken heart, and he let you go.
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Red Flags pt.2
Genre: fluff + a dash of angst(?)
Warnings: insecurities, alcohol, cursing, hopefully thats it...
Ft / Mentions: lots of NCT members + EXO Kai lol
Word Count: 16k
A/N: wowza, okay first of all i wanted to apologize before hand. i really tried putting this out on valentines day for ya’ll but alas i could not make it lol. i’m literally a few hours late lol but anyways due to popular demand here is part 2! i really hope ya’ll enjoy this. it’s also my first fic/scenario that is this long lol. this is possibly my last scenario for a while (uni problems lol). unless i have a sudden urge to write lol but i’m so glad ya’ll enjoyed red flags pt 1! it means a lot to me <3 well i won’t bother u anymore. enjoy! :)
P A R T 1
[ M A S T E R L I S T ]
It was the first time in a long time that you had a good night’s rest.
Ever since the breakup, it’s been hard to sleep and when you’re able to, you’re constantly waking up at random times of the night. Sometimes not even sleeping at all.
You can feel the sun warming up your bones through the blanket, basking in the sun’s rays. It’s been a while since the sun has been out, nothing but grey skies and snow has been covering the land these days.
Suddenly you hear all the clanking coming from the kitchen, forgetting that you had an unexpected guest last night. You let out a sigh before dragging yourself out of the comforts of your bed. Slippered feet drag across your hardwood floor, down the hallway, and into the kitchen where you see Jaemin cooking.
It’s as if the two of you are back together again like you hadn’t broken up at all—like he didn’t break your heart at all.
You’re glad his eye isn’t swollen anymore, however, there’s evident bruising left. There’s dried blood from where his cut lip was and you make a mental note to check up on his other wounds before going to the hospital.
Jaemin catches you in the hallway, staring at him. He gives a shy smile before whispering an awkward ‘good morning’ before proceeding to plate the food. He brings it over towards your dining table, setting the food down. You have to look away because you’re getting flashbacks from when things used to be. “I made breakfast…” Jaemin states the obvious, hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck. He just needed to say something—anything really at this point. “S-sorry, I should have asked first…”
You heave out a sigh, rubbing your palms down your face in hopes it’ll stop the memories from exploding in your brain before making your way to the table. “It’s fine.” You take a seat and you glance at him, seeing that he’s still standing. “Aren’t you gonna sit?”
“R-right.” He stutters, quickly sitting down.
“Thank you for the meal,” you mumble, before digging in.
God this was so awkward, you mentally note. You weren’t even this awkward when you had first met. It’s just the two of you. The sound of chewing and breathing is all that echoes through your apartment. You wish he had at least put on a vinyl or something. Something to cut this tense air around you. “D-did you sleep okay?” You ask, not even glancing at him. Stabbing into your breakfast sausage and taking a bite.
Jaemin nods, before noticing that you probably didn’t see, your gaze is still on your breakfast. “Y-yeah I did.” He smiles a bit, “It’s been a while… since I’ve slept that well.”
Me too. You want to say but instead, “That’s good.” You nod, proceeding to shove the rest of your breakfast into your mouth. Jaemin somehow finishes just in time with you, afraid you were going to leave him at the dining table alone. Just as you get up from the table, you glance over at his plate to notice he had finished as well. You reach for it but Jaemin is quickly stopping you. “I-I can do the dishes.” He stutters, holding onto his plate.
You shake your head, “No you made breakfast, it’s only right of me to do the dishes.” You pull the plate back.
Jaemin pulls it back towards him. “I insist, you should go get ready.”
“Jaemin, you hate doing dishes.”
“Well so do you.”
You roll your eyes, letting out a chuckle. “My apartment, my rules. I’ll do the dishes. I need you to go wash up, we have a doctor to visit.” Jaemin finally let’s go with a sigh, causing you to look at him confusingly. “Do I look that bad? I thought you fixed me up last night. Did you not?”
This time it was your turn to sigh, “The swelling is gone,” you head over to the kitchen sink, placing your dirty dishes in them. “We’re going just as a precaution, and I did clean up your wounds but I’m neither a doctor nor a nurse. I’m not even too sure if I did a thorough job.”
He huffs, “I think you did a good job.”
You roll your eyes, a smile gracing your lips but Jaemin isn’t able to see it because he’s too busy sulking. “We’re going Jaemin. That’s final.”
If there’s one thing Jaemin hates, it’s going to the hospital.
The walls are too white. No color, no happiness. The lights are far too bright for their own good, there are constantly people in pain, people crying, people bleeding, people in a panic, people in too much pain to be in a panic—the hospital could never become a happy place for Jaemin.
He’s been here one time too many, to the point the nurses know who he is.
You’ve just finished with the paperwork for him, Jaemin didn’t seem so happy and you didn’t want to agitate him any further so you took the initiative of signing them for him. He’s been looking at the ground since he’s gotten here, hands in the pockets of his jacket—your jacket to be exact. Earlier he had wanted a hoodie but because his wounds are practically adorning his body it was just easier if he had worn a jacket.
You take a seat beside him, waiting for his name to be called. You peep at Jaemin and he’s still crouched over, leg bumping up and down at a frantic pace. At this point, you’re getting worried. Is he in pain? Is he cold? You think it’s the latter—hoping that it’s the latter, as you take off your scarf and place it around his neck. He finally looks up at you, shocked at your action. It’s almost as if you scared him, you must have because his eyes are blown out, pupils shaking.
“S-sorry, you looked cold,” you whisper, continuing to wrap the scarf properly. He pulls away, fixing it himself. “Thanks.” He mumbles.
“Well if it isn’t Jaemin,” you both look up to find a nurse, she’s cradling her clipboard in one arm, the other is planted at her hip. “Lemme guess another fight?” She gestures at his eye and Jaemin looks away, letting out a scoff. You tap him lightly in the arm for his rudeness. “And you brought a girl this time? Jaemin you shouldn’t bring other people into your problems.”
She nags before letting out a sigh. “The doctor is ready for you. You know the way.” She smiles at you, before taking her leave.
“That was rude…” You whisper to yourself. You didn’t like the tone she gave him. It almost sounded as if she was annoyed to see him, even if she graced you with a smile. You turn to Jaemin, “I’ll be waiting here for you.”
“Can you…” Jaemin starts before looking up at you, “Can you come in with me? I don’t want to be alone.” There’s sadness pooling in his irises and he sounds so deflated. You almost want to go yell at the nurse from earlier. You give him a tight smile and nod, letting him lead the way to the doctor’s office.
“Jaemin. Jaemin. Jaemin.” The doctor sighs, looking over the paperwork. “How many times do we have to tell you to stop—oh hello, didn’t know Jaemin brought someone.”
You give him a tight-lipped smile and bow your head lightly to greet him. “Hello, my name is Y/n. uh- Jaemin’s…” You glance at Jaemin whose eyes are still trained onto the floor. You’re not quite sure what to call yourself. It’ll be too awkward—too weird to call yourself his ex although that’s what you are.
Are you guys acquaintances now? No, you know too much about him and vice versa. There’s too much history behind the two of you to be acquaintances.
A friend? Would you even consider Jaemin a friend? Does he consider you as a friend now? God why were you making this hard for yourself.
The doctor simply nods, not even bothering to let you finish your sentence. “Have a seat.”
He does a quick check-up and proceeds to ask him more questions. He gestures for Jaemin to take off his shirt for further inspection and that’s when you notice the purple splotches decorating his torso. Your eyebrows crinkle. Were these there last night? How much pain was he enduring? You watch as the doctor presses down on a few and Jaemin’s eyebrows would wrinkle or he’d let out a hiss, sometimes both. “We’re gonna do an x-ray, just in case there are any broken ribs, from there I can prescribe you some medication if necessary. Y/n you can wait in the lobby for the time being—”
“Uhm, is it okay if I come along.” You ask almost immediately. You didn’t like the way the doctor's tone had changed when he noticed your presence, who knows how he’ll be like once you’re gone. Jaemin sure as hell doesn’t want you to leave either, the second the doctor told you to wait in the lobby he had looked at you so fast with those puppy eyes of his. Silently begging for you to not leave him alone.
“Or you can come along.” The doctor nods, gathering the paperwork and leading you two out of his office.
No broken bones, thankfully.
The procedure went a lot quicker than you thought it would take. After the doctor prescribes him some pain killers and he double checks his wounds you were free to leave. You head towards the receptionist desk where the nurse from before hands Jaemin a white paper bag with his medications. “No more fighting now Na Jaemin.” She nags “Just because you’re young doesn’t mean you can ruin your body like this. It’ll catch up to you once you’re older.” He lets out a nod and you bid her goodbye. You walk back to your car, letting out a sigh once you’re in as you lean against the steering wheel. God was visiting the doctors always this straining? You hope the next time you have to go to the hospital is for labor.
Your stomach rumbles, causing you to let out a sigh. You reach into your hoodie to check the time and it’s already 1 in the afternoon. You glance at Jaemin, who’s staring off into his own world. He’s been oddly quiet, too quiet. Maybe this was a bad idea, he’s probably uncomfortable. Maybe you’re making him uncomfortable. “Jaemin…” You call out but he doesn’t hear you.
“Jaemin?” You call out a little louder as you softly poke at his hand and he finally comes out of his daze, “Y-yeah?”
“You okay? You’ve been really quiet, even back in the lobby.”
“I just…” He lets out a sigh, “Not a big fan of hospitals. It’s lonely, every time I’m in there.”
“Jaemin you’re always in there—at least, I’m assuming because of the way the doctors and nurses spoke to you today, which may I add very rude.”
Jaemin smiles a bit, “Today was the first time someone’s actually gone in with me and didn’t just wait in the lobby, drop me off, or just waited for me to be done. My mom never went in with me, she always waited in the lobby—even when I was a kid. As for Mark, he always just picked me up. Didn’t bother with taking me to the hospital.” He chuckles, “He got too good at cleaning up my wounds.”
He turns to you, “Thank you, for not making me feel lonely.”
You smile, “What’re fr—” you stop yourself again. Letting out an inaudible groan as you turn your head to face your window. You almost let it slip there, hand coming up to awkwardly scratch at your head. You clear your throat, a tight smile gracing your lips.“How about we go get something to eat now?”
It’s definitely not at the diner that’s down the street from your place. You’ve never stepped foot in there again, even when you and Jaemin have broken up. Rather it's at a cafe across town that you had discovered on one of your aimless car drives. It’s a dainty little place, a family owned cafe. You’ve spent lots of studying days here despite the long drive but it’s worth it. You’ve come so often that every one of the workers know who you are, even the owners. You’ve tried the whole menu and when they come out with seasonal items, you try those as well. You could honestly work there if you wanted to.
Your excitement doesn’t go unseen. Jaemin notices the bounce in your steps, the sudden hum that comes out of your mouth as you reach for the handle and once you open it your eyes suddenly close as you inhale deeply. Basking yourself in the delicious smell of coffee beans and pastries. “Well if it isn’t our favorite customer.” The statement catches both of your attention and Jaemin watches as your killer smile graces your face. He watches as you bounce your way into the cafe, leaving him alone at the entrance. He watches as your arms open up for the man that’s approaching you with the same gesture. He doesn’t like it that you’re hugging someone else, let alone a handsome man at that—Jaemin has to admit. He looks familiar but Jaemin isn’t quite sure where he’s seen him before.
“Do you want your usual?” He pulls away just enough so he can look at your face, his hand coming up to smooth down some fly-aways. Jaemin feels like puking. He hates the lovey dovey eyes the man is making at you. Hates the way your arms are wrapped around his waist. He’s holding you like he’s your boyfriend—
He couldn’t be your boyfriend? Right?
You would have told him last night if you were seeing someone.
You nod your head before turning around, almost forgetting that you had brought Jaemin along in the midst of your excitement. “Ah, this is Jaemin.” You pull away from the hug. “Jaemin this is Jaehyun.”
“Oh you’re one of Johnny’s little bros, I knew you looked familiar.” Jaemin looks at Jaehyun with eyebrows raised. How does he know about him but he has no clue on who this man is. “Have we met before?”
Jaehyun shakes his head, “No but I’ve seen you a couple of times from his parties. The last time I saw you was when you had silver hair. Although it’s been a while since I’ve seen Johnny too.” Jaehyun sighs, hand coming up to help stretch out his neck. “Heard he’s engaged now.”
Jaemin nods his head, not knowing how to continue the conversation so he chooses to stay quiet. It seems like you haven’t told him about the two of you.
“Well take all the time you need,” He smiles gesturing to the menu before looking back down at you. “Taeil and Sungchan are in the back. I’ll let them know you’re here.” He rubs your back. “Can you make it two servings of the BLT and add in an iced americano?” You ask and Jaehyun gives you an ‘ok’ sign before going behind the counter.
You lead Jaemin to your usual spot, body slouching over the table as you stare out the window and no sooner is Jaehyun bringing out your food. The background music is almost lulling you to sleep, a small smile gracing your lips when you know the playlist belongs to Jaehyun. Him and his love for R&B music.
You gasp in delight, “Wah, Jung you’re getting faster!”
He chuckles, hand coming up to ruffle your hair. “Because a certain someone is always ordering the same thing. I could basically make these with my eyes closed now.” He smiles hand retreating back to the pockets of his apron. “Alright I’ll let the two of you enjoy your meal, I’ll be in the back if you need me.” He turns to look at Jaemin. “It was nice to officially meet you Jaemin.” Jaemin could only give him a tight smile and a nod and you watch as Jaehyun retreats back to the register.
You happily slide over the tray, placing Jaemin’s meal in front of him before you do the same. Jaemin watches as you take a long sip of your drink, shaking in excitement as your eyes crinkle close. He smiles at your cuteness. He’s missed this, a lot. You look up at him, foam decorating the top of your lip and Jaemin smiles. “Sorry, I should have asked if you were feeling a BLT.”
Jaemin shakes his head, reaching over to wipe off the foam. He chuckles at your surprised face, tongue quickly swiping at his thumb to taste it. He hums, “Hey that’s good, what did you get?”
“C-caramel macchiato with oat milk and s-sea salt foam…” You stutter, mouth agape from his action. “You should have gotten me that instead.” He pouts, taking a sip from his drink before his eyes widens.
“W-what? Is it gross?” You ask, panicking from his expression.
“No it…” He goes in for another sip. “I take it back, I’m glad you got this for me.”
You chuckle, shaking your head before continuing your lunch. Jaehyun stops by every now and then to check up on the two of you. You notice Jaemin doesn’t favor him all too much however he treats Taeil and Sungchan perfectly fine. You want to know what’s the deal but you don’t want to spoil the mood so you keep your questions to yourself. You hang around a bit more, not wanting to be stuck in the car for another hour or so—depending on the traffic. It’s currently 4:50 in the afternoon. There’ll definitely be traffic.
You let out a stretch, watching the sun cast a golden glow onto the table. The rays cast both you and Jaemin in warmth, Jaehyun’s playlist almost lulling you into a nap.
“Hey,” Jaemin starts and you look his way, his eyes still focused on the world outside of the window. “Can we go out for a walk?”
You hum, returning your gaze out the window. “Sounds like a good idea but I don’t know the area all too well.”
“That’s even better though, walking without destination.”
“And if we get lost?” You counter.
“Then we have each other at least, part of the adventure.” Jaemin smiles at you, watches as you raise an eyebrow. “And we have our phones to track us back.”
“How’s everything here?” You both turn to find Jaehyun with his own cup and sandwich, placing the food down as he takes a seat beside you. “Any refills? Another serving?”
“No.” Jaemin spats and you chuckle nervously, “No we’re good, thank you for asking.” You smile, not noticing Jaemin’s tone. “On your break?”
Jaehyun nods, “Closing tonight.” He sighs, taking a sip from his drink. “What’re you two up to?”
“Thinking about exploring the area to pass the traffic jam.”
“I can show you guys around if you’d like—”
“That isn’t necessary.” Jaemin interrupts.
You stutter, “Y-you said you were closing anyways.”
Jaehyun hums, “It’s alright, the cafe isn’t busy. Sungchan and Taeil could handle themselves perfectly fine.”
“Wow, using your status as son of the owner to get away with things now.”
“Anything for you.” He chuckles, taking a sip of his water. “Oh hey, so Johnny’s wedding is coming up next month. He made me his best man but I was wondering if you’d like to be my plus—” Jaemin slams his palms against the table, startling a few folks beside you. He slides out of his seat and makes his way out of the cafe.
You let out a sigh, gathering your things. “He doesn’t seem to like me…”
You nod, agreeing with him. “I thought he was just a bit moody because I dragged him all the way out here but he treated Taeil and Sungchan okay.”
Jaehyun stands up in sync with you, “Text me when you get home okay?”
You nod, quickly pulling him into a hug before going after Jaemin. “Jaemin!” You call out but he doesn’t hear you, rather he’s ignoring you. You have to run to catch up to him, curse his long legs. “Jaemin!” You call out again. You’re just about to reach him when the tip of your shoe gets caught in between the cracks of the concrete causing you to tumble forward.
“Ow…” You groan. Thankfully your hoodie had saved your palms from being scraped. You wished you could say the same for your knees. “Fuck, Y/n are you okay?” Jaemin yells, crouching down to try to help you up but you push at his chest causing him to fall on his butt. “Fuckin jerk!” You scream back, huffing as you put your weight on your own butt to examine your knees. You attempt to relieve the sting by fanning them with the sleeves of your hoodie. You let out a heavy sigh before looking at Jaemin. “Jaemin what’s wrong? Why didn’t you stop when I called out for you?”
“Do you still keep the first aid kit in your trunk?” He asks worryingly, getting back up in a crouching position.
“Answer me Jaemin.” You demand. Boy if eye lasers were a thing, Jaemin thought for sure you’d burn holes into his head right now. “Do you or do you not have the first aid kit?” He challenges you back.
You groan, “Of course I do.” Before you could ask your question one more time, Jaemin is lifting you off your butt and into bridal style. “Na Jaemin put me down! It’s not like I twisted my ankle!” He ignores you once more, carrying you back to your car.
Once there he gently places you down, grabs the keys from your purse to unlock the car door. He makes sure you're situated comfortably before heading to the trunk and grabbing your first aid kit. He sits on the concrete without a care, tending to your scrapes. “Funny that I’m the one fixing you up now.”
You scoff, “The only difference is I actually fell.”
The statement causes Jaemin to chuckle. “Must have fallen pretty hard if you have two holes in your jeans now.”
“At least I don’t have to buy myself a pair now. I made these naturally on my own.” He securely pastes on the bandages, pressing a soft kiss to each knee, before getting up, and dusting off his butt. “I’ll drive us home tonight.” He says, placing your legs safely into the car and putting your seatbelt on for you. You let out a sigh, so much for exploring the town.
You end up getting stuck in traffic nonetheless, the only sound accompanying the two of you is some random lofi playlist you had found on spotify—anything is better than silence and the numerous honking happening, as if honking will make the traffic go any faster.
“Jaemin.” You call out and he lets out a hum. “Can you please tell me why you’re mad?” You try once more.
“I’m not mad.”
You sigh, “Okay lemme rephrase that. Can you tell me why you were mad. Ya know back at the cafe.”
“I wasn’t mad.” He says nonchalantly and you roll your eyes.
“Jaemin. We’re stuck in traffic and we’re like what?” You take a glance at your map to find the eta. “We’re still an hour away from home. We both know damn well you’re lying. So you either tell me the truth or we’re sitting in silence for the rest of the way.”
Jaemin lets out a sigh, you know him all too well. “Are you and… that guy dating?” Jaemin inwardly sighs, God he can’t even say his name. How pathetic can he get.
“Jaehyun?” Jaemin nods and you chuckle. “And what if we are? It has nothing to do with you.”
“It has everything to do with me!” Jaemin’s heart feels like it’s being stabbed. Were you just toying with his emotions? Were you thinking about his feelings at all? Giving him false hope?
“Were you just gonna pretend like I didn’t confess my heart out to you last night? Did you lie to me that you were going to think about it? Give me false hope?”
“Of course not!” You sigh, running your hand through your hair. It's only been a day, you haven’t even gotten the chance to think about it with all the running around you’ve been doing with him today. “Besides there’s no way Jaehyun likes me”
Jaemin scoffs, “Have you seen the way he looks at you?”
“Like you’re his everything?”
You roll your eyes at his statement, “Like I said, there’s no way he likes me!”
“Have you seen yourself?” You raise an eyebrow at him, “A man would be considered blind if they didn’t find you beautiful.”
It was your turn to scoff, “I’m flattered by your compliment but I’m still positive he doesn’t like me. I’ve seen the girls he’s dated. I’m nowhere near they’re level.”
“I didn’t think you were this dense.” Jaemin mutters, “I’m positive you’re way past their level.”
You don’t see Jaemin after that, but only because it’s the middle of the semester which could only mean one thing—midterms.
Surprisingly, you’re not that worried this semester. You only have one major test in your psychology class. The professor had warned you all that the test is going to be about everything that you have learned so far. Despite that you’re not worried, you’ve been able to keep up with your studies. All you really need to do is just skim over your notes and reread some chapters you might have forgotten.
You’re on your way to said psychology class at the moment, ignoring the bustling of students making their own way to classes by blasting the volume on your earphones. You only look down at your phone for a mere second just to change the song when a body rams into your own, sending you both flying to the ground.
You let out a groan, taking out your earphones and reaching over to check to see if your phone had any damage to it. The crack on your screen protector had gotten worse and you sigh, it’s time for you to change it.
You’re reminded you had run into someone else when they let out a groan. Their back is turned towards you, scurrying to pick up the scattered papers. You helped gather the belongings closest to you, and crouched down besides them to place it neatly. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention! Are you hurt any—oh Jeno?”
The boy looks up, glasses barely hanging onto his face. A smile breaks out on his lips as he lets out a sigh, pushing up his glasses with the tip of his finger. “Hey it’s been a while!” He sets the papers he’s managed to pick up before pulling you into a hug. “How are you? Ah—I should ask you if you’re okay first.”
You chuckle with a nod. “I’m fine however I wish I could say the same for my phone.” At the mention of your phone Jeno reaches over to pull your hand closer to him so he can examine your phone. His eyebrows scrunches, “I’m so sorry, I’ll pay for the damages!” He sighs, “I should’ve had someone help me carry these back to the office.”
You vigorously shake your head, “No-no it’s okay. It’s just the screen protector. I have a spare back at my apartment.” you shove your phone back into your pocket. A few other passerby's had helped pick up Jeno’s papers as well, shoving them quickly into your hands before scurrying off.
“You mentioned help?”
“I couldn’t, you probably have class.”
You nod, “It’s fine. I’ll just let my professor know what happened. Professor Huang doesn’t take roll—”
“Professor Huang? As in, Professor Huang teaching intro to psych?”
“You have him?”
Jeno chuckles, handing you the rest of the stack of papers as he picks up the books. “I’m his TA. I’m supposed to be in classes today to let kids know a tutor center actually exists.” He shakes his head before walking off.
Jeno leads the way to Professor Huang’s office and along the way he makes small conversations. He asks what you’ve been up to these days, says he gets updates from Mark but he wants to hear it from you. He even answers some of your questions about any of the class assignments, you even figured out that he writes the questions himself.
“Hey, have you heard anything from Jaemin recently…” Jeno asks, scratching his cheek nervously.
You should have expected this question to come up sooner or later, the only problem was were you supposed to lie or not? If Jaemin hadn’t told Jeno—his own best friend, then you have no choice but to lie as well. However, you’re not the best liar.
“No, why? Did something happen?” You stuttered, letting out an inaudible sigh when Jeno doesn’t catch it.
“It’s just a couple nights ago—like 3 weeks ago? Jaemin had gotten into a fight. It was the first fight he had gotten into since the whole downfall with Mark.”
Ah, the night he came to your apartment. “Anyways, after we had gotten kicked out of the party Jaemin went his own way, yelled at us to not follow him. None of us know where he went that night and he didn’t come home the day after till late the following day.”
“But ever since then he seems happier? Which is weird because he hasn’t been that way since you two…” His voice trails off meeting your eyes. He quickly averts them, clearing his throat. “Anyways, I wanted to know if by any chance did Jaemin go to your place?”
You feign innocence, shaking your head. “No I haven’t.” you’ve both arrived to your class and Jeno is reaching for the handle first. “I’ll let Professor Huang know you were helping me. Today’s attendance mattered by the way.” he chuckles and before you could complain he’s swinging the door open for you. You rolled your eyes, shoving a fist into his chest before walking in.
“Alright class that’ll be all for today. I’ll see you all on Monday.”
You’re one of the last few folks to get out of class, taking your sweet time to pack your belongings. Although it's a Friday afternoon you’re in no hurry to go anywhere, you’re most likely going back to your apartment or study somewhere in the library while you wait for your next class to start.
You hear people murmuring even a few gasps but you don’t think much of it. There's always something bizarre happening outside of your classroom for unknown reasons. The other day a dog sitter had accidentally let go of their dogs and they were running rampage outside, a few of them even managing to come inside the classroom.
You sling your backpack onto your back and you wave at Jeno goodbye but he’s calling out your name. Excusing himself from your classmates before making his way towards you. “Where you heading off to?”
You let out a hum, adjusting the strap of your bag. “I have class in two hours. Was debating whether or not I should head back to my apartment or go to the library to study.”
“Eat with me. We haven’t had a proper conversation yet.”
He’s looking at you with pleading eyes and you can’t help but agree. He lets out a big smile, one where his eyes turn into crescents and you can’t help but give him a smile back. It’s contagious.
“I’m almost done here, can you wait a bit?” With a nod, you lean against a table watching as Jeno answers each of your fellow classmates questions. You take this time to carefully remove the broken screen protector from your phone, discarding it into the trash. “Wow.” Jeno’s voice startles you from behind. “You can finally see everything better on your phone now.” He chuckles before adjusting his backpack. “You ready?”
“What did you want to eat?” You ask as you're opening the door only to freeze at the entrance. You shut your eyes as a sigh escapes your mouth, finally figuring out what the commotion was all about. “Hm, I was feeling a burger today—Oh Jaemin.”
Jaemin’s eyes turn as big as saucers. He wasn’t expecting Jeno to be here either.
“W-what’re you doing here?” Jeno asks, looking between the two of you.
Jaemin does the same, looking between you and Jeno. “I can ask you the same thing.”
“You know I’m a TA for Professor Huang.” He shrugs and waits for Jaemin’s answer. When Jeno doesn’t get it, he puts the pieces together himself. “So… the two of you are seeing each other again…” and when Jeno sees the two of you look away, he nods his head. “That means Jaemin did go to your place that night.” You let out a sigh before nodding your head.
“Wow…” Jeno chuckles, but it’s anything but happy. “I’m not surprised my best friend lied to me but I wasn’t expecting you to lie to me Y/n.” He pouts before he’s pulling you by your sweater to move closer to Jaemin before whispering. “Does Mark know?” You and Jaemin vigorously shake your head.
“Wow,” Jeno gapes, “Usually I would be happy to be the first to know things but, not this time…” He smacks Jaemin in the arm. “You know Mark is going to kill you when he finds out.” Before flicking you in the forehead. “And Seori is gonna kill you.”
“Okay first of all ouch.” You whine, rubbing your forehead. “And second of all, they won’t find out unless you snitch on us.”
Jeno feigns hurt, a gasp leaving his mouth and palm coming up to rest on his chest. “I would never!”
“Promise you won’t tell them anything.” Jaemin intervenes. Jeno takes a good look at his friend, seeing the seriousness laced on both his face and tone before letting out a sigh. “You know I never tell your business to anybody, not even your mom and besides it’s not any of my business what you guys do. If you guys are happy then I am too.”
You admire the way Jeno is so nonchalant about things. If only that could be the case for you.
“How’d you find me?” You ask, looking at Jaemin.
He clears his throat, eyes not meeting yours. “I asked around, if anybody knew where you were. You’re famous now, ya’ know.”
You scoff, “no thanks to you.” You let out a sigh, “What do you want Jaemin?”
“You weren’t answering any of my texts.”
“I was in class, I always shut off my phone. You know that.” You pull out said phone, turning it back on. He’s been constantly texting you, asking about your day, even dropping off food for you on days where you’ve caved yourself in your apartment for study sessions. He sends you good morning texts, night texts, telling you embarrassing things Jeno has done—you make a mental note to never bring it up to him. It’s not that you were ignoring him on purpose, nor did you find his texts annoying but rather you’re still a bit unsure about the whole situation with him.
You’re reluctant to give him a second chance, even as friends because giving people second chances never worked well with you. You haven’t stopped thinking about it. Spent nights just staring blankly at your laptop screen or the ceiling of your bedroom, food going cold when you suddenly remember his confession. Somehow or someway his words ring in your brain.
You watch as the notifications pop onto your screen.
Jaemin: heyyy r u busy [2:30 pm]
Jaemin: i need a favor [2:31 pm]
Jaemin: where r u [2:34 pm]
Jaemin: r u in class? [2:37]
Jaemin: where’s ur class [2:37 pm]
Jaemin: im waiting for u outside [2:45 pm]
You notice you have a notification for your upcoming class, ignoring all of Jaemin’s texts and clicking straight onto it. Your professor notified the class that it is canceled for the day, something about having a seminar to attend to.
Jaemin lets out a small huff, he wished you weren’t so cold towards him sometimes. “Are you free?”
“We’re going out to eat.” Jeno smiles and Jaemin wants to slap the smile off of his best friend's face. Why did he look so proud? Choosing to ignore his friend he continues, “I was wondering if you could help me study for my anatomy test.”
The comment catches both you and jeno off guard. You turn towards each other before looking at Jeno, “You don’t study though.” You both say in unison before turning to look at each other again and chuckling. Jaemin watches as the two of you exchange fist bumps. Envy bubbling in the pit of his stomach.
“Hey, I’ll have you both know I can be a studious kid too!”
“Jae, I’ve been friends with you since middle school. Not once have I seen you crack open a book.” Jeno laughs, cowering behind you when Jaemin hand reaches up to try to smack his friend in the arm.
Jaemin groans, “Okay, I really need to ace this upcoming quiz to raise my grade. I need to pass the class with an A.”
“And what grade do you have now?” You ask, shifting your weight onto your foot.
Jaemin chuckles nervously, “I’m passing… don’t worry.”
He smiles at the use of his full name. He misses the way his name falls from your lips, it sounds so beautiful. Even when you’re being serious with him.
“It’s a D…” He whispers in hopes you haven’t heard but with the way you groan tells him otherwise. “I’m guessing this test is worth a lot then.”
He nods his head. “It’s our midterm…”
“Of course it would be.” You sigh and exchange looks with Jeno, who merely nods as if he had read your mind. “You can join us for dinner or whatever we’re having.”
“There’s a cafe that I want to take you to.”
“Is it Jisung’s?” Jeno asks, earning a smile from Jaemin before he casts his eyes back onto you. “Do you have class soon? It’s a bit of a drive to get there.”
You shake your head, “It just got canceled.”
“Nice~” Jeno coos, throwing an arm around you and walking away. “What’re we waiting for then!”
The cafe is only thirty minutes away from campus—at least with the way Jaemin drives it is.
It’s not that he’s a terrible driver, he’s surprisingly a safe one.
Too safe that is.
You almost tell him to pull over so you can take over, but you can’t bear the responsibility of wrecking the car. Especially since it’s neither yours or Jaemins. Jeno had been backseat driving the whole time, telling Jaemin he can go a bit faster.
When you finally arrive, it almost reminds you of Jaehyun’s cafe.
There’s a huge window in the front, where you’re able to look into. If you’re able to look past the twinkling fairy lights that is. You don’t even wait for Jaemin or Jeno to open the door for you, already one step ahead. The cafe walls are built by bricks giving it that rustic feel and yet the furnishing on the inside seems modern. The first thing that hits you is the warmth and then it’s the smell of coffee grounds, the buzz of customers and their small talk. The whirring of machines and blenders, clanging of dishes coming from the back.
You’re pulled out of your trance when Jaemin pulls you to the side by your shoulders softly, letting other customers walk in. “Sorry, didn’t mean to bother you.” He smiles and let go of your shoulders before shoving his hand inside the pockets of his coat. “It seemed like you enjoy cafes so I thought I’d bring you here.”
You just don’t just enjoy cafes, you absolutely love them.
There’s something about the bustling of cafes that interestingly makes you feel calm. You don’t particularly like working in pure silence, always having some type of background noise whether that comes in a form of music or an episode of your favorite tv show—there has to be some type of noise in order for you to work. Which is why you prefer to work in cafes, where there’s constantly some type of noise. Seori thinks you’re weird but in some way she understands because Mark is always breathing down her neck.
“You can get whatever you want, it’s on me today.”
“Even me?” Jeno jokes, earning an elbow to his stomach.
Your eyes skim over the menu, there's so much to choose from you’re not sure what you want to try first. You let out a hum, “I’ll have whatever you’re having.”
“What’re you guys doing here?” you look up to find a boy significantly taller than you, the same height as Jaemin for that matter since they meet eye to eye. You want to know how old this kid is, he looks way younger than you do—way younger than both Jeno and Jaemin too. He has the chubbiest and softest looking cheeks you almost want to reach over and squish them.
“Can’t I visit my friend?” Jaemin chuckles, going in for a handshake.
“I’d believe that if Jeno was telling me that but not you.” He chuckles “You only ever come when you're starving and need a discount.” The boy rolls his eyes, before straightening up when he notices your presence. He smacks Jaemin in the arm. “Should’ve told me there was a customer behind you.” He mutters underneath his breath before giving you a smile. “Hi I’m Jisung, if you have any questions let me know and I’ll be happy to help.”
Jaemin rubs at the spot Jisung had just smacked, “She’s with me, no need to act all proper now.”
Another ‘J’ you chuckle to yourself. “Hi I’m Y/n.” You smile, giving him a wave. Jisung’s eyes widens, pupils looking between you and Jaemin.
So this is the infamous Y/n. Jisung thought to himself.
He’s never met you before, doesn’t frequent himself to Johnny’s parties or Haechan’s for that matter. He’s not the biggest fan of drinking, doesn’t like the taste so there’s no reason for him to go and he definitely doesn’t want to babysit anybody there either.
The first thing he noticed is the aura you give off. It’s friendly, Jisung mentally notes. Compared to all the girls that Jaemin has ‘hung out’ with, Jisung likes to put it that way. You seem to acknowledge his presence at least. The girls from before would just roll their eyes at him and cling onto Jaemin’s arm.
Jisung smiles, “Well Y/n what would you like to have tonight?”
“I’ll have whatever Jaemin is having.”
Jisung winces, “You sure about that?”
Your eyebrows raise, eyes sparing a glance to Jaemin before returning to Jisungs’. “W-why is it bad?”
“Well he gets an iced americano with a lot of shots—”
“6.” Jaemin intervenes.
“And makes his Japanese pancakes super sweet—” Jeno adds.
Jaemin smiles, “It’s the perfect balance.”
Jisung rolls his eyes, “You might as well just eat sugar packets.”
“Then I’ll just get whatever Jeno is getting.” You chuckle.
Jisung chuckles, inputting your order before telling Jaemin the total. “Wise decision.” Your attention is robbed by the display case of deserts, admiring how beautifully each one is shown off. You can’t help but coo at the varieties of macaroons. Some were animal themed, a few cartoon themed, and the rest showcased off the color of the rainbow.
“Come on, we have some studying to do.” Jaemin smiles, tugging on the sleeve of your sweater.
Na Jaemin never fails to surprise you.
In the past Jaemin has always helped you study, it’s never the other way around because well at the time he didn’t have any classes that needed studying for. He pulls out a couple of books, notecards, and a study guide for the test.
He had pulled out a box of cards, handing them over to you with a pleased smile. You flip through a few, both yours and Jeno’s eyes increasing in size when you’ve noticed they’re handmade. Jaemin had even gone the extra mile of printing out pictures for each word. Each card had the name, the function, and the picture. You’re impressed, a sense of proudness filling your heart up.
Both you and Jeno help him study, Jisung joining in an hour or so later for his break. You teach him a study skill your psychology professor taught you to help retain information. Study for a bit and then take a five minute break, do something else within those five minutes, and then go over whatever you’re studying to see if you remembered anything.
“Which bone covers and protects the anterior side of the heart?” Jeno asks,
“The sternum.” Jaemin says with no hesitation
You pull up a card, “Approximately how much of the heart's mass lies to the left of the body?”
“Uh, it should be two-thirds.” You nod your head.
“Name of the shoulder bone?”
“The total number of bones found in the right upper limb is?”
“30,” Jisung answers. The three of you looking over at him before he raises his hands in defense. “Sorry, I learned it in class too.”
Jeno chuckles, “How about a break?” you all nod, taking a sip from your drinks.
“Hey y/n,” Jisung calls, earning a hum from you. “What’s your major?” The question catches everyone's attention, specifically Jaemin’s, curious if you had figured out what you wanted to major in.
“Hey I’m a psych major too!” Jeno smiles, raising his hand for a high five to which you happily smack.
“What made you want to be a psych major?” Jisung asks, shoving some fries in his mouth, face scrunching up because he had accidentally seasoned it with too much salt.
You glance at Jaemin, a glance that doesn’t go unnoticed before you’re turning back to Jisung. Body coming down onto the table to slouch over, hand supporting the weight of your head. “I wanted to understand more about why people do what they do.” Jeno nods, one of the same reasons why he had become a psych major too.
“What about you?”
“Sociology major with a dance minor.” Jisung says and the statement has your eyebrows lifted. “Wanna become a guidance counselor.”
Jisung chuckles, “What, I don’t look like a sociology major? I get that a lot—”
You shake your head, “No I was just gonna comment about how those are practically two different things. It’s a cool mix.”
“Jisung loves to dance.” Jeno says between his chews, “You should come to his performances sometimes.”
You gasp, turning to Jisung with sparkles in your eyes. It has him choking, “Can I come?”
Jeno is reaching over to pat the kid on the back, urging him to drink some of his water.
“Y-yeah for sure.” He’s pulling out his phone before handing it over to you. “I’ll let you know when my upcoming shows are through text.” you nod excitedly, no hesitation on inputting your phone number.
“What the hell is going on here?” You all look up, heart dropping when you realize it’s the last person you wanted to see.
You all can’t look up from the table, eyes focusing on your own drinks. Leg bouncing from fear, waiting for them to say something.
“You know if we weren’t in public I’d sock the shit out of you right now.” he finally speaks and it doesn’t take a genius to know he’s saying it towards Jaemin. The two of them bringing chairs from a different table to avoid causing a scene, however just the aura around the six of you has eyes turning and people moving tables.
“It didn’t stop you before.” Jaemin shrugs which causes Mark to scoff.
Seori sighs, “Were you just not going to tell us? How long have the two of you been talking?” voice so low you almost didn’t catch it.
“It’s only been a couple of weeks. He came by some nights after the two of you left for Jeju, all battered up.” You let out a sigh, “I was going to tell you two, when I figured everything out for myself first.”
“So what? Are the two of you talking again? Y/n please don’t tell me you’re planning on getting back with him?” Mark asks, irritation evident in his voice.
It almost annoys you.
You know your friends mean well, they always have but this is your life which means your decisions. “And if I am?” the question has everyone looking at you, Jaemin mouth slightly parted.
Mark scoffs, “Y/n are you stupid?”
“I’m going to pretend you just didn’t say that.” you click your tongue.
“And Jeno?” Jeno chokes, on his drink, not expecting to be called on. “How long have you known? Why didn’t you tell me anything?” Mark nearly yells that Seori has to calm him down with a squeeze of his shoulder.
After Jeno manages to compose himself he lets out a sigh, “I found out today just like you did. Besides, what's the big deal? If they’re happy together why can’t we be happy then?”
“What’s the big deal?” Mark scoffs, “That fuckin jackass hurt my friend—our friend!”
“Okay first of all you need to calm down.” Jeno spats, irritation lacing his voice. It almost scares you. Jaemin had always told you before that Jeno hardly ever got mad, “Second, you act like Jaemin broke your heart.”
Jeno lets out a huff. “Look, I get it—we all get why you’re pissed off at Jaemin. But I think it’s time for you to get over it.”
“It’s obvious Y/n is over it—at least she’s trying to. If she wasn’t she wouldn’t be here helping this jackass study right now—”
“Hey,” Jaemin whines but Jeno continues.
“She wouldn’t have helped Jaemin that night and she wouldn’t have kept talking to him.”
Jeno lets out a sigh when his friend stays silent and just when he’s about to open his mouth to speak again Jaemin beats him to it. “I know I’ve fucked up. I know I get into too many fist fights, I know I've fucked around with a lot of girls and it’s inexcusable. But please, believe me when I say I want to change.”
“Why now?” Mark counters, “You’ve had all those chances back then, so why now?”
“Why not?” everyone’s eyes turn towards you. “What’s so wrong with that? It’s never too late to be a better person.” You meet eyes with Jaemin, a sad smile gracing your lips.
Mark gets up with a huff, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“Give him some time.” Seori says with an apologetic smile.
“Are you mad?”
“No, I’m just a bit upset you didn’t tell me at least.” Seori turns to look at you, a sigh escaping her lips. “But Jeno’s right. As long as you both are happy together then that’s all that matters right? It’s natural for us to be upset when our friends get hurt, society has this weird notion where once someone does us wrong. We cut them out of our life but I think we could all use a little bit of forgiving in our life.”
“But also remember that just because someone forgives you doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ll want you back in their life.” You all nod your head, watch as Seori gets up from her seat. “Let’s just hope Mark forgives you and let’s you back into his life.”
A couple weeks had passed by since the incident and it’s sad to say that you hadn’t heard from either Mark or Seori.
Apparently they’ve been busy helping Johnny with the whole preparation of his wedding but you can’t help but feel like they’re using that as an excuse to avoid you. However, Seori reassures you they’re not avoiding you and that Johnny and his wife really are occupying them. You take her word for it, after all you’ve never been a part of a wedding before so you have no idea what goes on behind the scenes.
It makes you feel lonely.
You no longer have movie nights, they no longer come over to your apartment to hang out anymore, no more study dates in the library and your group chat with them seems as if it doesn’t exist either.
However, Jaemin fills the void for them.
Sometimes movie nights are replaced with cafe hopping. The goal Jaemin has made with you is to go and see every cafe that Korea has to offer. You tell him it’ll take months, even years for that to happen and he tells you he’s completely fine with that, “As long as it’s with you, I don’t care how long it takes.” Study dates become more frequent with Jaemin actually studying with you and not helping you out this time around. More so, it’s the other way around where you’ve been helping him study instead. Just like tonight, Jaemin is over at your apartment for his last study session before the big midterm tomorrow. You’ve longed forgiven him, if it wasn’t obvious enough but you’ve strictly told him that you wanted to stay as friends—for now at least but you didn’t tell him that part.
“Y/n.” Jaemin calls out.
He had taken a break from studying, brain practically fried from all the muscles and their function. He’s been rereading the same sentence about the fibula for the past five minutes. So he’s decided to rest his eyes on you, watching you type away on your laptop. Sometimes you’ll pout your lips in deep thought or rip the dried skin patches from your lips, flinching when you’ve ripped a bit too much.
You let out a hum, eyes not even sparing him a glance. “Did you need another quiz?”
Jaemin cringes at the thought, shaking his head vigorously, “No I need a longer break.” he whines, body slouching onto the table. “Hm, you sure? You’ve been staring at me for a while now.” Jaemin gasps after being caught, “If you don’t want a quiz then what is it?”
“Be my plus one for Johnny’s wedding.” That finally gets your attention, fingers stopping their clacking on the keyboard as your head turns towards him, eyes finally meeting his. “What?”
Jaemin hums, realizing he should have asked instead of demanded it. “Can you—ah no. Will you be my plus one?”
You chuckle, fingers continuing to type. Acting as if you weren’t flustered by his question. “Why’re you bringing that up now all of a sudden?”
He shrugs, “Well the wedding is next week and I had no one to go with—”
“You have Jeno.”
Jaemin rolls his eyes, “Are you really going to make me say it?”
“I want to go with you.”
“You should be focusing on your midterm~” you coo.
“Then how about we make a deal?” You hum, letting him continue. “If I pass this midterm, then you have to be my plus one.”
“What if you don’t pass?”
Jaemin scoffs, “Princess I’m 200% confident I’m going to pass this midterm, even the extra credit!”
You chuckle in hopes that covers up the blush blooming on your cheeks from the pet name. “How can you be so confident?”
“Because my princess helped me.” This time you can’t hide the way your cheeks burn, what’s worse is that Jaemin catches it but he doesn’t comment on it rather he continues to adore your flustered state. “So will you accept my deal?”
“Sure. Sure. Whatever you want.”
He wags his pencil in front of your face, “You better not back out on your word!” you silently watch from the corner of your eye as Jaemin dives straight into his book again, eyes skimming over words and mouth moving as he mumbles the words to himself. A small smile breaking out onto your lips. “Seriously what am I going to do with you Na Jaemin.”
The next day comes faster than you expected.
Jaemin had ended up spending the night after an immense amount of begging and persuading on his part and lucky for him, you didn’t have any class so you were able to sneak in some extra studying up until his class.
“God I haven’t been this nervous in a while.” Jaemin whispers to you, fingers fiddling with the clip of his lead pencil.
“When was the last time you were nervous?” You asked in hopes it’ll help get his mind off of the test.
“When I confessed to you that night.” He says with no hesitation. “And the hospital,” he cringes, shaking his head to try to erase the thought. “I never wanna go back there.”
You chuckle, hand coming up to pat his back in a soothing manner. “I’m sure you’ll do well. You’ve literally memorized this whole stack.”
“Right...Right…” The classroom door swings open and kids begin filing out. It only makes Jaemin more nervous. Jaemin doesn’t follow the rest of his classmates as they’ve begun to head into the classroom. “Hey what happened to Mr.200 percent?” You chuckle, rubbing his back at this point to urge him inside. “Come on, it’s time for you to go—I’ll be out here waiting for you if that makes you feel any better?”
“Promise?” He holds up his pinky and you roll your eyes but nonetheless wrap your own pinky around his. “I promise, now go~”
He nods, scurrying into class. You shake your head, pulling out your earphones and getting ready to watch some episodes of We Bare Bears when Jaemin is coming back outside again.
“Hey, don’t tell me you’re really ditch—oofm.” You don’t get to finish your sentence because Jaemin is enveloping your body into a hug. He squeezes your waist, pulling your body into his as if he was trying to absorb you whole, head nuzzling into your neck. “Thank you Y/n.”
You chuckle, “Jeez, this could have waited until after you were done with the test.”
You’re about three episodes in when you notice kids are coming out of class, and it seems that they’ve finished the quiz quite early. You look up every time the door swings up, disappointment to not see Jaemin come out yet. About the sixth time you’ve lifted your head, you regret doing so. You’d never thought you’d see her again, the waitress from the diner. It only makes your stomach churn more when she makes eye contact with you, scoffing as she shoves her hands into her pocket and makes her way towards you. You inhale deeply, removing your earphones and shoving them into your pocket, copying her pose.
“Well if it isn’t my favorite person in the whole wide world.” She smiles, the sarcasm oozing out of her. “Thanks for getting me fired by the way.”
This time it was your turn to scoff, “You did that to yourself. Don’t blame your problems on other people.”
She laughs, “Easy there tiger. I really meant the ‘thank you’ that diner was a hell-hole anyways.” She crosses her arms in an attempt to warm herself up more, as if she wasn’t already wearing a puffy-jacket. “What’re you doing sitting here anyways, you don’t look like a kinesiology or a nursing major.” She lifts a hand to rub at her chin before her eyes widen, an eyebrow scrunching up. “No way, don’t tell me you’re dating that prick again.”
“We’re not dating.”
She scoffs, “That’s really hard to believe. Listen lady—”
“Whatever, look. You’re making a big mistake letting that bastard back into your life—I swear it feels like the Gods are going against me by having us in the same class.”
“Why do you care what I do with my life? We don’t even know each other.”
“I’m just trying to help you not waste your time and emotions on some worthless scum—”
You sigh, “I’m getting real tired of people trying to tell me who I can and cannot hang out with! Look waitress—”
She rolls her eyes, “It’s Bora.”
“Like I give two shits. I appreciate all the warnings but I can take care of myself. I don’t need you, a stranger, who disrespects my friend, to tell me what to do. Apologize to him.”
“No, you’re crazy if you think I’m just gonna sit around and let you call my friend names? I’m just doing what any normal person would. Apologize!”
“I’m going to fuck up your nose job—”
“Y/n.” You turn to find Jaemin approaching the two of you, body blocking yours in a protective stance. “I’m sorry,” Bora’s eyes widened before she let out a scoff.
“You don’t even know what you’re apologizing for—”
“I’m sorry for not taking your feelings seriously. I should have been upfront with you, rejected you properly instead of being a coward and running off with another girl.” Bora hates the way his apology sounds so genuine, she wants to vomit all over him maybe even pour soda over his stupid handsome face again. “I’m not asking for forgiveness—you don’t have to forgive me either. I’ve been wanting to apologize for a while but you dip from class so fast, I never get the chance to.” Jaemin chuckles a bit.
“Whatever.” and with a roll of her eyes she’s walking away.
“Hey, apologize you bitch—” a hand comes over your mouth to muffle your scream. “Whaf?” you screamed through Jaemins’ hand causing him to chuckle. “Hey some of my classmates are still taking the test.”
Your eyes widen, remembering. Hands coming up to pull his away from your mouth, “How was it? You took longer than I thought you would.”
He chuckles, “I finished 10 minutes into the test but I was sitting there contemplating and quadrupling checking my answers because it felt too easy—there’s that saying ya’ know, ‘if it’s too easy, you’re doing something wrong.’”
“Well what happens if it’s because you’re doing something right?” you retort. Jaemin smiles, throwing his arms around you and lets out a sigh. “I wish I had your optimism.”
You chuckle, “Should we go out to celebrate?”
He nods, breaking away from you and digging into his backpack for his phone. “It seems like Jeno wants to, he texted me this morning to let him know when I was done. Says something about Jisung wanting to treat us.”
“Nice~” you coo, looking over his phone to find out your face is plastered as his lock screen. “Hey, when did you take that?” you managed to snatch his phone, staring in horror as you take a good look at your sleeping face on the screen. There’s eye boogers and dried drool covering your face, not to mention the way your mouth is open. You’re well aware that Jaemin likes you, so you don’t find it weird but of all the photos he could have used!
“What? You look cute!”
“I look awful~” you whine, handing him back his phone because ‘No Jam Jeno’ is calling.
Jaemin rolls his eyes, a smile gracing his lips as he answers. “Hey where are you? I just finished. Uh-huh, alright we’ll meet you there then—the parking lot right? Alright, drive safe.”
Jaemin shoves his phone into his pocket and smiles at your pouty self. He throws his arm around you, “Come on, Jeno is on his way to get us.”
It turns out the only reason why Jisung decided to treat the three of you was because he needed some essay revisions. Although Jaemin wasn’t too keen on the idea, whining to you all that he’s a terrible essay writer, he helped out the best he could.
“Why’d you think I became a kinesiology major? To get away from having to type essays!”
“But you want to become a kinesiotherapist. Don’t you have to type at least a couple of essays?” Jeno chuckles.
“Which is why I don’t get such a good grade on either of them.”
“Hey I helped you study, it’s only right if you helped me revise my essay.” Jisung pouts, throwing a fry onto Jaemin’s plate.
“Jisung’s right. All you have to do is read and correct. ” You chuckle.
Time sure does fly by, you thought to yourself as you add the finishing touches to your makeup.
That same night you went out to celebrate Jaemin’s midterm was also the same night he had gotten his grades back. Not only did he ace the test but he also aced all four of the extra credit questions. Not only was he out of the D’s, his grade had shot up to a B, but that meant you were going to Johnny’s wedding as his plus one.
You’ve never been to a wedding, let alone have been a plus one—Seori always takes Mark as her plus one. So you didn’t know what was appropriate or not. You have been shopping the past few days leading up to the wedding but nothing really stood out to you. You didn’t want to buy a dress solely for the wedding and you also wanted to be able to wear it out as well. You only own a couple of dresses, all feel too casual except for the black slip dress Seori had gifted you for your birthday. It was meant to be worn out whenever you went clubbing however, you hate clubbing so the dress only ever got to see the day of light when Seori had birthday lunches. There's a knock at your apartment door followed by a vibration to your phone. Just Jaemin notifying you that he’s arrived.
You scurry over, opening the door for him with a smile on your face. He’s dawning a dusty blue suit, hair slicked back to expose his forehead. “Wow, don’t you clean up nicely.” you chuckle, retreating back into your home “I’m almost done, I just gotta pull out my heels.”
“You’re wearing that?” Jaemin asks and the question causes you to turn with an eyebrow raised. “I’m not saying you look bad—you look gorgeous b-but,” he sighs. “You do know the dress code is blue shades and beige right?” Jaemin asks, handing you the bouquet of flowers.
You thank him before letting out a sigh, “I know, I just couldn’t find a dress I liked.” You pout, inhaling the flowers.
“Well, I got you a little something.” Jaemin smiles, handing the box over to you. You hesitantly reach for the box and Jaemin watches as you open it. “I know you were having a hard time and I was out getting my own suit. Saw this dress and I thought it would look nice on you.”
You gasp softly, already loving the soft material. You pull the whole thing out of the box to fully take a good look. It’s a slate blue long sleeve dress, the color matching up perfectly with Jaemin’s dress. It’s adorned with white yellow flowers, a square neckline, and puffed sleeves. “Please don’t tell me how much this dress cost you.”
Jaemin chuckles, “I had already planned on taking the price to my grave and besides, I wanted to get you it for you.” he walks up to you, hands falling onto your shoulders as he turns you around and gives you a little push. “Now go, you’re gonna make us late with all your staring.”
No more than five minutes pass by and Jaemin’s ears perk up when he hears your bedroom door creak open. The clack of your heels against your hardwood floor echo throughout your apartment as you get closer and Jaemin watches you with doe eyes as you reveal yourself shyly, one hand is holding up your dress as the other wraps around your stomach in a defensive manner.
“C-can you uhm zip me up?”
“Y-yeah of course.” he hurriedly makes his way towards you as you turn around to expose your back. He moves your hair to the side so he doesn’t zip up your hair with it and once he’s finished he steps back.
You turn around, arms finally leaving your upper body to reveal yourself fully. Jaemin’s mouth instantly drops. It’s the first time he’s seen you so dressed up. He’s seen you in a skirt before but nothing as flashy as the dress that you’re wearing right now. It cinches at all the right places, the skirt flows so prettily around you, and the square neckline draws attention to your collarbones quite beautifully. “Wow,” he whispers but loud enough for you to hear. “You’re beautiful.”
The comment makes you blush, finger coming up to scratch your sideburn. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”
“I’m nowhere near as pretty as you are though.” He almost wants to ditch the wedding, wants to whisk you away where it’s only just you and him. Jaemin so badly wants to kiss off the red lippie you chose to wear. If only you were his once more, he’d want to decorate your neck in pretty colors of purple and pinks—to show everyone that you’re not available. He just wants you all to himself but he can’t, not when you’re no longer his anymore. “I asked Seori what your size was, I'm glad it fits you—almost too well.” He chuckles, eyes still admiring you. “You look exactly like a princess.”
You blush, hands coming down to the skirt to lift it up a bit as you take a bow. “Thank you kind sir, for bestowing this dress to me.” The gesture causes Jaemin to chuckle as he places a hand to his heart and bows to you as well. “The pleasure is all mine.”
You’re grabbing your purse off the kitchen table to reach for your keys. “Alright, I guess we should get going.” you smile, “Should I drive?”
“I was hoping I could drive us?” You nod, handing him your keys. You double check to make sure you have everything in your purse before heading out the door with Jaemin.
The venue is breathtaking, you don’t expect anything less from Johnny. His parties were always so grand. White floral canopies hang from the ceiling, the aisle where the groomsmen, bridesmaids and the soon-to-be wedded couple will be walking down is lined with white roses. The reception area is decorated just the same with a sprinkle of fairy lights here and there.
It’s where everyone is currently waiting, until they’re called into the venue to take their appointed seats. You stick beside Jaemin, not quite fully knowing anyone at the wedding besides him. Mark’s a groomsmen and Jaehyun was made best man while Seori was a part of the bridesmaid so the three of them had their hands full and couldn’t keep you company.
Jaemin leans over to whisper into your ear, “You look like you’re having the time of your life.”
You scoff, sipping on your glass of apple cider. A bit sad that wine won’t be distributed until the reception. “Am I being that obvious?”
He rubs at your back in a soothing manner, “A little,” Jaemin smiles, “Do you want to go take some pictures at the photobooth? It’s free~” he sings.
“Sure, anything to kill this boredom.” He takes a hold of your glass before setting it down and holding onto your hand gently to lead you to the photobooth.
It’s a self operating photobooth, just like all the ones at the fair. You're waiting patiently for your turn. The folks in the booth at the moment are being rather loud and you wonder how many of them are in there because some of them are standing with their heads stuck into the booth. There's also one person half sitting half crouching on the floor and you can’t help but grimace at the pain he must be enduring just to get a photo together.
One of the boys that were standing outside of the booth finally gets the chance to stand up straight, head coming out of the booth as he lays a hand on his spine to tap at it with a fist. “Oh man can someone tell me why we just couldn’t take turns with one another?”
The curtain draws open and you finally get a good look at how many people were shoved in. It causes Jaemin to laugh, his hand leaving yours as he walks up and wraps an arm around one of the boy’s shoulders. “Wow I’m hurt that you all took a picture without me!”
“Ugh can you please get your arms off of me, you’re weighing me down.”
“Taeyong don’t be like that~” Jaemin whines, “I haven’t seen you since you left for college!” It turns out they’re all friends with each other and you also watch as they all file out of the booth one by one. “Geez how the hell all of you fit in there?” Jaemin laughs, high fiving a few of them and giving them a hug.
The only one you know out of the five is Ten, although you don’t know Ten that well he’s still a face you’re familiar with. Amongst the boys two of them stood out the most to you. It was definitely because of their tall stature, they exude so much charisma, almost as if they were models or some sort. You wouldn’t be surprised if they were. “Did you come alone?” one of the tall boys’ asks.
Ten asks, “You didn’t bring Y/n?”
“Y/n? Did the two of you get back together?”
Jaemin lets out a sigh before stepping aside, revealing you. You shyly wave and Ten is smiling big waving rather excitedly at you. You can’t help but give him the same energy back. It’s contagious.
“Wow, I didn’t think the dress would look so good on you.” you turn to meet a boy with raven black hair.
Giving him a shy smile you say, “Thank you, Jaemin picked it out.”
The boy smiles, “I know he did, he bought it at my shop!”
You turn to look at Jaemin with a puzzled look, “Taeyong is a fashion designer. He made that dress.”
“It’s one of my simpler dresses but wow, you make it look extravagant!”
Jaemin clears his throat to gather everyone's attention, not really liking the way Taeyong smiles at you. “Everyone this is Y/n my—'' he looks at you, eyes searching for an answer. “Friend…” he smiles with an awkward twitch. “Y/n this is Doyoung, Taeyong, Jongin, and Lucas. You already know Ten.” you wave awkwardly a tight smile on your lips because you don’t know how to act with all this attention on you.
“Oh so you’re y/n~” Lucas coos, wagging his finger at you. “I heard a lot of things about you.” Doyoung shoves his elbow into Lucas’s side, causing the tall boy to let out a yelp. “S-sorry, don’t worry about him.” Doyoung nervously laughs.
“Yeah he thinks just cause he’s some hot shot now he can be rude to people. You still have a long way to catch up to me” Jongin laughs, wrapping an arm around Lucas’s shoulder.
Lucas scoffs, “You’re just jealous Burberry made me their ambassador and not you!” Lucas whines, rubbing his sides.
Jongin rolls his eyes. “I’m more than happy—ecstatic even, being with Gucci thank you very much.”
“Okay kiddos, I think it's time we go see if Johnny needs help.” Taeyong chuckles, “It was nice meeting you Y/n. I hope we can chat more before the night ends.” He smiles, dragging the giants along with him with Doyoung and Ten following right behind them.
“Shall we then?” Jaemin says, arm gesturing towards the booth.
As the two of you settle in the booth, you’re aware just how cramped it is. The left side of your body is squished into Jaemin’s right side, warmth radiating off of him despite the layers. Jaemin hums mindlessly as he’s clicking through the options. “How about you choose the options this round and I’ll choose the next?” you nod, reaching over to choose.
You’ve decided on a horizontal format, keeping the border white, fairly simple. Once you click the okay sign, the countdown begins at 5 and both you and Jaemin’s eyes are blown wide in panic. “W-what should we do?” you ask.
“U-uh I don’t know!”
“Ah we only have one second—”
The photo gets captured and the countdown begins again. You and Jaemin look at each other before bursting into a fit of giggles. Shocked to the point where only laughter comes out and before you know it the picture is being taken again.
“This machine has to be broken, don’t they usually give you 10 seconds to pose?” You ask.
“Taeyong and them must have done something—oh no we only have 2 seconds.” Jaemin throws his arm quickly over you, his free hand coming up to squish your cheeks and shoving your face next to his, putting up a kissy face of his own.
You shove his hands away, rubbing at your cheeks. “Na Jaemin, you’re gonna wipe off my makeup!” you smack him in the chest. The booth warned you to prepare for your last pose.
“Oh so it can warn us when our last pose is but won’t give us an option to change the timer.” Jaemin whines.
You land another smack to his chest, “Hey, don’t try to change the subject. Did you or did you not wipe off my makeup? Is my foundation still there?” You grabbed him by the lapels of his suit to get him to pay attention to you.
“Ow princess, kinky are we?”
Just as you let out a gasp and Jaemin is bursting into a fit of giggles, the sound of the camera shutters goes off and the booth lets you know that your photos are being printed. You groan, letting go of his suit before shoving him with your elbow.
Jaemin chuckles, hand already making their move as he chooses his options. “Alright now that we know how this works,” he moves an arm around your waist, pulling you in closer to him—as if that was even possible. “We can have cuter pictures.”
Jaemin has the biggest smile on his face, head leaning onto yours. You match his smile just before the click. Jaemin doesn’t pull away instead keeping you flush against him. His hand coming up to do a peace sign, lips jutting out to do a kissy face, and you kept help but follow in his lead—not even sure what to do yourself. After the click, Jaemin turns his head to look at you, you doing the same when your breath gets caught in your throat. Jaemin is so close to you that your noses are touching. You can feel his breath hitting your lips. The shutter goes off and the booth does it’s ritual of warning the two of you that it’s your last pose, however it falls on death ears. The hammering of your own heartbeat erupting your ears. Jaemin’s eyes are blown wide, they keep casting down to your lips and you catch the pink tinge on his cheeks. You’re glad you’re not the only one nervous here. “Can I…” Jaemin starts, goosebumps erupting your skin when you feel his lips graze against yours. His hand coming up to cradle your cheek.“Please can I kiss you?”
“Yeah—” you feel like your drunk, head hazy the second Jaemin crashes his lips fully onto yours. He’s leaning into you with his whole body that he has you backed up against the booth. You have to pull away to catch your breath but Jaemin doesn’t let up as his kisses make their way down your cheek and lips latch onto your neck. A part of you wants to stop him because you know what he’s going to do but you can’t find your voice, too absorbed into the moment so you let him suck hues of pink and purples into your neck.
The moment is interrupted when there's a knock at the booth and the curtain is drawn open. “Hi sorry, I got a file complaint from someone—oh Y/n?”
“Oh shit I-I’m so sorry!” He shuts the blinds. “Uh-uhm folks, the wedding is about to start soon. Why don’t we all head to our seats.” You hear Jeno say a few moments go bye and Jeno is ripping the currents open again.
“I didn’t expect to find you two in here.” Jeno says, pulling out his handkerchief and hands it to Jaemin, who only looks at him confusingly. “You got lipstick all over you.”
“Ah… thanks.” Jaemin says before taking it and turning towards you, a chuckle leaving his mouth. He’s pulling out his own handkerchief, hand coming up to move your chin up so he can clean up the mess he made. You blush, eyes looking everywhere but at Jeno and Jaemin.
Jeno lets out a sigh, casting down to look at his watch. “Alright you guys have roughly 7 minutes to get ready, the wedding is actually gonna start soon.” He chuckles, rushing off.
The wedding ceremony was beautifully breathtaking and even entertaining. You watched as the groomsmen and bridesmaid strutted the aisle as if it were their runway. Jaehyun was up first and you almost laughed when he acted too hard into being sexy, biting his lip and raising a brow. The maid of honor posing as if she were covering for vogue. It made everyone in the venue chuckle. You almost cry from laughter when you see Mark and Seori. You hadn’t seen them act this way before, always shying away when you wanted to snap photos of the two. The fun continues as Doyoung, Taeyong, Jongin, Ten, and Lucas come out with their partners too.
When the music changes you all stand up and watch as Johnny is escorted by who you believe are his parents. He’s dashingly handsome, smiling from ear to ear as he tries to console his mother whose tears are escaping her eyes. The anticipation is daunting once Johnny reaches the end and it’s suddenly silent. The music starts up again and finally the door opens to reveal the bride. Although you don’t know the couple all too well, you were a crying mess the moment the bride had walked down the aisle. There’s just something about seeing other people crying that makes you cry, and Johnny was crying waterfalls.
The bride’s dress blends so well with the aesthetics of the wedding. It’s a strapless corset dress, the skirt along with the train is decorated in flowers—she looked like a fairy princess. Jaemin had told you that Taeyong had handmade that dress for her, made with the best silk, tulle, lace, and even chiffon. When the couple say their heartfelt vows, the words ‘you may now kiss the bride’ is spoken, and the whole venue goes into an uproar, you all make your way to the reception area. Finally the moment you’ve been waiting for are the glasses of wines being distributed. Jaemin is quick to steal a glass for you, knowing that you’ve been wanting it since the moment you got there.
You’re sat at the table across from the groomsmen, Jaehyun excitedly waving at you and you returning the same energy. He mouths, ‘you look beautiful’ and you blush at the compliment mouthing back ‘so do you’. Jaehyun chuckles, pointing before you realize he’s pointing at Jaemin who has a scowl on his face. Jaemin introduces you to more of his friends who go by the name of Renjun, Chenle, and Haechan. Jisung and Jeno join you later when all the guests have taken their seats.
After everyone has had their fair share of food and the main couple have hit the dance floor for their dance. Everyone else is welcomed on the dance floor. By now this part of the wedding turns into chaos, but it's good chaos. There are folks dancing on the dance floor either drunk or enjoying themselves, some are having idle chit chat at their tables or going for their third plate.
You’re on your second glass of wine, thanks to Jaemin who gave you his. Since he’s the designated driver he gave you his share of wine. You’re watching amusingly as Chenle and Jisung argue about their latest FIFA match together, with Chenle whining about how Jisung had definitely cheated to win.
Jaemin leans over to whisper into your ear. “Do you want more?” he gestures to your wine glass. “I can give you Jenos’ and Jisungs. Jeno has to drive and Jisung doesn’t like alcohol.” you shake your head along with your hand. A chuckle escaping your mouth.
“Are you trying to get me drunk?”
Jaemin feigns hurt, “And here I was being a good friend and just offering you more wine because I know how much you love it.”
“I don’t want to be that one person at the wedding wildin’ it out and puking all over myself when I already don’t know more than half of the folks here.”
“Touche” Jaemin chuckles as he takes a sip from his water.
You feel a pair of hands at your shoulders, making you flinch and nearly spilling the wine in your hand. A chuckle erupts and you know all too well who it’s from. “Jung Jaehyun!”
“You done cradling your drink? I wanna dance with you.”
You sigh, watching the liquid swirl in the wine glass before setting it down with a curt nod. “That’s right, I should get up and move otherwise I’ll get tipsy.”
Jaemin watches sadly as you get up from your seat. It goes unnoticed by you but Jaehyun definitely catches it. “Don’t worry I’ll bring her back.” He chuckles, a reassuring hand coming up to squeeze his shoulder in hopes that comforts him.
“I can feel him burning holes in my head.” Jaehyun whispers in your ear before he’s twirling you. Arm coming around to secure it around your waist as your hands come up to hold onto his shoulder. “I wonder why—”
Jaehyun chuckles, “Please Y/n don’t play dumb with me. It’s only natural for boyfriends to be a bit overprotective with their girlfriends.”
You shake your head, “Jae he’s not my boyfriend—”
“Oh yeah? Then explain the hickies on your neck.”
You gasp, hand coming up to grasp your neck, long forgotten they were there. “Does it look bad? How many are there?”
Jaehyun chuckles, “You have two big ones on either side of your neck and a light one right in the middle.”
You sigh, “No wonder why people were staring at me weird.”
“Well it’s quite obvious he’s treating you right, but if he doesn’t…” his voice trails off after making eye contact with his friend. “Then I’ll just have to steal you away.” He gives you a wink and before you can make a comment someone clears their throat behind you. When you turn around, you find Mark standing there. He grimaces at the splotches on your neck before pulling out a handkerchief and tying it around your neck. “Gosh Y/n have some decency.” He jokes, “Can I have a dance?” he has his palm out for you to take and with some hesitation you take it. “Y-yeah sure.”
He places a hand on your waist. The hand holding onto yours stays cradled up. “How’s the wedding so far? Meet anybody new?” Mark asks casually but really he’s a nervous wreck. He hasn’t seen you since the cafe and he didn’t leave in a pretty way. You nod your head, “I met all the groomsmen. Even Renjun, Chenle, and Haechan too.”
“Yeah, how do you know Jaehyun anyways?”
You chuckle, “I mean he is a son of a cafe owner.” The comment makes Mark chuckle.
“Of course, I should have known sooner or later you would eventually meet him.”
Mark sighs before looking up at you. “Listen, I’m sorry about the way I acted at the cafe and no we weren’t avoiding you. I promise it was because of Johnny's wedding—you know Seori tells me everything.” he adds the last part when you had raised an eyebrow at him. “You guys were right. It’s your life, your decisions and if you’re happy, then I should be too.”
“I’m sorry too,” you start. “I should have told you guys—”
Mark shakes his head. “No, you didn’t. You’re not obligated to tell us everything. Although it may have helped lessen the thoughts swirling up in here.” hsi finger comes up to tap at your forehead. “But yeah, you’re not obligated to tell us everything that's going on in your life. We should stop expecting it from you just because we have that best friend title.”
He twirls you for the second time before bringing you back, “It’s just—I know how Jaemin could be and I know how he acts. I was so sure he was going to act out again but it’s my first time seeing him so serious. I heard from Jeno he even aced his midterm for you.”
“It’s the proudest I’ve ever been of him.” you chuckle.
“I heard you still haven’t made a decision, on whether or not you want to continue with him.” you let out a sigh at the comment, a sullen look graces your face.
“Hey, hey.” Mark panics a bit, “whatever choice you make, I’ll respect it ‘though, you don’t need it anyways. I know you know the answer Y/n and it’s okay to be scared. Embrace it. Don’t be afraid of it.”
You’re about to respond when there’s a tap on Mark’s shoulder. You peer to the side as Mark turns around to find Jaemin sheepishly standing there. Mark chuckles, “Guess my turn is over now.” he turns back to you and pulls you in a hug. “You look beautiful by the way. Forgot to tell you.”
“Thank you, for everything Mark.” with a pat to your back he lets go before pulling Jaemin into a hug. The affection shocked him too. “We’ll talk later,” he says before turning around, two fingers coming up to his eyes before pointing at you both. “I’m watching you guys.”
Jaemin shyly walks up to you, “It’s our song.”
You stopped for a moment to actually listen to the song. You were so absorbed from the conversations from before you hadn’t realized the song had changed. “Princess,” Jaemin calls, grabbing your attention. “May I have the pleasure of dancing with you?”
You giggle, “The pleasure is all mine.”
Jaemin smiles as he guides your arms to wrap around his neck before wrapping his own around your waist. Perfect by Ed Sheeran is luling in the background. Jaemin is singing along with the song rather dramatically, you can't help but let out a giggle at his goofiness as he continues to rock you both back and forth. It feels like it’s just the two of you. You remember all those tipsy nights when you and Jaemin would dance to this song at two in the morning.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
That piqued his curiosity, “About?”
“That’s a secret~” you coo. Jaemin feigns hurt and he’s trying to leave the dance floor. You're laughing, apologizing as you’re pulling him back to you.
“I was just thinking about all those times we’d dance to this song in my apartment at like two in the morning.”
Jaemin smiles, “I was thinking about the same thing.” Jaemin leans his forehead on yours, eyes closing as he continues to hum to the song.
He then pulls away just a bit before he tries to tip you and it’s rather awkward because his legs are on either side of your body, crouched down into a squatting position with his butt sticking up in the air so it’s not touching your legs. A laugh erupts from your lips as you’re smacking his chest to bring you back up. Your laughter only pursues him to tip you further to the ground. It’s not until you’re smacking him harder does he obey your command. You can feel the burning sensation of your ears, “Gosh you’re so embarrassing. I hate you.”
Jaemin knows you don’t mean it, especially because you’re smiling. “But I love you,”
The sudden confession makes your chest tighten, eyes looking up to meet his. “I love you Y/n.” he says it once more.
“I love you…” his forehead comes down to meet yours again, nose brushing against each other and lips millimeters apart. “So much.” he finishes.
Jaemin doesn’t move any closer, unsure whether or not if you feel the same. He doesn’t want to kiss you if you don’t have any feelings for him back but he remembers the photo booth and how you had kissed him back. Surely that meant something right? You wouldn’t be the type to kiss someone just for the heck of it. “I know I said I would wait, for as long as it takes. And I'm a jackass for saying this but I can’t. I can’t wait anymore.”
“I love you Y/n,” Jaemin starts, “and I know that I love you because the way you call my name is different when Jeno does—when anybody does for that matter. It makes me smile, makes the butterflies in my stomach come alive. Makes me feel all fuzzy and warm. I want to hold you whenever I want to—hug you and never let go even if it’s summer and it’s like 100 degrees outside and we’re all sweaty. I don’t want to let you go. You make me feel complete. ”
“I want to be together with you again, as your boyfriend. As your lover, but if you don’t feel the same way then please tell me.”
You close the distance between the two of you and Jaemin swears it feels like fireworks are going off. How can you be both the chaos and the calm for him? Jaemin swears you can just smile at him and all his troubles will melt away and then you can pull bold moves like this and send his mind into overdrive, body craving for more.
you break away for a bit, “I love you.” before diving back in and whispering it onto his lips again. “I love you Na Jaemin.”
His heart is filling up with so much happiness, it feels like it’s going to burst. Jaemin could cry right now. He dips you again, catching you off guard as a yelp leaves your mouth. You smack him against his shoulder earning a giggle from him. “Oh my—Jaemin pull me back up!”
“Say it again.”
“Tell me you love me.” there's a hint of desperation in his voice. It’s almost if he’s begging you to say it again, just to confirm it with himself and so you do. One hand coming up to massage the nape of his neck. “I love you Na Jaemin.”
“To the moon and back?” he whispers against your lips.
“To the ends of this galaxy.”
he gasps. “That’s a lot, princess.” he raises you back up to your feet. “I should’ve been the one to say that.” he pouts. “Doesn’t matter I love you more.”
“Shut up, I love you more.”
“Nope there's no way, I love you more.”
You roll your eyes, knowing that this argument could keep going on forever.
But for the record, you know you love Jaemin more.
[ M A S T E R L I S T ]
126 notes · View notes
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓓𝓲𝓪𝓻𝔂 𝓞𝓯 𝓙𝓪𝓷𝓮 (𝓨𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓮!𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰) 𝓡𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓭
𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: 𝑌𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑒! 𝐾𝑎𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑒𝑜𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑔 (𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧)/ 𝐴𝑐𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠! 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 (𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒)
𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: 𝐴𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡, 𝐹𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓, 𝑆𝑚𝑢𝑡, 𝐻𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑟/𝑃𝑠𝑦𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 𝑇ℎ𝑟𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑟, 1930'𝑠 𝐸𝑟𝑎.
𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝐶𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 4.3𝐾
𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: 𝑌𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑒ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑟 𝑠𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑏𝑠𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝑠𝑒𝑥𝑢𝑎𝑙 𝑓𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑒𝑠, 𝑝𝑠𝑦𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑖𝑠, 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑖𝑎, 𝑔𝑜𝑟𝑒/𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑠, 𝑠𝑢𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒, 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ, 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑠 '𝐽𝑎𝑛𝑒'.
𝑇𝑎𝑔 𝐿𝑖𝑠𝑡: @hanatiny @yunhofingers @multidreams-and-desires @aixy-hpsa
"𝐴𝑠 𝐼 𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑝𝑎𝑔𝑒, 𝐴𝑠 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑦, 𝐼 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑡𝑟𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒, 𝐼𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝐽𝑎𝑛𝑒..."- 𝐵𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐵𝑒𝑛𝑗𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑛
ೋ❀❀ೋ═══ •• ═══ೋ❀❀ೋ
The dark and eerie dense fog that shrouded around the somber and serene graveyard felt as cold as the lifeless bodies that now layed under the soft brown earth. Sculpted angels, white crucifixes, and even bells served as ornaments for some of the tombstones and burial grounds that were meticulously scattered throughout the cemetery. Underneath shadow of the clouds that darkened the daylight, with only slight slivers of rays from the sun piercing through slight cracks as his guide, the handsome male with skin as pale as death itself and a face that seemed to be sculpted in heaven took slow and heavy steps, ignoring all other distractions around him, including the rustling of leaves, a tiny woodland creature scurrying past him or even the distant noises of the groundskeeper......or body snatchers.
None of that mattered to him, his gaze was only focused on the magnificently sculpted stone that he was now standing in front of. He let out a heavy sigh, tears held back as his hand gently grazed upon the letters that had been beautifully engraved into the hard block.
Jane Bryan~ 1917-1939
Sinking to his knees, he stared at the cold hearted reality that he was now living in, unable to feel anything but a hollow and aching void inside his body as his dearly beloved soulmate had been merciless torn apart from his side, before he ever got the chance to confess his deep love and admiration for her.
Reaching into the inside of his dark grey trenchcoat, he pulled out a crimson red journal, the sides of the pages that had once been white, were now more of a light beige color that had come as a result of time, the once smooth pages now somewhat wrinkled up from the constant use it had been given. He skipped all the meaningless first entries, having already read and re-read them many times in the sanctuary of his and comfort of his home, it wasn't anything that most of the public didn't already know. The motivation and driving force of why she chose her career path in the first place, the struggles and poverty she faced at the beginning, and finally her sudden breakthrough and rise to fame. Although many would argue that had it not been for that, he would have never found out about her and would have never even spared a glance at her.....
But Yeosang knew that was all blasphemous accusations that had absolutely no foundation. From the beginning, probably even before his own birth, he already desired and yearned for her. He was destined to be with her....
But alas, fate was cruel to strip him of his hope and chance at happiness, with nothing more than a few pages to help him endure these past days that were nothing but a torment to him.
Finally, coming to the section that truly mattered, he began recounting all the events and scenes that had elapsed over the past year......
One that ended in tragedy.
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"My lady, these just arrived for you."
Looking at her sharply dressed maid through her vanity mirror, the diva smiled and gesture for her to place them on the dresser next to her. After dismissing her maid, the girl put down the hairbrush that had been thoroughly combing through her [insert color] hair, the locks at the very end slightly turned outward from the previous curling session they had endured the day before. Scanning through the series of letters and gifts her charming and adoring fans had sent to her, a bright smile was plastered on her face, enthusiastic about getting to open them and read their comforting and heartwarming words they had to say for her.
As she came across the last stack, her heart dropped when she felt the familiar feeling of the yellow parchment envelope that she had been so used to receiving by now. As per custom, two rose buds had been carefully tied to it, one pure white and the other crimson red. Her thumb brushed across the seal that had the letters "KY" imprinted on it, waiting to be broken off so she could peer into the nearly poetic phrases of adoration that would often spill out from the page.
Taking a deep breath, and against her better judgment, she broke off the seal and with shaky hands, she held up the paper and began reading it aloud:
"My dearest Jane,
You looked absolutely ethereal in your latest film. As soon as it was released, I was sitting in front of my television, watching in earnest every little detail, every wave of your hands, every step your feet took and every smile you had. Words alone cannot fully describe how incredibly beautiful and mesmerizing you are..........
In short, to this day I still remain your most loyal and greatest admirer.
It would have been nothing more to another love letter to her, had the postscript at the bottom of every page not sent shockwaves coursing down her spine.
"P.S, have you considered wearing more light blue? The chiffon blouse and skirt set you wore last week while walking through the gardens looked ethereal on you love."
Her hands dropped the paper, letting it fall directly onto the marble floor. With shaking pupils, her gaze wandered across her room, inspecting every nook and corner, delusion setting in as she felt as though she were being watched by a pair of eyes she could hardly make out. Cautiously standing up, one of her hands wrapped around the yellow silk robe she was wearing, fingers delicately tightening the belt that held it in place. Through dragged out steps, she went to the large and lonely window that looked directly out into the grounds of her enormous house, the many rose bushes and apple trees could still be seen from the moonlight cascading down on it.
As she looked out into the night view, her eyes scanning around for any unusual sightings. She could swear there was somebody moving across the fields, slowly getting closer and closer towards her......she was certain she could make out a slim yet powerful silhouette of an unknown male charging straight at her, hands soon to be pressed against the cold glass....
With a sharp gasp, she quickly drew the long curtains to cover the window, nearly falling backwards onto the floor from how fast she backed away from the window. Through shaky breaths, she quickly pulled back the covers and practically jumped into the mattress of her king sized bed. Tucking herself under the warm embrace of the cotton blankets, she looked over at the lamp by her bedside table. Hesitantly, she reached out to turn it off, but then decided against it. Instead, she opened the drawer in the dresser and pulled out her most trusted and confidential friend, accompanied by its black inked partner. Opening up to the next blank page, she began scribbling down words in an effort to calm her mind and hopefully ease her into a deep slumber.
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The snowy haired male writhed around in his bed, tossing and turning constantly, eyes shut tight with a burning desire to drift off into one of his many dream escapades so he could see his beloved soulmate once again. It was the only thing keeping him sane during the days he had to spend locked up in his home, unable to go wander off into the great estate and spend his day accompanying his beautiful lady as she strolled through her gardens, often attending to the flowers herself because she couldn't trust anyone else to treat them with the tenderness that she meticulously bestowed upon them.
Letting out a pained whimper, he turned his head and coughed slightly into his mouth. His throat was sore, chills running through his body and a tiny trail of mucus sometimes needing to be wiped off his nose, all a result of the the nights he spent outside her window, watching it intensely until the light inside turned off, and even after that, he'd still stay an hour or two more, just in case she was awoken by another one of those terrible nightmares that often frightened and terrorized her, unwilling to let her rest.
He was in agony, he hadn't seen his love in 4 days and it was excruciatingly painful for him not knowing any news about her. Perhaps it was the hours without sleep he had gone through, perhaps his fever was making him get a lucid dream, or perhaps his mind was drifting off in vivid imagination, eyes finally closing......
The cold feeling he had endured was suddenly replaced by a warm body laying next to him, gentle fingers running themselves through his soft hair, earning a groan out of his lips. Opening his eyes, he was blessed by the sight of the most dazzling eyes known to mankind, plump and luscious lips curled into the most breathtaking smile that was aimed for him and only him.
"Jane......my dear Jane..."
One of her fingers pressed against his lips, hushing him quietly.
"I've missed you so much my darling." She admitted, eyes looking sad as her mouth formed into a tiny pout.
Cupping her face, he brought his own face close to hers, his nose nuzzling against hers, foreheads pressed against each other.
"I've missed you too my love."
Unable to hold back any longer, his lips hungrily sought after hers, his body shifting so that he was now hovering above hers. Her hands grasped at his neck, mouth parting to allow his wet muscle entrance inside. Once having been satisfied with that, he moved to her neck, planting wet and desperate kisses across her jaw, down her neck where a chain of purple blotches began to take form like one of the many chokers she was often donning. His hands kneaded at her soft and tender breasts that were covered by her silk nightgown, the pale blue color looking ethereal on her skin. In a rather flimsy manner, his veiny hands pulled the straps off her shoulders and began to remove the article of clothing from her body, the nightgown getting lost somewhere underneath the blankets covering them. He looked backed down as his eyes beheld her in her most beautiful form, completely bare and nude, nothing hidden away from his eyes that were practically ravishing her body already.
Stripping himself out of his own garments, he leaned back down, elbows resting on each side of her head as he sought out her lips once more, faint moans and gasps getting caught in his mouth as he slowly began to enter her, her walls stretching out to accommodate and welcome his thick length into her warm and velvet sanctuary.
He let out a soft groan everytime she mentioned his name, prompting his thrusts to get faster and have her chanting his name over and over like a mantra until she was spilling herself all over his cock, his own sticky release following soon after, leaving them both in a state of bliss and ecstasy.
"I love you so much." His deep and husky voice whispered into her ear.
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Holding up the torn off page, his other hand lit one of the corners with the lighter he had brought with him, watching it slowly become engulfed in flames until it was nothing but nothing but another blackened ruin that now layed on the dirt underneath him, surrounded by many other companions that had been blazed up by the same fate. He let out a sigh and looked back at the tombstone in front of him.
"Why didn't you tell me? Why hide all your pain and suffering from me?........"
He stilled before speaking out the last part.
"And why could I not see it?"
He who watched over her constantly and studied everything about her, how did it never cross his mind that his sweetheart was living in constant fear and agitation from some unknown force that seemed to haunt her inside the walls of her own home? The very place where she was supposed to feel protected and safe? It made absolutely no sense. No matter how many times he read over the last few pages, he could not find one clue or detail alluding to the cause of her phobia.
"The place I once called my haven, has now become my hell, my place of torment. I can't eat, sleep, lounge around nor do any other activities without feeling trapped......I see them....hear them... even as I drift off into the night, the times where I can sleep for at least an hour or two, I can feel their very presence, watching over me. It's truly frightening..........
Where are you? And what do you want from me?"
He cursed himself for not seeing it sooner. Maybe he could have done something to help her, the lord and devil himself knew he'd do anything and go to any lengths for her. He'd live for her, die for her and even kill for her..............
And that was not mere talk, it was the honest truth.....
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"Miss Jane, I have drawn your bath and even added a few drops of the lavender scented oil to help you relax."
The old woman gently touched the girl's shoulder, her touch almost motherly like.
"Please miss....you haven't looked well lately...." Her maid was practically begging at this point.
Realizing she was right, the young woman got up from her couch.
"Thank you Grace. I'll be in in a minute." She assured her.
Her maid excused herself, dreading having to leave her alone for a few hours due to having to go out and fetch a few items for dinner. She was particularly apprehensive about leaving the dear girl alone given how fidgety and anxious she had been, her stress making her more and more agitated as the days went by.
Once she heard the front door shut, it seemed to resonate through her ears, realizing she was all alone.....
And yet she wasn't.
Stepping inside her luxurious bathroom, she untied her bathrobe, letting it drop onto the floor. For a moment, she had been refusing to bathe completely bare, uncomfortable at the thought that someone watching her. So she slowly dipped her foot inside, followed by the other, allowing her expensive nightgown to become soaked inside the bathtub. The lavender scent seemed to relax her body slowly as each minute passed. Her eyes started to get drowsy, all those sleepless nights finally getting to her as a deep fatigue took over her body, making her mind shut down immediately...
She woke up with a sudden gasp, eyes flying open. She was still inside her bathtub but for some reason, the water was all gone and she was completely dry, as if she had never taken a small soak inside.
Her home felt off, it was chillier than usual, and a very dark ambient seemed to be surrounding it. Cautiously slipping out of the tub, she walked out into the corridor and headed straight to her bedroom. She was about to go lay down on her bed, but something made her halt her steps and walk back. Turning her head, she looked over at her vanity dresser. Her eyes furrowed in confusion as her mirror no longer had the glass in it, it was nothing but a mere frame with wood where the reflective material should be.
"That's odd..." She thought to herself as her fingers touched the panel.
Reaching inside one of her drawers, she took out her hand held mirror and discovered it had been tampered with in the same manner as her vanity mirror. The glass was also missing.
Feeling a surge of panic at her home being invaded, especially after all the fretting about someone watching her at all hours of the day, she bolted out of her room and began ransacking through every guest room, bathroom and corner, but all the other mirrors in them were completely removed. Running down the stairs, she nearly tripped from how fast she was coming down them. Going towards the front door, she tried opening it, but it was bolted shut, the door handle wouldn't budge. She began to mercilessly pound on it, screaming for help as tears began fall down her face.
She felt a shadowy presence loom over her.....
Not daring to turn around, she started running down the other corridor that would lead her into the living room where she'd usually attend to her guests. Slamming her hands on it, it opened with absolutely no resistance. As she stepped in, she noticed all the missing mirrors were all placed around the room. Walking closer and closer to them, she inhaled sharply as she stood in front of them.....
And her reflection was nowhere to be seen at all.
Her hand came up to touch her cheek, then forehead and other facial features. Her hands traveled down her neck then to her shoulders as she made sure she was definitely there. Her hand reached out to touch the mirror, confusion overwhelming her as she did not understand why there was no reflection of her at all.
"Don't worry, you may not see yourself, but I see you....and you're extremely beautiful."
She whipped her head around, trying to figure out where the voice came from.
"Who..who's there?" She demanded to know.
"Awww my dear little flower, do you not recognize me? After all the letters I sent you? I am after all your most loyal and greatest admirer."
Hearing those words sent her into a frenzy, nearly knocking down one of the mirrors when she stepped back so abruptly.
"Still don't know? Let me remind you..."
From out of the corner of her eye, she thought she caught sight of some figure moving through the room, reflected only by the mirror beside her.
"So nice of you to help the injured bunny that was in the garden, you truly are a kind hearted soul."
Her heart dropped as she recalled those words from a letter she had received months ago.
"Remember the necklace you were so sad to have lost while out in the gardens? I found it and am returning it to you."
Her body swiftly turned as she felt a gusty of wind past behind her, but there was nothing except the same mirror with both reflection of her, but instead a hand holding up the lost item that had been sent back to her along with the same two roses that were always sent.
"Is your wrist better now? I saw you pricked it while attending to your rose bush."
She let out a yelp when she felt something scratched along her skin. Looking down, she trembled as she saw blood pouring out from her wrist, much like the time she had accidentally cut herself, only this time the wound was deeper and the liquid pouring out was not red but instead a black color that had her turning pale.
"Stop! Leave me alone!" She cried out, making way back towards the door only to find that it wasn't there anymore, she was trapped inside that room of mirrors that still reflected nothing of her figure, but had a shadow silhouette pass through them from time to time.
"Remember when you actually wrote back to me? I still have the letter, your handwriting was so delicate, I could faintly smell the scent of that perfume you always wear."
"Shut up!" She begged the voice, feeling frantic as she began pushing over all the mirrors, letting them smash to pieces on the floor.
"You wrote 'please let it be the last time you write to me such contents.'......I couldn't imagine it, you actually wrote to me! To me, directly from you! The very first love letter you replied to me!" The voice let out a tiny giggle.
"Well then let this be the last reply! I hate you!" She declared.
There was silence for a brief moment, then the voice let out a tiny chuckle.
"Honestly? I don't mind if you say this love is the last time-"
"There's a fine line between love and hate, don't you get it?!" She cut them off, before her hands reached above her head, clutching her ears as she didn't want to hear anymore.
"As I said....I don't mind....I like that." They seemed to taunt her, their voice dangerously close to her now.
Whimpering in fear, she shut her eyes tightly, hoping to wake up out of the nightmare she was living.
"So now I'll ask....do you like that?" She felt someone's breath right on her skin.
Yelling as loud as she could, she punched her fists into the mirror in front of her, slicing more cuts into her skin as she shattered the glass in front of her, but not completely ruining it. Wheezing harshly, she looked up and saw a reflection in the mirror, but it wasn't her own.........
It was someone else's figure behind her, face as ethereal as an angel, but his eyes looked void of any emotions. Lips curling into a slight smile, she gasped as he wrapped a hand around her neck.
"I like that."
Before she knew it, a cold blade was swiftly dragged across her throat, slicing it open with blood splattering all over the mirror and onto the floor underneath her. She could no longer feel anything, her breath being taken right out of her....
The man's eyes were the last image she ever saw....
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Not being able to take it anymore, Yeosang managed to pry the window lock open. He was thankful that it was spacious enough to allow him to easily crawl inside. Landing with a soft thud, he ignored the pain on his right hip as he stood up, carefully looking around hoping to spot his dear beloved somewhere. He had neglected her for far too long, his illness consuming him for nearly a month and he was restless to see her again. Walking through the corridor, he went inside what he discerned to be her bedroom, already familiarized with the outside structure of the house. He did not find her there, but stumbled across a crimson red book that was placed on top of her dresser. Picking it up, he turned to the first page and immediately realized what it was. This was it, her most treasured secrets were now in the palm of his hands. He was about to start skimming through the first pages when he noticed the adjoining room's door was left ajar. Curiosity getting the best of him, he peeked inside and noticed it was a bathroom. He briefly scanned inside, not particularly amazed by anything...
Until his heart dropped when he saw familiar hair and an arm poking out of the bathtub.
He nearly busted the door down from how harsh he pushed it open. Dropping the diary onto the floor, his arms scooped up the frail and colorless body that was submerged inside the now cold water.
He desperately called out to her, his hands shaking her rather forcefully, but to no avail. He looked at the woman he was holding with despair, his heart breaking as he realized she wasn't going to wake up anytime soon.
"No.....no my love!"
He cried in earnest as he held onto her lifeless body, unwilling to let go for a long time. His hand caressed her wet hair, lips placing small and gentle kisses across her face. He just couldn't believe that the love of his life was now gone...forever.
Hearing the front door open and her maid calling out, he looked back at his beloved one last time, placing a desperate and longing kiss first and last kiss on her lips.
"I love you.."
He whispered those words before letting go of her. Making sure to not leave the diary behind, he quickly snuck out of the window, carefully landing on the grass beneath him, running out into the woods surrounding her home and waited....
Waited to see what would happen next.
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His brown eyes looked over the newspaper article that was published not long after that horrible day:
"Famous celebrity actress found dead in her own home by her maid. Investigators say victim fell asleep in her bathtub and accidentally drowned. No foul play is suspected."
Tearing the article apart, he threw the ripped shreds onto the ground before picking up the torn pages he had removed from the diary. Burning the last of the pages he didn't want in there, he stood up and looked back at the tombstone in front of him. Placing the diary on top of it, he turned it to the last page and placed one of his favorite photos of her, followed by one of his own.
Finally now, he had a place in her diary.
Closing the diary, he finished by placing a white and a red rose, bound together with a black ribbon on top of it. Stepping back, he fell to his knees in front of the grave, his eyes glassy from the tears he was holding back. With no hesitation, he reached into his pocket and took out the revolver he had brought with him, specifically because he could not live without his Jane any longer.
"If I have to, I will put myself right beside you.."
Holding up the barrel next to head, he kept a calm and collected stare as his eyes never left the name engraved on the stone.
"Would you like that?"
Saying those final words, his finger pulled on the trigger..........
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You Were Mine || Ch. 07: Desperado
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❝ You’ve avoided Jin since your messy breakup. Enters Jungkook, someone you’d grown to love and care for. But, with the shift in feelings– you make it a point to avoid everyone associated with the two brothers. Well, at least tries to but with how Jungkook felt that was a little easier said than done. Jungkook has a soft spot for you, everyone knew it. Jin knew it and he hated it but, what happens when that soft spot turns into something else? ❞
❝ rating ❞ » 18+
❝ pairing ❞ » Jungkook x Fem!Reader / Hoseok x Fem!Reader / Seokjin x Fem!Reader
❝ genre ❞ » yandere, angst, smut, fluff, romance
❝ words ❞ » 5k+
❝ warning(s) ❞ » mentions of nipple piercings, sibling rivalry, jungkook and seokjin fight, jungkook still has a oral fixation lol, thigh riding (brief), jungkook has blue balls, jungkook hurts the reader but not on purpose, also Jungkook is a little shit in this one lol. (i think that’s it.)
❝ posted date ❞ » 12.16.20
❝ ch. synopsis❞ » You start to become suspicious when you notice little things changing that you know you didn't do.
© 2020 GoogiKoo || All Rights Reserved. DO NOT Copy, Translate, Re-Upload, or Steal ANY of my work. Thank You! ♡
The morning sun tries its best to beam through the darkening curtains but the black satin keeps it from doing so. You raise your arms above your head to stretch out your limbs, the soreness taking over every time you move. You don’t know what got into him last night. Don’t really care but it was some of the best sex you had.
You don’t realize he’s already up and waiting for you to stir awake.
“Morning Pretty Girl!” He says cheerfully, unfazed at the way you squeal his name. Your pounding against your chest, your brain doesn’t catch up with the rest of your body until you feel his hand between your legs as he caresses the inside of your thigh.
“What the hell Kook??” You mutter, rubbing the crust from your eyes. He only watches, finding it cute how you don’t bother covering up.
“What? I didn’t do anything...” He laughs, “Why are you so jumpy?”
“I’m not? Wait, were you watching me while I was sleep?” You question and he nods. He didn’t see what the big deal was, he always did it whenever he spent the night.
You sit upward to lean back against your headboard to get comfortable.
“It’s creepy. Why?”
“I’m just admiring you like I always do.” He shrugs. “It’s really not that big of a deal.”
You suddenly become self-conscious, folding under his intense gaze. You try to pull the sheets over your body to cover it but he snatches it before you can though he catches a glimpse of your breast. Biting his bottom lip to bite back his smile.
When he sees you reach for your phone, he climbs on top of you and locks your hands above your head. Keeping you from seeing what time it truly was. He leans down to capture your lips, feeling you arch up to accommodate. He wants to feel your warm skin against his. Want to feel your breast against his chest again but instead, he rolls his tongue over the mole on the left side of your neck. The one that mirrors his.
“Jungkook...” You whine and you’re sure your roommates could hear you if they were actually there. Your head falls back against the pillows as he squeezes your hand. “Kook...”
“Just let it happen.”
He nibbles at your lip and drags it towards himself, grinning when it bounces back before kissing you harder than he did before. Your lips are his drug, he could kiss you all day long. The plushness of them coaxing so many orgasms when you wrap your lips around his cock. He loves everything about you but if he had to pick one, it would be your sexy lips.
He rolls his tongue down, peppering kisses all the way down to the tiny bar that runs through your nipple. You let out a faint moan, eyes closed feeling euphoric every time he kisses any part of you. He’s so hard already, he wants another round before you have to leave but he knows once you figure out what time it is, you’re going to go insane. So he enjoys what he can and right now that’s sucking on your nipple until his heart's content.
“I love your breast so much,” He mumbles as he gives the right a proper squeeze. He maneuvers himself so his thigh could be positioned right at your core. He wants you to use it to get off, wanting to feel just how wet you are because of him.
He draws his thigh closer, urging you to move your hips. It hurts so good and you know he’s not going to stop until you get off. His hooded eyes taking in your body, your pleasure. You really don’t know what you do to him.
“That’s right, baby. Let it out. Let me hear you.”
You can feel just how hard he is for you. Can feel just how eager he is to give it to you again like he did last night but your phone ringing disrupts your thoughts, bringing you back to your senses.
You stop abruptly, eliciting a growl from Jungkook. Annoyed that whoever it is keeps calling. He has an idea of who it might be and it’s pissing him off the more he continues to think about it.
“Kook...” He doesn’t realize he’s doing it, his hands gripping your wrist tighter. “Jungkook... Ow... T-That hurts...”
He only growls again but doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t let up either and you’re sure you’re losing circulation.
He startles, glancing down out you. His chocolate bambi eyes widen with concern. “I-I’m sorry...”
“What the hell...?” You snatch your wrist from his hands as he reluctantly moves. That’s when you realize it’s way too bright for it to be early morning. Had you overslept? “Wait, what time is it?”
“Does it matter...?” He tries to crawl over your figure again but frowns when you make the move to get to your phone instead. He grabs it off your nightstand and holds it above your head.
“Stop playing. Give me my phone...” You stare him down, crossing your arms over your chest and it distracts him enough for you to grab your phone from him.
Checking the time, your eyes widen with panic. Shooting up out of the bed only to trip over the covers and fall to the ground. You wince when the pain shoots through you like an electric current but you’d have to endure it because it was now 10:42 and you were almost three hours late. “Shit! Fuck! I’m so late. Shit! Shit! Shit!”
“What??” Jungkook cocks his head to the side, confused about why you were rushing around your room like a madwoman but he took pride in the way you were limping.
“I’m so late! Why didn’t you wake me?”
“I didn’t know you had somewhere to be,” Jungkook nonchalantly shrugs, moving back to lean against your headboard as he chuckles. It’s so low, you don’t even hear him with you running around.
Who knew turning off your alarm would have you acting so dramatic.
“Well? Did you forget to set your alarm, Noona?”
“I could’ve sworn I set it. I never forget to.”
“You did this time.” His tone was mocking yours because he knew it was his fault. You didn’t and he wouldn’t dare tell you that he was the one who did.
His eyes follows you as you run in and out of the bathroom to try to find your body wash or any type of soap for that matter because oddly, neither were in there.
Today felt like everything that could go wrong did.
He’s scrolling through his phone but what you don’t see was the grip he had on it. He was seething, irritated but he couldn’t let you see that so he kept quiet for the moment unless you asked him something. He feels vibration after vibration of calls and texts coming in seeing their from Hoseok and Namjoon underneath his leg. He let it be until he heard you draw back the curtain and turn on your shower.
“Fucking hell.” He mumbles, removing the phone from under his leg to look through the notifications.
Both of them were wondering where you were. Hoseok texts were more in-depth, telling you, ‘they’ll come by if you’re not here within an hour’.
Jungkook breathes, rolling his eyes at how bothersome he was being.
Best friend his ass. There has to be something going on between the two of you for him to be like this and Jungkook was going to find out what it was.
He sets your phone back on your bedside table as you come rushing in that pretty set of purple panties and bra. The one he loves so much.
You’re frantically searching for something simple to wear before settling on plain black shorts that showed off your tattoo and a plain white tee. The water still drips from your hair and because of what was on your body, it seeps through the flimsy material making your shirt a little see-through. Jungkook nose flare, frustrated with your outfit but he knows he can’t say anything because you’ll dismiss it. So he does the best thing.
You hadn’t noticed that he’s crawling behind you until you feel his delicate lips on the back of your neck. You find yourself shrinking under his touch.
No. Not again. Not this time.
“Do you have to go to work?” He whines.
“If I want money I do,” You jokingly answer but he disapproves.
It seems like it was a never-ending cycle when it came to you, him, and work but you definitely couldn’t skip another day.
“I’ll be back before you know it.”
“That’s not quick enough.” He brings his hand up to cop a feel, sad that he couldn’t feel the bars through your nipples because of your bra but it gets him excited all the same.
You try to squirm out of his grip when you realize he’s not gonna let you go.
“We’ll meet for lunch today. How about that?”
At this point, you have half a mind to push him away again. Honestly, you don’t even know why you haven’t but here you were... Still sitting and pleading with a big baby.
You sigh in defeat, your shoulders lowering when he leans into you and encloses his arms around you.
“No.” He smiles when you try and wiggle again, knowing you could never get out of his grips no matter how hard you tried.
“What is it going to take for you to let me leave?”
“Go out with me after work too.” He beams and if you look closely, you could actually see his eyes twinkle when you nod.
You’ve never seen him smile so big.
You dropped Jungkook off at his house once you noticed how much later it was. You knew Hoseok was going to kill you if Namjoon didn’t do it first.
At that moment, you remember you had three clients scheduled for the morning as well. Their times ranged but the first one was eight in the morning because you remember them telling you they wanted to get it done as soon as possible. You knew they were either still waiting or Namjoon passed them off to another tattooist. Most likely Hoseok with an apology and a promise.
You call Hoseok because the last person you wanted to talk to was Namjoon. You had hoped he didn’t have to work today but you knew you were never that lucky.
It doesn’t take long for you to get to the shop, arriving twenty minutes into your drive. You see Namjoon standing and waiting, his eyes landing on your car the moment you pull into your parking spot. He taps his watch and signals for you to come on as you lollygag around. He knows what you’re doing, irritated that you’re wasting more time than what was already wasted.
The bell tolls above the door and it seems like time had stopped. Everyone froze in what they were doing as they stare. Some trying not to but it makes you feel anxious and when you hear Namjoon behind you telling everyone to get back to work, you know you’re fucked.
You knew you were in trouble the minute he crosses his arms across his chest. And as soon as you step inside, he wastes no time.
“___. My office,” Namjoon announces, his voice was nothing short of stern and you felt your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. He’s frustrated, you can tell as the disappointment swirl within his eyes.
You shadow him without a word being spoken between you two and it gives you time to think. Irritation simmers when you realize this was partly Jungkook’s fault. Though it’s just as much as your own too. You shouldn’t have gotten into bed with him again. Shouldn’t have let him sweet talk you back into his arms.
Shutting the door behind you, it clicks right before he gets down to business.
“Where have you been? Hoseok and I have been calling and texting you all morning,” Namjoon starts as he leans back against his desk, “You have three clients waiting for you right now. Do you know how bad that is for business?? You’re never late so what’s up? What’s going on?”
“I’m so sorry. I overslept and I—“
You couldn’t even speak, let alone tell him no which just gave him his answer. You felt like a child being chastised but you know he had every right to. You were interfering with his business.
“Please tell me this has nothing to do with that boy. Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t coming back yesterday? I thought you were just going to get lunch?”
Did he mention how much he hates yelling at you? Especially when you get that dejected look on your face but... It needs to be done. Namjoon takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose with a frown.
“Listen. I’m not trying to be in your life. Hell, I have issues of my own to deal with but please don’t let him get in the way of your work. You’ve been doing a phenomenal job and I would hate to ha—“
“You sound like one of my teachers Joon,” You chuckle but you see he’s not at all amused.
“Don’t interrupt me.” He glares as you lower your head and nods, “And, I’m not kidding. I would hate to have to fire you over someone else’s doing. Now, I gave your first two clients to Hoseok because they were getting anxious and annoyed and I didn’t want them to cause a scene but, your third is still sitting in the lobby because they wanted you. I suggest you go apologies.”
“Y-Yes Namjoon. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to the woman that’s been sitting in the lobby for over four hours. You’re dismissed.”
As you turn to leave, Namjoon speaks up again. ”One more thing. If you’re leaving for the day, let one of us know. I thought I told you that the last time but apparently you haven’t taken my warning. This is the last time I’m going to tell you. Next time, don’t come back.”
Disappointment. That’s all you felt with her head hung low. You hated that you let it get this far. This would be your third, wait, no— fifth time sleeping with him but you’ve never had this problem. You did notice, however, after each time he would become more possessive with you. He’d always want to be near you no matter where you were and
The Jeon’s were that one persistent thing in your life that you couldn’t seem to get rid of no matter how hard you tried.
Your attention turns to your phone, noting that your usual alarm hadn’t been set. With the way you and Jungkook were going at it, there may have been a possibility that you didn’t turn it on. You did notice that your phone was set to ‘do not disturb’. With the years that you’ve had an iPhone, you’ve never used that setting no matter how much you want to go unbothered. With the way your clientele is set up, however, that was never an option. Your suspicion grows, the only other person that was around your phone was Jungkook but he doesn’t have the lock code so how was he able to get in?
You shake your head at the thought but it still lingers because you can’t seem to wrap your head around it. For now, you let it go. You needed to face your client head-on.
“I’m so sorry I’m late! I promise I’m not like this all the time.” You bow to the grey-haired woman to apologize. She gives you a warm smile, waving away her hands to get you to stand up straight. From what you could gather, she’s not angry at you. If anything, she’s just happy you showed.
“It’s okay! Really.”
It made you feel so much worse that she held out for you. It couldn’t have been comfortable sitting and waiting for so long but you’re happy that she did. Especially seeing how chirpy she is about you doing her design.
“How long have you been waiting?”
“Two hours, I think?” She halts when she sees your face contort, conveying just how sorry you were. “No, No! It’s okay! I know things happen.” You give a quick look of sympathy as she’s digging through her purse to pull out a piece of paper. “I hope you could do something like this? Maybe add your own spin to it?”
She pulls a drawing out of her purse of a peacock feather that's starting to break apart in words with the lettering ‘make dreams into a reality.’ You beam when you see it because you love the idea and you were happy to be able to put your own twist to it. “Sure! Follow me.”
Jungkook stood at the kitchen counter, leaning over and playing with his food. Bored, he took to playing a game on his phone until he hears back from you. It’s only been a couple of hours but he already misses you. He had half a mind to make the trip to the shop but he knew you probably would scold him for it again. He knew he had to give you space, much to his dismay, and even though it’s only been a couple of hours he still misses you. Honestly, he missed you too much and he hated it.
His thoughts were interrupted once he hears the front door slam shut resulting in the artwork Jimin had hung nearby, falling off. Jungkook knew it had to be Seokjin since he hadn’t been hosting parties as of recently and the only other person who lives with them was Jimin. And he’s mostly quiet.
“Fucking Jeongguk!” Seokjin snaps, stomping his way through the front room to find him. Jungkook knows he’s been nothing but pissy for the past two days with the multitude of texts he’d received after their little showdown.
Could this day get any worse? He stood corrected.
Jungkook sets his phone down to head toward the living room to meet his brother head-on and braces himself.
As soon as Seokjin sees Jungkook, he’s charging at him like a bull. Jungkook sees it coming. With how strong he is compared to Seokjin, he’s able to take him down with ease. Jungkook climbs on top of him, roughly placing his hands around his neck as Jin struggles to get loose. At this point, all Jungkook sees is red. He could care less if he chokes him to death. Hell, it would be one less person he had to deal with.
Seokjin kicks his leg, gasping for air as he pounds on his brother's arms and chest to get him to let go. He doesn’t. Only seizing the opportunity to tighten his grip.
Just as he starts to go pale, Jimin rushes down the stairs and into the living room having heard all the commotion from above.
“Hey... Hey! Hey! What the fuck is going on?!” Jimin screams, pulling Jungkook off of Jin.
“You little piece of shit,” Jin coughs, irritated with the fact that Jungkook bested him and weaseled himself into his plans yet again.
“What the fuck is going on?” Jimin demands, genuinely confused. His eyes flicker between the both of them but when he notices neither is saying a word, he raises his own voice. “Okay, one of you fuckers is going to tell me what the fuck is going on. Please tell me it has nothing to do with th—“
“It’s always because of her. He doesn’t know when to take a fucking hint.”
“I swear you’re such a pain in my fucking ass,” Seokjin spat, running his fingers through his hair. “No wonder everyone around us wants nothing to do with you.”
Jungkook shrugs. It wasn’t surprising, to say the least, but it still hurt to know how he truly felt. He always knew how to land low blows and make them sting.
Jungkook crosses his arms but he tries to make his face as expressionless as possible.
“He’s just mad because I prevented him from getting ___ back the other day. Isn’t that right, hyung?”
“I already have her. You just think she wants you but it’s only temporary.”
Jungkook glares wanting to say something else but Jimin’s done with it all.
“Both of you are the biggest fucking children I’ve ever met.” He rolls his eyes, pointing at both of them. “Only reason I’m still putting up with this shit is because of Jungkook and the fact that my name is on the deed too.” Jimin steps in front of Jin. He’s looking down the bridge of his nose at Jimin, upper lip turned up in anger as he's staring daggers into his eyes but Jimin continues on unfazed. “You fuckers need to work whatever shit you have going on, out and leave ___ out of it. It happened before her and it’s gonna continue to happen after her.”
Jin knew Jimin was right but admitting his wrongs was something he could never do, especially when it came to you.
“Stay out of my way.” Jin turns to stomp up the stairs to throw his tantrum like usual.
Jimin turns to Jungkook who only hangs his head.
“Do I have to deal with shit every single day? It’s getting old.”
“I-I’m sorry, Hyung...”
“Yeah, well...” Jimin pauses, checking the time to see that he has to be to work in the next twenty minutes. “I have to meet up with someone. You wanna come with me? I’m reluctant to leave the two of you alone.”
“Sure... I could use some fresh air.” Jungkook glances at the stairs his Seokjin went up before walking behind Jimin to head toward the meeting place.
“Aaaaaand you’re done, hun! The mirror is on the wall over there. You can take a look if you like.”
You point to the mirror across the room hanging next to your door frame. Taking the time to clean your equipment, you hear a gasp from behind you as you quickly turn to see staring at the freshly-inked tattoo. It isn’t until you brace yourself to look at her face that you see that she’s crying tears of joy. Her hand covers her mouth to try to silence it but it’s already too late.
She looks back at you through the mirror and nods as a joyous expression takes over her facial features. She rushes over to engulf you in a hug. You’re taken back but weakly reaches around to hug her back. You were never really much for affection unless it was with someone you knew. You could tell that she needed it so why not do a good deed for the day.
“I’m so happy with it! How can I ever thank you!”
“You loving it is payment enough, sweetheart.” You wipe her tears away as she tries to Don’t cry! You’ll ruin your make-up.”
“I’m sorry... I just... it’s so pretty and you did a wonderful job.”
“If you need or want anything else just give me a call.”
She only nods before sitting back in the chair to let you begin the process of cleaning and wrapping her arm. It doesn’t take too long and before she knows it, you’re sending her on her merry way.
Just as she was leaving, Hoseok comes strutting in and you already knew what he was there for.
“Hobi, I swear to--”
“Don’t worry. I’m sure Namjoon-hyung chewed you out for the both of us,” He laughs.
“Yeah... you should have seen it. I thought his head was going to explode from how upset he was.”
Hoseok can’t take his eyes off you as he watches you work as you take apart your machine to clean it and sanitize it. You look so adorable when you were in concentration but he never dared to tell you that. He valued his life. It isn’t until you’ve stopped talking and you're gazing up at him with your pretty eyes that he realizes he was staring too. He shakes his head and smiles, though it doesn’t reach his face.
There’s something he’s been wanting to ask you but every time he saw you, he chickened out. It’s the only thing that’s been on his mind... He needs to ask you but you’re going on and on about Namjoon and he doesn’t find it in his heart to cut you off. So, he simply listens.
“Anyway, he told me he was disappointed in me... He sounded like my dad, to be honest. It was scary.”
“That’s Joon for you...” He laughs. He needs to ask. “Oh hey, did you get my text?”
“I texted you this morning. Did you get it?”
“Uhhh, I don’t remember. Let me check...” You’re confused. You would have known if you’d gotten his text but for the life of you, you can't remember. You open your messages to see not only Hoseok’s chat log is gone but Seokjin’s and a couple of important client's messages had disappeared too. You pause to calm yourself before glancing at Hoseok. Hoseok being none the wiser. “I didn’t get it. What did it say?”
“That’s weird...” He hops up on your counter by your sink and leans forward, his feet locking like a child sitting on a swing. He could have sworn he sent the text to you. He’ll have to check once he gets back to his room. “Well, it wasn’t a big deal or anything. I just said I wanted to talk to you, is all.”
“Oh.” You muster up a smile but you’re sure it looks more so like a grimace. You can’t help that your blood is boiling at this very moment. How did Jungkook manage to unlock your phone? He had to be the only culprit because no one else was near either of you. Come to think of it, it was just you and Jungkook in the apartment since you heard the front door close.
Maybe you should ask him about it. You’ll just have to gradually bring it up.
In the middle of your thought, you hadn’t notice Hoseok staring at you as if to ask if you heard him. He cock’s his head to the side before waving his hands in your face.
You quickly brush your thoughts away for the moment. “Wait, what?”
“Please don’t make me ask again... I finally mustered up the cou-”
“Awww, you’re red as a tomato, Hobiii” You coo, turning your whole body to give him your undivided attention. “Seriously, what did you say?”
Hoseok sighs but rolls his eyes anyway. You’re really making him say it again. Alright.
“N-Namjoon-Hyung and Yoongi-Hyung told me I should talk to you.”
“Annnd?” Your tone is playful. You’re getting a kick out of this but he’s not even mad. He can tell you’re nervous since you don’t know what he’s about to ask, locking your fingers in your lap. “Is it bad?”
“No! No... It’s nothing like that.” He had the courage before but somehow that all disappeared when you began looking at him like you were now. Eyes bigs and wide, sparkling with curiosity. Your lips pursed for him to see you’re focusing on what he’s saying. God, you were pretty. “Fuck me...”
“No! Shit...” Hoseok was so bad at this.
“Okay, Hobi...” You smile with it stretching from ear to ear and it put him at ease, if only for a short time. “Whatever you wanna say, just say it.”
He takes a deep breath as you look on, waiting on him to continue with whatever he had to say. When he closes his eyes, he blurts out, “I know we’ve been best friends for a while but I was wondering if you’d like to maybe go out. Like, have dinner sometime. I know we have dinner a lot but I was hoping we can go on an actual date this time. Fuck, I suck at this—“
“Yeah you do,” You were enjoying seeing him blush.
“I kinda sorta developed feelings for you over time. You’re so sweet and sm—“
“Ohmygod,” You mumble. “Yes, Hobi.”
“Huh?” Hoseok’s head shoots up from staring at the ground but he does it too quickly, resulting in hurting his neck. He rubs the back of his neck and groans. “Wait, you’ll go out with me?”
“Yes. When did you want to go?”
“Tonight? I know this place—“
“Oh... I can’t tonight,” You declare him and it leaves him disheartened. He knew you weren’t with Jungkook because you definitely would have told him if you were. So he wonders what was holding you back. “We can get lunch if you want? We can have our dinner another day.”
Hoseok smiles wider than you’ve ever seen him smile before. squealing and you thought it was the funniest thing when he hopped off the counter to stalk up to you, giving you a hug.
“Sounds like a plan, love.”
You flush harder than you ever have for some reason at the pet name. The room is quiet other than quiet buzzes from a fan and your mini fridge but it doesn’t stop Hoseok from leaning. Right when your lips are inches away from touching-
“Hey Hob—“ Namjoon stops at your door when he sees the both of you jump away, “Don’t stop on my account.” he chuckles and you wanted to facepalm.
“We weren’t doing anything, Joonie.”
“Sure you weren’t.” Namjoon winks before smiling suggestively, his dimples prominent. “Hoseok your twelve o'clock is here.”
“Alright.” Hoseok checks his watch before looking back at you. “Just let me know when you’re ready to go.”
A/N: I don't really have much to say besides the fact that this week has been absolutely shit for me... But, I wanted to at least give you guys another chapter even if I'm not feeling up to par (per se). I hope you guys are doing well though! And, thank you for reading my story! I'm actually glad I got the motivation to finish this again. I'm determined to do so and put this to rest so I can say I actually finished one lmao. I hope you enjoy! and I hope you look forward to the next chapter xoxo
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Small Treasures ||Demetri Volturi x Female Reader||
Warnings: Descriptions of anxiety, and being in the care system
Taglist: @thelastemzy @volturidoll13 @raindancer2004 @ferb13 @alecvolturiswifeforever @primswan @a-avaunce @broskibowser @perfectcolortreestudent @royalvolturisblog @vamp-army @artaxerxesthegreat
Summary: A request for @kpopgirlbtssvt
Demetri never thought he’d see the day where a human could keep up with a vampire, least of all one that didn’t even reach his hip.
“What you doing?”
Now usually, standard protocol meant Volturi business was handled discretely, away from prying eyes. This city was not designed with discrete in mind however, so, in lieu of smelling like the sewers for weeks on end, Demetri and Felix had opted to smell like back alley bins instead. The area was fenced off behind takeaways, nothing but a car park for the workers behind them. It was enclosed and quiet, somewhere where they could deal with this rogue nomad without interruption. Not everyone took to immortality well. Some went mad after centuries on the move, struggling to make true connections to anyone who wasn’t their mate. The insanity made them prone to making messes, messes the Volturi cleaned up, messes like five corpses in a car drained of blood and torn to shreds.
“Is he hurt? He looks like he hurts.” The soprano sweet voice drew Demetri’s attention to her once more. She was no higher than his knee really, an angelic little face framed by two bunches of corkscrew curls looking up at him with a frown. He didn’t have much time in that moment to ponder much else before the nomad they had been dealing with attacked. With the child swung up onto his hip, he had kicked the killer back into Felix. He had expected screaming, and crying, a bawling child clinging to him in fright.
At one point he had had to throw her into the air so he had both hands free to help restrain the feral bastard, and the response he’d gotten was so bizarre it had stunned him. She had laughed. Peals of shrieking laughter echoing about the place as he caught her and settled her on his hip again.
“Again! Again!” she’d screamed.
Demetri was honestly exhausted by the whole affair and it had only lasted roughly ten minutes. Felix had quickly wrestled their problem outside and left Demetri with her, the latter not quite quick enough to stop curious hands from tugging at his hood and exposing his skin to the sun. The child had gone from 0-100 real quick after that.
“You’re a disco ball!”
“Do you have an on-button?”
“Did that man go to time out?”
Question after question after question had poured from her mouth. There were questions about his skin, questions about his eye colour, questions about where he was from and what his job was. Demetri had done his best to be patient, mildly overwhelmed by the sheer amount of energy she had for a girl so small. He had answered what he could, neatly evaded the questions that were perhaps too invasive, and finally found a tenor that seemed the brightest and boldest, the strongest connection she had. Most likely it would be parents to return her to, so Demetri had pulled up his hood and immediately headed for the car. She had said she had been visiting the park that day, but he couldn’t well go and hand the girl over with his hood up over his head – not unless he wanted to be mistaken for a far worse kind of monster.
Felix had driven with Demetri giving intermittent instructions, the small thing squirming in his lap to get the best view she could out of the windows. Her running commentary on the various shops she knew and things she saw kept a constant stream of words flowing in one ear and out of the ear, and yet…it somehow became rather comforting to listen to. The drive wasn’t long, but simultaneously it was long enough for something of a bond to form between them. Demetri got used to the warm weight of her against his chest, found the quick little thuds of her heart to be rhythmic and calming. Her curls tickled his chin every time her head turned (which was a lot) and his heart melted a little when she asked if they would stay for dinner.
It had been a kick in the gut when they pulled up to the place that bright, bold tenor could finally be found in. West City Orphanage. An orphan? The sweet, energetic little thing was alone? It was an impossibility he was sure, and yet…she had nodded at him. Arriving home was the only thing that had really dampened her energy.
“But you can visit! They let people visit all the time and they read stories with us and – and do colouring!” she exclaimed, “You just have to ask if you can see me, just ask to play with Penny.” Demetri knew it wouldn’t be possible and he refused to give her any false hope. Still…he couldn’t leave. It was like a physical barrier had stopped him going through the gate at the airport. With bag in hand and no loose ends left it should have been easy, step through the gate, get on the jet, go home. The problem was, his feet were glued to the floor and his head was in an orphanage miles back across the city, one he was forced to return to to try and settle the niggling feeling in his gut. For a few days, all he had done was watch. He had engaged all of his senses and watched her bolt about the garden, listened to her sing and the many voices complaining she needed to slow down, be patient and quiet down.
He was sick to the back fang of it.
So here he stood, charming an older lady whose name he’d already forgotten into leading him into a large playroom with many screaming children racing about. Some sat quietly with picture books, but most were squealing and running about. Penny was one of them, racing about and giggling manically with all the others until one of the bigger boys pushed her over. Demetri bit back a growl, his stomach flipping; he didn’t feel the need to wait for permission and immediately moved towards her to check on her. Her lower lip wobbled slightly as she held her knee to her chest.
“Are you alright Penny?” he couldn’t smell blood so he assumed it was just a painful bang and nothing more.
“D-Demetri. You came back!” she immediately wiped her eyes and made a show of sucking in a breath, trying to be brave he assumed. His heart melted a little and he gave her a small smile.
“I was passing through.” He lied. Penny surprised him once more, hugging him tightly, and for the next hour of allotted visiting time she showed him around all her favourite toys and made him sit in the most uncomfortable beanbag while he read to her, her big brown eyes looking up at him with an excited shine. He hadn’t expected the tears when he had to leave. It had taken the promise of cookies for dessert and a visit tomorrow from him to get her to calm that he was able to walk away. The older lady who had let him in escorted him to the door.
“She never gets visitors; it was so good of you to come.” She had a certain shine in her eye that made Demetri incredibly suspicious. It was the kind of shine that screamed ‘I know something you don’t’, and he had never liked feeling like he was on the back foot. He nodded once, slowly.
“I needed to see she was alright is all. Now that I have, I shall be moving on again.” He informed her. The older woman’s smile faltered slightly, her eyes growing sad.
“You promised you would see her tomorrow. There’s a limit to how many broken promises they can take you know.” She was almost scolding him he thought. Demetri’s frown deepened. How many promises had people made and broken to sweet little Penny? An uncomfortable weight settled in his stomach at the thought he might be one of them. She was watching him expectantly now, as if she had heard the gears of his mind turning over the conundrum. Demetri squared his shoulders and wiped the concern from his face. She wasn’t his child, his responsibility, why should he care? She had plenty of adults around who were supposed to provide her with that kind of security and stability.
“We shall see if I can make it.” He said curtly. He was already half-way down the path when she called after him. He didn’t pause or turn around, still able to hear her perfectly after all.
“The earliest we allow visits is from 10AM!” she yelled.
He swore that wasn’t why he arrived at 10 on the dot.
“It looks like it might rain Penny, perhaps we ought to stay inside?” he suggested. Her little brows furrowed, and she neatly placed her shoes down by the door with a serious little nod.
“So I should put on wellie boots for the rain.” She deduced, standing on tiptoes to reach the handle of the backdoor. Demetri watched in mild amusement as she swung it open and marched outside to a rack of raincoats and wellie boots, all in different sizes and colours. She took her time to carefully inspect each one, tracing her finger over something he couldn’t see.
“Let her go, maybe she’ll run off some energy.” The man had introduced himself as Joshua and he had watched with nothing but exasperation on his face from the minute that Penny had dragged Demetri through to the kitchen towards the backdoor, butchering the word chaperone as she gave Joshua his orders. His eyes had rolled skyward as the small girl prattled on about the small garden patch she wanted to show him, continuing to quietly chop some vegetables and assemble lunch plates. Joshua clearly had little patience for her and given the way many others greeted her with a hint of trepidation, like they weren’t sure what they were in for if they stayed in her presence too long, he guessed it was a common feeling amongst the adults of the orphanage.
It had left him with a rather rotten feeling in the pit of his gut. Why did no one appreciate her wanderlust? To have retained this enthusiasm for life after enduring such a tragedy…why weren’t they trying to preserve that?
“Demetri I need help!” her high pitched squeal got him moving. Penny’s knuckles had turned white the force of her grip, little arms trembling as she pulled with all her might on the wellie boot she was trying to put on. His eyebrows rose slightly, and he moved to crouch in front of her.
“Stop stop stop, you are trying to put it on the wrong foot.” He informed her.
“How do you know?” she asked. Demetri opened his mouth, about to point out how easy it was to tell when he realised it really actually…wasn’t? How did you explain to a four-year-old how to tell left from right on an object that didn’t make it all that obvious? His head tilted slightly, brows furrowing as he looked between her and the wellie boot in his hand. They were one big, round oval, the slightest of curves representing where the big toe should be. Was that something only he could see? Was he even seeing it? Maybe it was the first case of vampire hallucinations.
“Well…if it does not fit right on the first foot you try, it is the wrong foot. Now point your toes.” He instructed. If he thought that trying to explain left from right was a problem, that was before he had attempted to stick a wellie boot on a four-year-old with no concept of pointy toes. They battled for a little while, Demetri growing more frustrated with every passing moment as she wriggled in an attempt to make it go faster, just wanting to get to playing.
“You said if it doesn’t fit right then it isn’t on the right foot!” she whined.
“This is the right foot, just hold still!” he huffed.
“But you said-“
“There, there it is on!” he dusted off his hands with a triumphant little smirk, one that quickly faded when Penny held out her other wellie boot to him with expectant eyes. It took everything he had not to groan, but after some extensive pulling and unhelpful squirming, she had wellie boots on and was tugging excitedly on his hand to pull him into the large back yard that was filled with all sorts of playground equipment he was used to seeing in parks. Penny ignored the sandpit and the swings, walked straight past the slide with him in tow, and instead moved to a colourful little sign that read ‘Our Allotment’. Hands on her hips, Penny began to point out the little green shoots and the longer, twisting vines.
“I helped plant these ones, and these ones. They’re called peas, do you know how peas grow?” she questioned. Demetri couldn’t help but smile slightly, her no nonsense attitude and her stance reminding him a little too much of Felix training the newer members of the guard with him.
“Tell me.” He invited. She lectured him on how peas grew in pods (that were really just big sleeping bags - obviously), and that carrots had to grow their hair before you could pull them out of the ground (which was the only hair you were allowed to pull because it was nice to free the carrots, not to hurt your friends) as the dark clouds overhead began to loom larger. He had been able to smell the oncoming storm the moment he’d left the hotel, grateful for the overcast day that meant he was free to wear less layers for once, but now it was becoming a problem. Penny didn’t have a coat.
“Oh! Oh! Demetri push me on the swing? Please please please please please?” she begged.
“It is about to rain Penny, we should-“
“We have raincoats! They let us play outside if we have raincoats.” She insisted.
“You could get sick.” He felt his stomach clench at the thought. He could imagine her lying in bed, feverish and shivering, nose running and little cries leaving her mouth as she begged for someone to make her better, make it stop hurting. It shattered his heart because he knew there were so many small humans in that house that needed attention, so many that she would be overlooked he was sure, left alone in bed until it was time for medicine or…whatever sick humans ate. Would anybody sit with her? Read to her? Remind her she wasn’t alone?
“But I won’t though! We’ll go in if it rains really hard, please?” she dragged out the ‘ee’ sound as Demetri frowned, looking between the small girl and the raincoats hanging on their pegs. Her big brown eyes were pleading, lower lip protruding in a pout. It felt impossible to say no.
“Go find your coat.” He sighed. With a squeal she was off, sprinting flat out across the grass to reach the coats. Her enthusiasm was admittedly infectious, and even though he had to consciously remind himself not to push too hard on her delicate back, her peals of laughter and demands to go higher made him smile wider and feel lighter than he could remember being for a while. There was nothing outside of this little bubble, where the rain drizzling down and the creak of a swing were the best things in their world. Nothing seemed to be half as important or half as special as this moment. The gentle patter of water hitting the ground began to grow faster, the tiny thuds on his jacket coming thicker and faster.
Demetri caught the ropes and carefully pulled the swing to a stop, pulling the hood up and ensuring her corkscrew curls were stuffed underneath. She giggled as the rain began to beat harder, hopping off the swing to tug at his hand.
“Come on come on!” she cried, “Race you!” she darted off for the porch that wrapped around the back of the large building. It was a fairly well-kept place he had to admit, but there were the tell-tale cracks in paintwork and rickety furniture that suggested funding was not as it used to be and too many little feet were wearing down the carpets quicker than they could be replaced. Demetri kept to a light jog behind her (having no intention of stealing her victory) but when he saw her wellie boot snag on the wooden step he darted forward to scoop her up, swinging her out into the rain briefly and making her squeal in delight, her hands flying out to try and catch the raindrops.
“I think we both won the race.” He declared, squatting to set her feet on the floorboards and help her unzip her jacket. Cheeks flushed, her big brown eyes sparkled, and suddenly she had thrown her small arms around him and dropped her head against his shoulder, still giggling and smiling widely. Demetri felt his heart flutter, but his arms came up to cage her against him instinctually, uncaring of how wet she was getting his jacket.
“What are you pair doing? Get inside already before you get soaked!” Joshua insisted. Demetri glanced at him briefly, pulling back to sit her down and take those damn wellie boots off. Joshua held the door open impatiently, shivering a little in the cold. He found some mild satisfaction in his obvious suffering.
“Are you staying for snack time?” Penny asked him, holding onto her leg and pulling one way while Demetri pulled the other. She almost turned red with the effort but the boot popped off, and she fell onto her back with a giggle. Demetri laughed.
“Well that worked well, shall we try with the other one?” He evaded the question neatly and Penny didn’t ask again. Once she was free of them she picked up her boots and carried them over to the rack, sitting on her knees know and puckering her brows. Demetri watched as she turned the boot to him.
“The one that looks like a sideways McDonalds symbol is a 3?” she asked. He nodded and watched her set her boots back on the rack where the number 3 is after tracing it with her finger again.
“Penny can you please hurry up? It’s freezing.” Joshua complained.
“But you always tell me to slow down.” She frowned. Joshua shook his head.
“And now I’m telling you to hurry up, come on and wash your hands for lunch!” he instructed. Demetri frowned, feeling something in him revolt at what he was hearing. He did his best to control his temper though, knowing he wasn’t her primary caregiver and had no experience with children that would back up any argument he made.
“So, do I have to go fast or go slow?” she asked, expression twisting into confusion.
“Penny you’re being rude, you know exactly what I mean, now come wash your hands and get ready for lunch.” His tone dropped into the voice Demetri knew all adults used when they were scolding children.
“Now!” he huffed exasperatedly. Demetri narrowed his eyes slightly, quietly promising her he’d be there in a moment since she refused to go inside without him. He shook off the rainwater on his jacket, looking Joshua dead in the eye. Humans were instinctually uncomfortable when was in close proximity to vampires, their brain not quite comprehending what it was their body was telling them to be afraid of but knowing something was wrong. He stood too still, didn’t blink, didn’t radiate human warmth, and it was obvious from the way Joshua squirmed he’d succeeded in making the other man as uncomfortable as he wanted him to feel.
“She was not trying to be rude.” Demetri said factually. Joshua rolled his eyes.
“She was pushing her luck,” He insisted, “I’m telling you she’s a handful and just like any other kid in this place, she’ll take you for a ride if you let her.” Demetri got the impression he didn’t care that the wood had hit his back somewhat.
“No, she was not. She is four-year-olds. If you tell her contradictory things she is going to get confused. Her question was quite valid.” He retorted, struggling to keep the bite from his tone. Joshua scoffed slightly, looking somewhat incredulous as he began to tell him exactly how many years he had worked at the orphanage and list all the qualifications that Demetri didn’t have. Demetri wasn’t listening. His eyes and ears were attuned to the young blonde girl, a volunteer if the badge was anything to go by, that was helping Penny choose the snacks she wanted on her plate for lunch.
“Demetri’s really nice and we spent the morning in the back yard and he pushed me so high on the swings.” Penny was gloating now he knew, but her face was glowing. She radiated nothing but pure joy, happy to have spent some time with him, to have had someone to play with that was entirely focused on her. It only reinforced the bitter image he had built up, of staff that meant well but were too tired caring for too many to notice this one, bright little treasure.
“Jackie was right, you never stop talking do you?” the young girl laughed. She hadn’t meant it maliciously, it was quite obvious she was simply telling a joke, but it was a more grown-up joke, the kind a small girls self-esteem was going to take to heart. Sure enough, Penny frowned slightly, and her mouth didn’t open again unless she was saying please or thank you, trying to figure out what exactly had been said and whether it was good or bad.
“Are you even listening to me? I said its time to leave, you can’t be in here while the children have lunch.” Joshua was being quite firm he noted, but even if he wanted to move him Demetri knew he couldn’t. He turned to face him, eyes glinting in the light. The deadly little flash was enough to make Joshua gulp slightly, his previous bravery gone. His goodbye to Penny went marginally better, no tears or screaming this time, even if her lip quivered. In the quiet of his hotel, he began to research exactly what he’d have to do to get her out of there, ignoring the way his phone rang. He had missed his check-in time and the Masters were growing more and more impatient with him. They wanted him home but he still couldn’t bring himself to leave, and he understood why now. There were so many human laws making his life that much more difficult to complete his new mission yet. He needed an elaborate plan if he was going to pull this off, and he knew exactly how to do it.
He needed to buy a house.
Money was nothing to immortals, and Demetri had amassed enough wealth over the centuries that the impulse buy didn’t make a dent in his wallet really, but it did make a big difference to his plans. Within the space of three days he had visited Penny thrice more, viewed a pretty suburban home complete with a nice big garden and office space (for that ‘legitimate’ business work he was doing for Volturi Ltd.) and bought it outright. Next came life insurance and a will, one where Felix was named executor of his new estate, and then…then he finally went for the grand prize. A week after all of this had been sorted he had knocked on the door and demanded to be taken straight to Diana, the older woman he had met on his first visit. She sat behind a desk, giving him a knowing look over her glasses before she pulled a bunch of papers up from the drawer of her desk.
“I was wondering when you would come for these. Let me talk you through the process.”
“What is that?”
“Oh, my, god. This is a new level of stupidity even for you.”
“That looks an awful lot like a tiny human. Tell me that he isn’t holding a tiny human.”
“The Masters are going to absolutely kill you.”
“All of you be quiet,” he hissed, “This is Penny Volturi and for now, she is going to sleep peacefully without any of you informing the Masters of her existence. Felix, tomorrow there is going to be a call from my solicitor-“
“Solicitor?” Felix asked, looking befuddled.
“Yes, he is going to tell you that Penny and I have disappeared under mysterious circumstances and-“
“Disappeared under – what circumstances? Do you know how crazy you sound?” Felix demanded. Demetri ignored him, ploughing on in a voice so low it wouldn’t wake the small girl on his hip.
“Now there is a perfectly followable trail of evidence and it should not take them too long to declare me dead. Once they do you become executor of my estate and I will need you to sell the house I bought and claim my life insurance so that I might get my money back.” He concluded. If they had thought he was mad before they were sure he was now, and he saw it in their faces. Alec and jane were watching Penny with mild distrust in their eyes, Felix open-mouthed by now as he tried to figure out exactly what his role in all of this was. He had thought there was some sort of scam going on but the child being involved was not in his top ten guesses. Bumping off a victim for life insurance, now that made sense, adopting a child? That did not.
“Demetri…are you telling us that you bought a house, life insurance and sorted your own will, in order to adopt a child, fake your death, and reclaim the money you spent on the entire elaborate scheme to adopt the aforementioned child?” Alec asked slowly. Penny chose that moment to snuggle closer to him, her small arms tightening their grip around his neck. He felt his heart melt all over again, and he kissed her hair with an adoring smile. Despite how utterly insane they thought he was, they couldn’t deny the sheer joy in his expression.
“Yes Alec, I did. She happens to be priceless in my eyes, a small treasure,” he murmured, “Will you help me with the bags?”
“How do you plan on telling the Masters you adopted a human?” Jane lifted a brow, not lifting a finger to help even as Felix instinctually moved forward. Demetri shot her a grin.
“Oh, I doubt you will be able to hear me.” He answered honestly, quite sure Penny would do the talking for both of them. The twins were left watching Felix help him carry a few bags down the hall, the pair moving quickly to ensure that they weren’t stopped or spotted, his secret given away. Demetri left her bags before the fireplace, unpacking his own belongings into his closet. He had to admit that it was good to see his own room again after so long away. He ensured his door was locked throughout the night, guarding her as she slept, and when Penny woke up she woke to the most fancy room she had ever seen. After blinking the sleep from her eyes, her brain began to wake up, and her mouth opened automatically to let all of her thoughts flow freely from it.
“Where are we?”
“Is this a hotel?”
“Why don’t you have a bed to?”
“Where are my clothes?”
Demetri answered each one as honestly as he could, helping her with stiff buttons on the dress she had chosen to wear and fastening the buckles on red leather shoes. Her corkscrew curls were still in bunches either side of her head and he made a mental note to look into hair care, see what sort of bathroom products he’d need to stock up on to take proper care of the tight, coarse curls. Felix snuck up some breakfast for her, the secretary having provided them with a little food that Penny could eat before the big moment arrived. Truthfully, Demetri was terrified the Masters wouldn’t accept her. He had erased all tracks so nobody would trace either of them here, done everything right by human laws. Caius was going to be furious he was sure. Still, she took his hand and eagerly pulled him out the door, completely unaware of the dangers she was about to face.
“Penny you need to know that my…family, did not know I was bringing you home, that I adopted you, they might be very shocked and upset I did not tell them.” He warned. Penny slowed her pace slightly, holding tightly to his hand.
“You think they won’t like me?” she asked. Demetri didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t want to shatter her hope either. She had been so happy when he asked if she would like to live with him, screaming and crying and bouncing about and hugging him so tightly he would have been unable to breathe if he were human. It was the most excited he had ever seen her, and the most upset he had been since he met her. She just wanted someone to want her. She wanted the family that had been stolen from her. Demetri had made a silent vow then and there that he would always ensure she felt loved, comfortable enough in her home to be herself.
“I think…it might take them a while to get over the shock of meeting you.” He said finally. She craned her neck, desperate to see paintings as they passed, but Demetri kept walking with the intention of getting this over with as soon as he was able to. When the doors swung open, he was faced with the anticipatory expression of Felix, Alec and Jane, and the cold look of incredulous fury on Caius’s face. Marcus looked mildly amused for once at least and he hoped that was a good sign.
“Demetri…who is our small guest?” Aro asked, his voice calm even if his eyes were thunderous. Demetri had to remind himself not to break her hand as the nervous fluttering in his gut turned violent. Penny didn’t even give him time to react, to speak, to think even, before she was tugging his hand again.
“Is he your dad? Is that my new grandpa?” she did not ask this quietly and it only made Demetri’s stomach curl like an armadillo.
“Grandpa?” Caius’s voice was stone cold, his eyebrows trying to flee into his hairline. Demetri managed a small breath, letting go of her hand only for a moment with the intention of scooping her onto his hip instead, but she was already skipping away from him towards the volcanic blonde. Caius’s temper was renowned, and Demetri could only stare in abject terror as his small treasure stood before the most temperamental of his Masters boldly, little chin raised. She held her hands primly behind her back and he could only guess the angelic little smile she had probably given him – it was the only thing that would make Caius’s lips twist into that sort of sneer he was sure.
“Is that a wig?” she asked innocently, “You’re as blonde as Olivia’s Barbie dolls. She never let me play with those.” The snort of laughter from behind him was definitely from Felix, but he could see even Alec smirking a bit from beside him. Demetri could see this going very badly wrong and he took a stiff step towards her, only for Aro’s glare to freeze him in place. Oh god, no no no no this was not how he was hoping this was going to go. Swallowing back the urge to hiss, he could only stare with wide eyes as the conversation continued.
“I beg your pardon?” Caius demanded. Penny began to swing side to side, unable to stand still as Demetri hissed her name in an effort to get her to come back to his side. He was feeling utterly restless now, desperate to shoot forward and scoop her up away from the dangerous snap of Caius’s jaws.
“Her Barbie’s, she never let me play with them.” She repeated.
“Penny, come here please. Now.” Demetri pleaded, voice somewhat terse as he feigned a smile. If he could sweat, he was sure he would be drenched by now, a large majority of his effort being expended into making sure his fingers didn’t tremble when he held his hand out to her. Penny looked at him with a frown.
“But I’m talking to my new grandpa.” She said, utterly clueless to the danger was in. Caius’s eyes had darkened considerably.
“I am not your grandpa, she is to be taken to the authorities immediately.” Caius growled. Demetri swallowed thickly.
“I cannot do so Master, Penny is my own child now.” He told him. The silence was absolutely deafening, and Penny drifted carefully back towards him, her small hands gripping tightly to his leg. Demetri gently stroked at her hair, sensing her nerves. She had never been afraid of him so to see her so wilted and nervous was unsettling to him. She had started to realise now just how in trouble they really were.
“Nonsense. She will be found a proper home and that is-“
“But you said I was staying with you. I thought I was staying with you.” Penny’s voice was a near high-pitched whine, her anxiety obvious. Demetri picked her up with a nod, cuddling her close as her lip trembled and tears filled her eyes.
“I know, I know, it will be alright Penny. Masters I have legally adopted her, she is my daughter and if she leaves, so do I.” he stated boldly. He sounded far braver than he felt but he could feel the fear of abandonment that radiated from her. So many others had left her behind, and he wasn’t prepared to break his promise to her.
“Do not be foolish. Do not throw away all we have given you for the sake of this human.” Caius hissed. Demetri held her closer to him, shaking his head as Penny whimpered quietly, burying her face in his neck. He felt angry. He was furious they would deny him this after all of his years in their service, furious they had made her feel so afraid. Penny was deserving of love, deserving of family, and he knew he could give her a home. No other human could understand her or keep up with her, but he could.
“I do not wish to leave, but I shall if I am forced. Penny is important to me and is worth more than everything I would leave behind.” He declared, his teeth gnashing together.
“Why don’t they like me? Are you leaving me to?” she whispered, her voice wavering as she sniffled and cried quietly into his shoulder. Aro drifted towards him and Demetri instinctually took a step back, twisting his body to shield Penny somewhat from him. The mind-reader paused, tilting his head slightly at the obvious display of disobedience. He could hear Felix warning him lowly from behind but to his surprise, it was Marcus who drifted down from his throne to save them. He touched Aro’s hand briefly as he passed, making his brother suck in a sharp breath before he drifted to a stop in front of Demetri. He watched cautiously as he reached a hesitant hand towards her. Penny turned her face further away, cringing into him, and Demetri bounced her slightly in an effort to calm her.
“I do not know you, so I cannot dislike you,” Marcus rasped, “I should like to see my granddaughter.” Demetri felt a small wave of relief. Marcus was hardly the most influential of the Masters but it was nice to know he had him on his side at least. With another quiet sniffle, Penny shyly peeked out at him from Demetri’s shoulder. Marcus’s smile was gentle, welcoming even. He didn’t have much to look forward to in his life, but he had seen the bond they had developed and was sure that if Penny could bring so much joy into Demetri’s life, she would have quite the effect on the castle as a whole.
“Why do you look so sad?” she asked quietly.
“Penny.” Demetri warned her quietly, watching Marcus’s expression crumble. Instead, the older man tenderly placed his hand on her back.
“People feel sad when they lose the things they love,” he explained quietly, his eyes turning to Aro, “Which is why you will be staying with us, because Demetri loves you very much.” Caius didn’t get the chance to argue because Marcus rarely sounded so firm. Aro caved almost immediately, even if it was with obvious reluctance. Marcus didn’t ask for much and if it kept him here…
“Thank you, Master.” Demetri breathed, loosening his grip on Penny somewhat.
“Am I staying with you? Do I have to go back to the orphanage?” she asked, small fists rubbing at her eyes. Demetri immediately shook his head, watching as her face scrunched and she began to cry again, her relief obvious as she held him tightly.
“So does this mean I technically have a niece?” Felix piped up.
Demetri would have gone pale if he could.
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