#has anyone ever felt love? is it just an invention of the brain? the heart is after all just an organ in a system created to survive as a

[oshiawaseni]

Trails of Love Hori's been paving down in the build up for the series' ending

Part II: Decoding the love story being told through other characters

Part One | II. Compress | Part Two -> KiriMina

.•° ✿ 2. Gentle & La Brava ೋღ

Gentle and La Brava are classic portrayals of the archetype known in Japan as "baka couple" - a couple that dotes on each other and are very openly affectionate. By juxtaposing the baka couple with Izuku and Katsuki, who keep their true feelings for each other close to their chests, Horikoshi is highlighting the tension and ambiguity going on between bkdk even more.

This tale is the evolution of my feelings towards Gentle/La Brava.

Their introduction was, very... unexpected. Izuku had just finished his tough fight against Overhaul. Nothing much was going on at the time and it had been quite a while since Izuku and Katsuki had interacted with each other.

Shortly after Gentle and La Brava's introduction to the series, BkDk development ramps up and Izuku's "Control your heart" character arc begins. Isn't that interesting..?

The very first time I watched Gentle/La Brava's story in Season Four, something seemed so... misplaced about them.

Their vibe felt filler-ish and because of the school festival side plot going on, their appearance was more like a filler inside of a filler. Yet, Horikoshi had indeed written them into BNHA. These two characters felt so strange when compared with Hori's usual characters. Even downright silly. They were criminals, but they weren't even that bad..? Tea? U.A? They loved each other?

I just couldn't quite work out their purpose in the grand scheme of things and I quickly gave up trying to.

Izuku has no regard for himself? He's crazy? Don't get entangled with him? These lines scream out KATSUKI KATSUKI KATSUKI and how he had felt towards Izuku for years. It seems Hori projected Katsuki's issues with Izuku onto LB/G over 100 chapters before Katsuki verbalised them himself. Going back, now knowing they were written for BkDk is a new experience in and of itself.

Around the time of Katsuki's death, a few theories were floating around on twitter, saying that Gentle and La Brava were put in the manga to highlight what's going on with BkDk. At the time of hearing these theories, I never expected they'd be making a return to the story in the final arc, it had broke my brain thinking about them the first time, so I didn't give this theory too much thought... but when they showed up a second time, in the final act, I really wish I had.

Because as I was reading the things they were now saying the second time around, and being more open to this theory about them, all I could see in my head were visions of everything Izuku and Katsuki had ever done for each other. It had finally clicked:

God, Hori did invent these characters to be the voice of BkDk.

These were the new lines in question that sent my head spiralling about the magnificent truth of this theory:

"Are you still fighting to protect someone's smile?!" It made me think of Katsuki, how Izuku was fighting for Katsuki's sake! To keep him safe, so he'll come back to him, energetic, alive, red eyes shining again with the passion that Izuku loves so much, and his face brimming with confidence and that wonderful, infectious smile of his that tells, no, shouts to everyone that he knows he's a winner.

"My only happiness was the thought of you at my side" Immediately made me think of Katsuki's last moments and thinking of Izuku when he knew, he just KNEW he was going to die. And his thoughts of Izuku - wanting to be the hero that Izuku loves, so he could feel that love when he needed it most, these feelings surrounded and filled his entire heart like a comforting, soft, warm blanket. These feelings are what got him through everything until the end.

This one made me cry because Izuku was his happiness at his very end. And I finally saw Horikoshi, the mangaka who cares about BkDk more than anyone! I saw what he was doing!

"The time we spent apart made our love even stronger." was like a ray of hope for me because every time they had a separation, BkDk's love grew even stronger. It meant that this separation caused by Kacchan's death would some day have an end too, where afterwards, they would be free to love each other for all the world to see.

Can you see it? Katsuki and Izuku were always meant to end up together, and La Brava and Gentle were meant to help show readers what they feel, without BkDk necessarily saying it themselves.

If Izuku's love of Kacchan is what got him a power up every time (OFA, Black Whip, Danger Sense), then this ultimate power of La Brava's must be the same for Katsuki too. Because it is his love for Izuku that gave him a quirk awakening. (And there's another great theory that their deep bond and immense love for each other is what connected Katsuki to Izuku's OFA, as well. So Gentle La Brava are connected via Love... and Katsuki and Izuku are connected via love!)

Let's say from the very beginning of BNHA, Horikoshi's idea was to gradually bring BkDk closer and closer, adding in little details here and there that don't make much sense on their own and are never expanded upon. Because he couldn't make their feelings known in the early/mid game... but he wanted to have them romance-ready at the end game.

Hori would have had a basic outline for the ways he was going to develop BkDk's relationship and he knew he needed a lot of 3rd party help to really spell out their relation to each other in the future. So Hori created Gentle and La Brava for this singular purpose. They exist to help verbalise Katsuki and Izuku's unsaid feelings! It's a perfect marriage between Gentle/La Brava's words and BkDk's actions.

And once people realised that Hori was doing this, they could then go back to the dialogues and connect the dots with other BkDk scenes as well, for example, Katsuki's abduction by the LOV in season three.

In a scene where Katsuki is taken away, Izuku's emotional pain is palpable. His deafening scream shocks not only his classmates, but a lot of viewers too. Because of his deeply emotional reaction and later scenes displaying symptoms of PTSD, this seemingly one-sided affection that Izuku has towards Katsuki, raised so many questions about their relationship for me. And as the series progressed, the mystery of Izuku's powerful feelings and need for Katsuki only deepened further. It feels like La Brava's dialogues were written into the series, just to verbalise what these overwhelming moments were truly like for Izuku.

This can't be just a coincidence. There are just too many parallels between BkDk and Gentle/La Brava to even count.

If you've read my twitter thread on the Gentle/La Brava vs BkDk parallels and how incredibly similar Izuku and La Brava's backgrounds are, but you're still sceptical about this theory, then going on this journey of Hori's trails with me may help convince you that Hori was going to make BkDk canon no matter what and that he's been using other characters to narrate the feelings of BkDk's actions.

In the future, I hope to show you how instrumental Gentle and La Brava were in expressing Horikoshi's vision.

Because there are more layers to Gentle and La Brava's arc than a damn rainbow cake. And I'm still not finished with these two yet, but that is a topic for a later post. Next up, KiriMina!

Part Two -> KiriMina

II. Compress Back to Part One

#bakudeku #bkdk canon #kana writes #bnha meta #op #must read meta #gentle love #what do you guys think about gentle and la brava?

[hamadacare]

— character info sheet.

(repost, don’t reblog)

name: tadashi hamada

name meaning: tadashi (kind, virtuous, devoted) / hamada (seashore rice paddy)

alias/es: baymax's creator, 'dashi' by hiro + fred

ethnicity: japanese american

one picture you like best of your chara: as if i'm picking one. but if I'm held at gunpoint and have to choose one, it'd be the 💋 one; which hot animated character kisses the screen so out of breath without thought? it's such a cute detail to me like, thank you tadashi for kissing me ♡

two h/cs you never told anyone I found myself rambling a lot in the tags so idk which hc's I didn't end up saying? but at the same time, I have a scattered brain so here you go:

Tadashi used to wear glasses and braces. This isn't to be confused with Tadashi being an 'ugly duckling' before (that's such an outdated notion). Tadashi has pictures of himself from this stage of his life, but he would not show it to anyone until he considers you a close friend.

Tadashi doesn't get angry, but when he does, you don't want to be at the receiving end. His rage was such a wild, violent tornado that he needed anger management classes because it wasn't healthy for a young Tadashi. (He has sent a classmate to the hospital before-) Nowadays as a young adult, it's difficult to get him angry, but he does have his buttons to press.

Tadashi was a former bot-fighter. Sneaked in a third one here. However, I can't elaborate on it as much as I'd like because this needs a post of its own. But the bottom line is that botfighting is different in my canon; it's more physical and personal than having robots fight for the people. It's more of street-fighting if I'm honest. I'll just leave it at that.

three things your character likes doing in their free time: 

doing anything, alone. Tadashi's thoughts are able to be formulated in his mind when he isn't around anyone else; he can hear his own voice. It's hard to believe this when he is surrounded by so many people on campus and is the face of so many things for SFIT but, he LOVES being alone. he can do things on his own accord, he can make mistakes, he can talk to himself without being seen like a weirdo. he can be, himself. some hobbies include: planting, exercising, and taking himself out on dates .. . :')

inventing. It saved him. He invented things at his worst and at his best. He understood it and felt understood by it. It's weird to say that about non-sentient things, but machinery just, trusts you to tinker around with it and it promises you it's going to be a great function in your life forever if you do it right just once.

hanging out with hiro :-) He's the only other person who truly understands him. both have seen each other at their ugliest, and both are nasty asf with each other as far as siblings go. the pranks, the bullying, the sabotaging one another in order to avoid chores, all those good things. but also the memories of sharing their baths in their younger days, the secret language only your sibling can ever understand, and the unconditional support no one else is going to give ... hiro keeps him alive. that is his brother and best friend for life

seven people your character likes / loves: more like, his immediate circle who has seen tadashi at his nastiest-

his wittle little itty bitty brother hiro ♡

aunt cass (his aunt, guardian figure who shoved him on the right path when he was troubled, he owes so much to her ♡)

mochi (hairy baby)

baymax (his creation, his child if you will-)

callaghan (mentor and inspiration. in my canon, he helps tadashi navigate through his anger issues)

tameo hamada (father, he misses being daddy's baby and sitting on his laps :c he was the one that gave dashi the cap)

maemi hamada (mother, she was So ready to be a mother and aunt cass does not shut up about that :'c aunt cass and dashi bond over the strife she went through to get this far in her life and it breaks tadashi's heart)

two things your character regrets:

hurting hiro in one of his bouts of rage. he has physically hurt him once, one punch to his face out of worry (think about that scene in Arcane where vi punches powder), and can never forget about it ever since. right there and then, Tadashi knew he needed help.

as far as everything else goes, if tadashi were to die today, he wouldn't change a thing. "Maybe I have made mistakes and been through my fair share of pain. But all in all, it's been okay, I've lived well :-) "

two one phobia your character has:

fire. though, i wouldn't necessarily call this one a phobia but rather, an element that gets him alert. it does not intervene in his life and he can coexist with it like cooking and enjoying a bonfire, but if he is not in control of it, like smelling it somewhere and not seeing it, he will ask about it and not shut up until it has been handled or he can see that the fire is in someone's control.

tagged by: @spiderbyhalf This one got me to fall in love with Tadashi all over again thank you 💕

tagging: @pupmemoirs , @rcbcllixvs, @randomeeveelutions, @labdweller, @flossinspector, @deprcvities (Darcy!)

#‘⠀it’s so hard to not be hard on yourself ( dash games )

[cubedmango]

Just had to get this off my chest but I just rewatched episode 12 and when I tell you the tears would NOT stop flowing like I have the nastiest headache right now I can’t believe myself?? There’s just. There was so much going on there like the fact that I realised I actually like tsuge and his character like his friendship with adachi is so solid and I realised that the conversation he had with him in the cafe, was exactly what he kinda should have had with kurosawa? (Like yeah they do eventually on the rooftop) but like that reassurance that the magic wasn’t what would make their relationship stable it was them actually just communicating with each other and getting to learn abt e/o that way, mistakes included like OOF I thought it was really nice cause it had the romantic aspect with him and kurosawa, but also him realising that it applies for any relationship including his friendships with people too I just. Man I love how they placed so much importance and value on all kinds of relationships with people you come across in life :( AND THEN the rooftop scene oh jeez,,, something funny I always wondered about was how long adachi was riding that bike cause we went from broad daylight to nighttime but ANYWAY can I just say hearing kurosawa say ‘adachi?’ In that soft, unsure voice as though he couldn’t believe his eyes felt like m*rder I had to pause and collect myself . also can I just say I forgot. How tender that entire scene is like that’s when I truly broke down because Are They Insane. What do you mean they have an entire conversation with kurosawa literally cradling the back of adachi’s head and there’s a moment there where he re-adjusts his hand and closes his eyes to breathe and naina I- I’m losing my mind why,, why did they have to invent gentle intimacy like that WHY? Okay lemme stop myself because I’m realising I could talk about that scene for 10 hours straight but can we seriously focus on the fact that even though they literally broke up kurosawa was ready to essentially propose if adachi somehow still showed up for their date. Like the levels to that make my head spin and i’m not even gonna touch on the fact that adachi immediately starts crying after that cause I will lay down and never get up like it probably set in again that the love kurosawa has for him is unconditional and like he just mentioned that he couldn’t possibly fathom anyone else having his heart apart from adachi like oh…. I’m so sorry this is unbelievably long but lastly I just wanna say that I know for sure they were called in the next day after kissing in the lift for a meeting with hr

1) do not apologize ever . actually u should send me more of these i need to read all of them ur thoughts are like tasty treats for my brain

2) honestly i thought i had nothing to add but actually i remembered a detail ive seen literally no one talk about that makes me so insane . so u remember how tsuge mentions that minato heard from rokkaku about krdc being off at work and thats why tsuge came to talk to adachi and ultimately gave him the push to go see kurosawa. Like?? rokkaku being that worried about his seniors who he cares about So Much is the One Single Reason krdc even met again that day .???? and then him and fujisaki doing their own fireworks show just to maybe make "someone feel happier" ouughghfgghhh ,, ,. rokkaku ultimate protector of the gays i love he.........

3) also tiny detail during the bit where adachi says he regrets it and hes being all self-deprecating and u can See kurosawa shaking his head not wanting adachi to talk about himself like that. whhwt .. why. who thought. w. hey ?? did they think about me?????? when they wrote that????????? Huh??????????????????????

4) why would u remind me of the head cradle i feel sick i .. i have to watch the scene 10 times again excuse me

5) again. the fact that kurosawa considered an Actual Miracle that adachi would show up and probably believed it wouldnt happen but he bought the pens anyway . and he knew adachi would be too embarrassed about rings. head in hands i cannot , fucking do this this show makes me so Unwell!!!!! Its Fucked UP !!!!!!!!!

#also the hr thing hellpdfkdfjk imagine krdc being called in and told ''look ur business is ur business but pls remember office cctv exists'' #arrgghghhg ep12 truly one of the finales in a drama ever . literally perfection i think #(ignore the fact that i made up a whole au where it doesnt happen and everything is 100 times more painful . sometimes i get masochistic) #my answer

[scifrey]

I have obviously just finished cling fast. You know bc I left you a comment. But now I'm laying in bed and I'm just... Don't even know what to do with myself. This fic absolutely consumed me, and I'm sure as the writer, you know that better than anyone, writer who pounded out 50k words in 11 days. But now I'm like, how can I continue living a normal life after such an experience. *lays here dramatically*

Thanks again for writing and sharing. ❤️❤️❤️

I cannot express how important and moving all of your comments, all of the comments of everybody who left me some, have been. And how vital they were to me actually engaging with this story, and being motivated to finish it.

I don't know where it came from, I felt less like I was inventing it and more like I was just watching a television show, and I was just transcribing what the people on the screen were doing. I wouldn't say it came to me fully formed, because the end result doesn't look like what I thought it would when I began, but that's one of the great joys of writing. I love discovering themes, and running metaphors, and literary tropes as I go.

I've had a very difficult relationship with writing in the last 3 years. I wrote my first original novel in 2007, sold it in 2009, published it to very nice awards and acclaim in 2011, and it feels like it's just been a Sisyphean struggle ever since. After my last two novels came out and immediately sunk into the black hole of public indifference, I fell into a depression about my work. I let go of my literary agent. It took me 2 years to write another book because every word was a struggle, and all I kept hearing was no everywhere I turned.

And then I had a robust enough idea to try to write a story around, and that was Cling Fast.

A writer friend of mine, who's been helping me deal with the creative sorrow of this industry, said that it was like my creative brain finally woke up again after five years, jumped up and down like a child, and screamed, "I just want to have some fun already!"

I'm so glad I indulged it.

I feel like all of this has been like a fever dream or something. I looked down on a sunny Sunday afternoon at the keyboard, I looked up again 11 days later and the whole thing was done, and more than a week had passed, and I don't know what happened.

I used to ALWAYS write like this, two decade ago.

I used to spend so many weekends just crawling out of bed and immediately into my office chair, and working straight through the sunset. I did it so often that my university friends would break into my apartment and literally drag me backwards out the door to go dancing at the goth club. ( Ask @redmoonglassworksgallery - she'll confirm.)

I never thought I'd experience that level of intense creativity and joy again.

I say all this because while you were laying in bed contemplating how to continue after having read this (oh my gosh I can't believe you said this 💜) life-changing fic....

I was doing the same. I was staring at my ceiling at 1:00 in the morning wondering how this had happened, and unbelievably, overwhelmingly grateful to this fandom for getting me there.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

#Cling Fast #losyark #j.m. frey #writing community #am writing

[nobodysdaydreams]

Theories my brain has generated about what happened to SQ’s biological parents/why SQ was adopted:

Since we might be getting more backstory soon (if our girl Garrison can pull it together), I figured I’d publish this draft now.

They just worked for Curtain and actually did get sick. This could be from a genetic illness SQ also has, and curing it could somehow be part of Curtain’s motivation, but there haven’t been a lot of clues for this (we haven’t seen SQ act ill). Curtain could have then adopted SQ because he didn’t want him sent to an orphanage, and maybe SQ’s biological parents were the closest to friends he’s ever gotten, so he felt sentimental. I rate this theory a 7/10 for plausibility, which goes up the more they go for the “see, Curtain does have a heart” angle, especially regarding SQ.

Curtain’s inventions accidentally killed SQ’s biological parents because he overlooked safety regulations and warnings the same way he overlooks ethical concerns. The only flaw with this theory is that Curtain would have likely been affected by the accident (hence why he adopted SQ- out of guilt) but he is still willing to bypass safety and ethical restrictions, so I guess he just didn’t learn (or maybe he adopted SQ to avoid suspicion/look charitable but that’s still doing a lot to cover your tracks and also keeps the incident relevant in people’s minds by having the child of the people you killed constantly hanging around). Despite these minors hang ups, I still think it’s the most likely theory so far: 9/10 for plausibility.

Sq’s biological parents are still alive but brain-swept. This tracks with Curtain’s behavior, but it is unclear why Curtain would keep their baby unless he just really wanted a family and didn’t care how he got one. Also possible that SQ has some ability (like Constance) that Curtain thought he would need, which would also work with theory #1, but we haven’t seen SQ show any signs of this. I rate this one a 2/10 because it would be lame to just have his parents be some random brain-swept people who are totally still alive at the end that we’ve never met, but I’ve seen writers do lame things before (not these ones, though, and I hope they keep it up).

Same as 3, but we have already met one of his biological parents in this situation. Some theorists suggest Milligan, but he was a chemist, not a neuroscientist, and he and Kate match a similar description (super athletic, you see the resemblance in looks, skill, and personality: when you say they are related, it makes sense. Plus the timeline doesn’t add up for Milligan to be SQ’s bio dad). We know nothing about SQ’s bio mom, so she could be anyone (they said his dad got sick and died, but nothing about the mom). I can’t recall any characters who are super into art, so no obvious candidates stick out. But in looking for characters that are the likeliest candidates for his bio dad, I noticed that SQ looks a lot like Curtain, and could pass as his bio son, especially not knowing what the mom looked like. There’s no reason for Curtain not to have lied to SQ and just never tell him he was adopted except for the obvious: that’s a horrible thing to do, but Curtain’s evil, so it wouldn't be totally out of character. Then I realized that if SQ looks like Curtain, he also looks like Nicholas, and Nicholas studied neuroscience. Honestly, I think this theory is super unlikely. Still, if Curtain previously reconnected with Nicholas, worked with him, then was confronted by Nicholas about his schemes, so he selectively knocked out Nicholas' memories of them reconnecting and stole his son, that would be wild. Even though the theory technically makes logical sense, I give the version where Nicholas is SQ’s father a 1/10 in plausibility for sounding a bit too much like fan fiction. The version where SQ’s brain-swept parents are familiar to us but someone else? 4/10 for plausibility, which goes up if the character mentions they love art (or dated someone who did).

I don’t think they would go here, but Curtain intentionally offed them. But again, why keep their kid if Curtain hated them so much? He certainly didn’t adopt Kate when he swept Milligan. (maybe he tried? Idk). 1/10 in plausibility because I don’t think Disney would go there.

SQ is actually Curtain’s biological son. Super unlikely because I have no idea why Curtain would tell him he’s adopted in this case unless Curtain himself was selectively brain swept at some point and decided to adopt SQ, not knowing they were related (how would that even happen). 1/10 in plausibility because this implies Curtain has a dating history, and no one is dating a man who is weird and controlling and mentally unstable and evil, like pick a struggle.

SQ’s biological parents are in a comatose or freeze state similar to the “happiness freezes” that have been happening as a result of Curtain’s experiments (basically theory #2, but instead of being dead, they are alive, just incapacitated). 5/10 in plausibility because the happiness thing wasn’t used until season 2, but something else could have gone down.

#I hope Garrison starts spilling the tea on this I need details #Curtain you better not have killed that boy’s parents #ld curtain #ledroptha curtain #ledroptha #mr curtain #nathaniel benedict #sq curtain #sq benedict #sq pedalian #tmbs #tmbs disney #tmbs 2 #mbs s2 #mbs disney #mbs season 2 #mbs #mbs theory #mysterious benedict society #the mysterious benedict society

[minecraftstorymode-rewritten]

Soren The Architect:

Personality:

An eccentric architectural genius, Soren is unafraid of any dangers that come with his studies, however, became more cowardly in adventuring endeavors after discovering the command block (relying on it). Soren has a love of teaching others, hence why he writes so many books. Soren has more empathy for endermen than he does people; this being how they are more predictable and don’t betray others (nor do they have conflicting traits that make them even more confusing/frustrating). Although Soren has a talent for architecture and enjoys doing some in his free time, he doesn’t like the idea of it being what he is known for.

Backstory: 

Soren was always curious. Even before The Order and its disbanding, he would excitedly travel around, wishing to gain as much knowledge as possible on anything that even slightly interested him. Once he had gained enough knowledge on a topic for his liking, he would then enthusiastically talk about it for hours on end to anyone who would listen, which was no one. For a long time in his early years, he was alone. Soren was unable to make many friends, or even keep them for long if he did.

However, there was one person he was able to make friends with and keep around; Ivor. Yes, Ivor was always more than willing to listen to Soren about his studies, and Soren always listened when Ivor would ramble about his studies as well. The two were near inseparable, combining Soren’s inventive ingenuity and Ivor’s potion and enchantment knowledge to create an iconic duo in their youth. 

In one of his many quests for knowledge, Soren wanted to study the inner workings of an adventuring party as closely as he could. What are the dynamics like? In what way would the party grow and evolve amongst themselves? How did they decide who the leader is? All these questions and Soren wanted answers. Thus he decided that the only way to get satisfying answers was to create his own party, which he named The Order of The Stone. Ivor joined him in this study, the two being an adventuring duo for a good few months. Though, not many people showed interest in joining his team. People were reluctant about joining the team since, well, both Ivor and Soren may talk their ears off with their incessant ramblings! Besides, both of them had the unlucky attribute of seeming quite pretentious at first glance; some people thought the two assumed they were better than them. 

But just when Soren was giving up all hope, he got Gabriel to join his team. Gabriel was just the edition they needed, sure they had plenty of brains between the two of them. But when it came to more brawn-required situations, they struggled. Sometime afterward they met Magnus and Ellagaurd, who were their own little adventuring duo. They added some much-needed redstone engineering knowledge and spontaneity to the team. 

So The Order was all set, becoming the most well-renowned adventurers in all the land. There, he studied to his heart’s content, finding all the answers he could ever want on the subject of adventuring parties. Along with the knowledge he earned in his travels, Soren also felt as if he had gained a genuine group of friends that truly wanted him there. Sadly, though, this most-needed friend group of his wouldn’t last forever. Soon he was all alone again, back to the same place he started mentally. 

To avoid this void of loneliness he felt, Soren delved into his studies more intensely, even completely leaving the Overworld to study The End as close as possible. Sometimes he wondered what would have happened if The Order had never found the command block. Could he have been able to keep the party together, even for just a little bit longer? Could he have kept his friendship with Ivor? Could he have had everything his heart desires if he had just let it be? If he had not resorted to lying and secret-keeping? Yes, he may have, but he cannot do anything about it now; he is too far gone. This is where he belongs: in pure isolation, Soren decides. 

Job:

In the past, Soren had been a researcher, though did building commissions (buildings, statues) to finance his studies. Later on, he would get into the adventuring business, forming The Order of The Stone. Pregame, Soren lives in The End, researching endermen and their environment. Post-Witherstorm arc, Soren runs off to an isolated swamp, building himself a research lab to study potions and enchantments. 

#mcsm #minecraft story mode #mcsm:rewritten #MCSM Soren #minecraft story mode soren #mcsm:rewritten:characters

[floralbfs]

so does anyone actually believe in (romantic/non-platonic) love or are we like all on the same page that it's not real and, while love as a whole concept exists and is all around us, romantic love is fake and nothing about it will ever matter bc nobody is ever going to love me

#not really. or at all actually #sorry if this doesn't make sense it is midnight and ive been rewatching tol and im extremely fuckign sad #nothing fuckigm matters!!!!!!!! #love is real sure everything is created with love at some degree #but romantic love is a ruse #nobody is ever going to love me or put me before anything else or choose to stay with me forever #romantic love is ephemeral and it lasts only as long as a candle can melt its dying wax #nobody is ever going to love me for real with real feelings and it's never going to last #and honestly why would they want to #i have literally got nothing to offer #except an unhealthy need to put everyone before myself and help others which is extremely useful for everyone except myself #why would i even want to be loved i have no idea what love even is!!!! every time i've felt it i've simply come back in pieces #my heart is always broken and maybe this time it's simply not been able to put itself back together #time after time ive had to pick up its remains and every single time ive cut myself on its edges and come up with a smaller heart in the end #and maybe now i've really got nothing to hold anymore #i have nothing to offer except pain i've caused myself that comes out of my brain filtered as politeness kindness and helpfulness #maybe love has never been real after all #has anyone ever felt love? is it just an invention of the brain? the heart is after all just an organ in a system created to survive as a #whole #can it feel things? can it slow down its beats can it quicken its pace? perhaps it can only show us a taste of death when we get too close #to fabricating a piece of reality #is it showing us the danger we could bring upon ourselves? is it screaming for us to stop? is it begging every time for us to don't? #maybe the human heart isn't prepared to deal with the aftermath of feeling a special kind of love for somebody #maybe i'm just unloveable #why would anyone love me? why would love for me linger? why would someone subject themselves to my existence #maybe everyone was right to leave me #maybe fake toxic love is the right one for me after all #perhaps getting used and getting hurt is what i was created for #there's nothing more i should hope for #honey talk

[imaeraser]

Hi, I loved your ex-Admiral Reader joining the straw hats and U was wondering if you could make a part 2 where the reader and the Straw hats (separately) falling for the new reader.

Please and Thank you

🥰🥰🥰

Sounds great!

Luffy

At first, he thought that he was being friendly

Spending time with you, trying to make the Sunny as welcoming as possible, but then he started to get these warm fuzzy feelings

So he decided that he liked it, and spent even more time with you, but it only made it worse

It got so bad, that at one point he had to leave the room when you entered

When he talked about it to Nami and Robin, they just laughed

Then he got pouty and then demanded they tell him what they were laughing about

“You like them Luffy”

Of course, he likes you, he likes everyone on the crew. Then they had to explain to him that he was feeling romantic feelings

It all made sense, but he also got scared

He saw how love affects people and their careers. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to sacrifice that much for another person

But then Nami and Robin told him he already sacrificed so much for his crew

That’s when he decided he was gonna confess

Zoro

He was against you in the beginning

That’s why it didn't bother him when he wanted to spend more and more time with you. But it started to confuse him when he realized it wasn't to keep an eye on you

So he started to train more, but each time his mind drifted of it drifted off to you

Then he decided to (finally) take more showers, but while washing his hair, he found himself imagining your fingers rubbing his scalp

So he stopped taking showers (again)

Whatever he did, his mind drifted to you. How you would like something, what you would do if you were with him

So he opted to spend more time with you

This confused you, so when you asked he kinda blew up and talked about your allegiance. Of course, this made you sad, and seeing you sad made him realize that he screwed up. Later he talked to you in a hushed voice and apologized

I don’t think he’s the type to ask other people, but after yelling at you and apologizing (which he never does) he thinks it’s time to put down his pride

So when he talked to the boiz (I’m not sorry) they also laughed at him. Except for Luffy, Sanji, and Chopper. Luffy and Chopper were confused, and Sanji was making fun of him

This made him flushed, and as he was about to leave they pointed out the obvious, he liked you.

This made him even more flushed, and he slammed the door shut. But now that he knows what he is feeling, he can decide what to do

Nami

Was suspicious of you too

But as she spent more time with you, she realized that you were nice

So you guys started to stay up and talk about where you guys were from, dreams and aspirations, things you two wanted in the future. And of course about love, marriage, and kids. Just about everything

I think Nami would want to adopt two girls when she’s older. Just like Bellemare

She felt a fire bust in her chest when she saw your smile. She felt clouds split and the sunlight creep down her body when she saw you glance at her

And Nami is self-aware. You best believe that she knew what she was feeling

The knowledge made her shy away for a few days, but she realized that pushing you away wouldn’t make her happy

That means she put her flirtation on 10x

It did make you flustered— I mean a pretty lady hitting on you? Of course, you’re gonna be blushing

It’s mostly a series of compliments and dirty jokes added to the mix. But she didn’t confess for awhile

She didn’t want to disrupt the balance of the crew and was too scared to take the risk

But each time you talk to her, it makes her start to not care

Usopp

High-key scared of you

Was hiding behind Zoro as he interrogated you

But as he interrogated you, he realized that you were pretty nice

So he stopped hiding behind the human meat shield and decided to initiate contact himself

He was doing it to protect his crew… right?

Maybe at first, but he started to become interested in the person you are. Where you grew up, if you had any siblings, parents, dreams, and so on

Then he got addicted. He was a moth drawn to a flame, and he started to feel himself burn up— with love (It’s so cheesy, this is something I am sorry for)

He wanted to impress you. He would start to come up with all of these crazy gadgets

Sometimes he pranks you. He thinks you look cute when you’re mad

When he realized that he was feeling something romantic and not platonic— he went back to scared mode. Think of the stereotypical shy, cute, twiddling thumbs girl— yeah that's him

He keeps trying to confess, but then ends up chickening out

But after asking Franky for advice, he finally steeled his nerves

Sanji

Let’s just say that Sanji was a simp from the start

He may have been suspicious, but when he saw you his heartbeat unlike it had ever done before

It wasn't the usual feeling he got when he just saw a girl, it was something warmer

Of course, that made him want to explore it. Cue the excessive flirting

It honestly got kinda annoying, but once you guys started to talk about things that mattered (not him talking about how lovely you look) was when he started falling

And he fell hard

Sanji had never actually fallen for someone, so he got scared. That meant no more flirting, and him hiding when you entered the room

After you leave he holds his hand to his heart and breathes like he ran a mile

Poor Sanji, you give him butterflies. Too many butterflies

He wants to confess and get over it, but he finds himself getting lightheaded at the thought

Oh, there goes the blood

It gets so bad, that the crew has to take matters into their own hands

Chopper

He fell for you

Because you accidentally tripped him

(I’m not gonna make this romantic)

Robin

She was one of the only people who weren’t super suspicious

Instead, she took the time to get to know you better

When she got to see who you were, she couldn't help but start to fall for you

Make no mistake, Robin is very self-aware. When she started to get an inkling of feelings— she knew

But she likes to play oblivious. She’s good at masking her emotions. Plus, she doesn't want anything to change between you (except for the fact you don't kiss her yet)

She spends even more time with you now. She likes to read and do domestic things with you. She likes to imagine that you two live in a remote cottage

She likes to bring you tea when you read together

She wants to make a move, but she also doesn’t want to ruin what you guys already have

She likes to talk about her feelings with Nami

So every time you walk into the room, you catch Nami doing the wiggling eyebrows and Robin lightly slapping her arm

She just loves the way your brain works (as well as the way your lips look when they pull into a smile)

After enough pestering from Nami, she grabbed some flowers from her garden and decided to finally act on her feelings

Franky

You just started hanging out with him

Probably because he didn't care that you used to be in the navy

You would just watch him make things. And to be polite, he would let you try them out

Of course, this lead to you calling it amazing and boosting his ego

So he started to like when you were around

Then as a pastime, you two would get to know each other

That’s when he started to fall for you. He would start to notice the way your hair fell, and the way it caught the light

You became his muse. And all of a sudden, he's coming up with all of these crazy and brilliant inventions

No one noticed his growing crush on you, since you guys spent most of your time in his workspace, but one dinner the crew found him staring at you during dinner and tripping over himself

Cue the unnecessary teasing. He tries to cover it up as him being a pervert, but everyone knows that he is lying

Since he can’t convince anyone, he tries to convince himself. That means he starts to push you away

But when he starts to feel more empty, he owns up to his feelings and decides to change that

Brook

You would listen to his music

Listen, not just let it play the background

You always had this look of wonder in your eyes as you watched him

After getting to know him (which started by asking him how he learned so many instruments)

He likes the way you laughed and smiled, and… just do anything

He would start blushing when you would come up to him and talk. When he would see you across the room. When he would think about you… all the time

The crew started to notice but brushed it off as him being flattered by you being interested in his music

But when you guys weren’t doing something music-related, the two of you can be seen drinking tea or watching the ocean

He’s pretty self-aware, but he wants to deny it for a little while

But once the crew notices (due to his non-existent eyes following you) they push him to go after it. He’s been lonely for so long, it seems kinda weird for him

He also feels bad for liking you, since he’s dead and old

But he decided that you only live once, but in his instance twice

Jinbei

He was very suspicious of you

He didn't even want you to join. So he decided to keep an eye on you

That backfired

Because he started to notice how good you looked… doing everything. When he started asking you about yourself— boy he started sweating

He can’t get over how cute he thinks you are. Everything from how you look to how you act. The thumping of his heart can be heard by the fishes below

Cue the shifty eyes, twiddling thumbs, and flushed cheeks

He is honestly so cute. But of course, if anyone asks him what’s wrong, he’ll say he’s fine… sure

He tries to woo you by showing you his helmsman skills. If that doesn’t work he’ll tell you stories about Fishman island. If that doesn’t work… he’ll just listen to you and give his sage advice

The crew catches on quickly. He is just too obvious. That means incessant teasing from all of the members (excluding you)

Most of them find it ironic how he was telling Luffy it was a bad idea to let you on board, to think what it would be like to grab your hand with his webbed fingers

He’s self-aware, but he is also scared since he has never felt this way before

But after getting tired of the teasing, he decided he was gonna take you out for a swim… and whatever happens, happens (aka he’s preparing for a stuttering love confession)

#One piece #one piece x y/n #one piece x reader #one piece senario #one piece imagine #one piece self insert #brook one piece #sanji one piece #one piece franky #one piece zoro #one piece luffy #luffy #monkey d. luffy #vismoke sanji #zoro roronoa x reader #roronoa zoro #nami #cat burglar nami #nico robin #nico robin x reader #jinbei #jinbei x reader #Chopper #usopp #god usopp #luffy x reader #sanji x reader #nami x reader #usopp x reader #franky x reader

[folkloreguk]

French Class [7]

A/N: AAAH I apologize in advance for this part bc I feel like it's kinda messy :/ I hope you still like it though?? Lmk what you think! x

genre: optional bias (m) x reader (f), fwb, f2l?, college!au, fuckboy!bias, nerd!reader, angst, H/N is a jealous and drunk fool :/

words: ~ 3.7 k

✽series masterlist✽

taglist (lmk if u wanna be added!): @lovely-ateez, @runaway-fics, @mainexiii, @awfullytiredbuthealing, @erikyoong, @etherealuv, @yeostars, @staysuki, @justcuz-ican, @hyuckthangs, @teenloves, @mexious18-blog, @sunghoonied, @mailobjaeyoon, @tr-wemoon, @prismwon

couldn’t tag: @chorizoek, @r-eadings

H/N’s POV:

Maybe I’ll come ‘round, your text had said. How did you expect him to enjoy the party if you wouldn’t be there? H/N used to make fun of guys who ran after girls like lap dogs. And yet, over time he had become one of them, if not worse. Every text, every possibility of seeing you had him on the edge of his seat in excitement. There was nothing he cared about more than spending time with you. When at first it had been sexual attraction – an obsession with your body and the way you turned him on with the most subtle words and touches – it had changed into something entirely different. The relentless hunger was now occasional, ever so often interrupted by a dire wish to see you smile. A wish to hold you, and to kiss you out of the blue – something he wasn’t allowed to do if it wasn’t for the two of you hooking up. The stupid agreement you had made was starting to feel like torture instead of heaven. He was lucky his poker face was professional, and he had years of practice in flirting and sounding casual even if his heart was beating up to his neck. There was no other way he could have concealed how infatuated he was with you, otherwise.

“H/N, come help me set up the snacks!” Korain shouted from the kitchen. H/N’s friends were throwing a party at their place, and he had shown up early to assist them in preparing everything. With you on his mind – as always – he trotted into the kitchen where a row of bowls was standing out on the counter.

“Just open and pour the bags into the bowls, will you? I still need to get ready,” Korain said. “Chohee said she might be here a bit earlier, and I don’t want to look like this when she’s going to look amazing.”

Korain gestured to his bed hair he probably hadn’t brushed once since getting up and then tweaked the fabric of his sweatpants and his old, baggy tee. H/N wanted to argue that if Chohee really liked Korain, she wouldn’t mind seeing him this way. H/N, for one, couldn’t care less what you wore tonight. As long as you showed up at all, he would be beaming. Strictly speaking, at times when he got to see you wake up, sleep in your eyes and your clothes in a disarray, it spun his head in ways no little black dress could ever do. When he saw you make breakfast in his kitchen, in his shirt, he could barely contain himself.

His daydreams of you were once naughty and gave him boners at random times of the day – and don’t get me wrong, they still were, sometimes – but it was when the domestic dreams had begun, that he realized he was screwed. He didn’t need anybody to tell him how he felt, nor did he have some crazy moment of clarity. There came a point in his days where he didn’t just notice his non-sexual daydreams of you, he invited them. His brain was imagining things like setting up a shared table for dinner or kissing the back of your hand in the dark of a movie theater or playing you a cheesy song that reminded him of you. He wanted to hold your hands from across the library table and have his arm around your shoulders to show you off to the entire campus. But none of it could be real. It all went against the rules.

“Will Y/N be here too?” Korain asked and pulled H/N out of his daydreams. God, I hope so, he thought.

“She said she might be here,” H/N answered.

“Chohee’s always talking about her. And you. About how she thinks Y/N has a crush on you, but she always denies it, saying you’re just friends. Maybe you could try and bring that up tonight?” Korain said, as if discussing your feelings for someone was as easy at conversing about the weather. “Alright, I really have to go get ready now.”

“I’ve been thinking, I might- “ said H/N, but Korain only pat his shoulder.

“Let’s talk later, at the party, okay?” he said, and walked out the kitchen. I might like her, H/N had been meaning to say. I might like Y/N. No. I’m in love with her. No maybes. He could bet all his money on it, that’s how sure he was. But his friend had disappeared and now it was on him to wait until the party began. Left alone with his thoughts.

Of course, you would deny having a crush on him. Because you probably didn’t, he thought. Wouldn’t you search for a smart guy, someone your mother would approve of, and someone who understood your endless talks of nerdy topics? Although sometimes he had no idea what you were on about, H/N was captivated whenever you gave him a lecture about something you had learned. And when he asked you to explain something one more time, you never hesitated, or judged him for it. Your kindness made his heart swell, and only when the first crowd of party guests arrived did he realize he had spent half an hour daydreaming about you. Again.

With the way he kept the front door in his sight at all times, one could have wondered if he was a highly wanted criminal on the run, afraid the cops could barge in at any moment. Some of the girls who tried to flirt with him even asked him about it, but he wasn’t going to confess he was waiting for the love of his life to walk through that very door. With little conviction he returned their flirting. He hated himself for the thoughts he had. Thinking that should you not arrive, he could console himself by taking one of the other girls home instead. They didn’t deserve to be used like that, but he was bitter and so, so in love with you. It was hard to pay any attention to the other girls at all, no matter how sweet they were being.

Flirting back at them, however, came to him as easily as the words to his favorite songs. It posed no challenge, like it did with you. When he had to try hard to make your cheeks heat up, or to lure out a shy smile instead of your genius, quick-witted remarks. There was nothing more exciting to him than to invent new ways in which he could make you flustered.

Right now, it was his turn to be flustered. Because his ex had approached him and was reciting some of her favorite memories she had of their relationship. “Remember our third date…the one that ended with us squished in that tiny dressing room at Victoria’s Secret?” she asked and blinked at him expectantly. He went along with her words and replied something not too direct, but still enough to make her giggle like a little girl.

It was his own fault she was so intent on talking to him. While you had been on your date with the economy-major-guy, H/N had tried to contact his ex again. In hindsight, he thought it pathetic and extremely stupid at that. Nothing would have come of it, anyway. Not while he felt the way he did about you. So it was only lucky his ex hadn’t been free that night. Then he had gotten dangerously close to drowning his feelings in the vodka in his kitchen. Thankfully he had refrained from this, too, because you had shown up afterwards and you had ended up having mind-blowing sex, and he knew for a fact that had he been drunk, he would have blurted out some crazy sentiments he would have regretted saying in the morning.

Sometimes he tried to signal you his emotions, ever so subtly. Waving off your claims when you called him the campus fuckboy or telling you he wasn’t really hooking up with anyone else besides you, it all was an attempt at making you see what he felt for you. He would tell you that you looked pretty, not just so you would understand he liked you, but simply because it had to be said. When he regarded you fixing your hair in the mirror with a frown, he could barely believe you didn’t know how beautiful you were. And he had gotten closer to you during sex. Whether it was voluntary or an instinct that came with being in love, he wasn’t certain. There was nothing like kissing away your moans while he fucked you into a mattress.

He was about to text you – the urge to see you getting unbearable – but didn’t want to sound clingy when you strut through the door. No slow motion or fan blowing your hair around dramatically would have made you look more perfect. The ridiculous pang he felt in his heart when he saw you hug another guy only reminded him of how whipped he was. He reminded himself that he had no right to be jealous. You weren’t his girlfriend, after all. When you then made eye contact with him and made a beeline for him, he was worried he’d be short of words. He needed to pull himself together.

“Hi,” you said, and your smile was magical enough to stir up the butterflies in H/N’s stomach. You pointed at the empty spot on the sofa between H/N and another guy you didn’t know. “Is this seat taken?”

“No,” the guy said, before H/N had time to speak, and the stranger smiled at you in a way that could only mean he wanted to get to know you. But H/N caught your attention by swiftly putting his arm around your shoulder, making the stranger back up and divert his eyes the other way. He had never meant to be the jealous type. It was just that you were finally here, and he was so happy to see you, he couldn’t bare the thought of you running off again. Only when you gave him a funny look H/N realized he needed to calm down if he didn’t want you to get annoyed.

“So, what did I miss?” you asked.

His ex was approaching from across the room again, and before he could have stopped his mouth, he said the stupidest thing. “Kiss me.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, but he was intent on it. “Please. Kiss me. Quick.”

There was a strange emotion that crept over your face, and you seemed to have no clue why he was so set on it. Nevertheless, you did as he asked. Your mouth tasted of watermelon bubblegum, so sweet, so perfect, and he was flying on cloud nine for the short while it lasted. It wasn’t real, though. The thought stabbed his brain like a dagger. When you pulled apart you were grinning, and his ex wasn’t in the room anymore.

“Care to explain why we just did that?” you asked. “You’re diminishing your chances with the ladies in the room.”

He rolled his eyes. “My ex has been trying to get with me again, and I hoped she’d let off if she saw us kiss. And she did.” Then his eyebrows raised. “What do you mean by my chances with the ladies? I was hoping we could go home together.”

“I can’t tonight,” you said, and he had to fight to keep his face straight. “I’ve got to get back to studying first thing tomorrow morning. I just came here to hang out, for a while.”

“Oh,” was all he could muster without sounding like you were ripping out his heart. It wasn’t even your fault. He would never try and get between you and your studies. But what if he could be there? What if he could be the one staying in bed, watching as you climbed up early to bury your head in books? He’d watch you through tired eyelashes, and you’d ridicule him for being so starry-eyed when looking at you. Later he’d bring you tea or coffee and remind you to take a break to eat. Was it ludicrous to obsess over something so domestic? He didn’t feel guilty for it.

All at once, your laugh pulled him out of his daydream, and into a funny story you told him. Over-consciously, he noted how your arm went around his shoulder lazily. And for a while you sat and talked. Occasionally a flirty remark slipped over your lips, and he would always return it. It was idiotic, but he was already worrying about how much he would miss you once you went home. Perhaps his plan of consoling himself with another girl hadn’t been so bad, after all. Just as he had finished the thought, a familiar face walked by and noticed him. The alcohol in his veins made her seem perfectly inviting as a distraction, for later.

“Oh, hey. Y/N, this is Minji,” he said, pointing at the girl. “Minji, this is Y/N. She’s…just a friend.”

Instantly, you removed your arm from his shoulder. There was hidden pain in your gesture, or was it merely wishful thinking on his side? Minji nodded and greeted you, but you only waved her off with a polite smile.

“I’m going to get a drink from the kitchen,” you announced, and before he could have stopped you, you had walked off. For a while he chatted with Minji, because he had no good reason to run after you that wouldn’t create awkwardness. His patience lasted approximately ten minutes. Luckily, a friend waved at Minji from across the room and she excused herself. Although he would never wish her ill, he was glad she was leaving.

Quickly, he made his way to the kitchen, where he found you talking to a guy. Without thinking, H/N smiled at you as he came up to you and wrapped his arm around your waist. He hadn’t meant to look so intimidating, and he hadn’t meant to be an asshole either. Yet, the guy across from you appeared scared and when you turned your attention to H/N, the guy slowly retracted into another circle of chatting people. Guilt crept in on H/N. He was tipsy, and although he knew his drunkenness wasn’t an excuse, it made him want you so much more. Perhaps it was also insecurity making him act crazy. There was always a glimmer of hope in the back of his mind, that you might just like him back. So long as you hadn’t confirmed the opposite, he would live in constant terror that someone else could steal your attention and make you theirs before he could.

“Come with me,” you muttered in his ear. Your hand was around his wrist, and he had no choice but to trot after you like a child. At first, he thought you were going to take him out the front door, but then you made a turn for the stairs. He didn’t need to be a fuckboy to know what it meant when a girl walked him up the stairs. From one second to the other, his mood changed into gleefulness. Had you changed your mind? The mere thoughts of what could happen upstairs could have given him a boner, had he pondered on them for longer. You said nothing, only driving him more insane by the second. The first open door was good enough for you, so you pulled him inside and closed it behind you. Smirking, he reached for your waist, ready to pull you into a kiss.

“Don’t,” you hissed, and he flinched at your angry tone. He kept his hands to himself, kneading them nervously. Shit. This was the clear opposite of what he had anticipated. The two of you had never fought, and hearing your voice, sounding so deeply upset, scared him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you asked.

“I’m sorry, I thought you wanted to make out- “ he said.

“I don’t mean just now. I mean…what is it you’re trying to achieve by acting all possessive over me in front of random guys? Pretending I belong to you? But the second a pretty girl is in front of you I’m just a friend, aren’t I? What’s that about?”

There was no explaining this, and he knew it. Yet, he would try, pathetically. “I just thought you didn’t want those guys bothering you.”

“I can handle a guy by myself, thank you,” you snapped. “If I needed help, I’d ask. Like you did. Apparently, I’m good enough to be used as an escape from your ex, but when hot Minji came around you wouldn’t even blink when I got up and left.”

“Usedas an escape?” he asked in disbelief. “You didn’t have to kiss me, but you did anyway.”

“That’s because I was trying to be a good fucking friend!” you yelled now, sounding over the music from the party.

“You used me too, don’t you remember?” he countered. “Or did you not show up on my doorstep after your terrible date so I would fuck you and make you feel better?”

You looked taken aback for a moment, knowing he was right, in a way.

“It’s like you’re always trying to get away from me, but you can’t,” he said.

“Oh, fuck you!” you said, every trace of guilt washed away. “Get off your high horse! Isn’t that the whole point of us? That we’re using each other for sex? Nothing more than that, right? If I walked out now, you could go and find the next girl in line to take over instead of me. Didn’t you try to see someone while I was chatting to the guy I went on a date with? It’s all about using people, isn’t it? If things with the guy had gotten more serious for me, you’d have her, ready for you. Don’t you think that’s a little messed up? Leading someone on like that?”

There was truth to your words. He had tried to find someone to date, should you have found someone too and your friends-with-benefits relationship had been over. But he hadn’t led her on. He had been honest in letting the girl know he wasn’t sure if he wanted anything serious. His chest was hurting, and the pain was only making him more furious.

“Yeah, I could have switched you for her,” he said coldly. Was he only trying to hurt you now? Perhaps, but you had hurt him first.

“Right, because that’s all I am to you,” you said, quieter than before.

“That was our plan! You’re my fuck buddy, nothing more!” he raised his voice now, tired of your empty words and signs. “You have no right to accuse me of anything when I’m playing by the rules. The rules you made. Maybe we should go back to the beginning. Start the game over. I don’t even know what we’re arguing about right now.”

“Start over?”

“Go back to when we were just horny for each other and nothing else,” he said, as if that would be possible. As if he could ignore the way your eyes shined, even in the dim light coming from the streetlamps outside. Like he could pretend he didn’t want to hold you and make you forget all about this terrible fight.

“Fine, let’s try,” you said, and he watched in astonishment, as you closed the gap between the two of you. When you tilted your head, he gave you permission by doing the same. When you kissed, with teeth clashing and exhausted sighs mixing up, he swore there were bombs going off somewhere in his head. Alarm bells, too. This was by no means a great idea. But what could have stopped him and his hungry mouth? He backed you against the wall and pressed you into it, hard. Before he had registered it, his hands were pushing up the fabric of your dress and you moaned, sounding so beautiful he could barely believe it. One of his thighs forced its way between your legs while he gripped your waist like his life depended on it.

But then, just as rapidly you had begun to kiss him, you pushed him away. His lungs felt tight when he noticed the affliction and confusion on your face. He wished he could make it go away. But he had caused it, so now his presence only made things worse.

“No- no, I change my mind. This is fucking stupid,” you said. “I can’t do this right now.”

“Y/N,” he said in a gentle tone. Somehow, it seemed that his careful voice hurt you most of all.

“I think we should stop. All of this,” you said. He was beginning to shake his head in disbelief, but you cut him off. “We said there wouldn’t be jealousy, but there obviously is. We should have stopped long ago.”

“But what about starting the game again, from the beginning?” he asked, too afraid of what you would say to even look at you. If you were going to rip out his heart you should have done so quickly, when he wasn’t paying too close attention.

“The game’s over. This is going over both of our heads,” you said. “I- I’m going to go home now.”

So this was heartbreak. H/N had never considered that it could be meant so literally. But he could swear that the muscle inside his chest was convulsing and shriveling as if you had stolen the blood that kept him alive right from his arteries. The pain was sharp like a thousand cuts had been inflicted on his skin, and he struggled for words like your words had taken every of his most elemental abilities.

“I’ll walk you home,” he said.

“No,” you said. “You’re drunk. You’re the one who could need someone to walk you home. And I don’t want you around me right now. Get home safely.”

That was it. No hug. No last, longing look. Just your words stabbing like knives and your ethereal beauty as you turned on your heel and walked from the room, leaving him behind, bleeding out by himself. What had he done?

#optional bias #prism.nw #kpoptopia #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #bts scenarios #kpop fanfiction #exo scenarios #bts angst #nct scenarios #txt scenarios #txt angst #stray kids angst #stray kids scenarios #the boyz scenarios #the boyz angst #optional bias scenarios #pentagon scenarios #pentagon angst #day6 scenarios #enhypen scenarios #enhypen angst #seventeen scenarios #seventeen angst #n.flying scenarios #sf9 scenarios #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez fanfic

[buckybarnesdiaries]

; i'm coming home

© gif credits to the author, i found it on google. if you own it, send me a message with your @.

bucky barnes x reader ⎢ masterlist.

bucky and you met six years ago in romania, but he disappeared. now, he's back.

word count: 1.8k.

warnings/tags: none.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

requests are open.

Six years had passed since the last time he was with you, before disappearing overnight. He didn't give you any explanation, he didn't even leave a note. He needed to protect you, but he also knew how stubborn you were and that you wouldn't let him take that decision for both. So Bucky simply left, breaking your heart in one thousand pieces. You wanted to understand his reasons, but you couldn't. He promised you eternal love, a life together, moving out of New York —maybe to a remote place where anyone could recognize him and have peaceful days, without having to be worried about someone coming after him. About someone trying to hurt you.

Since the very first moment you met in Romania, Bucky fell in love with you. Sometimes you still remembered how he started talking to you in Romanian, guessing you were from there until you laughed and replied in English. The next few weeks were like a daydream. Walks, romantic dates, nights of stargazing. Then, you came back to New York and kept in touch by letters, as in the forties or fifties. Until one day. Your friends invited you to a museum and what you discovered there was unbelievable. James, your James, was Captain America's best friend. And he was supposed to be dead.

You wrote to him. You told him you knew it. You told him you didn't care, that you could figure out how to escape from that situation. Together. But he never sent you a letter back. You weren't able to forget him after all that time, still sleeping every night with his red shirt, stupidly fantasizing about the idea of Bucky coming back to you. And your hopes increased when you watched him on TV. The Avengers found him and, even if you tried to contact them somehow to defend your James, you never got it. Nobody believed you, not even when you showed them the letters, not the only picture you conservated of both of you in Bucharest. You prayed to God to help him. You begged God to the world seeing him as you did.

But when Bucky was released on parole, he never tried to look for you. He did know you lived in New York and, with his resources, he'd have known in less than five minutes. One year had passed, and you ended up losing the most minimal hope wrapping your heart. All those things he told you once, were just lies. Lies to inventing a parallel life until you left Romania. Only replying to your letters to have something to lean on for his own good. That's what he demonstrated to you.

bucky's pov

Like every night since he earned part of his freedom, Bucky stared at the windows of your apartment, from the opposite sidewalk hidden behind a tree. Like a ghost. Like he was trained to see but not be seeing. Every night, he wanted to cross the road, call to your door, kiss you, hug you, feel your touch and your love —hold you, and never let you go again. But he knew it was risky, he knew he had to wait for the right time. And it came. Tonight it came. His year of therapy had ended and he was free. Bucky was free to come back home.

He had been watching you since it started, making sure you were safe and sound. He also was aware that you never rebuilt your life with another man, that you tried to find him. That you slept every night with his shirt. Bucky was also aware of all the times you cried for him, that you always walked the same way from your job to your apartment expecting to meet him in some street close to it. He knew you better than you knew yourself.

Taking a deep, deep breath, keeping his hands inside the pockets of his coat, the soldier put a step on the road. The first step to happiness. And then, no one could stop him. He continued to the front door of the building, not needing more than a push to open it. Third floor, fifth door at the right of the corridor. Bucky licked his bottom lip nervously, swallowing as he took a master key from one of his pockets and a small metallic stick to force the lock of your house. He needed to be fast and stealthy, ringing the bell wasn't an option for very obvious reasons. Breaking into the apartment, he closed the door quietly behind his back.

The lights were all turned off a couple of hours ago when you went to sleep, after sitting on the window of your living room waiting for someone who wasn't going to show up, as every night for the last six years. The whole place smelled sweet like you used to. Bucky never forgot your scent, using it as the encouragement he needed to continue fighting for his freedom, for a life together. Now, his heart was racing so quickly that the whole city could hear his beats.

Slowly, he toured the entrance, the living room, the hallway straight to your dorm. The door was half-closed. Not a single noise coming from the inside. Bucky walked towards it, pushing it in slow motion, trying to not wake you up. And if he knew before that could be that easy to watch you sleep —for creepy that it sounded— he would have watched you every night since he landed in New York.

Bucky wasn't sure about what to do. If he should wake you up, if he should let you sleep and come the next day after you finished your work. When he wanted to realize, he was running the nail of his index finger on your soft cheek. Your skin was still warm, which meant you fell asleep crying again. And that broke his heart, his soul. Being conscious of all the pain and the suffering he made you being through all that time was killing him from inside. And he wished he could have handled your relationship in another way. But there wasn't another way without you being collateral damage of his past.

Bucky was about to leave when he suddenly felt a hit to his collarbone, stumbling to the bed. He didn't have time to react when your right leg was beneath his cold arm and pinning down his neck, as your left leg was laced around it. Your hand gripping his wrist, immobilizing him, pointing at him with a loaded gun between your free fingers. Your breathing became erratic, your pulse was beating faster than ever, but you were ready to shoot if the occasion required it.

In the middle of the gloom you glimpsed at those deep oceanic blue eyes you had been craving to look at for years. The same eyes on the picture on your nightstand. It has to be another dream. Another nightmare where Bucky came to tell you that everything was going to be okay. But his touch felt so real that it hurt like a million flames burning down your body to ashes. You were paralyzed. Your brain collapsed. In a very slow motion, James —your James— raised his right hand from the mattress to above his chest, bringing it to the gun aimed at his head. You couldn't stop him. You tried with all your strength. But the commands sent by your neurons never reached the finger supported against the trigger.

His flesh digits made their way to your trembling hand, as the tears started to sprout out from your eyes. Bucky took the weapon, not needing to ask you to release it, to put it away from the two of you.

“It's okay, draga mea, it's me…” He whispered with such an angelical and melodic voice, over your dolorous sobs. “May I, uh… get my arm back?”

Bit by bit, you obeyed as if it was some kind of polite order, loosening the grip around his arm and over his neck. Stepping back till your body collided with the headboard, you curled up your knees to your furious chest rising and falling, hiding your face between the gap of both. Your cry became louder, agonic, painful, ripping your throat.

“No— Not again… Not again, please… I c— can't”. You implored sorely.

Bucky didn't need to be a genius to understand you firmly believed it was just part of another of your dreams. Another of your nightmares. He sat upon your bed, coming closer to you and landing his cold metallic hand on the back of your head, urging you to raise it. You did. You did raise your burning face because of the tears falling, running down your cheeks. Your blurry gaze focused on his pale blue eyes, begging you silently to forgive him.

“I'm here… I'm back”. Bucky murmured, gently touring your skin until reaching a side of your neck, caressing your throat by using his thumb. “This is not a dream, draga mea. This is real”.

His intentions weren't to scare you, speaking to you with such a honeyed tone of voice as he shortened the distance between his body and your legs yet curled. You pouted unconsciously, watching him leaning above your legs to press his lips on the bridge of your nose. Slowly, fondly. Wanting to transmit to you that the flame of his love for you never went out. Resting his forehead against yours, your right hand flew straight to the back of his neck. You had never needed more than you needed him at that precise instant, trying to believe that that wasn't a trick of your subconscious.

“'M so, so sorry… I had to protect you… I had to protect you”. Bucky explained while closing his eyes, lacing his free fingers with yours. “But, uh… I know you still drink black coffee with mocha and a stick of cinnamon every Thursday. I know you… rent a book from the library and sit on the stairs in your free evenings… I know you sleep with this same shirt every night”.

Discovering he had been watching you all this time provoked your lips to shiver, as your cry became lower and your breathing was calmer. He guarded your days, in the shadows, till the right moment. And it came. Tonight was the right moment.

“I'm free. I'm not an enemy anymore… I'm not a target”. Bucky couldn't help but chuckle to hold back his own tears. “I'm so sorry”.

“Will you…? Will you stay now? With me?” At first, you doubted asking, being afraid of his response for a second.

“No one will ever set us apart again. No one”. He promised you, his heart speaking, telling the absolute truth. “Everything I told you in Bucharest; everything was true. And I… I want it”.

Bucky leaned forward enough inches to make disappear the less distance between both of you, pressing his lips in yours, tenderly caressing your jawline with his thumb as his tears met yours in the corner of your lips. Neither of you could believe that you were reunited after all these years, after all the pain, the loneliness. And like James, your James, said so: no one would ever set you apart again.

feedback is appreciated, please, leave a comment to let me know if you liked it.

and support writers with a REBLOG!!! 🤍

tag list. @whatrambles @phoenixhalliwell @homesicam @marvel-diaries @amelia-song-pond @heartbeats-wildly @met4no1a @weenersoldierr @petlaufeyson @sillygamingartghost @wildflowergubler @isnt-it-loverly @zealouspursecowboydeputy @rvgrsbrns @artisancowbells @plagooey @tinylumpiaa @hemsbucky @bxmaaa @quxxnxfhxll @capxwinter @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul @hateinthemorning @asemistablehundredyearoldman @purpleelfwizard @twinerd14 @nikkixostan @stolenxkissess @wintersfilm @whoreforsamwilson @thatcrackheadsadbitchtm @baconmuffins1216 @28cnn @hxlyhoax @lieswithoutfairytales @angrybirdxx @clownerlyluv @kait-is-always-late @marvel-ousnesss @natashadeservedbetter @ebxny27 @fanofalltheficsx @spider-man-lover @masterlists101 @lewd-alien @warm-sensations @stealapizzamyheart @talk-on-the-street @theresnoplatypus

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan x you #bucky x female reader #bucky x y/n #the winter soldier fanfiction #the winter soldier x reader

[mari-lair]

Norray halloween week Day 1: Ghosts!

If curious, below are some random info about this Teacher/ghost AU

Ray got a gun and he can use it. The ghost gun isn’t able to touch, much less physically hurt anyone, but it replicate the sound of a real gun, which contributed a lot to how low priced his haunted house rent has become. It nearly gave Norman a heart attack the first time he heard it.

After being dead for a while, Ray learned how to turn visible and invisible at will and play around small objects such as paper, shoes and butcher knives. He can control up to 4 small objects at a time or something relativaly heavy like a chair if he really concentrate. The more he got the hang of controling and moving small objects the lower his house rent become, rarely getting aggressive but still able to physically hurt people. On All Hallows Eve he can posses people’s bodies and get out of the house he haunts, but he always ends up back to his empty ‘home’ when the night is over.

Ray is an incredibly fast learner. Just by observing the people that visits his house, he learned a decent amount of modern english and understand the basics of how tecnology is a  thing now -he wished this advanced tecnology was invented when he was alive. It would make the of lack of food and nutrients less of a deadly nightmare in open sea.

As a pirate, Ray used to be the one in charge of doing most of the bloody work and take the night watch, protecting his captain’s back from both outside and inside forces. He was constantly alert, borderline paranoic. But as the years in death passed, he grew more calm, very patient. He usually don’t mind new people in his house, happy to learn more modern english and befriend the guests willing to tolerate him. If a new guest cross a line however,  Ray will do his best to scare them away. Hurt them or kill them by manipulating knives if he sees fit.

It’s very rare for adults to see Ray as anything other than a nonsense they have no energy to deal with or a warning sign for their crumbling lives, so he usually hang around kids. The childish company mellows him with time.

Ray is from a time where death was common and getting hurt was inevitable so what people consider pretty serious is something Ray considers mild “Why are you being so dramatic about seeing some bone? Be grateful your hand is still attached to your wrist after you slaped your daughter. If it wasn’t for her wishes you wouldn’t have legs to run away.”

Norman is considered a genius and have countless prizes under his belt. He wanted to go to the moon when he was a kid but because of his weak health, he knew he would not be acepted in the space program. He decided teaching was the next best thing later on, accepted as a teacher in a prestigious school while still young. He enjoys and understand all subjects but love history the most, unable to deny it was hard and frustrating to teach a whole class of teens at times but still liking his job. Having one student that was genuinaly interested in his class was more than enough to make his day.

When Norman first started teaching, he felt more responsable than he had his whole life. It wasn’t a bad feeling per see, but it made him anxious so he called his little sister Cherry once a week to ask her questions about her teachers and make sure he was doing a good job.

Norman may not be the funniest of teacher but he’s still a favorite for his palpable cares for his students. He does not make the subject easier than is requested but he put a lot of effort into making people enjoy their world history, teaching with passion and seriously answering any questions, no matter how silly or joking it sounds. He’s understanding and try his best to help those with dificulty with the subject, always giving people second chances, having lost countless nights of sleep correcting re-writen essays after deadlines and turning his test questions into podcasts for students with adhd, aware the big historical excerpts are fundamental for answering the test but too hard to focus, specially with limited time.

The lambda crew are problem children. Norman went the extra mile to save Barbara and Zazie from failing classes even outside history and left Vincent startruck with his wide knowladge about not only world history but a ton of subjects he could be teaching too if he wasn’t overworking himself. Norman is both happy to inspire the squad to study hard and also very awkward by their blind admiration.

The teacher had a firm “ghost don’t exist”  mentality, which is one of the reasons he brought the haunted house in the first place. He had chalked Ray up as an halucination from his sleep deprived brain, having the rotten luck of buying the house right after a bad guest owned. The ghost got more annoyed than usual from things as insignificant as Norman keeping the lights on for too long, putting music Ray doesn’t vibe with, or just acting unfairly cute, to more personal matters such as Norman studying about Ray and his family lives. They used to have a distant and bad relationship but once Ray noticed Norman had only admiration for history, being genuinaly kind when trying to talk instead of mocking his existence, Ray apologised. Norman was still wary at first but they quickly hit off, enjoying to learn what the other had to offer and matching in wits.

When Norman catch a fever or a bad cold Ray gets wary. He know, on some level, that medicine have evolved a lot, but he remenbers way too clearly how serious even the weakest of diseases could get if not imediatly treated.  He always stick by Norman’s side when the teacher sneezes, not taking his eyes off him. Usually Norman keep working when he catch a cold, so Ray learned to float Norman’s grading papers out of his reach when coughing joined his sneezes. Floating a paper is enough to get Norman to take a break most of the time, but if the get stubborn Ray will stop playing nice. Just lower his voice to comander mode and order “Rest. Now. Or I’ll make your life a living hell.” and Norman does what he’s told, it’s very unconfortable to have a gun in the face and he does feel very tired.

When Norman is seriously sick, not just coughing but stuck to his bed. Ray freak out and fear for his life. When it reached this level, most of his crewmates died or had to be thrown in the sea to not infect other. Yes Ray know it’s not as bad anymore, but even when he observed guests, they rarely got sick, and when it got bad they where taken to a doctor. Norman lives alone so he got no one to feed him and bring him blankets or take him to the doctor if he lies for hours in bed. Ray was all the help he would get and he is fucking dead, he can’t measure his temperature or take care of him properly. Ray does tries his best though. He concentrated a lot to float heavy blankets and pillows towards Norman. Imediatly fetching any pills asked of him and doing his best to make him tea. It isn’t tasty, but Norman still appreciates his care.

Ray is the first to fall in love, he think “If only I could  kiss this fool and hug him, I would do it on the daily. I wish he was alive back then... He would love meeting Emma...” at least once a week but a big part of him is just “Forget scurvy! Norman would die of cold or malnutricion before he reached 10. Thank god the helpless bastard took his sweet time to be born.”

Ray cannot touch any eletronics, he can’t even come close without phones, computers, and tvs turning to statics, so Norman buys an illustrated book about the Red Mane Pirates for Ray to see his crew again. He know is not perfect but is the best he can offer whenever Ray expresses missing his family.

They read together. Norman occasionally teaching a new word to his ghost and Ray correcting any historical inacuracy. It’s fun.

Norman finds an illustration of an alive Ray sleeping in the mast waaay too beautiful. Ray snort at the romantized draw, disolving into laughter by how Norman failed to hide his blush.

It became a habit to read history books together and tease each other. More often then not, it lead to a history class and way to much sass on both ends.

“Wait, so there really was a world war? I heard about it from old guests but I thought they were exagerating when they called world war! And what do you mean 2? There was a second one??”

“How did miss the second one? It was HUGE, quite horribl-”

“You were not even alive when it happened.”                                        

“Tecnically, you weren’t either Ray-” 

Ray is a bit scared of how attached he got to Norman, knowing eventually the man would die. He hopes it will take a long time, and that once he had a painless death, he will become a ghost too, but he doesn’t really believe Norman will ever turn into a ghost. Ray knows not everyone that dies became a ghost. Since someone as compassionable as Emma -even if she was forced to have blood and dirty choises on her hand to survive the merciless seas- was not cursed to became a ghost, he was confident someone as kind as Norman would dissapear from Ray’s afterlife once he died too.

More of this AU here

.

And since you reached the end of this text wall. You can have this bonus Norman being awkward/excited about their growing friendship.

#norray #the promised neverland #tpn norman #tpn ray #norray week #norrayweek #i still can't draw adult BUT THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT #i don't know much about history so guyhiluojikço #NORMAN SLEEPING POSE WAS SO HARD TO DRAW HOLY SHI- #but i love this au #yiouhoji freaking ship week anxiety tho

[goldentournesol]

The Receptionist and the Profiler (One)

Chapter One: Wins and Losses

(Spencer Reid x f!Reader)

Series Masterlist

General Masterlist

If you’d have told high school senior Y/N that she’d be working at the FBI after graduating college, she would have never believed you. Not only did she have zero interest in law enforcement, she also seemed to lack any athletic skills to back her up. She was nothing like her fiancé, who’d had his heart set on joining the bureau since middle school. She and Grant Anderson were friends in high school and ended up getting together during their junior year. Anderson proposed to Y/N during her second year of college. She’d graduated almost two years ago now, but the wedding date was unknown. They’d been dating for four years and engaged for another four years with the wedding nowhere to be seen. He’d been the first and only boy–and man, to ever pay her half a mind. To her, that was good enough. Hell, she’d been with him for eight years, if she’d wanted to leave him, she’d have left long ago. Right?

Imagine her surprise when he’d told her that his new boss, Aaron Hotchner, was looking for a receptionist for the BAU. Fresh out of college, landing a secure job? That was a miracle, and she really did have to thank her fiancé for it. But everyone around her was so cool and she was just…there. Her job was basically to sort through files, organize Hotch’s meetings, among other things like making reservations at the hotels the agents stayed at on their cases. 

The Agents of the BAU.

They were essentially the coolest people she knew.

First comes Agent Gideon, one of the founders of the BAU. His ability to read people scares her sometimes. How can one man’s beady little eyes have the ability to read people like they were some kind of book stowed away on a dusty shelf? A shelf only he can reach.

Then, comes Agent Hotchner, the unit chief. A stoic man with an even more stoic face. He’s a man who, to put it lightly, takes his job very seriously. On more than one occasion has she met his wife, Haley. They made a beautiful couple in her eyes and they’d just had their child, Jack Hotchner. She never knew how a baby’s face could be so wrinkly–yet so cute. Haley and Aaron were high school sweethearts, much like she and Grant. But that seemed to be the only aspect they shared. Despite his suffocatingly hard shell, Aaron was a loving man. That much was obvious. She wondered if Grant had ever looked at her the way Aaron looked at Haley.

Agent Derek Morgan, where to begin? He was tall, dark, and every bit handsome. His charming nature made all the ladies of the sixth (and fifth, and seventh, and eighth and–) floor swoon over him anytime he walked by. He is one of the bravest men she’d ever known. His ability to put himself in the place of the unsub was something she’d only heard stories about–but it gave her chills every time.

Next comes Agent Elle Greenaway, one of the most headstrong women Y/N has ever met. Her bluntness can come across as harsh, but she knew a woman in law enforcement had to stand her ground to be treated with as equal respect as her male counterparts. She admired her strength.

Agent Jennifer Jareau, or as Y/N knew her, JJ, was a kind hearted, compassionate woman who’s way with words absolutely blew Y/N away. The way JJ handled the media with such finesse was simply astonishing. She knew she could never string together the right words like JJ seemed to, up on those podiums, in front of all those nosy reporters. It was mind blowing to watch her in her element.

Penelope Garcia, or otherwise known as literal sunshine embodied in a technical analyst. She was the best at what she did, hacking, searching, filtering. It was a science, and Penelope Garcia made it look easy. She and Y/N had grown close since both of them stayed at the office while the other agents flew around the country, solving cases. They’d often spend endless lunches together in Garcia’s ‘batcave’ as she called it and was practically hellbent on teaching Y/N how to use Photoshop every chance she got.

And last but certainly not least, Dr. Spencer Reid. She’d never met a man with a more brilliant brain. He was known as the resident genius, the expert on well–everything. The man had an eidetic memory and the ability to read 20,000 words per minute. Is that not the most impressive thing on the planet? Nope, he just has to have three PhDs in three of the most complicated fields of study: mathematics, physics, and engineering, achieving all three before reaching 22 years of age. 

He had joined the bureau about a year after Y/N had started there. She could remember their first interaction like it was yesterday. 

He had been in and out of meetings before spotting Y/N at her desk, where she usually stayed during her lunch break, at least for the first year she was there. She was halfway through a cup of mixed berry yogurt when Spencer came up to her desk to ask where the breakroom was. Y/N directed him to the room and followed his gaze to the yogurt container in her hands before he left.

“Did you know that the origins of yogurt are pretty much unknown, although historians agree that there was no mention of it before 5000 BC? It’s thought to have been invented by the Mesopotamians.” He said as he pursed his lips and raised his brows, as if realizing he made a mistake too late.

“No, I didn’t know that! That’s super cool. You must be Dr. Spencer Reid, right?” She said, giving him her full attention, which made him slightly more nervous than he had been previously. He nodded, a shy smile on his face.

“And you’re…” he looked for her name holder, “Y/N Y/L/N.” 

She giggled and the sound activated some kind of blood rushing mechanism right up into his cheeks, “Yup! I’m the BAU’s receptionist slash Agent Hotchner’s assistant, you know, nothing fancy but I like to think I’m pretty good at sorting through files.” She raised a brow and gave him an adorable smile and suddenly Spencer wasn’t so nervous to talk to her. 

She seemed way more interactive and easygoing than just about 98% of the people in the building. He wondered if it was because she wasn’t an agent. Spencer also wondered if gaining a title like ‘Supervisory Special Agent’ would make him cold like the others, but then he remembered he has three doctorates and already introduced himself with the honorific. 

She picked up on his silence, “You know, you have nothing to worry about, I overheard Agent Gideon talking about you landing the job with Agent Morgan.” She nodded her head towards a tall, muscular man, who Spencer gathered must be Morgan. Spencer smiled back at her, her words easing even more of the tension he collected in his shoulders.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, you should see the massive list of exceptions they have to make to let me into the field.” He said with a ghost of a smile on his face. She had to physically repress a laugh. And right then and there, the seed of a beautiful friendship was planted.

Fast forward to two years after that interaction, Spencer and Y/N became pretty much attached at the hip whenever he was actually in the office and not flying around the country catching serial killers. Their desks were quite far from each other, hers right near the glass doors of the BAU and his across the room right near the railing that had Hotch and Gideon’s offices as well as the conference room. It gave them both perfect views of each other, which they used to send each other encouraging smiles throughout the day, maybe a funny face or two. He always had a way of making her smile, she hadn’t felt the fuzzy feeling of friendship in years. Besides Garcia, Spencer was the only person who had made an effort to get to know Y/N. In the past two years, she’d say Spencer knew her better than anyone else, possibly even Anderson, but that was surely because he was a talented genius profiler…

Budget meetings at the FBI were definitely the most boring types of meetings in the world. She had to be there because she was the one making all the reservations at the hotels, but once they began talking about the jet and fuel consumption–Y/N totally spaced out. Spencer enjoyed the meetings, though. It definitely had nothing to do with the fact that Y/N would sometimes space out and let her head fall against his shoulder. The weight of her head brought him inexplicable comfort and joy. He hates it when people come near him, when did it become so endearing to him for her to trust him enough with such a simple gesture? He found himself attending the meetings and sitting next to her whenever he got the chance, hoping that one day, maybe, just maybe she’ll allow her head to rest upon his shoulder again. Perhaps it was pathetic, but he found himself feeling overjoyed at the thought of budget meetings, they became the only thing he’d look forward to. 

He wondered if this was how Anderson felt when she rested her head on his shoulder, but then his knee would start bouncing and he’d practically feel the envious monster growing in the pit of his stomach, so he’d stop. It certainly didn’t make it any easier to stop when it was so easy to look over and find Anderson leaning against her desk and flirting with her. Technically, he has every right to flirt with his fiancée, but that didn’t stop jealousy from coursing through Spencer’s veins violently.

The team had just landed last night, they were coming back from a case revolving around the famous actress, Lila Archer. Apparently, she’d had a stalker. Y/N couldn’t wait to hear the details of the case, she had watched almost all of Lila’s movies. She eagerly awaited Spencer’s arrival. Just then, she heard the ding of the elevator and saw a very sheepish -and flushed- Spencer with a very playful Morgan hot on his tail.

“Morning, pretty girl!” Derek halted his seemingly incessant teasing to greet her as they walked towards her. Spencer was oddly quiet as he tried to pass by, offering her a small, awkward wave instead of his usual smiley ‘good morning!’, but Derek grabbed him by the strap of his messenger bag. He made it his mission to embarrass Spencer as much as humanly possible when he woke up this morning. What Derek didn’t know was that Spencer wanted Y/N to be the absolute last person to know of what happened. Spencer shifted uncomfortably and was positive he was sweating more than he ever had in his 24 years of life.

“Morning, Derek! So, tell me all about it! Did you meet her? Of course, you met her, duh! What was she like? Was she a stuck up diva like her character in Wins and Losses or was she more down to earth?” Y/N questioned curiously with a hint of excitement.

“Oh, I think pretty boy here has all the answers you could ever wish for. After all, it wasn’t me who made out with a hot movie star in her own pool.” Derek laughed, eyes squinting as he clapped Spencer on the shoulder proudly. Neither of the two men caught the way Y/N’s face dropped. Spencer was too focused on looking anywhere but at her and Derek was too triumphant to look anywhere but at Spencer’s -alarmingly- red face. He attempted to clear his throat when the few seconds of stunned silence became much too suffocating. Derek turned back to Y/N just in time to see her collect her jaw from off the desk and morph it into a smile.

“Spencer Reid, you did what?!” She attempted to laugh in order to lighten the mood, hoping the two profilers wouldn’t pick up on her dis-ingenuousness. 

They hadn’t, thankfully.

Spencer’s shy eyes met her curious ones as he tried to imitate Derek’s proud smile,and he could have sworn he saw a sort of unfamiliar heaviness in her gaze, but it disappeared as soon as it came. 

Could it be? Was she feeling jealous? There’s no way, she thought. But what else could be behind the not so subtle burning feeling in her chest? 

“Um, yeah. She kind of pulled me into the pool with her…” he recounted with a small voice, scratching the back of his head nervously.

“And?” Derek said in anticipation, despite already knowing.

“Alright! We kissed a few times, what’s the big deal?” He huffed, turning to look at Derek and resisting the urge to punch him in the face for embarrassing him in front of Y/N.

Garcia suddenly appeared next to them, catching the looks between the two agents and Y/N’s shocked expression, “Oh! Are we talking about boy wonder locking lips with miss Lila Archer in her pool?”

Spencer’s face dropped, “How do you know about that?!” he all but screeched.

“I’ve got eyes and ears everywhere.” Garcia wiggled her eyebrows at Spencer before sharing a knowing look with Derek which led to a prompt punch to Derek’s arm from him which then led to an over exaggerated yelp of pain.

“I’ve also got photos!” Garcia said, quickly pulling out her PDA and showing Y/N.

“Garcia! How?!” Spencer exclaimed, but it was too late. Y/N was already scrolling through the photos, laughing.

“Spencer, you sly dog!” She laughed, though the situation awoke an unprecedented, seemingly underlying feeling of envy. Spencer rolled his eyes in embarrassment and stormed off in the direction of his desk, leaving the three of them behind. 

The rest of the day went by smoothly, although Y/N had to keep fighting against the way her chest felt tight every time she remembered those photos. She had a feeling she was never going to watch Wins and Losses ever again.

next chapter

feedback is always appreciated!!

#spencer reid #spencer x reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid masterlist #the receptionist and the profiler #goldentournesol #mgg #the office

[codenamesazanka]

After a few good nights of sleep, lots of love and support from lovely followers (<3333), getting most of my brain obliterated by the new chapter, and eating half a bag of candy that was supposed to go towards trick-or-treaters, I can look back and reflect on this dumdum dabi debacle and go what the fuck.

I had completely forgotten that I first called Dabi a ‘fantasy-racist’ in half-jest/half-serious for a dumb post. I should've kept to that sentiment! Sadly I let myself get carried away, and allowed...whatever this shitfest was to occur. I regret that.

This is a whole long-ass essay that I really shouldn’t be publishing. I’ll probably regret it next week, and I just know there’s gonna be so much mockery. I might even deserve it, for posting vulnerability on the internet when I know nothing good ever comes of that. There's nothing I can say to make the people who disagree with me listen; nothing I can do to bridge the divide or alleviate their anger/bitterness/need to wish misfortune upon me. Explanations, sharing of experiences, retorts - not gonna matter. But I promised melodrama in the schedule, and here it is.

I will say, for the nth time, that I don’t make light of irl racism, not at all. Never. I saw a fictional microaggression and the fictional juggernaut plot/theme behind it was familiar to me, so I shared what I thought of it. Via Dabi.

Then some people decided Dabi, anime boy, being called a fantasy-racist - fantasy - is more damaging and harmful (to...?) than me (actual person who faces irl racism btw) thinking, non-maliciously, he gives off echoes of irl microaggressions I’ve experienced, saying so, and getting mudslung for it.

My usual word for fictional depictions of prejudice in things like DnD has always been “speciesism,” because [social construction of race vs real biological differences]. Describing it as ‘racism’ in that context would compound the erroneous idea that real world races are biological, different like orcs or elves. I was the killjoy at a lot of campaigns.

But in the world of HeroAca, Spinner is just as human (and a Japanese “character of color”) as anyone else; his discrimination is, in my opinion, based on a human-invented classification that could not satisfactorily describe all the variations of how body-altering quirks and traits may manifest. Unlike many other works of fantasy/sci-fi, there’s no “justification” for why people want to exclude him: he (and his quirk) is not dangerous - he’s so weak; by himself, Spinner never was a threat to anyone. Same goes for the social category of ‘Heteromorphs’ he belongs to: individuals might have amazing powers that can cause harm, but that’s no different from a non-Heteromorph who has a similar quirk. They’re human, but some treat them as sub-human.

I was fascinated. One of the rare times I felt a work had depicted prejudice with this nuance, and that can actually be called an accurate allegory to racism - and it was from a silly shonen manga, the theme focused on a nerdy green scalie man. Anti-heteromorph discrimination; for short, for a tongue-in-cheek descriptor, “fantasy-racist”. I’ve always added ‘fantasy’, because I can and do differentiate serious irl issues from bnha fanshit. I’ve made sure to add that adjective every time; if I had missed it, it’s by accident.

I did target Dabi for this, partly because I saw him as an overrated character that needed to be made fun of, and partly because his behavior fitted: he uses animal insults for Spinner, Tokoyami, Hawks, and it’s clearly learned behavior from a conservative home. Him calling Spinner ‘Lizard’ was one time, that’s true, but the carelessness is from living in a culture that ultimately hasn't acknowledged people like Spinner as fully human. For Spinner, his whole life had been people calling him a ‘lizard freak’. It hollowed out his heart. I imagined the insult stings, everytime. Even if Spinner let it go, objectively the act itself was still a (fictional) microaggression. Every other interaction Dabi has with Spinner has been, imo, kinda condescending. It’s a headcanon-projection, but what is having a favorite character if not relating to them in irrational ways? And if the story will address this type of discrimination and pain, why not follow the logic and watch it unfolds, keeping an eye on how the message and details are handled?

So I called the one who microaggression’d Spinner - Dabi - a fantasy racist, as a half-truth snark, with imo proper reasoning.

People objected, and one of the reasons given ended up being something I absolutely could not stand: dismissing the remark as innocently ignorant; as the same level of rude as everything else Dabi says. It’s not a big deal, no one should dislike him for just that, this is making things up to slander him. Dabi can be excused because he had it hard too.

The characters and situation are fictional, nothing but ink on paper. But the spirit of it, the essence, the dismissal, reasoning, resentment at it being brought up, the mockery - Much too familiar to me, too close to home.

That’s a ‘me’ problem, I know. My personal take, my freudian damage, my baggage I should’ve kept locked up. I could’ve handled and explained it better. People will not and do not have to give it weight because it’s a children’s story. There’s no harm done, ultimately, not to ‘Spinner’, this fake entity.

It should follow, then, that there’s no harm done to Dabi either, when I tongue-in-cheek call him what he is. Not even a 'real' racist, never - just a fictional one within the context of his world, the context of who he is inside HeroAcaLand.

But, like I said, people acted like Dabi, anime boy, being called a fantasy-racist - fantasy - is so much more damaging and harmful than the experiences I’ve gone through that led to me saying, without real judgment, he gives off echoes of irl microaggressions I’ve seen, vibes of prejudiced jerks I've known, and I’ll point this out in meta or fics because that’s my truth.

I first was told I’m disrespecting actual victims of racism, then finally someone accused me of being white and caring more about fictional furry racism. Anon said I was throwing a (fictional) victim under the bus. Finally, someone claimed I was trying to start a ship war? (What, didja run out of good and actual points to use for discrediting me?) As if my interest in allegorical oppression narratives - as a glimpse into the stories a culture tells itself, the ahistorical myths it perpetuates, the portrayals of marginalized experiences it broadcasts to the world - had been in life-long preparation to win a tumblr.hell anime argument about a ship.

I had never been under the illusion that Spinaraki would become canon because the characters are two guys and this is fucking Shonen Jump. This was never about being envious or hating Dabi (I actually don’t, not enough for this nonsense) to ‘support’ my ship; nor was it about trying to predict, get right, and own anyone over a manga that recently gave us a “fist bump to the earth”.

It had just long rubbed me the wrong way that fandom was reluctant to acknowledge a fantasy microaggression for what it was, when there’s no harm done to just accept it happened, and instead made excuses too similar to the way real microaggressions are dismissed, similar enough to give me hives tbh. Labeling Dabi a ‘fantasy racist’ - fantasy! - was me irreverently pushing back against that. Not my best decision, I’ll confess; not at all the best application of my brain; but neither was it something I was trying to force people to accept. It’s my observation and interpretation that I’m allowed to have as a reader, and I’m happy to let others disagree. If I did come off as aggressive and forceful (I know I snapped a bit in my explanations 🙇🏻‍♀️), I sincerely apologize for the misunderstanding.

I apologize for a lot of things, actually. I lost my temper a few times, and I got patronizing; I’ve made fun of asks and I’ve greatly irked quite a few people. In my attempt to prove I wasn’t white and to provide context for why I was not ‘making shit up’, I let things get a bit too personal, unloaded unnecessary backstory, and made unfair reaches. I started treating “fantasy-racist” as a serious thing, when even I didn’t mean it to be. I’ve definitely made a bigger deal out of this than it ever deserved, and I know I’ve made people uncomfortable by implying, in their eyes, their favorite character is evil and irredeemable for being a *fantasy*-racist.

(Which, that was never my implication; I don’t believe that at all. If I hate and condemn as hopeless everyone for any ‘small’ (and actual, irl) racist thing they’ve ever done, I would need to sever all my connections to this world. The thing about having experienced and dealt with racism, to me I think in my personal opinion, is needing to learn the mandatory survival skill of not letting anger empty out your heart, and to keep optimism that people and things can change regardless of how bleak the road might seem.)

For all my faults, though, I don’t think I had ever directed hate towards anyone personally or specifically - always either at the character, or the floating general fandom sentiment. I don’t ever wish for anyone to have a bad day - besides the fact that I’m kinda superstitious and I’ll feel guilty-sick knowing I brought misfortune to anyone, that’s just not the kind of person (and blog) I want to be. If I’ve hurt anyone, I’m immensely sorry and I hope you’re feeling better, especially on this Halloween night. 🎃

But towards me, particularly and specifically me, what I got— The accusations of true harm, of actual racism; of lying, of doing all this for a silly ship, of having brainrot; The gossip and vagueing, the wish for one of my fav characters to die presumably so I’ll have Real Sadness in real life; The involvement of other people that had nothing to do with this, the emotional effort friends and followers had to extend towards me to make sure I’m okay (for which I’m eternally touched and grateful for!); and - though likely unintentional on my detractors’ part - all I’ve been made to feel these past few days: unease, uncertainty, doubt; the anxious rumination whether I do deserve the hate, if I was being childishly malicious, if I was committing all that I was accused of, wondering if I shouldn’t write meta anymore if I got everything so wrong and biased—

In the end, mostly, I feel amused, flabbergasted - and just a bit hurt that somehow anime fiction man is the victim to be protected from my supposed cruelty and hysteria, his honor and dignity of more importance and worth.

Maybe it is, and maybe he is! No idea. He resonates with more people than I ever will. But how I see it, is that while Dabi, (admittedly well designed) lines on a paper, will never meet me, will never hear and take to heart my insults, (though I guess his fans can, on behalf of this fictional, nonexistent character),

I saw and heard very clearly all of the hate given to me, and it’ll be floating in my blood and flesh mind’s eye and ringing in my skin and cartilage ear for a while. At least until the end of the year.

I started this blog because of the pure and sheer adoring love I had/still have for Shigaraki Tomura. These past three years have been so much fun, following his story, becoming enamored with other characters. I've made friends (<333), I’ve met real cool people, and I’m overjoyed beyond words that people apparently like hearing about my ideas. When I began, I swore the blog’s vibes would be as nice and cheerful as possible. I wanted to be (and hopefully have been) somewhat informative, and to share (at times questionable) knowledge with others. I have always tried my best to be objective and self-aware; if I can’t, I acknowledge my bias, shortcomings, limitations. (If I ever annoyed anyone with my excessive ‘I think’s and ‘maybe’s, that’s why.)

It’s been a little hard to keep that going, though I know I'll toughen through. I just wish my sincerity could’ve gotten through and this could’ve been settled quicker and with a lot less stress on everyone’s part.

Anyways, if you actually read through all this, that’s super amazing and kind of you. I hope I didn’t give anyone secondhand embarrassment. I hope I don’t give myself future-secondhand embarrassment. Happy Halloween.

#dumdum debacle #nalslastworkingbraincell #this is such a bad idea #but I needed to write this #if only for my own sanity #not necessary to reblog

[sassysnowperson]

writer's meme - TY to @r0b0tb0y for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

168 - oh man that's more than I'd realized. I passed 150 and didn't even notice!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,133,901

So many.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Since r0b0tb0y and I were just talking about this, I conveniently have a list of all 20 ranked by number of works

134 - Star Wars 7 - Original Works 7 - Marvel 2 - Pirates of The Carribean 2 - The Old Guard 2 - Discworld 1 - Good Omens 1 - Leverage 1 - The Good Place 1 - Avatar: The Last Airbender 1 - Ocean’s 11 1 - Harry Potter 1 - The Goblin Emperor 1 - Gundam Wing 1 - Star Trek: TNG 1 - Hades (Videogame) 1 - Sailor Moon 1 - Russian Doll 1 - Mummy/Wonder Woman crossover

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lol, looking at my top five - it falls into two categories

1. Fics I wrote right at the height of a fandom's popularity that got a massive reader boost because it was the Hot Thing Right Then

2. Star Wars Fix-Its

~

A Series of Better Decisions - A Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin SW Prequel Trilogy fix-it where Anakin talks to Obi-Wan and spends Revenge of the Sith in a stressed-out bisexual panic instead of becoming a Space Fascist. He winds up fake-poly-dating Obi-Wan to try to bring down Palpatine, and eventually winds up in a better place due to the power of Quitting Your Job and becoming a househusband.

Galactic Response Time - Captain Marvel - an at the time MCU canon-compliant gen fic that ran the universe forward and explained how Carol really TRIED to show up for all those other crises that happened, but it turns out most of the major MCU disasters only lasted like three days and space is real big, y'all. Featuring Nick Fury cathartically bitching with his Space Bestie.

New Lands for the Living - Fix-it where the sequel trilogy ends Even Worse, Poe goes back in time to mercy-kill the timeline, and much to his dismay winds up married to just-before-Original-Trilogy Luke Skywalker. He has an existential crisis about his own existence, meets some competent women, and starts fixing things.

Life's Little Pleasures - The Good Omens fic where I put all my ace feelings, featuring metaphysical bonding and good scotch.

Flustered - Another Padme/Anakin/Obi-Wan SW Prequel Trilogy fix-it, where Order 66 never happens. Anakin gets some therapy and Padme gets a horrible crush on Obi-Wan.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! I love getting to talk to people about fics, and I so appreciate people making the effort to comment I want to spend some time with them! It's so much easier not to comment, I know.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm this is not my normal wheelhouse. I usually go angst that gets resolved by the end. Let me look to see what the options are.

Okay, I think we've got two contendors: In Waystation an exhausted Poe Dameron crash-lands in a station where a Bodhi Rook that lived and then hid now lives with Baze and Chirrut. There is a little epilgue that implies they're going to meet again, but the bulk of the fic does end with Poe making the decision to go back to the Resistance, and leaving Bodhi behind. Still, I think it's more wistful, rather than angsty.

Time Enough for Mourning takes it though, I think. Davits Draven/Antoc Merrick, that is entirely about Draven mourning the fact that Antoc has died. The end is still, I think, more cathartic than angsty, but it is overall probably the strongest "break out the waterworks" of my fics.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I do occasionally, usually when someone prompts me and I find something in there that makes my brain go!!! I think the strangest is probably The Face Underneath. It's a Cassian Andor/Elim Garak fic where I drag Garak into the Star Wars Universe for a triple drabble series where he is an old mentor of Cassian's.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Mmm, not proper hate. Realtalk, the most devastating one for me was when I posted a fic that the only comment was a spelling critique.

And yes, there was a spelling error, but still, very crushing to have that be the only feedback. (It has since found a few readers that said nice things, very healing :D)

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes! Uh - consensual, between adults, often M/M adults, tho I have written explicit femslash, hetfic, and poly piles. It's usually affectionate, often plays with power dynamics even if it doesn't go into full dom/sub.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that anyone has made me aware of, I've never looked.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Had a request or two, but never been linked the result - so not sure if it didn't happen or if I just didn't get linked. I welcome it!

I have had several fics podficced, and I LOVE that. What a joy! Making a blanket permission statement that allowed podfic is one of the best decisions I've made as a fic author. Suddenly, Podfic!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Once or twice! I like the idea of doing it, but follow-through is hard. Hoping to do some co-writing soon though, so we will see!

What’s your all time favourite ship?

Sorry, unrepentant multi-shipper here. I like possibilities, and finding the story that will bring people together, more than one specific thing.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't have ANYTHING I've given up on, but there are a few fics in my unpublished drafts that were beautiful ideas, and really struggled to become contained stories. They all want to be sprawling things, and I have not felt sprawling-thing-writing passionate about those ideas. But, you never know! Inspiration may strike.

What are your writing strengths?

I'd say character voice, along with that, dialogue. Also humor moments that still have real weight and don't undercut the story, as well as straight comedy writing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

You see, I, uh, do this thing where I don't really end a sentence - I think about ending it, I even assume, at some point while I'm writing that I have ended it; I have not and it meanders, persistently, until I have constructed a whole paragraph made out of one chain of words and a hodgepodge of punctuation.

Also the thing where I accidentally use an unusual word five times in one paragraph because my brain has grabbed onto it like an excited puppy and keeps offering it up as the Perfect Word.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love having multilingual characters. When writing, I tend to keep all the words in English and use dialogue tags to denote language shift - unless I am inventing the language, or have a speaker of that language willing to beta the bits to make sure I don't mess them up too badly.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Actually wrote and posted? Rogue One.

Fandom of my heart my younger self spun out stories in my imagination about? Where if I had my own computer and easy access to a fic archive they almost certainly would have become spectacularly earnest fics?

ReBoot and Sailor Moon. The Sailor Moon was an AU that took place on the sun and they all had kick-ass horses. Baby Sass knew what was up.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Nope, sorry, can't pick, love them all in different ways for different reasons.

Tagging: @semisweetshadow, @anamelesstraveler, @jules-of-the-crown - and generally if you follow me and want to do it, do so and tag me in it!

#fic talk #about the writer #long post #text post

[benevolent-savage]

this is what happens when u enable me lets go

(spoilers ahoy)

Firstly, here’s some somewhat miscellaneous reasons that don’t contribute to any sort of narrative analysis but are still parts of the character I like.

His boss fight is my favorite in the game thus far. It’s not super hard, but it isn’t super easy either, and I even managed to solo it on my Balance after a few practice rounds. Sufficiently challenging without feeling unfair.

His boss fight music. It is a bop and a half, go give it a listen, my soul ascends from my body a few centimeters every time I hear it start up.

His voice. I’m sure it’s processed at least a little but gotdamn his voice is so deep and spooky it startled me when I first heard it. Very curious who his actor is; I think he and Inyanga Whitestripes share the same one. Either way, very well voiced and acted.

His design is very good. It’s the perfect mix of innocuous but also spooky sorcerer fella who knows some shit. And I was afraid that the designers would try and make him like. Handsome? Under the hood? To try and make him more sympathetic? But they didn’t and I’m glad for it.

With those out of the way, the next thing to establish, I guess: I don’t interpret Old Cob to be the main villain of arc 3, nor do I interpret Raven as such. They’re definitely antagonists, but they’re not the ultimate problem; the ultimate problem is their divorce, and how they keep dragging people into their bs. It’s established the Aethyr is a physical manifestation of their anger towards each other, and as it thins, communication between them becomes possible, as Sparck puts it in this thinly veiled metaphor toward the start of Empyrea part 2.

But Cob’s still an antagonist and I love him so I’m gonna talk about that. Most of this is going to be talking about his motivations for doing what he does, since I don’t see him quite as the ‘likes to watch the world burn for the hell of it’ archetype that others might.

One of the reasons that drew me to his character is how legit his gripe is, when put in perspective. Old Cob- or Grandfather Spider, if you prefer- is not a mortal like the other antagonists of previous arcs, which establishes he has a different thought process right off the bat. This new universe was built on his suffering and he has a grudge against the ex wife who made it, so as a god, it makes some sense he’d try to destroy it and build one he would like better. He’s fully aware that what he is doing will hurt people but decidedly doesn’t care, and I appreciate that so much. He’s chaotic as fuck and he owns it, along with his superiority complex that’s as wide as the day is long.

Yet his reasoning is like. Weirdly understandable? Like, if my ex-whatever put me in jail for a lifetime sentence and stole my kidney to pay for a new house or something, I too would go apeshit and want my fuckin kidney back. That’s mostly how I interpret his situation. He’s not doing this for hell of it, he’s doing it because he wants to get back at his ex because he’s bitter and petty and for the most part he knows this but he feels justified in doing do because she ripped out his goddamn kidney- I mean heart, and he wants that back.

And then, even after all that, he and his magic are treated as if they’re inherently evil. While, sure, Shadow is a ‘dark magic’, its actual properties aren’t anything malicious by itself. It is described as “a magic that changes reality,” and that’s it. Incredibly exploitable and you should practice caution while handling it, but used correctly it is powerful and helpful; this is likely alluding to the backlash mechanic, where likes decrease the percent of damage you take, dislikes increase the percent, and I imagine the person meant to be the literal embodiment of the magic in question to be similar in nature: not inherently harmful and lashes out if he feels he’s been mistreated.

Going off that, I’m not sure he ever wanted the FirstWorld to be destroyed, and therefore believes his incarceration to be entirely unjust; he doesn’t deny that he instigated the fight between the Titans, but when it comes to being accused of its actual destruction, he gets angry.

...Okay the written text doesn’t really display how mad he got here, but he was like. Big Angy. Super offended. Honestly, a big part of why I love and analyze the hell out of his character comes from how his VA delivers his lines and his voice in general. If you haven’t heard it for some reason, I recommend looking it up. Anyway, here he’s basically saying he didn’t destroy the First World, and even if he did, he’s suffered enough punishment because of it, to my interpretation. The only one I remember blaming him for it is Raven; Bartleby was there, and I don’t recall him blaming anything other than the Titans for it. This is of course not accounting for the various changes made to the lore since he was introduced, but they could have easily thrown in a line like ‘And now Spider plans to destroy the Spiral the way he destroyed the FirstWorld!’ or something to make it clear it was done intentionally.

And this may very well be straying into headcanon territory here, but I think he holds positive relationships very closely to him, even if things went sour in the end; he clearly still has some remaining affection for the Titans, calling them ‘the children’ and being incredibly angry at Raven for forcing one of them to destroy his Heart.

When Rat loses in Polaris he shows up to praises his efforts and even comfort him, in his own weird way. He reprimanded Scorpion in Mirage, but it’s because Scorpion wasn’t doing what his dad asked him to and got his ass kicked as a result. As for Bat, every time they’re in the same room together he pays him some sort of compliment.

Bat claims that he and his brothers are meant to be his tools, and to some extent that’s true, but he also genuinely cares about them, and it’s really interesting to see a villain defect from the usual ‘not caring about anyone other than themselves’ and openly show affection for his kids while still managing to be an incredible asshole.

In line with this is his relationship with the Wizard. There is, of course, a foundation of manipulation to their dynamic, at least to some degree. I thoroughly believe that Spider was overshadowing Coleridge, at least partly, so our character could bust him out of prison.

And while this is happening, he regains some of his spent power and removes threats to it as well, namely Morganthe, using the Wizard’s help. In fact, I have very little doubt that he was at least partially responsible for her fall; his timing on that two-liner was too on the nose.

But even with that, I think he genuinely treasures the Wizard’s help and company, which is why he attempts on four different occasions to either sway them to his side, or warn them away from what he’s doing.

Boy, I want that vacation, but it’s your fault I’m here.

And then, of course, his relationship with Raven, something that is basically a summation of his character arc. Laden with baggage and tragic in concept, it is my belief that most of what he’s doing isn’t because he genuinely hates the Spiral or he wants to get back at her, but because he loved her and treasured their relationship; so upon her mistreating him, he lashed out at everything she’d made and detested it as a result. But only because he felt betrayed and hurt so he has to inflict that on other people because he is, as aforementioned, a petty and bitter old fuck.

Moving off that line of thinking, an admirable quality he possesses is how smart he is. This guy has so many wrinkles in his brain it must look like a raisin. Well, perhaps not ‘smart’ exactly, but how good he is at manipulating certain situations to his advantage. Like in Mirage; you just know that he was fully expecting Mellori to be there and fully planned to use her as a back up plan, or you could even argue that the whole debacle in Mirage was a ploy to get his hands on her, while having the added possible benefit of things actually working out.

Actually his scheme in Mirage was really interesting now that I think about it. His aim was to turn back time to when the FirstWorld was whole, further implying that he never wanted its destruction in the first place. It would also, of course, be a time where he had his Heart and would have the ability to avoid having it ripped out again. This would involve not having the Titans fight each other again, or at least not starting it and suffering the consequences. It would be everything he wanted to achieve knocked out in one go with minimal muss or fuss, compared to other methods. It’s probably a part of why he shows up personally to bargain with Eerkala and the Cabal, and why he directly intervenes in our Wizard’s efforts to stop him; it was too important to trust to any of his kids, so knowing Scorpion probably wouldn’t have been able to execute it anyway, he used his kid as a distraction for the most part.

I also like looking into the fact that his element, besides Shadow, is Storm, as opposed to pure Shadow or Death, as most major antagonists are. Storm is a school based on invention, experimentation and improvement. This is something that interests me for two reasons: one, the magic of major antagonists is always a part of their character, Malistaire the most blatantly, and two, because of this line he says in Mirage.

To my interpretation, this would imply that he sees the Spiral as something that could be improved. And as a god, he would of course find it his obligation to try and fix this flaw. When he made the barter with the Cabal, I don’t doubt he was being at least partially honest about restoring the FirstWorld; it would certainly fix the flaw it has in the context of stealing his internal organs, but he would also probably seek to improve it, make it more suited to Shadow or something.

Something else I find intriguing is how weirdly honest he is; I don’t recall him ever lying to us once, unless you count omitting certain facts as lying. But that’s absolutely something I can see him using against people, like “I didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t tell you, your fault for not asking ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ .” As said before, he;s really good at manipulating people and he weaponizes whatever he can; @that-wizard-oki​ made a really great post about how he uses conflicts- his fault or not- to his advantage, and does his own thing in the background without interruption, Mirage and Neumia probably being the best example of this, with Scorpion and the Cabal serving as distractions while he either carries out things himself or gives instructions.

To pull all of this together narratively, I think it’s important to consider this line from Mellori during one of their confrontations:

He feels powerless, so he puffs up his god status. He has little power to fight with, compared to before, so he mostly manipulates and creates back-up plans while causing conflicts to serve as distractions. His love hurt him, so he lashes out at others and drags them into his problems.

You may ask, “But Sam, these are all bad qualities, why should we like him because of this?” And I would respond “Because it makes him a complex and interesting antagonist.” The kind of character that executes his shitty actions in such a way that you can’t help but respect- even just for the level of dramatics put in to it- while also having a motive that makes you stop and consider that maybe he has a point but is very much handling the situation the wrong way.

Like, c’mon, he ticks so many villain boxes. Tragic backstory? Check. Blatant thespian who owns it? Check. Gets his hands dirty before the climax of the story? Check. Smart/ manipulative/ has back-up plans? Check. Understandable, strong motives? Check.

He’s got layers. Like onion. I felt like there was always something new to discover about him, and for that I can assert my opinion that he’s one of the best characters in Wizard101.

lmao if you read this far into my simp-for-shithead post congrats. feel free to shoot me more asks on the subject bc i cant write persuasive-essay-esque format anymore my brain is rotting. if you will excuse me, im off to listen to the chronoverge combat track for the 82937487734th time

#i get that a lot of people havent gotten far enough into the game to meet him but I ENCOURAGE U TO TRY BC HE'S A GOOD AND FUN CHARACTER OKAY #i need more cob content >:U #wizard101 #w101

[inamindfarfaraway]

How To Train Your Dragon: A Soaring Success

[Note: I wrote this review as a persuasive writing assignment for GCSE English Language.]

Being a childhood fan of the book series by Cressida Cowell and formerly a staunch hater of the film adaptation on grounds of unfaithfulness, I was pleasantly surprised to find my unreasoning “But in the book -” bluster didn’t hold up. The basic premise is the same: a nerdy Viking boy named Hiccup befriends a dragon he calls Toothless; (mis)adventure ensues. The film does seem to have a more serious tone than I remember in the books, with genuine heart and realistic drama to offset the comedic antics. But what won me over was that it took inspiration from the books, yes, but never tried to stick to them fanatically or maliciously disrespected them, instead making the absolute most of its different medium and tackling the premise with its own unique flare.

You’ll see it how it makes the most of being an animated movie right from the start. True to Dreamworks’s reputation, the animation is gorgeous. Lush greenery in the forests; chilly, choppy, practically photorealistic ocean; weathered wood and stone surfaces making up the Viking village of Berk; intricate fabric; and spellbinding lighting effects all help to immerse you in the world - even the dragons themselves, especially the irresistibly cute Toothless, have as plausible proportions and anatomy as possible borrowing physical and behavioural traits from many real creatures while maintaining a cartoonish uniqueness. They actually felt like dragons to me for the first time in a long time, not just horses/dogs/etc. with a fantasy filter. The classic ‘fire-breathing winged vertebrate quadruped’ formula and aforementioned animal traits keep their creative designs grounded, but generic dragons these are not. Oh, and the humans’ designs and movements radiate personality and charm too. The voice acting, sound effects, and John Powell’s soundtrack are equally breathtaking. You’ll be humming the themes for days. Standout scenes of these two aspects harmonizing beautifully are the sequence of Hiccup and Toothless slowly building mutual trust (backed by the touching instrumental track “Forbidden Friendship”, aka the point the abundance of good reviews clicked), Hiccup’s exhilarating first proper flight on Toothless (backed by “Test Drive”, which I can only describe as the pure terror, wonder and majesty of flying in musical form), and his later “A Whole New World”-esque ride with his love interest Astrid (backed by “Romantic Flight”). In a bold choice they have barely any dialogue between them. If you want to know what flying feels like, watch this movie.

Hiccup and Toothless really carry the story, their personalities and unlikely friendship instantly compelling. Apprentice smith Hiccup is a witty, intelligent, mechanically inclined, somehow both wise and naive teenage outcast whose warlike society - his well-intentioned, but stubborn and overprotective father Stoick the Vast in particular - dismisses his lack of grace and physical ability, leaving him yearning to prove himself. Killing a dragon is considered a rite of passage, since the fearsome beats conduct regular raids of food on Berk and destroy property. A war has raged between the species as long as anyone can remember. So he manages to capture the fastest, scariest dragon known to the Vikings: a Night Fury. Nobody’s ever seen one up close, or at least done so and lived to tell the tale. Except the Night Fury is discovered to be no more intrinsically evil than any other animal and expresses his curious, clever, friendly personality to the extent that Hiccup can’t stand to take such a humanlike life. Toothless is not only a lovable pet, he soon becomes the boy’s best friend. Guilty about disabling the draconic deuteragonist’s flight when his invention captured him, Hiccup works to restore it through science and stumbles upon the art of dragon riding and revolutionary idea of actually understanding dragons in the process. The rest of Berk... does not take this well. Especially anti-dragon hardliner Stoick, who embodies everything Hiccup isn’t. Did I mention Stoick’s the chief of the tribe?

I’ll admit, the plot can be predictable at times. You know Hiccup’s secret will come out. You know he and his dad will have a big falling out and then reconcile. You know the skills he was mocked for at the start will allow him to succeed. Astrid as a character was interesting, a cool, confident foil to Hiccup, yet refreshingly openminded and astute compared to the other Vikings. But her romantic suplot seemed rushed and a little tacked on for the sake of it.

There were still enough twists to keep me engaged. Blacksmith and dragon defence trainer Gobber’s markedly more likeable than his book counterpart and genuinely entertaining. I didn’t think I would like Stoick, but he did have moments of sincerity and vulnerability that made all the difference. His relationship with Hiccup was a realistic one of ultimately unconditional love and care strained by poor communication; conflicting views and interests; disappointment and disrespect on Stoick’s side; and insecurities clouding Hiccup’s judgement, exacerbated by societal pressure; culminating in a heartbreaking rejection that gravely hurts both of them. They echo each other throughout the film, showing their similarities. In one scene they attempt a hilariously/painfully awkward heart-to-heart where neither is able to just be a normal human being. Every scene felt perfectly paced, neither too long too too short, and little parallels like that tied all the character arcs together into a cohesive character-driven story.

The human and dragon war turns out to have human and dragon aggressors. Although peace and understanding is great, sometimes violence is unavoidable. To my infinite relief the final message is not another easy repeat of ‘Be yourself’: Hiccup already knew that, he wanted to defeat dragons with brains, not brawn, and have his individual strengths celebrated. Instead it’s more along the lines of ‘Compassion and a progressive mindset can be more beneficial than irrational traditionalism and fear’, plus a dash of the real meaning of courage and power of friendship thrown in. And Toothless and Gobber’s prosthetics demonstrate a mature approach to disability poignantly brought to the fore in the denouement.

In conclusion, if you can suspend your disbelief and accept a little unoriginal storytelling, go ahead and enjoy the vibrant characters, entrancing world, gripping action, emotional rollercoaster (or should that be dragon ride?) and royal feast for your senses that is How To Train Your Dragon.

#how to train your dragon #httyd #httyd 1 #httyd movie #dreamworks #httyd review #movie review #film review #my review #i still haven’t watched the second and third films #can’t find a streaming service that offers them free #but i will! #i have watched riders/defenders of berk #and some of race to the edge #the channel i watch it on hasn’t posted in a while #but i do like it #i think hiccstrid works much better in a show format #more time to develop and work through stuff #it was fine in the movie just not as good as everything else