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gimmehyuck · 2 years

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reckless heroism | l.dh

summary. you've kept your secret for all of six months, mostly to keep your friends - him - safe. when he finds out, it puts your skills of truly wanting to keep him safe to the test.

or in other words, he's your mary jane. the damsel in distress. and he may or may not be happy about it.

pairing. protective med student!hyuck x spiderwoman!yn, feat. nomin

words. roughly 10.3k~ish

genre. friends to lovers, angst, general fluff, serious mutual pining, seriously, they know they like each other and so does everyone else, some action? idk i wrote this after obsessing over the latest spiderman movie it just took me a century to post it, technically two kiss scenes.

warnings. a bi jaehyun is a Very Bad Guy™, like a bit unhinged and does not nice things. you have been warned. also mentions of blood, injuries, guns, things blow up etc. it's an action based au, whatever else comes from that. also i know nothing about med school, sorry.

p.s. i use an -almost- direct line from tom holland's spiderman... see if you can spot it... hehe

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donghyuck wasn’t sure how he ended up in this position.

categorizing his injuries quickly like his training taught is what helped him stay grounded. his ribs felt as if they had taken a severe beating, and his head was throbbing.

probably a concussion.

his eyes burned from the blood that leaked down his face into them from a gash he got earlier, facial wounds always bled worse he reminded himself. he was nauseous but he assumed that was from the overwhelming smell of smoke from the explosion that destroyed half the building.

he brought his hand up to cradle his head, his ears were ringing so loudly. and they just kept ringing, and ringing, and ringing, and…

“hyuck, please! focus!” he finally heard the yelling over the sound of sirens going off in his head.

he blinked once, twice, trying to get his eyes to lock in and focus; he searched around to try and find the sound of the voice that had yelled for him.

his blurry vision tried to clear but it went in and out in intervals. with the moments spent in focus, he saw you, standing over him, shouldering a very heavy looking slab of concrete, arms shaking from the weight.

“hey, hyuck, are you with me now?” you groaned, face screwing in exertion.

he noticed your suit was torn in places, your mask long since forgotten, dust and debris littered your face and hair. you were bleeding from cuts on your face and even though he could see you physically shaking from trying to hold up the weight, he saw you sigh in annoyance at him.

“hyuck!” you yelled this time, frustration lining your voice.

“yeah,” he croaked out, his voice coming out gravelly.

“yeah, i’m here now.” he squinted up at you, watching as your frustration ebbed away and you smiled.

even in all this, you still smiled at him. and that’s when everything came back in a flood, and he realized…

maybe this was his fault after all.

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donghyuck was playing his game loudly on his PC, rapidly clicking his mouse and yelling through his headset.

“jaemin, no, no, dammit! now i’m dead because you – jeno, don’t yell at me for yelling at your boyfriend, i just died!” donghyuck whined dramatically into the mic, and he jumped a little when he heard his door open and click shut.

“hyuck,” he heard your familiar voice calling softly from across the room. since he was dead anyways, he swiveled around in his chair, a smile already working its way on his face, but the moment he saw you, he froze.

his brain took a moment to process what he saw and even then, it still didn’t make any sense. his mouth opened and shut rapidly, trying to form any semblance of a thought, any attempt of words but eventually he landed on just your name.

“y/n is there? turn on your camera so we can say hey!” he heard jisung say through the headset. you seemed to have heard jisung and you rapidly shook your head no, putting a gloved finger to your lips. you made a motion pointing at his headset and made a slicing motion across your throat. when he didn’t move a muscle, you repeated the motion more frantically, eyes almost seeming to panic. putting your hands together in a plea, then repeating the charades of telling him to turn off the game.

finally he acted, clearing his throat before saying, “no, y/n isn’t here but she is calling. i’ll get back on later, bye guys.” and he was met with a chorus of “ooooh the girlfriend is calling” and what donghyuck thought was very childish kissing sounds coming from chenle and jisung, but regardless of how childish it was, it still caused a blush to creep up his neck and make its way into his cheeks.

clicking the headset off and dropping it around his neck, he and his red cheeks focused back on you. standing across the room, you were dressed in a red and black skintight suit, with a giant spider across the chest.

“you’re cosplaying now?” he asked with an eyebrow raised, his voice taking on a sarcastic tone. “you never showed any interest at all in spider-woman when we’ve all discussed her, and where did you get that costume? it looks nicely made, you nearly failed homec in high school so…”

he watched as you took a deep breath before opening your mouth to say the unbelievable., “it’s not a cosplay. it’s not a costume. it is my suit. it was technically a gift but… i am spider-woman.” you raised a finger for each point you made, your face and tone showing extreme seriousness that he would have found almost comical if he hadn’t begun to notice your face had become a little paler than when he had first seen you enter. narrowing his eyes slightly, his brain trying to figure out what was going on, he went on to huff a laugh. “you’re so full of shit.”

“look,” you ran your hand through your hair and sighed, donghyuck noticing you had started to sway a little, but you began to emphasize your points by talking with your hands again as you spoke. “i know this is a lot to take in suddenly, and i’m gonna go ahead and apologize to you for lying to you these past six months, i didn’t know how to properly tell you that ‘hey i was bitten by a radioactive spider and now i can do things i can’t explain’ because i knew you’d act like this, but i don’t have anywhere to go right now and i really… really need your help.”

and that’s when you swayed so hard, you staggered against the standing dresser sliding down its front, shaking it so hard that his textbooks fell off.

donghyuck flew across the room to kneel by your side, noticing your breathing was a little labored. you laughed a little at how quickly his demeanor changed from sarcastic to serious.

“okay, okay. you’re spider-woman and you’re forgiven for lying, what happened?” he said, going into what you called his No Nonsense Mode. he ran to his desk to grab his med kit and rushed back to your side.

“i was shot and the bullet is lodged in my arm, and i can’t remove it myself, i’ve tried and i can’t heal unless it’s out. i need you to pull it out.” it was matter-of-fact the way you spoke about what had happened to you. donghyuck placed his stethoscope on your chest and listened for any irregularities, not missing the way his heart lurched when you mentioned you were shot with nonchalance. once he couldn’t find any irregularities though, he got out scissors and began cutting the fabric away from the wound on your arm, that he wasn’t sure how he didn’t notice it earlier, but, he told himself (in his defense) the majority of the suit was black, it didn’t really stand out.

“you really should have gone to the emergency room to have an actual doctor do this.” he scolded softly, taking gauze and wiping away the excess blood from the site.

you snorted. “what? just, swing into the ER and go, ‘i can’t take off my mask for you but i need you to treat my gunshot wound’? yeah, that’ll go smoothly. besides, you’re a doctor.” you murmured as you watched him rummage in his kit for whatever tool he needed.

“i’m training to be a doctor, i’m not a doctor, yet. there’s a literal board certified difference.” he corrected, cutting his eyes at you. you lifted your other hand in surrender.

“it’s all the same to me.” you replied.

“how have you not needed me before now?” he asked before taking off a cap of a bottle and looking directly into your eyes as he said, “this is going to sting a little.”

“i heal quickly, broken ribs are nothing but – ah, shit!” crying out sharply in pain, eyes bulging at the liquid that burned worse than you thought it would.

“you said sting, you liar!” and he smirked at you, your heart leaping a little at the look. “that’s for lying to me.”

“yeah, sure. a huge identity secret that could get all my friends and family killed that i kept secret to protect you means you can hurt me with alcohol. sure, sure.” you rolled your eyes as he shrugged.

“it’s all the same to me,” he quoted you, but then frowned a little. “i’m going to dig it out now. and this will actually hurt, do you need me to grab something for you to bite down on, or… or squeeze?” he asked, his laser-focused attention shifting from your face to the hole in your arm.

you shook your head and gripped your thigh tightly. he nodded and began to find the object that was keeping you from healing yourself. you could feel the bruises start to come up on your knee as your arm shook from the pressure you applied to try and take your mind off of the pain your best friend was inflicting on you.

you watched his face as a distraction and distantly thought it was cute that he stuck his tongue out between his lips in concentration. after agonizing minutes, he finally let out an excited, “got it!”

he showed you the offending metal excitedly between the long medical tweezers and you let out a heavy sigh of relief, and you could feel your body jump into overdrive to try and heal the area.

“i think i’m going to pass out, and if i do… just leave me here. i’ll wake up in thirty minutes, tops.” you mumbled a little too softly before doing exactly what you said you would do, and slumped over onto donghyuck’s lap. considering you warned him beforehand, he only let himself panic for all of thirty seconds before he grabbed a pillow from his couch and gently moved your head from his lap to the pillow.

he rummaged around in his kit for more gauze and started to clean the area of the blood that had gushed out during the process of him removing the bullet, as he did so his hands froze midair. he could only watch in awe as he saw your skin start to heal itself, the tissues and skin closing up from the inside out. and sure enough, within thirty minutes, it was as if you had never been injured, and five minutes after that, you stirred awake. you blinked a few times up at him, and he continued to stare down at you as if he were mapping out the details of your face.

“you lied.” he said, and you groaned, throwing an arm over your eyes.

“i told you i was sorry!” you immediately went on the defensive.

“it took you thirty-five minutes, you said thirty tops.” he raised one eyebrow, giving you his signature irritating smirk that always gave you butterflies.

you thought for a moment, “hmm, must have lost more blood than i realized.”

you both stared at each other for a few awkward seconds before you let out, “so you’re…. not… mad at me? i wanted to tell you the moment i found out, i swear. but every chance i got i – ” and your voice came out smaller and smaller with each word, more than you had hoped it would. you weren’t sure why, but you knew that if he was angry it would hurt you more than you had realized it would.

“hey, chill. how could i be mad?” he sounded confused, looking away to put something in his kit. “no, i couldn’t be mad at you. i can rationalize why you did it. it makes sense why you didn’t tell me. but no more secrets from here on.” he cut his eyes over at you sternly.

“promise, no more secrets.” you agreed with a nod.

“but… now that i know…” he said, stern look morphing into a more mischievous one and the smile he wore made you shift. “i have so many questions.” the intense staring contest came to an end when you smiled back.

“alright, shoot.” you offered and sat up. when you noticed he gave you an instant unamused look, you amended sarcastically. “oh, too soon? sorry. you may proceed, your majesty.”

and oh, he did.

two hours of nothing but rapid fire questions, answering everything from:

“what are your powers?”

“the powers of a spider, hyuck.”

“yes, i can tell, but what exactly can you do?”

to:

“have you really robbed banks like that tabloid said?”

“do i look like i’m suddenly millions of dollars richer to you?”

after the intense game of twenty thousand questions, he seemed satisfied with all of his answers he received until he came down to the last one.

“what were you doing when you were shot?” he asked, deep concern written all over his face. you had scared him, you realized. he was just now processing everything that had happened, the excitement was falling away so he had to deal with what had happened and you had frightened him more than you thought you would.

“there’s a mob boss, he’s trafficking in a new kind of drug that is killing so. many. people. i think he may have manufactured it to kill but i’m not sure on that part. i was getting close to the warehouse, and he knew it. i ran into an ambush, but not before i destroyed a case of the drugs. they seem to be highly flammable somehow but anyway, there’s still so much more though, hyuck. i just acted first this time before coming up with a plan.” you became more and more enthused as you spoke but when donghyuck didn’t respond, you looked up to find him picking at his fingernails. he did this when he had something to say but wasn’t sure if he wanted to say it, you noticed in elementary school and it was his biggest tell when he had secrets. which meant he never really had secrets from you.

“hyuck, what is it?” you leaned over and touched his fiddling fingers, stilling them. he waited a few more moments before looking up and making eye contact.

“you’ve been doing all of this for six months… alone. and it’s… it’s dangerous. you’re… why are you choosing to be reckless?” his voice came out accusatory but small, almost a little unsure of himself. and it made you pause, because it was so unlike him. your hyuck, the extremely smart med student. almost overly, frustratingly self-confident, was always self-assured, but the last half hit an uncomfortable spot in your chest. a spot that signaled an argument. your eyebrows drew together and you tilted your head to the side.

“it’s dangerous, yeah, but it’s nothing i can’t handle. i’ve been handling it. and i’m not being reckless. i can’t just not use this to help people. it happened to me for a reason.”

“yeah but,” he hesitated again. he didn’t want this to come out the way he was worried it was going to. “you could get hurt, you have been hurt! what if you didn’t make it here in time? this screams recklessness to me.”

“it… it doesn’t matter if i get hurt, and i did make it here in time… look, when you can do the things i can, and you’re given a chance to help but you don’t, and then the bad things happen… they happen because of you.” you argued simply, your voice taking on a tone of pleading to match your eyes.

“it doesn't matt- it matters to me!" hearing you say your life wasn’t as important to you as others nearly gave him a heart attack. he was almost rendered speechless at those words. keyword: almost, "you could be killed! what part of that don’t you get? everything you just said isn’t heroism, y/n. that’s just self-imposed guilt.” he yelled, the sudden rise in his voice startling the both of you.

“no, it isn’t. it’s taking responsibility!” you responded, teeth clenched.

“respons-,” he cut himself off, completely incredulous. he all but rolled his eyes at you, “why do you feel responsible for people you’ve never met?! you could be killed, killed y/n. what part of that don’t you get?”

“yeah, hyuck, i could. believe me, i get it. but so could you, at any given time. people are dying, and if i can help them, then i will.” you didn’t raise your voice, but the bitterness that seeped through your still clenched teeth wasn’t easily controlled.

“people are dying because they’re choosing to take illegal drugs.”

“and you think that just because they chose to get high, off of something they were lied to about, that they should be murdered?” you were incredulous this time at the notion, eyebrows nearly in your hair.

“that’s not what i’m saying!” he threw his hands up, and you stood up abruptly.

“really?” you flung your hands out, exasperated beyond belief. “because it sure as hell sounds like it. it’s not just addicts taking this drug. it’s college kids experimenting. it – it could be our friends next! just trying a normal college experience!” and he scoffed at the defensive stance you took, arms crossing over your chest. he rolled his eyes and that just pissed you off even more. you weren’t sure why he was taking this stance, and it felt like he was against you. this was the argument that your body had warned you of.

“it could be jeno, or jaemin, or… or even mark next. at the next party, they may just try something, or, or get something slipped to them, and then what?” your tone was serious. you meant what you said.

“mark doesn’t do parties-.” he started sarcastically but you cut him off with a scoff.

“that isn’t the fucking point! you’re becoming a doctor to save people, i was given these abilities to do the same. why does it feel like i’m the only one willing to try? why does it feel like you’re… you’re judging me for it?”

“how could you say that? i’ll take an oath to do no harm in a few years, it will be my job to save people’s lives. responsibly. not doing it illegally, like a vigilante. not getting myself injured in the process, not getting myself killed.” he spat out the last sentence with such vehemence that you had no retaliation for it, mouth dropping in a silent gasp.

you just stared at him before shaking your head slightly. you walked across the room and snatched your discarded mask off the floor.

“thank you for helping me.” was all you said and he could only watch as you threw open the door and climbed out of the window in the hall you had originally crawled through. he could only partially see as you slung away. he took a moment to replay the argument through his head and he smacked himself hard in the forehead. he was stupid. he started the argument because he was worried and his smart mouth did what it always did, got him into trouble.

why was saying, ‘i’m worried for you, please be careful next time’ so hard for him?

he crossed the room and closed the door, banging his head softly against the door and mumbling,

“stupid, stupid, stupid.”

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he hadn’t spoken to you in three days, not that he hadn’t tried. numerous texts and voicemails apologizing profusely for what he had said, but he received nothing in return. he had even let slip during gaming with his friends that he had upset you and you were refusing to talk to him.

they all immediately sided with you without even knowing what the argument was about, with jaemin throwing in a ‘you probably opened your stupid mouth and said the opposite of what you wanted to’, and donghyuck couldn’t even argue with that. they knew him well.

but with what was going on, he was, unfortunately, a little distracted doing his clinical hours at the hospital overnight. it was his turn in the ICU, the department he wanted to be in once he graduated. he just couldn’t get the image of your face out of his head when you left, and it made it hard for him to focus.

he had really hurt you, and after having the time to think about it, he understood where you were coming from. you wanted to make a difference, you had always been that way even as a kid, and how could he expect anything less? he was becoming a doctor to do the same thing. what made him any better? he knew if it were him in your shoes, he’d have done the same. he already knew the reason that made him react so negatively.

because it was you.

“lee!” the attending doctor yelled at him, snapping him out of his musings. his head snapped up instantly and he rushed over to his side, he wasn’t technically allowed to help yet but he was to shadow and learn what he could from observation. an ambulance had wheeled in a drug overdose victim, and the nurses were running around.

he finally got a good look at the patient and that’s when he stilled. the guy was in his coding class that he took as an elective, yangyang. he knew he was a good guy, a little on the strange side but he and his friends were the same. donghyuck noticed another guy he knew from around campus was hovering near the curtains edge.

xiaojun was biting his fingernails in worry and donghyuck could tell he had been crying. his attending doctor had called for narcan and so donghyuck made his way over to xiaojun. he looked up from yangyang, eyes lighting up for a second as he recognized donghyuck and he started fumbling over his words instantly.

“we-we were in the club, we hardly drank anything but a maybe a couple of beers and then all of a sudden he just… just f-fell out on the floor. they were saying it was a drug overdose but – but he doesn’t do drugs. he’d never touch them. he – he, wouldn’t. he didn’t do this.” donghyuck was about to offer words, when the doctor yelled at him to get xiaojun out of the way.

yangyang had started seizing, and he knew that xiaojun didn’t need to see it. placing a gentle hand on xiaojun’s shoulder, donghyuck escorted him away and the nurses closed the curtains. seeing this up close proved that he needed to find you. if he didn’t understand you before, he fully understood now.

his shift had ended, yangyang had been barely stable and instead of going home to sleep for his classes in the morning, he went the opposite way to go to your apartment. it was late, but he was hoping you’d be awake.

if not, he’d just wake you up and deal with it when you hit him for it. when he realized the elevator was down he sighed, assuming this was his karmic punishment, he made his way up the five flights of stairs and down the hall to your room.

standing in front of 606 he raised his hand to knock but the door opened before his hand met the wood. he figured it was the senses you had told him about that let you know he was there.

you stood in the doorway, face completely impassive. he coughed once, and scratched the back of his neck.

“i’ve been texting you, and calling…” he trailed off watching for your reaction.

“i know.” your response was cold.

“i’m really sorry,” he started again.

“i know. even jeno has told me. is that all?” and his shoulders drooped a little. when he didn’t respond for a moment, you started to close the door and he put his hand up to stop it, saying all he had to say in one quick breath.

“you were right. i was worried, and i just saw you bleeding and you acted like it was no big deal even though you had been shot and i couldn’t understand it and i’m sorry, really sorry, i reacted that way, but you were right… i… i saw what you were talking about today at the hospital. i saw it, and you were right.” your stony demeanor fell away, because you knew you couldn’t really stay mad at him, and worry seeped in.

you moved out of the way of the entrance to your room and he stepped inside and made his way to sit on your couch. he heard you close the door and shuffle across the room behind him. his elbows rested on his knees as he stared at the coffee table, and you sat on your knees in front of his field of vision.

“are you okay?” you asked, taking his hands in yours.

“it was a guy in my class, you know yangyang?” you nodded in answer and he breathed in shakily. “we… we got him stable for now but he, he wasn’t actively doing drugs. his friend said he never touched any, he was probably slipped something and – you were right. it could have been any of us.”

“it’s scary to watch happen, especially when it’s already too late to help, i know. i’m sorry you had to see it, but this lets me know that they’re getting bolder. a club? right. they’re going to make a mistake soon, i’ll be able to stop it then. you won’t have to see it again, if i can do anything about it.” your voice was honest, and earnest. donghyuck knew you meant it completely, but it made him wonder if you had already seen it be too late after trying to help, and how you were dealing with that trauma or if you were ignoring it.

taking a breath, he finally took a look around the room and you had your computer open and papers strewn around the desk like you were planning something. he got up and walked over to the papers, and he found they were annotated blueprints.

“it’s their main warehouse, i finally found it. i’m coming up with a plan this time. to save me from another hyuck scolding.” he heard you over his left shoulder. he turned quickly and his face came within inches of yours, but neither of you went to move away. his face heated at the close proximity, and you smiled knowingly at the reaction.

“i can hear your heart racing, what’s making you nervous? the plans…” you said looking down at the papers then back up, “or me?” you smirked at the way his eyes widened at the question.

maybe jeno was right after all, maybe you both were aware of how you felt about each other.

he hesitated before answering with an honest, “both, i think.”

“good,” was all you said with a grin.

“i want to help you,” he said looking down at you, searching your eyes for the part that he knew would cave.

“did you suddenly get bit by a radioactive spider too and gain superhuman abilities?” you snarked, taking his usual stance in the conversation.

“no, but i can be your person in the background helping you out. your guy in the chair, you know?” you hesitated at that.

“why not just my doctor in the hospital? i don’t want you to get hurt,” you replied, breaking eye contact to toy with the sleeve of his jacket.

“and you can?”

“i heal quickly,” you retorted. “you don’t.”

“i won’t get hurt, i’ll be sitting behind a computer helping you out with whatever you need. i’m pretty good at hacking things when i want to, if the almost choosing cybersecurity as my minor could remind you.” he wiggled his eyebrows at that and you laughed. you shoved his shoulder, and offered a hum to agree.

“fine, since i know you won’t back down. but don’t you dare think that i’ll take you anywhere near the big guys with the scary guns. i’ve been working on making my suit a little more bulletproof, so what happened last time won’t happen again as easily.” you said gesturing to the table where your sewing machine sat with other materials he couldn’t quite make out. before he could ask another question, he yawned wide, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth.

“do you want to stay here?” you offered to him, and he shook his head.

“i have a class at nine, i should head home.” and at his response you smiled a smile that seemed almost evil and he leaned away, eyebrows knitting together.

“why did you make that face? i don’t like it. stop it.” he joked, laughing a little at how uncomfortable he felt with the mischievousness of the smile.

“oh come on, you love my face.” you responded, expression not changing at all.

“yes but…”

“let me take you home.” you said, gripping the arm of his jacket and he finally connected the dots and he actually stepped back half a step at that as if it had offended him.

“oh, hell no!” he rejected the idea instantly, just the idea of heights making his stomach churn. you started to peel off your t-shirt you were wearing and he covered his eyes to avoid seeing something he shouldn’t, but you just scoffed at him. you tugged his hands away from his eyes and he saw you in your suit.

“i don’t know if i’m going to get used to that,” he whispered. he watched as you walked to the window and opened it, waving him over.

“you will, eventually.” you called. he stepped to the window, you were already on the other side standing on the fire escape. he hesitated, his fear keeping him from wanting to step onto the rickety metal. you reached your hand out to him.

“don’t you trust me?” you asked innocently, looking up at him through your lashes and his heart jumped a little at the question and the sight of you.

“yes,” he breathed before taking your hand and climbing out onto the landing that was a little too small for the both of you. he was chest to chest with you, and he couldn’t get his heart to calm down with how close you were to him. the air was cold and your breaths came out in little clouds and mixed together before dissipating.

he didn’t miss the way your eyes flicked to his lips before you shook your head slightly, he desperatly wish he could know what you were thinking but you only leaned over to grab your mask from the desk that was next to the window. you closed it firmly and turned away, and donghyuck let his body relax a little at the bit of space you created between the two of you.

“i need you to hold on to my neck, if you get scared then wrap your legs around me.” and he paled at the idea.

“i think i’m a little too –.” you cut your eyes at him, and he corrected himself. “right, sorry. super strength. got it.” you pulled the mask over your face while tugging up the black hood over your head, leapt up on the railing in a crouch before standing, perfectly balanced and turned to him.

“come on, then.” he awkwardly stepped closer and reached out, you tugged him up on the railing with ease and he wobbled. he wrapped his arms around your neck to stabilize himself and he laughed a little wildly.

“this feels a little backwards, usually it’s the man that holds the damsel close.” he joked, avoiding looking down at the ground that was a far drop.

“yes, well, i’ll make sure to tell the next spider to bite a man to save you the indecency.” he didn’t have to see it to know you were rolling your eyes. and before he could say that wasn’t exactly what he meant, you reached out your hand, wrapping your arm around his waist and suddenly you both were falling and his stomach had dropped to the ground without him.

he couldn’t even scream out in fear, his breath caught instantly in his throat. but his eyes were taking in everything around him, the city lights at night from this height were breathtaking. the adrenaline mixing with the awe made him speechless, and he slowly felt safe with you, his body getting into the gentle rhythm of the rise and fall as you swung in between the buildings.

“this is beautiful,” he said, barely above a whisper, and you turned your masked face slightly towards him.

“it is, isn’t it?” you replied, and he could hear the smile. a few minutes of peaceful silence later and you used a lamp post to swing and land. arriving in front of his apartment building safely and in one piece. donghyuck breathed a sigh of relief to be on the ground but ultimately couldn’t stop the beautiful smile that was stretching across his face.

“that was exhilarating!” he whisper-yelled. you stepped forward and brushed his hair down to control it from where the wind and swept it all over the place.

“it’s a rush for sure,” you replied and he laughed.

“so you’re a bit of an adrenaline junkie now, huh? i would be.” he said, staring at your mask, wishing he could see your face.

“you could say that,” you let out a laugh at the look on his face. when neither of you moved, you coughed and it sounded nervous to him. he gently reached up to try and tug your mask up with both hands, but you placed your hands gently on his and halted him. he wasn’t sure what he was trying to do, all he knew was that he wanted to see your face.

“you should go in and get some rest, i’ll text you in the morning, okay?” your voice was so soft, and his heart ached. eventually he nodded. “goodnight,” he said and you hummed. you leaned up and pecked him on the cheek through the mask, smiling under it as his heart kicked off within seconds.

“goodnight, hyuck.” and then he watched as you shot a web up to the same lamp post and crouched precariously on it. you sent him a small wave and you shot off into the night, he watched you go until you were out of sight and he stepped towards the apartment building entrance.

he got out his phone and sent you a quick text before making his way to the steps of his building. he fumbled with his keys to the main door when he heard shuffling behind him. he turned towards the sound of the noise, but didn’t get a chance to see before he was sucker punched in the face and the last thing he heard was deep, mocking laughter.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

you were sound asleep, and then you weren’t. a loud banging at your door had you jumping from your bed as if you had been struck by lightening. you checked your phone to see the time, and as you noticed it was half past noon.

you also noticed you had fifteen missed calls and twenty-three text messages, all from your friend group. majority coming from jaemin and jeno, and two texts from hyuck. the knocking persisted and you groaned to your feet. feeling that the knocker wasn’t dangerous, you flung open the door to find a disheveled jeno. he was slightly out of breath and you could only assume he ran the entire way here.

“what’s going on, jen?” you asked, voice still groggy from being woken up so abruptly. you rubbed at your eyes, still trying to wake up.

“donghyuck’s gone,” was all he said and you felt icy fear trickle down your back, your face draining of color.

“what do you mean? he’s probably at class, or the hospital.” trying to be rational, and jeno was already shaking his head.

“no, jaem said he didn’t show up to class and i went to check his apartment and i don’t think he ever made it up to his place because i found his keys near the stairs. and – and there was blood.” at that you were sure your heart stopped. you numbly walked from the door to sit on your couch, staring at the wall. jeno followed you in after closing the door behind him and stood in front on you.

“y/n.” you didn’t respond.

“y/n.” he said and he kneeled in front of you, the same way you had done the night before with hyuck. you didn’t move a muscle, didn’t even blink.

“y/n!” he said, voice a little louder and more serious, and his hands shook you gently. the tone and movement breaking you from the trance you had been put in at the news. you finally focused on his face, and he sighed.

“there you are. i can’t have you spacing out now on me.” you could only nod as an answer.

“i need you to find him, i know you can.”

“what? i don’t –.” and he cut you off with a stern look.

“get yourself together, go put your suit on, and find whoever took him.” and your eyes widened at his statement, your mouth dropping. before you could even deny it, he sighed dramatically.

“i already know. and so does jaemin. we both figured it out after the first month when you didn’t need your glasses anymore, and that one time in the courtyard when you caught that frisbee heading toward your head that you didn’t even see.”

you were speechless so you only answered with a, “ahhh…”

“and your suit is right there on the table.” he smiled at his little joke. “but don’t worry. your secret is safe with us.”

you looked over your shoulder, of course you’d left it out after finishing up adding the enhancements you were working on late last night after dropping hyuck off. you were regaining your thoughts again, and you got up and walked over to the papers that were strewn across your desk, leaning against your desk as you stared at them. jeno stayed put near the couch.

“do you know who took him?” he called over and you nodded, knowing there was only one group powerful enough to do this that you had severely pissed off.

“yeah, i think so. i told hyuck i was coming up with a plan, but i don’t have time to really get the plan together now. they’re not the type of people to really keep… hostages.” you let out a heavy sigh and dropped your head. you felt a comforting hand on your shoulder, and you brought your hands up to rub your face. suddenly a thought registered and you froze. you ran to your phone, and picked it up. opening your messaging app, you skipped the frantic texts from your friends and landed on the messages from hyuck.

clicking on the notifications, you slapped a hand over your mouth. the first one read,

3:37am thank you for dropping me off, talk to you in the morning :)

and the next message was a picture of hyuck, head drooped to rest on his chest, and you could see blood trailing down the side of his face. he was tied to something you couldn’t quite make out. attached to the picture were the words,

come alone.

you knew he was in danger. you were painfully aware. but to see it so clearly made your breath quicken and you felt a sob escape your throat. jeno picked up the discarded phone and swore sharply.

hyuck was in danger.

hyuck was in – your senses were in overdrive and you tried to get a grip on it. if you couldn’t get this under control, how would you be able to save anyone? one important person to you in trouble and you became useless? no that wasn’t going to work. it was just that you yelled at him about what if your friends were next, you told yourself, you just hadn’t registered the same would apply to you just yet. to him.

the thought of hyuck being in danger had your resolve steeling itself. you felt anger begin to course through you in place of the fear and you stalked over to the table and you yanked your clothes off, not caring that jeno was in the room. you shoved the suit on angrily, and turned to jeno. your mouth was set in a straight line. he could only stare wide-eyed and mouth dropped at you in your suit, first time really seeing that it was you in it.

“you’ll get used to it,” you said, fierce determination set on your face as you put your hands on your hips. “don't tell hyuck he'll be so jealous but... i think i’m going to need yours and jaemin’s help.” jeno only nodded as you threw on your clothes over your suit, grabbed the papers and you both stormed out of the room.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

walking into jeno’s apartment he shared with jaemin, you followed quickly and located jaemin studying at the kitchen table, medical books scattered across the table.

“jaemin?” he called to him.

“hmm?” was his answer.

“jaem!” he said, more urgent this time. jaemin looked up and when he noticed you were with him, he shot up and rounded the table.

“did you find him? do you know where he is?” jaemin said, nothing but worry on his face.

“i know where he is i think, but i will need your help. i just found the blueprints last night to the place and i haven’t had time to memorize the layout, that’s where i need you two to help me. jen says you already know everything already, so…” and she unzipped her jacket to show her suit underneath to jaemin.

“that’s still so cool to see,” jeno whispered, eyeing the colors and the giant spider. jaemin narrowed his eyes at jeno.

“focus,” he hissed. jeno raised his hands in surrender.

“what? you can’t say it’s not.” jaemin rolled his eyes at him and turned his attention back to you.

“whatever you need us to do, anything… just tell us.” you moved some of his books to the side, putting a piece of paper to hold the spot in the ones that were open, and laid out the blueprints to the building. jaemin and jeno hovered behind you, each of them taking a shoulder to look over and you explained the half-assed plan you put together on the walk over.

“there are only two entrances to the building, but since it’s two stories, and i don’t necessarily need doors, i’ll enter here on this window, it’s the dark side of the alley, hardly anyone will be there, i hope at least, and make my way through the building. i find hyuck, get him out, and if the building blows up with the drugs inside… then it’s a win-win for us.”

“you’re going to blow up a building?!” they exclaimed at the same time, both turning to look at you.

“this is a kingpins warehouse,” you said to jeno before turning to jaemin, looking between the both of them as you spoke. “he’s manufacturing drugs that are killing people. blow up the supply, and stop the deaths. maybe i can trap him in there until the cops come and it saves more lives than hurts.” jeno nodded as he understood but jaemin was pensive.

“it feels a little too dangerous, something could go wrong.” he said.

“of course something could go wrong, but hyuck is in danger!” you argued instantly, before deflating. “this… this is the only plan i’ve got.”

“maybe we can… take some more time. think about this. come up with a better plan.”

“we don’t have time!” you fumed, shoving your hand in your jacket pocket to grab your phone. you pulled up the picture you had been sent and all but shoved it in jaemin’s face. “he’s hurt! he could be killed if i don’t… i have to save him. i have to save him, before he… before he dies. because of me.” the fear was coming back, doubled up with extreme guilt and you tried to clamp down on it before it bubbled over. you felt two steady hands rest on your shoulders.

“we get it. we’re with you, not against you. we’ll help you.” it was jeno, and you nodded, looking up at the ceiling for a moment to get a rein on the tears that threatened to spill. you rummaged in your pockets again and pulled out another phone.

“my suit,” your voice cracked a little and you cleared your throat. “my suit is connected to this phone, you both can stay here and help walk me through the building. or call 911 if anything goes wrong. i worked on this last night for hyuck, when he offered to do what you’re doing for me now. and look,” you turned on the phone.

“when i do this,” you pressed on the side of your mask above your ear and the screen reflected black. “you can see what i can see.” you pulled out your mask and turned it to look at all three of you. your faces showing up on the small screen of the phone, various stages of stress.

“you made this yourself?” jeno asked, grabbing the phone and inspecting it.

“pretty much, yeah.”

“you’re really smart.” and jeno saw the unamused look you gave him through the screen.

“well i didn’t get into this school on my dashing good looks, did i?” and you let out a laugh. jaemin let out a sigh of relief and you looked over your shoulder at him.

“you’re back, i was worried you wouldn’t be able to crack jokes like you usually do, didn’t want you to go in tense to save him.” and you smiled at them both. it wasn’t a full smile, it didn’t reach your eyes, but the effort was there.

“i’m back. and i’m not going to let him die.” you pulled your mask over your head and snuggly put it in to place and tugging up the hood to follow.

“let’s do this.”

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

you waited until night fell, crouched down on the building across the street from the warehouse. the temperature kept dropping and even though you couldn’t feel it through the suit, you were worried about hyuck.

“he’s going to be okay,” you heard jaemin say through the mask.

“how did you know?” you asked, surveying as a few of the lackeys got into the car from the alley you were about to enter through and speed away.

“it’s what i’d do if i were you.” was his answer. you shot a web across the street and slung your way over to rest on the side of the building above the window. you tugged it open easily. with a deep breath, you told them you were going in and slunk through the window, gently closing it shut behind you.

you made your way through the building, turning down hallways the two told you to, opening and closing various doors along the way. all of them turning up empty. you eased your way up to the ceiling and made it down to the first floor where you heard idle chatter.

“i don’t think she’s coming. she’s going to leave you here to die, my friend.” and that was him. the head of all of this and he had hyuck’s head lifted up by his hair, forcing him to look him in the eye. hyuck surprised you by smiling, blood leaking from the corner of his mouth and it had stained his teeth.

“i hope she doesn’t come, just so she doesn’t give you what you want. just to piss you off.”

“but i want to see the desperation and anguish when i kill you, i live for it,” you couldn’t see his face but the way he said the words made your lips turn up in disgust.

you heard jeno come through on the mask, “i can’t wait to watch you kick his ass.”

“yes, well,” the kingpin continued. you still couldn’t see his face as he moved around hyuck, but he wore an expensive suit decorated with gold details. “i have what she wants. do you really think she’d let you die so easily?” and hyuck spit his blood out on his expensive shoes. the kingpin threw hyuck’s head back and it cracked loudly against the concrete wall he was tied to.

“you’re awfully pretty, you know. i could use you. maybe sell you out a few times. break that spirit of yours, make some money off of you before i killed you, or… maybe keep you for myself.” the kingpin mused out loud in a way that could have sounded like he was reading off stocks instead of hyucks fate, all while toying with a strand of hyucks curls gently. finding no better time than now, you released your grip on the ceiling.

“i’d be willing to buy him off you,” you said sarcastically, dropping down to the ground in a crouch. your sudden appearance made all of his guards pull their guns and aim them at you. “for a heavily discounted price, of course. that one has sass for days.”

you didn’t miss the annoyed glare hyuck shot at you from where he was sitting.

“y/n, be careful.” you heard jaemin warn in your ear.

the kingpin turned fully to face you for the first time and he smiled at your sudden entrance, and the sight of him made you pause.

he was breathtakingly handsome, and surprisingly young. the smile creating dimples in his cheeks and his hair was perfectly styled. he screamed ceo, a business man in disguise.

“kill her,” was his order before everything went by in a flurry. knocking the gun out of the first guards hand that rushed you, you punched him hard in the face, knocking him unconscious instantly.

“what a right hook!” you heard jeno whoop. two more rushed you from the side, and you leapt up in the air, round house kicking one into the other. the force of the kick sending them across the room. you looked up to find a gun pointing directly in your face, senses telling you to duck in time as he fired.

crouching low, you swept his legs and knocked him out once he was on the ground. jerking your head up quickly you took notice of the only two left, and you shot webs to the walls directly behind them. they sneered at you condescendingly, “you missed us.”

you only cocked your head and you jumped up high and pulled hard, using the momentum to pull you forward. you kicked them both hard in the face at the same time, neutralizing them at once. you internally winced at the sounds of their noses cracking.

“you’re so badass, where did you learn to fight like that?” jeno said in awe. you didn’t answer him. you turned quickly to face the kingpin again, and you froze when you saw the sight. he had hyuck by the hair again, untied and standing, neck fully exposed. his dimples smile directed at you as he held a needle in his left hand centimeters away from hyuck’s throat, and he kept his chin on hyuck’s right shoulder.

“if he injects him with that -.” jaemin started and you cut him off.

“i know,” you murmured between clenched teeth, voice coming out more curt than you intended.

“take off your mask,” the kingpin requested of you happily. you stood up from your low stance.

“why?” you asked, not moving an inch. your brain was in hyperdrive trying to search the room for another option. you would accept any option at all to help at this point – and there. in the corner. you found it.

“because i want to watch your face as i kill the man you love.” you pretended to pause to think, bringing your finger to your chin in dramatic fashion.

“i will… but only if you tell me your name,” you responded.

“i don’t think you’re in a position to bargain here.” he still smiled, the grin starting to pull at his lips in a way that looked painful. you wished he would stop. the insanity of it all crossed your threshold of comfort ages ago.

“you’re right, but i would at least like to know the name of the man who’s about to kill me. consider it chivalry.” you figured when you survived this, you’d have some sort of leverage. the smile he gave you as he pondered grew more insane, and it made you uneasy.

“my name is jaehyun. what’s yours?” he chirped, a little too happily.

“ah, ah, ah,” you tutted while wagging a finger at him, letting forced amusement filter in your voice for his sake, “you only get one. my face, or my name.” shifting to one foot, you rested your hand on your hip.

feigning nonchalance was not your strong suit, but it helped when your face was covered. jaehyun didn’t hesitate with his answer.

“face.” and it was your turn to pause. you didn’t want to do this.

“please don’t,” hyuck whispered to you, eyes pleading with you, and jaehyun tugged his hair harder, earning a hiss from hyuck.

“come now. a deal’s a deal.” he scolded you both gently. your head slumped slightly as you reached up to your hood and tugging it back. then your hands made their way to your face slowly and you could hear both jeno and jaemin’s protests in your ears.

“y/n, don’t!” they shouted through the headset. you tugged off the mask, head down and with your hands open in a surrendering motion, you laid the mask down against the knocked out guard.

so they could still see.

so they could still call for help in case something went horribly wrong.

you finally looked up to make eye contact with hyuck first, you were surprised when you didn’t see fear there anymore. he looked a little proud, and somehow, also angry.

you finally dragged your eyes away from hyuck’s and looking jaehyun directly in his. he dragged his eyes up and down your body, your senses going haywire with the way he was looking at you, chills traveling down your spine making the hairs on your neck stand on end. everything about this man made your body scream danger.

“you’re surprisingly beautiful… you know what? i’ll make a deal. tell you what, you let me use you instead, keep you as mine only, and i’ll set him free.”

“just like that?” you asked, noticing how his hand drifted slightly away from hyuck’s neck.

“just like that,” jaehyun laughed, his eyes roaming over your body in a way that seemed hungry for a moment, the stare going on far longer than socially acceptable. you resisted the urge to scowl.

“no,” was all hyuck said. the finality in his voice made you jerk your head.

“where do you think you have the footing to defy me?” jaehyun murmured into hyuck’s neck and he inhaled deeply.

god, he was so fucking weird, you couldn’t help but think as the corners of your lips tugged down.

jaehyun still looking intently at you, he grinned widely at the grimace you made at the semi intimate action. you could only watch as jaehyun’s face grew darker and his eyes lit up brightly as an idea struck him.

the insane man stared at you as he forced hyuck’s head to face him, you were out of his line of sight and hyuck struggled against his hold to be able to see you again but immediately froze when jaehyun kissed him hard. it wasn’t a passionate kiss, it wasn’t meant to be romantic. but one with a hidden purpose. it was meant to hurt everyone in the room.

you took a step forward and raised your arm slightly.

“stop it.” your voice was soft.

hyuck didn’t move, keeping his lips shut tightly but it still didn’t help the rage that was bubbling up. jaehyun didn’t seem bothered by hyuck’s struggles, and he finally released hyuck’s mouth at your request and licked his lips. he was satisfied with the emotions he knew he had created in you and rested his head on hyuck’s neck again. you ground your teeth together, trying to compose yourself.

hyuck caught your eyes, and you could only hope the look in yours screamed that you were sorry for getting him caught up in this. you couldn’t help but begin to blame yourself all over again.

hyuck shaking his head caught your eye, he was good at reading you. his eyes burned with a sort of defiance and you felt a bit of tension leave your shoulders at that. he didn’t blame you, neither should you. it wouldn’t be that easy, but it was a start. after long seconds, jaehyun broke the silence, not being able to handle his lack of understanding in the silent conversation.

“you know, i could keep you both. i could have so much fun with the both of you.” he purred and he waited patiently for your response.

“absolutely not,” you and hyuck said together instantly. jaehyun visibly pouted.

“fine,” he huffed, looking up at you from the crook of hyuck’s neck. “i guess i’ll just have to kill you both then.” jaehyun’s hand that was still gripping the needle moved forward, and as if everything moved in slow motion for you, you shot a web to stick his hand to the wall with the needle, and shot another web that stuck to hyuck and yanked hard, pulling him close to you, grabbing a fistful of his hoodie and pulled him close to make sure he wouldn’t fall from the force.

“hey,” he breathed, relief washing over him as he stood so close to you. he couldn’t relax fully but to be near you calmed him somehow. “if you wanted me close, you could have just asked. the man you love is more than willing.” he flirted shamelessly, smirking shakily down at you. he was trying any way he could to break the tension somehow and you rolled your eyes with a smile.

“glad to know you’re still you.” your senses alerted you, and your body reacted on its own. you shoved hyuck to the ground before you even knew what the danger was. realizing a second later what as the sound of the gunshot rang. it hit you fully in the chest, knocked you on your back and you slid across the ground several feet.

the scream of your name you heard hyuck yell broke your heart, you never wanted to hear that again you decided right then and there. as you regained your breath that had been knocked out of you, you groaned aloud, noting somewhere in the back of your mind that if jaehyun was paying attention, he now had your name and face. you would worry about that later.

you struggled to lift yourself on one elbow, a little sore but you didn’t feel the pain that you did the time before. the modifications worked, examples by the fact that you brushed off the bullet as if it were dust. you couldn’t miss how it infuriated jaehyun as he was still stuck to the wall, his face turning red in anger. you slowly rose to your feet.

“damn, dude. can’t even kill a girl right, can you?” you taunted, and you noticed he angled his gun towards hyuck who was scrambling to get up to come to your side and in the same second you grabbed the gun you had landed next to. you found the mark you had noticed earlier and shot the beaker filled with a liquid that you were sure it was flammable if the labels on the surrounding areas were anything to go by. the small bunsen burner underneath it ignited the liquid and started a chain reaction. you stepped in front of hyuck, pushing him back down to the ground to protect him as the explosion rocked the building around you.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

you had smiled down at him, and all hyuck could think to say was, “i’m so sorry, this is all my fault.”

“what?!” you exclaimed, and grunted as the weight pressed down further.

“if i hadn’t -.”

“not now hyuck, you know damn well that none of this is your fault. if you don’t think it’s my fault, then you can’t possibly think it’s yours but we can talk about that later, now please, can you stand?” it took hyuck longer than he’d like to admit to process the question, but eventually he nodded. he groaned as he stumbled to his feet, grabbing his side as it revolted against the movement. definitely bruised, maybe cracked.

“good, good.” you said, “now if only you could move about six feet away, that would be…” the slab shifted and your knees buckled slightly. “that would be great.”

“i’m not leaving you!” he argued. and your patience ran thin, the weight and panic of trying to save him getting to you.

“now is not the time, donghyuck! please!” you yelled at him, crying out in frustration at the situation. it caused him to pause, you never used his real name, always the shortened version you had decided on calling him since you were kids. he wavered for a moment, internally arguing with himself before stumbling away the distance you had asked. he turned back to see your knee buckle under the weight and he wanted to reach out to you.

“no, stay there. give me…” the slab shifted again and he watched you sink lower against the weight. “give me a few seconds to think.”

“y/n, you don’t have seconds!” he was frantic now with worry, watching you struggle.

you looked up to glare at him, “you’re not helping!” then your vision drifted to over his shoulder and a familiar idea popped in your head. you shifted as minutely as possible, freeing a hand. you shot a web across the room to the opposing wall and you wrapped your hand around it tightly.

“when i move, this will fall. cover your eyes or turn away. preferably both in case this crushes me,” you ordered, half joking as always, before taking two steadying breaths, once you had watched him turn halfway, and he wasn’t moving further than that, you yanked, pulling hard with all the strength you had left. the slab shifted instantly and the weight worsened but not before you were flung far from the collapsing chunk of building.

the crash of the cement slab echoed loudly in what was left of the room and hyuck ran to your side as you lay on the ground. he turned you over and at your smile, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. you sat up to look at him fully, eyes taking in his injuries. tears sprung in his eyes, and he held your cheeks in his hands.

“you’re okay.”

“you’re okay.” you parroted back at him.

you leaned forward slightly but before you could move more than an inch, his lips crashed into yours. there was a sense of need, urgency and passion in this kiss.

as if the kiss was solidifying that you were safe, you were here. one of his hands traveling down to your waist, pulling you tightly against him, the other holding onto your face like he was afraid to let go.

your hands made their way to his hair and he notated in the back of his mind that it hurt but it didn’t stop him from moving his lips against yours. after what felt like hours, you both finally separated, and he rested his forehead against yours as you both caught your breaths. he couldn’t take his eyes off of your face.

“if i had known getting kidnapped and almost murdered would have made you bolder, i would have told you much sooner.” you joked against his lips, pulling back a bit to smile up at him and he gave you his signature smirk as usual. you paused and tilted your head slightly away and strained your ears, sirens.

“police are coming, guess jeno and jaemin assumed something went wrong,” you said, slowly rising to your feet and reaching out a hand to help him up. you scanned the room quickly trying to catch sight of jaehyun but came up empty. you halfway hoped he had died but something told you that wasn’t the case. and you stopped yourself, realizing that you’d feel guilty for that train of thought later.

“well they assumed right – wait, what?!” he exclaimed and he struggled to his feet but overall was far more steady than he had been minutes before. you attempted to walk a few steps away from him but he refused to let go of your hand, so you tugged him along to pick up your mask that had dust covering it.

“i’ll tell you when we’re away from here,” you smiled at him before raising your mask slightly, hopefully showing to jeno and jaemin if they were still watching that you both were alive.

“you ready for another trip through the city, my style?” and he seemed almost childlike in his response, his giddiness showing through his grin he gave you.

“hell yeah, babe.”

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mystic-hyuck · 1 year

Text

9:02pm - lee donghyuck

warning: mentions of a bad day, crying

His ears pricked up the moment he heard the door open. He immediately paused the TV and looked over at you. “Y/N! How was your day?” He asked excitedly. Haechan’s enthusiasm at any hour was your source of sunlight, your fuel for the day. But now it was just breaking your heart knowing that you wouldn’t be able to reciprocate it that night.

“It was fi-fine,” you cursed under your breath as your voice broke, alerting Haechan even more as his expression narrowed, concerned. He stood from his place on the couch as he made his way over to you. As he took your hands into his he furrowed his brow further with worry as he noticed the attempt of a smile that barely reached your eyes and the telltale red painted across your cheeks. It was the undeniable sign you’d been crying.

He reached up to cup your cheek. “Are you okay darling? Why are you trying to hide it from me?” The second question was sterner, a gentle encouragement for you to tell the truth.

You could only reply with a sniffle, trying to hold back the dam of fresh tears threatening to appear. His heart broke at the sight of it, and he immediately pulled you into his arms, wrapping them tightly around your shoulders. He pressed kisses into your hair, gently running his hand up and down your back comfortingly. “It’s okay Y/N, I’m here, I’ve got you. You’re allowed to cry with me.”

You couldn’t hold them back any longer at your boyfriends comforting words, and soon enough your shoulders were shaking with sobs. Haechan continues to rub your back softly, offering whispered praises and reassurances every now and then. Only when your tears began to die down did he pull away from the embrace, wiping the remaining tears from your cheeks softly with his thumb. “Come on, I think it’s time for you to get some sleep.”

He gently pulled you into your shared room, and patiently encouraged you to change into your pyjamas. Once you were changed, Haechan coaxed you into bed, wrapping one arm around your waist and using his hand to pull your head to his chest. The sound of his heartbeat calmed you down as you focused on the feeling of being in his arms, his warmth comforting you.

“I’m so proud of you, my love. Please don’t hide your emotions from me. Get some sleep and we can talk in the morning.”

It was in that moment you realised Haechan’s arms were your safe place.

A/N: I’m so sorry this is all over the place and weird for my first timestamp it was written on my phone in the middle of the night. Please let me know if you enjoy these timestamps and thank you for reading lovelies <3

#haechan x reader #nct timestamps #timestamp #nct hurt/comfort #haechan x reader hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort #tw: bad day #comfort #fluffy haechan #lee donghyuck x reader #lee donghyuck x reader fluff #haechan x reader fluff #nct fluff

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catboyieejeno · 8 months

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nct dream reaction ˚୨୧⋆˚

sleepy sex with the dreamies

cw: no pronouns mentioned but reader has female anatomy, mature, explicit smut, although not explicitly stated—any somnophilia is strictly consensual, established relationship in all of these, little to no plot, oral sex, unprotected sex (this is fiction. pls protect urself), overstimulation, pet names, cum play/cum eating, spit, crying, just pure filth fr... all are pretty long... i got too into it...

masterlist

18+ minors do not interact !

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ mark

it doesn't happen often, but on nights where mark wakes up at an ungodly hour, squirming and coated with a layer of sweat, his first instinct is to look over in search of you. his cock is throbbing, painfully hard in his shorts. he had just had the most obscene dream about you, and now his tip was so sensitive that even the fabric brushing against it made him hiss and shudder.

instinctively, his eyes open and he blinks away any sleep that remains, knowing he can't rest under these conditions. he turns and lets his gaze land on your figure that lays beside him. even in the darkness, he can make out your form, shirt lifting to sit at the small of your waist. hesitantly, mark lifts the covers to reveal your bottom half, and he has to bite down on his lip to keep from gasping out at the view of your ass cheeks peeking out from underneath your shorts.

there’s a sense of shame that awakens within him when he circles an arm around you and presses his front into your thigh with a low groan. mark's hips have a mind of their own, wiggling incessantly until his breathing has grown erratic against your side.

"...mark?" you shift around a little, turning to face him.

"hey, baby," he mumbles. he leans to hover an inch or two above you, dipping down to let his lips press into your cheek. lazily, he drags them over the corner of your lips and your jaw, leaving a wet trail along your skin.

his hums are low, and not for one second has he stopped rubbing himself against your side. in a matter of seconds, the pre cum that leaks from his head has dribbled onto his gray joggers, and a soft sigh leaves his mouth. your brows dip until you blink in realization and look down, mouth parting.

"mark,"

"i need you so bad," he explains.

immediately, your thighs rub together and your mind fogs as his eyes stare into yours, low with sleep and dark with want. you can just make out his delicate features, soft and flushed as he blinks at you tiredly. his bottom lip is wet with spit or maybe drool, and you lean in to kiss it.

"please, i need you, too," you whimper, and he squeezes your waist tighter in response, pulling you closer until the two of you are chest to chest and your boobs are pressed flat against him.

he wastes no time pressing his mouth to yours and letting his tongue push past your lips, feeding you a lewd groan when your leg hikes up around his waist. your clothed cunt is now rubbing directly up against him, clenching around nothing.

"tell me what you want," his words are whispered against your lips, and he slides his hand over your ass, fingers brushing your shorts aside to slide between your folds and collect your slick, "woah, baby. you're so wet already,"

"can't help it," you mutter weakly, grinding down into his digits.

"you like my fingers? wanna ride them, baby?" he teases your entrance, but you shake your head, too distracted by the outline of his entire length pressed against your pelvis.

"no.."

you clutch as his shirt to pull him closer and he lets out a breathy laugh.

"use your words, babe," the sigh that leaves your lips when he flattens his fingers against your pussy makes his jaw go slack, eyes narrowing on your face. his dick twitches at the way your pupils are blown out and unfocused, your wetness squelching on his palm whenever he rubs you.

"please," you whimper, "i just want you inside of me, want you making me feel good.."

"since you asked so nicely," he's pulled down his boxers in seconds, hand pumping himself a few times before he rubs himself between your lips so he can use your arousal to slip in smoothly.

his tip, however, barely pushes into you before he's forced to bury his face in your neck, whining out, "baby, you're too tight, it'll hurt for you,"

"no, it's fine," you blurt, reaching for his hips, "please,"

you clench around him and he grunts, "let me stretch you out on my fingers firs-"

"please, please, please..."

he takes one more experimental thrust, teeth nibbling on your ear lobe, "you sure? i don't wanna hurt you,"

you nod quickly, slurred praises tumbling from your lips, "'feels so good, baby.."

"okay, okay," his hips push past any resistance and he squeezes his eyes shut as he bottoms out. the fluttering of your walls has him seeing stars, and he's desperately trying not to bust already.

when you beg him for more, he lifts his head from the crook of your neck and obliges, letting his pace speed up gradually although he's still careful to watch for any signs of your discomfort. he fails to find any, only your usual soft features molded into pleasure, giving away how you're barely holding it together.

your brow is pinched, eyes glossed over, pants and moans falling from your lips.

"you like that?"

a chant of yeses are whimpered against his cheek, which you lean in to kiss as the pressure in your stomach snaps and your orgasm washes over you.

"damn, baby, you're coming already?" he tries to tease you but he eats his words instantly, a dragged out moan rumbling from his chest at the feeling of your walls pulsing and contracting.

"baby, ease up—you're gonna, oh, fuck," he slows down, "you're gonna make me come if you keep squeezing me like that,"

"i can't, i can't control it.. keep going, please,"

he can't deny you, despite knowing he can't hold on any longer. his hips snap into yours and you cry out, coming a second time and in turn, pushing mark right over the edge.

he empties himself into you as your thighs start trembling, cum shooting from him and filling you up.

by the time he comes down, his tip is so sensitive that he can't even try to muffle the noises that are coming out of him. he's shamelessly whining out, gaze focusing only on your pretty flustered face. he's intent on keeping his movements from stuttering, so that you can savor every last bit of your orgasm, and he only slows down once your breathing fully calms.

both of you have worked up a sweat, foreheads pressed against each other and breaths mixed.

"that was..."

"i know."

"we should wash up," he suggests weakly, though his lids are already falling closed. you shake your head in protest.

"too tired, baby.. in the morning,"

mark is too exhausted to argue, too comfortable in your embrace to get up. his dick is still buried deep within your warm walls. he settles for staying still, wrapping his arms around you so he can hold you as close as possible, humming while you drift to sleep.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ renjun

renjun's wake up call this morning is unlike any other. his eyes open in slivers to guard himself from the harsh light that seeps in through the blinds. only for a moment does he think about going back to sleep but his idea fades as he realizes there's a weight pushing down on his lap, a blurry silhouette hovering over him.

"renjun? sorry for waking you..." you mumble, except you don't sound sorry at all.

your boyfriend lets out a dragged out, confused sound beneath you and you giggle, rolling your hips forward again to grind yourself along his length. there's a bit of drool gathered at the corner of his mouth, and his eyes are still swollen and puffy from sleep, but he's grown fully aware of your ruse by now.

he looks down at the spot where your bodies meet, watching through his slightly blurred vision the way your pussy lips part when his wet head pokes out. his dick is hard, pressed flat against his stomach.

"what's got you so needy this early in the morning?" he says quietly, bringing his hands up to grip your waist and thighs.

meanwhile, your hand slips between your legs to rub at your folds, "had a dream about you," your own moan interrupts you, "then, i looked over and noticed the tent in your shorts... i couldn't help myself,"

"i'm glad you didn't," he mutters. he rubs his eyes quickly and looks over to you again, letting his thumb roll over your nipple, "you look so pretty in the mornings,"

you blush at his compliment, "so do you," and lift your hips in order to guide him toward your entrance. with your lip between your teeth, you slide down him slowly. both of you breathe out in relief at the same time, and your lips pout slightly at the pleasure shooting through your core.

"nng-aah, w-wait." his hands fly to still you and you tense up.

"what's wrong-"

"nothing, i just-" renjun's eyes roll back slightly, "don't wanna come too quickly."

you smirk, "oh?" and lift yourself up again before sitting back down. instantly, your boyfriend brings his palm to his mouth, sinking his teeth down as the blood rushes to his cheeks and tip.

"i need you, jun. i can't wait any longer," you tease, and your pace picks up a bit. renjun tries to warn you again, but his words are slurred, unintelligible behind the hand that clasps over his lips.

his pretty eyes are hazy, and he's watching helplessly as you start bouncing above him. your moans and whines are driving him wild, and the way your walls constrict around him has his thighs trembling against the quietly squeaking mattress.

"i'm not gonna last," he breathes out, and you shake your head.

both of your hands come up to his chest for support and you lean down to kiss his cheek, "it's okay, you can come,"

and he does, before the last syllable even falls from your lips. he's practically whimpering as his dick twitches incessantly. the feeling is overwhelming, mind-blowing, and he decides that perhaps, he's coming so hard because he's barely awake. part of him hopes he's dreaming, only because it means he'd be able to do this all over again.

alas, he is awake, and when he opens his eyes again after his orgasm, you're lifting your leg to climb off of him.

"let's shower, yeah?"

"where are you going? get back here," he sits up, your wrist clasped in his hand, "lay down."

he guides you to lay where he did a moment ago, scooting down to place his face right between your legs. renjun doesn't even wait for you to get comfortable before his mouth is on your pussy, lapping up the mix of his come and your arousal from your pulsing hole.

your core throbs against his mouth and you squeak out at the lewd sounds of sputtering, grabbing at one of his hands to tether yourself. his other hand cups your breast, elbows keeping your thighs parted for him.

renjun's eyes flutter closed as he savors you, relentlessly working you until you cry out his name. drops of your release drip down his chin and onto the sheets and you writhe under his hold.

"yes, yes!" your pleas prompt him to shake his head and you gasp out, fingers pressing into his arms to push him off. he doesn't budge, though, too obsessed with your taste and the prospect of overstimulating you. the longer his tongue fucks you, the longer you come, until finally, he comes up for air.

your chest rises and falls in rugged pants, and he only smirks at your state.

"i'll start running that shower for us. how does that sound?"

"sounds good," you nod weakly, and he squeezes your hand.

"it's a shame," he sighs, and you raise your brow at him. he sighs again, "i ate all my cum out of you. i guess i'll just have to fill you up again,"

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ jeno

there's a strange and warm wetness between your legs, most notable when you shift around in your state of limited awareness and feel your thighs gliding seamlessly against one another.

your eyes peek open tiredly, blinking to adjust to the darkness around you. there's a bit of commotion behind you, familiar low grunts that seethe through tightened teeth. jeno lays behind you, body parallel to match your curved form. he was still at schedules when you had fallen asleep, and it seems you didn't hear him come in.

you continue to look around, quickly finding the reason for the slippery situation between your legs. when you glance down, you catch the sight of his angry tip, rhythmically poking out from between your thighs.

normally, jeno prefers engaging in sexual acts when you're awake. he likes watching you fall apart because of him, it gets him off that much faster. tonight, however, he couldn't help himself. when he got home and noticed you had fallen asleep on top of the covers in only a tank top and panties, his already semi-hard dick practically doubled in size.

he had managed to be silent; until now, that is.

"fuck, yes," his voice is strained, no louder than a whisper.

"j-jeno?"

immediately, your boyfriend sucks in a breath and stops his movements. he's quiet for a moment, but when you stir again, he realizes he didn't imagine your soft voice calling for him. he sighs out.

"did i– shit, baby. did i... wake you?" you'd bet anything that his black orbs are blown wide, cheeks red in shame from being caught.

the corner of your lip lifts and you instinctively reach between your legs, wrapping your fingers around his head and pumping a few times.

"s'okay," you mutter sleepily, letting your eyes close again.

he chokes out a needy mewl, "god, i need you so bad, i need to fuck you. please,"

"m'too tired, jen-"

"you don't have to do any of the work, pretty. just lay back, i'll take care of it," his words are cooed, muffled into your back where he rests his forehead for a brief minute. when you nod and whisper out a few soft pleas, he gives your waist a squeeze.

jeno shifts away just enough for his hands to tug at your waist, rolling you onto your back. he doesn't spare a moment, immediately settling between you and spreading your legs apart to see the mess he made.

the bit of light that bleeds into your room from the streetlamp outside bounces off your soaked thighs, coated in a mix of pre-cum and spit. your boyfriend breathes out shakily, bringing his tongue to your skin to lap up some of the wetness.

the pudge of your thighs feels warm in his hands, flesh rolling against his palm as he massages it.

"i love using you...so pretty, all mine," his index finger hooks around the fabric of your panties, shifting it aside to reveal your cunt. with a pleased hum, he licks up the bit of your arousal that drips down your ass, before laying his tongue flat against you. the muscle works you for a moment, slurping and licking until your arousal and his saliva are coating your entrance.

he nuzzles his face deeper still, nose bumping you deliciously and rubbing into your clit when you grind against him. your quiet squeaks are cut off when jeno pulls back, jaw tightening as he spits on you. he dives back in to kiss your pussy then leans back once more, observing his work momentarily until he decides he's satisfied.

hurriedly, he scoots up onto his knees, slapping his dick on your clit a few times, "i'm gonna fuck you now, yeah?"

you eagerly nod, breathing out shakily as he pushes your legs up and to your chest, literally folding you in half. his left hand is large enough to hold the back of your knees and keep your legs in place, while his right hand guides his tip to push into you.

"mmm baby, 'love how you fill m'up," he understands what you mean even though your words are slurred, and he hisses in response, snapping his hips into yours a little harder. your nails dig into his arm as you whimper, impossibly tight from not being previously stretched out. the burn is delectable, though—a plain reminder of how big he is and how no one else can stuff you quite the same.

the position he has you in allows his tip to nudge your cervix with every thrust until you're squelching around him, sobbing and coming so hard that your vision has turned white. your hand flies to your mouth, eyes squeezing out hot tears that wet your cheeks.

he tries to muster a smug laugh but his jaw goes slack as realizes he's much closer than he thought. some of your juices gush when he pulls out, using his hand to milk himself until he busts all over the backs of your thighs and pussy with a shudder, making his second mess of the night.

his groans are loud and throaty, drawn out until the last of his seed has dripped out of his slit.

"feel free to wake me up like that whenever," you laugh airily. jeno's eyes narrow into cute half moons as he mirrors your smile, chest heaving and glistening. he pushes his hair back, then swipes his palm down his abdomen to wipe away the droplets of sweat that had gathered on his pale skin.

"stay here, let me clean you up."

"it's okay, i can-"

"nuh-uh. i promised i'd do all the work," he bends down to kiss your forehead, "now, let me baby you."

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ donghyuck

"stay still,"

"sorry. just trying to get comfortable."

he hums drowsily, nuzzling his head between your head and shoulder, cheek squished against yours.

"hyuck.."

he shushes you sharply, turning his face to press a sleepy, wet kiss to your cheek. the arms that snake around your waist pull you in closer until your backside is pressing completely to his front.

there's no perceivable space between the two of you, which you would not have minded any other day. today, however, your boyfriend had spent the majority of his morning playing video games. by the time you woke up, he'd already been smashing his keyboard and yelling into his mic in the next room over for at least three hours.

meanwhile, you woke up alone in your bed, panties wet and stuck to your folds, fantasizing about having hyuck fill you up to start your day. his absence meant you were left to tend to yourself, but your fingers were nowhere near as nice as his and your orgasm was weak and underwhelming. as you waited for him to be done, you showered and had breakfast to make time pass quicker, but he still wasn't done. that was an hour ago.

hyuck had returned a mere 15 minutes ago, annoyed by his performance in the game and claiming he was "in desperate need of a power nap." he curled up to your back and closed his eyes with a satisfied sigh, entirely oblivious to your neediness. until now, anyway.

"stop wiggling around! i can't sleep," his speech is slurred and mumbled, and it's obvious he has begun to drift off.

you don't answer or slow your actions, though; instead, you let your lids flutter closed to pretend to match his sleepiness, and roll your ass back into him again. hyuck leans up on his arm to look at you with puffy lips and a raised brow. when you peek open an eye and grind back a little more blatantly, hyuck gasps and grips your hips.

"don't start something you can't finish, baby,"

"i've needed you all day, hyuck! you were off gaming... i had to take care of myself," you whisper-shout, despite there being nobody else in the room. hyuck's mouth parts, brow creasing as lust washes over his tired eyes.

"yeah? i was ignoring you all day, huh?" he leans down to lick the shell of your ear, breathing his next words into it, "let me make it up to you.. let me help my needy baby,"

your cheeks glow pink and you fidget a bit as he squeezes your ass, playing with the flesh in his hands. it doesn't take long before he's shimmying your bottoms down to expose you fully. there's a bit of struggle when the covers get in the way, but he's quick to lift them up. as soon as the material of your clothes and panties is just past your knees, he presses himself against you, grunting as his dick swells within his basketball shorts.

you, beyond worked up, reach back for his hand, dragging it over your waist and between your legs. as soon as he feels you, he laughs.

"hmm, what are we gonna do about that, now?" you don't even answer, letting your actions speak for you. you take your lip between your teeth, maneuvering his fingers to rub circles onto your needy clit.

"that feel good?" when you don't reply again, hyuck slaps your folds gently as a kind of warning, making you clench around absolutely nothing, "use your words," he insists.

"yes," you pant, "feels so good, b-but i need more,"

a sort of content sound rumbles from his chest before he takes his hand back. you almost whine out and complain, but as soon as he slides his shorts down and plunges himself into your wet walls, your whine becomes a gasp.

hyuck, perhaps from being tired still, starts thrusting into you at an excruciatingly slow pace—one you may have the patience to ride out another day. today, however, your cunt is throbbing and begging for a worthwhile release.

your movements start as sloppy squirms, the walls of your entrance swirling around the head of his dick. he looks down to watch the way his length disappears in you, but his eyes roll back when you find your steady and quick rhythm. his hand flies up to hold your boob and his teeth graze your neck.

normally, hyuck is quite vocal, but the moment your ass cheeks start audibly slapping his thighs, pussy taking him insanely well, the moans and praises begin fall from his lips with zero restraint.

at one point, he's even louder than you.

"push that ass back into me baby, fuck."

"hyuck, i'm-" but you don't get to finish that thought, wrapping your fingers around his wrist as you come around him with a yelp.

he holds your hands tight against your chest as you come, whispering sweet nothings into your skin. when he's sure you've milked your release by the way your desperate grinding slows to a stop, he returns to his lazy pace, fucking into you deeply and tenderly.

"so good," he purrs, eyes fluttering closed.

"come for me," you mumble tiredly, and hyuck weakly laughs, digging his nose into your hair. his eyes squeeze shut and you hear the whine that gets caught in his throat when he obliges, stilling and releasing his warm load into your walls.

for a second, you think he might stay there and drift off, but he pulls out and moves to quickly tug your panties up before his cum can spill out of you. he pats your pussy over the soaked through cotton then snakes his arm around you, letting his eyes fall closed.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ jaemin

you will never fail to be impressed by your boyfriend's ability to sleep through seemingly anything.

in fact, despite how long you've dated, there's still no way for you to rationalize this special skill of his; it's practically a talent, and its infuriatingly frustrating. you don't care to admit it out loud, but you are, and always have been, beyond envious.

on days where jaemin goes to bed after you've drifted off, you're always stirred awake by the way the mattress dips to accommodate his tired body. regardless of how gentle he is, how quietly he pads over, lifts the covers, and slips into his side of the bed, he will always wake you up.

it's not like it bothers you! it's something neither of you can help, and you remind him of that every time he holds you close and mumbles that he's sorry for disturbing your rest.

but somehow, here you lie between his legs, hot tongue swirling around his swollen head and licking his slit, and your boyfriend lies completely still, chest rising and falling evenly. he's oblivious to your devious ministrations, even when you start taking him fully into your mouth, moaning and stroking him with your fisted hand in an effort to wake him up so that he can fuck your brains out.

it isn't until you've started trailing kisses along his thighs that he flinches slightly, his muscle twitching under your lips as if whatever you were doing tickled.

"jaemin, please..."

he hums, but he doesn't seem to be fully conscious yet.

"jaemin," you whine. nothing.

alright, fuck it. without thinking it over twice, you bare your teeth and sink them down less than gently on his thigh.

"ah, shi-" jaemin hisses and sits up a bit, leaning back on his elbows. when his hand lifts up the cover and he sees you, he sighs out.

his tone is teasing, the pitch of his voice deeper than usual from sleep, "tsk, tsk... you're so bad,"

"sorry," you giggle, "i've been trying to wake you up for a few minutes now."

"is that right?" he flips the covers away and brings a hand to your chin, his other arm going behind his head, "show me what you were doing, then?"

you hum and bring him to your lips, poking your tongue out to swipe along his shaft.

"fuck, that feels-" he pauses and gulps, "i'm so sensitive,"

"i know," you spit on his tip and pump him a few times, watching how his tired eyelids flutter closed, "like i said, i've been at this for a bit."

"mhm, don't stop. feels good,"

"yeah?"

he nods, gripping your hair to push you down. when he hits the back of your throat, he flexes his thighs, falling back onto the mattress. his free hand is on his stomach, stroking up and down his abdomen that tightens whenever you hollow your cheeks.

"so good to me, baby doll,"

you hum and he echoes you, and you can tell from the way he twitches in your mouth that he's getting close. just as you start bobbing up and down, he pulls you off, replacing his dick with his thumb that pushes down on your tongue.

"what kind of boyfriend would i be if i didn't make my baby come after she sucked me off so well? come sit on my dick, baby."

your pussy clenches and you moan around his digit, nerves buzzing with excitement. when he retracts his thumb, a string of saliva stays behind and he brings his spit covered finger to play with his slit.

he watches as you kneel, knees digging into the mattress as you peel off each item of clothing hurriedly. when you spin around to face his feet and straddle him, jaemin's laughs. his hands come down to slap your ass, keeping each cheek in his grip to guide you down his cock.

"i love this view," he comments, landing one more slap and soaking in the way your skin ripples from the impact. you lean forward to grab his knees, whining out when he thrusts up a few times.

every time his hips meet the bed again, his shaft glistens in your juices, and it only drives him to rut into you faster, to fuck your warm, gummy walls even harder.

so, he does, and he doesn't stop until his balls are slapping up at your clit and you're babbling out a string of praises.

"fuck, fuck. oh, i'm gonna-" jaemin's words get caught in his throat as he comes inside of you, triggering your orgasm. when you squeeze him, he huffs out, blinking away the sweat in his eyes so he can watch the way your head rolls back and your mouth parts in awe.

"that's right, baby," he reaches of your wrists, pulling your arms to rest on his chest so that your back is arched.

"jaemin, you're s'deep," the new angle is delicious, and he doesn't stop until your fluttering walls are so sensitive that the tears have been drawn from your eyes.

exhausted, you fall to lay beside him. his arms pull you close to his chest and he leans up to press a kiss to your lips.

"well, that was quite the way to start our day, huh?"

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ chenle

"poke me again, chenle, and i swear to god-"

"what? what are you gonna do?"

you don't answer, simply settling for turning your back to him and tucking the covers under your chin.

"hey," his finger prods at your hip for the umpteenth time, "i asked you a question,"

"chenle, i'm trying to sleep."

"you don't even work tomorrow," he grumbles, scooting closer. you don't know, but the hand that isn't being used to poke you is tucked deep into his boxers, cupping his dick and balls and occasionally massaging them.

once again, you don't reply.

"babe," he snaps. maybe if you ignore him long enough... "babe! babe, babe, babe, baby, babe, ba-"

at once, you flip around, wrapping your fingers around his throat, your other hand slapping over his mouth.

"chenle, i'm actually going to fucking end you," your hair fans around his face and he gulps under your palm.

"not gonna lie," he squeaks, "this is kinda turning me on," you scoff, eyes trailing down his arm to find it tucked away into his groin.

"perv," you flip back around with a huff, but this time, what pokes you isn't his finger.

his member, which he pulls out through the crotch hole, probes your bare ass cheek a few times, smearing his pearly pre-cum all over your skin. he tucks his face into your shoulder, kissing the skin on your neck.

"come on," he whines a bit, "didn't you like choking me?"

"chenle..." your tone is feigning annoyance, but your thighs are starting to press tighter together. tentatively, chenle slides closer, wary of your short fuse. he's careful to not push your limits, trailing his lips along your skin softly.

you hum out quietly, almost reluctant to give in, and he snickers.

"don't hold back. i want you just as bad." when you crane your head towards him, he kisses your lips, maneuvering your panties to the side in a smooth gesture, "this okay?"

"yes. please, chenle," you breathe into his mouth when he pushes into you, sliding into your warmth. his fingers tap your thigh so that you can hike your leg up. as soon as he has better access, his thrusts grow a little more eager, and as you grow wetter, the sound of him fucking you echoes around the room.

the sheets tangle between your fingers when he pushes all the way into you. he stops like this and you yelp out, completely stuffed, his balls pressed against your needy bud.

a strangled sound comes from chenle's throat from the way your walls are involuntarily fluttering, milking and massaging his length in random bursts. when it becomes a bit too much to sit through, he starts his pace again.

the pressure starts building in your abdomen in no time, but it doesn't last long; before you can fully relish in the feeling of your creeping orgasm, chenle's dick is out of you.

"fuck this," before you can say anything, his hands are turning you around to face him, pulling your leg up and around his waist, "wanna see you," he's explains quickly, then he's back inside of you with a wet squelch, gripping your hip hard enough to leave a bruise. at the way his eyes dig into yours, your jaw goes slack.

"a little more," you purr, and he snaps his cock into you harder, only realizing you've started to come because your voice has cut out and you've stopped breathing for a second, vision blurry from the wave of pleasure. the grip your hands have on his shoulders is deliciously tight, and you try tugging him closer.

chenle grunts, "where do you want it?"

"i-"

"baby, i'm gonna come," he chokes out, "where do you want it?"

"can't make a m-mess," you sigh out, "jus' changed the sheets,"

"baby," he urges and you nod, unintentionally squeezing his dick even tighter.

"inside! inside, please!"

his thrusts falter as he releases, painting your insides with streams of his seed. his smugness doesn't waver. he comes inside of you until he's pumped you full of every last drop, just as you had asked, and then instantly scoffs, laughing at your fucked out face.

"and here you were talking so much shit,"

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ jisung

whatever prompted you to drift into your state of unconsciousness with your legs spread open, jisung doesn't know. what he does know, is that his long and slender fingers are now buried in your cunt, coated in your arousal, and pumping in and out of you slowly.

he hasn't yet decided if he wants to wake you with his actions because part of him wonders if he could make you come in your sleep. so far, with the reactions your body has given him, he thinks he might just be able to.

upon first finding you like this when he woke up from his nap, jisung's dick swelled up in his boxers, tip leaking precum and jolting eagerly in need.

he remembers you mentioning that you wanted to be touched in your sleep, but your boyfriend had never before found an opportunity so perfect to fulfill your fantasy.

he wanted to, but every time he intended to wake you up to his tongue, or his fingers, or even his cock, you had fallen asleep with your legs were pressed together. he knew you might wake up if he repositioned you at all, and he was a bit embarrassed to get caught before he’d even gotten started. today was unlike any of those days, though.

today, your thighs were perfectly sprawled apart, showcasing your pretty folds that barely hid under your shorts. unable to keep himself from such a convenience, jisung brought his index finger to toy with your clit a little, just out of curiosity. in seconds, he noticed the shiny wetness that gathered at your entrance. when he slid his index finger in you and found no resistance, he let out a shaky breath, and that's how he found himself where he is now.

his index and middle finger are stuffed knuckle deep in you, free hand groping his own cock. he's been keeping track of each miniscule change in your body language and currently, his jaw hangs open at the way that even in sleep, your tight pussy is gripping his fingers like a vice, fluttering when he dares to curl his digits and rub your sweet spot.

your lips, which were previously pressed together, are now parted, and your eyebrows are pinched down at the center, almost in confusion. your breathing is faster, too, and he's moments away from ditching his plan to make you come like this.

he's itching to fuck your cunt fast with his fingers, to wake you up and make you come hard until you've soaked his forearm, but then, he hears you mumble something, and he decides to pick up his pace only a subtle amount.

"mmm, ji," you wiggle a bit, "feels good,"

"does it, baby?" he whispers, but you can't answer. you're not awake yet.

he adds his ring finger and your mewls grow desperate, your hands reaching across the bed for anything to grab. jisung knows you well enough to know you're close. he's made you come countless times before, and this wriggling is precisely what you do before you come undone.

ever so carefully, he brings his mouth down to connect to your clit, and as soon as he does, you gasp, eyes blinking open as you finally realize what's happening.

"holy shit, i'm coming," you moan out. your hands disappear into his hair, finally having something to hold and tug on as your back arches and your toes curl. when his teeth graze your bundle of nerves, presumably from the accomplished smile on his face, your leg makes its way over his shoulder to pull him closer, and the two of you hum in unison.

jisung is shamelessly fucking the mattress now, stalling himself so that you can ride out your high on his face and digits. he loves pleasing you just as much as he loves getting off, and the look that you give him when you finally come down has him reeling. his balls are fucking full, and he's so close that he thinks he could come right then and there.

you're shaking with overstimulation, face slightly puffy from sleep. your cheeks are bright red, your pupils are dilated, and the cutest little tired smile is playing on your lips. when you tug his hair gently, he understands it as you pulling him to you.

obediently, he withdraws his fingers and wipes away your wetness from his chin, attaching his mouth to yours to kiss you deeply and desperately.

"was that good?" he mumbles against your lips. you giggle and he does the same, pulling away to look you in the eyes.

"that was fucking great," you kiss him again, "but i wanna make you feel good, too."

"i'm close, but i just wanted to wait until i was inside you,"

with a soft grin, your hands tug his hips closer and jisung kneels with your thighs resting over his own, perfectly aligned with your sopping wet folds.

"fill me up, ji. such a good boy," he groans, both turned on and embarrassed at the same time from the nickname. he knows you're sensitive, so he slips in slowly, and that's all it takes for him to release his thick white cum into you. his head falls into the crook of your shoulder, and you rub his back as he thrusts shallowly, savoring his climax.

⋆ ★

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ghostofhyuck · 2 months

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NCT Dream and the things that make them go insane (18+)

cw: suggestive, mentions of sex.

AN: Did I took inspiration from Xiaodery's 'Don't go insane' challenge? yes I did. Lol don't take this too seriously. Also minors dni!!!

Mark Lee ; random moans

Yes Mark, you're not the only one who makes random moan noises. You know that type of noises you make whenever you stretch your body? or when you're eating a delicious food? You're very vocal when it comes to making those kind of noises and sometimes it just caught Mark off-guard. It's not intentional but it reminds him of the sounds you make whenever you two have sex. Sometimes he tells you to not do it, and you'll innocently ask him why. He might not resist of taking you there, that's why.

Huang Renjun ; revealing clothes

LISTEN Renjun doesn't care what you wear. He's not very protective when it comes to your outfits since it's your body after all. BUT when you're practically naked around your apartment, he'll start praying for his life. You tend to be comfortable wearing just an oversized shirt and panties or maybe a tank top and cycling that shapes your body perfectly. But it'll have Renjun fighting his inner demons. (he loses it.)

Lee Jeno ; tight-fit clothes

Now this one is different. Jeno just couldn't resist it when you're wearing clothes that's tight-fit enough that it curves out your body, especially your boobs and ass. He'll stare at it the whole day and he'll be embarrassed when he catches himself looking at it. But there are moments where his hands will trail over your body when you're wearing those kind of clothes. Oh and he loves ripping it for some reason ??? especially your leggings, he'll just buy you more he convinces.

Lee Donghyuck ; random touches

Donghyuck will start questioning you whenever you touch him randomly. It'll be just innocent touches like his cheeks or squeezing his arms, but when you have your hands in his thighs, Donghyuck will just stare at you, "???" or when you unconsciously touched his abs trailing it up and down, his mind will go blank and start to think that you wanted something. It'll give him mixed signals and he'll end up horny though.

Na Jaemin ; wearing his clothes

At first he adores it, whenever you steal his hoodie and wear it. It's very wholesome and you look small in his clothes. But when you're just wearing his top over your panties, he just couldn't resist it. Jaemin thinks that you look hot in his clothes especially after a round of sex, he'll be fighting the urge to take it off from you and just fuck you again.

Zhong Chenle ; makeup

Chenle would probably love the idea of messing your makeup. He loves your red lipstick and thinks you're seductive whenever you apply lipstick and ends it with a pout, he would probably kiss you afterwards, the messy, aggressive type where your lipstick smudges all over you and him. Chenle probably indulged at the thought of how you put so much effort on your makeup and thought of ways of ruining it by making you writhe under his touch and cry because of the pleasure.

Park Jisung ; seductive dances

Oh Jisung will be astonished at the way you moved. Especially when you two are dancing inside a club, you'll be swaying your hips left and right, feeling the music and rhythm, Jisung would be hype by it but he'll go crazy as he watch you dance sexily in public. He'll be the type who'll hold you close to him as you grind against him and perhaps even make-out a little bit on the dance floor.

#nct #nct dream #nct fic #nct imagines #nct dream fic #nct fluff #nct x reader #nct dream imagine #nct scenarios #nct dream fluff #nct dream reactions #nct dream imagines #nct mark #nct renjun #nct jeno #nct haechan #nct jaemin #nct chenle #nct jisung

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hwaflms · 7 days

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round & round! ★ [ l.dh ]

{💭} hyuck : i suggested playing spin the bottle because i wanted to kiss you, but now everyone’s kissing you except me :/

[☆] pairing. haechan x reader, slight jaemin x reader ft. 00’ line, chaewon of lesserafim and sieun of stayc

[☆] genre. smut + fluff | stoner!nct, pwp bc it’s me

[☆] wc. 6.1k

[☆] warnings. explicit content (mdni), weed/marijuana use, lots of making out, slight choking, dirty talk, fingering, sexual stuff in a semi-public place, use of the word ‘slut’, very slight degradation, not very proofread, pretty tame tbh

[☆] notes. my first time writing again in like??? two years???? istg i didn’t mean to abandon this acc 😞 pls be nice i haven’t written in a while and this is not my most favourite work but i’m warming up for more stuff in da future i just wanted to post a lil self-indulgent smth abt hyuck bc bf☝️ idk how active i’ll be because of uni and other things but i missed u guys!!! any feedback is appreciated enjoy :p

even through the clouds of smoke engulfing the little living room of jeno and jaemin’s shared flat, your hooded eyes still met.

today was an important day amongst your friend group; it was chaewon’s first time smoking up with everyone. your friends weren’t really the type to pressure anyone into doing anything they weren’t sure about, but considering the astounding majority who enjoyed smoking some variation of weed, group sessions were a frequent occurrence. you either joined in or didn’t, chaewon being the latter until she decided of her own accord that she was going to try it with the people she trusted.

you sesh with jeno most often, seeing as he was the one who introduced you to weed and taught you everything you know about it. after weeks of listening to you complain about sleepless nights, jeno suggested you try smoking a joint before you go to bed, especially since it was starting to affect your attendance. (“i can’t keep attending these zoology classes without you, y/n. every time something stupid happens, i laugh and make a joke out loud because i forget you aren’t there, and now i’m pretty sure people think i’m either insane or just really fucking lonely”.)

now, smoking up has been a pretty regular occurrence, especially since jeno introduced you to a bunch of his friends and vice versa, all of you making up one big, happy group of stoners. chaewon and sieun were your friends who got along with everyone else just fine, and though they didn’t hang out with the others as much as you did, they were still welcome whenever.

presently, you are leaning back against the couch, all the way on the end, because jaemin is sprawled out alongside you, opting to rest his legs on your lap. haechan makes a joke that you don’t understand, but you laugh anyway along with everyone else, except renjun who covers up his laugh with cough.

“you can never let me have it, huh?”, hyuck scoffs, narrowing his eyes at renjun who’s mouth forms a thin line. “i know for a fact you find me funny.”

you hear that he makes a remark back at haechan but what he says doesn’t register in your head, everything sounding far away. remembering the special occasion, you turn to face chaewon and sieun, who are giggling away on the floor about something between the two of them. you don’t know what they said but you smile anyway. she clearly seemed like she was having a good trip, and so was everyone else.

swallowing nothing, you realise how dry your throat feels, and with that realisation came this undeniable desire for some form of liquid. “jen,”, you tilt your head back and call out to the boy who was already rolling another joint on the table behind you. “did you end up buying more coke?”

“check the fridge”, he mumbles without looking at you, tongue poking his cheek out of concentration as he focuses on what he was doing. with a groan, you heave jaemin’s legs off your lap, muttering a couple ‘sorry’s when he starts to complain about the change in position.

you all but float to the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge and spotting the fresh cans of coke placed neatly in the overcrowded appliance. the first gulp feels like heaven against your parched throat, taking a few more while standing there.

“you gonna share or no?”, a voice startles you, turning to find haechan’s figure looming right behind you with a dopey smile on his face.

“god, we need to get you a bell or something. i never hear you coming”, you roll your eyes before grabbing two glasses from the cabinet. you’re disappointed to see that there was no ice in their freezer, but you pour the drink into the glass anyway.

“why are you pouring it into a glass?”, haechan furrows his eyebrows, looking pointedly between the glass and the literal can in your hand. “now we have to wash two glasses when we could’ve just drank it from the can.”

he’s right, of course, but you’re not gonna tell him that. instead, you pretend that you were planning on adding some lemon juice to the drink because you saw it on instagram. while you figure he doesn’t believe you, he humours you anyway and tries your little concoction, which ends up being pretty damn good.

out of all of jeno’s friends, haechan definitely stood out to you. you didn’t really understand why, you were just drawn to him, even way back before you met him, when jeno used to tell you about his friends. “loud and annoying” were the words he used to describe him, but the smile that appeared on his face anyway let you know that he was someone special to jeno. this was not to say his other friends weren’t special, you got along incredibly well with all of them, meshing right in with their group.

as of right on cue, jaemin’s voice loudly sounds out from the living room, “are you guys fucking in there or what?”.

sighing, you pick up your glass and begin to walk out of the kitchen, but not before purposely knocking haechan’s shoulder when you walk past him, hearing him snort before following you out as you exit the room. perhaps if you had lingered in the kitchen for a couple seconds longer, you would’ve heard haechan muttering something along the lines of “i wish” under his breath.

“jeez, took you long enough, can i have some of that?”, renjun drawls, lifting himself off the armchair with a smile, to which you roll your eyes but pass him your glass anyway. you sit down on the floor opposite the couch and he looks as if he is about to compliment your drink-making skills before haechan cuts him off.

“dude, chaewon and sieun look like they’re about to fall asleep, let’s do something”, he half yawns out, opting to stroll over to your spot on the floor and sinking down next to you.

“not…sleepy…”, chaewon murmurs, but her voice is muffled because her cheek is pressed against sieun’s shoulder, both of them sprawled out on the floor like it was a comfortable bed.

“sure you aren’t…”, jeno chides with a smile, getting up from the table to walk over to where all of you were situated. he twirls his newly rolled joint between his fingers, finally holding it out in his palm as if it were some magical gadget, and if you were being fully honest, you were sold. “round 2? or 3, I can’t really remember…”

some words of agreement were muttered across the room, chaewon and sieun even groggily getting up from what looked like a very comfortable napping spot. another rotation began, and you made sure to blow out your smoke directly into an unsuspecting haechan’s face when it was your turn.

“let’s play a game or something”, jaemin suggests, taking a long puff and passing it to jeno who sat beside him, and soon the room was hazy once again, the smell of weed infiltrating your nostrils.

“like what?”, chaewon coughs weakly in between her hit and renjun pats her back before he hands her your coke that you hadn’t received back after you gave it to him. so long for that.

“monopoly?”, jeno offers with a shrug and haechan lets out an obnoxious snore as a reply, making you laugh but you cover it up with a cough when you meet jeno’s playfully narrowed eyes. “okay then, big guy, what’s your incredible idea?”

haechan appears to actually think about it for a moment, looking around the room for some sort of inspiration maybe, until his eyes land on you.

“okay jaemin, get that empty wine bottle from last week, we’re playing spin the bottle”, he is grinning from ear to ear, wiggling his eyebrows even though all his suggestion receives is a bunch of groans and sighs.

your eyebrows are raised however, and you try not to let your reaction show too much on your face. spin the bottle? you hadn’t played that since you were maybe fourteen, but that was the least of your concerns at the moment. haechan wanted to play spin the bottle? who was he hoping to kiss? or was it just a whimsical little suggestion that was more of a joke?

it didn’t fully seem like he meant it as a joke, judging by his expression as he awaited some actual responses from the group. “what are we, fourteen?”, renjun might as well have read your mind, but he soon joins you and haechan on the floor, the others following suit. jaemin presents the empty bottle and places it in the middle of the little circle you have formed, everyone seeming slightly more keen as the joint runs out.

maybe it was the thc talking, but it didn’t really seem like a bad idea to you anymore. you were all single, attractive and close enough that it wouldn’t make things weird, and most importantly, you wouldn’t mind getting more familiar with haechan’s lips.

you shocked your own self with the sudden lewd thoughts in your head about the male sitting next to you, squirming in your position slightly. he turns his head towards you like he could hear your thoughts (“shut up, y/n, he can’t hear your thoughts…right?”) and you swear his eyes soften a bit. “are you sure you wanna play?”, he asks softly, mistaking your tenseness for discomfort, but you shake your head a little too quickly for your liking.

“no, no, let’s play, it’s not like we have anything better to do, right?”, you feign indifference and after everyone else agrees, the bottle is spun for the first time by haechan.

much to renjun’s dismay, it lands on him, and it’s almost comical the way he looks at the bottle pointing at him before slowly looking up at haechan. “renjunnie, let me kiss you”, haechan whines in a high pitched tone while drawing out the “you”, puckering his lips expectantly. the next three minutes consist of renjun listing every single person he would rather kiss than haechan, and you’d have half the mind to volunteer yourself if you weren’t clutching at your sides laughing at the whole exchange, slapping at both jeno and sieun who tried and failed to dodge your waving hands.

renjun finally relents when chaewon suggests he lets him kiss his cheek instead, but haechan is no quitter so he makes sure that he plants the loudest, most wet kiss on his face before sighing in victory when he sits back down. renjun is not the most happy with this, and he tells jaemin to take his turn instead while he rushes off to the bathroom to wash his face. hyuck looks indignant, calling out behind renjun, asking if he wants another one.

taking the turn instead of renjun, jaemin spins the bottle harshly, and it spins and spins and spins for what seemed like an eternity. your eyes are so focused on the way the bottle looks as it spins that you don’t even notice that it has stopped, until jeno nudges you with his shoulder. it’s neck is pointed directly at you, and you finally look up from your trance at jaemin, who wears an undeniable smirk on his face.

while you didn’t exactly see him that way, there was absolutely no denying that jaemin was a very attractive man, and he was no different presently, the sleeves of his hoodie rolled up as he propped himself up with his arms, looking at you expectantly.

you don’t want to look at haechan right now, because you can see out of the corner of your eye that his face is looking straight forward, not at you or jaemin, just forward. you wonder what is going through his head, but your thoughts are cut short when jaemin scoots closer to you in the circle.

“are you okay with this?”

and when you think about, you are. “yeah, i mean it’s just a game”, you reply, not wanting to ruin the fun or raise any suspicions, to which jaemin agrees and inclines his head towards you.

he kisses you, more fully than you were expecting, but you had no complaints really as you kissed him back, titling your head in the opposite direction to slip your lips over his. you wonder if your lips were as dry as they felt, and in the back of your mind it registers that your friends are watching you kiss your other friend because they hoot and giggle, but you can’t really bring yourself to care.

jaemin’s lips taste sweet and he smells sweet, his touch soft as he brings a hand up to your cheek, gently holding it while he continues kissing you. it probably wasn’t as long as it felt, but jaemin finally pulls away, the remnants of his sweet chapstick lingering on your lips. you are aware of how hot your face feels when you pull away and return to your spot, tucking your hair behind your ears.

“dude, what chapstick do you use?”, you ask after clearing your throat, and jaemin rummages in his pant pocket for a moment before whipping out a cute pink tube, holding it out in front of him. “strawberry dream, baby”, he winks, reapplying it on his lips. “never go anywhere without it.”

renjun returns after god knows how long, stating that he had to re-do his skin care routine because haechan had completely thrown off his skin’s ph balance, and is saddened to hear that he missed witnessing you and jaemin.

the game continues in a steadfast manner for the next couple of rounds thanks to haechan insisting we play one more round, though it doesn’t exactly go in the manner you were hoping for. the group is practically in tears after watching jeno and jaemin share an awkward kiss, chaewon arguing that they can’t claim “no homo” because it was the most homo thing she’d seen in a while, and that was saying a lot because she was, in fact, gay.

you have now kissed sieun, jaemin once again and an especially endearing renjun, who’s cheeks and tips of his ears are painted a bright red after you plant a full peck on his waiting lips. haechan grumbles something about renjun not having kissed anyone besides his mom to explain his reaction, but jeno is quick to cut renjun off before another argument ensues.

“i don’t know about you guys, but i think that’s enough exchanging of saliva for one day”, he all but sighs, lying down on the floor dramatically. while you do agree, you’re disheartened, because not once has the bottle landed on you when spun by haechan, or the other way around. it feels like the universe is fucking with you, because really how many times can you spin a bottle between a group of seven people and not have it land on the one person you want to kiss even once.

haechan looks like he wants to say something, but appears to decide against it in the end, stretching and standing up. it is then mutually agreed by everyone that it was time to watch a movie.

“super bad?”, jaemin proposes, and even though most people had already watched the movie, no one argues against it and jeno starts setting up the movie on their big screen tv.

settling into the couch, you glance over at haechan and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t feeling a tad bit disappointed. this whole spin the bottle thing makes you wonder about all the other times where you could have had an opportunity to make a move on the brown-haired boy.

you’d gone on long drives together, gone partying, even drank with just each other a couple of times. the closest the two of you had ever come to crossing that line was while you where dancing at a party and his arms were looped around your waist from behind, slowly swaying to the beat. you’d danced with him tons of times before that but you recall thinking the air was a little different than normal, more heated, but you also recall mistaking renjun for your professor, so you didn’t trust yourself. the moment came and went, and neither of you ever had the balls to address it, and now it had been way too long since to bring it up.

“this seat taken?”, haechan snaps you out of your bitter thoughts, jerking his head towards the spot on the couch next to you. you clear your throat and shake your head, scooting over slightly so he could sink down next to you. “what’s up, y/n, you look a little…not present. you still high?”

it’s funny because your mind certainly wasn’t present, it was in the gutter, but you choose to blame the weed. “yeah, i’m still high”, you answered truthfully, and so was he, his red, hooded eyes a dead giveaway.

“okay, perfect, i wanted to show you this stupid tiktok i saw”, he’s pulling his phone out of his pocket and leaning closer to you to show you some video of a cat, or maybe a dog, you weren’t paying attention. he laughs at whatever the animal did, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he does so, and you observe him instead of watching. when he doesn’t hear you laugh, he peeks over at you but you’re quick to turn your head back to his phone, letting out a very late giggle at the video.

if he did catch you, he doesn’t mention it, continuing to scroll and show you more videos. jeno finally gets the movie set up and turns off the lights, taking up the final seat left on the couch. the movie begins, and everyone falls into a comfortable silence bar hyuck, who makes the occasional comment that earns him a snort from you each time.

at some point during the movie, haechan stretches his arms out behind him, placing his arm on the head of the couch directly behind you. glancing at him quickly, you can’t tell whether the action was purposeful or not, because if it was, he was doing a very good job of looking nonchalant. you try your best to ignore it, but his hand is resting directly above your shoulder, inches away from touching you- but it never does.

you had never noticed what nice hands haechan had before. long and slender, nails clipped short and clean, his middle, ring and index finger adorned with various silver rings. you note that he wears three rings on his left hand, but none on his right. his right hand sits on top of one of his thighs, two of his fingers drumming against it following some rhythm going on in his head. his fingers are long, and the only thing you can think about is just how nice they would feel inside–

no, no, no, stop it, since when are you this horny?

you realise stressing out about how horny you are all of a sudden is just going to lead to a bad trip and you don’t want that, and you want to clear your head. even though you’re feeling a different kind of thirsty, you figure a distraction for a couple minutes would be helpful, so you excuse yourself to go get some water, jumping up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen. unbeknownst to you, haechan’s watchful eyes follow your figure as you exit the room.

finally away and in the kitchen, you fill up a glass and lean over the sink, closing your eyes to collect yourself. you can finish the movie without driving yourself crazy over haechan, right? tonight is no different than any other hangout and you don’t want to weird haechan out with your unnecessary staring and poorly concealed thirsting. you just need to stop thinking about his stupid hands, his stupid thighs, his stupid hair and his stupid kissable lips. “kissable? lock in, y/n, lock in…”

“who are you talking to?”

you wince but don’t turn around, eyes screwed shut tightly. you’ve been gone for a couple minutes and you don’t know when he left the room, but you put down the glass and turn to face him.

“what’s got you so jumpy?”, he questions, leaning against the counter. his arms are folded and his gaze is piercing, face tilted slightly to the left as he observes you. this is the second time he’s startled you in the kitchen today and also happens to be the very reason you’ve been so jumpy.

“nothing, i just…god, you need to starting announcing your entry into a room, dude…”

he furrows his eyebrows but lets out a chuckle anyway, slowly sauntering over to where you stood. eyes never leaving yours, he now stands directly in front of you, caging you in between the sink and his body. the closer proximity and dim lighting isn’t helping your case in the slightest, feeling all hot and bothered as if there was a sudden change in temperature. “what’s happening? you’re usually never like this, we’ve smoked up together so many times. are you having a bad trip?”

you understand why he might think that, what with your jerky movements, dazed staring and just overall disconnected demeanour. while you were wound up a little tighter than usual, you weren’t having a bad trip, your mind was just very slightly preoccupied. “no, hyuck, i’m fine, i just…needed some water”, it’s a half-lie you tell, choosing to not tell him the full truth for the sake of your own pride.

“you just seem…off”, he seems to pick his words carefully, eyes roaming over the expanse of your face. “no, i just…”, you trail off to try and find the words to explain this situation away, but he’s just looking at you so intensely. it’s so silent in the room and the air feels all too still, and you swear you’re trying to speak coherently but haechan switches his weight to his other leg, wetting his lips with his tongue while he awaits an answer and you just freeze. “i…”

“‘i’ what? see? you’re doing it again”, he starts, running a hand through his hair, and the muted light that leaks in through the window illuminates only one half of his face, but you can see him so clearly that even the way his pretty eyelashes brush against his cheek when he blinks doesn’t go unnoticed by you. you’re subconsciously chewing on your bottom lip, feeling a little like a deer caught in headlights. “you have this look in your eye. like you wanna…”

“…what?”

everything is still and unmoving, until your eyes zero in on haechan’s hand as he raises it, slowly bringing it to graze his fingers over your cheek. his touch leaves a burning hot trail on your skin and using his thumb, he releases your bottom lip from under your teeth, hand lingering cautiously for a fleeting moment before he drops it.

“like what, haechan?”, you repeat yourself, urging him to just say whatever it is he has to say, getting tired of this back and forth. you could sell a kidney just to see what was going on in his mind right now, because he looks torn between speaking his mind and just staying silent.

“like you want to kiss me.”

a few beats of complete and utter silence pass, not even hearing the dull sound of the television in the living room anymore over the thudding of your heart in your ears. haechan takes a small and tentative step towards your frozen figure, gripping the counter you’re using to lean against with his right hand, effectively trapping you in your place. now you really are a deer caught in headlights, because he’s spoken what you’ve been thinking about for the past couple hours into existence and he is absolutely correct.

“am i wrong, pretty?”

judging by your sharp intake of breath and open-mouthed expression, you’d have to be a fool to think otherwise. he looks as if he’s waiting for you to answer him regardless, giving you a chance to get out of this, but your voice is no longer functioning, and it takes all the strength in your body to shake your head ‘no’.

his eyes flicker between your eyes and your lips, tongue peeking out to lick his lips again. “i suggested playing spin the bottle because i wanted to kiss you”, his voice is strained as he admits this, quiet and careful like he’s holding back while his eyes are trained on yours like he’s daring you to break eye contact. you don’t. “but then everyone else was kissing you but me.”

normally you would giggle at his little frown, but all you can muster up is a whisper of his name, finally breaking his all-consuming eye contact in favour of looking at his lips again. you don’t know who moves first, but the next thing you know is your lips are pressed together in a fierce kiss, your hands tangled in his soft, brown locks while he grip your waist and pull you into him.

he kisses you like a man starved and you do the same with equal fervour, not even being able to process that your little daydream is coming true. his hand comes up to caress your cheek, soon moving down your neck after stroking your face softly, using it to tilt your head for you. the position of his hand is very purposeful because his thumb presses into your throat ever so slightly, but his grip is still tight enough that you couldn’t break the kiss (not that you wanted to, anyway). the other hand snakes around your waist and pulls you impossibly closer, pressing his hips into yours.

you’re positively drunk off the feeling of haechan’s lips molding over yours and you think you might just ascend when he tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth, using the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. body on fire, you mewl against his lips, swirling your own tongue around his while he slowly but surely bucks his hips into yours.

no wards are spoken while your hands thread through his hair, pulling on it and letting out a sound of surprise into his mouth when his hand trails down to your ass and grips it harshly. he finally releases you from the searing kiss, but he doesn’t let you catch your breath, instead spinning you around in his hold so that his front presses tightly into your back, hands slipping around your waist from behind. this feels like a déjà vu kind of moment because you are reminded of the time when you both were dancing in this exact position, except this time you were getting exactly what you wanted.

“you know how bad i wanted this?”, his voice echoes your thoughts and breaks the silence, hands running up and down your front in a teasing manner. lifting your shirt up slightly, he trails his fingers over the exposed skin of your torso and the action makes you squirm in his hold a little, and much to your surprise, he groans lewdly against your ear. “fuck, i’ve been thinking of this for so long. kissing you, having my hands all over you…”

you get the sense he’s talking more to himself than you, but you revel in it nonetheless. his hand grips your jaw and squishes your cheeks together so your lips form a pout, forcing it to the side where he plants one, two, three kisses to your puckered mouth. his other hand slips further up your shirt where he brazenly cups your boob through your bra, fondling one of them while his tongue peeks out to flick at your bottom lip.

you’re putty in his arms, all gasps and squirms and whispered ‘haechan’s. “what, baby?”, he mumbles into your cheek, the hand gripping your jaw letting go in order to slink down to your hip where it lingers for a moment. “what do you want?”

your lack of answer doesn’t bode well with him, earning you a tight squeeze to your hip as a kind of warning. “need you to touch me”, you whisper out defeatedly, and you feel haechan laugh mockingly against your face.

“yeah? need me to touch you?”, he mimics your voice while tutting, letting his hand slip further down to where you needed him the most, but not letting you have it just yet. “think you can be a good girl and keep quiet for me? we don’t need everyone outside hearing what a little slut you’re being in here.”

everyone outside. the fact that you were just a room away from all your friends who were sat watching a fun little movie together had completely slipped your mind, but if you were being honest, you couldn’t find it in you to give a shit. everything about your current disposition was so dirty. one hand under your shirt, the other about two seconds away from fingering you right in the middle of your friends’ kitchen, while said friends were sat outside, unaware of the goings-on under their own roof.

though you didn’t think actually getting caught in this position would be the most pleasant experience, the idea of it dampened your panties and caused you to whine out loud, tilting your head back against haechan’s shoulder. you receive an immediate hand clamped over your mouth in return, haechan tutting in your ear condescendingly. “looks like the little slut can’t follow a simple request.”

even though he reprimands you, his hands begin fumbling with the button of your jeans anyway, undoing it and pulling the zipper down. one hand comes up to wrap around your front and rests on your shoulder, holding you in place, and the other he sticks down your pants and cups your heat but makes no effort to move, chuckling when you try to move yourself against it. his crotch ruts against the swell of your ass and for you, any friction is better than no friction at the moment. with one hand gipping the arm around your shoulder, you slip the other behind you to palm at his hard cock over his pants, making him let out a sound of approval.

“please, hyuck”, you shake your face free of his hand and turn to look him in the eye, and he grips your throat and presses a chaste kiss to your lips.

he seems to accept your plea, finally moving his hand against you and you breathe a sigh of relief, lost in the feeling of his fingers rubbing circles on your clit over your wet underwear. he’s quick to slip his hand inside your panties, cold fingers pressed directly on to your bare pussy, spreading your wetness all over you. when he ultimately slips a finger into your tight, waiting core, you moan but it’s cut short when he slaps his hand over your mouth again. “keep. quiet.”

if someone were to walk in, the two of you would be a sight to see. you writhing in his tight hold while his hand is stuffed in your pants, two fingers pistoning in and out of you at a fast pace as his forehead is pressed against the side of your face, releasing short breaths. you look positively fucked out, and you’re both in a state of complete bliss as you grind against each other in a timely rhythm.

“my pretty girl. if i had known you wanted this too, i would’ve just grabbed you and kissed you like i wanted, in front of everyone.”

his voice is honey-like and sultry, and his fingers are nothing short of heavenly. they pump in and out of you, and he still manages to use his thumb to toy with your clit in this position, leaving you breathless and on the edge. “can’t believe jaemin and renjun got to kiss you before me.”

you’re so wet that your cunt makes downright sinful noises as he fingers you and you’re hoping that it isn’t really as loud as it seems. “you’re so wet, angel. so this is what had you all jumpy today”, he laughs like he’s stating the obvious, and you’d have half the mind to feel shy if his ministrations didn’t feel so fucking good right now.

you’re aware that you’re close and so is he because you’re clenching around his fingers, so he quickens his pace both inside you and against your clit. “you gonna cum for me, baby? right here, in the middle of kitchen, while everyone’s outside?”, he purrs against your face and you grip the part of his arm that isn’t shoved in your pants, digging your nails into his skin in a way that’s sure to leave a mark. his words make you feel dirty in the best way, not even knowing you could feel this turned on.

he peppers kisses along your jaw and neck, sucking here and there, and through the pale moonlight bleeding into the room from the window, the red blemishes that begin to bloom on your skin are visible to hyuck, and he seems pleased with his artwork. “that’s it, sweetheart, let go for me.”

your moans are muffled against his palm when you finally come, the orgasm ripping through you so strongly that you go limp in his hands, legs almost buckling at the sensation. with the added boost of the weed you smoked earlier, your orgasm is immense, feeling it pulse through your body until it’s too much, whining and wriggling in haechan’s firm hold. he holds you still and helps you ride out your high, whispering utterances of “that’s right, baby” and “my good girl” into your ear while you throw your head back and try to regulate your breathing.

in a moment, his hand slips out of your pants, turning you back around so you’re now facing him, grinning down at you from ear to ear as if you both hadn’t just defiled jaemin and jeno’s kitchen. “you feeling okay?”, he mumbles, tucking your hair behind your ear with the hand that wasn’t soaked, pressing a number of kisses all over your face as you nod and giggled, trying to evade his attack. he lets you go just to wash his hands, and it’s when he dries his wet hands on the material of his pants that you notice his raging boner, immediately feeling bad.

“wait hyuck, let me–“

as if he’s reading your mind once again, he shakes his head and takes both of your hands into his, wrapping them around his own waist while pulling you into him. “we can save that for another time, pretty”, he insists, his expression turning shy when he realises the implications behind his words. “that is, i-if you want another time, of course–“

it’s your turn to cut him off this time, but you do so by leaning up and connecting your lips again, bring a hand up to stroke his cheek. “of course i want another time, hyuck. i want this. i want you.”

your assurances do good to bring a smile to his pretty face, taking ahold of the hand on his cheek and pressing his lips to your skin gently, lovingly. “so, so, perfect.”

taking note of the prolonged amount of time the two of you had been gone, you skulk back into the living, but this time, hand in hand.

the scene you’re greeted with is a surprising one, because you find every single one of your friends to be sound asleep, much to your amusement and hyuck’s dismay. “so you’re telling me i could’ve been hearing you moan the whole time and none of these idiots would have even known?”, he is appalled, a hand coming up to rub at his face out of frustration. “i did all that for nothing?”

“i wouldn’t say for nothing”, you reveal, biting your lip and smiling up at the boy shyly. “i might have woken them up.”

“oh yeah, well now you’re going to”, and with that, he’s dragging you back to the kitchen while you giggle, nearly tripping over your own feet before he all but scoops you up in his arms, muttering to himself about having left something in the kitchen that needed urgent fetching.

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hoshieeyewrinkles · 2 months

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• Nct dream as bad boys falling in love with you. •

♡ Notes. Alt. When you are the good girl who fell in love with them.

♡ Cheesy as hell.

♡ stereotypical bad boy and good girl.

♡ Fluff. Fluff. Fluff.

♡ Reader is innocent and sometimes a dumbass

♡ Not requested [ requests are open tho. Pls go through my pinned post before requesting]

Mark

~ randomass bad boy

~ spots you during recess in the hallways.

~ could not stop thinking about you after that, your cute keychain hanging off your bag, the little giggles you let out with your looser friends as he calls them. All had him going crazy

~ waits in the same hallway everyday even though he doesn't have any classes there, only to glance at you.

~ grins like an idiot after you shyly smiled at him once.

~ "you are such a creep, mark." "shut up haechan"

~ he finally asked you out one day after some great encouragement from his friends ( haechan threatening him to ask you out or else he will) . Was nervous that you might get scared because of his eyebrow piercings and bad reputation.

~ was surprised that you accepted, looking at him with doe eyes and a cute grin. He fell harder before he could even process your reply.

~ his life improves because of you. Your pouts and little scoldings you give him for not wearing a helmet or coming late. It all made him change as he avoided everything bad to make you happy.

~ "I'm sorry angel, I didn't mean to come late. Don't be mad please" Screaming.

Renjun

~ certified tsundere

~ found you so annoying at first. Why did you have to finish all the work at time and be such a good girl?

~ and why the fuck did you have you have to walk around with your gaze down? Can't you look forward for fuck's sake?

~ everything you did kinda annoyed him at first and yet he couldn't understand why he made sure no one bullied you or laughed at you.

~ glares at anyone who looks at you for long time.

~ "she is so fucking annoying, walking around cutely with that stupid banana milk like tf" "renjun you are in love with her"

~ realises he has a crush on you. Panics. Gets more annoyed.

~ walks you home one day making you confused. Carries your books. Sits beside you in every class you guys share. Lends you his leather jacket when you are cold. Brings you banana milk everyday.

~ you're confused but you can't help but feel all giddy in your stomach when he acts like that. You give him a cupcake one day.

~ he stared at it the entire class. He is not gonna eat it. He'll preserve it forever.

~ you pecked his cheek one day to calm him down as he ruthlessly punched a boy after he made fun of you

~ pulls you into a kiss in front of everyone.

~ chuckles so sweetly when you blush. You take his bruised hands in yours worriedly all while he stares at you as if you are his entire world. (Which you are)

~ "No one's ever gonna hurt you, princess. I love you so fucking much."

Jeno

~ Bad boy next door

~ you are his neighbour. All he does is blast loud music with his friends creating ruckus in his backyard. His parents are always out of town.

~ you are the new girl who moved next door with your strict parents.

~ he watches you watering your plants everyday. Notices the little glances you threw at his way and how you stammer to reply when he waves hi at you with a lazy smirk on his face. "Whatcha looking at sweetheart?"

~ he finds so you so fucking adorable.

~ throws away his cigarettes whenever you catch him smoking, you don't mind but he doesn't want to scare you. So he tries to change his appearance, hides his tattoos and piercings.

~ frankly, he doesn't understand why tf he cares so much about what you think but he can't stop thinking about you. Especially after you gazed at him with the softest eyes when he came home bruised. Asking him to come inside your home so you can bandage him.

~ he knew you had very present and strict parents (something which he can't relate to) yet you still took the risk to call him in.

~ he straight up confesses to you one fine day when you were aiding his bruises (a little routine between you guys when your parents aren't home)

~ he climbs through your bedroom window even if your parents are present. He doesn't give two fucks. All he wants to do is see his angel. "I haven't seen you since yesterday princess, let me have a look please"

~ you accept his confession without hesitance and reassures him that you don't care about his appearance and he doesn't need to change himself.

~ he falls in love with you harder than ever, god forbid if jeno even sees a scratch on you. You're his little treasure, his everything. He will fight against the world for you, will jump in the fire for you.

~ "come on baby, don't scold your nono pls" a true Samoyed.

Haechan

~ resident's bad boy.

~ has the most gaze ever, looks like he is the scariest person alive but is actually a little tease.

~ don't think he doesn't throw punches tho, beats the shit out of people just for leaning on his bike.

~ spots you in the midnight carrying a tub of ice cream in your hand, walking out of the supermarket. Yeah he thought you were a dumbass to walk alone at midnight.

~ tries to ignore you but fails when he spots creepy looking guys following you. They start to corner you and haechan sighs before stepping in.

~ takes out his pocket knife and the guys starts sprinting away. Haechan turns back expecting you to look at him with fear but was surprised to find you staring at him with jaw open and flushed cheeks. "what the fuck are you? A damsel in distress?"

~ he kinda roasted you but you didn't care, shyly thanking him. He scoffs before asking you to hop on his motorcycle.

~ drops you home and asks your name. He chants your name in his mind after that.

~ you were pleasantly surprised to find him near the same supermarket the next day, turns out he has his little garage there. "What's up princess? wanted to see me again, yeah?"

~ after that he looks forward to your little meet ups. He lifts you up and puts you on his motorcycle seat while he fixes the engine. Mentally gushing at how cute you look with your little brain trying to understand what he is doing. "Yes this definitely looks like a donut princess"

~ lets you ramble about the books you read and even tries reading them so he can talk about more stuff with you.

~ confesses to you on a random thursday under scorching heat near his garage. Kisses you so passionately when you smile at him, not needing to hear any other words.

~ "Princess, you got some grease on your nose." Literally will do anything for you.

Jaemin

~ weirdass bad boy

~ sells weed and anyone can tell that he is a high mf all the time.

~ you were dared by your friends to buy weed. (They tricked you to buy it for them)

~ you nervously went near Jaemin who sells weed in the basement of some sus building.

~ he looked so scary at first glance but gave you the sweetest smile once he looked at you.

~ he knew you were too innocent and nice to buy this shit so he tried to talk you out. Finds you so adorable as you stammer to reply. Eventually you didn't buy because he convinced you. "Good girls don't do such things, sweetheart."

~ Jaemin later wondered why he didn't let you buy it when he could have gotten some good cash but something inside him just melted when he saw your big orbs.

~ after a few days you were pressurized again by your fakeass friends to go inside his basement while they waited outside. Jaemin was surprised to see you again but the disappointment on his face was real when you asked him for weed again.

~ he goes out of the basement and gives the deadliest glare at your friends who then proceeds to run away.

~ "what did I tell you last time princess?"

~ you became friends with him after that and he protects you all the time. Picks you up and drops you home. Makes sure no mf comes near you.

~ eventually he stopped doing all the shady shit, though he didn't change his shady appearance because duh he is a bad boy. He did it all for you cause you deserve a good person and even though he is not one, he will try his best to be one for you.

~ takes you to ice cream dates every weekend and one day you confess to him. He went quiet for a few moments before looking at you deep in the eyes and gave you the same sweet smile again.

~ is the most clingy and softest boyfriend ever. So protective and treats you as if you were made of glass.

~ "No doll, don't lift such heavy things. You will get hurt, go sit there and let me do it."

Chenle

~ didn't even know people considered him bad news. He thought everyone loved him.

~ he is a brat, does what he wants and gets what he wants. Frankly just enjoying his life in the most rebellious way as possible.

~ he does illegal car races and that's how he finds you there among all the rich brats, though you weren't one. You were just here to accompany your friends.

~ realises he never saw you here before. Comes over and tries to flirt with you but was surprised to see you acting all shy and nervous.

~ knows you weren't meant to be here "You shouldn't be here in places like this unless your family is influential enough. Let me drop you home cutie"

~ drops you home in his sports car and asks for your number.

~ at first he just wanted to flirt around with you but days went by and he couldn't stop thinking about your little nerd talks.

~ you were such a breath of fresh air in his life. He didn't even want to take you to his car races because it's full of shady people and you are his sweet angel who shouldn't be in the eyes of such people.

~ but after you gave him your puppy eyes, he just couldn't refuse "Alright princess, don't talk to anyone and just stay here with jisung."

~ comes to you after every race he wins and you confess to him.

~ "what do you mean? I thought you were already mine?" Asksksk he genuinely thought you guys were

~ kisses you passionately after every race he wins.

~ he never thought he would want to settle down in life but he can't stop thinking about you as his bride, you are his future and his final dream.

~ "Do you even realise how precious you are to me?"

Jisung

~ the most quietest and minds his own business type of guy.

~ you were the one who developed a crush on him first after seeing him in the hallways with his leather jacket on and a small smirk on his face while talking to his friends.

~ all he does is hang out with his little friend group and beats people who annoy him. he was very mysterious tho.

~ you pass by the same hallway everyday to see him. You were sure he didn't even know you existed but you were so wrong.

~ he noticed your shy glances and cute nature everyday. He just ignores you because he feels he is bad news for you.

~ yet he feels himself smiling at random times thinking about your pretty smile. "Fuck she is so cute"

~ realises he should stop and one day gives you the iciest glare making you think he finds you annoying.

~ so you stop passing by the same hallway and don't look at him anymore.

~ he feels shit because he didn't mean to scare you. Asks for advice from his hyungs. They hollered and cheered because he finally developed a crush on someone. "Our jisung finally grew up awwww" "hyung please shut the fuck up"

~ he doesn't have a crush tho. He is straightass in love with you.

~ one day comes to you with a bouquet of roses and confesses in the most nervous tone ever.

~ your both faces were in the same colour as the roses. So cute omg

~ after that day you were known to be jisung's girl and everyone knew better than to mess with you.

~ you guys are the most cheesy and disgustingly cute couple. Often the target of his hyungs teasings. "I love you angel." "I could have lived my entire life without hearing those nicknames." "Haechan hyung please."

~ you tutor him sitting on his lap everyday while he nuzzles his face in your neck. "Stop kissing me ji"

~ "I'm sorry love, you are just so fucking adorable"

[That's it I have fed your guys delusions enough for today]

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luviestarz · 7 months

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lee haechan fic recs!

❤︎ I LIKE YOU (I DO) (L.DH) - @domjaehyun (stoner!haechan just wants you to know how much he likes you.)

❤︎ paperclip - @smileysuh (yandere, ex bf! hyuck)

❤︎ My Boy. - @prodbymaui (A series of failed relationships and you were this near of giving up on love. But then here comes little Donghyuck and his persistence. Maybe-- he was the one fated to you, after all.)

❤︎ kiss it better - @yeow6n (haechan gets hurt but you know that with him it’s not going to be as simple as putting a band-aid on it)

❤︎ sugar, butter, & the royal crown - L.DH - @haechwrites (prince donghyuck only has one princess on his mind, but she's not actually a princess. she's just the royal baker's granddaughter.)

❤︎ bus stop - @ooshu (haechan rides the bus. you hop on the same ride. minutes later, you two were a couple. he never questioned why.)

❤︎ strawberries & cigarettes - @hyudior (the art school's play is in two days and you're running out of time to put everything together since your known enemy lee donghyuck decided that the rehearsal day was the perfect day to release a launch party for his new album.)

❤︎ >> take my breath - @hyuckwrlds

❤︎ moles ♡‧₊˚ lee haechan - @sleeping-sirens (you read something on the internet that made you feel jealous of a person you didn’t even know but haechan knows just how to reassure you.)

❤︎ haechan — gold-skinned, eager baby - @hyuckmov (he used to be able to hide it. he used to be fine with glancing at you, habitually flicking his eyes to your chest when you would walk into the room or snuggle up to him. but now he’s totally fucked, because he thinks he’s developed some sort of addiction.)

❤︎ eyes tell - @tonicandjins (donghyuck has been trying to confess his feelings to you. third time's the charm, he thinks.)

❤︎ going below zero | l.dh - @cherryeoniis (Considering how much Haechan makes it his personal mission to antagonize you at work, it seems like a rather cruel twist of fate that the both of you have been side by side since middle school, the only consolation being that his office is a different floor from yours. But if there’s a saying about how distance makes the heart grow fonder, your attitude with him might just be the opposite, and it’ll take a family ski holiday to find out.)

❤︎ take my breath. - @sixzeroes (lee donghyuck did not believe in ‘love at first sight.’ key word: did. he does now, but only because you happened to fall into his arms on the icy road in the narrow streets. you’re going to render him breathless from the countless times your smile takes his breath away.)

❤︎ ice cream thief [ l.dh ] - @tddyhyck (someone has been eating haechan's favorite ice cream so he decides to put a hidden camera in the kitchen and living room thinking it's a shared space it shouldn't invade anyone's privacy... right?)

❤︎ tease | lee haechan - @hyuckiefluff (Playing spin the bottle definitely wasn't what you had envisioned for your first college party. And the last person you expected to see was Lee Haechan. But life has a funny way of throwing surprises at you, and this time it came in the form of the bottle landing on some drunk dude who dared you to kiss Haechan.)

❤︎ 𝟏𝟎 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ¹⁸⁺ - @goldyeokki (you and lee donghyuck both get along like oil and water. if it were up to you, you would be going about your days without even breathing in his direction. unfortunately you're in the same friend group and you have to tolerate each other. as handsome or attractive as people claim him to be, you hate his guts. there's so many reasons why you hate him, so why do you get butterflies in your stomach when he's near?)

❤︎ high (with my lover) [m] – l.dh - @yeonghosins (y/n smokes up with donghyuck for the first time)

❤︎ what the puck! - @choerrypuffs (you hit the university’s star hockey player with your car. shenanigans (and maybe even a little romance) ensue.)

❤︎ double take | l.dh - @cherryeoniis (friends to lovers, highschool au, slowburn, fluff, angst)

❤︎ Your Red Lipstick || L.DH - @ihaechans (Kisses, kisses, kisses. That’s all your boyfriend wants. When you refuse to give him the one thing he craves, he won’t leave you alone, begging and begging until you give in.)

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polarisjisung · 3 months

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KISSES WITH NCT DREAM

pairings: nct dream × fem! reader

genre: fluff

warnings: mentions of giving hickeys (for jeno) + reader is implied to have long(ish) hair + use of pet names

notes: a little different to usual but i want to post more often and I love reading these little headcanons! although I do need to switch it up from all the fluff 🫠

MARK-cozy morning kisses:

mark loves lazy mornings, holding you by the waist to make sure you don't have a chance to escape the warmth of the duvet you're all wrapped up in. sure your hair's a little messy but mark loves the domesticity of waking up next to you. you'll make every attempt to make your way out of the confines of your shared double bed but mark ultimately wins, shutting you up with a kiss when he feels like you're talking too much

"mark baby, please I have work" mark could not care less— really, they should've made it illegal to work weekends

"you have a boyfriend too" he'd tuck the hair falling from your ponytail behind your ear and you're a sucker for the way he'd let his palm rest over your cheek as he pulls you into his chest underneath the covers

"markie, I'll get fired" you know you'd lost the battle the second mark let his eyes land on your lips, the ones that were still shining from the left over lip mask you'd applied the night before, but you still try to bolt out of the covers as fast as you can, undoubtedly you'll get pulled back in by mark just a few seconds later

"don't run from me baby" he's all pouty, you know its all just a facade to get a couple extra minutes in bed with you but saying no to mark just wasn't one of your capabilities

when you finally sigh in defeat,

"just 5 minutes" with a roll of your eyes, he's peppering sweet kisses all over your face, placing a couple pecks on your lips too

"I'll take 5 minutes"

best believe he'll take a lot more than just 5

RENJUN-stupid adorable smiley kisses:

kisses with renjun start out ever so gentle, a quick touch of your lips before he's checking to see your reaction. doesn't matter how long you've been dating, renjun still gives you butterflies every damn time, and he's the same with you, all giddy and kicking his feet, so you both start out so smiley against each other's lips, soft and sweet. on occasion renjun likes to go for deep, more meaningful passionate kisses, and the second you see his starry eyes staring up at you, grin formed into a soft smile, you know his hand is going to reach for your jaw and his lips are going to move rushed against yours

there's a sparkle in his eyes, a glint that tells you renjun won't stop at a few pecks— naturally you don't mind at all

"my love?" he coos, looking up at you, taking in your features as though he's trying to commit every detail of your pretty face to memory, your moles, the shape of your lips and your sparkling eyes, he would memorise it all in that very moment

you swear he looks at you as though you've painted the sky and hung the stars, and every time you catch yourself wondering what you've done to be lucky enough to deserve him

"I love you" as those words slip so effortlessly out of his lips, he'll guide you with a hand against the back of your head to meet his lips again, with more urgency this time

"I love you too" you'd breathe out, an oppurtunity you'd never miss

JENO-neck kisses

jeno loves your lips, kisses, pecks, full on make out sessions— he doesn't mind. but every time he finds your hair tied back and your neck on display he sees it as the perfect chance to show that you're absolutely not single, very much taken in fact. jeno finds joy in carving his initials into your neck or leaving small, unintentional patterns behind sucking and gently biting at the warm skin on your neck. the kisses eventually trail their way up across the bone of your jaw, his hands tugging at the ends of your hair as he twirls it between his fingers. jeno wants it all, quick kisses will do if you're out and about but the second you're home, kissing is at least a 20 minute task.

when you're out, be it hanging out with friends or running errands together, especially in the summer, when you like to tie your hair back a lot more frequently, jeno finds himself going absolutely feral, he's like a child begging his mother to go home

your back is against the wall the second you step through the door, jeno's lips impatiently capturing yours. he's a literal animal, he'll devour any lipstick you're wearing like it was never even there, before his kisses land on your collarbone.

"knew what you were doing when you tied your hair up baby hmm?" jeno likes to think you do it on purpose, to mess with him just a little, admittedly you do, but if you could be honest it had been solely unintentional this time

"come on jeno" your hands land on his chest, almost avoiding the hungry search of his lips for the skin of your neck "didn't know you were so needy"

you like to tease him, his cute agitated kisses becoming a little more intense at your words

equally jeno finds no shame in just how crazy he is for you

"needy for you baby, only you"

something about his urgency mixed with his loyalty forces you to forget about the hickeys you'll spend hours covering up over the next few weeks

HAECHAN- tip of your nose kisses:

haechan loves a makeout session as much as the next person, and despite his forward and bold attitude, sometimes the hard-core kisses just aren't what he's looking for. his favourite solution? kissing the tip of your nose, he likes booping your nose here and there as it is, but in his softest moments, where you find his eyes staring your way in pure awe, haechan's eyes travel to the tip of your nose immediately. it doesn't take long for his lips to follow— a tentative kiss to make sure you're in the mood to be absolutely bombarded with his love

forehead kisses are a close second, and eventually haechan gives in to delicate tender kisses on your lips, his fingers interlaced with yours

"have I ever told you I love you?" kisses with haechan are playful, so you can always tell he's in the mood when that adorable toothy grin shines it's way at you

"multiple times hyuck, every day actually" you'd respond, so giggly that he swears he's falling in love with you all over again, he's not sure if it's possible quite frankly, considering he thinks the same thought everyday

"that's what you deserve baby, I love you" he'd waddle his way over to you on the sofa, that smirk on his face that tells you everything you need to know— the kiss lands perfectly in the centre of your nose, your face soon hidden away in your hands

"don't get shy on me now baby, you know what I wanna hear" he's already trying to get another look at your pretty eyes and when he successfully gets your hands to slide down your face, places a chaste kiss to your forehead

"I love you too hyuck"

"can't hear you buttercup, you're gonna have to show me that pretty face so I can lip read" he's a little too proud of his words, and when you do let your hands down, his lips are all over yours

JAEMIN-lip gloss kisses:

jaemin is a sucker for those shiny, perfect glossy lips of yours, he's a sucker for you full stop, but your lips are practically a superpower.

now jaemin hates strawberries but that pretty pink lip gloss of yours with a little shimmer and that strawberry scent is his absolute favourite, he swears it makes your eyes pop 10x more it's perfect— you're perfect

he loves showering you with affection, be it hugs or kisses, holding your hand or whispering sweet nothings into your ear, jaemin treats you like an absolute princess and when his princess is all dressed up and so absolutely gorgeous, he can't help but ask for one thing for himself. not that jaemin doesn't love seeing you lounging around casually, he thinks you look gorgeous all the time, but seeing the confidence that oozes from your being when you're ready for a big event has his stomach doing backflips

his arms wrap around your waist quicker than you can twist the tube of your lip gloss shut— really there was no point going through your extensive lip combo routine because you should've known jaemin would eat it all up

"my sweet sweet girl, do you think I could have a kiss?" jaemin likes to get extra affectionate in these moments, clinging to you with a smile that reaches his eyes, just to make sure there's no way you can say no

"but nana my lip gloss" you're always trying to make excuses, really it was just because lip products were starting to get expensive, but you don't mind blowing more money on them if it meant you'd have a love like jaemin

"hmm, I'll buy more for you, just give me a kiss pretty please?"

you only make one more attempt at stalling, you know better that you're not winning this battle

"but nana it'll get all over you"

he shrugs, so unbothered you swear you hear your heartbeat ring in your ears

"I like it like that"

jaemin loves the way you tenderly hold his face before you seal his lips in a kiss, when you pull away his lips are glittery and pink just like yours, but his smile seems to have grown ten fold

"you look so pretty nana, my princess" he nods

"your princess, all yours" before locking your lips against his once again

CHENLE-spiderman kisses:

chenle loves the movie, chenle loves you, to him it just made sense and the spiderman kiss has easily become his favourite way to greet you as he walked through the door.

most days chenle would find you seated on the couch, finishing up a project for work when he'd get home, his hand would wrap under your chin and slightly over your neck with ease, lips locking with yours momentarily

"I missed you" he'd whisper, every time as he pulled away from you, placing his things down to a side and slipping into the empty space beside you. his arm would find its rightful place resting over your shoulder before his lips would brush over yours again

"I missed you too"

the both of you would bask in the warm intimacy of the moment, something between you, only for you, that the both of you would secretly look forward to day in and day out

to chenle that was enough, that daily welcome home kiss was practically routine and it was a routine he'd grown used to, practically to the point where when he'd walk in and you weren't working away at a desk or on the sofa, anywhere he could easily guide your head backwards and press his lips to yours, the rest of his day would be ruined

dramatic, would be the best way to describe a kiss deprived chenle

JISUNG-hand kisses:

to jisung kisses are one of the truest levels of intimacy, they come with philosophical and ethical discussions and debates, prophesies of where the universe might be heading in ten years or why you shouldn't take things in life for granted

jisung liked to think, and he appreciated being able to share and discuss his thoughts with you, to him that seemed like one of the purest forms of love, being unashamed to share even the most wild and crazy theories with each other

he admired your passion, the way you'd get lost between your own thoughts, in your own world as you explained a concept to him, one of the many reasons jisung loved you, and in those moments a press of his lips to the knuckles of your hand, already intertwined with his, seemed perfect, like the cherry on top

"I think it's crazy how we don't realise so much of what goes on around us" you're sharing one of those moments of yours again, when you feel like you'd noticed something that made a big impact on your point of view in life and jisung can't help but let that gummy smile flash over his lips, his thumb rubbing up and down the outer surface of your hand

it's beautiful to him, how your legs are laying over his and how you rest your head against his chest and his fingers rake through your hair while you find yourselves in this moment, for a second jisung stops listening, or at least attentively so, trying to take in this fleeting moment of what he thought was the most important part of loving someone

"sung, you seem out of it?" you'd ask the question so concerned, despite a little guilt that he hadn't been able to listen to you, jisung would smile softly and shake his head

"just thinking about how lucky I am to have you"

and his hand would lift yours, quickly pressing a feathery kiss to your knuckles

"I love you" he'd say, a phrase he didn't say often, scared it would lose its meaning, but one he'd say just enough that you'd known how much you meant to him

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hyuckmov · 7 months

Text

haechan — settle down (rockstar hyuck) | part 2 of 3

wc: 18k (yay!) genre: angst, smut (18+ minors dni), a bit of fluff warnings: wet dreams, jerking off, fingering, oral (f receiving), protected sex, making out, praise kink, strength kink (? he's strong...) crying during sex, dirty talk, aftercare...? petnames (baby, princess), and ... names needs to be read after part 1 i think! a/n: shorter warnings list lmfao anyway.... i....this took me awhile but i really hope u enjoy this and the way it reads. let me know what you think and please be kind :) thank you thank you THANK YOU to every single one of you on my taglist and if you've sent me an ask, reblogged, or left a comment. i could not have finished this without u

haechan almost always knew of the hurt he caused — especially to you.

he knew what he was doing each time he showed up around you at a party, love bites staining his skin and hair messy and wild. he noticed the way you recognised the perfume on him with a crinkle of your nose, or the slight flicker of sadness in your eyes when his phone would vibrate against the bedside table, wandering to the names on his phone. he could feel the way your shoulders tensed when he smiled blankly at you, track your movements as you looked away when he was cozying up with someone else.

and most of all – he knew that beyond that, you couldn't go to him for all your hurt. and that was what would be most painful, the knowledge that everything you had to suffer was unjustified, feelings not tied to reason, because he never made you any promises.

haechan almost always knew of the hurt he caused — and he always hoped that his touch could be a good enough apology.

all throughout rehearsals, when they took the trip to the venue, back to when he had woken up that morning, something had stirred in his chest. he was never nervous before shows, but this time he fiddled with his guitar mindlessly, wandering over to the bar and ordering just a few drinks to hopefully dull the way his heart was racing in his chest, alcohol burning a path down his throat. he picked at the way his hair fell over his eyes, re-doing his makeup before the show with the black eyeliner that he couldn't hold without thinking of you. his bandmates watching him carefully, not knowing what had changed. he wouldn't be able to tell them if they'd asked.

it was only when the girl in the bathroom had stumbled away on shaky feet, leaving one last slick touch on his arm as a goodbye, when all his feelings that had ached in him that day came crashing down in his chest, that crushing weight he couldn't ignore each time he tried to breathe.

you had kissed him — and it felt like a promise.

it was this thought that now stung at him, as he watched the numbers on the screen of the elevator flick higher and higher. he had made his way to your apartment as if on autopilot, driving down streets now too familiar. he always knows the hurt he causes you — and he feels it now, like retribution, because even now he has no right to be angry at you. no right to blame you for his hurt, because while he had never made you promises, in reality you hadn't either.

but the reality was he was here now, knocking on your apartment door.

"y/n?"

there's warm light seeping out under your apartment door, he can see all your shoes on the rack outside. jaemin's not home, but you definitely are.

he knocks again, a bitter taste in his mouth.

"y/n, i know you're home."

his hand curls into a fist, and he hits it against the door, twice. he thinks he can hear something beyond the door, a clink of something like keys, so he raises his voice, the tone of it rough.

"are you happy now?"

mark has told him he gets vindictive when he's hurt or scared, has urged him to think before he speaks.

"does it make you feel like you have the upper hand? standing me up?"

but haechan can't distinguish what he's feeling right now.

"because i don't care at all," he spits, lies he'd never rehearsed, the alcohol mixing with thoughts he didn't even know he had, to inflict the cruelest hurt. "at least i know the girl i fucked didn't feel any different." his voice dips low, cold freezing over each syllable. "i hope you know even if you went, i still would've picked her. it didn't make any difference."

the night is still, and quiet. his words seem to swell in the air, ringing around in his head. he stands in front of the door, head lowered, hand still lingering on cool surface, breaths dragged out of his lungs painfully. he waits for so long, that he wonders if he was speaking to no one at all — if you'd been asleep, if he imagined the sounds beyond the door.

but then there's a soft click, and the door drifts open.

the moment haechan sees you, he feels it like a shot to his chest, because something was terribly wrong.

it's not just the tears running down your cheeks.

your face is blotchy and red, dark circles under your teary eyes, your hair mussed up and tangled. you're wrapped in layers of clothing despite the cool summer night, your body still trembling with cold, and when you speak, your voice is so hoarse and broken that it makes goosebumps break out over his skin — and an achy tone he never wanted to hear from you ever again.

"it didn't make a difference?"

his lips part. he tugs on his jacket, trying to to close it, to pull up his collar a little higher, but it's too late — your eyes are already reading the marks on his skin, drinking in every last detail of him. 5 minutes ago he had wanted nothing more than for you to open the door and see him exactly like this — lipstick smudged lips and fucked out eyes, the smell of fake roses clinging to each fibre of his clothing, the rips in his jeans tugged this way and that.

and all at once he knew — you had wanted to go, and he just accused you of the worst thing. you were going to go, and now he was forcing you to look at him like this. if the trip here made him feel vulnerable and bruised, he knew it must have felt like this for you too on the nights he didn't ask for you — the two of you sharing feelings that you weren't supposed to have, that you couldn't justify.

now haechan sees the way your face crumples, tears gathering on your waterline. you lift your hands to wipe them away, and it's like he can feel the way your chest shakes with wounded sounds and choked sobs, your fingers clenching into fists as you bite your lip to keep from bursting into tears.

"y/n-" he breathes. "are you…is everything —"

"s-so you didn't mean it? when you invited me?" you're trying to steady your breathing. every second that passes where he's watching you fall to pieces in the doorway feels like it's searing into haechan's skin, the heavy feeling in his chest increasing tenfold with guilt. he swallows, as he watches you take a few deep breaths. "i thought… i thought it meant…when you invited m-me you said you weren't making empty promises —"

"i wasn't." he bites his lip, taking a step towards you. "y/n —"

but you back away. "i was going to go, haechan. i was really going to go –"

"i know." he knew now.

" — but i've been sick since yesterday, and it wasn't getting any better, i couldn't leave the house –"

"why didn't you tell me?" he desperately wants to run away, but he knows it's worse for you.

your voice is small. "i don't have your number."

it had slipped his mind. it was something so stupid, something so small – how he never wanted to give you a way to talk to him, or give himself an easy way to access you, didn't want things to be too easy. all of it had slowly built up to that feeling each time he glanced at his phone that night, clutching the lifeless device in his hands.

the last thing he should do, if he ever wanted to see you again, is blame you. he bites back his question of why you didn't ask jaemin for help, wrapping his jacket around his body self-consciously, running a hand through his hair. "i forgot," he whispers. hurt flickers across your face again.

"i d-don't know why i thought this would be different." you wipe at your face, biting your lip again to keep from trembling. "i hoped that maybe, even if i couldn't show up, you'd come here and take care of me. when i heard you outside the door…"

the words have a bitter bite to them, and you spit them out like you hate the taste in your mouth, hate every memory associated with his care.

"i'll take care of you," he pleads, quickly, stepping towards you.

he doesn't know what he expected, if you'd showed up. maybe he'd play for you, and leave with your hand in his. maybe he could have taken you in his car, or in his soft sheets at home. brought you out for a late dinner, sit with you and let you pry him open as you always did. or maybe he'd say nothing at all, and nothing would have changed – he didn't know.

his touch has always been his apology, always his way of reaching you through the only sure thing the both of you wanted from each other. but the look on your face tells him that the brush of his fingertips against your skin is only cruelty.

"you're fucked up if you think i'm letting you take care of me now," your voice is grating, rough on his skin.

"but i-"

"you'll hold me like this? force me to stare at the marks on your chest? breathe the perfume that isn't yours?" your tone is harsh and accusatory. he takes it all. "what were you going to do, if i showed?"

and for once, haechan can't help but be honest. "i don't know," he mumbles, and he sees the words hit you like a strike to your face.

"you knew i wanted more," you whisper. "you knew i wanted to be close to you, but you always…you always –"

"wanted?" he asks, quietly.

"you can't think i still want to know you, after everything. whatever person lies behind all that…" your tears have stopped, your voice unfeeling. the numbness in you mirrors his own. "i want nothing to do with him."

he can't think of anything to say. he reaches out a hand, and for a moment you let his fingers graze your arm, fear and hurt in the way they curl around your wrist, begging you to hold on to him too. you're scaring him, and he doesn't know how to go back, but he knows he deserves everything you're saying to him. deserves the way you shake free of his hold and close the door, his feet stumbling over themselves as he backs away.

you said you didn't want to know him, that you didn't know him at all. but he can't help thinking that's not true, because you knew him enough to know exactly how to hurt him through the walls, through the boy he pretended to be, right through his chest and past his ribcage, right into his aching heart.

—

ever since your fever broke, your life had been quiet.

you go to all your classes. you cut down on coffee by getting sleep at night. you take walks with jaemin around the neighborhood, falling back into old routines. movie nights, and grocery trips. he was coddling you, and you felt it every day — coming home to warm meals, the way he was more forgiving over little disputes. you didn't deserve it, watching him slip out of the front door quietly, camera bag slung over his shoulder.

you didn't deserve it, because you ached to follow.

some part of you was still trapped inside your room, heady and aching, desperately trying to reach him. needing his apology, needing him to recognise the way he hurt you. you couldn't look for answers in your memories, but you played each scene back in your mind like a looping film reel, letting images suffocate you — his jacket falling open, love bites marking his skin, all the times he's slipped from your grasp. and yet, other fragments come back too — the warmth of his hand on yours in the car, the slight tilt of his head as he brought his gaze level with yours, seeking you out when things got too much. his quiet answers in the dark, the slow smile that spread across his face that made you glow, knowing you'd made him happy.

"he got off lightly," you tell jaemin one night, the both of you on the floor by the couch. ice cream and wine drip condensation on the table-top, and the both of you are too heavy with the rush of sugar and alcohol, the clock ticking in the silence of the room as you sit.

"you just want to see him again," he'd replied, quietly. "don't you?"

"i just wish we could have talked." your voice is small. you and haechan never truly talked, except for some nights in the dark, lying in his arms afraid to breathe, afraid of breaking the tenderness that swelled in the room, afraid of turning on the lights to see who you were holding in the shadows.

"and then what? you'd be together?" jaemin glances over at you, and the concern in his eyes makes you shrink back even more. you were supposed to be doing better. everything in your life was right, it was exactly the way it should be — but why did you feel empty?

"then i'd at least have closure," you mumble. "i'm never going to get any answers unless i talk to him."

a brief expression of discomfort crosses jaemin's face, but it's gone when you blink.

"i just don't want you to see him again, and forget all the ways he hurt you."

you don't say a word. both of you knew that it was something too likely to happen.

—

it's dark in haechan's room. the boy liked it shadowy, black-out curtains drawn over the windows, the air cool from air-conditioning, an air humidifier spewing light blue mist in the corner. the boy sitting in bed had his guitar in his lap, picking at the strings quietly, his phone face-up on the bed next to him, recording his ideas. he was swaddled in a large hoodie, swallowing his frame, shorts riding high on his thighs as he curls into himself.

he doesn't look up when mark shuffles in, closing the door behind him quietly, blinking as his eyes adjust to the low light.

"jaemin's outside."

haechan nods. "i heard you." his voice is a soft sound, boyish. mark has heard it enough growing up, that he knows haechan is scared. he knows haechan is waiting for answers, waiting for the verdict.

"he says he'll only continue to work with us if you stop seeing… y/n."

the name trips in his mouth, clumsy. it feels strange to use it, especially around haechan, who knows you more than any of them do, like he's saying something he's not allowed to, a boy using an expletive he doesn't understand. haechan's body tenses when he hears your name in mark's voice, predictable, almost laughable — the slight tightening of his nimble fingers on the neck of the guitar, slip of his fingers on the guitar pick.

"okay." and the boy goes back to playing.

"you'll stop seeing y/n?"

"yeah." mark moves closer to the bed, sees haechan's lower lip caught in his teeth.

"haechan, stop."

the boy shakes his head roughly, plucking at the strings a little harder.

"what happened? what happened between you and y/n?"

"i'll stop seeing her."

"stop acting like i don't know you," mark mumbles, finally sitting down on the bed. haechan stills, as mark pulls the guitar away from him, his hands going limp as he lets mark set it down at the foot of the bed. "i hate it when you do that."

"i'm sorry." a beat, then haechan buries his face in his hands, pulling at his features, before letting his arms drop down to the bed again. "could you…could you at least tell her?"

"tell her what?"

"that jaemin told me to stay away." haechan fiddles with the hem of his shirt, head still lowered. "i…i shouldn't be the one avoiding her. she should be avoiding me."

"is there a difference?"

"yeah." he mumbles his words, plush lips barely forming each syllable. "because i hurt her. i can't hurt her and then ignore her…that's…that's not right."

"so you want to keep seeing her?"

"i just want…" his voice is hollow, and when he looks up at mark — the dim light in the room catching on the features of his face, mark can finally see the way his lips were raw, skin torn and bitten. his eyes, usually sharp and piercing, are puffy and swollen from crying, dazed pupils blinking up at him. "mark, i don't think i've ever hurt someone like this before."

mark wonders what he could have done, but he doesn't ask. "do you want to make it right?"

"i don't know how." he swallows, throat bobbing. "i don't know if i can."

"maybe avoiding her isn't the best thing…" mark starts, putting a hand on haechan's arm, but haechan flinches.

"the band will kill me. jeno will kill me." mark opens his mouth to argue, but already haechan is leaning back against the headboard, head lowered and looking down at his lap. "i'll do it. i won't see her again."

"it'll be fine" mark reassures, softly. "in a few weeks, after a few more people, you'll forget all about her."

neither of them really believed it.

—

as jaemin sits on the couch — jeno sprawled on an armchair with jisung perched on the armrest, mark sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of him, he thinks about how these boys have become his close friends. he fits in with them in a way he never has with his other clients — evenings spent photographing them, understanding them through the lens of his camera. cycling trips with jeno, bringing out mark's competitive streak as they drank in the kitchen, babying jisung and taking care of him when the other bandmates weren't around to do so.

and of course, getting to know haechan — teaching him how to use a camera, chatting with him easily about the city. if jaemin was to be honest, haechan intimidated him a little with how guarded he was, every sentence he spoke to jaemin felt like it'd been turned over a million times in his head, each word careful and poised. he also disappeared for long periods of time, sometimes never there during parties.

now jaemin knew what the time had been spent on. who he'd spent it on.

"we're really sorry." it's mark who speaks up first. jisung nods in agreement, while jeno looks on.

"i don't need you to be sorry," mumbles jaemin. "it's not your fault."

"still…" mark scratches the back of his close-cropped hair tentatively. "he mentioned it."

"what did he say?"

"he didn't tell us everything," jisung says, voice hushed. his hair falls over his eyes as he ducks his head in thought. "mostly just told us to stay away."

"did he sound like he wanted them to be exclusive?"

mark and jisung exchange a glance, but it's jeno's voice that answers just as mark's lips part.

"no." when jisung bites his lip, jeno raises his eyebrows, annoyed. "are you kidding? he just said he fucked her more often, and that we should fuck off."

jisung looked wounded. "he didn't say that."

"but that's what he meant."

"mark?"

jaemin calls out to the boy, bringing him out of his thoughts. mark was staring at his own hands, a frown creasing his face.

"haechan agreed," he says, slowly. your name lingers on the tip of his tongue as he says it, like he's tasting the sound, the unfamiliarity of it in his mouth. "i…i think i might know what's going on with haechan, but it's up to him to explain, not me."

"so he won't see her anymore?"

the words come easily to jaemin. he knew it was the deal he was going to make the moment he texted mark to ask if they could talk. he was willing to lose his growing friendship with the rest of the boys if it could give you peace, if all of you could go back to the way things were.

he think back to how he found you — struggling to head out of the door the previous day, barely able to make it to the door, the fever burning up your brain and making your bones ache. he thinks of coming back home to you after he'd went to the pharmacy to get you medicine, slipping his shoes off at the door and immediately knowing that something had changed, from the tears streaming down your face.

"how did this happen?"

"he came to see me" you mumble, struggling with the sleeves of the thick sweater you were trying to pull your arms through. the moment you straighten, you wince as a dull pain throbbed through your head, hunching over again as stars blinked in your vision.

"haechan?"

he sets down the bag of medicine on the kitchen counter, picking up the thermometer and pointing it at your forehead. the light on the screen blinks red, and his eyebrows furrow, the displeased expression on his face only growing stronger.

"why did you open the door?" he asks, slowly. "i thought we talked about this."

"i thought…." your voice is scratchy, as pressure seems to rise inside your skull, pain that made your eyes tear up. it's laughable that you thought he would take care of you, and instead he ripped you to pieces. tears well up in your eyes again, and your lips part, only to let out a small sob.

he grips onto your arm, gently but firmly, steering you back towards your room. you don't have any strength to fight back, it felt like the temperature in the room was at freezing point even though jaemin was only wearing a thin shirt and shorts, and the ache in your bones made every movement shoot pain through your nerves. even after lying down on your bed, swaddled in blankets, the dim light slightly easing the pain in your head, you were too weak to lift your head, stretching your fingers out over the blanket and crawling towards where jaemin's hand rested on the sheets.

he held your hand and listened to you talk, knowing you needed to let it all out. he didn't judge, he didn't make faces. just listened with his eyes closed as you told him about meeting haechan, the way he pulled you away from everyone else and how you'd followed. he observed you quietly through his lashes as you sniffled, breaths breaking up your words.

the story got harder to tell when you recounted moments of his tenderness — when he'd call you his, when he took care of you, when he'd promise to be harsh with you but never went through with it, the way his face fell when you cried. you stuttered and hesitated through it all, because you didn't know if any of it was real or just imagined.

jaemin knows he could have hurt you further — broken every last illusion, pierced through the image of haechan you had in your head. but he didn't have the heart to, so this was the best he could do — making sure it stopped.

"it's done," mark nods, but he looks unhappy.

jaemin doesn't feel the weight lift from his chest like he thought it would. he feels jisung move to sit next to him, a hand on his shoulder as he observes his face.

"i'm really sorry," he mumbles, lips barely moving.

"it's not your fault," jaemin replies, leaning back against the cushions, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

—

haechan is dreaming again.

except it's more memory than dream, the way you're laid up against the pillows, fingers tangled in his hair as he leaves kisses on your inner thighs. it's so vivid, the way you taste, the twitch of your muscles as you tense around him, the small gasp as he pulls away to sit back on his knees.

"please-" you whimper, needy from being teased. scrabbling, you bring your knees to your chest, hands trembling as you hook them on your thighs, tears smearing your cheeks with a dewy glow. you were trying to keep your voice quiet, small sounds barely escaping your lips as you bit down on them, pleading with him through murmurs and barely coherent words. his shirt on your body crinkled everywhere from how he'd been grabbing at it, the long sleeves falling over your palms. it was straight out of a wet dream, which it now was, as you begged him to fuck you, your wet folds slick with spit and arousal as you bared yourself to him, pleading with him to sink into you.

in memory, he croons. he gives you what you asked for — pressing your weight into the mattress as he pushes into you, feel you pulse around him as he goes in hard and deep, feel your body trembling against his.

but in dream, he can be honest enough with himself to admit that it scares him when you cry. that his stomach twists when he hears you beg, like missing a step on a staircase, a second where he's rushing into nothing — not knowing if he'd made you like this, not knowing if he was hurting you. from the girl shaking against him, clumsy hands finding purchase on his shoulders, and you now — hips rocking into nothing, desperate for him.

"i'm here," he whispers, gently taking your hands and slowly lowering your legs down to the bed. he kisses you until your breathing calms and slows, your hands now on the sides of his face, caressing his cheeks. he likes how you touch him as if you could ever bruise him, loving brushes of your fingertips, urgency making your fingers curl into his skin, hesitant scratches on his shoulders that your hands skitter away from.

in dream, he pushes into you slowly, watching the way your lips part, breath caught in your chest, eyes fluttering closed as you take him in. wet sounds fill the room as he begins to move his hips, your face shyly tucked into his chest, your ankles sweetly hooked against his lower back as you melt together. the feelings in his chest intensifying the pleasure he feels from you wrapped around him. his eyes meet yours as you blink up at him, and it's so real — the way you glow against the sheets of his bed, eyes all soft and sparkling with tenderness.

but then he wakes in the same bed: the feeling of you under him, the crash of his heartbeat in his chest, all of it hanging in the dark, a lingering tattoo on his body.

—

so it's almost like a dream, when he opens the door to the stranger's bedroom, to see you slumped on the floor.

the din from below echoes through the hall, the sounds of the overwhelming crowd seeping into the room and reminding him of why he was here. he'd been looking for a quiet place to be alone — the constant eyes on him making him feel self-conscious and jumpy.

back at the apartment, jeno had said he wasn't being like himself, that he hadn't been himself in a long time, the memory of his laugh ringing in haechan's ears as he climbed upstairs. when has a crowd ever bothered you? when have you ever hated attention?

he didn't know the answers.

now haechan stands in the doorway, not believing his eyes. there was no way you'd known he would be here, alone. you're curled in on yourself on the floor, leaning against the bed with your knees tucked to your chest, eyes shut. your body is still, and for just a while longer he lets himself watch you for just a moment — drink in every single detail he'd missed even if it felt like teasing open his own wounds with fingers caked in salt. the rise and fall of your chest, your hair mussed up and falling over your face, the slope of your shoulders, your arms.

and suddenly he's back in his bed, your weight the only thing he was sure of against his chest, drunk on the soft sounds you made, lips barely forming his name.

you don't know he's here yet. he could walk away, leave you by yourself. but something in him told him he couldn't leave you like this in the middle of a party, barely conscious in a stranger's bedroom. before he knows what he's doing, before he can fathom the consequences, he's kneeling before you, slipping his jacket off his shoulders and draping it over your body. you reek of alcohol, stirring when you feel the weight of the leather on your body, your tongue numb and heavy in your mouth, eyelashes feeling stuck to your cheeks as you struggle to open your eyes.

"y/n?" haechan whispers, choking on the sound of your name.

"haech-" you trail off, fingers coming up to rub your eyes sleepily, the jacket slipping slightly. "haechan." it's the way you say it, like your tongue is too afraid to form the syllables, like something you can't bear to say.

"i-i'm going to find someone," he mumbles, backing away from you, clumsily trying to get to his feet. "you stay here, i'll –"

"don't go-" the words almost get lost from the way you're slurring, lips barely moving, shaking your head as you reach for him again. your fingers slip on the sleeve of his shirt, before curling and holding on tight. "please don't leave."

"i…" pain flickers over his features. he bites his lower lip, body moving towards yours instinctively, your hand crawling up his sleeve and grasping for his arm, fingers digging to the bone as you tremble. but then he feels your breath on his neck, and he pulls away again.

"what happened, y/n? did someone hurt you?" he feels like a hypocrite.

"no," you say, meekly. "i think i just had too much to drink."

"did you come with jaemin?"

you shake your head, nuzzling into him in a way that makes his heart pulse painfully in his chest. "i don't know anyone here."

he still thinks he should get help from any of the girls downstairs. even as you meld yourself a little closer to him, he's almost certain you wouldn't be acting this way if you were sober.

"y/n, i can't. please just let me call jaemin–"

"want you here." you reach for him again, trying to pull him impossibly closer, fitting his body against yours. "don't want jaemin to see me like this."

it dawns on him that besides jaemin, he was the only one you felt comfortable around like this. it wouldn't be the first time he's taken care of you when you were vulnerable or weak, and his body reacts out of habit — pulling you into his arms, his hands gently patting your back as you blink back tears in the crook of his neck. but it still didn't feel right, knowing he was the one who had caused this, and yet he was here holding you.

"let me talk to someone downstairs – i'll see if they can take you home," he murmurs. you bury your face deeper in his neck, shaking your head. "just 5 minutes, okay? i just need 5 minutes —"

"don't want someone to bring me home," you rasp, and his gut twists painfully when i feels your tears damp on his skin. "i don't want to go back to my place. i want to go with you."

"you're going to regret this," he says, softly. to him it's the truth you're not sober enough to see, even if it hurt to tell you. "you don't really want this, y/n."

"is it because you want to find someone else?" your words are soft-edged, lips forming the words carefully, but it pierces him all the same. "is it- is it because you want to bring someone else home?"

"no," he answers, quiet. "i haven't…not in a while."

"so you just don't want to be around me?"

his mind is racing, desperately trying to think of how he could help you, but his mind was coming up with nothing. that same feeling he always had around you — protectiveness intersecting with the ache in his chest everytime your eyes met his, all of it roaring in his ears, louder than the cacophony from any party. for all the times he's claimed he knew what was good for you, he's begun to realise that he has a terrible grasp on how not to hurt you.

"you don't want to be around me," he corrects, but his fate is sealed when you let out a small sob, muffled against his shirt.

and he takes you home.

—

you watch him through your lashes, as he swipes a cotton pad on your face, cleaning off your makeup.

"close your eyes," he mumbles, a slight pout forming on his lips from how hard he was concentrating, trying to be gentle with you. his touches are far too light, and you're sure your makeup is still on your face, but you let your lashes flutter shut anyway, feeling a featherlight brush against your eyelid as he holds it against your eye. dropping the used pad into a small bin, he brings a warm, damp towel up to your face, the material of it soft against your skin.

"can you brush your teeth?" he holds a toothbrush up to your face, but he withdraws it once your hands come up to hold it, completely misjudging the distance and landing on his shoulders instead. "open," he coaxes, parting his own lips so you'd mimic him. he smiles fondly as you open your mouth wide, a hand coming up to hold your face in place. "good girl," he mumbles, and you preen at the praise that shines through your drunken haze, following his instructions to rinse out your mouth.

there's a short pause. having brushed out your hair, removed your makeup and brushed your teeth, the only thing to do next was to get you to bed.

your legs squeeze around his hips, your back against the mirror on his bathroom counter. "haechan," you mumble, tipsiness making you swallow your words. "don't…my clothes…"

"i'll leave them on," he promises, ignoring the way your tight dress looks uncomfortable and unclean to sleep in. "don't worry." of course you don't feel comfortable around him, not after everything.

but for some reason, you're shaking your head, two clumsy hands closing in on one of his and guiding them to your back. "take them off. please–" you add, when he hesitates. "please help me."

"of course," he murmurs, familiarity sparking in his fingertips as they grasp for the zipper, a sense of dejavu in how he drags it down your spine slowly, your back arching slightly. you look at him, drink in the proximity like the first taste of rain after a heatwave — the pretty cut of his eyes, the way his pupils float upwards as he focuses on your back through the mirror. the round tip of his nose, and finally the plushness of his heart-shaped lips. it feels like reprieve, the ache in you finally soothed by the way his breath fans over your cheeks, a gentle balm on an open wound. you lean forward slightly into him as if drawn by a magnetic field, one of your hands coming up to trace the arches of his cupid's bow.

"y/n?" you can feel his lips move, soft like rose petals on your fingertips. "what are you doing?"

"you haven't called me baby all night," you blurt out. "or…or princess." your thumb dips to brush against his lower lip, before he's catching hold of your hand and pulling it away from his face gently.

"i shouldn't," he mumbles, pressing a light kiss to your fingertips before letting go. "i can't."

your dress has gone loose around your body, and you push the sleeves off your shoulders with your hands, letting the fabric drop to your waist. you observe him, watching the way he swallows, throat bobbing when his eyes dart to your chest, lace draped over your curves.

"haechan," you murmur, but then he turns, hands now fumbling with a pile of his clean clothes. he holds out a clean shirt to you, bunching it up at the collar to slip your head through it, but you stop him with a hand on his chest.

"i want that one," you say, softly, pointing to a long sleeved shirt you'd remembered wearing before in the room he'd shared with the boys. something flickers in his eyes, his hands curling into fists before he picks it up. he's putting it over your head, the soft cotton hanging off your shoulders, his hands coming close to your body to guide your arms into the sleeves, until you can't take it anymore.

"haechan, don't you want me?"

his lips part, his hands stilling, slowly unfurling his grasp on you and placing his palms on the counter. "y/n…"

"why aren't you-" you look up at him, biting your lip, your tongue too slow to form the thoughts your mind was racing with. "why haven't you touched me yet? do you not want me like this?"

his heart splinters and fractures. you were so used to it — used to all his touches leading to kisses, kisses leading to him all over your body. "you're drunk." it's the only thing he can say.

"i know what i'm doing," you fire back, but your words lilt and smear together. "ask me anything and i can answer you right now."

but all he does is resume putting your arms through the sleeves, your limbs pliant against him as always, and soon you're completely covered up, and he can breathe a little easier. his strong arms grip your waist, and you're like a ragdoll in his grip as he guides you to stand, the dress at your hips falling, the shirt brushing the top of your thighs.

it gets worse when he sets you down in his bed. in another universe, this might be a moment of bliss for him, something romantic and sweet in the way your body curves against his pillows, sinking down into them and blinking up at him hazily. but guilt still thunders in his chest, his vision split by lightning bolts of fear. you would wake up hating him. he would never stop hurting you. you would never want to see him again.

your arms slide up his, grasping for him. "please," you plead, your voice small. "what did i do wrong? why don't you want to touch me?"

"you didn't do any wrong," he murmurs, as he lets his weight sink into bed next to you, feel you curl up against him. just for a minute he tells himself — just until you fall asleep. your weight on his chest feeling like someone had doused his body with warmth, a comfort that made his eyes prickle with tears. "y/n, you're perfect," he whispers, the words melting into the dark.

"don't say that." he feels tears wet against the soft fabric of his shirt over his chest. "stop saying my name."

"baby," he amends. "sweetheart, go to sleep."

you hum. "haechan."

"don't," he echoes.

"what's wrong?" you mumble, your question heavy with sleep.

he grips onto you tighter, holding you fiercely as tears cloud his vision.

"i'm sorry," he says, his voice cracking. "i'm so so so sorry." when you don't respond, he nuzzles into your hair, freckling wet kiss on your forehead. "i'm sorry," he repeats, long after you've fallen asleep.

—

you wake up to the sound of laughter ringing out against the walls.

the room is as dim as it was last night — dark curtains drawn and the lights turned off. time seemed to have come to a standstill, you couldn't tell if it had been days or weeks or even months since you'd fallen asleep. your body ached, still heavy with sleep while your mind cleared — it had been a while since you've slept this well.

blinking your eyes open, you slowly sit up, feeling sheets warm and soft against your skin. you sit there, dazed, getting your bearings as you survey the unfamiliar room again. your clothes, folded on a small couch next to the window. your jewelry on the bedside table, your phone plugged in to the charger.

the only thing you recognised was the long sleeved shirt unmistakeable on your body, the familiar smell of perfume and body lotion in every fiber of the sheets.

stumbling over to the bathroom, the warm light brings back every memory — the party, the drinks, stumbling upstairs into a room as your consciousness slipped away, and then haechan, haechan, haechan. haechan leading you out of the party, taking you home in his car, taking care of you. your fingers ghost over your forehead, where you swear he kissed you just before you woke up.

you turn off the tap. in the silence, there's another round of giggles, bright like a child's, and then —

"baby, don't move!"

haechan's voice rings lighter than you've ever heard it, and the smile in it is evident. this is a voice without shadows, fondness in every lilt and inflection. with something like urgency, you dry your hands on your shirt, padding out of his room, hesitantly blinking into the sunlit living room.

you almost don't believe your eyes.

haechan is sitting on the couch, eyebrows furrowed in concentration and pink lips stuck out in a pout. sitting on the floor, cross-legged between his knees, was a little girl — her hands busy with a doll, while her own hair was being meticulously braided and arranged by the boy…whose head snaps up the moment he hears the creak of the door.

"you're awake," he blurts out, and the girl looks up.

"hi!" she waves shyly, leaning forward towards you, but whining as the motion tugs on her hair instead. "hyuck! it hurts…"

his eyes finally dart away from yours. "i'm sorry," he murmurs, lightly massaging her scalp with the tips of his fingers.

"you're making it messy —"

"right, sorry." he grabs a sparkly pink hairbrush and combs through her hair gently, beginning to rebraid. the girl goes back to her doll, settling back down and quickly losing interest in you.

his eyes flick up to yours again, the tiniest hint of blush on his cheeks. "did you sleep well?"

you nod, feeling like you'd walked in on something you weren't supposed to.

haechan studies your face, a strand of hair falling from his grasp before he tucks it in diligently. "are you hungover? there were painkillers on the bedside table, i don't know if you saw…"

"i'm fine," you croak out.

"and there's breakfast on the table," he murmurs, ducking his head back down to focus on the impressive french braid he was attempting. he looks back up when he feels you staring, as if fixed to the ground beneath your feet.

"is she…?"

"this is my baby sister," he answers, smiling softly. "sorry, i didn't know she was coming over today. her kindergarten is near here so sometimes i walk her to school." and then, with a nod towards the table, "please eat — i made too many sandwiches."

the girl smiles, mumbling softly to herself. "hyuckie makes the best sandwiches."

you can see 'hyuckie' blush at that, his lips pressed together tightly to keep in his smile as he pokes the little girl's cheek softly, going back to the braid. you cross over to the dining table, feet shuffling slowly, reluctantly tearing your eyes away from the two siblings, watching the fondness in haechan's eyes. quietly pulling out a chair, you sit down and pick up a sandwich, holding it gingerly between your fingers.

a hushed voice breaks the silence, and you turn to see his sister, cupping her lips against haechan's ear whispering so loud that her words fill the room. "is she your friend?" the girl asks, pointing her pinky finger at you, head tilted with curiosity. haechan's head tilts too, but his eyes wander over to yours as he hesitates.

"yes, she's my friend," he says, slowly. "we're…good friends." sliding the hair ties from his wrist, he finally finishes tying off the braid, before giving the girl a gentle pat on the shoulder. "you can play for 5 more minutes okay? hyuckie needs to talk to his friend."

her round eyes blink at you as she slowly gets to her feet, before tottering over to the window, where another pile of dolls lay. haechan clears his throat, before shuffling over to you and sitting down in a chair next to yours.

although he adjusts himself to face you, he keeps his distance – legs drawn in under the chair, hands placed carefully on his knees in a way you'd never seen him do before. it feels like the space between the both of you spans for entire oceans and continents, an invisible force field that holds weight against your limbs, keeping you from leaning in, incapable of even moving your fingertips.

"are you sure you're okay?"

he looks at you — his expression soft like wax melting around a candle wick.

"do you…do you remember how you got here?"

you nod, taking a deep breath. "the party?"

"i'm sorry that you're here like this," he says, quietly. "i didn't know you were going to be there, i wasn't trying to corner you, i swear."

you nod, dazed.

"are you upset with me? for bringing you here?" at the conflict in your expression, he adds on, hurriedly, "i-i know it wasn't the best thing to do. i could've called jaemin, or mark, or anyone downstairs…it's just that i didn't know…i didn't know if it would be okay–"

" — i'm not upset," you cut him off, the pressure easing as you raise a hand jerkily to place it over his. "i believe you. thank you for taking care of me last night."

he exhales slowly, and when he speaks he sounds even more troubled than before. "you…you shouldn't thank me. you shouldn't thank me for anything."

his eyes dart over to his little sister, checking in on her, and the sense that you're intruding on something creeps up on you again.

haechan had been right — there was so much of him you didn't know. you hardly recognised the boy sitting beside you, despite a vague sense of comfort and familiarity in the slightest traces of his expression, the look in his eyes, his thumb absentmindedly stroking yours. it scared you.

you withdraw your hand, pushing your chair a little further from his, the scrape of it dissonant in your ears. "so, uh, i'll just wait downstairs for the taxi if you don't feel comfortable —"

"taxi?" he looks at you, confused.

"i…i should go now, right?"

"i wasn't going to ask you to go," he says, his voice small. "i was…i was hoping we could talk."

"talk?" you echo. after weeks of nothing? "now?"

"i mean, not right now-" he glances over at the clock, wincing. "but can you stay today?"

there's a pause. you don't think you've ever been able to read him — you've spent days second-guessing every emotion you thought he had, the meaning behind each expression, whether he ever told the truth. but something about him like this makes you hesitate, made your breath catch in your throat. all the ways you've tried to learn how to be immune to his words and his touch slowly melting away, because that was your defense against the version of haechan you thought you knew before.

"i'll understand if you say no," he says, quietly. "but i have things i need to say to you. please."

you don't know what to do.

"hyuckie?"

you both turn. haechan's baby sister is waddling over, her fist clenched around her hair ties as the last remnants of the french braid unravel from her head. she sniffles. "it fell."

haechan's eyes dart back to you quickly, before refocusing his attention away. "it's okay-" he soothes, taking the hair ties from her as he swipes the pad of his thumb on her cheek, brushing off the teardrops that have begun to spill from her lashes. his lips jut out into a pout, his head tilting to meet her gaze. "let's just tie it up and go to school, hm?"

"but i want it in a braid…"

"i can't finish it in time," he says, gently, touching the strands of her hair. "i'm sorry. i promise, we'll do it next time, okay?"

her lip wobbles. "but…"

"let me help," you say, suddenly.

he turns, round eyes wide. "what?"

"i'll do her hair. you still need to get her things right?"

he nods, a little dazed. "really?"

"i'll stay," you murmur, and you slip the hair ties from his loose fingers and sling them around your wrist. "i need to talk to you too."

you can feel his eyes on you as he coaxes his sister towards you, the girl shyly hiding her face in your hands as you swiftly braid two pigtails down her back. he still watches you out of the corner of his eye as he packs her bag, noting the way you listen to her babble on about her days at the school, the way you help adjust the straps of her backpack onto her tiny frame.

he looks at you like he's never seen you before. you think you know the feeling.

—

the bed dips under his weight as he sits down.

"hey," you hear him murmur, and you stir. his hair falls over his face, and he's changed out of his clothes, and a pair of thick-rimmed glasses perches on his dainty nose. it's foreign, and new…until he pushes back his hair boyishly with an open palm, flicking his head like a puppy after a swim, and the skip in your heartbeat feels all too familiar in your ribcage.

"did you get her to school?"

he nods. "i got us lunch too. and stopped to get groceries." studying your face, he leans in. "i didn't want to wake you up so soon. do you feel better?"

you hum. the morning now seemed like just a dream — haechan and his sister, the breakfast sandwiches. he'd left to walk her to school, telling you to rest in his bed until he got home. now, late afternoon light seeps into the room through the open door, until haechan gets up to close it, once again sealing the room in cozy darkness.

"may i…?" he lifts up the corner of the covers, and you nod, easing yourself to the side as he gets into bed, leaning up against the headboard, his eyes trained on his lap. you lay on your side, that same feeling — as if you couldn't reach out and touch him, as if he existed in a world of his own without you, slowly settling in your body like a familiar ache.

but then there's a shift — and you can feel his gaze warm on your skin. you blink up at him, his pupils focused on yours, pools of the darkest molten brown sucking you into his world. he wets his lips with his tongue nervously, taking a shuddering breath.

"y/n, i'm really sorry."

your heart squeezes a little in your chest. "for?"

"for what i said that night…when i thought…when you didn't show up." he takes another breath. "and for not trusting you, for going to your place after i...." his fists clench the fabrics of the sheets, twisting it in his hands.

you bite your lip. "haechan —"

" — i'm not done." he swallows, voice dipping low. "you were right. i knew you wanted more, i always knew exactly when i hurt you. but i never tried…i never tried to change anything. i'm sorry." his hands reach towards yours for a second, but he hesitates, dropping them back on his lap.

"what would you have changed?" you ask, softly.

"i could have stopped seeing you," he murmurs.

you smile, sadly. "i'm not convinced that would have hurt any less." that was something you knew for sure.

"and i don't think i could have stopped myself," he admits.

"haechan," his eyes move to yours. "why did you invite me?" his breathing picks up, and you want desperately to comfort him, to curl up on his lap and soothe him, but you knew the both of you were afraid of what would happen if you touched. knew the possibility that you'd try to find answers in skin-on-skin, lips-on-lips, and the possibility that it would all be lost in translation again.

"i'm sorry, –" he looks at you sadly. "i think i was just trying to get you to stay. i…" he chews on his lip, glasses sliding a little lower on his slender nose bridge as his head dips. "i regret what i said, but some of it was true. i don't know what i would have done, and i don't think i was ready for…for what you thought it was."

you nod, cheek rubbing against soft sheets, thinking about what he said. "haechan, i don't regret not going. i only wished i'd done it intentionally."

"yeah?" he whispers. the sound sticks in his throat.

"if you hadn't found me yesterday…would you still have looked for me? talked to me? i'm not hurt that you didn't find me sooner-" you cut in, when you see the guilt on his features, the parting of his lips in apology. "time apart….time apart was good. i needed it to clear my head. i….i couldn't stop myself around you."

he doesn't say anything, for a while. "jaemin came over," he says, slowly. "and he said i couldn't talk to you or he would stop working with the band and it was decided for me."

"he what?"

haechan shakes his head. "i don't blame him. i'm not going to pretend that i couldn't have still talked to you if i really wanted to. i'm selfish enough to do that, i'll admit. i didn't reach out because i didn't know what to say, and i didn't know what i wanted."

"and now?"

he closes his eyes. "time apart was good," he murmurs, echoing your words. "it gave me a chance to go back to a time before."

your breath catches.

" — but i couldn't. i don't think i can take it any longer. i missed you, y/n. i miss you now, even as you're here."

"you miss me?"

something bothered you about it, hearing him say those words. when he'd pulled you away repeatedly in the weeks you've known each other, when he came for you time and time again, was that missing you too? were things different now?

"i miss spending time with you," he says, almost timidly. "not just…not just sex. everything. i know it's selfish…" his eyes blink open, and he pushed his glasses up, avoiding your gaze. "i didn't mean to pressure you to come back. you can forget i said that."

he shakes his head, trying to clear it.

"i just wanted to tell you i'm sorry for hurting you."

you'd never dared hope for a real apology from him. some part of you expected, or even secretly wished, he would find you again after that night, lie through his teeth to win you back. and in the weeks that followed, you took his silence to mean he didn't even care enough to do that.

and now here you were, sitting with him. after days and nights, he's had time to really mean his words — he wasn't himself, which is maybe why you believed he was telling the truth.

you think you know now, why he refused to let you in. why he hadn't wanted to take your first time, something so intimate and romantic that it would have pierced right through the layers he'd built up around himself. why he drew away so many nights when your touch lingered on each others' skin, when you wanted him to stay.

"haechan," you say, quietly. "i need you to understand that i…that i've learned how to be hurt by you. i don't want to go back to how we were before."

he nods, quickly. "of course."

"and…you say you knew i wanted more. so you know that i wanted to be with you…romantically, right?"

"i know." the words are so quiet, you barely catch them.

"if…if i come back, i don't think i want that anymore." you say, gentle, but firm. jaemin was right — you couldn't let yourself forget all the ways he hurt you. "i associate us with too much hurt. i can't trust you with my heart, can you understand that?"

there's silence. he's nodding, but when his lips part, he's wordless.

"haechan?"

"i understand," he murmurs. "i'm…i didn't…" he breaks off, fiddling with the covers, lip caught in his teeth. "whatever happens next will only happen on your terms," he says, softly. "i only want to do what you want to do, okay?"

your brow furrows. "but haechan, if you don't feel comfortable with something –"

"i'm fine as long as you still want to see me," he whispers.

"if you don't want to let me in, i won't push anymore." you realize you truly mean it when you make the offer out loud. even if it hurt to know that you may never see him like this again, you press on, jaemin's advice resurfacing in your mind again. "you don't owe me any more of yourself. if you want it to just be sex, we can do that – but you have to commit to it too. so no more getting jealous, or —"

" – that's not possible."

"you're not making any sense." you should've been hurt, but sitting here now — looking at him, the way he melts into his room, fuzzy at the edges, soft curves of his face, you can't feel any of it. finally, you're beginning to see that he's just as lost as you are. his head is still bowed low, taking in every word you say like a weight he carries upon him.

"it's not possible because you already know me. you know enough of me that i couldn't perform with you in the crowd, can't be myself around you at a party. i can't stand there onstage, do things like eyefuck girls and play the guitar and pretend to be someone else, while feeling your eyes on me. you'd see right through me."

he sounds like he's on the verge of tears, his voice achy and raw. and as you look up at him, tears are smudging on his waterline, his cheeks glistening as he sniffles.

"i said i'd be fine with anything," he breathes shakily, as he starts to cry, sharp inhales punctuating his words. "and i am, i really am. i-i'm not in the position to set terms. it's fine if you don't want to know me, but i can't pretend we're just strangers anymore. i won't be able to."

words you'd said to him — you can't think i still want to know you, after everything.

for a moment, you entertain the idea that you've hurt him too.

"i don't think i can pretend either," you murmur. "i hated it when you pretended like you didn't know me. like you'd never seen me before."

i'm s-sorry, he chokes, but the syllables scattered across his sobs. he claps a hand to his mouth as his breathing speeds up even more, tears wetting his shirt, achy sounds muffled against his palm. and finally you sit up, limbs still clumsy and heavy from sleep, and you wrap your arms around him, and arm slung over his chest, another around his waist, just like you wanted to all this time.

his breath shudders against your palms, warm body against your skin. you bury your face in his neck, breathe in the familiar smell of him that changed no matter who he was or whoever he was pretending to be, until his breathing slows and his sobs come to a shaky stop.

"i missed you too, haechan," you breathe. he shakes his head. "i did-" you insist, but he shakes his head again, a hand coming to touch your arm on his waist, squeezing tight.

"not haechan, donghyuck," he whispers.

"donghyuck," you correct, stroking the side of his cheek lovingly, your fingertip stained with his tears. "i missed you."

"i missed you too." he says it like the words are dangerous, hushed and quiet. "are you…are you really coming back to me?"

"do you think we can be friends?" you ask, tentatively. not lovers, not strangers. this was the only in-between you knew that could do justice to the ways you knew each other, the only way you could see yourself holding on to him now.

he looks at you for a long time, until you forget your question. his nose is tinted pink, his eyes still watery as he drowns in his thoughts.

he swallows. "are you sure?" he asks, softly. "your first time being with someone…and it's not even a real relationship."

"you're doing that thing again," you murmur. "where you tell me what's good for me. how i should do things." you soften when you look up, seeing the guilt in his face, as if he had been caught red-handed. "i'm asking you again," you say, slowly. "do you think we can be friends?"

this time, he nods. "yeah," he murmurs. "friends who…"

you nod too, feeling your cheeks burn, and then you lean in — slotting your lips against his.

for a second, he doesn't kiss you back, and your stomach swoops.

but then his mouth is moving against yours, soft and gentle. a close-lipped kiss, just the feeling of his soft lips on yours, the brush of your noses together, your eyes slowly fluttering shut to focus on the feeling. and even though you'd just agreed — even though you were the one who suggested it, a part of you wondered if you could ever only want to be friends with lee donghyuck.

—

you sit at the dinner table, and haechan's entire body aches with a longing that crests over him like a tidal wave, knocking the breath from his lungs.

he recalls the way he'd felt earlier, walking back across the park from the kindergarten, stopping by the grocery store and wandering the brightly-lit aisles, turning over pasta sauce and soup stock in his hands. the knowledge that you were in his home, sleeping, that he would turn the key in the lock and you would be waiting for him — burned down his throat like alcohol, a bonfire in his stomach. it felt like playing pretend. he was afraid to even drive you back to your apartment, to walk you to your door, to look at you too long in the moments after. and yet here he was, tipsy off the sweetness of being able to come home to you.

after the talk, neither of you had gone much further than kissing.

"i missed you so much," he murmurs – his voice crumpling under the weight of his own words.

"do you want to show me?" your tone is lightly teasing, dipping low as you keep your smile on your face. the warmth coursing through your body has nothing to do with the blankets pooling around your thighs, and everything to do with the boy sitting across from you — doll-like legs with miles of silky skin splayed out over the sheets, back slouching against the headboard, all crumpled in and soft and worn.

if you had gone to the bar weeks ago, let him guide you to this home, to this bed, you might already be familiar with this soft mattress in a whole different way.

neither of you can deny the way your minds wander there still, despite everything. him missing your body framed against his, you craving the sink of his chest, the curve of his waist.

there's silence, as his words register in the boy's head, pain flickering over his features. if he was feeling more like himself, he would pulled you in, caged you under him. tugged at that side of you that was always so pliant and easy for him and watched you unravel under his fingertips. the words are on the tip of his tongue — i'll show you. did you miss me too? kiss me. stay with me.

instead, his fingers withdraw, and gently touch the soft cotton of his shirt's hem, warm light flickering in his eyes. "not like this," he murmurs quietly. "not…not now."

you let out a breath, tension dissipating. "yeah," you'd murmured. "you're right."

you'd gone to take a shower while he prepared dinner. there was something terribly domestic about all of it — you padding into the living room again, each fiber of your being smelling so much like him. the way he turned from where he stood guarding the soup bubbling on the stove to see you in one of his shirts, a towel draped over your shoulders. the feelings he hadn't learned to pin down, hadn't had the time to sort, intensified in his chest, an ache lodged inside him.

friends. he'd introduced you to his sister as his friend, watched you braid her hair and laugh with her softly, heard your sweet voice wishing her good luck with school. the nights he'd spent with you by his side — talking about the band, about his tattoos. asking about how he did during the show, seeking your praise, wanting to know so badly how he appeared in your eyes. the way you somehow reached right through him and made him listen, made him stop. was that friendship?

now with all the plates cleared and washed, the sounds of your clothes tumbling in his washing machine in the background, the smell of black nail polish prickled his nose as you leaned over. your fingers brushing his, holding them in place.

"should i make it a little messy?" your voice is light.

"it's usually messy because i get my sister to do it," he tells you, softly. "you don't have to mimic how it looks."

you nod, a small smile on your face as you dip the brush back in the bottle. there's silence, for a while, as he watches you, studying the way you look with your head bowed, feeling each careful touch of your fingers, and then —

"do you want to talk about rules now?"

you look up at him just briefly before going back to the task. he swallows.

"sure."

another pause. and then quietly, "you can't get jealous anymore, you know that right?"

"i know," he murmurs. "you told me to stop before…but i didn't. i'm sorry."

you nod. "you can't be possessive of me, either."

he hesitates. "so…no marking?"

slowly, you let go of his left hand. "you can still leave hickeys and bruises," you mumble. "just don't…don't call me yours you know?"

he didn't know if he could do that. "okay," he says, softly. "i'll try." and then, slowly and carefully, he asks, "are you going to keep coming to our shows?"

the slide drag of the brush on his nail stops. "do you want me to?"

he bites his lip. "i want you there," he says, slowly. "but i don't know if i'll be okay with having you in the crowd."

"oh."

"maybe you can watch from backstage. or the wings. i want you to," he adds, when you look troubled. "please."

"are we still a secret?"

his lips part. he wanted to say yes — but it was the way you'd asked it, like it was something you feared, that made him hesitate.

"because," you continue. "it didn't feel good, keeping it from jaemin. and as i said, i hated it when you pretended we were strangers."

he felt your hands leave his, capping the bottle of nail polish as you leaned back in your chair, tucking your knees to your chest. he keeps his hands splayed on the table, taking a deep breath.

"no more secrets," he agrees. "and stop going to those parties, y/n. if you want to see me, just tell me."

you raise your eyebrows. "we're not exclusive," you point out, slowly. "i don't go to the parties just for you. haechan, if you don't think you can do this…"

"i can," he says, hurriedly. "i'm sorry. if i see you at a party…i'll say you're my friend. i'm sorry, it's just that i…i'm just…."

"it's okay." giving him a small smile, you get to your feet, shuffling over to the kitchen. you don't hear him come closer as you fill up a glass of water on the kitchen, only know of his presence as his hand touches your shoulder carefully.

"don't go," he murmurs. his arms slide around your body, gently pulling you towards him, and you turn slightly so you can see his face.

"i'm still here," you respond, softly.

but he shakes his head. "don't go."

you turn around in his arms and your lips brush, his own parting against yours, seeking permission. all the time he wonders when he'll stop kissing you like he's swearing an oath — devoted in the way he wraps his lips around yours, patient and true in the way his tongue moves against yours, and even now, something loving in the way he murmurs your name into the cavern of your mouth. his hands move carefully on your skin, nail polish still drying on his fingertips, and if either of you question the way you kiss, you keep it to yourselves.

—

it's different, watching haechan perform, when he's not performing for you.

you saw the way his eyes flitted through the crowd, making and breaking eye contact so fast it was hard to keep track of, each twitch of his expression rehearsed and calculated. a teasing part of his lips, sinful face fluttery and slack as the music crashed all around him, like he could physically feel it. he was right — you didn't see him the same. you knew it was the performance, that he was really the one trying to please the crowd, riding off the pleasure of attention. but despite seeing through it as he had said, it still had you feeling tightly wound inside, pressure building up inside you, a craving for his touch intensifying with each time his hips shifted against his guitar.

and even worse was the way your heartbeat would trip over itself every time haechan's eyes flickered over to you. never during a song, but in the moments between — mark's voice speaking through the mic, the rest of the boys checking on their instruments or interacting with the crowd. he would look over at you briefly, almost shyly, his heart-shaped lips creasing into a smile.

"friends?"

the moment you'd arrived home, you had pleaded with jaemin not to be upset with haechan, but it turned out you didn't need to. haechan had left a message the night of the party, and when you'd walked in looking more well rested and collected than you'd had in days, jaemin knew that you had been safe. you'd reassured him too, when he asked if keeping you from him only made things worse. both of you had needed that time to come to this conclusion. only time would tell if it was the right one.

"so you're going to be friends with benefits?" jaemin raised his eyebrows. "was this his idea or yours?"

"mine," you mumble. feeling the need to defend yourself, you raise your voice just slightly. "i just think that…i want to keep seeing him, and i want to get to know him…but i don't want him in that way. anymore," you add, when jaemin bites his lip.

"did you really lose feelings, or are you just not ready?" he asks, quietly.

you force a laugh out of your chest. "you think i'd still have feelings for someone who hurt me that much?" you try to say it sarcastically, but you don't have the heart to. the words have no bite, and instead truth echoes in the spaces between.

"that's not the worst thing in the world, y/n." his voice is steady, and calm. "it's okay to take your time. if you remember that lying to yourself will only hurt more."

but there are things to soothe the ache.

"did you like the show?"

haechan roughly tugs off his jacket, letting it slump off his shoulders and onto the floor. the moment the last song ended he'd rushed off stage and right to you, eyes blazing under his heavy makeup, the both of you stumbling into one of the small storerooms backstage.

a single small lightbulb barely illuminates the small space, bathing you in warm light and shadow. shelves of boxes line most of the walls, except for a sliver of space that currently presses against your back, your fingers touching the cold surface.

"it was good," you murmur.

"yeah?"

he's still hungry for more. you can see it in his eyes — for all his good girls and you're perfect, you knew he craved to be adored too.

"you were right," you say, softly. "it feels different, watching as your friend."

his smile falters.

"i…i like it more," you continue. "being in the wings…makes me want to get your attention."

"you have my attention now, princess," he points out. he touches a hand to your waist.

it's almost scary, how you slip back into old patterns. a heady rush filling your senses, slowly dragging you under. this is why i couldn't stop, you think, as he leans in ever closer, his eyes glazed over as his gaze slides to your lips.

there's a beat.

"i forgot to ask," he mumbles. "no possessiveness right?"

your mind clears, just a bit. you nod, breathlessly.

"what else?" he asks. looking at you, timidly, he asks. "can i…are pet names okay? can i still call you baby?"

"baby's fine," you whisper.

"princess?"

"hmm?"

"no," he smiles fondly at you. "i was asking if calling you princess was okay."

you want to bury your face in your hands. or his chest. "princess is fine."

his smile grows wider, before he suddenly turns serious again. "are we starting anew?" he asks, hesitantly. "can i…can i bring up things from before? or are we pretending that this is our first time…"

"no more pretending," you murmur, feeling like a hypocrite. "why? did you want to bring up something?"

"kind of," he nods towards the door. "just thought you're going to love this," he says, slyly. "hearing stage crew and bandmates walking by, knowing that at any point someone could hear us, someone could come in…"

and now you do bury your face in your hands, and when he reaches around to hug you, you lean against his chest, feeling his laugh vibrate against you, feeling you with warmth.

"it's okay," he murmurs, as his hands slide down to squeeze your waist. "i won't play with them this time, baby. today's all about you, hm?"

his hands falter, perhaps realizing the words were too tender, a little too loving for what you both claimed this would be.

"lets try not to do anything…romantic?" you mumble.

you regret the words as soon as you say them, your teeth biting into your lip sharply.

haechan's face has shuttered down. you can't read his expression, as he nods, taking your hands in his and kissing them.

"please." you look at him, this time taking the dive, feeling yourself free-falling towards that familiar desire, letting the current swallow you whole. "i need you."

in spite of everything, haechan's lips are as gentle as they've always been.

his lips brush yours, once, twice, before he locks in his kiss, hands trembling slightly as he touches the side of your face, cups you in his palms. you want to ask him what's wrong, pulling away slightly, but he makes a wounded sound from the back of his throat, pressing you against the wall, his head dipping to kiss you fiercely. his tongue slides against yours, and he groans low against your lips.

your hands fumble on his shirt, skimming his broad shoulders, strong arms. he pants into your mouth when your drag your nails down his chest, breaking away. tugging his shirt roughly over his head, he grabs your hands and places them on his chest before leaning in to kiss you again, this time working his way down your neck, his wet kisses making your body shudder as you cling onto him for support.

"please," you murmur, wondering why he was staying so silent. "please-"

but he shakes his head, fingers tracing your jaw, tilting your head up so he lap his tongue over a newly formed bruise. the room is silent save for the sound of his lips, but you crave his voice, his words guiding you through everything, the lilting cadence of it.

"haechan-" a foreign feeling spikes in your stomach as he ignores you, continuing to kiss his way down to your collarbones, fingers tugging your collar wide open. it felt like he wasn't there at all.

he breathes heavy against your skin as he curls his hands around your hips, holding on tight. still he doesn't say a word, or even make a sound, as his caress the back of your thighs.

"stop-" you blurt out. roughly, you take his hands in yours, gripping them by the wrists.

he lifts his head.

"haechan," you start, but he just looks at you. your heart squeezes painfully in your chest.

"haechan, you're scaring me." your voice is panicked and tight, the tension so overwhelming that tears begin to blur your vision, your chest rising and falling faster.

"baby?" he asks, alarmed. "what's wrong?"

"please talk to me," you beg, wiping away the tears on your cheek. the ache has soothed slightly at his voice, but you need more. "why…why aren't you talking? you always…you always used to-"

"i'm sorry," he whispers, pulling your body into his, wrapping his bare arms around you. "i'm here," he soothes, in your ear. "i'm here," he mumbles again, and again, until your breathing calms down.

"i'm sorry," he repeats, kissing you softly. "i'm here now, baby, okay?"

you nod, and now you guide his hands to your thighs, feel the way his breathing hitches.

"can i…?"

"please," you say, breathlessly, and his hand cups your warm core.

"fuck," he blurts out. you were so warm, the seat of your panties completely soaked through. he slides them to the side with nimble fingers, inhaling sharply as he strokes your folds.

"how are you so wet? fuck-"

"take them off," you plead, the fabric sticking uncomfortably to your skin. immediately, he tugs your panties and skirt down roughly, almost frustrated, barely waiting for you to step out of them before encouraging you to spread your legs wider as he strokes you, fingers dipping to catch at your entrance, your swollen clit.

"so fucking wet," he marvels, groaning slightly as he swipes his fingers softly .

"from watching you perform," you say, softly.

the words send pleasure thrumming low in his navel. "yeah?" he murmurs, eyes meeting yours.

slowly, he drops to his knees, and suddenly you feel hypersensitive — his breath on your thighs, hands gripping you tightly. he suckles a kiss close to your core, and you whine, loudly, the sound too loud in the small space.

he looks up at you, sultry eyes framed in dark eyeliner. "let me hear you, baby," he coaxes, easing your legs open. he sticks out the tip of his tongue, and gives your clit a gentle flick, your hips bucking into his face before you can stop yourself. "i've been dreaming about this," he sighs, before he closes in and suckles on your clit.

he lapped at you like all he'd done in your days apart was think about how best to do it — alternating between suckling on your clit, licking your folds with his tongue wide and flat, and prodding at your entrance. one hand keeping you pressed against the wall, his other slips around your entrance, sliding in one long finger, the way your walls suck him in making him moan, vibrations sending another wave of pleasure through you. you can feel the jut of his finger joints, the pad of his finger curling against your walls, while his tongue focuses on your clit, drawing shapes and letters expertly.

you slump further against the wall, the pleasure making your legs shake, unable to hold yourself up, your hands tangled in his hair, knotting them around your fingers.

"i can't stand-" you're cut off by a moan, as he bites into your thigh, licking up the wetness that stains them, a mix of your arousal and his saliva. "please," you wish you were on a bed, wish both of you had had more patience to go somewhere and do this right, feel the whole weight of his body on yours.

"cum," he pants, sucking on your clit with his plush lips as he coaxes another finger into your warm, now mimicking a vibrating motion with his hand as he pushes in hard and fast. he doesn't break away even as he moans out, now curling his fingers languidly against your walls. "fuck, baby, i need you to cum now because i can't wait any longer-"

his tongue presses onto your clit, and the pressure pushes you overboard. his hand the only thing keeping you upright, pushing roughly into you, he eats you out until your orgasm is over, kitten licking your clit as his head moves this way and that. you open your eyes and see him staring right at you, desire pulsing in his pupils, eyes blown out and dark.

"good?" he breathes, both hands now gripping you tight. you nod, swallowing and gasping. his face is smeared with you, mouth and nose shining and glossy. he licks around his lips, mouth hanging open as his eyes glint.

"more?" he asks, and you nod, gasping, falling to your knees. now, you're finally able to touch him, as your body crashes into his, causing him to nearly tip over from how he kneels, sitting back on his ankles to draw you into him. you kiss him deeply, letting his lips wrap around your tongue just the way you loved it, feel his hum vibrate against your own chest.

his hands ghost under your shirt, and you help him pull it off, his hands cupping your breasts with his familiar touch, sucking kisses down your cleavage as you gasp for air. his hands roam your body indulgently, as if he was afraid you'd dissolve if he wasn't mapping your skin with his palms, his tongue, his lips. one hand trailing up and down your back, unclasping your bra, while the other squeezes the back of your thighs, resting his hand on your ass.

he suckles on your nipples like he had all the time in the world, as if you weren't in a cramped store room feeling as if you were about to explode from his touch alone. gentle tongue drawing circles around the bud, eyes staring up at yours with devotion. your hips move against his, and his eyes flutter shut as he sighs, his hips starting to grind up against you as well.

"turn around," he mumbles. "now, princess."

"i want to see you," you protest, hands gripping onto his arms as he slowly walks forward on his knees, pushing you towards the wall.

"i'm sorry, baby-" he kisses you, placatory and sweet. "we'll go again in my bedroom later, okay? need you like this now."

you let him maneuver you until you're facing the wall, legs spread apart as he kneels in between. trying to soothe you, he rubs a hand over your stomach, reminding you of his presence the entire time he rids himself of his jeans and underwear, rolling on a condom, tension building with every small sound, until you can feel something thick and heavy press between your legs.

"haechan-" you pant, your back arching just slightly as you lean towards the wall for support, feeling his hand squeeze your hip.

"i know," he mumbles, making slight shushing sounds as he eases himself against you. "i know, baby."

even though he was behind you, you knew the face he would make as you felt his tip slowly push past your entrance, the way his eyebrows would float upwards as his eyes went unfocused, lips parting in a lovely 'ah- ah' that he tried hard to contain behind hisses and bitten lips. part of you still wants to see it, but all thoughts are lost as he fully sheaths himself into you, feeling him deep inside from the position. his hand on your hip creeps over to your navel, and he pushes gently over where he was buried inside you, the pressure somehow intensifying as you feel full from all sides.

slowly, his body presses you further into the wall, and you gasp as the cool surface brushes your chest. he kisses the nape of your neck, and your body trembles, shifting against him and whining as you clench around him from sensitivity. behind you, haechan mumbles out a string of curses, hips jolting forward unsteadily before he stops himself.

"please move," you whisper, and he moans, finally thrusting into you. he finds a rhythm that's slow and deep, feeling full and stretched out each time you throb around him. a particularly harsh thrust has you whining, your hips tilting towards the wall, trying to get away, but suddenly the solid weight of his body presses against you ever harsher as he rolls his hips, his chest pressed to your back. he feels stronger, and sturdier than he ever did before, as a hand creeps down to your clit and begins to rub slow and lazy circles, his body attuned to yours. you jolt away from the simulation, ass suddenly jolting back against his length, making you cry out again, sandwiched between pleasure.

"don't run from it," he coaxes. "just take it, hm?"

you had nowhere to go as he fucks himself into you, wet sounds filling the small space, and you're sure the floor is wet with your arousal, can feel your next climax approaching fast, making you forget about the ache in your knees and in the way your head pressed against the hard wall. you begin to shake in his hold, trying to fuck yourself back on his cock while he bullies your clit relentlessly, but once again his chest presses into you, strong arms holding you firmly in place as he overflows your body with pleasure, a hand slowly grasping yours and squeezing.

"i missed you, baby," he says, quietly, voice surprisingly steady despite the way he was ramming into you. "i really missed you." his lips brush the shell of your ear.

you cum unexpectedly, crying out, squeezing tight around him as all the muscles in your body tense. your hand squeezes tight around his as the other rubs quick circles on your clit, working you through your orgasm. you can feel him still behind you as he cums too, whining in a pitch and tone you'd never heard from him before, desperate and achy as you clench around him again from the sound, so sensual that it rekindles a fire inside you despite the soreness in all your limbs.

your weak hands fumble against him, scrabbling against his strong grip. he pulls out with a hiss, helping you turn around to face him. in the semi-darkness, you can see the concern pooling in his eyes, bright and scared.

"was it too rough?" he asks, breathlessly. his hands skim your frame, pulling you onto his lap.

you shake your head, nuzzling into him. you're torn between watching that silvery glow in his eyes, makeup smudged around all his corners, and burying yourself deep inside his chest until you can feel his heartbeat on your cheek.

"baby? are you alright?" he rubs gentle circles on your back, as you nod. "use your words, please," he says, softly.

"you got stronger," you blurt out.

"did i hurt you?" he moves against you, something protective in the way he holds you that makes your body sing with warmth.

"no," you say shyly. "i loved it."

you lift your head just quick enough to catch the way his face crumples. before you can ask, he leans in and he's kissing you again — soft, gentle, sweet and almost shy. when you part, he looks dazed, eyes drifting down to your lips and wandering back up to your eyes.

"you deserve better," he says, quietly.

he looks down, at the way you're sitting in his lap, and then tilts his head sharply to look around the store room, as if he meant you deserved better than this for your first time back with him. as if this was about sex at all.

you take a deep breath, and shake your head. "haechan, you're exactly what i deserve."

the name rings out in the space. it seems to ground him, and he shakes his head to clear it, slowly untangling himself from you as he gets ready to help you up.

you swallow. "take me home," you tell him. "take care of me."

he does exactly as you say.

—

attention simmers on your skin, a palpable heat you're unable to shake.

girls circle the kitchen island like sharks, eyes glinting under the fluorescent lights, but they're never able to come close as it's so clear haechan's focus is entirely on you. haechan's back is turned to the party as he sits on the counter, long legs spilling over and the muscles in his thick thighs accentuated by the way he sits, denim stretched tight and each gaping hole making you doubt your decision to come to the party here, instead of going over to his home.

it was his party, and he should go. the fans would be upset if he didn't at least show. now you were seriously regretting it, as you ducked your head to avoid the glare of another crowd as they passed by, while haechan knocked back another drink.

he had been alight with energy ever since the show ended — agreeing amiably when you suggested going to the party, his smile only wavering when you reminded him he couldn't get jealous. and while your eyes wandered around the party, drinking in the scenes you hadn't seen in awhile, he was doing everything in his power to keep your attention on him, camera strap hanging from his neck as he clicked through the photos, pointing out the parts where jaemin had helped him, explaining the stories behind the pictures.

"i didn't know you were into photography." it's a stupid statement, that you want to retract immediately. of course you didn't – you didn't know much about him at all. but it makes him smile a little proudly, clicking on the dial to speed through the photos.

"yeah well, i've never taken a photo of you." he mumbles, scratching the nape of his neck. "i know for sure because when we…you know…when we weren't seeing each other, and i missed you…" his cheeks are burning up, his mouth barely moving as he tries to fumble through the rest of the sentence, plush lips swallowing his words. "i couldn't find any photos of you. on my camera or in my phone or…" he trails off.

your heart thrums harder in your chest. "yeah?"

"do…do you have photos of me?" he asks. timidly, softly. his eyes trained on his camera, unseeing, breath held in his chest waiting for your answer.

"of course i do," you murmur. you hope he can hear the smile in your voice, know that it's for him. "rockstar."

his fingers twitch, and he looks up at you, a searing intensity in his eyes that wasn't there before, flames licking at your cheeks as you hold his gaze, a warmth that sparks down your spine like fireworks. the sounds of the party fade away, sealing you in the vacuum of his attention.

"y/n," his voice drops an octave, all the softness drained out of it.

"haechan?"

"let me take a photo of you," he murmurs. "please."

"now?"

"no, not now," he says, slowly. "you know what i mean, princess."

but you never get to clarify, because someone taps you lightly on the shoulder. haechan's eyes flicker behind you, all the intensity faded out, and it feels like your lungs fill with air again as you turn to see jisung, holding two cups in his hands, one of which he's holding out to you.

you're torn between crushing guilt, and relief that he doesn't hate you.

"j-jisung," you splutter. "jisung, hi."

"hi, y/n." he smiles, nudging the cup towards you again, and you take it. almost against your will, your eyes dart over to haechan, but his face is impassive and neutral, camera laying forgotten on his lap as he turns quickly to survey the party behind him. was he trying to offer you privacy, or was he upset?

you sip from the drink, trying not to make a face at the overwhelming sweetness that floods your tastebuds. the boy had barely put any alcohol in it. your hand almost inches towards the cup haechan made for you, wanting to balance out the taste, before you stop yourself.

you didn't want to hurt his feelings again.

"it's been a while," you say, sheepishly. "and again, i'm really sorry about last time."

"it's okay," he says, cheerfully. "haechan already apologised. besides, you can make it up to me on our date."

jisung's words have a physical effect on haechan. you feel him tense up behind you, body going stiff as he turns back to watch you, eyes trained on the side of your face.

"you still owe me a date." you don't know if it's determination, or sheer recklessness, that inspired jisung to say this to you as you stood in the kitchen with haechan just inches away, the side of his thigh still brushing your waist. "are you free tomorrow night?"

you try your best not to look at haechan. he had no right to care, you didn't owe him anything. you didn't know what you wanted to see on his face either way — whether his jealousy would make you angry, whether his sadness would hurt you instead.

"i am," you agree, hesitantly, and jisung's close-lipped smile blooms.

—

"you know there are other boys out there right? that there's a world beyond the band?"

"shut up, jaemin," you mumble, checking your reflection in the dressing room mirror one last time.

"this is good for you." his tone has changed, as he leans against the locked door. "jisung is nice. i hope it works out."

tonight's show had been different. jaemin had reluctantly confirmed that it wasn't just your imagination — the way haechan was quieter throughout, more self-conscious in his performance, eyes barely scanning the crowd, taking longer glances at you throughout the show. jisung's confidence, on the other hand, poured off him in waves, his jacket unzipped, gums showing as he smiled wide.

"i know." you sling your bag across your body, adjusting your skirt, as you turn to face him, taking a deep breath. "i'm really giving him a chance, jaemin. i'm…i'm taking this seriously, even if you don't believe me." it wasn't a lie. you barely knew anything about jisung, and jisung barely knew anything about you — but he was always sincere and sweet, quietly brave under his shyness. you couldn't forget the way he looked at you even with haechan by your side. it made you want to give him a chance too.

"i believe you," he reassures. "good luck, okay?" the door unlatches with a small click, and he gives you one last wave before heading out into the corridor.

your eyes dart back to your reflection one last time before you turn back, satisfied with your appearance, and start towards the door. you barely take a step before there's a creak, and you think it's jaemin coming back, or perhaps jisung, wondering why you took so long.

but of course, things are never easy.

a familiar face enters the room, pushing the door open wide. he doesn't bother to close it, just takes you in for a second — eyes sweeping your frame, taking in your jewelry, the hints of makeup on your skin, your clothes, your neat hair. dejavu crawls over your skin, remembering the first time you'd met jisung, the way haechan had cornered you in the dressing room after, too. you tense your shoulders, preparing for the fight.

"you look nice," he says, quietly.

your lips part. "haechan-"

but before you can speak, he's blurting out his next words. "j-jisung's going to love it," he stammers out, shadows flickering in his gaze as he swallows, throat bobbing. "i… i just came here to say good luck." at your surprised expression, his lips curve up into a sad smile. "that…that's what friends do, right?"

"yeah." your hands grip onto the sling of your bag tightly, afraid of what your hands would do if you let go.

"i'm going to go now," he mumbles. "i…have fun, y/n."

there isn't a trace of sarcasm in his tone, his eyes soft and fond. he leaves before you can say another word, not closing the door behind him. you can hear his boots all the way down the corridor, can hear him disappear up the stairs.

you try not to think about his voice, as you take the back exit out of the venue, see jisung standing in the warm summer night, smiling under a streetlight. try not to dwell on the fact that haechan might have actually wished the best for you – no more layers of pretense under pretense, no more feelings without reason.

it's easier said than done.

—

two hours pass, your food gone from your plates, only the dregs of your drinks left in their glasses, before jisung finally clears his throat.

"this isn't working out, is it?"

"i'm sorry," you say, biting your lip. you'd walked to see a movie, something jisung had picked out, but had been mind-numbingly dull to you. you settled to watch his reactions instead, the way his hands flew over his eyes at the more intense scenes, the way he bit down on his fingers when the tension spiked. it was cute, but less so when he started asking you questions about the movie, and you had to admit you didn't remember any part of the plot past the first 20 minutes.

late night dinner hadn't been better, each topic running itself to the ground quickly, your opinions and lack of opinions causing each conversation to crash to an uncomfortable halt. good things take time, had been jaemin's text to you when you asked for help. you were sure that jisung and you weren't acting like your true selves, the prospect of the date altering the way you talked and responded to each other, until you'd finally come to the conclusion that perhaps you just weren't compatible.

"i really thought this would work out," jisung says, a tinge of sadness coloring his words.

"i wanted it to," you confess. selfishly, you had almost been excited at the prospect of things working out with jisung — needing confirmation that you could still feel for others. excited for the date leading to the next, to fall in love with surety.

excited to find the first relationship, the first 'you and i' that haechan seemed to think you deserved.

"it's okay," jisung reaches out, pats your hand clumsily, shyly, as if surprised that reaching towards you meant he actually got to touch you "i didn't know much about you when i asked you out, anyway. just thought you were really pretty." he looks mortified again, and it makes you laugh — everything about him still endearing.

"do you want to just be friends?" you ask, gently.

it's like a weight lifts from the conversation, and he sighs, relieved. "yeah," he echoes. "friends."

the silence that follows is a lot more peaceful. jisung slumps slightly in his seat, like the tension has left his body. his deep voice somehow still manages to sound timid when he speaks up next.

"since we're friends…"

you nod, encouragingly, taking a last sip of your drink.

"can i ask…do you like haechan?"

you nearly choke. jisung was looking at you carefully, although he smiled at the expression on your face.

"a-are you sure you want to talk about this?' you stammer.

he shrugs, but there's something unreadable in his expression. "i'll always be curious about it, and i guess this is my chance to ask."

you don't have the heart to answer him directly.

"i…i used to," you say, slowly. "but that was when i didn't know him."

"know him?" he asks, confused.

you nod. "yeah. i didn't really know him as a person….just…knew the performance, i guess."

jisung still looks confused, but he nods along. "well, do you know him now?"

you think of the sunlight in his living room. the faint dimple on his cheek as he showed you a photo of his sister running towards the camera, her face alight as she called out for her big brother. his arms around you in the kitchen, as he asked you to stay. the slope of his neck as he turns towards you at the end of a song — the fading sound of his guitar as his eyes sought yours.

"maybe," you say, softly.

"and?" jisung prompts. "could you like him now?"

you don't answer him aloud, but your unspoken words ring in your head.

—

it's different this time, haechan tells himself, as he grips his phone in his hands.

it's different this time, because he knew where you were. he knew why you weren't calling.

he slumps back against his bed, his body heavy with alcohol but his mind racing wild, each thought outpacing the next.

the apartment was silent and empty. both jeno and mark were gone for the night. haechan hadn't bothered to go to the party, knowing that he would feel jisung's absence like a pain lodged in his ribs. he wonders if jisung will bring you home, here, whether you'd let him, even if he knew jisung wasn't the type of boy to go further than hand-holding on the first date. he thinks of it anyway — of hearing your sounds through his bedroom wall. whether it would make you needier to know haechan was listening.

he feels like a loser. he's never felt more uncomfortable in his own skin, more unclean, more ashamed. but then again, there's no one around to know, as he lets his mind wander a little farther, away from you and jisung, away from his phone, sinking deep into the last time he'd touched your skin, images and sensations jumping out eagerly at him when he closed his eyes. flicks through moments that caused a heat to lick down his spine, the familiar hum of pleasure buzzing low in his navel — your legs on his shoulders, your hands in his hair. your taste, the patterns he would draw on your body so you'd shake just the way he liked, the spot on your neck he could kitten-lick to feel you tense up all around him.

that night, even after he'd fucked you in the store room, you had been insatiable.

he'd tried to touch you like the other girls he used to play with — never speaking much, preferring to use his mouth for other things, let their own imaginations run wild with what he could be thinking behind his hooded eyes. he'd taken you with your face turned away from him, pleasure without intimacy, sucking bruises as a keepsake for you after the night ended, not as if you were his to keep or to lose.

let's try not to do anything romantic.

but then you'd begged him to talk to you. told him to take you home. he'd hated it — hated the way you folded for him, like someone had given him powers he couldn't help abuse. do you know how tender this is for me? he'd wanted to ask, as he was touching you again in his sheets back home, racing to meet your every demand before you asked for it.

your legs parted for him as he entered you, trying to keep his eyes open through the pleasure to watch your every expression, the look he'd been dying to see — your eyelashes fluttering, lips parted silently, the sharp gasp as he found your soft spot, your hands scrabbling against his skin. he held your gaze even as he let you wrap your legs around his waist, ankles locked in a sweetheart's cross behind him as he pushed your legs even higher, letting him in deeper. he'd never imagined himself with anyone like this before — a position so full of love and closeness, feeling your body and ripple against his, leaning in to kiss your lips softly, kiss away your desperation.

he'd almost gone crazy when you found your voice amidst all the pleasure.

"donghyuck," you'd breathed, saying the name like a prayer. "feels so good."

he had stilled, slowing to a stop, even though he was painfully hard in you. his heart racing in his chest, pounding so hard he felt like it was about to burst out of his chest.

"you," you mumbled, slowly grinding your hips against him. "you make me feel so good, 's like no one else-"

"yeah?" he picks up the pace again, tilting your body at an angle now so he could go even deeper, watches the way your face changes. he was the one who pulled that sound from your chest — sated but desperate at the same time, needy but satisfied. "i make you feel this good, right? i'm good for you, everything's for you-" he babbled, not making sense to even himself, your praise burying itself deep inside him like a siren song.

you'd choked out more praises, pretty words tumbling from your parted lips, your eyes never leaving his.

"more, hyuck-" you pulled at him, nails scratching down his back. "hyuck-"

it's like he can hear your voice, as his hand slides down to his hip, down to his leaking cock.

he jerks himself off like that — to the images of you pressed under him, your voice calling his name. he does it fast, with no finesse — tugging roughly, the slide too dry, but he doesn't care about drawing out the pleasure, doesn't think it matters if you're not here with him.

he feels even filthier after he finishes — peeling off his soiled shirt, as he stumbles to the bathroom. he knows he won't hear from you tonight, that you wouldn't do that to jisung, but still he keeps his phone unlocked with the ringer on next to his bed as he lays down again.

maybe he would wake up, and you would tell him he could never see you or touch you again. his mind wanders in another direction now, away from your body, away from pleasure — to the ways you made his heart squeeze tight in his chest. when you said his name. when you'd comforted him as he was crying, the kindness in your eyes despite all the ways he hurt you. sitting on the kitchen counter, thinking of ways to keep you with him as your eyes wandered off. look at me, he'd wanted to beg. think of me. just me.

he goes to sleep thinking about how this could be the last night before you'd really only exist in memory and fantasy, before everything changes.

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