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heyyyharry · 3 years

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Happier

(inspired by happier by Olivia Rodrigo)

Word count: 2.4k

I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

Part 1: Drivers License

Part 2: Deja Vu

A/N: I edited the original lyrics to match the POV :)

Harry had come up with a thousand scenarios of how this day would play out. Actually, he’d been thinking of this day since the moment he’d received the news. He didn’t dare to hope that she’d say yes to coming back for a sequel. He’d been sure that they would write her character off, give a lame excuse for how his love interest could not make a return and make his character forget about her completely to move on with a new girl in town. It would have been great if it was that easy in real life. Once someone was written off the script, they were gone for good. Real-life relationships were not that simple. Goodbye didn’t mean ‘never see you again’. You would still share the same friend circle and social bubbles, and it was worse when you two worked in the same industry. Harry didn’t know how he’d lasted a year without running into her, not since the Grammys.

“Didn’t you two date?”

“No.” Harry shook his head, but his eyes stayed glued on Y/N from across the room. She wasn’t looking his way, too busy saying hello to everyone else. “No,” he repeated, more to himself than to his co-star. “We didn’t.”

“But she wrote an entire album about you,” said the other twin. What was her name again? Lulu?

“Luna!” cried her sister, Lex. “You can’t ask him that!”

“No, it’s okay,” Harry said with a tight smile, slightly annoyed by the blonde twins, but he didn’t want to seem like an ass on the first day of filming. “And I don’t know if it was for me. You should ask Y/N.”

“Ask me what?”

Harry flinched when he looked up and saw Y/N padding towards them. She hugged the twins, who seemed way too excited. Harry guessed they were Y/N’s fans. They gave off crazy fangirl vibes, probably just pretending not to know the drama to interrogate him. He couldn’t blame them for assuming he was the villain and definitely could not blame Y/N for portraying him as one. It was more important that he knew who he was and how much he had changed since his last relationship. Maybe they could finally be friends.

“Were they bothering you?” Y/N asked him once the twins had left.

Harry nodded. “They’re your friends?”

“Oh, I met them last year on tour. I’m surprised you don’t know them. They were on Disney.”

“I don’t watch Disney,” Harry admitted with a smile. “Well, not today’s Disney.”

“Understandable.” Y/N nodded and bit her lip. She seemed guarded with her straight back and hands hidden behind her. She eyed him up and down, quite subtle yet noticeable. “How have you been?”

“Pretty good,” he said, nodding slowly. “You?”

“Yeah, but mostly tired because of tour.”

“You’re done?”

“Yup, last night was the last show.”

“Nice.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Nice?”

Harry blinked. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No.” Y/N giggled. “You still sound very...you.”

“Well, shouldn’t I?”

“Yeah, you should. But it’s been a year so…I mean, you haven’t changed much.”

“Right,” he said lowly, his eyes falling to his feet. Harry supposed he should say something else, perhaps bringing up another random topic to discuss, but all he could think about was what had happened between them. Things had been messy, hadn’t they? How could they go back to before that? Before her first song about him. Before he’d chosen someone else over her.

Or he could talk about her new relationship. She’d been in a happy relationship for almost six months, right? No wait, hadn’t they broke up two weeks ago? He wasn’t sure because he hadn’t been catching up. If they’d broken up, he’d sound like an ass to even mention her ex’s name. He should just stay quiet.

“I’ll see you later?” she said, gesturing at her stylist who was waiting by the door.

Harry could ask her right now -- the reason she’d agreed to film the sequel to their first movie together. He’d heard from a very reliable source that she’d specifically asked her agent to decline any project that he was in. So did this mean they were good? That she didn’t hate him anymore? He could have gathered his courage and got the answer right then…

“Yeah, see you.”

...but he didn’t.

And so she gave him a smile and a little wave, then happily returned to her stylist.

“See you tomorrow, Y/N!”

“See you, Annie!” Y/N said as she put the rest of her things into her tote bag. Her new driver had got her schedule mixed up, and so she had to wait here for another half an hour. She was in no rush. It had been a light first day, and she’d had a fun time getting to know the new cast members and catching up with old friends.

She sat on the sofa in the lobby, legs crossed, texting her best friend about her day. She’d purposely left out the short off-screen conversation with Harry, and her best friend didn’t even bother to ask. In their world, he didn’t exist, and his name was censored in every conversation like a curse word that was even worse than ‘cunt’. Nevertheless, she didn’t hate him anymore. She was doing just fine on her own, being busy with her career, and she’d been in a happy relationship after her fall out with him.

She and the guy, a model, had broken up two weeks ago due to long distance and some differences that they could not change. They had ended on good terms and decided to stay friends. They said you could only stay friends with your ex when you still had feelings for each other, or you had never loved each other that much in the first place. For her, it was probably the latter. Her previous relationship had been more platonic than romantic, apparently. So she had nothing but the best to say about him.

As she was going through her camera roll, just reminiscing about the past, she heard footsteps approaching and looked up to find Harry. He offered a smile and gestured to the spot beside her on the sofa. “May I sit here? My ride is late.”

“Yeah, sure.” She hurriedly scooted over.

“Good job today,” he said. “You were great.”

“Thanks, so were you.” She smiled, and they both looked away at the same time. This was so awkward. She hated small talk. She’d never had to have small talk with Harry. Conversations with him used to be so easy and natural and silly. Whatever this was, it wasn’t them.

“Can we just be normal?”

At first, Y/N thought she’d been the one who’d said it, so when she realised it’d been Harry, she was speechless.

He swallowed and sat a bit straighter, still not looking at her. “I don’t want us to be weird and awkward.”

“Okay,” she said.

He cleared his throat. “Wanna try again?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, not to sound like an ass but when Joey kept forgetting his lines, I was so pissed off, I could throw a chair at the wall.”

“Right?!” exclaimed Y/N, feeling free to have finally broken out of her shell. “Like, he doesn’t even have many lines. I know he’s new but damn...you can’t get far if you don’t learn your goddamn lines.”

Harry shook with laughter. “Oh God, we sound like dicks, don’t we?”

“Maybe.” Y/N laughed, covering her mouth. “But you know what? We can’t be nice in this industry. It’s impossible.”

“Shhh, if someone heard this, we would be into big trouble.”

“Oh please, I’ve had worse articles written about me than ‘Y/N speaks facts about her lazy co-star’.”

Harry tossed his head back and cackled. “The worst one I’ve got this week was ‘Harry Styles hates therapists.’”

“What?!” Y/N gasped. “No way! That’s so stupid!”

“Right?” Harry rolled his eyes. “I could get all my therapists to speak up for me but I’m kinda immune to bullshit now.”

“Therapists? Like plural?”

“Yeah, one in every city.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.”

Y/N rubbed her hands onto her legs. “Rough year?”

Harry’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he leaned back. “You have no idea.” Then he swept his hair out of his eyes, sucked in a breath, and finally looked at her. “I wish I could have talked to you, though.”

She bit her tongue, knowing what she was about to say next would disappoint her best friend so much, but she had to. “So do I.”

Harry looked taken aback before his lips curled into a smile. “It’s silly, isn’t it? I haven’t talked to you in a year, and I feel like I know everything that’s happened to you except that I don’t.”

What he’d just said might make no sense for most people, but Y/N knew exactly what he meant. She nodded and wetted her lip. “You only know as much as everyone else does.”

“Yeah, I got updates on you from the news and our friends.”

“Same.” Y/N smiled back. “I hate how they write articles about your new haircut but not mine.”

“I like your new hair colour.”

“Thanks. I like your new car.”

Then they both burst out laughing. It was fun and also a little bit strange that Y/N didn’t feel the same anxiety talking to him as she used to. It must be because they had grown and were now meeting again as better people.

“Damn, my ride's here,” Y/N said as she read the text from her driver. “I gotta go now.”

“Oh, okay.” Harry stood up and followed Y/N to the entrance. “Hey, just wondering--”

“Yeah?”

“Am I...am I still blocked?” He looked a bit flustered as she tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “On your phone. Because I remember you having my number blocked--”

“I unblocked you on your birthday.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” Y/N shrugged. “I should’ve sent you a happy birthday text but...I didn’t want your girlfriend to get the wrong ideas.”

“My ex.”

“Yeah, I know.”

They smiled at each other one last time before saying goodbye. Y/N knew it was silly, but she was hoping he would go after her.

Ding.

A notification popped up when she was in the car. She was almost home, and it was from Harry’s number. He’d sent her a link with a message that said, “Hope you like it :)”.

Curious, she tapped on it and was directed to an audio file titled ‘Track 5’. The upload date was last year. About two weeks after their short conversation at the Grammys.

Hurriedly, she fumbled inside her bag for her iPods and put it on before she pressed play.

“Hey, Jeff, I couldn’t sleep so I wrote this song. Listen and let me know if it should go on the album.”

Then came the piano intro. It sounded good, so Y/N wondered how it hadn’t ended up on his last album.

But when he started to sing...

We ended a while ago Your friends are mine, you know, I know You've moved on, found someone new One more guy who brings out the better in you

And I thought my heart was detached From all the sunlight of our past But he’s so nice, he’s so funny Does he mean you forgot about me?

Oh, I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

And does he tell you you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen? An eternal love bullshit he might not even mean Remember when you were with me I meant it when you heard it first from me

And now I'm pickin' him apart Like cuttin' him down will make you miss my wretched heart But he’s charming, he looks kind He probably gives you butterflies

I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better

I hope you're happy I wish you all the best, really Say you love him, baby Just not like you loved me And think of me fondly when your hands are on him I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

The song was for her. He’d written it when her new relationship had gone public. Y/N sat there, staring blankly ahead until the honking of a car tore open her inner peace, and reality came crashing back in. The driver dropped her off at her house. Instead of going inside, she stood on her front steps and replayed the song one more time. When it ended, she decided to text him: Why didn’t this make it to the album?

She didn’t know where he was now, but it showed ‘typing’ in less than a second, as if he’d been waiting in their chat since he’d sent that link.

You would’ve hated me, Y/N.

True, she replied. Still, I would’ve loved the song lowkey. And added, I love it btw.

He took so long to type that it was driving her crazy. She flopped down on the concrete stair with her phone clutched in her hands, her heart thundering against her ribcage. Anxiety popped like a balloon when his message appeared: Were you happier?

She reread it again and again.

No.

I wasn’t either, he responded. I kept getting deja vu.

Ha, nice reference.

That song is my guilty pleasure. Love listening to you roasting me on loop.

That last message made Y/N bury her face into her palm and giggle like a fool. She thought for a second and wrote: I could come roast you in person now if that’s what you prefer. I think we’ve never had a proper roasting.

Can we meet, Y/N? Or are you busy now?

No, not busy.

Great, I’ll pick you up.

Just tell me where, she responded with a smile on her face. I got my drivers license now :)

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic

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fatoujallovv · 3 years

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a smooch on the forehead from me and lulu before we get started 😚

I'm so so happy that I finally decided to become active here over the summer because I have made amazing friends and being here has brought so so much positivity and joy to my life 🥺💛 without all the mutuals and followers I’ve gained this year, without learning to gif and experimenting with making all types of creations, I definitely wouldn’t have made it to the point now where I can confidently say that I am working towards being the happiest I’ve ever been. thank you all so so much, I love every last one of you endlessly 💛💛💛💛

my first thank you to @luxandobscurus and @lucasotteli for becoming my very best friends this year. I can’t imagine life without our insane late night chats and your endless support, im lov u both with my entire heart you deserve only amazing things always.

next thank you to all the lovely people I met through caro’s lil discord server, the ael server, and brocsquad for being amazing lovely groups of people who have been so so fun to talk to 🥺💛💛💛 I know I'm not the best at being active in big groups but I love you all even if I don’t interact much 🥺💗

lets be friends server @dreamaur (I love you more than life itself ann never stop being your incredible self) @alwayskissmeatnight (you’re the most supportive and protective momma bear and I love being mutuals with you so so much) @kieunora (the most talented big brained queen here) @kritiquer @alterlovex @rosesunrise @demauryss @blanxkey @thegirlnooneknows5 @grey-mist-exist @saltyflowr @tawmlinsun

ael server @kieumyvus (thank you for helping this novice giffer learn the ropes and being so welcoming and willing to offer advice and help to everyone 💛💛) @womenstan (thank you for my birthday gifset I still can't believe you made it for me you’re the sweetest of all time!!) @veerledejaegers @noramachwtz @norangensft @lallemcnt @lolasluquette @lesbianfatous @soluxogobsc @bi-isa-keijser @lucakuloo

brocsquad @lieverobbe (my very first tumblr friend ily em I hope the uni life is treating you well 💛💛💛) @jensrolt (the sweetest angel fairy lady in the world thank you for blessing us with your amazing bright spirit) @kingarthurpendragons (my soulmate I love and miss you so much 🥺💗) @to-enter-polaris (most talented gif maker and sweetest soul. sarah I love you forever thank you once again for my film posters in case you haven’t heard I love them) @sonderthroughthestreets (I'll always remember how lovely you were in my first few weeks on tumblr and how excited you were that ‘something like a sunflower ellie!!!’ joined brocsquad 🥺 ily) @gucciboner @sanabakkoushd @ayarambles @thenerd10 @franboos @theflowerisblue @earthling-isa @engelkeijsers @dagcutie @welcometo-saturn

shoutout to @ffriluftslivv (my angel I adore you to the ends of the earth) @isakyaqi (I loved getting to know you better when we did our rewatch 🥺💛) @eliotts-eyes (my fellow greekling name twin! ily so much!) @misunderstoododdity @katzen-kinder @evilhersxlf @nachtumringt @lololil @mailinrichter @alcxmcrcer @lifeisevak @sunflouwermoon @germericangirl @briallenko @awake-dreamer18 for being the sweetest kindest ever I love interacting with all of you and I consider you all good friends 🥺💛💗

more spectacular funny/super cool/kind/incredibly talented people I love to see on my dash!! @alexauriant @avaceleste @lepetitepeach @lallemanting @nyttvera @zoesrobbe @tsjernobyl @sander-klaas @cash-queens @howlingsaturn @vanillalipstick66 @lux-fleur @racoons-hedgehogs-and-pixiedust @ijzermanora @jebentnietalleen @polarisrodulv @bethisneckdeep @fatoujallow @perfectsilence22

if I forgot you I'm so so sorry 🥺 I’m really dumb so if I went thru my following/followers list and saw your main but forgot that's you because I only know ur side blog or something I still love u and appreciate you so much 🥺💛 thank you all whether you made content that I loved, sent me an ask that made me smile, made me creations for my birthday, reblogged my gifsets, had a chaotic conversation with me late at night, or even if we’ve never interacted at all. I'm so so grateful to be here with you guys!!!! happy new year 💗💗💗💗💗

#whew im gettin emotional out here #I love you guys!!! sorry that some of you guys are already in 2021 I still have like ten hours and I forgot it would be too late for people #*eleven hours wow I can't even count #mutuals love #goodbye 2020 🥳

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loudlyunladylike · 2 years

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I just wanna add on a bit to my last ask:

Like I said, I have very very bad social anxiety, so meeting someone I can talk to and not feel too anxious is such a nice feeling. IRL relationships are hard for me and I dont have a lot of them. Online friends are always much easier for me to stay connected with but I think you're one of the longest online friends I've had and the one I talk to the most. Although I am always nervous that I'm bothering you or your followers by sending so many asks, you're very easy to talk to and I love when we have a conversation or when you're just replying to an ask I sent. I love sharing stuff with you and seeing you liked it, it makes me so happy inside. My social anxiety is not as bad with you. I can talk to you through the ask box so much better than I ever can IRL or even in discord.

Anyways, that's all to say thank you so much for being yourself. You've made such an amazing little corner of the internet and I'm glad to be a part of it. It's so happy and accepting and warm here. You and the anons and your mutuals are all so nice. It feels like a family here. A home,,

Thank you so much for existing, Lulu. I love you <3 /p

(Sorry if this is weird or like,, too personal. You don't have to answer it if it's too uncomfortable or you just don't want to. You could also delete it if you just wanna read it and not answer. Whatever you wanna do is fine with me :) again I'm very sorry if this is getting uncomfortable or.. parasocial like I guess? I don't think its parasocial cause I'm not seeing you like a pedestal or anything, you're just a friend I met online that I wanna show how much I love you [/p] and how much I appreciate you and how much you mean to me and how much I just want you to know you're such an amazing person. Sorry went off on a tangent, I'll go now and hide in a corner and hope you don't think I'm weird ha..ha..ha..... bye lulu!)

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I am holding this ask very closely ;-; I'm glad I've been able to make a little comfy corner of the internet, just AWW!!! Thank you, I feel like I'm reading one of those big birthday cards with a big paragraph and glitter falling out of it

#ask box #💧anon #this is so sweet wtf ;-; ;-; ;-;

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heartriki · 3 years

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY LULU 🥳 🎂 ✨💃🏽

sorry if this is too late, but i wish the best and so much good vibes and health to come ur way 🥰💕💖 thank u so much for ur support when i got into gifmaking for the first time! i remember i followed ur blog from one main and i was so happy i got noticed by u. kdskdk 💕 since then i’m always grateful to have u on my dash and as a mutual! thank u for existing, and i’m sending u lots of love 💕💖💞

awww montse 🥺🧡 thank YOU so much 🥺🧡 for the support for my content and also just . being such a great person :(( im so happy to have u around honestly AND to be able to see the start of ur gifmaking !! youve just been AMAZING since day one tbfh 😚 AND that it makes u that happy that i like. Noticed u difkdjdkfjdj pls stop ure giving me such a huge ego boost 😳🤚🏽 thank you for this message im 🥺🥺🥺🥺🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

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fairiesnova · 4 years

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Closer

Re-uploading my old works #2. This is the 2nd fairy tail fanfic I’ve written. Warnings for alcohol

Life was a bitch. It lures you in with hope and false promises only to leave you in a shitty bar moaning over your overdue rent.

“Another one hun?”

Lucy turned her attention from her drink to the bartender. A sweet woman named Mirajane worked the same nights Lucy was dragged to this bar by Natsu. Usually the two would spend hours chatting in-between Mira serving customers, but that wasn’t the case tonight. Tonight, Lucy was full of despair and she didn’t want to take her bitterness out on Mirajane.

“No, I should probably slow down a bit.” Lucy answered while forcing a smile.

“Yes you probably should,” Mira teased. "You’ve only been here for a hour and you're almost near your limit.”

Lucy blushed in embarrassment. Lucy isn’t a heavy drinker, but she did get carried away sometimes. After one particularly bad night, she asked Mira to limit her to no more than 5 drinks in one evening. It was usually rare for her to have more than 3 drinks, and never so early in the night. Mira knew this better than anyone which is why her expression changed from teasing to worried.

“Is everything okay Lucy? I haven’t seen you look this down in months?”

Lucy pushed her drink away while answering, “My landlord raised my rent again. I thought I could still afford it but Natsu’s birthday was around the time it was due, and I ended up spending too much on his gift. I couldn’t pay all of my rent, so I still have to pay a late fee as well as the rest of the amount.”

Mira leaned over the bar to squeeze Lucy’s hand in comfort. “Don’t worry Lucy, I’m sure everything will work out okay.”

She tried to smile back at her, but it came out more of a grimace. “I hope so. I really don’t want to go back to living with Natsu and the guys.” Lucy hopped off the bar stool. “Thanks for the talk Mirajane, but I probably shouldn’t stay so close to the bar. Drowning my worries in alcohol is too expensive. If I keep buying drinks, I’m going to end up homeless.”

“Well you could always get someone else to buy drinks for you.” Mira winked. “There’s plenty of guys and girls here that would buy every bottle off the shelf just to get a chance with you.”

Lucy laughed and waved her goodbye while she left the bar. She walked towards the crowd of swaying bodies hoping to find a head of pink hair, only to be blocked by the sheer number of people. The bar hired a band to play that night. Lucy never heard of them, but they must have been popular to draw such a large crowd. Nevertheless, Lucy looked around for a chair or stool she could stand on to get a better view.

“Lucy? Is that you?”

Lucy froze. A feeling of dread filled her stomach.

“Lucy.”

A soft hand reached out and touched her shoulder. She glanced at the person out of the corner of eye.

When she saw blue hair, she immediately turned away.

“Nope! Sorry, it looks like you got the wrong person.” She tried to walk away but the grip on her shoulder tightened.

“Lulu, I know that’s you.”

Lucy gritted her teeth and turned to face the other woman.

“Don’t call me that!” She hissed. “What do you want Juvia?”

Juvia looked shocked at her outburst before a look of understanding crossed her face. She played with the hem of her dark blue dress before answering. “Lulu isn’t still mad at Juvia, is she?”

Lucy crossed her arms. “It’s Lucy. And no, I’m not mad at you Juvia. Why would you think that?”

“Because you sound angry.” Juvia muttered. She let go of her dress to clasp Lucy’s hand in her own. “If Lucy isn’t angry with Juvia, then can they talk?”

Despite everything, Lucy still felt her heart flutter at the sight of her hand in Juvia’s. The other woman was looking at her with such a hopeful look, one that always caused butterflies to fly in Lucy’s stomach. That’s the same look Juvia had when she asked her out all those years ago.

“Fine, we can talk. But only for a few minutes.”

Juvia smiled and tighten her grip on the hand still clasped in hers. She led the blonde through the crowd and towards the door. Lucy noticed the awed looks people were giving Juvia but shrugged it off. Juvia always got strange looks when they went out.

The two stepped out of the front door and stopped in the parking lot.

“Juvia thinks you look really nice tonight Lucy.”

“Can you stop doing that.” Lucy muttered even though her traitorous cheeks warmed at the compliment.

“Stop doing what?”

“Talking in the 3rd person.”

Juvia tilted her head in confusion. “But you always liked it when I did that. You said it was cute.”

Lucy looked away. “That was 4 years ago Juvia, things change in that amount of time.”

A heavy silence fell before Juvia broke it. “So, you are upset with me.” Her somber tone made this seem more of a statement than a question.

“Well yeah a little.” Lucy let go of the other girl's hand while stepping backwards. “Can you blame me? I haven’t heard from you in 4 years Juvia.”

Juvia bit her lip. “I left you a text message.”

Those words made Lucy’s blood boil. Maybe it was the alcohol, combined with the stress she felt all week because of her landlord, but she felt something inside of her snap. “I loved you Juvia and you left without a word!” Lucy’s voice broke as she choked back tears. “You didn’t even say goodbye. Did our time together mean anything to you?”

“Lucy.” A hand reached out to re-intertwine their fingers. Juvia pulled her closer. “Lucy please look at me. Please!”

When Lucy finally faced her, she was surprised to find tears streaming down the bluenette’s face. “I never meant to hurt you Lulu.”

“Then why did you leave me?” Lucy whispered.

“To find myself.” Juvia whispered back. She tugged on Lucy’s hand again and pulled the other woman closer. She didn’t stop until Lucy was fully in her arms.

Then, she pressed her forehead against the blonde’s and started her story.

“Do you remember how we first met?”

Lucy couldn’t help but smile at the memory. “How could I forget? You thought I was flirting with the guy you liked so you followed me around for an entire week screaming that I was your ‘love rival’.”

Juvia hummed with a blush of embarrassment. “And do you remember what happened after that?”

“Yeah. I got tired of you stalking me, so I invited you over for dinner.”

“I never did ask you why you did that.”

“Because I thought you needed it.” Lucy smiled, getting lost in her memories. “It was the start of our first year at university. Everyone was so nervous and trying to make friends. I thought that maybe you wanted friends too, but you didn’t know how to get them.”

The blush on Juvia’s cheeks darkened. “Lucy, that was the first time anyone had ever done anything nice for me. I never had a friend before, and I never received such kindness from a stranger. We formed a bond that night which caused strange thoughts to irrupt within me. I kept thinking that I wanted to be more like you. Kind, caring, compassionate, beautiful. I thought that if I could be all those things, I would finally be happy. I keep trying to get close to you, so I could learn how to be all those things, but then something within me changed. I started to enjoy spending time with you. And then I started to fall in love with you. I thought that someone like you could never fall for someone like me, but to my surprise, you did.” Juvia paused in her story to let out a joyless smile at the shocked look on Lucy’s face. “I was ecstatic when we started going out. I was so in love with you Lucy, please believe me on that. But then those thoughts start to plague my mind again. I couldn’t understand why such a beautiful and amazing person like you would have feelings for someone like me. I figured it was only a matter of time before you realized you could do better than me. I realized that the only way to better myself would be to go on a soul-searching journey to figure out who I was. I didn’t think I would be gone for so long but obviously I was wrong.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” Lucy interrupted. She knew that Juvia struggled with insecurities, but she never imagined that it affected her that much. The realization that her girlfriend was fighting internal battles without Lucy being there to offer support hurt her deeply.

“I didn’t want you to realize how imperfect I was.” It was then that Lucy realized she was crying again. “But it doesn’t matter now. It’s been 4 years Lucy and I’m still the broken mess I was when I left. I haven’t changed or grown at all. I thought leaving would save our relationship but all I did was make you hate me.”

“Juvia! Our relationship was never in danger!” Lucy leaned in close to brush her lips against Juvia’s. “And I could never hate you.”

Juvia froze. “But you’re upset with me!”

“Of course, I’m upset with you! You should have told me about all this.” Lucy wrapped her arms around Juvia’s waist. “I’m not perfect either Juvia. No one is. And we’re still young! I don’t think anyone truly knows who they are at our age. And that’s okay because we have plenty of time to figure it out.” She squeezed their hands. “And we could do that together Juvia. You don’t have to do things on your own anymore.”

“Lucy…” Juvia whispered before pulling her into a tight hug. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Lucy.”

“I know.” Lucy whispered back.

In that moment, everything surrounding the two disappeared. The parking lot, the music from the bar, even the stress that had been bottling up inside of Lucy vanished. At that moment, nothing existed outside the two women trying to get back what was broken years ago.

“Hold me close tonight; even if it is just for tonight. Please Juvia, I need to feel you.”

“Lulu,” Juvia smiled. “I finally have you back in my arms. I’m never letting you go again.”

#luvia #lucy x juvia #lucy heartfillia #juvia lockser #ftlgbtales #ftlgbtfics #femslash fairies #my writing #my post

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lavender-hemlock · 5 years

Text

Never-ending survey: Haine

RULES: Repost, do not reblog. Tag 10 blogs!

tagged by: @violet-warder, @captainkurosolaire, @kyrie-silverwings, @lareine-kira - Thank you! tagging: @kazexvoss, @fair-fae, @hingan-fox, @trc-xiv, @lightdevoid, @ofloveandaether, @ember-arrow, @finishing-touch, @card-and-flame, @caewen-ffxiv, @palaceofthedeadmemes, @aurorahawklight, @lulu-ffxiv.

BASICS.

FULL NAME : Haine Reverent

NICKNAME : Lav, Lilac, Reverent.

AGE : 27

BIRTHDAY : 7th Sun of the 5th Umbral Moon

ETHNIC GROUP : Hyur (Midlander)

NATIONALITY : Ishgardian (?)

LANGUAGE / S :Common, sparse allagan

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Pansexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Heteromantic.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS : Single.

HOME TOWN / AREA : Ishgard

CURRENT HOME : Shirogane, small.

PROFESSION : Smuggler, Black Market Trader.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR : Naturally brown, dyed lavender/lilac. Mid-back length.

EYES : Gold. Typically half-lidded as though bored.

FACE : Stoic with flickers of amusement, or suddenly smug.

LIPS : Full

COMPLEXION : Porcelain.

BLEMISHES : Birthmark on her lower left hip.

SCARS : Claw marks from the underside of her mid-forearm from a Torama. Bullet wound in her right thigh’s outter side.

TATTOOS : N/A

HEIGHT : 5′5

WEIGHT : Average.

BUILD : Lithe.

FEATURES : Piercing eyes, round nose, and heart shaped face.

ALLERGIES : None.

USUAL HAIR STYLE : Typically left alone to hang down her backside freely. Known to tie it up or into a braid when she knows things are going to get tough.

USUAL FACE LOOK : Eyeliner along the topside.

USUAL CLOTHING : Casual. Tucked in blouses, button-up shirts, trousers, and knee-high boots. Haine typically takes a leather/lace approach. She looks more like a fencer than a caster. Sharp nails.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S : Revealed truths, loss (platonic, relationship, etc.)

ASPIRATION / S : To craft the most elaborate and devastating poison, and create a cure for that poison.

POSITIVE TRAITS : Perceptive, analytical, adaptive, cunning.

NEGATIVE TRAITS : Stubborn, temperamental, suspicious, arrogant.

MBTI : INFJ

ZODIAC / (Guardian) : Libra / Halone, the Fury

TEMPERAMENT : Choleric

SOUL TYPE / S : The Mage

ANIMALS : Cat.

VICE HABIT / S : Substance abuse - Drugs, smoking. Drinking. Curiosity.

FAITH : She lost her belief long ago.

GHOSTS ? : Yes.

AFTERLIFE ? : Not really.

REINCARNATION ? : No.

ALIENS ? : No.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : She believes any government is corrupt either at the top or all throughout the hierarchy.

EDUCATION LEVEL : Educated. Haine was raised with special tutors to ensure she had the finest upbringing in the arts of etiquette. All put to waste.

FATHER : Aevar Valenthe. Last child of the Valenthe name, noble merchant. Deceased.

MOTHERS : Danica Valenthe. Daughter of the Silbyrn family, disowned. Unknown if alive or deceased.

SIBLINGS : None.

EXTENDED FAMILY : Her mother was disowned from her family upon running off with Haine’s biological father due to status of wealth. On her father’s side, no family members were ever mentioned.

NAME MEANING / S : Ianthe - Purple flower.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? : No.

FAVORITES.

BOOK : Old and dusty tomes of ancient civilizations. Ancient magic.

DEITY : None.

HOLIDAY : Starlight.

MONTH : October.

SEASON : Winter.

PLACE : Home among the comforts of books, bedding, and plants alike.

WEATHER : Cloudy, overcast.

SOUND / S: Rolling thunder and crashing waves.

SCENT / S : Black rum, mint, leather.

TASTE / S : Coffee, chocolate, rum.

FEEL / S : Fur.

ANIMAL / S : Coeurls, cats, dogs, owls.

NUMBER : 7, 13.

COLORS : Purple, gold, green.

EXTRA.

TALENTS : Guessing/gambling, quick learner, silver-tongued.

BAD AT : Maintaining balance when it matters, trust.

TURN ONS : Piercing eyes, calm/suave personality, confidence, rugged exterior, soft exchanges.

TURN OFFS : Attention seeking, whiny, clingy.

HOBBIES : Alchemy, gardening, reading, traveling.

TROPES : True Neutral, Career Criminal, Lovable Rogue, Magician.

QUOTES : “I am a remnant of my past, and a manifestation of who I must be.”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?

A1 : Reverent Ties. It would probably have a dramatic air of sudden drama, action, or empathy. The movie would be about the main basis of Haine’s origin and how she deals with resolving it.

Q2 : What would their soundtrack/score sound like?

A2 : A roll of piano keys that plays along side a music box during flashbacks of her childhood despite the darker themes. Violin scores during most of the present time themes.

Q3 : Why did you start writing this character?

A3 : There’s no easier way to put this- I wrote Haine to be a better version of myself 10+ years ago. Haine has existed in several universes, led so many lives, and has so many stories to tell. She is my pride and joy in the writing I love. In FFXIV, Haine has taken her own path that separates from me, and I’m happy about it. I had already grown to be strong like her.

Q4 : What first attracted you to this character?

A4 : Haine is my go to in every new thing I dive into. She’s my comfort pick that evolves and continues to remain the most complex thing I create. She never grows old for me, and I just love her. The only thing similar each time she is reborn? Her lavender hair.

Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 : Hrm.. I would have to say her fickle attitude towards people. It makes some match-ups hard. She can either be loving and welcoming if her heart is provoked, or she can be a viper. My child is just angry, it’s nothing personal.

Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse?

A6 : Haine and I share the ability to be empathetic. It can be the one way to feel, and the main way to understand. See past the lines and feel what the other feels. Be what you need to.

Q7 : How does your muse feel about you?

A7 : Haine probably feels proud, but annoyed with me. I think my muse is still the personification of strength in several ways. She would probably criticize me for the moments I falter, but encourage me more than anything to keep going.

Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?

A8 : Haine has had quite a few interesting interactions. There are characters that bring out her best- and characters that bring out her worst. It’s fun to me to see how she is influenced as a true neutral character and how morally grey she can be.

Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse ?

A9 : A lot of music ranging from piano, violin, or OSTs from movies. Deep characters with complex emotions.

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?

A10 : I started this probably... four days ago? I got sick, and this was sitting in my drafts. I’m still sick, but I figured I might as well kick this out the door.

#H.R. aesthetic #TAPROMPTS #ffxiv rp #never-ending survey

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card-and-flame · 5 years

Text

Neverending Survey - Ravard

RULES: Repost, do not reblog. Tag 10 blogs!

tagged by: @lavender-hemlock, @alannah-corvaine tagging: @feathers-and-fantasies, @nijah-wolff-ffxiv, @elu-delouche, @eaotheelf, @celestial-benediction, @ash-like-snow-xiv, @miqojak, @moonlit-endeavors, @trc-xiv, @whisperingdawn

BASICS.

FULL NAME : Ravard Kasun

NICKNAME : Rav, Enigma, Ravvy (use at your own risk)

AGE : 30

BIRTHDAY : 26th Sun of the 3rd Umbral Moon

ETHNIC GROUP : Hyur (Midlander)

NATIONALITY : Ul’dahn

LANGUAGE / S : Common, Mhachi, Amdapori (read only)

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Pansexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Heteromantic.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS : In a relationship.

HOME TOWN / AREA : Ul’dah

CURRENT HOME : Dravania

PROFESSION : Gambler, Black Market Trader, Relic Hunter

PHYSICAL.

HAIR : Raven black, medium length and messy

EYES : Pale green, always watchful

FACE : Roguishly handsome, constantly smirking confidently.

LIPS : Average

COMPLEXION : Tanned

BLEMISHES : None

SCARS : Left cheek from his jawline towards his nose, several crossing his torso.

TATTOOS : Full arm sleeves of various Mhachi sigils, covered by glamours.

HEIGHT : 5′10

WEIGHT : Average.

BUILD : Athletic.

FEATURES : Scruffy beard, piercing eyes, .

ALLERGIES : None.

USUAL HAIR STYLE : Barely styled, usually left to fall as it will. Generally framing his face.

USUAL FACE LOOK : Confident or amused.

USUAL CLOTHING : Situational. When in city-states generally dresses up in suits or at least higher quality clothing. When out traveling, generally dresses comfortably in loose clothing he doesn’t mind getting dirty.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S : Powerlessness, Loss of control, Loss in general

ASPIRATION / S : To attain true understanding of magics both mundane and forbidden. To acquire enough wealth that he won’t have to ever live as he did as a child again.

POSITIVE TRAITS : Intelligent, charismatic, outgoing, quick-witted

NEGATIVE TRAITS : Arrogant, greedy, distrustful, vengeful

MBTI : ENTP

ZODIAC / (Guardian) : Cancer / Thaliak, the Scholar

TEMPERAMENT : Choleric

SOUL TYPE / S : The Scholar

ANIMALS : Crows

VICE HABIT / S : Smoking, drinking, gambling, stealing

FAITH : Disciple of Nald’thal

GHOSTS ? : Yes.

AFTERLIFE ? : Not fully.

REINCARNATION ? : No.

ALIENS ? : No.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : They’re all corrupt in some way, shape or form.

EDUCATION LEVEL : Self-educated until age eight. Taught by the Ossuary until age 16. Self-educated in the time since. Considers himself constantly learning.

FATHER : Lukas Kasun, lives in Ul’dah with his wife.

MOTHER : Carina Kasun, lives in Ul’dah with her husband.

SIBLINGS : Elias Kasun, younger brother, Sultansworn, lives in Ul’dah.

EXTENDED FAMILY : Aunts and Uncles he’s never met, likely cousins too.

NAME MEANING / S : Kasun - To order, To command

HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? : No.

FAVORITES.

BOOK : Ancient primers on forbidden schools of magic. Books on history or philosophy.

DEITY : Nald’thal.

HOLIDAY : All Saint’s Wake

MONTH : October.

SEASON : Autumn.

PLACE : Dravanian Forelands.

WEATHER : Rain.

SOUND / S: Crackling fire, gravel.

SCENT / S : Lavender, whiskey, rain.

TASTE / S : Whiskey, homemade stews, cakes.

FEEL / S : Silk, cool breezes, fire

ANIMAL / S : Crows, apkallu, wolves.

NUMBER : 8, 15

COLORS : Black, white, red

EXTRA.

TALENTS : Gambling, sleight of hand, quick-witted.

BAD AT : Conjury, accepting defeat, trusting people.

TURN ONS : Intelligence, quick wit, warm smiles, soft words, mutual respect, confidence.

TURN OFFS : Fools, second-guessing, willful ignorance, disrespect, whining.

HOBBIES : Reading, gambling, magic, adventuring, sleeping.

TROPES : Sorcerer, Career Criminal, The Gambler

QUOTES : “I didn’t come this far to only come this far.”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?

A1 : It would likely be an action/adventure with a lot of dark, sarcastic comedy. It would definitely be an origin story, starting somewhere around the end of his time in the Ossuary with intermittent flashbacks to his youth, up to close to current day. As for what it would be called? Probably something silly, like The Fire of Knowledge. Or Nald’thal’s Flame. Definitely something fire related.

Q2 : What would their soundtrack/score sound like?

A2 : There wouldn’t be any one genre that would be featured, instead having a pleasant blend of just about everything from emotional instrumentals, up to heavy metal that you can feel rattling your bones.

Q3 : Why did you start writing this character?

A3 : So, Rav’s not my first character in FFXIV. I ended up switching to him for personal reasons (nothing bad, promise!), and wrote him to be something new for me to work with. More laid back, more morally ambiguous (than an already morally ambiguous character, but that’s besides the point). As I’ve written him more and more I’ve come to enjoy him quite a lot. He’s more charismatic and manipulative than characters I’ve played before and I’m honestly having a blast.

Q4 : What first attracted you to this character?

A4 : Ravard was a new direction for me to explore in RP. I’ve been RPing for literally over half my life, but my characters were always the same general type. Ravard was something new and exciting to try.

Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 : I don’t really enjoy how much of an isolationist he really is. He’s outgoing enough that he can start and carry on a conversation. He’s capable of making friends, but to date he generally prefers to be alone with the exception of one or two people in his life that he goes out of his way to spend time with. Part of that could be the fact he generally thinks most people are idiots and a waste of time unless he can make money off them, but that’s a whole different can of worms to open.

Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse?

A6 : We both have had a hard time feeling like there’s any one place that could be considered ‘home’. There’s places that are good stop-offs but nothing that’s truly felt ‘right’. We both find solace in people, rather than places. We also both enjoy solitude and time to ourselves with our thoughts.

Q7 : How does your muse feel about you?

A7 : He honestly probably would see me as a potential mark to steal from at first. Once he got to know me, we’d probably get along decently well. We have a similar innate sense of humor and world view. He’s just.. a lot more vocal, and more willing to break the law.

Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?

A8 : Anyone who can carry on a decent conversation in regards to magic, history or philosophy. Despite being primarily self taught, he is actually extremely well read and enjoys intelligence in the people he associates with. He’d also be interested in meeting business partners or simply people who need something done that may not be entirely above board.

Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse ?

A9 : A lot of it comes from the music I listen to. I also genuinely enjoy telling the story of the morally questionable mage who found a way to turn luck and fate to his side. Even if he personally states he doesn’t believe in luck or fate. If I have someone interesting to RP with, too? Inspiration galore.

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?

A10 : Six days. Though I had everything but the mun questions done on day three.

#ravard kasun #ffxiv memes #would you like to take a survey #don't let your memes be dreams #rp survey #rp memes #surveys

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xnovamore · 6 years

Text

Closer

Read On Ao3

Life was a bitch. It lures you in with hope and false promises only to leave you in a shitty bar moaning over your overdue rent.

“Another one hun?”

Lucy turned her attention from her drink to the bartender. A sweet woman named Mirajane worked the same nights Lucy was dragged to the bar by Natsu. Usually the two would spend hours chatting in-between Mira serving customers, but that wasn’t the case tonight. Tonight, Lucy was full of despair and she didn’t want to take her bitterness out on Mirajane.

“No, I should probably slow down a bit.” Lucy answered while forcing a smile.

“Yeah you probably should,” Mira teased. "You’ve only been here for an hour and you're almost near your limit.”

Lucy blushed in embarrassment. Lucy isn’t a heavy drinker, but she did get carried away sometimes. After one particularly bad night, she asked Mira to limit her to no more than 6 drinks. It was usually rare for her to have more than 3 drinks, and never so early in the night. Mira knew this better than anyone which is why her expression changed from teasing to worried.

“Is everything okay Lucy? I haven’t seen you look this down in months?”

Lucy pushed her drink away while answering, “My landlord raised my rent again. I thought I could still afford it but Natsu’s birthday was around the time it was due, and I ended up spending a bit too much on his gift. I couldn’t pay all of it, so I still have to pay a late fee as well as the rest of the amount.”

Mira leaned over the bar to squeeze Lucy’s hand in comfort. “Don’t worry Lucy. I’m sure everything will work out okay.”

“Well you could always get someone else to buy drinks for you.” Mira winked. “There’s plenty of guys and girls here that would buy every bottle off the shelf just to get a chance with you.”

“Lucy? Is that you?” Lucy froze. A feeling of dread filled her stomach.

“Lucy.” A soft hand reached out and touched her shoulder. She glanced at the person out of the corner of eye.

When she saw the blue hair, she immediately turned away.

“Nope! Sorry, it looks like you got the wrong person.” She tried to walk away but the grip on her shoulder tightened.

“Lulu, I know that’s you.” Lucy gritted her teeth and turned to face the other woman.

“Don’t call me that!” She hissed. “What do you want Juvia?”

Juvia looked shocked at her outburst before a look of understanding crossed her face. She played with the hem of her dark blue dress before answering. “Lulu isn’t still mad at Juvia, is she?”

Lucy crossed her arms. “It’s Lucy. And no, I’m not mad at you Juvia. Why would you think that?”

“Because you sound angry.” Juvia muttered. She let go of her dress to clasp Lucy’s hand in her own. “If Lucy isn’t angry with Juvia, then can they talk?”

“Fine, we can talk. But only for a few minutes.”

The two stepped out of the front door and stopped in the parking lot.

“Juvia thinks you look really nice tonight Lucy.”

“Can you stop doing that.” Lucy muttered even though her traitorous cheeks warmed at the compliment.

“Stop doing what?”

“Talking in the 3rd person.”

Juvia tilted her head in confusion. “But you always liked it when I did that. You said it was cute.”

Lucy looked away. “That was 4 years ago Juvia, things change in that amount of time.”

A heavy silence fell before Juvia broke it. “So, you are upset with me.” Her somber tone made this seem more of a statement than a question.

“Well yeah a little.” Lucy let go of the other’s hand while stepping backwards. “Can you blame me? I haven’t heard from you in 4 years Juvia.”

Juvia bit her lip. “I left you a text message.”

“Lucy.” A hand reached out to re-intertwine their fingers. Juvia pulled her closer. “Lucy please look at me. Please!”

When Lucy finally faced her, she was surprised to find tears streaming down the bluenette’s face. “I never meant to hurt you Lulu.”

“Then why did you leave me?” Lucy whispered.

“To find myself.” Juvia whispered back. She tugged on Lucy’s hand again and pulled the other woman closer. She didn’t stop until Lucy was fully in her arms.

Then, she pressed her forehead against the blonde’s and started her story.

“Do you remember how we first met?”

Juvia hummed with a blush of embarrassment. “And do you remember what happened after that?”

“Yeah. I got tired of you stalking me, so I invited you over for dinner.”

“I never did ask you why you did that.”

The blush on Juvia’s cheeks darkened. “Lucy, that was the first time anyone had ever done anything nice for me. I never had a friend before, and I never received such kindness from a stranger. We formed a bond that night which caused strange thoughts to irrupt within me. I kept thinking that I wanted to be more like you. Kind, caring, compassionate, beautiful. I thought that if I could be all those things, I would finally be happy. I keep trying to get close to you, so I could learn how to be all those things, but then something within me changed. I started to enjoy spending time with you. And then I started to fall in love with you. I thought that someone like you could never fall for someone like me, but to my surprise, you did.” Juvia paused in her story to let out a joyless smile at the shocked look on Lucy’s face. “I was ecstatic when we started going out. I was so in love with you Lucy, please me believe me on that. But then those thoughts start to plague my mind again. I couldn’t understand why such a beautiful and amazing person like you would have feelings for someone like me. I figured it was only a matter of time before you realized you could do better than me. I realized that the only way to better myself would be to go on a soul-searching journey to figure out who I was. I didn’t think I would be gone for long but obviously I was wrong.”

“Juvia! Our relationship was never in danger!” Lucy leaned in close to brush her lips against Juvia’s. “And I could never hate you.”

Juvia froze. “But you’re upset with me!”

“Lucy…” Juvia whispered before pulling her into a tight hug. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Lucy.”

“I know.” Lucy whispered back.

“Hold me close tonight; even if it is just for tonight. Please Juvia, I need to feel you.”

“Lulu,” Juvia smiled. “I finally have you back in my arms. I’m never letting you go again.”

#ftlgbtfics #luvia #novamore writes #my writing #my post

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lichlover · 6 years

Note

shit shit ok prompts. like. id say feeblemind lup bc!!!! im very excited for it!!! but if you want fluffy ones either. lupcretia with the whole "elves are cats" thing or the ipre with cool socks? (the latter being bc. im wearing socks with bees on them and was like "oh shit this is adeline's lup!!!" so. lup with cool socks is now an Image in my Brain)

happy birthday, love!!! this is on ao3, by the way.

Intuition, Lucretia thinks, is like a dangling participle.

It’s when the sentence is perfectly capitalized and punctuated but doesn’t read as fluidly as it should. It’s when everything looks right, but something is wrong—wrenchingly, glaringly wrong, even though there’s not a word you can think of to describe it. It’s the kind of thing that drives English majors and novelists to the brink of madness. She should know. (She’s been both.)

The last time she’d told someone as such, they’d been incredulous. “That’s a metaphor practically asking to be broken,” they’d said. “Besides, sometimes you just know shit is bad, and it looks bad, and it’s just all bad. The world isn’t always trying to catch you off guard, okay? I’d say that’s a pretty paranoid way of looking at things.”

“It’s a simile,” was all Lucretia had said.

They’d waved her off, laughing.

Lucretia doesn’t feel much like laughing now.

The journey back is, for lack of any better phrasing, absolute hell. Barry offers to take them through the rift—it’ll be faster, he says; easier, and he wants to get them to a safe place as soon as possible—but the instant reality rips itself apart in front of them, Lup digs her nails into Taako’s arm and screams. It’s shrill and deafening and utterly terrified. It’s the worst thing Lucretia’s ever heard.

So they take the Starblaster. Lup refuses to let go of Taako’s arm. Her eyes dart from person to person, evaluating each of them with a sharp, unforgiving stare. When Kravitz goes to sit next to Taako, her ears pull flat against her head and she bares her fangs at him, growling low and deep in her throat. He backs off in a hurry, and Taako swallows hard and tells her that he’s fine, Lulu, for gods’ sake, you know him. She doesn’t seem to care.

Everyone gives them a wide berth after that.

Barry calls them up to the bridge after a heavy ten minutes of silence, and they oblige him because there can’t possibly be anything worse than silence. Davenport is there, of course—he’s perfectly capable of setting the ship to autopilot, as Lucretia and the others well know, but he’s looked a little haunted ever since they departed and they’d all known no amount of convincing would get him to leave the helm. Lucretia sees the hollowness in his eyes and has to choke back something welling up in her throat; whether it’s an apology or a full-on breakdown, she can’t tell. She won’t make him relive something she herself has tried very hard to forget.

“Feeblemind,” says Merle, as soon as the door hisses shut behind them.

None of them had wanted to say it.

Lucretia’s familiar, of course. She’s familiar with too many spells; knows them just well enough to recognize their effects without knowing much else. She’d watched the clever glint drain from Lup’s eyes and figured straightaway, and she’s sure the others had done the same. Perhaps that’s why no one had said anything. Because they’d all known, and knowing was so much worse than saying it aloud.

Feeblemind. The body is left intact (right) but the mind is shattered (wrong, wrong, wrong).

“You can cure it,” Barry says. “You can end it, with—with Greater Restoration, right?”

Merle looks tired. They’re all tired, but he wears it plainly on his face, and always has. “I can do it, but it calls for diamond dust, and this shit gets specific. Gems’ve gotta be at least a hundred GP, and for a full guarantee that this is gonna work, they’ve gotta be cultivated. Specially grown, y’know? This is a delicate spell, and if anything goes wrong, if this gets fucked up—”

“You’re not gonna fuck it up,” says Magnus, and he sounds angry. They’re all angry, Lucretia thinks. Angry and tired—and it almost feels like the old days again. “This is too important.”

“Obviously. So it’s… it’s gonna be a coupla days.”

Barry releases a small, choked noise into his hand. Davenport doesn’t look back from the helm, but he says, “Then we’ll all make her as c-comfortable as we can in the time we have. This isn’t rocket science, people. It—it’ll be over soon.”

There is really nothing worse than silence, but that’s what hangs over their heads for a few agonizing seconds before Angus speaks. He’s sitting at a console, looking thoroughly shaken and, like so many of the adults are, trying his best to hold it together. Lucretia, who’s been holding her expression steadfast since liftoff, can relate.

“This is my fault,” he says, almost quietly enough to be inaudible. “I’m sorry.”

The bridge erupts.

“It’s not your fault, Ango—”

“—nobody thinks that—”

“It’s on me,” says Barry, dropping his hand from his face. “I should’ve had my eye on her.”

Kravitz shakes his head. “Necromancers are tricky bastards. I know that, I should’ve taken extra precautions. Besides, I’ve actually hunted them down before, so if anyone’s to blame—”

“You’re all being selfish,” Lucretia says.

They all look at her but she doesn’t back down, because she’s spent a century with them and their judgment and at this point, she couldn’t possibly care less. “You’re being selfish,” she repeats, and she can hear her voice shaking. “Acting like all of this is your cross to bear. It’s no one’s fault, alright? Something shitty happened, we’re dealing with the consequences like adults. This isn’t the time to be arguing over who gets to be the martyr.”

Nothing but silence can follow an outburst like that, and silence is the last thing Lucretia needs. So she turns on her heel and leaves. She doesn’t stalk or stride or hold her head high because she knows she’s right—in fact, she doesn’t know it in the least.

She doesn’t really know anything anymore.

The first day is a different kind of hell, one built out of frozen dinners and overcrowded guest bedrooms and Barry and Kravitz’s shouting match over who goes with Merle; or, more importantly, who stays.

Lucretia doesn’t catch all of it, but it’s impossible not to hear.

“—so what happens if I leave and she gets worse?”

“You’re talking like we’re not all capable people, you have to know that—”

“I’m her husband, gods dammit!”

It only quiets down after Taako stands up, storms to the other end of the house, and gives them both an earful because you fucking idiots, you’re scaring her, figure out what the hell you’re doing or shut the fuck up. Not fifteen minutes later, they both emerge into the living room and announce stiffly that Kravitz is going with Merle, and Barry is staying behind, and thank you all for being so patient, but they’re just a little shaken up and they only want the best for Lup. All of them do.

Lucretia sits in an armchair too big for her in a space more domestic than she’s used to. This is the third time she’s been to Barry and Lup’s house, and the first time she’s been there with company. It’s a shockingly innocuous property. The garden out front is well-kept and blooming with all sorts of unusual flora, and every room is enormous and airy and spilling over with natural light. (Every room, of course, save for the necromancy lab, which Barry has informed her she’s not allowed to see for plausible deniability.)

He’d shown her the floorplan back when the house was a couple of blueprints and a far-fetched ambition in the aftermath of Story and Song. “Gotta have lotsa light, lotsa space,” he’d told her. “Means the world to her. Uh, especially now.”

It’s beautiful—the sort of house Lucretia had imagined having all to herself a century ago, back when her endgame had been a novel published under her name. She looks at its lofty ceilings now and thinks it would be far too lonely for her taste.

Somehow Lup’s presence makes it even lonelier. She’s taken up residence on the couch, curled into a shallow corner, pupils thin and ears at attention as she surveys the room around her. Everything that moves or raises its voice above a whisper incurs her suspicion, and when Magnus accidentally ventures too close, her lips curl back in a snarl. Lucretia notes how as soon as he steps back, she looks to Taako with concern written starkly across her face. It makes sense, to an extent. Protection has to be one of the oldest instincts in existence. The fact that it survives, even when the rest of her personality is ripped apart, is harshly appropriate.

The rest of her is vacant. Where life and warmth once brimmed in Lup, there’s just—nothing. Lucretia catches herself staring once or twice, sucked into the hollows of Lup’s eyes, and has to tear herself away. It’s wrong. It’s worse than wrong—it’s like someone’s violated a law of the universe and gloated about it.

It doesn’t matter that pieces of the necromancer are rotting in that field.

Lup is gone, and they’re struggling to get her back.

On the second day, Barry collapses.

They all count themselves lucky that Lup doesn’t see it. Magnus carries him to one of the downstairs bedrooms and says he’s going to go and get some fuel for everyone, which Lucretia hopes means coffee, because they’d all drained the supply on the first day. He leaves, and Barry is across the house, and Angus is with Carey and Killian, which they’d all decided on without having to put it to a vote. They don’t know where Davenport is and they figure for now, he wants to keep it that way.

So that leaves Lucretia with Taako and Lup, except Lup isn’t herself, which leaves Lucretia with Taako.

She’s been trying not to think about it.

It only takes a couple agonizing minutes for one of them to break the quiet. “You should check on Barold,” Taako says, and he says it a little more aggressively than he needs to, but it’s also the most he’s spoken to Lucretia in a year and so she’ll take it without complaining.

“He’s fine,” she says. “He hasn’t slept in two days. I don’t want to wake him up.”

Taako rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t dispute her. He has his fingers threaded through Lup’s, and Lucretia watches as his knuckles whiten ever so slightly.

“Why are you here?”

“She’s my friend.”

He scoffs. “That all? What about your—your arrangement, or whatever?”

“The arrangement,” says Lucretia, coldly, “is none of your business. And I’m really not in the mood to be judged for my adult decisions.”

It’s one of the only things that had survived from the Century—an understanding, an open relationship. An arrangement. They’d talked about it after Legato, after Lucretia was so sure everything was about to take a turn for the worse, and agreed because it was too easy to be worth breaking any hearts over.

She’d wondered if Taako was privy to it, and now she knows.

He’s silent for a moment longer, and then he says, “She doesn’t deserve you.” It’s not meant to sting or catch her off guard, Lucretia knows—for Taako, it’s simple and solid as any other fact.

And she’s not going to dispute him.

“Lup deserves to be happy.”

“Now there’s something we can both fuckin’ agree on.” He sighs and tips his head to rest it against Lup’s, and she nuzzles into his loose curtain of hair, closing her eyes in an unexpected display of peace. Lucretia is sure she sees Taako’s eyes shimmer, but then he blinks and clears his throat and the moment is gone.

She doesn’t get to see him very often, which he would say is entirely on purpose. They’d sealed a single, likeminded pact between them to get along for the sake of Angus’s birthday, but Angus’s birthday is over now—it’s been over for what seems like fifty years. And here they are, getting along by virtue of necessity. It feels right.

Lup’s stomach rumbles, and Taako sits up and curses under his breath. “She hasn’t eaten since… shit,” he mumbles, and Lucretia knows he’s talking to himself, but the fact that he’s willing to do so with her sitting right there is something, at least. “I’ll get a meal going, see if I can get her to eat… uh, Lu, c’mon, we’re goin’ to the kitchen.”

He stands, but Lup doesn’t follow. She remains stubbornly seated, looking up at Taako with those horrible, blank eyes, and looks a little like he’s personally offended her.

“Lup,” he says. “C’mon.”

This time he tugs a little insistently on her hand, and her ears pull back again as she releases a low whine from the back of her throat. Taako drops his grasp, sucks in a shaky breath, and pinches the bridge of his nose. He’s a pressure cooker of exasperation, Lucretia thinks, to use a metaphor he would approve of. He also has thick, dark circles under his eyes and a familiar twitch to his mouth that she knows is the harbinger of a full-on breakdown.

“Fuck—Lup, please—”

“Go make the food,” says Lucretia. Lup’s ears twitch towards her, and she looks over without any of the feral hostility they’ve all gotten used to. “I’ll watch her.”

Taako stares her down. She knows he wants the next words out of his mouth to be why should I let you, but she also knows he’s too exhausted to push back. Instead, he holds out a finger like it’s an arcane focus and says, “If you—if you pull any shit—”

“I won’t—”

“—I swear to gods I’ll make you wish we never saved your ass.” He drops the finger and turns back to Lup. “I’ll be back in a bit, okay?”

There’s no response, of course. Taako sighs and heads to the kitchen, although not without a pointed glance over his shoulder. Lucretia doesn’t bother returning it in kind.

That leaves her with Lup, except Lup isn’t herself, so—

A faucet turns on down the hall, followed by the sound of a cabinet slamming heatedly shut. Taako cooks when he’s stressed. He has the manic energy Lucretia’s never been able to muster, the impulse to do something and then the compulsion to actually do it. They share inattention and nothing else. She has a book in her lap, a small fiction she’s been struggling to get through between running the Bureau of Benevolence and the persistent desire to sleep the rest of her life away, and for the last several minutes she’s been thumbing over the pages and wearing her skin raw. It focuses her. (Granted, for what, she’s not entirely sure.)

A hand lays over hers, and Lucretia almost jumps out of her skin. Lup’s eyes catch hers, still dim, still hollowed out like two black holes where stars used to reside. It’s too easy to slip into celestial metaphors to describe her.

She doesn’t say anything—mutism is one of the symptoms, as they’ve started to refer to them, like this is a stubborn virus or some other affliction. But she folds her fingers gently through Lucretia’s and pulls, tipping her head towards the couch, and the empty space where Taako had taken up residence next to her.

“Oh,” says Lucretia, because she can’t think to say anything else. “Oh, you want me to…?”

Lup doesn’t understand her—another symptom—but she continues to press her stare. What else can Lucretia do but oblige? She slides the book carefully off her lap and joins Lup on the couch, folding her legs underneath her. As soon as she gets situated, like Lup can sense it, she nudges gently at Lucretia’s shoulder and leans in.

(And they’re back on the Starblaster, and Lup’s fingers snag gently in Lucretia’s curls as they sit against each other under the dim glow of the stars. Any moment now she’ll ask a question in her low, resonant voice, and Lucretia will crack a self-indulgent smile and respond, and say something that would embarrass her for cycles to come if not for the fact that they keep no secrets from each other.)

Instead Lucretia freezes. Lup doesn’t seem to notice. She doesn’t close her eyes, but her ears stoop to a gentle incline and her breathing evens from its short, choppy exhales. It reminds Lucretia of honey-gold mornings and sun-warmed skin between tangled sheets, and it’s wrong; she knows this, even though something about it feels numbingly right. She shouldn’t be wanting Lup’s hand curled lightly in her lap, or her weight against Lucretia’s chest.

She shouldn’t be wanting it and yet she wants so much. She wants Lup back and right now, this is the closest she’s going to get.

The clamor from the kitchen fades into white noise. Lup rests in the curve of her shoulder, and for once Lucretia doesn’t ache with the need to flex her fingers and fold them into her palm, or thumb over the pages of her book. She lets the world phase just slightly out of focus because she, like everyone, is more exhausted than she realizes. They hadn’t given her something to do in the aftermath. She’d become a sentinel of her own accord.

It’s appropriate, she decides, for her inclination; protecting the ones she loves for better or for worse.

Lup is warm. She’s always been warm, like magic is constantly running hot through her veins, and even in this state Lucretia can feel the power thrumming faintly beneath her skin. It’s a vibration; a distinctly choppy hum. There is both a power and a fragility to it that together is unlike anything Lucretia’s ever heard.

The reason she’s never heard anything like it is, of course, because it’s not actually arcane power that Lucretia can feel through the fabric of her blouse.

It’s a purr—a soft, oscillating rumble that spills from Lup’s throat and radiates outward in tiny vibrations. Where they land, goosebumps scatter across Lucretia’s skin, and cautiously she tips her head to verify the sound. As she does, Lup’s eyelashes flutter, and the purring—because that’s what it is, without question—jumps noticeably in volume. She leans toward the crook of Lucretia’s neck on what looks like instinct, like the same gravity that seems to hold them in orbit around each other is at work once again.

The same gravity that nestles in Lucretia’s gut and aches like it’s been a century. A day and a half is nothing compared to a hundred years but right now, it feels entirely as if the two are the same.

So she tucks her head over Lup’s and listens to her purr. There’d been an occurrence over the course of the mission—only once, because to Lup and Taako intimacy was sacrosanct. But she’d been curled up against the headboard, Lup lounging across her lap, and gently massaging an ear. And just like that, like a switch had been flipped, Lup started purring. She’d realized it after a moment or two and propped herself up with an embarrassed grimace, face distinctly pinker than it should have been. “Hey, Luce,” she’d said. “I’d appreciate it if you, uh, kept that to yourself. It’s kind of a…”

“An elf thing?” Lucretia had guessed.

She’d been right, as it turned out; a little-known racial quirk that elves liked to keep under wraps. Lucretia respected her wishes, and after that night, she didn’t hear it again. Apparently it had been long enough that she’d forgotten about it altogether.

She remembers two things, now:

Elves purr when they’re content, or

they purr when they’re distressed.

Lucretia looks down at Lup and can’t even begin to fathom which of the latter it would be.

She abandons that train of thought and reaches up to smooth a hand over Lup’s hair. Lup doesn’t protest, so Lucretia lets her fingers slide through the loose strands and gently massage her scalp. The purring gets louder. It’s a completely involuntary thing—she’s sure of it—but there’s a small, selfish part of her that thinks, she knows it’s me. This is for me. Lup doesn’t understand the nuances of her relationship with Lucretia or what they’ve been through together, but she feels safe. Safe with Lucretia. Safe enough to purr.

Taako is so quiet that Lucretia doesn’t even realize he’s there until he slouches into the armchair where she had been. She jumps, and Lup’s ear flicks attentively, but the purring’s tempo doesn’t break.

“Food’s cooking,” is all he says. There’s a bitter edge to his tone that she thinks, for once, isn’t directed at her.

Lucretia’s eyes fix on the ring fitted perfectly to Taako’s finger. It’s a cluster of bright pink tourmaline encased in transmuted silver, brilliant enough to catch the light and throw it in prisms across the room.

“I’ll get up,” she says.

He waves a dismissive hand. “You’re chill. Lup’s comfortable, so—so just stay where you are.”

“You don’t—”

“Lucretia,” he says, “I don’t give a flying fuck what I’m—about how I feel right now, and neither should you. This ain’t about me.”

The pointed look that tangles in Lup’s eyelashes tells Lucretia everything else she needs to know.

She doesn’t try to argue further. For one, it’s an argument she’s not going to win, and for the other—for once—she hasn’t the faintest idea what they would be arguing about. So she starts to card her fingers through Lup’s hair again, and Lup continues to purr, and Taako stares vacantly in the direction of the kitchen as if there’s something he’s forgotten.

That night, Kravitz and Merle portal in through the front yard. Lucretia and Barry are there to greet them, and the latter’s shirt is stained and his hair is sticking up in sleep-thick spikes, but right then he looks more awake than ever.

Diamond dust glitters in the valleys of Merle’s palm as he lays his hand on Lup. The air thickens with the scent of ozone. Taako’s fingers are laced tightly through hers once more, and he doesn’t say anything, but she can see his shoulders shaking.

The effect is instantaneous.

“Well, shit,” says Lup, when the light returns to her eyes. She sees Taako sitting next to her first and pulls him into her arms, and just like that, the room heaves a sigh of relief. Barry takes her face in her hands and kisses her hard, and Magnus barges past and sweeps them all into a hug, ignoring Taako and Merle’s harmonious complaining. Kravitz manages an awkward pat until he, too, is pulled headfirst into the embrace.

Lucretia stands in the doorway. The world is quiet and dark outside and the neighbors’ well-kept lawns glimmer with a late rainfall.

She leaves.

Or she tries to, at least, because she only gets as far as the porch before the door swings open behind her and light from the hallway spills around her feet. “ ’Cretia,” Lup says. “Where’re you going?”

A best of silence, and the door closes of its own accord. It’s just them, now, standing in the dim glow of the porch light with the faint buzz of crickets in the distance.

“I missed you,” says Lucretia.

Lup steps forward and takes her gently by the shoulders. “I missed you too. So why don’t you stick around? Taako’s making dinner.”

“I can’t.”

She sighs. “If you think they’ll be weird—”

Lucretia shakes her head. “It’s not them, it’s me.”

She knows Lup won’t argue with that. Instead she drums her fingers against Lucretia’s sleeves and says, “You were there the whole time, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Lup leans forward and presses her lips lightly to Lucretia’s, and despite herself, Lucretia leans in. She really has missed Lup—missed this—the way she has to rock forward on her tiptoes to reach her and the way Lup smiles against her mouth and the way she feels nothing else, except the ebb and pull of the kiss itself. They might have spent an eternity standing there on the porch, half-drowned in golden light and shivering slightly in the chill. Lucretia knows she wouldn’t mind.

But all the best things must come to an end, and Lup pulls away with a small, dazed grin.

“My girl,” she murmurs. “Missed you like crazy. You really won’t stay, huh?”

“I can’t,” is all Lucretia says.

“Okay.” She hops off the porch and sits on the stoop, then pats the concrete next to her. “Sit with me for a little bit, then. Tell me about what I missed.”

Lucretia does. She sits down and doesn’t bother sugarcoating it, because she knows Lup will hate that even more than not knowing. So she unflinchingly recounts the seconds after Lup fell and how Taako and Barry’s spells had ripped the necromancer apart. She tells Lup about the way she’d screamed at the sight of the rift and how she’d bared her teeth at anyone other than Taako who’d come close. She recites bits and pieces of Barry and Kravitz’s argument.

Lup listens without comment. When Lucretia stops—whether it’s just to stop or to take a breath, she isn’t sure—she says, “I’ve got these… impressions. Like vague memories, emotions… it’s like everything’s blurred.” She grins ruefully. “Kinda hard to make acute observations when your intelligence takes a fuckin’ swan dive, huh?”

Lucretia doesn’t respond at first, and Lup notices. “Everything okay?”

“What’s wrong with you?” says Lucretia.

The crickets seem deafeningly loud just then, filling up the space with their incessant chirping and almost overpowering what she says next. “You weren’t yourself, and it was fucking terrifying. And it didn’t even make any sense, because one minute you were growling at everyone, and the next you were—”

Her sentence hangs like a woman off a precipice. “You were… it doesn’t matter. You just—you’re cracking jokes and kissing me and acting like none of this happened, and it did happen, and it scared the life out of all of us, and I don’t know how you can be so—so chill about all of it when a spell literally destroyed your mind.”

“Oh,” Lup says. That’s it. Lucretia’s just started to kick herself for being stupid, for reprimanding Lup just minutes after she’s come back to herself because she doesn’t deserve that, gods dammit, when she says, “Y’know what? That’s fair.”

Lucretia blinks. “Um—um, yeah. Yeah, it is.”

She leans back on the heels of her hands, gazing up at the edge of the overhang and beyond that, the brilliant spread of stars. “I’m not gonna lie, Luce. I feel like shit. But when you fix somebody, they’re supposed to be fixed, right? No exceptions. No side effects. You forgive and forget and you—whoops, sorry, babe,” she says, because she catches Lucretia’s flinch, because of course she does. “Bad choice of words. But my point is that it shouldn’t be this hard to suck it up and move on.”

“Lup?”

“Yeah, hon.”

“It’s been five minutes.”

Lup chuckles and releases a long sigh. “Sure has.”

They sit in silence for a few moments. Somewhere behind the house, a carriage trundles by, accompanied by a couple raised voices and someone’s airy laughter. As the voices fade away, Lup says, “It coulda hit any one of you.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Yeah, it is,” she says, and doesn’t snap, even though her voice gets noticeably sharper. “There’s a scenario out there where the spell hits you, instead. Or Taako. Or Barry, or Angus… I could go on and on, and that, right there?” Lup’s finger jabs at an invisible spot in the air. “That’s the point. The fact that the spell hit me and not anybody else. I’m happy to take the hit—hell, I’m thrilled if it means no one else has to go through that.”

There’s no way Lucretia can counter that without compromising her beliefs. “You’re a good person,” she says. It’s not a hollow sentiment, but it does sound like one.

“I’m pissed off is what I am,” says Lup, but she puts a hand on Lucretia’s thigh and squeezes.

“I’ll get over it,” she murmurs. “Always do.”

They spend another few seconds in silence, although the way they pass, it could have been measured in eternities. Lup’s thumb presses absentminded circles into the side of Lucretia’s knee.

“Barry passed out,” she says suddenly; affectionately. “Dumbass. He always likes to say he’ll sleep when he’s dead, and since he’s a lich already that doesn’t mean jack, so…”

Lup falls silent for a few moments more, and then she says, “When did you last get some sleep?”

Lucretia thinks. She hadn’t so much as closed her eyes on the Starblaster, and the night before she’d gotten about five hours on the tail end of an enormous amount of paperwork. Suddenly the leaden weight in her limbs makes a lot more sense. “It’s been awhile.”

“Then you’re a dumbass, too,” says Lup.

Fair assessment.

Their intimacy from earlier in the day sticks sharp and clear in Lucretia’s mind. She’s been wrestling with how to bring it up, like there’s any way she can casually discuss the mechanics of want under Feeblemind, and it occurs to her then that the best way to mention it is just to mention it. So she takes a soft breath and says, “You purred.”

Lup’s ear twitches as she glances over. “I what?”

“You purred,” Lucretia repeats. “When we were… um, you seemed like you wanted me, uh… near you, so I went to sit with you, and you purred. And I felt like I should, uh. Say something? So. There it is. You purred.”

It’s in a note somewhere in her journals, that elves’ pupils expand just so when they’re taking in new information. Lup’s eyes look like two small moons. “Oh,” she says, a little more meaningfully than people usually say such things. “Well, I, uh… I’m comfortable with you. Makes sense, doesn’t it?”

Lucretia supposes it does.

“Yeah,” she admits. “I guess so.”

“Well, there you have it.” Lup’s tone is flippant, but the tips of her ears are a rosy pink. She tucks an arm around Lucretia’s shoulders and pulls her close, and Lucretia gratefully relents to the pull. It’s like giving in to fifty years of fear and uncertainty and memories she still can’t keep herself from reliving, but because she’s in Lup’s arms, none of it matters anymore. It’s over, she thinks. It’s not okay but it’s over.

Lucretia’s intuition tells her that any moment now, someone is going to come to the door to check on the two of them. The sacrament of their moment will be broken, and the agony and trauma of the past few days will come flooding back in.

It’s like a dangling participle—paranoid, inevitable.

But they’ve weathered much worse together.

#helloyoubeautifulsoul #ask #the adventure zone #taz balance #lupcretia #fic #mine #we out here doing a hit on the best girls!!!

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ahlua-ffxiv · 6 years

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Meet the Character: Ahlu’a Dhizzi

► Name ➔ “Lulu Dhizzi.” ► Are you single ➔ “Yes, and I plan to stay that way, thank you.” ► Are you happy ➔ “I don’t have strong cognitive emotions.” ► Are you angry? ➔ “...What did I just tell you?” ► Are your parents still married ➔ “No. They are traditional Keepers.”

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ “Somewhere in the Black Shroud.” ► Hair Color ➔ “Black, with some charcoal highlights, if you can even call them that.” ► Eye Color ➔ “Amber.” ► Birthday ➔ “I don’t remember. I suppose I never really thought of the information as being all that useful.” ► Mood ➔ “Perplexed.” ► Gender ➔ “Male.” ► Summer or winter ➔ “I don’t have strong feelings about either.” ► Morning or afternoon ➔ “These things are on either side of my lunch break. They exist.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ “No.” ► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ “I think it’s an entirely irrational concept.” ► Who ended your last relationship ➔ “I have never had one.” ► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ "No, and I would rather not.” ► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ “I do not wish to engage in a relationship at present, but commitment as a concept does not scare me.” ► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “I was hugged by the Steward of my cousin’s Free Company and my cousin also near constantly hugs me.” ► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “No.” ► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “What does that even mean?”

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ “Neither.” ► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ “Neither are bad as far as beverages go.” ► Cats or Dogs ➔ “I prefer the company of canines. Cats will offer to let you pet their belly and then bite you for no reason.” ► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “I’m still trying to work that out.” ► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “Neither of those things sound fun.” ► Day or night ➔ “My ilk are adapted to move around at night.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔ “Multiple times. I was scolded.” ► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ “If I have, I do not recall.” ► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ “No. At least not so far.” ► Wanted to disappear ➔ “I have and did. I’m good at that.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ “Both are equally telling in regards to a person’s intent.” ► Shorter or Taller ➔ “Both present obstacles to be analyzed and overcome.” ► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ “I don’t feel attraction, so I suppose..intelligence?” ► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ “-Neither-.”

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔ “My cousin is the only family I care to call such, and I am in her debt. She is good to me.” ► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ “Had. Yes.” ► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ “Yes.” ► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “No. I follow protocol.”

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “I’m not sure if I have friends? If I did, wouldn’t hating them defeat the point?” ► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “I’ll get back to you once I have friends.” ► Who is your best friend ➔ “The closest thing I have to this sort of kinship is my cousin, I suppose. I can tell her anything and she does not judge me.” ► Who knows everything about you ➔ “No one, and I would like to keep it that way.”

Tagged by: MYSELF via @arayan-ffxiv who tagged Lexy. Tagging: EVERYONE

#character quiz

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everlarkbirthdaygifts · 7 years

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Happy Birthday Historywriter2007!

We extend a huge Happy Birthday to one of our contributors @historywriter2007! Sorry it is a little late, but we hope you had a lovely day! To add more birthday cheer to your day, the lovely @mega-aulover has written a special Everlark fic just for you! We hope you like it :)

Title: Rosie the Riveter.

Prompt: I love historical AUs especially WWII, but will take anything. Some smut would be great too!

Rating: M (Warning Explicit Everlark)

A/N: Happy Birthday @historywriter2007 I hope you had a wonderful day. A special thanks to the marvelous queen my friend and beta @titaniasfics, you always make me a better writer.

Spring 1942, Virginia; USO Hall

Tommy Dorsey and his band were playing a great set. The hall was filled with Navy sailors and Marines. Each competing for the group of ‘Rosie the Riveters’ who worked at the docks by day and danced at the USO and other dance halls. At the USO, the men swung the girls around and the matronly chaperons were desperately trying to keep the dancing at a respectable level, but that didn’t mean things didn’t happen between the boys and the riveters.

“How’s it going, Rosey?” Johanna said, plunking down next to Prim.

“Katniss is being a fuddy-duddy again,” Prim huffed. “She’s like a mother hen, won’t let me dance with any of the boys?”

“Where is she?”

“Over by the fruit punch,” Prim scowled just like Katniss. “This is my first time at the USO! It’s my patriotic and civic duty to bop with them! And my sister has me pushing the empty seats back into the tables so that,” Prim used air quotes, “no one trips on the chairs.”

“Let me deal with Brainless,” Jo said.

A long buffet table was set to the side here several girls were serving bottles of soda, donuts, sandwiches and other refreshments. Katniss poured punch for the boys in uniform. She often didn’t smile but she was pleasant. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. She didn’t need them, it was a defense mechanism to keep the men at bay. Her mother and aunt were hoping she’d find a suitable match here. Just like her neighbor, Leevy, who met a soldier from Arkansas and now was married to him.

“Brainless.” Johanna scooted up next to her.

Katniss rolled her eyes at the loud-mouthed woman who was the bane of her existence since they were put together on the line at the factory. Both girls worked down at the naval yard soldering the joints on Navy Destroyers.

“I saw that,” Jo grinned, then winked at the man who stood in front of Katniss. “Excuse me, my friend is needed in the back,” Jo said, grabbing Katniss by the arm,at the same time pushing the nearest girl to the punch table.

“Jo!” Katniss said, “What is this about? And you better not say donuts because I just hauled twelve boxes out there.” The girls were either greeters, dancers, servers or they were performers. Katniss had sung once a few weeks ago because the evening’s entertainment was bogged down by the weather. She normally stuck to serving. Jo preferred dancing.

“Listen, you made me a promise, to say yes!”

Katniss scowled. She remembered the dare. She was going to say yes to the first boy who asked her to dance, it was a little more complicated than that. She was supposed to say yes to anything the guys wanted to do, as long as it wasn’t promiscuous while volunteering at the hall.

“You’re going to let Rosey dance,” Jo began. Katniss opened her mouth to protest and remind Jo that her sister’s name was Primrose, not Rosey. Jo put a finger on Katniss lip, “Let me finish.” At Katniss scowl, Jo gave Katniss a pointed I-mean-business look. “With the boys Annie deems nice enough to dance with, the kid she did just turn eighteen. She has a right to be here now, and we are going watch over her.” Katniss couldn’t say no, to that. Jo however pressed forward, “ You are also going to say yes to the next guy who asks you to dance and continue to say yes all night long. Is that clear!!?” Jo didn’t wait for Katniss to speak she took her glasses off her face.

Katniss grimaced - she had half-a-mind to take her baby sister home with her.

“You made a bet and lost, and you promised Everdeen-”

Katniss sighed, it was a sure bet, who could have known that Jo could go a week without getting drunk? Now she was stuck having to be social instead of minding her time behind the scenes as she was comfortable doing. “Fine.”

“Good, now that you’ve got your marching orders, go show off those gams.” Jo said slapping Katniss in the butt. Jo was raised by men in wild sof Alaska. She was rough around the edges but she was loyal.

Katniss followed Jo out and watched her go to Annie,then to Prim whose face bloomed with joy. A small smile played on her lips.

“You’re awfully pretty when you smile.”

Katniss spun around to see a man with blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. He was handsome in that boy-next-door, good looks sort of way, with broad shoulders, and an easy smile. Her tongue became leaden in her mouth.

“Do you want to dance?” he blushed, “I’m sorry, I should’ve asked,” he gripped his hat in his hands. “Are you rationed?”

Katniss wondered why he’d ask her when he could have asked any of the girls she worked with. She shyly shook her head no.

“I’m glad, I wouldn’t want to compete with another fellow.”

Katniss glanced at his decal. e was a cook, a baker. “You wouldn’t have much competition anywhere Seaman Mellark.”

“I can’t do the fast dances, but I can do the slow ones.” His neck became flushed.

Katniss forgot about the bet. There was something about this this baker that gave her butterflies. He extended his arm out to her and she slipped her hand through it.

They began to dance slowly to Tommy Dorsey’s, Manhattan Serenade when he tripped. “Sorry,” he murmured, then he tripped again. By the sixth time his face was as red as a tomato.

“It’s okay I’m not a great dancer either, it’s why I tend to stick with serving the punch.” Katniss wanted him to relax, he was stiff and she could tell he was nervous. “Why don’t we take a walk?”

It was a good time to remove themselves from the busy dance as the Dorsey ordered the ‘Boogie Woogie’ be played. Peeta gallantly escorted her out of the hall.

“My name is Peeta by the way,” he said as they found themselves outside of the building. They walked to a small park nearby where she leaned against the tree. She wasn’t much of a conversationalist, and she wasn’t great at making friends like her sister was. Katniss was wallflower, until tonight. She felt comfortable and she let her guard down. It was scary and thrilling, she’d never been this close to a boy that she was attracted to. Her life revolved around taking care of her family’s bills. Katniss had worked steadily from the moment her father died at the tender age of twelve. She’d always acted beyond mature. Laughing and behaving girlishly was new to her.

“A pleasure,” she said, “my name is Katniss.”

“I’ve been coming here for a few weeks now,” Peeta said, slipping his hands in his pockets.

“You have?”

“I was in a wheelchair before tonight. The nurses from the infirmary have been wheeling me here every Friday night for like a month just so I can get out of the hospital and socialize.”

Knowing he had been in danger and got hurt caused her body to grow cold, it reminded her of when she’d lost her father. Her eyes scanned his face, “What happened?”

“I was at Pearl Harbor,” Peeta simply stated. “I used to be able to dance.”

“You’re legs,” Katniss whispered, it was the only reason he’d been in a wheelchair and why he couldn’t dance the fast songs. While she was immobilized by the walls she erected to keep her heart safe, he was immobilized by a cataclysmic man made event. She felt a kindred spirit by him. Her eyes traveled to his mouth as he spoke, the urge to kiss him took her breath away.

“Amputated, well one is. The other is fine.” Peeta said stepping back. He took on a funny face. “I know that a girl like you going for a guy like me is not likely-”

Hearing him begin to push away did something funny to her. She wanted to get closer she needed to touch him grab his attention. Katniss did something bold, something Johanna would’ve been proud off, she took his hand and pulled him close. He lost balance and squished her up against the tree. Katniss wound her arms around his middle, stretched up on tiptoe and planted one on his lips. Her first kiss and it was a lulu. She swore she saw fireworks. He somehow found his footing and lifted her off the ground. Her hands traveled up from his waist until they wound themselves around his neck.

They pulled apart momentarily, glancing at each other in the silence of the night, shaded and protected by the blooming tree. He moved in closer.

His lips slowly pecked her. He grew bolder until their lips fused and she sighed as his warm lips caused a fire to spread from the pit of her stomach. His mouth gently pulled on her bottom lip and she gasped, “Peeta.”

Her eyes were still closed when he pulled away. He put her back on her own to feet, their foreheads were pressed against the other.

“WOW,” Peeta exclaimed, “That was, WOW!”

Katniss smiled as her lashes fluttered open, the same wonder that was displayed in his eyes was the same way she felt inside. She pressed her lips to his once more; a small groan escaped her as she did. She was ravenous for his lips, the warmth spread from her heart to the very tips of her toes. She slipped her fingers into the soft hair at the nape of his neck. Nothing mattered except his man, this moment and she was saying yes to everything.

“Katniss?”

Katniss stiffened in his arms. She peeked around his shoulder to see her opened-mouthed baby sister and a smug look Johanna. Peeta turned around, Katniss wanted them to go away she was embarrassed.

“Peeta Mellark, this is my friend, Johanna and my sister, Primrose,” Katniss said, Her cheeks and tips of her ears burning despite the cool spring night.

“A pleasure,” Peeta extended his hand.

Prim stared at Peeta with a wide-eyed look. Jo, however, looked at him as if he was the main entrée.

“You’re the cook Annie’s been telling me about,” Jo blurted out.

“Johanna!!! That’s not polite!!” Prim reprimanded. “He’s a wounded soldier who deserves our respect.”

“Sorry I didn’t mean any offense by it,” Jo said contritely. “The military need strong men to cook and wash dishes.”

“It’s okay,” Peeta intervened before Prim and Jo got into an argument.

“Listen I came to tell you that I was taking Rosey here home before your mother has a conniption. If you want to stay out with lover boy you can. I’m sure we can come up with an excuse.”

She didn’t want to be alone, she wanted to be with him. “Thank you,” she was glad they would cover for her. “I’m not sure what time Peeta has to be back at the hospital ward?”

“Actually I have a pass for the weekend. The hospital arranged it so that I can work on base, as a cook. They’ve even given me a house.”

Katniss smiled and didn’t notice when her sister and friend walked away.

“So...” Katniss trailed off. The hum of the music could be heard coming from the hall. “You owe me a dance.”

“I promise you one at our wedding,” Peeta said, and then quickly followed with, “Not that-” he stammered.

“Let’s walk some more,” Katniss interrupted.

The walked and talked. Mostly he talked and she listened. She liked the timber of his voice, the way it sounded gravely at times and soft at others. He talked about growing up in a bakery. How he was able to bake at the hospital as part of his recovery and why they didn’t discharge him, despite his amputated leg. One of his doctors, Doctor Aurelius, suggested this, since it was obvious his mother didn’t want him home.

Katniss instantly disliked Peeta’s mother for not caring enough about her son’s welfare. He’d survived the most horrific attack on US soil. He’d watched his friends die. She clung to his hand as they walked through the dark streets. They ended up at her house, a small two bedroom house that Katniss worked very hard to maintain. They sat on the swing on the front porch. Katniss leaned her head on his shoulder as they rise.

“Can I see you tomorrow?”

“You mean today?” Katniss whispered, feeling a euphoria she’d never felt as they shifted to stare at the other.

He chuckled, “Yeah tonight, I want to take you to the movies, if that’s okay.”

“I’ll allow it,” Katniss said. The muscles in his face crinkled as he glanced at her with joy. This was a look she could live with, she thought just as hips lips touched hers for the briefest of moments. When he left, it was like she was missing an arm or leg. Katniss was on pins and needles that day until he arrived that night.

He brought flowers for her mother, and chocolate chip cookies he’d made for her sister. “Mrs. Everdeen, these are for you.”

“Wildflowers,” her mother said teary eyed. “My late husband always brought me wildflowers.”

“I didn’t think you’d appreciate the contrived beauty of a rose. Wildflowers colors are vivid and sweeter smelling.”

Her mother nodded proudly. “Katniss help me in the kitchen one minute.”

Katniss followed her mother.

“Katniss Everdeen, you will not let that boy slip away, and thank your stars he will not be going into battle again, with his bad leg and all.” Her mother put her hands on her shoulders. “Go have a nice time with your young man, I’m sure your father would’ve have approved.”

“Yes mama.” Katniss was surprised by how quickly he won over her mother. She watched her mother gush over Peeta as they left the house.

They took her Ford pickup truck that had seene better days. It was her father’s truck. They went to the pictures but when they left it was Katniss turn to become chatty. She told him about her father, and the accident that caused them to come to Virginia and leave their family back in the Appalachian town. Peeta listened carefully just the way she’d done the night before. As before they ended up on her porch talking until the sunrise, and they spent the day together laughing and stealing kisses whenever her sister or mother weren’t looking. The next day at work Katniss was not only tired but was utterly distracted.

And she spent the next few months, distracted by Seaman Mellark.

Peeta was such a gentleman that he wanted to go slow with her. She was the one who wanted to be physically intimate with him. Two months into courting, it dawned on her as to why Johanna always said she felt desperate. Katniss felt hungry, she wanted to finish what they started in the car. She wanted to feel his hands on her and not just shy touches on top of her clothing.

Three months into dating, they were parked in a glen they’d found by the side of the road.

They were in the back of the truck, supposedly to stargaze. Katniss wriggled beneath him, feeling that coiling sensation in the pit of her stomach. Peeta trailed kisses from her mouth to her neck. One hand palmed her breast while the other was lightly fingering the skin along strap of her garter.

Peeta pulled away to glance down at her, a question in his eyes. Katniss opened her legs wider, glad she'd worn flowing skirt instead of the tighter one. Her underwear was soaked, as the anticipation built up. He finally slipped his hand under her skirt, touching her through her underwear. She gave a throaty cry as his fingers quickly discovered what she liked, a rubbing and tapping motion, making her come hard.

He smiled at her,and she blushed. She tried to touch him through his pants, to reciprocate.

“Katniss I can’t. You're going to drop me off at base and the it wouldn’t look good for me to walk around the base with my uniform soiled.”

From that night on Katniss had made a choice to encourage him. But he became shy and they returned back to kissing and chaste touching. It frustrated her until it dawned on her that Peeta was ashamed of his leg.

Summer was coming to an end and the big talk around town was the Officer’s Ball. Because Peeta was the best pastry chef he was invited as well. He’d asked Katniss to attend with him. She was mulling over the opportunity that presented to her to actually get on base and see his home.

“So what are you going to do?” Jo asked one night as they were cleaning up the hall.

“Peeta’s not like Finnick, I was the one who told Finn to slow down,” Annie said. Annie and Jo knew all about Katniss issue with Peeta.

Jo slapped Katniss on the back, “ You’re going to have seduce Captain Slow.”

“Jo,” Katniss warned, she didn’t like it when Jo called him that.

Annie giggled at Jo’s nickname for Peeta, the with a serious voice, “You can do it the night of the dance.”

Katniss thought about it. “But what about my mom and Prim?”

“Jo can convince Ol’Cray to give your mother the night shift, and Jo can stay at home with Prim.”

Jo spat her juice. “Now-”

Annie grinned, “Now Jo, you know very well you’ll be able to dress Katniss better than I can, and you can stay the night at Katniss house leaving me the apartment for Finn and I.”

Katniss was red but she was willing, she gave Jo a pleading look.

“Fine I’ll take one for the team,” Jo said.

Katniss had a plan. She arranged to take the day after the dance off. Jo got her mother the night shift and she wouldn’t be back until ten in the morning. Jo was volunteered to stay with Prim.

The night of the dance Katniss drove to the base. There was a dance and she was wearing a golden yellow crepe dress that looked like the sunset as Peeta had described. Along the collar there were sequins that looked like a flying dandelion helicopters. Johanna did her hair to look like Dorothy Lamour, and lent her red lipstick, and gave her real silk stockings she’d gotten from a marine.

“Miss. Everdeen,” The guard looked up her name and gave the okay for the gates to be lifted. They knew her by now. She’d come often enough to pick up Peeta, because he wasn’t proficient at driving yet. Peeta stood at the entrance in his dress blues. Since meeting Peeta, she grew to appreciate the Navy uniform.

Peeta whistled “Hot dam! You look killer diller!” He couldn’t take his eyes off her as he gave her directions to the house.

“We have an hour or so to before the dance begins,” Katniss was going to suggest going over to his place when he surprised her.

“I made us a light dinner,” Peeta flushed around the collar of his uniform.

“Thank you, I’m hungry,” Katniss listened to the way her voice dipped. She felt like the wolf who was about to pounce and gobble up Little Red Riding Hood.

The house was modest but it was better than hers . He opened the door and showed her inside. Katniss wandered to the kitchen where he’d set not just any meal but a romantic dinner. She spun around when she felt Peeta behind him and her hands crawled up his solid chest. She stood on tiptoe and kissed him. Her lipstick smeared his lips and she liked the idea that she’d just branded him. He kissed her back and she navigated them to a kitchen chair. Hiking up her dress, she sat astride him and pulled off his jacket and undid his shirt. She groaned when her hands shifted underneath his undershirt to feel the smooth skin of his chest.

His hands traveling up her thigh, finding the garter and slipping underneath toward her core.

There lips were fused, when his fingers first encountered her sopping core. He pulled away, “You’re not wearing underwear?” He began to move his hand away.

Katniss stopped his hand from moving by clamping on his arm from leaving her achy needy body. A sigh escaped her lips as his hand found her once more. She tossed her head back when she felt his fingers begin to slide back and forth, exploring her folds. She grabbed belt as one finger slip into her while another played with her bundle of nerves. He watched her come apart as the tension exploded. When she came down from her high, she wasn’t satisfied. She wanted to be with him. She kissed his neck as he groaned and stirred beneath her.

He paused in mid-kiss, pulling his head back to gaze at her with uncertainty. "I want you so bad, but ..." he swallowed hard. "...I haven't been with anyone since my amputation."

If he only knew she found him incredibly attractive just because of who he was. Katniss was never one for too many words and decided to show him how much of a man she thought he was. She leapt from her chair and slipping her hand behind her, undoing the simple button that held the dress together.

“Katniss, what…” Peeta voice sounded strangled as he watched her peel off the gown. She slowly pull down the straps of her tight garter Jo managed to wrap around her. It took some time to undo the hooks but by the look on Peeta’s face it was well worth it when he beheld her naked body.

His hands shook and he balled them on the side as she climbed back onto his lap.

“We can’t…I’m not complete.” His voice was rough.

“Tell me Peeta,” she whispered pressing herself against him feeling him tremble.

“I’m not man enough for you. I don’t even have two legs, Katniss…” Peeta’s voice shook.

“Applesauce, I don’t care about that.” Katniss gently touched him through his pants. She felt him harden under her touch. “Peeta, I want you, I want you to be my first and one and only.”

Peeta eyes flashed, “You mean...?”

“I’ve never done this,” Katniss swallowed feeling exposed and not just physically naked, but emotionally open. “Shared myself with anyone, and I don’t just mean my virginity. I mean, allowed anyone to see me. You saw past my glasses and my awkwardness. You treated me like a lady when I work besides men. You’re a gentle caring human being Peeta Mellark, it’s me who doesn’t deserve you.”

His eyes flashed, first in surprise then in amazement.

“I’m not good at saying stuff like this.” Her fingers busily nudged his undershirt higher. She marveled at how tan her skin was compared to his. He was paler than she was but he was also flushed pink. She leaned up against his chest, her flesh pressed against his provoked a hiss. She somehow got his shirt off and tossed it over her shoulders.

“We’ve always meant to be.” She whispered into his ear. Feeling brave she kissed him on the neck, her red lipstick leaving a visible trail. “ I’ve wanted it to be you and only you from the first moment we met at the USO. I need you,” she whispered.

His calloused hands slid up her thighs, one gripped her buttock, the other spread wide on the small of her back. She felt goosebumps wherever he touched. “I didn’t think any girl would want me after my leg was amputated.” He let go of her bottom and pressed his fingers at the back of her neck. “I want to marry you, if you’ll have me, but we don’t have to do this, Katniss. I can wait.”

“If I marry you, will you give me that dance you owe me?”

Peeta grinned, “Yeah.”

Her nose bumped up against his, “I’ll marry you Mellark, but I’m not waiting another night to be with you,” she said before their lips met and she made good on her promise to be with him.

He relaxed as she undid his belt loop, pushing aside the flaps of his pants, she licked her lips at the sight of his member. He was thick, she put her hand on him and she felt him twitch, her eyes flew to his face, but he looked rapturous. She gently pulled him out, he was firm but smooth in her hands, she felt his hand guide her in how to move. He moaned as she slid up and down his length, she so slick with need she was wetting his pant leg. She was very stimulated by seeing the power she held over him.

Within her she felt empty and was finally ready, she wanted him inside. Jo and Annie had explained various scenarios where they could make love and be comfortable for him. The chair was the best solution. She moved away slightly to assess how much space she needed to get him inside he was long and thick.

“Katniss are you sure you want to?”

“Help me,” answered back. He was always the consummate gentleman always seeking permission. And Katniss wanted him more.

She throbbed in anticipation as she began to slide down. Feeling his tip at her entrance she wanted to ram him inside of her, but she heard him groan “Wait.”

She watched him try to coat his dick with her juices. She swirled her hips a little to help him, and the sensation made her pant. As she sat down she felt him break her open, stretch her tight walls. They groaned in unison at the sensation of being joined. Though when she came to the barrier she gave him a helpless look, he gripped her sides and thrust upwards and she felt him give way and slide all the way home.

“You okay?”

Katniss needed to adjust to him, he was huge inside of her overheated body. Experimentally she moved up and down a fraction it felt amazing. Peeta waited for her and as she began to ride him. They established a slow rhythm. They watched the other, Katniss could see how his lips thinned as he tried to keep control.

“I'm close,” he warned before, he slid his hand to her bundle of nerves stoking her fire to burn brighter. Pleasure shot through her, tiny sounds escaped her lips. Their movements became faster. Peeta’s mouth found it’s way to her neck, and began to suckle her in that one spot right below her ear, and the combination of the movement, his fingers and his mouth was all too much. She screamed as she came, her walls fluttered around him coaxing him to come deeply within her. Peeta pulled out of her and managed to spill his seed on her belly.

She was spent, unable to move, her head on his shoulder. “I love you,” Katniss sighed as she fell asleep, just barely hearing his reply, “I love you too.”

They never did reach the dance that night but Katniss did spend the night with Peeta. His friend, Darius helped her slip off the base in the morning. That evening, Peeta showed up at her mother’s house with flowers and a pearl ring. It was all he could afford, but Katniss didn’t care.

With the help of Prim and Johanna they’d quickly planned a small ceremony within a week despite Peeta not shipping off to war. They just wanted to be together.

******

A year later, Katniss lay sleeping with her husband. It was a few hours before dawn when Peeta woke her up with kisses. He diligently got up early to prep the kitchens. Peeta earned his Chief Commissary Steward rank during their marriage. His specialty was in pastry. He was thriving and in more ways than one.

In their marriage together she’d discovered Peeta was very limber in bed and very frisky in the morning when he was full of energy. She loved when he woke her up to have sex. He often began with a kiss on her neck, then a nibble on her earlobe. Sometimes she’d awake to him sliding down her body to go down on her. Today he kissed her awake.

Eagerly she woke up to kiss him back, her body was slick with wanting and he easily slipped inside of her. It was a delicious sensation of feeling connected, tethered to him in a bond that went beyond the physical realm. Peeta pinned her hands to the bed, his blue eyes did not break contact with her gray ones. His thrusts became harder and she could feel the winding, swirling and mounting of glorious anticipation of bursting into a thousand different shimmering pieces of light. He hit that spot and she could feel her orgsam approach.

“Peeta,” she breathed into his ear, right before it happened. He whispered her name in return as he let go.

She lay within the warmth of his arms, his hands were gently stroking her back. “It’s nearly been two years since I first set eyes on you.”

Katniss didn’t want him to go into day, she didn’t want to go out to the yard either. The war showed no signs of slowing down. “I don’t know why you waited so long to approach me at the USO?”

“You’re beautiful Katniss. I was in a wheelchair and I was a goner when I heard you sign.”

She gave him a saucy look, “I would’ve sat on your lap?”

Peeta chuckled, “At first I just wanted to look at you. I told myself I was going to speak to you when I was on my own two feet. It took weeks of therapy. It was my lucky day when Annie bet me I wouldn’t go after you.”

“Jo blackmailed me to say yes to the first boy who asked me to dance,” Katniss lazily stretched.

“You mean, I could’ve taken you home?”

Katniss chuckled then said “You know, we never danced at our wedding.”

“You were too busy, trying to get everyone out of the house. As soon as they all left, you mauled me,” Peeta gave her an innocent look.

Katniss grinned, her grey eyes sparked, “You still owe me a dance, mister.”

“Sure thing, my Rosie.”

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #everlarkbirthdaydrabbles #everlarkbirthdaygifts #fan fic #by mega-aulover

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lulu2992 · 5 years

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Ask meme!

Rules: Answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to get to know better

I was tagged by @citizenofglasss :) Merci !

Tagging: You who are reading this, if you want!

Nickname: Lulu

Height: 175.5 cm (5′9″)

Last movie I saw: How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (I cried a little but HTTYD 2 was better, in my opinion)

Favourite artists: I love Lady Gaga (in general). I also really like Sia’s voice. There are more but I think these two are amazing singers. I also listen to a lot of movie/video game soundtracks.

Song stuck in my head: I don’t have one right now but a few hours ago it was Lifelight from Super Smash Bros Ultimate.

Other blogs: I just have this one.

Do I get asks: Sometimes. But I like getting asks so feel free to send some :)

Following: 24 blogs, mostly official blogs like Disney or Assassin’s Creed that haven’t posted in months or even years (thank you, Nintendo, for putting posts on my dash). I prefer browsing through tags, actually. It’s dumb but I think I’m too shy to follow people.

Amount of sleep: Usually 7 or 8 hours? Barely 3 hours last night and I’m tired.

Lucky number: ...6?

What I’m wearing: Bordeaux sweater with black sparkly dots, gray pants, black socks.

Dream job: I don’t know.

Favourite food: Potato chips are life.

Dream trip: I like to stay at home but Japan seems like a great country to visit.

Play any instruments: I used to play the piano but I haven’t really played in years.

Languages: French (first language) and English (trying my best). I learned German in school but I forgot most of it, sadly.

Favourite song(s): There are many songs I love so it’s hard to choose! I’ll just pick 5: Where Is My Mind - Yoav & Emily Browning, Dope - Lady Gaga, King - Lauren Aquilina, God Was Never On Your Side - Motörhead, and Broken Glass - Sia.

Random fact: Today would have been my cat’s 22nd birthday if he hadn’t died in 2008. Sorry, it’s not a very happy random fact BUT the good news is I’ve stopped being sad about it like 2 years ago. Cats rarely live that long anyway.

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: Uh... I’d say some very “girly” things like the color pink, flowers or glitters, mixed with some animals like birds, cats (all of them), cute bugs, frogs or spiders (they exist) and other much weirder things like skulls, swords, knives or handguns (but just for the aesthetic). Yeah, I guess Mulan and Sucker Punch are my favorite movies for a reason... Basically, you know the butterfly-gun thingy from Far Cry 3? I like that. It’s strange, pretty and cute at the same time:

#my aesthetic is weird #ask meme #me

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loudlyunladylike · 2 years

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HAPPY BIRTH LULU, YOU AMAZING WONDERFUL SWEET PERSON !!!

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH (/p) HAVE A NICE BIRTHDAY AND BREAK !!!

I AM SENDING YOU SO MANY VIRTUAL HUGS 🫂 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

I'm so glad you exist Lulu and lived this long so i can meet you. You're one of the best people I've ever met, either on online or irl, and I'm so lucky to have met you <333 One of my most amazing frens^^

I hope you have a good birthday and an amazing life, Lulu !!

(Lulu,, I wanna hug you so bad,, my love language is physical touch and quality time so have online friends are like... torture, I can't just stay with you or hold your hand,, fren.... I'm holding your hand and sitting with you in spirit,, ) (Also sorry if thats weird. Its just,, my way of showing affection, whether it be platonic or romantic- which in this case is platonic, please don't get me wrong I am NOT hitting on you. You're my fren,, and you have big sister vibes so)

RAIN!!!! ;-; oh oh my god this is so sweet like I'm just sat here with the :(((((/pos. Thank you so much you lovely, I am sending you oh so many hugs🫂🫂🫂

#ask box #💧anon #and this time *I'm* getting one of the cuddly friends that you put in the welcome asks that's so cute!!#very cozy very cute eeeee!!!!

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noplanwithavan · 7 years

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WISH YOU WERE HERE

There’s been a touch of holiday season “hiraeth” these last few weeks. Or perhaps that’s disingenuous. It’s not the motherland we miss. We cannot lay claim to that evocative welsh term for longing. Ours is more a background hum - a pang of kinship for the traditions and people of home. Christmas time will do that to you. When the strength of familial bonds tug most keenly. Yet there has been enough to lessen the strain - many friends - old, new and acquired have helped to see us through.

First there was the Osman family whom we met on the Costa Brava at the start of our journey. We’d kept in touch as we knew they would be heading south for the winter, and managed a rendezvous at a campsite outside Caños de Meca. Unlike us they hadn’t gone down the route of wild camping. Their smaller van with a large tent in tow ruled out that option. Instead they’d stuck to campsites - a more expensive, yet undeniably less smelly existence. We spotted their flower-powered van on our approach and followed, whopping, hooting and waving with glee. Despite only having spent a few days together 3 months ago, they felt like long lost friends. Bonded by that peculiar camaraderie which comes from shared experience. The girls picked up with their kids Nancy and Dolly where they left off. Trotting, free-wheeling and carousing around the campsite. All chitter chattering as they shared stories. Rain set in for a few days, but we countered it by hunkering down in the Osman tent. Gossiping and catching up. The adults drinking wine, while the young ones put our distraction to good use. Before we realised what game they were playing, it seemed too late to stop it - dress the parents up in the children’s clothing. Unsurprisingly Elsie got very absorbed in her role as stylist. A particularly fetching ruff was selected for Nancy and Dolly’s dad, Jay, which gave him the air of a Spanish reconquistador. She paused to weigh up the effect of her composition, but seemed unsatisfied. Clearly this was not quite the look she had in mind. Disappearing briefly into the deeper recesses of the tent, Elsie emerged moments later with a triumphal look. Rapidly, layers were added - to the face, and hands. She stepped back quizzically to admire her work, and smiled. The masterpiece was complete. With hands now bound in submission, Mr Osman was transformed - no longer a knight of the Spanish Golden Age. More like a detainee from Guantanamo Bay.

As we parted, Marcus joked we’d have to find more friends in time for Christmas. And in fact, this proved remarkably easy. Rolling our way back down the coast, we made for Tarifa. That wind-sock of a kite-surfing mecca, luring you in with its laid-back charm. We’d heard there was a good free camping community at Playa de los Lances. Surely our best shot at making festive friends. After searching for a few days without success, Marcus suggested trying down one of the many beach-side tracks. One clearly declaimed itself a campervan-free zone, with a hard-to-ignore “No Acampar” sign in large lettering. Venturing on through the umbrella-shaped pines, we broke out onto a runway lined with mobile homes. This was van heaven, curving off into the distance. With a collective gasp, it was clear. We were hit with a serious case of vehicle envy. It’s hard not to marvel at human inventiveness at such moments. The sheer cornucopia of self-sufficiency in all shapes and sizes. Big wheels, graffiti spray-jobs, even patio doors out the back. All these configurations and compromises tailored to individual need.

We celebrated the girl’s 6th birthday here, foregoing presents for an “experience” instead. After some discussion they settled on a rock climbing lesson over horse riding on the beach. It proved an education all round; the parental art of butting right out. Scaling a 40 foot rock face in nearby Bettis, Elsie baulked at the prospect of letting go to abseil down. Contradicting everything she’d ever been taught, the instructor Chris was now explaining how to let go and lean right back. She was not at all keen to put her untested faith in a rope. Sensing panic, Marcus and I tried to help, bellowing up instructions like, “Move your leg over to the right. No, not that right, the other right.” This didn’t help. We were merely fuelling the flames, a volley of overlapping commands fired at cross purposes. That was until Chris turned to us diplomatically, with the words, “I think it would help if you just let me do the talking.” Enough said. He had her down in a jiffy. From a quivering jelly back to full bravado, all in the space of a few feet. And busting to do it all over again.

During our time in Tarifa we acquired a favourite pitch at our camping spot. That curious desire to lay claim even amongst a free-for-all. If we went for the day we’d leave behind a few possessions - chairs, clothes hung out to dry. And there was good reason. Not wanting to lose our place beside the big blue bus. When we first arrived we noticed it had the tell-tale sign we tend to home in on - a child’s bike mounted on the back. Sure enough, 3 year-old Bonnie soon burst forth, wearing baggy pants and a sweet, diffident smile. Within minutes that immutable call to friendship between children had been uttered and answered. The girls disappeared inside her bus. And that was it. We had neighbours. And what’s more neighbours with extended family. A few days later Hilary and Richard, Bonnie’s Grandma and Grandpa, showed up. Swinging by in style with their vintage VW van. This was, it seems, a grand tour en famille. We stayed put, cooking together and sharing food on Christmas Day, happy to be part of this warm solidarity. Hilary and Richard provided an indulgent treat for the girls - spearheading craft sessions on the beach and trips to pick edible mushrooms. After a week Elsie and Lulu were even calling them Grandma and Grandpa, exchanging christmas cards and involving them in parental confidences. Waving hello one morning Hilary chuckled knowingly as she shared, “You can’t tell children anything can you?” I must have looked puzzled, for she added in a conspiratorial whisper, “Just so as you know…we DO have a toilet.” Blushing furiously I could hear my mind whirring…back to that conversation days ago with the girls. The one that went:

Lulu - “I like their orange van. It has nice curtains. It’s pretty cool isn’t it? Me - “Well yes VWs are good to look at, but frankly they’re not very practical. I mean it’s very small. They probably don’t even have a toilet in there.”

Repeated verbatim to the subject in question…thanks a lot kids.

Social indiscretions aside, we would have loved to stay, but Boxing Day brought with it a new chapter. Friends from the old country - the Bulloughs - were coming out to see us. The girls were crackling with excitement. I’m not sure which was more of a novelty - welcoming the first pals to have made it out to join us along this journey, or ditching the camper van and living it up in a flat for 12 days. Sadly I fear it may not have been the relaxing holiday Tom, Charlie, Edwyn and Alice envisaged. All 8 of us squeezed into a small apartment, with Elsie and Lulu clearly the more noisy and boisterous half of their merry band. But it was fab. And as a city Cádiz is hard to beat. This is Spain at it’s most Spanish. We were in the heart of the old town. Crammed into a spit of land, with the port on one side, and sweeping beaches the other. Looking out from up high there is a maze of flat roof-tops, intersected at points by over 100 watchtowers. Faded relics from a more prosperous past. Then stepping outside you’re thrown headlong into a warren of wide, criss-crossing streets teeming with life. I had the unshakeable sense that whole lifetimes are lived within just a few yards. The same faces seen day after day within invisible boundary lines - hawking their wares or pacing the plaza. It was truly an enchanting, beguiling place. Having been told from Grandma Ros that Rick Stein had done a programme on Cádiz, Marcus assiduously followed all of Rick’s food recommendations. And we weren’t disappointed, gulping down sherry, seafood and churros. Bizarrely the only time when people didn’t appear to be out and about, drinking and eating at all hours, was New Year’s Eve. We’d read that Spanish people celebrate with their families until midnight, and only come out much later. Having managed to stay awake until 12.30, we reasoned things would surely have begun to heat up by now. The odd bar perhaps cracking open to offer a sliver of comfort. Maybe even the faint strains of “auld lang syne” calling us forth. But no, the whole place was a ghost town, shutters drawn over large silent windows. If we’d kept prowling the pavements till 2am perhaps we’d have seen a party, but tired and despondent it was just easier to go to bed.

But if welcoming in 2017 was a little restrained, our epiphany was soon to come. Christmas Day is no big deal in Spain. The real festivities are geared towards the Magi. The 3 Kings visiting baby Jesus on January 6th. It wasn’t always easy to coax 4 kids around the city. To avoid the many glittering temptations in every doorway. Constantly beset by stops to the playpark or the irresistible giant magnolia trees. Their trunks inviting exploration, with bark the texture of an elephant’s hide. But if we’d tried we wouldn’t have been able to drag them home on the night of January 5th. Despite multiple separate breakdowns, all 4 refused to abandon their place behind the barriers lining Plaza de España. This was the mother of all fiestas. The Magi were on their way. A brass band heralding a cavalcade of flotillas snaking its way towards us, releasing a collective frenzy amongst the crowd. Small Spanish bodies surged forwards, elbowing their way past us, screaming “Acquí, acquí!” as thousands of sweets rained down. We tried to get a look at the girls faces, to see their reactions to this bubble-gum exuberance. But we couldn’t see them - shielded by the youthful melee they were scrabbling desperately all around - on the floor, under the barriers - for whatever pickings they could get. “Did you like that?” we asked later. “That.. was the best night of my life - EVER!” beamed Lulu.

Leaving Cádiz it was tough to say goodbye to the Bulloughs. But we were also hankering to be back on the open road and in the camper van once again. The last few days have been peaceful, sun-filled and happy. Hanging out along the Costa de la Luz - the surf spot El Palmar, Conil, and Vejer de la Frontera. And the hand of friendship has once again played its part. Big thanks to Ivan Black back home for putting us in touch with his great mates Sarah and Camden out in Vejer. Former Londoners who’ve been living in Spain for the last 12 years, we hit it off straight away. We ended up parking in their garden and had a fabulous day sharing great food, company and the delights of a washing machine and shower. Sarah even threw in a yoga lesson. New friends, old friends, friends not just for Christmas. It’s all good, and it’s set us in great stead for our next big leap. Across the water to Africa - Morocco here we come!

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drarrygirl27 · 3 years

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Thanks for the tag, @unsealingkale !

1. what does your name mean / mean to you?

Oh wow! I learned something new about my name. It is a Hindi boy name meaning, Center. I'm used to reading it meaning things like knowledge, wise, understanding, and water baby. This is very interesting!

I used to hate my first name years ago, but honestly I really used to hate myself for many reasons for many years. I now love my first name as much as I love my middle name. My last name is pretty cool. I used to want to change it to my biological last name, but now it ties me to both my grandma (She got remarried when my dad and his brother were in their teen years. The man she remarried, she had 3 of my uncles with, 2 are still alive.) and my dad so I'm going to keep it for a little while longer. My dad has another brother who I keep in contact with with my biological last name. They found each other through Facebook years and years ago.

2. breakfast, lunch or dinner?

Breakfast because breakfast is the bomb! That is my favorite kind of food, day or night. I do eat lunch and dinner too, but breakfast food will always have my heart.

3. what are you proud of?

I am proud of how far I actually have come in my life. There were times where I literally wanted to just let things be even when it was bad for me to do so, but I still eventually found the courage to leave when I knew that in my heart of hearts that I needed to for the good of my overall well being. I have had to do that a good bit of times in my life and despite how some of it hurt me really bad to do so emotionally and sometimes mentally even, I knew that I just had to do it because if I would have stayed in some if not most of those situations, I wouldn't be where I am now.

I don't have the best job in the world right now and things have been really hard especially with this crazy ass situation going on, but I am so much happier in so many ways than I was 3 years ago and years before that even. I have grown a lot in many ways. I have the Army to thank for that at least partly. That place pushed me to my limits in so many ways that I had no choice, but to see that I really, really needed to change in some ways if I was ever going to get anywhere in life in the Civilian world. It was what I like to call a necessary hell.

4. your go to song on a bad day?

Not sure if this counts, but when I get scared or anxious about something, I listen to "Lullaby" by Shawn Mullins. It feels like he is singing it to me in a way. It sounds crazy I know, but I have loved this song for many years and overtime it just became a really good comforting song for me.

5. have / want tattoos

I don't have tattoos and I don't think I will ever get a tattoo. I don't like needles. I'm not as bad as my mom with them, but I still don't like the way they feel and I wouldn't know what to get anyway.

6. what are you looking forward to post ‘rona?

To go to places without having to wear a mask like the movies and the mall for instance. They drive me nuts! I wear them for work and when I go into stores. At home, I stay mask free because no one has the 'rona in the house because we all wear masks when we go out some where like work places and the like.

7. fave place you’ve travelled to / where you would like to travel to?

Lost Maples Natural State Area in Texas, hands down! It is a gorgeous place with mountains with hiking trails and beautiful unbelievably crystal clear water.

North Carolina. I need to pay respects to my grandma and if it is allowed I am thinking about spreading my dad's ashes on her grave as well. I was in the Army when she died. I was offered to go back home because of it, but I knew my grandma would have wanted me to keep going and so I did.

8. name a personal object in your room that you love

My grandma's and Daddi-o's memorial service discs even though the Bitch Cunt of the Century a.k.a. Former stepmom was in charge of the pictures on my Daddii-o's discs. You can tell because she is in most of the pics. *Sighs* Lord, I wish I would have had enough balls to tell that 'thing' to fuck all the way off! *Sighs* Hindsight is 2020 and unfortunately, all that shit went down in 2017.

This Bitch Cunt of the Century actually had the absolute gall just like she does every year to wish me a happy birthday. I of course ignored it like I do every year. In other words, Go fuck yourself & leave me alone!!! I want to forget that you ever, ever existed, please & thank you. By the way, that statement was towards my former stepmom who is I am pretty certain as a curtain has a spot in Hell waiting for her and not at any of you. I just wanted to make sure that that was clear as crystal.

9. what’s your niche interest?

Hmm... I have a good bit of them to be honest. I will just name my main fandoms at the moment. Rhink, Supernatural, and Harry Potter especially when it comes to shipping. LOL!

10. ideal date with yourself?

Hmm... An ideal date with myself, eh? This is going to sound so weird or maybe not, but either a trip to a bookstore or a thrift and or antique store. I love to check out those kinds of places.

11. share a pic from your camera roll that brings you joy

This cute little thing is Lulu off of Kittisaurus. He is my favorite cat on that YouTube channel.

12. Is there anything you would say to your younger self?

Yes there is. Things will get better than what they are now. You just have to be patient and strong. One day your life won't be completely the same. It will be better. We ourselves will be better so keep your head up kid and don't give up on the fact that one day your life will change and that you will change for the better and that you will be truly happy. Eventually, wonderful things will come your way, but you first have to go through some trials & tribulations that will make you want to just give up, roll over and cry and allow life & people to screw you over. Don't let them! You are stronger and brighter in spirit than you will ever realize. Keep striving to have a better & happier life because you are worth it. You have always been worth it and I love you. One day you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say that to yourself like I am telling you right now.

After that I would embrace my younger self while she cried. That is probably what more than likely would happen if I met up with my younger self somehow.

13. do you bop to music on (I corrected this. It originally said in.) your own? do you sing?

Yep especially while driving in my car to and from work and at work too.

Oh Hell Yeah! I sing way more than I used to especially not just by myself behind closed doors. I don't sing out loud at work though because people could be sleeping and also I'm still a wee bit hesitant to sing in front of people like face to face depending upon where I am at, who I am with, and such. I'm working on it, but I do show my talent to people a lot more than what I used to.

Now that I work at the school district this has changed quite a bit. LOL! 😆 I more than likely especially this summer thus far have given unintentional concerts to some people possibly.

14. is there a type of animal you associate with home? does your house get animal visitors?

Hmm... I was around cats a lot more than dogs throughout most of my lifetime especially my childhood and teenage years.

If we're being sappy though I'd say cats and dogs now. My boyfriend's brother and sister-in-law have a cat that I love a lot. He is what I like to call a sweet asshole. LOL! He can be nice and or loving, but not towards most people. He is kind of like my boyfriend in that way. They're both assholes to people who actually deserve it, but if you're a good and respectable person they'll show you the same kind of decency.

My mom has two German Shepherds that are my fuzz sisters. I love them way more than I thought I would ever love dogs. I was just a cat person for a really, really long time, but now I actually like or love dogs depending upon my relationship with them.

As far as animal visitors go now that Doug & I have an apartment that has loads of cats just casually hanging out in some spots including our patio yesterday swatting at some birds, the answer to the next question is yes. Too bad I was at work when that was occuring. It sounded so entertaining & cute!

15. is there an artist of any kind who speaks to your soul?

Oh goodness! So many of them do. A lot of musical artists, writers, and the like. To name them all would have me write out a novel or two even. LOL! However, I will say one at least. Stevie Nicks is a huge one. I love her and her music too death. She was also awesome in Fleetwood Mac as well.

Ok. So this is going to be possibly weird to do because this post is so old and I honestly cannot remember for the life of me if I ever posted it. If I did I apologize in advance for the possible repeat. LOL!

Anyway, thank you @unsealingkale ! I apologize sincerely if I never answered & posted these questions and or apologize for doing it twice depending on whether I did not post or I already have. Anywho, here are my good vibes to you & yours: 😃💖✊✌️ Rock on! 🎸 Stay safe, Be smart, & Take care! May the Force or whatever you believe in be with you always!!! 🌟🌟🌟

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