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#hart babbles

thought I needed a good night’s sleep to be able to get up again in the morning… turned out all I needed was enough spite and distance 🥰

(spite for all the school things that never ends — I’m diligent I swear I do it on the day the work is assigned! — and enough distance between me and my phone so I’d have to get up to turn my loud ass alarm off 😂)

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just finished applying for a college (tomorrow we’ll finish applying to another college) and I keep alternating between hopeful and despairing because:

the college entrance exams were cancelled (which… yay, because online schooling is hard enough I don’t need to add reviewing for cets to it) but also,

they’re going to judge you by grades and awards and I don’t really have extracurriculars and I mean I have awards and I have decent grades and a high class/batch ranking (135 students in the batch) but still… it just seems so hopeless 😩 i know there are probably a shit ton of people that are better than me and I can’t help feeing like I’ll just end up in a ditch somewhere idk dndbdb

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this seems just a little bit unrealistic to me i don’t think my irl friends would pay any attention to my blog if i ever gave them my url

or maybe that’s just me bc I don’t have a lot in common with my irl friends, and even if we do have shared interests … idk i think we’re all busy with school and my few friends who do love reading like different books and don’t involve themselves in fandom. not that I know of anyway.

also y’know, different set of friends that I acquired in different stages of my life

  • there are elementary friends and we’re going steady so that’s great. friends who read books but not involved in fandom :(
  • my high school group -more on this later-
  • and my “i got separated -different section- from my hs group of friends so i inevitably made new ones” group. two of them read books, books which are different from mine and also idk if they’re involved in fandom bc from what i know they’re not :( (although we do have the nicest general book discussions though so that’s nice)

the high school group, there’s eight of us and it all happened by chance but here we are almost 6 years later. in the group, we had shared interests but there is not one thing that all eight of us liked that would bond us together except: gossip.

eight people. none of them read books. I mean wattpad sure, but like… fandom? published books? nope. which is appalling but we created close bonds anyway.

(also the gossip is not like, mean gossip, though but we are very updated when it comes to our schoolmates who do shit)

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after some reflection I have come to the conclusion that reading fandomless books are equivalent to engaging in sober one night stands

and boy do I have a LOT of flings standing in line 🥰

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I should NOT be allowed to think of cool new series/fic ideas when I haven’t finished my other list of ideas yet 😭

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me, adding a boatload of emojis to every ao3 fic i stumble upon: *muttering* be the change you want to see in the world

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dont know who tf thought cold brew coffees were a good idea (hazelnut coffee cold brew tastes like someone’s asshole u cant change my mind) but im about to use it in a future fic prompt and no one can stop me 😭😭😭

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so tired of Christianity… someone get me outta here and into a decent therapist’s office pls

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sometimes all the time in life, when you see a post that you don’t agree with (when it’s a matter of opinion, esp in fandoms) you just gotta tell urself “i don’t agree with your opinion but i respect it” and walk tf away. no comments, mentions, asks, etc etc. ya feel?

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Enola Holmes

is a babie and I love her sm. So full of spirit but not to the point where you won’t relate to her. MBB is a great actress and she and Henry had great chemistry (don’t get me started on that beautiful beautiful man 😭) it’s such a well done movie 🥺 the feminist messaging wasn’t “in-your-face” it was seamlessly incorporated and they made it out as a fact of life that women are at a disadvantage and it needs to change which you know, for the more smarter of the bunch who will watch, I just feel like that creates a much weightier impact. It’s not commercialized and being a feminist wasn’t the only thing about Enola, Edith, and Eudoria’s characters. They were all so well rounded and effortlessly portrayed the different things women are. and the different ways they fought for what they believed in (Eudora with her steely wits and her target aimed at the top. Edith with lifting other women up. Enola, well she wasn’t really fighting for rights yet but by being unapologetically her, she made the boy see clearly what she was all about and I believe that by the end of the movie when it was time to vote that his reasons for voting pro women, his reasons widened beyond just taking after his father) just.. I’m— I love this movie 🥺

and you know, sherlock’s contemplative look and silence when edith told him about why he wasn’t interested in politics, that was the best realistic reaction. he wasn’t gonna immediately (almost cartoonishly if that’s… u know im gonna leave it at that) jump over to the other side but you see him considering the idea. it’s stuck in his head. at the end when he was talking to mycroft about enola that’s … well familial fondness sure, but i’d like to think Edith’s words stuck. Henry’s acting??? 💓💓💓

I love how Enola didn’t figure everything out (the uncle grandmother part) and when it was shown that sherlock did, it wasn’t “men are better that’s why” it was because he was a seasoned detective and she was just starting out. exploring the real world too as she went. it was realistic without being degrading. plus that proud smile as he walked out of Lestrade’s office???? 20/10 E F F E R V E S C E N T.

I viciously wanted Millie not to have a love interest but it was good writing. no kissing. no wild declarations of love it wasn’t the center of their story and there clearly wasn’t power imbalance because the guy (whose name is so long i didn’t bother remembering honestly) clearly respected her and was fascinated at the things she could do. she was aware what falling for pretty boys meant and she tried resisting it but— you know. she fell for him not because he was pretty and charming. it was the shared experience and that he had substance underneath.

The movie was so well done I just— 🥺🥺🥺

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so we watched a church livestream earlier and I had no choice but to joinmy family…

the pastor had a white streak in front of his hair and it reminded me of Jem and- and- I CANNOT UNSEE 😭😭😭😭😭

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