#have regressed to that equivalent of a feral raccoon suffering from mid stage rabies

[toddhowardxreader]

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#do not perceive me #im :^) just having a lovely little time thinking about how my social skills over the past year #have regressed to that equivalent of a feral raccoon suffering from mid stage rabies #too much bright light/too much open space/tooany other creatures around me/too much noise = i will start biting people #thank you autism and social paranoia for this beautiful dysfunctional combination. i cannot be released back into society without a three y #year rehabilitation period first where i re-learn how to interact with humans without physically attacking them . #i spent the first two decades of my life learning how to build the functional facade of normalcy around peers . that's all gone now #im actually terrified of going back to work because i have no self inhibition instinct anymore #from extended period of my only social life being online my norms of acceptable interaction have shifted violently #ngl i possess a healthy amount of latent fury and loathing towards those that have retained normal high functioning jobs and social lives #cool good for you but actually fuck you #i have a weeklong meltdown over one worthless online interaction but enjoy your fucking day job if #anyways. tired of being the way i am #wish i could actually be a rabid raccoon so animal control would euthanize me