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#harleen quinzel

Harley is out with Dinah and Helena when trouble finds them. the only thing they can do is call Harley’s girlfriend? But this is the one night a month (Y/N) uses to relax.

warning: violence, minor character death, blood, cursing. that is I think.

not one of my best works, still hope you enjoy.
Sorry if there are any mistakes, they are all mine.

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Originally posted by harleyquinnandpuddin

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In honor of Quarantine it means I can walk out wearing whatever I want long as no one can see skin, so I'm going to the store in a full Red Hood costume.

Me [to @thepoolofthedead]: You know, that’s a, um, really convincing outfit. You sure this is a good idea? I mean we are in Gotham and –

thepoolofthedead: *shrugs*

Me: Let’s just, er, keep a low profile, maybe?

Roller skates: *slowing down to a stop in front of us*

Harley Quinn: *squeals from behind her sparkly face mask and holds out grabby hands* If it isn’t my precious Baby J! Okay, NOT to be mistaken for Mistah J, who freakin’ dumped me again! I mean, he just beat me to it! It was my turn – myyyyy turn – to dump his pale butt! *scoffs* Well, you know what, I don’t need him no more, no sireeeee! *pouts* But it got lonely in my apartment real fast… So, what’s a gal to do, right? Figured I’d roll around the streets for a while, find a pal or two… All my buddies refuse to get outta their “lairs” or whatever. Boo hoo! And I  was, like, but aren’t we all doctors or somethin’? *lights up* In summary, how great is this? Who’s ya friend? Wanna hang out? 

Batmobile: *screeches to a halt in front of us*

Batman [to us]: *rolls window on driver’s side down* Get in. Now.

Nightwing: *on the passenger side* Come on, guys, we’re on a tight schedule. Hey, Harley!

Harley Quinn: *cheerfully* Hey there, handsome!

Robin: *in the backseat, opens the door* Now. We still have to pass by for Drake. It’s gonna take a while to wake him up.

Batman: *narrows his eyes and clears his throat* Harleen. 

Harley Quinn: Wha– *throws her hands up in exasperation, pouts, and moves a few inches away from thepoolofthedead* Ya happy now, Bats? Or do ya need to get a measuring stick to make sure I’m six feet away from ya kid?

Batman: Hrn. I told you, until that vaccine comes out of Wayne Enterprises R&D, I don’t want you near my children. Who knows what you’ve been touching.

Harley Quinn: *grins suggestively* Well, you do.

Batman: *grunts* Go home. And stay there. *proceeds to roll window up*

Harley Quinn: In case you haven’t noticed, Bats, I’m immune to most types of – *voice gets drowned out* 

Batman: *tosses a Wayne Tech-grade disinfectant at us and activates the Batmobile’s air sterilization system*

Nightwing: *dialing Tim’s number* Alfred is gonna be pissssed. I already got, like, four missed calls. We’re gonna get schooled. Over Dinner. Again.

Robin: *narrows eyes at thepoolofthedead* New perfume, Todd

Me [to thepoolofthedead]: *whispering* So, uh, should you tell ‘em or should I?

~ ~ ~ 1 hour later ~ ~ ~

Red Hood: *revving up his motorcycle and on the Comm Link* On the way, Alf! Just had to pick up some surgical masks from this supplier I know and drop it off at the Gotham Children’s Hospi– What do you mean I just ate?

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Scarecrow:  Injects zombies with fear toxin to see if there’s a reaction.

Riddler: Uses his robot army to fight the thousands of zombies above ground while he hides in a bunker below the city, perfectly safe.

Killer Croc: Eats the zombies

Two-Face:  Leads the resistance against the zombie apocalypse

Penguin:  Funded the zombie outbreak

Mad Hatter: Probably the first to become infected tbh

Catwoman: Humans are doomed. Save the cats.

Poison Ivy: Fights off the horde with her plants 

Harley Quinn:  Tried to kiss a zombie because it was cute

The Joker: Tried to fuck a zombie because it was cute

Mr. Freeze: Uses the zombie blood to try and reverse engineer a cure

Firefly: Fires around the Gotham skies with a flamethrower, setting hordes of zombies on fire.

Man-Bat:  Thanks to his scientific research, he is able to become a zombie with real consciousness and control.

Clayface: Transforms into a zombie using his clay powers and walks among them for funsies

Bane: Uses his strength to punch the zombies to death 

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There was this one brilliant “Texts from Superheroes” where I don’t remember who it was were talking about how Gotham villains are all doctors and scientists and that “for a crime ridden city we are very well educated”. But all those villains are also mentally ill, as we know. All except one - Selina Kyle. Not only is she the only one who never goes to Arkham, but she is also the only one who doesn’t have any degrees (I think? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I couldn’t find any indication that she does). So… is it the student loans debts? Is that why everyone who goes to college in Gotham loses their mind? Because I can understand that.

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Ok, this is something I had in my head today: I imagined Harleen and Arthur walking together in the night (Arthur after being in the hospital with Penny and Harleen after a day of work in Arkham) and she has to buy something or talk to someone inside a store/cafe (Idk maybe a coworker from Arkham?) and Arthur waits outside. He looks around and sees a woman in an alley being harassed by some guys, so, he goes to them and tells them to stop doing that. They approach him, (the woman runs away) and start beating him while insulting him. Harleen realizes that Arthur is not outside, so she starts looking for him until she found him in the alley being kicked by these morons, so she calls their attention and starts beating the shit out of these guys. They escape later, she helps him to stand up. Gladly, it wasn’t severe, still she goes to her apartment with him to cure his wounds. Arthur thanks her for saving him and says he was impressed by they she hit those men while looking at her…

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