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#hanky spanky
elkenbulwark · 3 months
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[ scars ] a gentle kiss on the partner's scar(s) - because what if she kissed THOSE scars...
He hadn't been lying when he'd told her there wasn't much to be felt in the scar tissue trailing the bending point of his back. Granted, when one's lashes were languished with a practiced hand upon an area that grew quite rapidly in the sense that half-orcs literally doubled in size from the short range between thirteen and fourteen years, it was to be expected that some scars snaked up or down the main area of impact, and with the stray strands came slivers of areas that still flinched upon the feeling of pressure nearby- soft or sweet as it was.
Having been resting on his stomach upon a borrowed (well, more like commandeered-) bedroll, Birvor had just about relaxed enough into his frame that the signs of constant straining via the creases of flesh about his shoulders and flanks seemed just about smooth compared to their usual pug-like consistency. Of course when he felt the sudden jolt her lips dragging up from dead nerves to the surrounding isolated patches of blue amongst muddy mauve, every wrinkle returned as he tensed under the gesture and squeezed the pillow under his jaw with a practiced force needed to withstand another hit.
"OI-" He huffed, attempting to hide the hardening of his hide by rolling halfway over to bear the firmness of the ground on his flank despite her insistence on working more knots out of his back. "You're wastin' your time on that mess...much as the title suites the whole lot've me-" An offhanded grumble later, he tipped his head to find the glow of her gaze in the darkness of the tent, his reflective light from poorer dark vision a shade duller.
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i8i8t · 2 years
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Biggy Pank
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CHARLIE I WILL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE WORLD
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"AND I WILL WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS EVERY TIME, AND EAT EVERY SINGLE PAIR OF SHOES YOU OWN!"
"I WILL THEN GRAB YOU AND THROW YOU INTO THE BLAZING INFERONO THAT IS THE FOREVER BURNING WEED AND TIRE FIRE OF IDAHO NEW JERSEY!"
"YOU WILL NEVER PERISH, BUT YOU WILL COME OUT BURNT WITH RUBBER AND SMELLING LIKE THAT HANKY SPANKY, THAT MARY JANE, THAT DIPPY DOTS KUSH!"
"YOU CAN CHASE ME ALL YOU WANT, BUT IN THIS WAR I AM THE WINNER EVERY TIME!"
"OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!!!!!"
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rottenraccoons · 1 year
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Oh Tumblr, my beloved hellsite <3
One of you lovely nonnies asked us here at Rotten Raccoons if we would be willing to introduce ourselves and we drafted up a lovely little introduction post, queued it, and then the queue ate the post. So here's attempt #2 to introduce ourselves with who we are, what we do, and which Obscura boi is our fave ❤️
Hello hello, I'm Tobi, the one behind Cirrus and Francesco's routes! I do the writing and scripting for them with occasional assistance from Violet. Is hard to choose a favorite but [redacted] does make me swoon. And admittedly I have a soft spot for my own sadistic creation, heheh
Hi, I'm Yamiochi🦝 mostly handling business, accounting side of Rotten Raccoons. My favourite is Cirrus. I can't hide the Gap Moe(��ャップ萌え)between the perfect clergyman's appearance and that personality. Besides that, silver/white hair + long hair characters are my personal favourites.
Hello! I'm Ræ! (pronounced R-eye), I'm the project planner and junior BG artist at Rotten Raccoons. All of our boys are great, aren't they? I especially adore the spunky types, so Kier makes my heart pitter patter. Also his freckles… so cute!
Howdy! I'm Mugi, the lead artist 👩‍🎨✨ I think most people already know, but my fave boi is Cirrus. He's beautiful, he's charming, he's... Spicy 🔥 Of course I love all of our bois in their own unique ways 💖
I'm Cajsa and I'm the music/audio person 🪗 I'm a sucker for Cirrus. I'm not sure how I feel about the hanky spanky but when he gives me that vicious smile I might just agree to anything......
And I'm Violet! I write Keir and [redacted]'s routes and finagle with the code to make the game go brrrr. I'm also the social media raccoon, so I'm technically the one writing most of the stuff you see on Twitter and Tumblr. I try not to play favourites with the boys, but also the first time I saw Francesco's design I died and went to heaven, and I love me a polite young man, and he blushes so good... Yeah.
And a little bonus: one time I asked DALL-E to draw me a vintage movie poster with six raccoons in a trenchcoat. It didn't really understand what I was asking, but honestly
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this kicks ass. This is how I imagine us all the time now.
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thegreatgrumbolia · 2 months
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1940's Canadian hockey really was just the place to have a nickname like "Randy Dandy Hanky Spanky" and have nobody bat an eye.
To be Rindly Dindly, or Dipsy-Doodle-Dandy.
This is not to say that current hockey nickname nomenclature is in any way inferior, quite the opposite.
It's just that the vibes have shifted.
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Happy womb eviction day!
oh my goodness XD thanky spanky hanky
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the-wayside · 1 year
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The universe really saw how my week went - in between mentally losing it I fucked up at work twice which was fun - and said, let there be light.
I'm so much in credit for my rent I'm getting a reduction till April and I'll have an extra $300 in my pocket. Maybe I can finally get that hanky panky spanky new TV for my living room.
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theteasetwrites · 2 years
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lmaoo, that anon about the hanky spanky between Daryl and reader when they're both in their 30/40s lol. don't get me wrong, I LOVE me some good smut scenes between the two in the beginning universe I too wonder how they manage to do it.
I do think reader has a bit more tolerance just because she's, what? around he mid 30s at most which isn't bad or anything while Daryl, yes he's in his 40s but he's also pushing almost 50 BUT he too still has stamina in him lol. + I have to give them credit because if they can kickass and kill walkers at their age, they're definitely ok to have some hanky panky here and there lol.
Lol yeah I mean I’m sure Daryl has some issues… getting hard sometimes (which is actually something I want to write about… maybe I’ll do it in The Beginning universe where Daryl is kinda having a mental meltdown because he can’t get hard as easily as he used to lmao) but for the most part I like to think that a) they love each other very much, b) they live in a very uncertain world where they could lose each other at pretty much any minute, and c) it’s fanfiction so if I want them to have a lot of sex I will lmao 😂
And you are correct—in The Beginning universe, Daryl is approximately 47 in season 11, and reader is approximately 35 (yes they have an age gap lol but I don’t really focus on it ever because it’s not very important to their relationship—reader was a full on adult in her mid-20s when she met Daryl so I think it’s fine). And yeah like you said, they both have a lot of stamina so it’s conceivable that they would have an active sex life I think? Idk but all I know is they are probably not having a ton of sex right now because reader is pregnant for one thing and Daryl is always busy doing his commonwealth police stuff. Plus they live with three (3) children. Not a lot of time for sex rn unfortunately 😔 hopefully things will calm down after season 11? Idk everything is up in the air rn. I’m still not sure if I am going to make the spin-off canon in my series or not.
Thank you 😊💗
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d3vilh0rn2 · 8 months
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hanky panky spanky
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booglz · 9 months
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Nsfw A-Z Hank Headcanons
.+*
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*+.
A=Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
He’s more cuddles than all the romance lovey-dovey shit. This is an old man and he just wants to chill, watch a movie with you cuddled up to his chest. He’s not going to feed you chocolate dipped strawberry’s and bring you white wine so don’t expect him to if that’s what you want.
B=Body Part(They’re favorite body part of yours and theirs)
This ol’ perv fucking LOVES your ass. He goes crazy for it. He smacks it in public, and private, and oh, god, reverse cowgirl drives him up the wall. The smacking noises, the ripple and shine of your sweaty skin as you drive him inside of you makes him go ape shit. But, besides that; his favorite part of his body is probably his hands. He can get a lot done with them suckers. Track down deviants, write nine essays worth of work documents, finger fuck the shit out of you, yk; the basics.
C=Cum(Anything to do with cum, basically)
He prefers to cum on your stomach and thighs, though his swimmers are basically dead, he just loves seeing you covered with his love. That doesn’t mean he won’t ram himself inside of you at times and fill you up, but it’s not usually. When he makes you cum, he aims to make you squirt. When he’s on his knees with you sitting on the bed, his fingers going sonic speed and his eyes glaring up at you as he.. begged? Something you wouldn’t usually expect from him.
“Come on, do it, I want to see it. Do it for me, now.” And when you do squirt, you shriek and wrap your thighs around his head and he finally puts that tongue on you, beard scratching your thighs as he took in your powerful release.
D=Dirty Secret(Self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
I feel like hank secretly loves that your younger than him. Definitely not in like a creepy pedo way, but in a way he thinks it’s hot you want to be with such an older man and your body is just so.. idk, pure? Only god knows, he just fucking adores it.
E=Experience(How experienced are they?)
Shit, he’s better than most. After all he was married for a few years before he found you. He’s skilled just about everything you can imagine, everything normal at least. He wasn’t really very experienced in the kinky stuff before you started teaching him. Hell, he had only done doggy style once in his life before he met you. Let’s just say he had a lot to learn even though he knew quite a lot.
F=Favorite Position(Their favorite position to do the hanky spanky in)
Like before, reverse cowgirl is definitely at the top of his list but it’s not the one that has won his heart. He personally loves missionary, as bland as it is, he just loves seeing your face and seeing what he does to you. As stubborn as he is, he loves the fuck out of you and sometimes just wants to make love and please you.
G=Goofy(Are they serious during sex? Do they joke around?)
He’s pretty serious but that doesn’t mean he won’t throw in a few one second jokes in.
“God! Don’t stop!”
“What, did you think I would?”
Or smth like
“Oh, that feels so good!”
“Great, that was my goal.”
Cocky motherfucker
H=Hair(Do the carpets match the drapes, do they shave, etc)
Now tell me why the fuck would he ever worry about that. He thinks shaving is a waste of time and that it makes it look weird when men do. He’s not the hairiest person you’ve ever met but he’s not exactly smooth. He has a pretty nice happy trail that starts at his belly button and he loves when you kiss down it. Carpets do indeed match the drapes.
I=Intimacy(How romantic are they?)
God if you want him romantic while he’s on top of you, you’ll get romantic. He wont throw rose petals on the bed but he will do everything in his power to show you he cares. No, no, like before he’s not going to do the honey moon type romantic, he thinks that shits stupid but when he is loving on you, it’s the definition of intimate. Praise is never endless and his moans intensify.
“Fuckkk… shit that’s it, baby..”
“God! Fucking hell! Shit, shit, shit..”
Godddd, I want to fuck this grandpa
J=Jerk off(Masturbation Headcanons)
Usually Hank doesn’t generally need to do this because he always has you around andddd- just never has the need to? He’s not a horny teenager, he wouldn’t go beat one off in the guys bathroom sorry about that.
K=Kink(One or two of their kinks)
Hank is kind of.. Bland. He isn’t really kinky to be honest, but shit, he can be rough. He grips your hips so tight they turn purple and your inner thighs will be sore after he’s done with you, be prepared.
L=Location(Their favorite place to do the do)
I feel like hank is a car guy. He just radiates that feeling of throwing you into the back seat and fucking you till you can’t speak no more. He loves his car, and he loves you even more so when those are combined he goes bananas. I think it’ll all start when you both are at an investigation. He just can’t stand the way you keep bending over in those tight pants to just look at a piece of evidence. He’ll end up dragging you aside and telling you “Backseat, now.” Who’s one to deny the poor man?
M=Motivation(What gets them going/ turns them on?)
Oh my goodness. It gets him so worked up when you’re all shy. Covering your face, with your hands, closing your thighs when his hands glide up inside them, putting a hand over your mouth to seal your moans, all of that makes him so obsessed.
N=No(What turns them off?)
He definitely doesn’t like being submissive, fucking you while your drunk/asleep or in any way you couldn’t consent, anal/pegging, or anything like bdsm and all the weird fetishes.
O=Oral(They’re preferences and skill on giving and receiving oral)
I feel like he definitely prefers receiving but nothing is better than stuffing his head between your thighs and going to town. When he is eating you out, his beard just adds to the friction and that big ol’ honker presses against your clit as he fucks you with his tongue. But, when It comes to him receiving, just be ready for your throat to feel like hell. He doesn’t hold back one bit, his hands pull at your hair, fucking your mouth till tears roll down your face and when he does cum, it’s all or nothing, he fills up your mouth it’s practically seeping out around your lips.
“Shit, Baby, I’m sorry..I didn’t mean to be that rough” he apologized almost immediately when he saw you rub your throat.
P=Pace(Are they fast, rough, gentle, slow?)
I’d say he’s a fast-gentle kind of guy. He isn’t really ever slow unless you two are making love but slow doesn’t exist with a needy Hank. He’ll be tugging off your jeans sloppily, as he spread wet kisses on your collar bones as you leaned against your desk in the middle of the empty DPD Station.
Q=Quickie(Their opinions on quickies, do they like them,do they happen often)
I wouldn’t say they happen often but they do definitely happen. When they do, it’s quick, messy and so. good. They’re always the fucking best when it’s with hank, he has something with quickies that makes it feel like you entered heaven.
R=Risk(Are they game to take risks?)
Yeah, if it’s not too much. He doesn’t do anything that will cause you pain or make you uncomfortable. He makes sure he has tons and tons of consent before he tries something out.
S=Stamina(How long do they last? How many rounds?)
He lasts surprisingly long enough for a man of his age. Maybe around 5-6 minutes, sometimes 4 depending on how eager he was before. Sorry to say but Hank can only do one round, unless it was a quickie, he doesn’t have the energy to get up and do that again, he’d rather cuddle.
T=Toys(Do they own sex toys? Do they use them on themselves or a partner?)
Um, no.
U=Unfair(Do they enjoy teasing or being teased/ edged etc)
Not as much as you think he would. He enjoys to know you’re feeling good, he gets guilty as shit when he sees you whine and sob at your unfinished orgasm. Hank does NOT like being edged don’t do it.
V=Volume(Are they loud? Do they moan often or conceal them?)
He’s straight forward, he doesn’t get embarrassed or anything by showing you that he feels good. He lets out the sexiest grunts and groans, his head tipping back just about every time.
W=Wildcard (A random Head canon for the character)
Hank doesn’t believe you have to dress all up for him. Like lingerie, doing your hair or makeup, shaving, he just likes you the way you are and wants to love you how you are.
X=X-Ray(What’s goin on under those pants?)
I wouldn’t say he’s huge but he definitely is big. He’s very girthy and has two large veins that go up each side of his length. He’s very sensitive on the bottom underside of his cock, his eyes rolling back as soon as you touch him there
Y=Yearning(Do they crave you often? Do they have a high sex drive?)
No, he’s not 20 anymore but at least once in a week he’ll have to be inside of you. A quick few nips to your neck and you’ll know.
Z=Zzz(How quickly do they fall asleep after?)
Phew, out like a light. I haven’t seen a man sleep quicker. Once he pulls out and takes care of you, he curls up and places his head on your chest and OUT.
___
Jeez that took longer for me to write buttttttt I hope u liked it🙏🏻
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whataweekmixtape · 9 months
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WHAT A WEEK NUMBER FIVE
Listen here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/168MYyRcVzIsyRrj6zWbD3?si=ba17ae19fc334097
Noah Floersch - Long Gone
Rubblebucket - Cherry Blossom
Miss Atlas - Only One
Yuma Abe - Fantasia
Caroline Rose - Stockholm Syndrome
Girl Scout - Do You Remember Sally Moore?
Ben Special - My HSM (Hanky Spanky Man)
Elan Noon - Incorrigįble Youth
Foyer Red - Unwaxed Flavored Floss
Grandmas House - How Does It Feel?
Coach Party - Micro Aggression
Guardian Singles - Chad and Stacey
feeble little horse - Too Much
Kate Davis - Consequences
Mitski - Bug Like an Angel
The Cranberries - Dreams
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golf40 · 1 year
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Hanky Spanky
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art-full-dodger · 2 years
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PRIVATE DANCER FOR FREDRICK....I WILL MAKE HIM SHREAK.......... HOW ABOUT SOME HANKY PANKY I WILL GIVE HIM A GOOD SPANKY..... SINDY BARBIE....💋💋💋 (at French Rivera , Mediterranean) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cc4AeQRjOlP/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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This is a biker gang I could get comfortable with.
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alexc1ting · 4 years
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Mirror Mirror, on the wall~ Who gets spanked, after this call~
WE BOTH KNOW
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beatlepaul4ever · 3 years
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“Don’t poke me with your big stiff pole, or I’ll bash your head like I did John’s!”
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