#hatchetfield home video

[infectedpaul]

i wanted to draw all my paul variants but it kinda ended up looking like one of these

#dex says things #hatchetfield #paul matthews #cooper colorado #eata #hatchetfield home video #smitten souls #apollo matthews #the curator #lovey #doodles

[rhondafromhr]

I normally don’t like social media/youtuber AUs but I just came up with a really unhinged one that I feel compelled to subject y’all to.

So, Stephanie’s a podcast girlie. She started one to rebel against the constant pressure to stay out of the public eye and not do anything to make her dad look bad by saying a bunch of things she know will enrage the public (like “peanuts the pocket squirrel is overrated”) and having controversial guests. As it took off, she really started to enjoy the financial independence and attention/validation it brought her, eventually moving to LA to do it full-time.

Grace has a fundamentalist channel (not unlike Girl Defined) where she basically just spouts purity culture bullshit. She’s controversial and while she does have a decent amount of people following her unironically, most of her views are hate watches and she gets a lot of her engagement from commentary channels dunking on her. One of those channels is run by none other than Peter Spankoffski - most of his content is nerdy/science based stuff and that’s his real passion, but he needs to make rent and the videos about Grace are what get views and money.

Stephanie decides that having them both on her podcast would make for one hell of an episode and they agree to do it. She asks questions she knows will get them riled up and cause arguments. It escalates to an all-out screaming match at some points, but the second the cameras are off Grace completely switches up, just totally calm and unbothered. Then she hits on Stephanie, which really confuses the other two. It turns out she’s a grifter - she hasn’t bought into the things she preaches on her channel in a long time, but she keeps it up for the money and because she’s been doing it for so long she doesn’t know what else she would do. Steph and Pete both get it so they’re just like “oh, cool, respect.” Pete invites them to a party hosted by his friend Ruth - an aspiring actress and popular lifestyle vlogger. Her real dream is live theater, but she has a lot of anxiety and she’s way more comfortable talking to a camera and posting online than performing in front of a crowd. The few roles she has gotten have been less about her talent and more about using her following to sell tickets, which is a big insecurity of hers.

At the party, they run into Max, who has one of those awful prank channels where he’s an absolute menace to the public and Richie, his camera man (they met and became unlikely friends in college. They started the channel when Max got an injury that kept him from playing football and had a crisis over what to do with his life). Richie can’t believe this is what he’s using his film degree for and he constantly tries to get Max to pivot to more serious content. The six all get to talking and realize they all grew up in Hatchetfield (Max went to Sycamore in this universe. He was still a literal monster and bullied everyone there, but Hatchetfield High was safe). They talk for hours about all the strange occurrences they noticed back home and the fact that they all suspect some sinister, supernatural forces are at work there. Eventually, they decide to travel back there, investigate and exploit their findings for content in the most epic collab the world’s ever seen.

#npmd #nerdy prudes must die #I just love making them worse people #stephanie lauter #ruth fleming #grace chasity #peter spankoffski #max jagerman #richie lipschitz

[noplacelikelondon58]

HERE ME OUT: HATCHETFIELD BUT AS AN 8-BIT VIDEO GAME

yall. YALL. different levels as different universes, 8-bit music, 8-bit CHARACTERS?!!?!?!

im actually going crazy rn. like ACTUALLYYYY INSANE.

okay. okay. okay. okay. okay.

so like, there's three main stories those being TGWDLM, black friday, and NPMD, and as you go along in the story, you unlock characters and on the home page you can cycle through them and its shows like stats and stuff.

after you finish the main story it unlocks the bonus levels which are nightmare times 1 & 2

im actually going INSANE RN

#8 bit #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #starkid #tgwdlm #black friday #nerdy prudes must die #npmd

[drowsytownsearchison]

In a different time line a person sits down at their desk and pulls out their laptop. They click around their computer until they found their way onto a old forum post. They ready their hands and began to type.

ONLINE: INKEDTRUTHSEEKER888 Subject: [FULLY LOST] 1980's Weird Kids Cartoon Written By InkedTruthseeker888 on 2/10 10:20am Does anyone remember Adventures in Drowsy Town? i've been recently rummaging through some old boxes in my childhood home when i found some strange child pictures of a show called, Adventures in Drowsy Town...Does anyone remember this show? This forum is dedicated to screencaps, videos, clips,childhood drawings and testimonies of others who have witnessed this piece of lost media if anyone has any information please don't hesitate to come forward and join the search for a little piece of childhood that we all seem have forgotten.

//OOC Hey, so you know when i said i was taking a break? On my fandom blog yeah! So i made a new blog for this little au. I did! I just didn't want the whole ADIDT to be on my fandom blog since i wanna do stuff with my other fandoms My fandom blog is @the-wizards-fandom-library for all my other fandoms// //OOC: I also wrote a fanfic based on this au as well if you want to read it Adventures in Drowsy Town (824 words) by The_Idiosyncratic_Cat_Boy_Wizard1010 Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence//

#fandom #hatchetfield #fandom blog #hatchetverse #lords in black #the lords in black #hatchetvers #hatchetblr #adventures in drowsytown #adventures in drowsytown au

[amazingmsme]

LMAOOO sorry if I might be annoying with the Hatchetfield and Stranger things stuff but…BUT.

Imagine Hannah with Mike, Lucas, Max and Dustin while El is with Lex and Ethan

Don’t apologize! This is fun! Ok so they’re used to magic powers, but they’re very interested in the time she fought in an underground superhero fight club. But they’re even more enamored either her phone & other tech lmao (they want to hear the music from the future, & play video games)

Meanwhile Lex & Ethan are worrying about Hannah, but doing everything they can to make sure El feels at home & they’re very eager to listen to anything she has to tell them

#asks #the singular-voice #npmd headcanons #hatchetfield headcanon #stranger things headcanons #hannah foster #lex foster #ethan green #el hopper #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #dustin henderson #max hargrove #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #stranger things #hatchetfield #hatchetverse

[you-got-it-capstar]

So I finally did a long needed rewatch of Black Friday bc it’s been a hot second and I forgot a bunch of stuff, but I noticed something that I have to share!

During “Wiggle”, the cult starts singing “when Wiggly comes” to the tune of “Carol of the Bells”. At first glance this just seems like a reference to the Christmas time setting and they picked one of the few Christmas songs in a spoopy minor key. But it goes deeper than that.

Music history tangent time! (Bear with me I have a point I promise)

Those four notes of “Carol of the Bells” are also the first four notes of the “Dies Irae”, a Latin musical sequence from ye olden medieval times about the “Day of Wrath”. Composers since forever have been using those four notes to represent the concept of death in music. (Go check out Sideways’ YouTube videos on Nightmare Before Christmas and Home Alone for good examples of this).

ANYWAY, back to Hatchetfield.

The cult is singing the tune of the “Dies Irae” as they prepare to bring Wiggly into our world.

They are literally welcoming death into Hatchetfield.

#it’s such a cool detail like jeff blim couldn’t have done that on accident #starkid #black friday musical #hatchetfield #hatchetfield music #hatchetfield theory

[thesixthimmortal]

older Dina, non-binary bisexual orphan, she/they. is immortal so they look young but they’re 22. Don’t really socialize but they’re trying, thinking about lex every hour and mostly drink black coffee. Actually nice once you know them but can sometimes be overprotective, sometimes will sneak into hatchetfield high since they look young enough to go there even doe she graduated, mostly hangs out at home and at the Beanies

younger Dina, a traumatized punk, non-binary bisexual she/they, doesn’t talk a lot but when they do they’re chill. hates their brother Daniel, fuck you Daniel. Usually hangs out with Lex but they recently been a few days away from her ever since Lex got a boyfriend. They sometimes take care of Hannah when Lex couldn’t, mostly hangs out in the beanies and Pasqualies on sundays

Foxinoly is a member of the lords in black, only active when Dina falls asleep (they are apart of Dina, Almost like DID? I’ve been watching Anthony Padilla recently and one of his videos gave me an idea) wears a fox mask when going outside. Doesn’t kill but will if you have gone too far, but they will torture you. Gets into arguments with Tinky a lot but hangs out with Blinky time to time.

Me aka Liam (nickname), lesbian she/her. Always open for roleplay!

Mariah Brutus Argento is an Italian 18 year old transgender girl that goes to hatchetfield high, but people likes to call her Brutus. click on the Brutus tag to see more information about her! (my fingers are tired….)

#ooc post #let ya know #tired of switching accounts #black friday rp #hatchetfield rp #hatchetfield series #hatchetverse #ocs #lords in black #nerdy prudes must die #black friday musical #the guy who didn't like musicals #roleplay blog #asks are open #Brutus

[hinataxsunshine]

— fill out with muse information —

ABOUT THE MUSE.

General.

Name: Hinata Aikyo

Alias(es): Hinata , Hina , Hinta/Hinty , Sunshine

Gender: (FTM) Male.

Age: 27.

Date of Birth: Dec 10th

Place of Birth: Toyko, Japan.

Hometown: Tokyo, Japan.

Zodiac: Sagittarius

Spoken languages: Japanese, Korean and he knows a good amount of English

Sexual preference: Homosexual.

Occupation: Unemployed [ ex-model ]

Criminal record: none

Appearance.

Eye color: Heterochromia. Blue left eye and Brown right eye

Hair color: natural brunet but dyed tips and side pink

Height: 180 cm.

Scars: Across his chest, on his shoulder in the middle, and top surgery scars

Burns: none.

Over weight: n/a.

Under weight: n/a.

Color: Pink usually, but likes to wear greens and reds

Song: die first by Nessa Barret

Movie: Spiderverse (Both Films)

T.V. Show: Starkid Hatchetfield series

Food: Pancit

Drink: Dr. Pepper.

Video Game: cant decide

Has he…

Graduated high school: Yes.

Had sex: yes

Had sex in public: ….no

Gotten someone pregnant: physically cannot.

Kissed a boy: Yes.

Kissed a girl: once, didn’t like it.

Gotten tattoos: yes :)

Gotten piercings: two in his ear

Smoked/drank/done drugs: No / Yes / Yes

Had a broken heart: Yep.

Been in love: still is

Needed surgery: Yes. For his Top Scars

Stayed up for more than 24 hours: Yes.

Is he…

A virgin: No.

A cuddler: 100%. Friends and Loved Ones

A kisser: Always

Scared easily: For certain things (Ex. Guns)

Jealous easily: 100%. Just won’t say anything

Trustworthy: Unless you do something to break that trust, he always is

Dominant: Depends, usually not

Submissive: Usually is

In love: Yes

Single: no [ depends on the verse though ]

In a relationship: yes [ depends on the verse though ]

Considered mean: not really

Random questions.

Have you harmed yourself: no

Thought of suicide: a few times during childhood

Attempted suicide: No.

Wanted to kill someone: No

Killed someone: Not intentionally, but yes

Drove a car: Cannot drive

Have/had a job: Yes he has

Have any fears: Yes ; Guns

Family.

Sibling(s):

— Older sister named Emiko. Technically also the person who raised him. Was set to take over the company [ deceased ]

— Considers Aisaka to be his sister as well, although technically would be his stepdaughter ( if he married Aguni ,, ). But she means the world to him [ alive ]

— Honorable mention siblings ; Kukki, Narumi, and Unmei [ alive ]

Parents:

— His mother , Yuuko, was loving at times but emotionally distance for most of it. Prioritized Emiko and her being a daughter. Did not approve of Hinata transitioning [ alive ? ]

— His father , Kazuya, was stern with him growing up — but grew colder when Hinata admitted to not wanting to take over the company. Was okay with him transitioning as he wanted a son, but was not okay with him being Gay [ alive ? ]

Children: None.

Pets: not back home, but here he has a grey cat he named Shiya and a dog named Rome

FACECLAIM ; Nam Joo Hyuk

#; info #aib oc #aib rp #alice in borderland oc #aib roleplay #alice in borderland rp

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Sunday, November 19

Buffy: I don't know you. Cordelia: (faces Giles) Did something take her memory? (turns to Buffy) He's Giles. Giiillles. (grins) He hangs out here a lot. Buffy: Cordelia, could you please drive me home? Cordelia: (surprised) Of course.

~~Helpless~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

A Place to Call Home by anonymous Mind the Gap Flash Exchange participant (Buffy/Giles, G)

The Man in the Library by LadyAramisGrey (crossover with Welcome to Night Vale and the Hatchetfield Universe, Giles, Buffy, Willow, not rated)

beyond passion by marzipanthursday (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

[Chaptered Fiction]

Ties to the World, Ch. 29 by The Danish Bird (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

You Drive Me Out Of My Mind, Ch. 35 by Geliot99 (Buffy/Spike, R)

The Witch’s Gift, Ch. 28 by RavenLove12 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Haunted, Ch. 10 by scratchmeout (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Dead End Plots, Ch. 18 by Melme1325 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Binding, Ch. 2 by Harlow Turner (Buffy/Spike, R)

The Freak Show, Ch. 6 by hulettwyo (Buffy/Spike, Adult Only)

Fates Intertwined: A Second Chance, Ch. 6 by Spikelover4ever (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Not Just a Boy and a Girl (It's Just the End of the World) Ch. 1 by noctilucent (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Blood and Black Lace, Ch. 21 by SlayrGrl (Buffy/Spike, R)

The Plunge, Ch. 11 by Harlow Turner (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

Virtual season episode: BTVS - 8x01: When You Wish Upon A Star by MyLoveableCrayon (ensemble, not rated)

Virtual season episode: BTVS - 8x02: Dream a Little Dream of Me by MyLoveableCrayon (ensemble, not rated)

[Images, Audio & Video]

Satsu by falsestardust (worksafe, in a multifandom post)

BTVS + text posts pt 4 by pzyii (ensemble, worksafe)

Drawings: Giles by chxrcasm (worksafe)

Spike by gallonsoblood (worksafe)

Vid: Witchy Woman by purplenurplespn (Supernatural crossover, Willow/Rowena)

Photos: 26 years of watching Buffy, 24 years of collecting Buffy by Neon-Maniak ()

[Reviews & Recaps]

Unpopular opinion about "Family" by coraniaid

To Live So Close To The Spotlight (The Zeppo) by herinsectreflection

Slayers audio book (not finished with it yet) for those that are listening to it or finished by Lobothehobosexual

Favorite stand up and cheer moments? by kipcarson37

[Fandom Discussions]

I actually think Angelus did love Buffy. It’s just... by austinoson

Buffy and Willow in this bathroom getting jealous over this fashion sketch is sending me by austinoson

Thinking about how conflicted Spike was when Dru killed his dinner for him by elysianfieldsarchive

season 7 of buffy: good and evil are not choices by lesbianboyfriend

my biggest btvs pet peeve is when people act as if willow doing questionable stuff is out of character by missjessefantastico

A headcanon about the Master by smmagill

Re: What made you ship Spuffy? by hello-nichya-here

I wish I knew how to make video games by CaterpillarEven5129

Vampire Willow for Seasons 3-5? by rationalsilence

What do you think were each character's best moments? by smalltown_dreamspeak

Why does Randy not want to bite Joan? by pinenutty23

Is the dating relationship of Buffy and Spike which started in S6 important to you? by rationalsilence

Xander and Anya in Tabula Rasa by Archonate_of_Archona

How does Willow hack into anything? by Tuxedo_Mark

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

James Marsters FAN EXPO San Francisco 2023 Schedule updated (Photo ops times added) via jamie_marsters

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

#btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #angel the series #slayers: a buffyverse story

[infectedpaul]

Wiggly In Drowsytown was a failed animated pilot premiering on local stations in select areas of Michigan. The series tied in with the soon to be releasing children’s toy, Tickle-Me Wiggly, as well as toys in the same brand. The pilot was produced by a still unknown overseas animation studio, and was licensed by the toy’s manufactuerer, Uncle Wiley’s Toys. 

If the series was to be picked up, it would’ve consisted of fifty-two episodes each split into two 11-minute segments, each basing around Wiggly and his friends teaching children life lessons and social skills, as well as basic spelling, math and other educational lessons.

Reportedly, more episodes were made (despite the show never being officially picked up by any station), enough for guest stars to be listed in newspaper articles detailing the pilot’s premiere, including Mariah Rose Faith who would play Wiggly’s older sister, Webby. However, none of these episodes have been released, and are presumably lost media. 

#dex says things #starkid #hatchetfield #black friday #the guy who didn't like musicals #nightmare time #tickle-me wiggly #wiggog y'rath #pokey #pokotho #doodles #hatchetfield home video

[hatchetfieldtheories]

Nightmare Time Season 2 - What do the Cryptic Clues mean?

Just over a week ago, things were vaguely normal. Work was busy, I was tired, and this blog posted either a normal or ridiculous theory every now and then while I waited for life to settle down a bit again.

Then a blue N appeared.

And well, you have all witnessed the carnage that followed.

So we have spent a week piecing together the clues, blaming the bees, having meltdowns over green As, and working out timezone differences. Now we have a complete jigsaw puzzle giving us a whole bunch of clues. Layers upon layers of clues.

So my thoughts are below. They're very loose and speculative at the moment, but that's the fun of it! Last time I did a theory like this was before Nightmare Time Season 1 and I was pretty bad at it - so you know... I can only go up!

The Clues:

1 - Blue

Pictures: Bee and honeycomb; old barn or pot farm; boat on a lake; birds; honey

Phrases: Honey Queen; Perky’s Buds

This is the row that I think is giving us two different storylines, “Honey Queen” and “Perky’s Buds”.

Honey Queen - as a few people have mentioned is likely a reference to the Hatchetfield Honey Festival. Now when I hear the phrase Honey Queen, I imagine something similar to a May Queen, who is a girl picked to front a May Day parade. But this is Nightmare Time, so I also immediately thought of something similar to Carrie happening - though maybe with bees, or honey? I also think the boat relates here, and will link us to the Monroes somehow.

Perky’s Buds - I think this has a double meaning. Obviously it’s likely a reference to Emma’s pot farm, and is a FANTASTIC name for such. But I also think its going to mean Emma is going to meet some - not very pleasant characters. Now remember, Blinky is always watching, and has feathered sniggles. I think the birds in the image are Blinky watching what Emma is up to - they become her “buds” - though she isn’t happy about it.

2 - Green

Pictures: Woodcutting axe; canoe on a lake; cabins in woods; roasting marshmallows on a campfire; leather work

Phrases: Abstinence Camp

Oh, Abstinence Camp - this is the one most people seem most excited for as I’m sure we’re all seeing that possible connection to our longed for Nerdy Prudes. Abstinence Camp makes me think of typical teen slasher movies of the mostly 90s, but 70s and 80s also. Plus the axe is likely a reference to the one character I have been waiting for for SO long - Lumber-Axe the Mad Woodsman. Is he the killer in the woods killing off the horny young adults? There is also the leather work image, which I reverse searched to try and get a better image of it and found the original image, but it didn’t tell me much more than “leather work”.

However it is also important to note the canoe on the lake, considering Deb’s family own a lakehouse, which is where the infamous party during Watcher World takes place.

3 - Purple

Pictures: Musician on a stage; sewer or portal; jukebox; wedding rings; diner

Phrases: Killer Track Daddy

Yes, hello, please be about Miss Holloway. I don’t have much to say on the name, Killer Track Daddy, except I think again we’re getting a double meaning. Killer as in death, sure, but also Killer in the same way Bill S Preston Esquire and Ted Theodore Logan might say it. Which is why I am getting the 80s vibes from this and immediately going to Miss Holloway.

There is the theory that Miss Holloway was a star in the 80s (Tiffany) and has time travelled to now. Maybe the sewer is related to that time travel. The wedding rings are interesting, and @donteatthefishtacos mentioned the idea that Miss H and Wilbur Cross clearly have a long history - make of that what you will.

4 - Red

Pictures: A scantron exam sheet; lockers; a roller disco; fire; an arcade machine

Phrases: Yellow Jacket

This is the one that makes me scratch my head the most. We're obviously in a high school, though do teens still roller disco? Teens, please let me know. So maybe this could also be set in a different time period. I mentioned that when I read Yellow Jacket my mind immediately went to a varsity jacket, because I am british and my only knowledge of american high schools is Saved by the Bell and Mean Girls. I'm assuming its an accurate representation.

Now I know by the video Matt posted we've seen Hatcherfield's school colours, but I still think there's gonna be something in the varsity jacket idea. Plus, yellow - tinky - time travel. Which would explain the roller rink.

The fire makes me think something might have burnt down, like the roller rink. And maybe something was built on top of it? Like the Starlight. The arcade machine however? Maybe we'll see Pizza Petes in more than one story, but one of the stories will just be a background storyline, like in Black Friday - and then we learn about the real horrors of Pizza Petes in another story.

5 - Magic Letters

Nibbly Must Eat

Its very possible this is its own story, in which case - NIBBLY!!!!

With the image Dylan posted of Nick with a pretzel surrounded by game machines, I am indeed getting FNAF vibes, and god love us if Nibbly is haunting a pizza place.

I also saw this post by @themystifier about how Pizza Pete might be similar to Uncle Wiley, but like. What if he is Uncle Wiley. What if this is another Wilbur part? We see him as Uncle Wiley, we see him as the Wiggly delivery man, we hear him as the announcer at Watcher World. So what if this is another role?

6 - The Vertices

The Monarch is Now Vexed

I fully anticipate a new Being who is the parent of the LiB and Webby. They're Lords, but this is a Monarch.

I've also decided the Monarch is Nick, as his only part in the Nightmare Time intro is during “Daddy's Gonna Get Ya.”

Some other interesting theories (not anywhere near all the ones I wanted to include - anything I have reblogged I have loved, but these are just some notable ones I found)

Odd One Out @sidekickajustim

Gemini Home Entertainment Vibes @vaguely-functional-directions and @ifduckislordthenheavenisapond

Honey Queen Melissa @infected-hive

Post By Post Breakdown @awigglycultist

#starkid #team starkid #hatchetfield #nightmare time #nmt2 #hatchetfield theories

[melchron]

Nightmare Time Episode 3 Thoughts

I usually save this for the end of my thoughts but I have to say this now. OMG MATT DAHAN!!! I WILL NEVER NOT BE IMPRESSED BY HIM! Usually with the episodes I catch 1 or 2 motifs but I swear I caught everyone this time. And they all fit so well. My attention was evenly split between the music and the story this time. It was so freaking good. Matt deserves all the awards like omg.

I think this is the least laggy the theme has been. Good job going all out for the last one!

I said to my mom "Did Shashona record this video?" and she did!! Great cinematography Shashona!!

I also pointed out the Tim's daddy mask. I said "Aww he's wearing a mask for his son!". I guess my mom got confused and forgot Tim's name because she thought I was talking about Dylan's (nonexistent) son.

THE DRILL PRESSES!!

LEX AND ETHAN

I kind of already knew this but I love that Ethan knows cars. I just likes that he has a hobby.

Lex cares about Tom so much I love it.

WHY DID JANE TRY TO KILL ETHAN?!?!?!? TOM DOESN'T WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO HIM!!!! DID SHE HAVE SOME PERSONAL REASONS LIKE WHY!?!??!

That Lexthan interaction was so cute. I love how he saw she was super sorry and scared and he just stopped being mad and comforted her. They are so cute I can't handle it!!

KENDALL!!! Ok so through out this whole thing I know everyone was excited for their favorite character to come back but I really just wanted to see Kendall again. I guess after BF I assumed we would never see her again because I couldn't see them working with children becoming a normal thing. But when the original cast announcement came out I got so happy to see her name. So I was super excited to see her.

Her covering her hair with a beanie looks better than the wig

UNCLE PAUL I'M SOFT I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!!!

Cineplex Teen is like Larry from tawog. I guess we should start calling him Obnoxious Teen then. Until we get a name.

I love that Tim immediately likes Becky. Wish I could say the same for my stepparents.

Santa Claus Is Going To High School bb. Also I want to hear the rest of that song. Also also how many wigs does Lauren own?

TONY GREEN

Why must they make love to this movie everytime? Can't we simply just watch it and make fun of like normal people? That way Tim can enjoy it too.

Good for Jane for making sure her son doesn't have to eat disgusting school lunch. She gets good mom points.

Aww Becky reassuring him he's not a Dummy

Becky is like really horny this episode. Honestly Tom's into so go ahead girl

JAIME IS JANE

OK OK OK SO Jane said they were driving home from her parents house. Which means they were still alive when Jane died. That was only a year and a half ago so the Perkins parents might have died more recently than we thought. It's like Spring of 2019 right? So Jane died around Fall 2017. I don't remember if this was said in the show (it probably was and I'm saying nothing new) but I think Black Friday takes place about a year after her death. Tgwdlm took place October 2018. They have to have died only a few months before then. How long had Emma been in Hatchetfield before tgwdlm? Maybe there is a possibility we can see a flashback of an interaction with her parents depending on how long it's been. Also that means Emma lost her whole family in the span of a few months omg. And Tim lost his mom and his grandparents in that time. I want to see how they grieved with all of that. Also I know I'm crossing universes here but Emma also almost died the same day Jane did. Some strange force must really have it out for the Perkins family. Good on Emma for surviving like a champ.

Ok so I thought they went scouting for girls because Jane didn't want the man she loved to have to devote the rest of his life to a car. I thought she was trying to help him move on. She was getting good lover points but those have since been redacted.

Jane is definitely bi and I love that for her. I don't care if she tried to kill her new crush. It was new enough for it to mean nothing.

GREENPEACE GIRL

Tom does look like a creep ngl

Jane reminds us she's a car a lot. Like girl we get it.

No. No. No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NOPE! We're not talking about it. I don't want to. I stared at James the whole and honestly same dude. I saw Nick in my peripheral vision and loved/hated that he was laughing. RIP to me watching this with my mom. RIP to Kendall. Actually rip to everyone who had to sit through that. RIP to Jaime and Dylan for having to perform that. RIP to the cursed rehearsals. Matt and Nick seriously took the time to sit down and write that. What the heck you two?!? This made me more uncomfy than the entirety of mamd and Ted's character combined. I wish I was exaggerating. Maybe this was just me but it felt longer than it needed to. The relief and worry I felt when Tim walked in is a feeling I can not explain. Glad he was clueless.

Tim sweetie I love you but SHUT UP

Jane is crazy and Jaime is doing such an amazing job at portraying that.

Yes Tom. Because grave digging is way crazier than possessed cars.

I asked my mom why the didn't just go grave digging for Jane's body but my mom said the body is probably all rotted and gross so that explains that.

Why didn't Becky just go inside? If she went far enough I doubt Jane would have been able to hit her even if she managed to break into the house. Also let's assume Becky's house had an upstairs. There, perfect safety.

Did Becky seriously die in the same woods as Stanley?

Ok so I thought the tree thing was a reference to little Irish girl Becky from the Black Friday sk10 stream. But now it seems like something more serious and bad happened so I'm curious.

DID JANE GET TOM ARRESTED?!?!? It seemed like she could drive herself at that point. Why not let him get out and get Becky yourself? Is this that self confidence thing Tom talked about?

Is she really about to have her son be obsessed with Ms. Becky for the rest of their lives or is she gonna tell him?

This next episode made me physically jump twice. I say literally a lot but I promise you I'm using it correctly when I say I literally jumped.

KENDALL'S SINGING

I saw the thing about the ukelele being a bday gift from the cast so this was super sweet

Ok personal time. My grandmother's name is Pamela and my mom decided to permanently cut ties with her a few months ago due to her abusive behavior. Me and my sibling are still allowed to talk to her whenever we please but we haven't seen her as much as we used to. I got kind of scared watching this with my mom because I was scared this would trigger something. She didn't say anything and I didn't want to bother her about if she was fine so I didn't say anything. Anyway this just kind of hit different for me.

JAIME'S RANGE OMG

"I want to be alone with my man." Ms what are you about to do to your Tv?

DON'T GIVE HER BEER

Duke seems chill. I like him.

LEX AND ETHAN GOT ARRESTED!?!?!? FOR SELLING HER PILLS!?!??! THAT SHE TOLD THEM TO SELL!?!?!? I HATE HER!!!

Does Ms. Foster have a type or is being male good enough?

Hannah's 14? I thought she was the same age as Tim. I could have sworn in the BF commentary track they said she was 9 or 10. Did my brain make that up?

How does Kim change her hair so quickly? She did this in episode 2 too? I could never. I am very impressed.

Curt and Kim talking over the phone while standing shoulder to shoulder was funnier than it should have been

Ms. Holloway is cool. YAY MOSTLY GOOD WITCHES

How does Ms. Holloway know? I need a backstory please!!

Ok so I saw Jon in his cape and thought he might be the with. But then I saw James in his cape I y'know stopped thinking that. Anyway I'm obsessed with Jon and James in capes. Kind of wish Corey had one too.

OH I JUST THOUGHT THIS AS I'M TYPING NOW ok so that tree she was talking to at the beginning was one of the tree people. I'm embarrassed it took me this long to realise it.

Hannah is way too calm about these talking trees and sometimes spider ladies. I respect that.

There was a lot of black and white theming in this episode. More than normal. It makes me more curious about what exactly Hannah's connection to it is.

Hannah almost died in her own mind. I was kinda hating Ms. Holloway in this moment because she forced Hannah to go into her mind. But I know she had to so I'm cool with her again.

THE STARLIGHT THEATER

Did she really say just don't be scared next time? Like miss some actual advice would help.

CAN MS. HOLLOWAY'S MIND LEAVE HANNAH ALONE?? Like I know you didn't get the reaction you wanted out of her but you're seriously gonna give up and go for a little girl instead. Pathetic.

"What's shakin', Banana?" That was the first time I jumped.

WIGGLY

What exactly is that 6-legged girl? I wish we had a visual. Also how couldn't Ms. Holloway help her? What was her issue? Npmd you got anything for me?

Wiley. Just seeing him come up. That was the second time I jumped.

Also everyone already said this but props to Joey for his commitment. Shaving in between episodes like omg sir you didn't have to go all out for this. But you did and I appreciate you for it. Also HE KEPT THE JACKET?? WHAT!??! Just fully committed to this character go off Joey!!

Usually I would laugh at stuff phasing through the green screen but this just made it creepier.

HOLLOWAY AND WILEY/WILBUR BACKSTORY PLEASE

But also I love how the script had him listed at Wilbur above his lines. I remember Nick called him Wilbur once in the commentary track (possibly by accident) but it's nice to have it in cannon. I don't remember I any of the characters called him Wilbur because I'm so used to seeing Wilbur and Wiley used interchangeably but this was just nice to have canonized.

DUKE PAY ATTENTION!! FREAKING USELESS RIGHT NOW!!!

Dang Wiley she was already being choked in the physical world you didn't have to choke her in her mind too calm down

YAY MORE DOLLS

NICK I WAS KIDDING ABOUT AN APOTHEOSIS DOLL

Is the mouth one (I see we've named him Nibbly. Good because his full name is too long to type out) gonna be the npmd villain? The pick color theme seems cool.

ANGELA'S TRANSITION THOUGH!!! Omg she switched roles seamlessly. And her voice too!! Go off Angela.

MARIAH IS WEBBY

This is random and unrelated but I never noticed how big Mariah's eyes were before.

So Webby and the Doll Gang are all siblings? I find it interesting that the were described to all where black. And Webby's color theme is white. Like how the good and bad ukeleles were white and black. This might sound really dumb see as we don't have a 100% accurate visual of the black and white but I wonder if Webby ever left would it be 100% black? Like if Wiggly went through the portal would it become a little less black? Does this make sense? Also I'm starting to see the black and white as less of a bad place. Its starting to see more ominously neutral.

Hannah's favorite show is He-Man no I do accept criticism.

Ms. Holloway is a nerd. She saw Hannah make the reference and was like "Huh. I f she likes He-Man maybe making this hat a reference will make her like me." She would only know if she watched the show. But then again she seems to be stuck in the 80s so maybe she just thinks that's what's popular with the kids.

MS. HOLLOWAY PLEASE GET LEX AND ETHAN BACK

AND ANOTHER GREAT SONG TO END IT OFF

This episode was......a lot. So much happened. Loved all of it. I am scared of Nick and Matt's minds but also incredibly grateful for them. As usual everyone's acting was top notch.

I love this episode.

Also I'm just gonna say it. Jon ruined Nick's season one reveal.

#starkid #nightmare time #nightmare time spoilers #jane's a car #the witch in the web #Hatchetfield #mel thinks thoughts #melchron the good book

[faithfulcat111]

Alright guy, we've reached the Hatchetfield era of shows. Note: I tried to do Movies, Musicals, and Me, but I just don't care for that show. Clark was the only good part. I loved him. So we are just moving forward. Starting with TGWDLM act 1. Favourite bits under the cut:

Jaimie's voice

The choreography in this opening song

Mariah's voice

This song is so fun the first time you hear it, but so creepy the more and more you hear it

'Where the fuck is he?' 'I have no fucking clue.' Jeff's face *shrugs* 'The guy just doesn't like musicals!'

The costume for Mr. Davidson

Jon just walking on stage with his chair at the end of the song.

Robert and Lauren then calling him a piece of shit with zero reaction

I have so much headcannons about Melissa for someone that only has two lines, I love her. But what is with the softball league girl

Charlotte putting the cigeratte away just to pull out a flask.

'The touring production of Mama Mia!' 'Wow, she'll like that just as much as Hamilton.'

'She thinks you're cool! Maybe you can talk me up a bit? Let her know her old dad is pretty cool too.' 'Bill, no.' 'You got other plans?' 'No.'

'You going to Beanies?' 'Yeah.' 'You didn't invite me.'

Okay, Ted is someone I would hate in real life, but I love his character.

LATTEE HOTTEE

'Oh my gosh so mean!' *flips him off*

*slowly backing off-stage* 'I have very low blood sugar.'

'I've been brewing up your coffee!'

'You meant this just for me. I don't have to split this with anyone?' 'Oh no, that's for you. I don't give a shit about them.'

Paul is trying so hard to flirt with Emma

'Excuse me!' Paul and Emma's faces as Hot Chocolate Boy comes back onstage. (I also have so many hc's about him)

'Oh shoot, I forgot about Bill's carmel frappe. Ah, fuck Bill.'

Greenpeace girl and Homeless guy saying hi to each other

'You know that money you're raising? You know how much of it actually goes to the turtles?' 'Well, none of it. I just made that up.' 'That's right none!'

'Zoey, you need a ride?' 'In your shitty car? I'd rather not crash and die, thanks.'

Okay, I love how they quickly flash between the different characters in this scene.

Wait, did Joey switch pants between Ted and Smoke Club guy? I backed up to check and he did! Damn, I knew Mariah and Lauren and Jaimie all changed here, but they put clothes on over top of what they were wearing and entered where they exited. Joey had to put a shirt and hat on, change pants, and get to the other side of the stage. 62 seconds, actually plenty of time. Still impressive.

Peanuts!!!

'That was interesting...' *Smoke Club girl and Hcb doing a leap spin* 'That seems like a lot.'

Paul having some sort of weird rivalry with Greenpeace girl

Greenpeace girl giving herself a high-five when Paul wouldn't.

Homeless guy's whole verse for La Dee Dah Dah Day (also this is way more tragic after Nightmare Time, but ignoring that right now)

Paul trying to crawl out the spinning circle of singing people

'Lights down, quick change, quick change.' *all the others running off stage already removing costume pieces, leaving Paul*

'Charlotte, you got enough coffee in the sugar?'

'Like a flash mob?' 'Yeah, what else could it have been?' 'Did you get a video of it?' 'No.' 'Fucking useless, Paul.'

Ted accidentally outing that he knew Charlotte's husband didn't come home last night and trying to cover.

These guys came so close to figuring stuff out before Melissa called Paul into Mr. Davidson's office

The whole of What Do You Want, Paul?

Jeff is is so unhinged during this (and Jon is trying so hard not to laugh at some points)

'Get my wife on the phone for me.' 'Mr. Davidson, I think I should leave.' 'No Paul, I want you to hear this. If you leave, you're fired.'

'I want to go home!'

'HELLO! PLEASE I JUST WANT A BLACK COFFEE!' 'Black coffee, I'm your coffee gal-' 'NO!!!'

Emma's expression not changing from utterly done for the entire tip song

Cup of Poisoned Coffee is so good

'Well, how the hell am I supposed to pop out of a trashcan and not scare the shit out of you?'

'We were just at Beanies!' 'YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME!'

'Paul, get in a trashcan. You, beat it.' 'Uh, fuck you.'

Robert making siren noises

Ted knocking Sam out with a trashcan lid (actually the choreography here at the end chasing everyone around is good. I wish i could see the whole thing at once to track everyone and there is a gap from different filming days, which annoys me)

'His brain fell out!' 'Well, put it back then!' 'I don't know how, I'm not a doctor!' 'Charlotte, look at that. That's not his brain! It's blue!' 'Well, how do you know, you're not a doctor either!'

'I am a presbyterian, I'm not going to die in your dirty-ass methodist church.'

'These are my friends! This is Paul and them.'

'What on earth does that look like to you?' 'I don't know, some kind of blue shit?' 'Exactly, Emma! What the fuck is this shit?'

'You bet your ass we got booze.'

The whole kick your head scene

'Could be worse. Could be dying in Clivesdale.'

'Fucking Timberwolves! We hated you guys.' 'We hated ourselves!'

Jaimie holding that note at the beginning of Join Us and Die

Actually her voice through this whole song

Ted's expressions during this song

Also him picking up a chair to fight the aliens

Hidgins just coming out with a shotgun

'Sing the beginning of Moana!' *cocks gun and points it at the others*

Bill singing The Circle of Life instead and Paul's expression when they realize.

'Alright, that was terrible.'

#faith talks #rewatch #starkid #tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #hatchetfield

[bilingualdesastre]

Favorite Hatchetfield headcannons:

TGWDLM:

I'm a big fan of the theory saying that Chorn caused the Apotheosis. This is supported by the fact that Chorn can only sing and not talk when she is disguised as a human. (This theory is bs, but I like it)

Emma speaks Spanish. I'm just a sucker for spanish speaking characters.

Paul watches exclusively cute animal videos. This is why he turned off the TV when the news about the squirrel ended.

Alice is a Harry Potter fan, or a nerd in general. Deb makes fun of her but secretly, she finds it adorable when she gets excited about a book or movie.

Paul is Alice's godfather.

Paul has watched all of the Disney musicals. He, of course, "didn't like them" but he knows the songs from memory.

Technically, the only canonically good singers in the show are Emma, Zoey and Nora. According to what Charlotte said, being infected makes you an awesome singer, even if you sucked before, however let me introduce you: Paul has the voice of an angel and he hates it.

Paul and Emma don't get married because they feel like it's not necessary, or maybe they do, but it's very casual.

Professor Hidgens is the only one prepared for coronavirus.

If Starkid were a thing in TGWDLM universe, Hidgens would hate it. This was confirmed by Robert.

Alice has definitely "ran away from home" when she was little only to come back five minutes later because she saw a big dog or something.

I am very big on the "half infected Paul" theory.

Black Friday:

High School Musical doesn't exist in this universe. The equivalent would be Santa goes to high school.

Hanna likes woman. This is only based on the fact that she and I own the same flannel and we both wear braids a lot.

I read a headcannon in the Black Friday recording on YouTube that Ethan actually plays Santa in Santa is going to high school and that's why he was shy when buying the tickets. As for how is he broke if he starred in the movie, maybe someone scammed him leaving Ethan with no cash and that's why he doesn't want Lex to know.

Linda and Gary have screwd, this is cannon according to Lauren, so it would be reasonable to assume that at least one of the two children that Linda did not have with Gerald is Gary's.

Bill didn't fell under the Wiggly spell because when he was trying to buy one for Alice, she told him that the doll was very ugly and that she would prefer clothes.

I am convinced that Linda is related in some way to Draco or Lucius Malfoy (maybe Lucius is also the father of one of the kids) i'msosorry

Professor Hidgens definitely still prepared for the musical apotheosis.

He also has a room full of Wigglys.

Adore me was not a Linda Monroe song. It was a Lauren López song knowing full well that the fandom worships her.

Tim is Trans.

#tgwdlm #starkid #black friday #also Ethan is non-binary don't @ me #hatchetfield #hatchetfield series #headcanon #headcannon

[popculturebuffet]

Nightmare Time Episode 1 Review: The Hatchetfield Ape-Man/Watcher World

I take a look at the first episode of Starkid’s new show Nightmare Time! Starkid, returns for a zoomcast, bringing back the casts of both Hatchefield plays for an anthology series of science fiction double feature picture shows! This week’s tales of terror:

The Hatchefield Ape-Man: A british heiress gets romanced by a shaved bigfoot with the help of everyone’s favorite kooky college professor. Forgotten fiances, murder and described nudity naturally insue. 

Watcher World: Bill and Alice return as Bill drags his daughter to a kitschy theme park for a day of family fun, which Alice enjoys and is as respectful about as much as you’d expect. As you’d also expect given Bill’s general luck, things take a turn for the Shining real quick. Spoilers and full review under the cut. 

Well this was a nice suprise. With the ongoing pandemic I genuinely did not think Starkid would be back anytime soon. Having just gotten back into them this years after several years of forgetting they existed via the Hatchetfield plays, I was pretty bummed, if understanding. So last week’s announcment of not only this series but a full scripted series from their sister production company the tin bros was a HUGE shot of happy I needed in this troubling times. Still need to watch spies are forver love the soundtrack nto important. 

Point is the Lang Brothers and their merry band of actors found a way to continue on via  format I didn’t realize existed outside of table reads but is a nice way to do things: The Zoomcast, basically a podcast done live on zoom, with the actors in plainclothes for the most part, with one person, in this case Nick Lang, reading out descriptions of what’s going on. Being a starkid production this also has musical director Matt Bohm playing accompaniment and pretaped if still via the actor’s own camera musical numbers. Overall while i’ts an understandably cheap production, only what costumes the actors have on hand and most props mimed, it WORKS, allowing for way more elaborate set pieces than the stage would allow and is anchored by Lang’s impeccable descriptions and the cast’s amazing as always acting really making the stories pop.  So things worked on a technical level despite having the barest of bones to work with. But did it work on a story level? Well yes, but if I ended my reviews with just that i’d have less than the 3 or 4 fans I do have, so without further ado, it’s nightmare time! The Intro: 

Now normally in my reviews I don’t talk about the intro because I come in mid way or because I just didn’t think to. This is an exception since 

A) I should be doing that anyway or at least when I cover a show’s first episode since intro’s are sometimes one of the most memorable parts of a show 

B) It’s a full musical number that’s been stuck in my head since the trailer for this series and has now set up an apartment there.  C) This series is a musical, if not to the same degree as the two plays before it, so it’d be weird NOT to talk about it’s signature song. 

So with that out of the way the intro.. is fucking impressive. Seriously taking disparate videos with probably as much as the directions “Sing this part of the song and be kind of creepy or alluring or whatever” and making it really flow? Good work, both to the starkids for bringing their a game to it as always and to Nick and Matt really did a good job   editing this together, musically and visually to be an abolute jawdrop. And somehow finding utterly stunning stock image animations that none of us realized were stock footage but still fit the tone perfectly. Just great stuff.  Some stray notes: Mariah is absolutely stunning in both voice and apperance in this, John Matheson’s bit as paul was great, and Jeff Blim of course got a great bit with his always astounding hair blowing in the breeze with him at full high pitch. Just an utterly great intro, and for Starkid’s first series in over a decade, and really ever but semantics, they really brought it. Good stuff. Onto the actual episode content. 

The Hatchetfield Ape-Man: Lucy, a british heiress played by Angela Giarratana, was saved by the legendary “Hatchefield Ape-Man”.. who apparently has a hyphen like spider-men because while sasquatches can do that. Point is she’s come back every year in the hopes of reuniting with her savior but has so far failed.  But as Lucy prepares to leave from this year’s failed expedition, an old friend finally gives her what she needs... old friend to us to her she’s just some grey haired lunatic who showed up out of the mist. Which while accurate, dosen’t quite quantify everyone’s favorite playwright/college professor/murderous psychopath/composer.

Yes at long last Professor Hidgens has returned! I honestly didn’t expect the anthology to bring in such a huge fan faviorite so soon. I mean I expected returning characters, mostly because the project allows old faviorites to come back for their own stories or for the stars of the musicals to get a chance at a much happier ending... there’s a lot of potetial there. That and let’s face it “Jane’s a Car” is a pretty dead giveaway it’s going to be about Tom’s dead wife and Tim’s dead mother coming back in horrible mash up of christine and my mother the car. Maybe. I could be wrong. I also doubt many of you know what my mother the car is and to that I say it’s an old sitcom i’m honestly suprised I know exists and know nothing about other than the title and it being about a son’s mom’s ghost possesing his car apparently. Well that and it was the basis for this. 

Point is, while I expected some returns, I wasn’t expecting one this large and this bombastic so soon, but BOY was it welcome.  So getting back on track after all that, HIdgens seemingly takes Lucy to meet her ape man, who goes by the name Klonk, played by everyone’s faviorite sexy caveman Joey Richter. Also it’s adorable he and Lauren share a streaming screen. I know practicality and all that but their engagment is genuinely a sweet thing to hear about at a time when the world’s going down the toilet fast. Fun Fact: I pegged the Ape-Man was either going to be Jeff or Joey, leaning towards Jeff, though given my love of Joey I wasn’t disapointed with him, especially with the twist... but I was EXASTIC to learn the answer was basically “Both.. kinda?”. But yeah Lucy soon bonds with the ape man, with HIdgens encouraging her since it’s more than he’s gotten out of Klonk in 11 months of looking after the guy, and this way they can get him to learn enough to decide what he wants for himself. 

So a few months, and some romantic bonding between woman and ape-man, pass but a wrench is thrown into Klonk’s wooing and attempt to tell lucy he loves her: Jonathan, Lucy’s just now mentioned fiance and royal dickhead played by Kurt Mega. And credit where it’s do whlie he clearly didn’t have to dress up, he did have a nice 50′s monster movie british person suit he put on.  Lucy is now conlficted and what not even though Jonathan is kind of an asshole who just wants to drag her back home. And i’ts not like Lucy didn’t keep in touch: she sent him texts and probably called, so i’ts not like he didn’t know she was here. He’s also a hunter for extra dick points as if he needed them.  Naturally when meeting his romantic rival he’s a dick.. but raises some valid questions: While Hidgens claim he shaved Konk due to lesions, there’s no mark of lesisons or the shaving. But his natural dickheadedness shines through and Jonathan talks about shooting Klonk before lucy takes his ring off and throws it and Jonathan goes after her.  Annnnd yeah turns out the disposable dickhead fiance for once is RIGHT. In a twist I did not remotley see coming but damn if it wasn’t clever, Klonk.. is Ted from TGWDLM and the plan was to seduce lucy with this con, marry her and then bump her off. It’s a hell of a twist and cleverly hidden since Joey’s such a starkid mainstay, it’s not a huge suprise he was Klonk and thus easily hid the fact he was also Ted. It’s clever stuff and pivots the story nicely. 

Ted is naturally a douchey as ever, going along with Hidgen’s plan to have him marry lucy then kill her and take her dough for themselves.. and unsuprisingly, so Hidgens can get Workin Boys off the ground. Granted there are easier ways to do this with the same scooby doo scheme: Just have HIdgens plan working boys casually, have Klonk really love it and being the sweetheart she is LUcy would fiance the thing just to make them both happy. I mean he can still marry her and ted can still have direct acess to her money if they want, it’s just an easier way that dosen’t shine supscion on the caveman who looks exactly like a local douchebag who everyone he’s met would testify against him. I mean would Paul and Bill REALLY be that suprised that Ted did this? 

Exactly. Then again neither of our “heroes’ Here is very bright, and this scheme only works because Lucy is clearly very sweet, very naive, and very much wants a romantic evening with an ape man after all this time and effort searching, so she wants to believe him. So the fact the best they could come up with is something out of Scooby Doo is unsuprisng but still great.  However things take a turn for the

Pretty quick as Hidgens takes disposable british douche fiance hunting.. then kills the guy after freely admiting he’s a fraud in what’s an INCREDIBLY chilling scene. Seriously it’s amazing how Robert takes a character as loveably redicilous, even his evil and murderous plan during TGWDLM was still hilariously rediclous, and makes him UTTERLY TERRIFYING. Even when dropping my fair lady refrences. Amazing stuff.  So the next day, after Konk “asks” what an engagment is and what not, we then get Lucy wondering just WHERE jonathan is and we get the second biggest laugh of the night as Hidgens gives us the iconic line of “Oh he left... said something about you being crazy and going back to london and basically to go fuck yourself. “. Naturally Lucy has followup questions and goes to find out while Ted, also naturally, isn’t exactly pleased when he finds out his partner in crime did a murder on someone. 

Ted may be a sleazy dickhead.. but even he sees maybe murdering a rich british person who just came here, went basically ONLY to this one location, and whose probably got many people who will misss him, one of whom is their primary target, is kinda dumb. Then again this is a plan that hinges on someone who could easily be identified, as he has or at least probably had an office job and three coworkers who know him, assuming a false identity to marry someone for their money. But again we’re dealing with a guy who thinks working boys is marketable to anyone who isn’t a starkid, and a moron who soon says he does his best thinking while erect. They only got this far because their target REALLY wants to fuck a sasquatch, is sweet but naive and well Ted IS still joey richter, and no longer has the porn stache so there you go.  Ted decides to cut Hidgens out of things.. partly because you know, he killed a person, and partly because instead of killing Lucy, Ted realized he honeslty has a LOT to gain by simply marrying her and staying married. He gains a hot rich wife (his word’s not mine, but angie is genuinely beautiful so fair point), a mansion, and while Hidgens points out the obvious, he has to stay Konk.. that’s actually appealing to Ted as he feels better as Konk, not just because he impresses an attractive woman for doing basic stuff, but because he feels better as Konk. This is.. an intresting turn for Ted i genuinely like. It shows that Ted may, as much as he presents with bluster and ego, actually LIKE the kind of shithead he knows he is. I mean looking at his life he has two workmates who calling them friends is a bit of a stretch, and one who he’s having an affair with but seems detemrined to make her doomed marriage to an even bigger asshole work. He really dosen’t have much as ted so it’s easy to see why being Konk is better: He’s a better person as him who actually has someone who cares about him.  Naturally Hidgens takes this as well as you’d expect and when Ted/Konk tries proposing he goes with the logical option for taking the fourtune for himself:

Yes really. Hidgens strips naked, and swings his arms around like an orangutan to try and convince Lucy he’s the real hatchetfield apeman. Sadly this dosen’t mean we get a shirtless robert manion as he needs to keep the turtleneck on for later, but the mental image.. I had to pause the video for a good minute to laugh over it. Just everything about it from it somehow being a dumber plan than his scheme this episode, to the orangutan swaying to just.. everything. It’s fucking genius.  But Higdens has more than a mighty penis to compete with Ted.. he reveals ted’s phone and Ted ends up revealing himsef by telling Hidgens to go fuck himself. Naturally Lucy is distraught and tries to leave and the professor pulls out his shotgun to threaten her into financing his musical because of course it’s about workin boys. Lucy tries to run, Hidgens tries to shoot.. and ted , doing the first good thing in his entire life, takes the bullet.  Lucy gets ted out of there then locks the door behind them, and we get the SCARIEST bit in this segment as Hidgens leans into the camera, simulating the peep hole of the vault door to the ape man inclosure and begs her to let him out. It’s some real Jack Nicholson in the Shining stuff and it’s utterly terrifying, but it’s also an amazing bit of acting. Nice job Rob.  So ted bleeds out, as much as Lucy wants to save him he knows he’s not going to make it and prefers to die as Konk, finally happy with himself. And I just realized everyone at Paul’s job is horribly miserable. I mean good god, Paul himself has serious depression issues judging by “Let it Out”, Ted clearly hates himself, Charlotte is in a horrible marriage and Bill just got out of one and has a strained realtionship with his daughter we’ll get into more in a bit. I mean honestly, Mr. Davidson is the only one of them who really dosen’t need therapy.. he just needs to tell his wife he wants her to choke him while he jerks off. For as ungodly hilarious as that line is he’s probably the most well adjusted person there. Go figure. 

Naturally being already insane, Hidgens breaks out, still naked mind, and chases after Lucy. Also noticable is apparently some people thought hidgens was manipulated by the blue shit hive mind in TGWDLM. Which.. no. I do love the guy dont’ get me wrong.. but it was very obvious both from the way his musical number was done compared to the rest of the ones in the musical, and his actions that was entirely him, and his playing the music was so he could join, especially since we don’t see the hive mind use any mind manupluation on anyone else. Regular manipulation sure as seen with you tied up my heart and not your seed, manipulating charoltte into freeing her asshole husband so he could infect her and torturing bill for funsies. Just something to get out of the way. Point is he was always crazy we just now have him chasing an innocentish woman with his dong hanging out to prove it.  He eventually catches her as Lucy catches herself in one of his bear traps when she hits the woods, because he had those for some reason.. and he has a resonable way out: Just give her the 30,000 dollars he needs for his musical. Thing is she dosen’t have the money.. or hardly any. She spent all of it trying to find the ape man and was marrying jonathan for his money and him for her title. And while it is a bit skeezy, it’s very clear both were using each other and likely knew it, and Lucy still comes out the most moral of our cast here.. granted it’s not a big stretch as hidgens is criminally insane, ted’s a skeeze and Jonathan.. well he’s just a diiiiiiccckkkk. It’s not hard is what i’m saying.. much like hidgen’s dick flopping around in the rain. But yeah he dosen’t take it well, Lucy goes up a tree, which is apparently something Becky did once. But before Lucy can die at the hands of a naked thespian, the REAL Ape-Man shows up and tears Hidgen’s arms off, taking lucy in his own arms afterwords and revealing he remembers her. The two hit it off instantly, it turns out his name is chumby in an excellent gag as that was what Hidgens wanted his fake ape man to be named but Ted froze, and go off into the night together. Awww.. what if a naked ape man played by my boy jeff blim and a british person can’t work who can? 

We then close out the segment with a cameo appearance by Jamie Lynn Beatty, who while not part of the cast for this double feature, does get a fun showtune about the ape man. Also fun fact that i found out here on tumblr: That costume is from something Jamie did in HIGH SCHOOL. As in well over a decade ago. Like holy shit, good for her. She looks great in it. But yeah it’s a fun song and a nice way to close it out.  Final Thoughts on the Hatchetfield Ape-Man: This was a great way to start things off. This one was more in line with starkids pre-hatchetfield work, a goofy story with some hidden depth inside. And like the guy who didn’t like musicals it was utterly terrifying in spots so yeah good stuff ,utterly hilarous and a great way to bring back some old faviorites while giving us a neat new protaganist. Good stuff. 

Watcher World:

Now from a mostly comedy with a horrifying ending to just.. pure unfiltered horror and depression! It’s Watcher World! Bill and Alice are back! And given I love Mariah Rose Faith and Corey Dorris, I was exastic to find this was what the second segment was about.. mostly because I had no idea Starkid had teasers for the episodes on their instagram, or I would’ve known Hidgens was coming. I wouldn’t of known he’d be stark naked for the last third of his story but still, pleasant surprise.

So Bill and Alice are spending the day at Watcher World, a run down amusement park on the edge of town. It’s Alice’s last weekend before College so Bill’s trying to reconnect with her by cramming a good old fashioned family vacation down her throat. Alice is less than enthused, both because she clearly resents her dad in general, and because Deb is throwing a huge rager on the same night. My honest interpretation of that is that Deb fully inteded for her girlfriend to come but Bill sprung this on Alice at the last minute and being pretty oblivious and hating Deb, either didn’t care about taking alice from one last night with her friends and girlfriend or didn’t generally think that through. I mean don’t get me wrong normally i’d side with a parent not wanting their daughter to attend a huge teen rager on their last weekend together.. but it’s also Alice’s last weekend in town for some time, and it’s likely a saturday.. so he has another day, and presumibly had friday before this and while things with his ex wife are tense, fighting for an extra day with her would be understandable and i’ts not like Alice, even if she hates Bill, would really fight him on getting an extra day in the town she didn’t want to leave. 

But that’s what I really like about this one that it’s layered. While Alice is slightly more in the right, she’s still shutting her dad out, refusing to let him follow her on instagram (though he does agree with her keeping it private as he dosen’t want Ted perving on her, which tracks, or Ted’s brother doing it which.. wait what?), and being on her phone the whole time to very clearly spite him and rub how much she dosen’t want to be there in her dad’s face. She dosen’t WANT to be at watcher world but instead of trying to talk to her Dad just wants to complain and apparenlty has on all their vacations.. it’s easy to see why Bill is annoyed by his daughter at times and thinks he has to FORCE HER to have fun with him, because otherwise she’d gladly ignore him for their entire weekends together for Deb. She’s so determined to punish her dad for the divorce, that she refuses to see on some level he IS trying, and is just sad about her leaving, and possibly leaving him forever and alone with nothing else in his life but his buddy Paul, whose getting married next week so that’s probably not helping.  On the other hand the reason I say Alice is more in the right is that well.. Bill’s a grown ass men. And while, speaking for himself, grown ass men don’t always make the right decisions, and not speaking for myself neither do fathers... Alice’s acting out is understandable coming from an 18 year old whose been through hell over the last year, having her parents divorce being forced to move, loosing her friends. Bill however just kind of uses her age and angst as an excuse to undermine and belittle her feelings. Because he doesn’t like deb for the very stupid reasons of she does pot, instead of assuring her that Deb wouldn’t cheat on Alice with Deb’s former crush Zigg, starkid’s first non binary character in a nice show that Nick Lang wasn’t just covering his ass when he said there’d be more representation in starkid, which in his defense I didn’t doubt him on but it’s still nice he did so at the earliest opportunity and very clearly plans to use Zigg if he can find a nonbinary actor for them. 

But yeah instead of assuring his daughter, Bill is just like “well sometimes relationships don’t work out” which while true is clearly his self serving way of trying to get Alice to break up with someone he dosen’t like. INstead of supporting her in her dreams of writing plays, one of which was good enough to get her a scholarship, he tries to act like she has no plans for her future and get her to be a doctor for more security, even though having a secure job has done.. no one at his office including him favors. I mean again, the most stable and happy person at the office is the guy in charge, and even he can’t tell his wife he wants her to choke him out at night. He wants her to choke him, he wants her to choke him while he jerks off, he wants her to choookeeee himmm while heeeee jerrrkssss offfff. 

While part of this seems to be that Deb plans to be a starving artist who can mooch off her parents in a pinch, Alice GENUINELY seems to have a full plan for her life. I do get his worrying about her future.. but she’s a smart kid. A bit of a brat but she knows what she wants clealry and clearly has talent. He’s just projecting his own fears on her. He also refuses to accept any responsibility in the divorce.. his hating his ex wife IS valid, as she took his daughter away, uprooted her life a year before graduation and spends gobs of money on impressive outings, the latter two seemingly just to spite him when honestly, it’d of made more sense for Alice to stay with Bill for the year before she graduates and been better for her. However, Bill still doesn’t take responsibly that he too is shoving fun down her throat to try and win her over, hates her girlfriend and refuses to treat her with any respect, and really DOSEN’T know Alice all that well. As we learn during their fun day she has anxiety, and he never knew about it. And the divorce isn’t really an excuse when he had years before that.  It’s the real problem of their relationship: Bill feels ENTITLED to a good father daughter relationship, but isn’t working at it and blames his ex wife or Alice for it instead of himself. While Alice isn’t an innocent as i’ve made clear, putting up walls and not telling dad things, given bill ignores her when she DOES try to tell him about her life, it’s easy to see she’s just given up. If he won’t listen why bother. Which yeah i’ve found myself there with my own dad from time to time. Bill’s not a bad person, he genuinely loves Alice, as he says “to the moon and back”, but it’s very clear from this outing he still loves the little girl who loved him unconditionally and not the complicated and mopey adult sh’es become, and dosen’t WANT to adapt to that and fears once she leaves for college she’ll avoid him for good, which isn’t unfounded. It’s a good, complex rich dynamic.  Naturally with.. all this I covered up front instead of sprinkling it throughout, the day doesn’t go great, with Alice utterly miserable most of the time, and ending up in a goofy novelty t-shirt due to a log ride. She also has an unsettling encounter with park mascot Blinky, our newest adorable abomination, who not only shows up the moment she does something bad on camera but also stares at her ass, which.. Paul you mind coming back for a second?

Thank you. They end up at the Watch Party, a cheesy kids show musical because Bill apparently equates this with his daughter loving musicals. I mean granted cheesy kids stage shows can be rad just listen to this. 

But I get Alice’s annoyance here. Thus we get the return of the sniggles, who apparently serve whatever eldrich deity is around this week and our first song of this segment, The Blinky Song. Which is catchy as hell as well as hilariously dark (”I’m so hungry”), and uses the stock footage well, as I could buy a cheap theme park ran by an eldtirch eye goblin using stock footage. But yeah it establishes Blinky as always watching and kinda fucked up.  Also the sniggles are now clearly the smurgs with Angie’s now being named Sniglette, Jeff being papa Sniggle and James being Snigglotts. However Sniglette considers leaving with another song with a long string of words. Then, things get.. dark as the rest of the sniggles don’t want her to leave and try and mob her, and then Papa Sniggle accidently wings her with a mallet and apparenlty injures the actual performer, before everyone’s ushered out and the usher pretends nothing happened. Good mind screw horror stuff. 

Alice and Bill then bicker a bit with my above point being made as Alice TRIES to get Bill to accept some respoinablity but he refuses and blames her mom. It’s now time for the Tear-Jerker, the reason they came. Bill’s buddy Paul says someone died. They also find three other people waiting in line and when one goes to the bathroom the other two start making out which.. yeah, dosen’t help Alice’s worry Deb’s going to cheat on her. So she takes the first single rider pass she can, with Bill worming his way in as to not let her get away.  The two naturally end up fighting on the Tear-Jerker before it stops up high, and ends up stalled, with the gloriously returning Nerdy Kid played by Joey from Black Friday being as helpful as usual. Seriously bless them for bringing him back. Man in a Hurry also showed up again, bless him too. Alice picks this time to reveal her fear of heights and anxiety, and an approaching storm isn’t helping. So Bill.. steps up. He helps ease Alice down taking her phone for her, if loosing it due tot he rain and helping her stay calm. It’s a REALLY nice portrayal of an anxiety attack, with Mariah herself apparently having them and thus portraying it really well. As someone who has them myself it really hits home and Bills calm attempts to help her are really heartwarming, getting her to describe her musical for him and the two bonding. It’s genuinely sweet.  But.. it can’t last, as Alice freaks out about her phone and Bill for once is in the right, as .. he was you know.. trying to save his daughter having a panic attack, and really stepped up given he was obnovious she had anxiety in the first place, and managed it well. He then gives the utterly heart stomping line “I love you to the moon and back, but sometime’s it’s really hard to like you. “

Just damn. So Alice runs off and both find their way to the fairway. Bill tries winning a doll for Alice, getting into a test of strength where he fails repedatly and is constantly mocked by the barker, played by James Tolbert who also played Blinky.. 

That should be Tolbert’s twitter handle. Anyway point is, Bill keeps trying even as he wracks up 400 dollars in credit card debt, for a 49.95 doll, before eventually the barker and hte crowd’s jeers get to be too much and he does smack it hard, thinking of all of his pent up rage towards alice.. just as the bell at the top takes the shape of alice’s head and explodes.  Bill is naturally horrified by this by the barker assures he loves him.. and that he should totally hobble his daughter misery style to make her not leave him and use the mallet for it.  Meanwhile Alice is at the shooting Gallery not wanting the blinky doll she wins, just blowing off steam when she runs into an old crone played by Lauren Lopez. But this Crone has her phone... which suspiciously has a ton of instagram photos of Deb and Zigg making out while sharing a toke. Granted Deb COULD’VE cheated, but given Alice is insecure, and her phone was given back to her by a witch working for an eye goblin.. yeah maybe just maybe Deb was loyal, and if she wasn’t wouldn’t be dumb enough to put it on instagram. But given Alice is already worked up it’s easy enough for her to beliive that her relationships in danger and if she gets there in time she can stop it and oh look her gun is now a real gun and can help her get the keys.  So yeah it’s time for a creepy as hell Shining-esque showdown, but if both sides were possesed instead of one. It’s.. a CHILLING as hell scene, not helped by Alice wielding a gun again as both fight. I was gripped the entire time and don’t have much to say utter than HOLY SHIT THIS WAS AS TERRIFYING AS IT WAS RIVITING. 

But a crowd gathers as the fight continues.. all with purple eyes which ave been seen on and off, watchers with a thousand eyes.. and with Blinky, now revealed NOT to be a costume probably, above them all. We also get one hell of a line.  “This is an amusement park but not for YOUR amusement.”

So yeah I love this sequence.. and Blinky as a villain. While it’s vague if he and Blinky  are the same entity.. I’m going with not. It’s not a stretch that like Cthulu, Wiggly has brothers in the black and white, with their own motives, methods and ability to get into our world. Unlike Wiggly.. Blinky’s already here and has no real ambition other than to find people to mentally tear apart and set loose on one another for his own amusement. He doesn’t have grand plans of burning the world.. he just wants to be entertained. It’s an interesting and chilling motive and I hope we see him again eventually. I also believe those at the park are trapped there bound after their own day there and trapped doing whatever Wiggly needs. Except maybe squeaky voiced teen. He probably just complains about cleaning up so much blood.  But yeah Blinky is very happy as the fight escalates into the hall of mirrors and Alice looses her gun.. with Bill now poised to strike down his daughter as the mirror reflects the various workers at the park, all encouraging him to kill her... it’s utterly terrifying as Bill’s eyes take on a purple tint.. and we get a POWERFUL use of the score and the “why does it hurt to love you’ bit from TGWDLM.. as Bill sees himself and what he’s about to do, sees his daughter understandably having a panic attack.. and calms her, his eyes returning and the two reconciling.  Of course Blinky isn’t happy about this “sappy bullshit” and brings htem into his domain, charging at them. But kinda missing that giving a pissed off teenager a rifle she knows how to use when you have a giant target for a face isn’t a good idea and she shoots him, with him bleeding a flood of purple goo that sends them out. While I doubt Winky’s dead, he is done with them.  Our story concludes on a sweeet note as the two find their car, and they finally make as tep forward, Bill having seen almost too late how selfish and controlling he was being and accepting his daughter on her phone.. and Alice realizing her need to open up and after checking Instagram, likely finding out those photo’s weren’t real, she throws her phone in the back.. but not before accepting her dad’s request, letting him in. Sure the road ahead is rough.. but the two have made a good first step towards repairing things and loving one another again in a healthy manner. and all it took  was bill nearly murdering her and allice shooting an eye goblin int he face and getting covered in his blood. Cue the credits, a beautiful song called “One Thousand Eyes” with Jeff Blim fucking nailing it. A great way to send off this bit.  Final Thoughts: This was the best one of the two. While Ape Man is really good too, this one took the darker tone of black friday, but with a tighter narrative. By focusing on a smaller cast, the darker elements really played better and the conclusion felt more satisfying.. though it helped that BOTH of these tails ended without everyone dying, and while I doubt EVERY story will have a happy ending, it makes things more interesting knowing that the heroes can get a happy ending this time around instead of an apocalypse. 

Overall Thoughts: This double feature was great, I’ll be getting a ticket to the next one if I can afford it, and if not i’ll see it presumably in December or next year when it comes on YouTube. Really excellent stuff.  So this was a first for me but if you’d like to see more starkid stuff from me, let me know in the comments or my askbox, commission me to review one of the musicals via dm, and if you liked how I did this review follow this blog for weekly ducktales and loud house coverage, and amphibia coverage when that returns, among more fun reviews. And until next time.. don’t blink. Play us out Jeff. 

I really hope this is the ending theme for the series. 

#nightmare time #hatchetfield #the hatchetfield ape man #watcher world #ted #professor henry hidgens #Bill Woodward #Alice Woodward #Lucy Stockworth #halloween #halloween havoc #paul matthews #jeff blim #team starkid #starkid

[usagichanp]

lexthan

*rubs hands together* I was hoping someone would ask me that

This is gonna be a long one folks.

General:

Rate the Ship -  

Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Life long partners, babey.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - I think they had crushes on each other for a while. They didn't officially say "I love you" till a few months into their relationship, but they thought it sooner.

How was their first kiss? - I wrote a lesbian Lexthan version of their first kiss, though I don't think canon Lexthan's first kiss was like that. I imagine it to be not really planned out; just like they're talking to each other in the car and lock eyes, then slowly lean in and kiss. Since they've had kisses before, it's not a catastrophe, and it's actually fairly soft.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Ethan. Wrote a whole ass fic about it.

Who is the best man/men? - I know who the best man is in my fics (it's my man Marsh, for those who have read it), but idk about the canon Ethan's best man. Maybe Danny (the Smoke Club Boy) but I'm not sure if they'd be friends enough to be his best man. He might not have one.

Who is the bride's maid? - Hannah. Duh.

Who did the most planning? - Ethan, but Lex chipped in too. Tom might help as well if asked lol

Who stressed the most? - Ethan. Though their ceremony isn't big, he still wanted it to be a good memory down the road (it was)

How fancy was the ceremony? -

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

First they had just a courthouse wedding where they signed the papers, then had a tiny wedding ceremony with only close friends. Even if they could afford a proper wedding (Canon Lexthan prolly couldn't afford it) I don't think they'd want a big affair anyways. It's be exhausting.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Lex's mom. Obviously.

Sex:

Now we're getting to the good part lads

Who is on top? - Ethan is a fucking switch. You can't convince me otherwise. He tops maybe like... 60/40 or 65/35. But when Lex tops, she tops bitch.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Ethan likes instigating things since he's a horny teenage boy, but it Lex doesn't want to, he stops. Sometimes Lex instigates, but usually when she does she's in the mood to top.

How healthy is their sex life? -

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

I'd give it a 7.5, depending on the situation. While they try to tone it down around Hannah, when they have alone time they'd totally go for it. Ethan's glovebox in his car has a box of condoms in it at all times. What can I say, as I said before, they're horny teenagers

How kinky are they? -

Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

They don't like seeing each other hurt so they wouldn't like BDSM. They're not vanilla but nothing too crazy- blindfolding, light bondage (aka tying hands up with rope or cloth), scratching, light spanking, pegging

How long do they usually last? - It depends on how much time they have to have sex. They've done quickies in bathrooms or whatever before, but if they have all night then they're pretty good at prolonging it.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Absolutely. It is said in multiple fics (I think?) of mine that Ethan makes sure Lex has the same amount of orgasms as he does. Always.

How rough are they in bed? -

Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

They certainly can have slow, soft, romantic sex, but Ethan is also 100% capable of rocking Lex's world so hard she can't walk right for a week. (That happens in my first fic, Cassieopia, albeit off screen)

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -

No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

1) I fucking love that metaphor 2) They don't get much physical affection at home, so they fucking love snuggling and cuddling- whether it be after sex or just hanging out. Sometimes they cuddle as a form of stress relief after a shitty day.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 2, maybe 3.

How many children will they adopt? - I think they might prefer to have children naturally, but in my California series they gain custody of Hannah when she's 12. Does that count?

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Lex forces Ethan to learn how to change diapers. That being said, Lex isn't half bad at changing them either, since she helped change Hannah's when she was a child.

Who is the stricter parent? - They're not exactly strict parents, but both Lex and Ethan can definitely scold the kid. ("hAnNaH! tHaT bEtTeR bE fUcKiNg fLoSs!!!!!") That being said, both take care to not be abusive to their child, especially Lex. She doesn't want to be like her mom, so she tries to keep her temper in check.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Ethan has good reflexes, and has stopped his kids from falling and hitting their chin on a playground structure more than once. (Fun fact! That happened to me when I was 3. I fell from a steel elephant shaped jungle gym at a German zoo, hit my chin on a steel bar, and bit through my lower lip/knocked 3 teeth out. I still have the scar years later lol)

Who remembers to pack their lunches? - Lex. Though the lunches aren't always the healthiest.

Who is the more loved parent? - I think they're both loved, but maaaaaybe Ethan a bit more.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Neither would attend PTA meetings out of the goodness of their hearts. If Lex or Ethan would go to a PTA meeting, it'd most likely be because they wanted to yell at a teacher or principal. They might go seperately or together depending on the severity of the issue.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Ethan wouldn't admit he cried, but he did. So did Lex.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Oh bitch, Lex and Ethan both said fuck the law. If it was just like, an overnight jail cell for some stupid misdemeanor, they might try to break their kid out. Otherwise, Lex would probably the one paying the bail because Ethan would try to punch the cop in the face if the cop talked shit about Ethan's kid. That reaction is not exclusive to cops.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Neither of them are exactly 5 star chefs, but they can hold on their own. Lex is better at cooking breakfast and Ethan is better at cooking dinner- but if he's exhuasted from work, Lex can cook dinner for him.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Neither are picky. Both of them grew up young scrappy and hungry just like their country without really the chance to be picky. They had to take what they could get.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Lex. She's good at calculating totals in her head. I wrote that in an unrealeased fic.

How often do they bake desserts? - Rather rarely. Perhaps on special occasions or to bond. Ethan has ruined the kitchen with his kid trying to bake a cake for Lex at least once. Maybe more.

Are they more of a meat lover or salad lover? - Meat lovers, babey. Fuck that fancy plant bullshit.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Ethan. I wrote that in the proposal fic.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Depends on what you count as "going out". Lex likes going to McDonalds, but Ethan is the one who suggests eating at actual restaurants.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Ethan, but both have had near misses.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both had fairly messy rooms as teenagers so they're not super anal about having sparkling clean rooms. That being said, when someone comes over Lex does try to tidy the place up a bit. At least enough to make it seem like they have their shit together. Ish.

Who is really against chores? - Ethan can be a bit of a lazy bones sometimes, but Lex isn't exactly a huge fan of chores either. However, she is used to doing chores since she practically raised herself and Hannah.

Who cleans up after the pets? - They take turns. Both hate it.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Ethan, because he doesn't want to incur Lex's wrath.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Lex. As I said above, she actually actively cleans the house beforehand. Not to the level of that freaking out mom from the comedy video who's name I can't remember tho.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Ethan. He has a nack for finding random bits of money. Score.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Lex, though both take relatively quick showers to save water.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - They actually like doing it together. It's nice to get some fresh air, and they enjoy each other's company.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Ethan goes over the top, partially to annoy Lex. You know that Christmas tree Chris Pine vine? Yeah, Ethan would fucking do that.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Live a better life together than they did in Hatchetfield. White picket fence and California dreams shit.

Who is more likely to sleep till noon? - Ethan, but Lex is known to sleep till 3 in the afternoon if she's really tired.

Who plays the most pranks? - Ethan. That's literally canon.

I can babble about them all day lol

#Lexthan #Black Friday #lex foster #ethan green #I'll reblog this later with links to my fics #thank you!! #asks