#have been even lonlier when i was younger

[god1ngs]

the art of being alone

summary: being left alone isn't unfamiliar to sapnap. however, it hurts more when it's people you love

contains: implied panic attack, angst with a semi happy ending, religion mention

notes: c!sapnap angst :D i've been thinking about him. i adore him

Karl is yelling. Quackity is yelling. 

Karl doesn’t remember Quackity.

Sapnap can’t hear what they’re saying. Their yelling falls on deaf ears. Drowning is the only way he can describe how he feels— The water in his lungs makes his chest tighten in agony. He looks at Karl, then Quackity, then Karl again, and then Quackity again.

With each turn of his head, his throat closes and his stomach twists and turns. Will he have to choose between Karl and Quackity? He doesn’t think he can. He’s never been good with choices, especially with people he loves.

He can’t choose between Karl and Quackity. He loves both of them equally (Does he?).

Sapnap chases after Quackity as he storms out of Kinoko Kingdom. He doesn’t want Quackity to leave. He wants him to stay, it’s been too long since he’s been able to see him, to just talk to him. In the end, he knows Quackity will leave. He knows Quackity has more important things to tend to than the neediness of his fiance (Ex-fiance?).

Sapnap watches Quackity leave. He watches Karl retreat back into his house.

He stands there in the rain. He’s never liked the rain. When he was a kid, he could never go out in the rain. Bad always thought that he’d be burnt if he did, so he always stayed inside. He’d sit at the window and watch the droplets of water run down the glass and imagine that it was his friends playing in the rain.

Now that he’s standing in the rain, it’s not as nice as he thought it’d be.

Sapnap misses his friends. He misses playing with them when they were younger. He remembers playing hide and seek with Dream and George when they were kids. The weight of the world hadn’t yet hit them. The only thing they were worried about was whether George was sleeping while hiding or not. 

He misses the good days. He misses Dream and George.

Ever since Dream was put into prison, Sapnap hadn’t seen George as often. He assumed he was sleeping somewhere, so he never went to bother him. However, right now, he needs someone— He needs George. 

Instead of going to Karl, Sapnap looks for George. Right now, Karl needs to calm down and Sapnap needs to go see George. It’s been too long since he’s seen him and, if anyone knows how to calm him down, it’s George.

Sapnap staggers through the forest where he last saw George; is he even here still? He doesn’t know, but he’ll check just about anywhere right now. He’d go far and wide to look for George. He cares about him too much to let him be abandoned in some forest.

On shaky legs, Sapnap searches through the thick bush and tall trees for his friend. He doesn’t call out for him, too afraid his voice would give out on him. The fight between Quackity and Karl is still fresh in his mind. The dried tear stains and shaky legs are a clear indicator that something happened. He’s never been good at concealing his emotions.

Where is George? Is he even here anymore? With each passing second, Sapnap can feel his stomach twist and turn. He doesn’t want to be alone right now. He wants to be with George, or Dream, or someone— Anyone at this point. He’s been alone enough, hasn’t he?

Maybe he deserves this. Maybe he’s alone for a reason. He thinks of Tommy— Probably the loneliest kid he knows. If there is a God up there, as Tommy claims, maybe he’s keeping Sapnap alone for a reason. Has he done something to deserve his loneliness?

He slumps against a tree and slides down it. The ground is uncomfortable— Maybe he deserves it— but he doesn’t think of that right now. All he can think of is how lonely it is right now. The vast expansion of dirt and trees and bushes, miles away from anyone, only makes him feel lonlier.

Is this what Dream feels like in prison?

He remembers how it was when he visited him— Dream didn’t talk to him. After months, he didn’t even get to hear his best friend’s voice (Are they still best friends?). He hopes to hear it again someday.

He sniffles. His hand reaches up and he’s surprised at the dampness of his face. When did he begin crying again? He doesn’t know, but once again, he’s crying alone. His eyes close and, for the first time today, he lets himself drift off into a sense of peace.

Then he hears footsteps. His eyes snap open and he’s quick to put a hand on the hilt of his sword— What if it was Dream? 

Instead of Dream, George stands in front of him.

The usual white goggles he wears hang around his neck, brown-and-blue eyes on display. The moss cape he wears has mushrooms on it. Sapnap swears he can see the hint of a flower too.

He stammers to say something, his lack of coherent words causing George to raise a brow. “Sapnap? What are you doing here?” He asks. It’s so good to hear someone else’s voice, especially George’s. “And why are you crying?”

Sapnap laughs at his bluntness, wiping at the never stopping tears on his flushed face. For the first time today, he smiles. For the first time today, he doesn’t have a sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. “Just.. stuff.” Sapnap answers.

“Stuff?” George scoffs, “Stuff has you crying?” Even if he isn’t trying to be funny, Sapnap still laughs at his response. His tears stop. His legs aren’t shaking anymore. Sapnap grins, “Yeah, George. Stuff has me crying.” George huffs out a laugh and that’s enough for Sapnap.

He doesn’t think of Karl, nor Quackity, nor Dream— He only thinks about George at this moment in time. He’s happy with only thinking of George, only caring about him, if it means he gets to feel like this.

#c!sapnap #c!karl jacobs #c!georgenotfound #c!quackity #c!karlnapity angst #c!karlnapity #c!sapnotfound #? implied

[starcrossedjedis]

Echoes // Josephine "Jo" Cavanaugh & Bucky Barnes

"He looks... at peace. I have never seen him like this before", Jo said and her voice was thick with emotion. "Maybe he should just have stayed here..."

(no tag list yet, but I am tagging @sgtbuckyybarnes because Sam loves Josie almost as much as I do xD If you wanna be tagged in future Josie stuff, please let me know <3)

Josephine "Jo" Cavanaugh grew up in a world where the existence of aliens and superheroes was common knowledge. Growing up in Queens, she was a teenager out and about in the city with her mum when the Citauri attacked Earth and the Avengers first came out to save the day. Iron Man owned half her hometown and her college days were spent with Spiderman as their neighborhood watch. As a New Yorker you just kinda... get used to it.

But then one day new spaceships appeared in the sky over New York and suddenly half of the Earth’s population was gone - including her parents and younger brother (and cheating scumbag of an ex, but no one was in a mood to celebrate small blessings).

Things were rough for a bit, especially when the reality hit that the Avengers would not swoop in and save the day - not for another five years anyway. For Jo this meant one thing - mankind didn’t stand a chance against whatever was lurking out there and she was not one to take this sitting on her hands. Fretting wouldn’t bring her family back and if her life had to continue in this new, lonlier version of home, then she would make the most of it. And for Jo the most was graduating college asap and applying to be trained with the FBI. If Jo set her mind to something, she went after it hard. Only a few short months after The Snap she started her training at Quantico, putting in blood, sweat and tears to make top of her class. Her goal was clear - to be amongst those who stood between mankind and whatever would come for it next.

Time passed. Mankind moved on. So did Jo - she worked, she made friends and even made a few half-hearted attempts at dating. One day after leaving the office, Jo was approached by a young man named Cameron Klein who claimed he was deeply impressed with her work and “in desperate need of capable people to work with”. He was very ominous about the specifics of his job offer, but something in her gut told Josie that this was exactly the moment everything that had happened to her had led her to... She accepted a job she knew nothing about and then suddenly things seemed to happen all at once...

Now everyone’s back, Tony Stark’s dead and Jo has somehow been recruited into Fury’s inner circle and about to become the handler of the newly crowned Captain America and a very weary hundred year old ex-assassin. Now this is a lot to take in... even for someone who grew up in New York...

(There she is *runs around screaming* I wanted to make a proper first gifset for her introduction, but I am super busy atm and couldn’t be arsed. But I love Josie so freaking much and I wanted y’all to finally get to know her. This is supposed to be Falcon & The Winter Soldier & Jo and will probably be 99% Sam looking into the camera like he’s in The Office, because he’s working with idiots who are too stupid to just go and date each other when clearly they wanna x’D)

#ocappreciation #occentral #fyeahmarvelocs #bucky barnes #sam wilson #jo cavanaugh #my ocs #my graphics #my writing

[darkcookiesnmilk]

Midnight Thoughts: Taehyung (BTS)

Um, hi 

you probably don't know me

oh sure you don't

I don't know you either, I just randomly dialed your number to be honest

wait don't block

I just wanted to, um, vent a bit, if that is possible 

Please don't reply till I'm done tho, it'd be more comfortable that way

it's okay if you aren't gonna read this, I just need to let this out, it's been heaving on my chest for enough time

uhh, so where to start

You'd probably find what's bothering me ridiculous, call me weird. I don't care. I just roll that way, maybe I'm depressed. Who knows?

I'm at a point where I don't even know what's bothering me anymore, you know, when a lot of things just pile up and you can't figure out what you're upset about

I broke up with my boyfriend a while ago, I mean he broke up with me, on my birthday. Funny, isn't he?

We were supposed to go to Japan, you know, spend a few days there including my birthday. It was his idea, he paid and everything and I found it so sweet.

the flight was at 2am, two hours through my birthday. We reached the airport an hour before and If I said I wasn't excited I would be lying.

it was time to transfer to the boarding room when he broke the news to me.

he said we had to break up. I still remember every little thing he said that day. the truth was that he had a scholarship to major in dancing in Japan, and while we were both studying veterinary together he was also studying dancing in parallel without me knowing. He said he didn't believe in long distance relationships and that it was better if we stopped dating. 

He didn't pay for my ticket or anything. He was going by himself and left me standing in the middle of the airport while he accessed the boarding room.

that night I got drunk. for the first time. I had a friend who worked at a coffee shop that turned into a bar by nighttime.

he tried comforting me and telling me to stop drinking. I couldn't.  I just couldn't. I wanted to forget about what had just happened.

of course, and you probably figured out that, I didn't. 

My family knew about what happened soon after. My parents scolded me a lot. Since I spent forever to convince them it was okay to date him and that we weren't going to end soon. I even thought we could get married. I tried to convince them that he was the one and that he wasn't going to distract me from my studies, which seemed like the only fucking thing occupying their mind. I almost thought they don't see me as a human anymore, but as exam marks.

They were really mad and I eventually got into a fight with them. They kept claiming they knew from the beginning that he wasn't good news and he was going to dump be anyways. Goodness how would they even fucking know.

I was practically alone. I had a close friend who was in Paris by the time, and I really didn't Want to bother her with my bullshit, the girl was living her dream of becoming a designer after all. 

I was lost. My marks started dropping and I didn't contact my parents or they'd be furious with me. I had no desire to eat and skipped meals often, eventually getting sick a lot. I am sick right now actually, I keep on sneezing 

and to top it the owner of the apartment I'm living in informed me by the beginning of the following month that he'd increase the renting fee. And of course I had nothing to say about it. I spent forever to find this studio so I had no choice but to accept.

I of course had no money, and also no plans of asking my family for money. I didn't have any one to borrow money from even if I wanted. How pathetic. life is funny 

I got a part time job. I started working at the coffee shop I had a friend in, Serving early in the morning and late in the evening before the place turned into a bar. Also known as the only free time I had from college. 

I didn't want to work the nighttime because I honestly didn't want to end up between someone's legs.

I automatically got close to that friend, since he was the only one I knew there. we had been meeting for over three years and I felt comfortable around him

Until I fell for him. I didn't know how it happened but I did. 

long story short, I confessed one day and he rejected me. Oh sure he would. He said he saw me as a younger sibling that he cared for. And here I had the tiniest hope he was doing so because he mirrored my feelings. I told you life is funny. Too funny that I just noticed that I'm crying now.

I told him to forget about it and that we should just stay friends like we were. I really didn't want to lose someone else.

one day I got dismissed of college early and had a meeting with a high school friend. Of course we met at that same coffee shop. 

She saw my friend and she immediately fell for him. I actually didn't blame her, he was too fine that girls would try to flirt with him everyday. 

Long story short she asked me to hook her up with him, since she knew I worked there and was close to him.

she started coming more often to the café and as much as it made me deranged I tried making the two close, and it worked. They started dating and I never felt lonlier.

I spent most of my time working, studying, working again, studying at home and chatting with a close online friend from Japan.

she had been my friend since forever and we never got the chance to meet. 

Then one day she told me she'd be coming to Korea for a few days, also informing me that her boyfriend was coming along which I didn't bother about at all. 

In fact, I did. I still remember that day clearly. The day I was waiting for her to come in this restaurant and she came in, hand in hand with her boyfriend, who was none other than my ex.

both of us were surprised to see each other again, I had a terrified face on while he just looked at me as if he was saying oh hey you actually managed to still be alive. My friend was so confused when I suddenly ran away. I was crying. And no where in hell was I going to let him see me cry because of him.

just when I thought he was long gone and I could forget about him he came again 

and that's how I started all the way from zero. Trying to erase him from my memory. I couldn't forget the look on his face that day. He was almost smirking impressedly. He knew I was too attached to him and that I turned into a mess after he left.

My friend understood the situation later and apologized to me. I told her there was nothing to apologize about and there really wasn't. Its not like she knew he was my ex and dated him on purpose.

So for now, I'm still working and studying. The others are still dating so I dont see any of them often. 

Exams are coming and I don't really think I'm ready, which is not of me at all 

I'm kind of a perfectionist you see, I like to have everything prepared and set for anything. good grades, good looks, good manners. I wanted them all. Call me selfish 

I never had good looks to begin with. I never went out without make up. I guess it just worked out like this. I'm insecure about how I look and I would never lie about it.

I keep strict track of my weight and starve myself if I gain any. 

Even though people tell me I'm fine. What are 52kilos for a 169cm tall girl? I was already underweight. But I didn't care. I would never be satisfied with how I look anyways 

I'm now just sitting here in my bed while hugging Baby Lion, my favorite lion plush. 

He's better than them all I think. If Baby Lion was a person I would've dated him. He seems like he'd never leave me.

sorry for spamming you, I hope you aren't bothered with all of my ranting -you probably are- 

you don't even know me and I rudely interrupted your peace with my problems, really sorry

if you ever read this, thanks. It actually helped me out a bit. They say letting out your heart to a stranger makes you feel better 

If it's possible can I vent to you whenever I'm feeling down? Id still do even if you say no tho just saying, you can not read them if you want

again sorry for disturbing you, take care 

good night.

-

Hello, you didn't send a message in a while now so I think you're, uhh, done now, or fallen asleep

Don't cry. Trust me just don't, it's not worth it, everything ain't worth it

I may not be in the right place to talk, I just got to hear your story, I don't even know your name or whatsoever

but I believe you should just brush it all off.

Your ex? Screw him

so what if he went to Japan? Good for him. Are you really going to let him have all the fun there while you sulk in your bed bawling your eyes out about him? Guess not, if he isn't bothered about leaving you, then why are you? Let him be, if he wants to be an asshole that's his problem. Also if you think he might do it again, inform your friend.

Your family? Its about time they realize you're not just about your grades. Have a serious talk with them. But before everything, I think you should apologize. You know for fighting with them. Then make things up.

Your job? I really hope you quit it. I don't know why, but I'm not the least comfortable when I see a girl having a parttime job. Try to make up with your parents and ask them for money instead.

your friends? Let those two date, even though you might be a bit hurt seeing them together. Just make them notice they've been leaving you behind, and not just because they were dating that they can stop talking to you or seeing you often.

I don't know about the Japanese one, I told you, if you think your ex might ditch her too, tell her to break up with him before it's too late.

You do what you think is best.

And uh considering that I don't know you and I never saw you I don't think you'd believe me but I really think you're beautiful. Everyone is. And there is no reason for you not to.

if you want to wear makeup, wear it. Just don't feel insecure about your natural face.

Also don't strave yourself. Like seriously, don't. Youre more than fine so go ahead and eat whatever you want.

I bet you're looking too unhealthy considering you're 169cm tall (oh hey tall girl right there, that's rare these days!)

You should really just feel good about yourself, because that's what makes you different. No, that's what makes you limited edition; if that feels better.

So for now please wipe away those tears and stop crying, that if you're still awake. go take a good warm shower and sleep while, uh, hugging Baby Lion.

nice to meet you, if you ever feel down don't hesitate to message me. Or we can do it face to face. Over two good warm mugs of coffee. You have my number.

I mean I'm not courting you or anything I uh

I would just also feel good about myself for helping someone, haha

Take care, good night

ps: I'm Taehyung

-

I'm Hajin.

#taehyung #kimtaehyung #bts taehyung #bts v #taehyung angst #taehyung texts #taehyung scenarios #kim taehyung scenarios #bts angst #kpop angst #kpop texts #taetae #taehyung oneshot #taehyung fanfic #taehyung drabble