#half-assed housewifery

[the-dark-fantastic]

It is my professional opinion as a half-assed housewife that whoever invented THIS monstrosity:

[Image: Walmart’s knockoff of the Swiffer Sweeper]

should report immediately to Hell for assignment to an eternity of trying to clean with it, because Jesus Janitor Christ, WHY.

I do not want to stick my long-nailed fingers into a toothy-tabbed plastic hole to secure a sodden sweeper pad to BEGIN with, but I PARTICULARLY don’t want to do it every 2.7 seconds after I’ve started, when I must stick my long-nailed fingers into a toothy-tabbed plastic hole to secure a sweeper pad that is now sodden AND filthy, because the head flops around like a cat who refuses to be roused from its nap and the teeth might as well be the “Before” dentures on a Poligrip commercial.

(And I’m saying this as a poor person who often needs and appreciates generic versions of pricey products, but I got the actual name-brand Wet Jet in the roommate divorce and I am 100% going home to get it so I can finish helping out here, because if I have to Swiff this entire place with THAT thing, it’s gonna be Donna Reed meets Vlad the Impaler.)

#half-assed housewifery #cleaning #swiffer #knock-offs #raaaage