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#haikyuu funny
tetszume · 20 hours ago
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haikyuu boys as things my guy bestfriends did pt. 1
★genre/warnings: crack,humor,just some shenaniganaries my friends did *sigh* how i miss them
⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。 ⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。 ⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。 ⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。 ⋆。˚
※ wore stilleto heels while playing soccer,because you "dared him to".
atsumu,HOSHIUMI,tanaka,kageyama,lev,goshiki(tendo- "pose for me goshiki-kun" *snap snap* goshiki- "i'll get you for this y/n")
※ paraded in the entire school wearing the girls uniform with a BRA underneath.
BOKUTO,tendo,GAO,yamamoto,akagi(the twins forced him to),nishinoya("i'm slaying this uniform better than the ladies-")
※ asked the teacher if he could go to the restroom for a bit and came back with 10 types of snacks in his hands and a mochi in his mouth, he even gave the speechless teacher a pack of their favorite chips and fearlessly strolled through the classroom,like it was a freacking runway.
OSAMU FREAKING MIYA,kageyama,kenma,SEMI, konoha,ennoshita("sir i heard your stomach grumbling so i bought you a snack")
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ozetia · 3 months ago
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ʜᴀɪᴋʏᴜᴜ ʙᴏʏꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴍʙᴀʀʀᴀꜱꜱɪɴɢ ꜱᴇx ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ
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ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴏʏꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀ ᴠɪʀɢɪɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ɴᴇᴡ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴇʀᴍ ‘ᴘᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴇʀʀʏ’ ᴡʜɪʟꜱᴛ ʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴛʜʀᴜꜱᴛɪɴɢ ɪɴᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ, ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴏᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴀ ᴘᴏᴘ. ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏɴꜰᴜꜱɪᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀꜱᴋ ʜɪᴍ ‘ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ ʜᴇ ꜱᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ ꜰᴀᴄᴇᴅ ʟᴏᴏᴋꜱ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ, ‘ʀᴇʟᴀx ɪᴛ’ꜱ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴍʏ ᴄʜᴇʀʀʏ ʙᴀʙʏ’ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀᴛʜᴇʟᴇꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴜʀꜱᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ʟᴀᴜɢʜɪɴɢ. ʜᴇ ᴘᴜʟʟꜱ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʜᴇ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴅᴏᴍ.
ʟᴇᴠ, ɴɪꜱʜɪɴᴏʏᴀ, ɢᴏꜱʜɪᴋɪ, ᴋᴏɢᴀɴᴇɢᴀᴡᴀ, ʏᴀᴍᴀᴍᴏᴛᴏ
ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴏʏꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀɴ ɪᴄᴇ ᴄᴜʙᴇ, ᴀꜱ ʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɪᴄᴇ ᴄᴜʙᴇ ꜱᴜᴅᴅᴇɴʟʏ ꜱʟɪᴘᴘᴇᴅ ɪɴ, ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀɴʏ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴏᴜꜱ ᴍᴀɴ ʜᴇ ᴛʀɪᴇᴅ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ɪᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ʙʏ ꜱᴡɪᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʜɪꜱ ꜰɪɴɢᴇʀꜱ ʙᴜᴛ ɪɴꜱᴛᴇᴀᴅ ʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ᴘᴜꜱʜɪɴɢ ɪᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ꜰᴀʀᴛʜᴇʀ. ᴛʜᴇ ɪᴄᴇ ᴄᴜʙᴇ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ᴀ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇʟᴛ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀᴛʜᴇʟᴇꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴇʟᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴀɢᴀɪɴꜱᴛ ʜɪᴍ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ.
ᴀᴋᴀᴀꜱʜɪ, ᴋᴀɢᴇʏᴀᴍᴀ, ᴏɪᴋᴀᴡᴀ,
ʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀᴅᴅɪɴɢ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ꜱᴘɪᴄᴇ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪx ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴘᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀꜱꜱ ʙᴜᴛ ɪɴꜱᴛᴇᴀᴅ ʜᴇ ᴍɪꜱꜱᴇᴅ, ʜɪꜱ ʜᴀɴᴅ ʙᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀ ꜰɪꜱᴛ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪꜱᴛᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴜɴᴄʜᴇᴅ ʜɪᴍꜱᴇʟꜰ ꜱQᴜᴀʀᴇ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀʟʟꜱ.
ᴋᴜʀᴏᴏ, ᴛᴇɴᴅᴏ, ɪᴡᴀɪᴢᴜᴍɪ, ʏᴀᴋᴜ
ʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪɴɪꜱʜ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛɪᴛꜱ ʙᴜᴛ ɪɴꜱᴛᴇᴀᴅ ʜᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ ᴇxᴄɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴏꜰ ʜɪꜱ ᴄᴜᴍ ꜱʜᴏᴛ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇʏᴇ
ʜɪɴᴀᴛᴀ, ɪɴᴜᴏᴋᴀ, ᴛᴇʀᴜꜱʜɪᴍᴀ
ʜᴇ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪɢʜᴛᴇꜱᴛ ᴘᴜꜱꜱʏ ʜᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴇʟᴛ. ʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀꜱꜱ.
ʙᴏᴋᴜᴛᴏ, ᴀᴏɴᴇ, ᴛᴀɴᴀᴋᴀ
ʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ ɪᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʜɪᴍ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ ʜɪꜱ ꜰᴀᴄᴇ ᴀꜱ ʜᴇ ᴄᴜᴍ. ʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴄʜᴇᴅ ʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇʟᴅ ʜɪꜱ ᴅʀɪᴠᴇʀ’ꜱ ʟɪᴄᴇɴꜱᴇ ɪɴ ꜰʀᴏɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ
ᴛꜱᴜᴋɪꜱʜɪᴍᴀ, ꜰᴜᴋᴜɴᴀɢᴀ, ᴍᴀᴛꜱᴜᴋᴀᴡᴀ,
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fandomincorrectquotess · 2 months ago
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Akaashi: Dammit, Bokuto!
Bokuto: What?! It wasn’t me!
Akaashi: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Kuroo!
Kuroo: Not me either.
Akaashi: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Kenma: *whistles*
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screamin-abt-haikyuu · a month ago
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I like to headcanon that this one time, on a particularly cold winter night, the Karasuno boys (2nd and 3rd years, specifically) discovered how huggable and warm Asahi is so they all just piled on to him and now that is how they always sleep on cold nights.
Noya was the first to notice that Asahi was walking around in a normal t-shirt while everyone else was shivering in their scarves and sweaters.
As soon as Asahi settled into his futon, Noya launched himself on top of him (rest in peace, Asahi's internal organs🧎‍♂️) and discovered that he was the human version of a radiator.
"Hey, guys!!! Look how warm Asahi is!!! Join us!"
Tanaka and Sugawara did not waste a second and joined them instantly.
Daichi, however, refused to join.
"Are you worried that your scary captain image will be tarnished?"
But when he saw how happy and cozy everyone looked all huddled together, he slowly inched closer until he was a part of the group.
"Hah! You're just as much of a softie as everyone else," Suga teased.
Daichi just "hmph"d in response.
He would rather eat an entire brick than admit it but he would 100/10 do it again (and he did).
Asahi, on the other hand, absolutely loves this arrangement. He was made for this. He loves to hug and be hugged.
On snowy days, he will wear extra soft and warm clothes so that everyone feels comfy while hugging him.🥺
Please enjoy this noob edit of the first night for better visualization:
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I also decided to use this opportunity to add myself (or you if you'd like to imagine yourself there instead) to the scene. Behold my artistic prowess:
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I hope you liked it!! I just thought this hc was so sweet and I had so much fun editing the entire scene. They're all so cute and wholesome, I can totally see this happening. Also the edit with reader/myself in it has had me laughing since last night lmfao.
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Reblogs are appreciated. Please do not steal or repost. <3
@thepuckishrogue I have a feeling you will enjoy this headcanon and edit.
MASTERLIST | If you want to, you can Buy me a Kofi! <3
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xxpurpleram3n · 5 months ago
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Okay but imagine this.
Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Kageyama: Shit.
Tsukishima: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Yamaguchi: OH MY GOD HINATA FELL OFF!!!
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hallelujahmeatgod · 2 months ago
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WHEN YOU PUT YOUR HAND IN THEIR BACK POCKET
HAIKYUU CAPTAINS EDITION
+warning/s: cursing, oikawa and yuuji kinda being dirty little shits
+word count: 965
TETSURŌ KUROO
Wouldn't really be fazed.
Asshole would smirk real big.
Loves it.
Flexes his ass just cause.
Would hold your hand through his pocket so you wouldn't pull it away.
"You wish you could have an ass like this" He smirks, keeping your hand in place in his pocket as he continues looking around the store.
"Pfft, we both know I have a better ass"
He looks at you with a look of amusement. He then extends his arm behind you and puts his own hand in your back pocket.
He squeezes lightly which makes you jump a little. "I mean... you're kinda right" He muses, making you hide your face a bit as it heats up.
Y'all ended up having a hand shove in each other's pockets.
DAICHI SAWAMURA
Would go 😳
Cause why?
Would try wiggling away from you, but you just shove your hand even deeper into his pocket.
bb would be kinda shy. like can u not? hng
"Y-Y/n, we're in public." He said quietly. Making sure to keep his voice in a whisper to not catch attention.
"No shit. So what?" You grinned at him.
He gives you a pleading kind of look while he slowly turns into a tomato.
"Are you shyyyyy?" You teased. When he gave you a glare you just squeezed his ass making him jump.
"Stop it!" He whisper-yelled, but his eyes are still pleading as he forces your hand out of his pocket. "Act right, missy" he said like a parent.
"Pfft, party pooper." You sulked, as he dragged you around the mall prohibiting your hand from making any contact with his ass.
KŌTARŌ BOKUTO
He'd look back at you and give you the warmest smile ever.
Wouldn't mind it at all since you do be always kneading his dough.
He's used to it by now cause there's not a day wherein touching his ass isn't in your agenda.
"What's up baby?" He asked, thinking you need something.
"Damn you got some serious cake, Bo" You exclaimed, winking at him making him a giggling mess.
He burst into laughter, pulling your free hand and yanking you to him. He wrapped your arm around him, making you put your other hand in his other pocket.
"Meghan Thee Stallion could never" He muses, bumping his nose with yours making you laugh as he hugs you.
"No ass compares to yours"
"Damn right!" He giggled.
TŌRU OIKAWA
😗
That's the face he'd give you
Gives you teasing looks
Another one who'd love it
Wiggles his non-existent ass
Asshole would fake moan
"Yo stop" You whispered, trying to pull your hand away but he wouldn't let you.
"Grab it harder" He'd fake pant, biting his lip, making you wanna smack his stupid face.
"Can you stop? Oh my gosh, have some shame we're in public, idiot!" You scolded, still pulling your hand but this time he lets you as he laughs at you.
"Says the girl who buried her hand in my pocket" He jokingly sassed, pulling you close to him putting his hand in your pocket instead. "This is how you do it, pretty" he said, before squeezing your ass earning him a solid smack on the head.
"I mean...how am I even going to do that when there's literally nothing there?" You gave him this look 😳
"You little piece of shit--"
WAKATOSHI USHIJIMA
No reaction whatsoever.
Would look back at you for a little bit, giving a look like he's just done with you but would go back to what he's doing.
Would kinda get weirded out about it.
Like what's up? Do you need anything?
"Can I ask why your hand is buried deep within the depths of my back pocket?" Ushijima asks, not even looking at you as he continues looking at some vball stuff in the store.
"I just like having my hand here cause it's warm, don't mind me" You give him a smile.
He looks at you, trying to read your face to see whether you're up to no good or you're good today. But he just eventually nods and goes back to what he's doing.
"You know I can just hold your hand if it's cold."
"No. Just pretend I'm not here, I'm just an imagination, Ushi."
"That's kinda hard when your whole hand is literally in my pocket squeezing my ass y'know?" He deadpanned, making you chuckle.
SHINSUKE KITA
Another one who wouldn't give much reaction.
He'd be a little surprised at first, sure.
Would blush for like .5 seconds
But would immediately get over it.
He'd just shake his head at you.
"You really just can't keep your hands to yourself huh?" He teased lightly.
"You know I don't have 'personal space' in my vocabulary" You pouted, making him chuckle and pat your head.
"Yup, that I know really well"
"You love it though" You teased, poking his side with your free hand.
He swats your hand away as he laughs.
"Hmmmm maybe?"
YŪJI TERUSHIMA
LOVES IT PERIOD
This guy is all about it!
He does it to you often, so you doing it this time around made him so happy.
Almost jumped at you when you did it.
"AHHHHHH~ do this more often" He turned to you, looking at you with doe eyes.
"I think you're loving it a little too much bud" You said, pushing his face away from you.
"Duh" He rolled his eyes at you.
"Okay sassy ass. Drop it or I'll pull that tongue piercing of yours" You threatened.
Dumbass gave you a smirk in return. "Pull it with what? Your mouth? Well then, if that's the case, by all means please do it. I'm all yours ma'am!"
"I hope you get hit by a volleyball in the face tomorrow, dummy"
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kvgluhvs · 3 months ago
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nishinoya : so any news doctor ?
doctor : yeah, we are waiting for your x-ray
nishinoya : i don't think i have dated anyone named ray.
doctor *to the nurse* : prep him for an MRI as well.
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1-800-haikyuu · 25 days ago
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Hinata: Hey Yamaguchi what’s your type?
Yamaguchi: Well Yachi’s hair is nice, and Kiyoko’s glasses are attractive, so a mix of that!
Tsukishima: 
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linnylinz · 5 months ago
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I mean if he got Akaashi and Tsukishima’s name wrong at first I can only assume…
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fandomincorrectquotess · 3 months ago
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Oikawa: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Iwaizumi: Nope, absolutely not.
Makki: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Mattsun: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
Makki: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
Iwaizumi: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.
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