started with reigen just chilling but then my mind was going CRAZY thinking about the fanfic I recently read called The Negligible Self by ch_am, IT WAS SUCH AN ALL-CONSUMING JOURNEY, damn, my boy was going through some stuff, I loved it
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Flowers curling from your lungs in interwoven vines
Petals bloom across your tongue like soft exploded mines
A braid of love and longing in the taste of rose and pine
A fatal growth belonging to the want you couldn't hide
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PLEASE someone write a hannahaki Penelope au!!
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something doodled IG
Based on a fic by LittleWhiteFoox on AO3, and it has me in a chokehold rn! The name is too long for me to remember, but I like calling it "Pavitr You Dumbass!"
Yeah, Pav is out of my memory so not 100% accurate
Btw, @bestbouy
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Would you look at that? An angsty fic. I've never written one of those.
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Hanakai is a weird fictional disease for mostly angst.
it is quite gross so I hope this readmore works
Person A gets feelings for person B and if A doesn't confess their feelings to B their lungs slowly grow flowers. I think normally roses.
But even if A confesses to B, if B doesn't or can't feel the same way, A just dies or needs the flowers removed in surgery. But surgery also removes all the memories of B in A's mind.
It's so fucking stupid and is only around lovey-dovey secrets and my aroace butt won't accept it. I'm glad alternate ideas of this concept can make it less angsty and not always around love
But also, a disease that can't really let you hold back intense secrets is also a bit shitty to me. I am a fluff lover and this concept makes me uncomfy
oHHHHH that makes sense !!
the idea is interesting, but I dont honestly think theres much appeal for me lmao
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— crocus ; &. the love lies bleeding.
⚔️ // “. . .”
byleth found herself staring blankly at the overcast sky. white flecks of snow slowly drifted down and landed on her cheeks , caught in her hair , covered a thin , white layer of frost over her clothes and the flowers that stubbornly bloomed there. but at least it was not rain.
so , it would have been a year ago now. . . . or . . . no. six years , byleth supposed. even still , it felt like yesterday that the sky had clouded grey , like this. the heavens had wept just as she had wept. the world had fallen apart as byleth felt the life drain away from her father’s pale and still form , leaving behind only a corpse.
even now , her own chest grew TIGHT.
her eyes stung with the swell of tears.
back then , a WAILING had torn through her entire body and she’d wished —
( don’t go a marigold sprouted in her palm.
take me with you - cypress at her wrist , just above the vein.
i still need you. — don’t leave me. )
. . . i love you. motherwart
across the chest.
blooming from the scar that marked
a heart that didn’t - couldn’t beat.
it was her fault. losing jeralt. and sothis after him. and all of the lives she had lost in between. all because of her foolish desire to smite down the woman who had stolen her father away. who had taken him well before his time.
another flower sprouted. this one , a pale , six petaled bloom with a thin red vein bleeding down the middle. the petals fell around the tips of her ears. another flower bloomed to match. both delicately centered on each side.
would only that she bore a crown of thorns to match this terrible , skull-splitting ache.
sothis had called his death fate.
... their union , too , was fate.
( and for what? for what? )
byleth’s fingers unfurled and she raised her hand in the air. snowflakes danced around her still form and settled into the enlightened one’s palm. drifting , settling , melting , gone. all save for upon the marigold that stubbornly stayed. ( for the truth of it all lingered. gold in the silver snow. )
byleth watched as the pale green of her veins underneath her reddened skin flourished into vines that spread across her wrists and arms , and wound through the gaps in her fingers. CHOKED upon the wordless wailing that clawed even now at her throat , and clenched her jaw against the weight of a new pain lodging squarely there. as the vines spread alongside motherwart and cypress , asphodel and marigold , byleth coughed up the long red blooms that had lodged within.
body bent , crooked , spitting red flowers and blood into the snow.
( for there was no grave to place any flowers upon. )
enlightened one , whose fingers trembled , whose body shook , twisted and laden with vines and flowers , exhaled the shudder in her. stood , still , before lifting her flower-crowned head towards the sky where it did not rain. it snowed.
she squared her shoulders.
steeled herself.
struggled , against the roots that anchored her feet in place to this meadow of dead things and purple crocus. braced , as she stumbled free and turned back towards the main road.
stepped away from where her love lay bleeding.
grit her teeth in silent lament for the words she would never get to say.
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🌹
for every “🌹” received in my inbox i’ll post one random sentence of a random WIP i’m currently writing
For you, my friend, I hand you Such Suffocating Sweetness
I haven't touched this since march 2019.
Wiping his mouth to get rid of some stray petals, Josh tries to smile. It falls flat.
“Hey, at least I’m already dead, right? What can a little Hanahaki do to a dead person?”
A lot, he doesn’t say. Agony that won’t, can’t end from death, because the flowers growing and choking your lungs don’t have to stop, not if you don’t need air to survive, not if you don’t try to cure it.
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Attack against Croia Mourning for homesvck!!
I’m gonna use this brush to shade more often… it’s so pleasing
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@hyper-voice found a few flowers:
SEND 🌸 - FOR MY MUSES’ REACTION TO YOUR MUSE COUGHING UP FLOWER PETALS IN FRONT OF MINE. (HANAHAKI DISEASE)
❦ That day they had all gathered in Wyndon for a final hurrah; a farewell to the league as it was and a cheer for its rebirth. It was congratulatory, bitter sweet, and welcoming; bundled between supportive tips to their new members and recounting those moments in this long career which they all shared. It was a small get together, a private thing to be shared among the gym leaders and their champions in order to put behind them the shadow of this latest darkest day.
And sure, it wouldn’t depart with a flick of the wrist, but being among friends and being reminded of the support they shared certainly would help.
Milo had lingered late into their party. He had wanted to make sure everyone would be alright. Many were still healing or even just processing their hectic circumstances, so it paid to be watchful for whosoever might need him. He drank sparingly and contently observed more than he spoke that evening. He helped call a cab to Gordie after the fellow had dazedly said his goodbyes and stumbled out after one too many drinks. He wished a good night to Allister and Bea as they called in an early night and took their leave back home together. He promised Nessa a match first thing this upcoming season, to set the right foot forward in this new league.
And Milo also was the first to take note when Piers broke away from their thinning party.
The man had been pale - at least more than usual - and habitually coughed around something that had seemed lodged in his throat. The musician had been visibly fighting around the obstruction in these wet, wheezy breaths when he’d taken his leave as quietly as he could and Milo decided it was high time he take a moment to look after his friend. He’d followed Piers outside into the brisk Wyndon night, only to find him bent over next to a lamp post, body wracked in a vicious cough. “Piers!” Milo called, quickening his steps to take a place at the punk’s side. He rested an open hand over Piers’s back, held his shoulder gently in the other, and tried to urge the other to straighten a bit. “This cough you’ve got is only getting worse. You ought to take a-”
The farmer never finished his thoughts. Cupped in Piers’s hands, between spittle and the faintest hint of blood droplets, were the velvety petals of a carnation. Pink, lively, infuriatingly bright.
Milo froze. He stared at the remnants of the blooms, likely growing deep within Piers’s lungs and heart, and shuddered with dread. “... Come on, let’s get you a place to sit.” The farmer spoke firmly, accepting no rebuttal. He would not be leaving the musician be in such a bitingly cold night. Not after the revelation those flowers offered.
“Let’s sit and talk a bit.”
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𝐝𝐥𝐦𝐥𝐮 (𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝) . .
. . you have hanahaki, a severe case of shyness, and a crush on scaramouche, and scaramouche is an absolute jerk.
// tws ; blood ; gn reader ; hanahaki & modern au ; slight cursing
a/n: first time posting here yippee (pls be nice)
you sobbed, heaving up stupid yellow carnations while sitting on the cold, hard floor of the school bathroom.
you wretched up the damned flowers. they fell ungracefully into the toilet which sat in front of you.
your knees hurt from sitting on them for so long.
if only you could tell him how you felt. it would finally all be over, one way or another. maybe with your feelings being requited.
or maybe with you choking to death, the only thing with you while you die being the stupid fucking flowers.
you coughed again, pale yellow petals fluttering to the ground elegantly.
it was a stark contrast to how, just moments after that, you were coughing your lungs out, flowers flopping down into the toilet in large clumps; stuck together by mucus and blood.
you wheezed and wheezed and wheezed until it felt like there was nothing left in your lungs and your throat was burning and your knees were bruised.
you sobbed and sobbed and sobbed until there were no more tears left.
you coughed and coughed and coughed to the point you thought maybe just dying would be better than this fucking hell.
you curled into a ball, crying. crystalline tears ran down your cheeks, falling onto your clothes, the ground, anything.
if only you could fucking talk. why were you like this? why were you fine with your friends, but so terrified to talk to anyone? to everyone?
to him?
maybe, just maybe, if you were different you wouldn’t be in this situation.
if only you weren’t so pathetic, so stupid, so scared.
you hated yourself. you hated yourself so, so much. who the fuck was this terrified to talk to people, but opened up so easily once others talked to them?
maybe you should just confess and get it all over with.
—
you opted to just give him a letter anonymously.
who knew if he would even read it? he received dozens of confessions everyday.
even if he did read it, it couldn’t be that bad, right?
—
if you could, you would eat up your words.
it was much, much worse than you thought.
he had ripped open the envelope, immediately reading the letter with a scowl.
he wasn’t even halfway through when he burst out laughing.
”what the fuck is this?” he snickered, holding onto his locker so he wouldn’t fall from how hard he was laughing.
”what pathetic fucking weirdo confesses from an anonymous letter? are they too terrified to say it to my fuckin’ face?”
he continued reading the letter.
when he was done, he crumpled it up and threw it away behind him, still laughing.
”that’s so goddamn stupid.”
unfortunately, the crumpled up letter hit you on your head.
not embarrassing, right?
well, it wasn’t until scaramouche saw it had hit you.
”oh, sorry,” he exclaimed in a voice dripping with mock sweetness.
”didn’t see you there.”
it would’ve been fine until his next comment, which you unfortunately overheard.
”these dumb fucking bitches. they’re so stupid, can’t even move out of the way. what are they, blind?” he muttered under his breath, tone condescending.
you burst into tears right then and there, unable to stop the overflow of emotions.
you walked away as quick as you could, wanting to kill yourself right there.
”so emotional, and over what?”
his laugh rang down the hallway, following and taunting you.
—
you don’t know what had come over you that day. before that you had always tried to keep your emotions in check, always tried to stop the tears from coming out in front of people you didn't know.
maybe hearing your crush degrade and insult you had just struck a chord or something.
—
weak coughs wracked your frail body, using up the little energy you had left.
you were on your death bed (quite literally! you were laying on your bed while dying).
honey yellow flowers surrounded you, their sickly sweet scent making you feel nauseous.
you choked up another batch of the flaxen flowers, watching them flop forward onto your bed sheets, staining them a dull crimson because of the blood on them.
with half lidded eyes, you stared at the carnations. your mind was hazy, and your vision blurred.
if you recalled correctly, they symbolized disdain and rejection.
how fitting.
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♣ I want to draw a hanahaki piece but I don't really know how I want it to look or really even what flowers to use so I'm just sitting here thinking about it
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I love hanahaki aus but somehow if i draw characters like that its always yellow/blue forget-me-nots/daffodils parallels
just wanted a nice picture of them with a bit of angst, as usual?
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Catch my breath Part 2: sprout page 7
Tw: Steve low key talking about unaliving…it is not explicit suicidal ideation but Please skip this page if you’re no okay with this theme!!!
Basically Eddie assumes that’s what he means when he says “give up” which Ed’s isn’t wrong but Steve doesn’t admit that yet.
Me forever projecting onto Steve with my awful mental health from high school 😘
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Happy Monday! Only one page because the weather here is gross and rainy. I also impulsively cut my hair but it actually turned out great so slay!
Full comic
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Y’all know shovel talks, right? The whole “hurt them and I/we will hurt you” type of thing, most commonly against a romantic interest by the family/friends of the person in question?
Now think about that, but reverse
Romantic partner/interest low-key or even high-key threatening family members of the person in question
NOW imagine Poppy being 20% more unhinged/feral (and Branch revealing a bit about his brothers earlier, how they abandoned him and stuff)
I want you to imagine sweet Poppy, Queen of the happy-go-lucky Pop Trolls, casually showing off the knuckledusters she stole got from Branch in the second movie, just to her friends or to Viva, gushing about how her sweet boyfriend let her keep this very useful and pretty weapon, in front of his brothers
…Way too excited to write unhinged/protective Poppy for my Hanahaki fic fr
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