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#happy new year
regularflan · 8 hours ago
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youtube music play 3:00 am by finding hope
#when I said this blog is basically me ranting about my art struggles I lied#this blog is also me talking about my 2018 days & mutuals a lot#& idc 😤#I just miss them okAy#tumblr ain't the same without them now that I somewhat returned 😢#the only two mutuals I'm still in contact with are fath & zoe#but like zoe is one of the very first friends I made on here#she was my online bff but we don't talk much on twt just like & comment on each others post every now & then#shit lowkey hurts & is really fucking sad if you think about it#in that one year I just stopped talking with her & literally all internet friends she found new ones & I stuck with fath#I'm happy seeing her interact with her twt friends#she's still cute as ever 😌#but damn being back on here is just as painful as it is enjoyable#I made so many great friends but left very ehh#it's what I like to call the slow built up process of my depression#I'm at boss level 100 rn 😳#but yeah I miss my times here for the most part#me: misses my old tumblr friends deeply & would love to maybe reconnect with them some day#also me: sends asks saying that I hope they're doing well anonymously cause I'm a coward 😀#they're literally ALL currently inactive#but I heard back from two so I'm glad to hear they're doing okay as they are on a somewhat semi-hiatus (':#now I just hope to hear back from the other four cause then I feel like I can finally be at peace#I especially want to hear back from kaori but I doubt I ever will... just hoping he's still around here... ☹#anyway I can't blame them cause I kind of uhh left unannounced like the shitty person I am#but I'm back for god knows how long#alright I need to stfu now it's 3 a.m. & I'm gettig too in my feels#personal 🍮
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fullyfadingengineer · 8 hours ago
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Auld Lang Syne - The Choral Scholars of UCD
Auld Lang Syne – The Choral Scholars of UCD
Auld Lang Syne – The Choral Scholars of University College Dublin471,354 views•Premiered Nov 27, 202015K89ShareSave Choral Scholars of University College Dublin64.8K subscribersOUR BRAND-NEW HOLIDAY ALBUM ‘Be All Merry’ IS AVAILABLE HERE: http://smarturl.it/BeAllMerry
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seniouesbabes · 11 hours ago
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Lily Maymac 🌸🍒💋🌸 Happy Luna New Year!!! Year of the Pig! 🐷 what year are you? I’m year of the dog! 🐾 @revolve @majorelle_collection RevolveAroundtheWorld
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euphonick · 21 hours ago
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Happy New Year!: 2014 Fireworks from Taipei and Sydney
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cinematicnomad · 2 days ago
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my favorite professor from my grad program (and my research team leader) is leaving our university and i attended the virtual happy hour. he called me a “model alum” and said i should be featured by the program and that he’s learned a lot “with and from me” and that he hopes we can continue our work together and i’m just dyyyyying
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tolerablywell · 3 days ago
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Accepted a job offer and put in my two weeks... really struggling. This collage helped
Week 18
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bluelightsaber · 3 days ago
idk if it’s just me but i really hate that us humans are social creatures. i absolutely hate that i have to have friends in order to be happy. i feel like all i do is get hurt by people. my best friend has been really hurting my feelings lately but i don’t know if it’s just me being dramatic or what. like i havent seen her in over a month cause i’ve been away at college and when i get back, she bails on me to hang out with our other friend. WHICH i introduced the 2 of them to each, and now they are hanging out without me. i knew i would be replaced and here I am, alone. again. i wish i could be happy by myself.
i’m so sorry to hear that angel 🥺 that’s always hurtful when things like that happen, even if it’s not even you and more them, that doesn’t make it less painful to experience.
personally I really isolated myself for a few years (all my school was online and because I was new to the area I made 0 friends) and I really struggled with it. it sounds weird but I never would have gone to a little cafe or something alone because I was really awkward and I felt just….so lonely, so it would make me sad and drain my whole mood. but then I was determined to not dread being alone/tried to understand that it doesn’t reflect on who I am/mean that i’m intolerable or something like that. now I feel really healthy with taking myself out/going to book shops and things of that nature and I feel like that’s good for everyone 🥺 but I understand that that’s different than socializing/this situation, I just wanted to share that it felt impossible for me at one point to be happy alone with myself and things are so different now and really helped me 😔. I hope you’re able to make new friends and surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself, because you don’t deserve anything less 🥺
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status24hour · 4 days ago
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Baby Shark Meets Traditional Korean Music♪ | Animal Songs | Pinkfong Songs for Children
Baby Shark Meets Traditional Korean Music♪ | Animal Songs | Pinkfong Songs for Children
Status Aesa Jo Dil Cho Jai ❤️ Download Karain Apna Pasandida Status,Shark Video Download, Friendship Status, Sad Status, Whatsapp Status, Fb Status Aur Bahut Kuch. Title: Baby Shark Meets Traditional Korean Music♪ | Animal Songs | Pinkfong Songs for Children Views: 188515392 Quality: HD Duration: 00:02:25 Note:- Bookmark this Website For Next Time Direct Visit. ⬇️ Downloading Start Timer…
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wolfriel · 4 days ago
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~` 3 New Year Drawings (December 2020).
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Art © Me
ВḲонтакте: https://vk.com/haikalui DeviantArt: https://deviantart.com/riervyen Instagram: https://instagram.com/shireunoss Telegram: https://t.me/shireunoss
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mathildeemdal · 4 days ago
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You know you’re starting to get old when things like buying a new coffee table, gets your serotonin all hyped up!
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soundplusua · 5 days ago
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No copyright Christmas Royalty-Free Music - Christmas Bells Music. 
Here you can find and download free New Year instrumental background music for your creative projects. Free Download 320 kbps MP3 from SoundPlusUA: 
► Free Download a no-watermarked version and USE IT FOR FREE (FREE means: non-monetized videos/no commercial usage): Choose Free Version here and download - https://soundplusua.com/royalty-free-music/christmas-bells/ 
---OR--- 
►Subscribe on Patreon for 5$ and get all current and all our future music with permission to use tracks everywhere: https://www.patreon.com/soundplusua 
⬇️ Link to download from Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/50664194 
---OR--- 
► You can get a no-watermarked version with the license that allows monetization and commercial usage: https://soundplusua.com/royalty-free-music/christmas-bells/
---OR--- 
► Get an All-access pass to all current and future SoundPlusUA music with all licenses. Upfront payment (no recurring payments): https://soundplusua.com/royalty-free-music/aap/ 
About this track: Music that helps to illustrate happy moments in advertisements related to Christmas and more. This music is great for happy photo stories, commercials and other projects with light and easy mood. 
Feel free to contact us via our official Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SoundPlusUA
❓FAQ: 👉 
► I received a claim for copyright infringement, What should I do? There is nothing to worry about. You can use my tracks in your videos for FREE, but without the ability to monetize them on YouTube. Your videos will feel good, they will not be imposed any restrictions (except for monetization). I do not delete videos, your video is safe. 
► How can I use this music to monetize my videos on Youtube? 
Became my  👉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/soundplusua. After that, we will add you to the white list. You will have access to all our tracks. We're adding tracks every week. Also, you can go with upfront payment on our website https://soundplusua.com/royalty-free-music/aap/ and get the same amount of tracks and terms as on Patreon. 
► Can I use this music in my videos? 
Sure! Just download this track and you are ready to use it! Choose Free Version here and download - https://soundplusua.com/royalty-free-music/christmas-bells/ 
► Does this track have copyrights? 
This track does not have any copyright. 
► What is 'Copyright Free'? 
This means that you will have no copyright issues when you use this track on YouTube. 
(c) SoundPlusUA
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artinvain · 6 days ago
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смерть и возрождение (death and rebirth) - Bucky barnes fic
Bucky’s been kidnapped by Hydra, when he escapes, he’s not quite the same...
warnings: none. maybe angst? I don't think it is though.
A/N: unedited. please reblog not repost x kind feedback is welcome but I'm fragile so, be nice pls.
*
James Buchanan Barnes had lived a long life. The beginning was nice. It was filled with joy and laughter and the love of friends and family and silly crushes. This is what he tries to hold on to as he closes his eyes and hears the Godforsaken words his best friend had tried to protect him from. He says a little thank you prayer to lifelong his friend, and one to whatever God is out there, for his soul.
Bucky can feel the soldier coming on, the way snow falls and covers the ground. If you blink and then look down there is no more concrete to be seen. He can hear the soft Russian laden accent of his forced companion, whispered reassurances floating around his mind. Most people would think the soldier would be an unfeeling monster but as James found, he was far from it. Strangely, it's as if the soldier really is his own entity.
"I will take care of it for you," He can hear the soldier say, "you rest," this part wasn't bad. Bucky had stopped trying to fight having consciousness while the soldier was around years ago. He couldn't stomach the things they'd make him do. But, the soldier was built for it. He was born desensitised to Hydra's violence and surprisingly had enough compassion for Bucky to try and keep the images from replaying when Bucky was back in control.
This time feels different though, James is so tired. He's been fighting for so long and really the word "rest" has never sounded more appealing to him before. Steve, bless him, had tried after getting Bucky back to give him a normal life but James knew that this was his destiny. He knew he'd always end up back here. In this chair, strapped down, a prisoner in his own mind.
He doesn't want to live like this anymore! He's finished. Then, he feels a strange sensation suddenly, something he's never felt before when going under. A heat like the sun is rising on his back, warming up all the coldest places in him. A peace like he felt in the 40's watching the sun set and dip behind the rows of Brooklyn apartments with Becca, a joy and relief like when he and Steve made it home from their tour - alive. James has an overwhelming sense of knowing now, it's his time to go. Maybe in another life, he could have what he always wanted - to see his family grow old, to have someone to grow old beside. To see children that resemble him running up and down corridors. Mayhap that's reserved for him in another life. Maybe he's suffered so much so that another version of him does not have to. In any case, Bucky can not stay any longer. But, Steve, Bucky suddenly remembers - his friend, still alive and probably hoping to find him again. "tell Steve," he says to the soldier "I love him, my best pal, he can let me go."
The Soldier has never been confused in his life. Really. He wakes up, he's told what to do, he does it, he goes to sleep. That's his life and it's not really that he's okay with it, he just doesn't know anything else. He did sometimes lurk in Barnes' memories just to see what being a man must be like - he didn't know that he was cut out for it though. Anyway - he's never confused except for right now as he feels James slipping away. Usually, James' mind is loudly protesting or his presence leaves a constant feeling of unrest and a tightened chest that the soldier has learned to live with but, right now he feels a clam like he's never felt before in James. He's so quiet. Everything is so quiet. When he hears Barnes' message for Steve he can't quite understand what he'd be wanting to leave a message for until he can't feel James anymore. It's as if theres a cold cavity where James' consciousness should be. Suddenly the tightening is back in the Soldier's chest. He's finding it hard to breathe. "Where is Barnes!" he can't help but yell, to whom he does not know. Pulling with all his strength at his restraints so he can claw at the back of his head "James!"
The handlers try to pin him down again but the soldier eliminates them with instinctual ease. He can feel the salt rivers gather at this mouth and chin, he's not sure why when they only come if he's being tortured. Everything is too much. There's too much noise, too much light, too much yelling, too many people. He has no mission yet, no purpose - the handlers hadn't even finished the trigger words Before Barnes was gone. Now there's too much space in his mind and there's not enough the soldier to fill it. Not enough personality or emotion or memories. There's not enough man.
He doesn't know he's yelling, or killing or running. He remembers the route they took when they first stole him from Hydra so he runs. He runs, taking back alleys and into the thick of tress whenever he can. It is midday the following day when the soldier finally slows to a stop. His muscles ache and blood is pumping in his ears. The rhythmic thumping of his heart muffles the noise around him and he feels that he can breathe a little easier. There is a massive wall gate in front of him, he knows that behind it lies the enemies residence and although he's never wanted anything - he wants to get in, find a bed and sleep forever. That's another thing he's never felt - exhaustion, but boy is he feeling it now. He walks slowly to the gate but then there's a disembodied voice saying "Mr. Barnes?" and he can't help but punch the little black box he believes the voice is coming from. "Mr. Barnes?" The voice says again more quietly.
"I- I don't know," The soldier frowns at his voice. He sounds like a scared little boy. He takes a moment to evaluate the situation. He didn't even know why he was here. He just thought this is what James would do if he were here... But, what would he say to James' friends? Surely they would be rid of him once they knew James was no longer here? Maybe this was a mistake. The soldier thinks about running again, but he has no where to go and he's not sure if his legs would carry him further even is he did. For some reason he didn't want to go back to Hydra. For once the soldier was awake with no orders, no one to force him to go back to sleep either... and no James to cause a ruckus in his brain. thinking about that last part makes the soldier feel heavy.
"Bucky?" He hears a cautious voice call out to him. The soldier recognises him as Steve, and feels the rivers threatening to fall. All of these feelings - the fatigue, the sadness - it's all so new and confusing and too much for the soldier. He puts his hands on his knees to ground himself. "No," says the soldier quietly so as not to scare James' friend. "I do not know what happened -"
"Why are you talking like that buddy?" Steve asks, taking a step forward. The soldier retaliates by taking one back so, Steve stops walking. "James he's. No longer here." Says the soldier scratching the back of his head. "I don't know." He cries, the more he talks about it the more hysterical he starts to feel again. "I don't know," The soldier says pacing, frantically rubbing and smacking at the sides of his head. "I don't understand -" Steve recognises all the signs of a panic attack or a break down and still he doesn't know what to do. Bucky obviously doesn't want to be touched. So he tries words.
*
Somehow, Steve manages to convince Bucky to come into the compound. He hasn't said a word and he's still rubbing his forehead. No smacking though - so that's an improvement. The soldier didn't know of hospitality or kindness in the way he's receiving it from his supposed enemies. He's has a warm bath, he's wearing new clothes, he ate hot food and he's wearing socks. The socks are his favourite part. His toes are no longer cold.
He recognises the people in the board room staring at him. He's fought them all before. He wonders how long it will be before they attack him. Steve is flanked his left and hasn't let him out of his sight, The red and silver robotic man with a human head stands opposite him - his eyes questioning. Behind him there's a woman on the wall. She's bronze and speaks in difficult to understand English. All the soldier knows is that she's the one who made a prison for him in James' mind. These people have been fighting for hours. Steve has not allowed his comrades to hurt him. He also refuses to believe that he's not James, so they called the bronze woman.
"So, you say you're not Bucky," The woman asks calmly.
"No," the soldier replies, his places his hands under his thighs to ground himself.
"hmm," the woman says "It's not impossible. This kind of thing is beyond science though, the way the soldier explains it..." The woman, they call her Shuri, trails off too look at Steve. "I'm sorry Steve." The room is very still, quiet like what the soldier has been wanting. But a dam breaks behind him and Steve can't stop himself from falling to the floor in a heap like someone stole all his bones. There's a strange tugging at the soldier's heart when he sees Steve's state. "I-" The soldier's first word in hours is enough to quieten Steve, "He said, before he left, to tell you," the soldier says quietly. He thinks maybe he should but his hand on Steve's shoulder, he doesn't. "You are his best pal... He loved you, but you can let him go now." He doesn't know why the salty water is wetting his face and gather at his chin so often. He wipes it away. "Sorry, Steve." The soldier says. And without another word gets up, he touches Steve's should very lightly and then makes his way out of the room.
Maybe he should leave, he thinks as he reaches the room where they allowed him to have a bath. He finds some shoes and puts them on. When he looks around the room he finds confirmation it belonged to James - there's a picture of he and Steve on the bedside table. Another of women he knows to be James' mother and sister. He uses James knowledge to find a bag and pack some clothes. He gets a wallet, it's plentiful. James' mind is still full of his belongings like the room the soldier is standing in. He feels like an imposter. The soldier knows about where he can and can not go, he knows how to drive, he know how to make a sandwich, he knows where to find a "safe house". The soldier says a silent thanks to James. He plays around with the idea of staying but something about Steve's state tells him that would never work. He will never be James. He needs to leave.
The Soldier makes his way down to where the robot-man keeps his cars. The man he recognises as the enemy who wears silly metal wings is standing in the garage as if waiting for him. "I know James and I weren't close but, do you know what he thought of me?" The man asks leaning against the car that James is meaning to take. "we weren't the closest but -"
"He didn't like your costume. He thought you were nice," This makes the man, Sam (it comes to him), laugh, though The soldier doesn't know why. It's only the truth. "Do you?" Sam asks, "Like my costume?"
"No," The soldier doesn't think about it. "the wings are too small," he adds, moving toward the car that Sam has stopped leaning on. The soldier puts his bag in the back seat. "Where are you going?" Sam asks and receives silence as an answer. The soldier only gets into the drivers seat. "You should choose a name," Sam says before The soldier can close the door. "Soldat, that's not a name." The soldier nods and turns this over in his mind. Then he closes the car door and nods at Sam when he opens the garage for him to back out of.
*
When he stops at a garage station to get some fuel, he sits and stares at the ID in the wallet he got from James' room. "феникс chernyshov." It was odd, how could James have known that was the name The soldier would choose for himself? Perhaps, Phoenix muses to himself after paying for the gas, as he drives away I am as much him, as he is me.
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January is the first chapter of a 365 pages book. Write it down
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