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Imagine you otp

Person A : oh my god

Person A : yes!

Person A : *moans* right there! Right there! Holy fuck

Person A : don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop

Person A : you’re so fucking good!

Person A : this is the best thing that ever happened to me

Person A : *groans* yeees *whimpers*

Person B :

Person B, barely containing himself also sporting a raging hard on at this point : oh my god I’m giving a light back massage not fucking you senseless. Get a hold on yourself!

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Imagine your otp

[mid hanging out]

Person A : you think i should get a clean shave?

Person B : no. Your facial hair is on point as it is

Person A : but do you think the chicks dig it?

Person B : i say it’s attractive. And if i like it i know the chicks dig it

Person A : you really see things in me that i can’t see by myself don’t you.

Person B, looking at A longingly : i call em like i see em. *blinks* and trust me when i say you’ve got a good thing going on there. Do not mess it up or i will maim you

Person A : *snorts* ok ok chill

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Hal: Wally, me and Barry are your new parents.


Wally:


Barry: see he didn’t-


Wally: OMG I GOT TWO SUPER DADS!!


Barry: *has wtf face*


Hal: and a brother, kyle is your brother.


Wally: I HAVE A BROTHER!?


Barry: WE HAVE ANOTHER SON!?


Hal: I got them on sale *shrugs*


Barry: what the-


Oliver: I warned you before marrying him, nobody listens to Oliver he’s just an old fool with glorious facial hair.


Bruce: more like fugly facial hair.

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Hal: so,,, can I adopt Wally?


Barry, looking at his husband: I don’t-


Hal: you’re right, I need Bruce’s help.


Barry: wha-


Bruce: if they are neglecting him you can legally adopt him, it’s how I got Tim.


Hal: thanks Bruce!


Barry: what? NO!


Then Wally was adopted.

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Literally DC drives me crazy when it comes to Hal Jordan


*Me sees a new justice league movie coming out* OMG I CANT WAIT! Is Hal gonna be in it?

DC: He was supposed to… but we cut it out.

Me: 😐 I mean the movie wasn’t that good to be fair so it’s fine.


*Me gets excited for the flash tv show and hopes Hal shows up at some point*

CW: Nope he can be friends with Oliver Queen

Me: You got the wrong green hero Barry doesnt like Oliver- eh whatever i’ll survive.


Me: Hal deserves another movie, he got one bad one and that’s it?

DC: No. We WILL make another Batman movie though.

Me: I do love Batman but… he already had a trilogy and just had a movie with the JL

DC: So?


Me: Oh A Green Lantern videogame with Hal would be a cool video game!

DC: Uh no but we’re making a Suicide Squad video game and a Gotham Knights movie.

Me: OH I FUCKING LOVE THIS!!! wait… is Hal gonna be the Green Lantern?

DC: We’ll think about it.

Me: DUDE well Green Lantern be in it at all?

DC: Maybe.

Me: FINALLY

DC under their breathe: He might be killed by the suicide-

Me: HE BETTER FUCKING NOT


Me: There should be a buddy cop movie with Hal and Barry :D

My Friend: How? Both of them don’t even have a good movie? It should be Batman/Superman!

Me: We just HAD a movie with Bruce and Clark

My Friend: So? Bats and Supes are way more well known and liked

Me: Oh I wonder why

My Friend: Because they are good characters-

Me: 🤜👱🏼‍♀️ (Hal and Barry are too FIGHT ME)


Me: I cant wait to see Hal in the next GL movie!

John Fans: Uh no John Stewart should be in it, he’s more interesting.

Kyle Fans: Uh no a buddy cop movie with Wally and Kyle would be great!

Me: … can i please have a green lantern movie or tv show with Hal in it? IM BEGGING YOU DC

DC: We’ll give you a green lantern tv show with Alan Scott (who would give representation to the lgbtq+ community) and…

Me: YES OMG THATS great who else?

DC: Guy Gardner

Me: *crickets*

DC: Jessica Cruz

Me: Oh… um… cool

DC: And…

Me: HAL JORDAN-

DC: Simon

Me: Are you… Are you serious? This is a joke right? IS HAL GONNA BE IN IT A LITTLE BIT AT LEAST?

DC: Nope! 😄 Maybe John-

Me: 🤜 DC

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Things that would drive my OTP’s CRAZY

Superbat- Bruce stealing his glasses and putting it on.

Halbarry- Barry licking sauce off his fingers

Halbarry- Hal wearing the orange ring and being possessive over Barry

Superbat- Clark using his super strength over Bruce 😏

Jayroy- Jason wiping blood from his lip

Jayroy- Roy coming out the shower with this hair wet.

Birdflash- Dick showing off his flexibility

Birdflash- Wally vibrating while kissing Dick. (that sounds so wrong i’m SORRY)

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Here is my headcanons when it comes to the physical appearance!

-Barry has heterochromia eyes (two different colored eyes) one is ocean blue while the other looks teal.

-Hal has dimples and freckles.

-Hal has hazel brown eyes

-Jason has a few beautiful scars on his face from the Joker. He learned to admire it.

-Bruce is not as tall as everyone makes him out to be. He’s 5’8. Idk why but Batman being short as hell and kicking your ass is POWERFUL.

-Jason dyes little strands of his hair red

-Hal has curly hair

-Ted Kord has stretch marks on his stomach from his constant gaining and losing of weight. (stretch marks is beautiful and I have it!)

I cant think of any more but here ya are! 😄

-Jason has a tattoo of a arrow

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I JUST HAD A DREAM THAT

Hal, Jason, Dick, Tim, Bruce, Clark, Dinah, Diana, Oliver, Wally, Bart, Barry, Barbara, Steph, Cassie, and Conner were all in one room and (most of them) were singing wap. Definitely not Bruce though.

And when the song went off Bruce said “There’s some whores in this house” and everyone got hype

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Let’s be real here:

People who ship Batlantern it’s because you’re a hoe for enemies to lovers. (respectable, enemies to lovers is one of the best tropes if not the best in fiction)


If you ship Halbarry, Bluepulse, or Birdflash (or all of them) it’s because you’re a hoe for best friends to lovers


If you ship Superbat, it’s because you loveeeeeeeee opposites attract trope.


If you ship Jayroy it’s because you love the “We’re broken but we’re broken together” trope.


If you ship Harlivy, it’s because you LOVE the “we were villains but i’m gonna be a hero so we can have a happy life”

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OKAY IMAGINE THE JUSTICE LEAGUE BUT VILLAINS

I know what you’re gonna say. Here me out first

I mean like one where BARRY ALLEN is evil. HAL JORDAN is evil. CLARK KENT is evil. Usually it’s a alternate version of them and no, I want it to be the same backstory but twisted

For example, for Barry Allen maybe his father DID kill his mother. And maybe for the longest, Barry thought his father was innocent and he was doing time for something he DID NOT do. Then nobody offered to take him in so Barry was put in a very toxic household. For years he hated the police for taking his father away from him right after he lost his mother. Then he gets his powers after a force storm? Or maybe he gets arrested by the CCPD and almost gets falsely accused.

Bruce Wayne? Maybe after the death of his parents, he is put in Arkham Asylum because he goes a little crazy. He makes himself a whole new reality (that’s basically a reality where his parents never died and he lives a happy life) until he wakes up from this reality and it breaks him.

Same thing that happens with Hal. His entire city is destroyed by Sinestro, including all his loved ones. And his fear start to control him. However he does kill Sinestro and make himself leader of the yellow lanterns

IMAGINE THE REDEMPTION ARCS?

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My DC Headcanons

•Hal lowkey bullies Clark (Not like actually i mean more like unrelentlessly teasing) so Clark just glared at Hal whenever he sees him. Basically, Clark and Hal don’t like each other.

•Barry and Hal are the two people who are always late and when they come to justice league meetings they bring pizza and snacks. Even Bruce takes a slice.

•When Bruce sees Jason, the first thing he does is hugs him tightly. Because I said so.

•Jason and Damian are closer brothers then Jason and Tim and Dick and Damian. They just have so much in common and Jason gives Damian advice on how to deal with Bruce and his anger.

•Gotham ships Batman with Catwoman and Metropolis ships Batman with Lois. After a tweet Jason made that Bats and Supes were together it became a all out Ship war.

•Batman and Superman hugging hit the newspaper article first page.

•Bruce steals Clark’s glasses while he’s in his Bruce Wayne persona. Clark has to chase Bruce around to get them back and when he gets too close Bruce then realizes.

•Hal and Bruce relationship develops to the point where they are pratically a little brother big brother relationship. Hal and Bruce piss each other off but would fight anyone who would hurt the other

•Barry Allen is the justice league baby. You hurt him? And i’m gonna pray for you.

•Hal takes pictures while he’s in space like a tourist.

•The Joker (Arthur Fleck) refuses to attack Bruce because way before he became Joker he thought Bruce was his little brother and all he wanted him to do was laugh. He still has those past feelings and don’t want to truly hurt Bruce.

•Jason is insecure about his scars from the Joker and Roy is like “What? Dude this shit is so cool you are literally a badass I love you so much I-“

•The Justice League watches movies together after defeating a big bad villain. Kinda like a sleepover

•Diana stole Jason at some point and very hesitantly gave him back.

•Bruce raises his eyebrow a lot under the mask but nobody could see it.

•Hal has his dad’s journal and LIVES by the words.

•One time Clark saw Bruce sleep. He couldn’t take him seriously because of how cute he was, until Bruce royally kicked his ass

•Bruce aint the prince of gotham hes the KING of gotham.

•During a JL meeting, Bruce is so tired he passes out mid speech. Hal laughs and Barry elbows him the stomach. Diana drapes a blanket over his shoulder and continues with his speech.

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Dick, laying dramatically on the couch: live is meaningless, nobody cares, and Bruce Wayne got a butt implant.


Tim: I told you not to read my cursed files.


Jason: what the absolute fuck do you have on this family!?


Dick: things that make you question this whole world and the fact Bruce has a detailed list about every single member of the justice league and rate how cute they are. I never needed to know how cute Clark ass is in his supersuit. My eyes felt so violated.


Barbara: I think Diana’s was in great taste though, mostly about how soft her skin was.


Dick: a quote- “what type of moisturizer does she use!?”


Damian: don’t leave out the part of him finding Allen’s rambling “the most adorable thing I’ve seen him done, Iris is so lucky.”


Jason: I want to see this.


Tim: okay, here you go. *Hands laptop* look at Oillie.


Jason: *reading* oh my god, “he was so handsome with that jawline that was made for sit on but fucked it up growing that ugly ass gotee”(idk how to spell it, english sucks.) I’m speechless.


Tim: i know right? But he loves Auther’s beard.


Cass: I have felt great pain reading it.


Jason: “that beard is such a turn on if he just shut up I could enjoy it more” damn B is thirsty as fuck.


Steph: tell us about it.


Duke: I could never erase the lines Hal got.


Jason: “Hal’s ass though could be a contender for a soft marble statute, voice as deep and rough like a phone sex line employees, and the way his suit fits is all ruined by his pranks and his clear love for Barry” I- we should post these.


Dick: NO- if Wally or Roy read those they would shut down.


Damian: Jon, Dawn, don, and billy would never want to be friends with me.


Tim: Bart and Kon would give two shits about it but Iris and Lois don’t deserve that.


Jason: okay, but what will we do with this gold mine? “Clark’s civilian clothes are just begging to be ripped off and by Lois hints he’s well hung” should be on a tee-shirt.


Steph: I would wear it.


Cass: ruin him from the inside out.


Barbara: pun intended.


Everyone: BARBS *laughing*


Dick: ah, okay let’s make a deal for this later. We still haven’t reached the end of file one.


Jason: file one!? How many?


Tim: 20. Last three were eye witness accounts of said tea, Al now’s his tea well.


Jason: bless that man.

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