#had too much extra meat a period | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

phasecornnuts · 1 month

Note

Hiiiiiiii! If you’re still open for requests maybe you might wanna write something where the reader casually mentioned that they/she had a partner on earth before they died and Alastor takes it a bit too drastically and has just been very salty and asking too many questions 😭 if you like that

Please & thanks ❤️

Hey guys I've returned! Sorry for taking a little while, I was busy with finals/I wanted to relax on my spring break so I didn't have a lot of time. I lowkey kind of cooked with this one too so enjoy :3

Also, I sorta made the reader be from around the same time period as Alastor (sorta late 1910s early 1930s) for extra spice

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It had become a daily routine for you and Alastor to have afternoon tea together in cannibal town. Always, between the hours and four and six o’ clock after Alastor had finished his broadcast and you, your hotel duties, the both of you would walk down to Rosie’s Emporium to nibble on finger sandwiches, candied eyeballs, and other treats.

The sun was still high in the sky, sending fingers of light through the windows of the cafe; the building was alive with the chatter of demons and hell-born alike. You and Alastor had just sat down, a short cannibal girl with a heart-shaped face and glowing brown ringlets placing your usuals on the table. Oh how beautiful they were! Too pretty to eat, garnished with tiny sprigs of mint (or, at least, it may have been mint) and resting on plates of delicate porcelain. With polished silver beside them, and matching teacups and saucers too, it all looked like a party for a girl’s favorite doll.

That is, if it weren’t human meat.

Looking up from your plate, you saw Alastor turn his head to follow the cannibal girl making you frown. His gaze returned to you before he caught you staring, a chipper grin on his face as always.

“She could be a dead ringer for Mary Pickford, don’t you think?”

Your eyebrows perked. You hadn’t looked long at the girl admittedly, though you stared long enough to know that she was no Pickford. You pursed your lips,

“I don’t see it, Lillian Gish maybe.”

He looked at you like a mad-woman, “You don’t!?”

“No! Her eyes are much too large!”

Alastor chuffed, proceeding to rest his chin on his dark hand, “In the eye of the beholder I suppose.”

You rolled your eyes, “You only say that because of her curls,” you stated while picking up the teapot and pouring yourself and Alastor your cups, “Now, drink before it gets cold.”

For much of your lunch neither of you spoke, merely enjoying each other’s presence while pecking on some food here and there. Throughout the meal the waitress brought more plates, pancreas tarts, minced tongues coated with cinnamon sugar, and sweet pies filled with rotted venison and cooked kidneys, all Rosie’s treat. Alastor had been taken by the small pies in their mulled deliciousness, the meat so tender you saw his eyes water. He pleaded you to try one, though you couldn’t, your stomach filled to the brim from the other treats and delicacies.

Alastor picked up the small pair of silver tongs from beside him and placed two sugar cubes in his tea, “I do say, it’s nice to have a meal companion again.” He took a sip from his teacup and grinned.

You nodded in agreement, lifting the milk jug from the table and pouring a generous amount into your cup. “Likewise. Good dinner conversation is a horrid thing to lose.”

“Truly.” He took another drink. “Before you, I hadn’t had a proper luncheon since my mother.”

“From what you tell she sounded like a fine woman.” His grin lost its eeriness, becoming fond instead.

“She truly was, and such a fine cook too.” Alastor gazed at the fine pattern painted on the rim of his saucer, “her jambalaya was the best, our side of the Mississippi” he chuckled. He began to remember then, “And her gumbo and her crawfish etouffee and her pecan pralines”

It was odd to hear his voice so full of affection, but nice too. So strange, to think a man who broadcasted his murders of other overlords and feasted on their flesh was once a little boy who clung to his mothers skirt and happily ate her cooking.

“Maybe one day you’ll cook for me then?” you teased

“Oh why wouldn’t I for my favoritest of sinners?” He took your hand.

You leaned in towards him, a silent flirtation. “Or perhaps I could prepare something for you?”

He looked at you from his dark, hooded eyes, a certain intrigue radiating from them. “Would you now?” he said, leaning in closer.

“Oh I would, anything you’d like.” the tip of your oxford lingering at his ankle. “My food was good enough for my darling back on earth, why would an overlord of hell have any complaints? Other than not enough seasoning I suppose.”

That was when the laughter in his eyes died. Alastor bit the inside of his cheek before finding the words to speak, “Your darling?”

“Pardon?”

“You had someone,” He straightened up, pulling himself away from you, “back on earth?”

“I hardly see how it matters now.”

Alastor’s tone grew curt, had such a simple word bruised his ego?

He crossed his arms, “What were they like?” each word as sharp as his teeth.

You pulled your hands close to you, confused at his curtness, “They were….they were nice. Cordial, spirited, vivacious, however you would put it. If you’re-” Alastor cut you off.

“How did you meet them?”

“On the trolley.” That only served to make him scoff.

“Tch, how common. The trolley.”

You chewed your bottom lip, trying to deny the anger towards him that began to knot in your belly. “It was a different lifetime.” You asserted, a hard finality to it. Pushing yourself from the small table you smoothed your skirt and adjusted the ribbon that was tied so nicely in your hair.

Without looking at him you said, “Tell Rosie I’m grateful for her hospitality and I will try to find a way to repay her. Also that I’m sorry that I had to retire without saying hello but I feel rather…faint.” Before leaving completely you said, “See you back at the hotel.”

The rest of the day you hid in your room, sulking and pacing. Charlie had tried to coax you out, seeing how angry you’d been when you came back, but you denied every effort she had.

“It’s not good to stay cooped up in there,” the Princess pleaded.

“I like my alone time.”

“But- but I had games planned! Husk was going to show us how to play Blackjack and Dominoes!”

“I prefer bridge, and he’ll just cheat us anyways.”

She gave a disappointed sigh, and outside the door you could hear Vaggie talking to her, telling Charlie to give you your space.

For three nights straight you avoided Alastor, finishing up your hotel duties quickly before hiding in your room. You grew bored after the first day admittedly, a person could only sleep and bathe and read so much. The fourth night is when he knocked on your door while you lied draped on your couch, your nose in a book you’d already finished before. Thinking it was Charlie, you ignored it, sure she’d get the message. It insisted however, rapping harder the second time. You sighed, annoyed. “Who is it?”

“Alastor, may I come in?”

A sour taste came in your mouth, “No.”

“You cannot lock yourself away from me forever.”

You lifted yourself off the couch, full of bitterness, “I can and I will!��

An electric hum filled your ears, the sound of Alastor weighing his words, “Could you at least entertain my attempt?”

Walking to the door and opening it slightly you saw his face, those deep, hooded eyes dark as blood, cracked lips, and hollow cheekbones. All of those beautiful, haunting features draped in remorse. You sighed, cursing the affection you had for him.

“Fine, but I’m still cross with you.” That made him smile, if only a tad.

Opening the door fully, you saw he’d brought one of the dining carts from the unused kitchen clad in a clean white sheet. Alastor pushed it to the center of the room before spiritedly ripping the cover from the cart, presenting polished silver dishes of raw meat and organs. From the bottom shelf of it, he had pulled a fine bottle of wine and two shining glasses.

“I helped myself to a bottle of Husk’s finest, the patrons here don’t have as refined tastes as you and I.” He gave a small grin. So this is what he brought with him, a peace offering. Your stomach was empty from only eating a small meal earlier in the day, so perhaps it was not in vain, though you weren’t sure if you were ready to forgive him.

“I’ll help you set the table,” you offered, feeling guilty he put so much effort into pleasing you.

Alastor held his hands up, “No need darling.” He put his hand on his throat, “What I said the other day was very…” he coughed into his hand, “ungentlemanly of me, and I wanted to make it up to you.”

You folded your hands and held them to your chest, looking at the embarrassment he tried to hide. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath, and raised your gaze to his. “Thank you, Alastor.” His grin widened as he sat down beside you.

He uncorked the bottle of wine, beginning to pour it into the glasses, “Of course.” He handed you the glass which you took gladly. The vintage was so dark it looked black, reflecting the lights that glowed from the ceiling. Swishing it, you could see the hidden shades of red that the wine hid.

“Demon’s blood, Husk calls it.” Alastor told you before he took a long sip.

“Fitting. Do you know how long he’s aged it?” Alastor shrugged, taking another swallow.

“I didn’t care to ask, but it tastes so good going down. Come, drink, I didn’t bring this up so I could get drunk by myself.” That made you giggle, how much he valued the both of you eating and drinking together.

Taking his lead, you titled your head back, savoring the warm burn of the wine going down. Its hot fingers lingered in your chest before fading, like drinking cold medicine. In three large gulps you finished your glass, noticing the way Alastor’s eyes watched your throat as you drank. After finishing your second glass you began to dig into the food he’d brought, pancreas tarts, cooked kidneys and…oh good god! On the largest plate was a raw heart, fresh and bloody.

“Where did you get this? You shouldn’t have!” Your eyes went wide and your mouth began to salivate. A raw heart! Oh and it was human too! Such a fine delicacy must have taken so much begging from Alastor!

“Rosie owed me a favor. And I owe it to you, for making such a jackass of myself.”

You took another sip of your wine, feeling your face begin to flush. You helped yourself to a tart while Alastor poured himself another glass. As you ate you felt his eyes on you again, focusing on the way your teeth bit into the pastry, your swan’s neck showing your swallow, and how your tongue dragged across your lips. Feeling bold, you placed your feet in his lap and wiped the corner of your mouth with your finger, licking the tip of it with your tongue. He swallowed, hard, his eyes growing wide.

“Are you looking at something?” Your voice a heavy seduction.

“Possibly.” He drank again. Leaning back on the arm of the couch, he placed his glass on the floor. The tips of his fingers grazed your legs, “Though I do have another question for you, if I may.”

A sultry smirk grew on your face, “That depends on what it is, Al.” God, you could see the glint in his eyes then.

Alastor looked up at you from his hooded eyes, “I’ve been wondering…about your “darling.” You arched an eyebrow; your interest piqued. “Did they ever have…you?” His breath shuddered.

“Have me, how?” You teased.

“Oh humor me my dear,” He purred

You smirked and shifted your legs in his lap. “Hmm, maybe once or twice…” You sit up from your recline and crawl onto his lap.

“What sorts of things did they do to you?”

Running your fingers down his chest you savored the way he squirmed and shifted, “All sorts of unholy things”

Alastor choked on his breath, his eyes transfixed on your face. Slowly, he caught it, regaining a certain boldness afterwards. His hand found the top of your stocking, fingering the nylon taut to your thighs. “Getting rather comfortable aren’t we my dear?”

The smirk you had deepened and you pulled in closer, feeling the heat of his breath tickle your cheeks. You looked into his eyes, “I could get much more comfortable if you like, Al.” For what seemed like ages you lingered, until you felt you had tortured the man enough. Slowly, you leaned in, seemingly ready to kiss his shiny red lips. Grinning, you pulled a piece of dry skin from his bottom lip between your teeth, peeling it to show the bleeding flesh beneath.

You sat back on his lap and spat out the skin. Looking at him, you saw that hunger in his eyes again. That fine line of decorum the two of you had with one another, ignoring the lingering gazes and longing touches, all thrown away with one bite. Underneath, you could feel his arousal beginning to grow hard. You rolled your hips slightly into him, earning a throaty groan from Alastor. From the silver dining cart you pulled the piece de resistance, that raw bleeding heart, and sunk your teeth into it, tasting the sweet flavor of iron. Trails of blood dripped from your mouth onto your decolletage, slowly turning brown and flaky.

Alastor’s breath heaved, growing even harder from that sultry cannibalistic display. He pulled you towards him and pressed your mouth to his, saccharine saliva mixing with sanguine. His tongue slid and twisted about yours, savoring every inch of its taste. You pulled away from him to catch your breath, making him whine. Leaning in again, he dragged his tongue along your neck, cleaning up the drying strings of blood.

Both of you straightened up then, him holding you proper now. One hand ran its fingers through his shiny red hair and the other cupped his aching sex, so taut against his trousers.

“Is that what you were so upset about Al? If they fucked me or not?” You purred into his ear.

The tips of your fingers fluttered over his hip, tracing its edge before returning to his cock. “I bet you wondered if I did this to them, didn’t you?” A small nip was placed on his neck, leaving a red half-moon. Your breath grew hot against his cheek as you whispered into his ear again,

“Maybe I did, and maybe I did so many more dirty things to them.”

Alastor enraptured your mouth in another needy kiss. His words heavy with radio static, “What sort of things my dear? Or are you all talk?” Your grin widened seeing the shock in his eyes when you began to unbutton his overcoat.

“Let me show you.”

Four little words was all it took to send him over the edge. Picking you up, his hands traced over all the parts of your succulent body. When he flopped you on the bed, hair as tousled as a pin-up, you reached out a stockinged leg to him, that devious look on your face growing. Oh how badly he wanted to have you, hastily unzipping your dress as you stripped him down to his undershirt and trousers. Deft fingers hooked around the tops of your stockings, pulling them down as fast as they could. You dropped his trousers and took off his shirt, admiring all of that soft, gray skin.

You pressed your mouth to the flesh of his stomach, blessing it with small love-bites that made him shudder. All along his torso you left red patches and traced your cool fingertips along the hard edges where his ribs poked out. You tilted your head up and moved his hands to the straps of your brasserie, exposing all of your hot, yearning flesh. He cupped a breast and lied on top of you. Grinding his sex to yours he moaned into your mouth. It had been so…so long since you’d been wanted, since someone pressed their body to yours and you felt all of their heat as they slid into you, over and over again.

“Al,” You breathed

“What is it?”

“Get on your back.”

And so he did.

Alastor’s back against the mattress and your palms against his chest, you let him enter you. He let out a string of curses when you did, and even more when you started moving in those easy rolling motions. Those large hands of his held the curve of your waist as you rode him, his eyes half-lidded as he watched your breasts bounce.

“The first time I saw you…” You began, going a little faster, “I wanted you,” You heard a small thud as he dropped his head against the pillows.

“I thought about you kissing me and touching me all over” That’s when the pulses of pleasure started to build up, prickling you in sweet needles that went all the way up your spine.

“And about you sticking your fingers in me and..and your tongue too” You felt your face heat up and your sex grow slicker, admitting those indecent thoughts you only entertained during late nights when your fingers wandered. Alastor gripped your waist tighter, making your rhythm harsher. You looked down on him, his eyes glazed over with euphoria, and felt your mouth pool with saliva.

Digging your nails into the skin of his chest you kept on. “For a whole week I couldn’t keep from slipping my hands between my legs.” Your voice, thick and hoarse. “I wanted to know what you tasted like, if-if your mouth tasted like blood,” that was when he quickened the pace even more. Your sex was so hot and wet, all the way at the base of your spine you could feel your orgasm coming to you, a full-body shiver that made your eyes well with tears.

The last part was what sent him over the edge though.

“Sometimes, I’d bite myself so I could taste the blood when I’d touch-” was all it took to make him come.

Fuck it felt good too. A weak falsetto escaped your mouth when he released, so warm and filling. That’s what made you reach your end too. You clawed your nails in his skin so deep there were two broken half-moons on his chest. Your thighs clenched against his torso, quivering, as you could feel your body become as light and floaty as chiffon.

Alastor let the both of you ride it out, that sweet joyous bliss. When your mind returned from the heaven it was sent to, you leaned over, resting on top of him. He moved you gently, pressing you closely to his chest. For a while, neither of you spoke, the air lingering with the smell of sweat and blood and sex. You ran your fingers through his hair again; He kissed the back of your hand before speaking.

“If I’d known all that would come out of making you angry at me, I would’ve earned your ire a long while ago.” You rolled your eyes, flicking his chest playfully.

“Perhaps we could do this again, without the arguing?” You propose, “You’re quite good at it.”

A smile stretched across his face as he played with a lock of hair that rested near your face, “Expect nothing less from an overlord of hell cher.” One of his hands slid to your lower back, tracing small circles on that creamy flesh.

“How about we try one more time without the arguing, for good measure?”

You smirked and kissed him again. All for good measure.

#hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor #alastor the radio demon #hazbin hotel smut #alastor x y/n #hazbin hotel alastor x reader #hazbin alastor x reader #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel imagines #fanfic request

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ozzgin · 8 months

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How would the guys react to prehistoric reader fighting pickle (and she wins if that’s akay) Since he angered her. Because he ate her food( or she really loves food or she’s on her period)

(hope it makes sense )

I can never say no to a strong female character so it’s absolutely okay! If you‘d be so kind, I have two more asks regarding the prehistoric reader that I think are somewhat similar, so I’d just combine them under your request.

The first request: prehistoric pregnant reader “adopts” Baki (our affection deprived boy could use some love); her first spoken word is “Pickle”, and finally she gives birth to twins

The second request: prehistoric reader begins understanding modern human language, surprising the fighters, and begins translating for Pickle.

Baki Characters x Prehistoric! Fem Reader (II)

Featuring Pickle and his challengers. The sequel to our prehistoric reader that just gave birth and is slowly cozying up to modern life.

Reader wins against Pickle

You don’t even remember what set you off. Maybe the pregnancy hormones had gotten out of hand, or Pickle’s successive wins had earned him too much audacity. What’s certain is that you weren’t pleased with his attitude and decided to remind him you’re not one of the humans for him to show this insolence.

Hearing the savage, vicious growls that erupted from your chest as you slammed Pickle’s unconscious body into the ground one final time, no one really dared to interrupt you. Retsu, Katsumi and Jack had already received extensive injuries from a Pickle that held back still. They didn’t wish to ponder what you could do to them in your current state. Baki glanced at his father, wondering if he’d be tempted to challenge you during this unique opportunity.

Yuujirou, however, was trying his best to hold back his laughter. He couldn’t remember the last time he was so entertained. If you were moping the floors with Pickle with a massive pregnant belly, how damn strong were you on a regular day? He nearly put his hands together in prayer, hoping you’d stick around once you were done popping kids. He wanted to fight you so badly and felt like a schoolgirl kicking her feet on the mattress the night before a class trip.

Baki finds it amusing that you’re seemingly stronger than Pickle. His only goal is defeating his father. Of course, anyone strong enough could provide him with extra training for the final battle, but at this point, with you as his opponent, he might actually be overreaching. He hopes you won’t decide to fight Yuujirou anytime soon, because he wants to be the one to defeat him first. Jack shares this sentiment but is also a bit deflated knowing how big the gap between him and the ancient humans is.

Reader’s first word

Pickle is curled up in his enclosure’s tree trunk, pouting mildly after the angry defeat he suffered. To add insult to the injury, he can hear Baki’s spoiled chuckles as you feed him some of your T-Rex meat. After his fight with Pickle, the young boy was most open to receive aftercare and attention and you found it utterly adorable that someone as strong as him enjoyed special treatment.

The other men found it rather humiliating to rely on you and would gently let you know that they can manage just fine. But Baki immediately clung onto you and in time you began to wonder about his family. You weren’t entirely sure how to express the question to him. Did he have a mother? Where was she? How would you gesture for “mother” in the first place? If only you could articulate the same noises the other humans used to communicate. It looked very efficient and also very complex.

You glance at Pickle’s hiding spot, lost in thought. You try to replay some of the dialogues you’ve witnessed. In your mind, you closely observe the men discussing things in front of your prehistoric mate. The way their jaw opens and closes at calculated intervals. Why is the tongue contracting so frequently? Is this the tool needed to turn your growls into intentional, obvious messages? You pucker your lips and allow some air to blow out, like a faint whistle. Then, you tighten your lips and release them with pressure, and a “pop” sound comes out. Baki observes your attempts, confused. You press your tongue against the roof of your mouth and exhale. Another flattened whistle is released.

Finally, you flex your vocal chords with just enough force that the growl smoothens out and is replaced by a continuous voice. You repeat the movements that you’ve practiced in your head. So many people have used this word when looking at him. It can only mean one thing, and you want to hear it roll out of your own mouth. “Pi-ku-ru~”

Pickle pokes his head out of the enclosure, perplexed. That was certainly your voice, but the contents delivered by it were nothing he would’ve expected. His eyebrows are raised and he looks at your equally shocked expression. Baki is dumbfounded. He feels like he just witnessed something forbidden, of unspeakable importance. The raw piece of meat hangs in his mouth, yet to be chewed. You turn to the small human, seeking approval. Was this the correct way to do it? Have you made your message clear?

Before a potential answer comes out, you rush to Pickle and grab his face between your hands. Such a bizarre sensation. Within this vast, intricate language that the humans used, this one sequence of contractions and movements was specially designated for him. This one prolonged sound, and his eyes will lock with yours because he knows it’s him you’re calling. You gently kiss Pickle and he clumsily returns the gesture, still unsure of what is happening.

Birth and aftermath

Professor Payne is pacing in front of the hospital room. He doesn’t know what to be more excited about. The fact that two more prehistoric humans will soon walk the modern Earth, or that their mother casually reproduced articulate language just a few days ago. He clenches his fist in his pocket, somewhat resentful of Baki for being the one to retell the story. What unbelievable potential. His nostrils can already pick up the fresh ink of the soon-to-be published newspapers: “Noam Chomsky’s works in linguistics threatened by latest breakthrough - Discovery of Dr. Payne shows that ancient, Jurassic humans posses the skill to acquire spoken language. Implications unknown.”

Meanwhile, the fighters are gathered in the cramped hospital room. As they have proven their friendship to Pickle, it’s only natural to share this intimate moment with him. Pickle is holding one baby in each arm, cooing at them excitedly. Katsumi is pretending to be focused on a sight outside the window in order to hide his glossy eyes; births are always emotional for him. Retsu is standing close to the entrance, arms folded. He, too, is distracted by the knowledge that you may understand them and reproduce their words. He absentmindedly goes back to his encounters with you, hoping he didn’t say anything out of place that you might’ve picked up.

Baki is sitting on the side of your bed, carefully kneading your hand in an attempt to relax you. “You really should try some of the hospital food, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a dish this fancy!” He smiles at you and then nods in the direction of the tray. You follow his gaze and process his words. “Want try?” You manage to croak. Everyone in the room pauses to look at you. They already knew it from Baki, but hearing it firsthand truly is an astonishing experience. There’s a silent enthusiasm shared by the men standing close and Pickle tenses up, a small frown forming on his face. They better not get any ideas.

“What do you think about your new siblings?” Jack questions Baki jokingly. “Given you’ve been adopted by (Y/N) and all.” You follow the conversation with analytical eyes and Jack wants to try his hand at explaining the words to you. Once the meanings start to connect, you laugh and begin gesturing to Pickle, aided by short growls. Everyone assumes you’re translating to him. Pickle glares at Baki and his hold on the babies tightens, perhaps too hesitant to agree to your bond with the little modern human.

Pickle sighs deeply. Not only was he thrown into this strange world, but now there’s a bunch of men that are starting to show too much interest in you. He’ll have to put them in their place very soon if this continues. He’s especially annoyed at your fast learning pace when it comes to conversing with these creatures. He needs to hurry up and catch up to you if he wants to know the intentions of his rival friends.

#baki #baki the grappler #baki x reader #pickle x reader #baki headcanons #pickle baki #baki hanma #jack hanma #katsumi orochi

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thatoneguydownthestreet · 1 year

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Hey so how would lilia feel about apocalypse yuu and the obvious world ending war and after effects from where yuu is from?

Thank you for feeding us apocalypse yuu <3

I started maniacally laughing as soon as I read the name lilia

FEM ALIGNED DNI

How Lilia Vanrouge reacts to the war and its effects:

Lilia would say your relationship was pretty good. As nameless and as vague as it was. It was...peaceful.

It was nice.

You were learning to trust people, to trust him. To let your guard down just a little bit more each day. To speak your mind and make decisions and to just simply walk with him without looking over your shoulder every few seconds.

He’ll never forget that feeling of happiness and relief when you fell asleep with him right there next to you for the first time, or when you saw him enter a room and he saw your shoulders drop just that much.

Once, in the pop music club room, Cater had asked him how he got you to relax around him so easily. He only gave a small chuckle and a vague response, as he himself didn’t truly know at the time.

He still doesn’t. only having a few loose theories here and there, but he is grateful to be able to know you just a little bit more than the average person. To be able to live this long to see you come here, to this world, scared and confused and hopelessly, utterly lost, and then to see you start to really live for the first time.

He hopes he hopes that he’ll be blessed enough to live to see you thrive.

Honestly? he thinks it’s because of something simple. So, so simple

He listens.

Not to say the others don’t of course, they listen!

they just ...don’t really believe you.

Lilia doesn’t blame them, honestly.

It truly feels like you exaggerate your past and lack of knowledge at times.

The most obvious example he can think of is when epel, that pretty first year boy, gifted you one of those beautiful red apples that grew on his parents farm, only for you to look at it with confusion and distrust.

You didn’t know what an apple was.

You didn’t know what most fruits were period. (Or cheese, or most meats,or most vegetables, he thinks he saw you reboot like an old computer the first time you saw milk) Often confusing the names and refusing to eat them if you forgot what they were.

It was at that point where he could tell your rag tag little group of friends started to doubt your words. Just a bit.

He would have too, if not for the clear, heavy distress that simply couldn’t be faked that was ever so evident on your face when he'd asked.

“Perfect, do you really not know what any of these fruits are”, he has taken extra care to keep this conversation playful. He wasn’t trying to embarrass you after all.

You simply huffed, a bit of frustration showing.

Lilia ignored the little happy spark he got from seeing you show what you were feeling. You were getting better at that.

“Of course I don’t! we don’t have fresh fruit in the tunnels! Not to mention things like "cheese" and dont even get me started on good meat!”, you said it like it so obvious...

You never explained what the tunnels were. But lilia could guess.

He had a bad feeling about them either way....

So yes. The others listened. But you could both see crystal clear that they took what you said with a heavy grain of salt.

Lilia on the other hand, believed every word. Or at least tried too.

So when you asked him to swing by Ramshackle saying you wanted to show him something, how could he refuse?

Really, how could he?

....

Lilia Vanrouge didn't know what he was expecting. He knew it was probably something big, judging from your earlier tone of voice.

But this....

this was just sickening.

you sat shirtless on the floor, with your arms out in the air in front of you.

with your scars on full display.

there were (oh great seven) there were slash marks all across your chest. Ragged and uneven and ugly. Looking like whatever cut them in took extra care to truly rip and tear your flesh apart.

There were burn marks on your shoulders and your stomach. Looking like they came from both fire and electricity. The electric burns spiderwebbing their way up the side of your neck and around your sides.

There were what looked to be claw marks and dog bites on your stomach as well, like you were almost frantically mauled to death and just barely made it out with your life.

There was a circular hole he didn't know the cause of on both sides of your right forearm, the underside scar being in the same spot but significantly worse.

There were like deep (deep) bruises that he could see everywhere on your body.

and then there were the marks on your back....

There were whip marks and lashes absolutely everywhere. Slashed across every which way, overlapping with each other and digging into your flesh. there were a few places that he swore had less skin than others. and oh God some of them only looked a few months old.

Some of them were fresh when you came here.

Lilia didn’t know what the rest of your body looked like, but he already knew that your back was in the worst condition out of everything.

A small whimper snapped him out of his thoughts.

You were still on the floor, now sifting slightly, like you were embarrassed.

Embarrassed. What an odd little human.

Lilia immediately got down on the floor and sat in front of you, dust and possible bugs be damned.

He didn't touch you, only looking at your face and tried to make eye contact.

He tried his best to avoid looking at your neck. The lighting in this old dorm was bad but he swore he could still see a slash-

"Y/N....can you please look at me?", gentle. Just keep the tone gentle for now.

You still looked away from him. Lilia sighed.

Gently, oh so gently, he brought his hand to your face and slowly turned you head towards him.

You didn't flinch. Not once! And if lilia silently celebrated this feat later? Well, that was his business, and his alone.

Your eyes held a hint of fear when you looked at him. Fear of rejection.

Why would he ever push you away for something like this?

...Did someone do that before?

He heard you let out a faint, shaky breath, trying to find your voice.

He still didn't say anything. Just let you take your time. He couldn't rush something like this.

So he sat there, just out of reach as to not overwhelm you, as you took a deep breath and tried to compose yourself.

"So uh...I'm sure you have questions", you tried to say it in a way that lightened the mood, but your voice came out small.

It was fine. You couldn't lighten something like this either way.

The fae infront of you looked at you with the patients of a someone who's lived a dozen lifetimes and counting, which made you relax just a bit more.

Good.

"That I do perfect, but make no mistake, you are not obligated to answer"

"No! No, I- I want you to know. I wouldn't have shown you otherwise...", your voice trailed off.

Lilia took a deep breath.

Ok. Sharing scares.

Sharing memories.

Sharing war stories.

He could do that. He's done it before hundreds of times. He could do it again.

He just...didn't want to do it with someone so young. Someone who had absolutely zero business doing any type of life or death fighting.

Unfortunately, life was a total bitch and just loved putting him in these exact situations.

"Ok...ok. so why don't you tell me about...this one first", lilia pointed to the circular hole that went through your arm. He wanted to know what caused it.

(And maybe. Just maybe, find something that could heal it)

You sighed a bit. He thinks in relief? And smiled just a tad.

"Ok... that one was caused when me and a rescue team were trying to locate one of the medics that had gone missing during a surprise raid on the southwest base.... I wasn't even supposed to be there really...", you trailed off again. Your eyes glossing over a little.

Well. That couldn't happen.

The last thing he wanted here was for you to relive any one of these scars.

"What was the medics name?", it was the only thing he could ask, really. He didn't understand much of what else you had said.

You took a deep breath. Right.

You weren't there anymore.

"Caroline. Her name was Caroline. And she has a sister named Kate.... she's the one who put in the request for her to be found. Her body, at the very least"

Lilia began to wonder what exactly happened during these "raids". And why it required children to clean up the aftermath.

"Caroline. She was the medic. Ok.... you said you weren't supposed to be there?"

You looked a little sheepish at that.

"Yeah... our base was short on explosives manufacturers so they sent me. I was still learning but apparently I knew enough to go out there anyway. Heh...yeah, it didn't turn out too well"

....explosive manufacturers?

Lilia had met and worked with plenty if mages that specialized in more.. dramatic shows of magic. Especially during the wars.

How, lilia wondered, was something like that simulated without magic?

...He didn't know if he wanted to find out.

Instead of asking what in the seven an explosive manufacturer was, he asked:

"Why did you have to go though? Surely there were other uh...people in your field? That had nore experience", he kept his tone soft, trying to keep you unaware of the anger that was slowly building in his gut.

You silently shifted where you were sitting, looking like you regretted this more and more.

Damn.

Carefully, he added, "where were the others?"

"...active combat was getting more and more rare....no one thought- I mean- we just needed farmers and hunters and medics more than we needed weapons at the time"

The look on your face was...hard to describe as you struggled to explain your past situation as quick as possible. Like you would be punished if you didn't do it fast enough.

Hm...

"Y/N...", lilia started slowly

He had an idea of what your world was like.

He had a good idea of what your world was like.

And he was hoping that he wasn't right.

Your head raised a bit. Making eye contact with him and calming down just a little. Good. But he was going to feel all the more guilty about what he was about to say.

"Were you by chance, involved in any type of warfare?"

Lilia didn't know what you'd do. He had been ready for anything. For you to scream and shout and scratch and fight. For you to try and deny what you both already knew for whatever reason.

But you never did.

Instead, you just tilted your head to the side, like a confused dog.

Then you said:

"The war ended around...50 years ago? 60? I don't know for sure. The records were all destroyed, and the elders that fought in it are quickly dying out"

Lilia breath hitched.

All those scars. All their stories. Are from the aftermath? The aftermath of a finished war is still producing what lilia believes might very well be child soldiers.

And then you spoke again.

"When I was...I think twelve? I don't know. No one really knows their age. But I was definitely around twelve. The other manufacturers with more experience and a better idea if what they're doing got sent to the northern bases. They were needed there. They wouldn't tell me why"

...

...Twelve?

"Anyways, a couple months later -or were they weeks?- some time later, Caroline went missing"

Twelve?

"And I was really all they had to send"

Twelve.

"Now that I think about it...it was probably because they could replace me well enough if it didn't go as good as it did"

Fucking TWELVE?!

"As good as it did?!", lilias voice startled you out if your own head.

You looked at him. He looked back at you with an expression of exasperated rage.

You stopped talking.

"As good-as GOOD as it did!"

"Y/N. Y/N there is no good in this! This-" He grabbed your arm. Gesturing to the old, half healed scar that had started this whole mess "-is terrible! Dammit this is a crime against morality!"

...

...oh.

You looked at your arm. At the old shot gun would you had gotten after getting your arm stuck just outside if the entrance to the tunnel you and your temporary team had taken.

You could barely even remember why you had it out in the first place.

To throw a grenade you had put together on the spot? A stick of dynamite? You didn't know.

All you knew was that it hurt.

It still does sometimes.

You looked down at your own body.

They all still do sometimes.

....

Oh God...

You looked back at lilia, and the night resumed.

None of what you said will likely never be repeated outside if the walls of Ramshakle. Not all of it at least.

You didn't tell lilia about the scars on your back. You probably never will.

That was fine.

You told him what you had to do to survive, and he told you that you shouldn't have had to do that in the first place.

There were things that were never really explained. Like guns or grenades or that old, abandoned army tank that you played when you were a child.

("So it's a car...with a Canon on it?"

"Uhhhh. Sure. Yeah")

And other things...

Well. Turns out some scenarios are seen a bit different here.

You don't your age.

That's sad. Not bormal.

You don't know who your real parents are. The high infant mortality rate in the southeast base and the tunnels surrounding it that most mothers simply give away their children to avoid the pain of burying their babies.

That's a tragedy. A horrible, horrible tragedy.

Not normal.

Just like your life.

........

As soon as he got back to Diasomnia, lilia went to check on silver. Then sebek. Then malleus.

Silver and sebek were asleep. And he could see malleus taking a walk about the dorm from his bedroom window.

They were safe. Lilia felt his shoulders drop for the first time that night.

...and then he did something he never thought he would need do again.

Slowly, lilia walked over to his desk, lighting a tall, white candle and setting out an expensive piece of meat.

Wasn't the best offering, but it'll due for now.

He hoped it would at least.

Religion had long since died out of twisted wonderland as a whole, with only a few churches and temples remaining in certain parts in the shaftlands and a few of the older families in briar valley truly practicing in this modern age.

Even so, later that night when his dorm and his children were all sound asleep, lilia knelt beside his bed and prayed to his old god for the first time in centuries.

He could only hope that they would be answered.

#twst x male reader #twisted wonderland x male reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst lilia #lilia vanrouge #lilia x reader #disney twst #apocalypse reader

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clownprincehoeshi · 3 months

Text

Parallel Hearts - Chapter 4

Synopsis: Never in your wildest dreams you imagined that you’ll meet your ult bias. But it seems that the universe really loves you this time. Will Jeon Jungkook notice you?

Genre: for all chapters- Fluff, Smut, Angst

Pairing: idol Jeon Jungkook x fem reader, idol Kim Mingyu x fem reader, idol Y x fem reader

Warning: for all chapters- Kissing/Nudity/Sex scene/Pet names/Angst Minors don’t interact!

youtube

Word count: 6401

Don't know how this chapter got so long. By my calculations, all chapters combined will go somehwere between 40k and 50k. Depends how much the plot thickens. Happy reading!

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Masterlist

This is a feeling you know too well. You’ve been here before and you hate it. You hate how all you think about it’s him, how you can barely sleep or eat, how you cry so much. You hate you’re so far from home and you can’t have your besties to keep you company and give you warm hugs. They know you the best.

Of course Hana has become your good friend, but can’t compare a friendship of 15 years with one of 1 year. Though, you feel you can trust her, you were always lucky with picking your friend. Apparently, you’re not as good at picking men.

Hana has been sleeping at your place since the breakup, 3 weeks ago. She’s going to be visiting her parents in Busan this weekend though, and you’re afraid you might have nightmares again. It’s something that happens whenever you’re really sad.

But you’re making progress. You can finally eat almost normally, you went back to the gym, but you can’t yet listen to music. You feel like music reminds you of him and you are not ready yet for it. Sleep is still a problem for you, as you need to know that someone is there for you, in your house. Breakups have always left a hole in your heart, a loneliness you can’t express. So you need company. You feel like a lost puppy.

You told Hana that you’ll feel extra lonely this weekend since she’s not going to be there and she said not to worry, because she’ll send one of your friends to keep you company. She didn’t say who, she said she wasn’t sure which one will be in town and have some free time.

So you waited all day on Saturday for your mystery friend to arrive. You even baked and bought some of that good meat to grill later, as a sign of gratitude. You hear knocking on the door and you go to open it.

Y/N: Mingyyyuuu!

You are so happy to see him, that you jump right at him for a tight hug.

Mingyu: I had no idea you missed me so much.

You invite him in and you feel relieved that it’s him and not someone else. The only downside is that he reminds you of him, as they are such close friends. He’s hoping to find out more from you, and maybe get you to open up. He wants to be there for you and help you get over this dark period you’re having.

Y/N: Tell me what you need. I even got meat and we can cook. You’re thirsty, hungry?

Mingyu: I feel like we could use some drinks before anything.

Y/N: Yesss, please!

You get some soju out and you try to not abuse alcohol right now, you tend to speak too much when you’re drunk. And you get to become too direct and honest. You both sit on the couch that’s facing your big living room windows, revealing the city.

Y/N: Maaan, I love to sit here for hours and look out the window. But I hate that winters here are cold as fuck. And I’m not sure yet if I like snow or if I hate it.

After some time of silence from Mingyu, and a couple of glasses, he finally got the courage to say something.

Mingyu: Y/N?

Y/N: Hmm?

Mingyu: I want you to know that I had no idea he didn’t tell you he will leave now. Even if I knew, I don’t think it was my place to let you know. And I hate that he acted like this and that he hurt you. I tried to talk to him about it and he just blew off, saying some stupid shit.

Y/N: What he did say? Because all he said to me was that he was sorry, on the day he enlisted. That was some lousy text. I blocked him after that.

Mingyu: He said “Why aren’t you happy now? You can finally have her”.

Y/N: What a stupid thing to say to his best friend. Where did that come from, why is he acting jealous since he never gave a shit about me?

Mingyu: Well I think he was always jealous, just not letting it show. Thing is this kind of affected our friendship. I mean, I was the first person to tell him to go for you, to confess. And for him to act like I was trying to make a move on you was pretty shitty.

Y/N: So let him believe that. Hope he can’t sleep well at night, thinking his ex and his bestie are fucking.

Mingyu: Whoaah, language!

He looks at you and asks how many glasses you had. You lift 4 fingers but you say two.

Mingyu: That’s it, no more soju for you, princess!

Y/N: I’m not a princess, look how I dress. Like a homeless dude.

He comes to hug you, patting your head.

Mingyu: You’re my homeless dude, then. Now let me be your chef for today, I’ll make you something really delicious.

And you let him cook. Not that you’re lazy, but you’re a little drunk and you don’t want to mess up. You’re feeling too good now, and you put some music on. You think some D’Angelo fits with today. You even forget you we’re not able to listen any music since the breakup.

Alcohol takes away your shyness and it’s like you’re another person, but you just think it brings the real you, fun, funny, silly, bright, friendly and chatty. Mingyu just giggles every time you’re like this, because he says it makes him happy when you’re happy.

He wonders if it’s a mistake that he came to keep you company today. And while he was having that thought and also moving around your kitchen, he felt you body brushing his. He froze and looked at you. You were just minding your business, looking for plates to set the table. The space between your counters and the kitchen island was not very generous, bot in your drunken state, you didn’t realize that.

He kept looking at you and felt his cheeks heating up. As your body brushed his, your hand also brushed his abs. It sent electric shocks through his body. He always had a thing for you, we can call it a crush. He gave up on you, as you were into his friend, so he kept these feelings closed. But what just happened now, woke a tiny little thought in his mind. What if…?

A voice brought him back to reality and a pair of big bright eyes looking up at him. Damn, you looked adorable.

Y/N: Gyyyyuuu! How many times do I have to call for you? You’re ghosting me right in my face.

Mingyu: Sorry, what does my princess want?

You look at him angrily and mumble something only for you to hear. Sheesh, such a tall and handsome dummy.

Y/N: Nevermind!

Food is ready, he made the grill and rice and you made salad. He knew that if you eat and drink lots of water, the alcohol will not have such a strong effect on you, and he was right. But he kept on drinking, he has a big tolerance. After dinner, you both took a shower. Separately. You went to you bedroom and he took the couch. Was a pretty big couch, he felt comfortable.

It was easy for you to drift to sleep after all that alcohol and food. And after that hot shower. But in the middle of the night you woke up scared and sweaty after a bad dream. Someone or something was chasing you in your dream.

You remembered Mingyu was there and you got out of bed to go check if he was maybe awake, to…talk to you, make you forget about the nightmare and the stupid mood it put you in. But he was sleeping. You got down on your knees, close to him and waited a little. In your sleepy state you thought that maybe if you stare enough, he’ll wake up and just guess what was going on in your head.

You whispered his name slowly but nothing. You pouted and got up to go back to bed. As you were getting up, you felt a grip on your wrist. He was awake. Why didn’t he say something? He pulled you down and you lost your balance and fell right on top of him.

Mingyu: What’s wrong, princess? Came for cuddles?

Y/N: Uuummm I had a bad dream.

Mingyu: That’s why you’re on top of me in the middle of the night?

Y/N: You pulled me.

Mingyu: Not that hard.

Y/N: I tripped.

Mingyu: On purpose?

You whined, trying to get up, but he didn’t let you.

Mingyu: Stay here now, you said you had a bad dream. I’ll protect you, that’s why I’m here.

Y/N: Gyu..we shouldn’t. This isn’t..

Mingyu: Right? Why isn’t it right? You’re a free woman now, nothing wrong with us sleeping in the same bed, or couch. You’re still thinking about that jerk?

You drop your face into his chest, feeling stupid.

Mingyu: Darling, don’t feel bad, ok? He was stupid and now he’s gone. There are so many other guys that would be sooo happy to be with you.

You tried to speak into his chest but he didn’t understand any word. He just stroked your head and told you that you can use him as a pillow, or as anything you wanted. You were quiet and you stayed there. It felt nice. Warm and fuzzy. So you fell asleep in his arms and he was a happy man that night.

You only had Mingyu sleeping at your place one more time, but Hana was there too. It was after a little get together of the 97 crew. It’s been 2 months after the breakup and you felt good now. Crying had stopped, nightmares had stopped, and you didn’t feel lonely anymore.

Also, since you and Mingyu were closer now, you started to get into his group. It was like a ray of sunshine watching them do silly stuff on their shows and interviews. Reminded you of when you first got into kpop. Mingyu was very busy lately with Seventeen, preparing for a comeback, but he never forgot to check up on you and call you every other day.

You knew Mingyu was a ladies man and that he always had flings and affairs, mostly with female idols, actresses, models or just women that were famous. He would tell you about them sometimes and ask for advice. It seemed that he would never settle thought, like he was bored right away and was looking for something, but even he didn’t know what that something was.

You were at work one day and you had a meeting with your boss and teams about a new project you will work on. You were the team’s artist, you were skilled with your hands and very talented. You used to paint with Jungkook when you were together and you hated that every time you were drawing for work it reminded you of him. At least you’re not crying now, tight? Those days are over.

So this new project was for Hybe. Ugh! Will this man hunt you forever? You had to work with Seventeen’s team for their new promotion and when you heard you were a bit excited. Ok, maybe a lot excited, because you pretty much became a fan of them. This meant that you might be ending up meeting them, or at least some of them.

For the next few weeks, each member would come to your agency and have individual or group shootings, and you had to be there for everything. Who was your bias? You thought it was Mingyu, obviously, but other than him, don’t ask. It’s impossible when there are so many of them and all so interesting in their own way.

Today’s shooting was for Hoshi, he was he 7th member you’ll be meeting. You got a little late at the office that day, so you were running in your heels like a crazy dude, carrying all these papers and drawings. Then, the next second you were on the floor, all your shit flying every where. You look at your skirt. Kimchy all over it. Your head hurt.

Guy: Omg, I’m so sorry, I was not looking, I had my face into my bowl.

He got up to help you. You were about to unleash the fire of hell on this guy, until you saw his face.

Y/N: Oh! It’s fine, it happens. It’s my fault too, for being late and running. I’m here for your shooting, anyway, I’m in charge of the set.

Hoshi: I’m Hoshi, it’s nice meeting you and again, I am sorry. Let me gather your stuff and help you clean your skirt.

Y/N: No no no no, it’s ok, really. I always keep extra clothes in my office just in case, I’ll change.

Hoshi: I feel so bad, not sure that spot will come off, I should know.

He pouts and you think it’s the most adorable thing ever.

Y/N: Btw, I am Y/N and a friend of Mingyu.

He looked a little stunned at your words and he became very defensive.

Hoshi: Oh, you’re that Y/N. Ok, then I should go back to the shooting, they expecting me.

And like that, he just ran away, he let you stand there with your extended hand, waiting for him to shake it. What a weird guy. But why did he say it like that? “that Y/N”. You decide to ask Mingyu about this tonight.

The shoot went smoothly, Hoshi was a natural and he is very photogenic. Though he kept giving you weird looks, almost mean and you felt like you did something but had no idea what it was.

Back home that night, you text Mingyu and tell him to call you when he’s free. He calls you in 2 hours after he gets home.

Mingyu: Y/N, hey! What are you up to? Missed me?

Y/N: Of course, why not.

And you start laughing by yourself, very proud of your joke. But he doesn’t flinch.

Mingyu: Ugh, please. Since you started watching Going Seventeen you’ve gotten insane.

Y/N: Come on, it’s cute when you say it.

Mingyu: Ok, going to hang up.

Y/N: Nooo, pleaseee Gyu! I’m sorry, I’m sorryyyy!

Mingyu: I like when you beg. Go on..

Y/N: Shut up, perv! I have a curiosity. Today I met your buddy, Hoshi and he was very awkward around me after he found out who I was. He said “oh, you’re THAT Y/N”. Spill!

Mingyu: Hmm, I have no idea. I mean, some of the guys know about you, that we’re friends, but that’s it.

Y/N: Hmm, I think it’s weird and there’s something more there. Maybe you don’t know either or you don’t want to tell me. Which is fine, I will find out on my own, I’m a good detective.

Mingyu bursts laughing. You end the call 30 minutes later and you keep thinking about that encounter with Hoshi all night.

It’s time for vacation, you and Hana got a week off work because you want to attend some concert Mingyu invited you both to. Seventeen is going to perform in Thailand and you always wanted to go there, so it’s the perfect opportunity. They will have 3 concerts there and you decided to go to one only, because you needed time to do tourist shit with Hana.

You tried to bring only your best clothes and accessories, because you knew you’ll see the guys again and you wanted to make a good impression. Plus, Hana didn’t let you bring any of your homeless stuff. You were a little pouty about that, but you’ll listen to her THIS time, because it was vacay time.

You did a lot of shopping there, spent a lot of time at the beach and trying out local food. Took tons of pictures, you wanted to post on your socials so that Jungkook will see you’re happy without him too. You didn’t know how he would see, you just liked to think he will.

You always get a nice golden tan in the summer and it somehow makes you look prettier, everyone tells you that it suits you. Hana insisted that you attend soudcheck too, not just the actual concert, claiming that’s where to fun is. Oh well, you went anyway and made sure to look your best. So you got the “girls” out, wearing a deep cut top, let your long hair flow over your back.

Y/N: Wifeu, quick answer. Should I wear something to show off my legs or my ass?

Hana: Uff, hard one. How about both?

Y/N: Nahh, too slutty for a concert.

Hana: Girl, you need to get laid again in this life.

Y/N: Legs or ass?

Hana: Damn, let’s have a little meeting about this. It’s important. So we’re going to dinner with some of the guys after the concert. What’s the first thing they will notice when they see you?

Y/N: Boos, of course.

Hana: Yes. But after that? I think they will notice the legs, since you’ll be facing them.

Y/N: Ok, so legs it is.

Hana: Unless……there will be times when we will be walking, turning, moving and stuff. And there will be people behind you, and if you wear tights pants, they’ll die.

Y/N: Come ooon, make up your mind woman!

Hana: Oh, ok. Legs. I think.

So you wore a short skirt that matched you top. Your top had a tiger print, it was just a coincidence, but Hana thought you were wearing it for a certain someone.

You were in the crowd, front seats, excited to see Mingyu and give him funny looks. When the guys came up the stage, the crowd went crazy. You could understand, these boys were breathtakingly handsome and pretty. What’s the deal with this Jeonghan guy, you think. Where does he have this audacity to look so beautiful?

Well your friend Mingyu was beautiful too, you knew that, you were not blind. Everyone knew that. And he had this stupid look on his face the entire soundcheck. He kept looking at where you two were standing. He looked…pretty hot, you have to admit. Even Hana said so.

And when the wind blew over his t shirt and shorts, it kind of…made you feel something. Were you too vacation drunk? You know you get hornier when you travel, so you blamed it on that.

The concert was so fun, you danced, singed, waved at them. Some of them recognized you from the shoots they had at your agency and they waved back. You found it funny to catch Hoshi throw some looks your way, but he was not smiling or anything, just serious looks. What’s wrong with this guy?

You knew it’s going to be a process to get out of the stadium when the concert is over, it was really crowded and you were right next to the stage, so you had to wait a lot for the people in the back to get out. Because of this, you and Hana arrived at the dinner place after the guys got there.

You went to the rooftop to find Mingyu, DK, Wonwoo, Hoshi, Jeonghan, Joshua, Jun and Minghao. You needed a drink, you were too nervous. Your hands were shaking as the guys stood up to shake your hands and introduce themselves once again. They all remembered you, except DK. And of course you knew Wonwoo pretty well.

The whole night you felt eyes on you. You still didn’t shy away to eat like you like to eat and Mingyu always praises you for this, telling you that you eat well. Whatever that means. Some of the guys asked you a bunch of questions, Hoshi was the only one to not engage with you.

Jeonghan even asked if you wore that tiger print top because Hoshi was your bias. Made you blush at the remark but you said you have no bias and that you don’t want to betray your friend Mingyu by having one.

DK: I can be your bias, I’ll deal with Mingoo, don’t worry.

Jeonghan: Yeah, he’s big but he’s not dangerous.

Y/N: Hey guys, don’t be mean with my Mingoo. I know you bully him a lot.

And you pout and put your hand over Mingyu’s hand. He blushes at the touch and he pulls his hand right away, slapping yours in a playful way.

The food was delicious there and you even put a little alcohol in you, some champagne. The guys went a little crazy because it was their last concert there and the net day they would return to Seoul. You saw Hoshi had red cheeks, sign that he was drunk. After ONE glass, guys. ONE glass. But this made him a little friendlier.

It also made him clingy with his members as he kept on kissing their faces. You thought it was cute. You love men that are not afraid of showing affection to their friends. Since you also had a couple of drinks, you felt courageous enough to engage with Hoshi and maybe find out if you did something wrong, so you could fix it.

So you saw him taking some photos of the view and you walked towards him.

Y/N: Hi!

Hoshi: Hi.

Y/N: Can I ask you something?

Hoshi: I guess.

Y/N: Did I do something to you? Because I feel like you hate me or something. And maybe there is a misunderstanding. I don’t know. If I did something, I’m sorry and please let me know so I can fix it.

Hoshi: Why do you treat Mingyu like that?

Y/N: Like what?

Hoshi: Like he’s some fool that you can walk over.

Y/N: What?

He looks right into your eyes, rage inside them. You have no idea where this is coming from and you don’t know where to go from here. You just know there is a misunderstanding between you. You would be fuming right now if it were some guy and you would just walk away, but it’s Mingyu’s friend and you don’t want to start some drama.

Y/N: I assure you, I don’t treat him like that. And I can have this conversation in front of him, right now, if you’d like, so you can see that’s you’re having the wrong idea about me.

Hoshi: Hmm, yeah, I see it. The gaslighting. That’s how you do it.

And he just hisses and leaves you there. You’re dumbfounded, what was that. You’ll need to talk to Mingyu again, he will have to tell you this time. You’ll do that after you all get back to Seoul and he gets some free time in his hectic schedule.

It’s not like you care what people think of you, it doesn’t affect you. But why did Hoshi having a bad opinion about you affected you so much? He wasn’t someone close to you. Tonight, Mingyu, Eunwoo and Hana are coming to your place for dinner. You’ll be cooking for them this time.

You ate, had some shots, played some cards and when it was time for them to leave, you asked Mingyu to stay a little bit longer because you wanted to talk about something.

Mingyu: Ok, what is it?

Y/N: So your friend Hoshi hates me and I think someone told him something about me that was not true. I know you know something that you’re not telling me.

Mingyu: Y/N, there are some things that I can’t just tell you, but why he’s like that to you, I don’t know. All I can say is that me and him had some conversations about you, maybe he misunderstood something I’ve said? It’s possible.

Y/N: You ever told him anything about me and Jungkook?

Mingyu: No, nothing about him. But why do you care so much? Just let him be, not like you’re close.

Y/N: But I want your friends to like me.

Mingyu: Why?

Y/N: Just cuz. What’s it to you?

And you slap his arm hard, making him whine and calling you mean. You invited him to spend the night on your couch, since he had to drink, but he said he has a hot date and how he’s been seeing this new girl for a month. So he left, leaving you wondering even more about the things that he doesn’t tell you.

Spring has come. Your second favorite season. Your favorite is summer, because you’re a lizard that loves the heat. And you like spring because it’s finally getting warmer, the plants are coming back to life, and it’s your birthday season. It’s also Mingyu’s birthday season and he’s planning a party.

The venue is huge and it feels like the invited the whole kpop industry. He’s so popular, you think. Why didn’t you go for him, in stead of Jungkook? Really? Why? Oh, maybe because he’s kind of a…fuckboy?

You try to look like your sexiest self, but not too over the top. You remember what happened the last time when you looked too sexy. Some guy confessed and you ended up with your heart broken. So no, this time, going easier on the sexiness, thank you.

All night, you tried to stay close to Hana, holding her hand or her dress. You didn’t know who most of those people were. Hana kept dragging you from corner to corner, because she was into a guy from a band, you can’t remember the name. You have trouble remembering names. You bumped into the other Seventeen members and greeted each other. Hoshi didn’t even look at you. Huh, what a douche.

Trying to stay sober tonight, you want to remember it, because so many celebrities were here. You saw some members of TXT, Enhypen, Le Seraffim, The Boyz, Ateez. Mingi was not there and Hana was hearbroken. You felt good close to your 97 gang, still holding Hana’s hand.

Mingyu comes to you guys and hugs all of you, thanking you that you came. He hugs you a little too long. He has a sad look on his face and you ask if something is wrong. He shaked his head, but with a pout and a sad look. You knew it was something. Then DK and Minghao come over to chat.

DK: Hey guy, what’s up? Shall we do some shots?

Mingyu: Yes, and nobody can say no.

You all do 2 rounds of shots. Then you see Minghao coming closer to you.

Minghao: How’s tonight treating you, you having fun at the party?

Y/N: Hmm, so and so. I’m not a social butterfly like Mingyu here, but at least I have my friends.

Minghao: You look gorgeous, I have to say. You have great taste.

DK: Hao, did you just tell her she tastes good? Wtf?

You and Minghao start laughing. DK could be such a clown sometimes. While you were laughing, Minghao was leaning a little towards you, touching your shoulder and Mingyu noticed that and slapped his hand off you. He made it look like it was in a funny way, but you felt that he was protective. But come on, Minghao? He’s the sweetest guy, don’t need protection from him.

The night was a success, even though Mingyu seemed to be really stressed out. But probably because he wanted all to turn out ok.

You were back at home, 3 AM, when your phones rings. It was Mingyu.

Y/N: Mingoo, birthday boy, what’s up?

Mingyu: Can I come up?

Y/N: You’re here?

Mingyu: Yeah.

Y/N: Come up.

Now you were worried. His voice seemed a bit off, different. When he enters your apartment, the first thing he does is to hug you tight and you hear him sobbing.

Y/N: Gyu, what happened?

Mingyu: She was supposed to come tonight but she just ghosted me.

Y/N: Who?

Mingyu: I was seeing a girl, Y/N. She broke up with me one my birthday, with a lousy text.

Y/N: Aww, come here.

You hugged him some more, kissing his head.

Y/N: Come on, let’s sit. You want water, food?

Mingyu: Water, please.

He gulps a whole glass of water and calms down. You had no idea he had a serious gf or that he had feeling for someone. He was always a mystery.

Y/N: Wanna talk about it?

Mingyu: Not right now. Can you cuddle me tonight, please?

He was looking so sweetly into your eyes that you couldn’t say no, it was your time to be there for him and you will do whatever he needs you to do.

You let him take a shower, made him a sandwich. You know he’s a big boy and needs to eat. Made him hot tea to help him sleep and put him into bed. You put a warm blanket over both of you and hold him close to you. Felt his breath on your neck and from time he would make out little cute noises. You could tell he was hurting.

You started stroking his hair slowly, telling him it will be ok and that you’re there for him.

Mingyu: Y/N?

Y/N: Yes, Gyu.

Mingyu: What if we…

Y/N: What

Mingyu: No, nevermind.

Y/N: I hate it when you do that.

Mingyu: There is something I need to do.

Y/N: Ok, what is it?

Mingyu: Will you say yes?

Y/N: But I don’t know what it is.

Mingyu: Can’t you just…trust me?

Y/N: I do trust you.

Then he lifts his face from your shoulder and he is laying now on his side, facing you. He cups your face with one hand and brings his face close to yours, almost touching. Is he trying to kiss you? If he does, will you let him? He might be just drunk and will regret it tomorrow. And what about you? Do you want this? Thousand thoughts flooding your mind right now. If you’re being honest with yourself, you have thought about him that way.

You have looked at his lips one to many times and wondered how they feel like. Wondered how you’d feel under him, in his strong hands. You blamed it on the horniness and nothing else.

Your heart starts racing and when he puts his lips on your, you let him. You let him kiss you. And you like it, it feel right. But also wrong. But you know what? Get fucked, Jungkook, you deserve this. You deserve I make out with your friend.

He’s being so soft with you, so careful not to break you. Your lips open for his tongue to lick the inside of your mouth. You can feel heat raising inside you and you moan his name into his mouth. That was like a wakeupcall for him, because he stops and pulls away.

Mingyu: I’m sorry, shouldn’t have done that. I’ll go sleep on the couch.

And he leaves you in bed, alone and turned on. You were so turned on that you didn’t try to go after him, because you needed release right then and there. So you took matters into your hands, while thinking about Mingyu and what would he do to you. While you rubbed your clit slow, you imagined he was eating you out, pushing his fat fingers inside your soaked pussy. You could feel wetting the bed, you were that wet. You tried to fuck yourself with your fingers, but after a few minutes, you felt it was not enough. Damn you, Kim Mingyu! You needed him. Wanted him. You needed him to be inside you, fucking into you hard.

You got out of bed, took your clothes off and decided to go to him and just hope he won’t push you away again. If he kissed you, then he wanted this too, but he needed to know now that you wanted it also. So you went into the living room and you laid your naked self under his blanket, next to him.

He didn’t wait, he didn’t say anything, didn’t hesitate. He just took you right then. He felt like fire all over your body. His kisses so passionate, his lips all over your body. Licking your ear, your neck, whispering filthy things into your ears. His hands roaming all over you, squeezing your breasts, licking them with hunger and sucking on them. You started to pull him into you, wrapping your legs over his waist.

His cock felt so hard and big under his pants, rubbing on your naked pussy. You needed him so bad.

Mingyu: God, I’ve been wanting to have you like this since forever.

Y/N: Touch me, Gyu. Please!

Mingyu: I want to taste you so bad, baby. Want to taste your pussy and feel it cumming around my tongue.

Y/N: Fuck! Do whatever you want to me

His mouth traced lower, to your tummy, leaving open mouth kisses, to your hips and finally to your pussy. Licking your folds and feeling how wet you were for him. Teasing your poor clit that needed attention and release so bad.

Mingyu: You’re so wet for me, fuck! You’ll feel so good around my cock, princess

He started to lap at your clit fast, pushing a finger inside you. He felt you were so tight around one finger, he needed to prep you more for his cock. A second finger goes inside and you clench so hard around them.

Mingyu: Right there, baby? Gong to cum on my fingers like this?

Y/N: Yess, don’t stop. Please, Gyu!

And you came so hard that you were seeing stars. You pulled him by the shirt up to your face and tried to get him naked. You wanted to see him naked so bad, to run your hands all over his sculpted body.

Y/N: You feel so good naked, rubbing on me! I need you, Gyu

Mingyu: Tell me how you want me, baby

Y/N: I want you to fuck me hard, want you inside me. Ruin me!

Mingyu puts one hand around your throat, squeezing slow and getting tighter by the minute. Starts to kiss you hungrily. The other hand he used to hold your waist down. Then he begins to push into you and you can’t control your moans.

He thinks you sound so filthy right now and he loves it, wants to make you moan louder. Wants to know he’s making you feel that good.

Y/N: Oh god, Gyu! You feel so good, fuck! You feel so fucking big

Mingyu: You’re taking my cock so good, baby. So tight and wet for me. Wanna make you cum all night

You loved that he was so vocal and so rough but at the same time gentle.

Y/N: I feel so full. Please

Mingyu: You looks so beautiful right now. On my cock, while I split you open

Mingyu: Want me to fuck you dumb, princess? Need me to make you forget about all the other cocks you had?

Y/N: Yesss, fuck!!! I’m coming

He feels you clench around his cock so tight that he can’t stop his own orgasm, releasing inside you deep and hard

Y/N: Shit! Fill me up, Gyu? Fill this pussy deep

You couldn’t believe what was coming out of your mouth. You felt like such a slut and you loved it. And he didn’t stop, he kept going with the thrusting. And you felt like the orgasms kept of coming. You were lucky that you could have multiple orgasms, sometimes they would not stop for minutes, and you had to take a break.

You kept on fucking for the next hour. You came multiple times and he came two more times inside you. He loved fucking his cum back into you. After this you two stopped and laid next to each other, sweaty and out of breath.

Y/N: Gyu?

Mingyu: You wanna go again?

Y/N: I want to suck you off

Mingyu: Shit, do whatever you want, baby

You went down, tracing wet spots with your tongue all over his body. He was putty under you and moaned so loud when you put his still hard cock in your mouth. You couldn’t take it all, it was too big, long and fat. You’re sure you’ll be sore for days after tonight.

Y/N: Want to cum in my mouth too, baby?

Mingyu: Fuck I want it so bad!

You keep on pumping his cock into your mouth, moving your mouth fast over his length. Moaning into his cock, sending vibrations throughout his whole body.

Mingyu: I’m going crazy here. You’re going to make me cum so hard

And he spills his seed down your throat, pulling your hair, arching his back off the bed and moaning so pretty. He looked fucking gorgeous when he came.

After you both settle down, breathing back to normal, you decide it’s time to clean up and you take a long hot shower. The sheets on the couch are ruined, so you sleep on your bed.

Y/N: Gyu?

Mingyu: Yes, princess

Y/N: What does this mean for us now? Will this ruin our friendship?

Mingyu: I have a confession. I’ve been in love with you since we met and I’ll be damned if I let you get away again. You’re finally mine now, if you want to be mine

Y/N: I do, Gyu, I do want that

You were not sure what you felt for him, but you knew he made you feel safe, he treated you good and made you cum 1000 times. Are you in love? What if his e comes back? He just cried for her a few hours ago, there must be some feelings there. You had so many questions and it was making it hard for you to know how you felt for him. Because he felt like he was surrounded by fog and you needed to fight it and make it go away with great effort. You knew he was a complicated man and you only hoped this will not break you again.

He didn’t let go of you the whole night and you thought you’ll never meet a more clingier man. In return, you showered him with kisses because he was just sweet like that.

50 notes · View notes

bridgetotheskyyy · 1 year

Text

snapshot.

summary: Deidara meets a superfan

warnings: Smut, 18+, rough sex, choking, pool sex, reader has a bit of a description, reader is complex, mentions of killing

word count: 6.9k

a/n: I had this idea shortly after conceptualizing Apprentice and while I was, like 70 or 80% done with that fic. And now we have this fucking 7k monster. I consider this to be a spiritual successor to Apprentice, maybe a oppositional series of events even? Idk, you decide lol. There are even some similar words and wordy allusions that you may catch haha. Hope you enjoy!

read on ao3 here. (recommended for extra notes)

Kisame’s wicked cackles reverberated across the cavern walls, summoned from the pit of his stomach; Deidara was sure he would pass out sooner rather than later.

“It seems,” Pain began, eyeing the sculpture in the center of the room, “you have an admirer, Deidara.”

Deidara’s brow twitched as a blush snuck across his face. His eyes roved over the sculpture ― the naked sculpture.

Tobi threw up his hands in laudation. “It’s so pretty! ”

Kisame laughed harder ― if it was possible.

“I have taken it upon myself to apologize to (Y/n),” Pain continued over the cackling. “She’s one of our main contributors, after all; we would be amiss to upset her.”

“When …” Deidara’s brow held a life of its own, “... did she send this?”

“No clue; I had Kisame retrieve it,” Pain explained. “Apparently, we sent the wrong member to entertain her.”

Kisame’s hand hugged the wall. “You’re damn right! ”

It was as subtle a joke as could be achieved by Pain and it still wasn’t funny. Deidara’s eyes had not once left the sculpture since Pain had signaled for his attendance, saying it was of the utmost importance he appeared. One arm yawned out to the sky while the other snaked around and brushed against the meat of the breasts ― your breasts. One leg stuck out before the other, the fat of the thigh attached concealing the womanhood.

Your womanhood.

Both futile attempts to afford the piece some decency. Futile, Deidara guessed, was the point. It was coquetry. A shameless attempt at flirtation on your part.

And just in case Deidara was too dense to get the message, you’d taken it upon yourself to leave him one, attached to the foot of the sculpture’s dais:

Hello! Please deliver to Deidara. Thank you.

It even had a smiley face after the period.

Deidara balled his fist.

What. The. Fuck.

“(Y/n) must be an incredibly beautiful woman!” Tobi admired the piece with fascination, a sparkling heart encasing his eyehole. “Look at the face, and the hips, and the feet ― ”

“Tobi!” Deidara was beet red. “Shut the hell up!”

“Deidara,” Pain spoke again, unfazed by the cacophony. “I’m sure you’ll be undertaking a journey west? Since (Y/n) has clearly requested you specifically.”

Deidara’s eyes yo-yoed between their leader and the monstrosity of the naked sculpture. He debated it. Of course, all while fantasizing about shoving explosives down the laughing fishman’s throat and turning him into a pile of sardines.

Tobi can taste one himself, while I’m at it.

“What?” Irritation bit Deidara’s tone. “We’re fucking prostitutes now?”

Pain raised holographic brows. “If it ensures peace, then yes.”

Deidara’s mouth dropped. The audacity of it all. How much was he expected to take?

“We’re waiting, Deidara.”

A pause. He was no fool. This wasn’t a request, it was an expectation.

“Fine,” Deidara sighed irritably. “I’ll go, all right?”

“You better,” Kisame said, at last recovering from his fit. “Better get those high heels out and start walking the streets, too!”

Deidara was ready to draw blood ―

“No need to be crude, Kisame,” Pain’s backdropped against another fit of raucous laughter.

Says the man who puts a naked STATUE in the room.

“ Honestly, ” Kakuzu spat. “Do the rest of us have to be here for this?”

“I second that!” Hidan said with relief, “Finally, something we can agree on. ”

“Of course,” Pain said. “You were here in the event Deidara tried to refuse.”

Deidara ignored them all. He gave the sculpture one more scan before swallowing dry and awaiting the end of the call. He could not believe your gall. You were so … brazen . A simple love letter couldn’t have sufficed? No? A naked ― What the fuck was the matter with you?

Still, he was … intrigued. Curiosity was a hooking finger, beckoning him forth. Was that really … your body? Your lips? Your thighs? Your …

Deidara swallowed dry again, his tongue sticking to the top of his palate.

He’d go to the village and put an end to your games.

And maybe …

He wouldn’t let himself go there ― even if his treacherous mind was wandering already.

<<<>>>

You sat in your museum of sculptures, head tilted up against the gods you had crafted.

The door creaked open.

“I just received Pain’s crow,” your assistant’s voice rang. “Deidara should arrive in another day or so.”

Stars were in your eyes but you kept your back to her. “Great!”

Your grand plan relied on whether or not Pain, mysterious leader of the Akatsuki, was morally bankrupt enough to hoe out his members. At any point you could’ve been rejected with your sculpture returned swiftly to you. But it worked. You were thrilled. The first part of the plan had succeeded.

You were going to see him again.

Your assistant’s footsteps tapped repeatedly over the polish floors upon which you now sat.

“Hmm.” Doubt deflated some of your enthusiasm. “Do you think it was effective enough? You know, for him?”

Your assistant huffed incredulously. “What? Just because Deidara’s a shinobi means he’s immune to pussy? C’mon. You’re not one of those types that thinks all shinobi are noble and stone-faced, are you, (Y/n)-sama?”

As if. You guffawed. Nobility wasn’t the issue; hundreds of people scoured the red light districts for carnal game. You told your assistant as such.

“At least seventy percent are shinobi searching for quick thrills,” You joked. “If my math’s correct, anyway. It could be higher. And I know any one of them would be more than happy if a girl simply threw herself at them without need for reimbursement. But still …” You trailed, gaze tailing down the hardened clay of a kimono-garbed sculpture. “I only wondered. It’s been a long time since … I don’t know how dedicated he is to his little terrorist group, is all. He might not be as amused.”

“You answered your own question, ma’am,” your assistant said. “And even if he wasn’t a shinobi, he’s a man. It’ll go down without a hitch! You worry too much.”

You nodded. She was right: despite the years, you wanted to speak to Deidara in his language. Art. How could he resist such an enticement? How could any man, but especially Deidara, due to the manner in which you had sent your little gift. “Okay. Part one of the plan: Complete!”

“What’s the rest of the plan exactly?” You heard the pat, pat, pat and knew from your many years with your assistant that she was thumping her clipboard against her head. “Dinner? Walk on the beach? Or just … Fucking?”

Your smile was evil. “Yes.”

You held Deidara in your mind’s palm. Blonde hair, gorgeous face .. . One of the most admired artists in Iwakagure ― no, the most. For could rival Deidara? Even your knees wobbled in the face of his raw talent, even years later. He was still revered in the art community. Of course, his name grew to possess more notoriety than reverence when he started blowing up things ― and people. But, hey everyone was flawed.

It was only when he went rogue and abandoned the village did you start your own search for him. Years passed and then … reports of a long-haired, blonde shinobi with profound arsonry acuity. Rogue. Affinity for birds.

Bingo.

Your giggle was shamelessly girlish. “I’d love to woo him.”

Your assistant chuckled. “Aaand you’re not the slightest bit afraid of him? I mean, with all respect, (Y/n)-sama, he’s a criminal. He’s an arsonist. ”

You licked your lips. “Love me a bad boy.”

“Right,” she said with a chuckle. “Forget I said anything.”

“I will. Now, let’s get ready.”

<<<>>>

“We’re going to see the girl with the pretty feet, aren’t we, Senpai?”

“I told you to shut your mouth, Tobi.”

Deidara’s taller partner buoyed from foot to foot as he tailed behind. Deidara didn’t want to think about your body ― your incredibly artful body, artful in more ways than one …

The sun crept from the sky as it vivified the color of peachskin. Deidara’s eyes darted hither-thither, collecting information. It was all he could do to not summon one of his explosive birds and fly over this entire, forgotten village. The urge to set it ablaze and go home was immense. A part of him had wanted to make such an entrance, but prudency would never allow it.

Nor would Leader.

Deidara turned back to Tobi just in time to see him pose, a hand visoring his visible eye while the other landed on his hip.

“Leader said the pretty naked lady would have someone waiting for us,” Tobi said.

“Hm,” Deidara said. It was true; they would wait for someone to escort them to you. Until then, they remained lost in one of the village’s districts. The streets were alive with noise and peopled with busy folk. Deidara could tell the amount of businesses actually open were sparse. Pain had called you one of their main contributors … She must be a big wig to have people doing her dirty work for her. Just who were you? And how were you so familiar with him to send such a thing to the Akatsuki headquarters?

And if you were so rich, why did you squalor in the dirt with the likes of those in this village?

Thoughts bubbled in the back of Deidara’s mind―

“Hey …!”

Outside of a food stall a woman eyed them, holding a curtain back with manicured nails.

Bingo .

“Tobi,” Deidara gestured. “C’mon.”

“Okay, senpai!”

Deidara neared the food stall.

The woman ticked her head to the side with a smile. “Enjoy your gift?”

Pink colored Deidara’s cheeks.

“So, you’re escorting us, right?”

The woman backed away to admit them into the food stall, where the people inside, dining on bowls of ramen and mackerel were too engrossed in their meals to notice the cloaked men enter.

“You got me,” she winked. “C’mon.”

The woman led them behind the bar, where they slinked through the backdoor into the alley.

“Don’t need anyone asking questions about the cloaks,” she reasoned. “Surprised you didn’t think of that, Oh Great Deidara of Iwakagure.”

“Of course I did!” Deidara said. “I look stupid to you?”

“No,” the woman’s eyes roamed on Deidara now. “You look cute . My mistress really didn’t lie …”

Deidara averted his gaze as the woman snickered. Tobi gawked.

“Does lady think Tobi’s cute, too?”

“Uh,” she blinked. “Sure.”

Tobi twirled with a squeal. Deidara rolled his eyes.

“Whatever,” Deidara said. “Just take us to meet her, all right?”

“Sure …” the woman said.

They traveled through as street lights blared to life, the sky a bruising purple as evening descended.

“I only wanted us in there to help us blend in a bit,” she guided them through the streets. “I hope it wasn’t too troublesome getting here.”

“We can care for ourselves,” Deidara said, prickly.

“You don’t have to be so defensive,” the woman said. “I’m just making conversation.”

“I said don’t worry about it,” Deidara snapped. “So … who is this woman? This mistress of yours?”

“I’m one of her many assistants, yeah,” the woman said, leading them down a dark street, made darker by the light of day dying faster. “I started working for her years ago. I was so amazed by her art and so intimidated by her talent, I didn’t think she’d accept me. But, surprise surprise.”

“Yeah? So how she so rich? She sell her art?”

“Exactly! People come from all over the world to see her exhibits. She brings so much tourism to this ragtag village. She doesn’t even keep her wealth to herself; she donates so much. She should be much richer than she is! She’s a saint, really.”

So she donates to the Akatsuki, the deadpan of the thought laid flat in his mind. Deidara was silent, tailing shortly behind her. Some saint.

“You called me Deidara of Iwakagure.”

“ … Yes, I suppose I did.”

“So … Your mistress … she knows where I’m from.”

The woman was silent now as she led Deidara and Tobi down street steps to a quieter street, nearly bereft of people beside the occasional deadbeat smoker.

“She from there, too?”

Deidara went unanswered.

Hm, so I’m on to something, Deidara noticed the buildings growing taller, treeing up as the raucous of the village slipped away. They traveled further south. Maybe Pain’s got this wrong; maybe this girl’s a fucking black widow and wants revenge on me for something. Figures, he’s sure he’s broken a few hearts in the past he’d long since forgotten about. But then … Why would she donate so much money to our organization? She clearly believes in it.

“We’re here,” the woman-assistant said.

Deidara raised his head ― and kept raising it.

Shit .

The mansion was immaculate, easily the tallest of all of its sisters. Its main building was flanked by towers with onioned tips and was encased in a giant garden, all of it shielded by a surrounding wall.

Deidara stared, bug-eyed.

The doors to the gate’s entrance burst open and a gaggle of girls filed through.

“They’re here ―!”

“Ooh~! there’s two of ‘em!”

“Mistress will be so pleased!”

Girls stood star-eyed at Deidara while more hugged themselves to Tobi’s arms.

“Tobi likes pretty girls!”

“We’ll entertain the other one,” the woman-assistant said with a wink. “You just follow us.”

The woman-assistant led them in where the cult of girls drove Tobi away laughing and giggling.

“This way,” the woman said.

Deidara followed her, looking around. From the inside, the mansion opened up like some grand palace from myth, folkloric and mysterious. Columns shouldered the brunt of a ceiling that raised into the darkness. The floors were illustrated scenes from what Deidara recognized as actual myths. Valiant samurais rescued princesses with flaring kimonos, dragons ribboned down hallways. The scenes on the walls diverged from the ones of nobility beneath them, were lavish with depictions of wild courtesans and …

Deidara blushed.

Begrudgingly, he had to admit you did have taste; the art was a lot, but wove together into one cohesive masterpiece. The hallways the assistant led him down were flanked by vases winking with sheen and overflowed with bell flowers, roses, sunflowers. The hallway widened into a foyer. Something winked in Deidara’s peripheral and when he looked upward saw that the ceiling domed into a orb of glass, giving way to the first few blink of stars.

He had entered the lion’s den for sure.

“ Deidara … ”

The sirenic voice compelled his head to a foyer alcove where a figure shrouded the threshold.

His eyes widened.

(E/c) eyes glittered at him. Long legs supported swaying hips. Elegant cleavage sinking into a familiar mound of breasts. Delicate hands, hickey-worthy neck …

And lovely ― and lovely …

Inwardly, he sighed, defeated.

Feet.

The naked sculpture colored Deidara’s memory.

“Deidara!” You parroted in awe. Your expression shifted as you came to smolder at him. “In the flesh. And just in time for dinner.”

Your kimono waterfalled as you left the alcove. Deidara gulped, speechless as you sauntered to him.

“It ―” Deidara’s cheeks grew hot. “It really is you …”

“It really is me …”

Your woman-assistant's eyes tennis-balled between you and Deidara before bowing respectfully. “I’ll give you two some privacy.”

She hurried away down a different alcove.

Deidara shook his head in a desperate attempt to reclaim his senses. Fucking hell, Dei, get a grip.

“So,” he cleared his throat. “I ―”

“I still can’t believe you’re actually here,” You began to turn, “Let me show you ―”

“Wait, I think we should discuss monetary terms first,” Deidara said in a futile attempt to hold some ground over the woman.

“Hm?” You blinked. “Didn’t your leader explain things to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“The money comes after the evening,” you winked at him. “Of course.”

Pain, you fucking ―

“Deidara …” You revered, pulling the sleeve of your kimono back over your shoulder. “Before dinner, I would love for you to see the rest of my work.”

“Your,” Deidara deadpanned, blinking, “work?”

“Yes,” You smirked at him. “You enjoyed the piece I already had you review, I presume?”

Deidara fought to keep things on the issue at hand, but his eyes grew preoccupied with the twinkle in yours. The sky above the two of you had plunged into a chief darkness. Candles flared to life to douse the hall in tangerine light.

Deidara turned a blind eye to it. “Your assistant called me Deidara of Iwakagure.”

You eyed him. “Did she …?” you said coyly. “I’m glad she didn’t try and call you anything else; she’s got a mouth on her.”

“How do you know me?”

You shied away. Your head dipped. Deidara tried to ignore the cuteness of it all.

Focus, damnit.

“I’m guessing you’re from Iwagakure, too?” Deidara pressed. “What are you playing at?”

You took your time. “Yeah, Deidara, we have a village in common.” You began to walk, crossing the columns to circle him. “Do you remember the underground competitions that used to be held there?”

“Hm,” Deidara recalled and relished in the ego trip it afforded him. Dark rooms. Rowdy spectators circled around art pieces under makeshift stage lights like cavemen around fire. It was before he left the Iwagakure, when he was still itching to engage in the village’s indie art scene before growing bored of the whole thing. “I won most of them.”

“I used to show up early and wait for you to showcase your things,” You glazed with memory. “You were always my favorite.”

Deidara smirked. “Hm, naturally. So you’re, what, some kind of superfan Not like I’m surprised, but …”

You thread past a column to scoop up a candle holder.

“You could say that,” you said. I have something to show you, if you follow me.”

He obliged, curiosity hooking him with a second finger. Candle flame lit like thin clovers to ward off the darkness. The flames illuminated the sway of your hips as he trailed. The sleeve of your kimono slipped past your shoulder again, revealing the skin of your neck and shoulder pad to him …

Why am I even noticing?

You brought him to a room hidden behind a set of rectangular doors.

“This is where I keep them.”

You pushed the doors open with a strength Deidara wouldn’t have expected.

Deidara entered ― and stopped.

It was a museum of art; animal pieces blazed his vision; exotic birds in flight, elegant cranes, all shaded and hued with masterful care and, if Deidara hadn’t been who he was, he wouldn’t have been able to recognize them as pieces done with clay. There were apricot-colored foxes, a dragon head amongst a dragon bust. Deidara recognized a few self sculptures in the forest of pieces. Obscure structures too abstract to be assigned to names dotted space, esoteric symbols eluding even him …

“You inspired me to create my own art,” You explained as he gawked. You inched to him and brazenly took his hand in yours.

Deidara jumped from the sudden contact and found your pretty face in the dim light. Stop … stop. A part of him wanted to summon a tongue to taste the salt on your palm.

“It’s how I’ve made my money,” you continued as you tugged him along the aisles of work like an excited child.

“So you’re that kind of fan,” Deidara said as he recovered. And, what do you want from me?” he chuckled in disbelief, “My critique?”

“Of course.”

He wasn’t expecting an honest answer forthright. Sincerely, he roved eyes over your work.

“Hm, well …” he approached one, taking inventory of it head to foot. “Give me the candle.”

You obeyed.

“You’ve got a great understanding of color, I’ll give you that,” Deidara examined. “Painting can be messy, especially on clay ― and honestly so many artists use colors so … bluntly; it makes the whole thing come off as garish.”

“I’ve noticed.”

He laughed at that. “Hm! … You’ve got a great eye. And I don’t hand out compliments easily.” He raised the candle to illuminate another sculpture. “How long did this one take you?”

“Five weeks,” You answered before chuckling somewhere behind him. “It’s funny, I sketched and re-sketched this one so many times, it was technically seven weeks.”

“A perfectionist. I like that.”

Deidara found himself smiling. Rarely did he get to talk to someone about art or its many processes. Deidara thought of Sasori and was touched with a tinge of respect for his fallen partner. But, of course, they’re philosophies so often chafed against one another. But you … An image of him helping you craft one of your pieces came to his mind: his hands guiding yours over unsophisticated clay, paint dashing your collarbone, maybe on your lips …

“Deidara …?”

Your voice brought him out of his thoughts, only for him to realize you were now in front of him.

“We could talk about this more over dinner.”

Your hands grazed his forearms and for some reason he didn’t pull away. The alluring scent of your perfume flirted up his nose.

Deidara’s cock twitched; he kicked himself inwardly. What was he? A fucking teenage boy? He had half of a mind to shove you away, end this … whatever this was.

But none of that happened. Instead, he agreed. And, taking his hand again with fingers threaded through his, you led him out of your museum.

<<<>>>

You let him to the roof of one of your buildings, where moonlight bestowed diamonds over the still waters of your pool and the dinner table waited, illuminated by more candles.

“You’re a real hot shot now, aren’t you?” Deidara said.

You blushed as he surveyed dinner. “Is it too much?”

“Nah, if anything it’s just the artist in you dying to come out,” he shrugged. “I respect that.”

You moved to take a seat, Deidara following you. He stopped you, pulling out the chair for you.

You sank to your chair with a mixture of surprise and thrill. “What a gentleman. ”

“Just showing my respect, is all.”

You snapped your fingers and two waiters appeared to kneel before you, plates of food in hand.

Deidara did a double-take. “Wow.”

The waiters displayed the food and took their leave. His favorite: bakudan.

“You think of everything, don’t you?” Deidara said.

“Yeah.”

“Hm …” he could not pretend as though he was not impressed, but he could try as he took his seat.

He remembered the art shows in Iwagakure. You were always there? Did he ever see you? Even if he had, you would’ve been little more than a nobody to him, another sycophant he rightfully deserved amongst a herd of fawns and nothing more. You’re telling me all that time … I had a groupie groupie?

“Hey,” he said. “Remember when you said you used to attend my showcases.”

You lowered your fork to raise your brows. “I remember ten minutes ago, yeah.”

Deidara’s own brow twitched. Cheeky cunt . Then kicked himself; he didn’t want to think about your cunt. He watched your tongue swipe your plump lower lip ― then kicked himself again.

“Why didn’t you ever try to talk to me?” Deidara asked. “I mean,” he leaned back in his chair, dangling his fork, “not like I needed any encouragement, even back then, but what gives? If you were such a fan ―”

“I was shy, back then …” You said. You toyed with your food. You had turned bashful, like a schoolgirl. “Still am, to be honest.”

He scoffed. “Hm! Says the woman who sends naked sculptures of herself to people.”

You waved your fork. “What can I say? You bring out the wild girl in me,” The glint in your eye turned seductive. “Always have …”

Deidara gulped. What did that mean? You play with yourself with me in mind? Is that it?

Thinking that was another mistake; images of you sieved into his mind. Sweet, feminine hands sinking in between the softness of your thighs, fingers grazing your wet lips to ...

What did you smell like? Did you smell as good there as you did everywhere else?

He shook his head. Fuck .

“So you’re telling me,” Deidara said just to say something, “you have absolutely no issue with what I do.”

“I don’t know,” You coquetted. “What do you do?”

“Don’t play coy . You contacted Akatsuki. You know damn well what I mean.”

You were silent.

“Killing people,” Deidara said. “Blowing them to smithereens. Kidnapping. The gods know what else. You’re cool with all that?”

Your manicured hand wrapped around your wine glass. You raised it, but before bringing it to your lips:

“Birds of a feather.”

You drank.

What?

“Come again?”

You smacked your lips. “You’re not the only one who’s killed a few.”

A pause. You set aside your drink before challenging his gaze.

“Care to elaborate?” he asked.

“I had an assistant once,” you began. “She told me she was desperate for a job, but you wouldn’t know by the run of her mouth. She complained, took off without warning. But then it turned out she had sticky fingers; she tried to steal one of my pieces. I’d had enough.” You leaned over the table as though you feared Deidara wouldn’t hear. “So I killed her. Used her for my piece after the last.”

“And,” Deidara swallowed, “your current girl …”

“You’ve already met her,” you said. “She’s mouthy, too ― but not to me.”

You had killed, not only that ― encased a girl inside your work. She had wanted your art, and she had gotten her wish.

“That’s …” Deidara trailed. “... Amazing.”

You smiled. “So, you see, I have no problem with what you do. Who am I to judge, am I right?”

“Do the villagers judge you?”

“This village has seen enough strife for a lifetime,” You said. “I don’t think they’d mind learning about indiscretion ― especially if they knew why I killed her.”

Deidara raised an eyebrow. “So you donate bundles of cash to clear your conscience?”

“My conscience is clear,” You said. “People shouldn’t have to suffer any more than they already do. I want this village to prospect. I donate because I want to.” You popped a piece of food into your mouth. “You never answered me, by the way.”

“About what?”

“The sculpture,” Your eyes narrowed with coquetry again, a glint especially bright and beautiful in your eye with aid from the moonlight. “Did you like it?”

Deidara’s heart beat especially loud in his ears ― and this time he didn’t kick himself for it.

“... Yeah,” he relented. “Yeah, I liked it.”

“And it’s been a long time since I’ve seen any of your work, Deidara,” You raised to leave your seat. “Why don’t you show me something?”

Deidara’s eyes widened. Far was he ever from an opportunity to flex his brilliance, especially on someone so appreciative ― so

deserving.

“Sure!”

Enthusiasm straightened your shoulders. “Really? I mean, If you need ―”

“I don’t need anything,” he said, waving you away. “Just stand back!”

You obeyed, eyes bright from the contagion of his excitement. So aptly memorized did he have the hand signs, Deidara didn’t care to glance at them. Instead, he watched you try to futilely follow his movements.

<<<>>>

Clay spilled like milk from mouths on Deidara’s hands to form into creatures before your eyes ― you blinked furiously and each time you did another creature was born; small dragons, spherical creatures with eyes, birds, and one, growing piece of clay, raising meters above the ground. It looked like a snowman to you but, knowing Deidara, it was leagues more dangerous.

You stepped back, overwhelmed by the breadth of Deidara’s creation, Deidara’s artistry .

One of Deidara’s clay birds flapped its wings, swerved in the air and landed gracefully on the cliff of your shoulder.

“So,” Deidara’s smirk brightened his face and sent a throb to your nether regions, “what do you think?”

What do I think? You pet the bird’s clay-made wing. What do I think?

You took a step. The roof crowded with his creatures to dab white ivory among the encroaching night.

Surely, it helped being a ninja; Deidara possessed powers you could only dream of understanding. Still. Your mouth hung agape at the amount of things he could spring alive from the literal palms of his hand. Your eyes followed up at his bigger piece, more of a monument to you than a mound of clay.

He’s a god. A god among men. A god of art.

“Hm!”

Poof.

You startled. Some of the pieces began disappearing. They left the roof choking with smoke until only his large, snowman-like piece remained.

“I see you’ve been stunned into silence by my art,” Deidara said.

You didn’t reply, only began to step forward.

“Hm!” Deidara looked away, crossed his arms. “It’s only natural, after all, to have your breath taken away by my artiste.”

Another step. Another.

“I’m sure our leader didn’t even tell you what I’m capable of.”

Another.

“It’s a good thing, too ―”

You were running now.

“It would’ve spoiled the surprise ―”

You pounced on Deidara. He cried out but you barely heard it as the force propelled you both backward, falling hard and fast into the swimming pool.

<<<>>>

Bubbles spilled from Deidara’s mouth. He could feel your hands on him, somewhere, everywhere ―

He looked to the surface of the water and swam toward it. He could not feel your hands anymore.

He came up for air, looking around for you.

“(Y/n)!”

Then you emerged ― but he had no time to register it as your arms came around him. You pulled him down toward you, your lips crashing into his in a wet kiss.

“Mm …!”

Your tongue ran over the hard shell of his palate. Your hands held his cheeks. Your legs hooked around his waist to trap him between your thighs.

“That was ― mm ― the most ― mm ― amazing thing I’ve ever ― mm! ― seen!”

Deidara’s hands found you ― and immediately met skin; your kimono, having not been able to withstand the pull of the water, slid dangerously past your shoulders, the folds opened wide so he could feel the full cushion of your breasts against him.

Oh, fuck.

Just as he began to play with your tongue, you broke away.

You faced him with heavy-lidded eyes, drops of water falling from your abused lips.

“Let me make good on my promises to Pain,” Your hands hooked behind his neck.

“Wha ― what?”

“Fuck me, Deidara,” Your voice was thick with lust. “I told him the quantity of my donation was completely dependent on how hard you fucked me. It would be an honor to be fucked by such an amazing artist!”

That sent something to his dick.

The surprise dissipated. He smirked. “Really …? Is that so …”

He gripped your throat and hoisted you above him. He heard you gasp and tightened his grip, feeling the twitch of his cock in response to the victimized sound.

“Beg for it,” he ordered.

“ Oh … ” You whimpered. Your head fell back as Deidara’s hand served as a brace.

He reached downward and tugged at the wet bow of your kimono. He yanked it and reveled in it coming apart to reveal the rest of you.

“ Beg. For me .”

Everything you did and had done was a plea for him, he admitted, but the idea of you begging vocally made him painfully hard. His eyes drank in your naked form still half submerged in the water. Wet tits in his face. A droplet of water fell away from a nipple.

“Please …” came your breathless voice. “Please, fuck me ― oh … ”

He thumbed at the tempting nipple, pert and so responsive to his touch.

“ Nothing underneath, ” he feigned chastisement, pinching the nipple between his fingers. “Fucking slut .”

He tightened his grip twofold and was pleasantly surprised with the moan you rewarded him with. The strict fit of his pants was becoming too much to bear. You jerked in his hold, tits jiggling in his face.

“ Please, fuck me, Deidara!”

Satisfied, He set you down and watched you bounce in the water before yanking you forward. He pressed his mouth against yours once again. You reached for him to no avail; he spun you, your back now pressed hard against the side of the pool. He released your mouth to dabble kisses at your neck, biting at pieces of skin.

“ Fuck …!” You arched and Deidara fell into the dip of your curve.

You gripped his hand to bring it to your face. He stopped kissing you to look at what you had in mind, his tongue still present at his palm.

Your lips traced his palm and began to kiss the tongue there.

“Mmm …”

Deidara laughed as you tongue-kissed his hand. “You really are a fucking weirdo, aren’t you?”

The tongue slithered over your own. You released a moan and closed your mouth over the tongue, a flushed red tainting your cheeks. Your hand pressed behind the back of his hand, forcing it to deepen the kiss, to nibble at his tongue. Deidara hitched a breath. You sucked it further into your mouth.

“ Ah ― y … you wanna suck on something so badly …” Deidara murmured. “MaybeI should give you something more legit, hm …”

You mewled in approval. His tongue retreated from your mouth and he felt a twinge of triumph when you gasped for air. He approached you. A hand ghosted over your neck before ramming you hard against the wall of the pool, the force with which he’d done it so hard he was sure its cement edge imprinted on your upper back. With his other hand he tugged his trousers down.

You met his eyes.

“Take a deep breath.”

And he plunged you into the water.

He looked down, watched the water dance as your squiggly reflection gripped his cock and fit it into your mouth.

Deidara groaned. His head fell back as you hollowed your cheeks and took him in. The water did nothing to stall your mouth; you bobbed your head, stroking what couldn’t fit into your mouth.

Deidara steadied himself with a hand at the pool’s edge, entranced by how your tongue rolled back to lick his head each time you pulled away, only to take him deep into the back of your throat when pulling in ―

“ Nargh …! ”

A hand palmed at his balls while another tightened around his cock. Deidara reached for your head in the water to thread fingers into your head and force you harder onto his cock.

“ Aah … shit! ” He wanted you to choke on it. He wanted to own your mouth.

And apparently you wanted that, too; you popped him from your mouth a few times. You hadn’t come up for air once since he’d submerged you, his cock now your only business. He yanked your head up. He forced a kiss, the taste of himself in your mouth driving him mad.

“Enjoying dinner, I see, hm, hah …” he quipped, eyes heavy on your hand still stroking his cock. “What a pro. ”

“Only for you, Deidara-senpai. ”

You hand abandoned his cock and you licked him off your palm. Without his help you went under, fitting his cock in your mouth a second time. Deidara kept your hair from your mouth as you sucked him. His cockhead hit the back of your throat and, oh , you didn’t choke, only took more, more. Greedy cunt.

He imagined you practicing this for him, only for him, your senpai. Your mouth hungering for what wasn’t truly there. Deidara squeezed eyes shut; close, close. You were sucking his cock as though his was the only one in the world, worshiping with your mouth and tongue. He imagined your lungs desperate for air, screaming for them, yet your mouth too transfixed to care.

A fucking servant for him, obedient to his cock.

Deidara’s cock twitched. His groan was low and rumbling as he spilled his seed into your willing mouth. You sucked hard, jerked him into your mouth. Your mouth slicked with his cum and grew impossibly warm. Saliva and his own seed coated his cock.

“Aaah-ha- ahh …! ”

He scalped you as he emptied into your mouth, cum guzzling down your throat.

At last, you popped him from your mouth and emerged before him, mouth and lips thoroughly abused.

Deidara’s gaze cast down on you. He caught his breath in the seconds absent of words.

“I could use a girl like you,” Deidara exhaled.

You popped your lips, eyes dreamy and narrow. “I think you just did,”

“Hm! An apprenticeship, then?”

You recovered immediately. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

He smirked at his own prospect and pulled you to him. “C’mere.”

He emerged from the pool before helping you follow suit. He removed his black fishnet shirt and flung it away. He drank you in. Naked, in the flesh ― and wet, right when he thought you couldn’t be improved upon.

You settled atop the dinner table and waited for him. Deidara came to you.

“Spread those legs.”

You acquiesced. He licked his lips at the sight of your puffy, glistening cunt.

“You wouldn’t be my first,” You said, “but you’ll be my last.”

He slotted into the space you afforded him. He caressed your vulva before giving it a firm slap. You yelped and his lip upturned at the sound. He slid a finger between your folds, encouraged by your appreciative mewls.

He gripped the fat of your cheeks and forced you to look at him and not his adventurous fingers.

“Your best. ”

You hooked your legs behind him as he geared his cock grazed your folds ―

And thought he might cum just from the sound of your drawn out moan when he slid inside you.

He bucked from instinct, the firm grip of your twat clouding his senses. Again he went for your throat, the appendage becoming its permanent resting place.

“This is what you wanted, right?” Deidara breathed out, thrusting hard. “Leader’s gonna get his fucking money’s worth …”

Hands gripped his wrists tight as he began to fuck you, the table wobbling slightly underneath your mewling body.

“Yes …! Ye―Yes, oh!” You clung to him, Deidara’s hands upholding you. “ Fuc ― oh, Yes! I owe Pain my life ― oh! ”

He released your throat just to bite at it. He sunk his teeth into your skin while his hands committed to making scarlet red prints against your ass.

“ Fuck, you’re ―” Deidara stammered. The feel of your cunt swallowing him was too much. He recalled Kisame’s threat to fuck you himself. Not on your life, sharkman . And he felt himself thrust hard just to affirm you were his. He’d set the entire world ablaze before anyone else could experience the wonderful grip of your cunt. “You’re mine. ”

You tugged him to your lips again and kissed him. A moan from you vibrated against his lips. He reached downward to tease your clit and your legs trembled at his sides.

“ Fuck, Deida ―” You flung your head back. “ I’m ― ”

He knocked you onto the table and lifted your legs over his shoulders. He began to pound you, relishing in the bounce of your tits. Plates fell to the floor and shattered as he wrecked your cunt.

He choked you again, sure there would be a greater hand-shaped bruise once he was through. He flicked your clit, thumbed it. Your scream rumbled under his grip as his balls slapped your ass.

Your moans grew shrill, and you clenched ―

“ Fuck …! ” Deidara lost himself in your tight cunt. He slapped your clit, grip dangerously tight at your neck―

“Yes, please!” You called out as you came, “Dei― Deidara!”

Spurts of cum left his cock and sucked into your cunt. You convulsed and convulsed. You showed him the whites of your eyes as you came. Deidara held you to him by your thighs. A few more weak thrusts and he gave out on top of you, his chin hiding in the crook of your shoulder.

A few moments passed. Deidara raised his head, caught you over the corner of his eye. “So … everything you wanted?”

“And more, ” You sang.

He maneuvered to place a kiss at the heart of your collarbone, still so fascinated with it. He removed himself from you before assisting you as best as he could.

“Did you mean it?” You inquired after a few moments more.

“Hm?”

“About me being your apprentice?”

“... Hm,” Deidara shrugged. “Well, I’ll have to check my schedule. But, if it all adds up, I wouldn’t mind having you by my side.”

You squealed, engulfed him in a hug.

“Ah, ah!” Deidara fought you off. “Okay, okay, whatever!”

“Oh, I’m so excited! ” You bounced. “So, so ― wait!”

You pulled back, smirked up at him.

“I almost forgot,” You said. “Your payment … ”

<<<>>>

“Two million yen,” Pain said. “All in a single donation ― our highest to date. I assume it went well?”

“Hm!” Deidara said. “Very!”

“And Miss (Y/n) tells me she’ll be requesting you monthly from now on,” Pain continued. “Each time with the same donation or higher.”

“Are you telling me Deidara’s dick is going to fund all our expeditions from now on?” Kisame mocked.

“And the rest of our lives,” Kakuzu’s voice tipped in interest, “if this goes on …”

“Don’t get any ideas, Kakuzu!” Hidan barked. “We’re not whoring ourselves out.”

“Shut up,” Kakuzu bit back. “I’ve never even thought about it. Unless …”

“What girl would wanna fuck you? ”

“A satisfied and wealthy client means less worry over how we secure our money,” Pain said, ignoring the bickering, “so, in a manner of speaking, yes. Deidara will aid in contributions― as we all should.”

“Well, then, we’re all set!” Deidara said.

“There’s just one thing that irks me about this whole endeavor,” Pain said. “... Where is Tobi?”

“...”

“... He didn’t come back with you, did he?”

“... No.”

“...”

Pain sighed.

“... Go back and get him, Deidara.”

#my work #deidara x reader #please reblog #deidara x y/n #deidara smut #deidara x you #naruto smut #naruto x reader #naruto x you #naruto x y/n #naruto fic

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thoughtfulfoxllama · 4 months

Text

You wanted me to spill tea, and tea I will spill:

The Word of Wisdom is fundamentally misunderstood by everyone (myself included). Let's look at the Word of Wisdom, shall we?

Let's begin with the Prohibitions, as these are the only things enforced by the Church. They comprise of Alcohol, Tobacco, Illicit Drugs, Coffee, and Tea. From the start, we can't deny Tobacco, Coffee, or Tea. The WoW only said "Hot Drinks," but Hyrum (who was authorized to receive revelation for the Church at the time) said it meant Coffee & Tea.

On the subject of Tea, Herbs of the Field. The Lord has told us to use all the herbs of the field with prudence. This is not me saying to distrust medical professionals, but they can help sometimes. I can't count how many times I've had a horrible stomach ache helped by Peppermint Tea. But it'd be dumb to reject the advancements in medicine we've made in the past 10,000 years. This is also why I support medicinal marijuana (and other things like psychedelic therapy). As long as it is used in wisdom & moderation, it can do good for a number of physical and mental issues (such as my grandmother using it for her seizures, or that veteran who used it for his PTSD)

Finally, Alcohol. The Word of Wisdom only prohibits "strong drinks" (which was defined as distilled alcohol, like Vodka). It encourages Mild Drinks (such as beer), and says we can have wine, if Mormons make it. Joseph drank wine (for pleasure, not just for ritual), Brigham owned a Brewery, and on and on. Obviously, wisdom & prudence. If someone has alcohol issues, they shouldn't drink. This fits into my concept of Zion. Drinking for Pleasure is fine, but Drunkenness is unacceptable. We need to enjoy pleasure without getting consumed by them. But since so few of us can manage that, I see why the Church went the way it did

Next, what have we been encouraged to eat. Grain (which is the Staff of Life), Fruits, and Vegetables. There are people who can't eat them (people with Gluten Intolerances & the like), but I can't argue with this. Fruits and Veggies are good

Although, wisdom is required here too. Not all food is made equal. I'm not going to go completely crazy about GMOs (we've been modifying our food for over 5 millennia), but we need to be more careful about the affects. And the flour we use nowadays is stripped of basically all it's nutritional benefits

Final is the mixed category, namely meats & animal products

The WoW never actually mentions animal products, so this is all me. Animal Products are good, and should be used. Eggs (especially considering the "eat meat sparingly" part) are an amazing source of protein. Milk is good for calcium, if you're not lactose intolerant (like I am). The Lord approves of Honey so much he constantly mentions it in association with the Promised Land(s), and specifically told the Jaredites to take bees with them. But, like all foods we've covered so far, careful. My FiL used to be Egg Intolerant, until he started raising his own Chickens, and he's had no problems with those eggs (and they taste way better, and fill me up way more than Store-Bought ones)

The Lord taught us to "eat meat sparingly," and I've seen a bunch of interpretations, from Vegans to Carnivores. All hold some merits, but no one gets it all right. I don't even think I get this one. Ryan Hinkley (a Blogger & Podcaster) said part of his interpretation is that we should do the least harm. He advocates restricting meat use to meats like Venison and Beef, because they are large enough to feed a lot of people over a long period of time (and have you ever had Venison Tacos. Try it sometime, if you eat meat). It mentions Cold & Famine, and this could be because of the extra protein, which allows you to build mass, to keep warm in winter, and last longer in famine times. In addition, if you work in agriculture (especially in the time of JS), that's the most available food you have in the dead of winter. I want to add to this the prophecy about the Sons of Levi offering a sacrifice. Sacrifice for the remission of sins is done away with, but I believe animal sacrifice will return. In Biblical Animal Sacrifice, the Meat (for the most part) wasn't burned to dust, but roasted and eaten. If I am correct, and it does return, then the reason we are to eat meat sparingly is so that when we do eat it, it's as a celebration of the mercies of God. That's just my crackpot theory though, with ideas I've had floating around for years

(And this is all just a theory. I want to try restricting my meat intake & whatnot, but I don't feel ready for that. And even if the Church said we could drink, I probably wouldn't, because I have a family history of alcohol & drug abuse)

#mormon #lds #tumblrstake #queerstake #lds church #word of wisdom #mormon hot take #you can take my hot cocoa from my cold dead hands #and i can't sleep without vanilla chamomile

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thatprettybunny · 1 year

Text

Mr. Jeager

This idea is from this post by @mediocrecherry !

I've never actually written for Eren before, but I hope you like how it turned out.

Your phone buzzes. A text from Mr. Yeager pumps up on the screen.

'Mine or Yours?'

You ponder it for a second before responding with a simple 'yours'. After all, his classroom was warmer.

The bell rings, and you breathe a heavy sigh of relief. Quickly, you dismiss your class, vowing to correct their labs by tonight so they can make their corrections next class. Once every student had left the classroom, you grabbed your pretty, designer handbag, a gift very special to you, before locking up the classroom door behind you. You had to stop at the staffroom briefly to collect the two lunches, but in no time you were in front of the acclaimed History teacher's door.

As any other teacher would, you gave a small rasp to the door before pushing into Mr. Yeager's classroom. The room was beautiful, covered in magnificent maps of battlefields and statues and other artifacts that Mr. Yeager collected during his time as a historian.

Eren Yeager was truly an interesting man.

You were slightly stunned to see students still in the classroom; after all the lunch bell had rung over fifteen minutes ago. "Are they on punishment Eren?" You asked, a small laugh to your eyes. Eren gives an amused look. " Kind of. They're here for extra credit."

You gave him a look, one with a silent question, 'Should I stay?'.

Luckily, Eren understood, giving you a reassuring nod, before signaling you to come to his desk. He pulled one of the chairs from an unoccupied seat right next to his desk chair, tilting it at an angle so you could still look at each other. You studied his movements, the way his shirt bulged as he reached for the chair, god alone knows where he discarded the blazer he wore this morning. Before you could plop into the seat, however, Eren planted himself on it, patting at the teacher's seat, another silent gesture.

You sat at Eren's desk, in his seat. It was a different experience. Normally, when you two are alone, you sat on the desk, your legs between his as he man spreads slightly beneath the table. You smiled, watching as Eren struggled to sit ergonomically in the chair that certainly wasn't built for someone of his height. You chuckled, resting your bag on the desk into the bottom drawer of his desk and taking out the two lunches. You scanned them, handing Eren the one with more meat and keeping the one with more sauce for yourself.

"How was class?" he asked, quietly and contentedly listening to you drawl about certain problem-making students and any other concerns between bites of your food. You both used code names for students and other teachers, aware of your small audience's presence.

Without warning, Eren reached across from where he was sitting, and grabbed your chin with his hand so you'd look at him; then he used his thumb to wipe the small stain of brown gravy off the corner of your lips where it was pooling. A red blush peeked up your neck till it presented itself in a dash over your nose and on your ears.

So much for no PDA at work.

You two ate lunch in comfortable chatter until the bell rang to end lunch. You could sense his student's eyes staring at you both now and again, but you tried not to let it bother you too much.

"Thanks for lunch," he said, "It tasted like heaven." He helped you tidy up all of the food utensiles, before he reached into the drawer to pass it back to you. You studied it, debating your options. "Actually, can you keep it? I only have a lab to do next period an then I'll come back for it?"

Sure, Eren said, walking you out the door; after you left, he took the handbag, the pretty black and pink one he'd got you for your birthday and placed it back into the bottom drawer of his desk. Your drawer. He just hoped he remembered to take it out before going home.

The next day, the rumors were everywhere.

"OMG did you see the picture of Mr. Yeager and that one Science teacher?"

"Yes! I totally ship it!"

"They're so cute together!"

"Nooo! Don't say that, you know I have a huge crush on them!"

And so on went the gossip, only this time you and Eren were the hot topic of convrsation.

Your phone lit up again; the words 'BABE' plastered across the screen. 'Mine or Yours?' the text came in. You thought about this for a second.

'With all the rumors, are you sure this is a good idea? People will talk' you replied

'Fuck them. I miss you. Come over here." Short, needy and blunt, traits you've come to expect from Eren.

You sighed, what would you do with this pesky husband of yours?

#thatprettybunny #fluff #eren x reader #eren yeager #Eren Jaeger?#i imagine teacher Eren is built for like absolutely no reason #attack on titan #teacher au #modern au #aot fandom

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phlurrii · 1 year

Text

Welcome! ;D

Hey nerds, welcome to my fluff pit! This is the home of myself and my fan comic “The Ancient Mew” about some goofy ass cats and their increasingly dark lil slice of life.

If you wanna support myself, my cat Moo, or my comics, feel free to DM about commissions or become a member of my patreon for extra and exclusive content! As well as early access to all the comics ;3

✨Patreon✨

Some content warnings for my comics and art: Explicit/Implied Violence, Heavy/Dark themes, Death, Gore, Horror, and… drawing inconsistencies. (Spoopy)

:Relevant Comic Links:

Comic Start : This is janky and breaks a lot, would recommend using the links on the comics to find recent ones to either catch up/double check things!

Ancient Mew Chrono Link : This link is the meat of this blog, if you wanna see the story, important asks/answers, explanations, lore, details, world building, doodles, interactions, extra comics/art, and overall all art/animatic/important ask content relating to this series, THIS is your link.

Grotto of the Ancients : If you JUST want the main comic, either to catch up, review, go back, or re-read, THIS is your link. First time viewers should see the above link in red.

Click read more for extra content, characters sheets, and links to get caught up on lore ;3

:Lore Related Posts:

Timeline : Documented timeline of all notable events available to readers currently.

Family Tree: Current relations between all characters, present and upcoming.

Missingno. Chrono Link : All asks, answers, and art relating Missingno. and their Lore.

Decamark Chrono Link : All asks, answers, and art relating Decamark and their Lore.

Meau Chrono Link : All asks, answers, and art relating to Meau and their Lore.

:Commonly Asked Questions:

“Can I make an Ancient Mew OC using your concept/design?”

No. I have a post here explaining my thoughts on it and what I’m ok with versus not.

“Are Fanart/interactions okay?”

Of course! I LOVE seeing what ya’ll get up too!! Please feel free to tag me or send an ask if I miss it aswell >;3c

“What is Noe’s and Meau’s relationship?”

Queer Platonic Relationship! QPR! Basically they are Aroace companions till the end of their days! Link to explanation here.

“Why did Meau’s eyes change?”

The comic starts off with Meau in a much weaker state then where she was after she took a long rest. Her phenotype related genome had corroded and she was forced to relay on different genes to make her up visual appearance. They were repaired during that nap.

Character References

Meau: They/She/It

Missingno. : They/He/It

Mewtwo: They/He/It

Circe: She/They/It

Decamark: They/Them/It

Mew: They/She/It

Qari: He/They/It

Periodically available for asks, currently travelling through dimensional portals.

#ref sheet #Meau #the ancient mew #mew #mewtwo #pokemon #ancient mew #mew pokemon #pokemon mewtwo #pokémon mew #ask comic #ask mew #mew fanart

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just-some-trans-nobody · 10 months

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Yautja x trans read on period part 2

Looks like I'm making three parts cause I got some great suggestion's for a male yautja from @empressnarria that I just had to write, than you for the amazing suggestion. The next part will be a female yautja.

Same warnings as the first part but of course I'll add them to this one.

Warnings: blood, swearing, bones, period,

Like always

Minors don't interact!!!

This like the first part is just a whole lot of fluff from your yautja mate.

Formated on a phone, sorry if it looks wonky on different devices. Not spell checked, I'll fix any if anyone finds them.

------------------------------------------------------------

Male Yautja

Having cravings your mate can't get from his planet? He's flying off to earth to get you anything you want to eat and extra just in case. If your craving different stuff and ask him about those when he gets back he'll sigh and march right back into his ship to get that too.

He will want to try what you get though, it must be good if he had to go all the way to earth to get it, it was worth it though to see how happy you were he would do it again of you asked him. When he tried your chocolate icecream that seemed to have more chocolate added to it than possible he reeled back holding his head. It hurt! Why were you eating something that causes pain!? He was so confused when he heard you laughing at him, he looked like a kicked puppy as he held his head. You had to explain to him that eating ice cream to fast causes brain freeze and it will pass.

He won't eat ice cream again not trusting it. However he wouldn't say no to a little if you spoon feed him it.

Now if you have a meat craving that he can get on board with he'll jump up and race out the door to go hunt the biggest thing he can find to bring back to you. He'll be a little disappointed that you ask him to cook the meat first but then remembers oomans can't eat raw meat like he can. He won't complain about it again.

Every time your on your period he'll make a nest of pelts and pillows, your not allowed to get up he's snuggling you and pampering you the whole time.

If your being extra snuggly when you get junk food craving that you can only get from earth he'll whine lightlgly not wanting to stop cuddling you but he'll get up and go, your his special little mate, he'd fight the sun for you. If space had speeding laws he'd break each one rushing to and from earth to get you your junk food.

Having bad cramps? He's cooing softly as he gently places his warm hand on your stomach applying a small amount of pressure. Expect lots of kisses and nuzzles until your cramps pass you by. He feels awful that you have to go through this, he worries he doesn't do enough. Please tell him how much you appreciate him big scary alien men need praise and appreciation too.

Bleeding everywhere and feeling awful about it? Don't worry, he got scared the forst time he smelled your blood but now he's used to the scent. It's odd how sweet is smells compared to normal blood. He kinda likes it? He doesn't want to admit that though in case it embarrassed you. Any spilled blood he'll clean it up no problem don't worry about it ooman mate he got this.

Anyone sniffing around because if the sweet blood in the air quickly gets a growling male in the face. Will fight anyone to protect his little mate in a time of weakness.

He may have read a few ooman articles to learn more, apparently it helps oomans to swear to deal with pain? Maybe try cursing? He has no idea what most of these words your saying it but it seems to be working? No idea what a cock sucking mother fuck is but you sure did say it a lot.

Chocolate and teddy bears seem to be a thing that helps according to this ooman document. He doesn't trust the chocolate ice cream any more but he'll get you other chocolaty things. Fruit is good for oomans, chocolate covered strawberries seem like a good idea. Getting you a couple new stuffed animals he'll present them to you as if he had hunted them. He was delighted when you happily took the items.

Sense your laying around in bed all day you wouldn't mind if he cleaned his trophies in the bedroom then right? He claims it's so he can be there if you need his help but he mostly wants to show off his trophies. If you comment about the skulls while snuggled in the stuffed animals he gave you with a heating pad, though he's jealous of the heating pad, he'll be delighted if you talk about his trophies. Talking is good, talking means your not dying, please don't die on him. He knows your period won't kill you but they way you act some times makes him think your about to die.

If you cry at all because of your hormones he will panic. He has no idea what to do. Pulling you into his chest he'll burry your face in his plump chest. Oh you stopped crying, that's good, why are you kneading his chest though?

If you have a couch and tv at his ship or home at his planet expect lazy cuddles while watching tv. Cooking shows are boring to him he prefers raw food anyway. Now reality tv that he likes, he likes it even more when the petty people on the tv start fighting each other. Don't tell him it's all fake he won't understand and he'll get confused.

Oh no you bleed though onto your favorite comfy pants and the bloods not coming. Please don't cry he's rushing out to earth to search every for at least five more pairs for you. Don't worry he'll buy you as many as you need. He won't through the ruined pants out, he'll still keep trying to get the blood out if it held meaning to you. If he manages to get the blood out he'll present it to you so happily his hard work paid off.

If you ask for a pet while on your period he's going to any planet he needs to go to for it and will present it to moment he gets back. He couldn't wait he wanted to see the look of joy on your face, it was worth it. Might get a little jealous if you give the pet more kisses than you give him. Please give him more kisses.

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infuriatedby · 1 month

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Summer plan&rules!

My wl plan for summer 2024!

Why? So I can enjoy being prettier and hopefully lose like at least 10kgs until October for uni! I never had a rich social life but hopefully a thin body will make me feel more confident and special (and then I'll get some friends and a bf).

Starting date: 27th May 2024

Stats:

Height: 168cm

Sw: [insert weight in May, prob around 65?]

Gw: 50-53kg

I'm not worried about the numbers as much as my appearance. I don't have a scale at home too </3

Rules:

[They aren't too strict, that's because I have depression and getting out of bed is a struggle... also I'm realistic and don't want to ☆ve or be bonespo]

1. Daily calorie limit

- 1200 on normal days

- 1600 on first 3 days of my period, 1400 on the rest of it [I basically get flu each period-]

- liquid fast every 2 weeks, depending on where family is (I could have a protein shake for breakfast and a rice cake if I feel faint or like my stomach will make noises, but I have to try and stick to water other no kcal drinks)

- 500 twice a week (haven't decided on the days yet, if on my period skip)

2. Unhealthy food limitation

- as little candy as possible + they have to fit in the daily deficit, find healthy alternatives

- no chips (if I do break and have some, portion control)

- avoiding fried foods

- eating fruits and drinking diet sodas instead of candy and full sodas

- no alcohol

3. Making a lot of my own food - since the calorie limit is an upper limit, I should stay well under it, and for that I need to cook for myself as much as possible. Refuse fried foods as much as possible too.

4. Movement

- try to work out daily for at least(!) ~15 mins

- try to visit the pool twice a week

- 8k steps a day

5. Motivation

- new, beautifully fitting clothes, my reward will be a loooong shopping spree

- people commenting on how pretty I look

- envy

- finally feeling worthy of having something, feeling accomplished, feeling tamed by myself and deserving of the discomfort in a good way

- feeling good about my body - no more insecurities!

- more pronounced facial features

- fitting into size small, maybe even extra small even brandy melville

- cute and small boobs

- male attention hopefully lol

- something to focus on in times of anxiety

- etc

6. Safe foods/grocery list:

Ingredients: fruits, vegetables, poultry, tofu, chickpeas, rice, lentils, greek yoghurt, non dairy milk, cigs, 0 sodas, low cal wraps, tuna, philadelphia light, crisp bread, eggs, mushrooms, shrimp(?), stevia(?), almonds, prunes and dried plums, rice paper, chia(?)...

Foods to cook:

- eggs/tuna with rice, soy sauce and cucumber

- lettuce wraps

- low cal wraps with chicken, mozzarella and veggies (+rice)

- potato poultry and veggies (default Polish dinner)

- salad (versatility!)

- yoghurt, banana, almonds, oats + biscoff

- bowls (grains + protein + veggies + yoghurt or other sauce)

- boiled eggs with veggies

- meat should be boiled, grilled, or fried with as little oil as possible

- bread is okay, but no butter or yellow cheese

That's all for now. Will add as I think about it.

#tw ed diet #ed dieta #nie chce być gruba #ed not sheeren #tw ana diary #skinnni #i wanna be skinnier #i wanna lose weight #thin$po #thinspø #tw thinspi #mealsp0

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cloudninetonine · 1 year

Note

Gilda definitely beamed Legend on the head for that stunt so she's super protective of Accidental Wish!Player once they come back. The Cringe Links definitely had to keep Mecha from killing the Vet for that stunt too. All three are also still salty and quite protective of Player too.

No one is letting Guide wander outta sight for awhile especially when the Chain has to travel in cold places. Unless Player's Plagas got Artic Scale Worm traits then places like the Hebra Region will slow them down and make em sluggish. Wild was very quick to notice their reaction so everyone has to take extra care in low temperature areas.

Courage: Need me to pull up the Fire Rod?

Player: If we don't find a place to stop in five minutes then sure. Twilight picked up some extra fire wood earlier.

Wanna make Legend feel worse? Player's appetite definitely changed than just their appearance. They can only eat raw meat and sweets as anything else would make em sick. Not a fun thing to hear especially when Player has to turn away a good chunk of their once favorite meals.

Player: I hate this cause I miss Wild's cooking but these damn Plagas can't stand it. 😭

Legend: *sinks further in his seat*

Warrior: I'm pretty sure we can find more things you can eat. The Cook did make some honey candy earlier.

Player does have a few buggy quirks to them from their Verdugo nature. First 'purring', well more like cricket chirping as that's what it sounds when content. They found out while Player was fast asleep and the peculiar sound comes from nowhere. Hyrule immediately think it's cute.

Mood ring on their ass as their tail tends to move differently depending on how they feel. It taps against the ground in anger or frustration, Player wraps their tail around them if nervous or scared and fast tag for happiness n excitement. The Chain have a better method to tell their mood since facial expressions aren't effective anymore.

Chittering is also thing but it really only happens when curious or confused. Do not back Player into a corner as they will go feral and attack just like a cornered animal. Eyes burning red, on all fours with tail raised to sting. The Villain Chain definitely had to turn tail since none of them expected a very violent bug on their asses once Chrono tries to attack Mecha.

Player is a very quirky person even when they're a 8 or 9 ft tall Verdugo. M

Not only did Gilda probably beam Legend but probably straight up gave him a mini curse for a short period of time as true revenge- she cares about it and understands his guilt, but seeing Player like this (when the Guide had done so much for her little brother) she wasn't about to let this slide with a tap on the wrist.

I also like to think that Wild probably went through his magic jewelry to find some cold protection to help Player! (Also because there was a mention of Mecha- he would probably allow them to sit in his hatch in the colder climates for the extra protection)

#cloud answers #Anon asks

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thepastisalreadywritten · 4 months

Text

A Medieval Christmas

By Mark Cartwright

1 December 2018

Christmas was one of the highlights of the medieval calendar not only for the rich but also for the peasantry.

For the longest holiday of the year, typically the full twelve days of Christmas, people stopped work, homes were decorated and a Yule log burned in the hearth.

Gifts were exchanged, colourful church services enjoyed, and merry feasts were eaten by all where there was better food and more of it than at any other time in the year.

There were plenty of songs, dancing, pantomimes, and games, too. For many, just as today, Christmas was the best of times.

The European medieval calendar was not short of holidays: each season had its own special Christian celebration, often based on older pagan traditions.

Medieval holidays were a chance to have a much-needed rest from the usual daily toil and to socialise at family meals where the typical dreary menu of the poor was replaced by such rarities as meat and fish, and the table of the rich was adorned with exotica like roast peacock.

Christmas was the longest holiday of the year by far and lasted from the night of Christmas Eve, the 24th of December, to the Twelfth Day, Epiphany, on the 6th of January.

Mid-winter was a time of year, which saw a lull in agricultural activity, and consequently, many peasants were permitted by their lord to have the entire two weeks off.

The season also involved gift-giving and decorating the home with garlands and wreaths of winter foliage.

As one description of 12th-century CE London by William Fitzstephen records:

"Every man's house, as also their parish churches, was decked with holly, ivy, bay and whatsoever the season of the year afforded to be green."

(quoted in Gies, 100)

Holly, with its glossy dark green leaves and bright red berries, has been considered the ideal winter decoration since antiquity.

Ancient Celtic druids thought it sacred and able to ward off evil spirits, while the Romans used it as a gift to show esteem and goodwill.

Mistletoe is another long-used decoration, which ancient people thought a bringer of fertility, protector of crops, and something that kept away witches.

Long before the Christmas tree took centre stage in the 19th century CE, a double ring of mistletoe was the centrepiece of many a home's decorations, under which couples could kiss, removing the jewel-like berries with each peck.

Over time, the traditional church services for major Christian holidays became more elaborate and Christmas was no exception.

The Church at Christmas

Naturally, in the very religious communities of medieval times, the local church was a focal point for the Christmas celebrations and services were well-attended by all classes.

One development from around the 9th century CE was 'troping,' which was to add extra dialogues and songs to the service.

An example of troping in the Christmas celebration was an elaboration on the question, which choirs sang:

Quem quaertitis in praesepe? ('Whom do you seek in the manger?').

One half of the choir would sing the line and then the other half did.

This eventually led to a dramatisation using individual speakers and actors, which resulted in the presentation of nativity plays with the Magi and King Herod playing prominent roles.

Another play that became popular in church services of the festive period was The Prophets in which a priest conducted a dialogue with various prophets such as Jeremiah, Daniel, and Moses.

Choir boys played dressed up bit-parts like a donkey or devil.

The Feast of the Holy Innocents (Childermas) on 28th of December commemorated King Herod's failed attempt to murder the infant Jesus by ordering the execution of all children in Bethlehem under two years of age.

The church on this day, perhaps bizarrely considering the gravity of the occasion, indulged in a bit of traditional festive role-reversal with choirboys taking the place of the bishop and other higher clergy to conduct services and even to lead a torchlit procession.

The celebration of the Feast of the Circumcision, held on the 1st of January, was even more outlandish, which perhaps explains its other name of the 'Feast of Fools.'

Minor clergy would wear their clothes inside out and lead an ass into church where, upon arrival at the altar, they would burn incense made from old shoes, eat sausages, drink wine and make the sounds of a donkey.

The local clergy, if not invited to their nearest lord's castle, celebrated with a fine meal of rarities at home.

Larks, ducks, and salmon could appear on the menu, or perhaps a kid. We know one abbot of Ramsey Abbey in England reserved for himself a wild boar each Christmas dinner.

Even monks had a treat or two at Christmas. The diet of those in medieval monasteries was quite good anyway but Christmas feasts included more meat and fish than usual.

We also know that at monasteries such as at Cluny Abbey in France, the monks received a new gown and had one of their twice-yearly baths at Christmas (any more was not permitted).

Christmas in a Manor

Amongst the landed aristocracy, comfortable in their castles and manors, Christmas gifts such as fine clothes and jewellery to wear for the season were exchanged on the 25th of December.

There was another round of gift-giving on the 1st of January, too. Known as 'first-gifts,' they were thought to be an omen of a person's fortune in the coming year.

Much like today, though, the real joy of Christmas for many was the food on offer.

Usually held in the Great Hall of a castle or manor, the setting for the Christmas meal for the aristocracy was suitably splendid with high wood-beam ceilings and at least one roaring fire.

The hall was made even more impressive with festive garlands of holly, ivy and other seasonal greenery.

The tables were set with the usual knives, spoons and a thick slab of one-day-old bread (a trencher or manchet) to be used by way of a plate for meat.

Christmas diners were also treated to the luxury of a change of tablecloth after each course.

Two diners shared a bowl for washing hands (everything except liquids was eaten with the fingers), another bowl for soups and stews, and a small bowl of salt.

Served as an early lunch, the first course was typically a soup, broth or weak stew with some meat at the bottom.

The second course might be a vegetable stew (porray) of leeks and onions.

The rich were fortunate enough to have meat as their next course on ordinary days – rabbit, hare and chicken, for example – but Christmas saw finer meat delicacies, fish (e.g. salmon, herring and trout) and seafood (e.g. eels, oysters and crab) courses presented to the guests.

Meats were roasted on a spit over an open fire. Besides legs of beef and mutton, there was veal, venison, goose, capon, suckling pig, duck, plover, lark and crane, to name a few.

A special Christmas dish the cooks might prepare to wow the guests included a boar's head on a platter or a swan or peacock roasted in its feathers.

Sauces added more flavour to many dishes and, thickened with breadcrumbs, they contained wine or vinegar, and herbs and spices.

Dessert consisted of thick fruit custards, pastries, nuts, cheese and luxury fruits like oranges, figs and dates.

There were also entremets – various decorated nibbles glazed with sugar and honey – which were served before the dessert course at Christmas and other feasts.

For drinks, there's red and white wine (from a cup shared with one's dining partner), which was drunk young as it had a short shelf-life.

Wine was often mixed with water or sweetened with honey or sugar.

Alternatives were cider and ale, although the latter, made from grains and fermented with yeast, was considered a lower class drink.

Beer made using hops would only appear in the late Middle Ages. Dessert might be accompanied by a jug of spiced wine.

While all this feasting was going in the Great Hall, the servants of a castle were not forgotten as traditionally they were given better food at Christmas such as geese and hens.

Finally, the leftovers of the feast were taken outside to the waiting poor.

The manor dining table might have had some surprising guests as serfs on the castle's estate did get to live it up a little at Christmas when, by tradition, they were invited to the manor on Christmas day for a meal.

On some estates, the invitations were restricted to just two lucky recipients.

Traditionally, one of the poorest and one of the wealthiest peasants who could also invite two friends along.

Unfortunately, most peasants invited to their local lord's abode had to bring along their own plates and firewood, and of course, all the food had been produced by themselves anyway.

However, they did get free ale and it was at least a chance to see how the other half lived and relieve the dreariness of a country winter.

A Peasant Christmas

A peasant's Christmas was obviously rather less grand than that enjoyed in the local manor or castle, and for them, the season did not start well.

Serfs, already subjected to all manner of odd fees over the year, were expected to give a 'gift' to their lord at Christmas of extra bread, eggs, and perhaps, even a valuable rooster or a couple of hens.

In contrast, free labourers on the estate, especially the more important ones such as the estate's shepherd, swineherd and oxherd, received presents from the lord, typically a bonus of food, drink, clothes and firewood.

It is a tradition, which continued into later centuries, when household servants received a box of gifts on the 26th of December, hence the name of that day in Britain: Boxing Day.

Children's gifts from their humble parents included such simple toys as spinning tops, whistles, stilts, marbles, dolls, and figures made from wood or clay.

Peasants would have decorated their homes much as aristocrats did, with greenery such as holly being readily available for those who searched for it.

An old, possibly pagan tradition persisted, which was the burning of a Yule log.

Actually, a sizeable piece of tree trunk, the log was lit on Christmas Eve in homes of all kind and kept burning for the twelve days of Christmas.

For the special meals of the holiday, peasants ate that rare delicacy of – usually boiled – meat, treated themselves to cheese and eggs, ate cakes and drank ale.

There was certainly lots — the brew typically made by peasant women.

The 1st of January was important as people hoped for better fortune in the coming year.

A superstition developed, like the gifts the rich exchanged on this day, that it was terribly important who the first person to visit one's home was on New Year's Day.

Called 'first-footing,' certain characteristics were considered desirable in this first visitor: a male with a dark complexion, perhaps fair-haired and, best of all, with flat feet.

Christmas Entertainment

There were all kinds of entertainments on offer over the Christmas period.

Drinking alcohol was the most popular of all. The fact that merry-making could easily get out of hand is attested by the common custom of lords paying special watchmen to guard their estates in case of riots.

A record from an estate near Saint Paul's Cathedral in London tells us that watchmen were set from Christmas Day to Twelfth Night.

These men were recompensed by 'a good fire in the hall, one white loaf, one cooked dish, and a gallon of ale [per day]' (quoted in Gies, 208).

Even if drinking such large quantities was relatively common and the ale weak, with four and a half litres of ale per watchman, it is a wonder they themselves did not get a bit rowdy.

More genteel festive entertainment included monks touring and performing plays in private residences, which told key episodes from the Bible, especially, of course, seasonal topics such as the Massacre of the Innocents by Herod.

Similarly, in cities, medieval guilds put on public pageants where wagons went through the streets carrying people dressed as personalities from the Bible's Christmas story.

Troupes of masked pantomime artists known as mummers went through the streets, too, accompanied by bands of musicians.

Sometimes numbering over 100 revellers, they dressed in outlandish costumes as lords, cardinals and knights, and even ventured into people's homes to dance and play dice.

Receiving food and drink in return for their entertainment, mummers often performed short plays with scenes from familiar legends such as Saint George and the dragon.

There were games like cards and dice (which included a bit of gambling) and board games such as chess, checkers, backgammon and Nine Men's Morris.

Traditional Christmas games included the 'king of the bean,' which permitted the person who found a hidden bean in the bread or a special cake to be 'king' or 'queen' of the feast.

That honoured person then had the right to lord it over everyone else who often had to mimic whatever action the king or queen did at the table.

The game was traditionally played on Twelfth Night and was an example of the tried-and-tested role-reversal hilarity, which went back to Rome's pagan December festival of Saturnalia.

Christmas meals were followed by more drinking of wine or beer, singing of songs, including carols, and group dancing to music from pipes, flutes, lutes and drums.

Professional acrobats and jongleurs (minstrels) performed their tricks and witty verses.

Folktales were told, embellished and re-told every year, puppet shows were put on, and people played parlour games, many of which survive today such as blind man's buff and prisoner's base.

Another such game involved one member of the party being dressed as a saint while everyone else had to make them an offering (no doubt, an amusing one), which they had to do without smiling and resisting the antics of the saint or else they themselves became the saint.

Another game was 'The King Who Does Not Lie' when the 'king of the feast' might ask a question to any guest who, if they answered truthfully, could ask a question in return.

Such games were, of course, a chance to show one's wit and skill at wordplay, to embarrass a friend or to find out a sweetheart's inclinations.

For the more energetic, there were sports such as feats of strength, archery, wrestling, bowling, hockey, and medieval football where the goal was to move the ball to a predetermined destination and there were few, if any, rules.

Sliding on frozen lakes was a popular activity in winter, too.

Alternatively, by strapping the shin bones of a horse to the feet and grabbing a pole for propulsion, the courageous could try ice skating.

The End of the Holiday

Christmas through the ages has witnessed festive fun and frolics, and so, inevitably, the return to ordinary working life must have been something of a shock in the medieval period after this longest of holidays.

However, even then peasants made a celebratory game of the proceedings by, for example, holding a plough race at sunrise on the first Monday after Epiphany, known as Plough Monday.

There was another tradition, perhaps again to lighten the burden of returning to the daily toil, on 7th January, also known as Saint Distaff's Day.

This day was “a day of carnival, an occasion for 'misrule,' for 'comic battles between the sexes' in which men set fire to women's flax and women made sure men got soaked” (Leyser, 225).

#Medieval Christmas #Christmas #holly #mistletoe #Christmas Tree #medieval times #troping #Feast of the Holy Innocents #Childermas #Feast of the Circumcision #Feast of Fools #first-footing #Boxing Day #Twelfth Night #Plough Monday #Saint Distaff's Day

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gemsofgreece · 1 year

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How did the Ancient Greeks and the Byzantines each celebrated Christmas? (Or winter in general 😅)

Christmas started being celebrated on December 25th in Rome in 336. The Roman Empire split for good in 395 so I am just gonna go with how the Byzantines celebrated Christmas. Not many surviving sources remain but I found on Quora the answer of Eleftherios Tserkezis, who apparently has a master's degree in Byzantine history, so I am essentially giving you his answer as I doubt there is more informative souce easily available.

Quoting parts from Eleftherios Tserkezis's answer on Quora:

"Christmas was always a major feast. The church of Constantinople originally put it on par with Easter and Epiphany, and later counted it among the twelve great feasts after Easter. Various liturgical elements proved its prominence — 40 days of preparatory fast (though less strict than the Great Lent), vigils, a pre-feast period longer than any other etc. Hymns and sermons focused on the meaning of Christmas for salvation and the paradox of the incarnation. According to a 12th c. source, Christmas mangers were sometimes set up inside churches with real boys playing the role of Jesus, although conservatives disapproved.

Things on the street were more colourful and vibrant. Roads and houses were cleaned and decorated with rosemary and myrtle. Children, and sometimes adults too, would go from door to door playing the flute and pipe, and singing Christmas, New Year and Epiphany carols. Those were folk songs, quite different from the solemn, high-minded church hymns, but not without their own taste and value. They often included lines in praise of, and containing wishes about, the families they were sung to. The singers expected treats or some other form of payment and wouldn’t leave without receiving it. Sometimes, the singing continued until the evening or night.

Sources also attest to secular, even dissolute celebrations. The twelve days between Christmas and Epiphany were a chance for relax after the fast. Teases and pranks were common. Some people would wear costumes and roam the streets having fun, as if it were the carnival. Their disguises were often provocative — nuns, monks, animals or satyrs. Mockery of institutions such as the emperor or church was not uncommon in Byzantium, and the authorities themselves were particularly lax on holidays. Chariot races were also held on Christmas day, usually in the emperor’s presence. The church didn’t condone any of that, but couldn’t do much.

The menu of the day included meat, which could be beef, goat, hare, bird etc. The winter pig was also slaughtered around Christmas, depending on the exact local tradition. In the middle Byzantine period, on December 26, the Byzantines prepared and gave each other a syrupy delicacy known as lochozema. Made of flour, semolina, honey, herbs, sesame, nuts and cinnamon*, it was normally offered as energy booster to women who had just given birth. Its association with Christmas is obvious, although the church stressed that the Virgin Mary didn’t go through regular puerperium. People need to feel familiarity with the divine.

Christmas was also important for the imperial ceremonial. According to Constantine VII’s De cerimoniis (10th c.), the emperor went in solemn procession from the palace to Hagia Sophia, where he joined the patriarch and attended the divine liturgy. All the way, he heard acclamations, wishes and stereotypical verses about Jesus’ incarnation from the people and chariot racing factions. Later, there were official receptions and a banquet at the Hall of Nineteen Couches, attended by officials and foreign emissaries. Christmas was considered a good opportunity for promotions and the official coronation of new emperors, which couldn’t take place on any day.

Not even Muslims were excluded from the banquet, and extra care was given so as not to serve them pork.

PS: A lot of the above sound quite familiar to modern Greeks, especially those living in the countryside — archaistic carols, carnival-esque acts, the slaughter of pigs."

The adoration of the magi, the second major iconographic type of the nativity in the post-6th c. period.

I used bold text for the customs that are still the norm in Greece, the ones Tserkezis mentions to be familiar. Perhaps several of them are also preserved in other Christian Orthodox countries but I can't speak on their behalf with certainty.

*Although lochozema is not a thing nowadays, the traditional Christmas delicacies like Melomakarona share the same ingredients in their majority.

I am giving you the link to his full answer in which there is also information about when major cities of the east adopted the December 25th as the celebration of the Birth of Jesus, Byzantine hymns translated to English and then the personal testimonies of two visitors participating in the imperial Christmas feast, that of Liutprand of Cremona and Yarun ibn Yahya (both from the 10th century). He provides also more iconography and modern recordings of Byzantine Christmas hymns although unfortunately those links didn't work for me.

#christmas #byzantine empire #eastern roman empire #culture #traditions #byzantine history #greek culture #christianity #christian orthodox #anon #ask

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mungdou · 2 years

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EATING LUNCH WITH THEM: KARASUNO EDITION

FT. daichi, sugawara, asahi, nishinoya, tanaka, kageyama, hinata, tsukishima, yamaguchi, kiyoko, yachi, keishin, takeda.

W. none!

PRN. it's all gender neutral!

AN. first fanfic on this account haha, i hope you enjoy :3

DAICHI

He tends to eat a lot, so make sure to add some extra bites in your lunch for him to snack on! But besides that, he will feed you like a baby, might try the whole 'brrr here comes the airplane' bit and everything as a joke, but will always make sure to say "ahhhh" when he feeds you. Although he is one person, he brings like, a small-family sized meal for lunch, mostly containing protein and a meat stuffed onigiri(pfft no it's actually a jelly donut!) But to put the cherry on top, he will share his food with you every day. You want a bite of his soy-glazed pork katsu? You can have two slices. Do the mung bean noodles look super tasty right now? Take the container, he won't miss it too much.

SUGAWARA

He really loves watching you eat. He's definitely the type to gaze into your eyes as you munch on your lunch, poking and prodding aimlessly at his own food as he watches you in a dazed state. It takes a couple tries to get him out of the state, but the battles not over yet because he's freaking out with embarrassment and blushing like crazy. He definitely likes it when you feed him to shut him up though, and he's one to savor the bite so he's groaning as he takes in all the flavors. He'll have a bit of rice stuck to the corner, so feel free to lean over the desk and kiss him there to remove it. While he eats, he tells you about what happened at club yesterday and gets so carried away he forgets to finish his lunch.

ASAHI

When he's with you, especially after being with you for a while, he's much calmer and less flustered. He's scared of looking intimidating whilst he eats, as he is hovering over the table with his larger physique. If your classmates didn't know better, they'd think he was picking on you. When he eats, he tends to stare into the food, concentrating as to not make a mess because he can be a bit clumsy at times. He'll strike up a conversation about class and things he's been up to, and if he gets carried away, he'll get very flustered, so you'll have to take his hands into yours to calm him down. He probably eats about twice more than the average person, but he shares it with you each time.

NISHINOYA

He's so hyper. He definitely eats just as much as Daichi and Asahi, but he saves room for his soda pops after practice. He'll probably bring a steamed bun from the local convenience store, but will steal about half your lunch. He'll make it up by buying you an ice cream, though. A lot of your lunch period is spent running around through the back of the school, him probably chasing you around with the goal to try and hug you, and he'll probably win. He'll show you his new receiving techniques if he has any, but after a while, he'll slow down and relax, sitting with you against the outside walls of the school building as he fiddles with your hair.

TANAKA

He will not bring lunch- or rather, he'll forget to bring it, so he'll ask you for some of your food. He's not complaining though, your food is so tasty he does it on purpose sometimes. However, if it's not on purpose, there are two options on what will happen: one, he eats your food, then goes out to get something to hold him over(of course, sharing with you) or two, Saeko speeds over and interrupts his english class to deliver his abandoned bento box. Either way, he's ok with it, even though he might be very flustered after the second. He likes it when you tease him, it gets him riled up. You come up with new ways after he figures out how to best the "I'm feeding you but I'm going to turn the food away at the last second" trick to keep him on his toes. Sometimes, you guys make a mess of yourselves and get in trouble, but it's so worth it if you had fun making said mess.

KAGEYAMA

He doesn't really eat lunch during school days. He's afraid that if he eats, he won't be in the best condition for practice. You worry about him a lot, even if it isn't much to worry about, but that's ok, because he totally listens to you no matter what. If you think he looks a bit winded, you will run out to grab him a milk and a steamed pork bun to keep him going, because it's never good to be underfed, even if it's for milk. You end up helping him find a good balance for his diet so that he can perform at his peak, and he has you to thank for his newfound stamina. He'll return the favor by buying you a treat or a bun after you stay after school until he ended practice. (He totally holds your hand on the way to the store looking like a tomato)

HINATA

Hinata eats, like, so much that you have to question if he has ever eaten as much as he weighs because he will totally do that. He's also pretty clumsy, so he tends to grab Natsu's lunch instead of his own when he's in a rush(probably because her lunch is wrapped in his old bento cloth). When he eats with you though, he's scarfing down food while speaking, chewing every so often. He'll talk about things like this: "and so *chew* I go BWAM and the ball flies down and goes BAP against the floor *chew chew* and Noya senpai runs and does the rolling thunder like ZOOM *swallows*" Hinata chokes often because of his habit of talking while eating, so keep some water by you just in case. He's unrefined, but you love that about him because he really doesn't have a care in the world when he's with you. At some point you have to teach him to swallow before talking, but for now, let him be a kid :)

TSUKISHIMA

Man does not eat with you unless you come over to eat with him. He appreciates it, but he thinks that coming to your classroom makes him look like a puppy and he has a sort of personality that he has to uphold. You don't mind, though, you know he has his reasons, and he does actually like it when you eat with him. He'll tease you while you eat, pretending to feed you and snatching the food right away(he totally brings dino nuggets every once in a while). You bring out the best in him, and the whole class can see it when he beams a genuine smile when you lunge at his food to get your revenge. Yamaguchi sits with you guys during lunch and you all talk about your days, though Tsukishima probably has his headphones on. Fortunately, out of respect for you, he only covers one ear so that he can hear your rambles about your english quiz.

YAMAGUCHI

HE IS LOYAL. HE WILL COME AS SOON AS THE BELL RINGS TO PLOP DOWN IN THE SEAT IN FRONT OF YOU. That being said, he is kind of timid so he peeks through the classroom door to make sure enough people have cleared out so that the room isn't too crowded. You two have this unspoken agreement who's going to who's classroom(you alternate) and whoever is moving goes gets a drink for the two of you, sometimes to share. If you come over, he likes to get up and get your chair for you. He'll pull it out so you can sit down, and push you back in. He'll talk about his jump float practice, and you'll talk about some random fact about your day. If you're in his room, you'll probably tease Tsukishima for being a loner type while Yamaguchi stifles his laughs. If he's in you're room, he'll speak much softer because he doesn't want to disturb anyone he doesn't know too well.

KIYOKO

You guys have a bench outside to yourselves as you eat. She eats very elegantly and offers you her food when she gets the chance. She'll talk fondly about the volleyball boys and how good Yachi has become as manager. You definitely watch her as she talks, how could you not, she's mesmerizing! Noya and Tanaka are definitely respectfully watching y'all behind a nearby structure. Sometimes during lunch, she's busy doing club stuff, but that's ok because you pop in once in a while to see if she's taking care of herself.

YACHI

Oh she's so flustered at the beginning of the relationship. She loves you, don't get her wrong, but she's constantly worrying if she's doing something wrong(ie. eating with her mouth open, choking). You reassure her for a while, but after she gets used to it, she becomes much more comfortable eating around you. She'll share her food which is really pretty/cute 85% of the time. She gets super flustered if you try to feed her, but she when she tries to feed you she'll be ecstatic, high even. She'll bring a small snack for you to share and soon you reciprocate the gesture, so lunch time is a guaranteed fun and relaxing time.

KEISHIN

He does not eat with you, or rather, he'd much rather watch you eat while he smokes his cigarette. If he takes this route, this will be the series of events: he smokes, you eat, you scold him for smoking more than twice within the hour, he groans and stifles the cigarette and joins you for lunch, he leans in to kiss you, you kiss, you make an exaggerated face at the way he tastes. If he joins you off the bat, he sits right next to you and makes it impossible to eat with him. He loves you though, so he will end up releasing you... only to steal your food. You have to chase him around the store for him to give it back, but once he does, he'll steal a kiss and wrap you in his strong arms, pressing his lips against your hair.

TAKEDA

THIS MAN. IS SO CUTE. So he doesn't always have time to eat with you, being a teacher and all, but when he does, he will literally prepare you a full meal. His nose will be buried in a cookbook trying to cook 5 things at once. When you find him, you grin and run up to him and hug him from behind. He'll be startled, so announce yourself please. You end up helping him with his meal prep and setting the table. When you eat, he'll gush about the volleyball team and his students that have grown in the past couple months. He loves talking to you so much that he will forget to eat for a couple minutes. Sometimes, he'll surprise you with a larger than life picnic basket, rushing you out of the house to take you out to the local park on a cute picnic date.

haikyuu masterlist || karasuno masterlist

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