Sirius Anything-But-Black.
~~~♤~~~
Sirius hates his last name. He always joked around by going by his friend's names instead.
Sirius Potter was the most common, of course. He was practically raised by the Potter's, he and James had been brothers for years of course he was a Potter.
Second was Pettigrew, mostly when joking around with Peter.
He'd make comments like "This is why it's so great to be a part of the Pettigrew family!" and "Don't you dare disrespect the Pettigrew Brothers!"
A handful of times he even used Lily's last name, referring to himself as Sirius Evans.
She finds it hilarious, as soon as she catches on that he hates his last name she starts calling him Evans too.
Whenever she'd pass by the group and greet James as Potter, she'd always make sure to reply to Sirius' "Hey, Evans!" With a "Hello, Evans." In return.
Every once in a while he used their other friend's names too; Meadowes, Longbottom, McKinnon, he went as far as to use McGonagall once and nearly got detention for a week.
But he never used Lupin.
Remus asks him one lazy Saturday morning as the group was sprawled across the furniture in the common room.
He'd wondered for years, they all secretly had, but it never meant enough to any of them to really ask.
"Why do you never go by Sirius Lupin?" Remus asked, filling the lull in conversation.
It was supposed to be a casual question, but there was nothing casual about the look Sirius gave him when he replied,
"Because you haven't asked me to marry you yet, Moons."
The room was silent. Remus and Sirius were staring at each other for a long time. Remus slowly stood up and walked over to him, kneeling down in front of his chair,
"Sirius, will you marry me?" He whispered.
"Of course, Remus." Sirius breathed.
Nobody else could tell if they were joking or not. They'd never once shown feelings towards each other, nothing more than what they normally did.
Remus wasn't even gay.
But then, all of the sudden, Remus and Sirius were found walking the halls hand in hand, placing gentle kisses on each other's cheeks.
They started sleeping in the same bed at night, Remus curled on his side with his nose nuzzled against Sirius' neck.
Sirius exclusively went by Sirius Lupin now, refusing to go by anything else. He also made it very clear to all of his suitors that he was engaged and off the market.
The others still couldn't quite tell how much further they would go for the bit, but they seemed happy?? So they were all happy too.
Immediately after graduation they got married and made it official. Everyone was kinda blown away, but then again, it was Remus and Sirius, they've kind of always been dating, even when they weren't.
The others finally asked years later if they'd been secretly dating prior to that, since it was the only thing that made sense.
Sirius shook his head, "No, I had no idea Rem liked me back. I was just really in love with him."
Remus nodded, explaining he wasn't actually sure if Sirius was joking or not either at first, but he was too in love to question it, and took the chance he got.
It ended up working out, Sirius was now- in all ways including legally- Mr. Sirius Lupin.
And he'd never been happier.
~~~♤~~~
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“You know now that Regulus isn’t an asshole it’s getting harder to ignore the other thing.”
Lily simply raised an eyebrow. “What other thing?”
James sighed, waving his hand in the air. “You know. The thing we all know but can’t say in front of Sirius.”
As Lily connects the dots, a slow smirk appears on her face. “Is the thing that Regulus Black is good looking?”
James scoffs. “He’s not just good looking. He’s the most gorgeous man I’ve ever laid eyes on - the way his hair falls in perfectly styled curls, his inquisitive eyes hiding so much knowledge -
Lily rolls her eyes. “Okay lover boy. I’m beginning to see why we didn’t work out.”
But James doesn’t stop. He’s on a roll. “I love it when he says my name. Even when he’s annoyed with me - “
“Is that so Potter?”
James jerks up in his seat, hitting his leg on the table in his haste.
He feels himself blush as he meets amused grey eyes. Lily is cackling in the background.
“So.. How much of that did you hear?” James asks, aiming for subtle and missing it by miles.
Regulus smirks. “Enough to know that apparently everyone should find me hot.”
James groans loudly, burying his face in his hands.
“Is there any way you can forget I said that?”
Regulus leans in and smirks - a very dangerous expression on him that James should not find as hot as he does.
“Only if you forget that I think everyone should think you’re hot too.”
And oh -
Well. What Sirius didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.
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Remus Lupin, wearing only a towel around his waist: Sirius, could you throw me that shirt?
Sirius Black, very much speaking to Remus’ abs: yeah, here you gay- I mean go, I said go-
James, mimicking a newscaster: Sirius Black had never wanted to be railed so bad in his life. More at six.
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