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Supreme Fam as Various John Mulaney Quotes
Stephen: I'll keep all my emotions right here and then one day I'll die
Also Stephen: I look back on being 17 and think, 'Oh my God, how did I not die?'
Peter, about MJ: I have a girlfriend now myself, which is weird because I’m probably gay based on the way I act and behave
Tony: I grabbed it, drank all of it, and said, ‘It’s perfume.’ And it w a s
Peter: My vibe is like, 'hey you could probably pour soup in my lap and I’ll apologize to you'
Harley: Sometimes, babies will point at me, and I don't care for that shit at all
Christine, the voice of reason: No one cared what I thought
Harley: I think Emily Dickison is a lesbian
Stephen: Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
Stephen: I will pepper in the fact that I am gay
Peter: I look like I was just sitting in a room in a chair eating Saltines for like 28 years and then I walked right out here
Peter: Ooh, ducklings!
Tony: My Dad loved me. He just didn’t care about my general happiness or self-esteem
Tony to Peter and Harley: You are never too young to learn our national 'no snitching' policy
183 notes · See All

If I had DS: ITMoM my way, I would…

1. Instead of Scarlet W*tch, I’d have Peter Parker, Spider baby.

2. Bring Christine Palmer back (rumours says she wont appear on screen, but until then im not sure).

3. Resolve conflict with Mordo or see what the fuck happened at the end of DS (2016).

8. *distant chanting* Doctor Dad, Doctor Dad, Doctor Dad, Doctor Dad, Doctor Dad, Doctor Da-

4. For some reason (and dont shit on me for this), I’d rather have Illyana than Clea. Plus I’d Illyana as Sorcerer Supreme.

5. SUPREMEFAMILY + The MagicFam and IronFam.

6. More Cloak screen time and interaction.

7. Give Wong a raise for having to deal with Stephen’s suicidal and reckless ass.

9. Doctor Dad and Spiderson angst please.

10. Stephen destroying Jake Gyllehaal’s ass please.

11. *distant chanting* Doctor Mom, Doctor Mom, Doctor Mom, Doctor Mom, Doctor Mom, Doctor Mo-

12. Harley Keener.

13. Please let Rhodey and Wong meet. Let them rant about their respective dumbasses.

14. Suprise, Tony is not actually dead. He’s been hiding in Stephen’s closet and has been fucking each other for the last 10 months.

15. Bird Uncle and Winter Soldier White Wolf Uncle.

16. Shuri and the gang.

17. MJ MJ MJ MJ MJ MJ MJ

18. Ned Ned Ned Ned Ned Ned

19. Flash’s ass handed back to him.

20. Wedding of Tony Stark and Stephen Strange.

21. “Tony Strange-Stark”

22. “But like… Tony Stark-Strange sounds bettter”

23. “Shut the fuck up, Tony”

24. Baby Morgan please.

25. A HAPPY ENDING bc God Knows how much we need it after the whole Endg*me fiasco.

26. Roll credits..

27. After credits… Alternative Universe where Stephen and Tony are the villain and had already wreak havoc on the entire city for the 20th time in 3 days and the Avengers are losing their shit bc how the fuck do they keep on destroying their asses?

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Summary: Vision remembers a previous encounter with Beck.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20323687/chapters/56288515

Once back at the Hotel, after first explaining to Ned that MJ knew Peter was Spider-Man, and introducing him to Harley, the teens quickly formed a plan of action.

“Everyone knows what they’re supposed to do, right?” asked Peter, a little nervous, once he was fully suited up. He had really messed up big this time. “I go warn Mr. Fury and Agent Hill about Mysterio..”

“MJ and I will cover for you with Mr. Harrington and Mr. Dell” added Ned, while MJ nodded.

“And I’ll go find out what hospital Wanda got taken to and warn her and Vision” Harley finished.

“Huh?” MJ’s brow crinkled, confused. “I thought The Vision was dead..”

Due to her head wound, the Hospital chose to keep Wanda in overnight for observation. Vision, in his human disguise to avoid any unnecessary panic in a hospital already full of panicking people, waited by her bedside the entire time, trying, and failing, to make her relax.

“We have to get out of here, Vision!” Wanda argued. “We have to get back to Peter, and Harley! Who knows what rahat Beck could be.. ” She tried to get up, almost immediately feeling dizzy. “Whoa..”

“Careful..” Vision gently pushed her back down onto the bed, pressing a kiss to the bandage that now covered her wound. “I’m worried about them too. But you won’t be much good to them while you have a concussion. You need to rest, Wanda. Even if it’s just for a few hours.”

“I know..” Wanda huffed, relenting, albeit reluctantly so. “It’s just frustrating, not being able to do anything..”

“Peter and Harley are both smart boys. I’m sure they can handle themselves for a little while” Vision held Wanda’s hand, hoping to distract her from her frustrations. “Tell me about MJ. Peter definitely seems besotted with her..”

“Like I said, she seems like a nice girl.. Brave, too” Wanda managed a small smile. “She dragged me out of harm’s way when I was unconscious.”

“Then I think I already like her” Vision smiled back.

Harley was becoming frustrated. As it turned out, finding Wanda and Vision was a lot more difficult than he had anticipated when he’d agreed to the task. Throughout the night and into the next morning, he streets of Prague were packed with people, probably gossiping excitedly about the events of the previous evening. Well, Harley assumed that’s what they were talking about since it was the only street-packingly interesting thing to happen recently, but very few of them were speaking English and so he couldn’t be sure.

He also couldn’t ask them for directions to the nearest Hospital.

To make things even worse, his Iron Legion droids were out of power, so Harley couldn’t use them to track his new friends/mentors.

Peter was probably already in Berlin by now meeting with Fury, and Ned and MJ were on a plane headed for London, so he couldn’t turn to them for help either.

Just after Noon, right when Harley was beginning to feel completely and utterly useless, to believe he wasn’t worth being Tony’s Plan D let alone Plan B, he finally located the Hospital.. Conveniently, just as Vision and the recently discharged Wanda walked out through the exit.

“Oh Thank God!” Harley exclaimed the moment he saw them.

“Harley!” cried Vision, a bit puzzled, but relieved to see his little brother. “I thought You would still be at the Hotel.”

"It’s good that you’re here” Wanda began. “Listen..”

“You guys need to be really careful of..” Harley added.

“Beck!” All three finished in unison.

“Wait” Harley was puzzled. “How did you guys know what Beck was planning?”

“Noi nu” said Wanda, before remembering that Harley couldn’t understand Sokovian, and translating herself for his benefit. “We didn’t. We suspected he was up to something, and my ‘accident’ during the battle was clearly not actually an accident, but we don’t know any exact details.”

“However, it seems like you do” Vision looked at the boy. “Tell us what you know, Harley.”

“Right. Finding you guys took a bit longer than I thought, so we should probably keep moving while I explain..”

So, as the reunited Children Of Iron made their way through the crowded streets of Prague, Harley launched into the explanation of everything he had discovered with Peter and MJ the night before, and Peter’s mistake in handing control of E.D.I.T.H to Beck.

Wanda’s expression became increasingly grim throughout the story. Vision’s did as well, but for a slightly different reason. Something about all of this, the holograms Beck was using seems familiar. His brow furrowed, trying to grasp the memory fully as it hovered at the edge of his mind..

“Where’s Peter now?” Wanda asked Harley, too focused on the boy’s story to notice Vision’s struggle.

“He was going to Berlin to warn Mr. Fury and Agent Hill about..”

“B.A.R.F!” Vision suddenly shouted, causing a few passersby to give the trio quite a wide berth.

“No, Beck..” said Harley, confused.

“Are you feeling sick, Vizh?” Wanda frowned, equally puzzled by her fiance’s sudden outburst.

“No. I guess Tony never did come up with a better acronym..”

“For what?” asked Wanda.

“B.A.R.F” Vision repeated, causing another mass exodus of people from their general vicinity. “Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing. I remember now.. I met Beck once, briefly. He worked for Stark Industries, and he invented the framework for holographic illusions. Tony used it for therapeutic purposes, revisiting old memories.”

“I remember when he went to present that” Wanda realised. “You mentioned it to me, because you were coordinating his schedule at the time, while he and Pepper were on a break just before..” she trailed off awkwardly.

“Before the Accords” Vision finished sombrely. “Beck was upset because he thought Tony was wasting the potential of his program.. Tony fired him for being unstable.”

“We have to go help Peter, then” said Harley, suddenly determined. “If Beck is really as crazy as he sounds, he could be in big trouble.”

“You’re right” Wanda agreed. “We’ll head for Berlin as soon as we..”

They were interrupted when Vision’s cellphone rang. Vision jumped, forgetting he’d even had the thing, then checked the caller I.D and answered.

“Happy, hello..” He paused, listening. “No, we’re still in Prague why would we.. Peter is where?!..” Wanda and Harley shared concerned looks. “You’re going to get him? Good, we’ll meet you there..” Vision disconnected the call, and Wanda looked at him questioningly.

“What was that about?”

“Forget Berlin. We’re going to the Netherlands.”

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image
The Hoodie Borrower
Chapter 10: Peter’s Hoodie

Read it on AO3 here.

Summary: Harry is stirring up some trouble, but it’s all for Peter’s well-being… and maybe a bit for his amusement.

- - - -

“I’ll face my fear of the evening
Once I get used to this feeling
I can’t sleep
That’s when you’re torn away from me
While I’m dreaming I feel you leaving

I’ll face my fear of the sunrise
When I wake up with your hand inside mine 
It’s hard to say good morning
When it’s followed with goodbye…”

~Eyelids - Pvris

- - - -

Keep reading

3 notes · See All
Stephen: What do you think you’re doing?
Harley: Well, I was gonna put this bottle rocket into this carton of eggs, so that when I lit off the bottle rocket, the eggs would explode everywhere.
Stephen: Oh, well, that’s very interesting. And what brought you to this experiment?
Harley: Well… you know how I’m filled with rage? I’m so horny and angry all the time… and I have no outlet for it. So… eggs.
145 notes · See All
s-horneAnswer
c27 for the dialogue prompts?

“Dad, please. Please just take something. Sleep. Here, take – Dad, this is–”

“No.” Tony thrashed against the nurse’s hold on his arm but kept his eyes on Harley’s face, flickering over him as though taking stock of every single line, every freckle. “No, I won’t. Don’t – get off me!”

Harley sighed deeply, worry etched all over his face. Meeting the eyes of the nurse over his dad’s body, he lifted his shoulders in resignation.

“Dad, please,” he tried again. “You need rest. You need these meds.”

“I won’t.” Tony’s voice betrayed the pain he was in. “I won’t leave you.”

“You aren’t leaving me, Dad,” Harley said desperately, ducking down by Tony’s bedside. He was almost on his knees to be level with his dad, hands hovering over Tony’s jerking body as he tried not to touch any of his injuries. “Please–”

“Not until you’re safe. You need to be safe.”

Harley swallowed back tears. His dad’s voice was almost a gasp, raspy and broken. It wasn’t his dad at all and Harley hated it as much as he hated the bandages wrapping Tony’s body.

“You’re hurt, Dad. Take the – let her help you. Please. The nurses are here to help you.”

“Not leaving you.”

“No, you’re not!” Harley said as soothingly as he could. “You’re not leaving me, I promise. I’m okay. It’s you that isn’t.”

“Won’t.” Tony let out a loud cry and ripped his arm from the nurse at his side, cradling it against his chest. “Not, ouch, not going. Need to be here. Not on your own.”

The nurse looked at Harley and shook her head. “I’ll have to sedate him, Sir. He needs to rest. This is only aggravating his injuries.”

“I can, shit.” Harley ran a hand down his face with a sharp exhale. “Give me a minute, please. Is there somewhere I can make a call? I’ll find out how far away they are.”

“Sure,” the nurse said kindly. She rested a hand on Tony’s arm and pulled it away from the cut on his chest, forcing Tony onto his side and trying to calm him down. “End of the hallway, please.”

“Right.” Turning back to Tony, Harley placed a hand on his neck, the only part with no visible injuries. “Dad, I’m coming back. It’s okay. I promise.”

Keep reading

76 notes · See All
Harley: And there I was in the back of the car yelling 'McDonald's McDonald's McDonald's!' and Dr. Dad pulls the car into the drive through, I'm cheering like a feral wild cat back there, and he only orders one black coffee and drives away from the McDonald's.
Tony: ...I think that's a John Mulaney sketch
Harley: it's a fucking metaphor for my childhood Dad shut up and listen
185 notes · See All

Tony: I can’t keep doing this! I’m not your mother!
Harley: Well…
Peter: You do exhibit pretty motherly behavior, Mr. Stark. 
Harley: Yeah, I mean, my dad abandoned me, and Peter’s parents died in that plane crash, plus his uncle was shot. 
Peter: Planes are fast, but bullets are faster. 
Harley: So you’re like our team mom. 
Peter: *chanting* Team Mom! Team Mom! Team Mom! 
Tony: I’m not the Team Mom! 
Harley and Peter: Team Mom! Team Mom! Team Mom! 
Morgan: Team Mom! Team Mom! Team Mom! 
Tony: Morgan why are you chanting? I’m your dad, and you have a mom. 
Morgan: It was a catchy chant. 
Tony: …
Peter: …Team Mo–
Tony: One more chant and there won’t be juice pops after dinner! 

270 notes · See All

Stephen: oh to be in bed with the love of my life, dozing off with no alarms set for tomorrow.

Tony: *snores into Stephen’s shoulder*

Stephen, tearing up: that’s the shit i like to see.

185 notes · See All
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