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texaschainsawmascara · 1 year

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Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man

#me and who #harley davidson and the marlboro man #mickey rourke #don johnson #90s #movie #film #harley davidson & the marlboro man #harley davidson #marlboro man #marlboro #motorcycle #motorcycles #action #thriller #giancarlo esposito #me & who #me n who

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i-j0s · 5 months

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#harley davidson and the marlboro man #harley davidson #motorcycles #movie #90's #90s #biker #action movie #road #mickey rourke #don johnson

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k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9 · 9 months

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Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991) American neo-Western biker film starring Mickey Rourke and Don Johnson and directed by Simon Wince

#Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man #1991 #90s #90's #Harley Davidson #Mickey Rourke #Marlboro Man #Don Johnson #Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991)#American neo-Western biker film

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90smovies · 9 months

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#Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man #Mickey Rourke #Don Johnson #Simon Wincer #Don Michael Paul #90s

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wardenmop · 7 months

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Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man

#Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man #Don Johnson #Mickey Rourke #wardenmop-art

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yodeleyewho · 1 month

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never knew I needed the cowboy x biker pairing until I watched Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man

#can we all just agree that Harley and Marlboro were exes at some point #don johnson #mickey rourke #harley davidson #harley davidson and the Marlboro man

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misswarmnights · 1 year

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Soothed After A Bad Dream

Fandom: Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man

Summary: Jimmy comforts his big teddy bear brother-in-law Jack after he has a nightmare.

Characters: Jack Daniels, Jimmy Jiles

Word Count: 1,299

Jack woke up from his nightmare in a cold sweat. He sat up, alone in his bed, hyperventilating and shaking in fear. He looked over at his wife’s side of the bed. She wasn’t there. Lulu was away from home visiting her mother. Jack was alone in the dark bedroom. The only sounds were his pounding heart and heavy breathing. He put on boxer shorts and went down to the kitchen to get a drink of water. He sat down at the table with his glass of water, trying to calm himself down.

Lulu’s brother, Jimmy, was staying over while Lulu was away. He had been asleep on the couch but was awoken by the noise when Jack came down. He went to the kitchen to check on Jack.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jimmy asked, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

“I had a bad dream,” Jack said softly.

Jimmy came over, yawned, and sat down next to Jack. “Want to talk about it?”

As Jack thought about his bad dream, his eyes filled with tears. Jimmy could NOT BEAR to see Jack cry.

“Damn it, Jack. Please don’t do that.”

“Sorry,” Jack said, wiping away the tears.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Jimmy said gently. “But there’s really nothing to cry about. It was just a dream.”

Jack sniffled and wiped his runny nose on his arm. “It was horrible.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He began to talk about his dream, his deep voice trembling as he spoke.

“I dreamed that Lulu left me for another man. She said that she didn’t love me anymore. A bunch of people started laughing at me. They threw rocks at me and hit me in my head, chest, and tummy, but my broken heart hurt worse than anything else.” Jack paused for a moment to inhale a shaky breath before continuing.

“Then all of my friends said they hated me and that I would be alone forever. I took my knife and started to slice open my own throat…and then I woke up.”

“Oh man,” Jimmy said, his dark eyes full of pity.

Jack couldn’t hold back any longer. His eyes squeezed shut, his lip trembled, and the tears leaked from his sweet eyes.

“Hey,” Jimmy said, patting Jack’s arm comfortingly. “There’s nothing to cry about.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I feel like such a baby,” Jack whined, roughly wiping the tears off his cheeks. He felt ashamed of himself for making such a fuss. “It’s pretty silly to cry over bad dreams.”

“You had a nightmare. It’s okay to be scared, but you know that nightmares have nothing to do with reality,” Jimmy explained to him. “Lulu loves you, and I know that she would never leave you. I mean, I know that she can be a pain sometimes, but she really does love you. You should hear the way she brags about you.”

“She does?”

“Of course. She loves to tell everyone about her big, strong, wonderful husband. There are lots of people who care about you so much…including me. I love you, Jack.”

Jack smiled. “I love you, too.”

Jimmy hugged Jack.

“Nobody is going to hurt my favorite brother-in-law. Not on my watch,” Jimmy said.

“Thanks,” Jack said.

Jimmy patted Jack gently on his back. “Now let’s try to get some sleep, okay?”

“I’m not ready to go back to sleep yet,” Jack said, anxiously picking up his glass of water and taking a sip. His huge hands started to tremble again as he feared more nightmares in his future.

“That’s okay,” Jimmy said, soothingly. “I’ll stay up with you until you’re ready. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Jack thought about it. “When I was a kid, Mom used to make me hot chocolate when I couldn’t sleep.”

Jimmy looked over at the stove. “Do you want me to make you some?”

Jack considered, but he shook his head. “No, you don’t have to do that.”

“Listen, Jack. When you go back to sleep, try to think about happy things. Think about the good times that you and Lulu had together. Think about the good times that we’ve had with our buddies. Think only happy thoughts.”

“Okay, I’ll try that.”

“Think about anything that makes you happy. You could think about drinking beer and whiskey, eating an ice cream sundae, going to the beach, having a picnic…”

“Being tickled,” Jack added, a red blush on his cheeks.

Jimmy chuckled. “Yes, I know you like to be tickled.”

Jack looked down for a moment, biting his lip. Then he looked at Jimmy with puppy dog eyes.

“Uh, Jimmy? I think some tickling might make me feel better. Umm, would you…”

“No, Jack. I will not tickle you,” Jimmy said firmly.

Jack made a sad face.

Jimmy rolled his eyes and sighed. He just had to give in. “Oh, alright, you win. But…please don’t tickle me back.”

“Okay, I won’t. Promise.” Jack smiled excitedly.

Jimmy came over and tickled Jack in his ribs, causing him to laugh loudly. He squirmed and slid out of his chair onto the floor. Jimmy stopped tickling and waited for Jack to get back into his seat.

“Lift up your arm,” Jimmy ordered.

“I can’t!” Jack said with a nervous giggle.

“You asked for this.”

“Okay…”

Jack raised his arm and let Jimmy’s finger tickle his armpit.

“HAHAHAHA!” Jack laughed, slamming his arm back down. “Stop, that tickles!”

Then Jimmy tickled the back of Jack’s neck and made him squeal with more laughter. His squirms and joyful laughs turned his plump cheeks rosy red.

Jimmy was glad that he decided to tickle Jack. It was worth it to see that big, happy smile on Jack’s face.

“There, that’s enough,” Jimmy said, patting Jack on the shoulder. “Now I think it’s time to get our asses back to bed. What do you say?”

Jack smiled and nodded yes. He was feeling better now. “Thanks for everything, Jimmy.”

“No problem, but I still don’t understand how you enjoy being tickled. I can’t stand it!” Jimmy said with a shudder.

Jack became curious about something. “Hey, Jimmy, what is your most ticklish spot?”

“I’m not telling you that!” Jimmy said, startled. “No way. That’s private.”

“Oh, come on. You can trust me. Where are you most ticklish?”

“I won’t tell you.”

“I’m just curious. Tell me!”

“No.”

Then Jack yawned. “Actually, I am kind of sleepy. I think it is time to go to bed.”

“Have good dreams this time,” Jimmy said.

“Thanks again,” Jack said.

They hugged and said goodnight to each other. Then Jimmy went back to sleep on the couch, and Jack went back upstairs to the bedroom.

Jack got into bed and pulled the blanket up to his beard. He closed his eyes and let his mind drift off to a happy place. He remembered his childhood and those sleepless nights spent bonding with his mother over delicious hot chocolate. He remembered the day that he and Lulu got married. The day he and Lulu went to the beach, he got buried in the sand, and she tickled his feet. He remembered the day he and Jimmy looked through an old photo album and then shared yummy ice cream. The day Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man returned to the Rock N’ Roll Bar and Grille and they had a play fighting match and a nice reunion. He thought about those big burps he would let out after a great beer, and that thought made him chuckle. He thought about something that he wanted for Christmas.

Sweet, beautiful dreams welcomed Jack as he fell asleep, knowing that he was loved.

The End

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doesnotloveyou · 11 months

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annoyed by the bad rep of "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro man" I love this stupid movie what is wrong with critics man this movie is hilarious I'm having fun

#harley davidson and the marlboro man #don johnson #Alec Baldwin holding a gun to someone's head aged poorly #And only the skinny white guys make it #But other than that this is some stupid fun #is it an objectively bad movie?#maybe #but is it making me reevaluate other movies that are bad?#Yes

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watching-pictures-move · 1 year

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Movie Review | Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (Wincer, 1991)

Action movies have certainly gotten by the sheer coolness of their heroes. And when you have Mickey Rourke and Don Johnson in the leads, that seems like a natural choice. But unfortunately this proves to be a fatal choice here, as the movie fails completely at approximating any real semblance of cool. Not even a pale shadow. Not even a Road Runner style dust cloud. Cool is not present in the movie. Cool is not within a hundred miles of this movie. "Better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool," characters say multiple times during this movie, and by the end of it, we're left wondering if they even know what any of those words even mean.

Now, potentially you get off to a good start when Mickey Rourke walks into a gas station and beats the hell out of a bunch of robbers so he can buy gas from Kelly Hu. But then Johnson shows up and gets in a fight in a bar over a game of pool. And then Rourke gets in a fight in a different bar with a guy whose wife he once slept with. Bar fights were lame when they popped up in biker movies in the '60s, they're lame in 1991 when the movie was made, they're lame now, and they're lame in the terrifying future of 1996 in which this film is set, a world exactly like the one in 1991 but instead of the crack epidemic we have a sleeker, designer supercrack being trafficked by a bank. The crux of the plot is that Rourke and Johnson and a bunch of their amigos, including the guy who Rourke cucked, decide to rob said bank to save their beloved bar in which Rourke got in the fight and caused hundreds in damages, even though we get zero sense of actual affection these characters might have for the establishment, certainly not to the extent to justify a bank robbery, and it's something we have to take at face value.

Unfortunately, the boys end up not with the money they were hoping for, but a shipment of the supercrack that the evil banker played by Tom Sizemore wants back, so he sends a team of Matrix-coat-wearing assassins led by a Baldwin brother after our heroes. In between, Rourke and Johnson bitch at each other, lamely wax poetic about how cool they are, and ride around on motorcycles. (Without helmets, I should add. You know what's cool? Road safety.) I can appreciate an action movie opting for hangout vibes, if it was fun at all to hang out with the characters, but the movie has the aura of a desperate middle aged man trying to regain his mojo by buying a leather jacket. Doesn't matter how much he spent on it, the flop sweat on his brow gives away his irreparable lameness. Rourke and Johnson are obviously charismatic actors, but the dearth of characterization they have to work with does them in.

Now, this was made when these things were still shot on film, so it is nice enough to look at and has some attractive magic hour lighting, but if I wanted a buddy action movie with magic hour lighting from 1991, The Last Boy Scout exists and doesn't suck ass. And add to that a lot of really lame action, all in linear movements with the bad guys walking towards and shooting at the heroes in a straight line, with nothing interesting in the way of geography or gimmickry. Now there is a last minute bit involving a helicopter piloted by Robert Ginty that's sort of fun, but this is the rare case where cool helicopter shit does not automatically make for a good movie. Awful stuff.

#film #movie review #harley davidson and the marlboro man #simon wincer

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texaschainsawmascara · 4 months

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