#happy old gays make me feel many emotions

[agathaandbrienneslesbian]

Love Doth Run Smooth

Brienne of Tarth x Fem!Princess!Reader

Hello girls, gays and theys I am back with one last fic before the old year ends and the new one starts. Enjoy this short little fluffy and angsty Brienne fic and Happy New Year 🥳🥳❤️❤️

Thank you again for @weemssapphic and other friends for beta reading my silly little fics <3

Disclaimer: English is not my first language!

Warnings: Little Angst, mention of war and wounds, fear of abandonment, fear of loss, taking care of Brienne, lots of fluff.

Authors Note: Brienne comes back home to you after another victorious war. What will you do to make her feel at home?

Words: 1'500+

A03 Link

Taglist

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You were anxiously waiting, pacing back and forth in your chambers. It had been months since you’d last seen your knight and you missed her dearly. It didn’t sit right with you that she had to go to war. You were worried, scared she wouldn’t make it back, but evidently she IS the best and most skilled knight in all seven kingdoms. Still… war wasn’t something you wanted her in. The knight has fought enough. Her whole life has been a fight. She deserves to relax, to sleep, to rest. 

You knew very well that she first had to go to the king and queen, telling them of the war. You knew you had to wait, but you couldn’t. With trembling hands and a hammering heart, you left your room, against your father’s wishes. Sneaking through the hallways, you made your way to one of the balconies overlooking the great hall, where your eyes immediately fell onto your lover. 

Her short blonde hair was dirty and matted with dried blood. You knew why your parents didn’t want you present. The sight of her bloodied and injured physique made your heart ache. She stood stoic as she recounted the events of the war, how many soldiers they’d lost and how many had been injured beyond saving. But they were victorious. SHE was victorious. She always was. Your knight in shining armour, the strongest woman in all the seven kingdoms. But also the gentlest, the softest and the one deserving of all the love. 

It wasn’t a secret that you were courting the blonde warrior. Your father and mother have blessed your courtship, proud to have such a strong knight defending their lands and, at one point, continuing their reign with their daughter. Seeing her stumble when trying to get up from her kneeling position almost made you gasp out loud. She was injured more than she led on to believe. Your strong love. With quiet but quick feet, you made your way back to your chambers, calling the maids to get the bath ready for your lover.

Gathering some fresh clothing and a soft towel, you suddenly heard the door to your chambers opening and closing again. 

“Y/n?” A low, hoarse and quiet voice called out. You dropped everything you were holding onto the bed and rushed out to fall into your lover's arms.

“Brienne!” You whispered, your arms slung around her neck and nuzzling into her, holding back tears. She had her arms wrapped around your waist tightly and hid her face in the crook of your neck. You missed her, oh you missed her so very much. Pulling away, you looked into her eyes and your heart broke. She had cuts and bruises on her face and she looked tired, but she looked at you with so much love. 

“Oh, my love…” you whispered with a shaky breath and brushed some hair out of her face, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. 

“I am sorry you have to see me like this my Lady…” she said quietly, searching your eyes for any negative emotion but all she saw was concern and love. It made her want to sob. The letters you sent her had kept her on her feet, fighting, fuelled by her love waiting for her. She still held you close against her, almost afraid of letting go. 

“No! No, don't apologise. Let me take care of you. Please. Let me tend to your injuries.” You said quickly, pulling away softly, taking the towels and clothes on the bed and grabbing her hand, gently tugging her towards the great bath. She was about to protest but seeing the determination in your eyes, she just gave you a small nod and a sweet smile. 

The bath water was ready, steaming up the room slightly and the maids had added some scent oils, making the room smell heavenly. You sat Brienne down on a chair and started taking off her armour. You made sure to be careful, as not to hurt her, in case she had any hidden injuries. Brienne tried to help you, but you just grabbed her hand, kissed it and put it back on her lap. Once all the armour was off, you started unlacing her underarmour, carefully peeling it off her body. Your breath hitched, and your brows furrowed in worry as you saw all the bruises and hidden injuries. 

“Oh Brienne…” you whispered out, looking into her eyes and she looked away quickly, ashamed of herself for making you so worried. With a soft hand, you lifted her gaze back to you and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. 

“Please don’t feel ashamed of your scars. They're proof you’re still here. With me.” You whispered and stroked her short blonde hair back. She wrapped her strong arms around your waist and held you close, leaning her head against you and burying her nose in the fabric of your dress. The both of you stayed like this for a while, just basking in each other’s presence. After a few minutes, you pulled back gently. 

“Come! Let’s get into the bath!” You whispered as you pulled your dress and undergarments off, holding out a hand for her, which she gladly took. Leading her into the hot water, you were careful to not go too fast and help steady her.

Once in the bath, you sat her down again and moved to grab a washcloth. Dipping it into the water, you started gently cleaning her face, pressing kisses to her nose, her cheeks, her forehead and her lips. Brienne hummed gently, and a small, relaxed smile settled on her lips. After her face was all clean, you moved onto her arms, torso and back, making sure to pepper small kisses over her face as you went on. After her skin seemed to be cleaned from the dirt and blood, you moved on to her hair, grabbing a small bowl and pouring it over her hair as she tipped her head back. With gentle fingers, you washed the blood out of her hair, checking for any head injuries and just finding a dried-up cut. You cleaned it as well as possible and then set the bowl down. 

“Let's get you dressed in something comfortable,” you whispered to her and stroked her cheek lovingly. Brienne grabbed your hand and pressed a soft kiss to the palm of it. She didn’t answer but just nodded in agreement. 

Out of the bath, you helped her dry up and get dressed in some comfortable linen trousers and shirt before drying off and getting dressed yourself. When you entered your chambers, the maids had already placed a bowl of fruit, some fresh water and some pastries on the table. You placed Brienne on the bed gently, telling her to lie down and get comfortable. You grabbed the bowl and a glass of water for Brienne. 

“Drink my love.” You said gently, handing the glass to her and watching her drink it all. She looked way better now that all the blood and dirt were washed off, but she still looked exhausted and defeated. Climbing into bed next to her, she immediately turned to snuggle in. Your strong and deadly warrior. Pride and honour spread in your chest, knowing that Brienne only showed her vulnerable side to you, and you promised to protect her no matter what the cost would be. Laying like this, Brienne gently ate fruit from your fingers, and you made sure to be very careful when running your fingers through her soft blonde locks. A hum escaped her lips and she nuzzled her nose into the crook of your neck.

“Thank you”, the blonde whispered quietly. You knew she wasn’t used to this type of care and love, but you were determined to show her just how much she deserved it. 

“There is no need to thank me, Brienne. Everything I do, I do because I love you, because I care, because you are my soulmate,” you whispered softly, so as to not startle the calm moment. 

“I love you,” Brienne sniffled and wrapped her strong and toned arms around your waist, pulling you close. You set the bowl aside and wrapped your arms around her as well, placing gentle kisses on her hairline as you hum sweet praises and words of affirmation to her. Feeling Brienne relax in your arms, was the most wonderful feeling to you. It almost brought you to tears every single time she fell asleep in your arms. Your strong knight. You vowed to protect her heart, even if you’d have to kill. You would keep her heart safe. 

“I love you, Brienne,” you whispered against her and continued rubbing her back and running your fingers through her hair, keeping her safe from nightmares and anything that could keep her awake. You were her safe haven, her love, her everything, and she loved you more than anything. She wanted to marry you, and she wanted to marry you soon. Being a knight, her life was a dangerous and short-lived one. If she dies… when she dies, she wants to die knowing that she belonged to you, and you belonged to her. That your hearts and souls were one and that even in the afterlife you would know that she would be waiting for you. 

You were hers, and she was yours, and no force of nature could change that. Because when she’s with you, Love doth run smooth.

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Taglist: @erinyaya @vivendraws @phexyce @aemilia19 @weemssapphic @gela123 @winterfireblond @xxmecverxx @unicorniusfallapatorius

As always: Comments likes and reblogs are highly appreciated <3

#queer #gwendoline christie #fanfic #sapphic #wlw #reader insert #ao3 #gwendoline christie fanfics #brienne of tarth x reader #brienne of tarth #brienne of tarth x female reader #brienne of tarth x princess

[renthony]

Mickey Mouse is Gay

I'm working on research notes for my Hays Code video essay, and I'm reading The Celluloid Closet by Vito Russo. While reading, I came across this image:

[Image description: A screenshot from the ebook of The Celluloid Closet. It shows an old poster of Mickey Mouse playing a harp, with text that reads "always gay!" in large capital letters. Smaller text at the bottom reads "(C) Walt Disney Enterprises." The image is captioned with, "When the word gay meant happy and nothing else." End description.]

There was no immediate information about when or in what context this poster was produced, but since I live in Florida, where Disney was involved in the recent "Don't Say Gay" chaos, I felt compelled to go dig up more info.

That digging led me to a copy of Tinker Belles and Evil Queens, by Sean Griffin, which opens chapter 2 ("Mickey Mouse--Always Gay!") with the following:

In the midst of The Celluloid Closet, Vito Russo’s groundbreaking work on representations of homosexuals in American film, there appears a poster advertising Mickey Mouse cartoons. As a joyous Mickey plucks out a tune on a harp, the poster proclaims, “Always Gay!” Underneath this picture, Russo writes the caption “When the word ‘gay’ meant happy and nothing else.” Although Russo separates Mickey’s personality from the modern connotations of the word “gay,” linking the word “gay” with “homosexual” had begun in various homosexual communities during the 1930s. The word “gay” was used in these circles as a method of code to let others know that someone was “a member of the community” without declaring it to those who would physically or legally threaten them. Furthermore, although Walt and most (if not all) of his employees probably would not have known this new meaning to the word when they created the aforementioned poster in the 1930s, it seems that certain audience members were watching and enjoying Mickey’s “gaiety” in all its connotations.

This dynamic becomes more apparent when certain historical evidence suggests that the phrase “Mickey Mouse” itself was bandied about by some homosexuals as a code phrase. Gay and lesbian historian Allan Berube found a photograph of a gay bar in Berlin during the 1930s called “Mickey Mouse.” A lesbian hobo of the 1930s who went by the name Box-Car Bertha related to Dr. Ben L. Reitman in 1937 that a group of wealthy Chicago lesbians threw soirees called “Mickey Mouse’s party.” Bertha maintained contact with these women in order to borrow money, introducing herself by saying “I met you at Mickey Mouse’s party.”

With this evidence of the use of “Mickey Mouse” as a code phrase for homosexuality, seemingly benign uses of the name by homosexual figure take on heightened meaning. When openly gay songwriter Cole Porter wrote the lyrics for “You’re the Top” in the early 1930s, he included the line “You’re Mickey Mouse.” In The Gay Divorcee (1934), Betty Grable approaches Edward Everett Horton, who made a career out of playing the bumbling sissy in Hollywood films during the ’30s, and sings to him “You make me feel so Mickey Mousey.” Although what Grable’s character means by this is left open to interpretation, in context she seems to mean that Horton stirs some emotion within her. Yet, “Mickey Mousey” might have had a sly double meaning—especially when a flustered Horton responds to Grable’s assertion, “Well, no wonder!”

I've said before that completely writing off Disney media is a bad take, because Disney media has been very important in queer history. The corporation is evil, but the art has the talent and soul of countless skilled artists, many of whom are/were queer. Painting Disney media as across-the-board soulless and terrible erases the contributions of countless artists who were themselves exploited by the company.

There is such a long tradition of queer people slipping queerness under Disney's radar and into their classic films. I typically use Howard Ashman's work on The Little Mermaid as my go-to example of this, because The Little Mermaid is a very queer movie based on a very queer story by a very queer author.

So it's pretty wild to learn Mickey Mouse himself has been used as queer flagging!

For more info about Disney Queerness, I recommend the video essay "What Makes Disney Villains So Gay?" by Matt Baume, as well as the YouTube channel Dreamsounds.

(Also, if you want to support the production of my video essay about the Hays Code, you can pledge to my Patreon. I still have some texts to track down for research and might have to shell out to buy them.)

#original post #disney #mickey mouse #queer history #queer media

[johannestevans]

the thing about navigating queer spaces is that like... i'm in very different spaces than i was a few years ago, i'm a lot more in-tune with myself, my needs and my limits

being Assigned Dad by my friends and loved ones: fun, delightful, full of affection, sexy even, adds greatly to life's enjoyment

being Assigned Dad by random strangers w whom i do not have a connection: honestly weird, sometimes an overstep of boundaries, often uncomfortable

like there's such a difference between being out w my friends or home and like... being The Dad about being ~responsible~ or getting things done, or making jokes about how i'm being dad-coded when i'm struggling to send an email bc i'm 97 years old, etc

like esp within the constructed family unit of an intimate queer gathering, it's positive in many ways and comes off as very loving, bc so much of it is based in recognising traits of mine and connecting based off them

when strangers assign me dad traits, or treat me as a paternal figure, like

so there's a sort of labour in some queer communities that's often dropped on the shoulders of butches and trans men and mascs - there's the stereotypical DIY and also acting as "muscle" for other queers

but there's also often an expectation that because we're the "men" in the community (whether all of us are men or not), we have to take a position of being steadfast, less outwardly emotional, less demanding, etc. we're sometimes expected to stoically take abuse and act as shields for other members of the community who are supposedly more likely to be targeted by cisheteropatriarchal violence, and it's also sometimes treated as like...

bc of expectations of a certain toxic masculinity, when we do show vulnerability or emotional, when we express desires to be cared for or treated softly, this is sometimes treated as a negative thing, something that makes us less attractive and less desirable, etc

as a gay man and particularly as a really obvious fruit, i'm cognizant that i don't experience this nearly to the extent of many more masculine trans men, mascs, and butches, and esp those who are primarily intimate with women and fems, but i do see it in my communities and i do experience a little of it

and absolutely like. i do position myself on the outside of groups when we're moving as a crew, i do tend to take the front or back of the group, i'm generally more on the lookout than others; i'm also dad-coded in my tendency to keep ppl to a schedule or en route, i'm good (but cold) in a crisis, etc

but idk, like... i'm not a community dad. i'm not everybody's dad.

there's a certain desexualisation that comes with that that i think makes me really uncomfortable? it's a combination of the label being desexualising, this idea of like... if i'm the "dad" in a group, i'm not being viewed as a sexual being in the context of that group, and it's not about whether i actually want to fuck anybody there bc i typically don't, it's more like

the idea of that aspect of my humanity being set aside, because i'm being reduced to my role as caregiver/potential caregiver to the group rather than in my entire being as a member of the same community

and also, yeah, it's the expectation of that sort of caregiving labour where like... i am so happy to help, so much of the time. i will help when and how i am able to. but i'm also physically disabled, have continuous issues w fatigue, etc, and when ppl continuously bring problems to me when they're perfectly capable of being self-reliant, that's really hard for me, i think

esp now i feel like i'm not being pushed into those dad-esque roles in the same way - a friend of mine might sardonically say "thanks, dad" when i'm being particularly rigid about something, but i'm just as likely to get a "thank you, daddy" when i'm either particularly stern or particularly nice, and daddy i think actually is a lot better even though i'm not a daddy

lots of thoughts, lots of feelings.

#musings

[absolutebl]

I'd like to specify a request for good Thai shows that just finished. They're my favorite for many reasons, and I also enjoy getting to learn more Thai words.

Good 2023 Thai BL That Recently Finished (to Binge!)

(I actually held off answering this one until a few had ended this week because I didn't have many for 2023. It's not been great year for Thai BL so far IMHO. Now South Korea is KILLING it. So is Japan.. in a different way.)

My School President

9/10

GMMTV gave us a classic high school set Thai BL with tropes like messy boys singing their feelings that made this one Love Sick for the modern age with all the gentle sweetness and pining ache, but none of the dated damaging tropes or issues.

Yes, we’ve seen it all before, but I still ADORED this. And there is a lot to be said for the classics being re-executed perfectly. Who let my BL be this wholesome and funny? This show was fantastic, it’s only flaw was the singing (and that’s my baggage).

My favourite GMMTV BL offering to date. And yes, I've watched them ALL. (YouTube)

Step By Step

9/10

This was Thailand’s answer to The New Employee, and everything I loved about that show I loved about this one.

This was an office romance between stern boss and sweet subordinate that felt more authentic to an office environment than previous Thai BLs of this ilk. And that authenticity added tension to the narrative and character development (how novel). Now that might be because it has western source material, or it might be because it is actually kind of old-fashioned (it’s been years since I worked as an office grunt). I also really enjoyed the brothers’ relationship, and kinda wished they hadn’t attempted (and failed) to give said brother his own side BL.

(Gaga & YouTube & Viki)

La Pluie

9/10

This BL takes to task the fated mates trope and what it means to have love chained intimately to predestination. It’s about how faith in destiny before choice diminishes the authenticity of emotion, relationships, and connection. This is a high concept to examine through the lens of a BL.

By activating + examining the soulmates trope this show is challenging a foundation of romance: the idea that there is one person meant to be your one romantic partner all your life. This means that we, as viewers, spend much of the show worried about it having a happy ending, and that’s the source of both its brilliance and tension: would the narrative have the strength to truly challenge its own romantic core?

But, ultimately, all this elevated complexity was executed in a somewhat shaky manner with the narrative derailing into some serious pacing issues and characters manipulated by miscommunication. However, with good chemistry and decent acting all around, plus some excellent high heat and representation of consent and a few other rare tropes, this one has to (like it’s sibling show My Ride) earn a 9/10.

I enjoyed it even as it made me think. (iQIYI)

Make a Wish

8/10

PNR (from Sammon: Manner of Death & Triage) about a doctor who can see the dead and strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel - naturally they fall in love.

Stars Fluke Natouch opposite not-Ohm, but who cares bc Fluke has chemistry with everybody. Once again the Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but still satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay af and has a fag hag bestie and everything.

The cast is excellent but the comedic stylings are too overblown and tonally off. It had sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency. (grey)

Moonlight Chicken

8/10

I enjoyed this complicated little show, even though it’s spectacularly messy gay with lots of shrapnel and authentic pain.

I thought EarthMix turned in their most compelling performance to date. But it was GeminiFourth who stole my heart.

That said, the most interesting central relationship was that of Jim & Li Ming, their father-son angst mixed with evident affection made me tear up.

This was more slice of life than it was BL, but it ended happily so I’m not mad at it. (YouTube)

Never Let Me Go

8/10

Bodyguard romance where poor boy must watch over rich boy for family obligation reasons. Simple premise well executed with a few bumps that made it feel like it was trying to tackle too much (when it wasn’t).

Still, an enjoyable show that benefited from being handed to PondPhuwin who did a stellar job with their roles and chemistry. Is it going into permanent rewatch rotation? No, but a solid GMMTV offering. Of GMMTV passing out new series to established pairs this has been the most successful IMHO. PondPhuwin were about 10000x better in this than FUTS (and that's FUTS's fault, not theirs).

It's typically Thai in that its a bit bloated and has a confusing plot, but at least it HAD a plot and the central relationship is solid and loyal. Their Our Skyy 2 follow up is great. And very much adds to the cannon in a fun way rather than feeling superfluous - making this show ultimately 14 eps rather than the usual 12. (YouTube)

Destiny Seeker

8/10

A darn near perfect pulp featuring 3 likable grumpy/sunshine pairings with uncomplicated iterations of enemies to lovers. At least one half of each does a decent amount of pining and there’s good chemistry, classic tropes, and communication rep. It’s fun and full of linguistic jokes.

Sublimely cheesy but a good rainy day offering with tons of rewatch potential. (WeTV)

Bed Friend

8/10 (Triggers include: child abuse, attempted rape, family abuse)

Office frienamies transition a flaming hot one night stand into a f-buddy relationship that is built on a puppy/cat dynamic (and kinks into it at one point). Our puppy is loyal, smitten, and protective with endlessly longing eyes, while our cat is snarky, prickly, and deeply damaged (ALL THE TRIGGERS).

NetJames give lovely high-heat with excellent chemistry and tuned-in performances of surprising depth, unfortunately the story ultimately failed them. Had the show had the strength of its convictions and kept to a tighter, darker, harsher 8 eps it would have been the first high heat to earn a 10/10 from me, but once they fussed with it, it dropped to a solid 8/10.

Could have been great but was overworked. Still if high heat is your thing, this one will not let you down. (YouTube)

Between Us

8/10

Featuring the hugely popular side characters from 2019′s Until We Meet Again, Win Team (played by Studio Wabi Sabi's most popular, and commercially viable, pair BounPrem - Long Khong, You Never Eat Alone, Seven Project, Even Sun), adaptation of the y-novel Hemp Rope.

It’s a serviceable series about hot swimmers flirting and dealing with family drama in a sweetly earnest manner, but ultimately it squanders the talent in play. I would’ve preferred a cleaner narrative arc, less angst and more plot, fewer couples, and a shorter series.

That said, there’s nothing objectively wrong, sub-standard, or off-putting about this show. And it has lots of consent and other good qualities.

It’s fine. Watch along here. (iQIYI)

This list dated July 16 2023, not responsible for anything that came after, that'll probably be in end of year wrap ups.

#thai bl #Studio Wabi Sabi #recommended bl #recommended thai bl #best bl 2023 #best thai bl so far #Between Us #WinTeam #BounPrem #Bed Friend #Bed Friend the series #NetJames #Destiny Seeker #Never Let Me Go #gmmtv #PondPhuwin #Moonlight Chicken #EarthMix #GeminiFourth #Make a Wish #La Pluie #gagaoolala #Step By Step the series #My School President

[candy-sticks-zaza-blogs]

Hazbin Hotel x Reader(OLD)

Tw:Cussing,Murder,blood,violence,sex jokes, tentacles jokes

•You are a waiter at the fancy restaurant in hell with three stars,why? Because you killed the rude customers and kicked out horny demon out of the restaurant alot.

•You will be looking human but with devil wings hidden in your head,gun shot forehead mark,tentacles tails as an extra hands to hold the plates not the horny way but a sfw way

•At first you were scared and frustrated what to do in hell but than you saw a new opened fancy restaurant,you went in as the receptionist looked at your clothes realised you are a waiter as he greeted you to work here but you always scared the customers by your attitude and appearance.

•You been sent to hell by killing your victims over 10 years that the people went missing or murdered news papers as you dressed up as a waiter to poison the food giving it to your next victims as you are exposed. You escaped from the cops in your car you laugh distracted as you drove into the ocean by accident you try to open the door but it no use as you drown to death during the 1990s

•When Alastor visit the restaurant the first impression with him wasn't great as you always got the bad murderous attitude as he will teach you how to behave by pulling your hidden devil wings head.

"Next time dear you might wanna mind your manners and keep your whining bitchy mouth shut."

"Ow!Ow!Let go of my freaking wings ow!"

•Alastor always visits the restaurant every time greeting you with a smile to eat the corpse from the remaining of your dead asshole customers. Your staff isn't pleased but you don't care since you almost burned the food.

"Mmm!That is delicious did your chef cook this delicious meal?"

"It was me. I cooked it."

"*Choking noises*Mmm...! that's a-amazing dear!"

He always lied with a smile he gave you but still eating the food anyway. He knows you are bad at cooking but forcibly swallowed the food as you go to the other customers he spat it out as he left the bill and left while wiping his mouth.

"I might wanna throw up..."

•Many years later you haven't seen Alastor for 7 years as you saw a silly advertisement of the princess of hell introduced the Happy Hotel for the redemption that sinners will go to heaven which is ridiculous to you

•The restaurant began closing at night as all the staffs leave you were left alone at the table eating the leftovers that the customers didn't eat as you heard the door open as you sigh in frustration.

"The restaurant is closed were not giving you good shit food tonight."

"Oh Y/N is that the way you greet your old friend?"

"Alastor?WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?! IT'S BEEN 7 YEARS!"

Your tentacles raised in strong emotions as he patted your head to calm down.

"There,There dear when did you get that manners from?Did you miss me much Y/N?"

"Yes..."

"Come here Y/N give your old friend Alastor some hug!"

You hugged Alastor feeling soft hearted and butterflies flying around in your stomach. He hummed while hugging you for a while.

•When Alastor come back after 7 years he was scared that you didn't improve your cooking skills but he realised you improved after he was gone he ate your food as you sigh in happiness and stress.

•You are now in the limo having the conversation to Lucifer daughter,Charlie and she gave you free cash since you will have to agree to go to the hotel because you are homeless and going bankrupt as you arrive at the Hazbin Hotel

•You entered as you see new faces but familiar ones. The gal with the cross eye patch, Angel Dust the Porn star,A Victorian reptilian snake,little cyclop girl,cat with wings with a top hat and...Alastor!

"Alastor heya good to see you again!"

"Good to see you too Y/N!"

•Well after many weeks of staying here you began to feel comfortable around new people and sometimes you threw Angel Dust in the trash can tired of his dirty jokes

•Angel Dust kept making dirty tentacles jokes as you are moody about it

"Hey is your tentacles made for kinky hentai gay sex shit Y/N?"

".....Angel Dust."

"Yeaaah?"

"I'm not giving you fucking lasagna tonight."

"What?!"

"And popsicles bitch."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

•You like to cook and give your friends some food that they didn't asked but accepted it anyway (which you feed Alastor to much meat that he was telling you to stop overfeeding him alot) but than you feed everyone some free food

•You meet Lucifer the king of hell himself visiting his daughter hotel as you pulled the steel dome lid to reveal some fondue when he arrived

"Ooo!Fondue that's delicious and amazing mmm! Well I'm gonna hire you to be the butler in the manor!"

"Why ye-"(felt Alastor glaring behind them feeling jealousy)

"Uhhh...no.I-I'll have to deny your request haha! Ahhh...." 'I'm gonna fucking die if I go to Lucifer place...'

•You stayed at the hotel all the time when your friends is out but defended the hotel from the intruders throwing them in the trash after they were killed or beaten up but you got company at the hotel when Keke,the eggy Bois and Fat nuggets helping you out at the hotel

"Boss!Boss!Boss!"

"Yes...?"

"I made a drawing of you!"

"Oh my fucking god..."

"What's the matter you don't like it boss?"

"No...I don't like it....I FUCKING LOVE IT!"I'm putting it on my fridge!"

The egg Bois is happy as you were proud of it on the fridge.

•You were now dragged by Cherri Bomb aka. Angel Dust bestie to the Nightclub as you are angry you got drunk as you accidentally vented them about your past life as Husker cheered you up patting your back while venting to them at the club

•You saw Angel Dust in danger as you beat up Valentino to death by strangling the overlord with your tentacles (Angel Dust regrets about dirty tentacles jokes he made about you)

•You spent time with your friends and give the cannibals some blood drink to respect you.

•When the Extermination began you were armed with guns and knives in your hands and tentacles. Your shirt is unbuttoned and your hair is messy making you unhinged as you killed all the exterminator being a psychopathic sane maniac in the whole battle field as you laugh like a psychopath feeling the adrenaline kicking in you. (Vox is simping the whole time watching and being horny asf tho)

"HAHAHAHAAHAA!!THIS IS FUCKING BADASS!! I'M SO FUCKING HORNY RIGHT NOW!!!THIS IS BETTER THAN FUCKING SEX I HAVE SEX BEFORE BUT STILL!!"

Alastor:'What the fuck?' stares at you smiling but scared of you the whole time watching you stripping off your shirt laughing like a horny maniac.

Adam:Holy fucking shit that's a nice looking big tits!But...where the fuck are their nip-(proceed to get slapped by Alastor shadow tendrils)

•After many deaths and battle you all won you picked up the drawings from the eggy Bois from your broken fridge that have food feeling upset that your fridge is dead as you flopped down to the ground feeling exhausted

"Wow Y/N you ok?" Charlie is concerned

"I'm fine...so that's what sex is like right?"

"Y/N!Do you miss the egg boys?"

"*sniff sniff*Yeah...!Oh my fucking god!"

You cried on her shoulders mourning the death of the egg boys that been nice to you.

•After the hotel have been rebuilt you mourn Dazzle,Sir Pentious and his egg Bois death as you kept their drawings with you the whole time

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #y/n #hazbin hotel spoilers #hellaverse

[detectivestucks]

The Anbu Captain XIII

18+ content, Minors do NOT interact

Pairing: Kakashi x F!Reader

Summery: Akio reevaluates his situation with you causing you and Kakashi to have an argument. Lord Hiruzen summons him giving him unexpected news.

Warnings: NSFW, biting, nipple play, anal play, butt plug, collar kink, unprotected penetration.

Word Count: 6.2k

Art Credit: @akirasukuna

Part 12 New here? Check out Part 1

“Lord Third, I beg you! Kakashi is not suited for the Anbu anymore.” Gai bows before Hiruzen honoring him while he pleads for his best friend.

“Is that so?” The wise Hokage tips his head to the side while the end of his pipe rests between his lips.

“Please, he was so close to being pulled from the darkness.”

“Whatever do you mean, Gai?”

“Lord Hiruzen, surely you know. There is a young woman, he loves her but because of the darkness the Anbu must live in, he let her go. He needs her, Lord Third.” in dramatic fashion, Gai’s eyes leak tears over your lost relationship. When he heard, he was heartbroken.

“When exactly did this happen?”

“Five weeks ago, Sir”

Lord Hiruzen presses his lips together in a firm line. It was as he thought. “Thank you for your concern Gai.”

“But Lord Third!-”

Gai’s objection was cut off by a stern look from the old man before he faced defeat and turned to leave, fearing he had not done justice by his best friend and rival.

****************************************************

You sit in your office Monday morning, excited for the day and to see Akio after your magical date over the weekend. You felt at peace after all that misery. Finally, you could breathe and feel a semblance of normality. Only, Akio doesn’t make his morning trip to your office. It’s no matter. A bit strange but you don’t feel fazed. You decide to take an early lunch and run to the cafe down the street, buying two coffees. You hurry back to headquarters and this time knock on Akio’s open office door. 

“Hey babe!” 

The words felt strange on your lips but what else did you expect from a new relationship? Akio keeps his eyes trained down on his desk. You would’ve thought he was ignoring you except the rest of him froze when he heard your voice.

“Akio?”

You walk towards his desk, setting the coffees down and grabbing his jaw, tilting his head up to face you. An audible gasp leaves your lips as you look upon his face. A swirling vortex of purple, yellow, and blue bruising covers his eyelids and the bridge of his nose, a tell tale sign it had been broken.

“Wh-what happened?!”

“What do you think happened?” He grumbled with spite in his voice. You were hurt and thrown off guard. The current mood between you was a far cry from where you left off this weekend.

“What do you mean?”

“When were you going to tell me that your ex boyfriend is Cold Blooded Kakashi?”

Your eyes widen in horror. No.

“Don’t call him that.” you whisper, still shell shocked by Kakashi’s actions but feeling the need to defend him nonetheless. So many emotions were flowing through you at this moment. Anger towards Kakashi for interfering with your happiness, excitement that he still cares, reassurance that the breakup was hard on him too, despair at the thought of him ruining your budding relationship. Then the sound of Akio’s voice pulls you out of your fog. 

“Answer me Y/N. When were you going to warn me that your ex is the most dangerous man in the village?”

You were surprised by the harshness of his voice. “I… I assumed you already knew” you admit sheepishly. 

“And you didn’t think that it was important to verify that I knew what I was getting into?!”

“What does that mean?!”

“It means a little warning would’ve been nice before I got jumped leaving your house!”

“How was I supposed to know he’d go and do this?! He broke up with me!” your voice starts to rise as you throw a small tantrum. “And forgive me for assuming you knew but I accidentally became a minor celebrity because of my relationship with him! I couldn’t step out of the house without being quizzed about being the Copy Ninja’s girlfriend! Seeing as we are colleagues and friends I assumed you were aware of the idle gossip surrounding my dating life. I mean come on! You only asked me out again because you heard from someone that I was single!”

You were mad. But truthfully, not at him. Though it sure felt like it at that moment. You huff frustrated at him. After a few heavy breaths fill the silence between you two, you lower your chin and ask him in a small whisper,

“So where does this leave us?”

Akio turns his head to the side, unable to look you in the eye. “I like you, a lot… but no relationship is worth compromising my safety. I’m sorry but I don’t want to continue seeing you.”

You feel the tears well in your lash line. You don’t even say a word before turning on your heel and leaving. 

The coffees are left forgotten on his desk as you rush back to the comfort of your office. Your face once more buried in the scrolls as tears drip off the tip of your nose in a vain attempt to distract yourself. Akio’s rejection stinging you, tearing open the fresh wound of your failed relationship with Kakashi. Alone once more…

****************************************************

You are at home cooking when you feel it. Eyes are watching you. You put down your knife and go write on a piece of paper. You pick it up and silently tape it to your window 

I know you’re watching me. If you have something to say come inside and talk

You go back to chopping when you see Kakashi skillfully crawl through the window.

“What do you want, Kakashi?” You try to say it coldly but it doesn’t quite come out right. The hurt in your voice is still very apparent. 

“You were disloyal.”

“Dis-disloyal?! Are you kidding me?! We’re not dating!” you feel the anger rip through you. Your well of emotions overflowing from the mix of disappointment, abandonment, anger, and hurt. “You left me! You broke up with me! There is no relationship to have loyalty towards!”

“You are forbidden from seeing any men.” 

He states it so matter of factly, it knocks you off your feet.

“I’m what?!” You ask incredulously. “If you care so much about me dating anyone else then why don’t you just admit that you want to be together?!” You feel the tears gather on your waterline for a second time today.

“I don’t want to get back together.” 

Liar. Why else would you care?

“So let me get this straight!” Your voice starts to escalate and you begin to shout at him, “You refuse to be with me but I’m not allowed to attempt to move on and be with anyone else?!”

Kakashi, stern with his answer, responds “Yes”

“So no matter what I do, I end up alone.” You huff, folding your arms and looking at the ceiling in one last vain attempt to try and hold back your tears. You lick your teeth, trying to gain your composure. “You went ahead and decided that I have to be alone. For the rest of my life, alone.” You can’t hold it back anymore, tears freely pour down your cheeks, your hands becoming animated as you speak. “You know what, Kakashi, I never asked for this. Any of it. All I did was trip in front of you! You’re the one who pursued me. You’re the one who followed me. You’re the one who spied on me!” 

His face was severe. Your eyes desperately searched it but you couldn’t see an ounce of remorse for his actions. He was colder than the day you met him. The man you loved nowhere in sight. He turned around and left you there, a weeping mess, even more broken than last time.

All traces of his presence were gone. Even his scent had vanished. It felt as fresh as the day he left you. You dropped the knife in your hand as you fell to the floor, pulling your knees into your chest as you drop your forehead down on them, crying into your lap. Tears spill from your cheeks onto your legs, soaking your sweatpants. Your shoulders bobbing up and down as you cried. Your arms self-soothingly hug around your legs.

“Are you okay Y/N?” You hear Pakkun’s deep voice suddenly by your ankle.

“No” you sniffle. “It’s like he never cared. Why did he make me think he ever cared?” Your voice broke at the end. More tears streaming down your face.

“Cause he does care. He’s lost everyone he’s ever loved. It’s easier to push people away than to risk losing one more person.”

You sniffle looking up at Pakkun.

He walks over, bunting his head against your side. You stretch out your hand to scratch behind his ear. His tail involuntarily wags. 

“You know, for a fearsome ninja hound, you sure seem to enjoy being domesticated.” you say in a broken voice.

“Lets keep that between you and me.” He says.

You let out a small giggle. Pakkun sits down next to you, sticking by your side. You felt a small amount of comfort having him next to you again. You really missed him.

Eventually you feel your puffy eyes grow tired and decide to get ready for bed. You put on shorts and a baggy shirt.

“You changed your pajamas.”

“It was too hard to sleep in my old pajamas after…you know.”

A whine left Pakkun before he jumped up on the bed. You slip between the sheets and turn on your side, curling up into a ball. Pakkun makes himself at home on your pillow up by your head. He curls up against your hair, his heat and rhythmic breathing lulling you to sleep. You loved him for checking in on you. You wished he had done it sooner but his timing couldn’t have been better.

****************************************************

Day breaks and you are off to work, letting Pakkun out of your home after breakfast just like old times. You bend down before parting ways and scratch his ears. 

“Thank you Pakkun, thank you for being there for me. Please don’t be a stranger.”

He gives you a smile, “I could never view you as a stranger, miss. I’ll see you around.”

Your heart feels empty as he disappears in a cloud of smoke. Was he summoned or did he just go back to the pack? You would never know.

However Pakkun appears in front of Kakashi as the symbols on the ground fade away where he had pressed his palm into the dirt. Immediately Kakashi catches a whiff of your scent.

“It seems your loyalty has changed”

“Kakashi, I know you still care for her. Drop the tough guy act.”

Kakashi glared daggers into Pakkun.

“She’s a nice girl, certainly my favorite human, and an excellent cook.” He says as he tauntingly saunters past Kakashi, “I lived with her for 6 months, under your instructions, and from everything I’ve seen, she loves you, even now.”

“Yet the minute I call it quits she goes back to Akio”

“Cause she’s heartbroken.”

“Cause she can’t be trusted.”

“Don’t be like that Kakashi. Don’t go back to how you were. You deserve to be happy. She makes you happy. Why fight your feelings?”

“Because-”

“Umm, excuse me Mr. Hatake,” a young genin appears before the man and his hound, bowing and red from interrupting the argument, “Lord Hokage has requested your presence, Sir.”

Kakashi purses his lips, “Thank you” he nods at the boy before turning his attention back on Pakkun, “We’ll finish this later.” 

He said it with venom, furious that his trusted friend and ally would choose you over him. But for now he had his duty to attend to. He dons his mask and launches over the rooftops, hastily making his way towards headquarters. 

“Lord Third, you wanted to see me Sir?” He says with a slight bow, sinking down to his knee.

“Yes, Kakashi. I’ve been doing some thinking.” Kakashi’s interest was piqued. Usually those words were followed by acts of war or an extremely dangerous mission. He would love the distraction of a deadly mission right now. Anything to keep his mind off of the memory of your crying face.

“How many years have you served in the Anbu so far?”

“About ten years.”

“Please remove your mask.” Kakashi obliges, his sharp eyes peering up at Lord Hiruzen as he continues. “Ten years you say? Perhaps I have asked too much of you.”

“Sir?”

“You are to become a Jonin Leader.”

“What?”

“Go exchange your uniform. You are dismissed.”

Kakashi finds himself at the quartermaster handing over his well worn but equally well kept uniform. The one he was issued as a child and slowly traded in as he grew into a man. The steely gray of his armor swapped out for a dark green vest. The same kind of vest worn by his classmates. 

He ran his fingers over the stitching, the feeling foreign to him. Slowly he started to realize the S rank missions would be replaced with D and C rank missions. He would be spending most of his days in the village, training kids, instead of visiting other lands. He had years before he would be away from the village on long missions with his team. He threaded his arms through the vest and allowed it to rest on his shoulders. He zipped up the front and lifted his face to stare at himself in the mirror. As his reflection gazed back at him, his mind began to clear. His thoughts snapped into place.

****************************************************

That evening you peel yourself off of the couch to head to the kitchen and make some tea when you hear a knock at your front door. You pivot towards it, reaching for the nob and twisting it open to reveal Kakashi filling the doorframe. He stares down at you, noting your red and puffy eyes. He felt his stomach twist seeing the evidence of how much he hurt you. Your jaw falls open while you stumble over your thoughts. You whisper to him,

“Wh-what are you wearing?” 

You scan up and down his body. He was dressed as a regular jonin, trading in his signature gray armor for a forest green vest. 

“May I come inside?”

You silently nod, stepping aside for him to move past you, eyes following him before turning to latch the door. 

“I’m making tea, you want some?”

He nods, “yes please.” 

You wait for the kettle to sing while standing in complete silence. Your mind runs wild. Once the kettle’s tune is heard, you pour the water into two clay mugs and turn towards the table to let the leaves steep while you take your seat. When you look up however you see a brown mole under Kakashi’s lip. Both cups clatter on the floor, their structure shattering, fractals dispersed throughout the kitchen. 

“Your…face.”

Kakashi jumped up to clean up your mess. “Y/N, I’m so sorry I scared you! Are you hurt?”

Luckily the boiling water missed you. You stoop down to clean up the mess but you are unable to tear your eyes away from his lips and chin. He is showing you his face…

He sees how robotic your movements are and stills his efforts. 

“Maybe we can finish picking this up later. “

You nod and walk over to the couch together, your eyes locked on him. You both take a seat on the couch together, bodies angled towards each other. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You silently stare at him but he can see the wheels turning in your head. 

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve never- I couldn’t-“ he stops and takes a soothing breath, “Lord Hiruzen summoned me and-“

Your face breaks. Tears leak out of your eyes followed by you crumbling in his arms, spiraling into a full on sob, cutting off the rest of his sentence. Your fists clutch his black sleeves. 

“Captain…” you choke between cries.

You already know what he’s about to say, he doesn’t need to finish. He pulls you into his lap, stroking your hair. He lifts your chin towards his face, pressing a firm kiss against your lips, saying everything that he can’t put into words with a purse of his soft mouth. He pulled you closer before he gently coos in your ear, 

“I won’t make you be alone anymore. I’m where I belong.” He kisses your cheek before leaning his forehead against yours, looking at you through his lashes, “I’m here Y/N…to stay.”

You look up at him with watery doe eyes, unsure of what to say. 

He scoops you up and carries you bridal style to your bed. He sets you down delicately, crawling on the bed to press feather light kisses on your neck. He takes his time, slowly and carefully placing each mark on your sensitive skin. Your eyes close and your breathing becomes shallow. He traces his fingers down your arm before intertwining his hand in yours. His other hand cradles the back of your head pulling you up into him. 

He kisses you meaningfully, there is so much said as he lightly sucks on your bottom lip. The love that he felt for you had never been more clear. You were his home. As he slipped his tongue to dance with your own, you let it be known that he is your home too. It was as if the world stopped spinning on its axis, everything went still around you. Time itself ceased in that moment as you reacquainted yourself with him. You pull your head back slightly, allowing the string of spit to stretch between your lips as you panted his favorite sentence. 

“I love you, Kakashi”

“I love you, Y/N. Now and always”

You pressed your foreheads together before smiling, allowing your breathing to sync. You brought your free hand up to the base of his head, fingers lightly playing with the short strands of hair on the back of his head while your thumb strokes Kakashi’s knuckle in your other hand. You take a moment, focusing on each other, feeling your rhythms align, soaking in the warmth of each other’s bodies before kakashi moves his hands, gliding them from your shoulders, down your ribs and curled his fingers under your shirt, gently tugging up the fabric, lifting your shirt over your head. 

You unzip and pull off his Jonin vest before sliding his black undershirt off his torso. He slowly and purposefully litters your chest and stomach with marks down to your waist band before he drags down both your underwear and sweatpants past your knees and off your ankles. His fingers push into the soles of your feet, gently massaging them before his mouth works its way back up the inside of your leg, kissing your inner thighs, tantalizingly sucking the skin just outside your heat.

He slowly makes his way over to your center, licking a stripe up your sex before focusing on your bundle of nerves. His tongue gently presses into your slit, hooking up towards the skin just below your clit. A soft moan spills from your lips, as you allow your eyes to flutter shut. He worships you, he adores you, his affection is expressed through his tongue. He takes his fingers and uses them to spread apart your lips, while his tongue dives in pushing deeper before hooking upwards again to suck at the skin at the front of your entrance. 

You feel your sensitivity increase and your legs slightly twitch. Your hands move to grab your breasts, kneading the fat with your fingers. His nose gently nudged your little nub as he pushed his tongue inside of you. The fingers he had wrapped around you sank in and groped you. Though his mouth was gentle, his passions started to show as his knuckles turned white from gripping you so tight. He licked up from between your folds and swirled his tongue around your clitoris, running it in a circle before closing his lips around it, and sucking gently. You arched your back and let out a light cry, feeling him stimulate you, seeing stars, as you tilt your head back into the pillow. The fingers that spread you open closed together and slip inside of you while his lips lock over your bundle of nerves. His two fingers drag in and out of you slowly. Pulling little moans out of your mouth while also pulling slick from your needy hole. His fingers worked inside of you, feeling how your squishy walls closed around him, attempting to push his digits deeper inside your cavern. 

Hand working in tandem with his mouth, Kakashi’s tongue flicked over your swollen bean. Your core tightened. You battled to keep your hips tilted up. Then your hands found their way into Kakashi’s hair, pushing him down as he feasted on your sweet spread. 

“Thank you Captain” you whisper, barely able to string the words together through the fog of your mind. He groans into your sex as you praise him, his hand bearing down on your flesh even harder. One of your hands leaves his mop to clutch at the pillow. You can feel your cream drip out of your slit from the magical motions of his fingers and pink muscle. Short breathy hah’s echo from your chest as you climaxed. 

Kakashi slid his fingers out of you and instead of feeding them to you, he stuck the digits in his mouth. His lips closed over the knuckle, eyes falling shut. He missed your taste. He believed he would never experience it again and now that he had you back, he cleared his mind to memorize it. Lapping up every note while he cleaned your mess off of his hand.

Your hands stretch up to his face, your fingers politely grabbing him to pull him down so you can kiss him and taste yourself on his lips. Kakashi acquiesces and leans down, he unties his pants as he lowers his shoulders. You push your chest up against his, needing to be close to him. Needing to share the same space as him. 

You feel his tip prod at your entrance. Your grip on him tightening when you do. Moans escape your mouth while you pull back from the kiss to breathe. Kakashi captures your lips right when he sinks into your slit. Your cream already forming a ring around his shaft as he buries himself inside of you. He stays still, feeling how your walls hug him as your kiss becomes sloppy, more needy, and heated. Kakashi pulls back and thrusts up with purposeful strokes. High pitched moans travel from your mouth into his with each movement of his hips. 

Remembering where you like it, he ran his tip into your spongy spot, the one that could only be reached by him deep inside of you. Your legs instinctually wrap around him, demanding him to do it again. His teeth catch your lip, tugging on it as he continues massaging just where you want him. Each stroke making you melt into the sheets. He pulls his head back, your lip slowly slipping from his bite, leaving it red and swollen. It was truly beautiful to look upon. 

“Does my good girl like that?”

“Yes, Captain” you breathe “Yes”

You rub the bottom of your foot along the back of his leg. Showing him affection and appreciation for how he pleasures you. Your eyes wander down to where your bodies connect, pupils dilating as you watch his v-line rock back and forth at your entrance. Your eyes pan up his body, watching the muscles adorning his stomach flex with each movement. Each rut inside of you, lightly pushing you up into the headboard of your bed. Though his pace was slow, it did the trick. 

This body worshiping session was far from his usual way with you but you knew what it was. It was his apology for pushing you away. It was him remembering how much he loved you. It was him reconnecting with you and asking you to let him stay. He is the love of your life and the flame lit inside your chest burns only for him. 

That thought makes you grip him tighter between your thighs. He feels the added pressure and it spurs him on just slightly. His pace quickening to a gentle gallop, watching your plush tits sway beneath his chest. Kakashi lowers his face to nip at your neck and lick a stripe up your jaw. 

An involuntary groan falls out of you and that’s when he punctuates each time he fully penetrates you up to the hilt. He pushes the bottom of your cervix up to your diaphragm with a sharp roll of his hips, knocking the wind out of you even at his slowed pace. 

Your eyes have a pleading look to them. You wanted him to help you finish. He kisses your forehead, assuring you that he would. His eyes intensely bore into yours, drinking up your pleasured expression as he pounded into you. Pausing slightly after each thrust to feel you constrict around him.

His dick twitched inside of you. The power of the emotions he felt for you in this moment pull him to the brink of orgasm. He sped up his pace ever so slightly to finish the job, your high hits at the exact same moment. His was extra intense as your spasming walls clamped down around his sensitive leaking tip. He almost pulled out of you because it was too much but he willed himself to stay inside. He needed to deposit his load into you. He needed you to be full of him, marked by him, claimed as his. 

“Keep it in” he whispers to you before you could finish sitting up. So instead you pull him back down. You roll to your side, staring up at him before tucking your head into his chest and tangling your legs with his. He holds you close, arms encircling  your body. “I will never let go of you again. I promise.”

Epilogue 

“On your hands and knees Mrs. Hatake.”

You turn around, facing your hickey-strewn neck away from your new husband. He had intentionally left his favorite canvas blank the weeks leading up to the ceremony so he could absolutely ruin you on your wedding night. 

He licks his lips, sucking the iron from them. Proud of his artwork. The wait was worth it. You looked so beautiful in your wedding attire but now, now you looked perfect.

Fingers trail down pinching the snowy fabric. He lifts the hem of your white kimono above your hips. Kakashi’s heart pounds when it is revealed that you wore his favorite gem during your vows. The blush colored jewel peaks out from between your cheeks, welcoming him to his new normal. A breathy' I love you' leaves his lips as he kneels on the bed behind you, hands running light circles over the soft skin of your ass. 

You feel him rub his hardened length against your dripping folds as you lower your torso to the bed, stretching your arms above your head, resting your ear on the mattress, ready for him to enter. 

It was only fitting for the pack’s alpha to take you from behind as your first marital act. He slips into you with no preparation necessary. You had been waiting for this moment, wondering how he was going to be with you on such a momentous occasion. The anticipation kept you up the night before. 

You were anxious and excited. All the planning and coordination kept you stressed for months even though it was a small event, per Kakashi’s wishes. However you’d go through all that stress again if it meant reliving this day. It was perfect. Everything about it was perfect. 

Pakkun made the most adorable little ring bearer, trotting up the aisle with a pillow tied around his neck. Normally he would never carry himself in such an undignified way but he could never say no to you. At the reception Gai stood up and gave the most hilarious and emotional speech, pulling both tears of joy and laughter from your eyes. You had to stop him when the sake got him all worked up over their rivalry and he swore he would find a woman more beautiful than you if he could not beat Kakahsi in a foot race then and there. At the end of your vows Kakashi’s hounds howled towards the evening sky, welcoming you into the pack. And now this…

He slowly glides in and out of you, rolling his hips as he fully lubricates his shaft. He pauses each time he is fully buried in you, savoring how you squeeze around him, butterflies erupting in your core each time. Kakashi pulls a breath between his teeth,

“Fuuuuck Y/N, I can’t wait to fuck this pussy everyday for the rest of our lives.”

Kakashi lulls his head back in bliss, closing his eyes, indulging in the languid pace of his strokes. Your soft mewls ring in his ears. He loves the sound. Your perfect voice tickling his ear drums. 

He allows his fingers to grip you more harshly, stabilizing you as he builds up speed. Your favorite titillation is when the anal plug rubs against Kakashi’s thrusting length stimulating your sensitive spot so well. Ever since your first date, it was your favorite way to be with him. The fullness of the feeling, like you were stuffed to the brim. It was a filthy sensation. You were a depraved woman, fiending for the touch that only Kakashi could give you.

You rock your hips back against him with your arms outstretched. The flesh of your behind jiggled with each collision of your hips. A satisfying visual for a man who just vowed to spend the rest of his life with you. 

The pace of his hips picked up into a rapid series of strokes. He was humping you like a rabid dog, completely consumed by lust. It was as if he was seeing red. The only thing real to him was the sensation of your walls wrapped around his shaft. Closing down on him even tighter with the helpful pressure of your plug. 

“F-fuck Captain. You t-treat me so good.”

“That’s a good girl. Keep taking me. Take everything I give you.”

“Ye-es, sir-ir-ir”

He was pounding so hard you could hardly speak. The weight on his balls slammed into your puffy clit, stimulating it and probing you towards orgasm. It was coming quicker than usual. The evening’s attire somewhat exhorts you. You were fully aware of your disheveled shiromuku and Kakashi’s black robe barely hanging on his shoulders. His glistening abdominals exposed to the night air, beads of sweat beginning to form and roll down towards where you connect. His tip pushed against your uterus threatening to breed you. 

“F-fuck!” you cry into the bed. 

With a particularly punctuated series of strokes you snap, toppling over into your first orgasm of the night.

You sit back on your heels, pulling your forearms under you for support as you twitch and heave through your orgasm. Kakashi stills and rubs soothing circles on your back. He kisses your neck, drawing attention to the skin behind your ear. Placing his gentle lips where it was most sensitive. He slowly traces his hand down your spine, gliding his fingertips over your rumpled up hem and grasps around the rim of your gem. He playfully tugs at the jewel as you protest. 

“H-hey!”

“Sorry dear but to make this marriage legitimate I’ll need to consummate all of your holes”

You laugh. How could you say no? His words spoken in his husky voice are intoxicating. Your eyes roll back as you let yourself relax, body prepared for him to remove your plug. You feel the painfully good stretch as he removes the bulb, leaving behind your gaping hole, ready for insertion. 

Your vision clouded as he sunk his head between your cheeks, his manhood stuffing you full and stretching you out. You felt him push up into a secret special spot that turned your vision white. 

“H-haaah!”

“That’s it my love, cry out for me.”

“Oh my gods! Fu-fuuuuck!”

Kakashi lifted you by your shoulders so that he was stroking into your ass while you were standing on your knees. He undid the front of your kimono, letting it fall open and exposing your chest. His fingers eager to pinch your nipples. 

You reach your hands back, trying to push him off a little just so he wouldn’t go as deep but instead he overpowered you. Hands grabbing onto your mounds and pulling you into his chest. Forcing you to bounce off of his hips, with harsh, deep thrusts tunneling into your warm cavern. The more forceful his strokes, the harder his fingers bit down on your perky nubs, only rolling them when he switched up his pace to give you a moment of reprieve. Then he’d go back to pounding away, working you hard to break you in.

With one last greedy bruising grip of your tits, he pushes you back down onto all fours. He planted one foot while supporting the rest of his weight on his knee, anchoring himself, ready to hammer into you. You already knew what was about to come. You begin to chew on your lower lip as your eyebrows knit together in want. You feel your mouth water, drool threatening to spill out when he finally starts. 

You shriek. He was holding nothing back. He pounded away into your tight sphincter with reckless abandon. You grasp at the bedsheets looking for anything to support you as he throws his entire body weight behind his pelvis as it rails into your hole. You swear he is trying to break the bed. Your throat goes hoarse from your screams. Kakashi anchors you by your shoulders as your entire body shifts back and forth violently swaying from his pace. Soon only choked moans can spill out and you wouldn’t have it any other way. His heavy balls once again slapping into your swollen bean, intensifying the thrusts even more till you wail that you're gonna pee.

“Cum f’me, my love” he coos in your ear.

“Yes Captain!”

You unleash a spray all over the bed and between your thighs. Kakashi fucked you through it, animalistically driving into you. Sweat rolled down your temple from your hairline, the labors of the night wearing you down. 

Kakashi flipped you on your back, pulling out of your ass and pummeling back into your cunt. He quickly pumped into you, watching your eyes glaze over with lust as you stared up at him. His pupils blown wide, looking down on you, his adoring wife. The love of his life lay beneath him. Officially his...forever. 

He could not be happier. 

He watched as your tits rocked up and down with each stroke of his manhood, your nipples pink from his toying with them. He bent down to suckle at them while he crunched his abdominals, still stroking into you. You threw your hands into his hair, clutching at it till he raised his head. They then fell to his biceps. Your fucked out face painted with exhaustion.

You feel him twitching inside of you…finally, he was close. A mean smirk tugs on one side of his mouth and you know he’s coming for the grande finale. He brushes your bottom lip with this thumb before lowering his hand to grip around your neck. His other hand traced down your stomach to your clit where this thumb traced quick circles that matched the pace of his steadily racing hips. His toned abs twitched and flexed, his stokes losing their rhythm till at last he heavily groans, falling onto his hands, slowly milking himself with your walls. 

You quiver under him, holding onto him tightly. You feel his load seep out, fat globs of cum trickling down your taint and glossing over your puckered rear until you collapse, sprawled out on the bed, panting through your high. 

Kakashi gives you a deep kiss before stepping away. Your head cranes over to look at him rummage through your dresser drawer. He turns back to you clutching a familiar object.

You lift your head slightly so Kakashi can slip the leather around your neck, closing the fasten tight against it, while his fingers admire the heart shaped tag. 

Emotionally you had belonged to him for quite some time, but now, you belonged to him legally. He finds this thought erotic as he slips his finger through the small silver loop of your collar and he pulls your face up to his. The leather bites into the skin of your neck. He husks into the shell of your ear words that spike your veins with passion and make your eyes flutter closed with desire. 

“Ready my love? Cause I’m gonna fuck my wife till the sun comes up no matter how many times you beg me to stop.”

“Yes”

~Fin~

Masterlist

Author's Note: We made it! Thank you for joining me in this series. I hope the ending is everything your hearts desire :)

@decayedbong @aq520 @purplerose08 @kittyoverlordxx @narutoverse-write @aquatufana

#kakashi x reader #kakashi smut #kakashi hatake #kakashi senpai #kakashi is daddy #kakashi fanfiction #kakashi anbu #kakashi sensei #hatake kakashi #romantic kakashi #pakkun #anbu kakashi

[fairytale-poll]

ROUND 1B! MATCH 3 OUT OF 8

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Ylfa:

She just went through so much and so much growth and i love her very much.

She becomes a big bad wolf

She met Death and Death wanted her to live.

Great depiction of a teenager by Emily Axford. A lot of scenes get really emotional with her being a symbol of the cycle of life and death and eventually she will always become the Big Bad Wolf.

she faced off with Death and he told her to live. this Death, who was much older than the Death she was supposed to meet, stared off with Yilfa for days until she succumbed to hunger and ate him alive. other iterations of death apologized to her for the story she was forced to suffer through, for the punishment she had to endure over an unrealistic and unabidable rule she was destined to break. her corrupted story turned her into the big bad wolf, into death itself. she sacrificed the beloved memory of her grandma, her namesake, so that her friends would be able to save their world. even though she gained it back in the end, she was willing to live the rest of her life as the wolf, a harbinger of death, and when she was reminded that she was just a child, that it wasn’t her responsibility to guide the dead, she cried, and separated from the wolf. she was able to grow up normal and happy after suffering from the looming presence of death. i’m gonna make me friend also submit yilfa bc they’re smarter than me and can make better propaganda

my mutual really likes her

Her narrative arc about growing up and life and death is so beautiful and her being a werewolf is so cool. Emily Axford gets girlhood like nobody else.

she is the bravest little girl in the world she met death and death wanted her to live she split his skull and ate the innards of death himself she is just a little girl!!!!!!!

PRIMO Red Riding Hood adaptation. Ate the wolf who ate her gramma. Is a werewolf and a metaphor for puberty. Loves her friends. Can break her bones to reshape her body into various animal forms.

Not only did she have to lose her grandmother, but she also nearly dies of starvation and exhaustion until The Big Bad Wolf, aka Death, convinced her to live, by her killing him and eating his flesh, therefore making her Death

Ylfa has a snazzy orange top hat given to her by a very attractive fairy. Three Blind Mice is her favorite story. She brought her grandma lollipopcorn and threw the broth in the river halfway there. She first developed a crush on Pinocchio when she saw him use his nose as a stripper pole and didn't kiss him until they were twenty-one and having an awkward conversation about her grandma's death and Toy Island. She fought a baron with a spoon. She wants a bra. She jumped into The Terrible Dogfish’s stomach to save her friend. She has pinkeye and grandma hobbies. She fought off a shit ton of homicidal tables at once. She is pals with Little Miss Muffet. She killed her family. She sacrificed the memory of her grandmother to become Death. She was basically adopted by Mother Goose (who is a cool old gay dude). She Wildshapes by horribly contorting her body into animalistic forms. She is a Barbarian who acts as a support character. She is the bravest little girl in the whole world.

Behold, 3 minutes of the weirdest and best little girl! [Link]

Her weirdgirl swag is off the charts :) [Link]

Ylfa Propaganda: [Link]

Little Red Riding Hooded Mercenary:

come on just look at her shes so fucking cool

SHES SOOOOOOOO FUCKING COOOOLL ok so like. Lobotomy Corporation takes place in an SCP type facility where a bunch of abnormalities are living. She is one of them. She is a mostly undying humanoid creature that lives for the sole sake of hunting down the Big And Will Be Bad Wolf. She lives in your facility and will BREAK OUT of her containment if she feels that the wolf is near (or if too many people are dying). You can also hire her to assist you in taking down other abnormalities, and she's actually super good at it. And her outfit is just so sooo sick? She's so cool. Please play Lobotomy Corporation it goes on sale for like $7 every Steam Sale

She's red riding hood if red riding hood had a gun. Also she kisses women

Monster based on human subconscious aka an Abnormality based on the story of Little Red Riding Hood (duh). In this story, she was mauled by the wolf (Big And Might Be Bad Wolf) who is based on all fairy tale wolf villains. Little Red then got to work plotting her revenge and making Bloodborne-esque gear for herself and the two Abnos are locked in eternal combat of hatred for one another

She's literally the coolest, just look at her. For people who might not be so familiar with her: She's one of the abnormalities that remain locked in the Lobotomy Corporation. Her past is somewhat unclear, but she has some horrid scars on her face due to the Big Bad Wolf and she swore vengeance upon him because of that incident. This lead her to become a mercenary and she looks 1000% scarier and more badass than the wolf lol. Also, asides from the fact that she may kill half of your team if she escapes containment, she is quite chill and will even help you take care of your problems if you pay her.

little red riding hood but consumed by vengeance to the point of becoming an anomalous creature hellbent on completing her eternal battle with the wolf. intense desire for revenge. baller as fuck design. will help you kill other escaping abnormalities but you gotta pay her to do it. gets pissed off every time someone escapes containment except for that one annoying bird for absolutely no discernible reason. if you let her kill the wolf she gives you bonuses but if someone else kills the wolf she goes fucking bananas. truly an inspired feral creature of a woman.

Go girl!!! We love your unrestrained violence!

She is literally the absolute coolest!!! I mean, just look at her design! Everything about it screams fucking cool! Not to mention that her story has themes of vengeance, rage, and grief!!! And Lobotomy corporation is just the fucking best and soooooo underrated.

She's starting to fall behind so GO ON AND VOTE MERC WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! (and buy Lobotomy Corp on steam it's not even that expensive!)

Vote for Riding Hooded Mercenary she's an Abnormality serving as a hired merc that means shes a hunter of her own kind and she WILL chase them to the ends of earth lest she dies herself or knows that damn Wolf is nearby. The cursor for sending hits on something is a wanted poster. She's WAW-classed too, a step below the most dangerous category for her ilk. she shares the class with things such as insane-ass magical girls, an eyeless flower horse turns people into wisteria gardens, fucked up and evil Little Prince, a bird judge that hangs its victims, the now-animate poisoned apple that killed Snow White, and of course the Wolf itself.

#red riding poll #round 1 #round 1b #ylfa snorgelsson #dimension 20 #dimension 20: neverafter #f-01-57 #little red riding hooded mercenary #lobotomy corporation #red riding hood #little red riding hood #polls #character polls #poll tournament #poll bracket #battle of the 'idk they just sort of had similar vibes to me based on the propaganda but i havent consumed either of these medias'

[omarera]

So so proud of Omar. I am so happy he is let in to new types of media. SvD and DN are the biggest national morning news papers in Sweden. He has been in evening papers and might be silly but I am glad he is covered in these papers. And now also Hellenius Hörna and Så mycket bättre. Thank You TV4. Now let’s hope national radio stations let his music in as well.

Here are some bits of the interview in SvD. It resembles his Sommarprat and nothing new for us really but a really nice interview with a nice tone in it and it will reach many households in Sweden that still has morning papers…

He talks about where he was a few years ago from the interview and I think it’s beautiful that he opens up about feeling lost, experimenting and on his journey to get to know himself and feel confident being who he is and that he also dares to vocalize his dreams. Remember that Jantelagen is strong in Sweden and vocalizing such big dreams is not usual. His journey continues!! I so want for him to reach his goals❤️

They start off with his FO&O and talk a out his bringing and his mom and dad and moving to Sweden.

One thing he hasn’t touched so much on before is how being known so young affected him:

“It was the sickest thing I've ever been through. It was both a kick and very scary to break through, especially when you were alone in town or going home on the bus. I was up in Stockholm and felt very watched. It was an emotional rollercoaster.”

He takes a deep breath.

“Every single person my age has known about me since I was 14 years old. It has been very intense and probably affected me in different ways. I've probably become more shy and stick mostly to my friends that I've had for many years.”

(We know he always pick stay home and that he is very close to his friends and has a circle of friends he feels safe with. And then about after FO&O)

“I released a few singles, but then the pandemic came and everything was put on hold. That's when it started.

Omar Rudberg puts one hand in his baggy leather jacket pocket and looks out through the Connection Hall in the Slaughterhouse area, where we met on a cool autumn afternoon.

“I was incredibly lost. Both in my professional role and in myself. I had no idea who I was or what I was going to be, what I liked and didn't like.

He set out on an experimental journey.

- I tried to find myself and started hanging out very intensively with friends. We hung out every day and became almost like a collective. It was incredibly fun and above all nice to see people who were in different ways.”

(I also liked this part where he talks about his creativity: )

“In the new homeland, the song and dance continued to be palpable, as did Omar's wild imagination. By the age of eight, it was so intense that his parents took him to a child psychologist.

- What they reacted to was that I didn't need toys. I could just enter another world, be chased by dinosaurs or have the worst action movie in my head. But I wasn't crazy, the child psychologist noted, just a child.

The creativity and musical gift can be traced to the grandmother and the mother. Early on, the latter ensured that Omar participated in talent competitions, often with success.

(And then more in creativity and using it to find yourself)

- My friends and I started trying different types of clothes. We played music and got dressed up. Some tried to put on makeup and nail polish. I really experimented. Those who are not in the know immediately think that a guy who wears make-up is gay or transgender - that bothers me. Make-up should not have to have an orientation, it should be for everyone. Now I wear black eyeliner when I feel like it without being ashamed.

Playing with the outside became a way to find home more in one's inner self, and the fact that Omar was named Best Dressed Man of the Year by the magazine Café this spring is something of a receipt for that.

- I have realized that I have to feel comfortable, stable and free with who I am if I am to be able to move forward in life. Clothes clearly play a role in that. They can also help me get into a certain character more easily.

(There is more text in YR and Karusell but he gets back to: )

“Although it is as an actor Omar has become known in recent years, it is the music he wants to focus on the most in the future. A few days ago, the new single Off my mind was released and tonight is the premiere of this year's So much better on TV4, where Omar is one of the participants.

Perhaps the participation will also be revenge for Omar as a solo artist.

- Yes, I hope people are reminded that I'm actually a singer at heart, it's music that I love the most. I'm looking forward to releasing an album eventually and especially to playing live.

A decade has passed since Omar Rudberg first broke through, when I ask what he thinks life will look like in another ten years, he first laughs at the thought of being 35. Then comes the answer:

- I want to have done the sickest gigs, have had several hits and be out on a world tour. I want to be in a Latin American TV series or movie and for my own company to be worth an incredible amount of money. I will not buy a Lamborghini, but a nice apartment for my mother so that she can be free as a bird. I want to give back everything I got from her.

He runs his hand through his slightly wavy hair and walks over to the mirror to get ready for the photo shoot.

- I would never have dared to have it this way a few years ago. Thankfully, I am much more confident in myself now.

You're not as lost anymore?

- No, I have grown a lot in recent years and now I feel stable enough to take myself forward in life. But I'm probably not quite there yet, the journey continues …

Translated bits from: Elin Liljero Eriksson - 23 oktober 2023 SvD Magazine.

#omar rudberg #SvD

[naranjapetrificada]

This is going to be long so the short version is this:

I convinced my therapist to watch the 🌟Gay Pirate Show🌟 and now I have to confront a previously unidentified and terrifyingly deep emotional wound that could be as transformative to heal as it is terrifying to approach.

My therapist and I have a lot of let's say...demographic things in common that have made this the most successful therapeutic relationship I've ever had, but also that just made me think he might like the show. It's no secret that ofmd has been a deeply moving experience for its viewers, and queer, neurodivergent, and/or people of color have written at length about the special ways it touches us (or doesn't). Those are three categories both he and I fit into and it feels relevant to say that for context.

So yes I thought he might like it, but I also wanted to pick his brain about Big Feelings it was giving me that I hadn't experienced with the same intensity with other media/fandoms. Y'all, he gave me a completely unexpected reading on the show (and its story and its fan works) and why it makes us feel So Much that I haven't seen anywhere before.

When I say Big Feelings, I mean like I've literally had to swear off a couple of pretty innocuous categories on AO3 ("Growing Old Together" and "Domestic Fluff") because they would devastate me in ways that I couldn't attribute to anything specific. Growing Old Together comes with the possibility of death separating them, which is heartbreaking, but that didn't feel like it was the thing that was gutting me. Domestic Fluff could probably be called the most innocuous tag ever, but anything that saw our blorbos settling down and watching the Revenge sail off into the distance was fucking me up as well.

There are plenty of reasons why OFMD makes queer people feel so much, but when I say this was fucking me up I mean like, well, remember when people outside of classical music started learning about appoggiatura? Like intellectually knowing why I was crying but at a loss how intense everything felt. And my therapist (who is as good at analyzing a text as he is at being a therapist) was like "oh, it could be all the grief."

The grief.

The audacity of this motherfucker (affectionate).

It's a romcom! It's a romcom that we were explicitly told would have a happy ending! It's a romcom where the characters will get to sail off into the sunset together like they want and like we want for them! Stede and Ed, after four decades of self-hatred and trauma and fear and isolation, somehow find each other. And one of the sweetest things about their story is that it's a late in life love story, because it's incredibly inspiring for someone to get to experience a part of life they thought wasn't for them. The inescapable fact that their time together will be shorter than any of us would like is sad but not unaccountably sad to me, because of how much joy they'll be able to cram into the time they have left. I could be wrong but I don't think that alone is the source of what's been overwhelming me.

Grief is a constant presence in the world-building and the storytelling because grief is a natural response to well, so many things about being alive. Grieving is some of the hardest shit any of us ever have to do, but it's also so universal and so many of the things that make us uniquely human also make grieving well, maybe not easier, but something we can endure and process through ritual, community, and the example of those we've witnessed grieving their own losses. Many kinds of grief come with narratives that you can accept or reject all or parts of, but the narrative exists.

But have you ever heard of disenfranchised loss? Loss that's not easily labeled or classified or given the time or space or understanding it deserves? Have you experienced a loss like that? Can you imagine how much more difficult it makes the grieving process?

Well what my therapist suggested, the thing that knocked me on my ass hard enough that I had to come have Online Feelings about it, is that eventually, we all have to mourn ourselves. Not necessarily in a "mortality is inevitable" way (that happens to everyone) but in ways that are often unique to people like him and me (black, ND, queer). Even if we work on ourselves, if we grow and heal our trauma and feel at home in our identities and our bodies and build beautiful lives, eventually we will be forced to mourn the selves that we never got to be in the societies in which we live and the selves we once had to become to survive this long.

And that mourning is a kind of disenfranchised loss, with no clear path forward. Obviously this conversation happened within the context of everything my therapist knows about me as an individual, but I thought certain things might resonate with other fans as well so I wanted to talk about it. The story of this bizarre little man and his remarkable second act and his lovely little found family and his incredibly beautiful love story (that we've been guaranteed will end happily) is still haunted by the specific kind of grief that comes from learning what's possible, and regretting that you didn't know it was possible sooner.

And does anybody have more delayed milestones, later-in-life discoveries, and/or need to invent places for themselves than those of us on the social fringes? Than those of us in societies unequipped for (or actively hostile to) the ways we exist and the things we need to survive and thrive? Than those of us who have to create our own narratives or be saddled with inaccurate or harmful narratives created by others, or even no narrative at all?

And narrative is so much. Narrative is everything. Narrative is the story we tell ourselves and each other and that literally shapes our reality. So those story beats where we discover something better than what came before are inherently stories with loss and will require mourning, because we mourn loss.

Even when the story has a happy ending. Especially when the story has a happy ending for someone who never thought they would be allowed to have one.

I mean just like, FUCKING HELL. I can't blame anyone for this but myself. I know my therapist. I know how insightful he can be. I did this to myself and now I have to live with it. But my god is it a massive mountain I'm about to have to climb now. My therapist and I have always found it helpful to discuss media that makes me Feel Things (see all the trauma work that came from Life is Strange) but if you had told me that I'd be looking into this new dark cave of unprocessed shit thanks to what I thought was just gonna be a harmless little gay pirate show starring fucking Murray from Flight of the Concords I would probably just have assumed you were in the middle of having a stroke and taken off to get you the medical attention you desperately needed.

#not to be dramatic #but I definitely worry this might still be dramatic #my therapist is great #but the problem with a good therapist #is that sometimes they will fucking read you #and then you get whiplash #don't be afraid to bring up media that speaks to you in therapy #you never know what might come of it #or how much it might shake you #I should also be clear that all this grief in a story with a happy ending isn't a bad thing #it just kind of is #and when you enjoy it #just enjoy it #every moment of joy is a gift #no matter the context #go ahead and grieve yourself #also I couldn't find an elegant way to fit this in #but the storytelling is very neurodivergent #or at least unfolds in a way that is friendly to my neurodivergence #that's why I'm not a big TV watcher anyway #but I was able to sit down and mainline this #it's the first new show I've watched in literal years #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #our flag means death meta #🤯🤯🤯 #😳😳😳 #disenfranchised loss

[alaskashigh]

Tw: Child abuse and sensitive topics.

Texas headcanon (i’m not projecting-)

When Texas was a small child, he had a music box that played a lovely song. (In The Shadow of The Valley, because it’s a comfort song for me right now and it fits him) The music box had a little horse and cowboy that would move up and down, but it was pretty old and creaky so sometimes it would move a bit sporadically and the music would sound scratchy.

The music was a huge comfort for Texas, and so he would bring it everywhere with him. He loved sitting outside and listening to the music box loop with his old dog. It helped him ignore the many times Texas’ dad wasn’t the best to him or wouldn’t follow through with what he promised.

The comforting sound would lull him to sleep at night and keep nightmares at bay, like a guardian protecting him in his sleep.

He loved this music box and would take as good care of it as he could.

His dad, on the other hand, didn’t like the music box. He always said that “no boy should have a music box.” and that he was “raising a pussy.”

These words always hurt Texas, but his dad would normally put him down, so he pretended it didn’t hurt as much as it did.

One day, his dad got so fed up with the music box that he took the thing out of his hands. Texas was upset to have his music taken from him, but even more terrified at what his dad might do to the box.

His dad screamed and yelled at him, calling him “gay” and “a little bitch.” He said he was embarrassing to raise, which hurt more than Texas would like to admit.

He expected him to hurt him, it was weird when his dad wasn’t hurting him in some way,

He never expected his dad to break the only comfort he had in life.

Texas was in shock for awhile when he watched him throw the box to the floor, smashing it with his boot heel as he yelled more at him. He wasn’t listening, couldn’t hear anything but the ringing in his ears.

He hadn’t even noticed that he started crying until he felt his fathers hand slap his face and tell him to “stop crying like a little bitch.” or, that’s what he thinks his father said.

He gathered all of the pieces that he could and kept it hidden in a safe place. Without the music he couldn’t sleep well, was irritable, and slowly lost himself to horrible thoughts.

He became very angry at himself, blaming himself for being too much like a pussy, that if he had matured more and been more of a man that he wouldn’t had disappointed his father so much.

The music box, although a good memory and a soft spot in his heart, angered him. It made him sad, angry, happy, so many emotions at once. He hated that music box, he loved it with every bone in his body. There was no inbetween.

Years later he found the music box pieces in a small and old torn silk bag, that was browning with age and covered in dust. He nearly had a heart attack when he saw the pieces inside, dropping the once clean silver cowboy and horse piece with a scared look on his face.

He shoved everything back in the bag and hid it again, trying his best to forget about the music box as his mind was riddled with memories he didn’t want to remember again.

Weeks later and with no luck of forgetting the music box, he pulled it out of it’s hiding space and slowly pulled out the pieces onto his desk. He nearly cried as he stared at the broken box, getting hit with wave after wave of episodes, good and bad memories making him feel physically ill. He felt weak as he shakily picked up each piece and examined them.

It wasn’t long before everything was too much for him and he found himself puking in his bathroom.

It took him months before he found himself back in front of the little broken music box. And even longer before he decided to try and fix the thing, to try and listen to it at least one more time.

With aching fingers, many failed attempts, and more swears said in three weeks than his entire life, he had brought the small box back to life. It wasn’t as pretty as it used to be, some bits of the box were too cracked to fully seal up and small holes littered where wood once used to be, but it was the best he could do with the original pieces without using any new materials.

That night he listened to the box play for the first time in many years and cried.

#tw child abuse and sensitive topics #wttt texas #wttsh texas #welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #wttt #wttsh #ben brainard #i’m projecting

[miscellanyofmusings]

Rifftrax Sentence Starters

“______, didn’t I dispatch you to hell earlier?”

“ ______, shut up forever.” 

"Alright. That does it. I officially have no idea what we're looking at, why we're here, or even who I am anymore."

“And I pray that I never have to emote any more than I just did. I'm exhausted.”

“And if you're ready, _____, may I offer you a wide-awake nightmare?

“Aw man, I thought we could trust the slimy loser.”

“Being a creepy evil creep is a reward in and of itself.”

“Bland? I mean, honey? Can I make you some bland milk? I mean, warm bland? I mean, warm milk?”

“Careful, they might miss at you.”

“Die! Die in a fire! Live again and then die!”

“Did you guys just see that or has my brain fully melted?”

“Do you think you can do me the teensiest favor and just kill me now?”

“Feels like an NPR audio essay is about to break out.”

“Forgive me, Father. I killed like eight guys today.”

“Fuck you. Pay me."

“Having knowledge about things is not really my specialty.”

“He died as he lived: looking dumb as Hell.”

“He has all the fighting skills of a sock monkey."

“Hell is other people and stuff.”

“I’m condescending for no reason, got it?” 

“I've tried nothing—And it's not working!"

“I can’t answer your question because that would acknowledge you exist.”

“I can’t live with myself knowing there’s something out there I haven’t murdered.”

“I don’t want to oversell it, but it will fill you with sadness.” 

"I find words difficult because I can't punch them."

“I have a two part question. One, will I ever feel joy again? Two, what did I do to deserve this?”

“I hope you like really tough burnt meat and shitty scotch.”

"I love it when a plan sort of slowly congeals together."

“I thrive on your ignorance.” 

“I tripped and fell up five flights of stairs and landed here.”

“Is your torture basement even up to code?”

“It’s not what you said; it’s that you exist.”

“It irritates me too that I can defy logic, time, and physics."

"It is pleasant to be happy because it increases our amount of gladness."

“Let's carpe diem and mumble and mope like we've never mumbled and moped before!”

“Mind if I dial up the gay?”

"Never have I cared so little about so few for so long."

“Nothing calms a kid more than a poster of a deranged clown.”

“My philosophy is to see how many Pop-Tarts I can eat in two minutes.” 

“No, don’t, ____, please! Seriously! I will kill all your enemies! Please!”

"No good story ever starts with ‘so there I was, pouring gasoline all over the dead girl’s body.’”

"Oh good. Something else for the Gallery of Things That Should Not Be."

“Oh, thoughtless sociopath, you’re my best friend.”

“Okay, so I’ll take that ominous cryptic answer as a firm yes.”

“Our hero— again, fighting like a sociopathic four year-old.”

"Please don't ruin this moment by surviving!"

“Rush in blindly! A plan can only hinder us!"

"Screaming? Laughter? At this point, what's the difference?"

“So where do you think you’re gonna dump my body?” 

"So…You give up here often?" 

“Society as we know it would disintegrate if people knew the truth about whatnot.”

“Thank you, most boring sounding person in the world.”

“That’s a very friendly murder threat.”

“That sounded a lot more menacing and less gay in my head.” 

“This is my bullshit lecture!” 

“Wait a minute, I thought you said ‘pass the time,’ not ‘destroy all hope in the universe.’” 

"We are reconciled now through the cleansing power of violence."

“Well, that was neither fun nor interesting, but at least it gave us no new information.” 

“Well, time to pretend I know stuff.”

"Well, whoopty-shit."

"Welp... Forgone conclusion ain't gonna forgone conclude itself."

“Who can resist an asshole?”

“Women, right? Always like, ‘This seems fatally stupid!’ Blah, blah, blah.’”

“Yeah, I do feel my own mind drifting through thoughts of Socrates—in that I want to drink hemlock and die.”

"You're a lying liar who lies! You lie!"

“You're not allergic to severe acid burns, are you?”

“You taste like libertarianism and cigars.”

“Your evil is reassuring.” 

“Your violent, misogynistic criminal vibe lets me know I can trust you.” 

#rp meme #sentence starters #rp starter #meme #memes #murder /// #violence tw #chaotic sentence starters #rp prompts #roleplay prompts

[aromantic-diaries]

So like.

I've been struggling with the whole, feeling like my emotions are compatible with the aro identity I'm working to accpet.

I have a bf (3 years now), and I know I would be sad if we broke up you know? I've dated in the past, a little, and I was mildly put out when my first bf broke up with me. I am happy when my partner is around, because when he's not I'm alone. But when he's not around, and I'm not alone (Say, I spend time with friends with notable frequency), I am equally happy as when he is around. If not happier.

I just. I didn't realize I was gay until I was like, 15. I feel like every crush I've ever had was me talking myself into it: "Oh damn, I want to make out with him. Wait I've been thinking about this guy a lot lately, does that mean I have a crush? I have a crush, therefore I Must want to spend my life with him!" And like. Yeah, duh I want to make out with him, but I also want to spend time with him casually as a friend? But of course, Every 15-25 year old Must be in and out of relationships until they find ☆The One☆.

Idk. It's just. I feel strongly, all the time, about everything. I hook up with someone, and there's never a point where they're not a person to me. I want to Talk to them as a real person. Dating wise I always Want to be a good friend before going out with someone, and then it's still just being friends but also sexually intimate. I have always felt Equally strongly about the guys I have dated and the friends I keep.

I Feel like I would be happiest if I had a tight knit groupd of friends, some of whom sex is a part of our friendship. I can't fathom building my life entirely around a given person: It's not like it would be easy without income from another person to become a stay at home parent, but I have absolutely no parameters in my mind about who that income should come from.

My hair dresser told me It sounds like I dreamed of skipping through marriage, straight to being a divorcee parent on child support. It sounds aweful, but that almost exactly the vision. I want to be my whole self, and eventually I want to be a parent, but we are told for so long that both of those things require a romantic partnership.

Does any of that make sense for aromantic experiences?

Navigating life as an aromantic person can get difficult at times and I bet there's many people who can relate to what you're going through. I do however think that having close lifelong platonic relationships is something that can be achieved, even though it's viewed as unconventional by societal norms. I do believe in you

#anon #mail time

[caelum-et-ocean]

This is getting a bit long and emotional so i’m gonna put a cut in case you don’t wanna read all of it

tldr: i’m reflecting on my time on tumblr and thanking some people (DW IM NOT QUITTING, I JUST FEEL LIKE BEING NICE TODAY LOL)

i’ve always felt like i could always just be my true self here on tumblr ngl. like, i could be free to just post about whatever interest i had and then i wouldn’t get insulted or bullied for it 😭

i remember being super scared to even start posting about Yuurivoice in the beginning since i thought i would get teased for liking asmr, but i was pleasantly surprised with how kind and accepting everyone was!!

now that all this time has passed, i would like to say that i am really, really glad that i was able to make so many friends here, and i love how we all made such a great community 🫶🫶

i’m doing some individual shout outs now, i’m sorry if you weren’t included here, these are just the people that really made all the difference in my little tumblr journey

@tqnk and @milosirlgf i think i already said this in jay’s inbox before but no joke, you two were the reason i wanted to make a tumblr account and start posting here LMAO

i think i still remember both of your old urls (i believe they were hhawks and gay-jay?) and i also really enjoyed seeing both of your posts when i first started listening!!

you’re both really funny and amazing to talk to, and i’m glad i got the chance to be able to meet both of you personally!

@p0pp3t and @sweetangle8 I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCHHH Una you were also one of my first moots LOL Both of you always make me so happy when I see you <33

And Tallu, you were the entire reason i actually gained the courage to start tuning into calls on Discord + being able to form a closer bond with everyone else, so thank you so much for that! You and Una brighten my day every time I talk to you, and I love all the jokes we end up making, whether it’s about Redacted david specifically or OCs!!

@anunmarkedface You are honestly such an amazing person to talk with, especially about Redacted, OCs, and just general topics! I love how you care about everyone in our group, and how you always know the right thing to say to people when they need it. You are one of the best people I’ve met, and I’m glad to have you as my friend :D

@yourunderratedbix I love hearing your stories and interests on call so much! You’re a really sweet and funny person to talk to, and even if we don’t speak too much personally, it still makes me happy whenever we do have those times! (Btw I also loved seeing your outfit plans for theme parks)

@lunamoff You’re a really cool person to talk to in general! Even though we unfortunately don’t share many interests outside Redacted and Yuurivoice, it’s still interesting to see you talk about other things you like (even if it takes me some time to process it lol)

@sethsbooblicker (nice username) You make my day every time we talk LOL I love your art, and your personally is just as amazing!! You make everyone feel happier whenever you start talking in the GC or in the server and I enjoy reading our chats together

@eulogylullaby Aaaa I love it whenever we talk!! ^^ Whether it’s about Redacted or Limbus, I always end up feeling really happy inside whenever we speak! You’re such a kind person, and I always feel like it’s really easy for me to open up to you and just be myself, even if our interests are completely different

People who I also have a special place in my heart for (but just don’t know how to express my thoughts without repeating too many details from above snelsnwlsnw):

@sunfl0wer-h0ur @bunrubyy @oceanlue @outofthebluemoon @peacefullibrarian @rose-the-witch1 @emmaoftoomanyfandoms @4letteraroace @phantom-face @blissful-clown

thank you again for making all of these memories with me, i love you all so much <33

#ALSO IF U WERENT TAGGED WE EITHER NEVER SPOKE OR I JUST DONT KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT YOU #i remember when i became mutuals with most of the people here hehe #also aaaaa sorry if i worded any of this weirdly i’m a bit tired rn </3 #calypso’s stardust dump #calypso💞everyone

[shygirl4991]

Last Chapter Next Chapter Summary: SMG4 learns its his boyfriend's birthday together with the crew they work together to throw a surprise party for the man. What could go wrong? Tag: First love, First kiss, fluff, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, SMG3 has to battle some inner demons Chapter 2 SMG3 Birthday Party Part 1 Shopping Trip

SMG3 opens his eyes to see himself in darkness, he groans as he walks around trying to figure where he was. He freezes seeing his old design standing in front of him “Hello…never thought we would meet again did you?”

SMG3 glares at his old self before trying to pass by him, he hears laughter behind him making him turn around “Don't even want to talk to your old friend? Come on, we both know why I'm back.” SMG3 being done with seeing his old self attempted to punch him only to be stopped “You really think that would work?”

SMG3 takes a step back still glaring at his old self “I won't hear what you have to say, I did it once and it almost destroyed me!” He remembers when he first was visited by this voice. He reminded him how SMG4 was better than him, that SMG4 was better off gone and him being the face of the channel would be the only way to win. He got so lost in the voice he took it upon himself to charge at youtube, get the remote and erase everyone that he now calls friends. He did have to admit to himself that if that didn't happen he wouldn't be where he is now, but that doesn't mean the voice being back is a good thing.

He chuckles “Oh really now? Do you think you can really date SMG4? The man who made so many years of your life hell?”

SMG3 covers his ears and starts walking away only for the darkness to change showing him flashbacks to his college years. SMG4 always had a way with people, he was always amazing at making memes. Seeing these memories didn't make him angry anymore, they made him feel proud for how far he came. SMG4 isn't the same asshole he once knew, he was sweet and funny. Thinking this to himself he walks through the memories with a smirk, the voice won't get to him, he won't let it.

“Ah so you think these memories are nothing now? Think SMG3, you almost killed this man…do you really think you two have real trust?” his past self laughs as he changes the room.

SMG3 looks around seeing memories of all the attempts he did, he closes his eyes “I WON'T LET YOU RUIN MY HAPPINESS!”

His past self laughs harder “You think you can date the man you attempted to kill and just fall in love with him and what happily ever after? Good luck with that.”

Before he could reply he heard an unexpected voice both him and his past self look up seeing light peek into the darkness “Gay boy wake up! SMG4 wont let Mario eat!!”

SMG3 wakes up covered in sweat, breathing heavily. He looks around the room confused as Mario jumps in victory, seeing that he was saved from the nightmare he was in he gets up affectionately patting Mario's head “Thanks….and if you tell anyone i did this i will make sure you and your spaghetti never see each other again!”

Mario stood there confused and horrified at SMG3 as the man walked out the room, he decided to shower so he wouldn't walk into the crew covered in sweat. Once done he walks to the kitchen seeing SMG4 letting out a huge sigh, it seems he was only able to keep Mario away from the food for so long. Hearing the door close SMG4 perks up smiling at SMG3 “Hey! I wanted to surprise you with breakfast but…” he points to Mario licking the plate of pancakes clean.

SMG4 had spent the day planning this, today is his boyfriend's birthday and what better way to show how good their relationship is by throwing a surprise party. Mario’s part of the plan was to wake the birthday boy up then act like he ate all the food, the perfect excuse to take SMG3 out of the castle for the others to get the place ready. SMG4 rolls his eyes then takes his partner's hand “Hey wanna go out? We need to restock thanks to Mario,” SMG3 nods as they both leave holding hands.

Mario couldn't help sneak a photo of the sight before he ran to get the others. Tari takes out the boxes filled with decorations “Me and saiko will do the cooking,” Meggy nods, picking one of the boxes “Then me and red will make sure this place is party ready!”

They split up getting ready to do their job, Meggy climbs up the ladder to start hanging the sign with ‘Happy Birthday SMG3’ written on it. She suddenly hears a squeak and looks down confused, all she sees is Mario filling up the balloons and trying to make odd shapes with them. She shrugs it off as she finishes hanging the banner, then it happens again looking down she makes eye contact with a rat “Hey what's up?”

“EEk! A rat!” she fires her splatgun, missing the rat and hitting Mario by accident. Panicked, she slides down the ladder to check on Mario “Ah sorry Mario are you okay?”

Mario wipes the paint off his face, but before he can answer. They both hear more squeaks making them turn to the sound seeing an army of rats charging at them. They hug each other screaming, catching the attention of the others, Bob seeing the army of rats charge in and start fighting them giving Meggy and Mario a chance to move out of the way. Seeing the battle Meggy takes out her splatgun “They got the surprise on us but I won't let them win this fight! Are you with me red?”

Mario nods, taking out his own splatgun and charging into the battle with Bob and Meggy, seeing the battle Tari panicked running into the room to try and save the gifts for SMG3 from the rats. Saiko was busy in the kitchen fighting with the rats trying to take the food.

Meanwhile SMG4 saw the store and slowly let go of his boyfriend's hand. It was one thing having a few friends knowing they were together and another having everyone at the local Walmart finding out before they were ready. As they walk in SMG3 takes out a list of things they need, naming them out when he notices they are close to the object, SMG4 spends the time humming and following his partner's order.

They both freeze though when they notice Swag and Chris buying chili dogs near them, they look at each other and nod hoping they could sneak away before getting caught. Swag would make a huge deal if he found out they were dating, after all he sold pictures of them when they had their hands stuck together. Though he is a good friend of theirs he might end up trying to give relationship advice to them given he is a married man, knowing Swag as long as he has SMG4 is still lost on how he and Sonic have been married for so long.

As they try to avoid the pair they end up failing to notice another person only to end up bumping into Shroomy, he turns and smiles waving at them “Heya fellas! How goes it?”

SMG3 and 4 awkwardly look at each other then do their best to smile “oh uh just some shopping for the castle, you know how Mario is!” SMG4 threw out hoping they could walk past, as they started walking they heard Shroomy behind them “Never seen you two so close before hmm.” In a panic SMG3 pushes down SMG4 “You're going to slow idiot! By the time this gets done your viewers will learn how unfunny you are.”

He then runs off with the shopping cart ignoring his boyfriend glare and Shroomy giggling and commenting how things never change.

Back at the castle the crew chase the rats into the basement coming face to face with the clown himself, now named the Rat king. They all did their best to fight the wave of rats. Seeing the crew slowly winning, Depresso called the rats to him, making a suit of rats. He blasted them all down laughing at them “I did everything to fit in…you all ignored me then you have the nerve to throw a birthday party! After forgetting mine!?” Mario rolls his eyes hearing the clown complain “Hey stinky! Nobody cares!”

He glares at Mario, ready to launch another attack this time focusing on the plumber. At that moment Bob remembers his flute taking it out and playing the song of rats,The rats freeze before removing themself from Depresso to start dancing. The crew stares in shock that it was working, Meggy runs opening the basement door “Bob! Get them out of here as far as you can!” He starts to walk out the basement leading the rats away along with Depresso who the rats were carrying with them. They celebrate their victory only to notice that the castle was still on fire from all the explosives they used on the rats, Tari panics looking for water “Oh no! SMG4 is going to be so upset!”

SMG4 sighs waiting outside the store waiting for SMG3 to pay for everything, why did they both panic seeing their friends in the store like this?

Who cares who knows about them, after all they both care about each other and that should be the only thing that matters. He groans at the memory of how everyone took photos of him and SMG3 when they were stuck holding hands, that could be the reason for their fear. Thinking about it, maybe it's just too new a step for them, they still don't know how to interact with each other. Thinking this makes SMG4 more determined to go on adventures with him in hopes it will bring the two closer. SMG3 walks out holding all the bags, he couldn't help smiling at the sight as he walks up to the man and takes half of the bags. They both smile softly at each other as they walk back to the castle teasing each other and just enjoying the company.

Until they arrive home to a burning castle and half of their friends screaming outside throwing water to stop the flames. SMG4 falls to his knees watching his home burn, SMG3 whistle and opens a portal where the Eggpups come in with water and help turn off the fire.

“WHAT HAPPENED!?” he shouts at the crew as they all look at each other, Meggy steps forward “Sorry SMG4, Depresso got upset that we have ignored him and didn't even throw him a birthday party he wanted payback.”

Mario nods walking up next to her “He threw rats everywhere…they…they even ate Mario’s spaghetti.”

SMG4 walks up to his damaged castle and frowns, seeing this SMG3 gently place his hand on his partner's shoulder “Hey we can get this fix in no tim-” before he can finish SMG4 turns and hugs him. He stood there staring at the random affection confused “uh dude?” SMG4 pulls away, not fully letting the man go but holding him close enough for them to feel each other's warmth. “It was supposed to be a surprise but, Happy birthday SMG3 Sorry rats burn down the party.” Hearing those words made everything click, he forgot his own birthday. He never had people close to him that cared to throw him a birthday party, except for Gary who would send a surprise gift even then it was easy for the day to slip his mind.

SMG3 wraps his arms around SMG4 without thinking and hugs him affectionately for the first time, he wasn't one to show affection so the sight took everyone by surprise. Bob couldn't help himself and points at them “Lol that's pretty gay,” blushing SMG3 lets go of 4 acting like he didn't do anything. SMG4 giggles watching his boyfriend try to hide his red face “Yeah Bob it is, well shall we make a plan b for this party?”

#first love #smg34 #smg43 #smg34 fanfiction #shygirl4991 fanfiction #First kiss #fluff #angst #emotional hurt/comfort #SMG3 has to battle some inner demons #enemies to friends to lovers

[dorypaxx]

[Optimus Prime x Reader] Love you to the Cybertron and back

Warning: Prohibited substances, addictive substances, readers are old enough to be aware of their behavior

+++++++

Hi, this is my second time writing fanfic about Optimus. Big daddy makes me feel like there are never enough stories about him. Hope you enjoy this story

+++++++

What is defiance?

In my opinion, that's when you know both of you can't be together but still want to try to get to the other person. Whether it's a 0.000001% chance, or when you know for sure that your future will be nothing but pain and separation, but you still run towards that person like a cow, just to have can see their smiles.

It is often said that one-sided love is the feeling of pissing yourself in the foot. Outsiders see you as stupid, but you feel so warm. And I must have been a real idiot when I fell into an unrequited love affair with a giant alien robot.

But I mean who can NOT love that perfect bot ? Look into those blue eyes that sparkle more than any gem in the world, as deep as the ocean and brighter than the sky on a sunny day; listen to the quiet but serious sound, sometimes too gentle when interested in you; and his thoughtful look when thinking and worrying about everyone. God, it's HARD not to fall in love with such a perfect Optimus Prime !

I secretly thought so while doing my homework on my laptop. The words in the content of the exercise gradually deviate to "I love Optimus so much, why are you so handsome when you walk or sleep or sit, oh my lord, a gift from the Creator, perfect gentleman, destroyer of women hearts...". Suddenly Miko appeared behind me, the mischievous little girl curiously looked at her laptop and asked:

- Hey, what are you doing ?

Startled, I quickly folded the machine in but it was too late. Miko gave me a sly smile that made my face heat up, it felt like I was just caught watching gay porn tagged a man with a pink nipple in a public place, no more human rights. She nudged me on the shoulder with a know-it-all smile and then ran off to tell Bulkhead and Wheeljack..

Now the whole base, even Agent Fowler, knows I have a crush on Optimus. Fowler's eyes were looking at me like he saw me dressed up as a bush, holding an AK and saying "I'm going to fuck your mother"...

But the gods had mercy on me, so the only person who didn't know I had a crush on Optimus was that lovely Prime.

+++++++++++++++++

My guardian is Optimus.

The reason? Ratchet is too busy with data, supercomputers or whatever and always says "I needed that!", Bumblebee, Arcee and Bulkhead all already have someone else. I'm twenty years old, older than all of them, and don't go to the same school as the kids. Although Optimus is too busy to be a nanny, he still tries to make time to pick me up every day. He even thoughtfully cares for me when I'm in a bad mood by rubbing my head with his giant fingers - something no one has ever done to me. Normally, people around me tend to ignore my negative emotions but He is different, He is willing to listen to me when I am sad, praise me when I achieve something and obviously I it was not wrong to fall in love with him at first sight.

I won't confess that I struggled by rolling around on the ground just to have Optimus as my personal guardian instead of any other bot. Surprisingly, instead of trampling me, he actually agreed.

Excellent !!

Gradually, we shared a lot of things with each other. I am an extrovert, active and creative, and always have no shortage of stories to share. Optimus Prime, Autobot leader, part time introvert, loves to listen to my story and then, can talk to me about Cybertron's history, its golden age and I'll share it with him about my home country, which suffered from invasion and division by hostile forces but united to fight for independence, freedom and happiness for our people despite suffering many losses and pain. At those times, Optimus often listens with a contemplative face, and he praises people of my country, at that time I saw a little sadness in his eyes, mixed with longing. Perhaps, He also longs for peace will return to the land of Cybertron.

I know that Optimus is responsible for the fate of his entire planet, so I don't want him to be bothered by my little love. Just being with him, I'm satisfied, I don't want to ask for anything more and always tell my heart to remember that. I just need to see Optimus every day, hear him speak, touch him, be cared for by him and I will be happy and happy. But sometimes, I will also be selfish and greedy. I could pretend to be weak and stupid just to be with him a little longer, to feel the soft, cold touches of metal as he pats my head, inhaling his scent. If the sun, the sky and the stars smelled, it would be Optimus

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Our lives are not always peaceful. Decepticons, MECH, battles that almost took my love away from myself so many times. Remembering that time when I saw the blue color in His eyes gradually fade away, I felt like I had died according to that light.

My heart constricted violently, I felt suffocated, my eyes blurred, engulfed in an endless despair. If my human heart could be used to save Him, I would pull it out myself just to see that clear blue light one more time. I realized that I loved Optimus so much that I didn't even know it, and I prayed to the gods to take me away in His stead, if He could rise again, I wouldn't hesitate to show my love off. Show my love to Him regardless of the outcome.

Maybe it was luck, maybe it was because the gods heard my prayer, the team found a way to revive Optimus. The moment I saw His Spark light up, I burst with happiness. It was only when Optimus raised his giant arm to lightly touch my face that I realized it was already wet with tears. Tears of uncontrollable happiness rolled down her cheeks, falling one after another. I hugged those giant fingers tightly, laughing in a choked sob :

- Welcome back, Optimus.

He replied to me with a warm smile:

- I'm back.

No need for fancy or fancy words. I love Him through such simple words.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

After Optimus returned from the dead, he seemed… more strange? I'm not sure if my hunch is correct as he and I have been glaring at each other for more than thirty minutes. Strangely speaking, because normally only I look at Optimus, slim waist, long legs, big butt, handsome, who doesn't like it? But it's very strange for Optimus to look back at me, it's like being reciprocated by a crush, most of which is due to high drugs that give rise to hallucinations.

While I was wondering if the 8 funky balls that I had hidden from Optimus to use on New Year's Eve had any effect on my nerves, he approached me. The speaker, while I pricked my ears to hear what else these 8 funkey balls could make me hallucinate.

- The moon is beautiful today, isn't it?

If it's so illusory, it's definitely a drug...

As a natural reaction, everyone raised their heads to look. Oh, it's the base roof of metal bars and rocks. Then everyone turned their gazes to me. I gulped, chuckling.

- Yes, it's beautiful.

Ratchet looks at me like crazy while Jack and Miko come over and touch my forehead. Jack frowned :

- Strange, no fever at all.

Miko continued:

- Tell me the truth, who sold you drugs?

My forehead had blue veins, picked up these two demons' ears, and whispered in a loud enough volume for them to hear:

-If you two are still babbling, I'll tell Arcee and Bulkhead about how you two tried to buy marijuana and use it. And believe me, Ratchet will let you both listen to lectures 24/7.

Miko pursed her lips, while Jack nodded vigorously. The secret we secretly played with banned substances was something that we swore to live with, carry with us when we died, even if Megatron put a gun to the head, we couldn't tell it out. Suddenly, Miko seemed to think of something, she leaned into my ear and said :

- What Optimus said seems to be quite common in my country. It is a kind of confession where one person says "The moon is beautiful tonight", then if the other responds "The wind is also very gentle", it means yes.

-So Optimus is secretly confessing to her?

- Exactly, Jackie!

The two of them didn't make an appointment, but they both smiled at me. I blushed, my mind still echoing Miko's words. But what if this is just a coincidence? Or just a fleeting illusion of a hopeless unrequited love?

A voice in my head : What if it is true ? What if Optimus loves you the same way you love Him? You deserve this hope of love. Go ahead girl, conquer that perfect bot !

Sink Or Swim . It's not the first time I've been rejected anyway...

- Optimus !! - I shouted - The wind is very gentle today too!!

Fuckfuckfuck I'm going to die !!!!!

Now it's not just Ratchet, but Arcee, Bumblebee, Raf and Bulkhead all looking at me like I'm crazy. Miko and Jack covered their mouths with laughter. I was like a balloon that had been deflated, and my whole body was limp. Embarrassment, shyness, ... mixed emotions in me, but my eyes were still fixed on that red and blue bot.

And He smiled

Striking giant strides toward me, Optimus knelt down, holding out his hand. I jumped up, clinging to His big fingers while Optimus led us both out of the center of the base, to a deserted place just the two of us. Whisperer:

- Can you say it again?

- Say what again? - I laughed and asked in return - Saying the wind is also very gentle, or do I also love you very much?

For a moment, I heard the rumble of an engine. Optimus's metallic skin, which was once cold, was now unusually hot. I looked him straight in the eye, and my heart fluttered with strange joys  :

- I've loved you since we first met and always will. So, venerable Optimus, can you assume that you feel the same way about me ? Do you feel like me?

- I have always loved you, but I am afraid, afraid that my enemies will try to harm you when they know this. But after coming back from the dead, seeing you cry, I understand that I can't lie to myself anymore. I swear on the honor of Primus and my Spark, I love you.

I tiptoed slightly, placing a kiss on Optimus' lips. Needless to say, I'm already satisfied. I know that our love will have to go through many obstacles, but what do we do when we have already fallen in love with each other...

Let's put the worries away for now, and enjoy this sweet moment a little more...

Love you to the Cybertron and back

#optimus prime #optimus prime x reader #tfp #wheeljack #ratchet #bumblebee #transformers prime arcee #bulkhead #tfp miko #tfp jack #tfp raf #agent fowler #romantic #defiance

[seoul-bros]

Back to the eighties with Like Crazy

I woke up early last Friday to watch the Like Crazy premier and promptly disappeared down the rabbit hole. I only emerged again today. I have debated about writing this post. I'm still not sure people will understand or even want to hear the associations I have made with this song. All of it makes me respect even more the beautiful, talented, endlessly brave and honest Park Jimin.

I really had no idea about the emotions that I was going to experience with this song. I am listening non-stop to all five versions of the song today (interspersed with other Jimin and BTS songs as required for streaming) and I still can’t quite work out why this song hits so hard.

Is it the synth pop style? Or the mullet and sparkly denim? Is it the bathroom wall stickers of British rock legends Queen and The Kinks or perhaps the Mapplethorpe pictures on his shiny leather trousers.

Intentionally or not this song and this music video, successfully evoked vivid memories of life in the late 80s and early 90s in the UK. It was a time of serious political and social conflict. The threat of nuclear war was ever present and our government was busy trying, and in many cases succeeding, to drive wedges between different groups of people: rich and poor, young and old, black and white, gay and straight. Student protest was alive and well and fighting on many fronts. Here are some of the badges I had pinned to my big coat at the time as I marched through the streets of London to Westminster.

But there are some important ones missing from that collection.

The AIDs crisis of the early eighties created a climate of fear and hate towards the LGBT community and homosexual men, in particular, which led to the passing of Section 28 in 1988. Section 28 stated that local authorities "shall not intentionally promote homosexuality or publish material with the intention of promoting homosexuality" or "promote the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship".

This had an immediate negative effect on groups that were trying to fight for LGBT rights and develop better public understanding of AIDS. What I remember most though, was the bravery of those that stood up to this government promoted intolerance risking public ridicule and hate in their campaign to change the law. This was sometimes people in the public eye like Ian McKellen.

But more commonly it was just ordinary people trying to live their lives in the most honest way possible and facing an extremely hostile social climate head on. The devastating series It's a Sin did much to capture the feel of 1980s Britain and reflect the lives of young people at the time.

The vibrancy of the nightclub scene and the glittering fragility of beautiful young men and women determined to live life on their own terms seems to me to also be reflected in Jimin's video.

“I tried to express the feelings of that movie (Like Crazy),” Jimin told Rolling Stone in a recent interview. “You know, the somewhat complex, somewhat lonely, somewhat happy emotions. I tried to express all these ambiguous and subtle emotions in a slightly sexy way, but I’m not sure how it’ll end up being received by people.”

Anyone who has been clubbing can probably recognise those heightened emotions, the feeling of getting lost in the music and the moment. It is unforgettable, visceral and totally life affirming.

But it can also be fleeting and when it is passed sometimes what is left is the feeling of acute loneliness. Lost in the crowd. Alone again.

Jimin seems to know all about these feelings and has chosen to express them in Like Crazy. In referencing Mapplethorpe we can also assume that he knows something about LGBT history and has chosen to pay homage to it and to the people that fought and continue to fight for LGBT rights. He is showing us what is important to him and he is being as open as he can about who he is and what he believes. Jimin is giving us all a lesson in self realisation.

Post Date: 28/03/2023

#park jimin #jimin #FACE #like crazy