#harry potter fake quotes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frenchdrarry · 2 years

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Draco, après trois mois de relation : Qui a mangé mon gâteau ?

Harry : Euh…désolé ?

Draco : D’accord, ce n’est pas grave.

Draco, après un an de relation : Qui a mangé la dernière part de tarte ?!

Harry : C’est moi. Oups.

Draco : Je vais te fracasser, Potter !

Draco, après deux ans de relation : Qui a mangé mes biscuits ?

Harry : Je crains être le coupable.

Draco : D’accord. Je vais aller en racheter immédiatement.

Draco, plus tard, à Pansy : IL A MANGÉ LES BISCUITS !!!

Pansy : Je ne vois pas toujours pas pourquoi tu as acheté le rayon complet de biscuiterie.

Draco : S’il les aime, je vais acheter le stock du pays entier ! Il doit grossir, Pansy, tu comprends ? Cet idiot OUBLIE de manger ! Il OU-BLIE !

Hermione, à l’arrière-plan: Je t’ai déjà parlé de la technique du petit Poucet ? C’est Ron qui l’a mise au point, ça consiste à laisser de la nourriture dans toutes les pièces de telle sorte que…

Pansy : Mais dans quoi me suis-je embarquée ??

#drarry #harry potter #drarryfr #draco malfoy #frenchdrarry #harry potter x draco malfoy #potterxmalfoy #harry x draco #harryxdrago #harry potter fake quotes #harry/draco

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machiavellli · 5 months

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If the slytherins had socials…part IX

<- part VIII

-> part X

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you-cant-be-sirius · 8 months

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no judgement to james and to those who cannot parallel park, i don't even drive, so you're already better than me

#harry potter #marauders #marauders era #marauders fandom #sirius black #sirius o black #sirius orion black #james potter #james f potter #james fleamont potter #padfoot #prongs #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #mwpp #mwpp era #incorrect marauders quotes #incorrect quotes #fake tweets

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opheliablackpotter · 23 days

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How I imagine James' birthdays at Hogwarts:

(read all and bonus to be emotionally destroyed :))

1st year-chill, pleasant evening with the rest of the marauders near the Great lake. They enjoyed throwing empty packages of chocolate frogs at others :D

2nd year-hilarious day he spent by flying on his new broomstick outside and inside of Hogwarts. Not to forget that he flew into dinner in the Great hall while Sirius was setting off the fireworks.

3rd year-mister Potter, now officially a teenager, celebrated this bday by buying things for pranks in Hogsmade and ended up crying in Remus' lap because Lily didn't respond to all his efforts to impress her by annoying Snevilus.

4th year-THIS IS SOMETHING BIG GUYS. First there was big, not allowed Quidditch match and after match party in Gryffindor room because Gryffindor will, of course, win. (at least Dumbledore would think so)

5th year-everyone is worried about Voldy and death eaters. This year he wanted a bit of privacy (BUT not without the rest of the marauders) and they were all day in the Room of requirement . Don't get me wrong, they had nice time, but Remus had heard something about werewolves cooperating with Death Eaters, Pettigrew was either in a panic or telling horrible jokes about house elves and ghosts, and Sirius was off the whole time because he was worried thinking about his little brother. Sirius denied it, but ever since he left him, he feels guilty. Now that Voldy wants new followers and the support of noble houses, maybe something will happen in a few years. Who knows :( ? Of course, the night ended with drinking a little too much firewhisky.

6th year-James spent whole day lying on Regulus' bed and trying to convince Regulus they will find a way to save him from Dark lord.

7th year-he invited some Gryffindor friends to the Three Broomsticks and they talked about Dumbledore and some of the students who don't go to Hogwarts anymore because they are probably Death Eaters. He spent the rest of the night crying over a special and handsome Slytherin who was no longer speaking to him and would soon be leaving Hogwarts.

*bonus: the day Reggie left, James was like a ghost. He was white, with a blank expression on his face. He tried not to stare too long at Sirius's dark curls and features. He spent that night in the Astronomical Tower, crying, calling out and looking only at one star.

The one star he, the greatest Gryffindor seeker, will never reach.

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jamespotterbbg · 1 day

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#this au is my life #harry potter marauders #marauders #marauders era #the marauders #marauders fandom #the marauders era #regulus black #incorrect marauders quotes #mary macdonald #marlene mckinnon #marauders fame au #fame au #marauders incorrect quotes #incorrect tweets #actor au #fake tweets

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lilacs-and-ladybugs · 1 year

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Harry: Kiss my ass!

Tom: I’ll fucking eat it.

#harry potter #voldemort #tomarrymort #tomarry #Harrymort #fake quotes #tom riddle #Tom Marvolo riddle

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badasgirlfriend · 8 months

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#harry potter #marauders #harry potter hogwarts game #incorrect harry potter quotes #harry potter twitter #harry potter tweets #ronald weasley #ron weasly #fake tweets #harry potter fake tweets #harry potter fanfiction

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marvelbreakfastclub · 2 years

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Incorrect Marauder's tweets be like

#incorrect quotes #incorrect marauders quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect twitter #fake twitter #fake tweets #peter pettigrew #remus lupin #sirius black #marauders #marauders era #harry potter #harry potter fandom

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moonybeam3 · 1 year

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Sometimes my yoga app just says the most unhinged things

#personal #yoga #Harry potter #for some reason?#also love that they list Wizard as if that’s his occupation #literally what is happening here #tell me this isn’t a quote I just don’t remember #it’s fake right #tell me it’s fake

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luxthestrange · 3 months

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MASHLE Incorrect quotes #2 Hairy potter

Sorcerer!Y/n*With a fake beard putting glasses on a rabbit that has a mark on its forehead and wearing a cute red and gold tie*...You're a wizard harry

Rabbit*Wiggling its nose cutely as it poses for you*

Sorcerer!Y/n*Giggling as you scratches it's head softly*...You're very hairy~

Rayne*Was going to kill whoever took one of his pet rabbits...only to find you with him*...Send me those pictures

Sorcerer!Y/n*Jumpscared from not hearing him* AAAAAH!?

#mashle #mashle x reader #mashle x y/n #mashle magic and muscles #sorcerer y/n #rayne ames #rayne ames x reader #rayne ames x y/n #mashle incorrect quotes #mashle fluff #incorrect quotes

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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WIBTA for reporting my sister’s teacher to the school admin?

Alright folks strap in this one’s a doozy. TLDR at the end.

My (19M) sister (17F) is a senior in high school and this year she’s taking AP English Literature and Composition (hereby abbreviated as ap lit). For my non American buddies, this is essentially the highest level English class in most public high schools. This is a notoriously difficult exam and my sister’s extremely nervous for it. However, her teacher (23F) is. Well. To put it bluntly, the most gen z #relatable tiktoker in the world. This is the first English class AND the first AP class she’s ever taught. The only other high school class she’s taught was physics (not even honors). Her only qualification to teach the class is that she got a 5 on the exam when she took it in high school.

She is demonstrably bad at her job. Her motivation to teach English this year was, quote: “Taylor Swift is SUCH a poet she’s one of the main reasons I wanted to be an English teacher” if that gives you the vibes. And yes, she spent two class periods making students analyze a Taylor Swift song.

To list some other offenses, she: encouraged the propagation of the Hellen Keller was fake conspiracy, recommended using Harry Potter as a resource for the AP lit exam (citing that it’s one of her favorite book series of all time), telling students she will not help them with college applications (despite this being a very common and expected thing for senior English teachers to do here), and telling students to watch the movie adaptations of recommended novels WITHOUT reading them, and then to use the Wikipedia summary to compare and contrast the two. She also regularly misspells things in class which is great for a language teacher.

And I wasn’t kidding about the tiktoker thing. That’s her main passion, posting outfit/makeup tiktoks. This includes doing it in her class about all her teachercore fits.

My sister complains about her constantly, and as someone who’s has to deal with seriously traumatic harassment from teachers in the past, my first reaction was that she should report her. However, the problem is, last time she caught a student complaining about her, she punished the whole class by making them take a ridiculously hard pop quiz because “her feelings were hurt”. A very responsible and adult reaction /s. So, my sister is worried that if I confront her or the administration, the class will be punished.

While I understand my sister’s fear, I just don’t think the teacher should be allowed to get away with her behavior. I understand that the teacher is young (she’s barely 4 years older than me!) and should be allowed to make mistakes, but starting off her English teaching career at the highest high school level of English classes. My sister is now having to seek additional tutoring because the class is massively under preparing her for the exam.

TLDR: My sister’s English teacher is really bad at her job and underpreparing her for a difficult national test. I want to tell the school about this behavior but my sister is worried that she’ll punish the class.

So, WIBTA if I reported her to the administration? And if so, people of tumblr do you have other ideas because I’ve hit a wall.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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machiavellli · 3 months

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If the slytherins had socials…part XVI

<- part XV

-> part XVII soon

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you-cant-be-sirius · 8 months

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making these is so fun and i find myself way too funny :D

#harry potter #marauders #marauders era #marauders fandom #sirius black #sirius o black #sirius orion black #james potter #james f potter #james fleamont potter #marlene mckinnon #padfoot #prongs #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #mwpp #mwpp era #incorrect marauders quotes #incorrect quotes #fake tweets

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mcrslover · 2 months

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MCR quotes for anyone who needs them:

"Kids would say they were going to kill themselves then they heard our music... it's our mission"

- Mikey Way.

...

"Reasons why mcr is good for you

juradsleigh:

Feeling like a rad vampire? Listen to bullets

Feeling angry? Listen to 3 cheers

Feeling sad? Listen to black parade

Feeling colourful and happy? Listen to danger days

Feeling like breaking up your band? Listen to death never stop you"

...

"This is for every kid out there... That dyed their hair a fucked up colour and can't get a job. They got a tattoo on their neck like Frank, and can't get a job. That does this because they fuckin' love this. This song is for every kid in the audience- even if you don't have fucked up hair or tattoos-every kid on stage, this song's about us, this song's about you, it's called The Kids From Yesterday."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Stop covering your children's eyes.

Everything is fucked up and pretending it's not won't make it any better. I'm tired of people praying for a change when it's up to them to get off their asses and make a change."

- Frank Iero.

...

"I spent most of my time in the back of the class, just drawing. My goal was to not get noticed in school, because spent so long not being noticed anyway or being treated as if I were invisible that I started to like it.

I've learned that it's actually not very lonely... It's like, you have less friends but the friends you have count more. I met a lot of people that weren't outsiders, or they were very popular, and they have a lot of friends but I don't know if they're the kinds of friends you would call up at 3 am to help you out or talk about being depressed."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Promise me, when MCR's gone, you'll do what it takes to survive. You're strong enough to do it without us."

- Gerard Way.

...

"All your quirks and all your problems, even your depressions, and your failures that's.. that's what makes you, you."

- Gerard Way.

...

"If you or someone you know is severely depressed you need to fucking talk to someone! Your mom, someone in school, I don't give a fuck! Because suicide is fucking bullshit."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Nothing is worth hurting yourself over, nothing is worth taking your life over"

- Gerard Way.

...

"If we never play another show again, just keep yourself alive."

- Gerard Way.

...

"We're outsiders, we're the kids who didn't get dates for the prom, we're the kids who were confused, who didn't fit in with the cliques, who weren't part of the in-crowd.

Growing up can be a very frightening and confusing time, and I think people look at us and see it's okay to be different. They see that there is a way other than what they're being offered. That you can stand out, that you can be creative, that you can be yourself."

- Gerard Way.

...

"gerard-hey:

I love MCR so much it's like they have a song for every situation. Feeling sad? Listen to The Lights Behind Your Eyes. Feeling frustrated? Listen to I'm Not Okay. Feeling Energetic? Listen to Na Na Na. Feeling like you wanna kick some ass? Listen to Destroya.

Feeling rebellious? Listen to Teenagers. Feel like you wanna break up your band? Listen to Fake Your Death."

...

"The difference we want to make is, number one, to let these kids know that they're not alone, that they're actually not that messed up, and that they can do whatever they want they can express themselves in any way they want without being persecuted or called a faggot or some kind of racist thing. Really just get people to get over their stuff so they can live."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Whatever happens to you, no matter what, l'm always fucking there for you... Don't forget that. I don't give a shit if your boyfriend dumps you. If your girlfriend dumps you. If you're working a shitty job or can't get through school. If you can't get through a fucking Harry Potter book, there's nothing worth dying over. There's nothing worth taking your life over. I will always fucking be there."

- Gerard Way.

...

"If you come to an MCR show, you're probably a little fucked up, and that's okay because we're just as fucked up as you. It's us against the world. And it's great because there's thousands of us in one place."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Someone doesn't like you? Fuck it.

Having a bad day? Fuck it. Didn't get that job, or that grade, or that promotion you wanted? Fuck it. Fighting with your lover? Fuck it. Feel fat today? Fuck it. Losing control of everything and everyone? Fuck it.

What matters now won't matter soon; the truly important thing is that you are alive, and that you have the capacity to do absolutely anything with this beautiful, crazy coincidence of being on this earth. Just stick your middle fingers in the air and think, 'Damn, I have it good."

- Gerard Way.

...

"You're going to come across a lot of shitty bands, and a lot of shitty people. And if anyone of those people call your names because of what you look like, or bedause they don't accept you for who you are. I want you to look right at that mother fucker, stick up your middle finger and scream

"FUCK YOU!!"

- Gerard Way.

...

"Real revenge is making something of yourself."

- Gerard Way.

❤️🖤❤️🖤

#emo #gerard way #frank iero #my chemical romance #alternative #quotes #mcr #mcrquote #emokids

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backtothefanfiction · 7 months

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Kinktober '23 | DAY 2: The Bet and the Costume Contest

Prompt: RolePlay

Summary: You enter into a bet with your couples costume contest partner.

Warnings: SMUT!! Roleplay, costumes, PinV, upskirt, frat!Peter

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: Day 2, here we go!!! I did watch Buffy as a kid but have yet to watch properly as an adult despite it being on my list of things to do but hopefully still reads okay. Also I just rushed the second half of this so apologies if the tense is messed up.

It was just your luck. Of course you would have been paired with him. It was Brianna’s fault really. She was the one who had come up with this whole idea of partnering with your Theta Beta Pi brothers to do a couples costume contest as part of this year's Halloween Bash. All the girls had put their names into a hat and each of the boys took turns picking a name out and of course you had been picked by Peter Parker. You had decided to go as Buffy and Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer or at least you thought you had until you turned up at the house in a mini skirt, wooden stake in hand and a bleached blonde, leather clad Parker, ran down the stairs and straight into you.

“THERE’S MY BUFFY!” he beamed.

“What did you do to your hair?!”

“I’m Spike. I thought it would be more fun. Plus I figured we’d be a shoe in to win due to my dedication alone.” He said pointing to his head.

“Oh my god!” You sighed, rolling your eyes.

As the night went on you had to admit, the blonde, although it did make him look quite sleazy, was actually quite hot. You also had to commend his dedication to the character and the bit as he kept shouting out Spike quotes the whole night. “AND YOU’RE WHAT? SHOCKED AND DISAPPOINTED? I’M EVIL!” He shouted when the two of you won at beer pong against a pair dressed as Mario and Princess Peach.

“Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea.” he said as he handed out drinks to your small congregated group as you sat sharing a joint in the garden.

“First I’ll kill her, then I’ll save her.” he said, wrapping an arm around you and dipping you over it as he showed off in front of his fraternity brothers.

“PETER!” You squealed.

“Peter? Who is this Peter? There’s no Peter here, my name is Spike.”

He had called you Buffy for the whole night too. “Where has my Buffy gone?” he would cry as he moved through rooms in the house looking for you. “BUFFY? Excuse me, have you seen the chosen one?” he asked one girl.

“What Harry Potter?” she responded. He just bared his fake fangs and hissed at her.

“Yo Parker!” One of his frat brothers, Josh, called to him across the room, directing him back to the group of you sat around the coffee table in the living room.

You budged up a little on the seat, giving him room to squeeze in beside you (he won’t sit anywhere else).

“So Parker, you’re pretty confident about winning this costume contest.” Josh said. He’s dressed up as Sonny, Alannah is somewhere else in the house dressed as Cher.

“I mean, yeah. Look at us man.” Peter shot back confidently.

“You willing to put a bet on it?” Josh taunted.

“Oh we are not winning.” You mumbled from your seat beside Peter. The only thing he’s got going for him is the hair, apart from that the two of you look basic compared to other costumes, there’s a really good Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein hanging around somewhere.

“Then you shouldn’t have any trouble with placing a bet then.” Josh drunkenly goaded.

“What and you think you’re gonna win?” You said back.

“Oh no, I know we aren’t going to win. I’m talking about you two. You know Parker’s always had a crush on Buffy.”

At Josh’s words Peter squirmed a little beside you but tried his best to hide it, eager to see how you’d react.

“Is that so?” You questioned.

“Yup!” Josh said confidently. “If you guys win, Parker gets his dream come true and gets to fuck Buffy.” He throws out.

“Fine. Deal.” Your drunken brain responded hastily. There’s no way you guys are winning. “Okay and what if we lose?”

“Okay, what do you want?” Josh asked on Peter’s behalf. He’s being uncharacteristically quiet for this whole exchange.

“If we lose the contest, which we will,” you reassure, “you guys have to bring a litre bottle of vodka to every party just for me, until the end of the year.”

“Deal.”

“And by end of the year I mean school year, not just Christmas break.”

Peter and Josh hesitate a sec but Josh is quick to solidify the deal, holding his hand out for you to shake. And that was how you ended up with Peter Parker tied to your bedframe with the tie from your bathrobe. You were sure it had to have been rigged, there really was no way you should have won.

“Peter, I feel silly.”

“Just go with it, I promise it’s all good.”

“Pete, I haven’t even seen that much of the show.”

“It’s vampires and magic and supernatural stuff, it’s all cool just, make it up.”

‘Fine’ you thought as you rolled your eyes.

“I’ve been checking Giles’s books and there's only one way to cure this type of evil.” you said as you began to slowly walk across the room to him. He gives you a devilish look and you have to admit, paired with the blonde hair it does make you weak in the knees.

He watches you closely as you come to a stop beside the bed. His eyes follow your fingers as you slide them up your legs and underneath your skirt, hooking your thumbs into your underwear and pulling them down your legs. He goes to frustratedly moan as you tease him but the moment his mouth is wide enough, you shove your panties into his mouth.

“UUUhhh FuuCK!” his voice mumbles into the fabric as his head lulls back.

You climb up onto the bed, hooking your leg over his hips to straddle him. You reach behind you for the stake, sitting at the end of his bed, running it down his chest. “You need to hold still okay. Do you trust me?” you asked him in character. He nodded.

When your hand trails down to undo his trousers he is hard and he whispers slightly as his sensitive tip brushes past the fabric of his boxers as you pull them down far enough to release him. You reach for a condom, rolling it down onto his length before you lift yourself to hover over him and slowly lower yourself onto his cock.

His eyes watch intensely as his length slips out of view underneath your skirt. With the way he’s looking at you, you have to admit, maybe you were getting more into this than you first thought you would. He moans as you ride his cock, grinding your hips down into his pelvic bone before lifting back off again, his skin dragging across your slit and it feels so good. His cock feels so good as he fills you out.

You know you told him to stay still but you don’t have it in you to punish him when he starts rolling his hips and thrusting up into you. You quickly realise though he’s close, his thrusts getting quicker as he chases his high. He mumbles words around your panties. You are reluctant to do it but you remove them from his mouth to hear what he has to say.

“Thank you.” he sighs first and just pants for a little bit between grunts as you continue to ride his dick, your walls tightening with every up lift before you slam your hips back down again.

“Fuck, fuck, yes Buffy. Fuck that evil out of me.” he says and if it wasn’t for the fact you were actually so close you would have just got off and left him hanging but you are so close now you want your own finish. “Lift your skirt, let me see.” he asks. You raise your eyebrows at him. “Please.” he quickly adds and you oblige lifting up the sides of your skirt so it sits above your hips. “Oh yeah.” he moans. “Touch yourself.” he says and you don’t know why but you do as he says, your fingers moving to rub circles over your clit.

It sends you over the edge and he cries out “OH FUCK!” as your walls clamp down around him.

You can feel his hips stutter, once, then twice, then he stills as you feel him fill the condom inside you.

He lets out a long sigh of relief as you begin to ease yourself off him. “What do you say, Parker?”

“Thank you Miss Summers.” You just roll your eyes.

------------------------

kINkToBEr taG LiST

you want the tag, you have to tell me in writing!

@jakobsdump @https-laiyana @tarzinnia

#kinktober 2023 #backtothefanfiction kinktober #peter parker smut #Peter Parker x reader #frat!peter #roleplay #buffy #costume contest #andrew!peter parker #peter parker #peter parker imagine #spider-man #frat!Peter x reader

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quote-tournament · 1 year

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First round, fourteenth fight

Quote number 27 :

"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people who do"

-Angus, Night in the Woods

VS

Quote number 28 :

wednesday is not only the greatest betrayal in television history but the most maddeningly trite, disturbingly vapid, and internally confused ideological train wreck I've ever had the deeply sorrowful displeasure of allowing to pass through my corneas may god have mercy on burton or whoever else was responsible while someone slapped his brand name on it, and on all of us who are fated to live in a world where something so culturally, socially, politically, and artistically noxious as this Mary-sue-lead, transparently TikTok-targeted, phone-worshipping, vaguely bigoted, backfired virtue-signaling, fake leftist capitalist "my immortal"-esque fanfic earns a second season through what I can only be explained as manufactured consent. something must be done about Netflix's Wednesday. This thing is a condescending insult, especially to young people, the socially conscious, and members of marginalized and """outcast""" groups (LiKe GoThS & ppL who CAN cONTroL BEEEEES) who genuinely suffer from what this thing hollowly masturbates to while looking us dead in the eyes and saying "yeah, you like that, don't you?" It is a Gatling gun of random buzzwords and empty references to social issues, grotesquely and impotently disguised and screaming "I'm commentary!" before pissing its pants, squealing like a pig, and at its most coherent offering nothing more than to demonize mental illness and make any marginalized identity out to be a mayonnaise-stained Hot Topic hoodie through Wiseau-ian dialogue, inappropriate "grittiness" for its source material and Harry Potter setting, and incessant hackery. I am shitting. I am pissing. I am standing over a warm bubble bath cradling a toaster and sobbing, chanting g-d's secret name and praying that there is indeed a hell so I can be eternally punished for having given this moral abomination one fraction of a fraction of a cent also it's not a good Addams family adaptation anyway let me know your thoughts in the poll below

-Will Wood, a YT Community Post

#this is the first round of the quotes #polls #quotes #angus #night in the woods #will wood #youtube community

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