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primehyuck · 8 months

Text

MOVES

aka good things take time (the happy ending version)

word count: 11.3k

i first started writing this because i’ve been listening to the song Moves by Suki Waterhouse on repeat, but it became much more than that

contents: long time best friend!haechan, slice of life, pining and yearning, chronological time jumps (mostly college and young adulthood), other members mentioned (Mark and Jeno!roommates), kissing, fluff, wet dreams, a good example of two people who seriously need to communicate, face sitting, morning sex, lots of pet names

“Do you think we’ll be friends for a long time?” Haechan’s soft voice distracts your attempt to focus on a blade of the blurry ceiling fan, unable to keep you cool despite it spinning so fast you think it might fly away.

“How do you mean?” the bed squeaks when Haechan sits up to lean over you.

“Growing up, I feel like my parents didn’t have many friends aside from each other. My mom told me that it’s because when you get older your priorities change and you realize who adds value to your life, and that’s who you decide to keep.” His eyes are glowing with sincerity, body blocking the flow of air from touching you at all “so when we’re older, and married with kids and other priorities, and we maybe live in different cities, do you think we’ll still be friends?”

You stare at him for a moment before shoving his face out of the way of the fans air stream.

“Definitely,” your confidence soothes him enough that he lays back down “if I ever muster up the creativity to come up with a reason to stop being your friend, you have to swear you’ll tell me how stupid I’m being, swear to me.” you smack his chest before he can even answer.

“I swear!” He smiles to himself, staring up at the ceiling with you, rubbing his hand over the warm spot where your hand made contact, melting into the mattress.

———

Growing up people always joked that Haechan and you would fall in love, that it was inevitable, practical even. Because, if you fall in love with your best friend you’ve already conquered one of the highest mountains - finding someone that you like, and who likes you back.

You had both seen the other in a relationship, an inevitability when you’ve been friends with someone since puberty. He’d cheered you on when you had your first kiss during a game of spin the bottle in high school, forced you to come out on double dates with him and a friend of his you didn’t even like just so he could take someone else out, and freshman year of college he’d even introduced you to the person you'd lost your virginity to.

The only time he cockblocked you was when you tried to get to know any of his friends more than platonically, so eventually you gave up and settled for real friendship with all of them.

“Trust me, you don’t want to touch him with a six foot pole.” He’d said freshman year when you had mentioned your attraction to his roommate, Mark.

“He seems so nice, though.” you pouted

“He is nice, but that doesn’t mean you want to be with him.”

“How would you know what I want?” you scoffed, and he looked at you like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Has the wind beneath my wings ever led you into the wrong arms?” He was highly animated, offended that you would question his judgment.

By the start of sophomore year it was obvious to everyone else that you were strictly off limits. All of his friends had decided unanimously that even if you did attempt anything with them they had no choice but to shut you down. The cold stare Haechan unknowingly serves them from across the room whenever they got too close was enough to keep them away. None of the boys ever minded the boundaries with you, there always was an ease in your friendship since they all knew it could never go further, but that didn’t mean they never thought about the possibility.

One night, at the end of junior year, Haechan is nowhere to be found at his own party and you graciously accept Jeno’s invitation upstairs when you complain of a headache, “we can play Mario Kart, and it won’t be all competitive like when Haechan plays with us.”

It starts like normal, and you're having fun when you realize that your tipsy brain can’t focus on the screen and the conversation simultaneously, opting for the latter as you relax into Jeno’s pillows. You don’t even notice him inching closer to you until his nose touches yours, tugging at a strand of your hair. This is the first time any of Haechan’s friends have shown interest in you, you’d never even been on the receiving end of a flirtatious stare from across the beer pong table, so you take the reins.

Kissing Jeno feels a little bit like winning, like you’ve finally made it past the invisible forcefield Haechan had put up around his friends. The kiss is lazy and hot, Jeno props himself up on one elbow and presses your back into the mattress with his chest. Your eager fingers run beneath his shirt, his abs tightening when you trail them over his sides. Your spine tingles when he groans into your mouth, the hand on your cheek moving to grip your knee and hike your leg over his hip. His hand holds strong around your thigh, and you sigh when he grinds into you.

Jeno pulls away too soon, stopping your hands reaching for the hem of his shirt with a pained sigh as he drops your leg to roll onto his back, flinging an arm over his eyes.

“Fuck, I should not be doing this with you.”

“Why, you don’t want to?” You want to curl into yourself, sitting up to stare down at his shaking head.

“No, definitely not that.” he pulls his arm away to meet your eyes, the alcohol in his veins making him brave enough to admit “Haechan would be pissed.”

“Haechan?” you question “did he say something to you?” Jeno groans, sitting up and hooking his elbows around his knees, staring at the mattress between his legs.

“No, no. He’s never actually said anything,” he knows he’s revealing too much, but he also knows he’s gone too far to stop “we just know he would never want us to cross that line with you.”

“We?” you can feel embarrassment bubbling in your chest at the idea of all of your friends talking about this.

“Yeah, you know, all the guys. We figured you were just off limits, I don’t know.” he grimaces, looking up at you with apologetic eyes when you don’t respond. You huff and climb off the bed, feeling rejected in more ways than one.

You’d crossed a boundary tonight, but Jeno was still a close friend, someone you’d spent a lot of time with since he met Haechan freshman year. He still knows you, so he grabs your wrist before you can leave, shifting to sit on the edge of the bed so he can stand you between his legs.

“I’m sorry, don’t be mad.” He envelops your hands in his and brings them to his chest.

“I’m not mad,” you mumble, avoiding his apologetic gaze “I’m embarrassed that all of my friends agreed not to touch me.”

“Did you really think not a single one of us was ever interested in you?” you shrug and he squeezes your hands tighter, heart tugging in his chest.

“When people don’t act interested, that’s usually a safe assumption.” you pout and Jeno’s laugh buzzes through your linked fingers "I gave up on all of you halfway through freshman year."

“Well, some of us are better actors than I remember.”

He has you laughing by the time you leave his room, sealing the night with one more self indulgent kiss and a pinky swear to never tell Haechan about what happened.

———

Halfway through the first semester of senior year Haechan bangs angrily on his roommates door before swinging it open and Jeno is genuinely shocked that it's taken this long for the gossip to hit his ears. The rest of the boys had clocked Jeno the next morning for being ‘too happy’ and he had to make them all swear not to tell, wanting to protect your pride and his own friendship with Haechan.

"You slut!" Haechan points an accusatory finger in Jeno's direction, dragging his feet slowly toward him until he's so close Jeno has to bat his hand out of his face.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about." Haechan's voice is low and angry, something new and unpleasant sparking in his gut at the idea of Jeno kissing you, touching you.

"No, I don't." Jeno can’t help but antagonize. Pleased with the perfect opportunity to trick Haechan into saying out loud what everyone else seems to have known for years.

"You kissed my best friend!" He shrieks, tossing his hands up in the air dramatically.

"So what, she's not allowed to kiss people?" Haechan squints his eyes at Jeno’s response, scrunching his nose in annoyance “how did you even find out?”

"She can kiss whoever she wants, it's all of you that aren't allowed to kiss her." Haechan waves his hand wildly toward the bedroom door, alluding to the large group of boys living in the house “you know Mark can’t keep a secret, he’s been bursting at the seams for months. All I had to do was ask.”

"It happened forever ago dude, why are you so pissed? You've never even given us a chance to get close to her in that way, maybe one of us could really like her." Jeno reasons, tugging at Haechan's strings, watching the gears in his brain turn as he tries to come up with a real argument.

"She has a boyfriend," Haechan finally says with a frown at the thought of the guy he’d only recently met, he doesn’t like him at all. From his stupid hair to the shoes he wears, there’s not a thing about your new boyfriend that Haechan thinks is good enough for you. He collapses into the gaming chair across from where Jeno is relaxed on the couch, not having moved at all since Haechan stormed in "plus, I think any of you would know by now, you've all known her for four years."

"I think, that it can take a lot longer than four years to realize how much you like someone." Jeno bites, "how long have you known her?"

"Since middle school." He picks at the hole in the knee of his black jeans, realizing what Jeno is alluding to, defensive exterior quickly crumbling.

"Right, I think that if you're blind enough then it can take ten years to realize how much you like someone."

"Well, maybe ten years is too long and that person missed their chance." Haechan turns his head to stare out the window, anxiously spinning the chair side to side.

"You know I'm talking about you, right?"

"God, yes, I know you're talking about me." Haechan glares at his friend, fidgeting stopping abruptly "and I know I've been a complete idiot about it, but like I said, I’m out of time."

———

Haechan can’t stop his free hand from clenching and unclenching as you sob into your pillow, his less angry hand rubbing over your back.

“He told me he saw us moving in together after graduation,” your voice shakes “how do you look someone in the eyes and say shit like that and then sleep with someone else?”

“I don’t know,” Haechan replies earnestly, feeling as helpful as flip flops in the snow from where he sits on the edge of your mattress “I’m so sorry.”

He takes your silence as an invitation, lying on his stomach, face turned toward you, fingers still drawing soothing circles over your shoulder blades. He waits patiently for you to calm down, unease swarming his stomach knowing that even after years of friendship he can’t truly comfort you in this moment.

“I’m so embarrassed.” you sniffle, smearing your face over your pillow before turning to look at him. He holds his breath, waiting for you to collect yourself enough to explain.

“I’m so gullible, he even told me he’s cheated in the past and for whatever reason I believed that he’d treat me differently, that he’d love me enough.” Haechan has to count to five in his head to stay calm before he speaks.

“You have no reason to be embarrassed. The most natural thing you can do is believe someone when they say they love you.” He murmurs, turning onto his side so he can pull you into a hug. When you curl into his body to bury your face in his chest he can only pray you can’t hear his heart pound against his ribs.

“He’s an idiot, and he didn’t deserve any of the love you gave him. I promise, you’re so much better off.”

Haechan hates the piece of himself that’s relieved your relationship has ended. The same piece that hated your ex the minute he met him, that feels heavy in your absence whenever you’re busy with anyone who isn’t him. The piece that crosses it’s fingers whenever you get this close in hopes that you’ll be the first one to cross the line, to finally do what he’s thought about doing for the last few months since he realized exactly how he felt about you.

“Thank you,” you mumble into his tear dampened shirt, lifting your leg over his to cuddle in even closer “thanks for always being my friend, even when I do dumb shit, like let boys be mean to me.”

He nuzzles his nose into your scalp, eyes fluttering shut at the smell of your shampoo “Thanks for letting me. Besides, even Beyoncé got cheated on, so you clearly aren’t that dumb.” the crowd in his brain cheers when you giggle into his chest.

“You’re so annoying.” He holds you even tighter.

———

“I can’t believe it,” your jaw drops and Haechan whips his head up nervously to look at you from across the couch

“What happened?”

“I got it, I got the job!” you shove his feet off your lap to jump up excitedly, bouncing on your toes as you read the email out loud. Haechan’s ears are ringing so loud he barely catches the first half, trying to shake off the dazed look he’s sure appears on his face.

“We were extremely impressed with your resume and even more so with the impression you left on the board during your interview, blah blah blah, excited to offer you this position, blah blah blah, and a relocation bonus to join us in in our new office!” the pitch of your voice rises a few octaves as you finish reading.

Haechan stares at you from his spot on the couch, eyes wide with shock that you’re too excited to notice, skimming your screen as you re-read the details in your offer letter.

His entire body is buzzing, torn between feeling excited at your accomplishment and sorry for himself.

He had a plan, a really good one, he thought. After your breakup you’d made it painfully clear that you wanted to be single for a while, and he knew if he could just be patient, it would all be worth it. So Haechan decided to bottle his feelings up, sitting patiently by your side where he had been for so many years, waiting for you to heal and hoping that when you were finally ready to start dating again he’d have mustered up the courage to make the first move.

“Lee Donghyuck, are you even listening to me!?” you drop your phone to pull him up off the couch, bouncing up and down with your fingers intertwined “I’m moving to my dream city, to start my dream job.” you reiterate and he snaps out of it, sweeping the imaginary shards of glass that his plan had been made out of under the rug and pulling you into a hug.

“That’s amazing, I’m so proud of you.”

“Your enthusiasm is overwhelming.” You deadpan, but squeeze him back just as tight.

“I’m sorry, I’m going to miss you is all.” He admits, "I'd follow you if my job didn't keep me here."

“I’ll make sure you don’t miss me too much, don’t worry.” you plant your cheek on his chest, surprised at the relief you feel in hearing him say it first.

———

This feeling was still a little unfamiliar, nerves. Haechan had never made you nervous growing up; excited, annoyed, passionate maybe, but never nervous.

The nerves began last summer, when he’d come out to visit you for the first time to celebrate his birthday. It was the longest you’d gone without seeing each other since you’d met, almost ten full months and the anticipation was palpable.

When he steps through the airport doors you think that it’s the relief of finally being near him again that knocks the wind out of you. Running into his open arms and being squeezed so tightly in them that you tap his shoulder to let you breathe. Ruffling his hair when he steps back and ignoring the fact that he had grown so much since you’d seen him last.

But as the night goes on, the slight changes to the person you have memorized become glaringly obvious. The way his cheeks have lost some of their cushion, revealing a sharp jaw and pointed cheekbones. The natural wave in his once unruly hair now falling perfectly over his brow bone, he had dyed it a little darker which made his tan skin glow even in dim lighting. Even his smell seemed to draw you into a trance, a much more expensive version of the Haechan you know.

“You know, that group of girls has been staring over at you since we walked in.” You raise your eyebrows playfully, pointing your glass toward the pretty gaggle that keeps walking past the booth you and Haechan occupy.

He doesn’t break eye contact with you before shrugging, “I didn’t come here to see them, I came to see you.” he smiles, punctuating his thought by reaching over the table and tapping your nose.

“I know, I know,” you laugh, batting him away “It never hurts to know when people are staring, though”

His face is unreadable as he rests his arm lazily up over the bench of the booth, body sinking into the seat while he lifts his glass to swirl his drink, biting the words that have been resting on the tip of his tongue the entire trip, and at the end of every phone call since you started your new job.

“How are you, seriously.” You push. In the time since you moved he’d started and ended a relationship with a girl that you’d never met. Your new job kept you so busy that you hadn’t even learned about the breakup until a week later, when you finally had the time to call him back. The guilt of your absence weighs you down, resenting your inability to be there for him the way he had been for you in the past.

“I’m over it, seriously.” You know he’s telling the truth, but it’s in your nature to pry.

“You never really talked about, why, you know.”

“Do I have to?”

“No, I’m sorry, I just feel so behind on your life.” You sigh and push your empty glass to the side, swirling your finger in the ring of cold water it leaves behind.

“It’s okay, really. You’ve been busy, I understand.” He reaches across the table to stop your anxious fingers “I didn’t love her the way I knew I should, that’s all. It’s a good thing that it ended, and I’m happy that it did.”

“That’s all that matters, then.” and he’s grateful that you drop the subject.

You eventually get back to your apartment, both giggly and flush from the alcohol still fogging your brain despite the long walk you'd hoped would lessen it. Haechan holds your hand the whole way back, even when he stops suddenly to pet a dog, dragging you down to the ground with him. He can’t help himself, grateful that at this point you'd touched one another in every way other than what he dreams about most, and you seem oblivious to his need to be so close to you.

As you get ready for bed he lets himself watch you undress facing the wall away from him, unaware of his gaze burning into your backside and the way his fingers tingle at the thought of pulling at the meat of your hips. He scolds his heart for thudding so loud when you squeeze your eyes into a smile at his reflection standing next to yours at the sink while you brush your teeth, the domestication of your friendship that he used to appreciate now suffocating him.

You put on a movie and invite him to rest his head on the pillow in your lap, wishing he could bury his nose into the skin of your thighs beneath it. Halfway through the movie he has to sit up to hide the way his cock is hardening at the feeling of your nails combing through his hair and down his shoulder, occasionally thrumming over his chest. He pulls a blanket off the back of the couch and tosses it over his legs as casually as possible, pulling you into his side by your shoulder, the other arm stretched across the back of the couch.

"Are you cold for the first time in your life?" Haechan never wants to use a blanket, but you’re grateful for the position giving you access to bury your face into his chest, gripping his shirt.

"No, just want to be warmer." he presses a blushing cheek onto the top of your head, trying to think of anything except the way your hair smells, or the feeling of the side of your breast brushing his wrist through your shirt. Haechan feels eighteen again and like he's discovering the connection between romantic and sexual feelings for the first time in his life. He tries to match his breathing to yours, holding his breath whenever you shift in his hold and reconnecting his stomach with your back as quickly as possible. The temptation to pour his heart out is overwhelming, but when he feels your body completely relax into his and your breathing slow down, the words become trapped in his throat, so he lets you sleep.

Haechan had never experienced a shorter 48 hours than that weekend he spent following you around the city you now call home.

You’re shining in your new space, and he happily trails behind you to all the places you’ve discovered in the almost year since you moved. His stomach does somersaults whenever you point something out that reminds you of him.

“I’ve been waiting to come here until you could come with me!” you're so excited to take him to the video game themed coffee shop that your co-workers had recommended “I thought about coming to see if it was even worth it, but I only want to play these kinds of games with you anyway.”

Sometimes he can forget about his feelings for you, when things are just as they always have been. You talk with and touch him the same, laugh at his jokes the same. He thinks that if he were to ever say out loud what he’s been feeling, that the two of you would still be the same but with a little More, ‘you guys’ but on steroids. So when everything is normal he can pretend like it‘a not. He can act like the More is there when you hold his hand to drag him around to the different machines, play games he wants to play even if you don’t want to, you even wipe ice cream off of his chin when his cone starts to melt because he’s talking too much to eat and he wonders why it took him so long to see it this way, and if you could too.

He keeps thinking the moment will come, when he’ll know spilling his guts to you is the right thing to do. But between you gushing over how much you love your new life and your willingness to point out every girl who has blinked at him this weekend, he completely loses the steam he’d gained during his flight, regardless of how his imagination runs wild with the More.

He curses himself the entire weekend for his lack of bravery, hoping that keeping his feelings in is the right decision. After his recent relationship crashed and burned because of his feelings for you he thought he had no choice but to come clean. But watching you, being with you in your new life makes him realize that his role in it hasn’t changed even if his feelings for you have.

The lump in his throat as he stands outside the departure doors is more than just sadness at the thought of leaving you, it’s the realization that he has to let the romantic idea of you go.

“How come you never cry when we have to leave each other,” you hiccup into his chest, and he coos your name lovingly.

“Don’t worry, you know I save my tears for the plane to make everyone in my row uncomfortable.” He knows that you hate that he’s making you laugh at a time like this, pulling away so you can swat his chest and he raises his hands in surrender.

“When will we be able to see each other again?”

“As soon as possible.” He nods reassuringly, wiping your tears with his thumb, heart pounding as he stares into your watering eyes “hey, you’re my best friend in the world, you annoy me every day, and I love you.”

“Whatever, I love you too.” you laugh, but his heart speeds up at the words that you’ve said to him thousands of times. You sweep your arms around him one last time before pushing him toward the airport doors “you better go, if you miss your flight I can’t guarantee I’ll let you leave at all.”

“Don’t tempt me.” He walks backwards slowly, staring at you with a ‘kicked puppy’ kind of face he mastered years ago and you wave enthusiastically, blowing loud kisses into the air that he catches and clutches to his heart.

“This is it,” he thinks, “this has to be it.”

———

Haechan is dreaming about you. He has been nightly ever since he got back from his birthday weekend. He’s grateful the dreams have variety, since some of them overwhelm him to the point of waking up and not being able to fall back asleep.

Sometimes, you’re young again and whenever anyone says “You know, it’s just a matter of time until one of you has a crush on the other.” you both theatrically gag, laughing at each other as if it were the most insane idea in the world. Or, you're sitting on his childhood couch watching your guys' favorite movie for the hundredth weekend in a row, vocalizing the parts of the two main characters and recreating all the best scenes.

Sometimes you’re at his apartment just hanging out together, which are dreams that feel so real he almost expects to see you in his kitchen when he wakes up. Most of these dreams spark a deja vu laced flame in his gut so deep he finds himself confusing them with memories. The ache of missing you wakes him up before his alarm some mornings, and he finds himself face timing you once he knows you're awake just to watch you make coffee and wash your face.

But sometimes, he has dreams that make him feel so ashamed he can barely text you back in the morning. Dreams where he reaches to touch you and you let him, where you tug at his hair and moan his name while he does all the things that he can only do to you in his sleep. He hates to say that these are his favorite, but it's the one dream he knows he'll never actually achieve and he goes to bed every night praying for them.

That’s the kind of dream he’s having when his phone buzzes him awake. He answers without looking because there are only a handful of people who can reach him when he’s on ‘do not disturb’, and you’re one of them. He hums a sleepy greeting into his phone, putting it on speaker next to his pillow and nearly drifting right back into the dream and between your thighs.

“Donghyuck” his eyes shoot open at the sound of your voice “did i wake you up?”

He can practically hear the pout in your voice, squinting at the time on his phone, “Yes, it’s three in the morning,” he stares down to where he’s half hard, running an embarrassed hand over his face even though there’s no possible way for you to know “are you okay?”

“No, well technically yes but I miss you which means things could be better.” you slur your words and Haechan smiles, somehow he's never annoyed that you call him pretty much every time you drink. He thinks it's because he's familiar with this version of you, though he definitely hasn't seen it often since college graduation. This version of you loves him hard, and is never afraid to say it.

"I miss you too," he takes a beat before adding "I was dreaming about you just now."

You gasp excitedly "Really! What were we doing." He smirks at the thought of telling you that you had been sitting on his face, hand reaching back for his cock while he guides your cunt over his tongue until you were shaking above him.

"Just, hanging out." he shrugs. It's his second time this week alone dreaming of your clit bumping his nose, and the thought makes his mouth water.

"I don't believe you." You say accusingly "that's way too boring for a mind like yours to dream up."

"What exactly is my mind like?" He yawns, throwing his forearm over his eyes.

"Oh, you know," you hum "your mind is a galaxy, with at least a billion planets and twice as many stars. I wish I could fly into your head and explore it, but NASA doesn't have the funds."

Haechan holds his breath at your compliment, the smile on his face so wide he can hear it in his own voice "That sounds like an episode of Magic School Bus."

"Your brain is definitely cooler than some cartoon, it's pretty much my favorite place on Earth."

"How would you know, you've never actually been inside?" He shakes his head, teasing you gently. Hearing words like these come out of your mouth breaks his heart and glues it back together at the same time.

"Are you saying you never think about me?" you ask him, not an ounce of sarcasm in your voice.

"I think about you all the time, I promise, all the planets in my brain are shaped like you." You hum, pleased with his response. He shuts his eyes and waits for your answer.

"Yeah, all the planets in mine are shaped like you, too." you pause for a second and add "plus all the stars, I win, I think about you more."

———

This time when Haechan comes to visit you, you know the nerves are more than just excitement at seeing your best friend. It’s a feeling that is nestled so deep in your stomach it makes you a little nauseous. You haven't seen him since you went home for the holidays and he only has one night in the city. You find yourself grueling over your reflection in the mirror, not used to being self conscious in front of him. You’re only going out for happy hour, but you put yourself together to last all night.

When Haechan finally arrives he whistles lowly, making you blush when he pulls out of your hug and requests a spin.

“I appreciate that you got so dressed up for me.” He teases, hoping you don’t catch his eyes sweeping over your legs, wanting to commit you in this dress to memory.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you roll your eyes as if you hadn’t spent the last two hours making sure you looked as perfect as possible. Hoping he doesn’t see the pile of clothes shoved into your closet from all the failed attempts.

“Never,” he grabs your purse off of the counter and opens the door, sweeping his arm out in front of him dramatically “after you. There are some strangers outside who are waiting to catch a glimpse of you, they just don’t know it yet.”

“You are so dramatic.” You lock the door behind you, using the moment facing away from him to collect yourself. Lately you catch yourself wondering if he'd always been so flirtatious, or if you're just forcing meaning behind his words because of how badly you want him to be.

“What, a guy can’t compliment his best friend?”

You smile widely at him and grab your bag out of his grasp, popping your key inside and walking toward the entrance of your building. Praying your fingers stop shaking when you finally get a drink in you. Haechan throws his arm around your shoulders while you walk down the street to your favorite cocktail bar and you're grateful for his usual chatter, talking to you about work and his slow climb up the ladder.

“They put me in a hotel this time, so you don’t have to worry about making me breakfast in the morning.” He smiles at you, sipping his drink gingerly.

“You know I never cook you breakfast.” He feels so far away across the table and you wish that you were sitting next to him instead, shoulders cold without the weight of his arm around them. It feels so good to have him touch you, to feel like you're his. There's a small part of you that feels guilty for using his knack for physical affection to your advantage, he has no idea what the heat of his skin on yours does.

“I know, but all the meetings are in the hotel anyway so it’s easier this time to just stay there.”

You try not to let yourself visibly deflate at the news, wanting to keep him for yourself the whole time he’s in town. His knee presses against yours under the table and you focus all your energy into acting the way you would have before, but you can’t focus on anything else and cross your legs to pull away from him as casually as possible. As badly as you want to touch him, sometimes you can’t.

“What time do you have to be up?”

He groans, leaning back enough that his knee now slides against your shin, “too early,” and glances down at his now empty glass, motioning to the bartender for another “which means you need to drink faster, so I can stop at a reasonable hour.”

You smile, downing the rest of your drink in one gulp, when his foot taps against yours you know it's going to be a long night.

The end of the night finds you together on your couch with a shared bottle of wine sitting empty on the coffee table, his early meetings temporarily forgotten. You and Haechan have been in this position plenty of times, drunk, slap happy and overly touchy in a way that you had always been comfortable being with one another. The difference now is you, this version of you who wants your best friend in an entirely different way.

Every time he pulls you closer you feel electricity shoot straight to your heart so intensely that you have to duck out of his grasp. You don’t know what to do with the feelings that have been growing gradually from your toes up, now practically sprouting out of your scalp with a neon sign blinking “I’m in love with you” over and over.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Haechan whines when you all but flinch away from his hand reaching for his phone near your arm. He’d been aware of it all night, the space you left between the two of you while you walked back from the bar, your sudden inability to maintain the eye contact that he craved. The complete lack of physical touch makes him feel dejected.

“Doing what?” You give him a panicked look, practically sober at the thought of being found out, of what it would feel like to be rejected by him.

“You’re not letting me touch you,” he frowns, and the alcohol buzzes through your veins again “not that you need to let me, but you only avoid it like this when you’re upset. Did I do something?” he pouts, tired eyes low when he flops his head onto his bicep resting on the back of the couch. You forget to breathe for a second when he looks up at you under dark lashes.

“I’m not upset. I wasn’t doing it on purpose.” you’re lying through your teeth, but scoot an inch closer to him to make your point. He doesn’t look convinced, and if you’d had less to drink you may have noticed the mischievous glint in his eye before he grabs you by your arm, knocking you off balance and into his chest.

“See,” he sighs happily, wrapping his arms around your body and you can feel his chest buzz when he hums, cheek pressed to the top of your head. You have no choice but to ungracefully shift your lower body closer to him, making yourself a sponge and soaking in his familiar touch “isn’t that better?”

You nod, “Yes, it is better.” and you really wish he didn’t know you so well, that even in his fifth hour of being drunk he can read your mind. He pulls your ear off his heart to grab your cheeks, smushing them together and whispering your name with a shake of his head.

“What is it?” he urges, and you wrap your fingers around his wrist to loosen his grip. You shut your eyes, take a deep breath and count to three in your head before you can talk yourself out of leaning forward and pressing your lips to his.

You feel him falter for a half second before he’s kissing you back, pulling your face closer and pushing his body toward yours. You can’t hear anything over the blood rushing in your ears when his tongue touches yours, and then suddenly his mouth is gone. He moves so quick you have to put your arms out to stop yourself from face planting into the cushion he had just been sitting on.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” you gasp “i shouldn’t have done that, Haechan, I’m so sorry.”

It takes everything in you to look up to where he’s now standing with his arms crossed over his chest protectively. You have no idea what he’s thinking, staring down at you with wide eyes. Insecurity sweeps through you under his intense gaze, and you almost beg him to say something.

“I’m seeing someone,” the way the confession rings in your ears would have you believing that he screamed the words, but his voice was barely above a whisper “shit, I’m sorry.”

You aren’t sure if it’s your life that flashes before your eyes, or your years of friendship with him, at this point the two tend to blur together.

“That’s-” you sit back on your calves and inhale shakily, knowing it’s not even worth it to attempt to fake any sort of excitement for him “why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugs, swallowing thickly and pulling his eyes away from your face to stare at the ceiling “It’s new and I didn’t know how. It just never came up.”

“Well then, I’m sorry that it didn’t. I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t know what came over me.” grateful that he’s finally the one avoiding eye contact with you so he doesn’t see your legs wobble when you stand “probably best to pretend that never happened. I’m just drunk and I missed you-”

Your name sounds so pathetic when he says it this time and you think it’s the eighth wonder of the natural world that you haven’t started crying yet. You shake your head instead, wishing so desperately that you had changed out of the dress you were wearing as you pull the slinky material down your thighs.

“Honestly, Haechan,” You regret your next words before they even hit the air “you should probably go. You have an early morning.”

The shock on his face pains you, but you can’t stand to see what you can only assume is pity growing in his eyes for another second.

“I don’t want to go, I want to talk about this.”

“I’m sorry.” you say again and his shoulders slump in defeat, recognizing that you’d made up your mind.

“It’s okay.” He means it, shuffling forward and the look on your face is nearly enough to bring him to his knees. His breath catches when you shift away the inch he moved toward you, eyes locked on his and he can see the desperation in them before he hears it in your voice.

“Text me when you get to the hotel?” your voice cracks with a heavy mix of exhaustion and embarrassment that makes him nods once, grabbing his things and walking slowly toward your door. He turns to look at you, but his words catch in his throat when he sees your eyes begin to water, mustering up all his energy to offer what he prays is a reassuring smile before letting himself out.

You sink back into the couch when the door clicks shut, head hanging in your hands as the tears finally start to flow. You cry so hard you feel like you could throw up, replaying his rejection over and over in your mind, shame and regret coursing through your veins. Pure embarrassment heats your body at the look on his face when he told you he was seeing someone, and you’re not sure if it was disgust or pity in his eyes.

On top of the rejection, knowing that he didn’t feel like he could share something as big as meeting someone with you was a dagger to the heart, up until recently you had never kept a secret from him, and even this one you clearly couldn’t keep in for long.

You force yourself into the shower, scrubbing angrily at your skin under the scalding water. You get out once your fingers have pruned and your skin feels raw, avoiding the mirror on your way to your bedroom. You kick angrily at the dress you'd left on the floor, watching it land near the pile of outfits you had discarded while getting ready.

Haechan had texted you nearly thirty minutes earlier

“made it back”

you give it a thumbs up before turning your phone off, setting an alarm with the clock on your side table and letting the emotional exhaustion lull you to sleep.

------

Haechan is realizing that there is no way in hell that you need space more than he needs to talk to you. He tries to call you multiple times the first week after you kissed him but you never answered, and Haechan doesn’t want to push you to the point of no return. What he really wants is to go back in time and not leave you that night, but the pain in your eyes was so pronounced he couldn't bare to make it any worse. The only physical proof that you had kissed him at all being the stupid blue thumbs up on the text he had sent you that night. It's followed by a slew of reassuring texts, saying that he broke up with his girlfriend and if you would please just talk to him, that he's not mad.

This is the feeling he carries with him nearly two weeks later on the flight to you, when he’s sure that another minute of silence from you will kill him. By the time he gets to your apartment it’s almost midnight, so he knocks loud enough to wake you up.

When you open the door in a shirt he thinks might be his, Haechan knows he has no choice. He's speaking before you can say anything, before he can change his mind.

"I came here to tell you that I think you're being really stupid." He curses internally for the obvious nerves in his voice, your tired eyes widen with shock at his words.

"Excuse me?"

"Years ago you made me swear that I would tell you if you ever came up with a reason not to be my friend anymore. So I'm telling you now, I think you're being really fucking stupid."

"I'm not doing that" You defend yourself, tearing up at the sight of him. He pushes into your apartment, shutting the door behind him and standing close enough to touch. He’s staring you down with pleading eyes, and you bury your face in your hands so you don’t have to look at him.

“Then why are you ignoring me? Why won’t you let me fix this?”

“I don’t know I just,” you inhale shakily “I don't know how to do it right now, not like this."

"Like what?" He hopes he already knows the answer, but needs to hear you say it, to know that you’re as serious as he is. Your mouth feels full of cotton when he forces you to look at him by whispering your name, pulling your hands from your face and his heart pinches tightly at the tears welling in your eyes "please tell me, please. Like what?"

"You already know," your bottom lip betrays you, voice weak beneath heavy emotion when you speak "I love you, Haechan. I'm in love with you, and I don't know what to do about it. I feel like I fucked everything up, but I can’t undo it."

He feels his lungs fill with relief. Haechan steps forward to close the small gap between your bodies, grabbing your jaw to rest his forehead against yours. You falter, but his hand on the small of your back keeps you from going anywhere, he's practically panting and you can barely stand, dizzy with the feeling of him. You want to pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming when he whispers "You didn't fuck anything up."

He ghosts his lips over yours for a moment until he's sure you're not going to stop him. When he finally kisses you it's with years of pent up adoration, directing your arms around his neck and pressing his thumb firmly into your jaw, long fingers wrapping around the side of your throat. He practically whines when your fingers tighten in his hair and your lips part for his warm tongue. His arm wraps around your waist so tightly you have to hinge backward to keep your mouths connected, gasping at the strength you didn't know he had.

He keeps your stomach flush to his own and kisses you until you're practically limp in his arms, pulling away to breathe. His eyes are shut as he rubs his nose over yours

"I love you, too. I've been meaning to tell you for a while." All the blood rushes into your ears at his words and you can't stop your biggest worry from spilling into the air.

“What if you change your mind?”

“I made up my mind a long time ago, there's nothing you could do to change it." He blinks his eyes open, pulling his face away from yours just enough to see you, the trepidation in your eyes makes him say your name quietly.

"It's only me, you know me," he assures you in a hushed tone "you have to know by now that you are my entire world."

You could laugh, only him, as if he hasn’t been one of the most important people in your life since the day you met. As if he isn’t someone who has seen you at every stage of it so far. It’s Haechan, who has always been funny, who has witnessed the worst sides of you and never made you feel bad, who has never left your side.

You kiss him again, fingers wrapping in tight fists around his shirt to keep yourself grounded. Haechan’s heart pounds happily in his chest and he hopes you can feel it this time, both hands nestling into your hair. He kisses you gently in an effort to slow down your urgent movements, moaning at the taste of your mouth. You fall into his rhythm easily, the way his tongue rolls gently over yours makes your body go up in flames. You move your hands to slide beneath his shirt, landing on the strong muscles in his back and teasing your fingers up his sides.

When you finally come up for air he stares at you for a minute before laughing, stomach tightening beneath your fingers when he does.

"What's funny?" you shut your eyes, leaning your forehead into his chest, letting the pretty sound ring in your ears.

"Nothing, I'm just-" he cuts himself off with a shrug, nuzzling his nose into the crown of your head "I love you, and you love me back. That's all, that's how easy it is."

"It hasn't been easy at all, in fact my life has been very very hard since your birthday last year.” He pulls away from your head to ogle at you.

"My birthday last year?" You nod, feeling your cheeks flush under his intense gaze, it had really been that long "God, I'm sorry I'm such a fucking idiot."

He's kissing you again before you can ask him to elaborate, grabbing hold of both wrists in one hand while he walks you backward and guides you up onto the counter as slowly as he has to in order to keep his lips on yours. His hips are the perfect height for you to wrap your legs around, gasping in surprise when he slides his hands around your ass and presses your core tightly against the growing bulge in his jeans.

You feel shy when you pull away to ask if he wants to go to your bedroom, feeling frozen in place when he stares at you with half lidded eyes, his plump lips swollen and red.

"Tonight, I'm just kissing you." Every cell in his body is screaming in protest at his own words. He can't express how badly he wants to do everything else, to recreate his dreams, to learn the parts of your body he'd never seen before. But he can't imagine doing anything but this tonight, just this; his lips on yours, your breath in his lungs and your body melting into his.

"Why?” your eyebrows pull together in confusion. You practically shiver with need, tucking your arms between your stomachs and burying your nose in his throat. His laugh buzzes against your face, rubbing his hands gently over your shoulders and trying to control his own breathing as your lips brush over his skin.

All he can say is, “Because I’ve been needing to for a long time.”

“How long?” You pull away from his chest, leaning back onto your hands and closing your eyes when he runs his own down your sternum and over your waist, groping at the flesh of your hips and trying not to regret his romantic side.

“Way too long.”

“Your birthday?” you ask, tugging gently at his shirt. He plants his hands outside of your legs to lean in close, one corner of his mouth pulling up.

“Much longer.” Your eyes widen in shock, and he interrupts you before you can question him “can we talk about it later? I have something really important to do tonight.”

———

He tells you that he's had feelings for you since senior year of college, when you kissed Jeno. He tells you about his plan to admit everything when he had seen you on his birthday, but that he was too scared. He assures you he ended his relationship the moment he got back home the previous week “because everyone has felt like a matter of 'when' it will end, not 'if',” He tells you that just two weeks of your silence hurt worse than any previous heartbreak, and you agree. And before you fell asleep next to him he tells you again, ‘I'm so in love with you.’ and shimmies excitedly when you say it back before kissing you until you can barely keep your eyes open. He holds your cheeks in his hands and practically lulls you to sleep with his tongue, plush lips pressing to yours so gently you can hardly feel them dotting around the rest of your face. He thinks he could do this forever before sleep finally catches up with him, his arm slung over your side to hold your face to his chest.

You wake up curled into a familiar side, your first emotion being giddy as the night floods back to you. Despite your obvious willingness to go further, Haechan had meant it when he said he'd only be kissing you. It made you crazy at first, but when the two of you were staring at each other in the mirror with shy eyes while moving through a nighttime routine you had gotten familiar with years before, you were happy he had the self control you clearly lack. The idea of him actually seeing and touching you in ways he never had before, of doing all the things you'd found yourself imagining him doing over the last year; it was overwhelming. Kissing until your jaw was sore and your lips were swollen felt easy.

You’re startled by Haechan’s hand reaching for yours, holding your palm and bringing your fingers to his lips to press a kiss to each one, “good morning.” his voice is deep and tired, mouth landing on the crown of your head.

"Good morning." You press your nose into his chest happily, gripping his hand in yours and resisting the urge to squeal with delight.

"What are you so excited about, me?" He teases, hand falling on your thigh to guide your leg up the front of his, stopping just below his crotch and you hope he's going to give you what you'd been wanting all night, for the last year.

"You, I just can't believe how happy I am." You admit, lifting your head off of his chest to smile at him. He pulls you right back down, kissing your lips once before rolling you both over so he's on top of you. He presses a hand over your collarbone and drags his lips down your chin and over your throat.

"You know, this means you're all mine now." he smirks against your neck when you nod, gasping when he sucks gently at the base. He has one forearm on the mattress, the other hand too gentle on your ribs. You can feel that he's hard and you immediately roll your hips up.

"Does this mean you're gonna do more than just kiss me now?" you intend to sound confident, but it comes out as a whimper. His nose brushes over your jaw before he presses lingering kisses to your chin and cheek.

"Yes, baby, if you'll let me." You nod eagerly, shifting your face so your lips are beneath his and sighing happily when he lowers his weight onto your torso, licking into your mouth. You shiver with anticipation when he pushes at your shirt, long fingers tickling up your side before landing on your breast. You gasp into his mouth when his thumb brushes over your already hard nipple.

Your impatience is overwhelming, grabbing the back of his shirt and tugging it up to his shoulders. He pulls away reluctantly, reaching one hand toward his back and pulling his shirt over his head. You gnaw at your lip, running your hands over his stomach and hooking your knees around his hips as much as you can while stretching your arms over your head.

“Cute.” he murmurs, pulling your shirt up and tossing it to the side. He gropes at your chest, tongue wetting his lips before he leans down to wrap them around one of your nipples. He’s trying to act without thinking, to let the dreams he’s had pave the path down your body because he knows the second he acknowledges his nerves he won’t be able to shake them off. His heart thrums when you gasp above him, arching your chest into his mouth. He’s greedy for your sounds, his hands squeezing your breasts together and licking between them to get to the other nipple. When your hips buck up into his he groans, pulling away from your chest and staring down at you with wondering eyes.

“Can I?” He feels unnaturally shy, leaning back on his calves and watching his fingers press dimples into the flesh of your hips above your underwear, tugging at the hem.

“You don’t need to ask.” He smiles, forcing you to sit by grabbing the back of your neck for a kiss. His fingers press into your clothed core and your hips roll into his hand. He sighs into your mouth at your desperation, torn between teasing you and touching you everywhere.

You can’t keep your legs from shutting around his arm when he pushes your panties to the side and slides his middle and ring finger up your wet center, circling over your clit.

You pull away from the kiss, blinking up at him and your mouth falls open when he presses firmly on your clit, rubbing in slow circles. His head hangs as he lets out a quiet “fuck” at your reaction, moving his hand off your neck to stroke over your stomach and without it behind your head you have to lie back, he presses your legs open. Haechan stares at your chest while he settles between your knees, pushing two fingers inside your dripping core. His jaw hangs open, watching his knuckles disappear inside of you.

“So soft,” he breathes, staring down to where his fingers glisten when he pulls them out to rub over your clit again, palming over his cock getting harder in his sweats “want to be everywhere at once.”

“Want you everywhere.” you whine when his fingers pull away to hook into your underwear, tugging them down your legs. Haechan stands to strip and you hold your breath and soak in the soft swell of his hip that leads to where his cock hangs heavy between his legs. It’s pretty like the rest of him, and thicker than you'd expected with a leaking tip that matches the color of his tongue, he strokes himself once and you don’t get the chance to reach for him before he lays back on the bed, rolling you to sit on top of him. You shudder when your pulsing clit rubs over his stomach, inner thigh squeezing into his ribs. He runs his hands up your waist, scooting you an inch higher and grabbing onto your tits.

“Do you remember a few months ago, when you called me drunk and I told you I was dreaming about hanging out with you?” He shivers when you grind down in response, wet pussy sliding easily over his skin “I lied.”

Your hands press into his chest, tilting your head “what were we doing?” you can barely speak above a whisper when he pinches gently at your nipple with one hand, the other rubbing over your ribs when he smirks up at you.

“You were about a foot higher than you are right now,” you gasp and reach out to grab the headboard when he jolts his hips to move you up his chest, staring down at him with wide eyes as he shifts to wrap his arms under your legs, fingers pressing into your thighs.

“You dreamt about this?” you let him bring your hips to hover over his face, hands falling into his hair when he brushes his nose over your clit as he nods.

“All the time,” he moans and drags you down onto his face, lips wrapping around your clit. You shudder above him, letting some of your weight collapse into your heels and he groans happily at the pressure of you on his chin, pressing you harder onto his mouth to fuck his tongue into you. He wants to devour you, every sound you make goes straight to his cock which is already rock hard at the taste and smell of you. Even just thinking about the fact that it's your hips grinding over his face right now is enough to make him moan into your pussy.

You slur out praise, one of your hands shooting up to grip the headboard. His hands wander gently up your sides, eyes opening to stare up to where he plays with your tits, hard cock pulsing at the sight of your head thrown back, hips moving in gentle circles over his face. Haechan’s hand tugs yours down to his hair, trying to restrain himself from thrusting into the empty air at the feeling of you all over him. He hums happily into your pussy when you start to grind over his mouth, flattening his tongue for you to ride until your legs are shaking.

He lets out a deep “mmhmm” when you warn him that you’re going to cum, suckling hard on your clit until you’re practically begging him to let you go, body crumpling forward with both hands tangled in his hair. He's grateful you didn't touch his cock, just the thought of your fingers wrapped around him is enough to make him cum and he has other plans.

You can’t speak when you collapse onto the mattress beside him, immediately warmed by the weight of his body on top of yours as he slots himself between your thighs, sucking a hickey onto the front of your throat.

“Taste too fucking good,” he hums, mouthing over your chin and cheek “been dreaming of eating your sweet pussy for so long.” you practically swoon when he kisses you, pre-cum wetting the inside of your thigh when he relaxes his stomach onto yours.

“Hyuck, want you in me, please” Your vision is blurry, whining into his swollen lips. He works them over your cheek before pulling away from you, bringing one of your legs up to his shoulder and you rest the other knee on his hip. He can feel himself pant when he taps the head of his cock on your swollen clit, practically drooling when he sticks barely the tip inside before pulling back and repeating the tantalizing motion.

“Been waiting for too long to be teased,” you pout, trying to encourage his hips toward yours with the ankle he’s not pressing his cheek into. He smirks and circles his leaking tip over you again, watching his cock spread your arousal around before he pushes into you a little further.

“I’m taking my time with you, feels so fucking good.” He can’t look away from between your thighs, messy hair hanging over his forehead while his fingers grip your ankle tightly. You whimper when he pulls all the way out again, one more hard tap against your pulsing clit before he pushes himself halfway into your leaking pussy. You rise onto your elbows, trying to reach one hand to grab for his hip but he releases the base of his cock to stop you by lacing your fingers together. When Haechan finally looks into your eyes he bottoms out, stretching your leg toward your chest so he can lean in. His hips stutter, a choked groan rumbling deep in his chest.

“Oh my god, Hyuck please.” you beg him to move with a gasp. His forehead presses to your chin, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Fuck, baby, been needing you," he thrusts into you slowly, lifting his head to look down at you glowing beneath him with your eyes shut. He pulls out all the way before thrusting back inside, quickening his hips when your eyes flutter open, the look on your face enough to make his balls tighten slightly, shutting his eyes to regain self control "knew you'd feel so fucking good."

"M’so full, Haechan." you moan at his words and the rapid slap of his hips on the back of your thighs, forcing your eyes to stay open so you can see his face. The way his nose scrunches with focus when he pulls away from your chest, both his hands wrapping firmly around your hips while he watches his cock sink into you. Brown, shaggy hair sticks to his damp forehead, full lower lip taken between his teeth. He’s pure, unadulterated boyish beauty, and he’s all yours.

You squeak when he lets your leg drop off his shoulder, pressing your thigh as far open as it will go with your heel digging into his backside. He fans his fingers over your lower stomach, thumb reaching down to push your clit side to side and your hips tuck up for more pressure, Haechan moans loudly when the movement causes you to clamp around his cock, "Perfect fucking pussy, can't believe it's mine now. Like my fingers on your pretty clit?”

You nod enthusiastically, letting go of your breasts to hold the backs of your thighs, Haechan's eyes move up your body to stare at your chest move beneath him, nipples looking sweet as candy. He’s dying to sink his fingers into the softest part of your stomach, the way you’re moving for him makes his mind turn to sand. You stare down to where his thumb is making circles over your clit, perfectly timed with the head of his cock bruising your g-spot. You feel a second orgasm build and the corner of his mouth pulls up proudly when your legs shake. Your head hangs back as you gasp for air, "yes, please, Haechan feels so fucking good."

"Make the prettiest noises for me, want you cumming all over my cock." he leans forward just enough to trap your throat beneath the weight of his palms, other hand still moving over your swollen clit. You smile at the pressure of his body on yours, eyes fluttering shut while you moan. You nod desperately when he asks if you can do that, "if you can let me make you feel that good, please, my pretty girl."

He takes his hand off your throat when you cum, wanting to hear every sound you could possibly make. You repeat his name like a blessing that has him cumming with you, moaning and breathless as his hips start to slow, milking you both through your orgasms.

You wrap your arms around him when he pulls out of you, reveling in the feeling of him when he lowers himself down, burrowing his face into your neck and warming your skin with his breath. You hold him there for a minute until he pulls his head up, dopey smile lighting up his eyes and making you laugh.

“What?” you scrunch your nose at him “better than your dreams?”

He nods, “so much better, best I ever had, my body belongs to you now.” he smirks at his own words, but his tone is so gentle he can’t even call it a joke.

“Just your body?” you tease, and he leans his nose onto your lips for a kiss that you carry onto the mole under his eye.

“Body, mind, heart, soul,” he sighs happily when you cup his cheeks in your hands, kissing him gently “all the planets in my head.”

"All the planets in my head too."

————

masterlist

authors note // this ended up being much longer than i anticipated, maybe the longest one shot i’ve ever actually written! i appreciate everyone who voted for happy ending because when i was originally thinking of a sad ending it was too hard lol. this feels forever unfinished because there is so much good to this version of haechan, i adore him.

#haechan #haechan fanfiction #haechan smut #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #nct dream fanfiction #nct dream smut #nct 127 fanfiction #nct 127 smut #nct fanfiction #nct smut

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liliansun · 4 months

Text

two “rules” one problem

pairing : ex-bff!hyuck x fem!reader

wc : 14.8k

synopsis : despite your history, you and haechan couldn’t stand each other. that is till you’re paired up for a project and he’s just desperate enough for your help with his love life with the acception of his stupid rules

genre : enemies2lovers (best trope), ex-childhood friends to lovers (also best trope), fake dating, angst, fluff, college au

warnings : swearing, kissing, alcohol, haechan gets jealous, lying, uhh idk what else but lmk if i missed something (not proof read so i’m sorry 🥲)

If there was one thing twelve year old donghyuck wanted more in this world, other than his mom’s cooking, it was his two best friends coming together. You had been his friend since birth, both your mom’s bonding together before the two of you even came into the world. They met in a birth class, having similar due dates helped them both find comfort and friendship within each other compared to the other moms in the class that were farther along than them. They had already planned playdates after both you and donghyuck were born and even after all that time, they stayed true to those plans.

Your earliest memories have donghyuck in them in some shape, way or form. Whether he was attending you birthday party, or you to his, all the way to the two of you sharing the same home room when you both started school. The dynamic between you two was truly unmatched, something that could never be touched or fault. When you two got older, not much had changed. The excitement of high school had you both buzzing as each day passed through your final years of being just below the line of being a teenager.

Although you both were attached by the hip, you still found space in your young life to befriend other people, or at least donghyuck did. Thats how mark lee came into the picture, being a transfer student in the middle of the year made it hard for him to settle in and become comfortable. Donghyuck saw mark sitting along during lunch one sunny afternoon and although the two had a bit of a rocky start, their friendship blossomed into something that they both needed. Now that he had such a connection with his new found friend, all he wanted to do is share his love for mark with you. You thought you were a welcoming person, easy to get along with and fairly nice, but the day donghyuck brought you and mark together would just so happen be the day you lost your best friend.

“I’m telling you, that doesn’t sound right to me.”

Mark rolls his eyes, laughing a little under his breath as he strums his slender fingers against the strings on his guitar. “Its not finished yet, gotta trust the process.” You simply reply with a hum as you watch mark fiddle and try to tune the strings to his liking. The two of you were cooped up in his dorm room, him sitting on the edge of his bed with the instrument rested in his lap while you opted to sit in the chair that usually was tucked under his desk. “What are you doing here anyway, don't you have other friends to bother instead?” Rolling your eyes, you feel your phone buzzing in your pocket. “Actually, no i don't, i thought we went over this. Yeongmin is off studying so she can’t aid my boredom.”

Mark continued strumming along the strings till he got a rhythm he liked and started to hum along with the tune that was filling the room. “I swear you’re gonna be famous one of these days.” Looking down at your phone, you notice the groupchat you’re in with your friends is going off. “That would be nice actually.” Unlocking your phone, a smile spreads across your lips at the messages that were popping up. “Maybe if you didn’t have crippling stage fright, you’d be able to actually play the songs you sing to more people than just me.” A gentle laugh left mark’s throat as he set the guitar down on its stand beside his bed. “Actually, I sing to Haechan too, so don’t come for me.” His name left a sour taste in your mouth, your face scrunching up as you try to block out his stupid face in your mind. Mark could tell you two still weren’t on good terms, but he didn’t want to push it again and opted to pick up his phone that was vibrating on his bed.

You stole a glace at the screen, catching the name of the caller id. “Speak of the devil and he shall appear.” You mumble underneath your breath. Mark answers the facetime call, holding his phone in his hand, but opting to hold it further down at an angle. “Yo, whats up?” The background noise was windy, letting both you and mark know that he must've been outside. “Bro where have you been, i've been looking for you for hours!”

“If you didn’t find him, he obviously didn’t wanna be found, but if its you he’s hiding from who can blame him.” Mumbling beneath your breath, but mark still heard you. “Hey, you be nice over there.” haechan looked confused on the screen, strolling around on campus to his unknown destination. “Are you talking to yourself again?” mark turned his camera around, showing you sitting comfortably in his chair as you scroll mindlessly on social media. “No, im not talking to myself again, y/n is here.” by the mention of your name, haechan rolled his eyes. “Why is she always there when im coming over.”

“I didn't even know you're coming over.” added in his defense after switching his camera back around. “If that thing is on his way, i’m out.” you piped up, grabbing your bag from off the floor as you stood up from the chair. “Text me when you make it in at least?” mark felt helpless sometimes. He never truly understood what went down between you and haechan all those years ago, but splitting his free time between the two of could could be more challenging some days than others. If he wasn’t chilling with you in the comfort of the few places you knew haechan wouldn’t be caught dead near like your dorm or the library, he was chilling with haechan and the friend group they developed over the years being in college.

“Will do, have fun with the devils incarnate.” You say back as you’re opening the door to make your exit. Just as you’re leaving, you come face to face with something firm or shall you say someone. “Do you ever use those eyes of yours or are they just there for decoration?” you recognized that voice from anywhere, it being the same voice belonging to the one person you were hoping not to see on your way out. “Can you move lee, or are you just that self absorbed to think that I could just see you standing outside the door before it was even open?” Haechan scoffed as you walked past him, huffing as you nudge him with your shoulder to get him out of your way. From mark’s dorm to yours wasn't a far walk, which was good for you when you needed to get out of your room or just needed his help on an assignment. Unfortunately for you, it meant that haechan too didn’t have much of a far walk either seeing that his dorm hall was across from yours.

When you get into your room, your roommate wonchae looked up from her phone as she was laid out on her bed. “I thought you were at mark’s for a few hours?” Tossing your bag down beside the door you huff as you walk over to your bed and crawl underneath the blanket after removing your shoes. “I was till donghyuck decided to grace mark with his presence.” Wonchae giggled as she sits up, looking at you getting comfortable beneath your blanket as you pull your phone out. “Wanna call the girls over for a movie night instead?” you glance over at her, a smile spreading across your lips as you prop yourself up on your elbow. “As long as we’re not too loud again, we can’t afford another complaint this month.” Wonchae was already texting the groupchat before you could even finish your sentence. The night proceeded with you and your friends having a movie marathon despite your early class in the morning. You assumed it wouldn’t be too much to unwind a bit, binge watching three movies back to back. Somehow, you didn’t make it to your bed when you initially planned to due to the twins, wonchae and yechae convincing you to pull through the last movie.

Since the time on the clock read after midnight by the time the movies were finished, the three girls opted to sleep over with you and your roommate instead of taking the risk of going back to their own dorms. Yeongmin’s dorm was the furthest from yours, being about a twenty minute walk and you all collectively agreed she especially was sleeping over. Somehow you and yeongmin both managed to fit in your tiny bed for the night while the twins and sin-ra snuggled up on wonchae’s bed across the room. By the next morning, you woke up to the sound of yeongmin snoring in your ear beside you. She had her arms and legs tangled in yous, trying to pry her off you as you crane your neck to look over at the time clock on your desk. Your worst fears were confirmed when the time read nine after when your first class was supposed to finish. Quickly getting out of the warmth of your bed, you scramble to get ready and are out the door before you can properly apologize for waking everyone up.

If you were lucky, or rather fast enough, you can catch your professor before he starts his next class and get the notes on what you missed. You make a mental note to thank yourself when you set up your schedule for this semester for giving you breaks in between classes, especially on the midday schedules. As your toppling up the stairs leading into the building, you spot haechan leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He hadn’t noticed you thankfully, not wanting him to hold the fact that you almost busted your face open trying to get inside over your head. He looked so into thought, looking out over the campus as you take the opportunity to grip the railing to catch your breath.

“Look who decided to show up for class today.” rolling your eyes, you straighten your posture as he pulls himself off the wall he once was comfortably leaning against. “Don’t start with me today, i almost died trying to get over here to catch professor choi before his next class.”

“Don't bother, he cut class short for some family emergency or something, but i can fill you in if you fix your attitude.” He truly was the epitome of your frustration. “Just tell me what i missed so i can get away from you as quickly as possible.” there was a mischievous glint in his eyes when he tools steps towards you. “Looks like you’re not gonna get too far, we’re partnered up for a presentation.”

If the universe didn’t already hate you, you’d think this was your first sign. “I can always request a partner switch, you know?” Haechan only laughs in response, clutching the bag hung over his shoulder with one hand. “Good luck with that, he made it pretty clear that he wasn’t giving in because this will be counted towards our final.” a sigh left your lips as you accepted your fate, you and haechan would have to spend an unknown amount of hours in each others presence without any chance at getting around it. “Just meet me after our next class and we can go over it then.” WIth that, you turned on your heals and made your way to the nearest cafe to get something in your body since you didn’t have the opportunity to grab breakfast. Thankfully for you, your campus was notorious for its tiny cafes placed around all of campus which not only helped feed your caffeine addiction, it helped other students make some money as they swim in student dept.

As good as every cafe you’ve been to on campus can be, none of them compare to the baristas at cafe neo, something about the way those boys make your drinks just the way you like them has been without a doubt why you only trust them with your order. As you make your way across campus and the cafe is within sight, you over hear a conversation between the two girls in front of you. “Oh my god, look what bomi just posted!” the one to your right gasped, whipping out her phone as she brings it to the slightly shorter girls attention. “You’re kidding, isn’t she dating haechan?” you’re trying not to be nosy, not fond of listening into other peoples conversation, but at the mention of haechan’s name, you can’t help, but keen in. “Guess not anymore, look at the caption, those hearts are definitely more than just friendly.”

The two part off of the way you were going, leaving you with little information as to what their reactions were about. You had just saw haechan, judging by his usual cocky and self absorbing nature, he seemed all but heartbroken. You push your wondering thoughts aside as you enter in the cafe, smiling over at the tall boy who stood behind the counter. “Welcome to cafe neo– oh hi y/n!” his nametag read jisung, but you always referred to him as the cute underclassman who blushed when you tipped him. “Hi ji, anything new on the menu?” Jisung smiled at you as you walk up to the counter. “Nothing today, chenle is still brainstorming over ideas to ask the culinary department on what they can come up with in the back, you just want the usual?” You skim over the menu that was hanging on the wall behind him, as if you got anything different, but it never hurt to look. “Mmm, yeah, just one please.”

Getting the money from your pocket, you lay it on the counter as he typed in your order on the screen in front of him. It’s times like this that make you wonder how often you come here for this boy to know your order by heart. He takes the money you laid out for him and as he tries to hand you your change, you throw your hand up in refusal. “No, you keep it, you boys work too hard.” theres a slight pinkish tent to his cheeks as he slips the few bills and coins in the glass jar beside the front of the counter. “I’ll call you when its ready!”

Throughout the rest of the day, you take your perfectly made drink with you to your next class and go about your day, everything feeling as normal as it could. One thing that slightly bothered you were the hushed whispers of Haechan’s relationship and how quickly his ex girlfriend seemed to move on. People were coming up with theories amongst themselves as to what could’ve happened and if Haechan knew. Just like you, some said he seemed fine for the first part of the day till the alleged post was made from which you overheard. You didn’t pay it any mind and went about your day till you were back in your room for the night.

“And if you carry this number, you should get one of these answers down here.”

“And how do i know if i got them right?”

“We won’t know till we actually try, now won’t we?” Jaemin, the guy who you shared a math class with last semester, asked you to tutor him this semester so that he might actually have a chance of passing the class and getting out of this hellhole. His words, not yours. “Or, brillant idea, you can use your pretty brain and show me which answer is correct.” Jaemin was indeed a smart guy, but it was moments like these that you questioned if he really had a multi functioning organ in that skull of his or was it just hot air. “Not a chance, solve it the way I showed you and we’ll go from there.” With a defeated huff, he finally puts the pencil that he has been fiddling with the last few minutes to work.

The two of you met in the library near his hall regularly, about twice during the week and an extra day is added when he has an upcoming test and if you have the time. The library usually was quiet around this time of day, most keeping to themselves as they cater to their own work, but for some reason you felt a pair of eyes staring at the back of your head. Just as you’re about to take a look around the room, the chair beside you is being pulled out and haechan finds himself in the seat next to you. “Where have you been?” you look over at him, slightly shocked to see him actually in the library. “Excuse me?” His face tells you that he’s annoyed, rolling his eyes dramatically as he leans into your personal space. “I said, where have you been, i've been all over campus for you and had to result to mark to find you.”

You motion to Jaemin who was focused in on the problem in front of him, or at least he was when you last looked his way. Now he has his signature grin on his lips, flashing his teeth as he witness the unwelcomed tension between you and haechan. “For your information, i’m tutoring pretty boy over here and your grumpiness is interrupting him.” Jaemin’s smile widens even more as the vein in Haechan’s forehead looks like it about to pop. “I, quite frankly, don’t give a fuck. maybe send someone a text next time so i don’t have to look so desprate to find you.” You scoff, sitting back in your seat as you realize his undertones. Who was he to say that looking for you made him look desperate, he literally is desperate in this moment.

“Sorry to break up this beautiful moment, but its about that time for me to go, so y/n, same time next week?” Nodding, you let out a sigh as Jaemin starts to pack his things into his bag and slings it over his shoulder. “There, happy now? You ran off Jaemin.” haechan ignores you, pulling his laptop out of his own bag and sets it onto the table. “We have roughly a month and a half to pump out a fucking book of an essay and make a slide point presentation, the faster we get this finished the less I have to see you in my free time.” He was truly unbelievable, first he comes and interrupts your personal time to help the needy, needy being Jaemin and his need to pass his class, and now he throws wanting to get away from you as quickly as he can? You are definitely adding this to the list of why you hate him.

The two of you go over the topic you were given, trying to break down the work between the two of you into categories: what you can do separate and what you’ll have to do together. Since you both were already here, you decided it would be best to get a head start on the research portion. Time must’ve caught up with you both, wrapping things up right before the library closed for the night. “I can’t look at this screen anymore, lets just end it here and meet up another day.” You grab your forgotten bag from the floor, carrying it on your arm as Haechan packs up his laptop. By the time he is done, you’re already making your way out the door and dredging the walk back to your dorm. Quick approaching steps trail behind you as haechan jogs to catch up to you. “Woah, not so fast, aren’t you forgetting something?” you don’t bother to stop, continuing your walk as he walks beside you. “And that is?”

“We don’t have any way of contacting each other, idiot, so give me your number.” You halt your movements and with a sigh, turn to face him. The bright sky from when you first entered the library earlier is now replaced with the deep colors of the night. The moon was full, shining its light down and being your only real light to see haechan’s features that seem more soft in this setting. “Do you still remember my number?” Haechan looks taken aback, looking at you with a lingering confusion in his eyes. “You still have that number?”

“Mhm, so if you still know it then there’s your way of getting to me.” You’re about to turn and make your way to your dorm, your stomach urging you to find food soon. Haechan was chewing on his bottom lip, reaching out for your arm as he watched you try to walk away. “What is it donghyuck? I’m hungry and tired, what could you possibly want now?” The wind leaves his lungs as you say his name. Once he got to high school, many people started sticking him with the nickname Haechan, the reasoning behind it was his bright smile and personality, but you still saw him as donghyuck even after all this time.

“Just come with me, your dorm is too far to be walking at this time of night.” You didn’t get a chance to protest, he was already dragging you along with him to his car parked out front. “Fine, but I swear if you try to kill me with your driving I will come back to haunt your ugly ass.” You earn a snicker from him, his hand still holding your arm till you two reach his car and you slide into his passenger seat. Haechan fits perfectly into the drivers seat, putting the keys into the ignition and starting up his car once you are locked in. The two of you don’t say much, letting the radio fill in the silence of the drive. You’re too busy looking out the window to realize he passes up your hall, looking over at him with confusion once you see an unfamiliar street.

“Uhm, where are we going?”

“Dinner.” The words fall from his mouth so nonchalantly that you don’t question it any further, sinking into the seat as you let him drive to wherever he wanted. You’re not exactly sure why, but part of you always wanted a moment like this. Sitting in the car with Haechan, driving around town till it got dark was one thing you dreamt of back when you were both young, back when you still could see yourself in his future. Now that you’re doing it, it almost feels foreign. Sure, everything about his car screamed Haechan, the little things dangling from his rear view mirror gave that away, but the boy beside you was far from familiar. He was uncharted territory, someone you barely knew and to be beside him, being this close to him brought on a headache you weren’t expecting.

The two of you pull through the Taco Bell drive through, getting in line behind the cars. “What do you want?” You tell him your order after glancing over the menu. Even though you already knew what you wanted, you still wanted to give it some time to tell him in the order you wanted it. You were the type of person who wasn’t afraid of change, but didn’t go out of your way to invite it either. Always ordering the same thing from each place you go, you found comfort in the things that could always remain the same, like your Taco Bell order.

After your order is put through, you’re pulling your wallet out to give him cash for your part. “Here, this is for the food.” Haechan simply ignores you, handing over his card to the guy at the window. “Hello? Take the cash before I take it back.” After getting his card back, he slips it into his pocket and pulls forward. “Save your money, y/n, it’s not a big deal.” He seemed short with you tonight, not speaking up or putting much of a fight into it like he usually did in the passing times you two saw one another. It felt odd to see him brush you off, an unsettling feeling washing over you as you put the money back into your wallet.

After he had gotten the food and your two drinks, he whipped his car around and parked in a spot on the side of the building. “Are you fine eating here, I’m kinda hungry and don’t wanna have to wait till we get back.”

“No, yeah, it’s fine, but are you okay?”

You could see his body tense up at your question, pushing the straw into your drink before doing so to his own. “I guess, why do you care?” You’re sorting through the bag, grabbing what you assumed was his and handing it over to him. He goes to grab his food from your hand, your fingers brushing against each other’s for a moment. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, the warmth of his hand against yours, but it felt all too familiar and you almost jerk back as he quickly grabs the food. “Because I’m a decent human being and I knew you well enough back then to know that something is off.”

If you could read his thoughts, you’d see how badly your words hurt him just now. You were far from wrong, you truly did know him like the back of your hand and maybe even better than he knew himself, but too much time between you two had you both wondering if you knew anything about each other anymore. Amongst the burning anger you both have for one another, there was still some sort of longing within you that had you both slightly questioning the downfall of your friendship, but never enough to where either would act on it. “I don’t know, it’s kind of weird to think of opening up to someone I hate.”

“Then don’t think about it right now, if you need someone to talk to then do so. If it means forgetting you hate me just to get it off your chest, do so donghyuck.” A somber smile finds its way onto his lips as he tears open the wrapping that covered his food. “You’re a little too nice to me for someone who hates me just as much as I hate them.”

“Just because I hate you doesn’t mean I’m evil, I have a heart too you know?”

“Oh really, I never would’ve guessed judging by the lifeless look in your eyes.” You roll your eyes at his jab, mumbling something about dropping it before relishing in your food. The two of you don’t talk much after that, sitting in his car with the only form of sounds filling it were you two eating till he dropped you off. After getting in, wonchae gave you a weird look as you looked both defeated and exhausted. You told her you had a rough day and wanted sleep to be the reason you forgot about it.

You hadn’t seen or heard from Haechan since the night he bombarded you in the middle of your study session with Jaemin then took you out to Taco Bell. Sure, you’d see him in your shared class, but not once did his eyes meet yours and he kept every snarky remark to himself if he had any. You didn’t pay it any mind, assuming whatever was going on with him would pass and he’d be back to his normal asshole-like self soon. In between your classes for the day, you decided to slip off to the neo cafe for some well needed caffeine to keep you going through the day. While you were here, you planned to slip off in a quiet corner and let the music they play in the small room milk your brain to help you continue working on the parts of your presentation with Haechan.

As you’re walking up to the counter, you notice Jisung was nowhere to be found and you opt to wait patiently by the counter. The ring of the bell signaling the doors movement doesn’t catch your attention, but the familiar voice behind you does when you turn your head to the boy who called your name. “Can I help you?” Haechan hadn’t turned to look at you, his eyes scanning over the menu. “What’s good here, do you know?” You give him a puzzled look, wondering where this small talk came from. “Uhm, if your taste buds are even remotely the same, I’d say you’d get the sweet honey taro drink, it comes iced or hot.” He simply nods, tearing his eyes from the menu and lets his gaze fall onto you. The two of you lock eyes for a moment, trying to find something that felt familiar behind them, but all you could see was the void behind his golden irises.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry to keep you waiting! Chenle was about to burn down the kitchen so I had to step away for a second.” Jisung’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, turning to him with a soft smile. “That’s okay ji, I’m more than happy to wait if that meant this sacred place would still be my caffeine plug.” Jisung smiles as he enters your order, his attention going from yours to Haechan whose gaze has yet to leave your figure. Your eyes follow Jisung’s, looking over at Haechan. “Oh, no we’re not—“

“I’ll just have what she’s having.” Haechan pulls out some cash from his back pocket, bringing it out for Jisung. Your mind couldn’t wrap itself around Haechan’s weird demeanor lately, he not only has been nice to you, but he’s paid for you twice. You knew he was sick in the head, but now you’re guessing it’s more than just his mental stability. When Jisung gives Haechan his change, you fumble with your pocket and pull out a few bills to throw into the tip jar, something you didn’t want to miss even if you weren’t the one paying. Jisung silently thanked you with his smile, to which you returned and told you both that he’d call you when your drinks were ready.

You were about to start questioning the weirdly quiet Haechan before he motioned for you both to move over to a table a little further in a corner. The two of you sat down, setting your bag against your chair as you prop your elbows up onto the table. “Okay, you’re acting weird and it’s starting to make me feel uncomfortable.” Haechan’s lips part as he goes to speak, but Jisung’s presence interrupts him as the younger boy sets both the cups down. “Thanks, ji.” You said, grabbing one of the drinks and bringing it towards you. “Y/n, back in the car you said something that I’ve been thinking about lately.” He had your full attention, something that made him oddly feel sheer to you. You were leaned in, your body language letting him know that you were listening, despite the awkwardness of the moment.

“You said that even though you hate me, you still have a heart too.” Nodding in confirmation, you remember saying it, but it didn’t make sense as to why he was bringing it up. “I, uhm, don’t know if you heard or not, but my girlf—my ex broke up with me recently and I really want to get her back.” You bring the cup in your hands to your lips, taking in a slow sip in case his next words are your cause of death. “And the only way I can think to do that is to make her jealous and I know what you’re thinking and I can hear it now, but just hear me out?” There it was, his intentions and reasoning behind his odd behavior lately. As you process his words, you already know where this is going and your drink decides to be the one to take you out today instead. You start to choke as the liquid goes off its track and nearly comes back through your nose.

Haechan’s eyes widen, staring at you in surprise as you try to gain back the air that just left your lungs as you cough. “Are you okay?” You simply nod, patting your chest as your drink is put back onto the table and you’re taking in slow breaths to steady yourself in the seat. “Uh yeah, no wait, okay hold on, you want to do what now?” The boy across from you drops his head slightly, feeling embarrassed by even bringing up the situation. Yeah, he wanted his ex back, he truly loved her, or so that’s what he thought it was. “I know it sounds ridiculous, but you’re the only person I thought of.”

“And what makes you think it’ll be believable? I mean the whole campus knows we hate each other.”

“But they also know we have history, plus this project will be a good enough cover to make them believe we had some spark going off or whatever.” You stay silent, contemplating the whole ordeal. On one hand, this could go terribly wrong in many ways, people could not believe you two and this could blow up in your face for the rest of your time at this university or it could go great and once he’s back in the arms of his ex lover, he’ll finally leave your hair for good. “I’m not saying yes, so don’t get too excited, but if I were to think about it, what do I get out of it?” Haechan knew you were going to want something, a slight smirk forming in the corners of his lips. In his mind, he guesses some things never change and with that, neither have you. “I’ll leave you alone after this, no more bickering or picking at you and shit—oh and I’ll do half of your work for the project!”

Damn, he truly was desperate. You press your lips together, trying to debate if this truly would be worth it. The outcome, if good, would be best for both parties and maybe you’d finally have a peaceful rest of your time here. Something deep down inside tells you it’s a bad idea, but you choose to ignore it because if it meant he’d take over half of what you have to do on your shared presentation, more free time for you. “I have to go to class, but I’ll let you know by later tonight.” Your watch indicated if you didn’t leave now, you’d be late for your next class and since you have a lab today, you especially didn’t want to miss it. You go to stand, one hand holding your bag while the other grabs your cup. Haechan stands too, his bag still hanging on his shoulder as he goes to grab his cup. The two of you exit the Neo cafe quietly, unaware of the lingering eyes that follow you two out.

After your final class, you make a b-line to Mark’s dorm where he was expecting you. It had been a few days since you two had time to hang out and you both were taking the opportunity to have some study time together in the quiet of his dorm. Once he signs you in as a guest, you both go up to his dorm and make yourselves comfortable, you being at his desk and him sitting on his bed. “What do you have to get done?” Pulling out your notes from your lab along with your laptop, you set everything out on his desktop. “Just going over some notes and typing them into a small essay for class, you?”

“Man, I got a quiz to study for and since professor moon likes to give them at the worst times possible, I gotta get as much as I can in.” The two of you fell into a comfortable silence as you both busy yourselves in what you were doing, Mark had his speaker on and chose a calming playlist he created for when you two would study like this. The music really did help you stay focused, having something to fill the room to keep your brain from getting off track. You’re about halfway done typing away on your laptop when your phone buzzes beside it. Glancing over, you notice a few missed notifications from your shared group chat with your friends, a few social media notifications and a text from an unknown number. You’re about to pick up your phone to see who texted you when an incoming call pops up on the screen, the same number that texted you.

You slide your thumb across your phone, bringing it to your ear. “Hello?”

“You didn’t answer my text.” Of course it would be Haechan, who else were you expecting. In all honesty, you did expect him to text you at some point, but the call was a surprise for you. “I’m studying, like you should be doing too.”

“I need to know your answer, don’t get too excited.” You can practically feel him smirking through the phone followed by some shuffling. “Where are you anyway? I stopped by your hall and you weren’t there.”

Your posture straightens, wondering who he asked and what he told them when we made his way to your dorm. “You did what? Are you insane?” Haechan laughs, a soft laugh as you lean back in the seat. “Slightly, I’ve been told that’s a part of my charm though.” Rolling your eyes, you huff before looking over your shoulder at mark. “I’m with a friend, why?”

“Tell me where you’re at unless you want me to go to every hall on campus.”

“You’re fucking psycho, I’m with mark, idiot.” At the mention of his name, mark looks up at you as you swivel the chair around. You mouth Haechan’s name to him to which he looked genuinely confused. “Figures, I’m on my way.” He ended the call before you could even protest, swearing under your breath as you stood up to get your things together. “Why are you—actually no, since when did you and Haechan call each other?”

“I’ll explain later, I gotta go though bub, but I appreciate you studying with me.” You gave mark an apologetic smile as you packed your bag up with your laptop, making sure to grab everything you had. “Text me when you get in.” Mark had stood up from his bed, making his way over to you to gently pull you into a hug. The two of you never hugged much, the sudden affection leaving you taken aback slightly, but nevertheless you wrap your arms around him as he did you. “I’m right across the street, I’m not going rouge.” He hums, pulling back from the hug as he gives you an uneasy smile. “Yeah, I know, but you’re going with Haechan and that’s what makes me worried.”

It too made you worried, even if you didn’t exactly agree to his lil situation he proposed earlier, that nagging feeling that it wasn’t going to end well never left you every time you gave it more thought. “I’ll be fine, plus my location is on if I don’t text you by nine.” Mark only laughs as your arms drop from around him and you leave his room. It doesn’t take you long to get out the building, spitting Haechan’s car parked in front with his passenger window rolled down. He’s leaned over, a smirk across his lips while one hand grips the top of the steering wheel. “Hop in.” He says as you make your way down to his car. Once you get in, you throw your bag in his back seat and fasten your seatbelt before Haechan takes off and drives you two off campus.

“And where exactly are we going?”

Haechan doesn’t look over at you, his eyes focused on the road, but he can feel your stare on him. He was wearing a letterman jacket with a black shirt underneath and some jeans that complemented the look, it was the first time you really took in his attire and you swore he didn’t have that jacket on earlier. “Somewhere quiet we can talk, to sort everything out for the show we’re about to put on.” He’s cocky, confident and arrogant. You hated it, hated how smug he looked as the words fell from his mouth. “I haven’t even said yes yet, did that get through your thick skull?” He takes a moment to glance over at you, his mischievous expression never faulting. “You wouldn’t be in my car with me if you didn’t want to.” Fuck him for being right and fuck him for being slightly attractive when he said it. Slightly, not very or even a full hundred percent, but slightly.

He drives you two off to an abandoned looking parking lot where he puts his car into park and turns slightly to face you. “Have you thought about it enough?” You turn to face him, getting as comfortable as you can in the seat. “I guess, but you better pull through with doing half of my part of the project or else I’ll castrate you, no hesitation.” Haechan laughs, a full laugh that has his head tilting back just a bit. You’re fighting the smile that threatens to form on your lips. “You have my word, but we have more important things to go over.” He searches your face when you remain quiet, having the same look you did back at the cafe earlier, he knew you were listening. “Okay, so I was thinking our first appearance as a newly and very much in love ‘couple’ should be at the party this weekend.”

“Scratch that, I don’t party.”

“You’re gonna have to if you wanna keep up with me.” You scowl at him, rolling your eyes mentally as you give in. “Fine, but I’m not making it a habit, I have grades to keep up ya know?” He simply nods, going over the next few things y’all as a couple would have to do together in order to pull this off. Your first outing would be at the party, to much of your disapproval and the following will fall into place like dominos. You’d start having lunch together if your schedules met up, the two of you would spend time between classes together, again if your schedules met up, then you’d also have to sit beside him in your shared class. He also made mention that he’d be picking you up and dropping you off at your dorm so that you’d always be seen with him to make it believable. “Now we need to set some ground rules.”

“Ground rules? What are we, five years old?”

A memory flashes through Haechan’s mind, back to when you two were five. You had been on the playground at school by yourself and he was off on the monkey bars when you had fallen off the swing. The ground did not aid your fall, scraping your elbow and knee which resulted in a cry that not only alerted your teacher, but haechan. When get got to you, you were sniffling over the pain and the dirt on your dress, a dress that your mom bought for you for your previous birthday. “Y/n, i told you to wait for me.” Five year old Haechan pouted as he walked with you and the teacher to the nurses office. “I wanted to swing, I didn’t think I’d get hurt.” You replied, holding his hand gently. After that day, the two of you made a rule that you’d play together to make sure if something went wrong, you’d be by each other's side.

“The first rule, no one can know, not your roommate or your friends, if you have any, not even Mark.” You scoff, hitting his arm to which he whined. “For your information, I have friends and it’s not only Mark.” Haechan rubs the sore spot on his arm as he shakes his head at you. “Yeah yeah, the voices in your head don’t count.”

“Fuck you, Lee.”

“Second rule, no falling in love, not with anyone while this is going on, which goes without saying, but no hooking up either and no falling in love with me.”

“How can anyone fall in love with someone like you?” You didn’t realize the weight of your words till you watched the smile from his face fade away. Guilt washed over you in a wave, your face dropping as you see him fiddling with the buttons on his jacket. You’re about to apologize when you see his mood shift, he turns back facing the wheel and starts his car. “Yeah, anyway, two rules and that’s that.” You don’t say anything back, turning back in your seat to fasten your seatbelt. Haechan drives you back onto campus and drops you off in front of your hall. “What time is your class in the morning?” He asks as he puts his car into park. “I think it’s an eight am class, but I’ll text you when I get in.” He nods as you free yourself and get out of his car.

Heading upstairs, the phone in your hand is going off with missed messages from your group chat with your friends. You’re smiling down at them as you push your door open, only to look up and see your four friends sitting with their arms crossed. “Oh hello, did I miss something?”

“We missed you!” Yeongmin stated, sitting with her legs crossed on your bed. “Where have you been, ma’am?” Yechae asked as she gave you a knowing smile. “I was just out, jeez, I’m sorry mom.” Sin-ra giggles as she pushes out her phone for you to see. “Uh huh, and whose car was this?” All the girls ooo at you as you sit down on your bed, filling in the spot next to Yeongmin. “You watched me!” Wonchae shook her finger at you, “What else were we supposed to do when you went missing? One minute, you’re at Mark’s dorm and the next, you’re off the grid!” The four girls immediately started questioning you as you brushed off their curiosity with half-assed answers. You wanted so badly to tell them all that’s going on and the situation you had gotten yourself into, but that was one of the two rules Haechan made. No one can know.

A loud knock on the door interrupts the conversation, all of you looking at one another. “Oh, that must be our RA, I think the pizza is here.” Yeongmin gets up from your bed and goes to open the door, unexpecting the boy who was on the other side. “Hi, uhm, is y/n here?” Haechan’s voice immediately caught your attention as you scramble off your bed while the other three girls give you wide eyed looks. “I’ll get it!” Yeongmin’s grip on the door is stronger than your force of trying to push her out the way. She moves, but not enough to where you'd be blocking their view. She only steps back, opening the door even more for them all to see him standing there with your bag in hand. “Hi, sorry, I didn’t even realize I left it.”

Haechan can tell by the look on your friends' faces that they were shocked to see him there. He had an audience and he was about to put on a show. “No problem baby, you left it in my backseat.” The sudden nickname makes your stomach flip, but you weren’t about to show him that. Instead, you reach for the bag to which he moves with his hand. “Ah ah, I want a kiss goodbye first.” You immediately glare at him to which he gives you a smirk. “Not in front of my friends, silly.” The emphasis you put on the last word has Haechan smiling even wider. “Just one for the road?” With a deep breath in, you had only two options. Kiss him and get him to leave or knee him in his most valued area, but that would be too red of a flag for your friends. You take a step closer to him, standing up on your toes as you press a quick peck on his cheek. As you do so, you grab for your bag that he still was holding, your fingers brushing against his.

“Thank you, I’ll see you in the morning?” Haechan looks dumbfounded for a minute, blinking down at you with slightly parted lips. He wasn’t expecting you to actually kiss him, so for you to do so, he was a bit taken aback. “I’ll be here, goodnight babygirl.”

The show Haechan put on caused an uproar within your friend group that lasted just long enough before the three had to go back to their rooms. They were questioning everything from what the hell that was and since when were you babygirl for anyone else, but them. When you finally admitted that he was your (fake) boyfriend, they all congratulated you on your new relationship and only wished they knew about him before.

The next morning went according to your plans you and haechan texted about the night before. He picked you up, parked right in front of your dorm before your class and even stopped by and got you a drink from the Neo cafe. After he dropped you off at your first class, you didn’t see him much till your shared class where he saved you a seat. The two of you went your separate ways after he walked you to your next class and eventually he dropped you off back at your dorm. “The party starts in a few hours so I’ll text you when I’m coming by.” He said, watching as you get out of his car. “Got it, also don’t come in again, you nearly killed my friends with your little stunt you pulled.” This earned a laugh from Haechan as you shut the door and he waited till you were inside before he pulled off.

By the time you got inside your room, all your friends were already sitting on your and wonchae’s beds as they watched a movie on your shared tv. “Oh good, just in time, the movie just started!” Yechae smiled at you as she paused the movie. “Actually, I have plans, I’m so sorry.” A pout forms on your bottom lip in hope they forgive you. “Actually, do you guys wanna come with me? Haechan is taking me to a party and I don’t wanna leave you guys here.” Sin-ra was already jumping off the bed as she went straight to your closet. “A party, fucking bet!” The other three girls join in as they raid Wonchae’s closet and you text Haechan letting him know they’re coming. To your surprise, he responds with ‘the more the merrier ;)’ and you brush off the wink as you try to hide the blush that crept onto your cheeks.

Since there were so many of you and you know already you won’t all fit in Haechan’s car, the girls opt to take Yechae’s car as well and after you all get dressed, you get a text that Haechan was waiting for you out front. “Alright, he’s here, y’all ready?”

“Go ahead and send us the address, we’ll catch up.” Yeongmin gives you a playful push out your door, turning to ask her why before she shuts the door. With that, you go ahead down to his car and open his passenger door. “Hey, the girls are gonna meet us there so can you send me the address really quick?” You haven’t looked at him yet, trying to get your phone out of your pocket. Haechan, on the other hand, couldn’t tear his eyes off of you. You chose to wear an off the shoulder shirt to attempt to blend in paired with some of your nicer jeans and the exposed skin has his heart racing. “Hyuck?” Turning your attention to him, you take in his attire. Leather jacket with a white undershirt and black jeans paired with a black belt. Damn, he actually looked good.

“You look beautiful, y/n.” He sounded like he didn’t mean to say that out loud, his voice barely over a whisper, but that didn’t stop the blood rushing to your cheeks. “Thank you, not too bad yourself.” Haechan’s face was similar to yours, his cheeks a soft shade of pink. Not just from your compliment, but from how effortlessly the forgotten nickname rolled off your tongue. A few minutes felt like forever passed, the two of you staring at each other with something similar in each other's eyes. For Haechan, it looked like a longing feeling swirling around in his eyes while for you, he could see the same little girl you were back when you were kids and he wonders how much time has passed since he’s seen you like this. You’re the first to break contact, looking away awkwardly as you open your phone to Yechae’s messages. “The address?”

“Huh, I’m sorry, what did you ask for?”

“I asked you earlier for the address to the party.”

Haechan’s lips formed an o as he took the phone you handed over for him. He took the phone, this time your fingers just miss each other and you can’t deny you miss the warmth that radiates from him. After he types in the address, he hands over your phone and the two of you drive silently to the party with the music volume on low. It doesn’t take you long to arrive, people coming in and out as he opts to park up front. “Isn’t it illegal to park here, I thought this was for members only?” You’re unbuckling your seatbelt as you look through the window at the Greek letters above. “Not for me it isn’t.”

His words alone leave you slightly confused, but you get out of the car and as he walks on the other side, he has his hand out for you. “What am I supposed to do with that?”

“Grab it, we’re a couple, remember?” Oh yeah, you’re here as his girlfriend. Right. Hesitantly, you take your hand within his and interlock your fingers. You haven’t held his hand since you were kids, but damn did it feel right. His hand, obviously larger now, fits with yours perfectly and you shove down the butterflies that climb up your throat as the two of you go inside. The room was crowded, people everywhere leaving little room to actually get through. Haechan’s grip on your hand tightens as he guides you through the room and you can feel the stares of everyone on you as you two make your entrance. The two of you find your way through the main area and over to a slightly less crowded place where some familiar guys stand around a table playing beer pong.

“I want you to meet some guys.” He says loudly to make sure you can hear him over the music. You simply nod and stand a little closer to him as people walk past you. Haechan calls over a few guys you’ve only seen in passing, one very tall and the other slightly shorter with multi-colored hair. “Johnny, Taeyong, this is my girlfriend y/n, y/n, this is Johnny and Taeyong.” Johnny, the taller one gives you a sweet smile as he grabs your free hand and brings it to his lips. “Pleasure to meet you.” Taeyong laughs as he pats the others back. “Watch it, Haechan is giving you the death glare.” Haechan drops your hand as you shyly smile, wrapping his arm around your waist and resting his hand firmly on your hip. “It’s nice to finally meet you y/n.”

“You’ve heard of me before?”

Taeyong and Johnny exchange looks as they smirk. Haechan on the other hand turns his head as he begins to blush. “Lover boy over here talked about you nonstop when we first met him, i was starting to believe you weren’t real until he told us he finally asked you out.” Taeyong’s words came to you as a shock, not believing Haechan had talked about you to anyone before. “Believe me, he’s definitely down bad for you. You got a good one, Haechan.”

“I know.” He replies with a wide smile as you turn to face him, you’re definitely going to question him on this later. “We’re gonna go get a drink, I’ll catch up with y’all later.” His hand leaves your hip, immediately intertwining his fingers with yours as he gives both boys a hug. You wave them goodbye before Haechan leads you two into the kitchen. “Want anything?” He asks, looking over the table with a variety of alcoholic drinks. “I’ll take some water, I’m not sure if I wanna drink tonight.” He simply nods, respecting your choice as he himself grabs a beer. Just as you’re about to leave, you and haechan turn to see a girl walking in with her arm wrapped around the guy she was with.

“Haechanie, I didn’t know you were coming!”

Judging by how tense Haechan felt beside you, you can only assume that this was his ex, Bomi. “Uh, yeah, I didn’t think you’d be here either.” His tone was flat, but his face was mixed with pain and uninterest. “Yeah, I came with Kai, Kai this is Haechan.” Her smile was fake, even you could see that and the guy she was holding onto gave one similar as he replied with a hey. “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you there, and who are you?” Her eyes looked soft, but if you looked any closer you could see the burning flame behind that glossy coat. Her lips were turned upward into a smile, but you knew she was lying between her teeth to make you seem less important, to make you feel less important.

“I’m y/n, Haechan’s girlfriend.” You said, squeezing his hand in yours. Haechan came back to his senses, looking over at you with a fond smile. You could feel his gaze on you, but you wanted to mess with his ex a little more. “Who are you? I don’t think I caught your name.” Bomi laughed, a little too loud as she threw her head back a bit. “I’m Bomi, Haechanie’s ex.”

“Oh really, never heard of you.” Your lips purse up a little as you look over at Haechan, his eyes softening when yours lock with his. You honestly could get lost in them if you didn’t realize the amount of people who were staring at you right now. Your attention turns back to Bomi and her new arm candy, her cheerful expression now long gone. “Sorry, we were just stopping for a drink, but it was nice to meet you.” And with that, you guide Haechan from the kitchen and maneuver your way around with him in hand till you reach the stairs. Haechan had silently been following you, thoughts swimming around in his head. “You know a room we can go to that’s clean?”

“Moving pretty fast now aren’t we y/n.”

“Oh shut up, just get us somewhere quiet.”

Haechan smirks as he leads the two of you upstairs, going down a hallway till he stopped at a room and pulled his eyes from his pocket. With his free hand, he unlocks the door and walks inside with your hand still in his. “I lock it when I’m out so that no one can do anything unholy to my bed.” His words register in your brain, but you’re too distracted as you look around in the room. There were vinyls plastered onto the walls, wireless headphones sitting carefully on the side table next to his bed. Haechan drops his hand from yours, furrowing his brows at the lack of warmth that reaches his fingertips while opting to sit on the bean bag across from his bed. You sit down on his bed, noticing he too was already sitting.

Patting your thighs, you take a deep breath in to collect your thoughts from all that’s happened since you two got in while Haechan looks deep in his own head. “So, she’s something.” He laughs softly, fiddling with his fingers as he stares into his lap. “Yeah, she is.”

“And you talk about me?”

Leaning back into the bean bag, he looks at you through hooded eyes. “I did when I first got accepted in, they went around asking personal questions as a bonding experience and you were all I really knew so you naturally came to mind.” You’re fighting the frown as you think about how long you two have hated each other, almost forgetting why you two grew apart for so long. “You okay, after seeing her and all?” With his lips pressed together, he simply nods as he closes his eyes. “I’ll have to be, I mean she looked pretty pissed to see you with me, so that’s a step right?”

“Yeah, I guess.” It felt very awkward to be having such a deep conversation with him, but somehow it also felt right. Your silence is interrupted when your phone starts buzzing, pulling it from your pocket and bringing it to your ear to answer it. “Hello?”

“Hey, we’re here, where are you guys?” Yeongmin called you, you assumed from downstairs as you can hear the faint music through one ear and the louder music through the phone in the other. You mouth to haechan that they were downstairs and ended the call telling her you were on your way. The two of you interlock your hands before going back downstairs, looking for the girls within the crowd. From the staircase, you can barely see them on the dance floor and you signal to haechan to follow you. As you make your way through the sea of bodies against bodies, you see your friends laughing and holding hands as they dance together.

“This is so much fun!” Wonchae smiled at you as she and Yechae held each other close. “If you have any more parties, invite us again!” Yeongmin and Sin-ra smiled at you and haechan, giggling to each other as their favorite song was blasting from the speakers. Haechan drops his hand, turning you around with his hands on your hips. He leans in as he pulls you against him, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “Wanna dance?” There’s a faint blush on your cheeks as you simply nod, hesitantly wrapping your arms around his neck. The two of you fall into a rhythm and sway with each other for what feels like hours. After dancing for so long, you’re starting to feel the effects of the night and tell Haechan you’re ready to go home.

You lost the girls way earlier before you decided to leave, sending them a text to tell you when they make it in. Haechan leads you outside, the wind blowing slightly as you two step out of the party. You shiver slightly, rubbing your arms as you walk over to his car. Haechan notices the goosebumps on your skin, immediately taking his jacket off and throwing it over your shoulders. “You’re gonna catch a cold, take it back.” As you’re protesting, he simply shakes his head. “I’m alright for now, just keep it on so you won’t catch a cold.” The warmth of the leather silences you, walking around the front of his car and resting against the top as he stands in front of you.

“Did you at least have fun?”

“For my first college party, yeah I had fun.”

Haechan gasps as you look at him confused. “This was your first party?” You simply nod, chewing on your bottom lip before laughing softly. “As you can tell from my friends, we don’t get out much and the only other person i talk to is Mark.” Haechan steps closer to you, losing in the distance as he tilts your head towards him with his finger. “Let me at least make it memorable.” Your face is bright red as he leans in, pressing his lips against yours. You stay still, afraid that if you move, he’ll move and you hate to admit to yourself that you don’t want to move. His lips were soft against yours as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Your hands reach out for him, gripping the fabric of his shirt while his hand moves from your chin to cup the side of your cheek.

Haechan was the first to break contact, pulling back as he looked down at you. “How was that for a first college party?” You shake your head, letting go of his shirt to give him a slight shove. “Take me home, idiot.” He laughs as you stand from the hood of his car and the two of you get in, driving around to your hall before you go your separate ways.

The next few weeks go by smoothly, you and haechan seem to be fooling everyone with your physical touch and playful banter when you’re out together. He sits with you when you two go to the cafeteria, eating meals together during your breaks between classes. He’ll meet you at the neo cafe and order your drink for you before you arrive and if you’re tutoring Jaemin, he’ll bring you your drink and sit with you till you’re done. He’s made it a habit to bring you to Taco Bell after your tutoring sessions are over and you two even spend time in the library working on your project, but haechan doesn’t get much work done before he’s bugging you for attention. After all these years, you almost forgot how touchy he is, always grabbing your hand or resting his head on your shoulder and vice versa. The two of you have everyone fooled, even Mark.

“I still can’t wrap my head around you and haechan, I mean one day you were seconds away from ripping his throat out and now you’re giggling at his texts.”

You sheepishly smile as the two of you walk back to his dorm, holding your bag in your hand as you think how much has changed between you and Haechan. Even when you’re alone, he acts no different. He still grabs your hand, plays with your hair, complements you every morning and smiles at you as if every day was the first day you saw each other. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel any different towards him, but you always push those feelings down and remember how you got here. He wants her back, he doesn’t want you, and every time you think of them two wrapped up in each other's arms like how he does with you, it hurts a little more than it should.

“I guess people change, I mean we were friends for a while when we were kids, that played into it too.” You were being truthful, reminiscing on the crush you had on Haechan growing up. Never in a million years would you have told him that, but in a way you also never were given the chance to. Now, here you are with those same harbored feelings and still don’t have a clue with what to do with them. After this is all over, he’ll leave your life once again and you’ll be left to fill the void that no one has ever come close to when it comes to him. “Yeah, I’m just saying, it’s a little weird to me, but I’m happy that you’re happy.” You give Mark a playful shove as you two walk inside his hall and go up to his room. You and Mark haven’t had much time together since you and Haechan started ‘dating’ and today was one of the days you two planned on studying in silence till you both grew bored and ended up listening to music.

“What’s on the agenda today? I got a psych essay to get out of the way.”

“I have some more lab work to go over, but I’m essay free.”

Mark opens his door for you and follows behind as you set your bag down beside his desk. The two of you go about doing your work as your phone starts to buzz on the desktop. Picking it up, you see you have missed texts from Haechan and a few missed calls. Just as you’re about to call him back, his name pops across your screen. Swiping across your phone, you bring it to your ear. “Hey, I’m so sorry my phone was on silent and I just now—“

“Where are you? I’ve been waiting for you by your last class for hours.”

Judging by his tone, he seems annoyed. You felt guilty, forgetting to text him before you met up with Mark to let him know of your plans. “I’m so sorry, Mark and I met up and were studying in his room.” Haechan scoffs, rolling his eyes if you could see him. “I’m on my way, meet me in the car.” With that, he hung up as you let out a sigh. “Who was that?” You’re packing up your bags as you look over at the window. It’s raining outside and it doesn’t look like it’ll be letting up anytime soon. “Haechan, he called and wanted me to meet him outside, i kinda forgot to tell him I was coming with you and he’s kinda upset.” Mark gave you an apologetic smile to which you returned. “Be careful out there and don’t worry, I doubt he’s that mad, okay?”

You simply nod and bid him a goodbye before leaving his room and heading downstairs. When you go out the front doors, Haechan is already parked out front and you hold your bag to your chest to protect it from getting soaked as you run down to his car and quickly get inside. Haechan was gripping the wheel as he stared down at his lap, not looking your way once as you shut the door as you got in and placed your bag between your legs rather than in the back seat. “You okay hyuck?”

Haechan was quiet, you knew he was upset, but you’re starting to think there were underlying reasons as to why. “Why didn’t you tell me you were with Mark.” You bite your lip, furrowing your brows as you reach over to touch him. “I said i was sorry, it completely slipped my mind and I didn’t mean to not tell you, he just asked me if we could hang out since we haven’t recently.”

“How hard is it to send a simple text, y/n?” He definitely was pissed, his knuckles turning an off shade of white with how tight he was gripping the wheel. “Why are you so mad, you know Mark, it wasn’t like I was out with someone random?”

“I’m pissed because I had someone come up to me asking why my girlfriend was walking off giggling with some guy, you ever think of that?”

He’s unbelievable, he’s literally unbelievable. The nagging feeling that this whole situation wasn’t going to end well resurfaces without hesitation, leaving you with a sense of deja vu. “Fake girlfriend, did you forget that?” Haechan laughs, not a genuine laugh, but a laugh that almost felt forced. “You’re right, how could I forget, I mean you’ve done it before so I’m not surprised you’re doing it again.”

“Doing what exactly, donghyuck.”

“Stealing Mark away, taking all of his precious time and acting as if I don’t exist.” His words hit you hard, bringing you back to the day you two first parted ways. When Haechan first introduced you and Mark, there was no doubt in his mind that you two would get along and he was looking forward to spending his days with both of his closest friends, but even at such a young age, jealousy got the best of him. Upon meeting, you and Mark clicked as if you were meant to be friends, talking and laughing together while Haechan stood silently and felt lonely. He didn’t like how quickly you got along with Mark, he didn’t like how much he hated bringing you two together, he especially didn’t like how much resentment he felt towards you even if he didn’t know what he was feeling.

He told you he hated you that day, out of anger and hurt. Not once did he mean it, in fact there were so many times he had wished he never said it and turned the clocks back to keep him from hurting you so badly. The damage had already been done, tears falling down your young cheeks when he told you he had never wanted to be your friend again. You were confused, hurt and overall overwhelmed with the events that happened that day, but you turned your sadness into the same hatred he said he had for you and from then, the two of you never had a nice thing to say about one another. Now here you were, sitting in his car with the hopes of you two finally making progress gone.

“I don’t steal his time, he gives it to me, but you wouldn’t know that because you force people to be around you.” You didn’t mean it, you didn’t even want to say it, but haechan was prideful and used his words to hurt others when he was hurting and you weren’t going to let him win again. “Did you forget that I’m your first actual boyfriend and I’m not even dating you, it’s kind of pathetic you had to get a fake boyfriend to even know what it’s like to have one.” You didn’t realize when you started crying or why you were crying in the first place. Maybe it was because you were angry, angry that he was angry at you over something so little and so stupid. Maybe it was because he hurt you and continues to hurt you over and over and the lines between what was real and what was fake have been blurred.

“Fuck you haechan, I mean honestly, I thought maybe you’d change, maybe the boy i knew then was still there.” He still wasn’t looking at you, he couldn’t bring himself to meet your eyes and see the damage he’s done. “Maybe you didn’t know me at all.” He knew it before you said it, that everything the two of you had been building up to for nearly a month was all over. He didn’t want to believe till you said it, but deep down he knew. “Fuck this, fuck your stupid little plan to get your shitty ex back and fuck you.”

With that, you grabbed your bag and got out of his car, leaving Haechan with his thoughts and the tears that slid down his cheeks as he watched you walk away. Part of you wanted to go back inside to Mark’s room, but that would mean you’d have to explain everything and that was all too much for you to unpack right now. Instead, you walked back to your hall, soaking from head to toe by the time you made it to your room. Wonchae was sitting in her bed when you came in, immediately questioning you why you were soaking wet, but when she realized you were crying, she took you into her arms and held you till you settled down.

That night all the girls came over and stayed with you till you cried yourself to sleep. You had come clean to them all, telling them about the pretend dating to help him get his ex back all the way to your childhood with Haechan and even the fallout of your friendship. You even told them about the feelings you were harboring, sobbing through your broken words. They tried to reassure you, telling you that they believed there was something real between you and Haechan, but you couldn’t bring yourself to believe them, not after what you just went through with him. Thankfully for you, it was a weekend and you didn’t have classes till the following Monday and that meant you didn’t have to try and avoid him as much as possible.

By the beginning of the week, you do your best to dodge him in any way. You stopped going to the Neo cafe for the first week, Sin-ra taking the initiative to bring you your drink every morning before your first class. In the class you shared with him, at first you’d sit in the very back to avoid being near him and people quickly took notice. It wasn’t long before whispers started going around that you two had broken up and Mark was a part of some of the rumors. When he got wind of everything, you told him the same thing you told your friends and he apologized to you for everything. After so many years, he finally knew why you and Haechan stopped being friends and he felt responsible for that, but you reassured him that there was nothing he could’ve done then or now.

It was nearing your last week for your project and you’re sitting in your shared class with Haechan who was nowhere to be seen. As you’re leaving when the professor tells everyone class was dismissed, your professor stops you and asks you to stay behind. “I wanted you to know that Donghyuck already submitted his portion of the project, so I’ll only need the remaining 25% from you.” You’re confused and it’s evident on your face as you grip the bag over your shoulder. “I’m sorry, but we agreed to split it down the middle, what did he submit already?”

“Are you sure? He emailed me this morning and submitted the essay portion and said you’d do the final draft on the slide presentation. Get with him and let me know before the deadline.” You simply nod and bid him a farewell as you leave your last class for the day. There are so many thoughts in your head as you pull your phone from your pocket and just as you’re about to text Haechan, you bump into someone on your way out. “Oh I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, I’m so—y/n?”

When you look up from your phone, you see Johnny standing in front of you. He was a little taken aback to see you, but still happy that he ran into you. “Oh hey, what’s up?” The two of you make small talk as you stand outside the building, chatting about the little things in life. “Oh before I forget, you’re coming to the party tonight right?” You’re unsure what to tell him, your silence leaving open room to answer. “It’s okay if you can’t make it, Haechan said you two were working on a big project so I get why you haven’t been around, but if you come tonight we’d be happy to have you.” Hearing Haechan’s name felt almost foreign, having neither your friends or Mark even uttering his name over these last few weeks. “I’ll see if i can make it.” Johnny gives you a genuine smile before heading off and you two go your own ways. When you make it back to your hall, Wonchae and Yechae are sitting on Wonchae’s bed as they watch a movie on her laptop.

“Wanna watch the movie with us, I can put it on the tv?” You smile at Yechae’s offer, but simply shake your head. “I’m gonna go to sleep instead, thank you though.” You slip underneath your blanket and lay in bed till your eyes get too heavy to keep open anymore. You’re not sure what time it was when your phone starts going off, waking you from your peaceful sleep. Your fumble as you sit up in bed, grabbing your phone from your side table. Through tired eyes, you see an unknown number calling you and hesitantly, you slide across your phone to answer. “Hello?”

“Y/n, we need you here! Haechan is whining for you.” You recognize Johnny’s voice, the mention of Haechan’s name sending a rush of adrenaline through your body. “Where is he?” You try to be as quiet as you can, looking over at Wonchae and Yechae cuddling silently in her bed. “He’s upstairs, I kind of lost him when I was busy cleaning up his puke, but I managed to snatch his phone before he disappeared to call you.” With a heavy sigh, you climb out of bed and throw on a sweatshirt before telling Johnny you’re on your way. Without a car, you’d have to walk all the way to the frat house where the party was thrown, but it’d take too long for you to get there so you opt to run instead as you mentally thank yourself for taking track one year in high school.

As you’re reaching the doors to the house, you’re panting and out of breath while dragging yourself inside. Pretty much everyone was gone and the scattered cups on the ground gave you an idea of how the night went. Johnny was crouched down picking things up off the floor when you walked in, looking your way as you tried to catch your breath. “Oh hey y/n, you okay? You look kind of..sweaty.” You shook your head as your hands rested on your hips, taking in slow deep breaths to steady your breathing. “Where is he?” You were here to find Haechan, as much as you wanted to make small talk with Johnny, you were too tired to even try. “Check his room, Taeyong should still be up there with him.” Nodding, you drag your feet towards the staircase and tiredly make your way to the top. Going solely off memory, you walk down the hallway till you’re standing in front of Haechan’s room. From inside, you can hear faint crying and Taeyong’s voice.

Pushing the door open gently, you see Haechan sitting on his bed with a cup of water in his hand while Taeyong is sitting beside him. When he noticed your entrance, Taeyong stood up from the bed and silently walked towards you. He placed his hand gently on your shoulder before walking out of the room and shutting the door behind him. You stood in the middle of the room, staring at the boy who was silently sniffling as he stared down at his cup in his hand. “Do you have your keys, I can bring you to your room if you do.” He simply shook his head, gripping the cup in his hand. A sigh left your lips as you turned to his closet, rummaging through his clothes. “W-what are you doing?” You pull a shirt off a hanger, walking over to him. “You can’t sleep in that, it has liquids on it.” Haechan stays still, as if he was frozen in time. His body shook slightly every time he hiccuped, but he didn’t bother moving.

“Get changed please, I’ll leave so you can—“

“Please don’t leave me.”

You’re biting your bottom lip as you see his head rise, meeting his swollen and teary eyes. “Just for tonight, I just need you tonight.” He looked so sad, tears dried on his cheeks as he fought back the tears. You should’ve left, hell you shouldn’t have even come, but you needed to make sure he was okay and from the looks of it, he was far from it. “I’ll turn around, but you need to get out of your clothes and into something to sleep in.” Silently, he stands from his bed and sets the cup on his desktop. You handed him the shirt you grabbed from his closet, walking towards the door and facing away so that he could get dressed. After a few minutes pass, Haechan tells you he’s done and you turn around to him laying in his bed on one side, leaving space for you on the other.

Walking over after turning off the light, you pull back the blanket and slide into the space he’s left you. The two of you lay in silence, the moonlight shining through the cracks of his window cover. “I’m sorry.” Haechan’s voice was barely over a whisper, but neither of you could bring it to look at each other. “You’re drunk, you don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.” You could feel how tense he was beside you, if you reached out to him you were afraid he’d fall apart. “I’m sober enough to know what I'm saying and I need you to believe me on that.” You shift onto your side, tucking your underneath his pillow as your eyes fall to the side of his face. He can feel your gaze on him, waiting for him to continue. “I didn’t mean anything I said that day, even back when we were kids.

“I was jealous of your friendship with Mark, in a way I still am because he’s been by your side this whole time and because of my insecurities, I missed all of that.” You knew he had a hard time believing in people after he had been let down many times before, you understood where he was coming from, but that doesn’t justify his actions. “I’m sorry you had to come out here at this hour, I don’t remember much of what I said to the boys, but it was enough for them to call you and for that, i'm sorry for wasting your time.”

The light coming from his window was just enough for you to see the tear that slid from his eye down the side of his face. “Was she here tonight?” You knew it was none of your business, you had no right to be asking him this, but part of you needed to know. “Yeah.”

“Did you guys get back together, I mean that was the whole point of this right?”

Haechan turns on his side to face you, tucking his arm underneath his head to prop himself up to your eye level. “She tried, but I told her it was over when she left me for that guy.” You’re a bit taken aback, why did he turn her down? What was the point of all of this if it was not for him to win her back. “Why, didn’t you want her back?” Haechan’s eyes locked with yours, searching them for something to give him the confidence to go on. He could see it in your eyes, but for so long he had been too scared to ruin what you two were building. “Spending this time with you blurred everything around me y/n, she was what I thought I wanted, but it wasn’t till I lost you that I knew what I needed instead.”

You felt speechless, staring at him with parted lips. He had just confessed that you were what he wanted and that alone made your head feel dizzy. Now lies the difficult decision, to lie and pretend you don’t feel anything to protect yourself or run to him and trust that he’ll protect you instead and all the love you have in your heart for him. “Say something please.” Hesitantly, you bring a hand up to his face, brushing his hair back to get the best view of him as possible. “Looks like we have a problem.”

“And that is?”

“I broke one of the two rules we made, well technically I broke them both but the first rule was broken after you were an asshole.” Haechan sat up, propping himself on his elbow as he stared down at you. “Does that mean I can kiss you?” A smile spreads across his lips as he watches the light reflect in your eyes. You give him a nod, all the confirmation he needed to lean down and capture your lips within his. The kiss felt familiar, like he had done this a million times before. Your arm wraps around his neck, pulling him close to you as you tilted your head to deepen the kiss. The two of you healed a part of you that was long overdue, the two best friends within you now reunited. Now that you’re older, you not only have your best friend back, but the young boy you loved is too there beside you.

so for starters if you’ve gotten this far, why thank you pook 🥹i’m really sorry if the ending feels rushed, i’ve never written something this long before so i was struggling i tell ya🥲🫂 and i just wanna say ily and you’re doing great and if you liked it,, pls lmk! it always helps when you share your thoughts w me 🫶

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slightlymore · 1 year

Text

death of peace of mind

train conductor haechan x fem reader

genre: magiccore/miyazaki/tim burton, broad industrial revolution/victorian setting, romance, soulmates au, enemies (?) to lovers, !!slow burn!!, angst, smut, multiperspective

warnings and content: +18, explicit sexual content, virgin reader, fingering, unprotected, nipple play, biting, some level of corruption, sexual tension, oral fem receiving, hand job, pet names (darling, love, baby, my girl, my lady) and titles (Sir, Miss), begging, praise, spanking, sexual tension, gentlemanly and lady-like behaviour etc etc

words: 19k

other characters: mark as reader's friend, jeno for a moment, johnny mentioned

synopsis: The Train. That's where your parents met a few years before you were born and that's where your grandparents met as well as their parents before that. Oh to be grown and travel on the Train as well, meeting your soulmate and falling so madly in love that you'd become consumed by it. And there you were years later, your only travel case in your hand and your best dress on, standing in the Train Station at exactly 1:05am on the 1st of May. You looked up and let the night sky calm you down and when you looked back in front of you, the train was there. What were you supposed to do now? But then one door opened, engulfing you with the freshest flowery scent. The most gorgeous man you've ever seen in your life descended and tilted his hat lifting one gloved hand to guide you inside. "Welcome aboard, Miss."

for the lovers of dream sorter haechan

__________

When the curtains call the time

Will we both go home alive?

It wasn't hard to realize

Love's the death of peace of mind

The Train.

That's where your parents met a few years before you were born and that's where your grandparents met as well as their parents before that.

The tales of those encounters enriched your childhood and your fragile dreams. Oh, to be grown and travel on the Train as well, meeting your soulmate and falling so madly in love that you'd become consumed by it.

You’ve always desired it. You’ve always longed for it.

The teachers would get shiny eyes and beaming smiles on May 1st. You remembered the first time it happened. The air felt different and the town felt more alive than usual.

"Today is a special day for all of us," your parents also smiled at the breakfast table. They looked almost shy and they exchanged gazes they would usually let themselves have in a more private moment.

You were in your first year of elementary school but from what you could understand, that day sounded like a big deal for the adults and it started to be a big deal for you as well.

"This is the day when people go on a Journey to find their soulmate," the teacher repeated what you've already heard at home.

The Train, the children would whisper, the giddiness in their voices making you almost escape your skin with excitement.

"Can we go and see it?" you asked with your heart in your throat from the emotion. You really wanted to see all the young adults go to the Train Station and embark.

The teacher smiled as if that was the most common question asked. "Unfortunately, it's a very private moment. But when you're ready, you will finally see the Train and you will find the love of your life during the Journey."

You were an only child so besides your parents' tale of how starstruck they both felt upon seeing each other on the Train, you had no other immediate example of how the experience would go.

"My brother Johnny said the place they ended up in is way more gorgeous than our town," one of your classmates and your best friend said one time. "But not as gorgeous as his partner, he said,” making a throwing-up motion with his fingers.

A choir of grossed out children made you giggle at the time and you joined them, but deep inside you knew that it was indeed possible to meet a person more gorgeous than the most gorgeous place on earth.

You wanted that. You desperately wanted that.

Your parents also said their towns of origin weren't as beautiful as the one you were living in and although you could objectively see it was decently cute and cozy you were sure they felt that way because of the rosy love glasses.

"Why do I have to leave this place when I find my soulmate?" you wondered one time as you were growing older and having more and more thoughts about the Journey.

Your mom patted your head. "When you find the love of your life the Train stops and lets you both off. The couple has to live in the place they ended up in."

"What if I want to come home?" you argued.

"Your partner will be your home," your dad explained with a fond smile. "We will see each other often the way you see all of your grandparents. Don't worry about missing us."

"Also it is too soon for you to think so deeply about it," your mom chuckled, pulling at your cheek.

Yet, there you were years later, your only suitcase in your hand, which you bought for the occasion, and your best dress on, standing in the Train Station and feeling like the too soon came, well, too soon.

Your mom helped you put on some makeup as well that day and you had to admit you were feeling pretty cute.

But oh so anxious.

You couldn’t believe you were about to initiate the Journey on the Train. Thoughts of how your soulmate looked like adorned your mind since you could remember but in the latest months you found yourself fantasizing about them more and more.

But with the pretty thoughts, some thoughts of doom would send rocks to your mind as well feeding your anxiety even further.

The mixed emotions made you uneasy.

"What if there's no soulmate for me?" you looked yourself in the mirror as your mom finished her last touches on your hair.

"Nonsense," she reassured you.

"But has it happened before?" you insisted.

She sighed. "Yes but it's very rare. What happens, in that case, is that you need to come back home and you need to go on the Journey the following year."

"And are there people who went on for many years and they met no one?"

"Not as far as I know. Everyone met someone sooner or later. Your grandma met your grandpa after 3 years."

You exhaled. Maybe you'd just go on a little train ride and come home before sunset.

Maybe you'll also need 3 years.

Maybe no one would fall in love with you ever.

You expected the Station to be full of people but it was completely empty.

"Don't worry about it. The Station doesn't let you see your friends until you're all on."

You bit your lower lip and waited. There was no moon on the sky and the stars were very visible.

You looked up and let the night sky calm you down and when you looked back in front of you, the Train was there.

"Heavens," you swallowed the little surprising gasp and looked to your right then left feeling your breath accelerate. You didn’t hear it arrive.

What were you supposed to do now? Was it supposed to feel this ominous?

But then one door opened with a slow hiss, engulfing you with the freshest flowery scent.

The most gorgeous man you've ever seen in your life descended and tilted his hat lifting one gloved hand to guide you inside.

"Welcome aboard, Miss."

His hair was black and a bit longer in the back. Your father would have said it looked a bit messy; he’d probably offer some gel and suggested him to comb it backwards. But the man wore it so well that you found yourself thinking how it would feel like to pass your hand through it and mess it up even further.

“Thank you,” you replied quietly. Then you cleared your throat and tried again.

The man’s face was a polite mask, not one muscle of his perfect face twitching or moving. On the contrary, you felt your face in flames as you walked near him to enter the wagon.

“Please, choose the coach you’re most attracted to,” you heard his voice behind you. The fresh flowery perfume followed you both and you realized it was his scent. Taking a few steps forward you found yourself shaking ever so slightly.

“Who are you?” you turned around before having a chance to look down the dark but cosily illuminated wooden corridor of the train.

His chest was so close that you could see the little silvery tag on it. Conductor.

Then you took a step back not realizing how close he was.

“I apologize for not having introduced myself earlier. I am the Conductor, Miss,” he simply replied. “I’ll be around the Train if you need me. Also, if you ring the bell you’ll find in every wagon."

His eyes were a dark shade of marine blue, you realized, like the ocean during a storm, when you can’t distinguish between the water and the sky.

Your grandpa told you many tales of his life at sea. He used to say it was the most beautiful and terrifying thing, and at the time you didn’t understand how something scary could be beautiful, but that man’s eyes made a shiver go down your spine yet you didn’t want him to stop looking at you.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I'll leave you to get comfortable,” he tilted his hat again, making a shadow appear over his eyes, as if reading your mind and seeing your fascination with them.

You gave him a little bow as well, as your mother has been teaching you it was polite to do when meeting gentlemen, then you stared at the way he turned around and took the opposite direction in the tight corridor. His shoulders almost touched the walls when he walked and his legs looked extremely long in his black uniform.

The coach you chose was the first on your left, a luxurious dark brown space, with deep bordeaux seats which you realized were softer than any other material you’ve ever felt before. You placed your suitcase on the designated space and sat down, looking at the windows showing your town’s Train Station, then you inhaled and exhaled looking down at your dress and rubbing your lace-gloved hands together.

What were you supposed to do?

Would your soulmate come barging in your coach?

Would you meet over breakfast in the morning?

Why were you all supposed to go at exactly 1:05am?

You suppressed a yawn wondering where you were expected to sleep, then with the corner of your eye you noticed the curtains slowly close and you gasped feeling the train depart at the same time.

Your older cousins liked to joke about ghosts roaming around the Train but you thought you were grown already to believe such things. Yet, the movement felt uncanny and you were so on edge that you haven’t realized you were squished against one of the seats’ corners until a ding made you scream.

On the little table a small card boarded with gold appeared out of thin air.

“Dear Miss, you are invited for Breakfast in the Dining Car. Please turn the card around for the Train map. My warmest regards, the Conductor”

You touched the paper with your fingertip as if it were a poisonous snake and the ink smudged a bit as if it has been freshly written.

Breakfast? At 1am? Maybe he meant tomorrow morning?

You turned the card around as instructed and the display for the train was illustrated. A little “you are here” red mark told you that your wagon was the one in the middle of the train.

You wondered how did the Conductor know you chose that specific coach when he left you just a few minutes prior and didn’t even check back.

The Dining car was towards the head of the train, the direction in which the Conductor walked, and the name Steam Locomotive adorned the first car. You wondered if he was in there or if his coach was one of the wagons close by.

The train was moving swiftly so it wasn’t bothering you as you thought it would. The closed curtains made you sad that you couldn’t see the scenery so you got up and extended your hand towards them, trying to perhaps see the machinery through which they were able to close on their own.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” a voice made you jump in place.

“Mark!” you turned around and walked the few steps towards the door to hug a very dumbfounded young man.

“Hey, hey, you okay?” he awkwardly stood there even after you retrieved your arms from his neck and stared him up and down.

“I was so scared to be alone. It’s good to see your face,” you explained.

Johnny’s younger brother has been your best friend and the one you spoke about the Train Journey the most growing up. You were still ashamed to remember the way you cried for the whole night the time Mark told you his brother hasn’t come home from the Journey because he has found his soulmate. You had a very intense childhood crush on him.

“I get it,” he smiled then his eyes went down to eye your dress, then up, noticing your prettily arranged hair and makeup.

Then he sighed, almost disappointed.

Without realizing you touched your cheek. Did he think you were ugly?

“What?” you blinked at him.

Mark shook his head. “I just-,” he started then interrupted himself, a bright dust of red moving in towards his cheeks and ears. “I thought that maybe you could be- you know-sometimes it happens that even friends-”

You blinked at him then you felt your own face on fire. “Oh,” you realized what he wanted to say. The scarf you tied around your neck made it difficult for you to breathe.

“Well,” he scratched the back of his head. “I guess we’re not soulmates. That, of course, if you didn’t feel anything in particular either.”

“I felt relief,” you said.

Mark nodded, agreeing with you. “I was also just glad to see a friend.”

Was he disappointed you weren’t his soulmate? Or was he happy it wasn’t you?

“Same.”

The following silence made him clear his voice once then his eyes fell on the card in your hands.

“Oh, I got one too. I was wondering if it was a prank inviting me over for breakfast. I was going towards the Dining Car to at least check it out.”

“Right? I thought I was the one misunderstanding the invite,” you chuckled. “I’ll come with you now if you don't mind.”

Mark took a few steps back to let you exit the coach and his eyes fell on the window again. “My parents said that if you open the curtains when the train is moving you’ll be forced to descend in the first place you see. Alone. Without the possibility to return on the Train ever again.”

A shiver ran down your body at his words.

“There’s also a warning,” he indicated with his chin.

You followed the direction and noticed the golden plate near the curtains.

You could have sworn it wasn’t there before.

_________

The corridor was gorgeously decorated with fresh flowers and paintings. You and Mark took your time to peek into most of the coaches too, giggling a bit when you noticed some of their residents weren’t alone.

“How long do you think it takes for people to meet everyone on the train?” Mark asked, impressed that some were already coupled.

You thought about it. “The train stops in every town, doesn’t it? There's so many people. I feel like even a few weeks."

Mark winced. “That’s a long time. My parents met within 15 minutes of boarding. They had neighbouring coaches.”

“My parents met after a few days,” you recalled. “My maternal grandparents met after three years of trying.”

Your friend hummed. “That’s hard. I’d be losing hope.”

You swallowed the dry lump. “That’s a bit scary, yes.”

You didn’t want to tell him that you were afraid you might end up just like them.

The Entertainment wagons were about five, and you both held your breaths when entering the first as it was roaming with people. The strangers’ faces turned towards you both with inquisitive eyes, as if checking if one of you were their soulmate.

You bit your lower lip taking a few steps inside.

“What exactly do you think we need to feel when meeting the one?” you whispered as some people sighed and turned around, sign you weren’t interesting.

“No clue. But it has to be something,” Mark answered. “Maybe a sharp feeling. Awe. Even fear?”

“Fear? Why would I be afraid if I meet my soulmate?” you both walked slowly, staring at the board games people were playing.

Mark hummed. “Not actual fear. More so like the fear you get right before sliding down with a sleigh. It’s scary but you know it will feel very nice.”

The example made you chuckle and it broke some of the tension you were feeling. Then his words actually arrived to your brain.

Like the fear before sliding down with a sleigh…

…or the fear when you see a sea storm.

You shook your head and exited the coach to enter the rest.

_________

“I can’t believe there’s actual breakfast,” Mark repeated for the third time already, cheeks full with eggs and bacon.

You giggled, impressed by your own appetite so late at night. Or early in the morning?

“The train has different time zones than your town of origin,” a voice explained.

The scent came first and it froze you in place, the piece of banana you were about to devour still in mid-air.

Mark lifted his gaze to the side and greeted the voice.

“I hope everything is to your liking,” the Conductor added. When you put the banana down on your plate and looked up, he was already looking at you. His stormy eyes were slightly squeezed in an attempt to look polite. His uniform looked impeccable as usual and with his hands clasped behind his back his chest popped underneath it.

You forced yourself to look away.

“Yes, thank you. The train is gorgeous,” you said.

The Conductor smiled a bit more. “And I hope this is a congratulatory meal?” he asked, looking at Mark for a moment as well, who furrowed his eyebrows.

“Oh,” you shook your hands, realizing what he meant. “No no, it’s not like that.”

“We’re just friends,” Mark butt in, a bit scandalized.

You nodded fervently. “Classmates. From the same town.”

“Yes. Our coaches are close-by and we just found each other.”

The Conductor listened to one then the other, looking at both of you intermittently with his everlasting smile. “Well, then. I’m glad you enjoy each other’s company. I wish for you to find your soulmate when the time comes as well.”

You and Mark both thanked him and watched the Conductor bow enough for his eyes to get the same shadow you saw the first time you met him.

But he lifted his gaze to look at you this time. Slowly, letting his long lashes fan on his cheeks for a moment.

The pupils were very deep and you imagined yourself drowning in the almost black blue of his irises.

You couldn’t bring yourself to turn around and look at his back as he walked away to greet other passengers.

You couldn’t even bring yourself to reach and grab the fork because your hands were tightly clasped together on your lap to hide how badly they were shaking.

_________

On your way back Mark got welcomed by his male friend group in the third Entertainment wagon. Some of them had new faces around and from their shy gazes, you assumed they met their partners already. Some were alone and in the mood to party.

Mark invited you to stay but you decided to go back to your coach and have some rest.

You wished to be able to party like Mark did. In the end, for him that was also a well deserved holiday after spending most of his days helping his father with the lands. Many thought the same and not everyone wanted to go on the Journey to meet an actual soulmate. For a lot of people it was a nice break from studying or work and that was it.

But you felt uneasy to be that free-spirited, and you needed time alone to understand what was going on. After all, you’ve been day dreaming about the Journey and the Train your whole life. And now that the desired moment arrived there was something off about it all.

And you couldn’t point it out.

You’ve never felt more relieved to enter your coach and see a fluffy small bed in one of the seats’ places. You sat on it and you also found it very comfortable. How it got there you had no idea and by that time you decided to stop asking yourself questions on how that Train actually worked.

The spring dress you chose for yourself was easy to slip into but quite hard to undo, you realized, grunting a few times as you tried to untie the light corset. When you managed to open it you exhaled deeply and you let it fall to your feet.

Then your eyes darted towards the warning sign near the window as you slowly got under the covers.

Curiosity killed the cat but you really wanted to know what was behind those curtains and why you weren’t allowed to know.

Before you could realize that you didn’t brush your teeth or wash your face, the train stopped and you opened your eyes in the silence.

“Thank you for traveling with us. I wish you happiness,” the Conductor’s voice was muffled outside your window and you remembered your coach was the first near the main train entrance.

Did someone already get off as a couple? Or was that someone who looked outside and was now forced to live alone?

You walked slowly and stealthy and you were about to turn the corner to where the entrance you came in was when the voices stopped you in place.

They were many, perhaps six different ones, thanking the Conductor and chatting away, making already plans for the future. Imagining you in their place gave you anxiety - after all they all met a few hours ago and already thought of getting married - but you were also glad they were all soulmate couples and not any forsaken person who went against the rules.

Somehow, you also felt a but envious that it has been that quick and smooth for them.

The Conductor’s back was towards you and you looked at his long fingers behind his back as he greeted the people away. His white gloves covered them and for some reason you wondered how they looked like naked. His waist was visibly smaller than his shoulders and the spine line descended so beautifully that you felt the urge to draw him, although you were no artist.

You shook your head trying to get rid of thouse thoughts and realized that in the meantime the chatter died down as the passengers walked towards the Station.

The Conductor was still outside, probably seeing them away for good before departing, and his scent was slowly engulfing you the more you remained in his presence.

You swallowed. How could a man smell that good?

Then you realized you had a full-on view of the Station so you squatted down behind the corner and tried to make sense of what was outside. That was your only chance, you figured.

“You know that’s forbidden, right?” the man’s smooth voice made you jolt.

The Conductor was still standing stoically without looking back and you let your gaze fall around as to understand who he was addressing, because he definitely couldn’t have seen you.

“Yes. I’m talking to you, Miss,” he turned around enough for you to see his relaxed expression.

You could see only half of his face and the only visible eyebrow was lifted in a way that made his gaze look- well, sexy, you realized with a certain degree of embarrassment.

You got up and took a step forwards. “Well, I am not looking out through a window, so it is not technically forbidden. There’s not a sign near the entrance telling me I can't do this.”

The Conductor turned around fully. His lazy gaze rested on your face then slowly went down your body and stopped on your nude feet. His eyebrow lifted even more. You wigled your toes in embarrassment.

“I forgot to bring shoes,” you mumbled, your burst of confidence suddenly dying down.

“And a dressing gown,” he added, his pupils darting back down to your chest and hips in the almost sheer underdress you were wearing to sleep. “And some common sense,” he added, locking eyes with you.

You crossed your arms on your chest to prevent him from looking any further. Then you lifted your chin in disdain at his last phrase.

“That’s not very polite of you. Gentlemen avert their eyes.”

“Tell me, Miss. What prevents me from grabbing you and making you descend here in this town with the excuse of you not following the rules?”

You gulped. “Common sense, of course. Why would you even do that?”

“Why not? Maybe I forgot to bring it with me the way you did coming here.”

You let your arms fall down in anger. “That would be very inappropriate and illegal!”

“Says who?” he smirked. “There’s no warning near the door saying I can’t do that.”

You bit your lower lip. “I get it. I should not be here. But you can’t push me out of the train. That would be barbaric.”

The Conductor stepped back inside in one fluid movement. “Usually passengers rest in their coaches or entertain themselves with the others in an attempt to find their soulmate. They don’t go wandering about.”

You dropped your gaze to his chest as he was getting way too close for your liking.

And when he unbuttoned his jacket, slowly, and let it slide off his shoulders and fall on yours instead, you visibly shuddered.

It was warm and big, and it smelled like him. Like that overwhelming flowery perfume.

You felt dizzy.

“I was just curious,” you whispered, feeling like a little child being scolded. But the Conductor’s expression was warm when you dared to look at his face again.

His lips were full and plump and you felt a tight lump in your throat seeing them move.

“Go back to sleep, Miss.”

His deep voice rang in your head the whole time you washed your face and brushed your teeth, feeling it incredibly warm. You let his jacket fall on the seat in front of your bed but as you slid under the covers you wore it again, and nuzzled you face into the material.

_________

In the morning, or what you felt was morning, you wore another dress you packed, a deep blue one you instinctively chose with little black flowers around the crown of it.

Some people were walking against you in the corridor and you could audibly hear them stop their breathing as you locked eyes.

They were wondering if you were their soulmate.

Yesterday you would have walked slowly and looked around shyly as well, but today all you wanted to do was to bring the Conductor his jacket back and all of those people were just in your way.

You were about to start pushing against people’s shoulders when Mark’s head pocked out of a coach and his ruffled hair made you realized he just woke up.

Not in his bed.

“Mark Lee!” you stopped in place.

“Fuck,” he blinked at you. “You out of all people. I mean, so nice to see you-”

“Did you find your soul-”

Mark exited the coach quickly and closed the door behind him. “Shh,” he was about to place one hand on your mouth but then looked at it and put it behind his back instead.

“Let’s not- do not say anything.”

You blinked at him. “Are you telling me that-”

“Maybe,” he interrupted you again. “Listen, people here are gorgeous. There’s no need to save myself for marriage or anything.”

Your jaw fell. “Mark Lee, did you just sleep with some random woman?”

He scratched one eyebrow. “Did I offend your sensibility?”

“You’re just some man, aren’t you?” you looked him up and down. “Whatever. Have fun,” you rolled your eyes and started to walk again. “And wash that hand, would you?”

“How do you even know-”

“I wasn’t born yesterday,” you turned around to quickly let your tongue out at him.

“Is that the Conductor’s jacket?” he asked before you could exit the car.

“No? I just found it around,” you answered quickly, leaving him behind with his questions.

The Conductor said you had no common sense but you had enough common sense to know that being seen around with his jacket would somehow be a mistake. He was the one who didn’t have the common sense to know to not send you to bed with it.

Lost in your thoughts you didn’t realize how far up the train you arrived and when the cars started to be empty safe for storage items you stopped in place to catch your breath.

It was very silent up there, the only sound coming from the rails outside and the steam locomotive.

You were close. And you had no idea why you knew that.

The walk towards the locomotive was slow and the spaces less fancy. Some coaches were on your right and you wondered if perhaps the Conductor was in one of them.

Or maybe you were stupid and he was way back in the train, doing his job.

When you felt like that damned train didn’t even have an end, in front of you a big dark door with a skull on it indicating some type of danger opened and the swish of fresh flowers made you close your eyes for a moment.

The Conductor’s head was tilted to the side as if amused.

“I see that this time you’re decently dressed,” he said, the his gaze fell on your chest. “Almost.”

You gulped and put on a brave expression. “I came to give you this back. Thank you.”

The man looked at the jacket you were holding and reached towards it slowly. His fingertips touched your knuckles for a brief moment and it made you so tense that you felt your head pulsating.

“You could have rung the bell. There was no need to come all the way up here.”

You let the air come out your nostrils. “You always scold me. You should be thankful I brought this back to you.”

“I am scolding you because you keep taking the most convoluted decisions instead of the straight forward ones.”

The informal conversation and the lack of Miss from his part made you nervous so you tried to look around his shoulder to see if any staff, or worse, the train driver could hear it.

Although you found his tone aggravating you didn’t want him to lose his job or anything.

“So you didn’t make me come because you were curious to see the Locomotive instead,” the Conductor added, seeing you snoop your nose around.

You straightened your back. “I was just trying to see if someone was listening to your inappropriate comments towards a passenger and a lady.”

The Conductor smiled and took a step to the side. “No one is here.”

For a second you forgot about him, the curiosity of how that Train actually worked exciting you more. “Who drives this then?” you stepped in and looked around the small space.

“No one,” the man explained and his breath caressed the back of your neck. When you looked behind your shoulder you realized he was staring at the goosebumps on your exposed skin.

“Why is there a chair here, then?” you cleared your throat and walked around it.

The Conductor wore his jacket and put his hands on the back of the big chair. “I like to sit here and look outside.”

You lifted your gaze towards the small window in front of you. You hadn’t even realized you could see outside.

“Do you want to try and sit down?” he asked.

You bit your lower lip. “Would that be alright?”

“I thought you didn’t care for rules,” he smirked.

You lifted your chin and sat down. It wasn’t much, just the railroad in front of you and some trees on each side. But it was peaceful and your curiosity got fully fed.

Now you wondered when it was the time to be killed like a cat.

“Why are you really here, Miss?”

The Conductor’s voice was so close to your ear that your spine curved. But you didn’t move away.

“Don’t-” you gulped. “Don’t flatter yourself or anything. I came here because I was curious and I had to give your jacket back.”

His index finger touched one of your hairs near the ear and you jolted in place, moving your head away. The man was smiling. He was holding a small feather that was probably stuck there.

“I hope you’re satisfied at all times, Miss,” he replied. “And I am here to make sure all of your future needs are fulfilled as well.”

That tone and those polite words were meant to be professional yet your mind went to Mark’s ruffled hair and half naked body. You imagined the Conductor’s dark hair on your pillow and his scent engulfing you all as his touch made your spine curve. And his hand, would he also use his hands on you like Mark did with his woman?

You shook the thoughts out of your head and got up quickly, feeling it hard to breathe in that narrow space.

“Thank you. I will leave now,” you voice was wavering and if he noticed it he didn’t say anything about it.

“I hope you have a pleasant journey,” he wished as you exited the car.

He didn’t mention anything about finding a soulmate this time.

__________

Your scent lingered on Haechan’s body the whole day.

It was in his hair, his nostrils, his skin, around his neck and his hands. He wondered if you slept with his jacket the whole night and the thought of your naked body pressed against the material of it made him almost knock heads with a passenger.

“Good day to you, Sir,” he tilted his hat last minute.

The young man barely noticed him, as his eyes were directed towards another person in the corner of the car.

Haechan was very acustomed to that gaze. He saw it every day for the past few years - the look of someone madly in love at first sight.

That was how your eyes looked like the first instant he saw you on the platform waiting for the Train.

Waiting for him.

He wondered how that gaze looked on his face but he was sure you didn’t notice it.

He wasn’t even sure it was there in the first place.

His instincts got the best of him and he worked on autopilot. Polite face, good smile, distance.

Hell, he even took the sign away from your windows for five minutes. But then you almost opened the damn curtains - as he intended for you to - and he realized he couldn’t physically let you go.

It was probably a mistake, he thought the first seconds of seeing you. He took the job of the Conductor because his old grandpa couldn’t work anymore. Haechan lived on that train since he could remember. It was always him and his old grandpa, in the middle of the swarm of people looking for soulmates. It made him sick to death to see all that love around him.

I wish you didn’t hate your parents for falling in love, Haechan, his grandpa used to say.

But it would have been different if they fell in love with each other.

But they didn’t.

The boy has been told the tale of his family of Conductors many times. It was a curse, they said. No one in his family had soulmates and they were tasked with assisting the Train instead.

How did you and grandma decide to be together then? small Haechan asked at the time.

Sometimes you just choose who to spend your life with. This is how your parents met as well. Your father came on this train often and never met his soulmate. Your mother understood he might be a good husband choice so she approached him and that’s how they got together.

But then dad met another woman on the train and left my mom.

The grandpa sighed deeply. He just met his soulmate. He didn’t do anything wrong.

Haechan as a child couldn’t know what to say to that.

He knew something was not right but he didn’t have the vocabulary to argue back.

But as a teenager he finally understood.

He abandoned my mom, your daughter, and he abandoned me. Don’t speak about that man ever again.

Haechan’s grandpa would only sigh and pat his shoulder. You’re growing into a fine young man. I am proud of you. And I am sorry that happened. When you’ll meet your person you’ll understand their choices.

I will never understand it because I don’t have a soulmate. And I surely as hell won’t marry a woman that might meet her rightful soulmate years later and leave me.

Your grandma never left me, he used to remind him. And I wish for you to have children. Who’s going to assist this Train otherwise?

To hell with this fucking Train, Haechan would explode and run away.

He didn’t hate the Train.

It was his home.

So when he’d calm down, sitting on the outside metal stairs and looking at the scenery no one besides him and grandpa were allowed to see, he’d realize he didn’t hate his parents either.

His mom remarried and left the Train after dad left.

Haechan wasn’t sure if she was actually in love although from her letters she seemed happy, but the memories of her time closed off in a coach on the verge of death were still haunting him. Haechan stopped reading his father’s letters altogether and started to burn them in the Locomotive.

A young woman approached him and Haechan shook off the memories and the convoluted thoughts about you from his head.

“How may I help you, Miss?” he placed his hands behind his back with the best custom service expression plastered on his face.

The woman seemed embarrassed.

“If you need anything, please, don’t hesitate to ask me,” he tried to reassure her.

She inhaled and took a step forward. Haechan leaned down to hear her better. “Well, you know how you said the coaches makes appear everything that you want? I was-, well, I met a man and- I know he’s not my soulmate but it’s not against the rules and we’re doing fine together for now and we were well, we were wondering how to make- how not to-”

“Get pregnant?” Haechan simply asked and the woman’s pale face turned purple from embarrassment.

She surely didn’t expect him to be that straightforward. “Usually if you really don’t want that to happen, it doesn't,” Haechan continued. “If you’ve encountered difficulties then maybe you or your partner have-,” he interrupted himself. “-a breeding kink?”

The young woman placed her palms to her cheeks and gave him a little bow. “I understand. I think I need to go now, Sir. Thank you, Sir.”

“You just have to-” Haechan tried again but the woman already ran away.

“I see I’m not the only one you’re being not so professional with,” a voice made him turn around.

__________

You were on your way for lunch. Or dinner? You lost track of time. You’ve been on that Train for less than 24 hours yet you felt like a lifetime already passed. To think you had to stay there until meeting your soulmate made you almost throw up.

“I thought you were very excited to meet your soulmate,” Mark commented that morning, eyes closed under the fake sun in the fake seaside car.

You sighed.

“I am.”

You were.

Or you thought you were. But somehow you lost interest. You imagined yourself inside the Train for so long that the moment you actually got on it it all lost meaning.

And how was it possible that none of the men looked interesting enough to even have a mere conversation? The only ones approaching you were trying to get under your dress and you soon realized that romance was not the way you imagined it to be.

“You don’t sound like excited. It’s as if you can’t wait to get off of here,” he opened one eye then turned to his side to see you better. “If you haven’t met the one yet, then what about enjoying it to the fullest until you can? It’s a place with free food and entertainment.”

You gave him the side eye. “I do not intend to sleep around with random men. I’m a lady.”

Mark rolled his eyes. “I’m also a gentleman and going down on people doesn’t make me less gentle.”

You almost spat your water. The Train somehow made everyone change or it opened your innocent eyes because you had no idea your childhood friend had that side of him.

“Did you really not find anyone who’s kinda attractive? You don’t even have to know his name,” he insisted.

Actually, there was a man whose name you didn’t know who you found very attractive. That was probably the worst part of that experience. Was it normal to be attracted to the Conductor like that?

You shook your head. “Nonsense. I will wait for my soulmate. And no, no one around is attractive enough.”

Mark exhaled and went back to his previous position. “I just don’t like seeing you sad.”

“I’m not sad.”

“Then angry.”

“I’m not angry.”

“You’re angry now.”

“Because you’re pissing me off,” you sat up. “I’m going to eat.”

You were already too confused for your liking. You didn’t need Mark Lee to investigate further.

The desire to have a soulmate was still there deep inside, the longiness and the need, yet for some reason you also felt numb to everything around you.

Still feeling like Mark rubbed you the wrong way you almost missed the figures of the Conductor leaning down to whisper in a young gorgeous’ woman’s ear in the middle of the Library wagon.

The woman seemed scandalized and so red that she looked like a tomato. The Conductor’s face was unfazed but a bit confused as she ran away.

“I see I’m not the only one you’re being not so professional with,” you couldn’t help but say.

The car was empty safe for the two of you and when he turned around you smelled his ever present scent.

It drove you insane. What kind of damn cologne was that man wearing?

“What do you go flirting with passengers for?” you crossed your arms on your chest. Maybe Mark was right and you were actually angry but seeing the Conductor’s face just added to the whole irritation, especially catching him flirting with your shy women.

The Conductor tilted his head to the side as if genuinely surprised but also intrigued at your reaction.

“What if someone else besides me saw you? What would happen to your position and reputation?” you went on.

The man took his time to open his mouth and talk. “I don’t understand if you’re mad at me or if you’re worried for me.”

You lifted your chin. “Maybe both.”

“It takes a good amount of care for both. Do you care about me?”

He took a few steps towards you and the closeness made his voice quieter.

You didn’t let him intimidate you with his charm.

“I was raised a lady of good principles and seeing the Conductor of a Train meant to help people find their soulmates flirt with its passengers is not appropriate and I have to speak on it.”

The Conductor’s smile widened. “And lurking at the time of descent in a skimpy night gown and nude feet is appropriate?”

His dark blue eyes were more stormy than usual and the moles on his face reminded you of the nightsky above you as you were waiting for the Train.

“Coming all the way to my coach with a dizzying cleavage is appropriate?”

His voice was so deep and close that you had to avert your gaze to catch your breath.

“Shaking like this in my presence and being unable to look me in the face is appropriate?” he whispered so close to your lips that you inhaled and took a few steps back.

“You’re also here to find a soulmate, Miss. Concentrate on doing that and leave other people’s business to themselves,” he added in his usual calm voice and walking around you he left you breathless and alone in the middle of the Library.

________

Haechan reached for his tie to undo the knot and he realized his fingers were slightly shaking.

Your scent made him more on edge than usual and the fact he could still smell you on his jacket made him unreasonable mad.

And your face and expression, your hurt eyes seeng him talk to that woman, as if you were jealous, was driving him insane.

What were you thinking roaming around him like that? With your delicate blue dress and your cleavage moving up and down in that damn corset with every quick breath your took?

He should have let you move the curtains and never see you again.

Haechan walked the distance from the entrance door of the car to the Bar and without caring about anyone he walked behind it and poured himself a shot of whiskey.

“Hard day?” a voice made him sigh deeply before turning around.

He forced himself to smile. “I am not in service right now,” he lied to excuse his drinking on the job.

The young man waved his hand. “No one would care anyway. They’re either on a date or uhh fucking.”

“Would you like one?” Haechan indicated the bottle, ignoring the man’s choice of words.

The other nodded. “I’m Jeno.”

He expected Haechan’s name in return but the Conductor never tells his name to passengers. “I hope you’re enjoying your stay,” Haechan said instead, pushing a glass towards Jeno.

The latter took it and winced after downing it. “I’m not here for that. I’m actually a journalist.”

Haechan fought the urge to roll his eyes. There was one of two of them every year trying to gather some kind of hidden information about the Train. Haechan also thought there were some secrets about it growing up but it was a pretty straight forward thing. Just a Train in which you can meet your soulmate. Nothing more.

Well, that until he met you and your scent got under his skin.

“Is there something specific you’re writing about?” Haechan politely asked.

“Is it true that soulmates understand they’re soulmates because of each other’s scent?” he asked, and a writing pad materialized in front of him.

Haechan eyed his pen ready to take notes then his face. “You should ask the passengers. I am not someone who has a soulmate.”

“So it’s true that the Conductor has no soulmate.”

“Yes. It’s not a secret.”

Jeno nodded, not writing anything as if that wasn’t the information he was actually seeking out of him.

“My parents said there’s no such thing as scent. They’re also divorced,” he said.

Haechan sighed. Another young man hurt by that Train and his parents. “Sometimes people come here and go home together even if they’re not sure they’re actual soulmates. Maybe your parents mistook their union for a soulmate bond but it was just infatuation.”

“Shouldn’t this place guarantee a soulmate union?” Jeno asked. He looked very angry and Haechan could understand why. “What’s the purpose of this Train then? Let people choose each other on land at this point.”

“It’s called free choice. The Train knows who’s an actual soulmate pair and usually it doesn’t stop for couples who are not actually bonded. This is why the train is not stopping now for all the people who are- uh, fucking.” Haechan was too exhausted to choose a more gentlemanly term for that.

Jeno didn’t seem to care. “Then why did it stop for my parents?”

“They probably insisted for it to stop. The Train doesn’t go against the free choice.”

Jeno poured another shot, gave it to Haechan and took a deep gulp straight from the bottle.

“Nice chat, Conductor. Can I ask to leave now?”

Haechan kept quiet for a moment. “You should stay until you meet someone or until the Journey comes to an end. If you leave now you will not be allowed to come back.”

“There’s no such thing,” Jeno whispered and got up, walking towards the windows. With one quick hand he moved the curtains away. The Train stopped slowly on its tracks and Haechan sighed.

“Please follow me. I’ll escort you to the exit for going against the rules."

__________

Is it true that soulmates understand they’re soulmates because of each other’s scent?

That phrase has been haunting you for the following hours.

You were rolling in bed from the moment you decided to try and sleep after pacing your coach for a while.

You didn’t mean to eavesdrop.

You didn’t even mean to follow the Conductor but his pace was urgent and the curiosity still hasn’t killed you, especially after that heated conversation you had in the Library.

Shaking in his presence and being unable to look him in the face? He could see that? What was going on and why were you feeling like committing the biggest crime you could think of?

No, why was the Conductor with his deep eyes and his pillowy lips and his smooth voice the only thing you could think of when you were on that dam Train to find your soulmate?

The Conductor walked towards the Bar and you remained back in the smaller corridor, watching his throat gulp that brown liquid like it was water. Why did he look so upset? Was it you? Or was it his missed opportunity with that lady that you interrupted?

You felt stupid spying him like that and you were about to turn around and walk away when the voice of a second man made you stop in your tracks.

I’m actually a journalist, the man said and you wondered what the Conductor would say back. Would he accept to give the journalist information?

Is it true that soulmates understand they’re soulmates because of each other’s scent? You felt your blood turn to ice. What did he mean by that? Scents? Your parents didn’t tell you anything about that.

But then the following exchange of information made you feel even worse.

You should ask the passengers. I am not someone who has a soulmate.

So it’s true that the Conductor has no soulmate.

Yes. It’s not a secret.

Mark looked like a baby chick with his hair ruffled around his face. But you could tell it was from simple sleeping and not messing around with someone’s daughter’s insides.

You pushed him back into his coach after he opened the door and you sat down.

“Wow, when I told you to look around and decide who to fuck I didn’t think that someone would be-”

You interrupted him. “Mark, tell me everything you know about the Train, soulmates, and-” you stopped for a second, “the Conductor.”

Mark blinked hard as if unable to keep his eyes open and laid back in his bed. “It’s the middle of the night.”

“Actually I’ve been trying to keep track of the time and it should be middle of the afternoon.”

“Well, everything here is fucked and for me it’s middle of the night. Why are you so curious all of a sudden?”

You sighed and relaxed in the dark red velvety couch. “Have you ever heard of people feeling their soulmate’s scent more that other people’s?”

Mark hummed, one hand to scratch his forehead. “Yes. Johnny talked about it but at the time I thought it was something stupid people in love notice about each other. He said his partner smelled like patchouli and warm spices.”

You lifted your legs up to warm them under your night gown. “And your parents?”

“Dad said mom smells like lavender and mom said dad smells like woody herbal amber or something like that,” he chuckled, shaking his head.

He then opened his eyes and got up to sit, mirroring you. “Why? Did you meet someone whose scent is intense for you?”

You wondered if telling him the truth. “No, I just-” you played with a loose string along the hem of your gown, “I overheard a man talking about his parents never mentioning any scent and they’re divorced now.”

Mark leaned forwards. “Are you worried that your parents are not real soulmates since they also never mentioned scents?”

Actually that didn’t even cross your head but you realized that might be a possibility. You didn’t want your parents to divorce or anything.

“Oh, come on. I’m sure that’s not the case at all,” Mark came to sit beside you and wrapped your shoulders with his arms. You weren’t there because of your parents but Mark felt warm and comfortable to lean on so you didn’t correct him.

“What about the Conductor?” he then asked and you hoped he couldn’t feel the way you tensioned in his hold. “What did you want to know?”

You gulped and sat straight, letting Mark’s arms fall to your waist instead. “I’ve heard he doesn't have a soulmate.”

Mark nodded. “I’ve heard that too. Honestly I thought he would be some kind of very ancient man. At least, my parents said he’s very old, but maybe this is a new one.”

You kept quiet, biting your lower lip.

“What is it that you’re not telling me?” Mark whispered.

You lifted your gaze and his big sparkly eyes gave you the courage to open your mouth.

“If the Conductor has no soulmate, and soulmates feel each other’s scent, then why do I feel the Conductor’s scent everywhere I go?”

________

After Mark collected his jaw from the floor and you kept him up brainstorming the whole night, you met both early in the morning over breakfast to further discuss the possibility of you and the Conductor being soulmates.

“Not to put you down or anything,” he repeated, “but I’ve never heard of anyone bonding with the Conductor.”

You sighed staring down your coffee with no desire to drink it but knowing it would wake you up.

“I know, Mark, this is why I’m so dumbfounded.”

“I mean, also the original Conductor was a mummy of an old man. Maybe that’s why no one bonded with him. Maybe he was married already and that's how the rumour of him not having a soulmate started.”

You had a sip of the bitter liquid and winced. You were glad Mark was playing devil’s advocate with himself because you had no more force to discuss all the different points of view.

“I don’t even think it matters. He warned me multiple times to leave him alone and find a soulmate. How would being soulmates with him even work? Where would the Train stop? Would I be forced to stay here? Being the Conductress? Forever?” you felt like descending into madness.

“Listen, calm down. I think the solution is to check it myself first. We find him, I smell him. If it’s just his high quality cologne then you can put your mind at ease.”

You didn’t want to ask what would happen if he couldn’t smell anything but maybe your desperate eyes told him your feelings because he sighed.

“And if I don’t smell anything, I try to rizz him up and I’ll be like dang you look like you know your cologne. Can you show me your collection? And I go to his coach and I smell all of the bottles and if it’s any of them we know it’s just his perfume and not his actual scent.”

You opened your mouth.

“And-” he interrupted lifting one finger, “if it’s none of them then we will come back here and brainstorm together. He’s an attractive man. Maybe you’re just sexually attracted to him. I bet that if you tried and fucked-”

“I will not fuck the Conductor,” you said, perhaps too loudly. You both looked around.

You lowered your voice. “I don’t know what’s going on but having that kind of relation with him doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

Mark leaned back in his chair. “Okay then. I’ll start by going on with my plan then we’ll see.”

You exhaled and nodded once. “That sounds like such a stupid plan.”

Mark’s smile widened. “At least something fun is happening in this stupid Train besides drinking and sleeping around.”

________

Haechan finished his morning routine walk across all wagons and sighed looking at his pocket watch. Soon everyone would be done with breakfast and would go about their business. He had to go and assist in the enternatinment wagons in some time as well.

Then he felt a pair of eyes on his back and lifted one eyebrow.

“What can I do for you, sir?” he turned around to see your little friend fake confidence leaning on a wall.

If Haechan didn’t know better he’d think the young man was trying to flirt.

“Oh, hello there Conductor. Or maybe I should say-” Mark stopped his phrase as if waiting for Haechan to say his name.

“Conductor is fine,” he smiled, joining his gloved hands together in front of him.

“Right right. I will not push any boundaries. I was just wondering, like from a gentleman to another gentleman, if you can aid me choosing a cologne.”

Whatever Haechan expected that man to say it wasn’t that.

He had to suppress a laugh.

“A cologne, sir?”

Mark walked around him casually. “I mean, I am here to meet a soulmate and I thought damn what if I don’t smell good? That’s my biggest fear actually, you know?” he put his hand on the chest to convey how intensely he felt about not smelling good.

“When you’ll meet your soulmate, sir, they will think you smell like their favourite scent, so no need to worry.”

Mark stopped in his tracks and his stupid fake expression fell. “You said soulmates smell like their favourite scents just now?”

Haechan exhaled. “That’s what I said, sir.” He really hated repeating himself.

Mark kept looking at him so Haechan was about to excuse himself and bid the weird man farewell but then the awareness of his behaviour washed over him like a cold wave and he stopped in place.

Haechan lifted his gaze and met Mark’s intense black eyes.

“Are you not curious why I am asking you about scents, Mister Conductor?” his voice suddenly became lower.

“I am not a curious man, sir,” Haechan straightened his tie with the intention of leaving. He didn’t like where all of that was going.

But Mark took a step to the side, blocking his way.

“So what’s your favourite scent?”

Haechan fought the urge to grab the dude and physically move him away. “I like clean and fresh scents, sir.”

“And what does Y/N smell like?”

Haechan put his tongue in the cheek and flared his nostrils. “I wouldn’t know.”

_________

Mark thought about keeping this all a secret from you. Being soulmates with the Conductor of the Soulmates Train didn’t sound like a great time. It was like falling in love with Death when it comes to kill you. But he wasn’t going to be a bad friend.

He told you to wait in the Seaside wagon in hopes you could relax hearing the sea waves, but when he entered he found you fidgeting instead.

“How did it go?” you walked up to him but he exhaled and dragged you towards the lounge chairs.

He didn’t know what you wanted to hear, if confirmation that the Conductor was your soulmate, or if you wanted nothing to do with him.

“First of all, he doesn’t smell like anything to me,” Mark said. “He just has a normal clean person scent. Like any other person.”

You swallowed and inhaled shakily, letting the information sink in.

“Second of all, he said soulmates smell like each other’s favourite scents.”

You opened your mouth but nothing came out of it.

“What does he smell like to you, Y/N? Is it flowers?”

Mark knew you’ve always loved that scent. The sweet but fresh perfume of flowers with their infinite colours.

He didn’t need you to answer, he saw it in your pupils. You watched Mark close his eyes for a moment and exhale then open them again.

“It’s not all,” he said. “He behaved weirdly when I mentioned you. I have a hunch that he can sense your scent as well.”

________

I think you should talk about it together, Mark suggested, but you couldn’t just do that, could you? He was the Conductor after all. Such thing was impossible.

Also, for how much you loved Mark, risking such improper behaviour only because of a hunch was too much for you.

You thought you were afraid of not finding a soulmate. Growing up that has been your everlasting fear; yet your brain has never even taken into consideration the perspective of finding your soulmate in a man you could not have.

For how much you’ve been wanting to see him, bump into him, or exchange a few stupid words to each other in the past days, your felt the same equal amount of desire to avoid him at all costs.

You thought you wanted Mark to come back and tell you that it was just the Conductor’s overbearing cologne. You wanted him to say he smelt it too and that is confirmation that he couldn’t possibly be your soulmate.

Yet when he fed your idea that the Conductor might be your man the relief was so intense that you almost cried.

It drove you insane.

The following days you haven’t seen the Conductor once. Perhaps the encounter with Mark made him uncomfortable and he decided to avoid you as well. What if he though you were some kind of creep? He did warn you to leave him alone and concentrate on finding a soulmate instead. Was it possible to have a one sided soulmate?

Somehow you felt like that situation was all your fault. Maybe that was the death moment of the curiousity saying, because you kinda felt like dying slowly if you thought about any other man. Maybe if you didn’t go to see the descending moment, maybe if you didn’t sleep with his jacket, maybe if you didn’t go and find him in the Locomotive, maybe if you didn’t confront him in the Library, you wouldn’t feel like that.

Maybe maybe maybe.

“I know this is not good friend advice, but you could get your mind off of him by, you know, using someone else,” Mark shrugged, peeling an apple with a knife.

You sighed, pulling your summer hat lower on your eyes. The seaside car soon became you and Mark’s favourite. “You know what? Maybe you’re right.”

“You finally gave in my temptation?” he wigled his eyebrows.

“Yes. You’re the little devil sitting on my shoulder.”

Mark cut a piece of apple and ate it off the knife. “I can introduce you to some fine gentlemen.”

You snorted. “I saw the gentlemen you have around Mark Lee.”

“And? Are they not fine?”

“You can have them.”

Mark rolled his eyes. “Do you want to have fun or not?”

“I do. But I’m not sure if fucking random men is what I consider peak of amusement,” you replied. Mark didn’t say anything so you kept going. “Although, I noticed that the light brow hair man is not bad. I think his name is Jaehyun. He has nice hands and a great smile. I do enjoy a good dimple.”

You expected Mark to laugh at you but he remained quiet safe for a little nudge he gave you. You sighed. “The other J name man is not bad either. He’s tall and he looks gentle like a puppy.”

“Uhm,” Mark said and nudged you again.

“What? You said I should sleep with one of them,” you slid away the hat to give him a venomous side eye when your mouth dropped open.

Mark was looking at you with a little tight smile and in front of you, almost covering the artificial sun of the wagon, was standing the Conductor.

“I apologize, Miss. I didn’t want to interrupt your- uh lovely monologue,” he tilted his stupid hat.

You sat up feeling your body on fire. Then you looked at Mark who gave you a small apologetic smile.

Your mouth was dry and you had no idea what was the appropriate thing to say to someone who overheard you talk about fornication.

His scent should have told you he was there, but maybe you got so used to it that you were feeling it everywhere, messing with your perceptions.

“Good day, sir,” you stupidly said.

“I was just making sure you’re enjoying your stay,” the Conductor looked at you first, then Mark. “From your conversation I assume everything is fine.” His eyes looked black in the shadow and the little line between his eyebrow looked like a crack in his otherwise perfect face.

You gulped and bit your lower lip.

“Just a precaution. I told this the lady that stopped me in the Library the other day also, if you remember. As a contraceptive, please make sure to strongly desire to not get pregnant, so the Train can take care of you.”

________

The fact that useless friend of yours ambushed him like that told Haechan that you probably felt his scent everywhere as well.

And you must have spoken about it in such a way that made Mark investigate.

It made Haechan’s fingers tingle and they’d tingle ever more when he’d slid them underneath his covers at night, and fuck his fist to the image of you until he had to push his face into the pillow to muffle his groans.

Everything was a mess and for the first time in his life Haechan didn’t know what to do.

The letter he wrote his grandpa asking for advice was still unsent, looking at him from his desk.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to expose himself like that to his family. His grandpa would be nothing but supportive.

I knew you’d find a partner. See, now you understand it. It makes sense how your parents felt, doesn’t it?

Because no. Haechan didn’t understand it and his parents’ behaviour still didn’t make sense to him. Also, he hated to hear others say I told you so.

But also, his family never mentioned the possibility of a full-on soulmate. They said someone random. Someone that couldn’t find anyone else. Someone who would accept Haechan as a second choice.

He rolled in bed, the stickiness of his desire still coating his hand. Then he huffed and got up to wash.

His desire. It was such a foreign feeling to him to leave him breathless.

Yet it felt so familiar that he felt like he could finally breathe deeply. It felt like things were finally right, like he was finally home.

That morning he didn’t follow with his duties thoroughly as usual. The Train stopped twice and he looked behind his shoulder to check whether you were there, in your skimpy underdress and nude feet.

But you weren’t.

He tried to ignore you for the past few days and apparently you were doing the same.

Yet, he could feel your scent in the whole Train, as if you’ve just left the wagon he entered.

He wondered if you felt him everywhere as well.

In the afternoon, he couldn’t take it anymore so he followed the trail. He would just give you a short look, something to further fuel his autodestructive night fantasies.

You were in the Seaside car, as usual, your dress ridden up your thighs on that chaise longue and Haechan wondered how could Mark concentrate on cutting that apple without cutting his finger when you looked like that besides him.

“I know this is not good friend advice, but you could get your mind off of him by, you know, using someone else,” Mark shrugged.

Haechan stopped in place. He wasn’t eavesdropping. You were talking loudly enough for everyone to hear. But he didn’t want you to sense him.

You wanted to get your mind off of whom? Haechan?

“You know what? Maybe you’re right,” you replied and Haechan tightened his fist in his white glove. The image of you sleeping with someone else suddenly appeared in front of Haechan’s irises made the seaside car look like the north pole instead.

“You finally gave in my temptation?” that useless fellow asked and Haechan has never wanted to have a fist fight with a passenger more.

Of course, he wondered already if Mark was your soulmate and you both dumb idiots didn’t notice.

Maybe that’s why Mark even inquired about scents in the first place.

But why was Haechan sensing your scent if you were taken and why did the Train not stop for you two if that was the case?

Could the Conductors curse be that cruel? Making Haechan fall in love with a woman he could not have?

“I can introduce you to some fine gentlemen,” Mark said and Haechan didn’t know if he should feel relieved Mark wasn’t offering himself for your entertainment or be jealous at the idea of someone else touching you.

He decided to intervene.

“I do. But I’m not sure if fucking random men is what I consider peak of amusement,” you replied right when Mark lifted his gaze and a piece of apple fell from his mouth on the fine sand at his feet.

Haechan gave him a venomous look and opened his mouth to interrupt your scandalous monologue.

But you went on. “Although, I noticed that the light brow hair man is not bad. I think his name is Jaehyun. He has nice hands and a great smile. I do enjoy a good dimple.”

Haechan felt his jaw muscles twitch. “The other J name man is not bad either. He’s tall and he looks gentle like a puppy,” you continued.

Mark had the decency to look scared.

“I apologize, Miss. I didn’t want to interrupt your lovely monologue,” Haechan finally said as you finally realized what was going on.

He came there like a thirsty man to have a single drop of water and you were thinking of sleeping with other men instead.

Haechan felt like stopping the Train and descending himself.

Your eyes were glossy when you looked up at him, maybe from the sun but also from the embarrassment.

Haechan felt like making you feel even worse.

________

Your gaze followed the Conductor’s spine as he exited the wagon and you let a single pained whine as you burrowed your face into your palms.

“Mark Lee.”

The poor Mark got up and away from you as if he could sense you might take your frustration out on him.

“It’s not my fault.”

You let your hands fall in your lap. “Now he thinks I’m a whore.”

“I don’t think that changes anything. You don’t need his opinion or approval.”

You got up with another whine. “He ignored me for days and now that he approached me again he overheard me talk about who of your friends I might fuck.”

Mark finished his apple. “Hey. Wasn’t that your intention? Getting rid of him? Forgetting him?”

You exhaled.

Yes, but why did it feel so bad?

_______

They all eyed you the following night - the first ball party of the season, the little card said.

This time the ink didn’t smudge when it appeared on your nightstand out of thin air and it didn’t look like it was written by hand.

One detail made you bite your lower lip. Wear masks, the card said.

The car that was hosting it was huge and you realized it must have been some sort of optical illusion to make the space feel so big. The center was empty and you assumed it was for dancing. Most people were standing near the refreshment tables or near the walls and the exciting but nervous air made your skin shiver. Everyone from the train was there and you realized it was the perfect moment to meet a soulmate.

With uncertain feet in your high heels you reached towards the drinks but the glasses didn’t move from the tray.

“You need to say what you want and the glass unglues itself,” the Conductor said and his long fingers appeared in front of you. They wrapped the leg of a glass. “Champagne,” he said and the glass remained in his hand.

You didn’t dare to look at him. “I didn’t know Conductors were allowed to drink,” you tried, remembering the time he felt the need to have that wiskey shot in the bar.

“How do you know I am the Conductor?” he asked. His voice was low but light and amused.

You turned around quickly to see a black mask, leaving nothing but an anonymous jawline and a pair of lips. His hair was covered by a silver crown and in his elegant suit no one could have noticed who he was.

But you did.

You cursed at yourself.

The Conductor leaned closer. “Is it because of my scent?” he whispered.

You gulped and looked away towards the drinks tray.

“So you admit it,” you murmured, wondering if someone was looking at you.

“Admit what?” he asked.

The crowd of people cheered and you assumed a new couple formed.

The intermission helped you cool your head.

“I don’t know the names of all the drinks,” you changed subject.

The Conductor didn’t seem surprised. “Which one do you want?”

“I don’t know. The least dangerous looking one.”

“Bubbles,” he ordered and then gave you the glass full of sparkly liquid. It smelled fruity.

“Thank you,” you said.

“Do you always go for the least dangerous looking thing?” he turned around and looked towards the hall.

Some brave couples started to dance and you enjoyed the way the ladies gowns flowed under the golden lights.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?” he smiled once before taking a sip of his drink.

“Yes,” you took a sip of your bubbles as well. They buzzed on your tongue.

“So you didn’t avoid me because you were afraid of me the past few days.”

It wasn’t a question.

“You knew where to find me if you wanted to see one of your passengers. This is your Train.”

The Conductor let his gaze fall on your face. “I did find you. You were talking about very interesting arguments.”

You gimaced, thinking of the Seaside Wagon incident. “It was just talk. I did not-” you started to explain the you realized how stupid it sounded trying to justify your actions, or non-actions, to him.

The Conductor sipped from his drink in silence. You couldn’t read his face normally, and with that mask you really had no idea what he was thinking.

“Are you upset I didn’t contact you all of these days?” he asked instead. "It was my understanding you were trying to forget someone by engaging in those actions and I am self centred enough to think that someone was me."

His honesty left you breathless. You considered lying. Admitting it would have been too humiliating. “No. I understand why you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me.”

“Which is?”

“I look like a crazy woman who claims you’re her soulmate because you smell like flowers,” you blurted out before realizing what you just said.

Your hands in your white lacey gloves started to shake.

The man remained quiet for a moment then he chuckled. “Really? I smell that nice to you?”

You exhaled. “This is not a laughing matter.”

The Conductor analyzed your expression. “I apologize. I didn’t realize how this made you feel.”

His tone gave you the courage to look him in the eyes. Even behind the mask they looked alive, torbid like the dark deep sea.

But looking was a mistake.

“I suppose it’s something common for you,” you inhaled, starting to hate the everlasting flowers perfume surrounding him. “Women with soulmate claims over you, that is,” you explained.

The Conductor looked in front of himself and took another sip. “Yes. I am a charming man afterall.”

You hated him. Was he punishing you? Or did he actually not care about you at all?

“Well, I avoided you because I wanted to say I had no claims. Take this as a compliment on you smelling decently and let’s move on.”

“And what moving on means for you?” he inquired.

“Acting as normal Train Conductor and Passenger,” you took another sip of your bubbles. It started to taste too sour.

“Tonight many couples will make the Train stop,” he announced. “Would you like to see?”

You turned towards him and you locked eyes. “Does that sound like normal Conductor and Passenger behaviour to you?”

The young man laughed at your scolding. “I just know you’re curious.”

“Why would you be kind to me like that? Do you want to push me out of the Train as you’ve expressed your interests towards doing before?”

“I wouldn’t mind getting rid of you actually,” he joked and you could tell he didn’t mean it.

But the tears that secretly collected in your eyes during that conversation were close to falling to your cheeks. You left his side quickly but not before hearing him call out your name.

________

Y/N.

For some reason you thought he didn’t even know the names of every passenger.

Was that normal behaviour? From Miss to nothing to your actual first name.

He pissed you off.

He pissed you off so badly that the tears streaming down your cheeks were tears of anger, you decided.

“Oh heavens. Are you alright, dear?” a young woman stopped in tracks with her man.

“Yes, thank you, Miss,” you bowed a little holding your skirts. You wanted to get out of that car.

No. You wanted to get out of the damn Train.

Was it normal for love to hurt like that? Was all of that even love?

You had no idea afterall.

Everyone said you would just know and everything would fall into place. You’d have the best experience and make the Train stop to settle down with the love of your life. Then why all of those people felt like nothing around you and the only man your heart ached for you couldn’t have?

“Hey hey hey,” Mark stopped you by putting his hands on your shoulders.

You were barely seeing where you were walking.

“What happened?” he asked. “Did you see him?”

Bless Mark and his everknowing third eye.

You gave him a little nod and he pouted his lips, holding you into his arms. “There there. It’s alright. It’s okay.”

The people walking around you gave you some looks as they tried to reach the ball hall but you didn’t care.

“Mark, can you be my soulmate so we can go home and live together in a cottage?” you joked, your voice was muffled against his shoulder and you heard him chuckle.

“Actually-” he trailed off and you let him go, rubbing your eyes and finally eying the person on his side who was patiently waiting for you to calm down.

“I want to introduce you to my-” he added then interrupted himself again, looking at the smiling person with eyes you’ve never saw him have. “-the love of my life,” he finished.

________

Your coach felt like the safest place on earth and your cell at the same time.

After the congratulatory moments and after starting to cry again because you realized how happy you were for your best friend to have found the person he was going to spend his life with, the sad tears came along again as you realized that he was probably going to leave the Train that same evening.

We’ll come visiting often. Afterall I’m leaving my parents and friends behind as well and I want to see them again, he assured you.

You sighed and sat down on your bed.

The reflection the mirror in the corner gave you back made you jolt a bit. You cleaned the running mascara from your cheeks and laid down waiting for the Train to stop, trying to empty your brain.

The Conductor’s voice echoing in your head couldn’t let you fall asleep. Why was he behaving like that? Was he that cruel? Couldn’t he actual see what was going on?

When the Train’s rumbling stopped and you heard the chatter of some couples walking down the corridor you sat back up and opened the coach’s door.

Mark squeezed you in a tight hug then gave you a thumbs up as he passed in front of you with his luggage and, after some other people, you saw the Conductor closing the line.

He stopped in front of your door and opened his mouth as you locked eyes but then he probaby changed his mind because he closed it soon after in a tight line and followed the rest of the people.

You remained quiet behind his back and none of the passengers looked like minding having another spectator, so deeply lost in their partner’s eyes.

“Thank you for traveling with us. I wish you happiness,” the Conductor said, repeating the same phrase you heard him say that first time you witnessed a passengers descent.

Mark lifted his hand to wave and you exhaled, waving back, feeling tears prick your eyes as he turned around and walked towards the Station.

The Conductor remained there for the following moments and you somehow knew he did it for you.

“He’ll do fine,” he said after a moment of quiet.

“I know,” you simply replied.

“Y/N,” he turned around and you inhaled taking a step back.

“Don’t call me by my name. We’re not on those terms.”

The Conductor hesitated but then he took a step inside and the doors closed behind him.

Your gaze was on his shiny shoes so he hunched his back a little to make you look at his face instead.

The cry and the other events calmed you down by now but seeing his face made all of those feelings resurface.

You forced yourself to look at his eyes the way he cleary wanted you to.

“My name is Haechan,” he murmured straightening his back. “Would that make us be on those terms now?”

Your fingers fidgeted at the sound of his name and your lips fought the urge to say it out loud.

“Why?” you asked instead. “Why are you being mean to me?”

“I’m not trying to be mean,” he got closer to you and you took a few steps back again.

“I don’t want to be close to you. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to be on first name terms with you. I wish for you to leave me alone if you don’t want anything to do with me.”

Haechan kept moving forward as you moved back until you hit the wall with your blades. He got as close as to rest his palms near your head on the wooden wall.

And when he leaned in and rubbed your cheek with the tip of his nose you forgot how to breathe.

“You smell like fresh cotton and linen,” he whispered with the most desperate tone you heard a man speak. It was so tender that it clouded your mind. “It engulfed me the same instant I opened the doors that night. You’re not insane, I feel it too.”

He straightened his back and looked you in the eyes. “The soulmate bond,” he added. “This is why you’re irritable when you’re away from me. This is why no one seems interesting to you, why this Journey feels boring. It’s not because you haven’t met the one yet. It’s because you have.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat.

“And? What now?” you didn’t let his sweet words sway you although all you wanted was for him to wrap his arms around you and press those pillowy lips on yours.

“The truth is I am as lost as you are,” he let his arms fall to his sides. “This is not supposed to happen.”

“I figured.”

“I come from the Conductors family,” he started. “Traditionally we do not have soulmates. Our people-” he stopped, as if unsure of how to explain. “-breed by choosing random people they want to be with. Sometimes the couples stay together. Sometimes they don’t if the person who’s not from this family actually meets their rightful soulmate.”

“Do you know of anyone who separated that way?” you asked although from his eyes you could tell that he did.

“My parents.”

You bit your lower lip. “I am sorry,” you wrapped your nudes arms.

“Are you cold?” he asked but you cut him off seeing his hands going to unbutton his outwear.

“Don’t you dare giving me your jacket,” you warned him. “It-” you stopped suddenly very embarrassed. “-was a lot to handle the first time,” you settled for, as drove me insane felt too much.

“I know,” he looked as nervous and for a moment it made you feel better. You also never realized how young he was. He was probably just around your age. “It made me feel a certain well, too,” he added.

You looked behind him and you realized your coach was just around the corner. Haechan let you walk around him and open the door, grabbing a shawl to put around your shoulders.

“Come inside. It’s warmer here,” you let your head peek around the corner.

Haechan felt too big for your coach, you realized, seeing him sitting on the deep dark chairs.

As if knowing to not give you any kind of temptation, there was no bed inside.

You made a mental note to ask Haechan how did the Train knew such stuff.

“I am as unprepared as you are,” he spoke after a while, resuming his discourse.

You knew that conversation was due to happen but it didn’t make you feel less nervous.

“My grandfather never mentioned something like this happen to me. He just assumed I might end up seeing someone with no soulmate. My grandmother was one of them and they haven’t separated. Although now I wonder if she met someone else and actively chose my grandfather instead because of some kind of principle sentiment.”

All of that raw information made your heart ache. You’ve never thought about the Conductor’s family growing up. You’ve never ever heard of people with no soulmate whatsoever.

“Would that be that bad?” you asked in a tiny voice.

His eyes were fiery when he looked at you but you knew he wasn’t mad at you. “Would you enjoy the thought of someone being with you because they feel sorry or because of a promise they made although they’re madly in love with someone else?”

You gulped and looked down at your hands in your lap.

“You think that would be our situation?”

The man didn’t reply. You took it for a yes.

“Or are you afraid I’d leave you after a while? Because you think you’re not my actual soulmate?”

“I don’t know,” he exhaled. “You’d think for a Conductor of the Soulmates Train I’d be more well versed in these heart affairs,” he chuckled bitterly.

He closed his eyes and you felt brave enough to stare at his face. You’ve never had the opportunity to see his features for that long. He was so gorgeous that your heart felt like bleeding and the thought of you meeting someone else that would make you feel more than that that felt inimaginable. The thought of him with some other woman felt even worse.

“If I can’t have you-” you started unable to keep your mouth shut. “I think I’ll just not have anyone else. I can’t even imagine-”

The man smiled and opened his eyes. They were the same deep blue that made you feel like suffocating the first time you saw them. “I am flattered you think this way now.”

“I’m not going to change my mind.”

“I love a challenge.”

He was pissing you off. You told him just that.

His laugh was so pristine that you felt a little smile bloom on your face as well.

“Then what? I’ll just finish this Journey and go home? Then I’ll see you next year? Does this make sense to you?” you tried to reason.

His story was so sad that it made your heart bleed but the relief that washed over you felt so good that it was making you dizzy. He was into you too. He could sense your scent too. He desired you too. You would not let him go away.

“Sounds good,” he replied with a tiny breathy voice.

You rolled your eyes. “No, it doesn’t.”

“Then what? You wish to stay here with me? Forever? On the Train?” he asked instead.

You bit your lower lip. “Where do you stay when it’s not Soulmates season?”

Haechan sat lower on the chair and his extended and spread legs made you curse at yourself for finding that attractive. “I live on the Train. Always had.”

“You just stay here alone? The whole year?” you leaned in surprised.

The man shrugged. “I had my Grandpa before. It wasn’t that bad. And I don’t know another world besides this one so I don’t miss it.”

“Where is he now?”

Haechan looked towards the window as if actually seeing what was behind that curtain. He probably knew what was behind it, you realized.

“He’s living with my mother. He couldn’t work anymore as he was too old.”

You leaned back in your chair as well and lifted your legs to rest them near him.

Haechan turned his head towards them and lifted one hand, letting his fingers trail the arch of one of them making you twitch.

He looked at your surprised expression and his eyelashes were heavy on his eyes.

Then he inserted two fingers between the hem of one of his white gloves and took it off, letting it fall to the ground. Then he did the same with his other hand.

You couldn’t speak.

No, you couldn’t think.

His fingers were slender and his touch was warm as he caressed your arch again, this time making you fully shiver. Seeing his bare hands shouldn’t have made you feel that way.

“Haechan,” you murmured, maybe as a warning, or maybe because you simply wanted to say his name.

“Y/N,” he said back, taking your feet and placing them on top of one of his thighs. He then looked down at them, slowly touching your ankles too, going up as much as he could reach which was too much for your dizzy head giving the crampness of the coach. You could have sworn it wasn’t so small before.

You hummed as he reached your knee, letting your skirts fall to your thighs in the movement. And when he reached the clasps of your garter keeping the tights up you jolted.

“I don’t think we should be doing this,” your voice wavered.

“I know,” he breathed out, yet his hands didn’t move away and you didn’t push them away either.

They kept going up, over your skirts this time until reaching the back of your corset which was starting to feel way too tight.

Haechan slowly slid down between your legs, on his knees, as if guided by a string coming from inside of you. The view made you mewl and the thought of doing this with anyone besides him sounded abhorrent in that moment.

The first pull made you inhale and put your hands on his shoulders. They felt firm.

The second pull at your corset made you bite your lower lip and Haechan’s pupils darted to it.

“Haechan,” you called out again, this time softly, like a prayer.

“Yes, darling,” he leaned even closer to you, attentive to your expression and reactions.

The pet name knocked the air out of your lungs.

“If-” you swallowed thickly, “if we have to separate-, please, I want-”

Haechan patiently waited for more. His eyes, his fucking eyes, they were so deep, and his lips, so so close to you. You could have just leaned forward and tasted them.

You felt like going insane.

“Remember when you said that you’d-” you changed the route of the phrase thinking it would be easier but you stopped again.

Haechan exhaled and pulled another string from your corset. “What is it that you want?”

“I want you to be my first.”

________

Something inside Haechan’s brain was screaming that it was all a mistake, that he was doing something he shouldn’t have.

But Haechan has been a very good boy his whole life while everyone around him made mistakes with not a single worry in the world. Warm between your legs he didn’t care if he’ll regret it.

But hearing you he stopped, inches away from your mouth. Your heavy breath was matching his and your cleaveage still tightly restricted in that corset made him wonder if you could feel how hard he was against the heavy skirts of your dress.

“I need to hear you ask me again, explicitly, and I need to hear you say that you’re aware this might be a mistake and you might regret it,” he grunted.

You fanned your lashes at him with that pure expression of yours.

“I want you to make me yours and I am aware of all of the consequences,” you murmured.

Your tone and the polite choice of words made him want to scream.

“Please,” you added and Haechan couldn’t take it anymore.

He leaned towards you and grabbed your chin with one hand, tasting the tender skin of your neck instead of your lips.

You exhaled and trembled against him, your pulse beating so fast underneath his tongue that he wondered how plump and wet you were between your legs.

So soft and malleable in his arms you let him gently push you into the bed that materialized underneath you.

________

The Conductor’s eyes were so deep that they looked almost black. His body felt so good on top of yours that you wondered if he could let his weight down even more to fully engulf you with his presence.

You couldn’t imagine feeling such intensity with someone else. He didn’t trust you with your feelings but the moment his lips pressed on yours you were sure he had to be your soulmate or nothing in life would have made sense.

And when you finally slid your hands in his hair you found it was as soft as you imagined.

His wet velvety tongue on your throat made you mewl in ways you’ve never heard yourself sound before.

Then he kissed your boiling skin on your clavicle and when he reached the swell of your breasts you felt on fire.

“Hng,” you whimpered, feeling his warm and wide palms press on your waist and slide underneath until he pulled up to sit. He never stopped kissing your body, not even when he pulled harshly at the corset strings to finally undo it.

You gasped at the sudden freeing sensation and shyly let your arms up for him to drag it up and let it fall to the side.

He cupped your free breasts soon after under the thinner dress material and you threw your head back.

Not in a million years you would regret that. It wasn’t possible.

And when your back hit the mattress again Haechan finally kissed you, slowly, brushing your lips together first, then delicately taking your upper lip between his, letting you taste his bottom one. Your fingers deepened the pressure on his shoulders the same moment you felt his tongue nudge at your mouth. You opened further and timidly let yours meet his. It tingled all over your body and when he slid it fully inside your mouth you moaned.

You couldn’t breathe nor think. You couldn’t even move.

Was this the love everyone was talking about? Because you were starting to understand.

In that moment it didn’t matter what you two would end up doing. The only thing you could concentrate on was the ardent kiss and his hands on your arms, reaching up to slid the dress straps off your shoulders.

Then he touched the spot with his lips and you finally gasped, taking in as much air as you could, extending your neck in the opposite direction, giving him more space to fully drive you crazy.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he murmured against your skin as you twitched ever so slightly. Your breast was almost bare and the thought of him seeing you as no one had before made your nipples poke the dress fabric until it hurt.

“Tell me to stop anytime and I will,” he added.

“I don’t want you to stop. Please,” you found yourself saying.

________

You were so warm. You were warm and soft and Haechan desired you so much that he had to bite his lower lip almost to blood to prevent himself from devouring you completely.

Insane, he thought, you were insane to ask him to fuck you like that, and he was also insane for going with it.

His cock was so hard that it was painful and he imagined you felt the same, so he leaned down and wet your hard nubs making you gasp so deliciously that he made a mental note to do it often.

The thoughts of that being your first time together but maybe also the last was banging into his brain but he decided to ignore it. Your little sounds were grounding him and the way your breast felt underneath his hands, overflowing between his fingers as he squeezed just added to his brain haze.

He was starting to feel feverish and if he didn’t ended up with his mouth between your legs soon he thought he was going to go insane.

Your hands on his shoulders made shivers go down his spine and when they moved to his hair, he hummed with your nipples against his tongue.

He wanted to make you feel good, he wanted to make you feel so fucking good.

And he told you, murmuring it on top of your skin, sliding down your torso and letting your scent and warmth guide his clouded brain.

Haechan took your dress with him and when he couldn’t take it anymore he lifted himself on his knees and dragged it up your legs, throwing it as far as he could.

Your chest was falling and dropping so fast underneath him and he took a moment to enjoy the view, letting his gaze caress you where his hand was, slowly from your ribcage down your navel until reaching the slit between your legs.

You gasped, the little O on your face making his almost growl.

“Have you ever touched yourself before, darling?” he asked with a voice he barely recognized.

You shivered and he leaned back down to shelter you with his body, his hand still lazily drawing circles around your plump and soaked clit.

__________

You tried to hide your face in the crook of his neck but he was quicker.

You couldn’t believe you were completely naked in front of the man you desired so desperately. Was that the cruel joke of the destiny? Giving you all before taking it away from you?

Haechan kissed your lips, this time deeply and rougher than the first. Then he breathed on them. “Answer me,” he demanded.

You melwed, unable to think. His fingertips were so delicate and gentle that they almost weren’t there, yet you felt them so well that you couldn’t concentrate on anything else.

“Only outside,” you admitted.

Haechan rubbed his nose against your cheek. “I thought you were a curious person. You never felt the need to know how it feels inside?”

You swallowed thickly. Not in your most depraved thoughts you imagined a gentleman talk to you like that. And you loved it.

“I was afraid,” you admitted.

Haechan hummed, kissing slowly alongside your neck then licking your ear. “You’re so sensitive. Were you afraid it was going to hurt?”

You nodded as a reply.

“Are you afraid now?” he looked you in the eyes, his fingertips never stopping for a moment.

“No,” you whispered.

Haechan’s wet lips were open as if to let more air get inside his lungs and the thought of you being the cause to that decadent expression made the wetness between your legs just get worse.

You bit your lower lip, wondering if he noticed and when he dropped his hand by a mere centimeter you could feel his finger nudge at your hole and collect every drop of it.

You closed your eyes in embarrassment, clasping the material of his shirt on his bicep, and it just made Haechan more eager to rub your clit in ways you never even thought of.

“Show me,” he said, his voice so thick and rough that you felt like swimming in it. “Show me how you touched yourself.”

“Please,” you begged unsure yourself for what.

“Don’t be shy. Put your hand on top of mine and guide me, love,” he murmured with a twinkle in his eyes that made your insides burn.

You let one of your hands slide down his arm and you reached the back of his hand between your legs. It felt so erotic that you felt like combusting.

“Yes, just like that,” he prompted you, his lips now back on your chest, gently biting the softness of your flesh.

You gulped and pressed your fingers on top of his, moving them in little circles you knew felt good. Haechan hummed. “Yeah? Do you like it like this?”

The little nod you gave him made him smile. Then it turned into something more ferocious.

“What about this?” he changed the movement, his fingers now gently flicking your nub up and down as well, pressing a bit more that you did it yourself, sending jolts of pleasure across your body.

“Yes,” you stuttered.

“Yeah?” he spoke in the crook of your neck. “Did you make yourself cum as well?”

You threw your head back at the sensation and his tone and his words didn’t help you feel grounded at all. “A few times.”

Or at least you thought you did. Because the way Haechan was making you feel didn’t even come close to the way you managed to make yourself feel alone.

“May I?” his words buzzed against your lips, so polite in contrast with the way his fingertip felt like nudging at your core.

You bit your lower lip and Haechan rubbed his lips on you as a in invitation to bite his lip instead. You inhaled and nodded, pressing your hand on top of his.

He sucked the air between his teeth and kissed you deeply, letting his tongue smack against yours in the wettest and most desperate kiss.

And when you felt his finger slide inside of you it felt so overwhelming that you clenched so hard he had to break off the kiss to shush you. “You need to relax for me, baby, yeah?”

You felt your whole body shake and Haechan kissed the corner of your mouth then your cheek, doing on your jaw and neck.

“It’s going to feel very good, I promise,” he murmured against your clavicle. “That’s right,” he exhaled, feeling your melt in his hold. “My sweet sweet girl, just like that.”

The praise went to your head so badly that you almost didn’t realize the way he managed to move inside and out of you slowly and when he reached a specific spot and curled his finger upwards you jolted in place, grabbing his shoulders with a strong grip, the moan that escaped your throat probably loud enough to wake up the neighbouring passengers.

“You like that, darling?” Haechan kept fucking you on his finger until you couldn’t close your mouth, the sensation sending the most intense jolts of electricity up your legs and torso.

“Fuck,” you exhaled and Haechan chuckled.

“Yeah? My lady became this dirty for me?”

“Shit,” you couldn’t stop yourself. “Oh, heavens.”

The wet sounds and Haechan’s quick breaths made you curl your toes, and when he stopped his hand and you felt his finger exit you mewled a protest.

“More, please?”

Haechan gave you a cocky smile, lifting himself on his knees in front of you and letting you stare at the way he took off his jacket then slowly, so fucking slowly, he unbuttoned his shirt.

His pristine skin peeking underneath the white fabric made your mouth water and you had to sit down as well, leaning in and pressing your lips on his chest.

________

Haechan exhaled and cupped the back of your head and when he felt your delicate fingers open the rest of his buttons he thought he’d cum on the spot.

Your touch was heaven on his chest and your lips started to get too low, very low, down his abdomen until reaching the band of his dress pants.

Your ass was full on display the way your were crouching on all fours and when you lifted your gaze up, your mouth so close to the tip of his clothed cock, he reached and gave you a light spank that made your eyes shine and your tender throat mewl.

He desperately wanted his cock down that throat but he knew it would be insanity.

So he grabbed your chin instead and pulled you upwards to kiss your mouth again, and this time when he pushed you into the mattress he didn’t care to be gentle.

The grunt that left your chest made him worried that he had been too harsh but the way your grabbed his hair and pulled him into the kiss again, wrapping your thighs around his waist told him you weren’t a porcelain doll.

And when he left your gasping mouth to devour your cunt the moan you made and the way your body curved almost broke him.

“Haechan,” you called out and he has never heard someone pronounce his name in a sexier way.

He hummed back, deeply, licking a stripe up from your hole to your clit and resting on it heavily before rolling the tip around it, tasting you, flicking it until he felt your nails dig in the forearm he snaked around one of your thighs.

He pressed his palm on your lower stomach and the way you inhaled deeply made him suck ever more.

________

Legs around his head - the Conductor’s head - and his mouth on you, his arms around your limbs and his scent all over your body, you’ve never felt more ready to die.

“God,” you moaned, shaking in his hold so much that he added more pressure on your hips and when you felt his fingers nudging at your hole again, this time two of them, gently pushing past the rim, you grabbed the sheets underneath your until you had no more strength.

“Please please please,” you mumbled, his fingers hooked in so deliciously that you couldn’t see anymore. You had no idea there was such pleasure out there.

Haechan hummed, almost growled, his mouth full of your and his deep blue eyes staring at you with such intensity that you just had to let go or you would go insane.

“I feel-” you tried, your voice rough.

The man let your clit go for a mere second. “Yeah? Come on, cum for me darling. Come on, my love.”

It was like a switch, his tongue back on you and his fingers stretching you so well that you could only bury your had in the pillow and scream, coming undone until the only thing you could hear was your own breaths and the gentle rumbling of the Train underneath you.

Haechan’s little kisses made your shaking thighs relax and you realized you were clasping his wrist so you let go with trembling fingers.

“My good good girl,” he came towards you, peppering kisses all over your body, his fingers still deep inside of you, feeling the way you kept rhythmically clenching around them.

His lips were wet and red when he reached your mouth.

You exchanged a deep look that made all the hairs on your body rise and when he kissed you slowly and you tasted yourself on his tongue you felt like pouty in his arms.

“I want to make you feel good too,” you whispered against his lips.

Haechan hummed and slid his fingers out, making you hiss. Then with his wet hand he grabbed yours gently and directed it towards his pants.

“Open the buttons,” he ordered and you gulped, sliding your second arm between your bodies and obeyed, opening them one by one and feeling the heat coming from his body.

“Now touch me,” he breathed against your temple and you felt like rolling your eyes back from the sheer intensity of that energy.

You looked up and saw the man of your life close his eyes and furrow his eyebrows almost in pain when you caressed his length from tip until base.

“Fuck,” he gulped. “Harder,” his order made you bit your lower lip and you added a second hand, grabbing it loosely and moving them both up and down.

Haechan wrapped your hands with his and you inhaled shakily at the darkness of his eyes. He guided you, making you squeeze more until his breath went missing.

“Like this?” you asked. He was hot and hard but so velvety that you were afraid to hurt him.

“Just like that, darling,” he reassured you and when you felt the drops of something sliding under your palm Haechan’s jaw clenched. “You’re making me feel so fucking good, good heavens Y/N.”

You picked up the pace, loving his sounds and his expressions and he groaned.

You wanted more. You needed more.

“Please, I need you,” you murmured against his cheek.

Haechan leaned in and bit down on your neck, sucking on your skin and the sting felt so good that you felt your cunt pool up again. “Say that again, darling.”

You exhaled. “I need you, Haechan, please.”

“Where?” he breathed on your open mouth.

“Inside of me,” you choked on air as he reached down and slid his cock out of your hands with a wince, letting it rest between your fold instead.

“Yeah?”

You nodded and gasped, feeling the heaviness on if rub against your sensitivity.

“I need you to stop me at any given moment of discomfort. Do you understand me?”

His tone and demeanor made you almost chuckle. He drove you crazy.

“Yes, sir,” you whispered and Haechan put his tongue inside his cheek at your choice of words.

He intertwined his fingers with yours while the other hand held the base of his cock to align himself with you.

It was so big and thick, two veins running down it similar to his forearms and it made you swallow dryly at the sinful thought that came inside of your head.

But you felt drunk and you didn’t care.

“I want it in my mouth,” you locked eyes with him and Haechan visibly crumbled between your legs.

“You’ll be the death of me,” he inhaled sharply through his teeth and pushed inside of you slowly making you gasp and squeeze his fingers.

“Mmmm,” you furrowed your eyebrows and Haechan stopped, leaning down to shush you, kissing your neck and guiding your breaths until you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him forward.

“Does it hurt?” he murmured, moving his hips ever so slightly, making more and more space for himself.

“It stings, outside, but it feels good, inside,” your phrases were broken and Haechan chuckled against your lips, giving you a quick kiss that you couldn’t concentrate on as he was getting closer and closer to the spot you oh so desperately wanted him to reach.

“It’s going to feel better soon,” he reassured.

“I know. How does- it feel-for-you?” your tiny voice, stuttering because of his shallow thrusts made Haechan dig his other hand in the mattress.

“It feels like heaven, my darling.”

You hummed and then gasped as Haechan felt you open even more, swallowing him so well that he had to compose himself before he could start losing it and ram inside of you.

“Does the thought of me feeling good turn you on, love?” he grabbed your waist, keeping you in place and finally bottoming out.

Your face scrunched and the moan you let out sounded like music to his ears.

“Haechan-”

“Yeah?”

_______

Your breath was so irregular that you felt not enough oxygen getting to your brain.

There were no words to describe how he felt inside of you, intoxicating, sinful, full, so fucking full, he was all over you, inside your body and mind and heart, you wanted him more and more, you wanted him forever.

You stared at him between your lashes and you hoped he could see all of that. You hoped he could understand how he made you feel and you hoped he felt the same.

“I know, baby,” he shushed you, his hips picked up the pace and he was heavy and deep, the sound of his skin slapping yours making you hide your face into the crook of his neck in shame. He let you do that and lifted your hand above your head, pushing into it as much as he wanted to push into you and couldn’t for fear of hurting you.

Your brain went to the image of him fucking you desperatly and animalistically, fast and with no worry.

You desperately wanted that.

You wanted him again. That couldn’t be the last time you saw each other.

No way.

“Haechan, kiss me, please,” you managed to speak between the gasps.

The man leaned down and kissed you deeply, fucking you both with his tongue and his cock, until you moaned into his mouth.

His eyes were feverish and his forehead shining with a thin layer of sweat.

You let his hand go to wrap his neck and dig your hands in his soft messy hair, not breaking eye contact until with no words you both orgasmed and you lulled each other’s shaking bodies to sleep.

---will continue---

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jaelvr · 5 days

Text

Peach eyes

Home | NCT 127 masterlist |

Requested : no

Prompts ; 34. “You keep that photo of us in your wallet?” + 106. Waiting until they get to the door / get inside before driving off

Pairing : best friend! Haechan x reader

Pronouns : you/yours

Type : fluff

Word count : 500

Warnings : mutual feelings, friends to lovers, idol!au, fluff, slightly ooc

Have a great day !!

——————————

"I got it." he interrupted, gently pushing your hand away as he handed his card to the server, paying for it before you could. "Hyuck! It was my turn!" you scolded, pouting at him. He chuckled, shaking his head as he handed you your cup of churros. "It's the least I could do after being busy for weeks." he shrugged, wasting no time in beginning to eat his cup. “You keep that photo of us in your wallet?” you asked, a soft look on your face as he nodded. He'd been busy with a bunch of promotions over the last month, so the second he'd found out he'd had time off, he'd insisted on taking you out, both deciding to go to the theme park for the day. The day had been fun, full of roller coasters and shy glances between the both of you when you thought the other wasn't looking.

"Hold on to me." he instructed, voice low as he intertwined your hands, keeping a firm grip on yours as he led the way through the crowd, carefully manoeuvring through the crowd. "You alright?" he asked, checking over you once the pair of you had gotten through, exiting the theme park. You hummed softly, earning a chuckle as he took in your appearance, gently running his thumb over the corner of your lips, brushing away the sugar that had stuck. Neither of you let go, continuing to hold hands as you walked back to his car, and got in.

He put the heating on and the music as he drove through the streets, occasionally singing along with you to the music. Every time you two went somewhere, he made sure to play the playlist you'd made together, a lovestruck grin on his face as he listened to you sing along. "We still on for lunch tomorrow?" you asked as he pulled into the driveway of your house. "You know it, sweet." he assured, squeezing your hand. Neither of you wanted the moment to end, your seatbelt off but making no movement to get out of his car. "Thank you for today." you whispered, your forehead gently resting against his. His face softened, cheeks warming up. "Anytime, peach." he reminded, earning a giggle as he used the nickname he had given to you ages ago.

"I'll see you tomorrow, sunshine." you responded, a playful smile on your face. Before he could say anything, you'd leaned forward, placing a quick and gentle peck on his lips before you got out. "Goodnight, Hyuck." you smiled, winking and shutting the car door behind you, quickly heading up the stairs and to your door. He stayed parked, watching you with a stupid grin on his face as he waited for you to go inside, making sure you were safe as he tried to calm down his rapid heartbeat. He pulled out his phone, sending you a quick message before he started his car again, pulling out of the driveway and going home. You picked your phone up, grinning as you saw one message from Sunshine.

'Goodnight, peach. Can't wait for our date tomorrow ;)'

190 notes · View notes

wontune · 22 days

Text

haechan ㅤㅤ[ 케이팝 ] ♡ nct dream lockscreens

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lebrookestore · 5 months

Text

and i wake with your memory over me, thats a real fuckin' legacy to leave

[sixteen] lee donghyuck x reader

: ̗̀➛ moodboard/aesthetic – then | [now]

[teaser] [read here]

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vad-hander · 2 years

Text

YOU KNOW WE'RE NOT COMPATIBLE, RIGHT?

pairing: Haechan x reader

others: Mark, Jaemin, Jeno as Haechan's friends.

warnings: reader is mean and degrading towards Haechan throughout the fic (but nothing serious), mentions of drugs and alcohol, mentions of stealing, Haechan gets injured (breaks his leg, no graphic descriptions), explicit description of sexual interactions between Haechan and reader, unrequited love, reader has issues with showing her feelings, scared of other people's opinion

words: 11k

PART 1 | PART 2

Your head hit the bookshelf behind you and you pulled away from the surface immediately.

“Ouch.“ you yelped as Haechan giggled. “Shut up.“ You mumbled upset, feeling one of his hands snake over your waist to pull you closer back to his body.

“Why did your head make such a loud thud?“ he didn’t stop laughing as his other hand moved to the back of your head to pat it. The room was pitch black and your eyes still weren’t used to the darkness, not letting you see his face expression properly. There was a big chance he was mocking you and to be fair he probably was. “Are you okay though? It did sound bad.“

“So sweet of you.“ you murmered as his hand on your head now forced you even closer to him.

“I know, I can be that too.“ your faces were close enough for his plump lips to brush slightly against your mouth as words left him. “I can be anything you’d ask me to be, cupcake“

“Oh God.“ you sighed into his lips with a roll of your eyes, and pulled in slightly to kiss him. He pressed his lips against yours in return and you had to recollect yourself to keep in a moan. Even though kissing his lips was -maybe- your favourite part of the week, it was right about it on your favourite things related to Haechan- not to go explicit.

You wanted him to never know you thought of this for the past couple of days - the moment he’d steal you to somewhere private from the crowd, slip his hand over your waist to flush your body against his and capture your lips in the most satisfying kiss he could ever give you. He did not seem to be thinking about it all week as much as you did, and even though you had no intention to care about it, you had to admit you were upset just a little over the fact.

Haechan moved his lips slowly, forcing your head once again against the bookshelf but this time with his hand as a shield. His lips picked up the pace a little, sucking on your lower lip and squeezing the skin on your hip with his palm, losing contact with your mouth as your head cocked back in pleasure. He pressed his face against the skin of your neck immediately, hiding his tiny giggle against it. You smiled too because suddenly you found him too cute for your own liking, when his lips trailed wet kisses from the column of your neck up to your jaw and behind your ear washing that innocent smile off your face.

“I want you now.“ You shivered as he pulled back. “Just the thought makes me feel on edge.“ Haechan moved his hand from under your head to run his thumb over your face.

“When you say that…” you paused and sighed “We aren’t compatible, but you still act like you don’t know it every time.”

“For sure. I know.” he rolled his eyes. “There’s no need to tell me every time we fuck.”

“But this is wrong… in some ways, I mean. Looking at us we’re probably wrong in peoples’ eyes?”

“Y/n, who even cares if this makes you feel good?” his body lost any contact with yours suddenly, as he added that annoyed undertone to his voice.

“I was thinking what if I’ll fall in love, then what?“

“Excuse me?“ Haechan shot back loudly.

“Not with you, with someone. How do I explain to them that I had YOU as a… friend before the relationship?“

“Then that someone will probably use their brain and realise that you’re a grown up and there’s nothing wrong.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean then?” Haechan’s eyes ran over your frame. “During daytime it’s like we don’t know each other, you won’t even need to pretend. It’ll be the same, except for the fact I won’t get you all to myself on occasions like this.“ You couldn’t work out what to tell him. You nodded and this somehow was enough to reassure him you two were on the same page at the moment, snaking his hand back to your face, drawing small circles with his thumb on your cheek, while pushing you closer to him. Haechan kissed you and wanted access to your mouth in almost an instance. It was always the same - he wanted to do it quickly and neatly, but somehow whatever he did made you reach new levels of excitement.

“Can we not fuck here? Can we go back to your place?“ Haechan let you talk, trying his best to capture your lips between every word.

“You’re all over the place tonight.” he sighed and moved his neck back. “Is everything good?“

“Mmmh, it is. Your room’s just better, I think the aura makes me cum harder“ you smiled and ran your fingers over his nape, taking in his chuckle, not being able to hold back your smile when you saw his.

“Mmh, I really can’t take you back to my room, cupcake.“ His hand slipped under your shirt and further up your side to unclasp your bra. “I have plans with my friends after we finish.“

“This fucking nickname really holds the trophy of being number one reason we would never be compatible.“ you ran your hand up his stomach as he cackled at your remark. “I thought I’m the most important plan of your weekends.“

“You do really wish.“ He said sarcastically and there was probably zero to minus one reasons for you to get mad about it but you just did for the sake of paying him back for that annoying nickname. Your fingers slapped his shoulder, making a high pitched fake cry leave his mouth. He was a master at whining and crying for sure. “What was this for?“

“I’m going home.“

“Oh, come on, Y/n.“

“Why we’re here? Why am I here?”

“Because… you wanted to fuck me…?”

“Oh god. I’m here because we made an agreement and one of the things in that long ass list was no sex in nasty shitholes and weird places. I’m not here because I need specifically you, if you’re not able to provide what’s your supposed to then let’s just forget about this whole thing.”

“First off, that’s my friends room-“

“Then I hit it right, a weird place.“ you didn’t let him speak.

“Secondly, you could’ve put all of this energy in the right place…“ Haechan sighed exhausted “…Instead of acting like you’re on some weird shit, jeez. I’m not able to provide? What the hell are you even saying?“

“Get your dick wet somewhere else, I hate you right now.“

“Okay baby.“ He chuckled suddenly leaning against the wall. He seemed to have no care at all, watching you closely as you fixed your messed up appearance. You swallowed loudly at the pet name he spat out randomly. “I really don’t understand what’s wrong with you tonight. Did you take some shit from Sua?”

“Fuck off.“

“Don’t forget to text me when you’ll get home, cupcake.“ He shouted loudly as you exited the room, making you flustered and scared. What if someone at this house could hear him. Not like this was possible with the loud music blasting but still, you needed something to keep your mind occupied with on your way back home.

“Did you hear what the guys from our school did?”

“Something dumb? The usual?” you raised your head up from your phone and looked around as if somehow you could’ve moved locations while you were preoccupied. The never-ending list of rumours and stories collected in your friends’ brain stopped surprising you quite a while ago now.

“That party we went to last week, remember?”

“Ugh, yeah. I left early.”

“Jeno and his friends got dead stoned.”

“That’s… a very interesting story, Eunsoo.” you chuckled unamused. Stupid Haechan and his stupid friends were the least interesting group of people to you. He disappeared at all costs after that party and maybe it was for the best, but you still held a grudge against him. And you were ready to confront him at the way ‘baby’ left his mouth so easily when referring to you at any given second, but he was just… gone.

“No, I’m serious this one is good, listen.”

“Okay.” you nodded, finding the straw from your drink with your teeth blindly.

“I know they were drunk too because I saw Jeno and his friends drinking. I don’t know when it happened or where, but Jeno told me afterwards that one of them thought its a great idea to go on a ride. Jeno only had one bike and they thought they’ll ‘use’.” Your friend drew invisible brackets. “Someone else’s bikes. Basically steal and return them after.” Eunsoo paused and you looked at her confused. “They found a house in the neighbourhood with bikes in the backyard, stole them and went on a ride.”

“Is that what people been talking about this whole morning? I didn’t know a couple guys on bikes could get our whole university shaken.” you chuckled to yourself. “If it’s been a week why everyone’s talking about it only now? I thought rumours spread quickly in here.”

“You don’t listen to me! They were stoned, which is illegal in our country, if you still remember. They stole bikes, which is, I’m pretty sure, illegal everywhere, and adding up to that I didn’t finish.” she paused again and pouted, clearly drawing all of your attention and you nodded for her to continue. “Jeno was ahead of them and Jaemin asked for the bottle of whatever they had with them to drink, Jeno tried to pass it while still riding the bike, lost control of the situation and began to fall when he almost reached Jaemin. He said he scratched someone’s car, broke the side mirror, cars alarm went off. I didn’t have the visual representation, but as he described it, Jaemin fell behind him, because he reached for the bottle, and the rest dropped like domino, stumbling bakes over each other.” you chuckled as you imagined human domino “Jeno ran away as soon as signalisation went off. Jaemin and his friend didn’t get hurt much too and ran away. Jeno said that the guy that was behind them, fell off the bike in almost a flip because he didn’t hold on to the handlebar. He fell onto bikes, Jeno said it looked like his arm was broken and as he fell down he started laughing hysterically, instead of running away.” that’s weed, you thought to yourself. “Jeno tried to make him get up and run, but realised he was limping and couldn’t run. The other guy ran away limping too.” Suddenly, it hit you. The room you were in was Jeno’s room, Haechan and Jeno were friends. Haechan told you he had plans with his friends, that he couldn’t take you home. You swallowed thickly, suddenly chuckling. If he was there, he’d be the one who ran away first, there’s no way he’d be the misfortunate loser who broke his arm. It is Haechan at the end of the day. “What? Why is this so funny to you now?”

“I don’t know.” you drank water to calm down but couldn’t. “What happened next?”

“Jeno said when he heard the owner of the car screaming that he called police he chickened out and dropped his friend. They caught him and took to a police station and when Jeno found out he made everyone come in to save their friend. Honestly, this is like super dumb to do, but yeah.” she leaned in and whispered as if anyone else listened. “The bike that the guy was on, in fact, wasn’t stolen, it was Jeno’s bike, so they allowed him to leave to hospital. Actually, everyone were taken to the hospital for blood tests and now they might be in serious trouble. But like, guys are probably going to be charged with stealing and drugs, so the one with broken leg is lucky.”

“Wait? For real?”

“I’m telling you, Jeno didn’t tell me the drug part though. I was told by Jaeyoung, she’s dating one of the guys.”

“So are they getting expelled or something?”

“No, the one that hurt his leg is back today after a week in the hospital, I think I heard he had a concussion or something, the other three were here the whole week like nothing happened. Jeno, Mark and Jaemin.”

“Is the forth one by any chance…?” you suddenly felt heavy in your seat, like you were sinking down in a whole that somehow happened to be under your seat.

“Ugh, Haechan, I think Jeno told me before you three took same classes.”

“Haechan?” you said loudly, making your eyes double the size.

“What… what? Do you know him well?” your friend looked confused at you, as you closed your mouth with a palm. “You never mentioned him before.”

“Oh, no, I don’t.” you cleared your throat and closed your eyes to recollect yourself on your seat. “His name made me think of the class we have together. I though I forgot my papers at home.”

“The diligent student that you are.” she giggled, placing chopsticks with food in her mouth.

You entered the auditorium with almost every seat already being taken. You sighed and went up the stairs to take the first empty one you could notice.

Blending in was your best tactic to not attract any unnecessary attention by professor or anyone else, and your body tried to relax and focus on something else except for Haechan who was meant to be somewhere in this class. The lecture was long forgotten way before it started as you stared into your phone fighting your inner self. You didn’t text, you didn’t call each other to wish a good morning or a good night. For the most part texts never existed for you and Haechan. You just knew where to go to find each other and things happened. You were connected, metaphorically of course, more than you’d like to admit but you weren’t really keeping in contact and now, showing up out of nowhere and messaging him to ask if he was okay maybe meant stepping over a boundary you were not meant to be stepping over.

You sighed, jumping in your seat in a moment as something made a loud thud. The whole room turned to the source of the sound that happened to be the source of your inner battle as well, making your breath hitch as you noticed him taking one of the crutches back into his hand from a girl.

He was actually in pain, you suddenly realised and felt a little dizzy. You looked away not being able to see him jump down those stairs with crutches in his arms. The whole auditorium seemed to watch him do it, including professor, who suddenly focused his vision on Haechan, putting his lecture on hold.

“Mr. Lee, you could probably sit down in the lower rows when you return to not make all those steps back up.” professor smiled kindly at the guy who bowed at him suddenly.

“Oh no, professor. I’m totally fine, thank you.” you swallowed a chuckle. Did he play dumb or genuinely didn’t realise he was making a mess out of this class. You cleared your throat when you caught yourself finding him too cute, once again.

You watched the wall for a couple of minutes, before it felt like it was appropriate to leave the class to not pay attention - to not make people feel like you followed him, not like anyone would ever even think that - but still. You liked to keep your mind occupied with worry.

You stood up and left the auditorium - quietly and without attracting everyones attention - completely oppositely to what Haechan did.

It was hard not to notice him in general - he was always loud, the centre of attention when he wanted to be, and he mostly wanted to be the centre of everyones attention, and now - with those silvery crutches on both of his sides, making that loud sound in the empty halls - your eyes fell on Haechan even before you could close the door. You walked towards him and felt bad. You weren’t even the one to blame for what happened, but you still felt bad as you watched him get closer.

Haechan gifted you a glance without stopping for a second.

“Hey.“ you stood on his way now.

“Hey.”

“Ugh… I feel so weird talking to you right now.“ you chuckled and looked him in the eyes. It flushed you for the first time that Haechan in the day time, the noisy guy from your faculty was no different to Haechan that would kiss your forehead sometimes before you’d two go on your own ways after time spent together. His eyes still were warm and infinite.

“Why are we talking then?“ his eyes flattered in light annoyance but the tone of his voice was casual. “Run away, someone could see us interact and immediately assume we’re having sex on the weekends.“

“Very funny.“ You pursed your lips, moving your eyes away - on Haechan’s chest. “Are you okay?“ why was it so nerve racking to ask him how he was? Was it meant to be nerve racking to ask acquaintances how they were doing?“I’m… shocked you messed up like that.“

“You didn’t even text me that you got home.“

“We don’t even text, don’t act like you were mad about it.“

“Yeah, I wasn’t.“

“Right.“ You looked him in the eyes and smiled. “Does it really hurt?“ Your hand reached out with a glitch, touching his chest lightly, patting the spot above his solar plexus. “I heard you had a concussion? And a broken arm…?“ your eyes jumped onto both of his arms that looked pretty healthy to you.

“My arm just hurt because it was badly bruised. I didn’t break it.“

“Okay.“

“I thought you didn’t know about all this. Why did you not text me if you knew?“ He made it sound as if he was upset with you once again.

“I just found out before this class.“

“Do you want to hang out?“ he suddenly looked back at you.

“Is it going to be okay?“

“My leg is broken, not my dick.“

“Oh… oh.“ You gulped. “I know.“

“Come to mine tonight?“

“Okay, I think I have nothing planned.“

“Good for you.” he took a step closer as you stood there unmoved. “You’re mine then.” His mouth reached your lips as he hung on his crutches slightly. You gasped but still kissed him back regardless thoughtlessly. Flabbergasted you hung your arms on your sides, not knowing if you should pull away, because you two aren’t in that type of relationship or keep on kissing him because it felt fucking good?

“Hyuck.“ you tried to make him move away quickly but he casually paid you no attention. “You.” Your hand patted his chest, as you heard distant steps. “Stop!” you snapped and pushed him as the steps seemed to get closer to your ears, not realising that because he was leaning in to you he was unbalanced. You didn’t even push him with force but it was enough for him to fall back anyway. Your hands grabbed his shirt quickly, moving onto his waist in a millisecond to catch him, but it was too late and a moment later the two of you just dropped on the floor.

“What is wrong with you.“ He cried as your body plopped atop of his.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.“ You mumbled, trying to get up from him. “Is your leg okay?“

“Wow, is everything okay? Do ya’ll need help?“ the supposed source of footsteps spoke.

“Thanks dude, she’ll get me back up.” Haechan smiled widely and signalled with his smile for the guy to leave. “Like you on my lap like this.” he smirked suddenly, looking you up. You pushed yourself to get up and stretched out an arm to him. He stared at your hand as you stared at him confused. Did he enjoy laying on this floor like that? He spoke as you were about to ask him. “Do you expect me to get up like that?”

“Are you…? Can’t you?”

“Ugh-ugh.” he shook his head negatively and pulled onto your hand. As the move was unexpected you fell in to him and dropped on your knees. “I need to lean onto you and you’re falling just when I slightly pull onto you.”

“I’ll call for help.” you tried to get up from his lap once again when his hands landed on your lower back to keep you in place.

“Don’t.” he sat and made your bodies closer. “Just get on your knees and hug me.”

“You know, this now just sounded ridiculous.” you cackled.

“Save your dirty thoughts for the evening, cupcake. Now just get me up.”

“Shut up.” you mumbled and did as he wished. Haechan’s arm immediately wrapped around your shoulders as the other one helped him to find balance against the floor to push his body off it. He turned out to be unbelievably heavy as his butt raised from the floor and let you feel the weight of his body. “You’re a little tubbie.” you mumbled under your breath as your back was about to break.

“You’re just weak, cupcake. Sports would help.”

“Shut up or I’ll drop you.”

“Okay cupc…” you pinched his side and he squealed loudly. “Okay, I’m sorry, just get me up already.” he finally sighed calming his playfulness down. He finally stood in front of you and you sat back down to get him back his crutches, feeing his hand hold on to your shoulder lightly.

“Here.” he took one crutch and placed it under his armpit. “Are you… not going to take the second one?”

“No. You dropped me, you’ve got to pay for it.” he smirked.

“Huh?”

“You’ll help me back inside.”

“Lee Haechan, you have both crutches.”

“And you dropped me onto the floor like that when my leg is broken, my arm hurts and my head just got back to normal from a concussion. Help me in and don’t cry about it.” his hand slipped over your shoulder, putting pressure onto you once again.

“We never spoke and now you’re on my shoulder as we’ll enter. What is their reaction going to be like?” you looked at him genuinely. You were about to run away from under his hold.

“Whose reaction?”

“Fellow students.”

“Walk.” Haechan rolled his eyes at you and forced you to actually move by guiding your hand onto his waist for support. You held onto his hoody tightly, holding in your other hand his crutch and fighting internally droplets of sweat on your back and forehead.

“I’m… I wonder what everyone will think seeing you with me.”

“Me with you?” He snorted sarcastically.

“Yes. We have nothing in common, we don’t really have mutual friends and we’ll show up like that in the middle of a class.” you chuckled out of nervousness “You’re the one that befriend boys that aren’t good influence, I don’t know any of them and I’m not supposed to know you either. I wonder what Eunsoo will think if I ever tell her you even touched me, I can imagine her crooked face expression. I mean… I wouldn’t believe myself either, she’s friends with Jeno but still… she’s not into your group of friends much. She always tells Jeno is the…”you realised you blubbered too much getting closer to the door, feeling your tongue begin to twist when Haechan interrupted you.

“You know what?”

“Mmmh…?” you looked at him.

“Give me that back.” he forcefully grabbed the crutch from your hold. “I’ve listened to just enough shit. I’ll go myself, you should probably stay here for an hour or so, in case someone could smell me on you and assume things.” he reached out for the handle. “Thanks for the help, by the way.”

“What are you doing here?” Haechan’s face expression visibly dropped as if he was expecting a delivery but you came through.

“Didn’t you invite me in… today, earlier?”

“I did, but it was before.”

“Before… what…?” You looked at the boy confused. “Are you confusing me with someone?” you teased. “Your head’s messed up again after I dropped you?”

“Just leave.” he closed his eyes forcefully for a second.

“Are you… sure you’re okay?” you leaned in slightly to look at his face expression.

“I am.” he watched you serious and with every passing second you were realising he wasn’t fooling around with you like he usually did.

He didn’t want you for real. Your face dropped and you tried to not show it too much to him but he probably could still see it.

“Okay.” you nodded and looked away. “I’m confused right now but okay...”

“I should’ve made things clearer, so whatever, we’re even.” he looked away probably expecting for you to go but you just stood there to process the situation. He was bitching at you for whatever reason that popped up in his head. He stood there hanging on those stupid crutches and looked at you as if you were forcing him to do something he found completely disgusting.

“I… you know what?” your voice was too high pitched all of a sudden. “I don’t care.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t care if you’re not in the mood for whatever reason.” your hand pushed him slightly to let you get inside. “I came here because you fucking invited me. I spent a fucking hour to get here and I’m not going anywhere else right now except your bedroom.” you turned your head at the sound of Haechan chuckling. “Funny?”

“I didn’t know you were so eager.”

“Am not.”

“You seem pretty eager to me, I wonder what’s going on in that little head of yours.” You rolled your eyes at him and looked around as if you’ve never been there before.

Haechan sighed loudly, reached out to close the door and held his crutches properly, walking in direction of his room. You watched him move slowly, biting your lip subconsciously at the upsetting view. You wanted to maybe hug him and maybe rub his shoulder to make him feel better but then you brought yourself back to your senses.

It was his fault he fell down that bike and there would be nothing that would make him feel better because he’s not down in the first place. And your hugs would not make him feel better, maybe head would, but a hug from you… would be a meaningless waist of energy. You followed up and sneaked into his bedroom before him.

“Wh- what are you doing?” he questioned you as your back hit the mattress.

“Lying down.”

“I wouldn’t.” he chuckled at your face expression change.

“What, why?” you jumped up and ran your eyes over the sheets. “What’s in there?”

“Well, no one knows for sure what’s exactly…”

“Why did you not tell me earlier? I fucked you in that bed two weeks ago. Why… why would you even sleep in this if there’s something that’s like…” you blabbered and stumbled away from his bed, bumping into Haechan that took his steady paced steps towards you. You turned your head to look at him, noticing his body slightly hover over you, as his mouth got closer to your ear.

“I’m fucking with you, cupcake.” he said lowly and laughed. “For now, verbally only.”

“For fucks sake, Lee Haechan.” your palm hit his chest and he pretended you beat the air out of his lungs. “I wouldn’t be surprised if something actually lived inside that mattress.” you rolled your eyes and dropped your body back on his bed to look around. The room was clean, probably cleaner than yours at the moment, but still.

“I hope you’re playing because if you actually thought I have roaches in my bed I’m no joke offended.”

“Not roaches but what if you had something nasty there and… I don’t know.”

“Anyway… what do you think you’re going to do here?”

“What were you doing?” he walked over the bed and sat, placing his crutches against the wall.

“Thinking who could I replace you with.”

“Why would you even want that in the first place.”

“The list is infinite. Cupcake, you don’t check off a single box in my list.” he turned to give you a glance, turning back to help him get his leg up on the bed and lie down.

“And what are the things you have on that list you want to check off?“

“Why are you interested in that all of a sudden?” he smiled genuinely for a split second but then changed his face expression back.

“Just want to make sure there’s not a single person that would check off your stupid boxes and that I’m your greatest option of them all.” you smirked.

“You’re a bully. It crosses the whole list immediately in red ink.”

“I’m a bully? Shut up.”

“I kind of want to end this.”

“Because I’m a bully?”

“Yes, because you clearly hate the idea of interacting with me besides fucking and leaving. This is the longest conversation we’ve had since I’ve known you.” he slightly turned on his side to rest his head against his palm.

“Isn’t this the solemn purpose of being fuck buddies - to fuck and leave. The end. Nothing besides that.“

“Yeah, but you find the time to insult me in between and that’s a fucking problem.”

“A fucking… problem. Do you have problems with fucking me?” you looked him in the eyes. So closely and brightly you almost choked on your own laughter and the daylight proximity.

“Jesus.” Haechan rolled his eyes before grabbing onto your jaw forcefully and pulling you into him. “The lame jokes are even worse than your stupid insults.” you tried to lean in more to kiss him but Haechans hand held onto your skin tightly not letting you move. “I’m not going to kiss you.”

“Why?”

“You’re not turning me on.”

“Fine.” you raised and eyebrow at him and pulled back, Haechan letting go of you. “I know why you’re bitching.” you sat there in complete silence long enough for you to fixate on his breathing. Every sound made now in that room almost made your eye twitch.

“I’m not bitching.”

“You are. It’s because of that day you broke your stupid leg.”

“My leg is not stupid.” His remark almost made you smile.

“Okay, then if your leg is not stupid then you most definitely are. You should’ve chosen me and that eats you now.” Haechan laughed nonchalantly.

“Shut up.” his palm forced atop of your lips.

“Do you ever wash these?” you gagged pushing it off your face. Your thumb and pointing finger held onto his middle one, carefully moving the arm back to him.

“Yeah, sometimes. After getting them from inside of you, they’re getting kinda sticky.”

“You know you’re meant to do it before getting them inside too.”

“You should’ve told me beforehand.” he sighed dramatically. Your hand aimed to punch his stomach lightly, but met his fingers instead, running the back of your hand against his pointy ring on accident.

“Ouch.” you cried out. “Your stupid ring.”

“Let me see.” Haechan sat up, reaching his hand out to you and you almost believed he wanted to act sweet. “Maybe you’re bleeding, I’ll call the ambulance. They’ll finally get you out of here.” But his comment made you change your opinion mid-action, shoving a middle finger into his face.

The interaction died quickly and the two of you laid in complete silence once again. You suddenly went in your brain all over the fact that you had nothing to tell him. There was basically zero to none things you wanted to discuss with Lee Haechan. You didn’t know how would he usually get you in the state of a crying mess in his hold but since he seemed to be not planning to do it right now, you had not a single clue how to do something to him. He was the initiator, he always pulled the right string and then you’d only get back to reality when your hands were smoothing out your clothes back onto your body.

Were you about to try and seduce him? Hell no. Did the fact he held all the power upset you? It hella did.

“It’s late now and since you’re not going anywhere, I’m going to sleep.” he yawned dramatically and turned on his side away from you.

“Not even a shower, ew.”

“I’m napping, you weirdo. I would’ve made you leave if I went to actual sleep.”

“Wh- what is… what are you doing?” Haechan’s voice screeched after his 3 hour ‘nap’. “Why the hell are you even still here?” you could feel him move behind your back, pausing the game and turning your head to give him attention. “I- how did you even turn that on.” he gasped and aggressively took remote control from your hands. “Why the fuck did you sit here all this time I slept?”

“I cancelled things to come here.”

“It’s about time you go back home.”

“Well… I can’t.”

“Why is that? You never stay anyway.”

“Maybe today I wanted to experience something new.” you shrugged nonchalantly.

“You already are.” he hinted at the fact you’ve spent hours by his side now for no reason. Well, there was a reason - your roommate asked her new boyfriend to come over and quite frankly you would rather spend these hours pointlessly next to Haechan. At least his bed is comfy and the house is empty. “I can’t believe out of all things you could’ve done you messed up my game.”

“Hey, I didn’t mess a single thing, what are you even saying. I’m pretty good with games.”

“No you’re not. You would never.” he chuckled. “No way.” his tone changed as he looked at the screen properly. “Okay, maybe you can play games, but this doesn’t change the fact you have to go.”

“Let’s spend time together.” you smiled sweetly, craning your neck a little to see his face.

“Am I dead? Or are you dying?”

“Ugh… I’m hungry. I’m going to order something. Dinner is on me, since your letting me stay.” you crawled over the bed to get to your phone.

“You’re just deaf, I see.”

“What do you want to drink?”

“Poison, to be completely honest, but if that’s not on the menu I’ll go with whatever.” you raised your head to see Haechan get preoccupied with his precious game and swallowed a chuckle.

“Got you.” you mused.

“I’m going to choke if you’ll keep on staring at me while I’m eating. Stop.” Haechan’s eyes quickly dropped onto his cup.

“I’m just surprised.” the nonchalant chuckle was becoming his best friend through the evening.

“With what?”

“Many things, you know. This whole evening’s been pretty extraordinary.”

“Well, you are the reason it went that way.”

“Should I feel bad about it?”

“Do you not?” you squinted your eyes at him.

“I want to drink.” he swallowed jumping up before the both of you could realise that he can’t actually walk on his own. He fell back down thankfully hitting the couch behind him before another accident including Haechan happened in front of you.

“What do you want to drink?” you got your body up to walk up to his fridge before he tried getting back up once again with the help of his crutches. “Beer, coke, red bull’s and soju - that’s quite a variety.” you cackled.

You turned around at the sound of Haechan slowly moving towards you. He leaned over and a bottle of strawberry milk appeared before your eyes. You took the bottle and watched him lean over once again, getting a bottle of soju and quietly leaving to sit in front of the TV once again.

“I don’t want strawberry milk.” you ran to catch up with him.

“I thought you liked it.”

“Why did you think that?”

“I saw you drink it many times at school.”

“Oh, this.” you smirked.

“What?”

“A guy give me these regularly.”

“Why?” Haechan turned his head to face you.

“I guess he wants me to know something.”

“That he likes you?” you nodded quickly.

“I have no idea why he decided I like strawberry milk though.” you wanted to add that you don’t in fact like the milk too much and that the gesture was cute but a little childish for a college guy.

“Giving milks anonymously as a way to hit on you? Childish and dumb.” he snorted. Haechan’s face changed to a devilish one and you couldn’t just agree with him on this now.

“At least it’s cute.”

“Cute?”

“You would not understand I guess.”

“Why would I not?” Haechan made it sound like he was offended. “I liked girls before.”

“Sure you did.” he opened his mouth to say whatever. “I wouldn’t want to know how you hit on them so please keep it.”

“Jealous much?” you laughed at his stupid assumption.

“No, I could never imagine you being nice to a person in that way.”

“That’s a problem of yours.”

“You want to tell me your all sweet and cute when it comes to your girlfriends?”

“No, I don’t want to tell you anything. Go bring me the shot glass I forgot.” he sat down, placing his crutches by his side.

“I’m not your maid.”

“You’re an unwanted guest, that’s even worse. Go get me a glass.”

“Please and thank you.” you rolled your eyes but still did what he wanted, placing two shot glasses in front of him after a long search in the cupboards.

His eyes looked up to take in your standing figure, silently opening the bottle and pouring the drink into the glass. Sitting down you noticed him place the bottle back on the table, not filling a glass for you. “Hey.” Haechan’s eyes raised at you innocently. His emotionless expression began to get on your nerves on the fifth hour of your encounter, not noticing how you started to chew on your lower lip.

He was just built to get on your nerves, peoples nerves in general. It was either you love him or you hate his guts, and even though you previously thought you were somewhere in a neutral zone, every interaction with him was switching the scale towards the hate side. Your face probably looked to him like there were enormous amounts of thoughts racing through your brain in seconds and it wasn’t wrong. Haechan accused you of not wanting to interact with him, but how could you even want that when all he’s doing is trying to get under your skin and embarrass you even if its just you and him in this room. He didn’t even try to get on your good side once. If only he did, you thought and stood up. “You’re right.” you spoke in a second, noticing how Haechan furrowed his eyebrows “I am really an unwanted guest and you’ve showed it the moment I got in. I thought I can laugh it off and hang in here but it’s been… it’s not going cool on either end. I interrupted whatever you were doing I’m sorry.” Haechan reached out to grab onto your waist when you were about to walk away.

“If I didn’t know you I’d think you’re upset with the way everything went and aren’t spitting your daily dose of venom on me right now.” you looked down at him calmly. “You can stay.” he finally said after a pause. “I…” he interrupted his own self “Just sit down, come on.” he pulled onto your hand and you let him sit you down by his side cross legged.

He poured a shot, and then you two had one more. When the bottle suddenly turned out to be empty, you ran to the fridge to bring out one more. Light giggles escorted you to the kitchen and back. Haechan made comments you couldn’t make sense of anymore, and every word that left his mouth suddenly made you chuckle. When the third bottle turned out to be empty and you stumbled back to his fridge - you were met with the fact there wasn’t any soju left.

“Whe- where are you going?” Haechan pointed out when you tried to walk over him.

“We ran out of soju, I’m going to the mart.”

“You’re drunk.” Haechan pulled slightly on your wrist but it was enough in your state to make you fall. “Ouch.” he gasped when your body dropped over his legs.

“Is your leg okay? Hyuck, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” you cried out in pain and turned on his leg to look at his cast.

“Fuck, Y/n, stop moving around.” he whined, grabbing onto your body to catch your attention. “Let’s get you to bed, okay?” he gave up and sighed.

“To bed? No.” you pouted and turned back to face him. You found a better position by straddling his lap, your hands snaked onto his shoulders and Haechan held his breathe as your eyes met his. “Aren’t we having fun.” you mumbled and pulled in your body to give him a hug. You sighed and hid your face in the crook of Haechan’s neck, feeling your body relax. He was stiff and most likely was still not breathing, but your brain had no chance to pay any attention to the fact at the state you were in. “Funny enough you don’t look like someone who would smell so clean.”

“What?” he asked distantly, you moved your head to take a look at his face.

“I love it though, I’m not trying to pick on you.” you suddenly felt the urge to add.

“It’s okay, cupcake.”

“Don’t call me that, please. It’s so fucking annoying. Does that not make you feel like you bought me for an hour?” Haechan smiled amused.

“What do you want to be called then?” his voice suddenly turned into a whisper, making you realise you began to whisper too.

“Just my name if you can’t come up with something more ear pleasing for now.” You said closing your eyes to recollect your thoughts. “What do you think is going to happen to you after that day…?”

“You mean after the day I broke my leg?”

“Yeah. Do you think they’ll expel you from university… or… like, put you in jail?” you moved back your head, running your eyes over his face, he chuckled nonchalantly at your words.

“Would you feel upset if I got expelled?” he asked in a whisper, watching your reaction closely. You moved your head in a barely visible nod. You didn’t realise before this very moment that you actually would. That even if you two weren’t in any way next to each other during the day, still, having him in the same room was something that made your heart and brain calm down without you realising. The way he’d wink at you in those rare instances your eyes met in a class and you’d give him a mortified look, you’d turn away with a shadow of a smile you’d try to contain on your face. You snapped back to reality, where Haechan’s hands held onto the small of your back as if you were going to disappear from his lap. You snapped back to reality, where every thought of smiling because of Haechan was making your head go dizzy in disbelief.

It was the longest time you spent this close to Haechan without him touching you to turn you on and it almost felt weird when his lips finally touched yours, pushing away every bizarre thought you had. Your lips quickly got in a battle with his and now you were pressing your body more against his to make him let you take control of the kiss. Haechan wasn’t about to give up to you, but he moved his head away and stared you down.

“Do I not turn you on again?” Haechan’s eyes rolled backwards as he closed them, pulling your face back to his with a hand on your cheek. His lips moved slower than a minute ago, making it harder for you to breathe when his teeth pulled on your lower lip slightly. You opened your mouth and he took it as an opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth and make you completely breathless. It seemed like he never took it this slow with kissing before, but maybe, you just weren’t able to remember all those times you were insanely drunk and under his spell.

A couple of hours ago he told you to leave, that you’re not turning him on in the slightest and now it felt like he was putting out his soul. Your eyes flattered when he sucked onto your tongue, pulling you out of your train of thought. Haechan tried to pull back, your hand wrapping tightly over his neck, not allowing him to move, as you sensed his wish to let go. You licked into his mouth and Haechan let you to, dropping his back against the couch. His palm held your neck carefully, caressing a spot with his thumb soothingly. Haechan’s other hand was pinning your chest to his, wrapping over your waist tightly. Your head felt so dizzy with the alcohol and his presence, you pulled back and slowly blinked your eyes. Haechan’s thumb on your neck didn’t stop for a second, making ecstasy run through your blood.

“Can you help me get up?” he said suddenly and you couldn’t hold back a chuckle.

“Yeah.” you nodded vigorously at him and pulled your body off his, before realising he didn’t let go of you, forcing your face back in front of his. Hyuck pecked your lips, taking a look at your face between each kiss. His gaze was clouded with lust, he almost seemed enchanted.

You took the crutches from his hands as he sat down on the bed, propping them against the wall. Haechan’s palm reached out to the small of your back pulling you into him as soon as you were done. He dropped his back on the pillow and forced you on top of his body.

“This is going to be exciting.” he whispered, as his fingers traced down your arms.

“Because I’m fucking you and not the other way round?” You chuckled and touched his cheek.

“Yeah, and because it seems like you’re going to stay afterwards.” Haechan’s voice was still quite, not disturbing the silence of the night.

“I wouldn’t get your hopes up too high.” you pointed, connecting your lips.

He didn’t need a second hint, gripping onto your nape tightly while you kissed. His other hand snaked under your t-shirt, tracing lines over your bare skin with his fingertips.

“Can you sit up?” your fingers pushed onto his shoulders lightly, moving your body off his lap. Haechan moved up against the head board, reaching out to you the next second. “Hyuck.” you mumbled, straddling his thighs. The boy under you took the shirt off your body in a quick motion, doing the exact same thing to his clothes, flushing you against his bare stomach, placing chaste kisses over your chest and breasts, biting through the skin next to the material of your bra. You gasped and raised up on your knees, feeling Haechan’s lips lick the same spot he bit. He let go of your waist to push down your bra, freeing more of your sensitive skin. He flicked your nipple with a finger, teasing the sensitive bud with the tongue afterwards.

The mixture of alcohol and Haechan was always bringing you on edge, and this now was no exception. The way his lips left sloppy kisses on every inch of your skin as they went back up your chest and neck, sucking in the skin behind your ear lightly. A muffled cry left your throat at the feeling of his warm tongue on you, your insides clenched and you sat back down to get any friction you could. Your palm crawled over his visibly hardened member, feeling him up teasingly. Haechan buckled against your hand, making your own body clench at the feeling.

You slid your palm up and down his length, moving to the band of the sweatpants, teasing the skin above. Your fingers moved one layer lower, feeling Haechan through the underwear. You flexed your fingers over him and he gasped, breaking away the kiss as you began to stroke him rhythmically.

Focusing your attention on your fingers on Haechan, it slipped your attention how his fingers snaked to your underwear too, getting a surprised mewl from you as he smoothed out slickness over your heat. He worked over your clit knowingly, sliding his fingers to pump in and out of you in no time.

“I want to lick you.” you were so preoccupied in the friction he was giving you your brain forgot how to distinguish words.

“Your leg.”

“You can ride my face.” he suggested immediately, soaking in your face expression. A smirk lit up his face as a response to your clenching over his fingers. “I’m taking this as a yes.”

His hands left your body for a split second, getting back onto your thighs to guide you off his lap onto the bed next to him. Haechan’s body slid down the mattress, as his fingers waved for you to get back to him.

“Come here.” his voice made you shiver. The invitation felt intimate. Not like your previous encounters weren’t intimate, its not even the first time he eats you out, but somehow the feelings inside of you were different.

Probably, for the reason you never did it that way - never sat on his face and it made you nervous for some reason. Even after all those soju shots.

Haechan’s fingers ran over your thigh soothingly when you didn’t react. He extended his palm as an invitation and you took it, crawling back over him. Haechan’s fingers ran over the skin of your lower stomach, hooking them over the material of your jeans, quickly undoing the button and pushing the cloth down your legs with the underwear.

You took in his face as he paused for a moment running his eyes over your body.

For no reason at all he made you feel shy, his eyes weren’t the usually hungry drunk with a sprinkle of carelessness, he looked possessed, but in a good way. Haechan’s eyes glistened a little with something that could be taken as… you shook the weird thought away and grabbed his face with your fingers quickly, shoving everything that there was in the farthest corner of his brain you hoped to never see again.

“Are we doing it or are we staring?” Haechan slapped your hand away, grabbing onto your butt cheeks suddenly and moving your body next to his mouth. You gasped as his breath hit your wetness, grabbing onto the wall in front of you as he pulled your body more in, sliding his tongue once over your folds with no warning. Your lower stomach suddenly felt overwhelmingly heavy and your hips jerked up at the feeling of another lick.

Haechan’s arms battled your body, forcing it to stay still and against his mouth, while you persistently tried to move it back, to not let his lips and tongue turn you into a mess too quickly. His tongue moved swiftly, and then at a slower pace, he sucked and stuck it deeper inside of you. Your hands tried to grip onto the flat surface of the wall but there was nothing to hold on to, pressing your forehead against it instead.

Haechan groaned lowly as your hips jerked against his face with the next lick, spreading vibration through your body.

His tongue began to move in directions you couldn’t possibly work out with your brain, getting lost somewhere with the way he was able to build an orgasm inside of you in such a short time, with the way his palms were gripping onto your ass without neither of you realising the strength of his hold.

“I don’t want to cum.” you cried out heavily, Haechan suddenly locking eyes with you.

“You should use me.” your eyes flattered as the pleasure he built faded slightly. “I’m just giving you head, but I meant proper riding.” you felt that tangling sensation get back to your lower stomach with how nonchalantly the suggestion left his mouth.

“Like… for real?”

“Like for real.” his grip on your thighs loosened, allowing for you to do the next move on your own. You wanted to move quickly to not lose what he built up, to not let alcohol leave your systems, even though you weren’t sure anymore either of you were drunk, and not let the awkwardness settle in.

You couldn’t remember the last time it felt awkward to be intimate with Haechan, but then again, he never asked you to rub yourself against his pretty face. Wait, was his face even pretty? Why did you suddenly think his face was… pretty?

You lowered your arms in a hurry, and he seemed to read your mind, catching your palms with his, giving support to your body that you needed. Your knees felt weaker than you expected, lowering your centre down on his face. Haechan didn’t seem to find it weird or displeasures. He just let you feel his tongue against your body, and now that he expected you to move you knew he won’t bat a lash.

You jerked your hips against his face once just to see what it feels like, then once again because it did indeed feel good. You couldn’t possibly remember how you got yourself into the current state of crying and moaning, but as you were about reach the peak of your ability to hold back you heard and more importantly felt Haechan grunting and panting against you. Your eyes lowered to see his being closed, quickly turning your head to see his hand in his underwear.

Your hips stopped midway making even yourself surprised with amount of strength you had left inside of you. Haechan opened his eyes in an instance and watched you move your hips off his face.

“What’s wrong?” he found his voice finally. You stood on your knees and quietly forced him by his armpits in a sitting position as if he was a toddler. He helped you get himself up and you sat back down on his lap, pulling him in by the neck. “Did it not feel nice?”

“No.” your lips tried to find his, but Haechan pushed back.

“No?” he seemed scandalised at your reply.

“It did feel nice, but you were stroking your own self and I felt bad.” you smirked and touched his hard on with your fingers. Haechan’s hands found your face on their own, kissing your lips as your fingers worked over his clothed length. “Want me to suck you?”

“No.” he sighed when your fingers met his bare skin. “I’m g… Just fuck me already, it’s been too long.” his eyes rolled as your finger ran over his tip.

“You’re sure?” you smirked.

“What the fuck would I not be sure about.” Haechan’s fingers wrapped around your wrist as your fingers teased him more.

“Okay, sunshine.” you left an open mouthed kiss on Haechan’s cheek with a chuckle, as your hips jerked against him for friction.

You pulled back and helped Hyuck pull down all the clothing from the lower part of his body. You trailed down the cast on his leg with your eyes, when Haechan pulled you back up and against his chest. Your body weight pushed him against the headboard, and now you were pressing onto his body, as his lips hungrily trailed every millimetre of yours, making your eyes roll every time his tip slid against your slit, making those rhythmical motions that were already enough to take you over the edge.

“I’ll cum like that too if you’re here for research.” you mumbled through the kiss, making him slip a little inside of you. Your head dropped more back, giving Haechan access to your neck and chest, placing chaste kisses there as the more of him was filling you up.

As your hips properly rocked against his, you found yourself building up a pace you liked. Haechan’s lips moved onto your breasts, licking and kissing every spot he could find, biting into the skin as you would bottom out. You rolled your eyes backwards as his teeth sunk down into your skin giving you a satisfying mixture of pain and pleasure from his cock.

“Gonna cum soon, Y/n.” Haechan mumbled into your skin and you shivered at the sound. You didn’t know your name could be pronounced in such a way. Did he never call your name before? He probably went by the nickname, you thought. He panted as you clenched over him, feeling his cock twitch in response.

You couldn’t remember what time it was last time you had your eyes on a watch, but your body felt almost mushy from tiredness, your legs were burning after the endless thrusting of your hips. You wanted to pick up the pace and help the both of you release, but the soreness in your thighs was almost unbearable by now.

Haechan’s fingers traveled down your butt cheeks, spreading his fingers widely over the skin, grabbing your flesh to put more pressure on you every time you sank back down on him.

“Is that better?” he asked as his arms helped lifting you up and slamming you back down.

You whimpered a hitched ‘yes’, leaving every other memory of chasing your highs and riding through them in a blur.

You were laying on the bed’s farthest corner from Haechan, listening to his heavy breathes slowly get back to normal. After your heart gets back to normal too, it would be the same to every other time you had sex with Haechan - you’d get back on your feet looking busily for all of your belongings, Haechan would ask you in a huskiest voice ever if you’re sure you wanted to leave in the middle of the night. You’d nod a yes and call in an Uber.

“Are you not scared?” he suddenly spoke and took you from your reflective thoughts.

“Of what?” you turned your head to meet his eyes on you.

“Of going back in those Ubers.” were you thinking out loud? you questioned yourself immediately. It didn’t seem like you were. Was he thinking how you’d leave him in your casual manner too?

“Why would I be scared?” you chuckled nonchalantly to not make all those creepy drivers rise up in your head again. Fighting the fear and the sleep every time, counting down minutes to the arrival.

You sat up, taking your shirt in your hand to cover up. Even if you weren’t planning to leave, you still needed a shower.

“You’re leaving anyway?” he sighed heavily, letting you feel the mattress bent somewhere closer to your back. “I thought this was something different now.”

“Hm? I’m not leaving, my roommate probably still fucks her boyfriend, so I’m going to shower and sleep on the couch.” your head moved to be in front of Haechan’s.

“Why couch?”

“Because,” your body turned completely towards the boy. “Rule #1 you broke? Kissing. I told you we should not kiss at all.”

“You’re kissing me back every time!”

“Because you started it! If you wouldn’t have I would have not kissed you. Anyway, we spent time together today, which is another thing we agreed on not doing. Alone time together is not a thing for you and I.”

“You came here yourself and spent hours on my bed, just so you know.” he cackled.

“This was an emergency situation, you should’ve reminded me of the rules, I would’ve left respectfully.”

“Lies.”

“It’s not!”

“Whatever, what else is on the list?”

“I thought we came up with the list together? Do you not remember a thing?”

“No staying the night? No cuddling afterwards?”

“Yes, these two aswell.”

“Great. No marking too.” he chuckled and reached out to your breasts, touching with his pointing finger a spot, attracting your eyes to see red spots over you chest.

“Lee Haechan!” you gasped and pushed his hand off you. “What is wrong with you tonight?”

“Let’s do everything we shouldn’t since we already started?”

“No, that’s bullshit. I’m going to shower and then to the couch.” you rolled your eyes and then tried to get off the bed, feeling Haechan’s arm hug your waist and pull you back against him. Since when is he even strong?

“Go to sleep it’s late.” his lips landed on your ear to whisper, wrapping his other arm over your body as you tried to push him away. “Just this time, since today was the breaking rules day anyway?”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yes.” you sighed and closed your eyes, Haechan not loosening his grip on you even though you let him know you weren’t going to leave.

“I feel like this is the first time we had sex and you didn’t give me a lecture on how wrong we are about this and that we’re the least compatible humans.”

“See, all those months and you finally learned it.”

“Turn around.” his arms helped you face him, laying your head on his chest. You wished you had more energy left to fight with him over these actions, but your head just laid atop of his chest like he wanted you to. “Are you… sleeping?” Haechan cleared his throat before speaking.

“Not really.” you sighed tiredly, now when he was talking you were not sleeping for sure.

“Do you not have, like, anything to tell me?”

“No, about what?” your eyes were glued and you wouldn’t be able to open them even if you tried, but your mouth was still able to talk and last bits of your awaken brain was giving commands for words to leave it.

“I don’t know. Maybe you wanted to ask me anything, since we’re talking today, you know.” “I don’t know.” you mumbled and killed the conversation. Haechan seemed to give up too, when a question popped in your head. “That day… How did you end up on Jeno’s bike? Why wasn’t he riding it?”

“Rock paper scissors.” he chuckled and made you smile too.

“I knew it would be something idiotic.”

“Are you still drunk or just tired?”

“I don’t know, maybe the two mixed.”

“Can I ask a question too?”you nodded against his chest.

“Do you know the guy that gives you milks?”

“No, if I did I’d at least thank him and probably would tell him to stop.”

“Why?”

“I don’t like strawberry milk, I told you before.”

“And what do you like?”

“Sodas. Grape flavoured ones, or rose lemonades. Simple Dr. Pepper would’ve been better than milk probably.” you chuckled for no reason.

“I thought you’d say something like ‘I’m uncomfortable with a stranger giving me drinks’. I guess I overestimated you.” your hand slapped his side. Haechan giggled seeming to be full of energy, while your brain was turning off in the comfortable aura of his body heat.

“That too, but I guess if he’s willing to do so

I have no say.“

“We can make out once somewhere public and he’ll back off.” you didn’t know where that energy in you came from but you laughed out loud at the suggestion.

“No thanks.” you tried to move your body a little away from the boy. “That’s why I never want to stay, I knew you’d be up in my ass with your talking. Thankfully, with your words only.”

“We could do that with-.”

“Honestly, shut up.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” he cackled and reached out to you.

“Why are you touching my hand?” You asked after a few moments passed.

“Can’t I?” his fingers ran over your fingertips, spreading tingling sensation over your palm.

“You can, but you shouldn’t.” you moved your hand from under his.

“Why? There’s no one else to see.”

“Because… it’s too much.”

“It’s not. I’m just touching your fingers. I touched many other parts of your body and you had no problem with that just an hour ago.”

“This was in the moment of lust. The moment is not there anymore and we’re not a couple.”

“We would never be a couple just because you’re so fucking grumpy all the time.” he sighed and turned on his side, scooping your body closer to his. “Like, you’re pretty and not dumb, you’re grades are higher than mine I know that. I’m sure we would be fine at least as friends if you’d just get that stick out of your ass and maybe breathed?”

“I am. Breathing.” you said lowly. His words hit right where he directed them.

“If you’re so ashamed of fucking me, you should’ve not started the thing. I know that you’re ashamed of that, but like… who would even care if someone found out? You’re afraid to seem imperfect to all those people? They wouldn’t care, no one would care if you’d tell them you fucked me, once or twice or whatever number of times. People in our school are the same, no one’s better, probably they’re doing things that will make me look like a saint in your eyes. You’re trying to make me at fault for everything, but you’re the problem in our so-called relationship.” you rubbed your nose against the skin of Haechan’s chest, making him doubt if you were listening. “Are you asleep?” Haechan rubbed his thumb over your cheek. “You’re loving sleeping right next to me, am I right?” he purred suddenly into your ear and you shivered, fighting through your sleep to give him a response that would shut his fantasies up. You could feel his lips on your jaw, tilting your head more towards his face. You tried to give him an annoyed look but his eyes were glued to your lips now that they could see them, turning your body like a plushy in his hands and sealing his lips to yours. “I think I know now why you always ran away, you were protecting me from an addiction.” you could feel his thumb brush against your cheek until you completely drifted to sleep

583 notes · View notes

lazuli-writes · 4 months

Text

Sighs

summary: San scolds his duckie

pairing: Lee Donghyuck x Choi San

genre: smut / porn with barely any plot

estimated word count: 1000 words

a/n: Merry Christmas and happy holidays 🩵 This was inspired by their majesty themself, @atiny-piratequeen mahalo nui loa for both the inspiration and positive energy sharing you’ve given me to be able to complete this—I can’t believe this wip was born in late October… and I actually completed it, thank you so much motha!! Remember folks, copying other people’s works is plagiarism and that’s illegal. Don’t be that kind of person. Anyways, hope you all enjoy it :)

©little-lazuli. Do not copy, repost, or translate without permission

Donghyuck’s grip tightened as time seemed to halt. The sensations that danced in and around him, swallowed Donghyuck whole. Consuming him and leaving him nearly pliant, with all his strength being used to ground himself in his embrace of San.

“P-plea-”

“Quiet.”

One command. One simple command was all it took for Donghyuck to mentally retract. His mind rushing to fill his train of thoughts, left empty by his gradual impaling upon San’s cock.

The elder lathered his neck with love bites. Lips, tongue and teeth all gradually traveling across Donghyuck’s neck and collarbones like a calligraphy pen, imprinting its identity upon its canvas.

“I told you to trust me”

Donghyuck whimpered, the spearing upon his core barely starting and already he was breaking at the seems. His limbs that trapped and locked itself around San’s neck and waist shivered under the desired invasion.

“I told you to be quiet… why couldn’t you?”

“I-I-“

“Quiet!”

Donghyuck screamed as a spongy head first kissed the realm of his prostate, before suddenly weighing down upon it viciously. San, leeching harder upon the younger’s neck, paid no mind to the pleasurable wails coming from the one sitting upon him.

Spots and darkness started to flood Donghyuck’s vision as he still awaited for San to fully sheath himself. This was the deed that almost always took the longest. San was nothing short of impressive in all that he did and all that he was.

And it left little for Donghyuck to wonder on why the simple act of inserting himself into the younger was always a prolonged activity.

“One thing I asked of you tonight. One thing. And you couldn’t even do that.”

Donghyuck was trapped between heaven and hell. The immeasurable divinity he felt under San’s every kiss, bite, touch and caress clashed with the sharpness of his lover’s words. He should have been able to do it. He should have kept his bratty mouth shut. He should have kept those mean and jealous words from spilling.

And yet he didn’t.

And now he would pay back what was due.

“I’m s-sorry… I’m so sorry h-hyung.”

Donghyuck’s struggled to voice his thoughts through the hiccups that infected his vocal cords, a side effect of the ever growing tension building within his core. Growing like a wildfire. A volcano simmering and stewing in its heat. Pressure building from within, awaiting for the prime moment to rupture and explode.

The sudden press of San’s hips against his shivering rear left Donghyuck’s sanity nearly depleted, with San as the only foundation left for him to mentally stand upon.

“You know… that was very bratty of you. To run your mouth to your dongsaengs like that.”

Each word from the elder became pronounced with a thrust of his hips into Donghyuck. The younger could barely maintain what little sanity he had left with every new bruising kiss to his core. Only tears could spill down his naked form as Donghyuck hid his face in shame and pleasure within the crook of San’s neck.

San eased his grip on his mate’s waist as his thrusts slowed to a halt, the elder’s nerves finally thawing with every sob Donghyuck struggled to hide. The elder’s once vexed demeanor crumbling under the weight of Donghyuck’s tears.

“Duckie… why didn’t you listen to me? I told you to trust me. To let me handle them. Why could you not do that… just this once?”

Pulling back to gather a look upon the other half of his soul, San would thank their current bodily position—with his cock cradled by the gods gift to him—for it was the only reason his heart didn’t shatter at the sight before him. Of his Donghyuck falling into the depths of his emotions, tears staining his cheeks and soft hiccups choking his baby.

“B-because….”

Donghyuck paused, taking a second to gather the last of his thoughts as a finger that wasn’t his own wiped away his tears. The younger’s grip on the elder didn’t falter in its desperation in being close to his mate, tightening as Donghyuck accepted the weight of San’s forehead upon his own. The two sharing a breath, with only each other in their entirety.

“Because you’re mine.”

Donghyuck barely spoke those words aloud when the sudden crush of San’s lips met his own. A warmth consumed Donghyuck further and further as he suddenly found himself enclosed between the sheets beneath him and San blanketing him completely.

And with barely a moment to catch his breath, Donghyuck felt San’s apology and adoration.

He felt San’s apology with the fingers that danced upon his skin. Traversing from its place upon his hips until it secured itself upon Donghyuck’s neck and jaw.

He felt San’s adoration when the elder’s other hand grasped Donghyuck’s cute cock. Fondling the adorable appendage, circling its head and stroking it to a desperate completion.

Donghyuck could only hold on tighter to his hyung before his lungs let loose a torrent of pleasured sighs. With his mind slowly ascending too high in the clouds and his release painting much of San’s navel white.

“My duckie.”

San almost chuckled at the way his words went unheard, as the now relaxing form of his boyfriend began to slip from its embrace to the elder. San was quick in maneuvering his love to lay limply upon their bed as he hovered over Donghyuck, like a beast delighting in its prey before completely devouring him.

“I-I… I sorry hyu-“

Donghyuck’s slurred words were cut off with another soulful kiss from San. The elder’s lips and tongue controlling the younger completely. Forever breathtaking, all consuming and irrevocably powerful in leaving San’s soul imprinted upon Donghyuck’s very own.

“I forgive you my duckie.”

And with those last few words, Donghyuck granted his beloved hyung a soft smile of acceptance before using the last of his strength to interlock his fingers with San’s as he awaited for more.

A sigh was all Donghyuck could grant San as the elder soon closed the space between the two.

#lazuli writes #ateez smut #choi san smut #san smut #san fanfiction #choi san fanfic #choi san fanfiction #nct smut #donghyuck fic #donghyuck fanfiction #donghyuck smut #haechan fanfiction #haechan smut #sanchan #pwp

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aesthyuckic · 1 month

Text

🩹🎐 ditto!┊͙✧˖*°࿐

inspired by sabrina the teenage witch and ditto by new jeans :) tw: hurt comfort?? word count: 2.25k

“Have you ever been to the North Star?”

“What?” Haechan asked back in response, taking his attention off the vegetables he was cutting in the kitchen. “No, why?”

“Our soul stones reside there.” You shrugged.

He rolled his eyes before he went back to what he was doing, “They should be called twin stones not soul stones. Twin flames are our other halves and soulmates are people we knew in previous lives.”

“Okay, fair but don’t you think they’re interesting?”

You knew he always got upset at the mix up between twin flames and soul stones, it was something you found endearing. Truthfully, you didn’t know until he told it to you and that was another thing you loved about him. He always taught you more which fed your natural curiosity.

“I guess.” He shrugged. “But I’ve had no reason to go there. I’d be testing rocks for hours and I feel like I’d just be disappointed by it.”

“You have no one in mind?” You asked with your chin on your hands as you looked at him from the couch.

“Of course I do.” He responded.

And for some reason, there was a twinge at a few of your heart strings that stung as deeply as the cold. The pain flashed for a moment in your eyes and it was luck for you, his back was to you so it went unnoticed by your friend.

“Why haven’t you gone to test it then?” You inquired further.

“I’m afraid.” He admitted while putting down the knife, the vegetable laid in pieces on the cutting board. “What if they don’t fit together perfectly like they’re meant to?”

“Then there’s someone else that you’re meant to be with.” You answered rather gleefully.

“I don’t think I’d like to know that. I rather live in a blissful state of what could be. Why do you want to go so bad?”

“I know you’re smart, Hyuck. It’s because I have someone in mind. Duh!”

You fell back on the couch as he was prepping the food once more. There was that twinge again, only not in your heart but his own. The sound of the knife hitting the board cease for a moment before it began again.

He didn’t like the idea much like you didn’t either of having people in your lives that you hadn’t mentioned to one another. You’re meant to be best friends but best friends tell each other about the people you’re interested in. Neither of you had mentioned that person in passing with one another. The both of hadn’t assumed that it had been for good reasons.

The hurt subsided but lingered in the quietness of the room. It became heavy and overwhelming. You shot up from the couch.

“We should go together.” You suggested.

Before he could say anything, you were up and dragging him out of the kitchen by his wrist.

“The food!” Haechan pointed out.

“It’s be here when we get back.” You said, swiftly.

“The stones will still be there after we eat!” He whined.

“You know how when I want to do something, nothing else matters until I do the thing I want. It’ll be quick, promise.”

He couldn’t say no to you. It was impossible whether it was because you made him too weak to do so or because you were too stubborn to get your own way. You were already up the stairs to your linen closet, intent on where to go with the boy tailing behind you. As soon as the door slammed behind the both of you. A flash of mist and light engulf you for only a moment to reveal the change of location. Everything around you was various shades of glowing blue, most notably a periwinkle color. Shards of crystal surrounded the both of you, multiple halves of stones were cascaded through out the labyrinth of the star.

The grip on his wrist loosen as you looked around, confused. The boy seemed lost as well.

“How are we going to find the stones?” He mumbled.

He strayed from you while he avoided the sharpen formations as he walked around to look at the countless stones.

“Haechan-“ You called.

It was no use though, he was already around the corner of the wall. You don’t even think he heard you which you rolled your eyes at before turning around. As soon as you turned, a shard suddenly popped up out of the ground startling a brief scream and a rapidly beating heart from you. It spoke to you.

“Welcome to North Star system. How may I help you?” It said, robotically, indicating it was an automated system.

“Are you okay?!” Haechan yelled, a hint of worry in his voice.

“I’m fine!” You answered. “I thought… I saw a bug or something… Have you found anything?”

“Not yet!” He shouted. “I’ll let you know if I do.”

There was relief in you when you heard his footsteps start again and get farther from you. You bent down slightly to say your full name into the point of the shard. You looked behind you one last time before going back to quickly add another.

“And Lee Donghyuck.” You whispered.

It was silent for a second. Nothing moved and you began to wonder if it has heard you. Then the frustration and disappointment came to set in as everything stayed the same. Out of nowhere, a circular block of clear crystal came up from the ground with two blue boxes sat next to each other. The shard in front of you disappeared into the ground once more to reveal a path toward what you sought after.

Frozen in place, a moment you had dreamed and thought about since you found about the North Star was presented right in front of you. Fear replace the frustration you felt prior. Did you really want to know? There was a dilemma in you and felt like a hypocrite to the words you spoke earlier to your friend.

Hesitantly, you stepped forward and approached the pedestal. You went with the box on your left first and opened it to reveal one half. It glowed in your palm and a moving image of you appeared in it. You did the same with second box, it glowed in your other palm and Donghyuck appeared in. You smiled at it, rubbing your thumb over the cool surface of his stone. The question arose again, did you really want to know? Of course you did. You found yourself moving the two halves closer together. Time seemed to only slow down the closer they got to each other as a breath got caught in your throat. Only a few more centimeters…

“What are you doing?” A voice rang in your ear, breath fanning your hair.

You were frozen in place as everything stopped. It was unclear if he was angry or not because he most certainly could see the little image of him moving in the confines of the rock. You turned around rather quickly, quivering before him.

Haechan didn’t look angry but the tone was not as sweet and soft as usual which set something off in you. Uncontrollably, tears started to form in your eyes. You tried to blink them away but it only seemed to encourage them as they started to fall down your cheeks and fogged up your vision.

His stone fell to the floor while you kept the grip on your own so much tighter. His gaze seemed to soften at your reaction. You back away from him in an attempt to find a wall you could disappear into. It was not worth an attempt as you were too weak to actually use your own magic in that moment and you found yourself sinking into a ball against the barrier. You hid your tear stained face in your arms so you couldn’t see him pick up the stone and put in his pocket. He came running and dropped to your side within seconds of it.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He reassured, the soft and sweet tone was back with a hint of huskiness to it. “If crying makes you feel better, that’s fine but if you’re crying because you think I’m upset, please don’t do that… I’m not.”

He hated that he was reason behind your tears. Maybe it wouldn’t just been better if he had shut up and walked away. He wrapped an arm around you, gently to not startle you. He could feel you shake. He frowned at himself. Like he deserved to have his soul stone fit yours. You peeked up from your arms, eyes red with tears threatening to spill once more.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized. “I know I ruined everything.”

You referred to the friendship and shook his head rather quickly after your words, “No, don’t do that. I fucked up I should’ve just… not pulled that bullshit. I’m sorry… I just wanted to show you something cool I found out about the stones. You didn’t ruin anything.”

Not anything he didn’t want ‘ruined’ anyway. Haechan stroked your hair with a sweet but apologetic smile in an effort to comfort you. It took everything in him to not verbalize the confession sitting on the tip of his tongue. His arm left your shoulder only to go to your hand. Warmth encapsulated your own as he kept a firm grip on it. His other hand left your hair to pull out the stone from his pocket.

“You wanted to know, right?” He cooed as he held it out between the two of you.

The tears stopped and you regained your composure. Your grip loosened on your own stone as you brought it up to match his. Instead of centimeters, it was inches apart. Both you seemed rather hesitant to bring them closer to one another.

“Now or never?” He murmured.

You looked each other in the eyes. A softness and a type of vulnerability could be seen. You nodded at him before you turned your attention back to scene in front of you two. The stones stayed lit in both of your hands are moved to fit them together. It seemed to take ages for them to connect but in the final second it felt like it fused together like magnets would. A burst of light came as soon as the stones touched. You squinted your eyes from the sudden light that dissipated after a moment.

Then there you two were, in the stone, coming together across the boundary of the crack of each to meet in the middle for a kiss. Seeing it made the apples of your cheeks heat up and then you heard a laugh in your ear.

“What?” You asked. “Why are you laughing?”

“I was afraid for nothing.” He smiled before looking up at you.

“I was the one you had in mind?!” You exclaimed as you shoved his shoulder, playfully.

“I know you can be a bit air-headed at times but you can’t possibly be this dumb…”

“You’re a big dummy too if we’re going to talk about it.”

“We’re not.”

You couldn’t ask him what he meant before his hands were on your waist pulling you into his body. The completed soul stone went flying out of your hands at the movement, sliding across the floor. It made you gasp, yet they stuck to each other like glue.

“That’s the thing I wanted to tell you.” He whispered in your ear while a hand reached up to move a few standards of hair out of your face. “Once they’re together, they can’t be separated.”

His hand came down to caress the side of your face and pull you back to look at him. Your heart started to race just looking at him in the eye now, knowing his feelings. The silence was no longer awkward but suffocating.

“You’ll have to stop me now if you don’t want me to kiss you.” He confessed.

“I can’t.” You admitted.

You moved forward, closing the tension filled gap between the two of you similarly to the soul stones. The suffocating feeling was gone and you felt like you breath again. So full of passion and lost in it, you let out a sigh that had Haechan smiling into the kiss. Your hand went to the back of his neck in effort to bring him closer and deepen the kiss. His body now has you pinned against the fall. It would’ve continued if he hadn’t had to come up to breath for a moment. He stayed so close in front of you, looking down at your lips.

“We might be here longer than anticipated.” He laughed, smugly.

“We can’t.” You blushed. “If people show up and find us making out on the floor I’d be mortified…”

“I’m sure it happens here all the time with the other witches and warlocks.” He replied. “With far worse acts if I’m being honest.”

His words resulted in him getting smacked on the shoulder once more. He played hurt as he rubbed his shoulder.

“Okay, I won’t kiss you ever again.” He lied as he went to turn away.

You responded by yanking him back by the collar of his coat. His lips were against yours once more as now hovered over you. One hand supported himself over you while the other came up to zap you out of there. Whatever you wanted was what he wanted at the end of day.

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onyourhyuck · 11 months

Text

Innocent Temptations. | L.DH

— Prologue: “I know we are at our son’s birthday party but it won’t hurt to leave for a few minutes.”

— Summary: Wherein your and Donghyuck’s son has a birthday party at a fancy restaurant but your husband can’t hold himself back seeing you in your new dress.

— Genre: Husband!donghyuck. Smut dni. Horny donghyuck. Man’s got the biggest breeding kink. Donghyuck says it’s an innocent matter but it was a lie. Having sex in a public space area (they do it in the private toilet). They get caught by the end of it.

— Notes: This was in my draft for way too long.

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You slap the top of your husband’s hands squeezing it tightly when you feel his sneaky hands creep under the table on your thighs. He puts on a snarky face smirking widely as you try to act calmly. But you can’t. Your husband has been trying to purposely make you snap at him.

And he knows you can’t hold on much longer with his hands on your body; rubbing on top of your skin or even doing this sneakily.

You’re both at the restaurant for your son’s birthday party. There are many parents of the other children that came to celebrate this event with you both. So you’re trying to stay calm and composed but as much as you want to be, your husband didn’t want to stay with the other parents; he found it intensely difficult to stay still when you look this beautiful in your party dress.

It’s been a while since you and Donghyuck went out looking all this dressed up and fancy. Parenting is very difficult and time consuming so the both of you basically forgot how you guys look actually. He’s so used to seeing you in his hoodie and sweats around the house rushing to take care of your hyperactive toddler that has the biggest mood swings that can go from a zero to a hundred real quick. And just like his father your son is very much a sneaky little kid who wants to have his way. And only his way.

He murmurs against your shoulder. He buries his lips close to your soft smoothing skin that just calms him and the fact he could smell the expensive perfume in your skin drives him insane. “Come on Y/n. I know we are at our son’s birthday party but it won’t hurt to leave for a few minutes.”

You can’t believe this man sometimes. The audacity for him to act like a feral animal when you’re both in a public setting. Not alone you’re surrounded by the other children parents.

“Donghyuck what’s wrong with you?” You snap turning to him in a hushed voice. He likes the way you turn around to face him while he’s smirking ear to ear as you’re basically now lecturing how inappropriate this is. “It’s Dongwook’s birthday. You can’t be serious right now.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I’m dead on serious.” You sometimes wonder, how did you get in a situation like this with him?

“I need to fuck you right now.” His voice was dangerously quiet only you could hear it and your ears perk up at how sly he sounds right now too. You hate that you find him so attractive because now you’re slowly becoming more and more comfortable with the idea.

He easily influences your decisions and you don’t even realise it because when he grabs your hand leading you up from your table. He excused you guys both saying you had something urgent to do, he even asked one of your closest friends Doyoung to keep an eye on your son Dongwook while you fix the urgent matter — in his pants. The next thing you know you’re dragged inside a private toilet and he locks it. These types of stalls are more open and wide for the both of your bodies to crash inside. He didn’t waste any second, hungrily kissing you for an opening. You force your eyes to close as you’re savouring such a kiss. It’s been so long since Donghyuck has kissed you this way. You completely forgot how it feels to be under your husband’s control.

Ever since you and Donghyuck had your son. Four years passed before you know it you’re going through a rough parenthood without any sex between you guys. It’s not like you didn’t want to have him fuck you. In fact you wanted him to and he wanted to do so too but the parenting over your son really took you guys completely consumed that you didn’t have any place or time opportunity to do this. Especially with his work. You’re at home alone with your son most of the time. It’s only been recently till you started working again.

And if it wasn’t your son consuming you both it’s your heavy responsibility over your work.

He groans against your lips as he pulls away. He was snapping down the belt off the trousers as he looks back at you in a dark gaze that you haven’t seen in so long — you feel so lost. Hypnotised. “It’s been so long since we last did it. I reckon I should stretch you out. Hm? What do you say to that.” He was asking you but you knew he wasn’t looking for an actual answer.

You only let out a moan in response as his fingers found the way inside your soaking panties. He’s rubbing on your loving swollen clit. He never thought you’d be wet this fast but he can’t help but smile knowing the effect he has on you is still there. Donghyuck’s mouth latches to your neck as his free hand he roams around your curvy body. Your body is so different now but in the best way possible he’d like to announce — you look more curvy. Your body looks way more mature now after pregnancy. Your breasts were bigger. Your hips have gotten widen and he must say your hips are the best thing ever. Donghyuck might become obsessed with getting you pregnant if your body looks this irresistible.

The fingers curling inside your body stretch you out nicely. Donghyuck made sure to take his time with you because it’s been a while since you guys did something like this. Overall he wants you to remember this moment for a while. You both never know when you can do something like this again with your bodies. Letting each other know how deep your love actually is for one another. Your faces reconnected into another passionate kiss as he fingers you quicker and he seen you protest in the kiss as you said you’re about to release. But he didn’t stop and you could only moan loudly as you feel your lower stomach clench.

He feels your body produce so much liquid as you orgasm he could feel his memory going numb. It must’ve been the best thing to see today. He hears you panting softly and Donghyuck kisses your nape softly. “I didn’t know you could orgasm this much over my fingers baby. Now imagine your orgasm my cock.”

You softly groan. “Donghyuck please fuck me.” And he swore he’s going to oblige to doing that. How can he be a good husband if he can’t even do that? He only smirks as he hears you say this showing how bad you want this as much as he does.

Your husband softly grabs your hips and positions your stomach flat on the sink as he rolls back your dress by the end. He reveals your ass he feels so proud seeing. It’s thick and it’s just the most perfect shape he could die for. Donghyuck manages to tease your wet pussy dripping with the tip of his cock. He brushes the tip against it but makes sure it doesn’t go inside fully.

It’s driving you mad, whatever he’s doing with his hard on tip it’s making you want to suck him inside your pussy walls already.

You grunt. “Can you put it in already?” You snap half annoyed now and Donghyuck laughs at how much you’re getting so heated over this. He grabs your hips sternly now. “Careful what you wish for baby.” He warns darkly as he suddenly pushed in his hard on long length in your slipping folds. You feel your hand covering your mouth muffling your shouting moan because you would’ve been able to get yourself and Donghyuck caught.

He tells you to keep quiet or else you might get caught by the restaurant staff. If you’re honest you shouldn’t be here for this long. But you can’t help it when your husband’s cock is stuffing you so much. Stretching every limb your own body is providing. Donghyuck can’t tell if it’s because you both haven’t had sex in so long but he feels different fucking you now. It’s like he’s losing more and more control. To him it’s much more intense and amazing now. Sure your sex in the past was also amazing ; but something about fucking you after so long since you gave birth it indulges him into a fantasy.

And now your husband is rutting on your behalf. His mind is taking over him and his only goal is to stuff you full of his load and have you orgasm so much you won’t be able to focus when you return back to the birthday party event.

He did tell you to be careful what you wish for.

You feel all sorts of noises slipping out of your lips sometimes you can’t even tell what you’re trying to say but you just can’t focus on anything else but your own body rocking back and forward as your husband is railing you from behind against the sink pressing on your bare stomach causing a cold sensation to leap on your skin. Your hair is starting to become a mess by the intense pressure of his thrusts. Your makeup was slightly smudged especially your mascara and you just know you’re going to leave looking like an absolute mess.

You know your husband wants you to look like a mess too. Donghyuck wants you to be reminded of what you guys did today. And he wants to have your body remember how his touch feels. How his cock makes you feel and how he is the only one who can be there to do this for you.

“I’m so close..! — Donghyuck.” You sweetly stutter with your stain lipstick becoming smudge on your chin and down.

He grabs on to your hips pushing you deeper. “Cum on my cock darling. Come on.” He encourages you so keenly but his body was pushing you to your high limits and you feel like floating when you finally orgasm one his cock. Donghyuck loves the feeling of your warm pussy juice dripping down your hole as he goes in and out of you. Just to stretch you once again.

It’s an addicting process that nothing can compare. The act of love but as well as your filthy animalistic urges. Especially Donghyuck’s.

He slowly murmurs against your ear. “I’m going to fill you up. Bet you’d like that wouldn’t you, my sweet sweet loving wife.” Your eyes widen as he coos beside your ear. You knew your husband loved children and he always told you that he would want a large family in the future.

You have no problem with having many children. But you weren’t expecting him to say this while you’re at a restaurant bathroom. And after seeing you in this dress and how much your body changes he wants to fuck a baby into you — that’s all it took for Donghyuck to come to terms that he wants another child right now.

You whimper when his hand brushes over your sensitive clit and now he’s ramming his cock inside you while also overstimulating your clit. You can’t help but grab the sink tightly and moan continually now getting louder and louder you couldn’t stop them no matter how much you tried. And your husband made sure everything can be heard. He’s so cruel with his actions but you love how rough he can be with you.

Because you’re aware of how much he must’ve been punting up his frustrations when seeing you look so beautiful in public. It turned him on instantly. It’s your effect and you love that you make him act out like a hungry animal in heat. Ready to devour you.

He croaks out. “What do you say? You want another baby? I really want one…” he hissed as he’s starting to feel the end coming. He grabs on your body tighter with each incoming wave of thrusts he’s been pushing inside your aching overstimulating pussy. Your muscles are contracting making your walls clench on his shape his large cock inside you crafts. And somehow this tells him you want him to do it. To put a baby on you. “I really want a girl.” He deeply said in wishful thinking.

“I want to give you a daughter.” He croaks. “Or should we try for twins?” you can’t help but think he’s lost it.

He’s lost it with you.

The man behind you looking so fucked out. Sweat dropping down his forehead. The clothes you’re both wearing are wrinkled and dusty from the toilet you’re inside and now your dress is slightly wet leaning against the sink the entire time. Your arms are wobbly and weak as you tried to support yourself from the front with each hard incoming blow he gave you. Donghyuck didn’t hold back with you. It’s been so long he couldn’t control himself at all. When your insides feel the sudden warm liquid filling your body completely. He stuffed you full. Your womb up to your evolving velvety walls. You were stuffed and he made sure you kept every little drop in you. None would get out he made sure of it.

And all you could do was pant as you turn around slowly and your eyes meet your husbands who look down at you seeing how beautiful you look even after he was handling you so roughly. Your lips meet one another. Donghyuck softly brushing his lips on yours as you kiss softly with the last remaining energy your bodies have.

You gently pull away and your voice sounds hoarse from all your heart-full moans from earlier. You really lost your voice all thanks to him.

“I can’t believe you want to have twins.” You said to him. Now you’re completely teasing him right after he rocks you back fucking you like there was not a tomorrow.

He looks on the side chuckling. “Hey,” he said slightly as you were teasing him. “Innocent Temptations never hurt anyone.”

He says that but there was nothing innocent about the way he was fucking you over a sink just because he really wanted to breed the crap out of you.

You gave him a look that he knows you didn’t believe him and you both leave the bathroom when you’re ready to look slightly more presentable. But when you returned opening the restaurant bathroom door, you were met with your friend Doyoung holding his son and your son’s hands as he gave you a look that he knew what you were up to.

Your face grows red as Donghyuck’s and your friend has caught you. He even gave you the scolding look at both of you.

Donghyuck smiles sheepishly though. He wasn’t embarrassed. But you were feeling embarrassed instead.

“Innocent temptations my ass, Lee Donghyuck.” You whisper to him scoldingly as you saw his smug looking grin on your husband’s face.

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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating and copyrighting my work thank youu. Reblog this fic and follow me for more updates it helps a girl out! <33

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everything-fine-n-peachy · 1 year

Text

The sun is also a star (l.dh)

pairing: lee donghyuck x reader genre: angst with some fluff (if you're delusional like y/n) summary: high school besties who may or may not be just besties, a dash of one sided pining and very oblivious golden retriever energy dh

You’re the type of girl to fall in love with the stars. The kind of person that enjoys the thought of distant worlds, the idea that there may be life beyond the pale blue dot. The mystery of space thrills you.

The same applies to love.

You liked them bright, burning with so much intensity, and warm despite being lightyears away. Like Lee Donghyuck. Always so close yet so far.

There was always something in between you, you just couldn’t put a finger on what it was.

He was supposed to be your best friend. None of this was supposed to be a problem. You think maybe it’s your fault for thinking up all this nonsense. All your fault for the tightness you feel in your chest when he so much as looks your way with those eyes, for the banging in your ribcage when he pulls you in for a hug, and for those godamn thoughts that plague your mind of this boy before you go to sleep.

Donghyuck would always linger. Never long enough for it to mean something but long enough for it to fill your head with fuzz so that you can’t think straight.

Your eyes meet from accross the large assembly hall as you bring volunteers in for your clubs’s peer program. Just like that Donghyuck is bounding towarding you at a hundred miles an hour. He drapes an arm around your shoulder before flashing the group a careless grin.

His gaze falls on you and you feel the ground shift under your feet. You push him off, highly aware of the watchful eyes of underclassmen.

“Get off of me, jesus Hyuck, we’re working here!” you scold, earning a few sniggers from the juniors in your care.

Despite yourself you laugh. Typical Donghyuck and his typical antics.

Before you could even say anything, in true Donghyuck fashion he addresses the crowd, “I sure hope this senior isn’t being a debby downer.”

You playfully slap away the finger he has pointed on you. “Oh, stop it. Just say that your own group got bored of you and kicked you out.”

You smile trimuphantly with your hand on your hips.

Donghyuck feigns offense complete with the perfect look of utter betrayal, “is that how you treat your best friend?” He yields but doesn’t leave you alone just yet.

“You know they say, the more you hate, the more you love,” he singsongs before clicking his tongue, “bet you’re just secretly in love with me.”

You glare at him, looking nothing short of annoyed. You will yourself to stay calm despite the nerves bubbling just below the surface of your stomach.

Donghyuck bursts out laughing after a beat and you don’t want to admit it but you feel a sense of relief wash over you.

“You know I’m just messing with you right?” He swiftly boops your nose before running off back to where he was supposed to be.

Oh he really had no idea, did he?

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liliansun · 3 months

Note

IM CRYING I NEED THE PART 3

haechan as your bsf who has a crush on you 🫶

(pt 3)

a/n : pt 4 posted!!

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slightlymore · 1 year

Text

if I lose my mind 2

dream sorter haechan x dreamer fem reader

genre: fantasy/tim burton-esque, romance, smut, angst!!, fluffy moments

warnings: +18, explicit sexual content, jaemin is an accidental voyeur, swearing, wounds

other characters: mark, taeyong, jaemin, taeil

words: 11k

read part 1 here

"I want your fingers inside my mouth," you tasted the words on your tongue.

The place was dark, and you couldn’t clearly see the face of the person you were addressing. Only half of his face was on display - his perfect nose and a pair of plump lips.

What you said was meant to be a mere flirty joke, but the man's Adam apple moved up and down in nervousness as his breath got shaky. The collarbones were on display in his black silk shirt as if inviting you bite down. He took a step towards you before you could do anything, caging you with his arms and you gasped gently. The sink dug into the softness of your ass and your torso leaned back, shy of his sudden closeness.

He stared you down for a moment although you couldn’t exactly see his eyes. You tried to exchange the look, but your gaze fell on his open lips instead. And when he let the water run behind you, little drops hit your bare back making you shiver.

He was as close as to caressing your face with his breath, yet so far away from kissing you.

And then you gasped again, feeling some of the water drops on your exposed bosom as he lifted one wet hand to your face. His two fingers were nudging at your open lips, and you opened your mouth wider. The man slid them inside of it and you hummed.

"Like this?" he murmured, looking at your doe eyes.

You held his wrist with both hands, sucking on his fingers diligently, nodding twice.

"Fuck," he whispered, the feeling of your warm tongue on the underside of them making him get even closer. His thigh pushed between your legs, and you grabbed his luscious shirt with your hands, right when

“Y/N, wake u- ouch!”

You gasped, mouth pasty and brain fried only to see Taeyong’s scrunched face under your palm, whining on your right.

“Sorry, sorry, oh my god, are you okay?”

You took the hand away and your boyfriend massaged his nose with a light chuckle. “I am okay. Good slap. Who were you fighting in your dream?”

The bedroom was dark, and you could barely make sense of his features but his eyes were shining.

“Oh,” you inhaled and exhaled slowly trying to focus. You were having this dream-

Taeyong didn’t talk for a moment then he gently wiggled his thigh, and you realized only in that moment that it was tightly hugged by your legs.

“Oh,” you gulped again, unclasping your thighs. Taeyong didn’t move his leg away.

“I wasn’t minding it,” his deep sleepy voice caressed your ears. “What were you dreaming about?”

You grunted, rolling on your back and hitting the pillow with the head. Your face was on fire and your panties were too damp for your liking. Then you tried to remember what the hell were you dreaming about, to make you start humping Taeyong like that in the middle of the night. Flashes of someone’s jaw and lips danced in your sleepy mind for a moment, then the feeling of fingers on your tongue.

“I just hope the dream was with me at this point,” Taeyong pulled you back by the waist and you chuckled a bit. Honestly you had no idea. But that must have been Taeyong.

“Of course, it was with you. Who else can I have dreams about?”

__________

Haechan thought he’d be able to stop thinking about you, but the habit of waiting every day to meet you, looking at your curious eyes and inviting you to choose a dreaming door, wasn’t something that could disappear all of a sudden. Although he couldn’t dream, the moments he spent with you were the closest thing to a dream he has ever experienced. While moving around like an automaton doing his tasks, his mind wouldn’t stop imagining your face, your eyes, your body. His fingertips could almost feel your skin. Your scent would randomly engulf him, making him stop in his tracks and turn around as if he could suddenly see you appear from behind a corner with your little cunning smile.

But you weren’t there, just random people passing by.

He’d close his eyes to compose himself, head thrown back and deep breaths, then he’d start walking again.

__________

Jaemin looked at Haechan stopping in his tracks and looking around like a hound. Their eyes met for a split second and Jaemin’s breath stopped, but Haechan’s dark pupils went over his figure as if looking for someone else. His shoulders looked droopy as he walked away and Jaemin exhaled anxiously, wondering what to do.

It was completely normal for people to have sexual dreams. That was part of the core training - not weird to see wet dreams, don’t piss your pants. Shame wasn’t something Jaemin’s people ever experienced but somehow, he could understand why the Dreamers were ashamed of their sexual thoughts during waking hours, bringing upon themselves convoluted wet dreams instead.

So Jaemin didn’t think much of your dreams. Some were confusing, some were nightmares, and some were sad. He was ready to see all sorts of things. But his breath stopped, and his spine shivered the moment he saw a familiar man in your dreams as well.

“Listen, this is a top-secret situation, and we need to be discreet. No one must know your Dreamer has been Lee Haechan’s. Got it?”

Jaemin was standing in front of Taeil’s desk and nodded once, taking up his first task after graduating just a few days ago.

“No one talks about their Dreamers in detail so if anyone asks just be vague about it,” Taeil continued. “And if you see something weird going on, you must tell me.”

“Weird like, what, sir?”

Taeil sighed. “I don’t know. You’ll probably understand if something is weird.”

Jaemin and Haechan didn’t know each other well, but he saw him in a few of his classes. Haechan was a genius so he graduated much earlier than everyone else so Jaemin didn’t have time to become friends. But he was sure he was the man you kept dreaming about. The thing is, you should have forgotten him on the spot the moment you changed Dream Sorters. The security classes were fresh in his mind but unless Jaemin missed info because he was asleep, no one ever mentioned such a situation to him before. Was it normal for you to dream about Lee Haechan or was that something weird enough to communicate?

__________

The class that morning was more boring than usual, you realized. The sun was shining brightly and warming your body slowly, making you feel like some sort of rotisserie chicken. The notes you were trying to take were gibberish. In the corners of the pages, there were some doodles. The one you were working on was some sort of flower.

The professor’s monotonous voice just added to the heaviness of your eyes, and you decided to just close them for a second. Just a moment, resting them for a bit.

You did just that, and with a heavy sigh, you opened them again.

But there was no professor or students’ backs. No classroom and no notes.

You were standing in the middle of a dimly lit room. It was minimal but cosy, with a comfortable bed on one side, a soft rug under your nude feet, and a desk against a big window, from which you could see a breathtaking view.

A deep shiver ran across your body from head to toe. Where the hell were you? Were you dreaming? Or having a psychotic moment? Your mouth felt dry, and you felt panic descending into your bloodstream.

A single sound in the silent room made you jump in place, and you covered your mouth with both palms. It was a person, resting their head on their arms on the desk. For a second you thought that was you and you were having an out-of-body experience, but then you noticed the wide shoulders, the veiny hands, and finally the expression of a young man, lifting his head to lock eyes with you.

He smiled as if he could see you and you felt pulled to smile back although you felt scared out of your mind one second prior.

“Pretty face today,” you heard yourself say. Then you furrowed your eyebrows and touched your lips as if not believing you actually said that to a stranger.

“Can look prettier with you sitting on it,” the young man replied lazily as if he was used to this kind of banter.

You felt your breath stop but your feet started to walk towards him as if they weren’t yours. He pushed his chair back to give you space and you placed his hands on his shoulders, slowly straddling his spread thighs. His eyes were deep but bright under his soft hair. You lifted one hand to feel it. It was pink, soft, and a bit damaged. He closed his eyes under your touch and his palms tightened their hold on your waist. They were warming your skin through the silk nightgown you were wearing.

“Be careful about what you desire,” you whispered. The words kept coming out of you as if you were under a spell and someone was moving you like a puppet.

He opened his eyes and stared at you, drinking in your features. “I’ve never regretted anything before.”

Then his expression darkened all of a sudden. You tilted your head to the side as if not understanding. “No,” he added, as an explanation. “Maybe I do regret something. Just one thing. Letting you go,” the young man murmured.

You had no idea what that meant but your body felt painful as if that phrase opened a wound you didn’t know you had.

You palmed his face, gently cupping his cheeks, sliding your fingers right under his jaw.

“I am here though.”

The young man’s lips stretched into a bitter smile. “Are you really?”

He exhaled deeply and let his head fall, burying his face into your chest, wrapping your body with his arms as tightly as he could. You did the same with his head, resting your lips on the crown of it, lulled by the scent of his shampoo.

“I’ll believe it even if just for a moment,” his voice buzzed against your skin. “Nothing wrong with talking to themselves and being delusional in your room, right, Haechan?” he added with a little smile in his voice, as if talking to himself.

You opened your mouth to say he wasn’t crazy because you were there when a sudden loud knock on the door made your heart fall to your guts.

You lifted your head from your arms with a gasp and focused your eyesight. The professor was still talking just as monotonously as before. None of your classmates noticed you falling asleep, so you exhaled and relaxed in your chair. The water on your desk looked delicious and you had a big gulp from the bottle. Then your eyes fell on the doodles you were doing before. You sighed and played with your pen, a weird sensation still lingering under your skin. Under the flowers you’ve drawn, you wrote a name.

Haechan.

__________

Haechan rolled his eyes at the knock on his door. He lifted his head from his arms and stretched them above his head.

Wasting the afternoons fantasizing about you has been a problem for him lately.

This time it felt so real that he had the sensation you’d actually been on his lap just seconds ago.

He rested his hands on his thighs and they felt warm.

Haechan whined feeling like going crazy, but a second more violent knock disturbed him again and destroyed the last remnants of your presence.

“Who’s there?” he asked, getting up and walking towards the door.

Mark opened it before Haechan could grab the handle. His eyes were wide like a deer’s and Haechan was about to ask what was going on before he could see the figure of another person behind his shoulders.

“This is Jaemin. Y/N’s new Dream Sorter. He needs to talk to you.”

__________

That evening you walked home instead of taking any transportation. The cool air should have been able to oxygenate your brain and you desperately needed that. The dream you had during class and the name you basically engraved in your notebook by outlining it for the remaining 20 minutes of class until it tore the page were heavy on your conscience.

Taeyong’s texts were also unread on your phone but you couldn’t see him that day.

Was it normal to have dreams about other men even if you had no idea who the men were? You felt horrible. Not because you felt guilty, but because of the lack of guilt.

You’ve been feeling weird lately, moody, and irritable.

You’d forget so many things, you’d misplace objects. It got to a point in which you’d nod and smile at everything Taeyong was telling you, although you had no memory of anything he was talking about.

You couldn’t talk to him about it. You couldn’t even mention it to Doyoung because he’d definitely snitch.

And it has been so embarrassing and actually humiliating to sit down and go through all of your stuff one night, looking for signs of you dating your boyfriend. You couldn’t remember your anniversary date. You had no photos together. You couldn’t recall any date you’ve been on. And you felt even more humiliated when you grabbed your phone to google early signs of memory loss.

But the worst thing of them all was your lack of feelings.

Was this the reason your brain was feeding you wet dreams with other men? To tell you to break up with him?

You stopped walking and passed one hand on your face with a groan.

Then you looked around and fumbled towards the closest bench you could see. The little notebook you started to use as a dream journal was pretty much empty, safe for the two dreams you had that week. You opened it and felt the pages, looking into your handwriting as if they were a code waiting to be broken. It wasn’t obvious to you before, but now you could tell. The energy of those dreams was the same. You couldn’t remember the man’s - Haechan? - face, but his touch, scent, and tone of voice were so recognizable that you felt stupid for not realizing the two dreams were connected.

Who was this man? Were you slowly descending into madness?

__________

Jaemin grunted when Haechang grabbed his collar and pushed him into the wall. “You smell like her.”

Haechan’s voice was low and cutting. Jaemin tried to smile but it came difficult while being strangled.

“Easy, easy. He’s her Dream Sorter and they’re in the same room every night. It’s normal,” Mark placed his hands on Haechan’s extended arm. Haechan didn’t look like wanting to drop it but Jaemin’s pleading voice made Haechan sigh and let go, patting his chest a few times to adjust the shirt.

Jaemin inhaled sharply as he got freed from Haechan’s clasp and dramatically slid a bit on the wall to rest his hands on the knees.

Haechan’s nostrils flared and then relaxed as if suddenly losing strength. “So it has been you all of this time,” he mumbled.

“He didn’t do anything to her,” Mark explained. “He’s here to help.”

Haechan felt dizzy. All of those times he felt your scent it was just Jaemin accidentally walking past him. He felt stupid for believing he kept having some sort of magical connection with you after you parted ways, but at the same time he was glad he actually smelled your scent and he wasn’t slowly losing his mind instead.

“Wow, that was something,” Jaemin massaged his neck and looked for a chair to sit down on.

Haechan crossed his arms on his chest. “You’ll survive.” If looks could kill Jaemin would have been incinerated already.

Mark rolled his eyes. “Haechan.”

The latter sighed and finally sat on the bed, shifting his weight forward to adjust himself and spreading his legs comfortably.

“Well?” he looked at Mark and then Jaemin. “I’m all ears.”

Jaemin gave Mark a look and Haechan understood they’d discussed the matter between themselves beforehand.

“I am her Dream Sorter now and I can see her dreams,” Jaemin started.

Haechan wasn’t impressed. Of course, he could see your dreams. The jealousy was eating his guts alive, but Haechan chose to not think about the Dream Sorter you might have gotten for his own sanity. Yet, there he was in his bedroom, flaunting it and pissing Haechan off.

“And she’s dreaming about you,” Jaemin finished.

Haechan forgot how to breathe.

__________

Taeyong was already sitting when you arrived at the little cafè you asked him to meet you at.

It wasn’t a date but the fairy lights above his head and the way he was waiting for you made your heart hurt.

“Hey,” you barely said, grabbing your own chair to sit down.

Taeyong lifted his head to look at you, but you didn’t dare to look him in the eyes.

“Hey,” he replied after a few moments.

He probably knew. Your dry “we need to talk” text after ignoring his messages was enough indication of what was going on.

When you finally let your gaze fall on his face your breath stopped. He was legit breathtaking. And so sad that you decided to look at his hands instead.

You were probably completely insane to want to break up with a man like Taeyong.

“You know I’ll sound completely crazy, but,” you started, “I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and-” you interrupted yourself, “-I don’t know when we started dating.”

You felt stupid saying that.

Taeyong’s face didn’t communicate anything. His deep dark eyes were drinking into your features instead as if he knew it was the last time seeing you.

He opened his lips after gulping once and told you about a random date. It didn’t mean anything to you.

“I don’t remember it,” your voice broke. “I don’t remember anything, Taeyong. I woke up one day and you were my boyfriend.”

The man sighed but he didn’t look surprised. That was even more creepy.

“There’s something going on with me that I need to resolve. So, I am not breaking up with you because you did something wrong or anything. It’s me.”

“I can give you some space. There’s no need to-”

“I like somebody else,” you sputtered on the spot then gasped softly. Taeyong stopped his phrase but he didn’t look shocked at this either. The most surprised one of the two was you. Why did you feel like dreaming? And why were dreams feeling more like reality?

“No. I meant I feel like- I don’t know,” you babbled, one hand to support your head. You didn’t like anybody else. Right? Then why did you feel like you did? Taeyong let you talk then leaned forward for a moment to gently put a strand of hair you messed up back in place.

“It’s okay,” he murmured. “I tried.”

You straightened your back at his words. He licked his lower lip once and you waited.

“Sometimes we try a lot with people it’s not meant to be. And we’re not meant to be. That’s why you feel that way. I get it now.”

His hand was placed right in front of you, and you wavered at first, but you knew he’d understand, so you just placed yours on top of it. His lips stretched in a tight smile.

“You know how in movies and books people are always meant to be? “

You nodded.

“I’ve always felt like I was surrounded by these couples and I forced myself into them like a third no one is really fond of.”

Taeyong’s tone was light and airy. Yet you could see the heaviness on his shoulders.

“And no, don’t say I’ll meet my own person in the future,” he smiled wider when you opened your mouth in an attempt to comfort him. “I’m alright.”

“I am sorry Taeyong.”

He shook his head. “No. I am sorry, and I owe you my apologies.”

“For what?”

“Haechan,” he simply said. “He’s the man you like, right?”

__________

“Well, that’s completely insane.”

Mark and Jaemin exchanged a worried look before going back to stare at the way Haechan kept pacing around the room, one hand on the hip, the other on his stressed forehead.

“No. That makes absolutely zero sense. It has never been seen before.” the young man suddenly stopped as he did a few times already while going through the stages of grief. So far it was only Denial and Mark sighed, wondering how much they’ll have to keep being there.

“And you?” Haechan indicated Jaemin with one accusatory finger. “You’ve been a fucking sick voyeur all of this time?”

Mark rolled his eyes. Great, he was at Anger already. Maybe it was going to be quicker than expected.

Jaemin huffed incredulously. “I tell you that your fantasies become her dreams and that’s what you're most worried about? Me seeing them?”

Haechan put the extended hand on his hip, staring Jaemin down like some pissed-off mother. “That’s a serious and normal concern. I’ve been-” he started but quickly interrupted himself as a dark shadow passed his eyes.

He cleared his throat looking at the floor for a moment.

Mark has never seen Haechan shy before.

“I’ve been thinking many things lately. The fact you’ve been in my mind all of this time through Y/N is making me feel violated.”

“What have you been fantasizing about?” Mark’s corner of the lip lifted.

“That’s not important.”

“Well, it looks important to you if you’re acting like that.”

“Listen,” Jaemin interrupted the two. “The most important thing is trying to understand how and why this is happening. Y/N should have completely forgotten you after she changed Dream Sorters. She doesn’t remember you but she can sense a connection. That is weird. And the way your fantasies become her dreams has never happened before.”

Mark and Haechan closed their mouths at Jaemin’s grave tone.

“With each dream, she grows closer to you. You also said your own name in the last dream and now she knows that too. She’s probably going to go insane and you said that’s why you separated in the first place. Now, all of that is useless. And I am also in the middle now. I should have reported this but I didn’t and if someone finds out they might take me out too.”

Haechan let his tongue bump into his cheek for a second. He didn’t like where this was going.

“You need to put a stop to this,” Jaemin’s eyes were dark and cold.

“How?”

Haechan knew the answer even before Jaemin could reply.

“No ties. You need to stop thinking about her.”

__________

You didn’t understand Taeyong at first. Haechan sounded like something very important that has been escaping your mind. You felt like that about everything lately, as if you were in some sort of nightmare.

“I don’t understand,” you replied with a tiny voice.

Taeyong’s eyebrows furrowed but he remained silent.

“I thought-”

“You thought what?” you asked when he hesitated. His pupils were wide and dark, looking at you, but he couldn’t see you for real.

His eyes suddenly twinkled and his jaw relaxed. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

You blinked at him, more confused than before.

“No. You have to tell me now.”

Taeyong’s lips went as far as stretch in a secret smile he thought you couldn’t see. You suddenly felt cold.

“We can break up. Don’t worry about it.”

You looked at him as he suddenly stood up and wore his jacket. “See you in class.”

__________

The only thing Haechan had for himself was the freedom to use his head the way he wanted to.

If you weren’t there, he could make you up in his mind.

If he couldn’t kiss your lips he could imagine their softness.

If he couldn’t hold you he could pretend his hands were on your body.

And now he learned he couldn’t even do that.

He skipped Bargaining and was already in the Depression stage.

His room was getting lighter with sunrise, a sign it was almost night in your world, and it somehow made Haechan’s headache worse. So, he just closed his eyes, pillow on his face, to try and drown any sensation.

He might as well just die at that point, he snickered without humour.

Jaemin told him to try it out for just one night, just to test the theory.

But Haechan was so not good at following any orders.

Some time passed and Haechan was still there, unable to fall asleep, unable to relax, unable to stop thinking about you.

He huffed loudly, throwing the pillow towards the window where it stopped against the wall.

“I am trying, okay?” he looked up at the ceiling as if Jaemin was there looking down at him. The sensation of being watched made his skin shiver, but it wasn’t exactly unpleasant. The realization made Haechan shiver again. Was that a common kink?

He scoffed, turning to one side. Then to the other.

The bed creaked under his hard movements and his mind went to the sound of the bed he fucked you on that night- no.

No no. Haechan stop. You can’t. No.

He whined a little and opened his eyes.

He couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t allowed to. Was this how you felt all of that time? It was hell.

I mean, couldn’t he even rub one out either? You had nothing to do with his cock, per se. The important thing was to not think about you while doing that.

Shouldn’t be hard. Right?

__________

Your apartment was dark just like your brain after talking to Taeyong. The walk felt wobbly and you’ve never felt more grateful to touch the pillow with your head. Maybe after a good night's sleep, everything would make more sense. You sighed and tried to relax. Then you huffed on one side.

Taeyong’s words kept rolling in your head meaninglessly.

Haechan Haechan Haechan. The man you liked.

What did that mean? Was Haechan the man you’ve been dreaming? You were pretty sure you’ve heard or read it somewhere before.

In class? Maybe.

In your notes? Probably.

Think.

Notes? Your school notes?

You gasped and sat up, remembering the dream you had and the word you wrote down in your notes, circling it. You looked around, trying to find your bag in the darkness but the outline of the room felt suddenly off. The sun was timidly starting to shine from behind your back and you realized the floor was cold against your knees.

In front of you, there was a bed and a man sleeping on it.

Haechan’s hair was curled and spread on the pillow, just a single strand still on his forehead. It got knocked away as he pushed his head back into the bed, even more, eyes closed as if almost in pain. You could make sense of the silhouette of his plump lips, open in a silent whimper, against the dark purple of the window, and of his Adam’s apple in his extended throat. It moved as he swallowed, and you felt bewitched until you noticed the movement of his fingers instead. They were sliding down his nude stomach and the movements of his lean abs flinching under the touch were so enticing that you couldn’t look away. But then the silence got disrupted by a short groan and your eyes darted back to his face scrunched as if in pain or pleasure. Perhaps both, because from the way he was teasing himself on top of his sweats you could tell he was on edge.

“Fuck,” he whispered but you could hear him very well as his hips bucked upwards against his palm. The pants were low on his hips and the view made you tighten your thighs together. You wanted to walk over, touch him the way he was touching himself, but you couldn’t move for some reason, and the frustration just made you even damper. You just had to watch at the way two veins snaked under his band, and you imagined how they would feel under your tongue. Would his skin be hot? Yes, you decided, as if you already knew, and it would be silky, getting even silkier as you'd go down even more, following the veins with your tongue until meeting the tip of his cock. You wondered what Haechan's voice would sound like. Husky? Deep? Or whiny and breathy? You didn't have to think too much about that, because a grunt filled your years and you realized you missed the moment he took off his clothes. His long fingers were finally on his hard cock, lazily pumping it, reaching for his balls with the other hand, pressing his thumb on the leaking tip. You felt your throat dry as you tried to gulp. Not once in your life you've assisted to such erotic view, Haechan pleasuring himself making you so dazy you had to rest your head on something, but there was nothing around. And when he started to whimper, fist moving up and down faster, his other hand pushing back his hair on the forehead, you couldn't bear it anymore. The heat between your legs got too much and you exhaled shakily, wanting to cum so badly. Haechan looked so fine you wanted to just sink on his cock, feeling those hands on your hips, asking you where you wanted him to cum. You'd say you want him to fill you all up inside and he'd do just that, feeling you clench around him until

until

you looked around your room with a sharp breath. The sun wasn't out yet but your alarm was due to ring anytime now. Winter was coming, you realized. Then you realized the mess you made during the night and the way your legs were squeezed together, shaking uncontrollably. “Shit.”

You inhaled deeply, ignoring the fact it sounded like a whine and you relaxed your legs on the mattress. “Shit shit shit.”

You've never been woken up by an orgasm before. It was still lingering under your skin and on the tips of your fingers.

You ignored the way you were pulsating and grabbed your phone with shaky hands, turning off the alarm before it could ring.

"I had another wet dream" you typed into your notes, on the page dedicated to your dreams. You realized you were writing them everywhere.

Then you stared at the ceiling as if trying to remember anything else. A man, pleasuring himself on a bed. You couldn't move or touch him. He was dreamy and you were pretty sure by now that his name was Haechan.

__________

Haechan was rolling peas on his plate when a hard slap on his shoulder made him cough.

“Are you fucking insane?” he asked when he found his voice. “What’s wrong with you?”

But Mark’s spirited expression didn’t care about Haechan’s tone. “You need to come with me.”

“Whatever is going on there’s no need to beat me over it.”

“Get up right now. I found something.”

Haechan sighed, not in the mood to hang out with anyone.

“It’s about Y/N,” the other lowered his voice.

Haechan closed his mouth. “I made sure to not think about her.”

Mark grabbed him by the arm and pulled him up to his feet.

“I talked to Jaemin again. I know, I shouldn’t get involved but this whole thing made me want to research further. No one knows, so you understand this is confidential, right?”

“As if I would tell this to anyone. Don’t be stupid.”

Mark was talking quietly and fast while walking just as fast towards what Haechan guessed was his apartment.

“Slow the fuck down. What exactly is going on? Is she okay? Is she hurt?”

Mark stopped in his place. “You said it was weird that she was friends with Taeyong, the dude killed over his Dreamer.”

Haechan blinked emptily for a moment before the realization made his whole body turn into mush. He had no time to fully think about that man and, honestly, he really hated his guts.

Mark held onto his shoulders. “Yeah. She was his Dreamer. And she couldn’t remember that. Why? We don’t know yet. But he of course could remember her and he sabotaged you two when he discovered she was in love with you. Now they’re dating. I interrogated Jaemin against all rules oh my god what if they discover-”

Haechan felt his head full of cotton and Mark was talking way too quickly. “Wait, wait. I don’t understand shit. And so, what? She was right. It was not worth it. Dating in her dreams? Absurd. If she’s happy with him then so be it. They’re in the same world. I was ready to go to hell after being killed but she didn’t want me anymore-”

“She got convinced she did it for your sake. Taeyong didn’t tell her there is a way for you two to be together so he could have her for himself.” Haechan couldn’t process it fast enough. Mark patted his cheek with a little smile.

“I found the way. I’m going to help you get back with her.”

__________

Haechan was sitting down on Mark’s couch. Every time he was there something was going on and he started to grow sick of that place.

“So, a summary of what we know so far.”

“You don’t have to tell-” Haechan started but Mark interrupted. Haechan rolled his eyes.

“You were Y/N’s Dream Sorter and that was your first job,” he taped a picture of you and Haechan on the wall.

“What are you, and investigator?” Haechan cackled but leaned forward to rest his elbows on the knees. He really wanted that photo of you for himself.

“And you both fell in love with each other,” Mark continued, uniting the two pictures with a red thread.

Haechan felt his ears go red so he absentmindedly rubbed one earlobe. He didn’t confirm nor deny.

“Now, this dude,” Mark taped a photo of Taeyong near you. Where was he getting those pics from? “Past Dream Sorter. He fell in love with her but we don’t know if-”

“She didn’t like him back,” Haechan interrupted.

Mark cleared his throat. “Well, we don’t know y-”

“She didn’t.”

“Alright alright,” Mark united Taeyong’s pic with yours with a different coloured thread. “This is nice, isn’t it?”

Haechan rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Is this a game for you? Are you having fun?”

“I am, sorry. Now, Jaemin. New Dream Sorter.”

Haechan was starting to get bored.

“Pressing question, when did you become her Dream Sorter?” Mark asked.

The other man thought about it for a moment. “Right after graduation. Like a year ago.”

“So, it means that’s when Taeyong stopped to be her Dream Sorter. Although in his file it is written it all happened way back in the past. This is why we never thought about him.”

Haechan watched Mark place little year cards to the connections with furrowed eyebrows.

“It will come out as a shock but I’m not following you right now,” Haechan commented, scratching one eyebrow.

“Taeyong must have gotten killed right before you became Y/N’s Dream Sorter for it all to work out,” Mark tapped his face with the index finger.

Haechan’s eyes tightened. “Then he’s supposed to be a titty-sucking newborn if he got killed last year.”

Mark hit the wall with one palm. “But he’s a grown-up motherfucker.”

The other’s eyes widened.

“He wasn’t killed to be reborn. He escaped this place.”

__________

Jaemin stirred the ice in his coffee for the fifth time in two minutes.

“Can you stop doing that? It’s fucking annoying,” Haechan snapped.

The other scoffed. “You’re in no position to give any orders, Hornatron 2000.”

Mark sat up extending his palms. “Okay, let’s calm down. I said I have a plan.”

Haechan groaned, rubbing his face with one palm. “No, you don’t.”

“We just need to discover how Taeyong escaped and make you do the same. This is a brilliant idea.”

Jaemin stirred the ice in his coffee again shaking his head like the most shocked grandma.

“You guys are completely crazy. I said we need to tell Taeil about this and end it here. He won’t kill you over horny thoughts, which by the way, you didn’t bother to try and not have.”

Haechan’s head snapped upwards.

“I didn’t think about her last night, don’t fuck with me.”

“Really now? Rubbing one out? Well, you had spectators. And two of them, unfortunately, one of which not your dear girlfriend.”

Mark made a face as if glad he wasn’t involved.

Haechan was mortified. “I wasn’t even sleeping.”

Jaemin lifted his unoccupied hand in the air and shrugged. “Told you it’s a big deal. Let’s tell Taeil.”

Mark shook his head. “We don’t tell shit to anyone. We’ll make Haechan escape.”

“You don’t even know how that works. Worst case scenario, Haechan dies and he’s born a fucking baby. Is this girl even worth it? Come on now.”

Haechan got up. “Listen listen. This connection thing has to be tested first.”

“Think about her now, then,” Mark lifted one eyebrow.

“She’s not sleeping. It’s day there.”

“Try it,” Jaemin added.

Haechan huffed but closed his eyes against his will. Mark and Jaemin waited in silence as if you could appear like a ghost any time soon.

“I can’t when you’re here!” Haechan’s voice disrupted the silence and the other two men jumped in place. “Have you guys ever heard of something like this? Materializing Dreamers only by thinking of them? Crazy stuff. We’re all going crazy now.”

The two young men assisted to Haechan’s short monologue, but their gazes weren’t on him anymore. Haechan furrowed his eyebrows.

“At least pay attention to me?” he continued. “What’s so interesting behind me that-” he turned around to meet your wide eyes. His hair physically got pushed back by the sheer power of your shriek.

“What the fuck?!”

You were soaking wet in a bathtub, your arms tightly crossed on your chest and the bubbles of the bath slowly descending down your head.

Haechan started at you with an open mouth then turned around briefly to check if the others were seeing you too. From their dead expressions they definitely could and from your furious eyes, Haechan understood you could see them too.

“This has never happened before,” he tried to explain.

“What kind of fucking dream is this?” you asked. “I was taking a bath.”

“I can see it,” Haechan commented. Then realization washed over him. “You look away!” he directed his words to the two, still shocked, guys behind him.

They cleared their throats and looked away.

Haechan opened his closet and frantically looked for his robe. “Wear this. We need to talk,” he handed you the item.

You looked at his hand and then at his face, not letting go of your confused expression.

But you listened to him and grabbed the robe. Haechan turned around to give you privacy and he exhaled. Mark and Jaemin were frantically discussing between themselves.

Haechan felt like drowning in a dream that he couldn’t escape. You came and went in waves, leaving him disoriented. He could wait for you at the bottom. He could also stay away if you wanted him to. He could wait for years. He could do everything.

And you were there.

“Can you just-” he heard your voice, and he turned around again. You were extending your hand for him to help you outside of the tub.

Your skin was soft and still a bit damp and he thought he was going to lose his mind on the spot.

You were there.

“Okay what the hell is going on?” you asked when you were on your feet. Your hand slipped from Haechan’s and he realized he has never been that nervous in his life.

Mark took a step forward to save Haechan from his frenzy. “Hi, I am Mark, and this is Jaemin and you might want to sit down for what we’ll tell you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and they could see the way you were trying to understand if you were having the most lucid dream of your life or if you were actually there.

They had no idea either.

“And you are Haechan,” you added, looking at him. Haechan nodded, a bit take back.

“Okay, so you know it because he said it himself before, right?” Jaemin asked.

“Yes,” you hesitated.

Jaemin hit his palm with one fist. “Told you guys. Every time you think of her she gets dreams of you and she remembers them.”

“Wait what?” You looked around trying to get more information. Mark grabbed your arms and pulled you towards Haechan’s bed, making you sit down.

“If this is a dream, does it mean I am sleeping in the tub? Because that’s very dangerous,” you added. Mark looked concerned for a second.

“We’ll get to that, I think.”

“Are you really going to do all of this?” Haechan rubbed his eyebrow as if his friends were embarrassing him in front of his crush. Which was basically the truth.

Mark wasn’t listening and took out his pictures and coloured string, starting to put everything up on Haechan’s wardrobe.

Jaemin sat down on the chair near him and took a defeated sip from his coffee.

Haechan didn’t have any choice but to sit near you.

“Haechan.”

The man turned around. It didn’t sound like a question but your tone wasn’t sure.

“Y/N.”

You closed your mouth. Your eyes looked wide, taking in the view and processing. Haechan could almost hear your brain cells trying to piece everything together. The moment your gazes increasingly intertwined, your dream began.

“Is this a dream?” you asked.

“I think so.”

“I finally meet you.”

Haechan’s warm eyes closed for a moment and his fingers twitched. “Yeah, finally,” he exhaled.

“You’d think I am crazy, but I know you somehow. Like some sort of deja-vu. You’re familiar but unfamiliar at the same time. And it’s true I saw you before in dreams,” you added.

“I don’t think you’re crazy at all.”

“Do you know me?”

“Yes,” he simply said.

“How? Are we both dreaming?”

Haechan smiled at the actual deja-vu moment. “Yes.”

You frowned a little but didn’t question him. “Alright.”

The man blinked as if surprised. “You don’t want to know what this place is and what’s going on and-”

You shook your head. He looked at your eyes then lips, then every other feature on your face. His pupils were expanded and his breath was shaky.

“I have so many questions but-,” you stopped to think, “something’s going on. I don’t understand but maybe that’s for the better.”

“Are you afraid to know the truth?”

You felt your mouth tighten in a smile. “Yeah.”

Haechan’s body felt warm as he suddenly pulled you towards it, his arms tight around your waist. You exhaled sharply and felt tears prickle your eyes. You felt the material of his white button-down while sliding your hands around his neck.

As if you’ve been carrying a very heavy weight for years and suddenly it was gone, you felt so light that the tears didn’t want to stop sliding down your cheeks. One of his palms supported the back of your head and the touch of his fingers in your hair made you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck even more.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, feeling your shaky breaths while caressing your back.

“I missed you,” you heard yourself say. “Where have you been? I feel like I’ve been looking for you for so long.”

“I know. Everything will be clear soon. I promise.”

“I feel like I’ve been slowly losing my mind but I don’t really care.”

You smiled and Haechan chuckled. “You think I’m crazy right?” you asked.

“Okay, sorry guys, here I am,” Mark clapped his hands and you had to let go of Haechan.

You looked at the intricate mental map Mark prepared, and you jolted seeing Taeyong’s face on there too. That was officially the weirdest dream you’ve ever had in your whole life.

“I’ll make it quick,” Mark started, “this is you.”

You opened your mouth to ask how he got your picture but he kept talking.

“This is Haechan. And he was your Dream Sorter. This is Taeyong and he used to be your Dream Sorter before Haechan.”

“What?” you interrupted.

“And this is Jaemin, your Dream Sorter now.”

Jaemin lifted one little hand.

“Dream Sorters are people who, as the name says, sort you into dreams. You and all the people from your world. This fellow,” he indicated Taeyong, “fell in love with you. That’s not good. So, he should have technically gotten killed. After dying we become people like you, or at least that’s what they tell us. If he got killed, he should be a baby right now. But he’s a grown man and he’s friends with you. Meaning, he didn’t get killed, but he escaped somehow. Which tells us that it is possible to go there, and survive, and remember it.”

Mark finished and put his hands together staring at you. Jaemin’s eyes were on you as well and you could see Haechan’s attentive gaze in your peripheral vision.

You felt dizzy.

“Okay. Wait. Why are you telling me all this?”

Mark blinked back as if not expecting that question. “So, you know. Because we plan to send Haechan over to your world too. For you.”

Your head snapped towards him. “Why would you do something like that?”

Haechan’s mouth was open. “You don’t want me to?”

You shook your head. “Wait this is too much information to take in.”

You got up and tied the robe around you more tightly.

“Am I dreaming right now?”

“Technically yes, but this has never happened before,” Jaemin explained. “Usually when you sleep, yes, you come here but it’s controlled under my supervision. Now you just appeared in Haechan’s room because he just thought of you. This is very dangerous, and he can’t just stop thinking about you so we have to do something about it.”

That information made your whole body heat up.

Haechan looked up at you with wide luscious eyes as if he felt guilty.

“I can try to stop if,” he interrupted himself to gulp, “if you want me to stop. I’ll figure it out.”

“What happens when I think of you?” you asked no one in particular.

Haechan’s eyebrow furrowed but Mark looked enthusiastic. “Let’s test it. You need to wake up though.”

“How?”

The young men fell into silence for a moment.

“I have an idea,” Jaemin mumbled.

__________

The corridors of the place looked like a very high-end hotel. You were following Jaemin with Haechan right after him holding your hand, then Mark behind you, in the utmost silence. Your feet were nude, but the floor wasn’t cold.

“Where are we going again?” you tried.

“Shh,” all three boys replied in unison.

“Geez,” you whispered.

Haechan’s fingers intertwined with yours were making you feel timid, but you tried to act cool about it.

Who was he? Your lover? Your boyfriend? Someone you loved in the past and you forgot about it?

But looking at his back it felt so familiar. If your mind forgot something, your body surely didn’t, because your fingertips would be able to model Haechan’s back curve in clay in that same instant, and you knew for sure the spots where he had hidden beauty marks.

You felt hot and dizzy.

You’ve never felt like that with Taeyong. It never felt right with him.

Lost in your thoughts, you didnt’ realize the two men in front of you stopped and you hit Haechan’s back with your nose. Mark hit the back of your head.

“Ouch,” you whispered in unison with him.

“It’s here,” Jaemin looked at you all.

You had no idea what to expect when he said here, but a green and purple room wasn’t it.

A sense of deja-vu filled you, and you walked behind what was a hotel counter. In front of you was the door of an elevator and on the sides of the room were six golden doors, three on each side.

You eyed the pamphlets on the counter and the old-fashioned pastel pink telephone. For some reason, you pulled at a drawer and saw two pairs of white gloves.

“I have one of these!” you exclaimed, searching for Haechan’s eyes, a weird heat entering your body and making your legs feel like jelly.

He nodded as if he knew. “I gave it to you,” he explained.

“What is this place?” you walked around feeling like you’ve been there before.

“Here is where you come every night and I sort you in dreams,” Jaemin replied, leaning on the counter.

“Why do I not remember you?” you asked.

“Because we have no connection. That’s how it is supposed to be,” he replied, the last phrase sounding like a critique as he eyed his colleague.

Haechan scratched the back of his head.

The pieces were all starting to go together in that weird puzzle. You felt frightened but mostly you were just afraid that you’d wake up and realize that none of that was real. You were afraid that the second your life finally felt right you’d wake up in a nightmare called reality.

“What now?” you wondered.

“You need to go through one of the rooms, dream something, and then you’ll wake up. At that point, please try to think of Haechan as much as possible to see if he can-” Mark started then interrupted himself as if he also realized how insane that sounded, “-appear in your reality.”

“What if nothing happens?”

“Just go by your day and go to sleep normally. You’ll be here next time too. We’ll wait,” Haechan murmured. He was close to you, and you shivered.

You didn’t want to go. What if you couldn’t see him anymore?

“Can you come with me in the dream?” you asked timidly.

“That’s dangerous,” Jaemin replied for Haechan.

“I can do it,” the latter said.

“Everything in the dream might attack you. You’re not her Dream Sorter anymore,” the other added.

Haechan ignored him and held your hand again pulling you towards a random room.

“Haechan if it’s dangerous-” you started but he didn’t let you finish.

He opened the door, and the light engulfed you.

You opened your eyes in front of a huge window - your parents’ house. Your nude feet were now on the tiles of the balcony on the second floor and the sun was setting behind the horizon.

“Haechan?” you tried to call, but the silence was heavy, not even a single car making noise down the street.

“I’m coming up,” a voice announced, and you looked down and screamed, seeing Haechan hanging from the balcony rails.

“What the hell happened to you?” you asked, one hand on top of your mouth before you could lean down to give him a hand.

“I can manage,” he replied with a chuckle, and you watched him jump over the rail, and onto the balcony.

Haechan sighed heavily, not looking at you and walking towards the bench instead. You didn’t remember your parents having, a bench on their balcony but you were glad it was there.

It was a warm sunset, and your balcony was lit with orange hues. The thud of him sitting down made you jolt a bit then you sighed too.

“Let me see,” you ordered, placing yourself in front of him, grabbing his chin, and lifting his face up.

Haechan’s eyes were shining as he looked at you from under his fringe.

You gulped, pupils moving to look at his busted lip first then the bloody eyebrow. “How did you get this?”

Haechan chuckled again. “Unfriendly situations. This dream will be destroyed, I’m afraid.”

You felt sorry for him but then all of a sudden, he smirked and moved his head down to catch your fingertip with his mouth, placing a quick soft kiss on it.

“Eye!” you slid your arm away and he chuckled once. His lip cut opened more, and he winced soon after, letting his tongue go over it.

"Shit," he mumbled.

“You look terrible,” you walked away and entered the house to grab the medication. When you passed the bathroom mirror you didn’t want to look at the way your eyes were blown out. Or think about the way your fist was guarding the skin you felt his lips on.

When you exited on the balcony again, Haechan was resting with his head on the wall and with closed eyes. You moved slowly, looking at the way the setting sun danced on his skin until you noticed him smiling.

“You sure love staring at me,” he said in a low voice.

“I wasn’t-”

“You’re talking with a Dream Sorter. We have eyes on the back.”

“No, you don’t,” you placed the stuff on the bench near him.

Haechan opened his eyes right when you leaned down to press the piece of wet cotton on his eyebrow making you inhale more sharply than normal. He smiled a bit but only for a split second because soon after he opened his mouth to inhale too, feeling the disinfectant on his wounds.

“Fuck."

“Just a moment,” you mumbled, going from his brow to the lip, lightly pouting and blowing on his wounds to give him a bit of relief.

Haechan stared at your mouth, and you shivered feeling his hands creep around your thighs and pull you towards him a bit.

“Hey,” you warned him.

“Need to anchor me. The pain is unbearable,” he whispered amused, and the movement shifted his fringe on the forehead again. You lifted one hand and passed it through it, pushing it back to not let it touch the brow. Haechan gulped and closed his eyes for a brief moment at the gesture.

“Y/N, I think I am going to kiss you now.”

His low tone made you gulp.

“You can’t. Your lip is wounded.”

“Then you kiss me.”

You looked down at his mouth then quickly away, fumbling with the plasters in your hand.

“Stop joking.”

Haechan pouted with a loud “hm.”

“But I’m hurt. I just want a little cute healing peck.”

His fingers around your bare thighs got tighter though and the way his eyes shone in the dusk didn’t seem cute to you.

Rolling your eyes to the side you suddenly leaned down and kissed his temple for a moment.

Haechan exhaled, thrilled, and slid his hands upwards on your body, over your ass until reaching the curve of your back.

“On the cheek too,” he ordered.

You scoffed but the tingles on your lips were screaming for more, so you felt his soft skin again. He chuckled at the peck and chuckled again as you kissed his forehead too. When you reached his nose, he lost patience and pulled you down on himself, mouths hungrily on each other. Your knees bent for you to straddle his lap and his hands felt cold as he cupped your face and went around your jaw and behind your neck.

“Haechan,” you breathed out, breaking the kiss. “Your lip.”

He smirked. “What about it?”

You blinked fast and lifted one finger to touch the corner of his mouth where the skin was pristine.

“It’s- not there anymore,” you mumbled. Then you looked at his brow where the wound was slowly closing in front of your eyes.

“You!”

He chuckled delightedly.

“You can do this? You let me medicate you on purpose!”

He shook his head and hid his face in your bosom. “It’s not me healing it. It’s your kisses.”

"You're a brat!"

"And you love it."

"I do not."

"Your heart is beating so fast right now."

"It's because I'm mad!"

He lifted his face from your breasts and looked up mischievously.

"And I can feel your pulse on my thigh. You're throbbing."

His words made you widen your eyes and you tried to pull away from him but in vain.

His crystalline laughter filled your ears as his arms didn't let you budge a centimetre.

"Can I get you off?" he whispered, and you realized too late that you whined back.

"Is that a yes?"

You closed your eyes and gulped. You shook your head. Then you nodded.

Haechan clicked his tongue.

"Words."

"Yes," you breathed out, fingers slowly grabbing his shirt tighter and tighter as if preparing for something.

"Why are you so tense?" he soothed your spine, making you bounce on his leg a few times as if it could help you relax.

"Alright, I can make you soften up," he announced and just like that your core slid forwards on his jeans once and you let out a single silent oh.

Haechan imitated you amused. "Oh?", his hands cupping your ass and guiding your movement.

"Feels good?"

You whined once again, your breathing increasing in pace at each roll of your hips on his leg.

"Yeah," you replied softly.

"Show me how good it feels," he ordered, gripping your body, sliding one cool hand under your shirt until cupping your breast.

You bit your lower lip, frustrated, and propped yourself up a bit, rolling your hips on his thigh every second quicker than the previous.

Haechan's amusement was palpitant and you wanted to make it turn his expression into a mess as well. Leaning down, you attached your lips to his neck, kissing it slowly and reaching his ear where your soft moans could vibrate into his body. You felt his cock twitch near your thigh and your palm descended to it after carefully palming his torso.

It was so sinful that it made you dizzy. There was something so desperate in the way you'd chase your high on him, not even taking your clothes off, as if not having the force to do that. And him too, letting his head back on the wall, looking at you with hooded eyes and breathing out faster under your hand touching him.

As if reading your mind, you opened your eyes to Haechan's whispering.

"I like the way you look like that. So naughty. On your balcony for everyone to see what a needy girl you are. For Jaemin to see too."

"Shut up-," you resorted, your hand quick to cup his balls, making him choke. His hips bucked up into nothing and the slap on your ass was so loud that it probably resonated in all the neighbourhood.

You whined loudly and rested your forehead on his shoulder as his palm gripped the softness of your skin.

"You liked that?" he asked, and you exchanged a messy look, lips brushing against each other, drinking in his breath.

"Yeah," you repeated mindlessly. "I'm close, so close-,"

"Hm, cum all over my thigh."

Like a spell, as if he actually had magical powers, you whined loudly and seized up, limbs trembling as if electricity danced through them. Haechan held you tight against his body, hands rubbing your back and sides, hushed praises against your neck.

"We're not-," you tried to speak as you came down your thigh. "We're not talking about this."

"I will not shut up about this," his smile vibrated on your lips.

You swallowed and helplessly tried to get off his leg without success.

"I think-," you licked your lower lip, "It’s time for me to wake up.”

Haechan hummed and grabbed your chin, making you kiss him deeply.

“Think about me,” he murmured and before realizing you gasped, grabbing at your slippery bathtub, trying to understand what the hell just happened.

__________

It took you a while to get dry and just sit on your bed, thinking back at your dream. It felt so real that you couldn’t have made up all of that yourself. Haechan said to think of him, and you were thinking but nothing really was happening.

You groaned and fell down on the bed.

It was already late in the night and the other option was to fall asleep and supposedly meet them in the weird hotel Lobby to discuss. But the nap you took in the tub got rid of all the tiredness.

“Haechan,” you started to call out then you felt stupid and stopped.

How was it possible that when you were sleeping everything felt so real yet when you were awake it felt like you were just losing your mind?

What did they mean with think of Haechan? You’ve been thinking of him so many times, yet nothing happened before.

You huffed and let yourself fall back on the bed. The dark ceiling would get illuminated by the car lights outside, passing by.

You lifted one hand up in the air.

“Haechan,” you murmured, imagining his fingers gently sliding between yours, from your palm up to meet your fingertips.

You inhaled and exhaled deeply, almost feeling his touch.

But he never appeared, and your hand remained empty.

__________

“Listen, my shift is over,” Jaemin lifted one eyebrow towards Mark who was standing legs wide open and hands on his hips, like some sort of airport dad, in front of the golden door you and Haechan disappeared through.

“Is the dream over? Have you seen it?” Mark asked.

Jaemin shivered. “Not yet. Will see it later. Not excited to do it. But she’s awake.”

Mark crossed his arms on his chest. “Where’s Haechan then? He should be back here by now.”

“Maybe he did it,” Jaemin straightened his back, surprised.

The silence engulfed them both for a moment.

Mark giggled once.

Then chuckled.

Then laughed. A hyena laugh to resonate in the whole Lobby.

“He did it. That son of a bitch.”

_____________

Haechan opened his eyes to nothing, and panic washed over him.

Was he dead?

But he could feel his ass sitting on something and when he tentatively felt around, he could make sense of a shoe. Then he leaned forwards and he hit his forehead on something hard. He yelped and tried to put a hand on it to cool the pain when his elbow hit some kind of box, and something fell on his face.

The closet door opened in an instant with a bang and Haechan could see you, baseball bat in your hands, through the lace of the thongs that fell on his eyes.

“No fucking way,” you murmured. “What the fuck are you doing in my closet?”

Haechan quickly put away the underwear and tried to get up, but his head hit the top shelf this time. “Shit,” he mumbled.

You could just stand there, mouth open and eyes wide, trying to understand if you were still dreaming or not.

When Haechan managed to crawl, one sneaker in half of his foot, and got up in front of you, you exhaled.

“Hey,” he said then winced, touching his forehead where a little bump was starting to grow. “Too many injuries in the past few hours.”

“Can you cure it?” you asked.

Haechan blinked back. “Well, not this time, no.”

You both stood there for a moment as if in a daze, then as soon as you let the baseball bat fall to the ground Haechan’s arms wrapped around your body.

The tears collected in your eyes on their own and your breath went missing.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” you whispered in the crook of his neck. His scent felt so real and his body so firm.

Haechan was real and he was there.

“I know,” he replied, probably as shocked.

“Are you okay?” you pulled away quickly to grab his face with both of your hands and analyse his features. Haechan let you fondle his cheeks and rub on his skin.

“Besides getting a lip cut, an eyebrow cut, hitting my head twice? Yes. I think I’m good.”

“How? How is this-” you stuttered.

“I think-” Haechan started, “like that damned glove,” he inhaled, “you just didn’t let me go.”

__________

The morning felt warmer. You did not know if it was because of the ray of sun shining through the windows or because of Haechan’s - very real and very present - arms around your body.

"Fuck, I slept so much. What did I miss?" you mumbled.

Haechan rubbed his sleepy hands on your back. "This dick."

"Thank God. I thought I missed something big."

He clicked his tongue. “I will tackle you.”

You smiled, nuzzling your face into Haechan’s chest even more. “I can’t believe you’re here. What if I’m dreaming?”

Haechan’s warm palms on your back made you exhale pleasantly. “Would that be so bad?”

You looked up at him, resting your chin on his chest. “No. If this is a dream, the only request I have is to never wake up.”

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