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jazjelspen · 2 months

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when memories snow

alastor x overlord reader

(notes: songfic, angst, reader has similar powers to alastor, al and vox used to be friends in this fic)

-oneshot-

song used: when memories snow - mitski

You looked out your window to see the Hazbin Hotel in ruins, 666 News playing in the background as you stared off. You recently left the V's building after watching the wreck that was Alastor and Adam's battle through Vox's TV, sure it felt good seeing Alastor get what he deserved after what he did to the both of you but still.. lingering feelings of yours stayed present.

You knew he wasn't dead. You could feel it, his soul's presence still reeked as always it always has in hell.. but it was faint. His soul was far and you could feel it recovering,

That was all you could feel though, your powers limited to there.

You never really enjoyed partnering up with Vox, let alone the other Vs in general. Despite him being an ass to work with you enjoyed when you and Vox would complain to each other about how Alastor threw you both aside.

For Vox he was a friend, business partner, but to you-- he was your lover.

Despite how much you liked complaining to him you didn't exactly pay him much attention since he clearly just wanted to reel you in to work against Alastor, in a heat of anger and at the brink of tears you agreed, now you wondered if it was even worth it.

You loved him, you loved Alastor so much. You made so many good memories with him to the point that you couldn't even look at your home the same now that he's been there, nor could you look at the streets, the towns, the corners of hell you've both been in together. Too painful.

The way he left you behind was sad, truly. He was courting you for at least a decade or two and oh was he such a gentleman to you.. a real sweetheart. He'd hold out his hand for you to take when going down steps of stairs, offer you his arm to hold when walking, take you to outings full of wonder and awe despite the setting you both were in, he even gave you private gifts for when he noticed you were stressed out over your work or simply distraught over anything. Yes this seemed like basic relationship actions but to you it meant so much more.

Sure, he was never openly affectionate. He was okay with touch from you and all and even said a few little cheesy remarks towards you that at times that would make your face flush from how pure his words are despite the owner of the tongue that they are coming out of.

You both bonded over how similar your powers were, bonded over dance, music, singing and to you he saw you as a very interesting and peculiar individual with how different your own adventures were, adventures where he just had to come and see what you were to do to end the situation with and how.. even your his and your shadows played around and goofed off themselves.

To him, you were entertaining.

But in private? He was a dream, at times telling you sweet things that made you light-headed in the best way possible and on the very, very rare occasions did he ever land a kiss on you behind closed doors.

You were the only one to see him this way, so in the end it made you feel as if his love for you was true.

Right?

You loved him, you hated him.

You want to rip him apart in a mess of blood and guts but you also want to be near him again.

Conflicting feelings were raging a war in you, your love and your hunger for revenge killing each other slowly to see who would be the fateful victor in this.

Seven years ago on the day of one of your anniversaries he left you with no warning at all, leaving you worried sick and almost grieving. You attempted to use your powers to try to feel his soul somewhere, anywhere.. but it was as if it fizzled out- leaving traces of where he used to be.

You never moved on and seeing him suddenly come back after those painful years passed made you so happy.. feeling his soul walking around was like a breath of the freshest air of Eden, until all he did was only acknowledge everyone but you.. he fucking acknowledged Vox but ignored you and disappeared each time you came around and no matter how hard you tried it pained you immensely how slicker he got to avoid talking to you.

The killing sprees you both went on together? The dates? The care, the protecting.. you sacrificed one of your fellow overlords for him for his radio broadcast when he first came about because you felt like he was an interesting individual with potential. Was it all just-- for naught?

He seemed in love in his own special way.. so why.. why did he leave you with no words and now proceed to pretend as if you're nothing but a limp corpse.

You hated it you couldn't take it.

So you sought refuge in Vox, becoming 'friends' through your fresh hate of Alastor.

Once the news finished its broadcast you couldn't help but still feel a sense of anger rising in you, revenge bubbling in your blood through your skin as if begging you to take your own pound of flesh.

"When memories snow, and cover up the driveway."

Your voice began to sing, singing wasn't something you did since that fateful day your heart was ripped inside out. But.. it was only fitting you finally did now.

"I shovel all those memories, clear the path to drive to the store."

Your feet turned away from the window to walk towards your desk, you looked around briefly to notice how unkept it was.. never fully cleaning your own study due to your emotional rollercoasters.

"And when memories melt," your eyes narrowed down in emotional pain, remembering one of your most exciting escapades with him before he left. "I hear them in the drainpipe."

You leaned against your desk as you hurriedly opened one of your drawers to then pull out a hidden black and white photo of Alastor and you celebrating one of your anniversaries.

You were so happy that day.

Tears began brimming in your eyes as your hand started trembling and wrinkling the photo with how hard you were holding it.

Do you think he'd visit you?...

Your throat cracking slightly yet your singing never dared to falter.

"Dripping through the downspout.. as I lie awake in the dark."

No, no. If he truly wanted to see you again he would've done it six months ago, but he seemed to be more interested and entertained by the Princess of Hell and her dingy hotel.

As the sound around you amplified so did your heart beat, your anger, the exploding rage. Your shadow began to move on its own as an evil smile presented itself on the floorboards. It laughed, it laughed at you yet whispered encouraging words.. encouraging you to get him to regret leaving you behind. The same shadow that laughed at you when you first realized that you were truly in love with him.

The shadow grew more and expanded itself to your wall and over the window, looking down at the window where the ruins of the hotel was visible to you. It laughed and whispered, mumbled and encouraged you.

As your sorrow weighed on you and made you physically lean against your desk with your hand over your heart, the emotional ache washing over you like a tsunami's ocean wave. It felt as if that dreadful day was repeating,

"And if I break,"

You turned around to face the window again, your body leaning on your desk with a pained look on your features. You wanted to stop hurting--

"Could I go on break?"

It will, it'll stop hurting. Your shadow told you so, and it whispered so many secrets and ideas to you you couldn't help but feel confident in what you wanted to do next.

You won't stay down, you'll pick yourself up.

You stood up straight and off from the desk, a newfound optimism seating itself next to your heartbreak. It even reached to your vocal cords with it now making your singing sound more stern and steady.

"Be back in my room, writing speeches in my head."

You took a few steps towards the window, your shadow only growing bigger and widening itself across your room.. basking it all in darkness. It devilishly cheered for you, for your up in coming revenge.

You began to grin, feeling your power enhance with this fire in your heart raging and dancing like a tango.

You raised your arms up as if welcoming in this new revelation, happily bringing in this new purpose.

"Listening to the thousand hands,"

"That clap for me in the dark."

Your grinning face stayed plastered with your emotions as you sang your last words, your song finishing soon after.

In the end, rage won over your soul, overlooking the love you have had for him.

You will get your revenge against Alastor.

Whether he truly felt the same way for you or not, you weren't going to ask yourself that anymore. Avenging yourself was all that mattered.

You picked up your phone, tapping it a few times before it started ringing.. your intended target to help you in your plans answered.

"Vox, do you still have some free time on your hands? We need to have a discussion about the Radio Demon."

You weren't regretting this, you won't regret it.

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whumpthemusical · 5 months

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Whump: The Musical Prompts!!

As stated before, this challenge will run from March 1- March 31, 2024. All fandoms are welcome to participate despite it being prompts based off of musicals. Once again, all types of media are allowed. This challenge has the standard "choose one for the day" style, but feel free to do all three prompts if that's what you want to do!! All types of whump are allowed, but please be respectful to your fellow audience members and properly tag it!! Some of these prompts are sensitive, so make sure you warn your readers correctly! There will be an ao3 collection and an FAQ post coming soon, so if you have any further questions or comments about this challenge, feel free to drop me a line. Happy writing, my beautiful ingénues, and enjoy the show :)))

The prompts will be listed under the cut for those who have difficulty reading fonts!!

Cats- Sabotage • Second Chances • "I Can Dream Of The Old Days."

Wicked- Mob Mentality • Propaganda • "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished."

Jesus Christ Superstar- Whipping • Betrayal • "Then I Was Inspired, Now I'm Sad And Tired."

Les Mis- Survivor's Guilt • Failure • "Drink With Me To Days Gone By."

Heathers- Poison • Reluctant Whumper • "Wanna fight for me?"

Newsies- Chronic Pain • Exploitation • "Let 'Em Laugh In My Face, I Don't Care."

The Last Five Years- Infidelity • Gaslighting • "I Will Not Lose Because You Can't WIn."

Hadestown- Deals • Doomed Narrative • "Doubt Comes In."

Sweeney Todd- False Imprisonment • Razors • "Have You Decided It's Safer In Cages?"

Rent- Substance Abuse • Poverty • "Feels Too Much Damn Like Home."

Bare: A Pop Opera- Outing • Religious Trauma • "Please, See Me."

Waitress- Unplanned Pregnancy • Abuse • "She Is Broken And Won't Ask For Help."

Tick Tick Boom- Atychiphobia • Working To Exhaustion • "Is This Real Life?"

Dear Evan Hansen- Deception • Broken Bone • "Words Fail."

West Side Story- Star-Crossed Lovers • Prejudices • "A Boy Who Kills Cannot Love."

Come From Away- Stranded • Aftermath • "Blankets And Bedding And Maybe Some Food."

Spring Awakening- Withheld Information • Suicide • "I Don't Scream, Though I Know It's Wrong."

Hamilton- Hurricane • Dueling • "I Will Kill Your Friends And Family To Remind You Of My Love."

Falsettos- Sickness • Identity Issues • "Death Is Not A Friend."

Into The Woods- Blame • Lost • "Nothing But A Vast Midnight."

The Great Comet- Abduction • Letters • "Did You Love That Bad Man?"

In The Heights- Grief • Homesickness • "I Know That I'm Letting You Down."

Be More Chill- Mind Manipulation • Panic Attack • "Everything About Me Makes Me Want To Die."

Moulin Rouge- Class Differences • Sex Work • "Come What May."

Chicago- Cold Blood • Trial • "He Had It Coming."

Six- Execution • Trauma Bonding • "Playtime's Over."

Ride The Cyclone- Unexpected Tragedy • Forgotten Whumpee • "I Hear The Anguish Of The Street."

The Rocky Horror Show- Obsession • Wrong Place, Wrong Time • "I've Seen Blue Skies Through The Tears."

Nerdy Prudes Must Die- Bullying • Ritual • "Who Will Pray For You?"

Jekyll And Hyde- Duality • Good Vs Evil • "If I Die, You'll Die."

Phantom Of The Opera- Disfiguration • Shunned • "My Power Over You Grows Stronger Yet."

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gayelderstourney · 9 months

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OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 1

Propaganda:

Bob Zanotto/Helmut Fullbear:

THEY LITERALLY MADE MR CRY THE FIRST TIME I PLAYED THE GAME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND THEY FINALLY GET TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME.

they are married in canon and are epic and amazing. they had sad canon events where bob thought helmut was dead for like 30 years or something but helmut WASN'T dead his brain was still alive and they are reunited in the game first by way of stealing an evil dictator's body and then later on they put helmut's brain in a ball as a temporary fix while they go out to find his body which has been frozen in ice. the game forces you to walk through bob's memory of saying his vows at their wedding ceremony and it's seriously some of the most romantic and heartwarming shit i've ever heard, especially "just when i thought i was turning to seed, you made me bloom again" like my god. i love them

they're gay and old as hell!!!! there's a level dedicated to their wedding!!!

Helmut is voiced by Jack Black and is currently a brain in a ball, and Bob knows him so well that the mental image of him in his drunken mind says things Bob KNOWS the real Helmut would never say. Also Helmut is temporarily in the body of a guy voiced by Elijah Wood-

Craig Cuttlefish/DJ Octavio:

well you see they used to be friends but were on opposite sides of the great turf war. cuttlefish gets a 14 year old to go stop octavios army. also they argue in splatoon 3 which is just part of the 100+ year divorce arc BUT AT THE FINAL BOSS IN THE JAPANESE VERSION THEY SHARE THE ICONIC LINE THAT CUES THE CALAMARI INKANTATION AND IN THE ENGLISH CUTTLEFISH TELLS OCTAVIO TO "HIT IT" AND START THE MUSIC AND MUSIC IS SO IMPORTANT TO THE SPLATOON UNIVERSE YAAAAA ik its grasping but its lovers to enemies

Literally I have seen so many people call this old man yaoi.

Old men divorce!!!

They're old men who made their divorce the problem of every young person in their lives <3. 100 years ago during the Great Turf War between inklings and octarians, Craig and Octavio were the chosen ambassadors of their respective species. They got along well, but unfortunately found themselves on opposite sides of the war. During one of the battles Craig shot Octavio in the heart. The inlkings won the war and the octarians were forced underground. For years afterward both men grew bitter towards each other, and eventually Octavio attacked the new Squidbeak Splatoon (a group of secret agents recruited by Craig). Octavio lost both times and got imprisoned in a giant snow globe (and Craig calls him cute). In the latest game Octavio got over his hatred for Inklings (Craig's species) and used his flying mech to help defeat the BBEG of the game. After the final fight, Craig said something to the effect of 'that old rascal turned out to be not so bad!'.

Alright ok hear me out! These two old men have fought in wars for their races against each other and have the craziest pathetic old man homoerotic tension ever. They like, went from at least respecting each other before the war and then they were forced to fight each other and then when Cuttlefish's side won, Octavio went underground like a pathetic lil wet cat and later on he kidnapped Cuttlefish because of game related reasons and both of them still have way too much homoerotic tension!!! And then Octavio gets owned and then in the second game Octavio decides that "Hey actually, lets kidnap Cuttlefish's granddaughter" and the old man isnt even there cause hes busy being a pathetic old man in the under-underground!!! And in the third game they go fron rival/enemies to reluctantly working together to save the world from actual extinction bc some durry bitch wants to cover it in fuzzy ooze and like, both of them have so much old man ship potential and just- theyre still pining for each other even after over a 100 years man,,,,

I personally headcanon Cap'n Cuttlefish as homophobic, but I see the ship a lot and think it's funny.

They’re both at least like 125 probably a bit older, they are so divorced, like peak lovers to enemies back to lovers, Cap’n Cuttlefish calls Octavio cute in Splatoon one immediately after you rescue him from Octavio kidnapping him? So dysfunctional, so gay, so old

They fought in the Great Turf War which was said to be over 100 years ago, Capn Cuttlefish was, well, a captain I believe (he had some sort of rank even if he wasn't a captain, like he led a battle that's singled out in the sunken scrolls of the first game). they act so divorced in the singleplayer mode like they cannot stop insulting each other specifically but octavio always comes back and like kidnaps or insults captain cuttlefish it's so. and when the great zapfish gets stolen in splatoon 3 captain cuttlefish is like "it's the octarians again i know it" like divorced behavior. also it wasn't this time and octavio gets super weird about it. maybe you should stop using children as props in your drama though.

my favorite war crime divorcees <3

They basically are friends to enemies to lovers. Both of them fought in a war that hurt DJ Octavio so bad he can’t become an inkling.

friends -> enemies -> lovers. what more is there to say

they are soooo divorced

they were so gay their breakup ended a war

Craig Cuttlefish got sucked dry by a bear

they got divorced but then they got remarried . they fuckinf hate eachother but they also make out sloppy style and i do not know how that works because neither of them have mouths in their swim form which they are both permanently stuck in. love wins but also loses at the same time with these fucking losers

they are sooo divorced omg. istg they were dating when they were younger and then war n shit happened and now theyre bitter exes who probably still make out sometimes. Makes it so much funnier that theyre old ass men (both over 100!) and Cuttlefish has grandkids

They were on opposite sides of a war and still fell in love

#im so sorry psychonauts fans but cuttletavio had the most submissions. so.#polls #round 1 #gay elders tourney #tournament poll #psychonauts #helmut fullbear #bob zanotto #splatoon #craig cuttlefish #dj octavio #cuttletavio

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wisteriagoesvroom · 15 days

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happy "breaching the top 10 f1 rpf pairings on ao3" day to landoscar nation 🎂 because it's all about.... two people that are so much the same yet so different. australia vs the uk. oscar's cool collected calm versus lando's ricocheting personality. twitch streams and side hustles and multiple endeavors vs singlemindedness of racing. purity of craft vs embracing everything life throws at you and trusting that it'll all work out. the rivalry that isn't (well it is, but not really). pushing each other to be better. making heart eyes in a taylor swift video, reaching out to your teammate in silverstone after surviving a media maelstrom and him being pleased and stepping closer because he's been given permission to. making fun of your resident weeb for reading the words "kit kat" but just in a japanese accent.

it's being so ridiculously competitive that you'll hide in a burning bin in the name of fun for a game with made up points and then squinting at your teammate ringed with the bright light of the sun and laughing at how stupid this all is. it's making fun of your teammate's music taste that you can hear through the thin walls of the drivers' rooms. trusting the journey. mimicking each other's body language. knowing it's for the marketing but winking at the camera together anyway, like we're all invited to be in on the joke. two parallel lives woven in two different garages with almost identical specs. being so comfortable you have this weird rapport that is kind of a cipher and unknowable to anyone outside of the immediate network or team, but it's so assured and quiet that for the first time the person who's been the person who was once the younger teammate steps up, acts older now, and becomes comfortable with the silence.

it's knowing your best friend was on their renault team and not saying anything about it in public but the motorsport world is so small and specific and the experience so surreal that surely some laylines are just strangely predestined. it's about growing up together. it's watching the brit upstart in a generation of two other brit upstarts chase his dream and give up everything to win and get velcroed to the seat because he's kind of small, just like you, but you dream bigger than anyone dares to dream and you identify with the other's self belief that says you, too, could stand on that top step one day. it's you following the little blue-suited guy racer on social media and liking sooo many of his posts over the years, and not even bothering to hide that fact when you've probably become that goalpost for someone else one day, too.

it's chapter 2, with 3 more to go. it's watching your teammate win his first sprint race and finding it in yourself to be happy for him even when you're sad that it wasn't you. it's publicly saying that the rookie is not a threat, he's a threat who makes you race better. it's making fun of newbie's first day at mclaren and finding him unknowable. and he arrives with all this hype and pressure so what can you do but focus on you and step up your game, but he's always in the background and the periphery, chasing and chasing with this hunger that is unbelievable and unfamiliar because it's always humming in a way that made you mistake stillness for idleness in the past. but now, you know: still waters run deep, so you swim harder, too. drop the dj-ing. become more disciplined. train more. do things that don't matter, less.

because the future is vast. the future is happening constantly if you're ready to meet it. and maybe destiny will be kind, and your names will be remembered. your name, inked on a trophy in the precious metal of kings, and dreamers. your name, inked in gold.

but today, you're 22. you're 24.

you're driving a car as fast as you can, and everything that's possible, feels like it could be possible, right now.

#landoscar #oscar piastri #lando norris #f1 rpf #814 #the landoscar thesis #mctwinks #twinklaren #i started putting this as a tag on mechchrome's post announcing the top 10 pairings development on ao3 #and then i was like lol wait i have can't shut the f up ism #so i might as well make this a post #<- in fact the last two points might as well explain my entire existence on f1blr atp #overthink it? yes i will! thanks!#pls release me from the orange mind-tessaract

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zexapher · 1 month

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A Fond Farewell

With Rooster Teeth beginning its draw down, an era has truly passed. The company has lasted more than two decades. 18 (soon 19) seasons, five mini-series, and cameos and references in Halo itself for Red vs Blue. 9 volumes alongside two movies, a chibi series, Ice Queendom, and its own games for RWBY. And so much more beyond that, RT Shorts, podcasts, Achievement Hunter, The Slow Mo Guys, and on and on. That’s a lot, especially for a little startup launching off a web series. I was listening to “This Isn’t Goodbye, It’s See You Later” by Richie Branson while I was making this little memorial post. It’s a song made for another Rooster Teeth show, Camp Camp, and I have to say it’s some very appropriate music for this moment.

The day the news dropped, I wrote up a little comment in response to Rooster Teeth beginning its closing down, and I thought I’d share some of it here. I grew up with Rooster Teeth, a bit of a cheesy line I know, but it’s true for a lot of us. I was just a little kid way back in the early 2000’s, a kid that liked Halo (a game I didn’t even own for a long time, but played at a friend’s house), and was just getting curious about what I could find about it on YouTube. And that brought me into the world of music videos and skits and montages made for that little game I liked.

From there, I discovered a small web series called Red vs. Blue. I’d sneak onto my folk’s computer to watch it since they didn’t appreciate the language, and in doing so I dipped my toes into the wide world of the internet for the first time. As I got older, I eventually hopped onto Reddit for its discussion threads of Rooster Teeth’s latest show, RWBY. I began my first in-depth fandom interactions, speculating about the show, enjoying the flood of fanart, even got into fanfics about RWBY (those fics have had their own amazing evolution alongside the show) and to this day it’s the fandom I’ve followed and bookmarked the most fics from. All the while I was making friends and bonding with people through the community this company and its shows have created.

Watching the shows and people grow over time was, looking back on it, just like watching myself grow. I was never really a social media/internet kind of guy, until it came to Rooster Teeth. The shows, shorts, podcasts, it all opened up a whole new world for me. It’s sad to see it coming to a close, and I hope it gets picked up in the future. But I’m happy, too, that it’s left so much behind, and had such an impact on me. It’s left me with so many good memories. Rooster Teeth, its shows, those that created and worked on it, and above all the community around it will always have a special place in my heart.

So, I bid a fond farewell to Rooster Teeth and its crew, and anyone who may drift away from the fandom in time. I wish you all the best.

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9w1ft · 6 months

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Interested to hear your interpretation on Suburban Legends

first off the song and beat sounds so similar to mastermind and gold rush. particularly mastermind. listen to the opening seconds back to back! she sings through a lot of it similarly in my opinion

and it has some of the similar mechanics of mastermind in that it leads you to believe the song is going one way but then pulls a switcheroo on you at the end and the swell in the music aids that at the end which makes it a really sweet and emotional listening experience. i’ll get to that in a second.

i think at the beginning of taylor knowing or being aware of karlie (so like, your kitchen or mine times), this was very much the situation. karlie is in her peripheral vision (on her radar) but just as taylor described in gold rush, karlie seemed like something utterly unattainable. in lover as well we get the line “i’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you” and i think this fits with this description of karlie.

i didn’t come here to make friends echoes their entire conceit of mastermind, and a lot of the kaylor discography that uses the word ‘friend’ — another way to say “i don’t want you like a best friend” etc

also this is a sort of throwaway point but “i didn’t come here to make friends” was a 2000’s reality tv phrase that came into popularity via the show America’s Next Top Model. it was iconic and soon every competitive reality tv show under the sun had contestants saying it.. but it’s origins are from a show about models! of which karlie is one.

more importantly, the “you kiss me in a way that’s gonna screw me up forever” is like the follow up to the gold rush “eyes like sinking ships on waters so inviting i almost jump in” language. it’s cruel summer’s “snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate” because falling in love with karlie lead to taylor wanting her complications too

mismatched star signs works because fire signs traditionally match best with air signs. also visually, stars mismatched fits in with mastermind’s “the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned” — things that weren’t in alignment coming into alignment.

there’s a bunch of story page chapter stuff throughout taylor’s discography, some of which makes its way into kaylor but i’d probably write for way too long so i’m just gonna skip over that for now

this part might be a bit tricky but i sort of blame it on many kaylors not talking that much about really early kaylor possibilities out of (a sort of unearned) respect and the one way street principle of staying in our lane but the idea of taylor saying “i know that when you told me we’d get back together and kissed me that you remember[ed] we were born to be national treasures” isn’t that too wild of a statement if you imagine them as maybe briefly connecting or talking at some point before taylor made her plans to make karlie hers. indeed, we know their paths crossed several times before they were first connected at the 2013 vs fashion show.

*for posterity, i included the apple music lyrics as the genius lyrics appear to be worded partially incorrectly

this is the part of the song which i just think is so beautifully done. in particular i love the “you don’t knock anymore” of it all

at first it sounds like she’s saying karlie doesn’t knock anymore because she come around anymore, or this idea of there having been a breakup or a period of not being together or something sad, which is matched by the tone of how she sings it for the first time. the waves crashing to the shore feels like a storm.

but at the end of the repetition her voice becomes more upbeat and it dawns on you, you’re like, oh wait karlie doesn’t knock anymore because she doesn’t need to knock anymore, she has a key! (“is that your key in the door?” anyone?)

and suddenly the waves meeting the shore is a pleasant image of unification and happiness. she closes with the thought “you don’t knock anymore and i always knew it” which makes it feel a bit more like mastermind’s “you knew the entire time, and now you’re mine” — always knowing they would get together, taylor always knowing karlie was the one. “and my life had been ruined” is sung in a sort of sweet resignation, one that i find throughout a lot of kaylor music, the idea that she knows its complicated but that its what she chose.

so yeah! that’s why suburban legends is a kaylor song to me 😌

#kaylor

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milgram-tournament · 2 months

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MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 2, Match 5 I LOVE YOU vs. CAT

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for I LOVE YOU:

mappi’s spitting bars 🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️

ok but i, as the iloveyoucountdown person before it released, waited 89 days for ily and SHE DID NOT DISAPPOINT‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥 go vote ily now bc its peak music

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the acoustic section where it just feels so raw and emotional it's crazy also we love to see mappi/miho okasaki rapping again and good lord mahiru delivered hadauwd, like you think about it a lot? like "Ishokujuu plus ai Miss you Raishuu aemasuka no Cadence Yurusarenai ikigai mou iki mo dekinai" it's also so catchy just "Dai- dai- dai- datte suki suki! Dai- dai- dai- datte daisuki."

it's such a quick song but it delivers and it DELIVERS WELL there's so much in the instrumental you can also miss, like sirens and such! again guitar section it's crazy!! i didn't even touch on the visuals, like the visuals are absolutely amazing and really touch on the toxic cycle of mahiru's relationship for example, the carousel turning into a forest! and also they were still able to implement some of tihtbilwy in the beginning of the song! we got to see mahiru's boyfriend as well!! additionally, RATS AND CAKE. HOLY SHIT we all know the absolute shock that appeared on everyone's faces the second that cake turned into a rat (to be honest, I was absolutely sick with shock for the rest of the day) It's really amazing as a song and MV, plus it did help give some more information on Mahiru!

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miho okasaki's vocals are so powerful. it sounds like mahiru is screaming because of not being forgiven and because of what happened to her boyfriend and because "she can't just do it right".

THE LYRICS ARE SO. "clothes food shelter + love and miss you"?? "my lethal weapon is how to be in love with you"?? "kiss goodbye to this feeling cuz it's too heavy"?? again, the "why can't i just do it right" line?? SO GOOD.

MAHIRU RAPPING. THIS SONG STARTS WITH HER RAPPING. LITERAL CHILLS

i've heard the i love you chorus once and now it's in my head forever. i wake up, i sing the i love you chorus. i go to sleep, i sing the i love you chorus.

the lyrics are so sad when you start thinking about them more. "saying i love you but doing what i did, i know i have no right, crossed and covered in sin"?? please, don't you want to give mappi a hug. please she deserves it. she needs it

the "DIE-suki" pun.

the mv is so. i can talk about it for hours. it literally starts with showing us what happened to her bf. i've watched it live, i knew about this part and i still was shocked. mahiru's boyfriend is dead. mahiru is also rapping. also, the lyrics. this scene is terrifying to me and i mean it in the best way possible.

the cake symbolism. mahiru refusing to accept her reality and the true nature of her relationship with her bf and still seeing everything around her as cute and soft and pink. her feeling guilty and not knowing how to express love properly and still choosing to continue to love in this way. i don't know, something about it is so.. it's so sad and so realistic and so heartbreaking

i love how we can say so much about her relationship with her boyfriend based on mv and the lyrics. this is more of a theory and i probably shouldn't talk about it but i like the fact that mappi and her bf's relationship wasn't just abusive or one-sided love or anything like that. it's like they loved each other, they just.. didn't know how to show it or express it in a healthy way (or maybe mahiru's bf did know, but he was okay with going through all of this for her). like this scene when they're both riding the carousel and looking happy at first and even when both of them look like a mess, mahiru's face expression is still pretty much the same while her boyfriend looks much more tired, but he's still smiling. something about that part breaks me.

the instrumental is so fun and chaotic and creepy please listen to it. all milgram instrumentals are great but ily instrumental is definitely one of my fav ones.

Propaganda for CAT:

"You like jazz? Jazz is chaos within order. Got to love the whole band. Vibraphone, saxophone, trumpet, flute, piano, guitar, drums, bass… Go, rhythm section, go! The song sounds tender at times and aggressive at others as different instruments pop up at different times. Sometimes they follow Kazui’s voice (“follow the king of the masquerade”). Sometimes they get to be the focus. You have the chill piano one moment and the screaming guitar in the next.

You’ve got a lovely “jingle” (“Lie until it gets better…”) which occurs at the beginning, middle, and end. It fits the “newspaper ad” style of the video really well. Also at the very end, there’s one more line that gives the jingle an upward contour, giving a sense of finality. “Until you can meet the king of the masquerade.” You’re there now.

The two verses start off differently before they take on a similar melody. It feels like Kazui is talking to a different person in each verse.

The chorus is a beautiful façade the first time and a sinister truth the second time.

The opening for solos shows that this jazz song means business. I love how the saxophone and trumpet especially get in your face. And with the tacet on vocals, the walking bass really shines if you lend it your ear.

And the smoke break! Silence is golden. Glass click. Lighter. Huff.

As always, Kazui’s voice is super deep. He hits even lower notes this time around. He’s a fifth lower than the next lowest singers (Haruka and Shidou)."

---

-Great instrumental choice. Kazui and jazz is *chefs kiss*

-Symbolism. THE SYMBOLISM. I can’t type out all my thoughts but ifykyk

-The almost comic like style of the MV is really appealing.

-Lyrics!! There is so much to unpack but it’s really cool.

-Kazui eating the dove… fricken iconic.

---

FIRST OF ALL the vocals????? BEAUTIFUL. His va put his whole pussy into this song and you can tell!! The way he sings the chorus is so damn addicting I'm so in love with him. His voice is more or less stable throughout the entire thing until the final chorus but you can hear the emotion peaking out which fits perfectly with Kazui keeping everything hidden. The way his voice turns into a sort of whisper during "all the things I wanna do that I can't say outloud"??? The way his voice starts trembling during "this feeling it's yearning to be satisfied"???? The way his voice turns into a sort of whisper AND starts trembling during "hey, if I said I liked-liked you, what would you?"?????? HEAVENLY! You can really feel how afraid Kazui is under his disguise and my heart breaks a little everytime I listen. Not to mention how absolutely powerful his voice gets at the climax!!!!!! It's insane!!!!!!! It's genius!!!!!! It makes me wild makes me crazy makes me eat my walls!!!!!!!!!!

THE SMOKE BREAK?????? What other song has something as powerful as that huh???? This isn't just a song produced by the milgram machine using his memories, this is HIS song and he is OWNING IT! The music builds up so much and gets so intense right before it, I can literally feel myself get tense and starting holding my breath right before he takes the break and everything relaxs… it's not just a break for him, but a break for the viewer. The song is spiralling out of control just like his life and his lies and he has no choice but to put it to a quick stop before its too much to handle.

THE IMAGERY IS WILD!!!!! He's a magician!!! Little magic guy!!!! Using tricks and lies to amaze and captivate the people around him! Trying desperately to magic his own feelings into something else! But it's all fake! It's all tricks and no matter how hard he tries he can never actually change himself into what he wants! But he's trying to convince himself the same way he's convinced his audience!! And when you're watching a magic act, are you there for the magician themself or are you there to watch the show?? The people in his life only cared for him when he performed for them, but they didn't give a drop of love to who he was a person! ALSO the transformation of the wedding ring to a cigarette to the dove at the end??? Makes me wild every single time! Right infront of his wife, he showed her that their marriage was something unhealthy for him that was slowly killing him from the inside. AND THEN he uses it to harm himself???? And then he turns that cigarette into a dove- a representation of love and literally TEARS INTO IT. He tears his marriage apart with his mouth!!! AKA HIS WORDS. makes me wild. Also fun fact Kazui says he started smoking because when he was younger it was "just natural for everyone to smoke" and that lines up with his reasons for marriage perfectly.

Kazui looks really hot in it. You should vote for Cat because Kazui is insanely attractive. What other reason do you need huh? Hot gay middle aged man.

#milgramtournament #milgram #mahiru shiina #shiina mahiru #kazui mukuhara #mukuhara kazui

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bloopitynoot · 7 months

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3 Shadowgast fics that made me ugly cry

Okay so I read a LOT of shadowgast fanfics and I wanted to share some of the ones that made me absolutely weep. (I was going to wait until tomorrow but I got too excited to share).

All of these have some intense emotional distress, but I promise you all they may be angsty but they absolutely have happy endings.

They are all set in very different AU's, are hefty completed fics, and have similar feels!

1. the breathe before the phrase

(171513 words) by @kmackatie Chapters: 20/20 Rating: Explicit Summary: The ringing note of a concert A is played by the oboe, echoing on its own in the space. It’s picked up by the wind section, followed rapidly by the brass, and the familiar feeling of an orchestra calibrating takes over Caleb. The tonal adjustments as each person brings their instrument into alignment sinks into him and something inside Caleb shifts in recognition as Essek leads the strings into their own tuning. It’s like something is waking up, like something unfurling and firing across long-unused paths of memory. His hands shake slightly, as he raises his bow and joins them, fingers fumbling against the pegs and fine tuners that give him control over his instrument. ---- Essek Thelyss is a leading violinist, his spot as Shadowhand of the Rosohna Philharmonic Orchestra has been uncontested for over a decade. Caleb Widogast is a recent arrival to the city, convinced by his friends to audition for one of the vacant violinist positions. After starting off on the wrong foot, Caleb and Essek get to slowly know each other, discover what brings them joy, create while defying expectations, and find out that what they can produce together may just be better than anything they can do separately.

Why I cried: The amount of pressure put on Essek made my heart absolutely shatter. That plus the pinning between Caleb and Essek had me weeping. The hurt/comfort energy. The bad parent Dierta and of course past Caleb Ickythong trauma healing. Other than the story itself Katie has put so much energy into explaining the music, the playlist is stunning, and the inspiration for the played pieces in the fic are grounded in actual compositions. No spoilers, but the ending is gorgeous <3

2.Till Human Voices Wake us

(66080 words) by @ariadne-mouse Chapters: 23/23 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Merman!Caleb, no Mighty Nein but otherwise canon setting/events, Neutral evil Essek, Essek-typical anxiety and fatalism, Loneliness, Hurt/Comfort, spooky gothic vibes, some horror and disturbing imagery, the ocean as a threat/love language, Illustrations, drowning themes Summary: Essek Thelyss, lonely and ambitious prodigy, comes to Nicodranas to make a risky gamble with the Assembly. At the water’s edge, he finds himself swept up in another dangerous entanglement he can't seem to escape — and as time goes on, he's less and less sure he wants to. Will his treasonous alliance or the sea itself devour him first? (Or, the one where Caleb is a merman.)

Why I cried: okay so look, this story was so fucking sad I can't even begin to describe it. The love and longing between the two, the tragic backstory for Caleb. Treason = death for Essek (it's a happy ending though so do not worry, but I definitely worried so you don't have to LOL). It also has some stunning art in it!!!

3. what luminous worlds await

what luminous worlds await (178674 words) by @essektheylyss Rating: Mature Additional Tags: Champion of the Luxon AU, Alternate Universe - Future, Space Opera, Religious Conflict, religious trauma, Violence, Minor Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Dreams vs. Reality, Demisexual Essek Thelyss, Past Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Fictional Religion & Theology, Implied/Referenced Sex, Mention of Using Sex as Self-Harm, several immortals grapple with loss while trying to save the world, so so many liberties taken with consecution, this wouldn't be a problem if you'd EXPLAIN matthew mercer, and/or if a certain drow would give literally any straight answers, (I mean he can't give straight answers when he's not straight), Background Fjorester (Past), Post-Canon, …very post-canon Summary: “You seek my nature. It is a lonely endeavor. Would you like to join me on this path?” “Yes.” — After a thousand years, a divine champion awakes in a lightless cave above Port Damali with little memory to speak of and a beacon in his hands. Even as he struggles to piece the past together and process what he has lost while he slept, the future demands he answer for the crimes of his elders. It offers little in return, but perhaps there are fragments of possibility awaiting him.

Why I cried: Omg oh boy, this one made me BIG cry- honestly one of my favourite fics I have read so far. A true space opera, a story of love, in many forms, over time, space, and multiple lives. I sobbed from chapter one literally until the end. Though I think you will need an A03 account to read this one, but it is worth the wait to set one up. My partner watched me cry so much while I read this. I totally did download and save this fic to send to pals so they can cry with me. It is worth the agony for this happy ending. I might still be crying LOL

#for the shadowgast shippers #shadowgast #shadowgast recs #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #cr m9 #mighty nein #critical role #honestly some of them I sobbed while explaining the premise to my partner because I have a lot of feelings #these are all worth the length

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sunnysam-my · 15 days

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Stolas' Lament VS Just Look My Way

I wasn't really a fan of this song when I first heard the beginning, so I only watched both the original and the official version now, and, oh boy, do I have some thoughts.

The song was first released as a fan single by PARANOiD DJ. Two years later (2023) an officia music video was released, on Vivzie's account, with an updated instrumental and lyrics.

I've highlighted the differentces in lyrics. On left is the original version on right is the official.

This song is actually really great when it comes to it's meaning and development of Stolas. But, OMG, what is with those changes???

But dearest, I know better now I must give you this choice.

Come now, my little impish plaything We both made our choice

What's left for me and my broken heart If I cannot have you?

What's left for me in this broken house If I cannot have you?

I'll give you everything you need What more is there? What more to plead? Just look my way, just look my way What can there be that I don't know? Will you never tell or be so bold? Just say, "please stay" Look my way

Is this what you feel? Scorned by a realm that cannot comprehend What you are, so I'll grant you this mercy this bind on our souls needs to end

Is this how she'd feel? Abandoned, all alone and left to fend for herself for some semblance of happiness that doesn't have to end

The official version just makes Stolas into a selfish asshole! While also try to make him look better at the same time. In both versions he is lamenting the fact that Blitzø doesn't care about him, for some reason Blitz doesn't want to say he doesn't accept that Stolas actually loves him despite their status and agreement. The difference is that in the OG version Stolas actually reflects on what he'd done and how he hurt others. He knows it's his fault, but he doesn't knows how to fix it. It's not about him being sad because he is hurt, like in the official ver, but because he hurt and destroyed everything and everyone around him. In the changed version he makes everything about him.

The change that convinced me to make this post is change of "What's left for me in this broken house, If I cannot have you?" to "What's left for me and my broken heart, If I cannot have you?". I'm sorry, but this is one of those moments that make me go "Ah yes, fandom knows the characters better than the author". It's completely downplays just how much this relationship means to Stolas. I've seen a lot of criticism saying how the agreement between Blitzø and Stolas didn't really posed any threat to Stolas, because of how privileged he is, and I'm sorry, but that's such bullshit. Stolas risk everything for this relationship, despite that he gets the worst part of the stick. And he did loose it all, if Blitzø leaves him, it was all for nothing. He is a royalty! You have to be incredibly naive to think he can just do anything he wants and pay no consequences. Stolas is a tragic character of his own demise. He brought his own downfall on himself. Him choosing to cheat with Blitzø was bound to destroy his marriage, his status, his relationship with his daughter and interfere with his duty.

It just really shows where the show is heading with Stolas. Instead of actually make him a redeemable, tragic character by making him relatable in his struggles to escape his inescapable duty and, well, not being allowed to be a person (remember, he wasn't even allowed to not only show, but also feel strong emotions, even as a child on his birthday), they make him tragic, because "poor owl boy didn't get what he wants and is heartbroken :("

(If you see this as overreaction to a simple change to song's lyrics, that's because I'm not mad about this song in particular, but how the characters turned to more shallow versions of themselves in this show.)

Lyrics without highlights, separately:

#helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva stolas #stolas #blitzø #helluva boss #helluva boss critique

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catherineaboutlife · 4 days

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I entered the void successfully a few days ago and I even wrote down the exact method for it so I can enter again. Later that same day I saw some things (unrelated to the void) that gave me an intense fear and existential dread so I took a break. Now I feel determined to enter the void again after something terrible happened but I still feel… uneasy about it. It’s depression and feeling like a victim vs. the feeling that nothing is actually real. Maybe I fear that the void isn’t real, or even if I do manifest my desired life, I won’t be happy? I feel that it’s urgent to enter but also I feel safe in my sadness because it keeps away the existential dread. I’m not sure what to do.

Hi dear!

Sorry for the late reply...

First of all, congratulations on successfully entering the void state! It's great!

I am truly sorry that you are dealing with such negative and destructive feelings. But, judging by your message, happiness plays an important role for you, since you are afraid that even the life of your dreams will not make you happy. I suggest that you focus your attention on this life value and goal.

In fact, negative feelings can be very addicting. But your task is not to give in to this game. Negative feelings don't deserve to overwhelm you to the point where you're ready to give up on your dream life. You deserve to be happy.

I don’t know what exactly happened to you, and only you can decide what to do with your life. But, if you really want to be happy, then allow yourself to be happy. Don't let negative feelings stay inside you. Live these feelings, throw them out, but don’t leave them. You deserve to live the life of your dreams!

Don't hurry. Time is endless, you have all the resources to achieve success. Calm down.

Whatever you want to be real will be real. You decide what happens and what doesn't happen. But don’t go into hyper control of reality, don’t look for confirmation of negative thoughts. You are free. You can just be happy. Don't worry about things that you don't think are worthy of your attention. It will go away, trust me.

I also recommend reading these posts from my blog:

Also listen to the music from this post. My readers and I will offer cool songs to help you feel your omnipotence. Music is great for helping you feel positive energy and cope with stress!

I'm confident that you will make the right choice for you. I'm with you! You deserve a better life! ❤️

Good luck!

#loa tumblr #loa blog #loa #void #law of assumption blog #edward art #4d #void state #the void state #3d #neville goddard #loablr #loassumption #loans #dream life

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sadboytournament · 5 months

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ROUND TWO

Propaganda

Orpheus: Everyone else in that game is a smoking hot babe and here's Orpheus, banished because he was too sad to play music and then when you bring him back he still sits in the corner being sad until you fix his marriage. Even after he gets his happy ending he just has sad vibes

Kit the Fennec: He is literally a sopping wet beast. Some guy who was taken by a scientist and experimented on until he lost all of his memories and now exists to serve another. He has water powers. His nickname is Drippy. Basically, if Tails from Sonic was sad and more pathetic

#tumblr tournaments #the sadboy tourney #orpheus #hades game #kit the fennec #sonic idw

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punishereditz · 16 days

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Stuck Up

Pairing: La Knight x f!reader

Warnings: 18 plus only! Minors DNI! DO NOT COPY! Get ready, there is a lot of warnings. Reader is a part of the judgement day. Use of Knight's real name. Arguing. Fighting. (Not to bad.) Different kind of summerslam. Smut. Pure smut. Rough sex. Oral. (f!receiving) Dirty talk. Praise kink. Choking. Edging. Spanking. Marking. Bondages. Piercings. Claiming. Overstimulation. Creampie. Squirting.

AN: And then you get this fic, then I take it to my penthouse, and I freak it

Word count: 2.1k

Summary: La Knight is the world heavyweight champion until you cost him the match and he isn't happy about that.

Summerslam night. La Knight vs Drew Mcintyre for the world heavyweight championship. It was the main event. A huge night for La as it was one of his biggest matches since becoming champion almost a year ago. It was gonna be another easy win. He's defended his title time and time again and each time he has come out on top. Tonight was going to be no different. Or... at least that's what he thought.

It was a long, exhausting match. Drew would have the advantage, then La Knight would get it back. Back and forth between the men. The match was amazing, and the crowd roared the entire time. It was all going perfectly. He delivered a perfect blunt force trauma and had Drew's shoulder down. Going for the pin. One! Two! He was stopped at three. Your music playing throughout the arena. La Knight was livid as he watched you sprint down the ramp with Damian's money in the bank case in your hand. You got to a referee as quickly as possible and cashed it in. That was when Damian ran and slid into the ring. Knight wasn't on his feet for more than a second when Priest presented his finisher. Hit the lights. One! Two! Three! Your new men's world heavyweight champion. Damian Priest!

La knight watched as it was taken away from him just like that. In a snap of a finger. A flash of a second. He knew it was going to have to happen eventually, but that still didn't mean he wasn't absolutely pissed about it. Which, he didn't know what he was madder about. The fact that he just lost his title... or the fact that he just lost his title because of you. He felt betrayed in a way. You and Knight didn't have anything to do with each other when it came to on screen. But backstage? Knight would find himself passing by the judgement day's locker room in hopes to find you and you would catch yourself lurking around the champ's door. The two of you always finding ways to corner the other. Flirting in secret. So, when he saw you with that brief case... it enraged him.

He didn't feel sad about it, he just felt... angry. And he was gonna do something about it. He was banging on your hotel room door with more force than needed. Impatiently waiting. He went to bang on the door again, but you opened the door before he could. You looked at him annoyed and confused. "What are you doing here?"

"You know exactly what I'm doing here." He pushed past you. Not asking if it was okay for him to enter.

"No. I don't exactly. Care to explain?" You watched as he looked around the room then looked at you. His eyes slowly looking you up and down. At the tight shorts that barely even touched your thighs. The loose tank top. Your crossed arms that defined your muscles and pushed up your breast. This was getting better and better for him.

"Tonight." He growled. Taking a step forward.

"What about it?"

"What about it?! What about it is that you made me lose my strap!" His voice raised and you scoffed.

"Shaun, you knew what was going to happen tonight. Why are you pissed at me for it?" Your tone matched his as you raised your voice as well.

"I didn't know it was going to be you!"

"What do you want me to do about it?! I can't change what happened!" The both of you were shouting now. In each other's face.

"You could have had one of your other little emo nitwits to have done it!"

"Yeah, but Damian had me do it!"

"Oh, so now it's Damian's fault?! He was the one who put you up to it?!"

"Shaun don't dare make it out like I wanted to do that!"

"Oh, but it sure as hell did look like you wanted too! So fucking stuck up to them!"

"Stuck up?!"

"Yeah! So. Fucking. Stuck. Up. To. Them! You practically kiss their asses!"

"Well, I may be stuck up to them, but at least I'm not the one with my head so fair stuck up my ass!"

"You had better watch your fucking mouth."

You shook your head and sighed. Both of your faces were red, the two of you yelling so much and getting so worked. The veins in his neck were popping and he was standing dangerously close to you. Things getting heated so fast.

"What is this about? What is this really about?!" You finally spoke again.

"It's about the fact that it was you! You! It's all about you!" He grabbed your waist and pulled you against him. His hot breath on your face as he towered over you.

Yours and his adrenaline was high. Your hearts hammering, your blood pulsing with fury. Your breath heavy. His eyes heavier on you. His eyes traveling over your body and stopping at your breast. His jaw clenched. Staring at your nipple piercings. He's never noticed those before. His cock strained against his jeans. Then, he suddenly hoisted you up. Wrapping your legs around his waist and without a second thought, he furiously kissed you.

He pushed you against the wall with force and you moaned into his mouth as you felt the small sting in your back and the crack of the wall behind you. Your fingers lacing through his hair and pulling it. Digging your fingers into his shoulder. Earning a groan from him. He pushed his tongue past your lips. Deepening the kiss. Letting his frustrations out. But this wasn't good enough. This wasn't even close to good enough. "Pick a safe word." Your mind was in such a whirl, you couldn't answer him.

"Pick a safe word sweetheart." He repeated and you were able to pull your thoughts together enough to answer him. "Receipt."

"Good girl." He put you down and with a sweep of his hand, he ripped your shirt right in half. Throwing it down and taking one of your breasts into his mouth. His tongue swirling around your nipple until he grasped your piercing in his teeth and tugged on it. A desperate moan leaving your lips. He did the same to the other side and he kissed, sucked, and bit your breast until he was satisfied. But the satisfaction still wasn't close to being filled. He needed more. He pulled his shirt over his head, throwing to the floor and pulling your shorts down, as well as your underwear. He grabbed you by the throat. Pulling you to him. His hand adding a little bit of pressure. Your pulse surging under his fingertips. His kiss on your lips all tongue and teeth.

Then you yelped as he threw you up on his shoulder. You gripped his hair as you looked down at him looking up at you with a devilish smile. That was when he buried his face into your pussy. Licking a line up your folds. Then he licked your clit before he sucked on it. Making you arch your back and try to close your legs around his head, but he didn't let you. The hold on your knees tight enough so you're not going anywhere. Because you're going to be here awhile. He is going to take his precious time. Starting to suck on your clit a little harder, swirling quick circles around it. Then he let his tongue travel down and dip into your entrance. Slipping it in and out of you. Pulling loud moans from you. Your climax was sneaking up on you and it was starting to sneak up onto you fast. He knew it to.

He could tell by the increase in volume in your moans and how you started to squirm more on top of his shoulders. So, he slowed it down, tortuously slow. Agonizingly slow. You groaned in frustration and that made him chuckle. The vibration of it making a chill run down your spine. You need to release your climax, but he simply wouldn't allow it. He kept it going. He kept you up on his shoulders, eating you out. Edging you over and over. Getting you worked up only to not let you have what you so desperately craved. It feels like this has been going on for an eternity. But finally, now that he's ready, he lets you come. The circles of his tongue on your clit not slowing down this time when you start to get close. Your sweet long awaited climax crashes over you. Hitting you like a wrecking ball. Coming all over his mouth, it dripping down to his neck. Once your breath slows and your legs aren't shaking so badly, he body slams you down on the bed.

A mischievous grin on his lips as he does. He lifts your hips and flips you over on your stomach. Staring down at your ass as he takes his belt off. "Hands." He demands and you put your hands behind your back, and he takes the belt to tie them together. He smiles in amusement, and he slaps your ass. Making you whine. "Are you using your safe word?" He rubs his hand over your ass. "No..." You manage to gasp out. "Good. I'm just getting started." He slapped your ass again. This time harder. Then he unzipped his jeans. Pulling his pants and underwear down. Freeing his cock.

He slapped your ass hard a few more times before he thrusted his cock into your cunt. Bottoming out immediately and giving you no warning. He did give you a few seconds to adjust to him. But once you did, he grabbed your bondage hands and started to pound into you. Slamming his cock into you. Thrusting into you harshly. Making you scream. Your walls clenching around him. Making his cock throb. "I want you to understand something..." He grabbed you by the throat and pulled you up. Pressing your back to him. The new angle of his pounding even more flustering.

"You're mine." He growled. Biting your ear and leaving marks over your neck. Somehow seeming to pound into you harder. "Not judgement days. Not Damian's. Mine. You belong to me." He made his point across as he thrusted harshly into you. His cock slamming in and out of you. Your climax starting to build again. "That beautiful face... this pretty cunt... it's all mine."

He groaned as your walls clenched around him. His cock twitching. His climax starting to get close to him as well. "Next time... your gonna be standing by my side. Holding my title. Cashing in my money in the bank." It slowly all became too much for you. His filthy words he kept whispering in your ear. His hand around your throat. His cock slamming into you. Your climax washed over you, but he didn't stop there. Oh no. He kept fucking you until your legs were jerking and you were screaming his name. Making you come again and again. Making you feel the best pleasure you have ever felt. He knew just how to drive you. He knew how to push you to the limits but without going to fair. He knew the perfect line between pain and pleasure. He was doing it all perfectly. With a loss of count of your orgasms and a scream of his name, you squirted all over him. Your body shaking. His cock throbbing and twitching as he filled your cunt up.

He gently kissed your skin as you both slowly came down from your highs. Sweat shimmering your bodies. Your breaths heavy and your pounding hearts starting to calm a bit. He slowly pulled out of you. Yours and his cum dripping down you. He took the belt off of you and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. Then he went into the bathroom. Drawing a bath for you and him. As the water ran, he heard a knock at the door. He wrapped a towel around his waist, and you cover yourself with a blanket.

When he opened the door, he was greeted by a middle-aged man in a suit. "Hey. We've gotten multiple noise complaints for this room..." What was assumingly to be the manager, glanced into the room and a flash of horror washed over his face. He looked horrified. Frozen there for a moment. "Just... keep the noise down." That was all he could think to say. You had to cover your mouth to keep from laughing, but to also hid the embarrassment and Shaun only grinned.

#la knight #la knight smut #la knight x reader #la knight imagine #wwe #wwe smut #wwe fic #wwe smackdown #friday night smackdown #smut fanfiction #x reader #shaun ricker

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hawthornvisual · 2 months

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2013 vs 2024

tbh, this is incredibly difficult for me. as a trans woman, there are certain expectations for posts like these. some gruff but sad looking man who was transformed into a happy beautiful girl via hormones. so you might think that nothing has changed. or perhaps i have gone backwards, gotten hairier, bigger, becoming even more of a man than i started off as.

this might be hard to read, so i'll put the rest under a read more. CW for homelessness, starvation, transmisogyny, and probably a few things i'm missing.

my transition has been messy. in some ways, you might say that i spent the first 25 years of my life transitioning. as a child i was efemminate, loved to play dress up and dolls, but my father was so against this that he filed a lawsuit against my mother, getting a court order forbidding her from "forcing me to crossdress." this set the tone for the rest of my childhood, which is a story i will not get into here because it is much worse than the story i'm trying to tell.

growing up in a christian fundamentalist home meant that it wasn't until much later, after my mother gained custody and i had gone on to experience even further ruination of my life, that i even learned that trans people exist. that this was a thing you could do, could be. a brief flash, something hiding behind my eyes, and i had locked it away. of course i wasn't trans. i was an athlete, a martial artist, a musician, why would i need to think about gender?

when i was 16, i joined tumblr. i saw a blooming transgender community, got to see the inner thoughts and conversations that trans people were having, couldn't avoid certain things any longer. i started to identify as nonbinary, eventually even coming out to my mother, who certainly TRIED to be supportive. it was exciting, made my heart race a little, made me scared. i had no idea what i was doing, or how my world was about to turn upside down and inside out.

the summer i turned 18, i was severely injured in a martial arts tournament. my right knee had caved in, the bone at the site of the joint crushed by a man i had thought was my friend. i didn't realize what had happened, and so didn't go to a doctor until two weeks later, at which point the damage was considered irreversible. everything i was disappeared. i lost all will to live. i stopped drawing, stopped playing music. i started drinking heavily. my family knew i was struggling but any efforts to fix the situation just made it worse. my mother and older brother had been putting more and more pressure on me to get a job and get out of the house, even though i could barely walk. my older brother told me that my mother was going to kick me out if i couldn't start contibuting. i still couldn't. i became homeless for the first time at the age of 19.

when you're homeless, it's like every single day is drawn out into countless hours, and you either have nothing to do, or far too much to do, and nothing in between. i had an online partner at the time, someone who turned out to be a chaser targeting suspiciously egg shaped men and nonbinary people, who spent the entire time getting more and more frustrated that i didn't have the time to be a fucktoy. i ended up insitutionalized for a month, after which i was kicked to the curb and left with nothing but a backpack and the clothes on my back. any journey of self discovery i may have been having was on hold until i wasn't fighting for survival.

my rescue came from a nonbinary lesbian who reached out to me. i was offered a room, a place to stay for no cost. they helped me break up with my partner. i found myself in a new sort of situationship, but at a confusing cost. why was this lesbian interested in me? was that even okay? eventually we had a conversation. they revealed to me that they had thought i was a trans woman. the fact that i had been seen as a woman hit me like a truck in a blindzone i didn't know i had.

after a difficult few days of arguing with myself, i couldn't hide from it. i was a woman. maybe i had always been a woman. a thought more terrifying than it had any right to be.

i grew my hair out. i started shaving. after a few months, i was even able to book my first HRT appointment (thank you state of washington trans healthcare laws). i came out to my mother a second time, and her reaction was much different this time. maybe due to the distance that had grown between us, the past hostility that left scars still bleeding, but i suspect it was because telling her that her firstborn son was actually a woman was much scarier to her than telling her that i didn't really care about gender.

this photo is from the day that i had my first HRT appointment. my soft chin, once a weakness, could be bared proudly, the ambiguity in my face becoming something that i cherished.

a year later, i had the longest hair of my life. if i shaved and wore makeup, and dressed right, i could get gendered correctly so long as i didn't speak. in that regard, i was truly getting the full experience of womanhood. my relationship with my partner was going strong. i thought that i had found my forever.

things got messy. you will probably hear me say this again. you won't find many better ways to describe my life, other than messy. my partner had always been polyamorous, but i was not, and had not ever pretended that this was not the case. so when one of my partners friends confessed her love to them, they went into panic mode. suddenly they were pushing everyone away, reverting to old bad habits and anxieties, and our relationship began to fall apart.

the friend, we'll call her A, pretended to move on, started dating someone else. my own friendship with A was strained by the situation, and her new partner, a butch lesbian named rowan, seemed to be suffering for it. i realized that the only way our relationships could survive was if we tried to work out an agreement to polyamory. in the end that wasn't enough, but i was desperate. i was starting to see the cracks, realizing that if this fell apart, i would be homeless again. my leg injury had already been so badly worsened from my first experience with homelessness, i knew that going through it again would be the end of me.

since my partner and A were now seeing each other, i began to get ignored. the only time either of them spent talking to me was talking about each other, either joyous or trying to fix some new problem. at this point, i started getting to know rowan. we had a lot in common, i had never talked to a butch before, let alone known one, and seeing the way that they navigated gender made me jealous. i didn't know why.

more and more, rowan and i were separated from the broader relationship, and as we talked more, something developed. i had already felt it the first time we spoke, on some level, but it had grown and grown, from respect, to admiration, to desire and love. we were in a polyamorous relationship after all, so it made sense to me. but shortly after, when i told my partner what i was feeling, they freaked out. this wasn't the agreement, they had only agreed to them being able to date other people, didn't think that it would need to be specified because i wasn't polyamorous.

the entire relationship falls apart and we go back to being two separate couples, and the end of that came swiftly after. they cheated on me with A, and when i found out, that was it. my now ex partner told me that i could stay at the apartment until the lease ran out, and they would move back in with their parents. they took all the furniture, i was left with an ancient computer, a blanket, some clothes, and two pillows. my depression came back with a vengeance, and i stopped eating. by the time the lease ran out, i had lost a dangerous amount of weight. i became homeless for the second time at age 22.

this time, after only six months, i found a thin sliver of hope. i was given a place to stay. a single-wide trailer that i would share with three other trans women and a hairy nonbinary lesbian. you've probably heard the stories of similar situations. it's impossible to have healthy boundaries in a space the size of a can of sardines. or healthy anything really. i got involved in an incredibly toxic relationship with one of the other trans women, who i found out was dating nearly a dozen other people.

the only thing i could do was try to feel wanted. desired. i began experimenting with my image.

i re-established contact with rowan, but there was so much there that i couldn't bring myself to face yet. as i began to experiment with more masculine presentation, those around me took a greater interest in me. i was an object of desire. it was the most worth i had felt i ever had.

i wasn't eating again. so my weight kept dropping. in the three-odd years since my first encounter with homelessness, i had lost 30% of my entire bodyweight. this only made my physical issues get worse and worse.

i wasn't done with experimentation though. what could i do with this newfound territory?

the time came. i couldn't stay anymore. the relationship had fallen apart, and my connection to the household had been sent away in exile. the irony of this is not lost on me. i was lucky enough to be able to couch surf for a few months this time.

i lost weight again.

and again.

my knee got worse and worse. my iliotibial band tore. my birthday came and went, nobody celebrated except for rowan, now my only friend.

a week after my birthday, a lesbian couple contacted me. told me that they had a spare bedroom, and that if i could cover the costs of my own food, could stay for as long as i liked.

i started HRT again. rowan and i had managed to work through all the shit and scum of our past and started a relationship anew. it felt like this could be real.

i started to look a lot like my mom. kind of uncomfortably like my mom. rowan was butch, so i had thought i should be a femme. i didn't understand what that meant, but whatever it was i attempted, it wavered dramatically.

i began to switch, every month or so, between masculine and feminine presentation. my chest had grown enough that it was visible now, and i experienced an equal amount of joy and fear when i was gendered correctly in public, having learned to fear people finding out that i was a trans woman.

the weight didn't come back. it was like my body had burned itself so far down that it could not regrow. i had no energy, and my physical condition continued to deteriorate. but i was allowed to be myself. and i was in love with a butch. maybe that would be enough.

i began to develop a fashion sense of my own. the butch label was starting to appeal to me. and my roommates seemed to agree, since they both shifted towards butchness and masculinity alongside me. but it wasn't to last. one of my roommates, a TME lesbian i'm gonna call M, suddenly went off on a transmisogynistic rant to me. M's partner was a trans woman, and hearing this caused me to suddenly re-evaluate everything. did this happen because M viewed me as more masculine now, a more acceptable target? would this happen to G, M's partner?

i hardcore shifted gears back to feminine presentation. it felt safer. i stopped eating again. things weren't okay, but they were bearable this way. but then, one day, we got locked out of our apartment. a stupid, played out thing that happens to everyone at least once. while my roommate G went to see if the apartment manager was in with a spare key, i attempted to climb our balcony and get in through the unlocked back door. when i was up on the railing of our balcony, it gave way, and i fell to the asphalt below, breaking my back. following a trend that i set half a decade ago, i didn't realize it had happened. my back hurt, but i thought it would go away. it did, replaced by a vast numbness through the middle of my back. i began to collapse any time i tried to exhert myself physically at all. i would only find out why years later. the fact that i couldn't contribute to chores anymore, and nobody knew why, made the situation with M deteriorate much faster.

at my lowest point in years. my relationship with rowan was the only thing that kept me from giving up, but after the third time M decided to spew vileness at me i just spent months locked away in my room, terrified that any time i saw M was going to be another lecture about how i was disrespectful, loud, obtrusive, intimidating, too quiet, too lazy, whatever incoherent train of thought i would have to face next.

it was too much to handle in combination with the events of 2020, the lockdowns, the illness, the forest fires, things ended up coming to a head. at age 25, i became homeless for the third time, during the pandemic and a wildfire that filled the air with plastic fumes so thick you couldn't see ten feet in front of you.

i got in contact with my mother and had her take my cat, because i knew i couldn't take care of her like this. that was the last time i saw my cat in person before she died. rowan was frantically trying anything and everything possible to help me. i thought that this might be the end.

three and a half years ago today i got the best news of my life. there was a way out. it would be a long and tricky road, involving moving my whole life to a new country. but we could do it. not only could we do it, but we actually did it. in a months time, i was in rowan's arms. for the first time in our years of knowing each other, there was nothing keeping us apart any longer.

i was finally able to rest. able to eat. i started to regain weight for the first time in nearly a decade. i felt my energy come back, slowly at first, and then more and more until i was capable of functioning, even if at a low level. it's around then that i find out the truth of what happened to my back. it still hasn't properly healed.

in my gratefullness for life and love, i briefly forgot my identity crisis. i was happy to just exist without fear and pain. it wasn't until about a year ago, when a miracle occurred, that this changed.

i woke up one morning, feeling more energetic than usual. i think to myself, maybe i can do some light exercise, for old times sake.

my knee doesn't hurt.

MY KNEE DOESN'T HURT.

a wound that i thought would dictate my life forever, given actual time to rest and food to fuel the process, had healed. everything that i had ever given up on came rushing back into my head, ideas about who i could be, what i could become, what other injuries i might be able to recover from if i treat them right and rebuild myself. ten months ago i began to work out consistently. my back is slowly healing. i am stronger than i ever was before.

i have had to rebuild myself so many times. did i ever discover the secret of butchness in the process? no, that's something that i think will take the rest of my life. for now, my butchness is an enduring pillar, the only part of myself that never fully burnt away. standing up for myself, being my own person, loving another butch, refusing to lose the kindness i so desperately clung to my whole life, refusing to limit myself and my dreams, this is who i am. i am friends with other butches. i am not alone anymore. for now, this is butch. this is me.

#transgender #transition timeline #trans woman #butch

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v4mp-reads · 4 months

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Hello. I hope you doing well. I would like to request a Rhea Ripley X Fem! Reader where reader is a young wrestler and apart of The Judgement Day and ( also married to Rhea if possible) was out for a year and a half due to a ACL Injury caused by Nia Jax during a backstage attack and returns during a Nia Jax vs Zoey Stark Match to attack Nia but Rhea ends up stopping her during the attack carrying her backstage and consoling her as she breaks down and as Rhea is calming her Nia storms up and tries to confront reader but Rhea puts an stop to it before reader can go off again. If not I completely understand. Thanks

Not my gif^

Thank you for the request!

Rhea x Fem! Reader fluff

Warnings: fighting (in wrestling) spelling mistakes(I'm dyslexic)

Y/n's pov

Sitting in the judgment day locker room I stated at the tv screen as the announcers talked about Nias match with zoey stark. My blood ran hot as i have spent the last year and a half out on behalf of nia. Today was my first day back clear and I'm planning on making her regret what she did. Some other people where not very happy with that. Some people being rhea and Damian, rhea knew i wasnt going to be happy when nias match was the main event on my first day back, and she made me promise her, witch i crossed my fingers while promising, that i would stay in the locker room. Well that wasnt going to happen. I knew that rhea Damian would be talking with triple H while the match was going on because rhea would come out after the match. As it was a contenders match for a shot at her belt.

As i set back on the couch Rhea walked in. "Hi baby." She said sitting beside of me "whatcha thinking about" her ancient thick. "Just how much i want to rip her head off. Im tired of hearing nia this nia that" I had gotten quite frustrated "my love you will get your chance just not tonight" she placed her hand on my knee offering a soft smile. 'thats what you think', i said to my self.

Me and rhea sat there for about another 15 minutes before she was pulled out by someone to go talk to hunter. I waited as i watched the match start. Zoey started with the upper hand,this didnt last to long as nia caught zoey with a a few big blows to the chest. I took this as my moment. I made my way down telling the guy to play my song. Once i got out there nia had zoey up for a sumoen drop. I could here the announcers as they talked "y/r/n is back! It’s been almost year and a half since she was put out for a torn acl.” I watch as nias face goes white and she drops Zoey before being able to complete her move. I make my way to the ring grabbing a mike before Zoey hit Nia with a z360. Allowing her to win. As Zoey made her way out of the ring I made mine in. “Nia Nia Nia, long time no see.” I say leaning down to her laying on the Mat “now..remember about a year and a half ago when you thought it was a good idea to to attack me back stage. Well guess what. Karmas a bitch..and I guess my names karma” I threw the mike down but before I could hit her I hear Rheas music start to play. I turned to see her running to the ring, she grabs me by waist and pulled me out of the ring. “Y/n what the fuck was that?” She yelled “you seen what it was rhea. She deserved it! She put me out for almost two years!”

“Baby I get that, you will get the match but not like this. You are going to get fined” she continued as she pulled me back into the locker room. Tears of anger and frustration fall from my face “For almost 2 years rhea I have seen her get every thing she wanted after attacking me! I get tweets saying how I’ll never come back after that! What do you expect me to do. I can’t take it. I want my pay back. Because guess what she didn’t have a match when she attacked me, she didn’t get anything but a slap on the wrist. I lost a title opportunity. Thank goodness you whent on to win and I never want to take it from you my love, but that was my shot!” I cried out almost in a panic of anger and sadness.

She just looked at me with soft eyes, before pulling me into a tight hug, “I understand darling, i know it’s okay calm down y/n it will be alright” she said and continued to whisper soft nothings into my ear calming me down. This was until we heard a nock on the door thinking it was one of the other members we opened the door and Nia came barging in “who do you think you are!” She yelled in my face “ruining my match! You are nobody! And the only reason you are someone is because of little miss Rhea here!”

“How does it feel to lose a chance at a match. Huh! Like I said..karmas a bitch, and I’m karma!” I got closer to her, closing the gap between us, she was a bit taller than me but it didn’t matter. “I’ll just put you out for another year..or maybe I’ll be able to end your career before it even actually starts, that’s if it could even” she spat out, that’s when something in me snapped I went to punch her but before my hand could connect with anything Rhea pulled me back getting in between me and Nia “get out of my locker room, and don’t you dare talk to her like that again. I promise you. You will regret it” Rhea said in a scarily calm voice, that sent shivers down my spine. Nia stood face to face with her for another minute or two before walking out. That’s when the words actually hit me. Was I only someone because of her, is Rhea the only reason I have a chance here. She must of seen the look on my face because just then she places a small kiss on my lips “y/n l/n, you are the strongest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. You are amazing. You deserve everything. You made your own name not me.” She said softly

The end! Thank you for reading!

Xoxo, v4mp

#wwe raw #wwe smackdown #wweoneshots #wwe rhea ripley #rhea ripley #rhea x reader #judgment day #wwe fic #wwe gifs #zoey stark #nia jax #finn balor #damian priest #dominik mysterio

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sailorblossoms · 8 months

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Said this before but there's something about Baz not really feeling close to anyone, feeling completely disconnected from his surroundings ("because he's dead and he can't connect with the living, they all have something he doesn't have" he says, talking about vampirism, but it's also how good ol' depression can be like) while Simon is obsessed with being close to him, specifically. All that following him around everywhere, keeping tabs on him, growing restless if Baz isn't around or if he doesn't know what Baz is doing – already telling us he's concerned about Baz's safety and wellbeing – wanting to be on Baz's mind as much as Baz is in his own, wanting to be part of Baz's hobbies. Wanting to be the person who knows him best, and fighting for that whenever he feels he has competition for Baz's heart.

I'm equally thrilled and haunted by “as soon as Baz is unhappy, I can’t think of anything else,” which Simon shares in awtwb alongside something like "I want to make it better. The mere idea is very thrilling to me." I don't doubt Simon would've been obsessed with Baz regardless because it’s Baz, but this stands out in hindsight, because Baz was in a constant state of sadness... And Simon thought about him all the time. Again, he was obsessed either way... but Baz’s sadness must have driven him crazy (it’s another thing where they match, as Simon carries profound sadness too) (Watford and being a hero brings happiness for Simon, but he’s desperately holding on to roles and expectations that do make him miserable. Heteronormativity fucks him up.)

Can't help but wonder about Simon's "Baz has only 3 expressions and they're all variations of disgust towards me" ... because we know he's bullshitting. At this point, he has been "observing Baz's soul" (which he uses as an argument as Baz "being alive" later in CO) meaning that he knows very well Baz has much more depth. That he feels much more deeply. He has seen it in the catacombs. He has heard it in his music, he has seen it in the ways he plays, in the passion with which he studies, etc etc. It must’ve been one of his greatest desires, inaccessible and impossible to decode to the Simon he was back then, for the alluring, competent little jerk he was rooming with to look at him with anything other than a practiced mask of "disdain." For him to let Simon in (Simon not listening to Baz basically confessing he's a vampire because Baz is pushing him away vs being all ears when he's letting him in) instead of having Simon follow him everywhere (when Simon thinks he's enchanted by him and would follow him anywhere in WS, it hits, because he has been that all along, hasn't he.) For him to not be so pained all the time (Simon notes, when Baz plays his violin after they have sex, that he didn't even know it could make happy sounds, that it always sounded sad in Watford).

Where Baz feels cold and disconnected, Simon yearns to connect with him (to keep him warm. It's a whole thing, Simon noticing his literal coldness and using his own body to warm him up, with hands, with lips) Awtwb brings up lots of desires, including those that have been buried for a long time. And one of those is the following: Simon wants Baz to be happy. And he wants to be the one making him happy.

#simon snow #snowbaz #baz pitch #simon snow trilogy #carry on #baz x simon #baz grimm pitch #awtwb #wayward son

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