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#haikyuu comforting
ilovebokutokoutaro ยท 2 years
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๐—ฆ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ด๐—บ๐—ฎ
Oikawa x reader/ part 1 / part 2
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๐–๐š๐ซ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ: ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ญ, ๐ฎ๐ง๐ซ๐ž๐ช๐ฎ๐ข๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž, ๐ก๐ฎ๐ซ๐ญ, ๐ง๐จ ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ, ๐œ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐ , ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ, ๐š ๐ฅ๐จ๐ญ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ, ๐ญ๐จ๐ฑ๐ข๐œ ๐›๐ž๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ (๐ข ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ๐จ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐š ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ, ๐ข ๐๐จ๐ง'๐ญ ๐ฆ๐ž๐š๐ง ๐ก๐ž'๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ๐ฑ๐ข๐œ)
โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข
"๐ข ๐๐จ๐ง'๐ญ ๐ซ๐ž๐ ๐ซ๐ž๐ญ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ก๐ข๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ซ๐ž๐ ๐ซ๐ž๐ญ ๐ฐ๐š๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ก๐ข๐ฆ"
โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข
Oikawa regretted it the second he woke up, he felt dread pick up at his skin as he saw your body lie next to him. Your hands held his arms with a desperation and it was as if you knew he'd leave. It was as if you knew he lied to you. His fingers slowly brushed the lose strands of hair behind your ear and his breathe hitched at the redness under your eye.
You looked so pretty to him.....but not pretty enough. You looked so lovely to him.....but not lovable enough. And even if he knew walking out of that room meant end, he couldn't help but pull his arm out of you grasp, he couldn't help but slide back into his clothes before he gathered his stuff up from the room. The small urge to stay pricking up at his heart had him folding your clothes and resting them on the edge on the bed.
A sigh left his chapped lips as he felt tears building up in his eyes, it wasn't his fault....how could he resist when you begged him like that...but he couldn't do anything more for you. He found himself walking out of the room then the apartment then out of the street your small apartment lied in.
And each step got heavier but he knew you weren't good enough for him, she was better. His feet carried him to her apartment and then he was banging his fists at her door. Before he could process he was already pulling her into his chest, holding her in his arms as he cried about how much he loved her and how he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't deal with relationships and even if he liked you, being with you wouldn't do him any good. He was too scared to make any efforts into being with you and maybe this was why he sat holding someone else's hand while secretly glancing at you.
Your eyes looked droopy, as if you were tired of something and he blamed you for not talking to him, a small fury building at the fact you weren't asking him to come back. You loved him, you said. So how could you forget him so easily? He watched as you dug your nails in your palm while he laughed with her. And he felt a sense of accomplishment when your eyes bubbled up with tears.
He couldn't love you but he couldn't just let you go either and it would be a lie if i said you weren't getting tired of him. It was starting to fade away slowly, the love was turning into hate and at this point you didn't care what happened to him. Even tho you knew he had power over you, you knew you couldn't let him overpower the will to leave.
The past few months were hard to you and anyone who told you to just move on and be happy that it is not as hard as you were making it should be punched directly into the face. Except the fact no one actually knew about anything oikawa had done to you, you could do nothing. Even if you were to sit there and scream for ages you knew he wasn't the one you needed anymore, the hopes that things could have been different still clinged to your heart.
But you knew better, you knew it wasn't him that you craved anymore, no more pain, no more of him. That's why maybe sipping at your fav drink while you chatted away with your friends as he side eyed your figure to get just any reactions from you didn't bug you anymore.
You had come to accept the fact no matter how loud you screamed or how hard you begged he would never hear you. He chose not to understand and you chose not to make him understand.
At first oikawa felt okay just by seeing you tearing up at how he held her, slowly the adverse reactions changed to indifference, and he enjoyed it throughout untill he found you slipping too far away from his grasp. He couldn't change things if he wanted to and he knew, but the rage of knowing you weren't in love with him anymore...just....just struck him so hard.
"i need to use the restroom~" you whined, as your friend clinged to your arm, not letting you go, your attempts futile. Oikawa didn't like the way you stood up with much efforts, he didn't like the way every other person there teased you and the guy who clinged to you. 'Ooohhh's and whistles echoing through the room as he asked for a kiss in return to letting you go. Your face flushed as you hit his head, yanking your hand as you rushed off to the restroom laughing.
Oikawa could feel his hands burning to rip that guy's throat apart and he huffed at the way you looked like you were having the time of your life, you were supposed to love him and only him. How could you move on so quickly.
"he's adorable" you giggled drying your hands before opening the door to the restroom open, only to be pushed back inside, the sound of door locking echoing through the small room. "Oikawa?" You grumbled, hissing at the way he harshly grabbed your arm. "Let me fucking go." You warned as his grip tightened. "Didn't glare at that lil hoe of yours like this when he was all over you though" he growled, pushing your body back against the wall.
Your movement stopped, all the attempts to get out of his grip halting and then you half scoffed half laughed, looking at him as if he's gone crazy. "What the actual fuck do you not get in minding your own motherfucking business." You didn't remember the last time you talked so rudely to someone, not untill today. Your hands pushed at his chest, making him let go of your arms as he stumbled a few steps backwards.
"i don't have anything to say anymore oikawa- even if i do...... isn't the only thing you want to hear is me crying and apologising? Everything is always my own fault afterall..." You chuckled, eyes dropping as he gulped audibly, your voice was barely above a whisper and he only realised how you scratched up your skin when you felt sad or nervous, how your lips turned down and he suddenly felt really really aware of how much he has utterly destroyed you.
With that you were out of his sight again, and by the time he collected himself and reached the hall you were gone. You weren't here anymore and even as he sat with his gf hands in hands he still felt his heart turning into knots at the hopeless look you had on your face.
And after everything he could only apologise, but then again what would he apologise for? Was there any apology that could rip off the trauma he sewed so painfully to every inch of you skin?
Tears finally bubbled up in your eyes as you trudged past the stony pathway, falling freely yet again after months. You couldn't keep yourself from sobbing and you didn't want to. "Why does he not leave me tf alone?" you cried kicking a stone on your way, your soft cries pouring out everything you buried deep inside your chest.
You wished you could tell someone you wished you could cry harder, you wished the pain would vanish but you knew the moment his touch burned your skin. When your heart throbbed again, and maybe he really did care and at the same time you knew the moment you go back, he wouldn't.
It was all about everyone else but you, it was about him, it was about her, but never about you. You never really mattered anyway.
Why did he have to go ahead and date your only friend? Who could you go to after this? Even if you felt like dying you really wouldn't have anyone- actually not. "Oh god-" you rushed to pull out your phone as you remembered you did have someone maybe to help you throughout this.
"please pick up-" you sobbed out as a few rings passed by. "Hello?" You heard from the other side and suddenly all words felt stuck in your throat. "Y/n?" The voice muttered, lacing with concern and it had you breaking down further. "Haji-" you cried, sobs wrecking through your whole body. "Oh god- what happened?" Iwaizumi panicked through the other side and you felt more breathless as you cried throughout the walk home, with iwaizumi telling you he was here and would be at your place in a few minutes.
You cried incoherent words to him and the moment you saw him standing in front of your house with the phone pressed against his ear, you let out the loudest cry and ran to him jumping into his arms the second he processed you were here.
"oh my-" he groaned stumbling but catching you through the jump regardless. "It fucking hurts so bad- i hate him so much." You sobbed and iwaizumi could finally tell what this was all about.
"let's go inside?" He asked and you nodded against his chest, refusing to let him go. He chuckled, picking you up in his arms as he walked to the door, fetching the key from you before pushing the door open. He finally put you back down as he reached the show racks. "Why are you even wearing these heels?" He grumbled, pushing off his shoes as he watched you struggle with yours.
These heels were a gift given to you by iwaizumi's mother and as beautiful as the heels were they were very hard to put on and get out of. The moment you finally pushed the heels off you were back into jumping on iwaizumi again. Feeling your heart finally ease up through the pain.
"oh god what tf did this dumbass do behind my back-" iwaizumi growled pulling you to sit on the couch. "Water?" He asked and you hummed to which he nodded and walked towards your kitchen. Having been at your place far too many times to know his way inside.
And the moment he left, you felt your nails digging up in your palms again, which was also the reason you rushed off after him and were now sitting on the kitchen counter as he plopped on a chair he dragged near you.
"so?" He started and you sighed, fidgeting with the glass resting against your palms which he pulled out of your grasp and put his hand there instead.
"i- i don't know where to start-" you choked and iwaizumi caressed your hand, passing you a sympathetic smile at which tears flooded your vision again. "As you know- things between me and......to- oikawa haven't been so well, when we got into the same college, we found some new friends and- and he has been- idk? So mean to me since then. Treating me like shit and-" you were cut off with a squeeze on your hand as iwaizumi mumbled a quick "have you confronted him yet?" His voice low and you knew he was mad, not at you tho.
"yes- so many fucking times and he slept with me haji, he fucking slept with me after everything i told him, after everytime i told him how much it hurt, after telling me my fucking feelings were invalid, he never understood me and I'm tired ik he never would, he doesn't even try and you know the irony? He went ahead and dated my closest friend here right after, like literally the morning after fucking up my guts. I knew he was lying- but but he said he won't leave so many times- and i told him he would- i told him he would leave and he kissed me telling me he won't. Then just as I'm finally getting rid of all these messed up feelings he goes ahead and talks to me as if i belong to him- he gets jealous of someone else touching me, when all this time he eased at watching me tear up and rip my skin as he held someone else and i feel so fucking us-ed."
"oh my god" iwaizumi sighed, standing up as he pulled you into his chest again. "It fucking hurts so bad" you sobbed against his shoulder, hands fumbling to grip his shirt tight as he stroked your head in hopes of bringing any type of confort to you.
Your words may not make much sense to anyone else but you knew iwaizumi would understand, you knew he would understand no matter how messed up the sentences had to be. "Y/n- hey come on look at me." Iwaizumi confronted, pulling away as you looked at him and he felt his heart aching at the sight of your bloodshot eyes, nose and cheeks flushing as tears flowed freely down your cheeks.
"you should've called me earlier i would've kicked his dick off" iwaizumi sighed, wiping your cheeks off the tears. "Haji i feel so dirty, no matter how many times i wash myself off i still feel his touch everywhere, i feel so fucking dirty-" you sobbed, bringing up your knees to your chest as you sobbed again. Putting a distance between hajime and you because you felt like he'd find you disgusting, just like you did.
And iwaizumi was quick to call oikawa and you panicked at the sound of ringing. "Ha- iwa no!!" You squealed and iwazumi grabbed you hands, motioning for you to shut up. "I love you." He whispered to you as he pecked your forehead.
"oikawa what the actual fuck?!" Iwaizumi growled through the phone and the way his voice went so deep you knew he'd rip oikawa's throat off if the said man was here. "Iwa-chan!!! What's wrong?" Oikawa huffed playfully and you chuckled. "Don't you fucking iwa chan me right now, you know exactly what you did." Iwaizumi huffed, holding both your trembling hands in his one as he gave you a warning glace to stop scratching yourself up, which you immediately obeyed.
"oh. I thought you were close to my house or something but it's just about y/n isn't it?" Oikawa said and you hated the way you could listen through their convo, a choked sob making it's way past your lips at his cruel choice of words.
"what the actual fuck are you saying, do you even fucking hear yourself oikawa?!" Iwaizumi yelled and panicked at the way your hands trembled even harder against his.
"I'll be back in a second." Iwaizumi pressed his lips against your forehead once again as he left to your bedroom and shut the door close, leaving you alone to your thoughts. And suddenly all the things you refused to accept came in easy to you.
Oikawa really didn't care about you and you knew it now, you sat there pulling at your skin as his words echoed past in your head to which you put your hands against your ears, sobs yet again managing to take full control of you.
"come with me" iwaizumi growled as he pulled you off the counter suddenly, putting on his hoodie over your head as he pulled you out of the door to your house, and locked the door before rushing to his car and sitting you down.
"where are we-" you started but iwaizumi shut the door close hard, "let me." He stated after getting into his seat, pulling both your seatbelts to safety before driving off in a hurry.
The ride was silent with your thoughts burying every inch of you in disgust. "Ugh" you groaned, feeling like throwing up as you remembered the way he held you that night.
Iwaizumi passed you a concerned glance as you doubled over in nausea. And before you knew the car suddenly stopped, iwaizumi coming out to pull you out of your seat as he rushed off to somewhere, you barely being able to look up because you knew what was going to happen.
"oh- iwa chan!" Oikawa greeted and your head ached at his cheery voice before you heard a loud slap echo and you finally looked up to see oikawa laying down on the street and your friends freezing in spot. "Y/n?! Oh my god have you been crying? What's going on?" Oikawa's girlfriend gasped rushing to pull you into a hug and you suddenly felt very aware of how you couldn't stop crying.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW?!" Oikawa yelled pushing iwaizumi hard as he stumbled a few steps back and scoffed. "Every fucking thing." Iwaizumi growled and oikawa looked at you with such a stare you wanted to pull his eyes out.
"tooru!" His girlfriend warned and he huffed. "You only know everything from her side, and you're taking sides already?" Oikawa laughed and you couldn't help but bury your face in your friend's neck, refusing to look at oikawa any longer.
"oh? Have you got anything to explain over how you slept with her and told her you won't leave her only to go ahead and date someone else the morning after." Iwaizumi asked actually feeling amused at the audacity.
You quickly pulled your hand up to your ears as your friend hugged you tighter, you could feel her heart thumping against her chest as her hands trembled.
"y/n....?" She whispered, voice shaky and you sobbed out a series of I'm sorry. All your friend now huddling close to you as you shut your eyes close in pain. "She's- NO BABY SHE'S LYING!" Oikawa hesitantly yelled and you could hear the awkward silence before she yelled out a "I CAN FUCKING TELL WHO'S LYING. I knew it was weird how you came to me suddenly and asked me to be your girlfriend, i knew it was weird how you avoided y/n right after we started dating, i knew it was weird how you glanced at her everytime we held hands. How you were so much clingier with me when she was with us. I fucking hate you so much" she cried and you felt your heart aching at the realisation no one was blaming you.
"baby.." oikawa groaned before turning his attention to you, "it was cuz you kept begging, it's all your fault, i get it i was wrong at times, but it was almost always your fault. Even now i bet you might've fed iwa chan with your body, are you jealous iwa chan? That she loves me and not you?" oikawa scoffed and you could actually feel your blood boiling.
"what are you-" iwaizumi started, feeling his heart clenching at the harsh words. He expected a lot of shit from his best friend but this was beyond even his expectations and maybe because oikawa acted exactly how you expected him to you couldn't help but pull yourself out from the circle if people trying to comfort you.
Rushing out of the comforting arms of your friends to tackle oikawa on the ground, "shut up. Shut up. Shut up." You sobbed, slapping, punching him as if it'd end the strorm playing in your head. "UGH I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU SO MUCH" you screamed, punching his face hard enough to make your knucles bleed and iwaizumi had to actually pick your thrashing body up to stop you from breaking his face.
"what did i do- WHAT DID I EVER DO THAT WAS SO WRONG FOR YOU TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS?!" You yelled, pulling your own hair in frustration as iwaizumi let you down. Oikawa laid there on the ground, not moving an inch.
"i hate you too." He finally muttered, standing up to gather his stuff before walking off. One of your friends rushing after him and you immediately turned around to bury your face in iwaizumi's chest.
"I'm so sorry y/n." Oikawa's girlfriend cried, the rest of your friends rushing to soothe you and maybe this was all for the better, maybe cuz you still expected oikawa to not understand that it didn't hurt as much.
And maybe it'll all be okay soon too, what you knew right now was that you didn't love him anymore, it was all just from the trauma of being pulled and pushed around as per his will that you felt so worthless, and maybe with so much support you'd soon get over it too.
Maybe it was really all okay.
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A/n: You all i cried writing this, so many breakdowns, so many times i deleted it to write this over and over untill i felt like it could reflect half of what i felt. I've gone through something like this irl, except the smut part ofc, but it still fucking hurt, most of the lines I've added in both the parts is something he has said to me and honestly there's so much more i could still add, but i couldn't get myself to relive the pain. I've learnt not to blame myself a little of few days ago. That i wasn't responsible for everything he did wrong. That hurting was really valid and that i wasn't wrong for reacting the way i did. It hurt, and i hated the way i was always to blame, i hated the way i kept blaming myself just like he did and never was really there for myself, i punished myself for not being what he wanted so many time untill i couldn't anymore and at one point i was done, done hurting myself for him. I never really got to solve this with him, and he probably gives no fucks about me leaving but I'm thankful. Thankful i left, thankful he doesn't care cuz if he did I'd walk right back into this hellhole.
This story means a whole lot to me and idk I'm just...idk what i feel about all this yet cuz I'm still healing, but I'm thankful for the people who stood by me throughout this and are still helping me gain myself back. This is not my best works and i think it's because writing this took me my everything.
Thank you for reading i love you all.
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onnie-giri ยท 1 month
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best bros here to save the world (through volleyball <3)
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tetsumie ยท 1 year
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"๐˜๐Ž๐”'๐‘๐„ ๐’๐Ž ๐‚๐‹๐ˆ๐๐†๐˜"
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read part 2 here!
pairing: tsukishima x reader & suna x reader
genre: hurt/comfort
a/n: sorry i got carried away writing these ahh i sort of twisted the prompt of "when they call you clingy" into my own sort of thing idk how to explain but hopefully this turned out well :,) also not proofread so sorry about the mistakes! and as always feel free to send me requests and tell me ur thoughts on my writing!
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tsukishima kei
tsukishima, you, and a few of the former karsuno volleyball players decided to have a small little reunion dinner after not seeing each other for so long.
everyone's embracing each other with hugs and to be frank, it's really nice of him to invite you to meet his friends from high school! you're really looking forward to getting to know them and maybe even getting to know your boyfriend a bit more.
as all of you are sitting at the table debating what to order, there's much chit chat between everyone and you swear you haven't seen kei so carefree in a while. sure, he's still throwing his sarcastic, snarky comments but they don't hit too harshly towards his teammates.
they are most definitely used to this.
the food has arrived and way too much wine has been ordered. with their slurred words and pink cheeks, you can tell all of them are going to blackout the moment they all get home.
"kei, so how'd you pull this gorgeous girl?" tanaka asks out of nowhere "ain't no way she fell for your snarky ass personality."
you and him both let out a chuckle and he replied with, "nah, they're just clingy as fuck and i guess they were fun to keep around."
you go quiet and the laughter has sort of died out. but the drinks keep pouring and nishinoya speaks.
"god, you're a fucking asshole," nishinoya chimes. "she's way too good for you.
although the conversation begins to take a turn in a different direction, you can't seem to get his words out of your mind.
clingy. he thinks i'm clingy.
a ball of insecurity starts to form in your stomach and his comment starts the train of overthinking. you keep telling yourself that he's had too many drinks.
yet a part of you is telling you that drunk thoughts are sober words.
how long has he thought of me as "clingy?"
the small chuckles and laughs that escape your lips have come to a halt and now you're feeling incredibly insecure. you begin to zone out and start chugging down a few glasses of wine to drown out your surroundings.
after a few eventful hours, you and tsukishima decide to grab a taxi and head home for the night. he unlocks the door to your shared apartment and you immediately head into the bedroom to change your clothes, not sparing him a second glance.
tsukishima enters the bed after cleaning up and his arm drapes over your chest. your body goes completely stiff and you're super uncomfortable with his touch, especially after his comment about you being clingy.
the moment you hear his light snores, you slowly remove his arm off your body and turn to face away from him. a feeling of numbness begins to overtake your body and you feel a sense of emptiness within.
the next morning, tsukishima woke up with a horrible headache and he instantly regretted drinking so much last night. he groans and pats your side of the bed and is greeted by just the bedsheets and not you.
grumbling, he got out of bed in search of you and finds you standing by the balcony with a cup of coffee in your hand. in that moment, his heart skips a beat and he's reminded of how much he loves you.
you yelp in surprise when you feel two arms slither around your torso and his chin resting on your shoulder. "good morning baby," he kisses your cheek.
"hi kei," you say curtly.
"what's for breakfast?"
"i just made myself toasted bread with jam. you can just make some cereal or something. i think we still have your lucky charms in the pantry," you tell him.
he pulls away from you and he feels something is off with you. you feel distant.
the feeling is confirmed when the both of you are sitting on the living room sofa while watching the new episode of your favorite reality tv show. kei expects you to come close to him and rest your head on his shoulder like you usually do yet there you are, in his vicinity, but sitting on the other end of the couch, clinging to a throw pillow.
he can't seem to concentrate on the movie when the only thing he can see is you sitting to yourself, gone completely quiet. he doesn't know what's wrong and he can't rack his mind as to what might have happened that made you so distant.
after the movie ends, he kisses your forehead and he feels your body stiffen.
what's going on? i don't know what i did?
he pulls away and looks at you. "y/n, something's wrong," he states.
you refuse to meet his gaze now and your twiddling with your fingers. he seems to have no recollection of what he's said to you last night. although, he might not recall what he said, it's the only thing you can recall in your mind. ever since this morning, whenever, you look at him, the only thing running in your mind is his words, "nah, she's just clingy as fuck and i guess she was fun to keep around."
"we're good," you reply promptly. "don't worry about it."
he grabs your hands and puts them in his which catches you off guard. you love the feeling of his hand in yours but the rational part of your brain wants to pull away, thinking about how he thought you were so clingy.
"listen, i'm not good at this. i'm not good at communicating my feelings but for you, i want to do better. so please, it would mean a lot if you could tell me what's wrong so i can help you and... us."
this is the most genuine you've seen him in a while and although to most, it may have seemed like some half-assed speech but to you, it felt raw and vulnerable.
"ok well," you began. "last night, when we were out with your friends, you were talking with your friends and well, you mentioned something about me. and it made me wonder if you think i'm clingy?"
he was confused. "no, i don't think you're clingy anymore? i don't know what you're talking about?"
the "anymore" in his response to you was something that saddened you a little. he found me clingy yet never told me?
"so you did think i was clingy, right?"
with a deep breath, he began to explain himself, "when we got together, i wasn't really used to... being so close to someone. you would always hold my hand or loop your arm in mine or something. you would always be holding me or touching me and i wasn't sure how i felt it about it at first. i was never one for physical touch so when you began to show that to me, i just... it felt... suffocating."
you're looking into his eyes, swimming with sadness and searching for answers, and he feels a mixture of sadness and guilt as he continues to explain himself.
"but being with you, i've grown to love your touch and honestly, now that i think about it, i don't know what i'd do if you just stopped being yourself and clinging on to me. i would go insane if you stopped."
kei leans in for a hug and you hug him back. you missed holding him like this and well, you just miss him. but now that kei has said all this, you're not sure about anything anymore.
you pull away and tell him, "i'm sorry you couldn't tell me that you were uncomfortable with my touches. i should have asked you how fast or slow you wanted to go and i shouldn't have forced my affection on to you."
"if you want, we can slow down. i understand," you say with a tone of finality in your voice.
"no!" he immediately replied. "it's.. it's not that. you don't force your affection on to me. you never have. i just am awkward with affection and growing up, i've never had it so i'd get super fidgety and that's why i think i felt like you were being clingy. but i love it."
"i love it when you hold my hand when we're walking to the grocery store. i love it when you doodle on my hand with your fingers when we're waiting for the food to come when we eat out. i love it when you tell me about the little stories from work while you're cooking dinner. i love it when you mumble in your sleep and snuggle close to me when it gets cold at night. i love everything about you."
kei was very much out of his comfort zone as he told you all these things and it surprised you that he noticed all these little details. you could tell he was getting embarrassed, considering how his cheeks were turning pink. you couldn't help but let a little smile seep through your facial features.
"you're so sappy," you reply.
"oh shut up."
you both laugh and then he cups your cheek in his hand, rubbing his thumb in circles. "don't ever think you force your affection on me because you never do, okay?"
"okay, kei."
the both of you spend the rest of the day with one another, making comforting memories together that the both of you will fondly remember in the future.
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suna rintaro
you're not even sure how this argument even started. all you can remember is asking suna if he could accompany you to a work party that you were invited to. it was supposed to be a relatively relaxing event with not too much worries yet suna was once again trying to bail out.
"come on rin! it's one party and we never get to go out anymore," you try again for the nth time.
"y/n, jesus, i told you this, i don't want to fucking go! practice is draining me out and the one day i get off, you want me to go to some stupid fucking work party. can't you see that i want to be home?"
"we won't even have to be there that long! i just want you to come with me so you can meet some of my friends and support me. i'm really not asking for much," you counter. "i'm always trying to go to your games to support you from the stands and i'm asking you to do this one thing for me."
"i never fucking asked you to come to my games!" suna's voice began to rise and you felt yourself shrink. you had never seen him so intensely angry before. he was always so nonchalant so seeing this side of him made you nervous. "god, you're just so suffocating with everything. you always wanna do shit together, like jeez, give me a break. you're so fucking clingy sometimes; i just want space."
your mouth snaps shut and you can't find it in yourself to even reply. suna leaves the bedroom and you can head the jangle of his keys and the front door opens and then slams shut. a tear escapes from one eye and then all of a sudden, it's a full blown mental breakdown. you're sitting on the bed, crying off all your makeup.
after your cries turn into sniffles, you call up one of your colleagues, telling them you won't be attending the party. that night, you end up crying yourself to sleep.
suna had come home quite late that night after storming out.
in his head, he admits that the argument had blown up for no reason. but he just really didn't want to see your coworkers. he was cranky, annoyed, and irritated, making him deeply irrational.
as he walks into the bedroom, he sees you fast asleep in your clothes that you were planning to go out in and your makeup smudged all over your face. he felt incredibly guilty.
he messed up big time and he had to fix this. he hoped in the morning, the both of you would wake up together so he could talk it out and apologize.
you wake up the next morning feeling a lot better than last night. you turn to see suna lying in bed and a part of you just wants to run your fingers through your hair. as your fingers hover above his head, you're reminded of his words from last night.
you're so fucking clingy sometimes. i just want space.
your fingers immediately retracted and you decided to get up to start the rest of your day. you didn't want to let his words get to you. he said his opinion and there's nothing much you could do other than give him space. you'd be doing him a favor by giving him that space that he wanted, right?
suna shifts in bed, arm reaching out to your side of the bed, subconsciously. as he pats down your side of the bed, he feels the emptiness and he jolts up out of bed.
he's walking out of the bedroom and he sees you sitting on the couch, watching something on the television.
a sigh of relief escapes his mouth, thanking whatever deity out there that you hadn't left. even if you did, he couldn't blame you for it. he hurt you and there was no denying that.
"hi babe," he casually says alouds and plops on the couch next to you.
"hey."
your tone is cold and to be frank, you could care less than speak to him right now. seeing him is just a constant reminder of how clingy you are and you really don't want to be confronted with the feeling of sadness again.
in an attempt to smooth things over with you, he tries to start conversation in hopes that things will get back to normal naturally and maybe.. just maybe you'll know that he's sorry without him saying it.
"osamu was talking about some new onigiri thing he made and he wanted to drop some off for us to try. should i say yes?" he asked.
"sure."
your responses to his efforts are completely shut down and he's just praying that things get better with time. he reassures himself that things will go back to normal, it's just a matter of time. within a few days, things will be back to normal!
that's what he thought until his first volleyball match of the season came about. as he was standing in the court, his eyes scanned the rest of the stadium for your figure in hopes of finding you wearing his jersey but to no avail, he couldn't find you.
he assumed you were running late or stuck in traffic. no matter what you would be here, right?
but the first set is already over and you're nowhere to be seen. taking a quick break, he texts you:
suna: r u here?
suna: i don't see u in the stands.
it's delivered and suna's back in the court. he's misreading all of the opponent's attacks and his blocks are all being haphazardly done. the only thing on his mind is you.
the EJP coach calls for a timeout and sits him out for the rest of the match. "i don't know what's going on with you but you need to pull it together. your slacking is messing up with the rest of the team," coach berated him and all suna could do was nod his head.
he sat on the bench and immediately grabs his phone to text you.
suna: can you please answer?
suna: or call me? please?
suna: fuck y/n
suna: r u ok?
with no response, concern is etched onto his face. he tells his coach that he has to go and although he's about to suffer hell when he goes to practice tomorrow for dipping, he needs to see you.
you're seeing all of his messages.
you've seen all of them.
and you don't want to respond to a single one of them.
you know he's coming home and he's about to bombard you with questions and you don't want to respond to him. you don't want to come off as clingy again.
you hear the jangle of the keys and prepare yourself.
he opens the door and finds you in the kitchen, making yourself some snacks.
"so where were you today?" he begins.
"at home."
his hands find their way to your waist and he slowly turns you around to look him in the eye. "why didn't you come?"
you sigh in frustration. "i don't know what you want from me. you say i'm clingy and you want some space and on top of that you mentioned how you've never asked me to go to any of your games so here i am respecting your wishes like you asked yet you have the fucking audacity to ask me where i was and why i wasn't with you?"
his hands let go of your waist and he steps back to fully look at you.
"rin, i don't know what you want from me anymore."
suna's mouth opens and then shuts, not sure as to what to say to you. you were more upset about his comment than you let on and now all your anger and frustration was coming out.
"listen, i-"
"no, you listen to me," you interrupt, immediately shutting him up. "all i wanted that night was for you to come to my work party. it's all i wanted. that party was mainly for me because i helped our company reach this new milestone! and i wanted you to come and celebrate with me and my colleagues. is it so much to ask for my boyfriend to come support me?"
"and then you go on to say i'm clingy and do you have any idea how much it hurt me when you said that? when you would talk to me about anything, the only thing going through my head would be the fact that you called me clingy and god, i just wanted to vanish in thin air because i hated knowing that you thought that of me which is why i gave you your space. i kept thinking you just didn't want my affection."
you rest your elbows on the kitchen countertop and put your face in your hands. you finally burst out with all the feelings that have been suffocating your mind. it felt good to finally relieve it all but you could only imagine what was going through his mind. was he mad or upset or did he just not care about my feelings?
all of a sudden, you feel two arms wrap around your torso and kisses to the top of your head.
"love, you're not clingy. if anything, i'm the clingy one. i always want you by my side like at my games or when i go out with my friends or even if i'm just lying in bed. i want you."
he strokes your hair and now you're turning around to look at him again. his eyes are wide and a bit glassy. this is probably one of the first times you've seen emotion on his face aside from his regular snarky remarks.
"i wish i could take back what i said that night but i can't. but please know that i don't know what i'd do without you. i was really upset that night and all i wanted to was just sleep it off. but your insistence to go got me aggravated and i lashed out. you don't deserve that. you never deserve that."
"i want to be the one you wake up to in the morning. i want to be the one you take to all your work parties and events. i want to be the one you tell you gossip with. i want to be the one you have your late night talks with. i want to be the one you end your nights with. i want to be the one you spend the rest of your life with. i want to be yours."
tears started to escape your eyes and your heart was swollen. suna was never one to be so open with his emotions yet here he was opening so much to you. you hug his torso and sob into his chest.
"i love you, i'm sorry," you say.
"i love you too, and i'm sorry too," he replies, kissing the top of your forehead.
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ยฉ tetsumie 2023 all rights reservedย 
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9K notes ยท View notes
fuyuluvr ยท 2 months
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i didn't mean it.
synopsis: your boyfriend says something and makes you insecure.
characters: tsukishima, daichi x gn!reader (implied f!reader for daichi)
warnings: angst to fluff, tanaka and noya are idiots in daichi's parts but when are they not? tsukishima has no filter but when did he ever. also daichi is a canon big boob lover so that inspired this ig
note/s: reuploading my old haikyuu works so don't mind me!
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tsukishima:ย 
the subject you despised decided to hold a graded surprise quiz. needless to say, you did not do so well on the said subject. your mood for the day has leaned towards irritation more than anything. you wanted nothing more but to cuddle with your boyfriend when the day ends.
you walked over to the gym where karasuno was having their practice. sugawara smiled at you and you mustered the most comfortable smile that you can manage to give back, despite your sour mood.
you sat by the audience bleachers, noting how tsukishima looks focused on his practice โ€“ despite the fact he says itโ€™s only just a club โ€“ your mood got a bit better seeing him be discreetly passionate over volleyball.
yachi gave you a shy wave as you caught her eye. you smiled at her, feeling your mood become a bit better when you saw your tall boyfriend.
โ€œ(y/n)-san!โ€ hinata waved and yelled from below, you waved back at your hyper batchmate. the ruckus made tsukishima glance up at you and shoot you a teasing smirk.
you rolled your eyes and went down as he gestured you to go down.
โ€œdid you miss me that much?โ€ he asked as you settled your things down and he flicked your forehead.
โ€œasshole.โ€ you muttered, rubbing the spot where he flicked.
โ€œaw, is my wittle baby hurt?โ€ he sarcastically asked, you rolled his eyes before shoving an energy drink you brought for him towards his chest.
he took it, eyeing it suspiciously. you snorted at his actions.
โ€œi can be a caring s/o, too.โ€
โ€œdidnโ€™t say anything.โ€ you sighed and sat beside him as he uncapped the drink before taking a sip.
โ€œwhatโ€™s got you in a bad mood?โ€ he asked sitting down beside you, the volleyball team taking a break as hinata managed to hit tanaka with a ball to the face.
โ€œitโ€™s nothing, really.โ€ you said quietly, the shame of the failed grade overcoming your thoughts once more.
โ€œit canโ€™t be nothing if youโ€™re not spewing sarcastic remarks at me that much,โ€ tsukishima pointed out. you sighed, knowing your boyfriend was right.
โ€œso, what is it?โ€ he asked again. you purse your lips, before letting out yet another sigh.
โ€œremember ms. yukiโ€™s class?โ€ you asked, he nodded.
โ€œsoโ€ฆ i may or may not have failed the recent exam.โ€ you said quietly, you think he hasnโ€™t heard you. suddenly, an obnoxiously loud laugh came out from your boyfriend.
โ€œms. yukiโ€™s class is the easiest. how did you manage to fail that?โ€ that did not help your mood at all. you stayed quiet, not wanting to answer because you fear that this might lead to a fight. and fighting with tsukishima will probably be the cheery on top to your already terrible day.
โ€œlook, i just got confused with the terms.โ€ you tried to explain yourself.
โ€œhow do you confuse the terms? itโ€™s literally the easiest on that exam.โ€ he continued, still laughing at you.
โ€œdid you lie about studying just to impress me again? remember what happened last time?โ€ his words hurt. you spent most of your time trying to understand the lessons. you know you werenโ€™t exactly the smartest, but you know that you understood the lesson.
โ€œhey, (y/n)? did that exam also dumb down your vocabulary? why arenโ€™t you responding?โ€ he continued taunting you.
you clenched your teeth, trying so hard not to show your irritation.
you were already feeling down, and it hurts even more to know that your own boyfriend is invalidating what you feel.
โ€œtsukishima, please shut up.โ€ you muttered, clenching your fist on your bag.
โ€œaw, now you canโ€™t even talk back? come on. itโ€™s not that big of a deal.โ€ yes. it was a big deal to you. the time you spent memorizing and comprehending the lesson went down the drain as a low score on the test paper greeted you made it a big deal.
โ€œiโ€™m sorry, i canโ€™t be as smart as you.โ€ you said in a small voice, wanting nothing more but to curl up in your room and cry all your emotions out.
at this point it wasnโ€™t the bad grade that frustrated you. it was how your own boyfriend canโ€™t read the room and make your mood even shittier than it already was. it was how he, right off the bat, laughed at your struggle and invalidated all the time you spent on the subject.
โ€œi have to go.โ€ you said, standing up.
โ€œthereโ€™s only a few minutes before practice ends, wait for me and iโ€™ll walk you home.โ€ tsukishima said, finally looking at you. his eyes widened at the sight of your red face and the tears pooling in your eyes.
he was too absorbed into poking fun with you that he didnโ€™t realize he was the only one left laughing.
โ€œ(y/n)-โ€
โ€œokay! everybody, go back to your positions!โ€ daichi yelled out. tanaka was lying down on the floor in a daze while staring at kiyoko who has her hand holding a bag of ice and holding it down tanakaโ€™s face. you stood up and walked out, your face was seen by sugawara who could only give tsukishima a disappointed look.
it was then he knew that he had gone too far.
when practice ended, he basically ran to the direction of your house. yamaguchi was confused at the uncharacteristic action of his best friend. he yelled a small โ€˜get home safeโ€™ before walking with the other team members.
tsukishima felt like shit. he knew that his words were aggressive, but he never knew he would push his limit enough to make you feel bad about yourself. it was the last thing he wanted to do.
at the sight of your house, your mother opened the door and saw the distressed look on tsukishimaโ€™s face.
โ€œtheyโ€™re in their room.โ€ was the only thing she said before tsukishima ran to your room and opened it, only to see you sitting slump on your desk, dried tears were on the sides of your face and you were staring blankly at your notes.
โ€œoi.โ€ tsukishima called out, you turned to look at him with a blank look before turning back to your notebook, wanting to ignore his presence in the room.
he strode over to where you were and closed your notebook. placing it somewhere he knows you couldnโ€™t reach.
โ€œtsukishima, give me back my notebook.โ€ you said, he internally flinched at the lack of emotion in your voice.
โ€œyour head wonโ€™t retain any information if youโ€™re this drained, (y/n). you know this.โ€
โ€œgive me my notebook.โ€
โ€œno. you need to listen to m-โ€
โ€œjust give me the damned notebook.โ€ you said loudly, before it turned to a soft whimper. โ€œplease.โ€
and with that you broke down into tears. tsukishima almost immediately lifted you up from your position and carried you to your bed.
โ€œplease. i need to learn this.โ€
โ€œyou need to rest.โ€ he argued, holding you against his chest, drawing what he thinks are comforting shapes on your back. you shook your head, struggling against his hold.
โ€œiโ€ฆ i just want to be smarter for you.โ€ you said, voice lowering down. tsukishimaโ€™s grip on you tightened.
โ€œi already got enough talks about that embarrassing grade. i didnโ€™t need you to press down the wound with salt.โ€ you started.
โ€œi already feel dumb enough as i am. i didnโ€™t need you invalidating me.โ€ you said through your tears, wiping them away harshly.
โ€œgod, why am i even crying i-โ€
โ€œiโ€™m sorry.โ€ tsukishima cut you off. your lips pursed, trying to contain your sobs inside. tsukishima felt like the biggest asshole alive. he never meant to go this far. he shouldโ€™ve considered your feelings more.
โ€œiโ€™m sorry for invalidating what you feel. i wonโ€™t try to justify what i did because i know that as a dick move on my part.โ€ he said, earning a laugh mixed with a sob from you. he rubbed your back before kissing your forehead softly.
โ€œyou are one of the most intelligent people i know.โ€
โ€œshut up.โ€ he continued. you gave him an offended look.
โ€œi didnโ€™t even say anything!โ€ you said, hitting his chest slightly. he flicked your forehead as response.
โ€œi know those words i said a while may seem insensitive.โ€
โ€œglad you know.โ€ he gave you a look, you pecked his chin. he continued with his narrative.
โ€œbut i hope you know i didnโ€™t mean to hurt you. i was laughing with you before i realized that you werenโ€™t laughing with me at all. iโ€™m sorry if i invalidated your opinions.โ€ you knew tsukishima meant every word he said. he was never the type to lie anyway.
you nodded in acceptance to his apology, his hand coming to run through your hair, calming you down in the process.
โ€œtell you what, iโ€™ll help you study tomorrow but for now, letโ€™s just rest your pretty little head.โ€ you smiled at the idea, nodding your head. you wrapped your arm around tsukishimaโ€™s neck.
โ€œnow go to sleep.โ€ you rolled your eyes but closed your eyes anyway, the steady beat of your boyfriendโ€™s heart lulling you to sleep.
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daichi:
daichi dreaded going to the club room early. maybe if he were tardier then he wouldnโ€™t have to be cornered into a hotseat by the teamโ€™s idiots. the captain heaved a sigh as the two second years babbled on their ideal types.ย 
he opened his gym locker, taking off his uniform and replacing it with his practice clothes. once he changed, he saw nishinoya and tanaka staring at him with mischievous grins plastered on their faces.ย 
โ€œwhat?โ€ daichi shouldnโ€™t have asked. โ€œitโ€™s not fair you heard about our tastes and youโ€™re all quiet on us, daichi-san!โ€ nishinoya answered, as if he were whining. daichi looked at them with a deadpan expression.ย 
โ€œwhy does my type concern you?โ€ tanaka and nishinoya shuddered at the tone their captain sent them, but they werenโ€™t going to stop. they wanted to know if daichi was relatively interested in anyone at all. and their captainโ€™s intimidation isnโ€™t going to stop them from knowing so.ย 
โ€œcome on, daichi-san! surely someone like you has a type.โ€ nishinoya urged on, the door of the clubroom opened, revealing sugawara and asahi who were chatting amongst themselves. daichi thought he could finally breathe a sigh of relief, knowing the conversation would shift into a new topic.ย 
sadly, he was wrong as sugawara asked why the second year duo were staring at the captain.ย 
โ€œwe just want to know the captainโ€™s type! suga-san, do you know?โ€ nishinoya risked asking the vice-captain, and to daichiโ€™s displeasure, sugawara gave back a mischievous grin.ย 
โ€œi donโ€™t think-โ€ asahi started before effectively getting cut off by sugawara slapping a hand over his mouth. โ€œof course i do!โ€ sugawara gleefully said.ย 
daichi sighed, knowing he couldnโ€™t shut the vice-captain up.
โ€œso, so?โ€ tanaka and nishinoya said in tandem, making the vice-captain laugh. โ€œwell. i donโ€™t want to get into detail, butโ€ฆ your captain loves something he can grab in front.โ€ sugawara winked, the second years both tilted their heads in confusion. not getting sugawaraโ€™s innuendo.ย 
ennoshita, who came in a few seconds ago sighed at the dumb second years. โ€œhe means he likes people with big bre-โ€ โ€œdonโ€™t ruin the fun!โ€ sugawara tsked. ennoshita rolled his eyes before getting ready for practice.ย 
nishinoya and tanaka both looked at each other before letting out a sound of understanding. โ€œoh, so likeโ€ฆ michimiya?โ€
โ€œare the three of you done?โ€ daichiโ€™s voice made the team shiver, not knowing if they went a bit too far. but apparently, nishinoya didnโ€™t get the hint.ย 
โ€œyou didnโ€™t deny it, daichi-san!โ€ โ€œget to practice, now.โ€ the team took his statement as confirmation that he indeed had a type and nishinoya and tanaka were going to make the most out of it.ย 
like schoolgirls, they skipped out of the club room, giggling amongst themselves. unbeknownst to them, you were by the door, waiting to give something to daichi.ย 
you heard every single detail, you didn't mean to. but this was nishinoya and tanaka weโ€™re talking about, it was bound to get loud eventually.ย 
โ€œoh, (y/n)-san! i didnโ€™t notice you there.โ€ nishinoya waved, daichi froze as he went out of the door to see you smiling back at him. he hopes that you didnโ€™t hear the conversation.ย 
the two of you decided to keep it lowkey afterall. it was a mutual decision, surely you couldnโ€™t blame him that he didnโ€™t confirm nor deny their suspicions, right?
โ€œhey, noya, tanaka.โ€ you nod at them, they smiled at you with lovestruck gazes before skipping away in awe.ย 
โ€œuhโ€ฆ hey. what brings you here?โ€ daichi asked, closing the door behind him. you smiled before gesturing to some club reports he forgot by his desk. daichi let out a sigh of relief at the sight of them.
โ€œthank you, (y/n). would you wanna watch the practice?โ€ daichi asked, you smiled softly and shook your head. โ€œiโ€™d love to, but (f/n) is waiting for me, we have a project to get to.โ€ you explained, daichi nodded in understanding before looking around.ย 
seeing no one in sight, he placed a quick peck on your lips and pulled you into a swift hug. โ€œtext me when you get home, love.โ€ you smiled once more before nodding and walking away.ย 
somehow, daichi felt as if something was wrong.ย 
-
the following weeks, daichi couldnโ€™t help but question the sudden shift in your eating habits. you began drinking more milk, and eating more nuts and soybean. not only that, but youโ€™ve been reluctantly eating more papaya. and you hated papaya.ย 
it was a rest day from practice, daichi decided to spend his resting time with you. because not only does he miss spending time with you, but he can tell that something was clearly wrong.ย 
he could only hope it wasnโ€™t because of that conversation.ย 
but for now, heโ€™s content with holding you in his arms.ย 
โ€œhey, baby. can you stand up real quick? i just need to use the bathroom.โ€ you state, he nods and sits up sleepily. you peck his forehead before walking off to your said location.ย 
to pass time, daichi fished for his phone, unknowingly taking yours and opening it with his fingerprint. he shouldโ€™ve realized that it wasnโ€™t his phone that he was currently holding.ย 
โ€˜how to grow breast size?โ€™ daichiโ€™s eyes bulged at the incognito tab that appeared once he opened the surfing browser. with curiosity, he viewed the other tabs that were related to enlarging breasts. from myths to actual helpful tips.ย 
that was then he realized. you heard.ย 
no wonder your diet suddenly shifted. you were following some site that said so. daichi couldnโ€™t help but feel guilty, now confirming that you heard the conversation for weeks.ย 
โ€œdaichi?โ€ he almost dropped your phone from shock. you were standing there, staring at your phone in his hand.ย 
โ€œuh...โ€ โ€œi think we need to talk.โ€ย 
you nod, sitting at the same couch with a small amount of distance.ย 
โ€œi heard.โ€ you started, not looking at him. daichi heaved out a sigh, not knowing what to say.ย 
โ€œi do think that you and michi-โ€ โ€œnone of that.โ€ he sharply said, effectively shutting you up. daichi seemed to realize that his tone came off as harsh before sighing softly and taking your hand in his.ย 
โ€œlook. please know i didnโ€™t say anything just to shut them up.โ€ daichi tried explaining, you nod, but the both of you knew you werenโ€™t convinced.ย 
โ€œlove, iโ€™m not dating you because of your body.โ€ he starts, snaking his hand in between the both of you to hold yours. โ€œi could care less about how you look, much less your breast size. it doesnโ€™t matter to me.โ€ย 
โ€œi love you just as you are. you donโ€™t need to change anything, especially just to fit in my standards.โ€ daichi continued, tears were pricking in your eyes. you didnโ€™t know what to say, you only endured this because you wanted daichi to be proud to be seen with you.ย 
โ€œiโ€™m sorry that you had to hear that.โ€ daichi raised your hand to his lips before placing a soft peck on your knuckles. โ€œiโ€™m sorry for not confronting you about it.โ€ you whisper. daichi shook his head at your words.ย 
โ€œno, love. i shouldโ€™ve realized something was wrong when you began changing your eating habits weeks ago.โ€ you smiled softly, feeling lighter than before.
โ€œi love you, (y/n).โ€ โ€œi love you more, baby.โ€ you sigh, letting yourself fall in his embrace.ย 
โ€œdoes this mean i can stop eating those godforsaken papayas?โ€ you asked with a small voice, causing daichi to laugh at your statement and peck your forehead.ย 
โ€œyou never had to eat them in the first place, love.โ€
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2K notes ยท View notes
satorisoup ยท 10 days
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PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER .แŸ
ft. hq boys and their acts of intimacy <3
cw : fluff + sfw. timeskip! setting. mentions of bathing together.
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แฐ” BOKUTO + BUBBLE BATHS
even though he may be a little too burly to fit comfortably with you in the tub, and it takes a couple minutes to get situated without getting squashed, bokuto loves to bathe with you. he enjoys running the warm water, not too hot, not too cold, but just right. heโ€™ll mix in a nice scented soap that makes bubbles rise high in the bathtub, lavender and citrus you can smell in the mist of your bathroom. heโ€™ll hold your hands under the water, and maybe splash you a couple times, but he shows he cares with the delicate touches he leaves on your skin as he washes away the worries of the world with a sponge of suds. heโ€™ll lather your hair in your favorite shampoo, careful to not snag any knots, and rinse the strands with such gentleness you can barely even feel it. and when youโ€™re all done, heโ€™ll wrap you in a warm towel, snug and clean while he kisses your damp cheeks with a huge smile.
แฐ” KITA + FLOWERS
kita vowed that when he started dating you, he would never allow a week to go by without your vase being filled with a new bouquet. heโ€™ll come home to you, new flowers wrapped in the palm of his hands as he kisses you hello. he loves the the way you get excited, eyes twinkling at the delicate petals and floral scent as you thank him over and over. heโ€™ll watch you with a fond smile as you carefully take them in your grasp, setting them into a pretty vase that makes your home light up with color. he wonโ€™t let you see the flowers die, always keeping one for himself so he knows when itโ€™s time to replace them. heโ€™ll always tell you the meaning of the bouquet he got, or leave a pretty note tied around the stems. he buys a different type of flower every time, because he knows youโ€™ll enjoy the variety. he adores you just as much as you adore the beautiful flowers.
แฐ” ATSUMU + MASSAGING YOU
atsumu has talented hands from years of playing volleyball, and he puts them to good use when you complain that youโ€™re sore. heโ€™ll knead at the expanse of your skin, smiling to himself as you sigh in content. heโ€™ll rub away the tiredness of your muscles, gentle but calculated touches everywhere you could need. he likes to hold your hands in his, massaging from your fingers all the way up to your arms, and back down to your hands again. heโ€™ll lay your sock-clad feet in his lap, squeezing and rubbing the ache away with his fingers. heโ€™ll sit you on his lap, massaging the discomfort of your cramping shoulders until your melting into his touch. he wonโ€™t be rough, making sure his touch is tender and soft while he works the knots out. he kindly kisses your skin when heโ€™s done, and feels that itโ€™s a mission accomplished when you tell him you feel much better.
แฐ” OSAMU + FEEDING YOU
as long as osamu is around, you will always have a full plate. heโ€™s always in the kitchen, a small and sacred book of his maโ€™s recipes standing proud on an easel. you donโ€™t remember the last time youโ€™ve heard your stomach grumble, because heโ€™s already sliding a bowl your way. he loves how domestic it feels, to use the recipes he once enjoyed as a kid and serve them to you on a silver platter. he likes that youโ€™re his personal taste tester, giving him a thumbs up with full cheeks as you chew. when your sick, heโ€™ll insist on feeding you, hot spoon of soup between his fingers, his hand cusped at the bottom to catch any that falls. heโ€™ll wake you up in the early mornings to tell you the food is ready, and sometimes surprise you with breakfast in bed. heโ€™ll kiss your chubbed cheeks as you munch on one of his special onigiris, and ask you if you want another until your belly is full.
แฐ” AKAASHI + READING TO YOU
akaashi enjoys reading to you every chance he gets. a book held in the palms of his hands, licking his thumb every time he turns the page. heโ€™ll have you curled up to his side, or sat between his legs, as he reads aloud the words imprinted on the page. heโ€™ll add emotion to his voice at the important parts, and heโ€™ll glance at your face to see your reaction. his voice is soft and soothing as he reads, occasionally moving his hand towards your hair to gently caress the top of your head. when itโ€™s nighttime, he reads to you almost as if itโ€™s a bedtime story, bedside lamp warming the room with itโ€™s light as he flips through the pages. chapter after chapter he brings you closer to sleep, pages like a lullaby of prompts and fiction. heโ€™ll pause when he notices your reactions have gone silent, breathing evened out as you lulled into a quiet slumber. heโ€™ll smile as he puts a bookmark between the spine, already anticipating tomorrow when he can continue to read you the next chapter.
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liquidcatt ยท 3 days
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Even though heโ€™s spent years being a professional volleyball player, his hands were oh so gentle. From the way he held you close while sleeping, to the way he softly cupped your face, wiping away your tears, to the way he held your hand, brushing his thumb over your knuckles. He makes it better by kissing them to show you how much love he has for you. And you wouldnโ€™t have it any other way
Hinata, Bokuto, Ushijima, Kageyama, Atsumu, Suna, Kiyoomi, Oikawa, Tsukishima, Hoshiumi (+ your fav)
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215-luv ยท 7 months
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AKAASHI & TSUKISHIMA WHEN YOUโ€™RE IN AN UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION
(tw: cursing, attempted assault)
AKAASHI
it was really unexpected of him to act this wayโ€”not when everyone sees him as a composed person especially with the way he handles the volleyball teamโ€™s team captain, bokuto kotaro. so, when people saw the way his calm demeanor drops the moment his eyes take sight of some third year dude being handsy with you, itโ€™s over.
keiji was in the middle of volleyball practice with the team and as usual, you were there to watch him from afar. your peace, however, was interrupted when a senior who you were kind of familiar with approaches you out of the blue. you recognized him as the student council president, however, you couldnโ€™t recall his name. since you were the only person in the gym who seemed approachable, he asked about the coach and told you he was practically there to talk to the team captain about some collaboration for all clubs in the school. since almost everyone in the school knows that you frequently visit the gym, he knew you were someone who was familiar with the ropes of the team, so he initiated a conversation with you.
to be honest, the whole interaction with him didnโ€™t stain you with a bad feeling at all. he was actually really polite and didnโ€™t show any ulterior move towards you. soon enough, the initial topic of the conversation regarding the clubs slipped away as it turned to a talk about your similar interests. he was an easy going guy, and he introduces himself to you with his name, kento, and to your surprise he already knew yours before you could introduce yourself.
too basked in your conversation with the council president, the both of you seem to didnโ€™t get a hold of the time. you were pulled out of your conversation when you hear the cheers of the team, signaling the end of practice, and you were oblivious to the unusual look your boyfriend has been giving you from across the court.
and, well, it seems the team has noticed the distant look on keijiโ€™s face as he eyes the seemingly fun interaction youโ€™re currently having with kento. he swears itโ€™s been like that the whole duration of the practiceโ€”but itโ€™s not like heโ€™s jealous about it, of course. thereโ€™s no way heโ€™ll act irrationally about some little conversation youโ€™re having with the student council president. he might have approached you about something related to school, of course, he wouldnโ€™t think of any other reason why kento would approach you other than that. but why are the two of you laughing so much? why are you smiling so brightly? oh dear god, this is driving him crazy. the gears on his brain were rapidly functioning with a feeling of discomfort in him that he couldnโ€™t fathom why heโ€™s feeling that way. his overthinking was eating him alive and he so desperately wanted to push it all away because he feels like he doesnโ€™t have any reason to feel uncomfortable at all.
โ€œisnโ€™t that yamazaki kento? the student council president?โ€ keiji hears konoha murmur to komi, who was nodding in response, eyes suspiciously eyeing the boy you were still talking with.
bokutoโ€™s eyes practically widens, โ€œyamazaki kento? so his last name is yamazaki? i swear i heard him introducing himself by his first name to keijiโ€™s s/o a while ago.โ€
what?
keiji didnโ€™t hear that right, did he?
โ€œhuh? theyโ€™re that close already?โ€
no, what the fuckโ€”because why is keiji feeling this way? why does he feel his stomach churning in discomfort. he shouldnโ€™t feel this way at all. you were simply talking to someone, let alone making new friends. he didnโ€™t want to make you feel like heโ€™s stopping you from doing so simply because heโ€™s getting a bad feeling about all of this.
the side glances and stares from the team doesnโ€™t make things much better for keiji. his mind is full of endless thoughts, but the blank look on his face tells another story.
he tries to keep his composure, he swears. heโ€™s calm, he promises. heโ€™s okay, youโ€™re okay. he trusts this yamazaki kento, heโ€™s the student council president for peteโ€™s sake.
everything felt so odd for keiji that he could barely register his feelings or how he should feel about the situation. from the look of his teammates, however, this was a bad thing. and honestly, he already knew it was from the beginning.
โ€œwell..โ€ bokuto trails off, eyes pointing towards you and yamazaki kento with a frown, โ€œnot sure what to feel about that, but it looks like theyโ€™re having fun so i guess thereโ€™s no harm in that.โ€
konoha snorts, โ€œpsh, yeah, too much fun.โ€
โ€œkonoha, shut the fuck up.โ€
yeah, konoha, shut the fuck up. keiji practically screams in his mindโ€”an unusual thing of him to do. a bitter taste lingers in his mouth as he glares at the wing spiker.
moments of awkward silence passes, as if the team is waiting for any reaction from the setter. and finally, keiji sighs, thinking that he should put an end to this conversation before things get worse.
โ€œi have no idea why all of you are making unnecessary comments about this. itโ€™s really nothing to make a fuss about, honestly.โ€ he says, eyeing the team with a cold gaze that greatly hides the uneasiness heโ€™s feeling deep inside.
โ€œgee, heโ€™s a good actorโ€ komi murmurs next to konoha with an amusing look. bokuto hears it and hardly nudges his torso in panic.
bokuto clears his throat with a dry laugh, โ€œwell, yamazaki kento is an honorable council president, after all! itโ€™s no doubt heโ€™s talking to your dear s/o because of their amazing and outstanding role in this schoolโ€”โ€œ
โ€œyeah, well, you might want to think about that again,โ€ konoha cuts him off with a cough, lowly pointing a thumb at the other end of the court where youโ€™re located at. everyone swiftly turns their head towards that direction.
and as if keiji is met with his worst nightmare, to his horror, he sees the so-called honorable student council president subtly holding your arm, his body stepping closer towards youโ€”as if the distance between you isnโ€™t enough.
okay, what the hell? keiji is damn sure that you and this guy just met, so why is he being so touchy with you? why is he letting you call him by his first name? is he that dense? is his head okay? doesnโ€™t he know that your boyfriend is literally standing a few distances away, eyeing him with a glare?
and there, keiji sees it. he swears itโ€™s his breaking point.
you took a step back, trying to put some distance between you and yamazaki kento.
but then this prick takes a step forward, knowing damn well youโ€™re trying to distance yourself from him.
there it is. keiji notices, youโ€™re uncomfortable. your body language says it all. now, the endless thoughts in his mind is replaced with pure anger.
keijiโ€™s pissed.
โ€œokay, what the fuck?โ€ bokuto comments, โ€œfirst, heโ€™s on first name basis with akaashiโ€™s s/o, now, heโ€™s being all handsy wiโ€”wait, akaashi, where are you goโ€”oh, shit. holy shit! itโ€™s happening. heโ€™s pissed alright. konoha, go get your damn camera!โ€
from the other side of the court, resided you and yamazaki kento.
you swore things were going well. you and the guy had a lot of things to agree on. but why is he suddenly being all handsy with you? whatโ€™s the purpose of him holding your arm as if heโ€™s known you for years? you just met him! hell, you didnโ€™t even know who he was before he introduced himself.
also, it was so weird of him to know your name beforehand. the feeling of ease has been eaten away by anxiety as you did your best to kindly give yamazaki the hint of your discomfort.
your lips forms into an uneasy smile, โ€œu-uhm, would it be alright for you to move away a bit? weโ€™re tooโ€”โ€œ
โ€œtoo close?โ€ yamazaki kento continues with a smirk plastered on his face and your stomach churns.
the guy now raises both his hands, subtly holding the sides of your arms while he eyes you intensely and you panic.
your breathing turns uneven, โ€œw-what are you doโ€”โ€œ
as if the air was knocked out of your lungs, an arm aggressively pushes the guy away from you, creating as much distance between you two. the air suddenly feels lighterโ€”all the more when you see your boyfriend standing infront of you, his warm hands replacing themselves on the sides of your arms. his hold on you was much more gentle, more comforting and warm. you never felt so relieved your whole life.
โ€œkeiji,โ€ you breathed out with a relieved look on your face. and keiji was quick to pull you in his arms to an embrace, not giving a damn about the student council president on the floor from the impact of his push.
โ€œitโ€™s okay,โ€ he whispers, his lips lingering on your forehead, โ€œyouโ€™re okay. iโ€™m here. youโ€™re safe with me, darling.โ€
thank god keijiโ€™s intuition was always right.
TSUKISHIMA
kei is always one who has a lot of things to sayโ€”most especially the mean things. itโ€™s simply who he is and he doesnโ€™t give a damn if he attracts a lot of enemies because of that trait of his. when it comes to you however, he doesnโ€™t seem to get himself to act mean towards youโ€”his significant other. heโ€™s head over heels for you, itโ€™s a fact. and itโ€™s sure as hell that the whole school knows about that. the infamous, cold-hearted guy falls inlove with a down to earth, kind person. how clichรฉโ€”but itโ€™s cute, isnโ€™t it?
it was training camp, and karasuno, along with other teams from different regions in japan were present. you were one of the people who volunteered to help with the team since this yearโ€™s training camp would involve more schools to join, therefore they needed the help.
and so, as the kind person you are, you willingly joined the team for their training camp. plus, you would be able to see kei more. the idea of traveling afar and meeting a lot of people gave you the feeling of excitementโ€”the complete opposite of your boyfriend, who thought of everyone else but you a nuisance.
you barely were able to recover from shock when youโ€™ve arrived at the destination. the gym was huge, filled with so many faces that some you were familiar with, but most of them you donโ€™t recognize at all. kiyoko was snickering at the shocked look you and yachi had while some of karasuno had their jaws on the floor.
you were too busy gaping at the huge gym in awe that you werenโ€™t able to register a tall presence approaching you. his fingers raises to flick your forehead with a tiny soundโ€”the action nearly scaring the wits out of you.
you tilt your chin up to meet eyes with your boyfriend. you give him a glare and he replies with a tiny smirk.
โ€œare you surprised?โ€ he asks you, his tone giving off the vibe that heโ€™s teasing you.
you huffed, โ€œof course i am, kei. itโ€™s my first time after all.โ€
โ€œwell, youโ€™re going to be met with even more surprises the longer you stay.โ€ your boyfriend says, raising a hand to place it at the top of your head, โ€œgood luck with that.โ€
โ€œyeah, sure. thank you for your concern, kei.โ€
you have your regrets.
a day has passed and you realized you wanted to take back your insincerity when you thanked him for wishing you a good luck.
โ€œwhatโ€™s a โ€˜lil mouse like doinโ€™ you here? are ya lost?โ€
fuck. scratch all that, you needed to escape. now.
itโ€™s a funny situation, really. kiyoko has instructed you to fill up the teamโ€™s water bottles. and youโ€™ve successfully done so, your mission was done. everything was going so well. you thought you wouldnโ€™t come across any problem along the way because you were just simply told to fill the bottles with water.
however, as you were on your way back, you bumped into an unfamiliar faceโ€”a tall guy who you assume to be one of the players from some school based on the shirt heโ€™s wearing.
you apologized for bumping into him, and the basket filled with bottles that you were holding were so heavy you wanted to rush back to the gym as much as possible.
the guy, on the other hand, had other plans.
as soon as you were about to walk past by him, he raises his arm to block your away, and your head swiftly faces him in surprise. suddenly, the basket on your grip feels heavier.
you gulp, โ€œy-yes?โ€
โ€œwhatโ€™s a โ€˜lil mouse like doinโ€™ you here? are ya lost?โ€ the guy smirks, eyes moving up and down your body. suddenly, you feel sick in the stomach.
you try your best to get out of here as soon as possible, making sure not to offend the guy because god, he looked like he could do something to you any second.
you released a forced laugh, โ€œhaha, just doing some duties for the team. i have to go nowโ€”โ€œ
โ€œholโ€™ up. why are ya leavinโ€™ so soon, darlinโ€™?โ€ the guy now blocks your way with his whole body, his tall figure blocking the light from you as youโ€™re covered with his shadow. you wanted to cry, why is he being so persistent? you should have asked kiyoko or yachi to come with you.
you sure are met with a surprise. kei was absolutely right and youโ€™re surely damned. dear god, whereโ€™s kei when you need him?
โ€œwhere are they?โ€
kei agitatedly questions the team managers as soon as the team gets back to the bench after ending another match. it has been nearly twenty minutes and you havenโ€™t returnedโ€”which worried kei although he tried his best not to cause a huge fuss about it.
โ€œi asked them to fill the bottles for the team,โ€ kiyoko answers, โ€œhowever, iโ€™m not sure whatโ€™s taking them so long. iโ€™m starting to get worried.โ€
kei immediately furrows his eyebrows, โ€œthey went there alone? you mean to say no one accompanied them?โ€
fuck, heโ€™s mad. the whole team screams in their heads. they all inwardly panic. all of them stood there stiff while glancing at one another, unable to say anything as it might fuel the anger inside kei even more.
yachi shudders, โ€œw-what ifโ€”โ€œ
โ€œdonโ€™t.โ€ kei glares at her, stopping her from whatever sheโ€™s about to say because heโ€™s sure it would only make the discomfort heโ€™s feeling even worse. poor yachi squeaks at the glare he sent her, but he couldnโ€™t careโ€”not when youโ€™re taking too long to go back. he swears his heart begins to beat rapidly every second he doesnโ€™t see you.
โ€œtsukishima..โ€ sugawara tries to console him, he had an uneasy look on his face while slowly approaching the middle blocker.
โ€œweโ€™ll find them right now, we donโ€™t have any matches lefโ€”ah, and there he goes,โ€ suga trails off, watching as the blonde walks out of the gym without a word to find you.
โ€œno need to tell him what to do, i guess.โ€
the rest of the team then decides to split up to find you, hoping that youโ€™re safe and sound.
back to where you were, near the area of where the water fountain wasโ€”you still stood there frozen, holding the heavy basket of water bottles.
the guy whoโ€™s practically towering over you lowers himself so he could get a better glimpse of youโ€”the action making you take an immediate step backward as the close distance between you two made you uncomfortable. you gulped, refusing to look at him in the eye. he was so close that you could feel the sensation of his warm breath, making you feel nauseous.
โ€œpretty bird.โ€ the guy chuckles.
from the corner of your eye, you could see his hand raising itself to the side of your head. you flinch when his fingers were close to hover themselves over your hair strands.
and then, in a swift motion, a hand grabs the guyโ€™s wrist, halting him from touching you. you jump in surprise.
โ€œwhโ€”โ€œ
โ€œtouch even a strand of their hair, and iโ€™ll make sure you wonโ€™t have the hands to do so.โ€
that voice. your eyes widens, the uneasiness in your stomach dissipating as soon as you see your boyfriend standing close next to you.
kei quickly squeezes himself between you and the guy so heโ€™s blocking sight of you from the weirdo. he grabs hold of your hand from behind, giving it a tight squeeze in assuranceโ€”then he takes the heavy basket from your grip. you couldnโ€™t help but breathe out a sigh of relief. you were practically shaking, and you hadnโ€™t realized that until kei came to the rescue.
โ€œyouโ€™re here.โ€ you whisper quietly under your breath, only for your boyfriend to hear, โ€œthank you, kei.โ€
once again, you feel your boyfriend squeezing your hand, the action giving you the right amount of warmth and comfort. despite his gentle advancements towards you, it was evident that heโ€™s practically fuming.
kei was overflowing with anger.
the veins on the side of his neck were popping and evident. his eyes were narrowed and his lips were turned to a tight frown.
โ€œso?โ€ kei looks at the guy infront of him, his golden eyes piercing and cold, โ€œdo we have a deal?โ€
and just like that, the guy walks away with a huff.
2K notes ยท View notes
k4g3hika ยท 8 months
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CONSUME โ” imagine!
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suna rintarou x fem!reader
summary: suna rintarou was hard to love, you knew this from the beginning. but when you overhear him admitting how he truly felt about you, it hurt to decide whether to let him go, or let your love for him continuously consume you.
genre: hurt/comfort
wc: 6.2k
tags: this is the longest imagine that iโ€™ve ever written ๐Ÿ˜ญ it was a pain in the ass to write but i hope you guys like it :)
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Sometimes, you think itโ€™s hard to love Suna.
Suna is calculating and quiet, the reasons exactly why you find it difficult to continuously pine for him. Though, you already knew he was going to act like this. Youโ€™ve gone to school with Suna since elementary, and have even lived in the same neighbourhood since childhood, but you donโ€™t think he knows that.
The thing is, you know Suna, but you donโ€™t think he knows you. Every morning since you were six years old, youโ€™ve seen him make his way to school, but youโ€™ve never had the courage to walk up to him and say โ€˜hiโ€™. For years, the only parts of Suna that you were able to truly admire were his back and his hair, from behind. The both of you have never been in the same friend group, class, or extra-curricular activity, until your second-year of high school.
You precisely remember the moment you stepped into the gymnasium to introduce yourself as the new manager of the team. It was a rainy day and you were excited, albeit, a little nervous, but irregardless, excited because you know and love volleyball. The sport connected with some of your childhood memories, as you recall playing it with your older brother. Too bad your physical skills werenโ€™t up to par with the schoolโ€™s expectations, or else you wouldโ€™ve been on the team. Their loss though, because you found your strategy and knowledge of the sport to be your strongest feature as a player.
As a result of the girlโ€™s team already having a manager, the coach recommended you to try signing up for the role of manager for the boyโ€™s team. Now, you didnโ€™t mind being around boys. Your older brother was enough for you to build up the courage against the challenge that is the hygiene and personality, or well, lack thereof, of boys.
However, the courage built over the years was not enough to stop your surprise at seeing none other than Suna Rintarou, from the front.
He looked completely different from what you remember him looking like. For some reason, you still had the young image of Suna in your head. The Suna you remember had puffy cheeks and neat hair, but this new Suna, was mature, older, and way more handsome. His cheeks thinned out and highlighted a sharp jawline that made his face look so clean-cut, unlike his hair that was messy and all over the place. But, if anything, you think that you prefer this Suna.
Because, God, it made him so much more attractive.
Now, itโ€™s been about three months since youโ€™ve become manager, and in those three months, youโ€™ve tried to show Suna just how much you love him. The years of no talking and never meeting each other were all building up for you, and you just wanted to show him all of the care and affection youโ€™ve held for him over the years.
Youโ€™ve cooked bento boxes and given them to him, youโ€™ve filled his water bottle with the expensive electrolytes from the convenience store ten minutes away from the school before every practice, and who couldnโ€™t forget, you make sure that his towel was clean and warm beside his gym bag, so that he wouldnโ€™t use the same one for weeks until it reeked. Your affection was clearly shown through your actions and you prayed to the heavens that he would just notice you. Maybe say a โ€˜thank youโ€™ or even a little head pat, you really donโ€™t care, just some recognition would make you feel rewarded after all the hard work youโ€™ve done for him.
But, the bento boxes were returned to you either by, Atsumu or Osamu, Suna drank the expensive electrolyte water, however, he seemed to not notice that it was you who put all the thought and care behind the action, and his towel was always just thrown to the side alongside the other towels. Even though the towel you prepped was a personal one from home that had your initials hand sewn in the corner. You thought that at one point he wouldโ€™ve acknowledged you, but the gratefulness never came.
It didnโ€™t matter though. Because you knew in your heart that you loved Suna Rintarou, and there was nothing that could change that. Even if you did all the sincere actions for him until the both of you graduated and he never noticed you, just knowing that he at least saw the bento box, the water bottle, and your towel, was enough to put a smile on your face. You would show Suna that you love him, ten times over.
โ€œY/N! Earth to Y/N!โ€ Your head snaps over to your right, seeing the coach look at you with concern. Embarrassed that he caught you in your daily Suna trance, your cheeks heats up and you push yourself to your feet.
โ€œCoach!โ€
โ€œI thought you would never hear me. Listen, I donโ€™t know whatโ€™s taking all your attention away, but can you please head down to the locker room and tell the boys that they need to make their way over here. The drill we spoke about yesterday is a bit complicated, so I would like to get started as soon as possible.โ€ Nodding, you bow and begin to make your way over to the club room.
Your heart begins to speed up a bit, as the thought of seeing Suna shirtless makes your chest burn and your face hot. By all means, you are not a pervert! But just seeing him with all his muscles in the bright fluorescent light of the locker room looked like a cover of a sports magazine.
Suna Rintarou makes you feel so nervous. Unfortunately, you find yourself relishing in the minimal acknowledgement that he gives you, thriving off of the fact that you were in a club that just allowed you to be around him. Maybe it was a sign from the heavens that you werenโ€™t physically athletic, but strategically, which resulted in your application as Boys Volleyball team manager. Youโ€™d like to think that despite his ignorance, it was in both of your guysโ€™ destinies to end up with another.
Maybe the both of you were the main characters of a drama, where, despite all the bumps in the plot, you will always find each other being drawn to one another. Yet again, that was all just your stupid imagination, but one can dream, right?
Giggling to yourself, you were about to knock on the locker room door, before you heard loud voices through the small space between the door and the wall. It sounded like they were bickering with one another, and you begin to wonder if itโ€™s Atsumu and Osamu fighting again, while everyone just stood around and observed. Normally, you would be the one to beg them to stop while Kita jumped in after you to pull them apart. But, now that you werenโ€™t inside, you begin to push open the door at the possibility.
โ€œ...Y/N?โ€ Your actions falter at the sound of your name.
โ€˜Are they talking about me?โ€™ Before you could do anything, you lean your ear in just to get a snippet of what they were talking about. You know what they say though, curiosity was what killed the cat.
โ€œCome on Sunarin! You have to like Y/N! Sheโ€™s so cute, and she cooks you all those bento boxes! If that isnโ€™t girlfriend material, then I donโ€™t know what is.โ€ Hearing Atsumu praise you for your efforts made you smile, trying to hide it by covering your mouth with your hand.
โ€œAnd, letโ€™s not forget how she already likes you. Cโ€™mon Rintarou, weโ€™ve seen her personally hand you your water bottle,โ€ The voice you assume to be Ojiro teases, while everyone in the room laughs.
โ€œOh yeah!! Iโ€™ve seen those expensive electrolyte packets in her bag, man, how does it feel to receive such special treatment from Y/N?โ€
โ€˜So my actions donโ€™t go unnoticed.โ€™ Your smile grows bigger, clutching your clipboard closer to your chest when feeling just how full your heart is with everyoneโ€™s recognition.
โ€œStop it guys.โ€ Sunaโ€™s smooth voice finally enters the picture and you try to stop yourself from giggling out loud. โ€œSheโ€™s our manager.โ€
โ€œSo?!? Man, thatโ€™s even better! You wonโ€™t have a girlfriend who doesnโ€™t understand the importance of the sport. If anything, Y/N is more committed than you, maybe you will be the one competing for her attention against the club,โ€ you hear smooching sounds and Atsumu speaks in a voice that tries to mock Sunaโ€™s, but did a terrible job.
โ€œY/N~ donโ€™t forget all about me!! I love you Y/N~!โ€ More kissing sounds can be heard, and everyone in the room laughs one more time.
The joy in your heart wouldโ€™ve been extended, if it werenโ€™t for the sudden aggravated scoff from Suna, and the slapping of a towel on bare skin. Atsumu yelps and the room suddenly dies down from the initial humorous atmosphere.
โ€œMan, shut up. I donโ€™t like Y/N. Sheโ€™s alright, I guess.โ€ a locker door slams shut, โ€œBut sometimes, she's just so... annoying. I don't know how much longer I can put up with it. And you know, after a while, it just comes off as desperate.โ€
โ€˜Desperate? Iโ€™m not desperate.โ€™ You werenโ€™t keen on Suna noticing you. You just liked doing all those things for him, it showed you cared, and that he was at least deserving of some special treatment, because he was a very special person in your life.
โ€œI feel bad for her,โ€ he continues, โ€œspending all that time doing shit for someone that doesnโ€™t even like her. I canโ€™t say anything though, cause sheโ€™s our manager and I donโ€™t want the team to feel awkward. I guess I just have to suffer with her smothering me all the damn time.โ€
At that, you feel your once fluttering heart stop. You feel tears beginning to make their way to fall from your eyes, as your face begins to feel hot, but not in a blushing way. More like in a, you were about to sob out loud and the tears probably wouldnโ€™t stop for a while, way.
You loved Suna. He didnโ€™t have to love you back, the least you were asking for was for him to say โ€˜thank youโ€™. But it appeared that your affection didnโ€™t appear as a display of your love, but something that bothered him. Annoying him to the point of seeing your actions as suffocating. But that didnโ€™t entirely bother you.
It was the fact that he didnโ€™t even want to tell you to stop. He was going to live like that until high school was over, because you were the teamโ€™s manager, and it would be โ€˜awkwardโ€™. You begin to overthink.
What if you kept on going about cooking those bento boxes for him, filling his water up with electrolytes, and bringing a special towel from home, all warm and clean, without knowing what he actually thought of your displays of affection? You wouldโ€™ve lived thinking that Suna somewhat appreciated it. Possibly having the idiotic thought that he was just shy, and maybe didnโ€™t know how to exactly tell you that he liked you.
You are such a dumbass.
You begin to tremble, the pen that was once held up by your clipboard clattering to the ground and startling you. It brought you back to your situation, seeing the door still somewhat closed in front of you. Out of fear that they were going to see you and realise that you were eavesdropping, you ditch the pen and begin to run back to the gym.
You were going to tell the coach that you were feeling sick. You hope the teary eyes and flushed cheeks will do you justice, and heโ€™ll send you home without any repercussions. But as of right now, nothing matters, all that did was the fact that you were annoying the boy you loved, and that your pillows were waiting to welcome your tears until tomorrow morning.
โ€”
Itโ€™s been two days. Have you missed school for the past two days? Absolutely not. Suna wasnโ€™t going to make you miss class, as much as you wanted to, you know that if you were going to skip, the school will inform your parents, and that last thing you want is your parents to get involved.
Itโ€™s just been two days since youโ€™ve been to volleyball practice. You havenโ€™t been missing your duties at all though. Yes, youโ€™ve been in contact with the coach and Kita, with them informing you on the notes of the team and each playerโ€™s performance. The reason for that being, some coaches from Tokyo were planning to head down to Hyogo for a volleyball camp. The team needs to know what they have to improve on, and unfortunately, though you felt as if you werenโ€™t in the right state of mind, you had to fulfil your duties as a manager.
Youโ€™re not over Suna, and to be honest, you donโ€™t think you ever will be. Heโ€™s been such a constant force in your life, that a lifetime without his presence captivating your mind felt impossible to even conjure. You love Suna Rintarou, but you guess you would just have to hold it inside until the both of you go your separate ways. Maybe then youโ€™ll get over him, but the possibility seemed unlikely.
You just have to give up expecting the response to your love that youโ€™ve been hoping for your entire life.
Checking the cafeteria and seeing if you had enough food supply for three volleyball teams, their respective coaches, and their managers. It seemed like a chore to do all on your own, and it was. But you committed to being the team manager. Suna wasnโ€™t going to change that whether he liked it or not.
โ€œY/N, the Tokyo teams will be arriving soon. Coach says you need to head to the front and help him with dorm placement.โ€ Sighing and nodding, you get up from your squatting position from the bottom shelf. Kita notices your negative mood, by being the observant asshole that he is. As you were about to exit out the only doorway, he grabs your forearm, holding you back from actually leaving. His sudden touch surprised you, resulting in you jolting back. โ€œIโ€™ve been meaning to ask, are you okay?โ€
His concern falters your thoughts and movements. In all the time that youโ€™ve been manager of the volleyball team, Kita has never really shown you that much care for how you felt. It surprised you a bit, seeing how concerned he looked for your wellbeing.
Yet again, heโ€™s Sunaโ€™s friend.
โ€œIโ€™m okay, why do you ask?โ€ He didnโ€™t believe you, that was clear. It was so obvious when his facial expression did not change, Kita was still staring intently at you. It almost felt like he was trying to read your mind.
โ€œYou dropped your pen, by the way.โ€ Taking it out of his pocket, Kita hands you your familiar piece of stationary, not thinking about it, you grab it from his hand. โ€œI know you were by the locker room when Suna said what he said.โ€
โ€˜Oh shit.โ€™ You felt your heart come to a stop, yet again.
โ€œW-What? I donโ€™t know what youโ€™re talking about.โ€
โ€œSo itโ€™s just a coincidence that after Suna said that about you, I found your pen in front of the locker room door, and you didnโ€™t show up to practise till today? Y/N, Iโ€™m not sure if youโ€™ve failed to learn something about me, but I can tell you that I am not an idiot.โ€
His words caught you off-guard. Kita managed to figure out what was wrong with you, without even knowing who you were. To be honest, it scared you a bit, getting a glimpse of what Kita can truly find out when he concentrated hard enough. You admire that about him.
Taking your silence as you not knowing what to say, Kita lets go of your forearm and sighs.
โ€œSuna didnโ€™t mean what he said. Heโ€™s a very thoughtful individual who was pressured into saying those things by the team. You know how they are. Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.โ€ He begins to walk away, but leaves with a final word, โ€œIโ€™m not telling you to change how you feel about the situation. You have a right to feel how you feel. But, donโ€™t take Sunaโ€™s words too seriously.โ€ Kita walks away, leaving you alone in the cafeteria.
โ€˜Did he just say not to take the insults Suna threw at you seriously?โ€™ The aggression left behind the negativity a few days ago wants to say, absolutely not. What Kita said is unfair, to you and your feelings. Suna called you annoying and said you were smothering him, how can you jump around that? So far you havenโ€™t had a night where you havenโ€™t thought about howโ€ฆmean Suna was. You thought that he only wouldโ€™ve been mean to Atsumu or the others, but not you, never you.
Itโ€™s safe to say that your mind felt like it was on the verge of exploding. It was so stressful to choose whether or not you should believe Kita and show Suna your love again, or just ignore him like what youโ€™ve been doing for the past couple of days.
You think that itโ€™s best to justโ€ฆnot think about the problem. Itโ€™s a situation for later, for now, the camp and most importantly, the team needs your utmost attention.
โ€˜God, I hate high school.โ€™
โ€”
โ€œHey Suna, you good?โ€ Suna takes a sip of water from his bottle, noting that it tasted different from usual. Nodding, he wipes his sweat off with a spare shirt from his bag, also becoming aware that the towel that he was given wasnโ€™t the usual soft one that he had from the beginning of the year. This one was coarse and rough, making him pick up the shirt he intended to wear if he got too sweaty.
โ€œYeah, Iโ€™m fine. Hey, does the water taste a bit weird? Like, spoiled or somethinโ€™ cause it doesnโ€™t taste like how it usually does.โ€ Osamuโ€™s eyebrow raises, grabbing the bottle from Sunaโ€™s hands despite his protests, and tasting his friendโ€™s drink. To him, it tasted normal, like the normal water that came from the water fountain.
โ€œNoโ€ฆit tastes like how it usually does?โ€
โ€œNah, canโ€™t be man. The water I usually have is sweeter and it tastes like fruit juice. This shit tastes weird.โ€ Sunaโ€™s face scrunches up, tasting his water again to see if he was just hallucinating the lack of flavour in his water. Itโ€™s stupid, how much heโ€™s overthinking the flavour of something that he shouldnโ€™t think that much about. But he hates how regular water tastes like, only really drinking it if he has to.
Observing Suna, it clicks in Osamuโ€™s head what was missing from the water.
In the past, he has noticed you getting out a packet of electrolytes and putting it into Sunaโ€™s bottle with a sincere smile on your face. You looked so cute and happy, it puzzled him why you didnโ€™t tell Suna that it was you that was making his water suitable to his tastes. The silent display of affection made him so jealous, he could only wish that he had someone that cared that much.
โ€œWhat if you ask Y/N? Sheโ€™s the one who fills up the water bottles anyway, she should know.โ€ Osamu jogs back to the court, practising once more with the team captain. Inquisitively, Suna does remember that you fill up the water bottles. He also remembered how you asked him once at the beginning of the school year what his favourite drink was, and he only shrugged, saying that he likes fruit chuupets, and ever since then, his water tasted like the familiar fruity taste. Wanting to know why his water hasnโ€™t been tasting like it as of late, it prompted him to go on a search for you. Damn warmups, he needs to know why his water doesnโ€™t have the same taste than it usually does.
Looking around the gym, he sees your figure turn into the hallway. Following you, he begins to walk faster in order to catch up to you, thinking about what to say to you in his head, without coming across as mean.
โ€˜Y/N, why does my water taste bad?โ€™ No. โ€˜Y/N, why doesnโ€™t my water taste like fruit?โ€™ No, heโ€™s going to sound stuck up. โ€˜Y/N, why does my water taste like everyone elseโ€™s?โ€™ Oh God no, that sounds even worse.
โ€˜Y/N, is there something different about my water?โ€™ There you go. That should sound right.
He was ready to confront you, preparing himself to call out your name. But before he could do so,
โ€œDove!โ€ Sunaโ€™s head snaps to the loud voice in front of him, and so does yours, as a tall, lanky, goofy-looking boy makes his way towards you. Much to Sunaโ€™s dismay, for some reason, a smile etches itself onto your face as the other man approaches you. โ€œI thought I would never find you.โ€
โ€œTetsu, arenโ€™t you supposed to be practising with your team? You shouldnโ€™t be behind here.โ€
โ€œWell, I just wanted to see my girl. Is there any harm in that, Dove?โ€
โ€œTetsu, stop,โ€ you mutter, a bit shy, โ€œI donโ€™t want people from my school to hear you call me that.โ€
โ€œAw, youโ€™re still cute as ever. Here, let me help you with that.โ€ Suna sees the guy, โ€˜Tetsuโ€™, grab the basket of water bottles from your hands. You protest, pouting a bit as Kuroo brings the case above your reach so that you wouldnโ€™t be able to get it back. โ€œI havenโ€™t seen you in awhile Dove, let me be nice, okay?โ€
Honestly, he personally doesnโ€™t know what overcame him, but out of nowhere Suna coughed loud enough for the pair to hear. He sees you jump a bit, seeing that one of your teammates, catching you in the midst of a conversation while you were supposed to be doing your duties. And it was even worse for you, as not only was it a teammate, but it was Suna. You assume that he probably hates your guts, based on what he said before. Even so, his glare started to make you feel a bit nervous.
โ€œCan I help you?โ€ Kuroo asks Suna as walks up to the both of them.
โ€œI should be asking you that question. Do you need something from my team manager?โ€ Embarrassed, you look down at your feet, trying to avert your eyes from Suna or Kurooโ€™s.
Kurooโ€™s eyes squint, looking at the middle-blocker who, to his surprise, matches his height. The both of them begin to have a staring competition, as one or the other refuses to tear away the eye contact. It started to worry you, because itโ€™s almost been two minutes of harsh breathing and aggressive stares.
โ€œO-Okay, Iโ€™ll be taking these then.โ€ You grab the crate from Kuroo and begin to make your way to your original location. โ€œGet back to practise guys! Lunch is in thirty!โ€
โ€œWho are you and why were you talking to Y/N?โ€
โ€œWoah, woah, buddy, why are you getting protective? Y/N, is a very, very, close friend of mine, so I think that I have a right to approach her right?โ€ Kuroo smirks, stepping closer to Suna as a form of intimidation. โ€œHow about you? Are you her boyfriend or something?โ€
Suna glares at Kuroo, wanting nothing more than to hit him in the jaw. He would, but one, that would take too much of his energy, and two, heโ€™s pretty sure you would hate him if he does. Still, something in Suna just wanted to tell Kuroo that he was your boyfriend just for him to back off.
But he wasnโ€™t. Because he doesnโ€™t like you. Heโ€™s sure of that.
โ€œNo.โ€ Kuroo laughs, stepping back before turning to make his way back to the gym.
โ€œWell then, that means nothing is stopping me right?โ€ Kuroo walks away, but not before aggressively pushing Sunaโ€™s shoulder back with his own. Though, Suna was too concentrated on what the other boy said to even progress the aggression from the other side.
โ€˜What did he mean โ€˜nothing is stopping him? Is Kuroo going to do something to you? What will Kuroo do thatโ€™ll result in Suna blocking him?โ€™
โ€œSunarin! What are you still doing out here?!โ€ Atsumu shriek could be heard from down the hall, making Suna jump out of his train of thought. He completely forgot that he was even standing here just staring at a wall and thinking of you. That was weird.
He usually never did.
โ€”
The practice game against Inarizaki and Nekoma wasโ€ฆtense.
You could feel the passive aggressiveness coming strangely, from Kuroo and Suna across the net. Everyone else was curious as well, wondering exactly why these two, whoโ€™ve never met before, suddenly have a feud similar to that of a world war. At first, you were completely clueless, but then began to wonder if something happened in the hallway after you left.
Maybe Suna said something to tease Kuroo? Or maybe, it was the other way around and now they just want to kill each other.
In the third set at twenty-two points to Inarizaki and twenty-four points to Nekoma, the stakes and the nerves were equally as high. Nekoma has one win and Inarizaki has the other. It seems that this practice game was being played for far more than it actually was, since Kuroo and Suna never acknowledged each other apart from glaring and swearing at each other under their breath. Their respective teams kept asking them if they were okay, both replying with, โ€œyeah, letโ€™s just win.โ€
โ€œDo you think something happened between Suna and that Nekoma player?โ€ The coach asks you, leaning in and whispering it so that others wouldnโ€™t hear.
โ€œIโ€™m not sureโ€ฆbut they do seem pretty aggressive with one another.โ€
Then, as you look away for just a moment, a spike comes from Nekoma, but was thankfully received by Kita. Following a set by Atsumu, Osamu jumped to spike it down, but was then blocked by none other than Kuroo himself.
At the brink of time, Ojiro retrieves it back, calling Atsumu to set it once more, this time for Suna to powerfully spike it down, aiding them in their two point loss between them and Nekoma. As Suna jumps up, you see Kuroo and Kenma jump as well.
A feeling of failure begins to settle in your heart.
Suna hits the ball, powerfully, the first time youโ€™ve seen him hit a ball with so much energy.
But the ball immediately lands back down onto the same side, Kita not able to have caught up to it in time. Nekoma cheers out loud, congratulating each other on their hard work.
While Inarizaki lost, they began to support each other for their efforts, but you notice that Suna didnโ€™t look as relieved as the others. His stare is hostile, facing towards the otherside where you see Kuroo looking at him with the same confrontational gaze. You swallow nervously, beginning to make your way towards Suna to pull him back. The Inarizaki boys take notice as well, observing how Suna and Kuroo were both stomping their way to each other. The same feeling of failure seeps into your chest again and you could sense something was going to go terribly wrongโ€“
Suna punched Kuroo in the jaw!
Out of nowhere, a fight begins between the two players, both of them tussling with one another in the middle of the court. Kuroo lands a punch on Suna but is equally stunned when Suna fights back almost immediately after. You notice how Kuroo was pulling at his shirt, trying to bring him closer to land another blow, but fails as Suna strikes him one after the other. Both Nekoma and Inarizaki run up to their players, trying to pull them apart from one another.
The coaches start to shout at their players, ordering them to stop what they were doing at once.
Successfully, they both are torn apart from one another, but still continue to fight the air as they try to continue their brawl.
โ€œWhat the hell is wrong with you?!โ€ Your coach asks, trying to instill some discipline into his player. Unfortunately, your heart fails to calm down after witnessing the both of them fight so aggressively. Youโ€™ve never seen Suna fight someone, or him be so mad.
Suna looks up, pulling his arms away from his teammates and stares at you.
As the both of you make eye-contact, you refuse to move from your position and remain shaking. Almost as if you gave him an answer to something, Suna walks away, leaving behind everyone in awe.
Just then, you look up at Kita, who nods for you to go.
โ€˜Should I go?โ€™
The memory of him calling you annoying and smothering comes back in your mind.
โ€˜Does he deserve my comfort?โ€™
โ€œPlease try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.โ€
Putting down the clipboard on the bench, you run outside to try and find Suna. Fall has never been kind to Hyogo, as rain pelts down from the sky, fogging your ability to try and see Suna. You call out his name, but your volume is minute in comparison to the strength of the rain.
Running into the open hallway, you look left and right to try and find the familiar boy. But, no luck. Your heart begins to ache at the realisation that you had no idea where Suna is. You didnโ€™t know what he was doing all by himself in weather like this. Inside, you sincerely hope that he didnโ€™t run out in the street.
โ€˜Oh God, what if he did?โ€™
Out of sheer panic, you run towards the direction of the gate, praying to the heavens that he didnโ€™t do the latter. With rain coming down this hard, you knew that driverโ€™s wouldnโ€™t be able to see as clearly as they usually do. And the thought of Suna running into the street in hopes of getting his comfort jelly chuupets at the convenience store down the road doesnโ€™t make you feel better at all.
You run out the gate, looking towards the direction of the store, failing to catch Suna or any person resembling him standing in the vicinity of it. Trying to get nearer and get a closer look, the sound of a blaring horn fills your ears. Turning to the left, you see a car heading your way, swerving side to side in a skidding motion. The road was so slippery in this type of weather, but why couldnโ€™t you move?
The car was getting closer and your feet felt like they were stuck on the ground.
โ€˜Why canโ€™t I move?โ€™
โ€œY/N!โ€ Your body jerks back to the side. The car swiftly passes the both of you, getting back onto its regular general direction before driving further down the road. You feel your heart beating profusely, your heaving chest moving up and down in hopes of slowing it. โ€œAre you stupid?! What do you think youโ€™re doing?!?โ€
Looking up to thank your saviour, Sunaโ€™s panicked face greets you causing you to go silent. Both at the same time, you feel relief and stress seeing his face. Mostly relief because youโ€™ve finally found him after all the events that occured today.
โ€œAnswer meโ€”โ€œ
โ€œIdiot!โ€ Pushing him back, Suna stands there stunned while you clench your fists by your sides. โ€œWhatโ€”What do you think youโ€™re doing, getting into fights, running out in the rainโ€ฆare you a child?!? What is going on with you??โ€
Suna stands there silently.
โ€œAnd donโ€™t just stand there, I ran out in the road because, because I thought you went to buy your stupid chuupets that you love so much down at the convenience store! You are like a child, wanting fucking food when youโ€™re angry or stressed. You know, I shouldnโ€™t have come out here. In the rain, getting all wet. But you know what Suna, you know whatโ€™s pathetic? This, running in shitty weather like this, wouldnโ€™t only be the most drastic thing I do for you.
Suna, for months, I-Iโ€™ve been buying expensive ass electrolyte packets, because I know you wouldnโ€™t drink regular water. You only drink water that tastes like fruit juice. Thatโ€™s from my own money by the way! I also cook you food, that I spend time out of my nights, and sometimes mornings, because you are picky! I know you donโ€™t like cafeteria food, so I just threw my food into the circle, hoping to God that you just might like it! And-And letโ€™s not forget about my towel, my hand sewn, hand washed, machine dried towel. I bring it for you fresh everyday Suna! I know you donโ€™t like the rough school towels, so I brought mine with my initials!
And do I get noticed? No! I never got a โ€˜thank youโ€™, or even a nod of recognition?! I have Atsumu or Osamu return my bento box in silence, even my towel, thrown into the pile with the rest of the teamโ€™s towels, and I get called annoying. I slave myself every day, Suna, just to get your attention. But I donโ€™t think you realise that, I donโ€™t have to do these things. I have never, ever, forced myself to do these things.
I am sorry, if I smother you Suna. I just love you so fucking much that I donโ€™t realise the things I do to care for you, are exhausting.
But now, Iโ€™m exhausted. Of not receiving the gratitude I expect for the things I do. I was fine for awhile Suna, but now Iโ€™mโ€”โ€œ
Then, you feel yourself being pushed onto his chest. One of Sunaโ€™s arms wrap around your waist, while the other holds your head down gently, as if silencing you from saying the rest of what you wanted to say. You feel shock course through your veins as the last thing you expected was a hug from the Suna Rintarou.
You and Suna stood under the harsh rain, their heartbeats echoing the drumming of waterdrops around them. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in that intimate moment.
โ€œDonโ€™t get tired Y/N, please donโ€™t get tired of me.โ€ Out of nowhere, you feel yourself begin to cry. Wiping your tears onto Sunaโ€™s already wet jersey, he manages to sense your exhaustion, urging him to glide his hand on top of your head continuously. โ€œI am grateful Y/N, that you do all these things for me without me having to ask.โ€
Suna pulls the both of you apart, cradling your face as he attempts to wipe your tears off. Despite his efforts however, you continue to cry, meanwhile struggling to breathe as you attempt to catch your breath. It feels like despite all the tears youโ€™ve cried in private, seeing Suna recognise you brought a whole different wave of emotions.
โ€œDonโ€™t cry, I donโ€™t want to see you crying because of me.โ€ At that moment, Suna ponders for a bit as you see him look at you. You feel yourself freeze as he leans down to plant two kisses on both of your cheeks, an effort to dry your tears. Putting his forehead on yours, his thumbs continuously brush your jawline, as if he was admiring you. โ€œItโ€™s difficult for me to say Y/N, but I love you.โ€
Your eyes widen.
โ€œIโ€™ve loved you since elementary when you pushed that little boy off the swing after he pushed me off. Iโ€™ve loved you since middle school when you would sneakily put chuupets on my desk, even if you thought I didnโ€™t know. Youโ€™re beautiful Y/N. And, Iโ€™m sorry for not thanking you earlier for everything youโ€™ve done for me. Iโ€™m not brave like you, I canโ€™t show the people I love that I care for them.โ€
โ€œB-But the bentoโ€ฆโ€
โ€œOf course I ate it. It hurts me to think that I didnโ€™t, I just always asked Atsumu or Osamu to bring it back. You make me nervous Y/N. I canโ€™t confidently walk up to you when you get prettier every time my eyes turn to you.
You make me weak, Y/N.โ€ You huff, sniffling as Suna lands another kiss on the tip of your nose. He smiles and brings you in for another hug, but this time, your arms wrap around him tightly.
It is difficult to love Suna Rintarou.
It was a path fraught with uncertainties and moments of doubt. But as you stood there, holding the rain-soaked figure before you, you knew that the journey was worth it. Because in the depths of his guarded heart, you had found a love that was as powerful as it was fragile, as beautiful as it was challenging. And you were determined to weather the storm, to be the unwavering presence that helped him navigate the complexities of love and vulnerability.
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emmyrosee ยท 1 month
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angst, you say?
Like, I am sorry to inform you, but when you and Osamu break up, he can no longer see or make or think about your favorite foods.
Your favorite Onigiri? Not on the menu anymore.
Itโ€™s a bizarre recipe too. One he made for you by accident, one you insisted on trying while he was testing new flavor combinations. It was a pain to make, hard to replicate, but for you, heโ€™d do anything, absolutely anything to make you smile.
Now that youโ€™re gone, he saves himself to consistent heartache in making it, taking it off the menu in hopes to combat the sight of you, pleading him to make it, jutting your lip out and clasping your fingers together while he looks you up and down in amusement. Now that youโ€™re gone, he saves himself the trouble of tears stinging his eyes of the memories swirling in his head of you, sitting on the counter as he makes it at home, sneaking bites of rice from him when heโ€™s turned around, only to act like you never did it.
It was on the menu for years. Only one person ordered it consistently. You.
So itโ€™s completely normal why he bites his thumb nail as this damn seven year old, seemingly fresh out of a dance recital comes in, hands and chin hooked on the counter as her mother orders food, asking about her favorite onigiri no longer being served.
โ€œSorry, Miss, we havenโ€™t had that on the menu in months-โ€œ
โ€œBut youโ€™ve gotta make it!โ€ She pouts. โ€œI always get it after my dance recitals! Itโ€™s my favoriteโ€ฆโ€
โ€œYumei, donโ€™t be rude!โ€ Her mother scolds.
Osamu takes a deep breath in and rolls his shoulders, smiling softly at the young girl.
โ€œMaybe I can whip one up. Just for you.โ€ He leans slightly over the register, โ€œbut donโ€™t tell anyone, okay?โ€
She gasps excitedly and bounces on the balls of her feet, squeaking out a โ€œthanks, mister!โ€ as her mother pays.
It kills him as he puts the order into the system for the cooks to make. It kills him as the cooks look at him like heโ€™s got five heads, โ€œwe uhโ€ฆ we donโ€™t know how to make this, Miya.โ€
โ€œThatโ€™s alright,โ€ he chokes, swallowing thickly. โ€œJust watch the register.
โ€œIโ€™ll take care of it.โ€
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sugawarassoccerlover ยท 4 months
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โ€œLet your pain out. Just let it all out, okay? Youโ€™re allowed to cry. Even if it means taking your time. I'm not in any rush, sweetheart, and you shouldnโ€™t rush yourself either. Itโ€™s okay to not be strong for now. Donโ€™t force yourself to be strong. Iโ€™ve got you. I know you're struggling. I know you're tired... I know you're exhausted. Just rest, sweetheart. In my arms, I'll catch you when you fall. I won't let you hit the groundโ€
Koshi Sugawara, Osamu Miya, Kita Shinsuke, Daichi Sawamura, Takashi Mitsuya, Suehiro Tecchou, Sanji Vinsmoke, Kyojuro Rengoku, Kazuha Kaedahara, Kaeya, Satan
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natdu ยท 8 months
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Can i request oikawa, kuroo, semi and suna when their s/o thinks that they have a crush on another girl?
Hi there! Of course you can rq that my dear, I only made 3 of them due to length I hope that's OK with you (oยดโ–ฝ`o)
Pairings: Separate Oikawa, Kuroo & Semi x Fem! Reader
Genre: Angsty to fluff, hurt/comfort
Warnings & content: Grammar - high school and time skip scenario - pet names - slightly slightly suggestive on Kuroo's is barely there - implied short & with a diff aesthetic reader in Semi's - use of Japanese honorifics - Misunderstandings (2) hints of emotional cheating (1)
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Oikawa Toruu x Reader (High-school setting)
When you agreed to date Oikawa you knew the little surprises you would encounter, that of course being his fans
There was literally no place where you wouldn't find them, they came from different schools, another cities, heck even older girls who waited for his discharge of high school like eagles
Were you worried? Not really, Oikawa was actually a really good boyfriend, he started to stop his usual idol persona when he was out with you and someone approached you both. He had tell you once "I don't want to repeat what had happened with my other partners..... I like you too much for my own good"
So what was this feeling? The growing ache and disgust (dare you say) that emanated from your heart?
Recently there was this girl that belonged to the photography club of Seijoh. Her semester task was about movement and she thought that capturing the volleyball team in the middle of training was a good subject, you had to agree with her since it was honestly a cool approach.
Now that automatically meant that she had to spend a lot of time with them, and consequently with Oikawa.
Your walking home conversations started to include a lot of this girl and what she did while they were at practice, how Kindaishi was so nervous he served directly to her and Oikawa was the one who protected her. You know, light stuff like that
Then it evolve into "Oh I'm full dear, Himiko-chan brought some snacks for us and coach approved it, they were soo good!"
Himiko-chan this, Himiko-chan that. Hell, even Iwaizumi seemed a little bit too engaged with this Himiko girl
And today was the day of a supposed date between Oikawa and you since the season had ended and he had more free time
But when you went to the gym to pick him up, green clouded your eyes
This girl was showing Oikawa some photos from her professional camera but she was way too close. Not really touching but, I mean, if he didn't knew what type of perfume she had on then he got sensory problems.
Either way he would have problems with you because how doesn't he notice his dear Himiko-chan is acting way to lovey dovey to be showing just pictures
And he was eating that up, you noticed the slight pride of his gaze and his stupid little smirk
The way you announced your presence with a clear intonation of his name made everyone jolt on their place
Except of course, the threat
"Tooru-kun you have to go now? For real?"
You clenched your fist and tried to put your best customer smile. The audacity of this girl
"Yes he has to go cuz he promised to come when his practice ended. Now if you excuse us"
Oikawa's cheek had turned red, thanks to which feeling? You didn't want to know
"Hey sweetie I didn't forget or anything I swear I just-"
"Oh you just were way too invested in whatever it was that you didn't notice your practice had ended like 20 minutes ago and you didn't inform me if you were alive"
"Aww come on you knew I was alive-"
"Don't you try to play this down Oikawa"
He flinched a little, wow, using last names and everything
"What else did I do wrong?"
"Take a funny guess since you've been spending oh so much time with me"
You knew you were being what people called petty. But how could you not? Sure you would communicate and give him hints but on GOD if he actually didn't know why you were acting like this
You both stayed in silence for a couple of blocks until Oikawa snapped his fingers
"This is about Himiko-chan isn't it?"
"This is about Himiko-chan isn't it?" you mimicked with mockery
"You jealous?"
The tease in his tone would have made your heart jump and your mind to think about a quick come back. But not today
"You tell me Tooru. She's been taking hours from our quality time and I swear you're dumber than Iwa gives you credit if you don't notice she's flirting with you"
"Well I don't answer to her advances,i don't know what you're so defensive about"
Now instead of green, you saw red
"But have you stopped her? Have you given me my place? Or how is it that after months you don't look uncomfortable in the slightest"
You let all your thoughts out, you were exhausted
"Were you enamoured by the renewed feeling of admiration? How she talks sweetly to you to get your attention?"
Silence, once again
"Hmm, just what I thought"
"No babe wait"
"Go home Tooru, I'm not responsible for what I'll say next if we keep this conversation going"
A week passed by and you avoided Oikawa everywhere, and I mean everywhere. He barely saw a glimpse of your hair or your hand turning around a corner. And the emotional loneliness he started to feel was eating him up, but even he knew it was a selfish thought
He knew he had to redeem himself if the apology was ought to be sincere. And oh how he didn't want to mess this up with you
Everyone else but you
"Tooru-kun"
"It's Oikawa for you"
You didn't expect to be listening to a convo like this on a friday afternoon. Add to your shock the utter serious tone Oikawa was using, the one he talked Kageyama to, the one he used when talking to rivals
"B-but you've let me call you like that for a while"
"I didn't give you an explicit green flag to go about it, I ungracefully just let you, I shouldn't had to"
The audible wince of Himiko made you feel a little bad for her. But at the same time you were impressed on how collected Oikawa was behaving
He was not caring about how this girl was going to react
"Don't get me wrong Himiko, you're a great photographer, truly" A set of silence
"But I hurt the person I love the most when I tried to brush your intentions"
You were fully resting your body against the wall, now being all ears to what was developing almost in front of you
"It was bad for you sure, now I see how misleading that was, but I could had stopped it if I gave my girl the bare minimum respect"
He sighed and accommodated his backpack, it was heavy enough for you listen to it. That was accompanied with little sobs, thankfully not yours
"So I'm now telling you: I love my darling, more than anything in this shallow world" Another sigh
"And that means we'll need boundaries if you want to keep your project up with us. Understood?"
A broken answer was given and Himiko-chan was finally out of your radar, the pit pat of her shoes merging with the environment
"Well well, now to find my baby and apologise in a decent oh"
You stepped out just in time to be at his level
"Did Iwa coached you to this?"
"No I...." He sighed heavily and gave you a sad look "I Reflected on what you told me and I realize how is not enough to 'stop doing' is also about 'start doing' and that is... Actually give myself as off limits even when you're not around"
He looked right at your eyes, a little puffy, a little hurt
A little hopeful
"I'm sorry. I assure you that I didn't even entertained the thought of having something with her, not even in a joking idolistic way....
"It still hurt Tooru"
"I know, so please, let me make it up to you"
Because Oikawa Tooru was better boyfriend than anyone could give himself credit. Because the thing that was being with you filled him more than anything in the universe, to the point he was willing to die to himself. Die to his ego
His fans would come and go as the wind
But you, you were his eternity
Kuroo Tetsuro x Reader (timeskip)
You had to blink multiple times as to register how Kuroo's folder is now weirdly color coded with bright papers
"Tetsu what is this? Never knew you were into crafting?"
"What? Oh! That's Nana's doing"
"Nana?"
Ah yes, Kuroo's "work wife". You had been his plus one in a recent JVA dinner party and this "Nana" was a hot topic. Apparently she was everyone's work wife, but seemed to have a soft spot for what was yours
"Yup, she saw my folder and gave me an earful of how I was supposed to function as a member of a sport promotion division if I couldn't keep my stuff as organised as volleyball is"
"Oh ok?"
"She's a big help for all of us, don't you think?" Like that he kissed the crown of your head and headed to the room, as if was nothing
One day, two days, a whole week goes by and she keeps coming into your house in the form of an embroided lavender flower on a handkerchief, the one you gave to him on his promotion day
Then is a bag of baked goods (you hated to admit that those little b*tches tasted like heaven)
An useful-for-the-house trinket, a handmade magnet with the office's checklist. More and more favors and gifts keep coming
And yet you have a blank space on who this woman is, who has that much time in an office to be so lovey dovey with everyone. And how subtle does she appear to be so your husband didn't even flinch at these forms of affection
It didn't sit right to your heart how comfortable Kuroo seemed to be with this whole show
Then Kuroo started to arrive late, later than he used to. Nor that he acted in a sketchy way apart from that but still... It was like a punch to your throat. Your mom had always told you "If your man stays at work more than they need him too, is cuz he found a reason to stay there"
So you did what every sane person would have done in a situation like that. Go to his office and see the truth for yourself
The ding of the elevator was brown noise to you. Stepping out of it immediately brought the attention of your husband coworkers, they obviously knew who you were
Then a little hunched lady, someone old enough to be your granny, stepped in to greet you
"Heya miss, Who are you looking for darling?"
"Oh uh good evening I'm looking for Kuroo Tetsuro"
"Ah yeah he's drinking something in the break room, let me get you there"
Both of you walked to the said place. The woman smelled like fresh baked cookies and you couldn't help to smile, it wasn't common to have older people in places like this. You were happy for her on whatever dutie she was performing for a volleyball agency
"Excuse me auntie, do you know if perhaps he was with someone, a girl maybe?"
"I've seen no other woman more than you crossing those doors miss. So, unless we have a surprise colleague here, no dear"
Soon you reached your destiny and you found Kuroo.... Alone, drinking his plain tea
"Tetsu-chan this gorgeous woman was looking for you"
You grimaced internally, if the new eye candy wasn't in this division did that mean that he was chatting with her on the phone? Did they crossed each other on bars? The fear was consuming you
Ironically, Kuroo seemed a little too thrilled to have you there in front of him. He shifted his feet slowly but there was not an ounce of guilt or fear in his eyes. You really didn't know if that was good or bad
"Oh my Nana you're an angel getting her to me. Thank you, I'll be back in a minute"
Wait, hold up
"Nana?"
"Oh yeah that's my name darling, a little too young toned isn't it?"
You blinked once, twice
"You're his work wife?"
The lady furrowed her brows and looked at Kuroo as if she wanted to bury him underground
"Do you boys keep with that nonsense? Do you know how disrespectful it sounds to your partners? These young people I swear" she said shaking her head and sighing deeply
Kuroo only had an amused smile and held you tightly as you both now faced the troubled Nana
"I don't use the term itself blame Kento-san from marketing"
He was cut off by your giggling and your figure crouching almost touching the floor
"Oi what's so funny?"
"I'm not making fun of you, I'm relieved" you said between watery giggles
"I thought... I thought you were having a work wife in more ways than one"
Both of them looked at you. Your husband in horror and sadness, Nana with compassion and understanding
"Hon, if this man was cheating believe me that by now he would have his eyes far up his -"
"Oi Nana-san the CEO needs ya, oh shit sorry I interrupted something"
Needless to say the man (Kento-san) was taken away by his ear thanks to your new friend
You kept on the ground for a while until Kuroo sat down right beside you
"Did I neglect you that much the last week?"
You shook your head "It was a mix of you arriving late and the little gifts she gave to you... I would had appreciated if I knew the infamous Nana was the office's assigned grandma"
"She's actually our CEO's granny, but takes care of us like we are her kids"
"Huh then why did they called her 'work wife'? That's a Freudian shit right there"
He laughed and held your hand giving it a soft squeeze
"Well this is my sign to better communicate my anecdotes.... I'm sorry"
"Mmm... OK actually why were you so late tho?"
His laughed echoed into the small room and he took a handkerchief filled to the brim with beautiful embroided flowers
"Learned to did this in a week. Sorry, I should had tell you"
You sighed in relief once again "God we suck at surprising each other"
"I was gladly surprised to see you here today wifey, except for the cheating suspicion part. I never want you to feel like that ever again even if it's a misunderstanding"
In a sudden movement and manhandling moment, he put you up to your feet and he kneeled in front of you smiling, just like when he asked you out in college
"So.... Will you give me the honor of being my home AND work wife? Forever?"
You were the next week's hot topic on why Kuroo seemed extra relaxed and laid back, almost dreamily meeting his deadlines as the tiniest marks of purple peaked through his perfect ironed shirt.
"Lucky bastard. You'll be a dad in no tim-! ouch! Nana-san!"
Semi Eita x Reader (timeskip)
"Eita I assure you that if moshpits weren't as aggressive I would be in the public but I... It scares me ok?"
"Baby it's like a grown up version of push and pull. Besides you can always step aside when you want"
You whined under your breath and buried your head in the nearest pillow "I don't wanna Semi please?"
"Doll I can't have you packed up in the scenario each time, this place is reduced and you may get hurt upstage"
Huh?
"Are you serious?"
What started like a little banter about you being at the same level as his attendees migrated to an argument about his apparent worry
"If I'm such a hassle and a nuisance backstage you could just had said so"
"That's definitely not what I meant"
"Oh really? Then how is it that I'm safer surrounded by men and women at least 6 cm taller than me that will be jumping around looking for the next non alt looking girl to yeet into the distance?"
"Oh please" Semi said as he rolled his eyes and stood up, picking his stuff from the couch
"If the things I love actually frighten you so much you're free to stay here"
Without the chance to answer he closed the door with a soft 'click'
Your only companion was the sting under your eyes and your misty vision
Later, when you were already curled up in bed trying to catch some sleep, you felt the soft steps of Semi's boots against the floor. What brought your attention to a more conscious state was the muffled sound of his voice chatting with another on the doorstep, then the same 'click' and now he was walking throug the apartment.
You closed your eyes and pretended to be asleep, scared of the confrontation on what happened earlier
To your blessing or rather dismay, Semi only connected his phone to the charger and layed down on his side of the bed with a soft 'huff'
The next day brought a new heartache to your soul as Semi wasn't there when you woke up. You cried, again
Then a text caught your eye, it was Semi's
"A new drummer joined the band yesterday"
Three dots.... Three dots...
"We'll be celebrating and introducing them in the pub near our apartment if you wanna come"
You wiped the remainder of your tears as you looked at your closet. You knew how that pub looked like, you knew what type of regulars it had.... And it was nothing like you
Afraid of what his words would be this time you rejected the invitation
"Not feeling so well Eita, I'll pass. Enjoy yourself"
And boy he did enjoy himself
Semi made him present at the fashionable 4 am mark of your kitchen clock, high on excitement with loud laughs and sentences. You heard his confession into the dark of the dawn even before he arrived to the porch
"I haven't had this fun on ages guys, you, you are a monster"
A quick glance through the window gave you context of his fond words
A woman with the most luscious black hair ever, tall, built like a model with full on rock attire was the one receiving the praise.
You stepped back from the window and ran to the bedroom, to the safety of your bed
If she was the new drummer you couldn't help but to feel a little self conscious, hell you felt a lot self conscious
And it didn't turn better, because the next days, even if Semi never picked up the initial argument again, he seemed to be relevied of not having you in his gigs. And there were always, always, words of amazement for Mrs drummer girl
Rei knew where to find the last instrument gadgets, knew a lot of classic bands, knew this and that. She was not only pretty but was a whole library on Semi's interest
"Rei's pretty skilled with the drums doll, you should come and see us play soon"
And watch him flirt with her on the stage? No thank you
But then, after a pep talk with your friends. You saw how you shouldn't leave it like this, at least you should fight for the relationship, right?
So, you paired some of Semi's clothes that actually fitted you and arrived to the place were he would play. You walked up to the stage and saw Rei, fidgeting with the drumsticks, playing around
Fuck, she was gorgeous.
And she surely noticed your gaze however her reaction shocked you. She rested her cheek on her hand and gave you a soft look,then she was called backstage and gave you a playful wink before disappearing through the courtain
If she was being a redemption of a reverse pick me girl she was playing it rather convincingly
Soon after you felt your sleeve being tugged by an astonished Semi
"Hey there, you haven't come for a while. Why didn't you tell me? I could have walked you here"
His demeanor made you uncomfortable. It would be a lie to say that you weren't hurt by his (apparently) forgotten words and his newfound "obsession"
"I knew how to arrive just right, I'm not a scary kitten"
He then opened his mouth but was cut short by his bassist
"Yo Semi time to come up here, we're 'bout to start"
He sighed and gave you an apologetic look "Come here, we can talk when we finish"
"I'll stay down here"
"Hah?"
You stood your ground, crossing your arms over your chest and giving him the look
"I said I'm staying here, I don't need to be up there since it is so inconvenient"
"Babe you're still at it? Come on-"
"Eita man hurry up!"
He furrowed his brows and groaned. But as he looked at you he knew you were to stubbornly stay there
"We'll talk about this later. Be safe"
And with a jump he got on the stage as the place started to get crowded
The gig was good, you always enjoyed it. And being honest, the only mosh pit that developed during it didn't even end with a broken nose, so you actually spent a good time with this new perspective
Surprisingly, you noticed how Rei and Semi's interactions on stage were futile. Maybe a look or two but nothing that made your heart clutch of pain on your chest. It felt rather natural
Finally, after the last encore, all the band +you were in the dressing room. Semi seemed ansty to talk to you, masked down with his usual frown
Rei had only chuckled and smiled at some of the parts of the conversation. So you came up to her, if she was shitty you could have fundaments for hating her, if not, you knew you should focus your temper on Semi
Until she opened her mouth and you were on for a surprise
"Damn Semi if I knew your girl was gonna be here I would have put on some cologne"
That was a whole ass man
"You're...... You're a guy"
She, he? Chuckled loudly and gave you a crooked smile
"What can I say? I'm taking 'Dude looks like a lady' to a whole new level love"
A string of uneven chords crossed the air and Semi placed down his guitar with the deepest scold on his face. Not even with the teasing Tendou had you seen him like this
"Stop flirting with my girl"
"D'aww I'm your protรจge. Don't I even deserve a peck?"
"Don't you even dare"
After some more teasing, a wrap up of the gig and a smack at the back of Rei's head you both were now walking back home
"Didn't know you thought Rei was a lady" was Semi's cut into the silence
You scowled in embarrassment
"I had never spooked to him and he looks even better than me, it's not fair how pretty his hair is"
Then you felt the same tug on your clothes, well his clothes
"They suit you, you know? But I love your usual outfits too"
"Eita...."
"What I'm trying to say is.... I'm sorry, for dismissing your worries, for accusing you" he chuckled dryly "And for making you worry about a non existent woman"
"Hmm?"
"I know the look you get when you're worried, and you stopped wearing that glittery eyeshadow you love. You only do that when you're fully stressed"
He held both of your hands giving them soft kisses over the knuckles
"I'm sorry, don't ever change or expose yourself for the sake of demonstrate me something"
You sighed, feeling light hearted and with renowned affection for the man in front of you
"I have to apologise too. I talked a little bit from prejudice about the public, I actually had a nice night, most of them were incredibly polite"
"Still" A shared laugh between you and you were back home
"Let me make it up to you?"
"Find out Rei's hair products and all be good"
"And you won't get close to him?"
"Hmm maybe?
"Babe!"
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Woh another rq from months ago that I managed to finish ( ยด โ–ฟ ` ) ah I'm embarrassed on how long it took me anon I hope you're around to see it
As usual with long stuff it may have different vibes, I hope its decent to read for y'all
Natdu
2K notes ยท View notes
ilovebokutokoutaro ยท 2 years
Text
Rue
Atsumu x reader
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Warnings: neglection, toxic relationship, major character deaths, angst (what were you expecting from me istg๐Ÿ˜ญ), blood, accident, crying, gaslighting, blaming oneself.
โœง๏ฝฅ๏พŸ: *โœง๏ฝฅ๏พŸ:*
"maybe dying really is a relief sometimes."
โœง๏ฝฅ๏พŸ: *โœง๏ฝฅ๏พŸ:*
"I'm trying to talk to you here tsumu please" you found yourself begging for yet another response from him and you couldn't help but hate it, couldn't help but hate him for making you feel like you meant nothing.
"ugh I'm not in the mood" he grumbled, pushing himself in the seat more comfortably. and it had you sighing agressively, pushing on the accelerator just a bit harder. If it was any other day you'd have waited, but how many times has it been already? When would he hear you out? How many more months untill he's in the mood to talk to you finally?
"I've waited too long miya I'm getting tired so tired of you" you cried, your eyes shutting close for a split second as the tears blurred your vision making it harder to drive in the dark rainy road.
And you hands grabbed the steering wheel untill your knuckles turned white when you heard him let out a low groan in annoyance.
"me too you know, I'm getting tired of you always fucking bothering me, i don't have time for your bullshit y/n. And what now? Trying to gain my attention by calling me miya? Bet you must be screaming other guy's name when I'm not home for a few hours-" he started and you choked back on a sob before turning to look at him.
"weeks miya atsumu, weeks. you're not home for weeks. And me? You don't even hear me screaming your name, how do u hear me screaming someone else's name when i don't even do it?" Your eyes burned as more tears blinded your visoon but you could sure see the annoyance in his face.
"maybe I've turned deaf from your constant yelling that's why i can't hear you sCreAMinG mY nAmE" he laughed, with a high pitched voice to mock your own broken cries. And you just couldn't anymore. "I think we should end this here miya" you sighed, finally feeling the courage to get yourself out from the living hellhole.
"oh please I've been asking you to stop fighting with me for ages, thank god, i thought you'd never end this nagging" he sighed, getting back on his phone and you chuckled at his lack of concern.
"not this fight....i meant us tsumu. Let's end this relationship please i can't take it anymore" you sobbed, licking your chapped and dry lips as you took in a sharp breathe.
There was a moment of silence before he looked up at you, "hm? You said sum?" And it was maybe a breaking point, your sobs couldn't seem to stop. You couldn't seem to wipe away your wet cheeks out of tears, cuz another tear would always dampen your attempts turning more and more futile.
"ugh stop crying" he grumbled his eyebrows furrowing as a pit of guilt started filling him up. He had never seen you cry like this- let alone sob so hard you could barely breathe. And the pit only grew wider with the next text he recieved.
You couldn't help it, grabbing his phone out of his hands, you couldn't stop yourself from trying to throw it in the backseat untill you saw the next picture. "Pls stop flirting with me I've a gf" you read his text followed by a nude picture of his manager, it had all hopes of making it better shattering to pieces, you told him multiple times how you didn't like his manager but he always yelled at you for being too clingy.
And immediately he was stealing his phone away from your trembling hands. You opened your lips to say something but you could feel the words dying down in your throat. Tears wouldn't stop fogging up your vision as you stared at him, you could see guilt painting his face as he finally threw his phone down. "baby i swear i can explain" he started but couldn't seem to complete as you completely broke down.
Your eyes were barely focusing on the road anymore, light gasps filled the air as you tried to catch your breathe. And the last thing you heard was atsumu's loud yelling to watch out, you could see the faint of red flashing on your side of the window and as you turned your head to look at it, your eyes widened in surprise, hitting the accelerator and wishing you'd get away before the truck hit your vehicle.
And you were sure you were almost out of the way, before feeling a huge blow at your side, head banging against the cracked glass of the window you could feel yourself losing consciousness. And the last thing on your mind was atsumu.....and his lack of comcern towards you, you kind of wished you'd not have to wake up from this terrible nightmare, you kind of wished you'd die.
Atsumu's pov:
As the situation finally start sinking in, i couldn't help but stare at her wide eyed, watching how she sobbed helplessly, and just as i was about to tell her i loved her and i was sorry i could see a truck approaching us at an illegal speed. I watched as she turned to her side and panicked. The car accelerating and i almost throught we had gotten away from it.
But the huge blow had me gasping for air, the car flipped multiple times and my eyes welled up with tears from the lack of air, the glass from my window shattering and piercing my skin, but what burned wasn't the wounds but my chest when i looked at my side.
She laid there lifeless, i could see the blood seeping out from her ear and nose along with her forehead. Oh god this isn't happening rn....i couldn't even tell her i was sorry i couldn't even tell her how much i loved her.
"pls oh god" i cried tears and blood turning my vision slightly red as i yanked at the seatbelt harshly. I could feel all the pain in my body vanish as i pulled her in my chest, crawling out of the car with her in my arms may as well be the hardest part.
As i stumbled out of the car i could feel my left leg throbbing and i collapsed, her body still safe in my arms and i wished she'd blink, her eyes were left open and her body paled to colourless. I wished this was all nightmare and i could wake up right next to her in our bed.
I hope i was dead instead. And as the thoughts of her leaving filled my brain i gasped, sobbing and pulling her into my chest.
"pls oh god pls I'm so sorry, wake up y/n you can't leave me like this I'm sorry I'm so sorry please please please" i begged cradling her bloody face in my hand as i pressed her closer to my chest, choked sobs escaping my bloodied lips as she stared into nothingness.
I could hear the sirens coming closer, and my heart stopped as they pulled her out of my arms. My heart clenching as they shook their heads, indicating she was no more. I couldn't accept it i couldn't let her go just yet. At least give me a chnace to apologise for everything i did, please just one more chance. I begged to a nameless god as i saw them shutting her eyes close with their hands, this couldn't be happening.
I couldn't even get up to bid her a goodbye as thry dragged me away to a place i couldn't comprehend. Not untill i sat wrapped in baidaids, staring at the tree far outside the window blowing softly against the wind. "Let's go..... I'm done with the formalities" osamu nudged my side and i stood up, without facing him.
I felt nothing as he sighed and walked out of the huge building, i groaned and insisted to walk instead of getting in the car. Osamu sighed before pushing me in again despite my loud yelling to let me go.
My heart ached as he started the car, memories of her lifeless body haunting me to the point of tears, i wished i was dead instead, and as i walked down the hallway, people mourning everywhere i wished she wouldn't hate me for even stepping inside a building where her funeral was held. I hoped i could have showed her how much i love her just once again.
I begged for forgiveness as i stepped closer to her coffin. Her pretty smile adorning the picture put above. I slowly sat down on my knees, hands unconsciously coming into a stance of prayer as i begged for her forgiveness silently, tears flooding my eyes as i looked at her lifeless and wounded body. "I'm so- I'm so sorry" i hiccuped as my head met the hardfloor beneath.
I deserved this, i knew it very well but i was too selfish to not beg for another chance, i was too selfish to wish i was the dead one instead. I was too selfish. I wondered if i could ever get rid of this guilt, maybe in another life i would get to beg for her forgiveness, maybe in another life i wouldn't be walking aimlessly on the roadside. Maybe in another life.
And maybe my wishes came true as a huge blow struck at my side, the car screeching to a stop as i laid down a few feet away, feeling the rain burn my unhealed wounds, i could feel the unconsciousness setting in as osamu screamed at me to wake up. "I deserve it." I mumbled, grabbing his hand to stop him as he looked down at me with tears.
The last thought that occupied his head was maybe he'll get to beg for her forgiveness, he knew it was too much to ask, but so was him getting the relief of death right after her.
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shrimpari ยท 3 months
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They play volleyball together on the weekends
Did that steven panel redraw circulating on Twitter
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tetsumie ยท 7 months
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โ€œ๐˜๐Ž๐”โ€™๐‘๐„ ๐’๐Ž ๐‚๐‹๐ˆ๐๐†๐˜โ€ โ€” ๐๐“ ๐Ÿ
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read part 1 here!
pairing: kuroo x reader & kenma x reader
genre: hurt/comfort
a/n: hello !! sorry for being gone for soooo long D: i wasnโ€™t doing well and was in a really bad place mentally.. (plus burnout ๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ˜“) but regardless tysm for all the love in the first part of this fic! i appreciate u all sm and iโ€™ll work on getting asks in! thank u for being so patient w me !! luv u :D
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kuroo tetsuro
you woke up late today and weren't surprised that kuroo had already left for work by the time you woke up. but he did leave you a post-it note saying he made breakfast leftovers for you in the fridge.
you smile at the thought that kuroo took the time out of his day to make some food especially in the morning. however, as you're getting ready for the day, your eye catches the lunch bag that's sitting on the kitchen bar countertop.
"this idiot," you mumble, shaking your head with a smile on your face. you pull out your phone and shoot him a text.
y/n: thanks for the breakfast it was really good
tetsu: im glad :)
y/n: also you left your lunch at home stupid
tetsu: oh shit
tetsu: can you drop it off for me? i cant come home to pick up, im in a meeting rn
y/n: yeah that's fine
tetsu: thanks baby ill kiss u when i see u
tetsu: love u 2 the moon and back !!
y/n: ur so weird
y/n: love u 2 the moon and back <3
a few hours pass by and now you're taking the bus to head to kuroo's office with his lunch bag in hand. before leaving the house, you decided to swap his current lunch which was some leftovers with his favorite food, grilled salted mackerel.
you enter his office floor and are greeted by the office receptionist from the floor. "i'm just here to drop off some food for kuroo-san."
"oh yes, right this way," she stands up and opens the office door for you and points out where his room is.
as you're about to knock on his door, you hear his voice from the other side. "i'm not sure if i can come out tonight to eat kenma. y/n probably wants me home, you know how clingy they get sometimes."
your heart sinks to the floor.
has he always thought of me this way? clingy? i didn't mean to act that way? i just like being in his company. i didn't mean to be clingy. i didn't know he felt that way...
"anyways, i'll call you back kenma. i gotta get back to work. see ya later" he ends the call.
you take a deep breath, standing in front of the door, thinking about kuroo's words to his best friend. before you could even knock, the door opens and you're greeted by kuroo.
"oh y/n! you should've texted me you were here!"
you let out a laugh that sort of dies in your throat. "oh um i just wanted to surprise you that's all."
"come in, let's eat together. you can see the beautiful downtown view from here," he tries to usher you inside his personal office room.
you're a little uncomfortable so you hold yourself back from going on, "maybe another time, yeah? i gotta head back. i've got a lot of work to do with college and work and stuff."
"no yeah of course, i get it. work hard! but first..." kuroo smiles and before you can pull away, he kisses you on the head. "i'll see you when i get home. love you!"
too ashamed to even look at him as you walked out of his office, you just wave to him with your back facing him as you walked away.
you're now sitting on the bus on the way home, thinking about the way he called you clingy. "you know how clingy they get.." has he always thought i'm clingy? has he just been putting up with my annoying habits? i thought he liked the way i treated him. i didn't know he thought it was clingy.
you're trying to look back at your actions and now it's all coming back to you.
you're always trying to kiss him, hug him, cuddle him. you're always talking to him about random things from an occurrence at the grocery store to some new show you're watching. literally last night, you both were cuddling while watching a new episode of kuroo's favorite sit-com and you were running your fingers through his hair.
it all made sense.
you were clingy.
and he wanted space.
you were going to respect that.
kuroo comes home later that evening and announces himself with an "i'm home!"
you're on the dining table with the computer open, working on some new assignment and you smile at him. "welcome home," you say with a smile.
he's expecting you to get up and come over and hug him like you usually do but to his surprise, you continue to look back at your computer.
he assumes you're just busy and doesn't think much of it.
kuroo heads into the shared bedroom to unwind from his hectic day at work. he takes a shower and changes into some pajama pants and is now heading back to the living room to see what you're up to.
you're still sitting on the dining table with all your notebooks splayed out and computer open, working on what seems to be some really big project. he plops down next to you and starts squinting at the screen. he starts poking you to grab your attention from the screen.
"the mackerel was really good today."
"that's good."
silence envelops the atmosphere between the both of you until kuroo decides to speak again.
"what are you working on?"
"college stuff."
"maybe take a break now?" he suggests.
"i can't. it's due soon," your voice flat. "if you want dinner, there's some leftovers i made in the fridge."
"alright," he replies, getting up from the chair to the kitchen to warm up some food.
his shoulders droop a little. he was hoping to spend some time with you. but he is aware that something is off with you. he's not sure what it is but he knows something isn't right. you haven't given him a single kiss or even a hug since he's been back and your usual sarcastic remarks are gone.
you've barely even acknowledged his presence.
"maybe it's just an off day?" is what he convinces himself.
but those "off days" are starting to become more consistent.
you're out of bed before he wakes up in the morning and you barely talk to him when he comes home. you always end up sleeping after he falls asleep and he can't even stay up because of how exhausted he gets after work. the amount of physical affection has declined from you and every time he texts or talks to you, your replies are barely existent.
it feels like he's living by himself. when did it get so cold?
on the other hand, you think it's going well! you haven't been all up in his business lately. you're giving him the space he wants. you're hoping that kuroo is feeling much happier since you're smothering him less. sure, you miss getting to hold and cuddle him but this is what he wanted, right?
now that the week is over, kuroo is hoping to spend the weekend with you.
that morning, kuroo sets an alarm to wake up earlier than you in hopes of spending some extra affectionate time with you. however, the moment he wakes up, the other side of the bed is empty and cold.
he has no choice but to get out of bed to see where you are. there's no way you're up right now. at 7 am on a weekend? no way.
he walks out of the room and he feels his heart chip. you're sleeping on the couch, slightly shivering because the blanket you're using barely covers you. have you been sleeping on the couch this past week? why didn't i notice? kuroo begins to internally berate himself right now for letting you sleeping on the couch for this past week right under his nose.
with no hesitation, he bridal-style carries you back into the shared bedroom and tucks you under the duvet cover and comes back into bed.
however, you've already woken up and you sit up on the bed, startled. "w-what? where am i?"
he scoffs, "i brought you in our bedroom idiot."
"oh," you're now grabbing your stuff and climbing out to go back to the couch but kuroo stops you by grabbing your arm.
"where are you going?"
"to the couch?"
"but this is our bedroom?"
"no, this is your bedroom," you emphasize.
"y/n." his tone feels cold to you. "talk to me."
"we are talking, are we not?"
he starts scratching the back of his neck. "yes but you know it's not the same. what's going on baby?"
his hand to tries to reach your cheek to stroke it with his thumb but you turn away and immediately stand up from his bed. "it's okay kuroo, please go back to sleep. it's the weekend, you should rest."
his heart chips at the gesture. why are you avoiding him like this? what did he do? what happened to 'tetsu?'
"it's tetsu to you," he mumbles.
you open your mouth but shut it and cast you eyes away from his stare down at the floor.
"it's always been tetsu to you," he states.
you're still silent and he takes it as his queue to continue speaking.
"baby, everyday i come home from work and you barely acknowledge me. you're always busy doing 'college stuff' or something else. you barely hug me or even kiss me anymore. what happened? what did i do? did i do something wrong? did i overstep my boundaries? are you mad at me about something? please i wanna know what i did wrong so i can fix myself."
your heart softens at his words and you begin to immediately reassure him.
"there's nothing wrong with you... nothing has ever been wrong with you... i just want to work on giving you your space. i know that you think i'm clingy and so i wanted to work on just giving you room to breathe. i know i can be a little too much sometimes. i'm sorry for not realizing how clingy my actions were sooner. i'm sorry i-"
he immediately walks over to you and brings you to his chest, hugging you tightly. your eyes slightly widen. "don't you dare fucking apologize. it's not your fault. shit, it's never been your fault, baby. what made you even think that?"
in embarrassment, you mumble, "i heard you say i'm clingy to kenma. sorry i didn't mean to overhear."
"oh, my love," he pulls away and looks at you with a sad look in his eyes. "it's not what you think."
he sighs and he sits on the side of the bed and taps the bed space in front of him for you to sit down as well. "kenma's been trying to get me to go meet some new volleyball members to affiliate them with the jva and to be honest, i already have so much on my plate with the current affiliates, that i'm really trying to avoid going out for dinner with him. i'm trying to get one of my coworkers to go on my behalf to seal the deal but i can't find anyone willing to."
"i just used your name as an excuse. i swear on my life, i never really meant that. i never ever meant to hurt you."
still finding it hard to believe him, you mumble, "you don't need to lie.. i understand if-"
"y/n, i swear on my mother, i'm not lying," he interrupts. "every single fucking day, the only think i ever look forward to is seeing your beautiful face in my apartment. i look forward to your rambles about the new show you started watching or how the current professor you're shadowing is a douche. i love your bear hugs and i love the way you kiss me all over my face in the mornings. fuck, i love knowing that i get to go to sleep with you every night and i get to wake up to you every morning. i love you, just the way you are. please don't ever change yourself over some fucking lie i said."
"i'm so sorry y/n, so sorry for ever making you doubt my love for you," he intertwines his hand in yours and looks into your eyes. "i'll do anything to regain your trust.
he senses the hesitation in your eyes and honestly, he can't blame you. you've been harboring this guilt for a week and it makes sense that you're still feeling a little uncomfortable around him.
but to his surprise, you inch your way closer to him and hug his chest and the tears begin to fall. his body tenses and he feels so guilty about everything. he rubs reassuring circles on your back and kisses your head every few moments.
after you wipe your tears on his shirt, you look up at him and honestly kuroo hates to admit this but you still look gorgeous even with a tear stained face. he's grinning at you and begins to pepper your face with his kisses.
"love you to the moon and back," he whispers into your ear.
you chuckle and kiss him on the lips. "love you to the moon and back, tetsu."
in that moment, he swears to himself that he'll make sure that you never have to doubt his love for you ever again.
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kozume kenma
as the ceo of his own startup company, a youtube streamer, and a college student, kenma can almost never find any time to himself. the only time he really feels at peace is either when he's asleep or when he's with you.
but sometimes things get so hectic and suffocating, he just wants to be alone, away from the world.
after a long day of classes, you walk into your shared apartment and you can hear kenma talking from his bedroom/home office. you try to keep quiet not disturbing him.
in hopes of cheering him up, you decide what better way to do so by making his favorite food: apple pie. you put down your stuff on the living room couch, grab the apron, and get to work.
kenma stays locked up in his bedroom for the majority of time that you're baking and a part of you just hopes that maybe he'll come out to just say "hi" or just accompany you to see what you're up to but unfortunately he doesn't.
after the pie is done baking in the oven and you've brought him a slice so he can get some food in his system because you're sure he hasn't been taking care of himself. you're hoping that maybe, just maybe, the both of you will finally get to spend some time together.
you knock on the door twice.
no response.
you knock once more and call out his name, "kenma, you busy still?"
still no response.
you sigh, realizing there was no hope in knocking, and decide to twist the knob and enter his room. you're greeted with the sight of him sitting on his gaming chair, knees to his chest, headphones over his ears, and slightly biting the eraser top of his pencil.
he must have felt the presence of someone else in the room with him because he looked away from his computer screen and his eyes widened. he slid his headphones off his ear and hung them around his neck.
"how long have you been home?" he bluntly asks.
"for an hour or two now, i think," you reply.
โ€œoh sorry, i didnโ€™t see you,โ€ he mumbles.
you chuckle in response. โ€œi didnโ€™t think you would considering youโ€™ve been cooped up in your room the entire time.โ€
โ€œwell yeah,โ€ he says. โ€œiโ€™m busy.โ€
as heโ€™s about to put his headphones back on and get back to work, you speak up. โ€œi know youโ€™re busy but do you wanna eat with me? i made-โ€
โ€œcan we talk later? i donโ€™t have time for your clinginess right now.โ€
oh.
he puts his headphones on and indulges himself back in his work, not even registering the weight of his words.
you slowly walk out of his room, silently close the door, grab yourself a slice of apple pie originally made for the both of you, and plop yourself on the couch to watch some new show on the television.
after working for nearly hours on end, kenma finally finishes the load of work he had piled. now all he wants to do is just spend some time with you before going to bed. he walks out of the bedroom and is greeted by you asleep with the television humming in the background.
he can't help but let a small smile envelop his features. it's such a domestic sight and he wants to photograph this moment in time.
he knows he said some harsh words to you out of frustration but he hopes that you understand that he didnโ€™t truly mean them.
he goes over and kisses your forehead and he smells the distinctive scent of apple pie and his heart softens at the thought that you made him his favorite food.
he goes over to his bedroom, grabs a blanket and lays it over you and goes under the blanket, snuggling himself closer to you. he hasn't felt this relaxed in a while and your presence is just so comforting to him.
he doesn't know what he'd do without you.
the next morning, you wake up and find yourself in an awkward position and your feel arms wrapped around your torso. you look to your left and are greeted by kenma's sleeping figure and you can't help but smile.
but you remind yourself of what he told you yesterday and you silently get up from the couch and begin to get ready for the rest of your day.
his words, "i don't have time for your clinginess right now", really had sent you into a spiral last night and you were too exhausted to think clearly. did you always come off as clingy to him? you were definitely a bit more energetic and enthusiastic than him but you never thought it was clingy?
you can't seem to think straight so you decide to maybe go out for a walk, just to take your mind off things. you just need some time alone, away from your apartment with him.
kenma wakes up only a few minutes later and he feels cold. his neck is sore, considering how he slept in an uncomfortable position because he wanted to sleep with you. however, to his surprise, he doesn't find you asleep next to him.
as he walks around the house, calling your name, a sense of urgency begins to form in the pit of his stomach.
he dials your number and it goes to voicemail.
he does it again. still voicemail.
he's about to call you one more time until he hears the jangle of keys and the door opening. a sigh of relief leaves his mouth and as you're about to turn your keys to open the door, he's a step ahead of you, opening the door for you.
"oh my god, i thought you went missing," kenma hugs you, catching you by surprise. "where'd you go?"
hesitant to reply, you say, "oh just went on a walk, that's all."
"you should've told me, we could've gone together," he states. "i feel like we haven't seen each other in forever."
"it's fine. don't worry about it."
there's something wrong and he can sense it in your demeanor. as you're heading to the master bedroom, he can see the way your shoulders slump as you put your keys back. he doesn't address your distant behavior, thinking that you're just having a rough morning and it'll get better as the day goes on.
unfortunately, it doesn't get better.
you seem to be fine but you just feel incredibly distant.
kenma's been playing games in his room all day and unlike usual, you're not in his bedroom watching him play or sitting on the bed scrolling through your phone. his gaming experience isn't the same when you're not there.
he pauses his game and goes out to the living room to see you lying down on the couch, scrolling through videos on your phone. he wants to ask why you're not staying with him but he doesn't want to make overstep your boundaries, especially since it seems like you're not in a good mood.
but that's anything from what you want.
you want him to ask you to stay in his room and keep you company. but because he hasn't done so, his word "clingy" began to scream louder in your head and to be frank, that's the only thing roaming in your head.
"do you want to do anything today?" he asks. "you know.. because it's the weekend and we can go out if you want? like going out to eat?"
a part of you began to feel guilty considering he was thinking about what you wanted to do and you hated feeling like a burden towards him. he already expressed his disapproval with you when he said he found you clingy so you didn't want to impose any further.
"no it's okay," you reply, eyes glued to your phone. "i don't want to annoy you or anything.. so i'll just go on my own or something..."
he hums in response but his eyebrows furrow as he doesn't seem to move from his spot. he can tell there's something wrong and you're obviously being very dodgy with him about the subject which is why he decides to take a seat on the couch and snatch your phone from your hands before you can even register what's happened.
"hey give me back my phone!" you sit up, stretching yourself over to grab your phone back from him in a failed attempt.
"not until you tell me what's wrong," he says flat.
you sigh, knowing that this conversation isn't inevitable. you can't avoid him forever "you called me clingy yesterday, kenma. sorry that i don't really want to hang out with you right now."
the words that leave your mouth have kenma in a state of shock. you took that seriously? you really thought he meant that? in order to ease his busy day of meetings back to back, you came home baked him some apple pie to ease him from his stresses.
and what did he do in return? called you clingy when you just wanted to spend some well-deserved time with him. god, he was being so ungrateful. his body fills with guilt when he he realizes you took his comment to heart.
โ€œhoney, i-โ€ he starts and then is cut off with your words.
"i understand where you were coming from, i like to show my affection with you through physical touch and i know youโ€™ve never been one to really reciprocate that," you begin to ramble. "so iโ€™m really sorry for pushing your boundaries and iโ€™ll give you the space that you need."
guilt is eating him away and he needs to clear the air now, otherwise you might be closed off forever and heโ€™s not sure if heโ€™s ever going to be able to reconnect with you.
โ€œy/n, honey, don't apologize for this. itโ€™s not your fault at all,โ€ he starts. he puts down the phone onto the couch and grabs both of your hands and squeezes them assuringly. โ€œi'm sorry for pushing you away and calling you clingy. you didn't.. you never deserve to be told that."
his hand finds its way to your cheek and he begins to rub comforting slow circles. seeing the sullen look on your face made him realize that he never wants to see you like this ever again. it was like you had lost the light in your eyes. kenma hated how he had diminished that so quickly by making you think that he didn't like your company.
he loves you so much; he could never imagine what life would be like without your presence.
a small smile begins to creep back on to your face and kenma finds himself in a slight sense of relief.
"it's okay," you finally utter out. "do you wanna watch that new episode? apparently there is so much drama now and i'm avoiding socials so i don't get spoiled..."
he chuckles, "i'll do anything with you."
he knows that he can't take back his words from before but as he's sitting on the couch with you in his embrace, he knows he can show you his love through his actions. he'll do anything to bring back that trust to you.
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ยฉ tetsumie 2023 all rights reservedย 
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chimielie ยท 1 year
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girlfriend
summary: Iwaizumi x F!Reader. you might be his girlfriendโ€”but she's his girl.
word count: 2.4k
cw: hurt/comfort. a lot of reader insecurity. fear/mention of emotional cheating but there is none
a/n: this actually fills @akimind's request for my 500 follower event one million years ago but the formatting is tooo hard so. here it is!!! iwaizumi + angst + college au + "that's not what i said." LOVE YOU SORRY HOPE IT HURTS AND IS ALSO ENJOYABLE. <<<<3333333
You didn't mean to fall in love with your boyfriend.
You hadn't gone into this expecting Hajime to become your boyfriend at all, actually. You liked him. Liked how easy it was to be with him. How warm he was when you let your touch linger on him and pretended it was more than a flirty friendship. You hadn't ever predicted it would become so, because Hajime was hung up on his ex-girlfriend.
They'd traveled over oceans to be together, coming to Irvine from the same prefecture in Japan. They had still been together when you met him, her head tucked beneath his chin, his arms wrapped around her waist. Your first thought was "oh, he's beautiful." Your second thought was "they look like they're made for each other." You shoved the first thought deep inside a secret crevice of your brain and stuck out your hand to introduce yourself with a bright smile.
The strain of new adulthood got to them, though, or so you assumed: you were never privy to the gory details of the breakup. They remained friendly, in the same friend group, and it just always seemed obvious to you that they would someday reconcile. It wasn't until two years after their break that you were able to start showing regular, platonic affection to Hajime without feeling like an attempted homewrecker.
It was just before graduation, having dragged him away for a late-night bite to eat so neither of you would starve to death studying for finals, when everything flipped on its head. Your plan to energize the both of you had backfired; you were yawning every other sentence and came close to laying your head on the table before Hajime put his palm down in front of your face.
"Come sit next to me," he'd said, so you maneuvered around into his side of the booth and been promptly pulled into his side. You had looked up at him, murmuring a sleepy question that was more wordless noise than actual English, and that was it. Something you didn't understand softened his gaze, and then he tilted his head to the side and brushed his lips over yours.
It was a perfect first kiss.
In the weeks following it, you had bounced violently between insisting to yourself that he hadn't meant for you to read too far into the kiss and your natural instinct to go after what your heart wanted. And the more he proved that it wasn't a one-off anomaly, that he could kiss you right out of drought into a superbloom, the more you were convinced. Iwaizumi Hajime wouldn't knowingly break your heart.
When Hajime asked you to be official, wildflower bouquet in hand, the lights of the now-empty graduation pavilion shining down on the both of you, you said yes, your whole heart and none of your brain in the matter.
As you entered your apartment hand-in-hand with him, greeting all the friends who had gathered there to celebrate the end of undergraduate school, you remembered that the key modifier in "Iwaizumi Hajime wouldn't knowingly break your heart" was knowingly. He seemed happy enough announcing the development to everyone else, and then she had walked in, carrying a bottle of wine that almost slipped from her grasp when she saw your proximity. He had dropped your handโ€”just for a second, but it had happened, and then picked it back up like his sentence hadn't died in his mouth at the sight of her.
He'd always gotten a little defensive when people mentioned their relationship, his features shutting down into a blank, tight expression. Though they obviously weren't as close as they had been for most of their lives, they were still both part of your friend group, and he always seemed to laugh just a little harder at her jokes, kept eye contact a little longer, got embarrassed more easily around her. You didn't want to be jealous or insecure or possessive, but it just felt more increasingly obvious that you were a rebound, a cheap, temporary dupe meant to fill in until Hajime realized and returned to the love of his life.
It was hard to be angry at him, though, because you knew with every fiber of your bleeding heart that he wouldn't do this to you on purpose. You knew he thought he cared for you, that he thought he had moved on. He did a good job almost every day coming very close to persuading you of it, enough to keep you from breaking up with him and leaving him behind, but never quite erasing your insecurities for more than a few weeks at a time.
One of the first mornings you woke up in his bed, well rested and sore in all the right places, he was missing. You got up, mourning the softness of his sheets and the scent of him on the pillowcases, and slipped into one of his shirts before leaving his room to explore.
He was cooking, shirtless in the kitchen, and if that wasn't one of the yummiest things you had seen in your life.
"Good morning," you said, leaning against his counter.
"Very," he returned, flipping an egg in the pan. "Looking like that. I thinkโ€”I mean, it seems like that shirt always gets chosen to be the boyfriend shirt." He had narrowly avoided saying her name, but you had heard it threatening to tumble out of his mouth. You bit back a response, but your smile still dropped, and he spent the next hour making allusive, sorry overtures without either of you actually acknowledging the slip.
You never wore that shirt again. He gave you another one, you accepted it, and life moved on.
Except you had somehow become mired in the past with a relationship that was long over, and without university or a job to distract youโ€”you were starting at the end of September, which felt aeons awayโ€”it was eating you alive, especially as Hajime left for a preliminary return trip to Japan.
"Did you hear how Mattsun and Makki greeted him when he landed?" You sit in the car on the way to the airport, packed in with Hajime's ex, successfully hyping yourself up to see him again until she addressed the group.
"Oh, yeah," you laugh. "So funny." You haven't had a conversation with Hajime that had more depth than "how are u? miss u" for the trip's duration. She's your friend, too, though you've never been close, but there's something unbearable about admitting it to her now, when you're so unsure of your relationship's current status. It has to mean something that he was keeping her updated and active in his life, didn't it?
You find solace in knowing that you don't blame her at all. If you could find an ounce of resentment for her in your heart, you would probably have left Hajime by nowโ€”isn't that the mark of a truly evil plot-pushing girlfriend?
You cry when you see him again.
"Happy tears," you assure him, and hide your face in his shoulder.
Later, alone in his apartment, you bite your lip when Hajime asks if you want to sleep over.
"Okay, babe, I don't want to pressure you," he says, and you can feel yourself tensing up as he speaks. "But I feel like you've beenโ€”off all day. Is everything okay?"
You blanch and focus on the cowlick on the right side of his head, the one that's endeared him so much to you, so you don't have to look him in the eyes. Too much is bubbling up in your throat, your brain thrown into overdrive, and he's staring at you with so much worry in his eyes it's just not right to leave him hanging:
"No."
Hajime makes a noise you don't understand, low in his throat. "Is it because I didn't call enough while I was gone? Because I can explain that, I promise."
"No," you rush to explain. "I don'tโ€”it wasn't you, exactly. I've justโ€”ever since we started datingโ€”I think you still love her."
You're picking at your nails, a bad habit you've had since you were small, and he takes your hands in his, smooths his thumbs over the torn cuticles.
"I don't," he says, finally, neutrally, though his face hasn't formed into the cold mask you're used to seeing when she's brought up. "Ever since we started dating?"
"Before," you admit. "I always thought you would get back together. You just seemed so made for each other."
"But we weren't," a little pucker between his eyebrows forms. "Soโ€”what did you think when we started dating?"
"When you first kissed me," you say, "I thought maybe it was a one-off. That you wanted something casual. And then it got more serious, and I thought maybe I could just suppress my insecurities until they went away, and I mean, I really thought you liked me."
"I do," his voice grows more agitated, his lips thinning out.
"Yeah, but..." You trail off. "You would do things that made me think, oh, he's just the perfect guy, they just looked so amazing because I was jealous, and then every so often I'd see you interact with her and it wasn't like how we are at all. I know the insecurity is my own fault, that's not on you, but I feel like it's holding both of us back."
"What do you mean holding us back? You don't think you make me happy?" He snaps, and you wince.
"Not like you are with her! Every time she comes in the room you get this look on your face, like you're speechless. Like-like the songs, Haji, I just..."
He lets go of your hands, crosses his arms.
"Do you really think I'd do that to you?"
"No, Haji, I know you'd never cheat. That's why I fell in love with you! You're a good guy, but I don't want you to wake up one day and break both our hearts because she's meant to be your girl and I'm just your fucking girlfriend." Your eyes sting, your chest heaving by the end of the sentence.
"You love me?" He's quieter now, giving you a little more space to breathe.
"What? That's not what I said."
"Yes, it is," he says, a little smile growing at the corners of his mouth, as though he can't control it. "You love me."
"I'm sorry, I don't understand why you're focusing on that," you wipe at your eyes with the back of your hand. "It's true, I just don't get it."
"Because you make me happier than she ever did," he promises, crowding you up against the counter and motioning for you to jump up to sit on top of it after you can go no further. "I'm weird when she's around because she's my ex, sure, but not because I still want her. It... ended badly. It's a miracle we didn't pull the entire friend group into it, and I never wanted to make her look bad to them, so I'm always trying really hard to look, uh, normal around her. We're on better terms now, but I haven't wanted her in years, honey."
"She knew about what you were doing when I didn't," you mumble, feeling small in the stormy release of emotions. "And she knows so much about you I don't in general."
"We grew up together," Hajime reminds you. "It would have been one of the guys. I know I didn't tell her anything. You can check my call history, my texts."
You shake your head. "I believe you."
"Really?" He arches a brow, and you laugh and push gently at his shoulder.
"Yes, really."
"You know how long I had a crush on you before I did anything about it? I thought you weren't interested, and then you finally started being even more affectionate with me than you were with our other friends, and I took the chance."
"Rookie numbers," you preen under his gaze. "I liked you... pretty much as soon as I met you. But I suppressed it 'cause I didn't want to be a homewrecker."
"You're sweet," he chuckles. "I promise, you have nothing to worry about there. I'm never gonna wake up and not be grateful to see you drooling on my bed."
"You're the worst, you know that?"
"Yeah, yeah," he looks at you fondly, swiping his thumbs under your lower lashes. "You love me, though."
"Oh," your lips part. "And the not calling in Japan?"
He scrunches his nose. "I was trying not to spoil anything. I wanted to, uh, discuss it with you first, but you should know my friends and family are all waiting to embarrass me if I have to turn everything around now."
"Okay? I'll consider your dignity, but I make no promises," you tease. He drops his head to your shoulder for a moment, taking a deep breath, and you wind a hand into his hair, petting him until he straightens.
"So, you know how I have that paid internship opportunity back home?" You nod, not wanting to be reminded. You'll do it for him, but... long distance sucks. "I went to their office and turned it down. I want to go through with my doctorate."
"Oh, that's huge!" You gasp. "That's incredible, I'm so happy for you!"
"So the part that has to do with you is, um," he says, "you're planning to stay here, right?"
"Yeah," you say, "my next step is like a twenty minute commute, thankfully."
"I want to finish my schooling in the States," he tells you, "and then after that, I want to go wherever you go."
"Hajime," you start, but he puts a shaking hand on your knee, and that shuts you up.
"I love you," he says seriously. "It's like I said, okay? You make me happier than anyone else. I know you're the one for me, if you'll have me. If not, I getโ€”"
You grab his face and smash your lips into his, and if that doesn't get the message across? You don't know what will.
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Text
It's the strangest thing Kuroo's ever heard you say.
He's not sure he heard you right so he asks you to repeat yourself and you do, more derisively than last time.
"I woke up happy by accident."
Kuroo frowns. "How does someone wake up happy by accident?"
"Seriously, Tetsu?" You scoff, eyes narrowing at him though you're just on the phone. "Because I had an amazing dream but then I woke up alone. Again."
"Kitten-"
"No," you snap. "Don't kitten me. There's no amount of affection you can slather on to make up for the amount of time you've been gone."
Kuroo makes a frustrated sound. "You know how important this-"
"This special match" -your voice curls venomously- "is. Yes, Tetsurล, I'm aware. But are you aware of how many times you were here to have dinner with me before you left to go gallivanting across the globe? Because I can tell you exactly how many times! THREE."
"But that's-"
"OVER A SIX WEEK PERIOD KUROO!" You're shouting now, clutching the phone so hard your arm is trembling and there's a silence from Kuroo; you're not sure if it's because you used his last name or the point has finally hit him.
You're near tears.
"HOW LONG, KUROO. HOW LONG WILL IT BE LIKE THIS!?" Your eyes angrily rove the apartment that's been quiet for too long. Too absent of Kuroo's signature laugh and cheeky spirit. "You leave for work before I wake up. You barely get home in time to say goodnight. You keep saying it's just for the special match but it's already been like this...H-How..." you sniffle, failing to hold back the tears, "how long is it going to be like this?"
"I'm doing this for us!"
"Bullshit," you retort, crying. "You can tell me you're doing this for us all you want but you're not fooling me. You're doing this for yourself."
Kuroo doesn't respond.
"You promised me a good life, Tetsurล..." Your heart's heavier than it's ever been before, face crumpling with sadness as you cry. "But a good life is one with you in it."
You look down at the ring on your finger, white gold shining in the lamplight.
"I don't want to forget what it's like to be with you, Tetsu..." You swallow thickly. "And I'm afraid I will."
Kuroo stays silent but a car honks in the background, someone shouts in Spanish.
"I need to go to bed. Good night Tetsurล," you say and hang up before he has a chance to respond.
~
"Seriously Kenma...Wouldn't you be more comfortable at home?" You side-eye the gamer next to you on the couch. "You know, with all of your streaming gear? Your comfortable gaming chair? And your webcam?"
The blonde shrugs and replies in his soft voice. "It's okay to mix it up a bit. People watch for the gameplay anyway."
Your eyes narrow but before you can reply there's a jangle of keys and a moment later the door's hastily thrown open, your husband nearly falling into the apartment.
His hair's even more of a mess than it usually is. The bags under his eyes rival the battered backpack he throws down and his eyes are more bloodshot than Kenma's
but he's here.
Your heart leaps into your throat and you forget to breathe for a moment as he unceremoniously yanks off his dress shoes without tying them.
"Tetsu? What are you doing here? I thought you were going to be gone for another week?"
He doesn't answer you. Nearly tripping over himself he clumsily lopes across the apartment and throws his arms around your shoulders, falling to his knees in front of you.
His words come out muffled, buried against your neck but you still hear them.
"I'm sorry."
Your eyes widen in shock, arms hanging limply at your sides.
He clutches you tighter. "I'm so sorry...For everything. You were right. About it all. And I'm sorry. You're more important to me than anything--everything--else."
Your heart squeezes in your chest as you realize that you've only texted each other since that fight a few days ago.
And even though you know he'll probably have to head out in a few days to finish his recruiting for the special all-stars match, you love him too much to deny yourself the serenity of being together again.
You hug him back.
As soon as your arms wrap around him he starts to cry.
He reeks of sweat and travel.
His suit feels like it's been slept in.
But he's the only person you want to hug right now.
"I love you, Tetsu," you murmur all too aware of the person next to you on the couch.
"I love you, too," he tearily mumbles back and clings to you like a life raft.
After a long, much-needed embrace you encourage him to go shower and mentally run through a list of take-out places still open right now.
"Kenma, I'm gonna order--Are you going somewhere?" You frown in confusion, turning to the gamer after Kuroo leaves the room.
"Yeah. Home." Kenma tries to hide his satisfied little smirk behind his hair as he packs up his laptop.
Pursing your lips, you give him a flat look. "You're not even going to try to disguise it?"
He smiles as he slings his bag over his shoulder. "You already knew Kuroo asked me to come keep you company." He cocks an eyebrow. "Didn't you?"
After a minute you smile wryly. "Yeah. I did."
Kenma glances at the bathroom; the shower's already running.
"What?" you prompt.
Kenma adjusts the strap of his bag. "Thanks."
You tilt your head, brow furrowing. "For what?"
"For wanting him around. For loving him and fighting for it..." Kenma shrugs. "He deserves it." In a mumble he adds "he deserves a good ass-kicking, too, every once in a while."
Your smile doesn't touch your eyes. "Sometimes we all do."
"I guess..." Kenma pauses on his way to the genkan, shyly meeting your eye. "But he deserves to be happy. And you...You make him happy. He's crazy about you and he's willing to fight for you so...thanks. For not giving up on him."
You're too full of feelings to reply with anything more than a teary nod.
Kenma quietly steps into his shoes, softly calling your name as he reaches for the door and meets your eye one more time.
"You deserve to be happy, too."
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