THE ONES THAT REALISED TOO LATE
relationships: multiple boys x f!reader
content warnings: angst
word count: 2.2k +
the best friend who has always been in love with him, been by his side as he goes through life. whether it was supporting him through his passion for volleyball, or making sure that he’s keeping well.
“why are you so blind?” you asked one night as you were in the car, facing him as he had his suit on from the party you were just at.
“why can’t you see that i’m so fucking in love with you?”
you felt the car slow down, as he quickly faced you, then back to the road. luckily it was close to midnight so there wasn’t a lot of cars on the road you were on.
laughing to yourself, “i have been in love with you ever since second year, do you know how long that is?” without waiting for him to respond, “almost ten years. i’ve been in love with you for almost ten years. watch as you date other women in front of me, like it doesn’t kill me every single time you glance at them, wishing you could glance at me like that, just even once.
“do you know what that feels like? being in love with someone like that? i could never say it to you until now because,” pausing you turned to look at him. white knuckles as he held tightly to the steering wheel as if it was going to fly at any moment, the rigidity in his body. never has he ever been tense around you.
“well that doesn’t matter. i spent almost a decade loving someone who could never even look at me, or even think of me that way. in the last ten years, i never even once passed through your head as someone you could have anything romantic with,” laughing again at how ridiculous this was.
here you were, finishing another party, stuck to his side as women threw themselves at him with the promise of luxury and publicity that you could never afford. they were gorgeous, stunning and you knew any of them would look wonderful beside him.
but you wanted that to be you. to be next to him, to stand next to him at these parties, hand interlocked, often kissing each other out of habit. unfortunately, judging from his blushing face as he locked eyes with one woman, it wasn’t going to be you.
it was never going to be you.
“this is me,” you piped up, the first words spoken in the last ten minutes. you barely looked at him, unbuckling your seatbelt, you felt him grab your hand. “if you’re going to let me down, please don’t do it right now while i’m going out of the car. there will be a high chance that i’ll fall.”
chuckling, he admired how even in this situation, how uncomfortable you were you still managed to make him smile.
“can we talk about this later?” finally looking at him, “i’m busy tomorrow with the meeting i was telling you about tonight, but maybe next week? i know you’re really busy right now so that’s the next you’re able to do it.”
nodding at your words, he hesitantly let go of your hand, ignoring his gut feeling saying that it was the wrong move.
silently leaving his car, you stood in front of the car, watching as he reversed. you waved goodbye and smiled at him one last time.
it was weeks since your last talk, when you decided to tell him out of the blue that you were in love with him. thinking back to it, it wasn’t out of the blue. if he actually paid attention, he realised that the signs were there all along.
you were right, he was too busy and so were you, both of you often having to delay the inevitable meeting between you. there was something in his chest, something uneasy that kept him up at night.
all he could think of was he should have not let go of your hand that night. you should have had that talk right then and there. granted, he didn’t fully know how he felt about you, but now that he knew he was ready to go all in.
did you see this?
frowning at the text message, he clicked the notification and noticed that it was sent along with a screenshot. there you were, smiling bright and wide, one that you often when you were around him. even through the screen, he couldn’t help but reciprocate not caring that you couldn’t see.
scrolling down he saw that there was another photo, this time your arm around a man’s waist that he’s never seen before.
i didn’t realise (y/n) was seeing someone.
oikawa, sakusa, ushijima, kita, aone, kenma, tsukishima , daichi, bokuto, fukuro, yamaguchi, akaashi, romero, barnes
the friends with benefits. it was stupid, it was cliched, but you fell for him after agreeing to a no strings attached relationship. how could you be so stupid?
“i can’t do this anymore,” you muttered as you sat up, already looking for your clothes. you could feel his stare from the bed, eyes following you as you walked around his bedroom.
“what do you mean?” he knew what you were saying, he’s had an inkling that you felt more than he did. that’s why he’s been more distant, flirted with girls while you were looking. drawing that line across the sand so you don’t get the wrong idea. and draw that line he did, right across your heart like he took a knife and just scratched it.
“you know what i mean,” you snapped, finally putting on your top. buttoning your trousers, you spun around and looked at him. “i’m in love with you,” you smiled serenely.
it was silent, and you could hear the cars and the noise from the city. you stood there awkwardly, no matter how angry you may have seemed to him, all your heart longed for was for him to tell you that he felt the same. but as you watched him stay on the bed, eyes boring into yours, you felt like a stupid, foolish, little girl.
“you knew the rules,” was all he said, and you scoffed.
“right,” you answered. “got it,” without another word, you walked out of the room and out of his apartment.
it’s been a couple of weeks, a couple of weeks on his part filled with thoughts of you. it was hard, you were friends before you struck up this arrangement. at first it was okay, he thought good riddance. the second week, he tried to go out and he did manage to hook up with someone else. it wasn’t hard, he was good looking, had a nice personality and he had that air about him.
it was the third week that everything went upside down. he woke up bleary and confused, a pounding headache as soon as he opened his eyes, his arms reaching to grab out for you but instead he was met with messy sheets. groaning, he called out your name in frustration but all that answered him was the emptiness of his apartment.
he called your name a second time, and went for a third before he remembered that no, you weren’t there anymore. you weren’t the one that he went home with last night, but it was certainly you that he was picturing when he was fucking that girl last night.
sitting up in his bed, he rubbed a frustrated hand across his face, ignoring the constant pounding of his head, he knew that if you were here there would already be a pill on the nightstand, along with iced water and fresh fruit, while you waited downstairs as he tried to become human again.
it wasn’t just that event, it was multiple scenarios where he often thought of you, the way that you fit into his life so easily but also managed to slip away like you were just strangers.
he missed you, whether it was platonically, romantically, or sexually he didn’t know. he didn’t know until he went to your apartment, intending to talk to you since it’s been about a month, six days, and 2 hours to be exact since you left his apartment, and he’s heard nothing from you.
he didn’t know what to do with the constant thoughts of you filtering in and out of his head, the way he wanted to feel your body against his at night when he’s just about to fall asleep, that you were the first thing he wanted to wake up.
he didn’t know what to do with the fact that while he enjoyed you a shuddering mess underneath his body, he missed your smiles, your conversation, how you made him feel. he missed the little quirks you had more, or the fact you made him feel lighter, and you made him feel alive.
he didn’t realise he was in love with you too until he saw you open the door and exit your apartment, with a man holding your hand and a loving gaze on your face as you looked at him.
atsumu, kuroo, terushima, mattsun, suna, ukai jr, tsukishima, sachiro, meian, iwaizumi, futakuchi, shion
the fake relationship. he was in love with someone else, and in his dumb, stupid mind, he realised the only way to show that person was to pretend to be with someone else.
unfortunately, for you, the person he was using was you. he asked you, bribed you with the things that you were passionate about. not being able to say no, you hesitantly agreed. you knew what this would entail, you’ve read about this multiple times. but the stupid hopeless romantic part of you thought, maybe you were the exception. maybe this was your happy ever after, though very unconventional.
of course it didn’t though. and you were left high and dry, feelings deeper than ever as you watched the man your whole heart was carved out for, give his to someone else without you in mind. they made him happy, and him being happy made you happy no matter how hurt you felt. that’s what love is right? making sure that the person you’re in love with is happy, even if it’s not with you.
“i’m so happy for you!” you managed to say out, as you watched his smile grow bigger as he told you the wonderful news.
“can you believe it?” showing you the messages, which you barely glanced at. “after all this time i finally get to call her mine!”
“you should come meet her, you guys would get along so well,” smiling tightly and you felt your teeth clench against each other.
i’d rather walk through a pit of lava and be stabbed a thousand times, thank you.
“of course, i’d love to meet her!” grabbing your belongings from when you were ‘living’ with him. “i have to go now though, i have a meeting.”
nodding and bidding you a farewell, he giddily went back to his phone messaging her back and forth, frowning when his messages were left on read, he thought nothing of it.
catching something in the corner of his eye, he walked over and smiled as he realised it was one of your jackets. realising it was one of the ones that you often wore but was replaced by his jumpers instead.
sending through a message, he smiled as he instantly saw you read and the three bubbles pop up.
you forget your jacket at mine. want me to drop it off later?
--oh, i forgot about that old thing.
--no, you can just donate it or toss it.
feeling the jacket heavier in his hand, he couldn’t help but frown. but this was your favourite jacket, why would you want not to have it. scrunching his face at your odd behaviour, he quickly hung it inside his closet in case you ever wanted it.
he was supposed to be happy. he had everything he wanted. he finally had this ideal girl in front of him, so why did he always subtly compare her to you? the way she chewed her food, the way she flipped her hair, or even the way she said some words. why, why did he cringe whenever she tried to initiate physical touch? why did it take him two weeks to kiss her again after the first time? why does it feel wrong to do it with someone else other than you?
running up to your flat, he giddily and nervously bounced up and down, waiting for you to open the door. this was it. this was the moment where he’ll tell you that he was in love with you, and it doesn’t matter if you don’t because he’s there, he’s there and he’s willing to wait for you. no one else.
so when you didn’t open the door after the first three times he rung your doorbell, something heavy loomed over him. there was a tightening in his chest, a blooming feeling of wrongness over his head.
he heard his voice being called out by a familiar voice, smiling instinctively, he turned around. eyes focused on your confused stare. too busy taking a good look at you after a couple of months, he stepped forward only then seeing the man coming up behind you.
that feeling came back again, that heaviness and wrongness as the man jogged up behind you, wrapping his arm around your waist and kissing your temple as you let out a small giggle.
the tightening around his heart increased as you introduced the stranger as your boyfriend to him.
osamu, oikawa, hanamaki, bokuto, hinata, futakuchi, daichi, kageyama, tomas, kita, kuroo
Their Unchained Melody
↳ suna x f!reader
DAY ONE of five: will he be there, waiting for you, for the one time you’ve decided to meet him halfway? can trust that was once broken ever be restored? or maybe it was you that had it wrong all along...
cw: mild smut, angst, break ups, drunk!suna, f!reader, cheating (?) but is it really??
NOTES:this is a repost from my old blog, but I changed the plot of it. and per usual, we always go down with the unedited posts but it’s all cool right?? ( ,: see you tomorrow for day two. (summaries of the next days will be linked here! I know I said I’ll write Twin Flames, but I want to put more time in writing so here is my gift to you all instead ~ twin flames will come, no worries!)
likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated
Walking into a vacant cold room, as if it mocked the one that trespassed through the front doors, somehow hoping that he could meet his lover — the one that still held onto his heart for god knows how long, but yet be found with the same fact — a repeated torment, his goddamn punishment, that you weren’t there, and it was him who fucked it all up… and continued to do so.
There Suna Rintarou stood, in the front steps of his apartment wishing, truly hoping, that you would come and greet him with even a hello, because he wouldn’t mind you cursing at him… if it just meant that he could hold you in his arms, breathe in the same air… no… if you would just let him see you, even if it be from a far off distance, he wouldn’t mind — he swore he wouldn’t mind…
He believes, most utterly believes that he would undoubtedly give the world to see your face light up at the sight of him returning back home from a grueling practice. Or maybe when he came a bit too late, drunk out of his mind but yet cheeky in a smile as he faced you, deep in a frown, dressed in your cute pajamas that showed the fine lining of your ass, face bare and looking just so pretty… hoping that you would nurse and cuddle him to sleep despite his clingy self.
Or maybe…he just wished you would come back home simply to curse at him for the pain and heartache that he’s caused you, because if he could have just one more day… no, even just one more hour… no even if it was just a mere couple of minutes; if he simply had the chance to beg… do what he should’ve of but stupidly wasn’t able to a couple of months prior because of his selfish pride… he’ll do it in a heartbeat if given the chance.
He remembers, he’ll never forget the way you made him feel. Where the mere touch of his fingertips as it grazed upon the linings of your figure as you laid bare and vulnerable next to him after sex. Never could he feel the excitement that pursed through his bones, through his veins, that caused his eyes to dilate, his stomach to coil from the all familiar feel of getting aroused. and his mouth to salivate from simply seeing you naked.
He swore the day he’s laid eyes on you, he believed he’s seen an angel. And he believes till this day, that his eyes never lied.
Sure, he’s had his past flings, his past fucks... but never did it cross his mind to want for himself, for him to dive into a foreign world of wanting to“settle down.” And it was you that made him desire it on his own.
Because the way that you held him in your arms as he laid snuggled into the crook of your neck, with your hands carding through his hair and as you whispered sweet nothings into his ear, offering small kisses to the sides of his face as he slept in comfort.
You felt warm, and you were his safeguard through it all. You were the one that grounded him still when he wasn’t drafted to play for the Olympics, you were there when he got scouted to play for the pro-league, you were there in the moments of lows — to encourage him to believe and try again, and you were always there to celebrated most heartedly in his moments of success — crying in behalf of him.
He recalls the day you first kissed. Hell, never had he felt so nervous about placing his lips onto another person when he’s done it so many times. He remembers the sloppy kisses and playful hand holdings as he tried his best to look cool, calm, and collected but utterly failing in all realms.
It was a mystery why you chose him. He wasn’t the best in portraying his love, often times your love was too grand for someone like him to receive… but despite not being the best, he still tried to give you his all.
He’s got it engraved in his skull of the first time you both had sex. With his heart threatening to beat out of his chest, as he bottomed out of your tight hole, and as he fucked you full... where he breathed into your ears, moaning out your name as he felt your nails dig at his skin. To feel the slapping of your ass as it met in contact with his hips, to have you pinned down on the mattress as he anchored your arms back and hit it from behind. Those impromptu moments of raw sex, pure fucking on the counter top, in the shower, in the car or even in the public restrooms. And to those moments when he felt as if the air was knocked out of him in the precious moments where he felt your souls connect as one… truth be told, he wanted to cry in those moments because love with you was something he should’ve never deserved, but yet you freely, most willingly gave.
And despite being too late, he wishes he could go back to the saving grace of the past, because it was then when all was well.
So why couldn’t he just tell you when you asked? Why couldn’t the world simply be on his fucking side for just once? All you’ve ever shown him was care, and on that night it was no other.
He knew he looked shady, he knew what he was doing was wrong… and he was sure that it would’ve been — no he was going to end it all soon, but he didn’t — he simply couldn’t.
He didn’t have the power to.
But he would do it now, at any given moment you would provide, because saving his pride wasn’t worth this deep wretched pain that he felt the moment he watched you walk out the doors with tears flowing through your perfect eyes, as you muttered out the three blameless words,
“I hate you.”
As he was held in the arms of another woman.
He was the one that caused your eyes, the eyes that once beheld a light and luminance of an angel… it was he who caused such beautiful eyes to become swollen and red from the damned tears that fell down your face.
But yet, would it still be selfish of him to say…
“YN, I miss you…”
And it was those exact tears that tormented him day in and day out, and today, he felt those same tears befalling from his eyes as he stared off into the empty gray room, specifically his couch that would’ve held your sleeping frame a couple of months prior. Sleeping soundly, with a small cute snore and a bit of drool released from the tip of your mouth, as you latched onto his torso like a baby koala… and all he could remember was the feeling of serenity as he watched your face twitch from your dreams, the feeling of warmth transferring to his cold body… and it was then, during such a simple, pure moment that he decided… you were going to be his one and only.
Because you made him feel alive.
But none of that mattered now.
With the smell of alcohol that reeked through his mouth, and the smell of smoke permeated on the tips of his darkened fingers, he stepped into the empty room — one that was once filled with the joys of life, once dreaming of a life of ‘what ifs’ and ‘I hope so’s, a time in his life where just the touch of you alone would cause his bones to shake and the pits of his stomach to curl in nervousness. Where just the faint look of your smile would cause his face to erupt in flames and his body to react of its own.
And when he held you in his arms, held tight and pinned under his frame, as you lovingly placed your palms onto his cheeks with a sheer visage of gentleness plastered onto your angelic face, as you said the sacred words of i love you’s, it was you that caused him to enter into another dimension — a different universe that contained only of him and you, a world he wished to create with you…
Scanning the room, remembering of the good that he once had, the memories that were held within these walls… a life of a promise that two sacred lovers once shared — an unchained melody that stopped its harmony the moment he broke his vows. It was you that brought him life. It was you that allowed him to see, the one that pull him into a world of beauty to this lowly life… and it was you that made his heartbeat stronger to match the tempo of the wild sounds of a beating war drum. It was the love that you poured into him that caused him to ultimately break and see how truly undeserving he was.
… and it was that exact love that caused him to be where he was now — a shameless fool seeking simply the mere shadows of his lost treasure.
The idea of love always scared him, but the idea of losing you was like a curse he never wanted to defy. But yet there he was now, alone and wasted in a dark Friday evening, searching and longing for the one that beheld his heart, for the one that left him stranded alone, for the one that promised it’ll all be okay…
Surely, that was all a lie and them some more… because you weren’t here, because you willingly left.
But would it be because he was drunk? Or maybe it was just life fucking up with his mind? Or maybe it was the weight of his sins of breaking the heart of the one… the one who even gave him a chance, the one who showed him purpose, the one that allowed him to feel alive. And just as if remembering even the good that he once shared with you was a crime of its own, the weight of his guilt and the overbearing of his self-condemnation was felt a bit too heavy on this particular night.
Because tonight would have been five years with his beloved, a night five years ago was filled with nervous hand-holding, sloppy kisses with the clashing of teeth, and the blameless promise of commitment of two people to experience life together, through thick and thin, but here he was alone and on his knees wishing you would come back.
“Come back home, YN… where are you?” Rintarou whispered out, with his head low as his unkempt hair passed his eyes, covering the dark circles that were plastered below, and strangely so… unlike the past tormentous days where he found himself in such a pitiful stance, his tears still felt warm.
Maybe it was because the one that caused such tears to befall from his lonely eyes still somehow kept his heart beating alive in the idea of you — in the reminiscence.
And there placed before his grievous form was a velvet box, donned with a gold latch that dimly sparkled as the moonlight reflected from the window — a gift, delicate ring, that he’s been anxiously planning for a year, hoping that he could present it to you on this special day.
Trying his best to stifle the shaking of his voice, and the harsh pressure building within his chest, he couldn’t help but let his breath hitch as his tightly closed fists, shaking in the desire to stay composed but yet dreadfully failing so, were placed upon his thighs as the puddle of his hot tears radiated his cold, dejected body.
“I f-fuck… I c-can’t do this…”
And never having the chance to say such honest words to you, he poured out his heart into a mere two words… hoping somehow it would be enough,
And there Suna Rintarou wept, in the middle of his apartment that contained all of you but yet still none of you, holding only but the simple mere essence of you, shivering and being tormented by the memories and the shame that shackled him still. It was his fault for leaving you alone that one promising day, and it was you that ended up leaving him for good… how heartless, for you never once turned back to watch him reaching out for you.
But little did Suna Rintarou know, as he cried and longed for you to come back and listen to his plea… somewhere behind a wall, hidden in the dark was a figure in just as much as pain him, witnessing his torturous pain.
Longing and desiring, just like him, to feel his soft calloused hands brush against her cheeks. To smell the sweet fragrance of smoke interlaced with the undertones of his light cologne that often drove her into heat. To brush her small hands through his silky brown locks, and massage his scalp as he slowly ventured into sleep. Where his toned arms were wrapped securely at her waist, as his leg weighed down her own, and his face snuggled into her neck and the softness of his breaths combined with his slight mumbling from his dreams melted all her worry and stress.
But there you were, harshly muffling the sounds of your cries … knowing it was you that decided to leave… it was you that called it quits, so why were you crying? All you needed to do was get your things and confidently leave, but why… why did you feel as if you’ve made a mistake of leaving him that day?
He was the one that went off that night, he was the one that took phonecalls away from you, he was the one that kept his phone locked and hidden from you, he was the one to have removed your picture, his holy grail he once bragged, from his phone screen one day out of the blue… he was the one that came home the day after with red marks on his shirt with the disgusting smell of perfume and cigarettes…
And he was the one that had the audacity to state, not even looking surprised that you were waiting for him till the early mornings,
“It’s not for you to worry about.” As he stripped off his clothes to take a shower, never forgetting to take his phone with him.
Ah… but life always seems to have a different plan and never does it stop to wait for your heart to heal — never does it wait for you to be ready, always pushing to teach you a life lesson when least expected nor desired.
For it simply hits you like a wrecking ball as it watched you pick yourself back up with the little strength that you have… only to knock you out dead once more.
Life is not perfect… nor is it understanding, but the pain and the small fragrant of hope that it brings… — that is what makes life beautiful.
As if irony loved to play with your heartstrings, to test the will of your patience… how funny is it that the moment he stepped out of the shower, in only but a pair of sweats loosely wrapped on his waists, that you hear the knocking of his front door.
With your eyes already filled with tears, with your shoulders weighed down upon the burden on this situation… a broken relationship of two once lovers that now seemed so far and distantly apart, where the memories of the past were placed dangerous close off to the edge of a scaffold, like a glass menagerie, shining bright under the dim light, sparking for eyes to see, with fate mocking you of the reality of your broken relationship. The ornament was on the verge of shattering and meeting to its death, where it would soon be crushed for none to see, trampled upon the foot of fate itself as the world laughed at you of your demise — your foolishness to love him.
Because the moment you took the courage to stand up, to ask him what’s wrong, to find a solution… because surely there must be a way to fix this — there his front door opened.
And in a split second later, appeared a woman that soon wrapped her arms around his trembling frame… as she whisked her fingers through his hair, and kissed his tears away as she held onto his tight fists — whispering words unheard to you, that somehow stopped his crying and stabilized his tense body… as his golden green orbs were fixed upon you.
… and that was the moment you knew you were too late… and the neverending story ended that day. For you felt your skin burning, as you witnessed a strangers body pressed upon the almost naked form of him, and yet he did nothing.
And all you remembered was leaving his apartment, mustering the courage to say the most spiteful words you could manage,
“I hate you.”
And after a week of constant missed calls, and voicemails from him, urges from his friends to hear him out… that was the last time you’ve heard from Suna Rintarou.
But there you were, hiding in his closet, with your hands placed over your lips as you tried your best to not cry — for what purpose would there be to cry for a man that didn’t want you so?
… hah but surely, your heart never listens.
Because your lover, the one that still held your heart, the one that seemingly longed for you tonight and just like any other night he’s lonesomely called out for you, he muttered out your name as he looked off into the distance of a picture of you that he’s placed on his coffee table — never letting anyone say a word about its existence nor giving anyone the grace to lay their fingers on the frame.
“I’m sorry, I miss you,” was all he stated.
So, Suna Rintarou on the night of your supposed fifth anniversary, intoxicated and a heart full of chaos, but yet with a heart yearning after you, picked up his phone to dial a number as he wiped his tears from the dampness of his shirt, and brushed his hair back exposing his forehead.
Who was he calling at this time…? Was it that the woman that barged in his apartment that day?
Was it silly for you to expect, maybe… he was trying to call you? But he just couldn’t? And would it be more crazy to say you disappointed when your phone strangely laid silent — awfully too silent.
It was then you heard his quiet voice not too long after.
“Can you come over, I need you tonight…”
And as if this was a common occurrence, you heard a voice of a woman in response,
“I’ll be there in ten.”
© sunareign 2022. Do not copy, plagiarize, and/or repost.
𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 | 𝐌𝐈𝐘𝐀 𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐔.
“did you know i love you,” you murmur, and atsumu hums, face lifting from your chest as his gaze find yours. you can see the small flecks of gold in his eyes, and there’s awe in how even in the flaws, there’s nothing but beauty in him. your fingers thread through his soft tresses, and his eyes flutter shut, lashes leaving a small shadow over the high of his cheekbone.
“ya love me? that’s embarrassin’,” he teases. his smile makes your heart ache, but it’s pleasant, and your fingertip runs over the curve of his lips, relearning every part of him and burning them into your mind.
“you loved me first,” you counter, and his eyes reopen as they swim with fondness—and this is where his love starts and it’s where it ends: through a simple, fleeting glance.
“i did,” he agrees, “loved ya for so long. when’d ya love me back?” he asks through a giddy whisper, almost childlike as he awaits your response.
you know you love miya atsumu when you first see glimpses of him through the small cracks in his demeanor, in the quiet moments where he lets a soft, hushed breath pass from his lips unconsciously, when the sun kisses his cheeks and leaves a hazy glow on his lightly tanned skin.
you know you love atsumu when you watch him call his mother, excitedly rambling about his week and promising when he’ll visit next. you know you love atsumu when he leaves food out for the stray cat he’s seen, whispering hopefully about how he wants to earn its trust. you know you love atsumu when you watch him scold his teammates for not drinking enough water, distress written over his features in clear print. you know you love atsumu when he stares fondly at the picture of him and his brother as his home screen, and you feel his love returned tenfold with every little grin that stretches across his face when he catches a glimpse of the home screen that’s you.
you love atsumu when you realize your atsumu is different from the one that lives on the screen during games and interviews, that yours is not always cocky, or confident, or brave—he’s shy, and sensitive, and scared. he loves blindly, falls headfirst and begs you to catch him, to let your arms cushion him from the thorns of rejection he’ll meet at the bottom. your atsumu wraps his love carefully around you like a blanket of warmth that radiates off the skin of his callused hands and the orbs of his honeyed eyes, tightly clinging to you like you’re the lifeline he desperately needs. your atsumu’s voice is boyish and young, it cracks with notes of glee and innocence, and it’s a melody that rings in your ear that not many have had the pleasure to hear.
your atsumu doesn’t know how simple it is to love him, doesn’t see how naturally it comes, and you suppose that his obliviousness makes loving him that much easier.
“i think i loved you…” you trail off as you think, finger moving to trace over the bridge of his nose, poking the tip softly with a giggle that makes it crinkle. a pout tugs at his lips at what he thinks is hesitance, but what you know is thoughtfulness. “i think i loved you when we first kissed,” you murmur as you settle on an answer.
“cos ‘m a good kisser?” he winks, but you know better. he wants there to be a reason—needs there to be a reason, to know his love is not just security that grounds you, but rather, it’s a promise you keep over and over and over again.
“because you made it easier to breathe,” you whisper softly, lips searing the words into his forehead as you place a delicate peck to the skin.
atsumu does not steal the breath from your lungs when he kisses you, he pours his own into you and lets you drink him in. you think this is your favorite version of him—the one who gives you pieces of himself to build you up, who finds strength in being vulnerable with you, who loves so deep, it settles its way underneath your skin and you feel it within your bones.
with a wobbly, lopsided smile, he kisses your palm as you cup his cheek and murmurs, “love ya so much. wont ever stop.”
“me too,” you promise, and his head finds its way back to your chest, and you fingers find their way back to his hair, and you know you’ll always find a ways back to each other.
Icarus outtake: pre-wedding jitters
pairing: oikawa x f! reader
genre: fluff, romance
summary: the night before your wedding to Tooru, you worry.
You are marrying Oikawa Tooru tomorrow.
In less than twenty four hours from now, you will put on your white kimono and walk through the Shinto temple, shaded by a red umbrella, Tooru by your side. You and he will exchange sake cups, drink thrice to symbolise your commitment to each other for the rest of your life.
It’s a dream come true, at least for you.
You’ve loved him ever since you and he were children, since you were classmates in Seijoh. You’ve loved him even though he left you to chase bigger, better dreams, in his pursuit of the sun. You can’t help but love him yet again when he returns to you, returns to Tokyo - albeit a chastened, humbler version of himself. You let him back in, even though you should protect your wounded heart, let him steal it, call it his.
(as if it weren’t always meant to be his.)
And yet -
You’re afraid. He’s returned to you, patiently sought you out, showed you that it’s safe to entrust your heart with him again but that doesn’t change the fact that Oikawa Tooru is a modern day Icarus. Wings spreading out from his back, eyes trained on the sun, never looking back. You’re unsure he’ll be satisfied clipping his wings for you - leaving his beloved Argentina to move back to Tokyo to take Kageyama’s spot whilst the younger man lives it up in Rome. Surely that must grate at him, surely that must spark some sort of resentment, even though you’d never explicitly asked that of him.
(Icarus, Icarus, am I to be the shackle that binds your wings?)
You should give him an out. You should - you should make it clear to him that you will not resent him if he backs out now. Even if it means your heart will break, you would do it for him.
He picks up immediately, as he always does. Nevermind that he’s probably catching up with his friends - you can hear the low rumble of Iwaizumi’s voice, the gravel in Mattsun’s chuckle, Makki’s teasing lilt. There’s some chatter in Spanish in the background - Matteo, Miguel, Gabriel, his teammates from his time in Argentina. He must be having a good time with all his closest friends, his brothers in all but blood, and look - you are being a bother, yet again.
“Hey”, you steady your voice, refuse to allow even the slightest quiver. “Can we talk?”
The kaleidoscope of sounds in the background fades. Tooru must’ve left the karaoke bar to somewhere quieter, possibly the alley. He should take care, watch his surroundings, not let himself get mugged -
“What is it?” he asks, brushing aside your concerns with a light tone that belies the urgency in his words. “Don’t tell me you’ve got cold feet, princess.”
“The exact opposite, really”, you answer. He lets out a relieved sigh, though he stiffens, back ramrod straight at your next words. “I wanted to call - well. I wanted to call to make sure you’re truly, really sure about tomorrow -”
“I am”, he interrupts, tone sharp.
You are weak. You cannot stop your voice from breaking. And Tooru, perceptive to a fault, notices the cracks in your facade right away.
“I truly, really am sure - what’s gotten into you, princess? I want to - fuck, I’ve dreamt of this - marrying you, building a life together - what’s wrong, tell me - ”
Your fears tumble out of your mouth, lying belly up, ugly and squirming exposed to the sun.
“I’m afraid you'll resent me - maybe not now, but one day, someday maybe, because I’m keeping you from your dreams. You’d be in Argentina now if it weren’t for me, maybe you wouldn’t even be playing for Japan anymore - ”
“Do you even hear yourself?”
Tooru - he doesn’t sound livid. He simply sounds sad.
“I love you”, you admit. His heartbreak is too much to bear. “You know that - I love you, so so much but I worry, I worry that it’s not what’s best for you - ”
“Not what’s best for me?” he echoes, almost hysterical. “Do you wanna repeat that to Iwaizumi or my mom for that matter? Everyone is just happy that you’re giving me a chance, fool that I am - “
“You’re no fool”, you interrupt, cross at any aspersions cast at your beloved Tooru. “They should be more concerned about whether you’re happy.”
His laughter makes your heart soar, gives it wings that are molded from gold. They will not melt in its quest to meet him in the sun.
“Remember, sweetheart. I’ve told you this before, and I’ll tell you this again. I’ve seen the sun, let the chase consume me until it was all my heart desired. But when I found it, held it in my hands, I realised what I should have known all along - that it truly, really had nothing on you.”
“I just want you to be happy”, you hiccup, “Truly, Tooru. Be happy, even if it’s not with me”.
The earnestness in his words has moved you to tears, and it’s all you can do to keep yourself from sobbing on the phone. But he’s patient with you, as he’s always been, his words warming your skin, injecting sunshine into your veins.
“You make me happy, princess. You are my sun, my moon and my stars. I love you better than anything in the sky - and when I can finally call you my wife, I’ll be the happiest guy in the world.”
“Truly, really -”
“Truly, really”, he stresses his words, imbues them with a solemn finality. “I mean it, and I’ll mean it for the rest of my days.”
“Okay”, you breathe. A small smile grows on your face. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Tooru.”
“Tomorrow”, he echoes with a giddy smile on his face. “Tomorrow, gods I can’t wait -”
“Unless, of course you decide to run away with your beloved Iwa-chan -”
“Princess, don’t even joke about that - ”
a/n: an outtake from Icarus for ari @ufo-ikawa and shannon @onefoureightfive - i hope you like this bit of indulgent fluff, my darlings <3
HQ characters + their secret relationships
Excerpts of a secret relationship between the two of you, unaware of the indiscreet eyes trying to pry.
Pairing: fem!reader x timeskip!character
Main characters: Keiji Akaashi, Osamu Miya, Takahiro Hanamaki, Tobio Kageyama, Wakatoshi Ushijima
Content warnings: suggestive themes, angsty undertones, timeskip manga spoilers; plus (not related to the main pairings) miscommunication, a reference to implied emotional infidelity, and one to cheating
Word count: around 500 or 600 words for each pairing
His silky hair tickled your neck as he pressed soft kisses all over the bare skin, and his hands rested on your hips while you sat on his desk.
"Keiji," you breathed, one of your hands tangled in his hair while the other was splayed on his back, "it's getting late, there's nobody around the office but us."
He hummed at your words and then sucked your neck skin into his mouth as a low moan left your lips.
"We need these moments to ourselves," he said languidly, raising his head to look into your eyes, "since we didn't make our relationship public."
His blue eyes scrutinized your facial expression, and you picked up his glasses, slowly placing them on the bridge of his nose. He was waiting for you to say something back, and you heaved a sigh after a few moments of silence.
"You know why I still want to keep things quiet between us," you murmured, "I don't want to hurt him. Especially not right now, when he's so happy about where his career is going."
He slightly tilted his head, never breaking eye contact with you. "I don't want to hurt him either," Akaashi replied, stroking your thighs with his hands, "still, it's completely illogical to continue a secret relationship when we're both sure about where we stand," he added, "it could take a while, but he'll understand in the end."
You nibbled at your bottom lip. "You're right about all of that," you conceded, "but I still feel guilty."
Akaashi’s deep gaze never left yours. "I understand you, but we can't be afraid of our feelings and hide them. We didn't hurt anyone—we just fell for each other."
You licked your lips and nodded. "That's not wrong."
He leaned forward and placed a kiss on your forehead. His lips trailed down over your nose and then your lips, catching your mouth in a sensual kiss while you hooked your legs around his waist and wrapped your arms around his shoulders.
What neither you nor Akaashi realized, though, was that there was a pair of golden eyes watching you. He had been so happy to surprise the two of you and let you know he had a free night to spend out with his two favorite people—only to end up with his heart aching in his chest as he was rooted on the spot, unable to tear his eyes away from the intimate display of affection.
Bokuto heard every word too, and he couldn't believe that the best friend he adored and the best friend he deeply loved would do that to him behind his back.
He clenched his fists as his stomach kept sinking, and he turned around, swiftly walking away from the people who broke his heart and betrayed his trust.
"Samu!" you giggled as he tickled your hips and pressed quick pecks all over your neck and shoulders, "I'm never going to finish flavoring this onigiri if you keep distracting me like that!"
He left a kiss on the nape of your neck, eliciting a mild shudder from you. "Ya know, there's no rush for those," Osamu reminded you, placing his chin over your shoulder, "we don't work tomorrow."
You picked up a small portion of seaweed. "I know," you replied, slightly tilting your head back so that you could look into his eyes, "but I'm actually preparing them for us so that we can have delicious homemade delicacies when we visit Tokyo."
An enamored smile appeared on his lips. "Ya always know what I like without askin'," he noted, "I'm a lucky guy."
You smiled bashfully as you averted your eyes, keeping your gaze fixed on the almost-done rice ball. Osamu studied the slight change in your expression, and he quickly gathered that something was troubling you.
"Hey," he said, wrapping his arms around your waist so that your back rested against his chest, "it won't be long before we can go public with our relationship, ya know? Just a bit of patience."
Your fingers absentmindedly hovered over a plate of pickled ume fruits, selecting two of them. "I just hope that the people we care about will not blame us," you murmured, "because I feel like that is inevitable—a repercussion for our actions."
Osamu frowned and then shook his head. "Why would that even be?" He gently guided your body and turned you around to face him. "We fell in love and didn't intentionally hurt anyone. The people that love us will understand."
You placed your hands on his chest and tilted your head up to look at him. "Samu..." you breathed, "I was married to someone else when we began to love each other," you reminded him, "and my cousin caught us together the day after I and your former best friend separated."
He inhaled sharply. "It sounds kind of bad when ya put it like that," he acknowledged, "but we both know how things went, and..." he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against yours, "we're not in the wrong. And our feelings are genuine. They've always been."
You sighed and then embraced him as he did the same. "Shinsuke keeps telling me how embarrassing our next Inarizaki High reunion is going to be," you mused, "I'm not sure if he says that to annoy me or because he means it for real."
Osamu smirked softly as he held your body against his. "Knowing your cousin, I'm pretty sure he's bein' serious."
You hummed in agreement and then nuzzled his neck, hugging him tightly. "I'm still sorry that you lost your best friend, Samu."
He kissed the top of your head. "Don't be. It was bound to happen," Osamu reassured you, "I love you, and in any scenario, I'll always choose you."
Little did you know, though, that your ex-husband Suna Rintarō had no intention of granting you a smooth divorce based on mutual agreement.
"Hiro," you pouted as you hugged him from behind, "I kind of want the rainbow candy cotton."
He angled his face towards yours. "And here I thought you wanted to eat the pink one in honor of—you know," he gesticulated towards his head, "my hair color."
You licked your lips. "I mean…" you trailed off, "we can eat that one together."
He smirked. "Oh yeah?" Hanamaki turned around and wrapped his arms around your waist, walking you both towards the wall of a secluded street in Shibuya, "sounds good to me."
You parted your lips as he dipped his head and kissed you hard. He cupped your cheeks with his hands, and you slightly tilted your head to one side as you felt him breathing in.
You raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"
A pleased smile appeared on his lips. "Did you wear the perfume I bought for your birthday?"
You bit your lip and then looked up at him through your lashes. "Of course," you replied, "I'm pretty sure it's the third fragrance in a pink bottle you gifted to me."
He hummed and then nuzzled your neck. "So you think of me when you look at them."
Your eyes flashed with amusement. "Oh, I do think of you," you murmured, "though you know that I don't want you to spend all of your savings on me. We're both in between jobs, and we need to do some budgeting."
His lips ghosted your neck. "You're definitely better than me at that," he said earnestly, splaying his hands across your back, "and you could have that job Mattsun told you about, you know? The offer is still standing."
You stroked the nape of his neck, and he shivered lightly. "I'm grateful for that, but I don't really feel like going back to Miyagi. I love Tokyo," you stated, "and I don't want to be away from you, Takahiro."
He raised his head, and his eyes softened as he anchored his gaze on yours. "Neither do I," he told you warmly, "besides...anytime we go back we have to be careful."
You sighed softly. "Yeah," you said as you lowered your gaze briefly, "I just hope one day they can see us hand in hand instead of having to sneak out."
He held your chin between his thumb and index finger. "Me too," he paused, drawing in a breath, "and I don't think they can fault us for being in love with each other."
Your eyes twinkled as a fond smile surfaced on your lips. "No, they can't."
While you and Makki were lost in your bubble near a cotton candy stand, you both failed to register the darkening eyes watching from a few meters away.
Due to a chance occurrence, your best friend Iwaizumi and your step-brother Matsukawa decided to catch up and eat at a popular Izakaya nearby.
But what they didn't take into account, though, was coming across the public display of affection you and Hanamaki were currently engaged in.
The early morning lights shone on the city of Rome while the two of you were relaxing on a comfortable sun lounger located on the rooftop of Kageyama's apartment. His hands were wrapped around your upper body, and his lips ghosted over your chest, trailing kisses over the bare skin.
"Tobio," you murmured, running a hand through his dark hair, "you still have to go over some important parts of your Ali Roma contract and decide about your sponsors, plus how many commercials you want to shoot."
He lifted his head and moved his lips over your neck. "There's still time for that," he grumbled and then nibbled at your earlobe, "I've been here for six months, and I signed a five-year contract."
Your mouth parted. "I know," you replied, sighing softly as his lips on your skin left a warmth that had you shivering, "but my employer is pestering me about it, and I'm not exactly keen on getting reprimanded while doing my job, a new one at that."
He scowled. "If your boss gives you trouble, I'm going to have a few words with them," he grumped, holding your chin to angle your face towards him, "they should allow you to do your job instead of bothering you."
You couldn't help the amused laugh that left your lips. "You never liked my boss," you mused as you tilted your head to accept his lips on yours. Tobio sucked your bottom lip into his mouth and then paused to mutter a muffled damn right.
"Tobio…" you breathed as your lips brushed against his, "the public can't know we're together. Not yet."
A sulky expression crossed his face. "I still think it's ridiculous," he fussed, "it's not like anything will actually happen if those two know about us."
You raised an eyebrow and smirked softly. "It was your manager's idea."
The pout you grew to love appeared on his lips at your reminder.
You placed your fingers under his chin and leaned forward, giving him a quick peck over his parted lips before he eagerly captured your mouth once more.
Unbeknownst to you both, an overzealous photographer working for a major sports website specializing in gossip had reached you in Rome. They were on the edge of their seats as they snapped pictures of the tender, intimate moments you and Tobio were sharing, all while thinking about the scoop they had on their hands.
It didn't take long for a wicked grin to surface on the paparazzo's lips as they studied the photos they had taken.
After all, you were the step-sister of Argentina's superstar Oikawa Tōru and the former girlfriend of Japan's heartthrob Miya Atsumu.
Most volleyball fans were aware that your name had been dragged into the sports tabloid because of how poorly your relationship with your now-ex-boyfriend had ended and, before that, because of a private rift with your step-brother.
What will the two setters think when they see the pictures of you smooching their historical rival plastered all over Japan's sports websites?
"Toshi, are you sure you're comfortable like this?"
He grunted affirmatively, splaying both of his hands over your thighs. "You know I'm strong," Ushijima murmured, latching his lips to your neck as a soft gasp left your lips, "I don’t mind staying like this with you."
You slightly tilted your head back, smiling to yourself. "Oh, I know that you're strong," you breathed, slowly adjusting your position as your bottom rested on his muscular thighs, "and everyone else knows it too."
He wrapped an arm around your waist so that your back was flush against his chest. "You're the only one who truly and deeply knows how strong I am," he placed a kiss behind your ear, and you shivered, "perhaps since we're staying in a hotel here in Tokyo, we could try again what we did in Paris after that dinner Satori prepared for us."
Your cheeks burned at the reminder of the strength Wakatoshi showed you behind closed doors. "To be fair, Tendō fed us oysters and strawberries," you recalled, "paired up with red wine and various desserts full of chocolate and honey. They are all said to have aphrodisiac properties."
He hummed. "I think we would have tried out those positions even without that kind of sexually stimulating food," he stated, "though that delicious dinner helped us."
You chuckled softly. "I feel like we have to thank Tendō for quite a number of things," you mused, "after all, he officially introduced us while you were visiting him in Paris."
Ushijima nodded. "Yes, he did," he rumbled, "I remembered your face, you know? I saw you watching the match between your school and Shiratorizawa back in the day."
You nibbled at your lower lip and smiled. "You liked seeing me dressed in green and yellow?"
A gentle smile appeared on his lips. "Those colors suit you, actually."
Your gazes met as you angled your face towards his, and he leaned forward, catching your mouth in a passionate kiss.
"I hate that I can't walk out of here and be in public with you," he grumbled between kisses, "it makes me impatient."
You sighed. "I know, Toshi. But we have to be patient and wait until the right moment. You know that."
He paused as your lips lightly touched and gave you a slight nod. "I'm aware," he acknowledged, "in the meantime, I often remind myself to be grateful that we can spend a lot of time together when we're both in Europe, without worrying about someone prying into our affairs."
You brushed your nose against his. "Besides Tendō," you grinned, "our matchmaker."
Ushijima smirked. "Yes, apart from Satori."
Your lips connected once again, and you lost yourselves in each other's arms while the gala in honor of the Japan Volleyball Association was in full swing.
Although both of you thought you were safe from probing gazes, a pair of dark eyes witnessed and heard everything.
Sakusa Kiyoomi was at a loss for words as he watched the two of you, disbelief coursing through him. His cousin Motoya was your husband, and you were childhood sweethearts. When you were at Itachiyama, the two of you were always together, and you were the only people Kiyoomi fully trusted.
Of all the things he imagined, Sakusa never thought you would be capable of infidelity, let alone Wakatoshi, a man he genuinely admired and considered a friend.
His brows furrowed as he took a step back to leave his position, but not before throwing an icy stare at you and Wakatoshi. No matter the reason you were cheating on Motoya, Sakusa couldn't help but think that his cousin needed to know about your adultery.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN : confused !
after finding out about your crush on his brother, atsumu comes up with a “brilliant” plan: fake date him to make osamu jealous. you realize that this plan was a mistake when osamu starts dating someone else.
series m.list | previous & next
a/n: sorry for the short chapter, the next chapter will be posted tonight and it will be written.
@iwas-baby @rintarovibes @amarinthe @iwaizumis-bitch @diestheticu @ellesalazar @harmonics0537 @eros-miya @thy-pickled-plums @nichespiderweb @ebiharachan @sunahyejin @anniesfavoritesimp @dazaisfavgf @rory-cakes @gabiisdone @senchoubutter @thecoolpotatohologram @sukunasrealgf @wolffmaiden @beiguangism @theultimatefrenchfangirl @hxked @koutsukki @ilcrona @fi-chanwrites @zitabob @whorefornoodles @ntimacy @oooobokuto @haiuxx @oikawa-bubs @harjiee @cheeseriz @kietsusae @melianlmao @sunaritn @pink4love-purple4lust-blue4loss @makirax @its-the-aerieljeane @pan-cakez
Unlike The Rest
Atsumu x Reader
♡ Dating an oh so perfect professional athlete proved to hit your insecurities more than you thought
Content & Warnings: angst to fluff, established relationship, intimate physical contact, mentions of insecurities related to physical appearances, weight
Dating atsumu meant a lot of things. The pro athlete, brand endorser, model, miya atsumu. Good looking, well known, confident, and so perfect in your eyes, probably in the eyes of his long line of fangirls too. And for the most part, you had no problem with that. You were actually very happy too see people finally appreciate your boyfriend’s hard work through the years. Though he’s always been quite a heartthrob since high school. The limelight, fangirls, away games, they didn’t bother you at all. But from time to time, you’d brush past a few of his ex girlfriends when you were at the mall or roaming the stadium while waiting for his game to start. Most of his exes became professional athletes like him. Even back in high school, he dated quite a few women from the volleyball girls’ club. And in his years as a pro volleyball player, he never really tried to keep his dating life a secret considering that most of the people he dated were as popular as he was. He was a good five years into his career when you two started dating. And ever since, he’s been nothing but loving and genuine, though insecurities weren’t exactly something you could ever control. When sometimes his parents would slip up about his exes and how atsumu and osamu absolutely loved playing volleyball with them. Doesn’t help that they were just so… perfect for him.
During one of his off days, atsumu woke up a little earlier than you. He had to check a few emails and given that your laptop was already opened, he went to your desk to log into his email account. But when the screen lit up, the opened tabs made his eyes widen. Gym membership for gyms near you, effective weight loss routines, food to avoid to prevent weight gain, volleyball training for beginners.
Atsumu had to breathe for a while to take in what he saw. Of course, he had no issues with you wanting to go to the gym or try new diets or learn volleyball (which he was hurt by actually since if you wanted to learn then you should have just asked him, your pro volleyball player boyfriend, to teach you.) He just knew something was bugging you. Otherwise, you would have asked him given that those topics and things were ones which he loved discussing and doing. Working out, trying healthy recipes with samu, playing volleyball. He was about to shut the laptop screen but he failed to notice your already approaching form from behind.
“Tsum?” Your slightly sleepy face with cheeks tinted a small bit of pink gave atsumu the hint that you already know he had seen what tabs you had opened on your laptop. “Come here my angel” he swiveled the desk chair to face you, his arms extended to reach out to you, ready to embrace you the moment you came at his arm’s reach. He gently tugged your body to straddle him, wrapping his arms around your waist while you wrapped yours around his shoulders. With his face buried in the crevice between your neck and shoulders, he spoke. “Are you okay? Is there anything you want to talk about?” His warmth gave you comfort and finally, the confidence to spill your insecurities. “I just wanted to fit with you better, tsum. I want to at least be able to look good beside you, be able to play volleyball with you and samu”. Atsumu’s thoughts clicked and he understood where you were coming from. You felt his lips form a smile against your skin as you two remained hugging. He pulled away a little to speak. “But you already look good with me. Don’t you notice how everyone glances your way when we attend balls and parties, how guys would probably flock you had I not been in the picture. And besides, you don’t have to play volleyball to get along with samu, he already loves cooking with you. I’d say it’s the first time he has ever let someone else invade his kitchen as much as you have.” A small chuckle left his lips before he lifted himself a little to give you a chaste kiss on the lips. “Tsumu” ; “hm?” ; “Thank you. I love you” ; “ I love you too, angel”
They say you fall out of love for the same reason you fall in it. Your reason is this: Shirabu Kenjirou never lies.
So when he tells you he can’t sleep without you, you believe it. When he promises to always make time for you, you believe him.
For the first time in your life, you wished he would lie to you.
“Kenjirou.” Your voice is soft and cracked and piercing every corner of the room all at once. “Let’s just… Let’s sleep it off and revisit this in the morning?” It’s not the first time you’ve tabled a discussion. Probably won’t be the last.
He doesn’t even look at you, scrolling through another application, another scientific journal, another apartment lease. You’re not sure which one of these options it is this time, but you’ve seen all three in the last week. “I’ll be there eventually,” he says. And while eventually is one of his truths, it’s also true that it always means some time when you aren’t there. When he doesn’t have to be faced with the reminder of you.
“I love you,” you try one more time. You shouldn’t. You’ve tried it enough to be able to draw scientific conclusions on what the answer is most likely to be.
Closing your eyes, you listen as he says, “Sleep tight.”
At one time, Shirabu picked you up from classes and late night exams.
At one time, he studied with you at ungodly hours of night, both delirious on an overindulgence of caffeine.
At one time, you both laughed about how bad a job you were doing at cutting his hair into those awkward, straight-edged bangs he liked.
At one time, he snuck out of classes for kisses, ran to the hospital parking lot just to see your face, spent his days off curled up on your couch.
You can’t remember the last time he even really looked at you.
You can’t remember what it felt like when you knew his love for you was one of his fundamental truths.
Shirabu Kenjirou doesn’t lie.
If he can’t tell you, I love you too anymore, it’s because he doesn’t. Perhaps you should’ve given up when he broke his promise. He makes time for everything else, but never for you. You know that, but you’ve been holding onto the hope for perhaps a little too long.
They say you fall out of love for the same reason you fall in it. Shirabu’s reason is this: you write him letters.
He finds one on the coffee pot when he finally wakes up the next morning – on the couch, since he fell asleep halfway through a work document.
He smiles a little. The familiar handwriting speaks volumes to him, though it says next to nothing at all. Then he freezes.
I’ll be at Goshiki’s when you read this. I don’t know when THAT will be. I could text you, but I don’t think you’d read that either, and at least with this, I can make excuses for why you haven’t responded yet. I know you’re always on your phone.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I’d like to bring a topic to our next Round Table Meeting. The topic is this: you’re destined for greatness, and I’m destined for a different greatness. Love is a choice, and every day I make the choice to go to you. You make the choice to go to the hospital. It’s not a bad choice, all things considered, but it just doesn’t work with mine.
So, Kenjirou. Next time we meet will be our last as lovers.
I’m sorry, but this is going to kill me unless we end it here. Please come find me when you’re ready to talk.
He reads it again.
He knows you’re right about all of it. All the same, his own undelivered letter burns in the pocket of his pajama pants.
Let’s move to Tokyo. I found us a great apartment.
for someone with sharp memory, you wondered when you started forgetting dates.
maybe it was that time you found every single day as normal; when you realized that dates were nothing but just dates. they went after another, ending easily the way they started, a cycle of sunrise and sunsets.
maybe it was that time you noticed how bland and boring your days were because no one initiated the adventure other than yourself. the booming voice gone, replaced by ringing silence. maybe it was that time you realized you needed that bright, adamant, compelling presence, but then you looked around and didn’t find him among the sea of people you hang out with.
(—even though you still see him everywhere. even though he’s still there, in the special corner in your heart you’d carved years ago to fit his shape —)
maybe it was that time when days reverted from chaos to solemn, no more squeaks of shoes on shiny floors, no more rowdy howls of boys in sweaty jerseys. maybe it was the time you had to give up hoping for the times he’d just spontaneously appear right on your porch, breathless and beaming, volleyball on one hand and car keys on the other.
(no more 'i made it in time!' 'no you didn't, it's already five past midnight-' 'happy anniversary!')
maybe it was that time you ceased crying yourself to sleep, because you no longer had reason to. maybe it was that time you moved on from the empty yearning this relationship had brought you. maybe it was during your period of realization that he was no longer a part of you, that you woke up one day and finally acknowledged the existing chasm between you and the court ever since he made that choice.
(—he’d grown. he needed breathing space. the space you carved in your heart suffocated him so.)
maybe it was the time you came to terms with the fact that he and you now lived separate and independent of each other, that you only had to watch out for your own time and not care about his, that his first love might be you but his last love is and will always be volleyball.
and then you realize just how much he constituted most of the memories you have, and that maybe the reason why you remembered dates in the first place was because he was in them.
OIKAWA, ATSUMU, bokuto, kuroo, HINATA, nishinoya, hoshiumi, iwaizumi, YAKU, sugawara, terushima, yahaba, futakuchi, kindaichi, kageyama
( 1 ) — cheatmates.
warnings. mentions of drinking
note. set two months after the events that took place in the prologue. atsumu's ex is kana ( miyazaki kana ) and the reader's ex is yoshiro ( inoue yoshiro )
series masterlist !
JAN 22, 2022. —
“Fancy seeing you here,” These are the moments you want to quote that peace was, indeed, never an option, because you were having a good time after an exceptionally tiring day, and Miya Atsumu decides to show up and he seems to have plans none other than drinking with you.
“Oh, hi. ” You mutter nonchalantly. “I wish we met under better circumstances.”
You wish you didn’t meet him at all. Partially because of what happened two months ago, and especially not after what happened the previous day.
“Yeah,” He mutters. “So, how have you been holding up?”
“Fine. I’ve been okay, yeah,” It doesn’t take a scientist to know you’re lying. It’s obvious, especially to Atsumu, which is why he gives you a dubious look; one that makes you sigh and surrender into letting your guards down. “Bad.”
A chuckle escapes his mouth. “No need to lie, y’know?” Atsumu orders a glass, proceeding to pour from your drink while you’re left wondering if you’re the one who’s more heartbroken here not. “We’re in the same boat, after all.”
Maybe. Well— you both got cheated upon, and that too with no other than each other’s partners. It may be the same for him, but you’re sceptical about it. Because the last time you checked, it was his girlfriend who accused you of cheating on your boyfriend with Atsumu. You’re not sure if you should be happy because the tables have turned, or sad ‘cause first, you lost your boyfriend to a woman who seemingly has no conscience ( you think he could’ve done better, if he had to cheat in the end ) and secondly, you’re supposedly stuck with the ex boyfriend of that so called woman-with-no-conscience, who probably has no conscience either.
“How's your studies?” You ask in an attempt to change the subject.
He takes a shot. “Good. Just changed my major— I'm sure you’ve heard about it.”
“Oh yeah, dropping sciences for sports? My friend called you crazy for that.” You laugh, your friend is not wrong, per se, but you’d rather see Miya Atsumu in court, spiking some balls, than in demanding science lessons. Then you pause, fiddling with the empty glass in your hand. You wonder if your silence is because of a light hangover or the lack of energy to hold a conversation. “Can I say something about your girlfri— I mean, your ex-girlfriend?”
He’s quiet. Why? You wonder, shooting him an empty gaze. Say yes. Tell me that I can say anything without limits. After all, she cheated on you. But you take a hint when he doesn’t respond for another second. You ponder if he’s already over her, or if he’s even trying to move on. While his silence makes it hard for you to say anything, his next words surely catch you by surprise.
“She’s such a bitch—” You don’t even let him speak when he gives you the green light. But an apology falls off your lips just as quick at the profanities. “ ‘m sorry,”
“Yeah, no shit. My friends called it already. They didn’t like her, not at all.” He lowers his gaze, you follow yours to take a look at his eyes. Guilt, that’s what you find. You wonder what it's for. “But hey, Yoshiro wasn’t a monk either!”
“Right. My dad hated him. The vibes, y’know, he didn’t like it. Said he wasn’t trustable and I fought with him over it,” Now that you’re in his shoes, you realise why there’s a certain level of culpability in his eyes. “Turns out he was right.”
It’s always the friends and family who sense it first. Your lover’s perfidious? They know it first. Your dog’s rabid? They know that first too. Then what follows is a heated argument about how you can’t disrespect my lover, but your lover turns out to be a liar. And you’re left wondering if things would’ve been different if you listened, and whether they would’ve stayed if you were better than the way you are now.
Atsumu whispers a soft apology as his hands rest upon yours. There’s a familiar warmth in his touch, or maybe it feels so because you’ve been left cold for a while. “But you know this whole thing? Like my girlfriend cheating on me with your man, and them being hated by our friends and families, feels like a connection.”
It’s an attempt to cheer you up. So you pour yourself another glass, playing along in his games. “You mean like a soulmate or something?”
“Nuh-uh,” He dismisses. “Cheat mates,”
And you choke. His eyes wide in panic, mind dodging between whether to offer you tissue or water so he just stares in confusion as your coughs alter into bubbles of laughter. “Dammit, Tsum. You and your bad jokes,” You swear your humour is better than this, and maybe it’s the light hangover— which is not so light anymore, but you refuse to accept that you have a low tolerance— that made you laugh at Atsumu’s jokes.
Spending time with Atsumu isn’t a bad idea after all, until someone uninvited steps in. “Y/n?” Oh, no. You are not doing this today. “Moved on pretty fast, huh?” You didn’t even look at the person but hearing his voice makes you want to rip your hair out.
You look at Atsumu. He looks calmer than earlier. The mischievous shimmer in his eyes disappears as soon as his gaze meets that of your ex, who happens to be with another uninvited person, his ex-girlfriend.
“Well, considering you dated her while we were still in a relationship,” Your eyes meet his and Atsumu is left wondering if you actually don’t care, or if you’re just too good at masking your emotions. “ it was bound to happen.”
Kana scoffs, her gaze shooting daggers as if she’s telling you that you stole his boyfriend, which is in fact the funniest thing you’ve discerned today. “Or maybe you could be seeing Atsumu even before thi—”
“Kana, that’s enough.” Atsumu interrupts. His voice is firm, dropping all the undertones of friskiness— a quality you never imagined him to encompass. ( and it’s mostly because of his tales going around the campus )
“I’m not talking to you,” She retorts, rolling eyes as if he’s the unwelcomed one. “Just wanted to say that you could easily pass for a couple, unless you both actually are one.” You smirk, raising brows at her remarks. Kana puts her hand in Yoshiro’s, glaring at you with hostility, as if she’s telling you to stay away— but from who, exactly?
Your mind replays her words, something about her baseless accusations piques your interest. Maybe it isn’t a bad idea after all.
“Atsumu,” You say, pouring him a drink as he responds with a short hum. “Be my boyfriend.”
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Slow it down — Ukai Keishin
Content Warnings & wc: angst, mentions of sex ? | 1k
Summary: you just want to know how he feels and he doesn’t want anything more.
At a first glance it’s pretty obvious what the push and pull between the two of you is. But there’s always that inkling in the back of your head that you’re wrong. That you’ve made all of this up in your end.
When you both decided not to put a label on what you had it was mutual. Early into your ever building relationship it seemed like something smart. You wanted to see where this new spark would take you.
“Let’s take it slow” he’d said, and you agreed.
It was different now. Now you found yourself lying awake at night trying to pick apart what exactly this whole thing meant.
The slow mornings with him when the light barely seemed to fill the room were almost unbearable. Tangled in each other’s limbs it was so hard not to let your mind wander, to think up what this could be.
You’d always start out this way, trying to build the confidence to actually ask him what this was. You could believe as much as you wanted but unless you heard it from him it wouldn’t feel right.
“Hm?” He murmured; eyes still closed as his head rest against your chest.
Your fingers play with his hair absentmindedly. Moments like these were so intimate, you almost didn’t need to question it. They’d end just as fast as they started though, and you knew that.
It’d been months of just him. Everything in your head screamed his name, he overran your thoughts so much you nearly dreamt of him.
The reason you’d put off asking was simple. You didn’t want this to end. Even if he wasn’t fully yours; he was sometime and that was enough. It had to be.
“You know how you wanted to take things slow when we first met?”
He opened his eyes now, blinking away the drowsiness weighing down on them before he looked up at you. There was something swimming in them as he stared up, but you couldn’t quite tell what it was.
He didn’t say anything; only nodding softly at your question. The hand that traced patterns against your side stopped as he waited for you to continue.
You could feel a soft tension fill the air around you. You wanted to hold your question in. Staying in the dark could’ve been easy if you’d ignored the burning in your chest every time you thought of him.
“We don’t have to go quick if you’re uncomfortable, that’s okay. I just..” You trailed off trying to find the right words. His gaze burned into yours so deeply you had to drop your eyes, it was too hard to look at him now. “It’s been months. I need to know that were moving somewhere at least.”
He was quiet still. How you’d been feeling was obvious now, it had to be. Ukai wasn’t that dense to not realize what you meant, but his silence was starting to scare you.
In that brief moment his silence was the loudest thing you ever heard. Everything you’d dreamt up about being with him started to feel suffocating.
You’d had this sinking feeling before and it never led to anything good. This time you promised yourself you’d follow your gut feeling if something felt off. You knew it was the right thing to do but you couldn’t help but wonder why it felt so horrible.
“Say something.” You whispered, trying hard to fight against the tears pricking the corner of your eyes.
For a moment you almost found yourself getting lost in the way he looked at you. Hair falling in his eyes as he looked up, he looked perfect. Too perfect.
Images of your short-lived relationship flashed through your head before you could stop them. It had been so good, exactly what you had needed it to be. Maybe that was exactly it.
Maybe you had dreamt up everything you wanted this to be. You’d forgotten what he’d said at the beginning, thinking that you could change his mind.
That’s all he needed to say really. No matter what he did to cover up how he felt, you could see it in his eyes now. He didn’t feel the same for you, despite how hard you wanted to believe be did.
“I’m sorry, I just don’t know.” Ukai spoke up again after a moment and you could almost hear his voice crack slightly. It was fucked up, but you couldn’t help but hope he felt just as awful as you did.
“It’s okay.” You said softly, not able to drop your eyes from his yet. You didn’t know if this was the last time you’d be able to see him like this. In that moment that was all that mattered. He was yours right now, fuck anything else that came next.
You didn’t care about what would happen after he left your arms, even if he’d most likely not come back. You didn’t want to think about it now, it hurt too damn much.
The morning breeze flooded through the windows pushing against the blinds as it filled the room, sending chills down your bare arms.
You dropped your eyes from Ukai now sure that if you looked at him any longer you’d lose hold on the tears that threatened to spill over already. Closing your eyes as your hand found his hair once again, softly running through his soft locks.
“Can we just stay like this for a bit?” He asked, his eyes shutting as well.
You couldn’t say no, you didn’t even want to. It felt like the last time you’d be able to feel like this with him, you wanted to savor it. As fucked up as it sounded.
“Yeah.” You answered even quieter than before, afraid if you said anything else you’d break.
It was quiet for a long time again. Only the sound from outside drifted in through your window as you held him close to you. If you pretended hard enough, you could convince yourself that this wasn’t the end. Even though it was.
“You know I love you, right?” You said so softly he almost didn’t hear you. Hoping desperately he’d say it in return.
His chest knotted tightly as he screwed your eyes shut, arms tightening around you as he tried desperately to believe you.
That was the problem. No matter how hard he tried to love you back, he just couldn’t.
“Yeah I know…”
▪︎Pairings: Kuroo Tetsuroo x Reader, Bokuto Koutaro x Reader, Bokuto Koutaro x Akaashi Keiji and Kageyama Tobio x Hinata Shoyo
▪︎Pronouns: She/Her [Fem!Reader]
▪︎Alternate Universe: Soulmate Au
▪︎Synopsis: Finding out your soulmate rejected the bond to be with someone else feels terrible.
Note: Thankyou for those who supported and loved this fanfiction, you're all probably surprised that I still posted the ending since this is way overdue! I apologize
》 Strangers Masterlist
》 Main Masterlist
8:20 p.m | Onigiri Miya
Akaashi looked up from his phone and adjusted his glasses, looking at the hyperactive male sitting across him as he animatedly chats with his the orange haired teammate.
The dual haired male stopped what he was doing and tilted his head in confusion.
"What's with the face Akaashi?" Bokuto looked at him, curiousity entering his features as the rest of MSBY team and Osamu were absorbed in their own conversation with one another.
Akaashi stared at him as he got lost in those golden eyes. He wondered how they mended their relationship with each other while he still clearly remember how nasty the fall out between them was.
They both learned that they're better off as friends. And that's something Akaashi will probably beat himself up for the rest of his life.
If only he hadn't confessed to bokuto. If only he hadn't kiss him. If only he knew right away they weren't going to last long...
Then maybe Y/n's and Kuroo's wedding invitation won't be showing up in his screen, taunting him.
He looked back at his phone again, gripping it tightly as he shaked his head. They'll probably send Bokuto's invitation too.
"What is it 'Kaashi? Tell meeeee!" Bokuto whined, getting the attention of Hinata, Atsumu, Osamu and Sakusa.
Atsumu raised his eyebrows and leaned closer to Akaashi, tryjng to peek at the words on his phone.
"What is i-"
He didn't get to finish asking the question when he felt a familiar hand slapping him upside the head.
He yelled angrily while clutching it in pain. Osamu merely looked at him as he took off his apron and sat down two seats away from his twin.
"Ya need somethin'?"
Atsumu glared and prepares to tackle his brother. "Jerk! Yer gonna regret this!" He yelled as he tried to grab Osamu who easily dodged.
Akaashi, who was distracted by the fight didn't notice Bokuto leaning down at his phone. He only knew when he heard the clattering of chopsticks
"They're getting married?"
Bokuto's voice was clearly strained as Akaashi saw him look up to prevent anyone from seeing tears welling up his vision.
All the ruckus died down as the air grew tense, they all looked at Bokuto, pitying him. They knew that it was still a sensetive topic for him and none of them know the full story except akaashi and Hinata.
"I think I should head home now." The dual haired male croaked out as he hastily grabbed his things and left, making the rest of the team and Akaashi worry.
"You should probably follow him.. Y/n told me she's having second thoughts about sending him the invitation since..." Hinata motioned to the empty seat and tense atmosphere. Akaashi nodded at Hinata, fully understanding your reasons.
"I apologize.. He saw it because of me.." Akaashi mumbled, "It's fine, Bo san would find out either way." Hinata said as Akaashi left to follow Bokuto.
"Watch where you're going- oh, Bokuto?" Kuroo asked in surprise as he lowered his phone to take a look at his former friend.
Bokuto looked at him, "Oh, Kuroo." He mumbled, gripping his duffle bag with unreasonable force that Kuroo didn't fail to notice.
Just as Kuroo was about to head on his way, he was stopped as Bokuto gripped his shoulder tightly. Not too hard, just enough force to stop the dark haired male.
"Take care of her."
Kuroo looked back, "Isn't that what I've done?? I'm sure Y/n already sent you the invitation. I hope you'd come." Kuroo nods then went on his way.
Bokuto smiled, a bitter tone in his voice. "Hope I'd come to your wedding huh?? You're really trying to kill me, Kuroo."
Out of the corner in his eye, he saw Kuroo stopped in what seems to be your car. He guessed right, you went out of your car and greeted the male with a kiss.
Bokuto's instinct told him to run. The pain was still fresh like it happened yesterday. But the ground seemed to be like superglue, he can't move his feet as reality hits him hard more.
He can't love you like Kuroo does. He knows little about you, except for the fact you're his ex-soulmate.
And most of all— it's probably better to go back the way you both were before.
"Maybe in our next life, it's gonna be us."
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↳ suna rintarou x f!reader ; minors do not interact
↳ sypnosis: Twin flame, the idea that one soul can get split into two bodies — the epitome of both an excruciating challenging but yet still the medicine for healing a broken heart. By being the direct reflection of you, he’ll succeed, but he’ll also lose in fault of you — all of you, from your deepest insecurities, fears, and shadows, to the greatest of strength, strive, and destiny ... just like the yin and yang — an euphoric oneness, you and Suna Rintarou are bound by soul... but would that be enough to keep you and him together till the ends of time, and then some more just like how you’ve both always promised during the tender nights under the moon.
surely, no one can be so foolish to believe...
↳ cw: characters will be OOC, explicit sexual content, angst, fluff, olden ages, more to be announced...
↳ chapters: one ♰ two ♰ three ♰ four ♰ five
heh this is for sunarin’s birthday ( ,: hope this will be something you’ll enjoy! if not, i’ll just indulge by myself ^^ just me and my sunarin (and if i can’t finish this by his birthday.... i’m sorry, this was a super spontaneous decision)
update: I forsure won’t be able to finish this by his birthday…. But at least we have a small mini series ( ,: I’ll post a short bday whip for him on his actually birthday 🥳 how about that???
PAIRING: tōru oikawa x gn!reader
GENRE: lowkey angst, reminisces of memories
oikawa never liked the cold.
he hated the puffy winter jackets that he could never move in. he hated the colds he get, and how his nose would always run. he hated how he couldn't get his iced drinks, or how fast his food would get cold.
he always loved the sun, feeling the warmth on his skin. he loves how bright it shines and how it warms him up. he loves the beach but hates the cold water.
oikawa has never hated the sun, and he's always adored the summer.
all those memories with him, laying in bed together, when the streets were covered in snow and ice. all those moments when oikawa talked about how he'd move somewhere far away where the cold could never reach him. some place where he didn't have to wear those silly expensive winter jackets.
some place where he could go to the beach all day and not have to worry about any responsibilities.
but you always loved him in the winter.
you loved how he'd always want to stay in bed, how he'd come into the bedroom with two warm cups of hot chocolate where he'd add whipped cream and a cinnamon stick. or when he'd try and zip up his jacket but could never seem to figure out how.
you loved making soup for him after coming home with his nose running and red, then sitting by the tv re-watching all your favourite movies together cuddled in blankets with the lights off and fairy lights on.
you loved how he'd always pull you into a hug on the street because of how cold he was, and how he'd complain that his coffee doesn't taste as good without the ice.
you have always loved the extra special moments and memories that the winter brought,
which is why you grew to resent the summer.
the hot air reminding you of everything that drove him away.
how the warmer air seems to be better than all those memories the two of you could have made together.
it selfish to wish he hadn't gone off to pursue the life he had always dreamed of, to wish that he would have chose you over his passion, to wish that he would have chosen the seasonal icy air that he never enjoyed for you.
you wish he would have chose to freeze.
— miya atsumu x gn!reader
summary: Atsumu receives an invite to play overseas.
a/n: I sent this to @/yurens as an Anon way back when, but just wanted to have this posted in my writing blog, hehe. I have thoughts on expanding on this, but they’ll just stay as thoughts for now.
Imagine Atsumu finally being invited to go overseas. He’s excited, elated, the stars shining in his eyes. He turns to you, because who else would he share the news with first other than you.
He picks you up, spins you around in a tight hug. Oh, he’s always been like this, so warm and bright and captivating.
Atsumu is like the sun, a big and imposing presence in a vast galaxy, and you’re just another planet that’s unconditionally, uncontrollably pulled into his orbit.
So when you hear the words dance on his lips, your heart sinks just a little and you feel terrible because you can’t return the same ardour that radiates from him.
Because while he sees an infinity of possibilities in his future, all you see is your future with him slipping away, slowly being consumed by an inescapable, inevitable black hole.
— with love, @oomura
| Stop Me |
The breeze shifts your hair over your shoulders, the fresh smell of blooming flowers providing some comfort for your nerves. The soft glow of the sun cast golden shadows across Iwaizumi, his beauty tenfold under the setting sun. The long wait for practice to finish was well worth it to glimpse his dishevelled hair and the sharp set of his jaw.
He stood before you in all his glory, appearing relaxed with his hands stuffed in his pockets, bag slung haphazardly over his shoulder, still you felt like a mere peasant under his gaze.
You thought asking him to meet you here was nerve wracking, but it was nothing compared to the anxiousness you feel now, especially with his full attention set and trying to read you. Your throat tightened.
Although you already held some degree of fondness, through spending time and developing a stable friendship your affection grew. His carefree grin tugs at your heart when he makes a joke, the way he fiercely defends you from Oikawa’s teasing makes you smile goofily. With every new thing you find out about him, the deeper he burrows into your heart.
Opening your mouth, nothing comes out. His eyes follow every movement, eyebrow raising in a mixture of concern and confusion. With a quiet clearing of your throat you start with something simple, to start an easy, casual conversation to work from.
“Oikawa’s extra flamboyant today,” you laugh thinking back to the dramatic brunette who was being extra obvious at your arrival, giving you a thumbs up behind his best friends back.
“Oh,” understanding colours his tone, “Is that what you want to talk to me about? Oikawa?”
“No! No! No!” You hurriedly assure him, not giving him the chance to get the wrong idea.
Your wild flurry of hand movements makes him even more curious, his head tilts cutely, “What is it then?”
“I-I…” You play with your fingers trying to weave the words together in the perfect way.
“C’mon,” he laughs, it sounds strained, “It can’t be that bad.”
With a deep breath and a calm mind, the words that blurt out surprise even you.
“I really like you.”
The birds chirped in the distance breaking the stunned stillness. Iwaizumi stares at you, at a loss for words and suddenly you want to escape, to be anywhere but here. After scrutinising every twitch of his face, trying to decipher his thoughts, his enduring silence the answer you’re looking for.
You finally paint on a smile, squaring your shoulders back, “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you!”
His statuesque demeanour persists as you wave him off brightly, as if he hadn’t just crushed your heart with his expression alone, “I’ll see you next Monday!”
The butterflies in your chest turn into something less pleasant as they claw at your stomach. Trying desperately to convince yourself it’s just a bad dream, your eyes burn with every step. You make your way out of the school field, he doesn’t stop you.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN : i have to go !
after finding out about your crush on his brother, atsumu comes up with a “brilliant” plan: fake date him to make osamu jealous. you realize that this plan was a mistake when osamu starts dating someone else.
series m.list | previous & next
you’re nervous to see osamu. everytime you think about him something in your heart breaks each time. you wish there was some way that you could have prevented him from ever meeting hana. unfortunately she forces her way into your life in any way she can.
your knee began to shake with nervousness as you wait on a bench outside of the park that osamu told you too meet him at. you were surprised. the only time you two come here is for your picnic “dates”, is what he always called it. you never saw it as dates though, it never felt like a date.
“y/n.” you look up to see osamu walking towards you, a bag in his hand. your heart rate picks up a bit. you forgot what it feels like to be near him as you haven’t hung out in a while.
once he reaches you, you stand up and he drops his bag on the bench before pulling you into a hug. his arms wrap around your waist and he buries his face into your neck. your arms wrap securely around his neck.
“i missed you.” he whispers.
you close your eyes, soaking in his touch.
“missed you too.”
he pulls away, smiling down at you. he picks up his bag, which likely contains snacks for the picnic.
he links arms with you and you both walk towards your usual picnic spot. as you’re about to sit down in the grass you feel him tug your arm to stop you.
he unzips his jacks and lays it out flat on the grass for you to sit on. you finally sit down and he sits down facing you.
“okay, i got your favorites of course.” he opens the snack bag and pulls out your favorite drink and snack.
“and i made you some of your favorite onigiri.” you smile adoringly at him. you love when he cooks for you. you often tell him that his food is the best you’ve ever had. he hates when you say that though, he thinks you’re lying to make him feel good.
you excitedly take the container of food from him. as you’re about to take the first first bite of onigiri you stop yourself. you came here for one reason and you want to get it over with first. osamu looks at you, a confused look covering his face.
“can we talk first? before we eat?”
osamu nods silently.
“yeah. i also have something to say. you go first though.” he motions for you to continue.
you fiddle with your hands, not sure how to start the conversation.
“me and tsumu aren’t dating. we never were.” you finally blurt out.
osamu open his mouth to say something but abruptly closes his mouth. his face twists in confusion.
“what? why did you say he were then?”
you sigh quietly. you dreaded getting to this part of the conversation. your confession.
“samu im in love with you-“
“samu!” you hear a loud voice from behind you. your eyes dart to the person that runs past you to osamu. your eyes widen in surprise when you realize that its hana.
“hana? what are you-“ she cuts him off as she falls down towards him, smashing her lips to his.
you jump back in surprise. once you realize what’s actually happening you can feel you heart break into a million pieces. you don’t realize it osamu is struggling to pull away from the kiss. in your eyes it seems as if he’s enjoying it.
you silently stand up and start to walk away. osamu finally breaks from the kiss, successfully pushing hana off of him. he jumps to his feet in attempt to reach you as fast as he can.
“y/n! wait.” he grabs your arm and tries to pull you back towards him.
“it’s okay you spend the rest of the picnic with your hana. i have to go anyways.” you send him a half hearted smile. he doesn’t miss the way tears are threatening to spill.
“no. i want-“
“i have to go samu.” you pull your arm from his grasp and head towards you car, leaving osamu standing in shock.
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XXI: Your Truth and My Truth
Suna x Reader smau
♡ You were particularly fond of collecting antiques and by some twist of fate, you ended up buying an antique box filled with mysterious love letters. Trying to find the person who wrote the letters, unexpected detours and bonds were made. Something more was found. And even more at risk of being lost.
Content & Warnings: angst, fluff, alcohol drinking, suggestive (and possibly sexual) themes, college setting, use of curse words, mutual pining eventually. Please tell me if I missed any! Pls ignore time stamps! Excuse my typos too
When you heard a familiar engine stop in front of your house, you tensed. You were the one who asked to talk but if you were being honest with yourself, you felt like throwing up instead. You were nervous and still shaken and hurt with everything that happened in the past two weeks. But you didn’t want to drag it for longer either. You mindlessly walked out your house and towards suna’s car. He immediately got out once he saw you nearing, he then opened the door to the passenger’s seat, helping you in before he went to his side. And it was quiet. For a while, no one spoke. The tension and unsaid thoughts hung heavy in the air. “So…” suna finally spoke. “Where are we going to go?” Without looking at him, you replied. “Just drive around, if that’s okay” ; “of course, just tell me if you want to stop over of go somewhere along the way” you nodded at him, giving him a go signal to start driving to somewhere neither of you knew.
“Rin.. I’m going to be honest” you spoke softly but without affection anymore. “This, I wouldn’t be here had osamu not convinced me but I guess he’s right. We have to talk a lot about this and whatever it is we have. Or had.” Suna tensed at the words you last uttered. You could visibly notice how his hold on the steering wheel tightened. “And I’m sick of trying to figure it out so tell me. What happened back at your place?” You finally took a peek at him. “I was shocked. I didn’t expect her to come straight to my place and I didn’t know what to do or say. I… felt guilty. And I didn’t want to hurt her because I’m still kinda responsible for what happened to her.” Of course. It was impossible for him to just get over everything but even osamu told you, that you’re not responsible for the things you have no control over. In his exact words “I know suna is still hurt and healing, but it’s not your obligation to fix him. Especially not when you’re breaking yourself trying to put him back together.”
You took a deep breath, preparing to unload weeks worth of thoughts and emotions. “Think about it. How I was on a date with atsumu when I met you. It was supposed to be him but I somehow ended up gravitating towards you. How I bought your box instead of all the other dozen antiques at the sale. And how after two years, mayu finally came back. It’s so.. so mean and what the fuck are the chances for those things to happen one after the other. Doesn’t it freak you out how much all of this is saying that we should just let this go. Whatever this is.” Suna stared at you. Dumbfounded and hurt. To be frank, to suna, what happened wasn’t as severe as you were seeing it. From his point of view, all he had to do was to own up to his mistakes, straighten everything out with mayu, and then he can finally come back to where you two left off before this mess started. “yn, where is all this coming from?” He spoke in his softest voice, one reserved only for you, but not like you knew that. “I just…” he looked at you expectantly, eyes scanning your troubled expression, one he wished he wasn’t the cause of but he knew better. “Mayu talked to me”. What once was a soft expression on his face turned into concern. “And I just want to say that I’m telling you this, not because I want to one up her or any of that petty shit. I’m telling you this because you deserve to know” suna simply nodded, letting you continue.
“Mayu asked me to back off.”
• Hi T_T I know it’s been nearly two months since I last updates but things just kept happening here and there and I always had to take some time off just as when I was about to be free :/ thank you for waiting!
• 4 chapters to go!
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↷ actor! sakusa kiyoomi x fem! reader ⋯
; in the end it was all an act
nui's notes: uhm haikyuu tags are confusing it's been so long wtf
"And. . . CUT! That's a wrap everyone!"
The director's voice boomed throughout the entire set pulling Kiyoomi away from his trance, his eyes locked on yours from across the set deep in his thoughts.
It's the last day of shooting, the last day you'd see each other, after this you would leave and part ways not as lovers but as colleagues.
Everything was unusual for Kiyoomi, the feeling of longingness, falling in love with his on screen partner, it was all new.
When he began working he decided to put his feelings at the back of his head to focus on his career, which his manager is ever so grateful about. But with you, Kiyoomi wants to become greedy.
Kiyoomi wants to be yours.
The chemistry and passion he felt was the same off screen, but he knows he couldn't be more to you.
If Kiyoomi was hard and determined then he could say the same things about you. The industry is hard enough for males let alone females, and he respected that.
Akin to the bright sun that you are, Kiyoomi knew he would be nothing but the moon, chasing to see your light and shine from afar.
PAIRING : Suna Rintaro x Reader. Atsumu Miya x Reader.
GENRE : Angst. PAIN PAIN PAIN.
TAGS : College AU. Modern Story. Heartbreak. Angst. Fluff. Parties. Cheating.
A/N: super mean Suna in this one. He is not a good man in this.
“How are you and Suna? Fighting again?” Monica asks. I turn towards her from the kitchen counter, “No, what makes you say that? We are fine.”
Her face drops a little bit, “I- I thought you were broken up again?”
You shake your head and pull her to the side, “Why do you think that?”
She takes your hand into hers and squeezes, “You need to leave him, Y/N. You deserve more, love.”
You shake your head and swallow before asking her again, “Tell me why you think that.”
She looks over her shoulder and starts, “He was on campus with another girl a few days ago.”
Shivers cover your spine but you wave her off and smile softly, “Probably a friend, or even the volleyball team manager, she is so sweet. I met her-”
“Y/N, he was kissing her. Just like the last time.”
You step back and your hip hits the counter. You look at your feet with tear filled eyes.
You manage to breathe out, “Oh.”
You cross your arms in front of your chest, as if that would help soften the blow of utter pain that just ripped your heart in two. For the third time, you think. He said he would never do it again. He promised you. He said you were all he needed. You look back at your best friend.
“I’ll talk to him, thanks Mon.” You stare into her deep black eyes. You know. She wants to say more. She wants to tell you to grow up and leave him, but instead she pulls you into a strong hug before kissing you square on the forehead. Monica understands that you need to make the decision for yourself, because if you don’t, you will regret it. Forever, because it is him. How could you make that decision so easily? It’s Rin.
“I will be here for you and you make the decisions you need to.” She stares at you for a serious second. Then she takes your arm and pulls you into the living room of this small house. Everyone was dancing and singing along with one another. The lights were dimmed so far that you could barely see Monica’s face. But her grip on you was tight and you know that she would never let go.
Once you make it to the center of the crowd, you move to the song with Monica and a tall boy appears behind you.
His blonde hair falls over his eyes as he whispers into your ear, “You here alone, Y/N?”
You look back over your shoulder at him, his eyes look sincere and kind, something you aren’t used to. You think of where Rin even is right now. Based on what Monica told you, for the third time, he is probably upstairs in a bedroom with a girl that isn’t you. You nod to Atsumu. His grin brightens into a smile and you lean back onto him. His chest is pressed onto your back and his mouth finds your neck. His hand carries a red solo cup, filled with drink. He holds it above you as you dance against him slowly and sensually. You feel alive. You feel happy. Every thought of Rin disappears from your mind as you turn to face Atsumu and drape your arms over his shoulders. Atsumu moves you against his chest and his hand snakes around your hips. You feel the heat of everyone around you causing you to falter in your steps. Luckily, Atsumu holds you flush against him to keep you from falling. He smiles down at you and you gleam up at him. His demeanor is completely different from what you have known since as long as you can remember. You press the side of your face against his chest and close your eyes, taking in the beauty of being cared for. The warmth of his hands against your bare back feels safe. You just weren’t expecting to have it come crashing down so quickly when you opened your eyes. Suna Rintaro is at the bottom of the stairs with a drink held up to his mouth, frustrated green eyes focused solely on you. The two of you hold each other's gaze and Suna lets go of the banister where he was standing. He sets the cup down and walks towards you. You close your eyes and try to revel in the moment again. All you hear or feel is the sound of your own heartbeat thumping. You suddenly feel a strong grip on your arm and you are pulled from the safety of Atsumu’s arms. Your black dress rips at the seam where it draped over your thighs. The satin fabric is torn and you look up at Rin. He stares at Atsumu lividly.
“You ripped her dress, dick.” Atsumu nonchalantly remarks.
“I can rip it all I want.” Rin snidely grins and pulls you into him, his hand gripping your hip.
You shift because of the grip and how it hurts you. You lean into Rin to get him to release it a bit.
“You’re hurting her.” Atsumu stares at Rin sharply. His tone is more aggressive now.
“We are leaving. Stay away from her Tsumu.” Rin darkly says with a grin before taking my arm and leading me out of the house. You gently wave goodbye to Monica, who is standing with Atsumu now. You stare at your feet the entire way to his car. He opens the door for you and when you get in, he says, “If you didn't dress like that, that shit wouldn’t happen.” And he shuts the door.
“Sorry, Rin.” You apologize when he starts the car up. He says nothing.
You drive off with him and his eyes drop to your legs numerous times throughout the ride. You turn your legs towards the door and stare outside. The city is bright with lights and as you stare into the sky, you see neverending buildings. The crescent moon shines over them all. You smile at the moon and think to yourself, if someone is there, I hope you have the courage that I don’t.
You look back and Rin is looking at you. His eyes look tired and soft. His gaze falters and he focuses back on the road. You slowly take one of his hands from the wheel and he interlocks his fingers in yours. He kisses the back of your hand and you rest your head back onto the seat in silence.
When he pulls into the apartment building’s parking lot that you live in, he hands you your purse and comes to your side of the car. You take his arm and walk with him inside. He leaves his plaid jacket at the front door and leans against the couch.
He rests his arms across the back of the couch and stares at you while you remove your shoes.
“I am going to get changed.” You tell him while rubbing your palms together.
You live in a studio apartment, meaning no privacy other than the bathroom. You take your pajamas out of the dresser and start walking to the bathroom when you feel his soft touch on your wrist.
“Change here.” He whispers into the crook of your neck.
You gulp, leading to him reassuringly nodding at you. He smiles softly and you fall all over again. His sweet eyes. His loving gaze. Nothing like the party Rin. He is your Rin, for now.
You take your dress straps off and you slide it off, with his help. He takes it and folds it for you before placing it on the dresser. When he turns back to you, he sees you with your hands covering your chest and stomach. You avoid holding eye contact and he reaches out for your hands. You take his hands and he pulls you into him. His black shirt and black jeans are quite similar to your black undergarments. You stare up at him and reach for his jaw. He presses the palm of his hand against the back of yours against his cheek.
You press a loving kiss into his cheek, “I heard that you’ve been out with some other girl.”
He drops his head into the valley of your chest, pressing soft kisses.
“Some other girl?” He asks.
You breathlessly ask, “You wouldn’t do that, would you? Be with another girl?”
He steps towards you and you step back, you allow him to lay you back on the bed.
He tauntingly asks, “Would I?”
He lazily props a pillow behind your head and he kisses your temple before moving down to your stomach and then your thighs.
“Is it true?” You feel how small and miniscule you sound. Like a child that has no clue how to make the situation better. No clue how to understand what is coming next. You need Rin but it seems as though he does not need you.
He hums into your thighs,“It’s true, but I can't stop thinking about you and me.”
You feel your heart tighten in your chest. The sight of his strong palms around your legs, hoisting them up, makes your stomach flutter simultaneously.
“Okay.” You barely whisper and he straightens to meet your eyes. He hovers over you, his eyes never leaving yours. He kisses your lips with a gentle motion. His lips barely even grazed yours but he kept his eyes open and watched you close yours. When you opened your eyes, he cracked a close lipped smile.
“You are mine.” He says with the same smile.
“Do you think I am good enough?” You ask with a short breath. His hand is roaming your legs slowly.
“You are.” He nods.
“Okay.” You nod and close your eyes.
He removes his shirt and you feel his bare chest on your skin, heat flaring between you.
“It’ll be okay.” He whispers to you in your ear.
He knows he should let you go. Let you be with someone who knows better than to treat you so badly. He knows he hurts you and he knows he is a horrible boyfriend. Rin wants to do more for you but he just cannot bring himself to commit to it. He loves you but he loves his freedom. He wants you but he wants to be free from any restraints. You aren’t any better, you’re easily giving that to him. You make it so easy for him. With your “Okays.” If he’s being honest, he wishes you would tell him to stop. He wants you to tell him to leave and get as far away from you as possible. It is a full circle. You always end up forgiving him and it all happens again. You are his but he isn't yours. Suna shakes his head, shaking away the thoughts. You don’t know why, but you sob when he says this. You let out a strong and heaving sob. He rubs his hand over your forehead and smiles at you. Then he is hugging you through your sobs. He holds you.
“Okay.” He kisses you and you brush it all away once again.
Why? Because it is Rin. Nothing could change the way you feel about him.