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November 27, 2020 // yearning to create so that i could never let go 

i want to be a writer, a creator

the phantom knocks my door, a hundred times

as i go about my life with a loving pat on my back

that invigorates,

for example say,

the lingering aroma of freshly baked croissants that lay in front of me,

their glazy brown warmth dancing on my calluses,

i wish to devour it, also the time and space that stretches ahead of it

how could i possibly be fair, in describing, this worldly yet divine affair

that i am trying to capture inside my head,

i want it all, forever, like a snow globe in my pocket, 

that has been mine to collect.

the mundane and the eternal,

the magical realism of nature,

it would extend till the universe exists,

but for the time i am here,

let me hoard the touch, the smell

and the swell of love i feel inside my chest.

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Okay, but has anyone else got Halsey’s poetry book? Because I’ve only read about a third of it, and I keep on having to put it down because FUCK she hits so much right on the nose and it hurts, but like in a good way, you know? 

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I’m Still Learning by Halsey
Oh, oh. Yeah. I should be living the dream, but I’m living with a security team. And that ain't gonna change, no. I got a paranoia in me. And you wouldn't believe everything that I seen, no. Coming apart at the seams. And no one around me knows. Who I am, what I’m on, who I’ve hurt and where they’ve gone, I know that I’ve done some wrong. But I’m tryna make it right. To the one I love, bring me around. Get me out right now oh oh. And know that I love you. But I’m still learning to love myself. To love my, to love my, to love my. I’m still learning to love myself. To love my, to love my, to love my, yeah, yeah.
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