#have never been with someone thats just as obsessed w me as i am w him <333 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

2knightt · 3 months

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could u write the gang (seperate) x a reader thats like. deeply and unashamedly obsessed w them

not in in a weird way but like soda makes reader a cake and theyre like “wow ur so talented u should be a baker youd be the best baker in the world everyone look at this isnt my bf such a good baker?? isnt he so cool???? arent you so jealous of me???”

or they visit the DX on steves lunch break and theyre like whats all this? and steve starts explaining the car stuff to them and theyre like “omg ur so smart ur the smartest person ever the DX is so lucky to have you <333 soda come look at steves car isnt he so good at this??? babe u should like reinvent cars youd totally do it better than washington or whatever”

or just reader holding hands and sitting on laps and kissing faces at all times basically the gang x reader thats all over them

「 i just wanna get high with my lover! 」

IN WHICH—you’re totally in love with them!♡ ໋֢ 🎞️✧

📀ヾFT. THE GREASERS࿐ྀུ ♡

⌗ 🕯️ notes !𖥔༌ ᰷ ﹅ i’m Finally working on reqs. WHO CHEERED???? also new theme for fics. got bored of my old ones😜

Dallas Winston ;

“you’re so strong, dal. you look so good when you fight, did you know that? you’re like the only person who looks that good when fighting. you’re so cool.”

“…thanks, doll.”

was SO STARTLED LMFAO

like??? he’s never been showered in compliments like this before. but he DOES welcome it

cocky bastard. you boosted his ego. it’s too high now.

“i stole this for you.”

“DALLAS! you didn’t have too, oh my god! you’re so sweet—and talented! i can’t believe you stole this—for me! i have the best boyfriend ever! i am so lucky, ain’t i?”

“yeah, i know.”

SHOWS U OFF SO MUCH. he just likes the reaction you give him when he does, honestly. like dallas LOVES hearing you ramble about him when he’s beside you.

he’s all, “yup. i AM the best boyfriend ever, dickhead.”

“this my partner.”

“mhm! dally’s the sweetest ever! he’s so nice to me, don’t you think? ugh, i love him so much. he’s the best boyfriend in the world.”

the way you look at him with lovesick eyes makes him wanna hold you forever and never let go btw.

IF YOU SIT ON HIS LAP AND DO THAT??? ohmy fod he’ll lose his fucking mind!!!

dallas winston looking up at you while you cradle him between your legs, his hands gently holding your waist while you gush over him, a small pink hue across his cheeks.

AHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHHH

“you’re so handsome. you’re the prettiest boy ever. i love your hair, it’s so nice. with or without the grease.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.”

has the most DISGUSTING and GROSS lovey dovey smile across his face has you plant kissed across his face, mumbling sweet nothings as you do so.

feels like you’re an angel when you do this after a bad day btw. loves you sososososo much he’s so down bad

Johnny Cade ;

looks up at you with the biggest puppy dogs eyes you’ve ever seen as you sit on his lap, kissing his scars. johnny’s lips would be slightly parted as he seems mesmerized with every movement you make.

WHIPPED. HE IS WRAPPED AROUND YOUR FINGER. the SECOND you started gushing over, he got a small grin on his face, a sense of pride washing over him.

he, like, never knew you seen him as this magnificent being. johnny’s confidence was never great but PHEWWW you’re always there to help him!!!

“you really like my scars?”

“totally. they make you look so cute, johnny. they make you, you and that’s all i could ever ask for. you’re so cute. i love you. any person would, i’m just so glad that it’s me.”

he’d get so shy after but johnny would be walking with his chin slightly higher. ‘cause deep down he’s all, “what if they don’t actually mean it☹️?” and then you show up outta nowhere and like engulf him with a hug and he’s like “nvm…i love ‘em actually☺️.”

whenever you brag about him to people, he has to look at his feet to keep himself from smiling too much.

“and if you ever need someone to listen to you, nobody does it like johnny! he’s the best listener ever, nobody can ever compare to him. johnny’s such an angel!”

“y/n…”

he’d mumble, an embarrassed groan leaving his lips as he rubbed the back of his neck, kicking a rock.

contrary to popular belief of you being more in love, he is. he swears up and down that you’re too good to him, that you’re a real doll, that he doesn’t deserve someone like you.

johnny needs someone like this in his life NOW! and if it isn’t you it’s gonna be me.

Ponyboy Curtis ;

so fucking embarrassed i’m crying.

i believe he can’t take compliments for SHIT. so being around you, he just becomes a mess. like stuttering n’ shit.

“your voice is so pretty. you read so much better than everyone else, pony. you should do it as a job—you’d totally beat everyone. it’s not like it’d ever be a competition with you there, though. you’re so cool, pony.”

“i-uhm…thank you, y/n.”

GIGGLES SOO HARD LMFAOOOO

like at night when he’s with soda, he just rambles to his older brother about what you told him. soda thinks it’s cute in the moment, but later wants ponyboy to shut up because it’s been two hours of him gushing over what you said to him.

“and then they said that i-“

“OKAY, DAMN. i have work tomorrow and you have school. ponyboy, please.”

“…okay? they said that i was the prettiest boy they’ve ever seen.”

“holy fuck.”

like he’d be ranting about some drama with the gang or some movie he’d seen, sitting on the couch as you rest your head on his shoulder.

you look over to him, thinking he’s never looked more perfect. ponyboy had washed the grease out of his hair, the fluffy hair falling over his ears.

unconsciously, you tuned him out as you leaned over, kissing him on the cheek.

“what was that for?”

“you tell stories so well, pony. you’d make a great writer, did you know that? i’m so lucky to have you.”

“i-huh?”

WAHHH COMPLIMENTING PONYBOY WHILE ATTACKING HID FACE WITH KISSES AS HE GIGGLES ☹️☹️☹️

he’s so cute thay’s literally my man….!!!!

Sodapop Curtis ;

HE’S SO IN LOVE!!!!!

sitting on the counter while he cooks and you just rant about how perfect he is makes him WEAK IN THE KNEES.

“you’re such a good baker, soda. nobody does it like you do. you’re like—the best baker in the world. ain’t he, two-bit?”

“stop it, y/n..🤭🤭”

“nah, ‘m good.”

you brag about him to the girls that go to the DX to flirt with him. i can see it now.

soda’s just in the background giggling SOO HARD AND TWEAKING WITH STEVE LMFAOO

“no, he’s so sweet to me! i swear, he’s like the best boyfriend ever, did you know that? i’d be jealous if i was you, honestly.”

“TEEHEE”

“soda, shut up!”

“i’m the best boyfriend ever, steve😛.”

HE DOES THE SAME THING FOR YOU IT’S SO CUTEEE😭😭

“you look so cute today, y/n. i got so lucky, didn’t i? had to be blessed to even have you in my life.”

FUCK i need this man at my doorstep

like imagine sitting on his lap, him staring up at you while you push back his hair with a small smile on his face. the silence between the two of you being broken by exchanged compliments.

YOU TWO MAKE EVERYONE FUCKIJG SICK I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT!!! YOU GUYS ARE SO PERFECT TOGETHER IT MAKES ME VOMIT!!!

Darry Curtis ;

tries to act cool and nonchalant when you do it, but he turns his head away to cover the huge smile that’s growing on his face.

“you’re so strong, dare! you’re the strongest person ever—you could totally take down anyone. isn’t he just the best, soda?”

“alright, that’s enough, y/n.”

“but you’re just so good to me, dare. :(.”

“sweetheart, please.”

“alright..”

“he’s smiling, y/n.”

“and blushin’…i love your brother so much.”

“everyone knows.”

AKDNSKDHEKENKDS SITTING ON HIS LAP WHILE HE SITS ON HIS CHAIR, READING THE NEWS PAPER🤭🤭

like your arms are wrapped around his neck, his arms around your waist as he reads the newspaper over your shoulder while lazily responding to your rambles.

“you look so cute with your reading glasses. you’re the most handsome boyfriend in the whole world. i’m so lucky, ain’t i?”

“you’re a real treat, y/n.”

—

“i love your hair, darry. you look so much better with this hairstyle than anyone else. you should be a model.”

“i’d be a terrible model, dear.”

gang is so jealous of your relationship btw. they call it bullshit that darry pulled you.

they fake gag and groan when you do this but in reality they’re like, ‘damn…when is it my turn to be happy.😒’

darry’s self esteem’s alright. it’s not the best but it’s not the worst. but you’re always there to remind him he’s absolutely perfect :).

Steve Randle ;

HE’S SOOOO WHIPPED LMFAOOOO

like i swear to god the second you went on a rant about him he was so ready to marry you right then and there.

“you’re so good when it comes to cars. honestly—you could just make your own and it’d be 100x better than whoever made them before. you’re just the best mechanic ever.”

“really? you think so? ‘cause if i were ever to i’d totally change the way they-“

and now steve’s on a 12 minute rant on how he’d change cars to rub better while you just sit there, listening to him with a smile.

YOU HAVE HIM SOOOO INSANE LIKE I SWEAR TO GOD!?? he couldn’t ask for a better partner if he tried!!!

like, i imagine steve’s always had confidence issues—being friends with soda n all don’t really help.

BUT THEN YOU CAME ALONG AND HE’S JUST VISIBLY HAPPIER😭😭.

“you’re so smart, steve. like—the smartest ever.”

“stawpp, oh my god. what else am i, though?”

“you’re cute, awfully nice, you got the prettiest eyes the world’s ever seen-“

please tell him all this while kissing him all over. he needs it so bad.

teehee lazily kissing steve randles face as the blush across his face grows from the never ending compliments that leave your lips😜

he’d totally tell you to shut up and when you don’t, he just kiss you.

AUGHHHH

Two-Bit Mathews ;

AUGH HE DOES THE SAME THING FOR YOU !!!!

honestly—he didn’t like it at first. ‘cause deep down he was all, ‘wtf??? i’m supposed to be making them swoon n’ shit??? why am i the one giggling rn??😒😡’

but overtime he’d look forward to your silly little love drunk rambles. tell him he’s the most thoughtful boyfriend ever when he’s drunk and he might cry.

“YOU REALLY THINK THAT? BABY, STA-“

and he’s like actually sobbing while hugging you.

sitting on two-bit’s lap in the backseat of his car at the drive-in, ignoring the movie you guys came to watch because you’re both too focused on each other.

kissing every inch of his face, laughs leaving his lips as you mutter small comments about how cute his laugh is. unconsciously, his grip on your hips tightening.

FUCK i’m making myself feel lonely writing this.

every single good thing you say about him gets internalized. someone could say his hair’s dumb but then in his head he goes ‘NUH-UH! y/n said my hair is absolutely perfect😜’

#2knightt #the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #dallas winston x reader #johnny cade x reader #ponyboy x reader #ponyboy curtis x reader #sodapop x reader #sodapop curtis x reader #darry curtis x reader #steve randle x reader #two-bit x reader #two-bit mathews x reader #this fic had no reason to give me this much trouble to post #fuck tumblr and it’s stupid ass updates lmfao

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spacexseven · 2 years

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tuna you have nooo idea how many ideas i have about yans falling for their doctors but i will give u something simple: port mafia; ie: chuuya, akutagawa, pm dazai, etc. x good-natured hospital doctor. one day theres a major clamor about how someone turned up outside the hospital with grievous injuries. at first its all hands on deck to help them, but eventually someone figures out that theyre mafia and everyone jumps ship. darling’s colleagues try to persuade them away from the dying mafioso, telling them how getting involved with the mafia in ANY way will turn out bad for them and to just leave them to their fate, but darling keeps to their oath and decides to take over their care.

its tiring work, working round the clock alone to keep this bastard alive, but it’ll all be worth it in the end, right? wrong. yan’s FIRST order of business when waking up and finding themselves in a hospital is to flip out. threats, attacks, the whole shebang. big tantrum. eventually darling reasons with them that theyre far too injured to go anywhere for the time being without like. dying. (this wouldnt work on dazai that well lol) and if they wanted to turn them in or kill them they wouldve done it like 2 days ago. they even agree to submit to the mafia’s retaliation if they find their care insufficient. their patient agrees, albeit very angrily, and darling sets off on the worlds most thankless job.

any of these fuckers will give darling a run for their money. dazai would spend a lot of time trying to intimidate them into letting him out early or goad them into killing him, stealing things to hurt himself with, harassing the nurses, faking symptoms, anything he can think of to make their life harder. chuuya is just NASTY, nothing to say to the person Saving His Life besides threats and insults. can never leave a check up on akutagawa without at least one bruise. so on and so forth. no support from colleagues either, darlings decision to Do Their Job making them a pariah. even so, they offer their testy patient their care and kindness without falter. as soon as theyre well enough to get up and walk out, thats exactly what they do, and darling would be lying if they said they werent glad to wash their hands of the whole thing. they’re, of course, back the next week with a new injury that they INSIST that DARLING SPECIFICALLY must look at and suddenly acting like they’re besties. darling lets them, of course, even as the injuries they come in with are more and more ridiculous, all the while trying to gently steer them away from ever coming back before they get them arrested.

well, if you didnt want them hanging around you maybe you shouldnt have been so sweet. are they supposed to forget about you holding their hand through shockwaves of pain? your soothing voice? the way you stayed up all night to watch over them while they slept? do you think they get THAT at the mafia infirmary? say, why dont you come and work there! they see how your colleagues spurn you, how ungrateful your other patients are for you. doctors are VERY highly regarded among the mafia, itd be a great fit for you! itd also let them personally make it up to you for being so awful before. win-win, right?

- 🩹

i am terribly sorry about how long it took for me to answer this 😭😭😭 i did consider a similar idea but w/ darling doing the underground doctor job for extra money (we need to start raising funds for darling) as well if you're interested!!

im gonna use dazai as a placeholder for this if u want one w chuuya and aku lmk :>

cw: yandere characters, obsessive behavior, jealousy, obsession, injuries, harassment, taking advantage, implied coercion.

injuries aren't uncommon in this line of work, and bleeding out with a terrifyingly gaping wound is not a new sight for port mafioso. usually, though, mori already arranges for other people to come in and take care of the injured, and they steer clear of hospitals and clinics. it's not smart to get civilian doctors involved in this.

usually, things go as planned.

today, it didn't. dazai's subordinates were strewn somewhere else, leaving him wounded and isolated. to make things worse, he was positioned awkwardly close to a busy street. he should have anticipated that the enemy would have some other trick up their sleeve. now what? was he going to die here, like a disgraced dog? he would prefer something less painful and embarrassing, but beggars couldn't be choosers...

maybe he should have accepted mori's offer of even more backup.

he couldn't reach for his phone, and even if it didn't hurt so bad and he could get it, his fingers were trembling so much that he knew he couldn't type out anything. god, how pathetic. death was death. he couldn't be too picky about it, could he? he would welcome the end.

to his surprise, he woke up.

he was sure he was in a hospital. the plain walls, the simple bed. the papers nearby and the person in a white coat gave it away. this was bad news, terrible news. he wasn't supposed to go to any hospitals or clinics unless mori said so, and now he was here, getting treated by any regular civilian doctor.

obviously, dazai decides the best course of action is to kick up a fuss. they wouldn't hold him here against his will, right? he screams and kicks and threatens everyone until he's exhausted and the staff is ready to throw him out themselves, but you stop them. he recognizes you as the person in his room when he woke up, and watches as you defend his behavior by telling everyone how confused and frightened he would have been after waking up with no recollection of what happened in between. confused, frightened? he was mortified by your choice of words, and worse yet, it was working. everyone backed down, turned their backs and went on with their day.

and you have the audacity to turn back and smile at him like you hadn't just embarrassed him, telling him that it was expected he would have reacted so negatively, promising to help make sure his stay was as comfortable as possible. what stay? he wants to get out, but when he voiced this demand with a hoarse throat, you look more shocked and rush off to get him something for his voice instead. you sit down beside him with a hand on his and carefully explain why he has to stay and why it's important he works with you for a speedy recovery. you ask him for who you should contact since he didn't seem to have any existing identity, but he only turns away and tells you he wants to leave.

he does this for as long as he's hospitalized, complaining about everything, reminding you he doesn't have cash and that killing him would be your best course of action, since he couldn't afford the bill anyway. he tries to run away and pull off stupid stunts, but nothing works. it's infuriating how calm you are about everything. you leave and go back to your usual routine, stopping by to check up on him occasionally. the other staff, however, look terrified of him, and he relishes in the trembling hands and rushed exits. during one of their visits to sort out his room, dazai pretends to sleep so they can actually get things done without fearing he will kick them all out the window, and overhears a particularly interesting conversation.

he learns that you were the one who insisted they treat him despite everyone else noticing the signs that he was probably part of some underground organization. some determined line about how it's your job and you need to help everyone regardless of personal feelings. he thinks it's all bullshit, but your determination...is kind of cute. it's only a matter of time before you end up as soulless and exhausted as everyone else in the city, though.

then the long awaited day comes, and you announce that he can leave. he doesn't care to ask for a bill or thank you, running out and disappearing to talk to mori again, but he would be lying if he said he didn't think about you even after that day. for some reason, something about you really stuck with him. it might have had something to do with your relentless insistence to help, your unwavering patience, your calm conduct, or maybe your...voice. your sympathetic tone, your firm hold...your presence.

a week later, dazai shows up to your workplace and demands he get his hand checked out. he whines until they drag you down and then he exaggerates his terrible condition, how important and urgent it was and how he needed to be kept inside the hospital for a few weeks at least this time. it's very serious, you know. you saw through his lie, but you don't bat an eyelid, immediately complying to his outrageous demands. he was a little happy that you hadn't changed. so despite how often he showed up, with a new but small injury, you took it in stride and treated him with all the concern and seriousness he expected. could you blame him if he liked to be fussed over like this?

what he didn't like was the knowledge that you treated all your patients like this. none of them deserved the same meticulous inspections, soothing touches, dedicated service, and warm smiles you gave. it wasn't fair that he came in all beaten up and you could only come in for a quick greeting before rushing out after another patient. and for what? your meager pay? well, if he could talk to mori and get you brought over as a personal doctor for some of the high-ranking members, you'd get paid well and you could be with him all the time while doing what you loved. it was the best of both worlds, wasn't it?

#yandere bsd #yandere x reader #yandere bungo stray dogs #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #yandere bsd x reader #yandere bungou stray dogs x reader #yandere dazai x reader #yandere dazai #yandere dazai x reader #yandere dazai osamu #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #doctor reader 🐟

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silenthillmutual · 6 months

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do you mind expanding on why you don't like CBT? i'm just curious cause i also have various things wrong w me (including baaddd fatigue) & i've been doing cbt for like 6 months for anxiety :P

i don't mind! but there's not really a ton to my answer. i expect that a part of why cbt doesn't work for me is because my mother is a therapist who used cbt (and judging from some things she's said about my childhood, probably aba) with me growing up, and it just... didn't work. it never lessened my anxiety. back in undergrad i had a cbt workbook, thinking it would help me work through the problems i was having, but every time i tried to use it, it just made me more stressed out.

sort of related, but the apa's page on cbt starts off by talking about how it's the most effective for of treatment for pretty much everything, better than medication, but the page doesn't link to any studies about this and i'm not sure if thats something you even could objectively measure. but the idea that it's 'more effective than medication' for even 'severe mental illness' feels like complete bullshit to me, and i think it creates a bias in some therapists, as i felt discouraged from taking medications in the past.

i don't deny that cbt helps some people, but i also don't believe it's possible to simply problem-solve your way out of, for example, hypo/mania or even depressive episodes when youve got bipolar disorder. which is, i'm guessing, part of why it doesnt do shit for people with cfs. the idea that someone experiencing a flare up can rationalize their way into feeling better is utterly ridiculous. cbt is, i am fairly certain, the main treatment for ocd, but how is it supposed to help me when my borderline delusional brain has already rationalized both the obsessive thought and the compulsive behavior?

i agree with the central tenet that coping skills are important, but something about the way cbt has been used with me has consistently made me feel like it was my fault that my brain works the way it does, and whenever i bring up something that happened in the past i feel dismissed. ive literally been told by therapists that since i no longer live in a bad situation, i should no longer act like i do, despite having lived in that situation for 84% of my life. it just feels like a very 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' approach to therapy that does not click with me at all.

regardless of my personal problems with it, i do hope it helps you, anon - and if it doesnt, i hope you find something that does! i think a lot of younger therapists are taking the approach to use a variety of therapies instead of sticking to just one. good luck!

#harker answers #idk how to tag this

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no-shxme · 1 month

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GUESS WHO JUST READ TEETH

holy FUCK talon is autism. i didnt realize until i read this and it smacked me like a FREIGHT TRAIN and as im reading this im pretty sure im looking in a mirror but its almost 7 am and i haven't slept yet so who cares

im. i dont think i can properly express how feral this fic makes me i am going absolutely INSANE about this it is literally SO GOOD i have been curious about what this would look like from talon's perspective and it did NOT disappoint agh i am so EXCITED for it i am literally shaking this is amazingly well-written and it fucks SO HARD sett x talon my beloved. we need more fics for this. i am practically SCREAMING i love this sm thank you

talon can be obsessed with methods of killing sett id rather just pet his ears all the time i am but a simple creature

AHH you read teeth!!! YES THANK YOU

im glad that it made you feral since they're also both (mostly talon) feral.

AND YEAH he's sooo autism coded to me or at the very least someone who has sensory issues. (tho he has a lot of issues) BUT in his type of situation he's never been in the position to figure that out. He's just got too much on his plate at all times. ;w;

and he probably needs some actual good secks but thats an aside

#shx answer #teeth #I LITERALLY JUST GET HAPPY WHEN I FIND OUT THAT PEOPLE EVEN LIKE #READ THE FIC #even just reading it is enough for me to go YAYYAYYAYYAY

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kurjakani · 10 months

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Alright quick question..we have similar taste in fictional men and I’ve never watched Bleach before should I start it so I can obsess over Mayuri as well?

HMMMMMMMAH rly hard to tell. Ok sorry bleach fans i love u but im gonna shit talk this show a bit. Pls dont read if u cant handle me rambling abt my personal experience w a show meant for 15 year old boys. I actually love it deeply !!!!!!! I enjoy ir a lot!!!!! However. I really struggle w watching the show sometimes. Its over 300 eps + the movies which i havent even gotten started with. It's difficult bc theres a lot of cool moments too but good lird esp at tge start the fights consist of characters deciding that they have more soul power bc of some memory they had and beatinh eachother. Everyone is confident there is character variety but everyone is like supposed 2 be a huge badass and idk thats just not my type of media (which is why orihime is actually one of my favourite characters bc she stands in such contrast w her confidence issues and damseliness. Also Ishida i love Ishida i love his arc in the umm when they had the bounts and his self reflection about his inabilitu to help the others + hes always rly analytical in fights. Mayuri too bcs all of his power comes from thinking & experimenrting & PREPARADNESS. I dont remember him ever mentioning soul power bc hes like only talking about technique. Zaraki is also incrhesting bc he is overpowered, but to a point of ridiculousness and where he has an one punch man styled conflict w being unable 2 find someone he has fun fightinh w) i like casts full of losers and freaks. Talking of freaks Tite Kubo is one and will NOT stop making fucked up jokes, esp about girls. His humour is shit theres been like. One scene where i laughed out loud and it was bc ichigos dad pelted him w no mercy bc hes used 2 him being able to fight but ichigo was just tired and he flew thru the room thats fr the only time ive laughed. Theres a lot of rly dark topics also treated very lightly, including when it comes to Mayuri??? Esp his treatment of Nemu. As far as ive seen!!! The storyline has an interesting end in the manga tho and like it seems more thoughtful but ive yet to see that. But the treatment of Nemu as a prop to show how awful Mayuri is and to also be fanservice rly. It frusturates me. Theres so much like, interesting stuff you could do w her character. Again tho im at ep like 180 so maybe there will be!!!! For the good tho Tite Kubo has just. Theeee most incredible eye for character design in my eyes hes so fuckinh good its ridiculous. Even a lot of the side characters are mega memorable and its no wonder a lot of thr characters are absolutely iconic. Also the show definetly gets better the beginninh is just so. Slow. As u can prolly pick up from my earlier notes there are a couple characters that i fuxking loooove aside from Mayuri. As for mayuri he is fuckinh viile and they make some gross jokes abt him too but he is so. Ill b real hes just sexy and also transformation coded so. Literally childhood fave chinhands emoji idc. There also are some great interactions between characters!!! Thr main characters rly care abt eachothef and are so devoted 2 taking care of eachother and i think thats lovely. They can be cranky and mean but theyre always worried for eachother and rwady to help and i think thats just so sweet i like that dynamic. Sorry i di have more to say abt the show as u can see i have some big big emotions abt it and i care abt iy sm but it also often frusturates me deeply a lot of tje time. Its a show you endure. Thank god it jas a dub bc i am watcjing it while knitting / drawing etc.

#Ask #Anon #Im sorry this is so mean but i do genuinely love this show and thats why its fallpits rly suck extra much #If i didnt like it. Well id still wagch it for mayuri but yk. Id be way quieter about it.#And just say it sucks dont watch it #But i fucking love it its a strained love tho esp bc of the constant fucking freak ass jokes sTOP

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goremet-chef · 10 months

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just found someone who makes monster hunter lego builds do NOT speak to me im. this. GRGRGRG

anyways heres some gifs i have of monsters cuz im in love with this series forever and always (super long ramble SFJKS ive been writing this for hours)

odogaron + ebony odo is like.... you dont understand. thats me i kin so many monsters from MH its insane like.. thats literally me nothing reflects me better LOOK AT THEM. rathalos, odogaron, nargacuga like any red scary thing i resonate with deep in my soul its insane

this one is one of my headmates favorites. shrieking legi really came thru when he was having a bad time and i love this for him. ITS JUST LIKE... so many of the monsters resonate with us on such personal levels, that its hard to even explain. i am selfish, and i do view monster hunter as my game (got that autism special) like these are my creatures they were made for me

REAL TALK THO, these two were genuinely actually made for me look at this shit

unknown (black flying wyvern) and valstrax my beloveds. fucking god tier

the fact that i already resonate with the rathalos so hard, and it turns out theres a black and red edgier cool version of it/????like are you insane when i discovered this thing i was. SO UNWELL IN MY CHANNEL ON DISCORD i literally rambled about it for AN HOUR STRAIGHT. then when i found out about valstrax i rambled about that one for an hour too SKFJS like wow they are so cool. autism is real

also have this one, xeno'jiiva is so. MHW was my first MH game (say what you will) and god damn. im gonna be real idk if id be so into it if it wasnt for MHW, cuz like.... the main appeal of the entire game series to me is the monsters themselves. like im. when i first started i was TOO SCARED TO FIGHT THE GREAT JAGRAS (yknow. the first large monster you fight 😭😭 like the 3rd quest. insane) because ive never been into fighting games and having something large PURSUE ME didnt sound pleasant

crazy that i went from being too scared to play it again to LITERALLY playing for 72 hours almost STRAIGHT with minimal pee and sleep breaks, and giving myself carpal fucking tunnel cuz i was just. obsessed. AUTISM IS REAL

went from couldnt stand 10 minutes of it to 400 hours in game SKFJSD

and i would do it again bitch!!!

so what im SAYING. alright. is that im not a fighter in games (well NOW i am, but before i super wasnt) but what drew me in was how i could just.. watch. how i could see all the big scary monsters sleep and eat and walk around and fight eachother. how i could get their tracks, listen to their sounds, ETC. like it was so. IT WAS THRILLING and ive never been more in love

like for context my first special interest is fnaf and i wouldnt be anything like myself if i never got into fnaf like life changing shit. but i gotta say, i mean. ive played the fnaf games and i love the story and EVERYTHING this is not a diss on my first home!!!! but i played MHW to the point of exhaustion, to where i needed to have an arm brace and even then despite the HORRIBLE PAIN in my wrist, i still kept playing

i played so much i literally managed to rub the s and w letters of my siblings keyboard KSJFSF like it was for real. i miss that, like a lot. i dont play as much anymore because i mean. i have it on my laptop. my laptop is a gaming laptop and it can run!! but its better for my

yknow i dont think i have an actual reason and im literally about to cry thinking about it SKFSFJ the good computer with the good graphics and running is my siblings and id need permission, yknow how it is. PLUS im a bit stuck? i need an urugaan ruby for my barioth mission lmao but ill get there

monster hunter world is so beautiful. the environments are fucking stunning, the visual upgrade for the monsters was INSANE and just watching them be animals? it brings me so much joy KSJSJSJ

one of my favorites is the rotten vale, which is funny cuz i remember the first time i ever went there i was so. PARANOID. i use sound with pretty much everything i play since my eyes might not track everything thats happening, so hearing the ambience for the vale freaked me out so much, i stayedat the camp for SO LONG and good thing too cuz the radobaan makes its way down that path and i was shook SKFJSF

also the big fucking dalamadur skeleton in the vale is so. UGHHHH

i love horror and rot and decay!!! its frightening its unsettling but even still the vale is such a necessary part of the ecosystem!!! like wow monsters come there to DIE? are youINSANE

(dalamadur is like one of the biggest monsters for reference. the whole upper part of the vale is made of its skeleton cuz its a big snake its so UGHHH)

also the???? STOMACH ACID POOL?

they were cooking bro,,,,, such a gorgeous and unsettling environment goddd

like GOD i cant think of anything better, the story for MHW is so good man. the tracker said "its an ecological marvel" and i took that personally (i repeat that so much about random shit its not even funny how long ive been doing that for)

or how like... any of the docile monsters (tobi kadachi, banbaro, kulu ya ku, ETC) i genuinely if i go on expedition, and i see theres a docile monster in one of the locales, ill go there and just follow them around the ENTIRE TIME SFKSFS

heres SEVERAL pics of me with banbaros at different times KSJFS

that isnt even all of them with JUST banbaro 💀💀💀 its my favorite activity

and sometimes i get hit with the banbaro / nightshade paolumu / coral pukei combo!!!! thats a triple docile whammy!!!!! thriving

also heres a cute viper tobi shot :] love viper tobi

also also i cant believe i never said anything yet but VAAL HAZAK??? my actual liege look at this mf

MY LORD!!! vaal is so fucking cool man. and the KICKER??? DOCILE

whenever i do this quest i do just follow it around for a while (which. ive had to do this quest A LOT cuz i thought i get vitality crystals from it (yknow cuz i got some from it) so i have probably 100% killed more vaal hazak than any of the other elder dragons SKFJSF

vaal hazak is so cool cuz its covered in rotten meat and uses the effluvium (corpse gas) as its like. life source. it pulls excess effluvium from the vale into itself and expels it when theres not enough, so its keeping the ecosystem tame its so cool UGHH

also one of its moves it plays dead its so fucked up itll fall over like you've knocked it over and then just lay there but you hear its inhale and it looks up and BLASTS YOU with its effluvia gas beam (WHICH. THAT THING HURTS!!!!!! for real the effluvium attack is so. plus it also halves yr health? like if vaal hits you with that shit itll give you miasma or whatever and it HALFS YR HEALTH BAR and you gotta eat a nulberry to negate it

im not one for switching shit around in my like item bar tho (MAINLY cuz most the time ive played MHW was with my siblings mouse and its scroll bare was broken so swapping items was hard) so i just put on like 3 effluvia resistance gems and it cant give me miasma. problem solved SKFSJF

i did get so tired of fighting it cuz yknw its a hard fight its an elder dragon, but i will say like the MUSIC? thats one of the things like. when we fought megan in the forest, they gave us battle music and THAT is why i kicked ass and abandoned all my fear, monster hunter instincts kicked in and i tanked alright like it was NOTHING, battle music just hits different

vaal hazak theme is so fucking good!!!! "keeper of hades" ARE YOU INSANE? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND????? i cant believe this shit!!!!!!!!

youtube

monster hunter stop being the coolest franchise ever challenge KSFJSF

i did do vaal hazak fight with no music before cuz i was trying to see and. THE MUSIC DOES SO MUCH? literally there was like no adrenaline without the music it was just. :| oh. im in the vale. thats the dragon. hes gonna breath attack. okay LIKE IT WAS SO LACK LUSTER IT WAS INSANE

i never realized how much the music did for fights but its so.. vital bro like it gets you in the fighting mood it compliments the monster and the area its !!!GRAAAAHHHH

monster hunter soundtrack is literally so fucking good. BANGERS back to back literally every song is so fucking cracked its epic

dont even get me STARTED on "proof of a hero" that song makes me stim so fucking hard man it makes me feel so fucking good. my sibling made his ringtone for me that song and AUGHHH crying sobbing

like yeah this is proof that im a hero!!! literally makes me feel so proud and FOR WHATTTT

idk im such a firm believer in the importance of sound design, sound design is EVERYTHINGGG and MH does such a good job with that shit, the monster roars and environmental ambience, audio cues to what attack is gonna happen, the music its all. perfect 10/10 godtier shit

anyways this is my monster hunter ramble, it most likely will happen again. love this game with all my heart

#monster hunter #MHW #MH #monster hunter world #another love letter to this game #even tho ive written like 50 things like this in other places #JUST AS LONG TOO SFKJSF #Youtube

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fruitpunchjollyrancher · 3 months

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my shitty treatise on "ants from up there" and gale dekarios

this is the gale album of all time. and i WILL elaborate. (also warning im only posting this because i have been obsessed with this fucking album and gale for a WEEK and need it out of my brain. im probably not going to explain too many lyrics and i get nervous expressing my ideas because tbf to me it seems quite obvious but ofc i can explain, assuming anybody reads this post)

"Concorde" immediately stood out to me like oh this is so gale. i dont even think i need to explain how gale this is. the rest of the song is super gale too, i just don't want to include screenshots of the entire song

"Bread Song" has a LOT of worship imagery and also below alluding to appearing fine but rlly inside he is not well <3

oh my god. "Good Will Hunting". the mentorship but also wanting her to depend on him a little but it's unfeasible, weaving a whole life in his head that can never be because mystra will never see him as an equal... also the pre-chorus 👍 i am so well

"Haldern"... i literally dont know how to explain my feelings about this song in relation to gale pls someone tell me u see the vision

"The Place Where He Inserted the Blade" is more headcanon/my interpretation but im just gonna focus on the parts that i think everyone can agree on. first 2 lines arent super applicable to mystra but ig i can rationalize it as her being detached from the world/not rlly participating (i.e. why didnt mystra just stop the absolute herself (im aware its because ao doesn't like it when they meddle, im smoking that true forgotten realms pack trust me)). but the MAIN part of this song that is so gale to me is the vines breaking bones, bones heal, our school friends sign our cast on the playground, my body is yours. like holy shit being a chosen of mystra is a huge fucking deal and despite the pain it can cause (that he doesnt even notice because "tied me up slow with your vine stuff / it takes a few years") but it's definitely encouraged among wizards/mages in any circles he was in and by elminster ("we tell all our school friends / and they sign our cast in the playground"), then of course the last line breaks my heart. rest of the song is also rlly fucking good please listen to this album.

"Snow Globes" has more religious imagery but tbh i dont know precisely how i feel about it in relation to gale so im just gonna skip it

"Basketball Shoes" shows a more hopeful future but still #suffering because thats just how it is. concorde being mystra/his relationship to her tears his life to shreds, defines his life, leaving him with nothing. keeps seeing her everywhere (wizard stuff, his damn earring, he's always saying "by mystra" like bro you're intersecting at the market town on purpose atp (i get it)). i interpret the part after that line break (idk why genius doesnt just say its a different verse, don't quote me on this idk anything about music theory) as post-game where he's still Not Great but it's better and moving on, there is a future. doesn't look to mystra anymore (throughout album especially in good will hunting and bread song the s/o is mentioned through headphones, wifi passwords, phone calls, so "never look at our phones anymore" means he isn't thinking of her anymore or trying to curry her favor).

alsoooo should mention that i didn't include the part of "The Place Where He Inserted the Blade" that mentions a lunch metaphor in relation to panic attacks and possible cheating so the "feelin kinda normal with a packed lunch" is doubly meaningful, he isn't freaking out while making lunch anymore

this verse is tav (or whoever u romance as gale origin idgaf)/gale as he is trying to find a new object of devotion in his romance. "the clamp" could be many things, from reminders of mystra to all his perceived inadequacies to lost opportunity to become a god w/ the crown of karsus.

third section of the song im kind of undecided on w/ gale like we got the religious imagery again, could interpret "generous loan/crippling interest" as mystra's deal for him to return the crown of karsus in exchange for no orb. but yea idk yet

and that is the entire album (- chaos space marine, i didn't really think of anything related to gale when listening to it but it's still a great song, PLEASE listen to this album). so yeah if im horribly wrong on any of my takes be sure to send me hatemail k thanks bye

#to be fair i can't tell how much of this is me projecting onto gale #me 🤝 gale #pretentious ambitious probably autistic nerds who love with unspeakable devotion #anyways #gale dekarios #bg3 #Spotify #apologies for the first incarnation of this post #where i did not know how to add the “keep reading” thing #im new here ok

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jinkicake · 1 year

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BIG MOOD PATHETIC SCARAMOUCHE IS SO FUNNY HES RLY THE LITTLE MEOW MEOW😭 need him to be absolutely obsessed w me but he’s too embarrassed that he wants to hold my hand so he pretends to hate me and im like “ that’s mice sweetheart what di you want for dinner?” Saw someone make a dc where you ignore him for like 5 days and he’s on his knees begging like “PLEASE LOOK AT ME” like thats so real to me😭😭 bc once you’ve given him affection he’s gunna do everything to keep it within his grasp😔 ALSO HE DEF WOULD TIE YOU UP AND LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN💀 childe and singora are so casual about it😭 when he comes back they talk like you’re not even there “how long have they been here?” “I lost count after the fourth hour” “ they’re still conscious I’m impressed” like he’s such an asshole but he will do the 🥺🥺👉🏼👈🏼”can I have a hug” afterwards💀 love that for him. Keeps him in my pocket like a little purse dog, he’s my guard dog boyfriend bc he will kill first and ask questions later. “ I don’t like how he looked at you” “he’s the waiter” AND YOOOO DONT EVEN LET DOTTORE UGLY ASS COME CLOSE TO YOU ITS OVER FR-don’t like his new design he’s just a creep like I was the “clones” back the short haired funny scientist dude like I like them unhinged in a clown way!! He’s fuckable, the abusive leather daddy dom on the other hand😒 like he’s fun if he has a tired annoyed uncle personally like he lives to bully childe. But just going around threatening scaramouche and collei bc I forgot he did experiments on her too in the manga is musty like that mask is lame!! WHERE IS THE CLOWN KING😡- he would reflexively go for his throat like he opens his mouth and suddenly his throat is slit “ my bad I got anxious” SGDHSHS UNDERSTANDABLE😭😭😭 and the streets is saying he’s gunna have a claymore??? BE SERIOUS HES A SCIENTISTS TWINK WHOS HUNCHED IVER IN A LAB ALL DAY HE CANT CARY THAT SHIT?? Like he only experiments on KIDS bc he could never kidnap a whole adult like imagine he tries to get itto?? HIS ASS WOULD BE DEAD IN 10 SECONDS!! HE CANNOT FIGHT DELUSION OR NOT!! I would beat his ASS like if you don’t get your ass out my face looking like an X-ray 😒 like be bothering all them people bc he wants so ass he weights 70 pounds soaking wet so he needs to borrow childes body weight

no exACTLY. listen, i love mean!scaramouche as much as the next person but if he's not obsessed then i dont want him. pathetic!scaramouche is the best scaramouche

i saw this scaralumi fanart of him drunk at a bar and diluc calls lumine to calm scara down and when she answers hes like 'hey ugly' and she hangs up and he starts crying again and ugh it's too perfect like that artist captured his best side with that simple fanart heheh

HAHAH yeah scaramouche is the worst bc he would do something so mean to you like ignore you while working but the second he finds out youre mad at him he'll be begging for your attention like he didn't just starve you for two days.... hes a great yandere me thinks-

Scaramouche = purse dog is the best comparison ive ever read T T

okay hear me out... i can forgive all the heinous crimes dottore has committed but i draw the line at him being UGLY. Maybe if he were cuter I would also be obsessed w him but he's so..... eh- LOL i like the clones better than him! (rip to the clones :-(() but also.... him being ugly is kinda the appeal? am i right??? i can never make up my mind-

dottore is supposed to have a CLAYMORE?! WHAT THE HLLL,,,im very confused about his leaks bc i heard that the shit company can't let characters be playable if theyre evil and tbh i dont want him to be redeemed bc he literally cant be redeemed and hes fun as a psycho like??? idk idk idk im just focused on sexy yelan in 3.4 she will be mine!

also isn't dottore one of the top three strongest in the fatui??? right i think....? i seriously dont know how but tbh i dont care! i just focus on mr hottie soooooooooooo sexy capitano teehee

#sarahandoikawatalkshit

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sinsandsweetness · 7 months

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girl i have been w my partner five years. we are OBSESSED w eacjother,

we turn eachother on just by looking at eachother, he is the most respectful sexy, funny man ever and NO i dont feel butterflies!!! i feel like sometimes that can be associated with nerves, which i dont feel due to our level of comfort. but also i feel like it can be because of like thrill. theres NOTHIBG wrong with thrill go the fuck off. but like. i feel thrill with my partner. sooo much horny and sexy and happy thrill. but it never leads to butterflies. and i dont feel like im missing out on them. because to me; i feel excitement and joy, but no nerves. theres nothing wring with feeling or not feeling butterflies. nothing is correct or incorrect in ANY relationship. pls do not stress. u are not necessarily kissing the wrong people. you may just not associate with that butterfly feeling. and thats ok 💗💗

I think I hear what you mean. My issue is that I’ve never been obsessed or stupidly crazy attracted to a partner like that anyway. I wish I could be. I wish there was that mutual obsession and chemistry and horny goodness.

I’ve never had a partner that I felt fireworks with and I always feel kind of meh about them. I live them and I find them sweet and funny but there’s just something missing. That spark maybe? I find sex generally pretty underwhelming no matter who I’m with. I usually just prefer my own company (not to be too tmi😉)

I think what I really mean is that I’ve yet to find someone who I trust fully and truly in an intimate way. I would take a guess that is a sign of some unresolved trust issues and intimacy issues so maybe that’s all it is and I just gotta work through that on my own. But I still just long for that obsessed feeling. Those fireworks and sparks and genuine attraction.

So while I hear what you mean, and I agree that maybe “fireworks” don’t need to be felt. Maybe it’ll feel more serene and simple and just completely right and perfect. Where I’ll just feel aligned and connected to them on a deep and intimate level.

So I think in my case, I actually am just kissing the wrong people😭

#anons <3 #personal #sinsandsweetness advice column #t talks <3

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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 2 years

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hi. can i share something. its pretty personal...its sad but also a message of hope.

so. ive been freaking out rly bad about attending this bladee show tomorrow, august 6th. the real reason for this is not just my ocd and social anxiety but also.. last year on august 6th my really good friend died. they were going by the name saint at the time. i only knew them online but we were extremely close since around 2014. we would talk often, and in-depth, bcus we both had extensive interest in metaphysics, god, angels, etc. and we both had dead parents, specifically dead from illness, so we rly deeply related to each other on those matters. they were like 9 years older than me, so i looked up to them as an older sibling. it absolutely shattered my heart when i found out they died because i know it was an accident. i think they OD’d on fentanyl cus they had been posting about relapsing shortly b4 they died. but i dont know for sure, there’s no obituary for them since they don’t have parents or family. i have cried about it every day for a year.

when i saw what day the bladee show was, i felt a million feelings at once, like, oh my god, is this some kind of orchestrated angel event? saint had the most unwavering faith, they believed in angels more than anyone ive ever met, there was no doubt in their mind. we would talk about our synchronicities constantly. it was our fav thing to discuss. they were so validating of my experiences. so in a way, i rly feel like, their angel is escorting me to this show as some sort of gift for making it thru the past year. ive been going thru my saturn return on top of grieving their death, and idk, its just been one of the worst times in my life, ive never been closer to giving up. the timing of this show rly makes me feel like saint is blessing me. bladee, saint and I are all life path 9s who r obsessed w metaphysics n spirituality, which adds to the meaning of this synchronicity for me.

the reason ive been so terrified to attend the show is because i keep having ocd freakouts that someone is going to die or that, like, this date is evil and tainted or soemthing. like literally to the point that ive spent a few entire days this past week just crying in my bed because im so terrified of losing anyone else in my life. but as the show gets closer, i am realizing i just need to trust god and believe that im allowed to enjoy myself. believe that saint’s angel is protecting me and my loved ones, just like they have every day for the past year. they have sent me so many signs, and ive known a lot of dead people but never have i received so many obvious signs from anyone, even my own father. it makes me wonder if saint graduated the rebirth cycle, since they were a 9, and they brought so much goodness to this world. i think they graduated and are now a very powerful angel forever.

its been so hard to go on without them. they were my grief councellor fr. there were some years of my life where they were one of the only people i talked to because no one else could understand. they loved POSTING, we met on tumblr and they were always so supportive of the way i express myself. after they died was when i started drawing and posting on here again bcus i knew i had to honor them this way. i cant put into words how much their friendship impacted me and i wish i could do more, i wish i cld plaster their face onto every wall and scream from the rooftops “THATS MY FRIEND AND I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!”. god i am going to cry so much at the bladee show, i know they’ll b rite there on my shoulder the whole time.

if u read all this, thank you. it weighs on me massively n i try not to show it too much online but man. i have been a mess. n sometimes i just wanna spill my guts. i cld say so so much more about my dear friend but i’ll leave it at this for now. im praying that the show goes well tomorrow and everyone makes it there safely. if u guys cld pray for me too id rly appreciate. i rly feel like saint is with me and im allowed to have hope now. i love you saint. thankyou for posting so much so i have plenty to look back on. <3

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kwonhochi · 7 months

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hii for the ask game! 💛🐰🍪🐶🎧

nana hii!!!!!! <3

💛 - do you have any piercings?

just the standard two (one in each ear) rn </3 but i have been wanting more piercings for Ages i’d love to get some in my upper ear cartilage + another set in my earlobes + maybe a lumbar piercing if we’re getting crazy… maybe a nose piercing if we’re getting even crazier :3 i think piercings r so cool and i’d love to explore it more. very gender…

🐰- what do you think says the most about a person?

hmmm… im not sure honestly! ive never understood what this question meant 😭 i cant really come up w an answer for this fhskfh people are… not something i pay that much attention to? if that. makes sense? not in a self obsessed way just i dont really analyze people around me i just sorta exist alongside them. tho when the topic of anything vaguely political comes up i feel like a lot gets revealed really quickly. someones kindness and compassion when interacting with people is an importwnt trait 👍 to me. trying to cover all my bases here hopefully i answered Something..!

🍪 - if you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

a sugar cookie w either strawberry or lemon icing ^_^! but specifically from this one shop my parents would take me when i was little i have very vivid memories of it - my sibling and i used to beggg for some cookies from there anytime we went to the target across the street from it. they sold these minisized sugar cookies that were maybe the width of a pingpong ball? and they were so good the cookies were all soft and the icing was a fat dollop on top that would cling to ur upper lip or the tip of your nose when you bit into it. the taste of my childhood fr those things were the most prized treat one could receive. the shop closed a long time ago and i havent had them in so many years but thats what i would be i would be one of the mini lemon/strawberry sugar cookies from there…!

🐶 - are you more of a dog or a cat person?

definitely more cat person (the crowd pretends to be shocked) HFKDHD i have worked so hard to make liking cats my 1 personality trait like i love thoise. creatures…. i really hope in my next life im reincarnated as a cat thats my ideal existence :3 i dont mind dogs at all !! just sometimes theyre overwhelming and loud and wriggly.:( loses points for team dog unfortunately… tho something i will never understand is how so many dog ppl hold such a strong and unrooted hatred for cats ? i have run into so many people who fr think cats are the devil incarnate and need to be burned at the stake or whatever like……Ermm.. its a cat . they purr whenyou cuddle them and u can feel it echo through your chest…. i think thats great

🎧- headphones or earbuds?

earbuds ! headphones have always fit around my head weird and smushed my ears which i dont really enjoy </3 plus when i wear earbuds i can pretend i am putting the music inside of me ^_^

ask game ❣️

#this was very longwindrd and its 1am again… silly me…#ty for the ask 💞💞💓🫶

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asking-jude · 1 year

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cant talk to anyone irl about this so here i am lol. my mom used to make comments about my body, and how id be so much pretty if i lost some weight (when her comments started getting to me i looked up my bmi (ik bmi isnt the best assessment of weight/ health) to see if i was really that bad and i was normal leaning underweight) that kinda helped me, and i felt better for a while, and her comments on my body stopped (but her comments on her own never did) but i guess in quarantine it got to me more than i thought lol i started browsing the ed side of tumblr and downloaded a calorie tracking app, for two weeks i ate less than it recommended (im an overachiever lol) but i didn't lose any weight (technically i did but it wasn't visible so it doesn't really count lol) but the whole time i was terrified of depriving my body of fuel, accidentally starving myself, and overall doing more harm than good(which is why i refused to purge or fast) so i deleted the app and stopped. this was one or two years ago, so i thought it was over it, but lately the little nagging voice thats been telling me how much better id look and feel if i lost weight is getting louder (and more convincing). i want to lose weight but I don't want to do it unhealthy/obsessively or spiral out of control. any advice? (i dont think i had an ed, just an unhealthy relationship (ig fear would be more accurate lol) w/ calories/food in general)

Hi love,

Thank you for opening up and sharing this information with me. I know it can be hard to feel like you’re going through this alone, so I want to ensure you that we are always here to listen.

I first want to start by saying that it is never acceptable for someone to make disparaging comments about your body, even if it is someone in your family. It looks like you mentioned your mother has also made comments about her own body and appearance, so you may or may not be aware of the idea of projection. If you’re not familiar with this idea then a basic explanation is when someone unconsciously transfers their own feelings or emotions onto someone else. From what you’ve described, it seems that your mother is placing her own insecurities and negative body image on you, which has left you feeling self-conscious about your own body. Remember that her comments are not a reflection of your worth or value as a person.

It’s more than understandable that the cumulative stress of quarantine and the comments from your mother have led you down this path of an unhealthy relationship with body image and food, but know that there are ways to move forward. It’s also not uncommon for these thoughts from the past to resurface. Just know that these are just thoughts, and thoughts don’t always have to be acted on.

One way to cope with these thoughts is to practice self-compassion. Reminding yourself that you’re valuable and deserving of love and respect can help you counteract the negative self-talk and build a more positive relationship with your body and self-image. Body neutrality is another idea sort of related to this. Body neutrality is the idea of accepting your body as it is, without judgment or attachment to your appearance. By focusing on how your body feels rather than how it looks, you can develop a more mindful and intuitive approach to eating and exercise.

This article provides practical tips and strategies for practicing self-compassion, which can help reduce self-criticism and promote self-acceptance: https://positivepsychology.com/how-to-practice-self-compassion/.

Sometimes practicing body positivity can be really hard, especially when you feel like you don’t have the most positive mindset right now. Try reading this article to understand more about body neutrality. It provides a few practical ways for incorporating this idea into your life: https://tinyurl.com/52z8t7j4.

It’s great that you’re trying to refocus these negative thoughts into bettering yourself in a healthy way. I can give you a few tips on how to start. First, try to challenge these thoughts by not focusing on weight or a number on a scale. Remind yourself of all the positive things about your body. Focus on your overall health and nourish your body with balanced meals and physical activity.

Second, you can try surrounding yourself with positive influences and friends that can encourage you to make healthy choices. Have you ever sought therapy to help you work through these negative voices/thoughts? A therapist or counselor can help you to develop coping strategies and build self-confidence. If a therapist isn't financially viable for you, Asking Jude has pay-what-you-want, remote peer counseling services; for more information, contact [email protected].

Don’t feel pressured to get over these thoughts in a set amount of time. Be patient with yourself and remember it’s possible to build a healthy relationship with your body.

Here you’ll find guidance on how to navigate weight loss after experiencing disordered eating, including tips on developing a healthy mindset and setting realistic goals: https://tinyurl.com/2x9zh69b.

"Healthy Eating Plate," created by Harvard University, provides practical advice and a visual guide for individuals to adopt a healthier and balanced diet: https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/healthy-eating-plate/.

If you’d like to develop a healthy exercise routine, try reading this article that provides practical tips for recognizing and managing triggers, choosing the right exercise environment and equipment, and seeking social support: https://tinyurl.com/3vtmcnkw.

Finally, if you ever need to talk to anyone, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Here is the link to a national toll-free helpline, online chat support, and phone number: https://tinyurl.com/2z4ydwbc.

Please take care of yourself and always be patient. Feel free to reach out again if you need to.

We’ll be happy to help, Mikayla

#ask #advice #mental health #mental health advice #ed #ed advice #ana #mia

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