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#harry potter incorrect quotes
harryjpotter-shitpost · 9 minutes ago
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Neville: Harry told me that instead of being sad, I should “go get it dude!” So I’m gonna go get it right now
Hermione: get what?
Neville: unclear. I’ll get everything just to be safe
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harryjpotter-shitpost · 18 minutes ago
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Harry: standing up and blacking out for a few seconds is just transitioning from a cutscene to the actual gameplay
Hermione: you fucker need to eat salt is what it means
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harryjpotter-shitpost · 22 minutes ago
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Harry: can we talk about the message you’ve sent to the D.A?
Ron: it was critical update
Harry: you took my coin and sent “Harry’s back on his bullshit”
Ron: well people need to know
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harryjpotter-shitpost · 29 minutes ago
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Harry: mike wazowski twerking is the same if he was nodding
Hermione, on the verge of a breakdown: for the love of Merlin’s pants, please stAwp
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harryjpotter-shitpost · 32 minutes ago
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Harry: music is just wiggling air
Hermione: don’t do this. Don’t do this to me today
Harry: and color is just wiggling light. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk
Ron: artists and musicians are just magicians of the wiggle
Neville: an artist best quality: their wiggles
Hermione: why has god FORSAKEN ME
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sorry-i-ship-drarry · an hour ago
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Harry : ron and Hermione so cute together . Fuck me if I'm wrong
Draco : you're supposed to say fuck me if I'm wrong first
Harry : I know I said it for a reason
Draco : * with tears in his eyes* you don't wanna fuck me
Harry :
* gets existential crisis *
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evitoxytrash · 2 hours ago
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Ted: SNAKES DON'T HAVE ARMS
Ted: THEY CAN'T GO BOWLING
Andromeda: fuck. There goes my snake bowling team, fuck this
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mischiefhasbeenmanaged · 4 hours ago
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Sirius: I will hurt you
Andromeda: And I will make it look like an accident
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adellovesrowan · 4 hours ago
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talbott: yeehaw or i will not seehaw you again
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I married my wife. I love saying ‘my wife,’ it sounds so adult. ‘That’s my wife.’ It’s great, you sound like a person.
-James
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naisha-lusthana · 5 hours ago
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Slytherpuff As Parents: Pt. 9
Baby: *gurgles, fists in their mouth*
Slytherin: *cradling their baby, whispering to it*
Hufflepuff: *smiles to themselves over coffee* What a great parent.
Slytherin: *whispers to baby* The heaviest penalty for declining to rule is to be ruled by someone inferior to yourself.
Baby: *gazes into the void*
Hufflepuff:
Hufflepuff: Babe, what are you teaching our child? -
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weasley-adoptee · 5 hours ago
Conversation
Tulip: *Walking around still disappointed, six hours after visiting an aquarium*
Badeea: What did you think a Tiger shark was, Tulip?
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harryjpotter-shitpost · 6 hours ago
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Professor Trelawney: you seem to use sarcasm to distance people
Harry: and yet you’re still here
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evitoxytrash · 6 hours ago
Conversation
Ginny: Hey, Luna. Wanna play Angry Birds?
Luna: I've never heard of that game. What is it?
Ginny: It's a video game where you launch birds at green pigs. I can -
Luna: *grabs an owl and throws it at Draco Malfoy*
Luna: Did I do that right?
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mooneytoast · 6 hours ago
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sirius: *gets down on one knee*
remus: oh my god, it’s finally happening.
sirius: *falls over*
remus: the poison is kicking in.
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