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moonlinos · 2 months

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It would’ve been sweet if it could’ve been me

♡ Pairing: Bang Chan × fem!reader

♡ Genre: Single dad!Chan, friends to strangers to lovers

♡ CW: Explicit sexual content (minors dni!), mentions of parental guilt, themes of loneliness, Chan is stuck in the past, lying, mentions of feeling lost in life, story spans over a number of years, nipple play, oral sex (male receiving), unprotected sex, creampie

♡ Word count: 8.2k

♡ Synopsis: Being a single dad to Hyerin is all Chan has known for the past four years. He and his ex-girlfriend reached an agreement that saw her going off to live a life she had always dreamed of while he was left with a life of loneliness, which he endured with a smile on his face for his daughter. A small gleam of hope seems to appear in his life in the shape of you. But hiding himself under a haze of lies seems to be his only option if he ever wants to keep you.

♡ A/N: Based off a request by anon! Thank you for requesting, this was so much fun to write 🩷 I will admit this is a lot more focused on Chan as a character than I originally wanted it to be, and I kinda went a bit crazy with the plot, but I hope you still like it! The song Chan sings to Hyerin is Little Star by Standing Egg 💗

Every day in Chan’s life is a monotonous, never-ending cycle. Like watching reruns of bad TV shows on gloomy Sunday nights, every second of his past and upcoming days is etched into his mind like a quilt of mundane tasks and repetitive moments.

But that wasn’t always the case.

Once, excitement filled his every waking moment. His weekends were a whirlwind of new places teeming with bustling crowds and unfamiliar faces who became fast friends. During his university years, he and his friends lived their lives with ardor, savoring every moment as if it could be their last. His days were filled with an array of unplanned parties and impromptu trips which brought a kaleidoscope of color to his life.

Until he met Dana.

He was about to graduate, and she swept into his life like a hurricane — flipping everything upside down before disappearing just as quickly, with only destruction and ashes remaining in her wake.

He was infatuated; she was bored. That was clear from the start, but Chan was too blinded by affection to be concerned with such a minute detail. So long as he got to have her by his side, he was happy. Their relationship lasted a year, yet it changed his life forever.

He was twenty-one when Dana announced her pregnancy. On his twenty-second birthday, she told him she didn’t want to be a mother.

By that point in his life, Chan had already forsaken everything he had for her. He turned his back on his old friends, the vibrant life he once led, and everything that once made him who he was. Without Dana, he would be left with nothing but the ugly reflection of his self-destructive choices made in the name of a loveless love.

And so, they came to an agreement. Dana would leave — that had been her plan from the start, anyway — but she would leave Chan with a small piece of their story.

Hyerin was born on November 20th, 2019.

Dana left on a plane to New York City on December 1st.

Now, the only speck of color in his life is Hyerin. In the four years Chan has been lucky enough to be her dad, he has found she is much more than simply a reminder of Dana or what could have been between them. Hyerin is his entire world. She is the love he’s unknowingly been searching for his whole life, and he would sacrifice every last bit of himself to make sure she only ever knows happiness.

They live a quiet life, with Chan working a less-than-fulfilling corporate job and spending all his free time with her. He sometimes allows himself to wonder what happened to his old friends — did they all eventually settle for the mundanity of adult life, or are they still chasing an endless thrill? But he never dwells on it too much. The sweet memories of his early twenties are now nothing more than a comforting escape when the weight of loneliness becomes too overwhelming.

Today is one of those days. A late Friday night after his shift, Chan sprawled on his couch with Jisung, a co-worker who became his first friend after many years, a silly smile on his face as he reminisced about a trip to Jeju in his sophomore year of college. This is how he lives most of his life; when he’s not in the present with Hyerin, he’s stuck in the past.

How could he not be stuck in the past? So many people he loved and memories he cherished were there.

“I don’t get how you just left all of that behind for someone,” Jisung scoffs, loosening his tie. “Why couldn’t she just join your group of friends?”

“It’s complicated,” Chan sighs, eyes wandering toward Hyerin’s bedroom door for the umpteenth time to make sure she’s still sleeping soundly. When he turns to look back at Jisung, his expression prompts him to elaborate. “What? You want the whole story?”

Jisung shrugs. “It’s not like we have any other plans for tonight.”

“Well, there was this girl in my friend group. We hooked up a lot, but our relationship went beyond that,” Chan explains, fingers tapping his thighs as the memories flood his mind. It was a sore topic, one he certainly didn’t enjoy remembering. “We never dated, but Dana was jealous, and I couldn’t blame her. Me and this girl were… very close. I couldn’t be in a relationship while also being that close to her, but I also couldn’t imagine us being only friends. So it was easier to walk away.”

Chan conveniently leaves out the fact that he walked away because an artificial love strangely provided solace for his heart, unlike the searing torment of unrequited love, which engulfed him like molten lava.

“And that was the last time you ever had that type of relationship with anyone?”

“With Dana? Yeah—”

“Hyung, you know what I mean. You told me yourself Dana didn’t love you,” Jisung points out. “I mean this other girl.”

Chan shrugs dismissively. “I guess, yeah. Doesn’t matter, though.”

And Jisung scoffs loudly at his words, rubbing his forehead with a sigh. Memories of that love flood Chan’s mind, and he's ready to let them sweep him away when Jisung abruptly turns so he sits facing him, resolve swimming in his eyes.

“Give me your phone,” his loud voice reverberates through the small apartment, prompting Chan to shush him with a stern look. “Give me your phone,” Jisung repeats himself with a harsh whisper.

Chan rolls his eyes but ultimately smiles at his friend. He retrieves his phone from the end table, handing it to a much too enthusiastic Jisung. “The password is Hyerin’s birthday,” he tells him, albeit a bit apprehensive.

He watches amusedly as Jisung types away at his own phone before doing the same on his, handing him the device with a grin tugging at the corner of his lips.

“What did you do, you little menace?” Chan questions the younger boy, narrowing his eyes. Jisung simply shrugs.

“I got you a date tomorrow. Thank me later.”

Chan immediately sits up on the couch, eyes darting toward his phone screen. A chat with a single message from him to an unknown contact makes him question his entire friendship with Jisung.

Me: I’m your date for tomorrow 😉

Me: O’neul restaurant, 6 pm. See you there, cutie

“Jisung, what the fuck?”

“What?” His friend asks between giggles. “Sora has this friend she said desperately needs a date, and I have you in the same situation,” he explains, clearly proud of himself. “I just did you both a favor while also getting boyfriend points.”

Chan’s eyes shift toward his phone once more, inwardly cringing at the messages with a heavy sigh.

“And was making me sound this creepy necessary?”

Jisung waves his hand dismissively. “Nah, that was just a little treat for me.”

“And why the fuck is her name Mystery Girl?” Chan queries, the irritation making him unknowingly raise his voice.

“It’s a blind date,” his friend explains. “This girl’s apparently super picky, kept turning down every guy Sora suggested. So, she came up with this solution. Can’t turn you down if she doesn’t know what you look like.”

Chan groans, ultimately sinking back onto the couch with a defeated sigh. Jisung was trying to be a good friend, he knew that, but he wasn’t at all thrilled with the prospect of a date. Not only did he not want one, but he also had no time for such a futile thing. He had Hyerin, and she was the sole reason for his existence. He didn’t need anyone meddling in their little world. But he didn’t have the courage to tell Jisung that.

It would be a lie to say the past four years weren’t lonesome. Falling asleep alone in a cold, empty bed was a sorrow he had simply grown numb to. Yet, he still yearned to have someone to share the grapples of routine life with, someone whose presence alone would effortlessly diminish his worries, someone he could make love to before falling asleep and waking up intertwined.

But he couldn’t afford to have that.

At least this date was bound to fail; the woman’s demanding nature, coupled with Chan’s unwillingness to even be there in the first place sure to make their wasted time brief.

Just as he’s about to grumble about the messages again, Hyerin comes stumbling out of her room, her small feet shuffling against the floor as she rubs her sleepy eyes.

“Oh, honey, were we being too loud?” Chan asks sweetly, and his eyes discreetly shoot daggers at Jisung, who mouths an apology.

Hyerin firmly shakes her head, the crooked pigtails Chan clumsily had tied this morning coming undone as she does so. He smiles at her, propping his elbows on his knees and waiting for her to speak her little mind.

“I had a dream,” she mumbles. “With a dragon.”

Chan gasps, hands wrapping around her tiny frame and picking her up before walking toward her room. It took him some time, but he ultimately learned that it’s best to ease her back into bed while she’s distracted, lest she throws a tantrum.

“And was it a nice dragon?” He asks. Hyerin giggles, and Chan is positive that the sound has the power to light up even his most somber days.

“Of course it was a nice dragon, daddy,” she tells him. “You said I only have nice dreams ‘cause my mind is pretty, remember?”

Chan nods as he gently tucks her back into bed, triple-checking that she is comfortable and warm. “Of course, of course. How could I forget?” He slaps a hand on his forehead with a sigh. “Hyerinnie has the prettiest mind. It can only make up pretty things.”

Hyerin smiles at him, tugging her blanket close to her chin, her doe eyes already heavy with sleep and blinking languidly. Chan asks her the same question he does every night, although the answer remains unchanging every time: would she like him to sing to her? She drowsily tells him she wants to hear him sing her favorite song, Little Star.

Chan promptly gets under the covers beside her — Hyerin pouting and whining about how he’s stealing her blanket for himself, to which he can’t help the hearty laugh that escapes his lips. Since turning four, she’s developed quite a strong personality that Chan soon finds he adores, much like everything about her.

He turns on his side to watch her features as he sings; her nose and mouth so similar to his, and the way she furrows her brows while falling asleep mirrors his own habits. Chan might not be a happy man in his job or his personal life, but the boundless happiness his little gift provides him surpasses anything else he could wish for. Every now and then, he finds himself wanting more, but it’s not long before he realizes he already has everything he needs.

Chan goes over his rather extensive list of how to care for Hyerin with Jisung for the tenth time that evening, making sure the younger man knows what to do in any situation that could arise in the couple hours he’ll be gone. Hyerin is the one to usher him out of the apartment, assuring him she’ll be fine with her uncle Han, and Chan has to stop himself from wallowing over the fact that his once tiny baby is rapidly blossoming into a young kid.

He made no real effort to dress for his date; a simple button-up shirt and jeans served him just fine, seeing as he plans to return home as soon as possible. His date and he haven’t talked much at all since his initial texts yesterday, texting each other only to confirm the time and place of their basically forced date.

He arrives fifteen minutes late, all but running from the bus stop to the restaurant while cursing Jisung under his breath. This was definitely not worth the hassle, and Chan wanted nothing more than to be back at home with his daughter. He’d pick watching Tangled with her for the hundredth time over an unwanted date in a heartbeat.

Chan finally walks into the restaurant, informing the waiter that he’s there to meet Cherry. His face visibly grimaces as he mutters the words. Fuck this blind date bullshit.

He’s led to his table, dragging his feet behind the waiter. His attention is immediately drawn to the pencil holding his date’s messy ponytail together. He chuckles quietly, circling around the table and forcing out a smile to introduce himself.

But then he’s met with a sight he had long given up hope of ever seeing again: you.

You, who were next to him as he made stupid decisions during college. Like when he drunkenly thought it wise to bet his laptop in a game of beer pong.

You, who always made him your special hangover soup after a party. He especially loved it when you let him keep the leftovers, knowing that he and his roommate were hopeless in the kitchen.

You, who filled the space in his cold sheets with warmth and always made his bed feel like a sanctuary.

You, who let him make love to you despite you both swearing to be only friends.

You, who later had to watch him walk away from you like a coward, driven by sheer fear.

You, staring back at him with a stunned look on your face.

“Chan?” You ask, an unsure lilt to your words.

And Chan embarrassingly fumbles over his words, his tongue tying itself into knots in front of you. He notices you pursing your lips to stop from giggling and clears his throat a bit too loudly, a few patrons turning their heads to look at him. But he can’t bring himself to care, not when it seems the universe has turned the wheels of his fate in his favor for once.

“Uh, hi,” is all his brain can muster among the jumble of thoughts inside his head. He mentally berates himself for acting so damn awkward when you’re clearly not as affected by this encounter as he is.

“Damn, it’s been so long,” you marvel, eyes not leaving his face for a second. “I thought you moved to a different country or something. It’s so strange how we never ran into each other.”

Chan forces out a chuckle, hands now fiddling with the menu on the table. Of course you two never ran into each other; he only ever leaves the house for work or when he has to accompany Hyerin, and he doubts you frequent playgrounds or zoos.

“Yeah, I… don’t go out much anymore,” he simply says.

You hum, and he properly takes in your appearance. You haven’t changed one bit; from your hair to your choice of clothes, you’re still the same girl who ruled over his every thought during college.

You two order your food and fall into an infuriating cycle of small talk. Chan doesn’t want to talk about the weather or if you have seen the latest movie yet — he’s desperate to ask you how you’ve been, if you ever pursued your dreams, if you can still outdrink anyone in your friend group, and—

And if you’re still single because you find relationships a hassle.

But as the food arrives, you fall into an even more frustrating cycle: silence. Chan feels restless, squirming in his seat every few minutes while you calmly eat and watch the people around you. He remembers your habit of scanning crowded rooms and making up stories for strangers with your vivid imagination. He wants to ask if you still do that, but it seems he’s only grown into more of a coward since your last encounter.

You’re the first to break the silence, waiting for the waiter to leave with your plates to ask what Chan has been doing since graduating. It’s a casual question with no weight to your words, as lighthearted as you have always been. And the complete opposite of his every possible answer.

How can he tell you he’s given up music altogether, now surrounded by gray walls and lifeless faces in his corporate job? How can he tell you he’s alone most of the time, partly by choice and partly because he doesn’t know how to dig himself out of this comfortable hole he’s trapped himself in?

How can he possibly explain that he agreed to be a single father, sacrificing his own happiness for the selfish whims of a woman who never even loved him?

You’re still the same; the same carefree eyes and attitude, same easygoing approach to everything life throws your way — such as meeting him again after years.

All of him has changed.

Chan can’t tarnish your colorful life, can’t sit before you and spill out his problems or grumble about the overwhelming loneliness in his life when he knows damn well that was a consequence of his own choices.

He wants nothing more than to be the same Chan he was in college. Creating life stories for strangers in dive bars with you, not caring about whether he’ll have enough money to pay the water bill next month, not having to bear the burden of something as precious as a human life depending solely on him.

It’s selfish, but he wants nothing more than to go back.

So he does.

“I actually still write songs, though it’s only a freelance thing,” he lies. He hasn’t written a single note in years. “Other than that, I’ve just been taking it day by day. Same as I’ve always done, I guess.”

And your eyes immediately light up — you’ve always loved his songs, after all. Your conversation flows much like it used to in the past after that, with you making witty jokes and Chan laughing loudly at them. You tell him you started working as an art teacher for the elderly when living off of commissions became impossible, and that you adore the stories they share about their younger years. They remind you of your own stories together, you admit with a genuine smile.

Your conversation is endless, continuing even as Chan walks you to your car in the empty parking lot. The night has grown colder, and the crescent moon gleaming in the sky above him almost feels like a sign that things will change for the better.

As you two stand in front of your car, a smile tugs at the corner of your lips. Ever the free soul, you ask him outright if he would like to come back to your place. There are no further implications hidden in your request beyond a hookup. Nothing’s ever heavy with you, every little thing always feeling light as a feather.

He says he would love to, but quickly excuses himself under the guise of calling his roommate about the spare key. Chan hurriedly calls Jisung as soon as he turns a corner in the parking lot, ensuring you won’t be able to hear him. It’s juvenile, the way he’s actually taking pleasure in almost creating a different version of himself — a version much closer to who he was when you were his, at least in some sense of the word. He’s a father, he should be responsible and dependable, but the weight of that role had been thrust upon him far too abruptly. He can’t be faulted for wanting to go back in time.

“Okay, I have no time to explain,” he blurts out as soon as Jisung picks up the phone. “Would it be too much to ask you to stay the night?”

Jisung chuckles at the other end of the line. “Damn, was the date that good?”

Chan ignores his sly comment, because yes, the date was everything he never thought it could be.

“I’ll be back first thing in the morning,” he assures him. “I’ll even pay you if you want. How much—”

“Hey, no need for that,” Jisung cuts him off. “You know I love looking after Hyerin.”

And the pang of guilt inside his chest at the mention of his daughter’s name almost knocks the air out of his lungs. He feels ashamed, as if he’s neglecting his daughter for a hookup, going after a fantasy that has long crumbled and faded away.

“How is she? Is she okay?” He asks, guilt washing over him like a wave. He hadn’t thought of his daughter for a second that entire night. “Did she cry at all? Did she notice I was gone for longer than I promised?”

Jisung calls out his name with a chuckle, prompting him to stop his rambling. “Relax. We painted each other’s nails, she did my makeup, had her dinner, and is now sleeping soundly after listening to another one of uncle Han’s phenomenal stories about frogs,” He details, causing a hearty laugh to fall from Chan’s lips at the image of Jisung’s face painted with Hyerin’s cheap children’s makeup. His friend then adds, “Go get laid, man.”

And so Chan hangs up the phone, all but running toward your figure waiting by your car. You smile at him, taking his hand and pulling him into a tight embrace. It’s the first time he holds you in almost five years, and he feels his dull world away from Hyerin slowly fill up with vibrant hues.

It takes you less than fifteen minutes to reach your apartment building, and Chan is thanking any higher power that might listen for that. The sheer anticipation of what is implied to happen once you two are alone together has him picking at his cuticles until it stings.

He’s nervous, to put it lightly. A couple of terrible drunken hookups in dingy motels after office gatherings were his only sexual encounters after Hyerin was born.

But once you’re standing in front of him in your living room, your eyes never leaving his even as you’re slipping off your heels, Chan knows you’re both equals in this playing field.

He’s the one to pull you into a kiss, lips barely grazing against yours. But the feeling of finally kissing you again after so many years was like wildfire, consuming him wholly until the kiss turns feverish. His hand travels from your shoulders to your lower back, pulling you flush against his body. You hum against his lips, fingers clumsily undoing his buckle, and the prospect that you might be as eager as he is has him gripping the fabric of your dress.

Chan swears his vision goes black the moment your fingertips brush against his hardening erection, the feathery touch enough to make him sigh into your mouth.

A hand is pressed to his chest before he has the chance to think, and you’re pushing him backward until his back meets the wall. You immediately drop to your knees in front of him, leaning forward and nuzzling your face against his clothed cock.

“I missed you,” you whisper, hungry eyes looking up at him. “Don’t think I got to say that.”

Chan takes in the sight of you, memorizing and storing it in his mind alongside the countless images he already had of you on his knees for him. His fingers thread in your hair, your lips falling open with a sigh.

“I missed you too,” he professes. You have no idea how much.

With a smile, you quickly work his zipper open, pulling his jeans down his legs and pressing a wet kiss to his clothed erection. Chan feels your tongue lap at his member through his boxers, lips sucking around the head as your nails scrape the flesh of his thighs lightly.

It feels like you mouth at his length for hours, the light gray fabric of his boxers stained with your saliva and his precum, leaving Chan panting and tugging at your hair. You trail soft, wet kisses down his thigh while pushing his boxers out of your way, his cock already swollen and flushed. He’d be embarrassed for the way his body reacted so responsively to you if you weren’t also visibly as affected.

Your tongue circles his length languidly, lapping at a small bead of precum with a hum. Finally wrapping your lips around his tip, your tongue flicks teasingly beneath the head of his cock, Chan sucking in a deep breath and using his grip on your hair as leverage to pull you toward him. You almost obediently drop your jaw to slide his now fully hardened length into your mouth, your hand wrapping around the base as you begin to bob your head up and down his cock. Chan hisses your name when you relax your throat after a few passes, taking him fully into your pretty mouth, your nose brushing his pelvis.

“Fuck, you always looked so pretty like that,” Chan chokes out. “Pretty lips taking me so well.”

You groan at his words and the vibrations traveling along his shaft have Chan growling with a harsh tug of your hair, causing you to sputter as his cock hit the back of your throat. You seek purchase in his hips as tears prick the corner of your eyes. You’re unrelenting nonetheless, circling your tongue around him before pulling away, hands now sliding up his thigh before gently gliding over his balls. As you slowly lick from the base of his shaft all the way up to the sensitive tip, Chan’s gaze shifts down as he catches a glimpse of your thighs rubbing together. He feels himself twitch, and immediately pulls you away from him.

“Don’t wanna come like this, I need to fuck you,” he rasps out.

You stand back up, legs wobbly, and fumble with the buttons of his shirt while he slides your dress down your shoulders. Your movements are messy and filled with urgency, your breaths quickening as you both want nothing more than to strip away any form of barrier between you. Piling up five years of yearning will do that.

As your impatience reaches its peak, you tear open the last remaining buttons of his shirt, your nails grazing his skin as you slide the fabric down his shoulders. A wave of goosebumps travels across Chan’s body, and his hands abandon the task of removing your dress in favor of tracing the curve of your ass before picking you up off the floor.

“First door on the right,” you tell him, your words answering his unspoken thoughts as if you could read his mind. Chan nods, your proximity making it impossible for him not to press his lips to yours, tongue sliding over your bottom lip before licking into your mouth with a low hum.

He collides with a wall, missing the entrance to your bedroom by a hair’s breadth, and you giggle against his lips. Chan smiles back. Nothing’s ever heavy with you.

He lowers you onto the bed gently, his body instinctively slotting between your spread legs the way he did so many times before. You soon also wrap your thighs around his waist as you always did, pulling him closer until his cock is pressed up against your clothed pussy.

“Wanna ride you,” you tell him, grinding your hips forward and eliciting a quiet moan from Chan’s lips as he hastily nods. With a tight grip on your waist, he flips you both effortlessly.

Promptly sitting up on his thighs, you finally rid yourself of the inconvenient fabric of your dress, followed by your bra, your nipples instantly hardening. Chan sits up, eyes transfixed on your chest as his calloused thumbs trace the nubs before his lips circle around one, sucking harshly. As you gently roll your hips, he can feel the way your soaked panties cling to his skin as your core presses up against his thigh.

Your fingers tangle in his hair with a whimper, pushing his face into your breasts as he bites the sensitive skin. His lips leave your nipples with a wet sound, then trailing kisses up the column of your neck until his gaze is locked on yours again. He was dying to mark you, bite and suck on your skin until it blossomed into a beautiful maroon — but he knew better. You weren’t twenty anymore, and you weren’t his; in no sense of the word.

“I’m on the pill,” you tell him, eyes heavy with lust.

And he knows this is a terrible idea. This was exactly how he came to be a father.

But it’s not his mind that’s doing the thinking, and so he nods, his grip on your hips tightening as you pull your soaked panties to the side just enough to slide the swollen tip of his cock against your slick folds. Chan sucks in a breath, fighting a war against his own body not to come from this feeling alone. It wasn’t just how long it had been since he was with someone, it was you. It was all you. The effect you had always had on him having never faded, simply laying dormant until his body had you again.

Chan rests his forehead on yours as you slowly sink down on his length. His lips find your neck again, gently sucking the skin into his mouth as you slowly grind down on him, a whine falling from your lips and going straight to his cock. His hips buck up unwittingly, causing you to moan loudly in his ears. But your slow pace remains, and Chan knows he should savor this moment, but he wants nothing more than to fuck you into the mattress until he forgets every minor issue aggravating his brain.

Such as the fact that he knows you will leave his life again the second you find out he lied to you.

So his hands find your waist and he flips you down onto the mattress once more. His eyes bore into you as you suck in a breath.

“Fuck me,” you plead, hips grinding into his cock again. “I want it, please—”

Chan doesn’t waste another second, retreating only to plunge back harshly into your cunt. He moves with deep strokes, hips falling into an erratic rhythm, your nails digging into his back as your thighs clenched around his waist. All he can hear is static and your choked moans as he presses you into the mattress.

“Missed this so fucking much,” he groans against your ear. And finally succumbing to his desires, he bends down to suck and nibble on the delicate skin of your neck, mind too focused on how your walls squeeze around him to worry about marking you. He laps at the small bruises he leaves behind, your fingers tangling in his hair as you mewl.

You roll your hips, matching his rhythm, and Chan feels a familiar heat rise within him. He reaches down to glide small circles around your clit, your body jolting and squirming. He absentmindedly smiles against your skin.

After an entire night of pretending his life was the same as it was five years ago, fucking you required no acting.

“It’s too much, fuck,” you whimper, tugging him by the hair until your lips are crashing together in a sloppy kiss. Your walls tighten around him, body clenching as the tension finally snaps, your orgasm coursing through your shaking body as Chan growls into your parted lips.

He keeps fucking into you, until his hips meet yours one last time, and a low groan reverberates through the room. His cock twitches inside of you as his body stills, filling you with his warm release which leaked out of you and onto your sheets as he pulled out with a sigh.

Chan throws himself onto the mattress, labored breaths leaving his heavy lungs. He pulls you into his arms, and you melt into his embrace as if it were a habit. It’s as though he’s gone back in time, even if temporarily.

He feels like he’s simply a guy making love with the girl he adores in the familiar comfort of his dorm room again.

When the first rays of sunlight seeped into your room, Chan was already awake. He watched as you slept, eyelids fluttering and a small smile adorning your lips.

It was as if you were his, in every sense of the word.

Guilt.

That’s what Chan feels every time he sees Hyerin’s laughing face on his phone’s wallpaper when he’s out, entertaining the silly lie he crafted.

It’s been two months since you reconnected and you effortlessly slipped him back into your life. The reunion with his old friends was expected — but Chan dreaded it, regardless. He found that out of the nine people that once comprised their group, only five remained. He wasn’t the only one who had gone his own way.

But he was the only one who had done it in the worst way possible, carelessly ghosting every single one of them, hoping his existence gradually faded from their memories.

That made facing his once best friend frightening. Minho was the first friend he made on the very first day of university, when Chan walked into his dorm room only to find he had snuck his cat into the building.

They were roommates for two years, and best friends for four. Chan complained loudly when he was assigned a new roommate. Minho was silent as he watched his best friend turn his back on him with no explanation.

Minho initially ignored him entirely, and Chan doesn’t fault him. When his vibrant face turned cold upon seeing him walk into a bar, Chan knew he earned that the moment he decided to ignore his friend’s every text message and phone call. When Minho made backhanded remarks about how nice it felt to have him back in their group, he knew he deserved it for not answering the door the only time his friend came looking for him.

It takes a drunken argument leading to a fist colliding with Chan’s cheek for Minho to finally address him. It takes them being escorted out of the bar by security for them to finally have a conversation, tears and resentment flowing freely as they sat at a bus stop late at night. After that, their friendship returned to what it was before, as if they had never been apart even for a second.

Despite the years and the changes, Minho was still his best friend — which was why he was the only person he came clean to.

Hyerin loved Minho, especially his cats. Her new favorite pastime quickly became going over to his house to play with her new ‘friends’, as she called them. And Chan was overwhelmed with happiness to witness his best friend falling under his daughter’s spell — his house now containing its very own box filled with every toy Hyerin mentioned even once, his kitchen stocked with all her favorite foods, and his cats falling asleep beside her anytime they came over to visit.

It was as if he was watching his two worlds collide. His past and present, which he had separated out of a senseless fear, intertwined so effortlessly it made him feel stupid for ever thinking he needed to build this barrier. For assuming the people he loved so much would reject him.

Made him feel even worse for walking away in a futile attempt to protect his feelings, because it only resulted in more hurt.

After so much of his time spent wondering, Chan finally has the answer to his questions. Some of his friends did settle for an ordinary adult life, some already married and some focusing their energy solely on climbing the corporate ladder. Still, some remained relatively unchanged — much like you did.

His social life blossomed again after reconnecting with his old friends. However, he still refused to hire a nanny, too fearful to leave Hyerin to a stranger’s care, resulting in constantly having to come up with excuses when his parents aren’t able to babysit. He won’t deny that he often fabricated these lies purely because staying in with his daughter and watching Tangled now outweighs any appeal of noisy nightclubs.

Jisung remained his salvation whenever he wanted to spend the night at your place, with Chan slowly but surely running out of reasons as to why you can’t go to his apartment for a change. He hasn’t had the heart or the courage to tell you the entire truth yet, only owning up to his lie about his job after you understandably asked him to listen to his new music and he was put on the spot.

Ever since you walked back into his life, he finds himself weaving a web of little white lies that slowly chip away at his heart.

He’s at a small gathering for his friend’s birthday, listening to Minho all but eulogize his fiancee. They have been a couple since university, Chan playing the wingman and encouraging his friend to finally do something about his crush (mostly because he couldn’t handle any more of Minho’s whining before going to sleep). Despite what everyone around them surmised, they beat all the odds and statistics and stayed together even after university. Chan would be happier about that if he hadn’t bet money on them breaking up before graduation. He wonders if Hongjoong will ask for his twenty bucks now that they’re friends again.

“No, really, settling down with someone is so good,” Minho says after another shot of Soju, a silly smile etched onto his lips. “I thought I would hate it, y’know? Thought slapping such a significant title on our relationship would wear it down, but it’s the complete opposite. Ever since she proposed, it’s like we’re two love-struck nineteen-year-olds again.”

Chan smiles, saying they should drink to that purely because he hopes the sensation of alcohol burning his throat will numb his overwhelming jealousy. After congratulating Minho for the umpteenth time, he finds himself listening to yet another story about his relationship.

And he’s happy for Minho, just as much as he’s happy for Wonwoo for getting married last year. He couldn’t express the overwhelming joy he felt upon discovering these people, who once meant so much to him, had successfully navigated their way through life. But envy rears its ugly head every time he listens to one of their stories, because Chan’s direction in life seems to be a winding road. He’s a father, and his love for Hyerin is immeasurable, but he’s still actively lying about this side of him simply because he feels as if maybe he made the right choices in life at the worst possible time.

As he’s walking out of Hongjoong’s apartment with you later that night, he wraps an arm around your waist, a smile spreading across his face when you nestle closer to him. You two discuss Wonwoo’s marriage, with you talking about how beautiful the ceremony was, but ultimately scowling at the mere thought of getting married. Chan feels the corner of his heart crack at your words, but he laughs it off.

“Do you think he wants kids?” he wonders aloud.

He expects you to laugh at his sudden curiosity. He doesn’t expect you to dig at the fissure in his heart with your words, causing it to shatter completely.

“Gosh, it’d be so weird to see.” You cringe, snuggling deeper into his arms as a chilly breeze brushes against you two. “I like kids, but I’d never have them myself. Feel like it’d kinda ruin my life.”

Chan feels his grip on your waist loosen.

“Having kids doesn’t ruin your life,” he reasons. “You’re given the chance to care for something so precious, so important to this world…” he trails off, shaking his head and taking a step away from you. It feels as if exasperation has filled his entire being. “You look into their eyes and see yourself, and it’s— the love you feel when you first see them is so pure and earth-shattering that you can’t think of anything but how to make that tiny being only experience the good in the world. It doesn’t ruin your life.”

You eye him with confusion, cocking your head to the side and huffing out a laugh. “You talk like you know what that’s like. If you ever have kids one day, then you’ll know—”

“But I do know,” he’s yelling before he can stop himself, his footsteps coming to a halt. “I know because I have that. I have that and it’s the most precious thing in my life and yet I’ve been taking it for granted. And for what?”

He scoffs bitterly, his gaze fixing on your features; your flushed cheeks and slightly smudged lipstick, the way your puzzled eyes gleam under the moonlight. He shakes his head.

“For childish illusions. The illusion that I could go back in time if I pretended hard enough, the illusion that this romanticized idea I have of my early twenties was superior to the life I have now,” Chan lets out a heavy breath, averting his gaze to the pavement. “The illusion that I could ever have you.”

“So it’s my fault you chose to lie about being a dad?” You blurt out.

He doesn’t lift his head. He can’t, the burden of guilt and shame weighing too heavily on his shoulders for him to face you.

“It’s my fault. You were simply the catalyst.”

“What do you even mean?”

“I mean I’ve always felt this way,” he exasperates, finally lifting his head but keeping his gaze anywhere but on you. He’s a coward. “I’ve always felt like maybe I was too young to be a dad, too immature to fully understand the consequences of the choices I made. I don’t regret my daughter, but I certainly regret the timing, and this haunts me every day. Meeting you again just made these feelings worse because you represent everything about my past that I no longer have.”

You remain quiet for a beat, but it feels like an eternity as Chan is forced to endure the deafening ring of your silence.

When you finally speak, your voice is unsteady. “You know, that’s why I always figured it was for the best that you left.”

“What?” Chan turns his gaze toward your face at last, your words stomping on his scattered heart one last time. He expects anger, but sorrow has taken over your expression, one so heavy he doesn’t recall a single moment in the years he’s known you where he’s seen you like this.

“You were always like this, Chan. You might think you were a different person back then, but you said it yourself,” you shrug with a sullen chuckle. “It’s only an illusion.”

He hums, nodding his head as it dawns on him. “You were never gonna be mine, were you? No matter what I did. I lied to you because I thought you would never want someone like who I am today. But I guess that was all in vain, ‘cause I’ve always been like this.”

“You always talked about getting married, settling down, having kids.” As you run a hand through your hair, an exasperated sigh falls from your lips. “You went along with our bullshit, but even back then, you were always like the dad of our group. This has always been you, Chan, but that’s not a bad thing. Don’t think you need to change or lie about who you are ‘cause you’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met, but…”

He scoffs. “But?”

“But we’re too different. We’ve always been. We’re great together in every way but the way you want us to be — the way I would love for us to be as well,” you simply say, offering him a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

“And would it kill you if we tried? ‘Cause this unfulfilled hope has been killing me since I first fell in love with you.”

“What’s her name?” You simply ask, avoiding his question altogether. Chan furrows his brows. “Your daughter, what’s her name?”

He shifts on his feet. “Hyerin.”

“I hope she knows how lucky she is to have you as a dad.”

Chan shakes his head. “I’m far from the perfect father.”

“Good,” you state matter-of-factly. “Perfect wouldn’t be you.”

You fall into a much lighter silence, although it’s still far from comfortable. A swarm of questions fills Chan’s mind, but his words fade into silence and die on his lips.

He knows everything is over when you suck in a sharp breath, muttering, “I can’t be what you need. When love becomes too serious, I feel trapped and run away. You know what that’s like,” you trail off. “I know we loved each other back then, and I know I still love you now, but I think it’s my turn to walk away. I’m sorry, Chan.”

And just like that, he’s left to watch your figure slowly grow smaller and smaller as you fade into the dimly lit street. You don’t reprimand him for lying or question if he also loves you still. You don’t explain why you can’t make an effort, probably because you’re unsure of the answer yourself. It turns out you both remained unchanged.

And after all this time, it’s only then that Chan realizes you were always just as lost as he was.

Chan didn’t allow himself to think much about you since he watched you walk away that night. He missed you often, as he had done for so long before your last encounter, but he had long grown numb to that feeling.

In the two years he was apart from you for the second time, he learned that life isn’t black or white. He could be a father while also being his own person; a son, a friend, a boyfriend. He learned that prioritizing Hyerin didn’t mean neglecting himself, as that would negatively impact her as well. She couldn’t only know happiness if her father was always dripping with sadness.

He learned he doesn’t have to choose between who he is now and who he was at twenty years old; they were both him, with certain moments bringing out glimpses of one or the other.

Hyerin started elementary school and is blossoming into a caring little girl, no longer needing Chan to tie her pigtails in the morning or remind her to brush her teeth before bed. Although she still demands that they maintain their nightly routine of lying together until she falls asleep to the sound of his voice singing her favorite song.

During his first parent-teacher conference — after walking into the classroom fifteen minutes late — he’s stunned to see you sitting across from him yet again, a pencil holding up your ponytail the same way it did that night at the restaurant. He couldn’t help the smile that spread on his lips.

You were Hyerin’s teacher. He recalled picking her up after her first day of school and listening to her gush over the art teacher who was so pretty and nice, and talking about how she wanted to be like her when she grows up.

It felt as if you were destined to find each other every time one of you chose to walk away.

Your friendship picked up again slowly this time — no rushing into bed together and no rushing into long overdue serious conversations. They had already been avoided for years, anyway, they could wait a bit longer. This is exactly what you needed; patience. Chan had never had the patience to wait for you, while you never had the patience to understand your own feelings.

It’s been ten months now, and he’s yet again sitting before you. The teachers and parents converse around you both as you sit in silence. When you think no one is watching, you exchange glances, struggling to suppress the silly smiles that insist on spreading across your faces.

As people leave the room one by one after the meeting, Chan approaches you.

“You’re Bang Hyerin’s father, correct?” You speak with a grin.

“Correct.”

“She’s an amazing kid,” you tell him.

He smiles, shifting his gaze toward his feet before his eyes find yours again as you speak.

“We could grab a coffee this weekend.”

This time, there are further implications hidden in your request. You’re not asking as a friend, like you’ve been doing these past months. Some things are heavy with you now, and this is something he’s only recently come to find. He’s also come to find that he loves that change.

So he answers, “Sure. Tomorrow at three?”

“Then I’m your date for tomorrow,” you say with a giggle. “See you there, cutie.”

And Chan lets out a hearty laugh at that, which earns him a scolding look from the other teachers in the room.

He isn’t sure what will come of this. Maybe you two are better off as friends and all it will take is a couple of months to figure that out. Maybe time has changed you both more than he can understand, and you will finally be able to try something real after all these years of unfulfilled hopes and childish illusions.

Either way, Chan knows he won’t let go of you this time.

He wants you to be his, in any sense of the word.

♡ taglist: @bloom-ings, @linocz, @farahia, @mirbokk, @jisunglyricist, @jazziwritesthings, @seungseung-minmin, @yourcvndx, @hynjinnnnnnnie @vlctorriaa @yongbokkiesworld

#stray kids #bang chan smut #skz smut #stray kids x reader #bang chan x reader #bang chan #bang chan x you #stray kids smut #skz #bangchan smut #bangchan x reader #bangchan x you

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intotheelliwoods · 7 months

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Elliwoods' 4K+ DTIYS <- <-

Seeming as theres interest, a DTIYS at last! Thanks again to everyone new, and those who have stuck with me for for all these months!!

Deadlines? None! Edit: December 1st, 2023!

Prizes? I will love and cherish you forever, actually

I just want everyone to enjoy themselves! No pressure on my end at all. The only "prize" would be I might make your work my phone background for a long while! Other notes meanwhile:

- I encourage everyone to have fun with the outfits! I cannot stress this one enough! I want to see you get creative on what these boys can wear! You do not need to give them the same outfits I did! I think it would be awesome if every participant had a completely unique fit! - You can change the poses and angle as much as you would like! Literally long as the two Leos are in the shot I am happy! - Want to write instead? Something surrounding the scene! Where are they? What are they saying? Are they on a vacation in Tahiti? Are they in a 80's movie makeover montage? - Tag me please and thank you! I want to see your gorgeous takes! <3

-> ->

This may or may not have been inspired by this old piece

#2 arms left #dtiys #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise leo #leonardo hamato #future leo #lmao deciding on one final version is hard #have multiple #<3 #im really out here going “i cant draw clothes can you draw them for me”#fun fact #sketch was in autodesk #lineart and base was in aggie #only for me to then transfer it over back to autodesk for details #best of both my fav art programs <3 #2al dtiys

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rezal-art · 5 months

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Fanart Advent Calendar: Day 10

For Petrichor & Parchment, by @katnoggin. A very sweet, lovely story about Aziraphale moving to the countryside and meeting a handsome gardener.

This piece is part of a personal challenge: an advent calendar that will feature one fanart a day for some of my favorite fics, from the 1st of December to the 24th. Once again, the week-end allowed me to spend a little bit more time for this cute illustration. Happy Sunday!

#good omens fanart #aziraphale #anthony j crowley #gardener crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #good omens human au #my art #rezal advent calendar 2023

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inuyashaluver · 3 months

Note

Hello Bestie could you maybe write a Christmas fic with Maya or Leah?? Where player and reader are Christmas tree shopping and they end up kissing under a mistletoe

sneaky - leah williamson

leah williamson x reader

description: in which you and your girlfriend go christmas tree shopping, you oblivious to her little plan in store for you

warnings: pure fluff, not even close to christmas but still cute, swearing

a/n: this is so cute are we kidding, do you know how hard it was for me to chose, i was dying lmao, enjoy bestie! ❤️ not me writing WAY past christmas

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you and your girlfriend, leah had alternative feelings towards christmas. you didn’t really mind it, whereas leah thought christmas was the best part of the year.

though, as the time progressed, you’d grown a love for christmas because of what it meant to leah, her happy smile the greatest gift of all.

over the four years that you and leah had been dating, you’d spent each christmas together, leah made it her personal mission to make your shared home a winter wonderland.

—

it was november 31st and you were both lying on the couch, the blonde resting comfortably on your body as you lay flat. her hands are planted under your back, buried into the warmth of your (her) hoodie as you both watch a movie.

her hands gently roam your warm skin as you both giggle along with the movie. when she hears you laugh, she looks up at you in adoration, taking in every little detail she could before you caught her. you were beautiful and she couldn’t take her eyes off you.

when you looked down slightly to investigate why leah had gone so quiet all of a sudden, you were shocked to see your girlfriend looking at you with a lovesick expression that made your heart beat rapidly. “hello” you breathe out with a little laugh.

she smiles bashfully when you make eye contact, moving to hide her face on your chest as you giggle at her affectionately.

you place a hand through her hair and she melts into you instantly, humming at the contact before placing gentle kisses on the base of neck.

after she avoids your gaze for about two minutes, she can’t help but look at you again, this time you were already looking at her and her breath caught in the back of her throat. you looked at her with so much love, she honestly couldn’t believe it.

“you’re so pretty” you whisper, leah shakes her head at you amusingly and moves up a little to be face to face, “you’re beautiful, my girl” each word brushes your lips as she smiles down at you.

she closes the gap between you to seal your lips in a kiss. it was tender, gentle and full of so much mutual adoration, it was sickeningly sweet.

that’s when you were broken apart by leah’s phone buzzing with an alarm. she excitedly gasps and kisses your lips repeatedly, relishing in the sounds of your melodious giggles that made her heart soar.

“it’s 12 o’clock” she gushed, moving to turn the alarm off before moving to kiss you again. you gasp against her lips as she deepens the kiss before she abruptly pulls away to hover over you, “do you know why i’m excited it’s 12 o’clock, baby?”

you shake your head at the girl’s words and she rolls her eyes, “for sleep?” you smile, training had kicked your ass today, mainly because leah was marking you the whole time.

“no, it’s december 1st!” she exclaims, kissing the tip of your nose with a bright grin. you knew what this meant and it made you smile.

“christmas shopping” you point out, making leah smile at you proudly. she appreciated how much you let her share the love of her favourite holiday.

she nods at you excitedly and squeezes you into an embrace, kissing your cheek before hoisting you up, carrying you towards the bedroom so you two could sleep before surely a stressful time for you and a happy time for leah.

—

you had woken up first for the day and had to pry yourself out of the warm embrace of your girlfriend to get up out of bed.

leah shortly after you woke up with a slight scowl at you not being in her arms when her eyes opened, making her pad around the house to search for you to see you bundled up on the couch scrolling on your phone.

“traitor” she grumbles, glaring at you slightly as you look up at her with a bright smile. “good morning, baby” you cheese out, she can’t help but smile a little and trudges over to you, planting her body on top of you as she sinks into your embrace. “good morning” she mumbles into the skin of your neck.

“someone’s not as excited as i thought she’d be, on the 1st of december too,” you tease, making the blonde shoot up in remembrance, “shit! i forgot!” her eyes are wide as she looks at you, quickly transforming into a look of excitement as she remembered what you’d be doing today.

“what are we waiting for? get up! get up!” leah ushers, dragging you off the couch and ignoring your protests of being cold as you both make it back to the bedroom.

you smile in amusement as leah sits you on the bed to pick out your clothes for the day, giving a satisfied smile as she holds the clothes up to your body.

she grins and gives you a quick kiss before forcing you to get changed. she rushes to get ready herself, running back to the living room to wait for you. not forgetting to complain that you were taking too long.

by the time you’d both made it into the car, leah’s hand would squeeze your thigh every couple of minutes to express her eagerness.

you’d both shopped for decorations and gifts for what felt like days but you wouldn’t utter a complaint at all, leah was so extremely happy despite it being such a stressful time that it eased your worries instantly.

you were happy to follow her like a lost puppy as she showed you a bunch of different items with a bright smile, agreeing with her instantly without a second thought.

it had reached later in the day, it was dark and was now the time where you and leah would go and get a tree after dropping all of your other items at home.

leah insisted you both needed to get a real tree for christmas every year because that’s what she was taught to do and you were happy to oblige.

when you both make it to the tree stall, leah rushes to open your door and laces your fingers excitedly as she pulls you along the hundreds of trees lined up to chose from.

though, what you didn’t notice was that leah was taking you along a specific path, you were unaware that she had spotted a mistletoe towards the far right of the area when you first entered and made it her mission to get you there and steal a kiss.

her cheeky smirk didn’t go unmissed by you as you both walked along looking at the trees and the pretty lights. “what are you up to?” you narrow your eyes at her as she tries to stifle a giggle when you were nearing the area where the mistletoe was.

“nothing, baby” she smiles down at you, kissing your cheek before dragging you off again.

you’d looked at so many trees, you were surprised leah hadn’t picked one yet as she’s usually quite quick. “you don’t like any of these?” you question, leah shakes her head at looks at you with a grin,

“the best ones are usually at the end” she shrugs, both of you walking, chatting and giggling. it was truly a wholesome experience for the two of you, something so sacred and special that you would treasure forever.

by the time you reached the last row, leah visibly perks up and increases her speed. you struggle to catch up with her excited steps before she suddenly stops and faces you.

she takes both of your hands in hers and gives them a gentle squeeze, smiling at you lovingly. “hi” leah smiles cheekily, pulling you forward slightly. “hi” you breathe out, looking at leah sheepishly.

“you look so beautiful” leah says in awe, pulling you closer again. you could tell she was up to something, by her cheeky smile and the way she kept pulling you closer every time she spoke but you weren’t complaining.

“you look very beautiful” you smile, “you also look sneaky, what’s going on?” she laughs at your words and shakes her head amusingly, you both knew when the other was up to something.

“hm” she hums with a laugh, her eyes flickering upward with a smirk. you follow her gaze and that’s when you see it, a mistletoe hung directly over you two. you keep your eyes on it and laugh, looking back at leah with a big smile.

you both giggle when you make eye contact and leah places her hands on your hips, pulling you closer until you were pressed up against each other gently. your arms instinctively wrap around her neck as you smiled at each other.

“mistletoe, huh? knew you were up to something” you smirk, leah chuckles and nods, “who are we to deny the rules of the mistletoe, baby?” leah scoffs, you nod and ghost your lips over hers. she bumps her nose with yours and you both giggle again before she closes the gap between the two of you.

it starts off soft and gentle before you take initiative and deepen it, carding a hand through her hair and gently grazing your nails on her scalp, prompting her to squeeze your hips in appreciation.

she quickly dominates the kiss as you both whine into each other’s mouths. when you both pull away absolutely breathless, she rests her forehead on yours, your breaths mingling as you smile with each other.

you pull away slightly to make eye contact, “you know, we’re still under the mistletoe” you whisper, she laughs brightly at you and smiles with a nod, “mhm, we are” she looks up at it for a moment before looking back down at you,

“who are we to deny the rules of the mistletoe? huh, leah baby?” you quip, leah nods gently before pulling you into another breathless kiss, lasting a couple of seconds before pulling away.

“the tree?” you smirk, leah nods before grabbing your hand again, lacing them together as you walked. “i already know what tree i want” leah chuckles, taking you to the very first row of trees, pointing out the third one.

you can’t help but laugh brightly, you knew her too well, of course she set her heart on one of the first trees she saw but dragged you all the way to the mistletoe.

—

you both get home and set up the tree, decorating it together under leah’s very careful and specific instructions. the house is warm and full of love, fairy lights providing light as you both laugh and chat while decorating.

once done, you both pull away satisfied, leah tucking you into her side as you both look at the decorated tree.

“it might be our best tree yet, my girl” leah chuckles, kissing your temple as you lean into her. “why? because you dragged me around 10 different isles of trees just to kiss me and then took me all the way back to pick this one?” you recount cheekily, leah nods with a giggle.

“exactly” she grins, “not like you were complaining” leah bumps your hip with hers and you laugh, leaning up to kiss her cheek, making a light pink dust the skin there.

“no, i’m not, in fact..” you start, pulling out a small mistletoe from your pocket to hold it up over your heads. leah raises her eyebrows before she throws her head back in a laugh, “well, who are we to deny the rules?” she smirks, wrapping her arms around your waist to pull you in a searing kiss, your hands dropping the mistletoe in the purpose.

it was a good christmas already.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

liked by liawaelti and 44,232 others

leahwilliamsonn: me and my girl put up the christmas tree, favourite time of the year!

view all comments

yourname: leah did the whole thing

↳ leahwilliamsonn: baby! no, we did it together!

↳ yourname: leah, my love, you told me where to put each and every ornament, i don’t know if it counts

↳ leahwilliamsonn: you still put it on with your pretty hands

↳ yourname: mhm

↳ leahwilliamsonn: meet me under the mistletoe in 5 minutes?

↳ yourname: sold

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso one shot #woso imagine #leah williamson #leah williamson x reader

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youkissedareaderinthedark · 4 months

Text

Don’t Expect the Expected

Synopsis: Formula 1’s only and most successful female driver and Real Madrid’s star midfielder. It’s too good to be true. Right?

social media au

female driver reader x jude bellingham

A/N: for this one, reader will be 20 and drive for mercedes with george. also im so sorry but some of the photos might be blurry/hard to see

y/n_l/n

august 19th

liked by carlossainz55, realmadridfc, and 687,984 others

y/n_l/n carlossainz kidnapped me to convert me into a real madrid fan

carlossainz don’t lie you loved it

realmadridfc no need to pretend y/n! we know you’ve always been a fan ❤️

user1 omg I wonder if she met the players

user2 need more carlos and y/n content immediately they’re such an underrated friendship

user3 yesss y/n and real madrid my two favorite things

y/n_l/n

september 20th

liked by carlossainz, judebellingham, and 737,421 others

y/n_l/n guess they did something right because im back for more

carlossainz I knew you liked it

y/n_l/n shhh

judebellingham glad to have you back

y/n_l/n glad to be back

user4 ariana what are you doing here

user5 look at y/n and jude 😭

user6 wait what I didn’t even think of them together

user6 im not complaining tho they’d be cute together

user7 omg is that jude in that photo with her??

user8 imagine

y/n_l/n

october 10th

liked by mercedesamgf1, judebellingham, and 624,178 others

y/n_l/n this week so far

user9 IS THE SHADOW PHOTO Y/N AND JUDE???

user10 OMG THEY’RE TOTALLY A COUPLE

user11 these two were not on my 2023 bingo card 😭

user12 my favorite couple fr

user13 is this a soft launch or hard launch I can’t tell

user14 usually I advocate for people just being friends but I ship these two way too hard for that 😭

y/n_l/n

november 8th

liked by jobebellingham, judebellingham, and 987,541 others

y/n_l/n this man said “let’s play mermaids”

judebellingham don’t know what you’re on about mermaids is the best game

y/n_l/n I didn’t say it wasn’t

jobebellingham he can’t even pose 🤦‍♂️

y/n_l/n cant even pose 🤦‍♀️

judebellingham that’s not fair you two can’t gang up on me

y/n_l/n jobe only speaks the truth 🤷‍♀️

jobebellingham facts

user15 caption should’ve said jobe and his parents

user16 family day fr

user17 Y/N’S MET JUDE’S FAMILY IM GONNA CRY

user18 ENOUGH of this soft launch you guys are too cute to stay secret 😭

user19 half of me still can’t believe they’re basically together but the other half of me is so happy they are

user20 my parents

user21 them >>>>

judebellingham

november 20th

liked by y/n_l/n, eduardocamavinga, and 690,357 others

judebellingham let’s stay in vegas

user22 JUDE WENT TO A RACE AHHH

user23 jude’s in his wag era !!

user24 “let’s stay in vegas” 😭 he’s so sweet im crying

user25 both mercedes on the podium AND a jude/y/n post?? it’s a good day

user25 i just know jude was cheering like crazy for her in the merc garage

user26 no more soft launch please i want my parents to be together and proud 🙏🙏

y/n_l/n

november 27th

liked by judebellingham, mercedesamgf1, and 619,926 others

y/n_l/n a great end to a fantastic season ⭐️ so proud of everything we’ve accomplished this year, can’t wait till febuary 🫶

mercedesamgf1 🩵

y/n_l/n 🩵

judebellingham 🫶

user27 can’t believe it’s over already

user28 y/n owned this season she did so good 🙏

user29 i don’t know what im gonna do without y/n’s weekly race photo dumps 😔

user27 especially with jude 😞

user30 wish this season could’ve gone on forever

user31 at least we’ll get some winter break content

y/n_l/n

december 1st

liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, and 801,645 others

y/n_l/n home

judebellingham you couldn’t have chosen a better photo?

y/n_l/n wdym? you look fantastic in that one

user32 omg she called madrid home 😭

user33 or jude home

user34 either are so cute I might die

user35 im so happy they got together

user36 they’re actually perfect for each other

user37 fuck romeo and juliet I want what these bitches have

y/n_l/n

december 7th

liked by jobebellingham, judebellingham, and 845,139 others

y/n_l/n jobe > the other random one on the right

jobebellingham 💪

judebellingham you need to stop with these photos it’s getting out of hand

user38 jobe’s parents

user39 family day pt 2

user40 no but fr where did she get that picture of jude

user41 omg 💀

judebellingham

december 14th

liked by y/n_l/n, jobebellingham, and 987,609 others

judebellingham bts- “this is our second cart, we do not need a 3rd christmas bush” “it’s a christmas tree jude” “dont look like one” “you look like one” “what was that?” “nothing”

“why in the world do we need 4 gingerbread houses? no one even eats them” “so? they look nice” “yeah, 1 looks nice, 4 looks like we’re crazy”

and after we set the timer to get the third photo, y/n slipped and fell. I laughed

user42 LMAOO

user43 jude 💀

user44 im deadddd

user45 holidays with the bellinghams

user46 if she wants 3 christmas bushes let her get 3 christmas bushes 🤨🤨

user47 I would pay sm money to watch this all happen

user48 they bicker like an old married couple I love it

user49 my parents

user50 they’re everyone’s parents atp

user51 im so in love with them

user52 is this still a soft launch??? are they even dating or are they just besties 😭

user53 girl there’s no way they’re just friends

user54 but like they haven’t even called each other girlfriend/boyfriend

user55 they’re 100% dating…. I think

user56 now that I think about it, their posts could very much be platonic

user57 omg no way they haven’t even confirmed their relationship

user52

december 23

liked by y/n_l/n, judebellingham, and 989,876 others

user52 💀💀

user58 all this time we were trying to get them to reveal their relationship but they weren’t even intentionally hiding it

user59 we’re actually so dumb 🤦‍♀️

user60 I can’t believe we didn’t think of a private relationship sooner

user61 omg seriously

user62 well at least (I have nothing, im still shocked)

*I don’t take credit or own any of these photos*

#reader insert #formula 1 #driver reader #platonic f1 grid #female driver reader #f1 imagine #jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham imagine #social media au #smau #jude bellingham smau #football imagine #footballer imagine

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hanniluvi · 5 months

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( 🗒️ ) — ADVENT CALENDAR ‘23?!

[ 🎥 ] — open something a little special each day before christmas day … who wouldn’t love these gifts?

unlock a new drabble/fic by soph everyday in december before christmas!

[ 💬 ] — happy early december!! as the weather is starting to get colder, i decided to write a 2023 kpop winter masterlist ! there are many reasons as why i have decided to do this — 1. 2023 is coming to an end 2. i hit 2K+ followers 3. and bc it has officially been a year of hanniluvi (since oct 30 2022), so this is my big present for you all! thank you guys so much for all this love on this account, and i hope you love these little fics you get daily very soon 🫶 + get little spoilers of the titles n everything 👀 !!

POSTING SCHEDULE — starting from dec. 1st to dec. 25 . NO FIXATED TIME POSTS ; I POST WHENEVER I CAN!

STATUS : DISCONTINUED ; REMAINING ONES —> 2024 ?!?!

“ stay in the middle, like you a little ”

[ ★ ] DAY ONE — lovers’ tv [ jungwon ]

[ ☆ ] DAY TWO — hot choco girl [ hanbin ]

[ ★ ] DAY THREE — his beige sweater [ jake ]

[ ☆ ] DAY FOUR — you’re my star [ eric ]

[ ★ ] DAY FIVE — love easily crumbles [ taehyun ]

[ ☆ ] DAY SIX — ugly christmas sweaters [ beomgyu ]

[ ★ ] DAY SEVEN — come on! [ jaehyun ]

[ ☆ ] DAY EIGHT — this is how it feels [ sunghoon ]

[ ★ ] DAY NINE — blurry hearts [ niki ]

[ ☆ ] DAY TEN — warmth for two [ nicholas ]

[ ★ ] DAY ELEVEN — winter without you [ yeonjun ]

[ ☆ ] DAY TWELVE — you’re blushing? [ changmin ]

[ ☆ ] DAY THIRTEEN — not our last goodbye. [ k ]

[ ☆ ] DAY FOURTEEN — (not so) yummy cookies [ soobin ]

[ ★ ] DAY FIFTEEN — ditto! [ harua ]

[ ★ ] DAY SIXTEEN — wanna share? [ leehan ]

[ ★ ] DAY SEVENTEEN — perfect night [ heeseung ]

[ ☆ ] DAY EIGHTEEN — taking care of you [ sunwoo ]

[ ★ ] DAY NINETEEN — last christmas [ taesan ]

[ ☆ ] DAY TWENTY — skater boy [ sunoo ]

[ ★ ] DAY TWENTY ONE — snowball fight? [ zhanghao ]

[ ☆ ] DAY TWENTY TWO — missing snow angel [ hyunjae ]

[ ★ ] DAY TWENTY THREE — crowded [ gunwook ]

[ ☆ ] DAY TWENTY FOUR — that’s us [ chanhee ]

[ ★ ] DAY TWENTY FIVE — be my plus one [ jay ]

( * ) PLEASE NOTE THAT SOME FIC IDEAS / TITLES MAY CHANGE BUT THE IDOLS WOULD MOST LIKELY STAY THE SAME FOR THIS MASTERLIST !

TAGGING PEOPLE IN CERTAIN GROUP TAGLISTS !

—> people in certain taglists will only be tagged in idol works of that group

—> if you wish to be tagged for any group(s) on here or just for the mlist in general, let me know !

ENHA PERM TAGLIST (1) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @haruavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @ml8dy @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @hyeosi @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @isoobie @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

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esha-isboogara · 1 year

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how long the jojos last during no nut november

i stole borrowed this idea from @garoujo i loved their jujutsu kaisen version of this and just KNEW i had to make my own!!!

✰nothing too crazy but it’s still kinda nsfw, mentions of sex and all that, blah blah minors dni

jonathan: december 1st - being the most innocent of the jojos he is bound to last the entire month. his sex drive is not as high as most men his age plus he always enjoys a good challenge. he asked you multiple times if you were willing to do this and once you agreed it was set in stone. the hardest part of the month is hearing you beg for his cock night after night, having to deny you for so long takes a toll on him. jojo wants nothing more than to fill you up with cock,pumping you full as you cry for more ;) both of you get this wish when the month is over

joseph: november 2nd- when he first heard the idea he was thrilled. he was convinced he could coax you into failing within the first week,breaking you down with subtle touches and deep kisses. alas this was only a plan. when he woke up the next day with a bad case of morning wood he had to relieve it one way or another. joseph tried for maybe ten minutes to ignore it but gave up as soon as he took a good look at you sleeping form. oh god how could he resist you when you look so pretty.

caesar zeppelli: november 4th- at first he was totally opposed to the challenge, thinking it only to be juvenile and crude. but when he was made aware of joseph participating he was more than willing to take part in the game. caesar liked to think he had the self control of a god, able to resist even the most beautiful of temptresses. it turns out he’s not as strong as he had once thought. all it took was the sight of you stepping out of the shower and he was out. he won’t let you bring it up around jojo though, he may have lost the competition but he still has his pride.

jotaro kujo: november 27th- oh he was so close to lasting the entire month. jotaro is able to control himself to an insane amount. it didn’t matter how much you teased him, small touches, dirty things whispered in his ear, cute little outfits jotaro held on strong. one day you dropped by his office to give him a stack of papers he forgot at home and for some reason that broke him. you were just so kind and thoughtful how could he not reward you. he took you right there on his desk, loving the way your ass bounces as he pounds into you. jojo is a bit disappointed he didn’t last the entire month but you’re quick to comfort him and praise him for how well he did.

noriaki kakyoin: november 18th- the man is a gamer at heart so you best believe he’s down to participate in a boss fight of sorts. he takes the challenge the most seriously out of all the guys. he will not give in to absolutely anything. wellll that is until you kneel down between his legs while he was in the middle of a game and gave him those eyes. he didn’t want to lose he really didn’t but fuck you were just so beautiful knelt before him. after a round or two he admitted to tapping out of the competition. he’s super chill about losing and makes up for the lost time for the rest of the month ;)

josuke higashikata: november 15th- okayasu gave him the idea and he was so excited to pitch it to you. he was always the competitive type so he was more than happy to compete. for the next two weeks he kept his distance not wanting to slip up. but alas he is still a teenage boy and he has his needs. one particular day while embracing you he felt his cock twitch and he knew that was it. next thing you knew you were being dragged into an empty closed and fucked out of your mind. despite not lasting the whole month you have to commend him for keeping it together for as long as he did.

okuyasu nijimura: november 11th- he over heard the concept of the game from a few of his fellow classmates during math and figured it was worth a try. not like he anything better going on. the first week was smooth sailing for him, he had not one impure thought the entire time. but alas he is still a teenage boy the hormones are bound to start raging eventually. it wasn’t too hard to break the boy down. you bent down to pick something up off the floor and he just couldn’t help it anymore. all it took was a few thrusts and he was done. unlike other guys his age he wasn’t embarrassed that he failed the challenge. honestly he’s kind of glad he didn’t make it. now he doesn’t have to hold himself back any longer.

giorno giovanna: november 30th- the only reason he lasted as long as he did is because he’s a busy man, running the mafia and such. he didn’t have the time to worry about rearranging your guts while drugs plagued the streets of italy. don’t you worry though, once he manages to get a day off he will make sure your needs are properly taken care of.

mista guido: november 1st-the amount of self control this man has is close to none. if he starts to feel horny no matter where or when he will indulge in his urges. when you bring up the idea of no nut november to him he agrees in the beginning. but after a few hours he decides he doesn’t want to do it anymore. this man is fucking whipped and he is proud of it.

#jojo has ruined me #i can’t have normal thoughts ever again #not that i had them to begin with #i enjoy having jojo thots #jjba smut #jojos bizzare adventure #jojos bizarre adventure smut #jonathan jostar x reader #joseph jostar x reader #caeser zeppeli x reader #jotaro kujo x reader #noriaki kakyoin x reader #josuke higashikata x reader #okuyasu nijimura x reader #giorno giovanna x reader #guido mista x reader

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thesturniolos · 4 months

Text

glass ornaments

‧₊˚🎄✩ ₊˚🦌⊹♡

merry christmas my sweet babies ! 🎄

here’s my present to you:

more specifically, @freshlovehacker 🎁♡

summary: wholesome tooth-rotting fluff all about decorating the tree and just chris being chris, 1st and 3rd person.

warnings: none!

tags: @sturniolosluvv @sturnsblunt @chrisdevora @sosmatt @kirby0strombolli @stvrni0lo @floofparker @vqnillasturns @slut4chris @chrisolivia4l @silverlakee @freshlovehacker@plasticferal @chrisenthusiast @chrisluvbot @bluesturniolo333 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @mattscokewhore @iheartchrissturniolo @zooweemamas @sturniolotripletsarehot @mcttsturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @sturnsworld @qwertytit @putyoursemenonme @recklesssturniolo @silly-sturniolos @klarasmith @sturnvilmed @delusionalsturniologirl @thy-mission

christmas is notoriously the best time of the year, we all know this. twinkling lights, cold weather paired with cozy clothes, snowflakes, giving and receiving presents, ice skating, christmas markets, the mad panic in the stores, a long table on christmas day, the unison of families all around the world.

but the best thing of all? the build up. hanging the glass ornaments on the smallest branches of a christmas tree, praying they don’t fall and break. music from the radio plays in the background and people find themselves dancing around the tree to the beat of the song, smiling and soaking up the festivities.

and that was exactly what was happening at a certain person’s house on a cold evening in december.

snow lingered in the air and fell quietly onto the pavement, children squeezing their hands together praying for it to lay.

but in one specific house, an adult, who could be mistaken as a child for his immature ways, pressed his hands together wishing for his cookies to be a golden brown this year, for every holiday he found himself fanning the smoke out of the kitchen.

“i’ve got a good feeling about this one”

“we’d hope so- i don’t feel like having to apologise to the fire brigade again”

the couple stand in the kitchen, the girl holds a plate, ready for the cookies, whereas the boy finds himself wrapped up in a very messy apron.

“okay, i’m going in.” he scoops down and opens the oven door causing a smile to spread across his face as he reveals perfectly baked cookies.

“it worked! it actually worked!” i smile back at him and grab the tray from him so that in all the excitement he doesn’t accidentally burn himself, yes it has happened before.

“well done, baby. i told you you could do it, perhaps this year is your special year!”

“now we have the cookies we can get started on the tree, come on!” chris grabs my hand and pulls me slightly towards the living room.

“you’re not gonna decorate them?”

“we can do that laterrrr, i wanna decorate the tree not the cookies!”

i feel a tug on my hand again and this time it pulls my feet off the floor towards the pine tree.

we had just cut it down today, chris’ face was priceless, i don’t think i’ve ever seen him so happy. he left thanking me and repeating that it’s our first christmas together as a couple and he couldn’t be happier.

just last year, the two had been best friends, childhood best friends even, practically inseparable since birth and painfully in love for everybody to see.

and now they’re here, just as in love with a picture perfect house and everything they could possibly want.

“we need to get more ornaments, we haven’t got enough”

“we’ll have enough chris, we have tinsel and lights to put on as well. it doesn’t have to be full-“

“we need to go to target and get more.”

“chris, we do not need to go and get more. we’ve spent 350 already, do you want to pay the bills this month?”

he frowns at my response and crosses his arms, looking at the bare tree with one singular bauble hanging from a branch.

“we’ve not even started on it yet and you’re already sulking, come on you big baby.” i pull him up from the couch and pass him a plastic ornament.

he carefully places it near the top and looks back at me for approval. i nod and grab another for him.

before they knew it, the tree had been nearly fully decorated and much to chris’ complaints, the tree had barely any space left for any more ornaments or tinsel. although in saying that, a lot of the tinsel ended up wrapped around his neck and being whipped through the air as they paraded about to the songs.

“are we done? can we turn the lights on now?”

“you’ve forgotten the star, it’s the most important part of the tree.”

he jumps to grab it from my hands and balances on the side of the couch to reach and pushed it down onto the top of the branch before leaning back and jumping down excitedly.

“you can turn the lights on now.” i smile at him and he runs over to the outlet to illuminate the tree.

a festival of warm lights shine across our room and i find myself watching chris rather than the tree.

his reaction was enough to make my heart ache and as he turns to face me, i quickly link my arms around his neck.

“do you like it?” i ask, knowing he did most of the work and the result meant the most to him.

“i love it.” he looks back towards the tree and then reverts back to my hand where he brushes his thumb over the ring he gave me not long ago.

this was a moment the pair had been waiting for for a long time and it felt like a dream to them. for everyone else it may seem like a normal day in december but this was a memory that they had been wishing for, every night in the year from the age of 10.

i lean in to press my lips against his and he smiles into the kiss. his lips are warm and welcoming as his arm slides across my waist pulling me in closer, lifting me in the air slightly.

“i love you” he says, pulling away and looking me in the eyes.

“i love you too, chris.”

#matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #sturniolo #vinnie hacker #vinnie hacker imagines #vinnie hacker imagine #matt sturniolo fan fiction #matt sturniolo angst #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo angst #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo imagines #chris sturniolo fluff

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greenwitchcrafts · 5 months

Text

December 2023 witch guide

Full moon: December 26th

New moon: December 12th

Sabbats: Yule December 21st-January 1st

December Cold Moon

Known as: Drift Clearing Moon, Frost Exploding Tree Moon, Moon of the Popping Trees, Hoar Frost Moon, Snow Moon, Winter, Aerra Geola, Maker Moon, Heilagmanoth, Long Night's Moon, Oak Moon, Wintermonat, Moon of the Long Night, Little Spirit Moon, Wolf Moon & When the Deer Shed Their Antlers Moon

Element: Fire

Zodiac: Sagittarius & Capricorn

Nature spirits: Snow, Storm, & Winter Tree faeries

Deities: Athena, Fates, Hades, Hathor, Hecate, Ixchel, Minerva, Neith, Norns, Osiris & Persephone

Animals: Bear, deer, horse & mouse

Birds: Robin, rook & snowy owl

Trees: Fir, Holly & Pine

Herbs: Bay, cedar, chamomile, cinnamon, English ivy, evergreen, fir, frankincense, holly, mistletoe, myrrh, pine & sage

Flowers: Christmas catus, holly & poinsettia

Scents: Cedar, cinnamon, frankincense, ginger, lilac, myrrh, nutmeg, patchouli, pine, rose geranium, rosemary, saffron, violet & wintergreen

Stones: Bloodstone, blue topaz, cat's eye, garnet, jacinth, obsidian, peridot, turquoise, zircon, ruby & serpentine

Colors: Black, blood red, gold, green, red, silver, black & white

Energy: Alchemy, darkness, endurance, death & re-birth, higher education, publications, reaching out to others, religion, spiritual paths, travel & truth

Today, December’s full Moon is most commonly known as the Cold Moon—a Mohawk name that conveys the frigid conditions of this time of year, when cold weather truly begins to grip us.

This full Moon has also been called the Long Night Moon (Mohican), as it rises during the “longest” nights of the year, near the December winter solstice. This name is doubly fitting because December’s full Moon shines above the horizon for a more extended period than most full Moons.

In Europe, ancient pagans called the December full Moon the “Moon Before Yule,” in honor of the Yuletide festival celebrating the return of the sun heralded by winter solstice.

Yule

Also known as: Alban, Arthan & Winter Solstice

Season: Winter

Symbols: Baskets of clove studded fruit, Christmas catus, decorated evergreen trees, evergreen boughs, gifts, gold pillar candles, hung mistletoe, poinsettias, wreaths & Yule logs/small Yule log with three candles

Colors: Gold, green, orange, red, silver, white &yellow

Oils/incense: Bayberry, cedar, cinnamon, frankincense. Myrrh & pine

Animals: Bear, boar, deer (stag), pig, squirrel & tiger

Birds: Eagle, goose, kingfisher, lapwing, owl robin & wren

Stones: Bloodstone, garnet, ruby, alexandrite, blue topaz, cat's eye, citrine, clear quartz, diamond, emerald, green tourmaline, jet, kunzite & pearl

Foods: Caraway cakes, cookies, eggnog, fruits, ginger tea, nuts, pork, spiced cider, turkey, wassail & lamb's wool (ale, sugar, nutmeg & roasted apples)

Herbs/plants: Bay, bayberry, birch, blessed thistle, cedar, chestnut, cinnamon, evergreens, fir, frankincense, ginger, holly, ivy, juniper, mistletoe, moss, myrrh, oak, pine, rosemary, sage, valerian & yellow cedar

Flowers: Chamomile, poinsettia & yarrow

Goddesses: Alcyone, Aphrodite, Ameratasu, Bona Dea, Brighid, Cailleach Bheur, Demeter, Diana, Fortuna, Frau Holle, Frau Perchta, Frigga, Gaia, Hel, Great Mother, Idunn, Isis, Ishtar, Kolyada, La Befana, Maat & Tiamat

Gods: Apollo, Attis, Balder, Bragi, Dionysus, Divine Child, Green Man, Helios, Holly King, Horned one, Horus, Janus, Lord of Misrule, Lugh, Mabon, Marduk, Mithras, Odin, Ra, Saturn & Surya

Issues Intentions & Powers: Darkness, divination, light, messages/omens, purification, rebirth/renewal & transformation

Spellwork: Earth magick, happiness, harmony, love & peace

Activities:

• Set up & decorate a Yule altar

• Clean, organize & cleanse before decorating your home

• Make witch's balls to hang on your tree (protective & pretty!)

• Decorate & bless & Yule tree

• Stay awake until dawn to observe the cycles of nature

• Give gifts tomyour family & friends

• Donate your time or helpful items to charity

• Go caroling

• Hang mistletoe in your doorways

• Make Wassail

• Prepare a Yule Log

• Host a Yule feast

• Craft your own decorative wreath

• Decorate your house with Yule colored candles

• Welcome the Sun

• Go on nature walks & leave offerings to nature

• Meditate & reflect on the passing year

“Yule” comes from Old English geol, which shares a history with the equivalent word from Old Norse, jól. Both these words referred to a midwinter festival centered around the winter solstice, which traditionally marked the halfway point of the winter season. After the solstice—the shortest day of the year—the days again begin to grow longer, so it’s thought that Yule was a celebration of the re-appearance of the Sun &the fertile land’s rebirth.

The celebration of Yule is one of the oldest winter celebrations in the world. Ancient people were hunters & spent most of their time outdoors. The seasons & weather played a significant part in their lives. The customs and traditions associated with it vary widely.

Scholars have connected the original celebrations of Yule to the Wild Hunt, the god Odin, and the heathen Anglo-Saxon Mōdraniht ("Mothers' Night")

Some believe it marks the rebirth of the Sun (the God) from the Earth (the Goddess) & the cold days of winter will soon begin to wane. The Goddess is seen in her virgin Maiden aspect

In towns and cities throughout Sweden during the Christmas season, large goats are constructed out of straw. It is thought that the tradition originated in ancient times, perhaps as a tribute to the god Thor, who was said to ride in a chariot pulled by goats. In Sweden the goat came to be associated with the Christmas celebration, and the Yule goat is now considered by many to be a companion or counterpart to Santa Claus.

Related festivals:

Christmas- An annual festival commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ as the son of God, primarily observed on December 25th

Hanukkah- A Jewish festival commemorating the recovery of Jerusalem & subsequent rededication of the Second Temple at the beginning of the Maccabean Revolt against the Seleucid Empire in the 2nd century BCE.

Hanukkah is observed for eight nights & days, starting on the 25th day of Kislev according to the Hebrew calendar, which may occur at any time from late November to late December in the Gregorian calendar. The festival is observed by lighting the candles of a candelabrum with nine branches, commonly called a menorah or hanukkiah.

Kwanzaa- An annual celebration of African-American culture from December 26 to January 1st, culminating in a communal feast called Karamu, usually on the sixth day. It was created by activist Maulana Karenga, based on African harvest festival traditions from various parts of West & Southeast Africa. Kwanzaa was first celebrated in 1966.

A Kwanzaa ceremony may include drumming and musical selections, libations, a reading of the African Pledge & the Principles of Blackness, reflection on the Pan-African colors, a discussion of the African principle of the day or a chapter in African history, a candle-lighting ritual, artistic performance & finally, a feast of faith (Karamu Ya Imani).

Saturnalia-

is an ancient Roman festival and holiday in honour of the god Saturn, held on 17 December of the Julian calendar & later expanded with festivities through to 23 December. The holiday was celebrated with a sacrifice at the Temple of Saturn, in the Roman Forum & a public banquet, followed by private gift-giving, continual partying & a carnival atmosphere that overturned Roman social norms: gambling was permitted & masters provided table service for their slaves as it was seen as a time of liberty for both slaves and freedmen alike.

A common custom was the election of a "King of the Saturnalia", who gave orders to people, which were followed & presided over the merrymaking. The gifts exchanged were usually gag gifts or small figurines made of wax or pottery known as sigillaria. The poet Catullus called it "the best of days".

Other celebrations:

Feast of Epona-

Eponalia is the feast day of Gaulish Goddess Epona, the Divine Mare & in the time of the Roman Empire it was celebrated on December 18th.

Epona is known to be one of a very few Gaulish deities whose names were spread to the rest of the Roman Empire. This seems to have happened because Roman cavalry units stationed in Gaul followed Her & adopted her as their Patroness. This may have started because many of the cavalry troops were conscripted from Gaul as they were superb horsemen. From Gaul the Romans took Epona with them including to Rome where She was given her own feast day on the 18 December. They worshipped her as Epona Augusta or Epona Regina & invoked her on behalf of the Emperor. She even had a shrine in the barracks of the Imperial Bodyguard.

Hunting of the Wren-

A traditional custom carried out on the Isle of Man on the 26 December, St. Stephen's Day. It consists of groups of people going around villages and towns singing and dancing a traditional song and dance around a decorated wren pole.

The earliest and most common folklore story accounting for the origin of hunt the wren tells of a fairy/enchantress/witch whose beauty lures the men of the Isle of Man to harm, for which she is chased and is changed into the form of a wren. It is therefore in punishment for her actions that the wren is hunted on St. Stephen's Day

Sources:

Farmersalmanac.com

Llewellyn's Complete Book of Correspondences by Sandra Kines

A Witch's Book of Correspondences by Viktorija Briggs

Llewellyn's 2023 magical almanac: practical magic for everyday living

Wikipedia

Encyclopedia Britannica