Queen Ezra: Oh, you think you can save her?
Hardwon: I think she can save herself.
Queen Ezra: That’s so WOKE!
Hardwon, not being immune to aging, starts to slow down around the 150 year mark. On the one hand, there’s nothing wrong with going out swinging… on the other, there’s less dignity in slipping and breaking a hip, even if Bev or Moonshine have restoration spells on standby. He retires to the crick to focus on illustrating a series of children’s books for the dwarfanage and the youngins.
Bev remains as spry and yippee-skippee as ever. The call to adventure, to do good in the world is too strong for him to ignore, though - it’s alright at first, he can ignore it while he finishes school. That’s what summers are for, right? But after college..? He can’t settle down. The need to roam and right wrongs drives him across all of Bahumia and through the outer planes. No one knows what really happened to him in the end… maybe he got trapped in a gem, or it’s time shenanigans in the feywild, or he goofed the wrong god and got turned into a pangolin. All Moonshine can tell is that she can’t scry on him anymore, and he doesn’t respond to true resurrection.
Moonshine… Moonshine is still there, but she’s not around like she used to be. Elves have a weird enough sense of time, and druids doubly so. Between communing with the plants and other nigh-immortals like Mee Maw and Pendergreens, and traveling the world to spread her spores and visiting other planes… there’s so much to do, and no rush to do it, and it’s just easy to lose track of time. Is it Tuesday or Wednesday? May or July? “See you again soon” means something different when you’re looking at thousands of years.
So. Moonshine’s been planewalking for the better part of the last decade, and Bev is MIA… and Hardwon is already thinking of another story to make life a little easier for the dwarfans.
Princess Jovyre: Did you die recently?
Hardwon: Why I did, thank you for noticing.
It’s someone at the university who comes up with it. Naming stars after the four of them, her and Hardwon and Bev and Balnor. Hardwon laughs when he hears, his beard gone grey and laughter lines covering his face. I’m fucking positive I have a poem about this somewhere, he says, rummaging around his stump, and the conversation drifts away from the university’s decision to making fun of Hardwon’s early poetry.
It’s not brought up again until a few years later, after Hardwon dies. (In his home, with bev on his left and moonshine on his right and as many of his friends squeezed in as possible, the walls covered in his art.) Beverly and Moonshine are standing together in the Crick, looking up at the sky.
Hey Bev? Moonshine says quietly, arm around his shoulders. It might just be me, but, remember when they named some stars after us?
Bev looks at her quizzically. Yeah, I remember. Why, what’s up?
Moonshine rubs the back of her neck with her other hand. Well… I was looking at them the other day, and Hardwon’s… it looks a little brighter. But I don’t know, it might just be me, missing him.
Bev looks up at the sky, searches out the constellation the university had dubbed ‘the Titans.’
It doesn’t look like them, not really. Four vaguely humanoid shapes of three different sizes, but when the idea had been put forward it had been agreed upon almost immediately, and none of them thought it would come to anything.
But Bev looks and the cluster of stars that make up ‘Hardwon’ do seem a little bright. For just a second, Bev can hear Hardwon’s loud, joyful laugh on the Crick breeze, and he sniffles a little.
Well. We did a lot of pretty wild stuff. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was up there, watching over us.
They lean closer into each other, and stare up the sky for a little while longer.
Moonshine stop making me cry challenge.
Bev: Hardwon, how basic are you willing to go?
Hardwon: I’ll get a pumpkin spice latte.
“I lived my life in the light and then I realized today that you guys were a bunch of fucking dweebs.”
“daddy gonna make you crit? huh?” is endlessly funny, but in jake’s voice its also alarmingly sexy and i dunno what to do with that info
Hardwon: Can I look at the amulet on Bev’s dead body?
Bev: Remember me.
On ep 80 of naddpod and I’m gonna fucking GO FERAL.
“Hard to imagine all the shit we’ve been through is us succeeding.”
I’m relistening to the faewild arc and holy shit, the unintentional foreshadowing of-
SPOILERS FOR FAEWILD ARC AND ON
-Hardwon’s deaths are everywhere. In the 1st episode of the arc, Murph jokes that Hardwon is gonna die in the faewild. Then there are jokes about that Hardwon would die before he was short and then there is a joke about turning into a vampire. It’s honestly insane.
For anyone Who didn’t see one of the Naddpod anamatics I made—here is my favorite,, you should give it a look
“What’s in your cup, Triss?”
And of course we must wrap up this Au dump with the Chosen Boobs Au!!! Thiala makes us screech