#has really been fucked up

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

[ministarfruit]

day 24: plagued by the horrors ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

#minifemslashfeb2024 #heathers #heathers the musical #heather chandler #veronica sawyer #chansaw #I love my girl veronica. she has every illness #every illness meaning being a teenage girl with repressed rage #you know how it is with teenage girls with repressed rage #that is JD's hand but this ain't about him #this month has just been me drawing ghosts basically #I THINK IT'S FUNNY IF YOU SEE IT AS CHANDLER HAUNTING HER AND JUST BITCHING AT HER CONSTANTLY #hey veronica! you fucked up! hey veronica! you fucked up! hey v #veronica does really go through it though. #IS THIS MY FIRST TIME DRAWING HEATHERS? #WELL THERE YA GO

[charlie-artlie]

Bonnie in the real world 💖

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf #glamrock bonnie #fnaf ruin #fnaf security breach #arts #obligatory ‘’i’m sure this has been done before’’ #showing up fashionably late to the barbie memes party #but this really is like. the core of my fanon interpretation of him and the glamrocks in general #one day i’ll write the fucked up melodrama fic that lives rent free in my head about this very topic

[ruporas]

the song of humanity will continue to be sung

#vash the stampede #trigun #trigun stampede #he means so much to me he means sooooo much i love him so much asfuahghdsgnkdsgk #VASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i posted it on twit but i was REALLY dreading ep 11 bc i figured that vash might cry #but instead he screamt into agony in which i cant even rewatch the episode #bc the va did such a good fucking job in conveying that terror and grief and guilt and it fucks me up so bad #vash makes me sad in EVERY adaption but stampede is like #we've only seen him be kind. he's just nice. he's serious and he's nice and he's kind. he treats everyone with so much delicateness and care #and the only time he raises his voice is for the protection of others and warning them #and now he's rung the wranger and i now have a hammer to knives' side #not even trying to be dramatic its just been awhile since a character has mattered to me in this kind of way #ruporas art

[prinsomnia]

smitten 🦋

#illustration #aesthetic #butterflies #fantasy #flowers #maximalist #romance #sapphic #purple #pink #magic #digital art #art ph #art fart #prinsomnia #portfolio #this piece was a bit of a “one for them one for me” sorta thing #i've been so busy with my day job and just clearing out my backlogs and it was so hard for me to realize day by day how little i do for mys #myself anymore. #more and more i feel trapped in a really fucked up world. but nothing that a nap can't fix!! #i hope life has been kind to you. and i hope you have been kind to you. <3

[andthebeanstalk]

Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!

Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*

Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!

#original #the last unicorn #tlu #peter s beagle #molly gru #schmendrick #schmendrick the magician #two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first! #my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped! #no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different. #to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life! #but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol #because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb #the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!! #my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘 #i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful. #and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE #mostly zoro's blades from One Piece #normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and #then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU #and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele

[soups-archive]

Honestly, I don't think people give qCellbit enough credit. As much as he can be blinded by his own self depreciation, he knows his husband.

And there is something deeply wrong with "Roier."

Props to cc!Roier for his acting, because as someone who's been watching the both of them for almost a year now, the way he plays Doied with qCellbit makes my stomach churn a little bit.

It's an almost perfect impression of qRoier, but it's wrong in the ways that matter. He's a little too careless. A little too surface level in his portrayal.

He feels like if someone watched Roier's pov and took his attitude at face value without bothering to consider any of the nuances underneath. Which is, I guess, what Doied actually did.

He hits Cellbit with a sword when he's under-geared just "for fun". He stands back in fights when Cellbit's calling out for help. He nonchalantly brings up Bobby in order to convince the eggs and Cellbit to leave. He tells Pepito that he's Pepito's only parent and that Pepito is only his son. The small details all add up together and the result is something immensely off.

It's VERY well acted, and it's the kind of difference that only someone who spent a long time with a character could pick up on, which is exactly why I think qCellbit seems to have caught on so quick.

#qsmp #soup speaks #like dude roier is fucking KILLING IT #he is selling this shit so hard #and to be clear: #i dont think qCellbit has fully picked up that Doied is a different person yet #but i do think he can tell that something is REALLY fucking wrong #he felt a lot more distant towards 'roier' today #and with the shit he's already seen on this island its not gonna be long before he realizes roier's been replaced #as a viewer every conversation they have feels so.... uncanny #and that is as an outside observer #i cannot IMAGINE how weird it must be for qcellbit

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

"See you tomorrow"

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]

#better drawn mdzs #MDZS Disco Elysium AU #mdzs au #Lan wangji #wei wuxian #yiling laozu #Happy Belated Halloween! #digital art #Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone. #I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen. #Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture. #Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now #Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen. #The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers. #My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene. #The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined. #It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change - #You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time #You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts- #You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember. #WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.

[peachyutdr]

i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D

#undertale yellow #uty #my art #<- ifg #spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad #that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways #CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO??? #i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly #but THE CUTSCENES?!?!? #JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD #ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO #LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER #ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD #BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK. #AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE #n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of #everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS #WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING #AAND THE GROUP HUGG #I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD #AND THE FUCKOGN #THE F U C K I N G #AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD #to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho #and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump #just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece #anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way #this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to #oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig

[rudeboimonster]

~help your local rat get stable housing~

edit post nov 2023: I GOT THE HELP I NEEDED THANK YOU SOSOOSO MUCH

dramatically sprawled out on the floor

so i gotta move for the third time in that many years. unfortunately between health problems and the General State of The Economy, I have been unable to find work to be able to save any money. i have no choice but to leave the entire state. i thankfully have somewhere to go, however I need help getting there. i've been trying to do the math to get what I need to its lowest amount possible, but even that is still at least $2.5k.

after this move, i should be able to get things more stable and I might even have a couple job prospects lined up in that area, but right now I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel funds wise and desperately need help.

if you're able to spare anything, i've set up a goal through kofi so i can track it publicly. i have trouble asking for help but i really need what help i can get. thank you, so so so much.

#mutual aid #fundraiser #help #god i dont know what to tag this im just kinda ripping off the bandage bc ive been anxious about posting about this since i got asked to #leave. head in hands. please help by spreading the word if you cant spare any cash i completely understand. #i dont know what i can offer. my ability to do art has been really really low and with my sleeping/living arrangements my wrists shoulders #back have been in fucking wretches states so its hard for me to do much #if youre wonder about the other fundraiser i did a few years ago #the person i replaced in a renting situation ended up fucking me over and got basically evicted into the 2nd week of college and i had 3 da #to leave that situation or more people wouldve gotten fucked over. and ive been basically couch surfing since trying to find work #anyways i havent slept in a bed for more than a weekend since october 2021 my back is turbo fucked please help

[inkskinned]

i know people are good because of this: the universe often assigns me side quests. in a circular strangeness; despite my inability to locate my-own-anything, i am almost-always finding someone else's lost things. dogs, coats, phones, cash, laptops. it happens so often it's almost tiring; suddenly being looped into a tiny amount of detective work.

but when i'm with other people who are not used to this: the response is almost invariably delight. yes, maybe they are simply thrilled by the mystery. it's just... they light up so much. i think maybe more... i think they like the opportunity to do something kind.

a few weeks ago, i was at a bar and i found a wallet as soon as we stepped outside. i felt nervous to ask for help, worried i would be holding up the night. i picked it up and said go on without me, i should help this get back to its home.

instead, three people pulled out their phones - to find him on facebook, to help cancel his credit cards. two people went back into the bar to tell the bartender, two others went calling down the street. group texts, facebook posts, instagram stories. people, without even seeing what happened, start offering help to me. fifteen minutes and: someone knows someone who knows the guy. the cheer that went up - just for finding him, just for this small thing. someone gets him on the phone. strangers dance around me, hopping on their feet - are you the girl that found that wallet? good for you, that's a good thing you're doing/same thing happened to me and somebody did what you're doing and i thank god everyday for people like you/i can't believe you found him so fast this is so exciting

i gave it back to him in a parking lot. i watched his shoulders sag with relief. there was cash in it still - he checked the pocket, and then sheepishly held the money out to me. i didn't take it. i held up my hands. "it's no problem, man. i know you'd do the same for me."

i don't know him, to be honest. i don't know if he is the same kind of person i am. but he nodded at me.

and i know people are good. i know people are good, because the way this story ends isn't surprising. we wave goodbye awkwardly. my friend loops their arm around me.

"i can't believe we got it back to him," they said. "i'm going to be riding that high for weeks."

#i lost my wallet in disney world once #and really thought i had beefed it bc i was 19 and alone #and a woman got it back to me within an hour #just like . a mom #i have no idea how she got my number or info #and i do think that since then karmatically god has been like. #ur about to be the same person in someone else's life #btw i like the side quests but they never happen at a good time #once saved 2 lost dogs while on the way to the airport. i already had my 70 pound dog in the back of my car #and had to chase 2 dogs down the street to wrastle into my passenger seat #(she ended up writing me the fucking nicest thank you card and sending me WAY #W A Y too much in target bucks as a thank-you) #i went 2 go see batman the other night and legit like. had already been running late #to go see a friend #and instead was like. sorry i have to step outside and use this person's phone to see if i can find them #i once found 250 dollars in cash lol #MEANWHILE IN MY PRIVATE LIFE #I LOSE FUCKING EVERYTHING #adhd will be like #: thou art so observant that it is distracting : #: BUT not observant towards items that are not novel to you : #: die mad about it : #: so it is written. so it must be : #: no nobody saw where you put the fucking car keys :

[appleciders]

Psalms 116:15

#warriornunedit #warrior nun #ava silva #sister lilith #sister beatrice #wnedit #my edit #if this has been done before!! sorry!! #god this whole season is a series of pleas to be accompanied #i'm about to make another post about it bc im going crazy #these were the sloppiest gifs and i just realized i fucked up the text #but i really can't be asked about it xoxo

[raeofgayshine]

Bruce Wayne, drunk and full on Brucie mood in the middle of a gala: You know, that accent doesn’t really fit in around here. It’s cute. Where are you from?

Clark, internally debating every life choice that led him to this moment: I’m from Smallville. Kansas.

Bruce, leaning closer to Clark with a flirty smile: Oh you’re cute and funny. You know, I like that in a man.

Clark, very confused but trying to just go along with it: Thank you??

Bruce: I mean, everyone knows that Kansas isn’t real but I do always enjoy a good laugh.

Clark: What.

Bruce: What? Everyone knows that Kansas was made up for Wizard of Oz.

Clark, unsure if Bruce is fucking with him or if he’s just really deep into this dumb act: Bruce, Kansas is a real place. It’s one of the 50 states that make up America.

Bruce, tilting his head a little confused: There’s 50 states? Since when?

#ravenpuff rambles #bruce wayne #Clark Kent #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #superbat #if you want to read it like that I mean Bruce is definitely flirting with Clark #and annoying him at the same time but really that’s just their relationship #anyways shout out to my sister who texted me ‘You think Bruce pretends Kansas isn’t real to annoy Clark?’ #haven’t been able to stop thinking about that since then #The thing is Bruce absolutely went into this as just a way to fuck with Clark but he got drunk and maybe leaned in a bit too hard #and then the next thing he knows he’s waking up to the news story ‘Bruce Wayne shocked to find out Kansas is real’ #*cuts to video of a distraught Bruce looking at Clark’s phone where Clark has a map of the US up* #‘See there’s Kansas’ #Bruce: ‘My whole life has been a lie?’ *looks to the camera* ‘Dick Dick did you know that Kansas was *real*’ #Dick snickering: ‘Yeah B they taught us that in school’ #Bruce: ‘Why didn’t anyone tell me?’ #His kids never fucking let him live it down nor do any of them believe Bruce when he tries to defend himself and say he knew Kansas was real #all along. They just pat his arm and go ‘Sure you did B’ #Brucie Wayne my beloved himbo of a man

[villainvillain]

kinda sad how davekat was like. it truly was a big deal at the time when it was confirmed by hussie. some of yall who came into homestuck after it was already over dont understand how great it felt actually to finally have a relatively healthy and affectionate m/m relationship shown in HS when all the others were typically dysfunctional, abusive, or one-sided. it was exciting!!! we were all jst kinda happy for dave and karkat yknow. even if it resulted in some pointless "which quadrant are they in?" discourse and some shipping wars but thats just par for the course in hs fandom

and then the epilogues and homestuck 2 dropped and like. ooooohhhhh my godddddd. its completely swamped in stupid melodrama and for some reason they completely ruined jades character for the sake of davekat angst and they ignored daves development in the comic for half-baked sexuality crisis plotline andlike. it feels like everyone turned on davekat and now its cringe or smth and its like. Wow . we had like . three years to feel good abt this and now its gone forever. Awesome

#homestuck #davekat #that poll reminded me of how fcking tumultuous the history of Canon Davekat has been #fucking insane honestly #i wish hs content jst stopped after friendsim #speaking of which can yall talk abt friendsim more than hs2? jesus christ #the fandom was at its most fun post-ending pre-epilogues... #can i also say ppl who REALLY hate davekat are ppl fighting air #like truly there is not much to get worked up abt so its funny when ppl get pissed over it existing

[ghouljams]

GHOUL I LOVE YOU BUT I’VE JUST BEEN BINGE READING (i don’t get yer notifs for some reason) AND I STUMBLED ACROSS DIE AND GHOST AND YOU CUT IT OFF RIGHT WHEN THEY WERE GONNA FUCK (or i assume so) AND SO

… may i humbly ask . may i . my lord ? my liege ? may we … get a snippet of Die and Ghosty . bc somehow i feel like their sex would either be Feral or Barely Enough To Call Sex and no in between

God yeah what would their sex be like? I think Die is so starved at this point that she's liable to try and drain Ghost dry, but at the same time she can't because he's technically in charge of her so she really has to ration because she doesn't know how much Ghost can take... hmm

The issue is that Ghost is an absolute bastard who's been eyeing his demon since she showed up.

Ghost grinds against you, and you hitch your legs around his waist, ankles crossed behind his back to keep him held tight and close. You're too quick to magic your skirts away.

"This what you needed? Cock keeps you off the corpses, yeah?" He murmurs, you nod and tilt your hips for a better angle. The tight hold you have on your control is fraying each time he rocks his clothed cock against your bare cunt. The desperate need he inspires in you, it's like dangling a gourmet meal in front of a starving child. You only have so much willpower, and being a demon cuts your desire to maintain it in half. You love frottage as much as the next demon but this isn't going to sate your hunger.

Your fingers fly to the waistband of his sweats, you dont want to rip the soft grey fabric under your all too eager hand, but some sacrifices must be made. Ghost stops his movements, letting you push his pants down, your fingers splayed greedily against the deep v of his hips, his skin warm and tight over the muscles if his stomach.

"Come on sweetheart, almost there," he teases, hardly twitching to help you towards your goal. With how little work he lets you do in the field you're surprised he's making you work for your dinner. You slide your hand lower, fingers wrapping around Ghost's rapidly hardening cock. He stays held for you even as you stroke him under his pants, but you can feel the way his muscles ache with the desire to thrust into your hand. All that delicious desire he's let build for you drools out the tip of his cock into your hand, slicking your grip so nicely you'd think it was magic. And who's to say it isnt?

You squeeze him a little harder than you normally would and he groans. Ghost hovers over you, his eyes dark through the opening of his balaclava. You suppose it's good he still wears it around you. You'd hate for him to be too familiar with the demon attached to his immortal soul.

Your lips part, head tipping to follow the way his eyes roll while you stroke his cock. Your thumb rubs against his stomach, dragging through his coarse pubic hair, feeling the muscles jump at your touch. He hums, his hips twitching forward into your hand. You make a similar questioning noise, half teasing him. Oh he feels good under your hands. You can only imagine what he'll feel like inside of you.

"Ah," you drop your chin to your chest as Ghost drops his head, his breathing beginning to grow heavier. You quite like the way his shoulders twitch, his biceps flexing as he holds himself still over you. "I thought you were going to fuck me," you coo, grip punishing as you stroke his fat cock. He deserves it for starving you.

"What're you doing to me," Ghost's voice is just at the edge of slurring, he sounds good like this. Although you quite like when he's barking orders too. He wanted to stay still and tease you, you're perfectly happy to enforce that magically.

"Nothing you weren't doing yourself." You breathe in his desire, feeling it fill your lungs as he shakes with repressed movement. Ghost grits his teeth, he could break the spell if he really wanted. You only hold so much power over your commanding officer after all. You'd almost think he likes this.

Ghost hisses out a breath through his teeth, and fixes you with a glare. His patience apparently having worn as thin as yours. Your good humor hitches, tumbling to simmer in your stomach. Your hand stills and your lieutenant bursts into motion.

Ghost's fingers wrap around your neck, pressing you hard against the mattress as he folds you in half. "Cheeky little bitch," he growls, your hands going to grip his wrist. You gasp, feeling him slick his cock against your wet cunt. The heavy heat of his cock drags through your folds, the blunt head catching against your hole again and again. He bumps against your clit and you jerk. He's still teasing you.

You open your mouth to complain and he spits into it, grip on your neck tightening to keep you from making a sound as he pushes every inch of his girthy cock into you. You want to scream at the way he breaks you open, forces your cunt to make room for him, but you can barely gasp for air. It hurts, the burn of the stretch pooling warmth through your muscles. You try to find purchase to claw at him but you're torn between the hand keeping you from drawing a breath and the cock dragging its veins against the aching walls of your cunt.

"Tha's it, you can take it." Ghost tells you as he bottoms out, grinding his cock deep inside you. He barely gives you time to adjust to him, his hips snapping another hard thrust, another mind breaking, pussy filling stretch. The worst part is he's right. You're made for this, made for him, and you love it. Slick gushes around him, working to ease the slide of his cock into you, and you clench around the length of him. Trying to keep him inside, trying to stay full.

His balls smack against your ass as he sets a punishing pace. His cock pounding deep into you, hitting your soft spots, veins dragging against your gummy insides, pouring aggression and desperation into you. He's using you like a toy, just like he should. You're his. His demon, a tool for him to use, to become an even more deadly force. He fucks you like he hopes it kills you. The slick sound of his cock pushing into your cunt filling the room under his panting groans.

Black fuzzes the edges of your vision, eyes rolling back as he shifts the angle of his hips to hit that toe curling sweet spot. You tap his wrist, feel his grip loosen enough for you to take a breath. Your throat is raw as you gasp and cough. He barely gives you a moment to collect a breath before his cock is forcing whines from you.

"Fuck, Ghost," you moan, tipping your head back, unable to arch when he's forcing you down against the bed. You stare at the barrack wall, at the way the light casts shadows over the stone. The spring in your stomach coiling tighter, your cunt gushing more slick with each punishing thrust of Ghost's cock, coating your thighs and dripping onto the bed.

You had no doubt that Ghost deserved you, but... the shadows. The stretch of black wings across the wall, the arching horns of a broken halo, the very devil himself in human form reflected in Ghost's shadow. The angel of death.

"God," you breath in awe. Ghost grabs your face, forces you to look at him, his eyes like molten rock. The heat from them drips into your veins. Makes sweat bead on your skin.

"He's not here sweetheart," Ghost tells you, and you abandon clawing at his grip on your throat to grab his face. You pull him down to kiss him through the mask, hardly caring that it's fabric and not lips you're kissing. Ghost pulls back, his hand leaving your throat to pull the balaclava up, before he's kissing you properly. Messy. Desperate. Hungry.

He snakes a hand between you to circle his thumb over your clit and you jerk against him. Sparks shoot up your spine, your hips bucking to follow the thrust of his cock. Your legs are starting to shake, cunt clenching around him as you whimper. "Good girl," he mumbles between kisses, "pretty little slag. Let me feel you."

You gasp against his lips, shuddering at what you're sure he didn't mean as an order. It pulls you just the same. Drags you through the heat and pops the lever on your orgasm, the spring unrolling as you shake under him. Ghost fucks you through it, his pace never slowing from the mad desperation, chasing his own release. He presses his hips hard against you, stilling with a low groan, his cock buried deep inside your clenching cunt. You feel his cum fill you, hot and thick. Deep shallow thrusts pumping you full as the rush of potent magical energy from Ghost's release fills your stomach better than any physical meal could.

Ghost takes a moment, enjoying the soft warmth of your cunt before pulling out. He tries to ignore the soft look in your eye as he rolls off of you to settle back on the bed. It's easier to ignore than the-

"You purring?" He asks, feeling you stretch next to him.

"Don't worry about it," you mumble, moving to cuddle up against his chest. Ghost raises an arm to wrap around you, keeping you held close as you tug his sweats back up. Maybe this demon thing isn't so bad.

#simon ghost riley #cod x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost x reader #demon!darlings au #oc: die #wow this was really long i just kept fucking writing it #like i couldnt figure out how to get their relationship into bed #and i kept thinking about their relationship in the field how that would translate off the field #because their dynamic is very push and pull #and ghost has been reluctant to give Die anything up until now #it grosses him out to watch die eat organs so he switches her over to a sex diet lol

[charrfie]

#im so sad it was such a good ask blog too but my mood has been so severely impacted by it i literally could not handle it anymore #big surprise your favorite character being put through constant and severe turmoil is emotionally damaging. who wouldve guessed #it makes me sad people are so fucking mean too :^( #<- in relation to some of the asks folks send in to guide stories along #like sure cute aggression yeah whatever but some of yall are straight up cruel for no reason. ill never understand it #i really wish i had the heart to keep following this blog bc its such a huge and beautiful passion project... but im sensitive:^( #even if its fictional #sorry to the mutual i had to break </3 wahhhh #late night personal posting. goodnight #laika originals #oh should i tag this as uhhh #vent #? kind of not really im just talking here