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#harry potter incorrect quotes
butterbeerkiss · 11 hours ago
Conversation
y/n: Stop messing with your tie
Fred: Ugh, fuck you
y/n gasps: Fuck me?
Fred: Alright. If you insist, darling *wink*
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maraudersxa · 22 hours ago
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Sirius: i’ll admit i’ve done a lot of things in my life that i’m not proud of.
Sirius: no, wait, that’s a lie. i’m proud of all of them.
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slycassini · 11 months ago
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Imagine this
*October 1981*
*Dumbledore gives everyone in the order veritaserum*: so, who's the spy?
Peter: me
James and Lily: *lives*
Sirius: *doesn't go to Azkaban*
Harry: *grows up with his parents*
Voldemort: *ded*
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nymphadorathebubba · 6 months ago
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McGonagall: Black and Potter did what?
Madam Pomfrey: Well, I told them they weren't allowed to see Mr. Lupin because he was still recovering from last night, and the only way they could stay was if they were injuried.
McGonagall: ...and?
Madam Pomfrey: So they punched each other in the face and told me they were injuried.
McGonagall: ...
Pomfrey:...
McGonagall: ...
McGonagall: well, I must admire their dedication.
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nextdoorgryffindor · a year ago
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DANCING QUEEN BY ABBA CAME OUT IN 1976 MEANING THE MARAUDERS WERE ALL TURNING SEVENTEEN LITERALLY THE SCHOOL YEAR AFTER THE SUMMER IT CAME OUT IN.
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hxuse-xf-black · a month ago
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Dumbledore: You must understand, Harry, that Professor Snape had a very terrible childhood.
Harry: I understand. I'm having a very terrible childhood right now.
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siriuslyblacksstuff · 4 months ago
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James: Hold on! I'm having one of those things... a headache with pictures.
Remus: What the fvck?
Sirius: He's having an idea.
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gryffidnorgranger · 9 months ago
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“Harry, no.”
-a book written by Neville Longbottom co-authored by Hermione Granger and Molly Weasley, introduction written by Remus Lupin, includes excerpts from the prequel “Harry, calm down.” written by Ginny Weasley.
Enjoy the feisty counter argument “HARRY, YESSSS” written by Ron Weasley
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chasegrangerkingdom · 9 months ago
Conversation
Bill: You say "please" and "thank you" in front of your younger siblings all the time and they never repeat it.
Bill: But when you say "fuck" ONCE—
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nymphadorathebubba · 5 months ago
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James: I know how to defeat you.
Regulus: Oh, this should be good.
James: You’re a nice person and you have a good heart.
Regulus: …Wait-
James: You are an excellent brother and a lot of people care about you!
Regulus: STOP-!
James: - YOU DESERVE TO HAVE GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU! (sounds of a struggle) AND YOU ARE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY!
Regulus: GET AWAY FROM ME!
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wingardiumhogwartsosa · a year ago
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Ron : Now that snape is DADA professor, who will teach potion?
Y/n : I heard it’s Gordon Ramsay
Ron : Who is that?
Hermione : Oh no!
Harry : We are screwed
Potion Class
Prof. Ramsay : COME HEREEE DONKEY! Look! What is this?
Draco : Dragon, sir
Prof. Ramsay : This fucking dragon is still raw it can still fly! Fuck Off!
Prof. Ramsay : FINNIGAN! YOU ARE BREWING IN A BURNING CAULDRON YOU FUCKING DICK!
Prof. Ramsay : WHERE IS THE LAMB SAUCE!?!?!?!?!?
Prof. Ramsay : YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU, FUCK OFF! AND ONE MORE THING, FUCK OFF!
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frooty-joos · a month ago
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James: why did you give Barty a knife?
Regulus: he felt unsafe
James: well now I feel unsafe
Regulus: I'm sorry
Regulus: would you like a knife?
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siriuslyblacksstuff · 6 months ago
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Cop: You're receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Sirius: Shit.
Remus: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah.
James: OH MY GOD PETER FELL OFF!!
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sky-is-the-limit · 20 days ago
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Wolfstar as ghost hunters
Remus: I think a ghost grabbed my ass
Ghost: It wasn't me, it was Sirius
Sirius: what the fuck dude
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prongsandprongslet · a year ago
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In the afterlife
Regulus: I heard Sirius is in Azkaban, is that true?
James: Yeah, for something he didn't do.
Regulus: What didn't he do?
James: Run fast enough.
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nymphadorathebubba · 5 months ago
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James: An apple a day, keeps the doctor away.
Remus: A book a day keeps reality away.
Sirius: An adventure a day, keeps boredom away.
Regulus: A murder a day, keeps idiots away.
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incorrect-drarry-quote · 3 months ago
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Harry: So. I’m in love with Draco.
Blaise: Draco?
Theo: Our Draco?
Harry: Mmmh yes? Thoughts?
Pansy: And prayers. Holy shit, dude.
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maraudersxa · a year ago
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Sirius: You want to see a butterfly?
James: Yes.
Remus: NO-
Sirius: [throws the butter across the table.]
James: Absolutely majestic.
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siriuslyblacksstuff · 11 months ago
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[ at the zoo ]
Sirius: So, what are you in for?
Remus: Padfoot, this isn't a prison.
Sirius: So they can leave?
Remus: Well, no but see--
Sirius: [points at a giraffe] I bet that one killed someone.
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chaoticbritishqueen · 8 months ago
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Golden Trio Headcannons:
Ron was the one who taught Harry how to tie his shoe laces, after he noticed Harry tucked his laces into his shoes. "No-one ever cared enough to teach me..." "I care enough."
Both Ron and Harry were with Hermione when she started her period for the first time. "I'm...BLEEDING" "Calm down, it's your period, its just the shock of it, My sister got hers last year." "should I get Mcgonagall-"
Ron is the only one of the 3 who regularly goes to breakfast, he tends to pack toast in his bag to give to Harry and Hermione because sometimes they forget or they just don't bother and IT WORRIES HIM-
Harry and Hermione have the same favourite book as a child. Matilda, both relate to the book in very different ways. "It just gave me hope, really, she discovered her magic and found someone who loved her." "Harry, you also found people who love you" "I know"
Harry memorised how ron and Hermione drink their tea. Ron dash of milk, lots of sugar. Hermione, lots of milk, 1 sugar. He makes the best cups of tea. "It's really a ghastly amount of Sugar Ron-" "Your tea is literally whiter than me, don't judge"
Ron bakes treacle tart and jam tarts for Harry and Hermiones birthdays.
Harry and Hermione were once mistaken for siblings, and neither of them corrected the person. "Yeah, she's my older sister" ron would never forget the smiles on their faces. Everytime Hermione would go back to that Cafe, they would always ask about her younger brother.
Hermione was also the first person to hug Harry since he was placed with the Dursleys when he was 1. Ron was the second person to hug him.
Harry used to leave change around Rons room when he knew he was a few sickles short of something he knew Ron wanted. Because Ron would never accept money from Harry. Ron never found out, but Hermione saw him do it one day. "Your secret is safe with me"
Ron and Hermione are the Godparents to Harry and Ginny's children. And vice Versa. (Exept Lily Luna, whose God Parents are Neville and Luna)
Harry has a photo album filled with photos of him and his friends, that made in 2nd year, that album starts with him and ron and hermione, and ends with him and his family together.
It was actually Hermione who taught Harry how to tie his tie for school, and she wouldn't let him get on the boat without "being in proper uniform. Just because your the boy who lived doesn't mean you can just not tie your tie."
Harry and Ron were eachothers best men.
Ron and Hermione sometimes purposely walk slowly, when Harry finally starts to open up, so that he has more time to talk and won't close back up when they near where they're going.
Harry and Ron carrying some of hermiones work for her in lessons they share, because "Mione, you'll break your back carrying all that?!?!" "Yeah Ron's right- why the fuck do you have so much paper?!?!" "Parchment" "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT HERMIONE-"
Harry and hermione sharing their favourite muggle treats with ron "Mars bars mine" "I've always loved strawberry laces myself!!" And Ron sharing his favourite wizard treats with them.
Harry teaching Ron how to cook the muggle way and Ron teaching Harry how to cook the magic way. (Hermione was banned from the kitchen after she got frustrated with the spells and just decided to leave the boys to it as they actually enjoyed it) "I mean, you cooked for us during the hunt, the least we can do is cook for you now!" "You don't have to be good at everything, babe!!" "FINE-"
Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione make sure too meet up for lunch at least twice a week, as they have busy lives now and they want to make that effort too see eachother. They've only missed around 15 of these, either because of honeymoons, child birth, Harry being "INJURED WHAT THE FUCK MATE DID YOU DO?!" "He was stabbed" "LIGHTLY stabbed" "YOU BLOODY PASSED OUT FROM BLOOD LOSS-" "eh" "EH?!?!?"
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