#halfway sobbing into the void because JIN! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vickylamore · 4 years

Text

Concert Falls

Requested? - Yes. “Hi! Can I get a BTS x 8th member reader where something happens during a concert and she tries to hide it but ends up crying on stage but she’s super guilty about it? Thank you!”

Summary - you and the boys are performing in Canada to conclude your North America Tour. You’re estatic and want to give your all, but during intermission, you receive a phone call from your hometown. That call changes your mood from happy and excited to grief.

Pairing - BTS x Reader (8th member platonic)

Genre - 8th member au! angst and fluff at the end.

W/C - 2.6k

Warnings; minor character death

"Intermission ends in five minutes!"

You drink the cold water in the glass cup, making sure not to leave any of the liquid unattended. Licking your lips, you place the cup on the table before jogging to your dressing room.

Leaning against the drawer, you stare at yourself in the mirror, wondering what small touches you should adjust. Applying the last of your clear lip gloss, you're about ready to go back in stage. The stylists would normal help you with it but since they already cleared you, you wanted to add some small touches.

"(Y/n)," you perk you head up at Jin, who leans against the door frame. "Come on, we'll be late." Even though you can tell he’s tired, he would always make sure you’re okay, no matter what.

You nod your head, looking back at the mirror. You frown and open your mouth to protest but Jin simply chuckles.

"Be quiet, you look gorgeous." You roll your eyes and despite to low grumble that leaves your throat, a smile can't help but to creep onto your face. "Come on, let's go."

"Okay, okay." You look down at your phone to see it buzzing. You look at Jin and give him puppy eyes, silently pleading for him to let you take the call.

He sighs, pinching the skin between his eyebrows. "One minute." You smirk as he turns around. “And if you get in trouble, it’s not my fault.”

Jokingly whining at his words, you sit on a stool and quickly pick up the phone, moving your hair to the side. You haven't seen the number before, so you carefully asks, "hello?"

The voice on the other side was a sweet, melodic female voice but something about her tone put you on edge. "Is this (L/n) (Y/n)?"

You subconsciously nod, but you quickly realize that she can't see you. Face palming to yourself, you sigh and answer with a soft noise of agreement.

The line goes quiet for a second. You can hear the lady stammer on her first couple words before suddenly turning said.

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, but it isn't until the words out of her mouth that you understand. A slow and bitter shiver runs down your side, your stomach flipping upside down.

The hairs on the back of your neck stand up, goosebumps appearing on your arms. Your mouth hanging slightly agape, your tongue licking your lips.

It's as if the voice from the other end is underwater, the muffled words and the soft spoken voice completely melting into one like a uncoordinated marching band.

"Two minutes!"

It's the sound of your manager booming across the hallway pulled you back to reality. The phone shaking violently in your hand, you try to talk but your throat tightens on itself, making it harder for you to breathe.

The burn at the back of your throat starts creeping into your chest, your heart aching at the information just giving. You chest doesn't move, the pain of air filling your lungs just too intense for you to take.

He’s gone.

Unconsciously dropping your phone, you lean against the counter in disbelief. Your mind pounds against your skull as your teeth chatter in grief.

He’s gone.

Your feet walk out of the room, leaving your phone and the woman on the other end alone. The lights and sound blend into one as you're unable to concentrate on what's happening.

Despite your legs bringing you somehwere, your mind was on in a completely different world. You can’t stop the rush of memories and flashbacks suddenly hitting you at once. It left a bitter ache in your throat and you knew if you even tried to open your mouth right now, you would break down and sob.

But the fans waiting for you didn’t know and neither did everyone else. What would they think? The only female of BTS not being able to perform because she was too emotionally weak and frail to push forward and deal with her problemes later.

So you decided to push through, despite your mind feeling foggy from the shock and your body feeling light because of the disbelief that swarmed your figure.

You don't know how you made in backstage but you did. You don't realize that someone took your hand and started gently dragging you towards the lift.

You don't know what's happening in front or around you. It's like being in a void, not knowing which direction to go or which gut feeling to trust, or which sound to follow.

They all seem so wrong.

It's only until a mic is placed in your hand that you realize what's going on. That's when you notice Jimin waving a hand next to your face.

You jump back slightly, surprised by the sudden action. He laughs, his gentle smile returning on his face. You hear him talking to you, but you can't quite make out the words.

Its then that you hear everything happening around you. The managers barking out orders as it's almost time you and the boys go to back on stage. The chants from the fans are so loud that you can hear it through your earpiece. The lights from above blind your vision as you rub your eyes.

Despite the familiar warmth you would always get when fans would chant your name, it didn’t fill you with a surge of energy like it normally would. The chants of your name filled your chest, but it wasn't enough to fill to hole in your heart.

You felt yourself swaying lightly, as you hand pressed against your forehead. You bit you lip and crouched down, you can hear the voices coming from Bangtan, most asking if you were okay.

You felt a light tap on your knee as you looked up to see Hoseok with a bright smile, though his eyes are brimmed with worry.

"You okay Ray?" You nodded your head, and if it wasn't for the current situation, you would've pushed him whilst laughing.

He gave you that nickname when he had first met you. As you're -the way he describes it- a ray of sunshine. In fact, it's also the nickname that stuck with you every since BTS started, the fans also calling you by this or by your stage name.

Blinking your eyes a couple of times, you get up from your crouch position. You wanted to reassure them, telling them that you're fine and that nothing was wrong.

But then you'd fall into denial, and as soon as you were reminded of the news, it would've hit you twice as hard as it did right now.

You send them a small grin as the lift starts moving. Sighing and gripping the mic in between your fingers, a smile appears on your face at the sight of ARMY, waving their army bombs and screaming your names.

After performing Idol, Mic Drop, Rain, Come Back Home and Pied Piper, it was finally time for the last song of concert.

You were saddened by this, but the thought at the back of your head overwhelmed you throughout the entire show.

And the boys have noticed it too.

Taehyung had to quickly pull you away from the end of the stage during Come Back Home, as he noticed that you were walking towards it with no intent of stopping. You might as well say that you gave him a mini heart attack, since you were literally a step away from falling.

Or when Namjoon had to twirl you around and mask your mistake when you nearly tripped over his foot when you guys were singing Pied Piper. Though it could've been interpreted as a simple mistake, during that dance break, you weren't even suppose to be next him. The fact that the rapper nearly messed up because of you made you feel extremely guilty, another thing to add to your extremely long list of things that went wrong today.

With everything going on, you only hoped that you didn't screw up the last song.

For 2!3!, you were sitting between Jungkook and Yoongi. You were hitting the right notes and harmonizing with the boy maknae as you both sang the chorus, Jungkook taking the lead. It also helped that he made sure to hold your hand and interlock it with his.

The boys always knew when something's wrong with you. You don't know if it's because they've raised you since you were fifteen or if it's because you were easy to read, like a open book.

You were doing well until halfway through the song. As it was your turn to sing, you tried to, but the tears just came rushing in as the lyrics hit you hard.

"It's alright, now count 1, 2, 3 and forget Erase all sad memories Hold my hand and smile."

You don't know what happened, but one moment you were smiling and cheering at the fans and the next you lifted up your mic towards the crowd so that they could sing for you.

You look away from them and bit your lip. The more you told yourself not to cry, you felt your tears become heavier and heavier due to the strain on your heart.

Jungkook simply squeezed your hand harder as Yoongi scooted closer to you and used his left arm to pull you in a side hug, you head buried in his shoulder.

You felt fast tears run down your cheeks. You were grateful that the light wasn't shining on you directly, so that the crowd wouldn't see your tears.

Each time Yoongi wouldn't be rapping, he'd turn to your and silently ask if you needed anything.

Though you denied for the most part, he didn't believe you. He saw the tears run down your cheeks, you saw the way your lips trembled each time you buried your face in his shoulder.

He couldn't stop the concert but he couldn't leave you by yourself in this state. So he simply rapped from his spot next you, his hand comfortably running up and down your arm.

You felt Jungkook move closer to you, his grip never leaving your hand. When Yoongi started rapping again, your hues met his.

You saw his heart shatter at the sight of you. You saw his bubbly smile on his face dissipate as soon as he saw your tears.

And when the boy maknae didn't sing his part and instead point his mic towards the crowd, the rest of the boys noticed something was wrong.

You shook your head, wiping the tears from your eyes. You lifted your head when the ending of the song was approaching and put on a smile when you started singing with all the boys.

It was the time for all of you to get up and walk down the stage, and you were grateful when Yoongi left Jungkook to take care of you. Of course, you felt him hesitate on letting you go, but you imagined that the second oldest and the second youngest had a little staring contest, having a silent conversation.

As soon as you got up, Jungkook wrapped an arm around your waist. You looked at him and he sent you a reassuring smile. You felt the lights beam on you and everyone else as you continued walking. You felt the crowd chanting your name, rather you heard them yell and scream it out.

You were sure that you that your eyes were a slight shade of light red and that the tear streaks were evident but you still continued to sing.

As soon as the song ends, Jungkook turns his back on the fans and hugs you. You don't deny it as you wrap you arm around his waist.

He felt the small and quiet sobs wrack your body as you clung onto him tighter. The young maknae looked at his hyungs who were looking at you in concern.

They had no idea why you were crying and they knew it was bad. The last time you cried was when you won your first solo album award O.X.you.G.E.N. Even then you didn't cry, your eyes were only teary.

The only time you've ever cried on stage was when BTS won their first ever award. You were crying and so was everyone else.

So when the boys saw you cry into the young boy's chest, they were taken by surprise.

Jin looked at Yoongi, Namjoon and Hoseok and talked to them whilst the younger ones walked towards you and Jungkook.

"Thank you everyone for coming!" You're guessing that the hyung line are distracting the crowd from your current state.

"Why is she crying?" You heard Jimin ask, and that's when you shook your head. You didn't want to be crying in front of them, you'd settle to crying in your room by yourself but that wasn't the case.

"I don't know..." you felt him rub your back and you imagine the three of them at a lost for words.

You pulled your hands back and wiped the tears from your eyes. You bit you lip, the tears still pouring down.

"He's gone..." you say quietly, to the point where only Taehyung heard it.

The boy look at you, his eyes shining with worry but confusion as well, "who's gone (N/n)..?"

"My brother." You pressed you hand against your mouth, your head pressing against Jungkook's chest. "H-he passed away during intermission..."

"Aw, (N/n)..." you felt someone leave the group to go tell the others as Jungkook leaves your grasp. You felt Jimin's arms wrap around your waist as your back is pressed against his chest.

"Someone pass me my mic." You felt Taehyung give you a knowing look but you still insisted.

You were sure that your eyes were full on red and that your cheeks were wet from the tears you've cried.

Giving you your mic, you laugh into it as you grasp everyone's attention. "Aah~ I don't think you guys were expecting this huh?"

You smile through the pain and anguish. You place your hand on Jimin's hand around your waist, silently thanking him.

"I'm sorry I didn't give you the show you deserved." You sigh into the mic as Taehyung gives you a napkin. You smile softly at him before you look back at the crowd. "I don't think you came here to see this."

A few tears run down your face as you look at the crowd again, "I'm sorry." You cry into the mic, everything crashing onto you. "I'm sorry you guys aren’t getting the best of me. You came hear to see (Stage/name) tonight... I'm sorry I'm not able to give it to you tonight."

You pull the mic away from your mouth, stopping a sob from filling the microphone. You wanted to tell them what was wrong, why you were acting like this, why you weren't at your fullest. You wanted to confess to them your deepest troubles and hidden feelings because away from the cameras and lights, you're still human with real human emotions that cry and laugh the same way others to.

You grip onto Jimin's arm tighter, more tears screaming down your face. You look around the stadium, the fans looking at you as the ARMY bombs start turning purple. "Today is not my strongest day, but you guys... ARMY... you guys give me strength and courage. You guys are the reason I'm here with seven wonderful men I have been blessed with the privilege of calling them my brothers."

A chorus of screams invade the room at the mention of the members, a small grin on your face as you acknowledged the crowd it teary eyes. "The men before you are my family, they are my light and inspiration,the heart... my everything." Your eyes fall on the members of BTS, some of their eyes watering. "So please, love all of them. Give them the love they deserve. Thats my request ARMY. Please. Cherish them as much as I do."

Slowly, you let your arm fall to your side as people chant your name, their ARMY bombs dancing like purple stars in the sky. It's a beautiful sight to see. One by one, each member joins you as you let the tears fall down your cheek, a satisfied grin on your face. You let the men hug you as the crowd keeps cheering your name because you all stand in a line, stargazing the stadium filled with purple stars.

"One star is the beginning of a journey for others."

#bangtanidx #btswriterscollective #bts #bts fic #bts one shot #bts 8th member #female reader #bts x reader

151 notes · View notes