Neville: Harry told me that instead of being sad, I should “go get it dude!” So I’m gonna go get it right now

Hermione: get what?

Neville: unclear. I’ll get everything just to be safe

Harry: standing up and blacking out for a few seconds is just transitioning from a cutscene to the actual gameplay

Hermione: you fucker need to eat salt is what it means

Harry: can we talk about the message you’ve sent to the D.A?

Ron: it was critical update

Harry: you took my coin and sent “Harry’s back on his bullshit”

Ron: well people need to know

Remus: are you okay?

Harry, face down on the floor: I’m having the time of my life

James: This time, we fight Voldemort using our superpowers.

James: Our two brain cells

James : Remus. Lily. It's your time to shine.

Harry: mike wazowski twerking is the same if he was nodding

Hermione, on the verge of a breakdown: for the love of Merlin’s pants, please stAwp

Harry: music is just wiggling air

Hermione: don’t do this. Don’t do this to me today

Harry: and color is just wiggling light. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

Ron: artists and musicians are just magicians of the wiggle

Neville: an artist best quality: their wiggles

Hermione: why has god FORSAKEN ME

Harry, about Ginny: I can feel her undressing me with her eyes

Hermione, not looking up from her book: I don’t know Haz, she isn’t laughing

Harry : ron and Hermione so cute together . Fuck me if I'm wrong

Draco : you're supposed to say fuck me if I'm wrong first

Harry : I know I said it for a reason

Draco : * with tears in his eyes* you don't wanna fuck me

Harry :

* gets existential crisis *

Ted: SNAKES DON'T HAVE ARMS

Ted: THEY CAN'T GO BOWLING

Andromeda: fuck. There goes my snake bowling team, fuck this

Sirius and Regulus: we’re totally the tops in this relationship

James and Remus: *radiating off top energy*

Lily: yeah doesn’t seem that way you bottoms

Sirius: I will hurt you

Andromeda: And I will make it look like an accident

talbott: yeehaw or i will not seehaw you again

I married my wife. I love saying ‘my wife,’ it sounds so adult. ‘That’s my wife.’ It’s great, you sound like a person.

-James

Slytherpuff As Parents: Pt. 9

Baby: *gurgles, fists in their mouth*

Slytherin: *cradling their baby, whispering to it*

Hufflepuff: *smiles to themselves over coffee* What a great parent.

Slytherin: *whispers to baby* The heaviest penalty for declining to rule is to be ruled by someone inferior to yourself.

Baby: *gazes into the void*

Hufflepuff:

Hufflepuff: Babe, what are you teaching our child? -

Tulip: *Walking around still disappointed, six hours after visiting an aquarium*

Badeea: What did you think a Tiger shark was, Tulip?

Professor Trelawney: you seem to use sarcasm to distance people

Harry: and yet you’re still here

Ginny: Hey, Luna. Wanna play Angry Birds?

Luna: I've never heard of that game. What is it?

Ginny: It's a video game where you launch birds at green pigs. I can -

Luna: *grabs an owl and throws it at Draco Malfoy*

Luna: Did I do that right?

Ron: but what if ducks threw bread back at you?

Harry: you’d have to duck

Hermione: I hate both of you

sirius: *gets down on one knee*

remus: oh my god, it’s finally happening.

sirius: *falls over*

remus: the poison is kicking in.