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chelleztjs18 · 2 years

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Half Love (Ch.6) - Shoot Your Shot

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader ; Katie McGrath x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n's relationship with Lizzie has been in a rough situation and goes downhill. What should Y/n do when there's no choice left to say and a new future opens up with someone new in it?

Warning: This is a collaboration book with my co-writer / friend @stonemags and it’s an 18+ series. Angst, angst, fluff, smut, and swearing words. I do not own any pictures, GIFs, name, brand, song titles and anything I use in this story.

A/n: Hello! I'm back from Covid's torture! Lol! Since I haven't update for a while, here is one from what I have ready in draft. More angst in the way. :D Happy reading!

Series Masterlist

It's been a few days since the rollercoaster of emotion day Lizzie had with you. She can’t stop thinking about everything that happened. She is flustered and hurt at the same time when she remembers how both of you shared a cake together yet end up with an argument with you, a painful one. It frustrates her that she didn’t even get a chance to ask for your number. It was a torture for her that she couldn’t contact you after you left. The fact that you didn’t even bother to contact her at all even though you have her number after that day, it crushes her even more.

The busy week has started. It’s full of meetings, table readings and decision making for the filming plans in the last few days. You and Lizzie were exchanging polite hellos and how are you every now and then, but not an actual conversation. You try not to have any conversation with her.

Just like Lizzie, you were too caught up in the chaos of your feelings. Your brain is flooded with questions. Are you still mad at her? Can you forgive her? And the scariest question you had in mind’s do you still love her? You can’t believe that you even ask yourself that question. You know that this question is not even supposed to exist in your mind. It's been a year and a half since the break up and all of these questions have been screaming in your head since the moment you saw her on the first meeting. You have no clue on how to act. Love makes you want to be close and nice to lizzie. All those sweet memories that you both had flashing across your mind’s eye, making you yearn for a hug or even a simple touch from her. But the pain orders you to keep your distance, dragging you further from her. Ironic, really. You keep your distance to protect yourself from more pain but it’s all you feel, yes, pain. It still hurts as much as before. Your heart and brain are constantly fighting with each other. For now you don't want to yell anymore nor dig more into old wounds that apparently haven't healed yet. Keeping her distance and focusing on work and other coworkers seems like the best idea.

Lizzie, on the other hand, wants to give you space that you might need. She still feels guilty. Seeing your face everyday is a blessing yet at the same time, it’s a constant reminder how badly she fucked things up. Her racing thoughts make her feel the sensation of sinking in a pit. She doesn’t know if she will ever be able to take it back. Or at least make it better. The heavy feeling in her chest goes away only in moments when she hears you laugh or see your smile or so excited like you get when you try new things or talk about things you love. This small moment gives her hope but once there is a silence again the heavy feeling comes back crushing her heart and her chest. The butterflies that were there instantly changed to small painful sharp pain in her heart.

As she is waiting for everybody to arrive at the set, her gaze is on a mission to find your presence. The director mentioned some surprises yesterday and asked everybody to arrive an hour earlier today. Not remembering how it actually happened, she ended up getting you and herself coffee from your favorite place. She didn't remember the order but the barista knew it and helped her get the right one. So she waits for you to get through the front door to hand you the coffee. A simple gesture that hopefully will make the gap in the wall between you two smaller. She is nervous and it's hard to be in control of any emotions right now.

A few minutes before the meeting time you arrive at the set. You look good and she can't take her eyes off of you. But she knows you like the back of her own hand and one look in your eyes tells her that you weren’t getting enough sleep for the past couple of days. Despite the time apart she still knows you in some way. You were hers for over 3 years and sometimes one look in the eyes is enough to know everything that's happening behind them. As much as she likes to look at you but it hurts her to know what state you are in now. The urge she has to give you a long warm hug that she knows you need, it tortures her. She remembers you love her hugs, especially when you are tired. Disappointment sagged through her because she knows there is nothing she can do right now to make you feel better.

Lizzie wants to stand up and give you the coffee but she doesn't move when she sees Katie follow behind you. Her brain shutting down, unable to think. Katie greets her with a smile while you are busy with your phone. Lizzie patches a forced awkward smile to the dark haired woman. Katie didn’t notice the coffee in Lizzie’s hands as someone tried to talk with her. Ignoring her uncertainty, Lizzie decides to give you the coffee.

She stands up and comes closer to you. Her steps were hesitant. " H-hey y/n." She greets you softly. Her heart skips a bit when you finally lay your eyes on her. "Oh hey lizzie. How are you?" You answer as if nothing happened between you two. She swallows hard shortly before she replies to you "I'm good, thank you. I-i got you coffee, I thought you might need it." She hands you the coffee, anxiously waiting on how you would react to it. It took her by surprise that you answered her jokingly "Do I look that bad? Ouch, that hurts, Elizabeth." followed by your smile.

Just like that, the butterflies came back so easily and she acted nervously. "No no of course not it's just that we meet an hour earlier and none of us know what we will be doing and I know that you go to bed late and I just thought that it will be nice if I just get you coffee and this lady at the coffee place you took me helped me with your order and…" She can’t control her words while answering you and tug her hair behind her ear at the same time. You can see her hands move all over the place as her rows of answers escaped her mouth.

"Liz.. Liz….Lizzie stop you are rambling. I was just kidding. Thank you, it's really thoughtful." You lay your right hand to her left shoulder as you bring her back from her rambling state. Her breath hitches softly from the touch, her heart thumping loudly that she swears she can hear it. "Sorry. Sorry.'' The only words that come out in whispers as her cheeks slowly turn crimson in embarrassment about her outburst. Eye contact is locked between you two for a few seconds until a familiar accent makes its way to be heard.

Katie comes in the picture next to you. "Y/n, darling, shall we get some coff– oh you got coffee, already?” Her question falters as soon as she sees a cup of coffee in your hand then she looks at you and Lizzie internally connecting the dots of where you got the coffee from. Lizzie bit the inside of her cheek. Her jaw tightens and her ears burn when she hears your name slips out of her lips in the sweet and flirty tone.

"Katie, uh yeah, Lizzie got me a coffee. I'll get you one now, okay? I'll be back." With that you go to get her a coffee, leaving Katie and Lizzie alone. Awkward tension fills the gap around both of them. Both of them are looking at you walking away as if they are waiting for you to leave before they start a conversation with each other.

“Hi, Katie. Sorry, I didn’t get you coffee. I didn’t know you and y/n would come together.” Your ex-girlfriend explains. “Oh, it’s okay, Liz. Don’t worry and yes, y/n and I came together. She picked me up.” Katie replied with a little smirk. The Irish woman knows that something is going on, she notices the vibe and the body language every time you two see each other. She figures that you are Lizzie’s ex-girlfriend. Katie’s answer makes her heart wrenched and she quivers with indignation. Jealousy quickly seared through her. All Lizzie thinks of now is to vaguely mark her territory, claiming that she won’t just sit watching Katie take you away from her.

“Oh really? Let me guess, she came fifteen minutes early?” Her right eyebrow arches as she tilts her head and asks Katie. Katie didn’t expect a confident tone in her question. “Yes, she did.” She tries to hide how Lizzie’s tone actually intimidates her. “Oh, she still hasn’t changed at all. Always ready to please in any way she can." Lizzie’s eyes quickly and subtly glanced at the woman next to her then back to look at you talking with other casts.

"Oh yeah, I believe you. She showed me that so many times. She is very skilled and does it naturally." Katie responds quickly to your ex-girlfriend as her gray eyes make contact with Lizzie's before another smirk forms itself as she secretly waits to see your ex’s reaction to her words. Katie knows that her answer will stir Lizzie’s emotion easily. Well, it was her purpose actually.

Lizzie’s attempt to show Katie where her line is that she shouldn’t cross has failed. Regrettably, it backfired her. Just as what Katie expected, it made her think what she wanted her to. Her heart and mind race into a pile of questions. What did she mean? With those words Katie said, did she mean it in some regular things or something that’s more intimate? Oh she hates the thought of it. It hurts and drives her crazy. Her jealousy skyrocketed in no time. “Oh.” The only response she could let out as she clenched her fist secretly and looked at you.

Katie’s presence slowly moves away as she shifts her steps to you. The view of her hand touching your arm to notify you that she is next to you really messes with Lizzie’s emotion right now. Then, she sees your smile appear instantly when you see Katie. All of this is just too much for her to bear especially after the last heated conversation between you two. No matter how much she tries to avert her eyes from you, it keeps looking back at you. As if you can feel that she is staring in your direction, you steal a glance at her in the middle of your conversation with others. With that, she finally breaks eye contact with you in embarrassment. Her heart's addiction to you hypnotizes her to look at you once more only to get caught with again by you and it feels like a knife stabs her heart.

She takes a deep breath, hoping the pain will go away with the air she exhales but it doesn’t help. You see her lower her gaze to the ground, fidgeting with her own fingers. You can’t deny it, it bothers you. Your heart tells you to go to her to ask if she is okay while you are engaging in a conversation with some of the cast.. As luck would have it, Scarlet comes to Lizzie.

“Hey Liz, I texted you. I was—” Scar’s words faltered when she realized Lizzie’s facial expression and you stole a glance at her. “Are you okay, Liz? Why was y/n looking over here?” The blonde continues.

Lizzie raises her head and quickly turns her back on you as she asks in whisper “Really? Y/n was looking at me?”

“Well, she kinda was earlier.” The older actress answers, her brows drawn together as she tries to figure out why Lizzie asks the particular question. “Is she looking at me, right now?” Lizzie curiously questions Scarlet. “Not anymore, you are acting weird. What’s wrong? Liz, what did she do to you now?” The protective feelings for her best friend escalated instantly. “Nothing, Scar. I’m okay.” A shaky breathing left her mouth soon after she replied.

“So what happened after you went with her that day, you never told me. You were missing in action for a few days. You good?” Scar asks as she stares daggers at you but this time you didn’t notice nor feel it. As Lizzie’s lips slightly opened to answer the question, the producer came and called for everybody’s attention.

He asked everybody to sit down and explain the plan for today. It will be a day for the whole cast to integrate while spending the day together. The first plan is to get breakfast. The director made a reservation in the restaurant near the set. The day will continue with paintball activity and then a bonfire for a little rest and drink get together time.

Lizzie didn’t talk much at breakfast unless someone talks to her or when she really has to. Scarlet noticed all this, she could see the tension in her but she tried not to ask Lizzie more just yet.. Everybody is divided into two buses to get to the location of the paintball battlefield. Lizzie and Scarlet are in the same bus with you and Katie together with some people from the crew that takes care of makeup and wardrobe for them.

Lizzie is mesmerized by how well you are getting along with everyone. You talk with everybody about anything without a problem. As much as she enjoys looking at you gingerly, Lizzie tries not to be too direct with staring but deep down she feels a need to make sure that Katie will be keeping her distance from you. Jealousy boils in her with every laugh and touch between you and Katie.

“Jesus, Liz, what did that poor bottle do to you " Scar’s voice didn’t really catch Lizzie’s attention until she felt a nudge on her arm. "hm…?" Just then Lizzie sees how hard she was squeezing the plastic bottle in her hand. " oh shit I… fuck im a mess." Lizzie comments on herself under her breath but loud enough for Scarlet to hear it. "Oh yeah honey you are. Get it together.” Scarlet teases her with a smile but Lizzie knows that she can count on her friend.

As soon as the buses arrive, everybody goes change and puts on the protective gears. Lizzies eyes go every now and then to you. You and Katie have not left each other's side since breakfast. Lizzie’s eyes secretly flicker around back and forth between you and Katie who is struggling putting on her protective vest and helmet. You come close to her taking it from her hands without a question. Without words spoken Katie turned around and let you help her.

Lizzie can't focus on putting on her gears. She sees you stand so close behind Katie, too close and it's driving her nuts. You zip up Katie's uniform and start putting on the hard vest. Katie shivered a little when yn hand rested on her ribs to adjust the straps of the vest. The Irish actress feels an invisible soft rush through her body when your touch lays on it..

"Is it okay? Not too tight?" You ask softly but enough for Lizzie to hear. " Ye..yeah thank you it's perfect." Katie answers nervously but with a tiny confidence both of her hands find yours. You smile at her touch with a little chuckle fills the air as you say in almost a whisper " Okay turn around." Lizzie’s fist clenched together when she saw how close the two of you were. How Katie reacts to your touch. How close are your lips to her ear when you tell her to turn around. Her chest is tightened with emotions. Her ears are burning. She hates everything that she sees. Part of her wishes that it was her, not Katie. Oh how much she wishes that she can feel your touch again or feel your breath touch her ear again when you whisper to her like you used to.

Scarlet has to take her hand to prevent her from digging her nails into her flesh. You put Katie’s helmet on and then go to prepare yourself to be safe and sound just in case if anyone will actually shoot you. Katie’s attention is now hooked on you, she tries to help you just so she can get close with you more. She grabs your helmet. As soon as you are ready, you look for your helmet and you find where it is. Katie gives you a teasing smirk and winks at you. You return a smile to her then try to take your helmet from her hands.

Katie runs away playfully, making you run after her to catch her. Lizzie’s jaws are tighter than ever while watching how both of you interact. The laughter from both of you shatters her heart all over again. She tries hard to ignore it and continue on gearing up. Her mind is screaming with loud thoughts. Wondering if you and Katie know if she is there watching. She is thinking if this is really a pure connection between you and her or you are doing it on purpose just to remind her that you are no longer hers and you have moved on from her, being happy with Katie. Your ex can’t look at the two of you any longer. She glanced up to the sky to avoid any tears rolling down as she pressed her lips to not let any words come out of her. She shoves her hair back from her face then tuck her hair behind her ears frustrated. She tensed her shoulders as she tried to remind her to stay strong from being ambushed by her own jealousy.

Lizzie thought this day couldn’t even get any worse, but she was wrong. Her eyes can’t really avoid the view in front of her. She sees you finally catch up with Katie and you take her by her waist and lift her up then swing to turn her into the direction of where your belongings are.

Katie giggles "Okay! Okay! Put me down, y/n. You won. Please put me down." Her giggle grows into laughter that is quickly greeted with yours. You answer her in between your laugh, "No way I’m not letting you go that easy." Lizzie misses the sound of laughter and the way you laugh with Katie was just like you used to sound. She remembers how her heart flustered when she heard you laugh with the view of your smile. The memory quickly goes away as soon as she hears Katie say " Okay dinner’s on me, please now put me down" With that you finally put her down and turn her around in your arms to face you. Katie’s hands spontaneously land on both crooks of your neck as her breath hitches at how close two of you are. Eye contact is surely locked for a good few seconds, long enough for Lizzie to see it. Katie’s gray eyes look at yours in adoration. The smell of your perfume put her in trance easily. Your smile gives her butterflies and warmth spreading up arm into heart. Katie is sure that you could feel her heart wildly and she is grateful that she is wearing her helmet so you won’t see how much she is blushing right now.

Seeing how intimate you are with Katie, how she blushes and how you look at her definitely shreds Lizzie’s heart to tiny pieces. It drags her mind to remind her what Katie said earlier about you. Pain shoots through her chest as if sharp ice stabs her in realization that Katie means that it’s about a more intimate situation between you and her.

You put Katie down and took the helmet from her. In a low voice but enough for Lizzie to hear you say "It's a date then." Then you put your helmet on and moved into the direction of the entering gate. Katie needed a couple of seconds to get herself together and you look back at her as you ask “Are you coming with me?” followed by your hand stretching out waiting for Katie to grab it the walk together. But for lizzie… it took everything in her not to blow up right there and then. Every single cell in her body telling her to stop it and get back what's hers.

Scar notices once again and lets out a harsh breath and comments in a slight sing-song tone.”It's gonna be a long day" with that they move on the arena to start the battle.

Like an endless torture for Lizzie, the outcome of drawing names for the teams, you and her are in the same team together with a couple more people. The match is going well. It's a half and half situation with people from each team left on the field. When you have another man in the view, you aim at him but unfortunately he shoots before you get your chance. To your surprise, he shot someone on your left instead of you. The time stops for a second when you see Lizzie fall down on the ground with a yellow stain on her inner thigh. Laying down in pain that is caused by not so far distance between her and men that shoot her. Your heart drops to your stomach as soon as you hear a little scream coming from Lizzie and that brings you back to reality. In a brief second, you take your gun and shoot the man right in the middle of his mask and it takes his vision away. Despite you still being in the game you lift your gun up telling everybody that you are out. You get worried and move as fast as you can then crouch down next to Lizzie.

"Y/n, what are you doing you are not out yet, we could have won that.'' Lizzie speaks through pain. You chuckle in bitterness and let out your slight sarcastic comment, " Still as competitive as always. I guess some things don’t change. Come on, I'm taking you out of here." You lowered your head for her to grab your neck and help her to get up on one leg. You grab her waist tight with one hand still holding the gun up in the other hand as a surrender sigh. You mumble in annoyance "I really want to know which idiot came up with this paintball activity." As you both keep walking. "Y/n, I'm fine, don't worry please." She responds to your frustration. She knows how upset you are. “No, Liz. You are not okay. I heard your scream and you are in pain.” You respond in such vexation and worryness. She was right, you are upset. You hate seeing her in pain. Your worry tone in your answer turns her head and she looks at you. Her heart swells with hope, even it's just a little but it is enough to soothe her after everything she saw earlier and got her heart shredded.

When they go through the gate the director apologizes with so much more remorse and concern to Lizzie and tells her that maybe it wasn't the best idea. "Yes, it's definitely not the best." You let out your irritation but you stop yourself from bursting out a snarkier response when you feel her hand gently tapping your shoulder. Despite what happened between you too and how long since the break up, even your body hasn't forgotten how much her touch always soothes you. You try not to think about it and focus on helping Lizzie to walk.

The director asks Lizzie if she is okay and of course one last apology flies out of his lips. She assures him that she will be good as new and that it will just leave a bruise. You ask the crew where the bathroom is and the first aid kit. When he showed you the directions as he handed the kit, both of you were left alone in the bathroom.

The room is filled with silence for a second but soon Lizzie clears her throat nervously and says "Y/n, thank you for helping me. I can take care of it now you can go.'' Your serious and worried face is seen by Lizzie, a line appears between your eyebrows. You let out another disbelieving chuckle. "Not happening, take the uniform off." You answer as you look at her and your hand gestures what you meant. Lizzie is taken by surprise but she turns her back facing you and she obliges. While she is undressing, you check out what’s in the first aid kit. As soon as she is done taking off the one piece uniform, she turns around to you. Silence came back into the room, filling every corner of it. You put down the first aid kit as soon as you find what you need shortly before you turn to her. You are not gonna lie, you got caught off guard seeing her standing there only in her t-shirt and underwear. Your mouth turns dry and you swallow the lump in the back of your throat.

The way Lizzie softly looks at you in a nervous adoration secretly. It actually warms her heart seeing how you are worried about her. It makes her feel that deep down she is still important to you. Her hope kindled but from what she sees in your expression and body language, she knows something bothers you and it's not just about her getting hurt.

You get to her closer and break the glass wall of silence as you say "Uh let me help you." You put one of Lizzie's arms over your shoulder and you hold her tight on her waist then pull her closer to you. You lift her up swiftly. As a reflex surprised response, she quickly lands her other arms over your shoulder and locks her hands behind your neck. Her breath hitches softly, she is stunned that she can be that close to you again. "Y/n, what are you doing?" She asks. Her breath and a very soft whimper jump out straight to your ears. Your heart starts to thump faster. Your perfume evokes her senses, the sudden feel of your muscles under her touch feels like a treat for her body. Everything happens so fast and before she knows it, you put her down to sit on the counter but it was enough for her desire of you flickered back to life.

While Lizzie is trying to ignore the little rush of feelings spread all over her heart and body, you are near the sink wetting a piece of cloth with warm water. Your mind goes back to what just happened and it pisses you off more followed by regret.

You clicked your tongue showing how upset you are, and wished that you would have acted sooner. "I had him… just a second sooner and none of it would happen." you said under your breath but Lizzie heard you.

"What do you mean?" she asks as she turns her head to you but silence is all she got from you. Filled by curiosity, the brunette's hand reached your shoulder. "Y/n, talk to me, what do you mean?" Your heart feels heavy and you sigh deeply shortly before you finally answer her "If I fired a second sooner none of these would happen. I was aiming at him, you wouldn't get hurt if I would fire sooner" Your heart feels clogged with guilt and it shows clearly all over you.

Lizzie’s shoulders sag, your words echoing in her ears. She has the need to make you feel better and not let you beat yourself up regarding this situation. "Y/n, it was an accident, things like that happened." her hand does the softest squeeze and her thumb gives you a few comforting strokes as her effort to give you the reassurance you need. Her little touch on your shoulder soothes you yet deep down it bothers you at the same that you swiftly grab her hand and drag it off your shoulder as casually as you can as you reply to her words "I know. But how dumb can you be to shoot someone at the leg where you dont have any protection." Then you turned around and kneeled in front of Lizzie, slightly pushing her legs apart to make space for herself. Lizzie barely gets the chance to process how she feels when you move her hands away. Now seeing you kneel between her legs makes her lungs forget how to work. Her breath caught up inside of her. You didn’t realize that you had stolen her breath. Her face felt hot and her skin flushed. Her knees weakened even though she is sitting right now. World spinning from the closeness between you two. Lizzie is trying to compose herself breathing heavily while you are cleaning her inner thigh with wet warm cloth and try to go on with a conversation to distract herself from the lust and nervous state she is in.

She licks her lower lips before she continues her response to you "Y/n….you shoot him….in the face.”

"I know and he deserved that." You answer nonchalantly and shrug your shoulders casually. Lizzie smiles a little at your antics and straight to the point remarks. "He kind of did ..Ouch!" She nods in agreement but quickly flinches from the pain on her leg. "Sorry, Liz. I need to clean this up." You carefully clean the bruise then go to grab some pain reliever ointment from the first aid kit. "It will be cold but it will make it better, okay?" You warn and Lizzie nods looking into your eyes.

''Okay, Liz, open your legs up. I need more space." You told her. Lizzie is shocked by your bold request and slowly opens up her legs more. You get back to your previous position and start putting some ointment. You lowered your face just barely above Lizzies legs and started gently blowing air to make it less unpleasant. You don’t know that Lizzie thinks that she would be more than happy to get hit more times just to be so close to you again. The gentle air you blew to her leg sent heat down her spine. Her body sizzled. All she can do is just look at you, your every move and every inch of you. Her body begs for more of your touch. Her fingers have the urge to rake between your hair. Oh the view in front of her is driving her crazy, old memories are parading in her mind.

Her mind is flickering from one memory to another rapidly. How you used to touch her both softly and roughly. She remembers the feelings that your fingers, your lips even your tongue works on every inch of her body inside out. The more thoughts filling her mind the more it affects her sense. Everything sounds as if underwater. All she can hear now is the memories of the mix of your moan and her moan that used to collide together while both of you were tangled in pleasure with each other.

Oh how she misses your voices whispering in her ear every time you told her that she is yours followed by your moan and the nibbling on her ear.

It feels like it was just yesterday the last time she felt her nails scratch your back and dig deep as she reached her high from you being inside her. She feels the ghost of your lips trailing wet kisses all over her body, sucking the soft skin of her neck and even your love bites while you were marking her. Longing whispers through her and heat pooled in her.

She tries to control herself right now. Despite how much her body craves you and your touch, she tries not to do anything about it. She doesn’t want to make everything between the two of you more complicated than it already is.

Your voice finally brings her back from her heated daze. "Uh–Liz, I'm gonna grab your clothes. Just give me a sec and I’ll be back." Lizzie awkwardly looked at you, as she stuttered and the petname almost slip out of her “Uh y-yeah, okay swee-uh I meant, okay y/n.'' She shortly shook her head and closed her eyes for a second to correct her answer. You nod then walk to the door.

As soon as you open the door and right before you walk out, you hear her voice call your name "Y/n?"

That's all it takes, hearing her calling your name was enough to bring your wall into a crumble but of course you cover it well. Hence the one word response. "Yeah?"

Lizzie tries to avoid your eyes but she can't. She is fidgeting with her fingers as she lets out two simple words "Thank you." This time you couldn't help but look at her and your very own eyes betrayed you, you look at her from head to toe as briefly as you can. "I got your back Lizzie. Always.. Despite everything." With that you disappeared to the other side of the door leaving Lizzie with a bittersweet reaction to your last sentence. She can count on you...always…… despite everything…. Everything she did to you.

Silence screams loud in the room, she can only hear her own heavy sigh as her breathing slows down after the vivid heated train of thoughts pays a visit in her mind. Everything in her still trying to process everything that just happened.

Little does she know, you are having your own battle behind that door.

You breathe as if you just stopped from running. Well, you really did. Both your mind and your heart were trying hard to run away from the desire that was built up while you were taking care of Lizzie.

You close your eyes and shake your head, hoping that the memories of you and Lizzie will stop playing in your head. Your heartbeat tripling in speed, your chest feels tight. You feel that your heart will explode with emotions.

Hearing your name wrapped in her voice just made it harder for you. It echoes back in your mind how she calls your name with her breathy voice.

You close your eyes one more time followed by a deep breath. "Get your shit together, y/n!" You scold yourself under your breath then waltzed away.

Ch. 7

A/n: Welp, that's it from us today. Let us know what you think. Your reblogs, and comments are highly appreciated! Follow me for more. See you in next and thank you!

Cheerio!

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chelleztjs18 · 2 years

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Half Love (Ch. 5) - Unspoken Questions

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader ; Katie McGrath x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n's relationship with Lizzie has been in a rough situation and goes downhill. What should Y/n do when there's no choice left to say and a new future opens up with someone new in it?

A/N: Hello! Welcome back to this series! Thank you for your patience for the updates. We hope you enjoy the emotional ride in this one. Happy Reading.

Series Masterlist

Lizzie texts Scar that she'll go with you. She follows you walking to the car, watching you from behind for a bit as you walk. Adoring the view and your perfume that passes through her face, evoking her nose as the wind blows it her direction. She always loves how you smell. As she finally picks up her pace and catches up with you, a thought pops up. How could she forget how much she loved your scent? The smell of you was addictive. She forgot when was the last time she cherished it or the smile your face patched only for her. She forgot when was the last time she appreciated your…presence and everything about you. These series of thoughts rapidly bounce all over her mind until you call her name.

“Liz? Are you okay?” You ask. “Huh? Y-yeah. Yeah.” She blinks a few times as she comes back from her train of thoughts. “Well okay, hop in.” You open the passenger door for her like you always did. “Thank you s— uh y/n.” She stutters as she tries to thank you and she gets into your car. The same car you always had. The view of you opening the door for her feels like a time machine.It brings out a lot of memories of how you always opened the door for her or all the dates you both had and the pet name she used to call you with, almost slipped out because of it. Luckily, she blocks it fast enough before you notice it.

She doesn’t know where you are taking her. The only thing you told her was it’s 20 minutes away. It might not sound too long for you to be in a car ride with her. Or does it? Her mind questions that and it’s dying to know the answer. Because for her, it sounds like a long ride or if she can add, it’s an emotionally difficult one. She sits awkwardly. You don’t say a word like you used to do when you both were in a car ride. She can’t help but notice you still do your habit while driving, resting your right arm lazily on the center console, so close to her while your hand sometimes on the gear. Your finger taps on gear following the music you play and the only differences are you are not holding her hand nor talking much with her. You used to always hold her hand or occasionally pull it to your lips to kiss it. You used to talk a lot with her or even sing for her. She can’t believe she misses all of that now. She is thinking all of these memories that were long stored in the back of her mind and almost forgotten way before the day you left.

You are not immune to those memories either. You didn’t expect they would be trespassing your mind. Well, apparently the memories that you thought that all long gone, buried somewhere God knows, found its way back to your mind. You are not happy about it but it subconsciously soothes some part of your heart you didn’t know long for. It’s like a drop of rain on the Sahara desert, it’s unexpected but it’s not enough to cool down the whole desert. Those sweet memories are not enough to fix your wrecked heart. You are fighting it. You are not letting this 20 minutes car ride drag you back to square one with her.

She steals glances at you. Gosh, this is a painful car ride for her but she doesn’t want this to end. Being in this moving steel box with you, tricks her brain to forget the heartbreak she has been having since you left. Your hand and fingers that she is dying to touch, to entwine them with hers. She misses you, she misses everything.

“Two weeks ago, I went to the bakery we used to go to.” She breaks the silence. “Oh really? How was it?” You shift your sitting position as if you are preparing yourself for another memory invasion that will come from the conversation she started. “They still make your favorite pastry. Oh Henry still works there. He asked about you and said Hi to you.” A small smile of sadness slowly formed on her face, you know it was probably because of the moments you both had there when you were still together. Yeah, memories, memories and memories. They are the main culprit that makes this whole situation difficult between you and her but you put all of the effort you can to fight it. You try to act cool about it. “Oh really? He’s still there? Last time he said he wanted to retire and let his kids run the bakery and that was like a few years ago.” You answer casually.

“That was exactly what I said to him when I saw him and all he did was laugh. He–uh didn’t know what happened to us, so he gave me two of those pastries you like for me to give to you.” Her smile slowly slid down.

“Oh.. well he always does that. If I come there, he probably would do the same and give me your favorite pumpkin bread to give to you.” You shrug your shoulders without even sharing a gaze with her as you respond as if it’s just something usual that happens, nothing big. Nothing special. Once again, the casualty you show makes her wonder if you have moved on from her that easy. “Yeah. You are right.” She answers. Just like that, everything falls back into silence until you arrive at where you are taking her.

_____

“Are you sure we can park here? It’s a private spot.” She asks. “Yeah I know. It’s mine. Come on, it’s a 5 minutes walk.” You answered.

You finally get to a small cozy coffee shop. You casually greet the lady behind the counter as you walk in. She smiles at you and her eyes flicks between you and Lizzie. “Hi y/n, the usual?” The lady asks. “Hi Jess, can you actually give us a sec and a more private place, please?” You politely ask. “Yeah sure, just go upstairs. Your spot is free right now.” She smiles. “Thank you Jess.”

You walk to where the lady said followed by Lizzie. Confused at first but she finally connects the dots and asks “This is your usual place to get coffee?” She asks and a silent nod is all she gets from you as an answer.

You both sit at a cozy corner table near the window. She is not surprised that it’s your spot, it’s everything you like. Cozy, soft light, soft music plays near the window for you sometimes people watching. She thought the more time she spends with you today the easier it gets for her to be around you. Worse luck, she is wrong. She is still nervous and her mind is all over the place now, uncontrollably. She wonders what is actually beneath that calm and quiet exterior of yours. She can’t tell if you are nervous too or not. It’s slowly but surely driving her crazy.

You break the silence. “Okay, Liz. Just so you know, it’s awkward, first you have to stop staring at me like I’m some kind of a ghost or something.”

She is surprised with what you just said and instantly turns her cheeks red. "Oh. Shit. Uh, sorry y/n.." You coldly interrupted her. "Second, we will be working together and it's a big chance for the both of us so let's try to be civil and professional with each other, yeah?" Your straight forward statement felt like a dagger stabs through her chest.

She is confused and feels like she is in a limbo. At one moment you were sweet but then you gave her cold shoulders. She can't figure it out but she doesn't want to let you make her feel that she is under your grip. So she subtly fights back and plays along the way you want to play it..

“Okay then, let’s go through breaking the ice so we can be like you said.. Civil “ She answers as she does an air quotation mark on the last word and she lets out a forced smile.

She clears her throat before she continues. "So--uh what happened after you...after we uh--..what happened for the past year and a half?" Her smile slowly curves down to frown but then she tries to hide it by looking away for a quick second. You take a deep breath before you start to answer her question. “A lot and not so much at the same time, I moved in with John. He helped me get through everything and then I moved to New York. I got a chance to play at Lincoln Center for the performing arts and I took it. I saved up some money." You tell her casually. Your eyes keep coming back searching for her warm green eyes sprinkled with gold speckles no matter how hard you try to avoid it. You can’t lie how much you miss those eyes that you always adore.

Her eyes sparkle with excitement and pride for you and oh boy, that’s one of your favorite things for you to see in her eyes so it’s just getting harder for you. “Oh my God! That’s great! It’s like one of the best places. I had lessons there when I was younger. It was such a magical place!” Her excitement slips out of her control and she spontaneously holds your hands. This time your breath hitches softly right after you feel the warmth of her hands on yours. You swiftly pull your hands away.

Lizzie pulls her hands away awkwardly right after that. “Uh-I-I’m sorry, y/n. I got carried away. I was too excited for you, you always wanted to play at New York’s theaters. It has been your dream. Sorry.” She tucks her hair behind her ears nervously as she slowly blushes and it’s obvious to you.

You shake your head slowly as you answer “It’s okay, Liz. No worries.” You can hear your heartbeat in your ears. That quick touch from her feels like a quick shot of tranquilizer and it weakens your hands and knees. It feels like you slowly float up to cloud nine but you quickly pull yourself back down. “But, I gotta say, I miss those feelings I used to get from holding your hands.” Her stomach does somersaults instantly. She curses herself internally why on earth she would say that to you.

“Remember, Liz. Let’s keep it professional.” You remind her as your hands go to the edge of the tables and unthinkingly hold it to fight the urge to grab her hands back.

“Right..Right. Keep it professional. I’m sorry.” Her gaze jumps around from one spot to another except yours. She pulls her hand off the table and keeps them on her lap for a little while. “Where is the waitress? I need some water.” She is acting all nervous and awkward.

“She’ll be here soon, Liz.” You answer. “Oh okay. Good. Well, how is your family?” She is relieved that she finally picked something to talk about. “All good and healthy. They visited me a month ago.” You reply as calmly as you can. “Well that’s good. Oh and how is Luke? I miss him.” She tries to sound as positive as she can in front of you as she draws a smile across her face.

“Yeah… me too. He’s gone.” You respond and grief sounds clear in your voice from your best friend's death. Lizzie gasped in such surprise and instantly felt massive sadness as if she could feel it from you. “Oh my God. You, Luke and John were best buddies. I’m sorry, I didn’t know that he–” You suddenly cut her off. “How would you know?”

Before Lizzie could say anything to your snarky comment, the waitress came to take your order. Despite how you act just not to her, you ask her “You want the usual?”

The awkward Lizzie can only nod to your question. You order her coffee, yours and a dessert for both of you to share.

“What about you tell me what happened to you for the past year and a half?” You try to look as casual as you can when you ask her even though internally you feel the need to know. She is actually caught off guard with your question despite her act looks as if your question doesn’t have any effect on her.

Her mouth feels dry, her mind is fuzzy. Rapidly thinking what’s the right word or how to answer your question. “Uh, what happened to me? Um, okay. Well–” She clears her throat, shifts her sitting position a little bit hoping it will shake off her nervousness. “I have been busy with work and work. I meant–”

“Well, so nothing new? Just you with your work. I should’ve known.” You didn’t let her finish her sentence by once again your bitter comment. “No. No. Jesus, y/n. Can you let me finish? I was trying to answer your question and it is not easy.” She quickly tackled your comment. She can’t hold herself back to slightly argue back at you after how you acted to her and your cold words. “I thought you wanted us to be civil?” She adds as she returns your own words against you. What you hear from her makes you bite your tongue, thinking if you are too harsh to her.

“Fine. Fine. Okay.” You look at her expression that makes your stomach turn to a knott and your heart pounding through your chest. Your eyes accidentally catch her lips in your sight, you quickly look down for a few seconds only to see her finger wearing her promise ring. It does make you feel something in your heart that you can’t decipher. Now, you are thinking maybe looking straight at her face or those lovely green eyes is the easier choice to do right now. You cross your arms chest in a protective stance from any other ambush on your heart as you see her start to talk again.

“Well, I’m not gonna lie to you, everything was hard for me since that morning you uh–left. I was lost but I got through all those. I had to. I buried myself in work. When I didn’t work, I stayed at home alone. I learn more about cooking. I tried to cook your recipe once.” She answers so softly, trying to suppress all the emotion in her as she speaks.

“Oh okay—” You pause and subtly inhale. You don’t know how to react to the first half of her answer. “So, which recipe? Your favorite stew?” You ask and pick the cooking topic to talk about just to make the conversation as light as possible. She nods as she notices what is exactly what you are doing. “How was it?” You ask again.

“It wasn’t as good as how you always make it, plus you weren’t there singing around the kitchen with the spatula in your hand as your mic.” She answers followed by a bitter chuckle as she lowers her head, avoiding eye contact with you. You try not to let yourself slowly submerge into the memories with her hence the silence from you after that.

The stillness between you starts to recreate the iceberg between you that she has been trying to break and she hates it. "I tried to bake a pie." She awkwardly continues. You can see her effort to break the tension.

One memory pops up as soon as you hear what she just told you but you try to ignore it and once again you try to keep your cool and ask her casually. "How did it turn out?"

"I burnt it." She looks embarrassed but she raises her right index fingers as soon as you are going to say something and says "BUT.. not as bad as I did before. I know what you were thinking." She interrupts.

"You meant that time when the burnt pie made the smoke detector beeping like crazy?" You can't help yourself to mention that memory. She lay her arms on the table and leaned a little more on the table, being a little less tense.

"Yes,that day. You ran out of the shower only with a towel and panicked, all wet but then you slipped and fell in an awkward position." She accidentally slips out a little laugh. And there it is, your other weakness from her. The sound of her laughter and that smile. Your heart skittered. Warmth spreads in your heart and pain shoots through it at the same time. One side of you wants to hear more and the other is trying to ignore that contagious laugh, because you know you shouldn’t miss the sound of it and the feelings you got from it.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh at you slipping and falling but it was really funny.” She lets out another little laugh and just like that, it broke the ice you both thought was hard to break. You are betrayed by your own body. You uncross your arms from your chest then your shoulders slowly roll down. Your lips curved to a smile subconsciously. “Funny, huh? You should see your face. It was a mix of panicked, trying hard holding a laugh but confused between helping me first or taking care of that burnt pie. Yeah, imagine that.” You no longer have control over yourself, you finally respond to Lizzie’s memory trip with you.

“Baking was never really your thing, Liz.” Eye contacts finally made and trapped between you two. “I know. That day, I was just trying to make your favorite pie for your birthday surprise.” She presses her lips as she responds to your comment softly. She doesn’t know if she should smile or frown from the sweet yet painful memory.

“Yeah, I…remember that.” You reply and your voice slowly fades on the last two words as you break eye contact. You and Lizzie instantly look down on the table at the same time awkwardly. No words were found between you two until the waitress came with your order.

As soon as the waitress put the decent size dessert cake in the middle and two small spoons wrapped with a napkin, Lizzie asks politely “Uh, can we get two small plates please?”

“Sure.” The waitress answers but as she turns around you stop her. “It’s okay, Jess. You don’t have to. It will save you a trip.”

You slide the dessert closer to her as she looks at you bewilderedly. “You’ll love this. Try it.” You insist, leaving no room for her to refuse. She cuts a little bite with her spoon and gives it a try. “Wow. This is delicious.” She comments. You give her a dampened smile as you nod to respond to her comment.

She then slowly and silently slides the plate back to the middle to share it with you. You grab your spoon and take a small bite of it. Her hopes kindled. She doesn’t mind the silence right now even though you are confusing her. You don’t say a word to her yet you share a cake with her from one plate like you both used to do. Not that she is complaining about it. It’s another thing that tricks her brain to forget that both of you are not together anymore. This is like a few minutes of sweet treat for her broken heart after a year and a half.

_____

“I didn’t bring my scripts. We can just use yours.” You suggest. “Sure but it’s at my apartment. Should we just check out the scripts at my place?” She internally begged that you agree. You agree. You take care of the check and you both get ready to leave.

As you walk out of the coffee shop, you turn left to where you parked your car but she grabs your hand to stop you. You are surprised and spontaneously look at her hand holding yours. It instantly reminds you and Lizzie of the last time you were at her house before you left with the rest of your stuff. She quickly lets your hand go. “S–Sorry. My place is a block away this way. We can just walk.” She points to the right as she tells you. You nod and you walk with her.

“Do you mind if we stop to buy some wine?” She asks as she looks at you and waits for your answer. You nod. “Sure, a little liquid of courage won’t harm.”

You stand behind her, waiting for her to open the door of her apartment. You both walked into her well furnished one bedroom apartment. “This is it. Welcome to my temporary home here.” Her hands swing as if she is presenting something. She tries to hide her excitement that you are actually here with her, at her place.

Meanwhile, you feel something in you. Something odd but somewhat comfortable, being in her place with her. It’s a lie if you said you don’t feel like you are reliving the feelings of being home with her, the same feelings you had back in L.A.

You look around subtly and quickly. You see her favorite navy blue throw blanket on the couch that you bought her for Christmas. It’s the one that you used to fold for her everytime she was done using it. You notice her touch in the apartment, some of them are just like the one she added at your and her home. You see a little coffee cup holder stand next to the coffee machine the way she likes it. You remember how you want the cups to be organized in the cabinet but she wants to keep some cups next to the coffee machine so it will be faster and reachable for her. You can’t help but notice how she puts a decorative bowl for keys just like how it is back at her home.

“It’s a nice place.” You comment casually. “Yeah, I picked this because it’s the closest to the set and it’s a nice one.” She explains and sounds more relaxed. She grabs the script from her room. Your eyes followed her walking to her room then you pulled out your phone to distract your mind from her and you found there was a text from Katie but you ignored it and you end up just mindlessly scrolling your phone. You try to gain control back over your mind.

She comes back and sits on the couch that finally tangled your attention to her again. “Here we go. Come, sit here.” She looks up to you as her right hand pat the empty space next to her with her left holds the scripts.

You remove the throw blanket, you casually fold it nicely out of habits. “You bring this with you?” She looks at you. “Yeah, it’s my favorite and it’s from you.” She answers as her eyes haven’t left you. You put the folded blanket on the arm of the couch. “You haven’t changed at all.” She comments on what you were doing. “You haven’t either.” You reply as you sit next to her.

She looks at you, internally admiring you. You swallow hard and clear your throat. “Shall we check out the scripts now?” You brought her back from her daze. “Oh y-yeah. Sorry.”

Being caught red handed, clouds her mind and she doesn't realize she keeps holding the scripts. This is the first time the two of you have been so close to each other for a long time.

You can’t avoid stealing glances at her since you both left the cafe. She clears her throat and breaks the silence. “So you are totally okay with it? seeing from how calm you are." Lizzie asks and it grabs your attention instantly.

"Okay with what? What are you talking about?" You drag your sight to her with a perplexed look. "Oh. You didn't know. Uh, you play as my character's love interest." She explains slowly, trying to anticipate your reaction.

"Wait. Wait. Wait. What??" You exclaim in great shock. Your face loses its color in a split second. Your heart jumped up to your throat and it felt like it thumped right to your ears.

"I know..I know.. I was just as shocked as you are now. I found out about it this morning from Scar--" She is interrupted by noticing your uncomfortable state. "Y/n, are you okay?" She asks as she sees your breathing start to fasten up a little bit.

You feel anxious. It's harder than you thought it would be. You thought you could handle it, working with her. It would be easier if you don't play as her love interest or will it be this difficult no matter who you play as? You don’t even know the answer. All of the sudden all of the pain you felt two years ago came back. You start to think about quitting. “I–I can’t do this role. No. No. It’s too much. I should quit.” You mumble under your breath but clear enough for her to hear you.

An alarm rings in her mind. "What? No, y/n. Don't quit. You can do this. Look at me..look at me please." Her hands are now cupping both sides of your face. “Y/n sweetie, I need you to focus on my voice, okay? Focus on the sound of it.” She tells you gently. You try to focus on her voice, it soothes you but too many thoughts come in.

“Don’t worry. You’ll do great. We’ll be as professional as we can. I know we can do it. Please. Please don’t leave the role. Don’t quit.” Her hand gently strokes your hair back away from your face. Her voice breaks a little. A weight settled on her heart. Her heart aches thinking about it. She doesn't know what's going on. She thought she would refuse the role if she knew you were in it but now she wants you to stay.

Why? The question that pops up even though she tries to focus to calm you down, to convince you to stay.

Then the question becomes a real one. She hears your voice asking the same word and she quickly hopes you didn't mean the same question.

"What did you mean?" She lets out a confused expression on your question. "Why do you care so much for me not quitting?" You ask with a little bitterness and urge to know.

As if your question got her tongue, she can't answer it in an instance. Her mind rapidly thinks, even asks herself why and answers it at the same time.

"Tell me, Liz. Why do you care so much?" You repeat the question and it makes her feel like she was being pushed to the edge.

"Because I-- because I know this is your chance to go big in your acting career. You are a great actress. I want you to succeed." Her eyes start to glisten. She told you the truth but it wasn't the actual answer. It wasn't the main reason. She can't tell you that. She doesn't want to look vulnerable in front of you by telling you why.

She prefers to keep it herself no matter how hurtful it is. She needs to convince you to stay because this..this is the only way and her only chance to be around you...to try her best to fix everything and win your heart back.

As you are thinking about her answer, your eyes are suddenly trapped on a framed picture of both of you that she puts on the little shelf next to the couch. It hurts you to see it. It hurts like hell. The calmness you almost reach instantly is replaced by even a bigger tornado of feelings.

You are helpless from all sorrow and vexation. Anger roared inside your head, pushing you closer and closer to one question that you always wanted to ask her two years ago or every time you both argued but you never did. You never asked her because you cared too much that It will hurt her if you asked her.

Right now, you are at the point you can no longer keep it because that question keeps clawing your heart deeper and deeper. It's unbearable for you.

You look deep into her eyes. She feels your gaze as if it slices her soul. "Be honest with me, Elizabeth." Her breath hitches. She hates it, it hurts her to hear her first name slip out of your lips that makes her feel forced to accept that both of you are strangers to each other. She nods in defeat.

Your lips slightly open letting out a shaky breath as if it's trying to stall you not to ask the question but you finally ask her "Have you--have you ever cheated on me?"

Her breath hitches once more from the question. Your question feels like a spear stabs through her. Her eyes rounded and her jaw dropped. She can barely breathe. She is as shocked as possible, making her lose her words.

The few seconds of silence from her lead you to your own conclusion. You thought it's enough to answer your question. You stand up then grab your coat.

Lizzie quickly grabs your hand to stop you from leaving. "Oh no. No. No. You are not leaving right now, y/n." She demands then she quickly stands up.

"What the fuck was that question, y/n? You know I would never do that to you!" She continues in an offended tone. You pull your hand away from her and she loses her grip on you. She clenches her fists and tries not to get lost in her anger from your question.

"Do I? Do I, really?" You replied with sarcasm, and as you are ready to leave, her question stops you again. Rage bottled up inside you. "What was that supposed to mean?" She retorts. Her eyebrows furrowed in such vexation.

You walk closer to her as you talk. "Did YOU.." You pause as you realize that you raised your voice. "Did you really think that leaving me alone all the time, always coming home late, ditching me on our dates or forgetting about my birthday would not make me suspect something? Think for a fucking second on how did it look like from my perspective, Liz?” Your voice slowly rises and fills with more and more emotion.

“I know I wasn’t an angel!” She retorts. You instantly scoff at her words.she tilts her head at your reaction, extremely offended by your scoff. “But cheating? Really? That’s how low you think of me??” She simmered in anger. Her annoyance flared and her voice raised just like yours.

You clenched your jaw then you answered her on the top of your lungs. “It’s not about what I think of you! It’s about how you made me feel, Lizzie!" Your pulse slammed in your neck, almost breaking a scream. Pain, sadness and anger are all mixed together and made their way to her ears.

You look down to avoid her gaze. You feel so vulnerable right now and look so broken. Lizzie notices that easily and shifts her steps closer to you slowly.

"Y/n, look at me...Just… please…Look at me…" She pleads with a shaky breath and low voices. You bring back your heads up to look at her glossy eyes. "I have never ever cheated on you. Never. I promise, y/n." She explains slowly with quite a firm tone to add assurance in her answer.

You look away as you say "Don't promise me anything. I don't believe in promises… especially if they are from you. I'll see you at work." You make your way to the front door and leave her in silence. You didn't even give her a chance to answer you. You slam the door as you walk out.

She slowly sits down, tears escape from her eyes. Silence fills the room as she starts to sobs from everything that just happened. "I never cheated on you." She says it under her shaky breath. Trying to bear the heartache that she feels right now.

After you walked out of her place, you really couldn’t walk right away. Too much is going on emotionally and physically right now for you. Despair drags you down and numbness infuses your body. You are trying hard to hold back your tears. You keep telling yourself that everything between you and her is over. You inhale and exhale multiple times to calm yourself down and to ignore the old pain that you already forgot existed. Once you feel that you are back on your feet, you pull out your earphones from your pocket and play " I Caught Myself" by Paramore loudly. You walk back home while you are lost in your own world.

A/N: Welp, that's it folks! Let us know what you think. Your reblog, and comments are highly appreciated! Follow me for more. See you in next! Thank you.

Cheerio!

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