#have them say that the reason they questioned gods plan was because they didnt understand how god could punish those for their decisions

[ankhisms]

ok i didnt take a lot of screenshots while i watched but i did write down some thoughts as i was watching so heres episode 41-44 thoughts

ep 41

really fucked up that ZECT has a like gas bomb that makes worms lose their mimic abilities and then they go in and kill them like honestly in that scene it seemed like the worms were like hiyori and rich boy and reina like just living normal lives not harming anyone. frankly im on the worms side here that was fucked up

tendou really climbed an entire mountain just to be dramatic on the top because of course he did

theres a new goth guy in town with a trench coat that hes got the hood pulled up on so you know he means evil business

"what does it mean that i am the top of zects son" kagami how have you gone this long without knowing that your dad is the boss of zect. like i know youre estranged. but you work for zect.

aw rich boy is so worried about his besties being hurt

kagami has admitted that it was a lavender marriage

tosses glitter and falls over, dead

KAGAMI HAS BEEN TACKLED AND HANDCUFFED FOR TRYING TO SEE HIS DAD. I HATE HIS DAD..kagami we need to kill your dad

renge voice how did you get an entire huge bed with a canopy over it inside our tiny ass cafe. did you really have to sleep here. tendou voice who cares. have breakfast. dont question anything that happens anymore

POURING SUGAR ALL OVER THE TOFU WHATRE YOU DOING

"the end is close" ok thats not ominous at all. normal things your dad says to you

"father why was i born" kagami..... kagami my friend kagami )): i havent seen anything about the end of kabuto but i do genuinely have a bad gut feeling about how everything might end for kagami like im concerned about him

the hoppers looking at rich boy and going god i wish someone would call me young master and spoil me and rich boy going hahaha so true. who the fuck are you guys again is so funny. and then theynjust start fighting for no reason like ok yeah sure

"please dont hold a grudge against my son" "i dont hold any grudges against kagami" dont worry mr zect president tendou is holding something else entirely against your son. as in hes holding him in his arms and um

"im not doing this for zect im doing it for someone i trust" aw kagami. i still think its a bad fucking plan

OK SURE HE WAS A WORM THE WHOLE TIME. SURE. WHY NOT.

"i wont trust anyone anymore" GOD. KAGAMI. IM VERY WORRIED ABOUT HIM LIKE WOW. HIS LIFE SUCKS CURRENTLY

THEYRE PUNCHING KAGAMI REALLY FAST HASNT HE GONE THRU ENOUGH

i get kagami might be a bit shocked that the guy hes been working with at zect and really trusted is a worm but like. i dont understand him having such a violent and like disgusted angry response to him like kagami knows that hiyori is a worm and knows that tsurugi is a worm and he has no issues with them?? and like his team mate guy was trying to protect him and help him and rushed over to see if he was ok and tried to help him up so its just kind of like. kagami i get you might be shocked but this is still the same guy youve always known and respected and trusted its just like. cmon now

ep 42

"time only flows for me" ok sure! whatever the fuck! i just am accepting every single thing that happens now because like yeah why not. this might as well happen enough bizarre unexplainable shit has happened already we might as well through something else in

watching a hostage tape ransom message on a projector

ok the zect counsel is like hooded mysterious figures. makes sense

TOFU DUEL......... TWO!!!!!!!!

i can not believe i forgot about kagami having a brother which was a whole thing in the beginning which was very tragic and sad it feels like the whole direction and feeling of the show has changed so much since then

baseball with feelings

"i kept seeing my sister in her" UM. DONT SAY THAT

i love kagami pushing open his jacket and touching the gattack belt in the same kind of movement an old wild west cowboy would do to reach for his gun holster in a shootout its very fun

misaki why did you say yes to going out with him suddenly. misaki please

it feels meaningful to me that tadokoro comes to save kagami and fight the other worm in his human form.... and then him reaching out to help kagami up and kagami taking his hand vs how kagami reacted when he first found out. cries

you may be able to stop time but consider this: im the fucking sun

not gorou chan is so mad about not being able to launch a missile attack. typical government behavior

TENDOU DITCHED THEIR TOFU DUEL

uh oh the other tendou is here

ep 43

other tendou skips into the cafe and is like lalalaaa im going to kill tendou. okay byeeeeeeee and skips out

"hiyori doesnt want to see you any more" DONT SAY THAAAAT HES HER BIG BROTHERRRRR

i do enjoy tendou two as a character so far hes fun

"how did you come here from the edge of time and space" "lol not telling you"

help this really is like this universe isnt big enough for two tendous

tendou two, while beating tendou up: whyre you hitting yourself stop hitting yourself

why must we fight the goth evil worm guy why cant we kiss him

cant visit your boyfriend in the emergency care ward of the hospital unless you look hot

the evil goth worm guy being able to copy any attack he gets hit with is a fun twist

IM NOT MISAKINU. IM MISAKI. YOU TELL HIM GO

"when my mimic defeats me" tendou. dont fucking say that. but also it makes sense. hes the kind of big brother who would sacrifice himself to save his little sisters. but like tendou. tendou your sisters need you alive. kagami needs you alive

"keep it all a secret from kagami" STOP!+!!!!!!! NO. YOU KNOW THIS IS GOING TO BREAK HIS HEART YOU KNOW HE WOILD DO ANYTHING TO STOP YOU FROM SACRIFICING YOURSELF

crying and sobbing about tendou teaching jyuka to cook. he loves both his little sisters so much but also he misses hiyori and cooking with hiyori was their sibling bonding activity

aw tendou two loves hiyori in his own way and doesnt want hiyori to be sad ):

the scene with tendou saying i have to die to save hiyori and kagami trembling and yelling AND I HAVE TO WATCH AND DO NOTHING WHILE YOU DIE?? they were in love there

yknow what i cant even blame hiyori for saying shes not returning to the world ever again. its her choice she should be allowed to make that choice. but also. sad

ep 44

i kind of wonder if hiyori was written out of the show because her actress was needing to do something else but i could always be wrong it just is kind of what the whole deal felt like

NOT MY RICH BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!

did not at all expect kageyama to stop his hopper-isms and put on a suit and be THA BEE again but im proud of him

oh he fucking got his ass kicked. well he tried

LETS GO HOME.... WAAAAAA... I LOVE YOU SIBLINGS...

i do feel bad for tendou two like it kind of seems like his entire existence was made to revolve around pretending to be tendou to keep hiyori there or whatever but also they had him fucking chained up and locked away tortured and now hes all alone. that sucks so bad for that guy

oop kageyama took off his suit hes back on the path of hell

OK TENDOU TWO IS GOING CRAZY. OK. DID HE JUST FUVKING KILL HIYORI. HOLY SHIT

#kr kabuto lb

[nekioe]

(I wrote this to my friend and didnt check spelling misstakes etc but heres somewhat of a lore recap though biast)

we like some wilbur drama dont we? (heres another essay this time we got wilbur!! our king and master manipulator!!! who i love to hate)

okay maybe this isnt an essay i think it got more theories but yeah

wilbur hates dream and by god he doesnt understand him or his motives!!

im confused by yesterdays lore. first wilbur tries to help tommy by taking him to the place he was abused on and asking him about things that happened, making him talk. i have no opinion on wheter that was good or not because on one hand exposure therapy is a thing on the other tommy seemed very uncomfortable (but maybe that was good? im not so invested in their characters to create a good opinion i think)

when tommy tells him that dream drove him to suicide wilbur has a daydream about killing dream over and over again and laughing as dream screams. (sounds like someone i know hint,hint)

then he wants to take away dreams controll over tommy. his plan is to let dream burn a couple of fake discs that he says is tommys. this plan is so utterly flawed i cant even start on it. wilbur doesn not understand dream.

by making dream think the discs are gone wilbur thinks it will make dream powerless and unable to controll tommy. this plan is not the one he tells tommy.

the plan tommy hears (if i remember) is that they will go to the prison and start the alarm so that dream will come running there because of reasons? wilbur will have the discs because of reasons? at first tommy is unsertain and he doesn’t want his discs to be taken away but in the end he decides to trust wilbur eith the discs. (poor tommy lease realise that wilbur is abusive im so sorry my guy, i love you please :(((((( )

they enter the prison and tommy goes to start the alarm and in mere seconds dream comes back after them from inside the prison. (its his house duh) tommy freaks out and tries to attack while dream just kinda stands there like "wtf are you two doing in my house let me be mentally unstable in peace"

wilbur places some blocks and stands on a pillar and throws dream a book telling him to read whats inside it. when dream is done he tells him yo delete it and write what wilbur says (i dont have exact frase but basically 1. lmanburg was good 2.dream is aterrorist (says C!WILBUR lol) and 3. i actually dont remember but like something abt wilbur being a good leader i think?. anyways dream complies because honestly why wouldnt he? (also wilbur is threatening to kill himself if dream doesnt comply so-- you know. its just easier to comply than not int this situation and dream does not even care and days that multiply times.) anyway.

wilbur then throws dream the discs and tells him to burn them tommy absolutley panics because first of wilbur betrayed him, second thats dream DREAM holding his discs and he is going to burn them!!! (my poor boy)

after a bit of questioning dream does actually burn them and then wilbur and tommy leaves.

ugh. this is just a long as recap i dont even remember what the tiktok was abt.

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

I really want there to be a story about a passionate love affair between a character trying to save their own soul and the devil themself

#the devil literally watching their lover desperately trying to earn their way into heaven #literal definition of please do not go where i cannot follow #but knowing that hell is terrible and they can do nothing to make it any less terrible #just- #the FORBIDDEN ROMANCE #their lover cant say that they love them #because thats declaring a false idol #the devil is literally like #your soul is mine but is your heart? #showing the devil as angelic and having no/a changable gender #also #GETTING THE DEVILS POV OF THEIR OWN BANISHMENT FROM HEAVEN #have them say that the reason they questioned gods plan was because they didnt understand how god could punish those for their decisions #when he was the one that made them and made them the way where they would choose those decisions #satan questions the point of free will if humans have to choose to obey #questions why god makes people suffer if he supposedly loves them so much #why put people on earth if it is so full of sin #satan admits that hell is not only the damned souls punishment but their own #an eternity of having to punish people for choices they know they were made to make #of punishing those who didnt obey #of being mocked because if earth is so bad why would everyone rather return there then be in hell #of having to make people suffer and being hated for it #basically #i might write this

[thekingofwinterblog]

It’s all for his sake - Endeavor and the Sunk Cost Fallacy

My hero academia 301 is a pretty interesting chapter, but for me, the most notable piece of it was how Endeavour reacted to the realization that Touya couldnt surpass All Might.

upon realizing that his son might not be able to do it because of inborn physical limitations, he immediatly stopped his training, which frankly was the responsible and adult thing to do. 

This stint of real parenthood did not last long however.

After taking the matter to a doctor, he is flat out told that not only cant Touya achive what endeavor wants, but it is a direct result of his incredibly selfish and irresponsible attempt to play god, by trying to breed the “perfect” hero into being.

It is how you react when you lose however, that shows who you really are, and endeavor illustrates that very, very well.

Upon being told in no uncertain terms that his attempts at Breeding an heir failed magnificently, producing a child that was not capable of resisting his own immense power, but also admonished by his doctor for even attempting it, and adviced not to try again, Endeavor instead doubled down, while focusing on the child he screwed over from the start with his attempt at genetic manipulation.

It was all for him you see. Endeavor doesnt use those words, but that is how he spins it here. it was all for Touya, all for his sake. if i stop now, then Touya was all for nothing, a mistake, im doing this for my son.

if im doing this for my son, then im not responsible for any of this.

his wife however, calls him out on it, as she understands Touya much, much more than endeavor does. or rather, she sees him fully as a human being, instead of as a thing, a weapon, a failed attempt at an heir.

Unlike Endeavor, Rei is able to see the way this all is affecting her son. She is able to see, and understand that Touya has fully accepted what Endeavor wanted him to be. a stronger, and better version of himself. however, unlike Endeavor, she only cares about him as a person.

Endeavour by comparison isnt completely uncaring about Touya. like most abusive parents, he does possess love for his offspring, but it is forever tainted by the fact that however much he might care, or not care about Touya, any familial love he has for his son is tainted by the fact that to Endeavor, he is a failed experiment, a failed heir, not his child. 

He is the golden child that Endeavor was building up as his true and only heir, who he breed, trained, and molded to for that single purpose, and now that he’s reached a point where he cant continue that legacy.

so, its time to abandon him, and start over new, despite literarily having just learned how stupid this plan was, and that it can, in fact, go completely wrong, with a quirk that will fuck over the person he brings into the world.

Of course, Endeavor doesnt use those words to frame it. there is no way to pretend to be a hero, if you phrase it like that after all. Intead, this is the words he uses.

this is a very important series of panels for a great number of reasons, some that can be debated, argued, and we will probably never know the full truth to the questions because this is a series published in 2020′s shonen jump, and there are things that probably wasnt gonna fly with Hori’s editors, if it was the case.

but lets start with what can not be debated. Endeavor’s words here.

“If we want him to give it up, then we have no choice... Touya... Cant surpass him.”

These are very telling words, and however you believe The third and fourth children of the Todoroki family was concieved, there is not denying the meaning of what he’s saying here.

The only way that my son will stop being an idiot and fall into line, is if we have another baby. that is the only Right way to move forward. it is morally right, because if we dont do this, then he’s going to destroy himself.

there are two ways to interpret this scene.

The charitable way is to read it as the fact that he used Rei’s oldest son’s mental state as a justification of guilting his wife to have a third child, to give this attempt at a superpowered breeding project another shot, despite the fact that they now know that this can lead to a child who is essentially born crippled from his own powers, and despite the fact that Rei obviously understands the effect of them continuing this insanity will have on their oldest son.

the uncharitable way to look at it, is that he used this as justification for flat out raping her, and forcing a third, and then later a fourth child on her.

I personally believe the last one, given a number of factors shown in this chapter(the way this page is framed, the fact Rei obviously didnt want a third child, given she predicted exactly how touya would react, the way her eyes would latet turn when she looks at who is presumably touya which really brings to mind how she would later react to her youngest son’s face after her mental breakdown, etc.), but i’ll frankly admitt that withouth a direct quote from Hori, its impossible to know for sure one way or another. 

either way however, this is a very good example of Endeavor both being influenced by, and using Sunk Cost Fallacy to justify bringing another potentially crippled child into the world for his own, selfish goals.

sunk cost Fallacy, is a mental reaction to when you invest more time and resources into a project, that you becomes so emotionally invested into said project that you will continue to invest into it, even if it reaches a point that it becomes clear that the resources you put into it, far, far outweighs the potential gains you can achieve.

because if you give up after having invested years, and years of effort to breed, raise, and train a kid, and then all that effort was absolutely wasted. hence he choose to keep going, despite having learned what a terrible idea this is.

He doesnt care about the fact that his next child might be even more crippled than his firstborn, he doesnt care about his son’s actual wellbeing. he cares about the fact that if he doesnt continue this insanity, then not only will he not achieve his dreams, but everything he did to get to this point was for absolutely nothing.

and endeavor cannot accept that. and so long as he can justify breeding more children into the world, and there being any chance they might inherit both quirks perfectly, he doesnt care about anything else.

and the moment he realised that this kid wasnt gonna cut it either, he did it again. it is not a coincidence, that the age gap between Endeavor’s second, third, and fourth children were all 3-4 years apart. because thats the age where you can usually tell when a quirk will manifest or not, as established earlier in the series.

While she isnt brought up directly by Endeavor as a justification, it is very telling that Endeavor decided on having a third child, only after his second child was old enough that he could tell that that there was no chance she could take the place as his heir instead.

So, he had his third child, and as time passed and it became obvious that he wasn’t gonna be able to fulfill Endeavor’s goals either, he dumped him, and instead breed a fourth child into existence.

and finally, he struck gold. he did it. he produced Shoto.

everything was finally worth it, and now, everything would be absolutely fine. the cost fallacy had reached its end, and it was now all full sails ahead.

except of course it wasnt.

His oldest son, now in middle school, had been raised from birth to believe he would surpass his father, only to be thrown away, and getting to see his father try to replace him, not once, but twice.

frankly, this scene is probably my favorite in the chapter, because it goes to show Endeavor’s mindset. Natsuo made a point that their father completely ignored his older children. and he did... from Natsuo’s perspective. however, having a more thourough picture of things, we can clearly see that this wasnt the case with Touya.

Endeavor genuinly cared for Touya, enough that once he got that child he tried to breed into existence 4 times, he genuinly wanted him to just abandon trying to be a hero. he genuinly thinks of himself as a good dad here, wanting his son to abandon the mission he set out for him before he was born. of course, with context, this heartwarming scene is incredibly sad and insidious, because we understand why Endeavor got so attached to his oldest child. because he WAS the golden child. he was the child Endeavor genuinly cared about, and invested in, and trained personally with great warmth and enthusiasm.

And not only did he abandon him as a failed project the moment he realized he wasnt gonna live up to his ridiculous standards, but he literarily created 2 more kids to try and replace him, just as his oldest son was old enough to understand what exactly his dad was doing. over the course of this chapter, we get to see Touya’s start as a 5-8 year old, his deteriorating mental state over the years, until he finally seemed to reach the breaking point with Shoto’s birth sometime in his middle school years 12-15. 

Endeavor is in this scene, just not capable of understanding why Touya so desperately wants to become a hero, when obviously he isnt physically able to do so. he isnt able to understand that he is 100% to blame for the fact that his son is having a full emotional breakdown after literaly being replaced by his siblings. 

In other words, Endeavor genuinly think’s he’s a good person. a person who has made a few mistakes along the way sure, but a person who was always justified in the end, and now that he’s having to face the fact that as dabi would later say “The past never dies” and has to face the aftermath of his inane attempt to play god for the pettiest of reasons, things simply arent going to work out.

He isnt going to have a happy family, who can now put the awful early years behind them, he put way too much effort, caused too much suffering and sacrificed too many years of his life for this not to work out as he wants.

after all, if he walks away from this project now, and lets Shoto have a normal childhood, and decide for himself, with no pressure from him, wheter or not to become a hero, then the sunk cost fallacy will have reached a negative end. it will all have been for nothing.

and we know he did eventually double down on this mentality, literarily beating into Shoto that he WAS going to become a hero, and there was not but’s or no’s about it.

there was no way that Endeavor was EVER going to let things be for nothing. His treatment of his older children could not be for nothing. His treatment of his wife could not be for nothing. His treatment of Shoto, and the way he beat him black and blue to train him, could not be for nothing.

Because if it all was for nothing, if everything he feels guilty about was for absolutely nothing, then he was in fact, a bad, bad person, who had no justification for anything he ever did.

#my hero academia #touya todoroki #dabi #endeavor #endeavour #enji todoroki #rei todoroki #character study #301 #meta

[silversatoru]

the thin line between hope and despair

yelena x gn! reader

synopsis: you’re in love with yelena, and she feels nothing for for you. constant hook-ups and faded morals = very messy feelings

tags/warnings: nsfw, some smut?, angst, unrequited love, one-sided feelings, fuck buddies

word count: 2.5k

a/n: for my my sweet bby girl @brandmeyelena <3

Yelena knows what she’s doing with you isn’t right — on so many fucking levels. Taking advantage of your utter desperation for her over and over again when she knows damn well that she couldn’t care less about you. It wasn’t fair, especially for you, but she just couldn’t really find it in herself to feel sorry for someone so pitiful. You were so willing to devote yourself to her in exchange for mere crumbs of her affection, and it was pathetic. You left a sour taste in her mouth, a taste of sorrow and complete wretchedness, but you were also the perfect distraction. The perfect relief from all of her stress and all of her responsibilities with the volunteers. She was tired, and you were just so damn desperate to make her feel better — so how could she refuse? The answer was simple, she couldn’t.

That exact thought process is what landed her here today, with her fingers around your throat and your eyes rolled back into your head. She knows you love it too, being used like this — the way your cheeks grow flushed and your eyes get foggy when she cuts off the circulation to your brain. But she doesn’t do it for you — Yelena enjoys these things just as much as you do, her power hungry ego being fervently stroked by dominating you like this. Pinning you underneath of her and giving you orders made her feel in control — and that was perfect, because god knows she isn’t in control of anything else in her life right now.

Get down, she’d hiss at you, pointing to the floor with her long, slender index finger. Your pathetic frame would sink to your knees instantly, wordlessly doting to her every command. She’d lean back on her shoulders, her hips propped on the edge of the bed, and give you an expectant look. You know what to do. Do it, her voice would snarl, her empty eyes swirling with hunger. You’d feverishly obey, launching yourself forward and graciously opening your mouth for her pussy. You were dedicated to your craft, taking your time and ensuring that your tongue consumed every inch of her. Yelena’s head would fall back and, raspy, wet noises gurgled from her throat. She was entirely consumed by this twisted bliss — and she was a horrible monster for letting you do these things to her, but she felt far too good to care.

So now here you were, your tongue buried deep inside her while you worked desperately to make her feel better. She was quieter than usual today — the only things to leave her lips were small groans and half-assed insults. Things like the occasional “faster” while she pulled your hair, or “stupid slut” when you weren’t doing things quite right. The slander only made you work harder however, and honestly anything that came out of the blonde woman’s mouth was music to your ears. You stared up at her with rose-colored glasses, living in a delusional world where you truly believed Yelena cared about you.

It was a dreadfully fucked up dynamic — this relationship the two of you had, if it could even be called that. One of you lived in a terrible fantasy of what could be and the other was practically incapable of feeling human emotions. It was truly only a matter of time before the world started burning around the two of you.

A very short matter of time.

Yelena was spasming underneath of you now, warm juices and shaky convulsions racking through her body and into your mouth. You drove your tongue deep against her contracting walls, your eyes squeezed shut. A disgustingly sticky mixture of her fluids and your own saliva dripped down your chin as you finally pulled away, a bitter taste hanging on your tongue.

And Yelena was always quick to leave, she never stuck around any longer than she had to. She came, she came, and then she’d pull shitty excuses out of her ass as to why she needed to leave so soon. Those reasons more often than not consisted of one person — Zeke Yeager. Whether or not there was something romantic between the two, or if she was just highly devoted to him, you could never tell. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to know, honestly, because the answer might just break your heart.

Why don’t you stay tonight, Lena? You looked over at her as she pulled her trousers up her long, gangly legs. You craved something deeper with her, something more than just occasional casual sex — but it was really too bad that she didnt reciprocate those feelings at all. Sorry, there's a meeting tonight. I have to go. She’d respond, her voice dull as she carelessly brushed you off and slipped on her boots.

Will Zeke be there? Your voice always got low when you talked about him, but you made intentional efforts to hide the jealousy in your tone. Of course he’ll be there, he is the leader, she’d state dully as if this was obvious, and maybe it was, but it still made your chest ache.

You spend a lot of time with him lately, even outside of meetings, you’d state your observations out loud for the first time. Confrontation wasn’t something you enjoyed, and you certainly weren’t any good at explaining your feelings either. But your heart was starting to nag you lately, and you needed to voice your opinions before it was too late.

We’re preparing for a war, her eyes grew incredibly narrow, try not to make such selfish accusations right now. The words were like daggers of guilt stabbing between your ribs. Yelena had a way with words — a shiny silver tongue that always made you believe what she said without a doubt. You started to believe that you were being selfish — after all the war was very real and Yelena was very involved, that's probably all it was.

You’re right, I’m sorry. I just wish you were around more. Your voice was much quieter now, shame and remorse churning in your stomach -- maybe you would have been better off not saying anything at all.

We’re busy. You have to understand where I’m coming from here. It’s hard for me to make time right now, she’d continue to spew nonsense into your impressionable ears. She didn’t like that you were starting to question her, not at all. She’d say whatever you needed to hear to keep you around at this point — she didn’t plan on losing her little fuck-toy anytime soon. If you needed a little affection to keep you complacent, then she’d just need to put on a little show for you.

Come here, I’m sorry, her tone grew softer, but not at all sincere. You helplessly sunk into her spindly arms, and she pulled you tight to her chest. Just hold on until after the war, okay? Once we make the world a better place, we can do whatever you want.

More false hope, false promises, and false reassurance. The war would be brutal, you’d probably die at some point in a terrible event of collateral damage. You’d die and then Yelena would never need to fulfil her empty promises -- it was that easy, and you’d never know the difference.

That sounds nice, you’d smile, your heart warming at the idea of living in a free world with Yelena by your side. You fell ignorantly for her words, missing every single warning sign and every single red flag. Maybe if you’d noticed the subtle darkness in her eyes, the strain in her tone, or the way she hugged you a little too roughly, you could have saved yourself from the ensuing heartbreak. Or maybe if you had realized that with you being a scout and her being a follower of Zeke, it was unlikely that the two of you would ever work out. But you stupidly refused to consider any of these things, and it was going to cost you your heart.

That fateful memory was a few months ago, and now the both of you were in Marley, anxiously waiting for Eren’s plan to unfold. You were partnered with your friend Connie, his lips twisting into a thin line as the two of you hid in the shadows on top of an industrial building. You were incredibly capable with your 3dm gear, and even more capable with the new gun technology, but you were practically useless with your head in its current state. You watched the streets with fervent eyes, dashing them up and down nearby alleyways and hoping for any sign of Yelena. The attack hadn’t even started yet, but not knowing her whereabouts made you incredibly uneasy. She was probably wherever Zeke was, of course, but you liked to think that wherever she was, she was worried about you too.

Yelena was hiding in plain sight, dressed in a traditional Marleyan Army uniform with fake facial hair wrapped around her chin. She did as she was ordered, trapping two of the titan shifters in a large hole and then retreating back to her position. She was focused solely on her task, and on Zeke and how she could ensure his safety, and honestly, the thought of you hadn’t crossed her mind once tonight.

When Eren’s attack came, it came suddenly and violently -- and it was like nothing you’ve ever seen before, or at least not since the colossal and armored titans attacked so many years ago. Before you could even take in the horrifying scene in front of you, Connie was grabbing your hand and ushering you to run, the two of you taking off with your 3dm gear. You couldn’t stop your eyes from wandering as your body swung through the air, frantically searching the streets for the tall, blonde woman who owned your heart. But maybe you should have paid less attention to finding her, and more attention to where you were going.

Connie’s shrill scream shook you to your core, and at first you didn’t even notice the array of guns pointed right at the two of you. A group of Marleyan soldiers were lined up atop a building, every single nozzle of their firearms preparing to shoot at you and Connie. Your friend shot his gear downwards, swooping underneath the scope of the guns and shouting at you to follow him. And you tried, you really did, but you were horribly distracted and accidentally shot your gear into the very edge of a building. The hook crumbled the corner of the building and was unable to secure itself, sending you hurling to the ground beneath you. Your breath was wiped clean from your chest as you smacked against the ground, dust and dirt filling your lungs. Connie was forced to swing up onto a higher building, narrowly avoiding the bullets and unable to come down after you. Your bones ached as you peeled yourself off the ground, looking up just to see pieces of rubble hurling towards you. What the FUCK, Eren? You silently cursed out that irresponsible titan boy, scrambling to avoid the giant chunks of building that were quickly getting closer.

You thought you’d made it, your heart beat gushing in your ears as you launched yourself towards another building, only to be knocked back down by a slab of broken concrete. Pained yelps squeezed out from your throat as your body fell helplessly back to the ground. This fall did a number on you, your ears ringing and your head pounding with a dull pain. The large piece of rubble had crashed into one of your legs, rendering your leg immobile and absolutely crushing your gear. Connie couldn’t help you, not when saving you guaranteed his own demise — you needed to do this on your own, unless-

“Yelena!” You called out to the towering woman who was stumbling towards you. Her arm was wrapped around an injured Zeke, and she was working hard to carry him to safety. Levi must have rocked his shit again, you’d have to thank him for that if you made it out of this alive.

Yelena stopped momentarily when she saw your mangled leg, but not even an ounce of concern crossed her determined face. She looked you up and down, and then glanced down at Zeke as if she was weighing her options.

“I’m sorry,” She shot you a horribly unsypathetic look, dragging her gaze away from you and hurrying off with the injured blonde boy.

It was so simple, so short, and there wasn't the smallest hint of remorse in her voice. Your brain couldn’t process how easy it was for her to leave you there, your mouth hanging open in a small “o”. You would give your life for Yelena, and she didn’t even blink when you were faced with certain death — and that’s when it all started to set in. The delusional facade that you’d imagined between the two of you was shattering, small pieces of glass memories crashing and crumbling around you. The cruel owner of your pitiful heart felt nothing for you, and it had taken this long for you to finally realize.

All of the days and nights the two of you spent entangled in each other's arms had meant nothing. All of the time you spent with your lips locked against hers and her large hands caressing your body had been devoid of anything more than lust for her. Terrible embarrassment washed up inside of you as you recalled all of the sinful things you did for this cold-hearted, unfeeling woman.

Your motivation to fight was gone, your eyes locked onto Yelena’s tall figure as she ran further away and out of view. She’d picked Zeke over you again, she always did, and she always would. She practically worshiped him, like he was some kind of fucked up, twisted god. You weren’t sure why you ever thought you could compete with that.

In the midst of your complete breakdown, a firm arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you into the air. Connie had come back for you, cold air stinging your face as the two of you shot up to the safety of a tall, nearby building.

“Fuck, y/n, stop being so careless! And I hope you’ll finally give up on that lanky bitch after she walked right past you like that,” he let out an exasperated breath, slumping behind a large brick wall.

“Sorry… thank you,” you mumbled, “You really shouldn’t have risked your life like that”.

“No, but that’s what people are supposed to do when they care about each other. Is it finally sinking in, that she's been using you for the past year? I tried to tell you so many time-,” He continued to ramble on in frustration.

Every one of his words poured salt into your already burning wounds, tears beginning to leak from your eyes. Yelena didn’t care about you, she never did — she’d never even sacrificed time for you, never mind compromising her or Zeke’s safety for you. And you were stupidly ignorant to ever think that she saw you as more than a toy she used to pass the time.

#yelena #yelena angst #yelena attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #yelena x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan angst

[princessphilly]

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Join the tag list here!

CW: Angst, angst, angst. 

Word count: 2916

Nina sighed as she snuggled her pillow. It sucked watching Sidney shake hands in the handshake line, the disappointing end to a good season. She sniffled as she watched Sidney stoically shake hands with the Flyers, disappointment and anger on his face.

This season, the Penguins had drawn the Islanders in the divisional semi-finals. After a hard-fought seven game series, the Pens had finally got past the Isles. However, the Flyers, surprisingly, made it past the Canes and the Battle of Pennsylvania was on. Unlike 2018, the Flyers won this time, in five games. Nina put her phone on vibrate, just in case Sidney called her.

However, Sidney didn’t call that night or for a fucking week. Nina was understanding at first but understanding turned into annoyance when pictures were posted of Sidney golfing with Kasperi, Brandon, and a couple of the single players. Nina just was glad she had the foresight to limit comments on her IG to approved commenters because she had no interest in people asking questions about him.

Scrolling her phone, Nina read a text from Marisa: has he called u yet?

No, Nina simply responded. She wasn’t going to call him first either. Let him have his bitch fit and golf. He didnt tell me he was going to go do that n im not his wife.

Nina’s phone rang and she answered. “Yes, Marisa?”

“Oh, Nina, he’s a douchebag. I can ask Kevin to slash him a couple of times next season,” Marisa commiserated.

Nina replied, “He hasn’t called me or texted me since that night. I haven’t tried to call him since Sunday because fuck that. I know he got his superstitions and everything but, no. Hell no.”

“I agree. Have you been out?”

Nina shook her head before saying, “I was finishing finals so I haven’t been out. Karesha told me we’re going out this coming Friday and, you know I don’t party like that but I will.”

“Give him something to miss,” Marisa advised.

Nina scoffed, “Something to miss? He’s lucky if I let him talk to me whenever he gets back.”

**

Sid groaned as he turned in his bed in Cole Harbour. He was so fucking pissed about the way the season ended; they finally got past the Isles only to get tripped up by fucking Giroux and his Flyers. Fucking Hart was a damn brick wall and fuck, Sidney could sense that his time in the game was coming to a swift close soon. For the past week and in a half, he had been in a funky snit, annoyed and needing to be away after golfing with the boys.

At the same time, he felt like shit. Sidney knew he shouldn’t have avoided Nina’s call; he was still raw from the loss and he didn’t want to expose Nina to that side. But, she hadn’t called or texted him since and Sidney didn’t know how to break the silence that he had created. Picking up his phone, Sidney blinked when he saw all of the messages on his lock screen. The team’s group chat had been busy last night.

Unlocking his phone, Sidney’s eyes bulged when he saw the messages. There were pictures of Nina out, with one of her friends, wearing a dress that was barely there. Her hair was falling straight over her shoulders but what really got Sidney’s attention was the fact that there were guys all around her. Then Nate sent a text; i guess ur single now. Told u not to go home without talking to her

“I’m a fuck up,” Sidney moaned.

“Yup, you are.”

Sidney blinked as he looked at his phone. He managed to call Tanger and Tanger didn’t look pleased.

“Sid, we’ve been friends for a long time but, I didn’t think you were this stupid,” Tanger scolded. “Really?”

“You know with the way the season ended,” Sidney began before Tanger cut him off.

“Nina knows that. She respects that. Nina’s not clingy or needy like some of the other girls. But, Cath told me you haven’t even called or texted her? Wow, Sid, wow.”

Sidney blushed as he listened to one of his closest friends berate him. Tanger was right. But how was he going to even apologize without looking like a bigger dummy?

“Well, you’re already acting like a dummy, Sid, so you might as well look like a bigger dummy,” Tanger snarked. “Nina isn’t like the other girls. She doesn’t need you.”

Sid gritted his teeth at that statement, especially since he knew that it was very true.

Sidney heard French yelling in the background before Tanger stated, “Cath thinks that despite being so good at hockey, you suck at being a person. And you made Nina cry when Cath last talked to her.”

Sidney wanted to slap himself. He made his pretty girl cry. “Fuck,” he yelled.

“Yeah, fuck. Fix it, Sid, instead of fucking yourself over forever.”

Sidney scrolled his phone after Tanger hung up on him. It looked like he was flying into Pittsburgh asap.

**

Nina sighed as she padded in her apartment. Last night was fun, going out with Karesha. They had just gone out to dinner, a jazz lounge, then ended the night at a rooftop bar. Nina knew people had been taking pictures of her all night and that people were wondering where Sidney was but that wasn’t her problem. There had been plenty of guys willing to take her home but Nina wasn’t interested in any of them either. She still wanted Sidney but fuck him too.

Her doorbell rang and Nina looked at the panel. It was Sidney with a pastry box and a wide grin on his face. Nina opened the door with a smile.

“Hi, pretty girl-”

Then she slammed it in his face, her grin growing wider as she loudly locked the door. Just like a man, coming back right when they realized she was getting attention from other men.

“Go away, Crosby, unless you want attention because you’re knocking on my door,” Nina yelled from the inside. Putting her earpods in, Nina cleaned her apartment for the umpteenth time, singing along.

Sidney gritted his teeth outside of Nina’s apartment. He was expecting her to let him in, yell at him, then he would charm his way back in. He didn’t expect to get the door slammed in his face and being told to leave. His desire not to gain extra attention was the only reason he left.

Nina sighed when she heard Sidney stomp away. Her anger was starting to change to sadness, again. She had hoped this would be different but Sidney was just like every other man; ain’t shit at the end of the day.

**

“Take him for all his cash, girl. Then tell him, maybe I'll take you back.”

Nina rolled her eyes as she listened to Jamila. “For someone so wealthy, you sure like to talk about taking men for their cash.”

“It’s like this; men figure out their self-worth by how big their dick is, how many women they fuck, and how much money they have. You don’t want to go to jail so you can’t cut his dick off. So, fleece him and then dump him for good,” Jamila advised.

Nina sighed and Jamila groaned. “Oh my God, please don’t tell me you miss this dumbass. Dude didn’t contact you after losing in their playoffs! He ignored your call! He only contacted you in person after you and ‘Resha went out! The dick can’t be that good!”

Nina sighed as she listened to Jamila. Over the past couple of days, there had been Edible Arrangement deliveries, lunch bought for the staff, cards proclaiming that he was dumb as hell and sorry for being an idiot. And Nina still didn’t respond. No calls, no texts, Nina was still upset and feeling raw.

“Jamila.. Glass houses remember?”

Jamila sighed over the phone. She didn’t really have that much space to talk but she persisted, “You let him off easy, he’s going to walk all over you forever. I know I’m a fuck up but I never let a man walk all over me. Don’t let Mayo Boy, no, he’s Miracle Whip because that shit is disgusting and he hurt you. Don’t let Miracle Whip think he can apologize a couple times and you’ll come running back.”

“I haven’t made any decisions yet. Plus, I’m going away with Desi, Sio, Lauren, and Kim to Phuket. You know, that trip you helped plan but you can’t go on now,” Nina said as she logged into her workstation. Work had become a refuge of sorts. Everyone was pretty much professional, no one brought up anyone’s personal life. It was all about work and the patients and it made Nina happy. “I gotta go, I have a patient at 8:30.”

“Bye girl, and remember what I said,” Jamila replied.

“Byeeee”

Nina hung up and pulled her earpods out of her ears. It was time to focus on another day of work. Before Nina realized it, it was lunch time. Rubbing her temples, she sighed as she thought about lunch. Grabbing her purse and her keys, Nina made her way out of her office. “Rita, I’m going to get lunch,” Nina called out to the receptionist.

However, as soon as she left, Nina saw the infamous Range Rover in the parking lot and she closed her eyes. She wasn’t in the mood and it looked like it was going to get embarrassing for Sidney.

Luckily, it wasn’t Sidney who came out but someone totally different. Nina let out a breath she was holding and walked to her car. Her vacation was coming up in three days and she would be away for two and a half weeks. Sidney would probably leave her alone once he realized she was out of the country. Nina was sure of it, he had to have been icing her out to dump her anyway for the offseason.

**

“Still no call?”

Sidney sighed as Geno plopped in the chair across from his. He had put on his best smile today for Nikita’s birthday but he was feeling the strain.

“None,” he finally replied. Sidney felt so tired and such a fool. The best thing in his life had slipped out of his fingers and it was all his fault.

Geno snickered as Anna strolled in, holding a box. “Zhenya,” she asked before rolling her eyes at Sidney.

“Da,” Geno replied.

Anna started speaking rapid fire Russian, too fast for Sidney to even attempt to keep up. Geno started to laugh when Anna pointed to Sidney before pointing to the box. Then Anna abruptly turned on her heel and left the room.

Confused, Sidney asked, “What was that?”

Anna hadn’t been talking to him and Sidney felt like he was part of the subject of that conversation. Geno chuckled before replying, “Anna said that it’s a shame Nina isn’t here but she made sure to at least have a gift sent for Nikita before going to Thailand.”

Geno didn’t add the rest, which was Anna saying Nina had better manners than his captain, to at least send a gift that she didn’t have to send, before disappearing. He wasn’t interested in kicking his captain when he was down.

Sidney winced. Part of him felt a bit happy that Nina was somewhere, having fun but it was without him so it was his fault.

“Oh, look at this, Nina’s riding elephant,” Geno crowed as he looked at instagram. Sidney looked at the picture. Nina was riding an elephant, making some kind of triangle symbol with her hands. Then he looked at the comments and the first one said: look at you, dropping baggage and having fun.

Geno snickered before saying, “Poor Sid.”

“Not supportive, Geno,” Sidney remarked, closing his eyes.

There was a pause before Geno replied, “Maybe donate money to things Nina likes. Maybe she’ll talk to you when she gets back.”

**

Sidney checked his phone for what seemed like the umpteenth time. “Cros, she’s not going to text you.”

Sidney rolled his eyes at Tazer’s annoyed tone. Webs, Pricey, and Tanger laughed at him. They were all in Toronto together for a team Canada thing but that was over and they were out for drinks.

“Heard you fucked up, badly,” Webs stated in a dry tone. “When in doubt, always apologize first and buy the woman her favorite thing second.”

“Nina’s not big on buying stuff,” Sidney absentmindedly replied. Getting Nina to splurge on herself was like going to the dentist. It wasn’t fun.

One thing Sidney did realize from off and on monitoring Nina's Instagram was that she was big on helping out at the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank, she liked volunteering at the Humane Animal Rescue of Pittsburgh, and every year, she volunteered at a pop-up shop for girls who wanted to go to prom but couldn’t afford it.

Sidney wrote five figure checks to each organization, in Nina’s name, no strings attached. Sidney was serious about trying to get his pretty girl back and he knew that Nina was serious about volunteering and giving back. Now, he was just waiting to see Nina’s reaction. If Nina told him thanks but it was over, Sidney would be upset but he could accept it.

There were no texts that night but that morning, Sidney woke up to a text from Nina. It was a simple thank you but it meant more than anything to Sidney at that moment.

**

Nina sighed as she looked at the thank you cards that had been waiting for her when she returned home. This was so out of the ordinary, she had to text Sidney when she saw them. It was more meaningful than gifts.

The trip to Phuket had been amazing but there had been a tinge of sadness for Nina. She enjoyed riding the elephants, experiencing the beaches, going diving, everything. It was truly the vacation she had been waiting to have, after Covid and then switching jobs had pushed everything back. Despite her best efforts, Nina missed Sidney. She missed that dumbass hockey player, he had wormed into her heart that easily. She missed him and was still supremely angry at him. Nina felt like the biggest dumbass on earth. As she waited for him to show up at her place, she wanted to bang her head into the wall. I fucked up by dating him, Nina said to herself.

Her doorbell rung and Nina opened the door. It was Sidney, hands in his pockets, no gifts this time. He ached to bring her into his arms but Sidney wouldn’t touch Nina unless she gave him permission.

There was a stony silence after Sidney closed the door, neither willing to say the first word. Nina tried to summon some of the anger she had but all that was left was pain and sadness. Before she even realized, a couple tears had slipped. Sidney saw them and his composure completely crumbled. He did the one thing he swore he would never do; he made his pretty girl cry.

Nina hiccupped as Sidney pulled her into his arms. He just held her as she cried. “Fuck you, Sidney Crosby. I felt like you were icing me out before dumping me. Fuck you, you fucking jagoff.”

“I-I should have said something but I was so pissed and I didn’t want to lash out at you. Then it just snowballed,” Sidney said, heartbreaking as Nina sniffled.

“You’re such a fucking dumbass. I don’t even know why I’m even considering taking you back.”

Sidney said, “I just didn’t want to burden you with everything I go through at the end of the season, especially when it’s disappointing.”

“Fuck that, Sidney.” Nina glared up at him, the big dummy. “Communication, it means that if you say you’re in a relationship, you communicate. You should have even sent a text, ‘I’m pissed as fuck, going golfing with the boys, be back soon’ or even just periodically texted those stupid hi and good morning beautiful texts. How would you feel if I didn’t call or text you and went away?”

Sidney paused as he considered Nina’s point. He was unhappy he didn’t know that Nina had gone away without telling him but he couldn’t say anything now. “Your face says it all, Crosby,” Nina snarked.

“I’m sorry, Nina,” Sidney said, deep from his heart.

Nina sighed, she could tell he was truly sorry. “Those donations… they were a total surprise. They all needed the money and are dear to me. But the Pittsburgh Prom Dress giveaway, we always need more funds since it doesn’t get as many donations around the year. Your donation not only allowed us to provide more dresses this prom season, it also allowed us to expand our collection so that we could provide suits as well as dresses. Thank you, Sidney.”

“You’re welcome,” he sincerely replied.

Keeping her cheek on his chest, Nina said, “I’m dumb because I really am considering taking you back. But don’t ever do that again.”

Pulling away a bit, Nina looked deep into Sidney’s eyes. “I’m serious. I don’t think I’m clingy, I don’t require much, but don’t even do that again. I don’t need you to call me everyday but don’t ever ignore me like that again, Sidney.”

“I won’t, I swear,” Sidney promised, happy that his pretty girl was talking to him again.

#sidney crosby fics #sidney crosby fanfiction #Sidney Crosby #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey rpf #hockey fic #nhl fanfiction #nhl rpf #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #penguins fic #penguins imagine #hockey fiction #hockey fics #nhl fiction #nhl fics #angst #sidney crosby imagines #Sidney Crosby imagine #sidney crosby fic #sadness #i promise a happy ending #all bets are off

[sovpologist]

hi, genuine question! I want to like Mara, but d2 lore shows her, in my eyes, as selfish and cruel, set on her own goal with no consideration for others. At least that's what I got from marasenna lorebook.

Why is she liked by so many in community? I feel like I'm overlooking something over things I mentioned above, but I would appreciate a perspective from someone who likes her character! If it's okay to ask!

its totally okay to ask!! this is going to be a long post so im going to put it under a readmore :)

i just want to stress first that mara is like.... widely disliked by many in the community. it used to be very unpopular to like her and if you even said anything remotely positive about her, people would reply to your posts and send you anons about how you were a terrible person for liking such a manipulative and toxic character. it was only recently that community opinion kind of started to shift, and people started to actually appreciate her character as nuanced and interesting. i definitely dont think this is because of me or anything crazy like that, but ive tried to correct misconceptions about her and cultivate a space on my blog at least where people can just openly like mara and not feel like they have to qualify it by constantly assuring people that they know mara's done bad things too (because literally every character in d2 has done bad things, and somehow people understand that liking the uldren doesnt mean you support him killing cayde but cant apply that same concept to mara for some reason). ok, im getting off my soapbox now and im going to just talk about why i like her.

mara is genuinely just such a fascinating character to me. reading the marasenna im really struck by how alone she is, even as a 19 year old human. her mom has essentially abandoned her and says that she's mara's friend but not her mother, and mara's father is never mentioned, so mara literally has no parental guidance or supervision or love. this puts a lot more of her pre-awoken actions into context, such as her not knowing how to interact with people and preferring to keep herself away from the rest of the crew. everyone mara loves leaves her. her mom stays in the distributary, uldren is distant in his efforts to impress and surprise her and then dies, and sjur dies too.

i also love mara's character arc, although it kind of makes me sad. mara is so painfully human in the earlier parts of the marasenna. she's awkward, she's lonely, she thinks her and uldren's secret language is "cool," she gets embarassed at her mom's embarrassing petnames, she hero-worships alis li and listens to her advice. watching her lose all of this and crystalize into a queen is so interesting. remember, mara didn't go out into the fight between the darkness and the traveler bc she knew she would gain power and create the awoken, its stated that she went out there to die. so a 19 year old just trying to die peacefully ends up witnessing firsthand the power of the dark and light and being tasked with essentially creating a new species, knowing that one day she wants to go back and fight the darkness. she becomes such a politician and has to scheme and plot and really loses her humanity while following ALIS' advice- alis was the one who told her that people need a mascot, not a friend. this also makes for a really interesting scene where alis grants mara one favor, and instead of asking for political power, even though mara is such an intensely political and scheming person, she tells alis the truth about the awoken and asks for forgiveness. alis, who mara looked up to, doesnt forgive her, and mara really internalizes this and starts to permantantly close herself off. mara made herself into a queen and lost her humanity in the process. there's a couple people who see the real her, like sjur, but even sjur doesnt really understand her. but her relationship with sjur is also so well written and interesting, sjur being the one person she lets herself drop her mask around and just act human. i made a post about this once, but even mara's speech patterns change around sjur, becoming much more casual and "normal." however, at the same time, mara's mask/persona is a part of her character, and one that i love. people hate her for being "mean," but i like characters like that. mara doesnt take any shit, even from the protagonist, and has her own plans and goals that she doesn't feel obligated to share or change for other people. she's ambitious, sticks to her guns, and doesn't allow other people to influence her.

you say she's selfish, and i think it is easy to brush her off as selfish and doing everything for her own gain, but there's a lot of subtext and outright text in the marasenna and other lore that shows mara genuinely believes that the only way to fight the darkness is to become a being on the same level as the darkness and the traveler. she doesn't let the awoken become immortal gods, which some people regard as a bad thing, but she did that for a reason. mara understands that a people who are eternal and ageless will never grow as people, and she knew that the darkness wanted them to just be complacently sitting aside in their little realm while it does whatever it wants. mara wasn't going to let that happen, and knew she had to find a way to encourage people to leave paradise. you can dislike the way she went about this, essentially encouraging conflict and war among her people, but she did not just do it for her own gain or amusement. mara has also been hated on for starting the reef war/firing a missile at the house of wolves, people act like she did that just for fun too, but the eliksni fleet was heading to conquer earth. instead of just hiding and building up her own resources, which wouldve been the logical thing to do in this situation, mara put her own fleet and power on the line to draw the eliksni's attention away and help earth. she doesn't do things solely bc they benefit her, but because she genuinely loves and wants to help earth. her uncaring persona is a mask, the thing that she feels she needs to be for people to have faith in her.

i have more to say but this is already so long and ive said a lot, so i'll end it here :) at the end of the day, some people are just not going to like mara and thats totally fine. she's not everyone's type, bc she IS ambitious and manipulative and sometimes cruel. i just wish she didnt get a disproportionate amount of hate for being like that when i know for a fact that if she was a male character she would not get this much hate, and i wish that people could just dislike her normally without lying about her or misinterpreting her character and motivations. but if you dont like her, you dont like her! sometimes we just dislike characters, sometimes for well thought out reasons snad sometimes just for no reason! thats completely fine, as long as you're respectful!!

#long post #ask #i did not read this over again before i hit post so if anything is grammatically weird just ignore it #and if its hard to understand just send another message and ill try to explain #tldr; misunderstood gay asshole with a heart of gold? SIGN ME UP

[sakkac]

re: fumetsu no anata e as of chapter 139.2

this started as a response to @bestbonnist​‘s post on chapter 139.2 but now i’m just dissecting differences and similarities between tonari, mizuha, and kahak like im writing an essay for a uni class. i interchangeably use he/they pronouns for fushi and my writing may be clumsy (bc im not actually writing for uni ❤️).

mizuha is a broken mirror to tonari (and kahak a foil to the two aforementioned) in this modern-day arc, especially in their expressions of love for fushi. tonari’s love for fushi is aged over hundreds of years and mizuha’s, at first glance, is an infatuation just based on how long they’ve known each other. im the biggest kahak stan ever, but even i understand kahak’s love started as an infatuation for parona’s form. though, i’d consider the word infatuation compromised when it comes to defining mizuha’s love, bc u cant be sure if her love for fushi is entirely her own, seeing as it had been passed from generation to generation of guardians.

(chapter 134, read right to left)

tonari and mizuha aren’t that different once you look deeply into the both of them. mizuha’s personality and actions are factors in tonari’s dislike of her, but what ultimately repels tonari from mizuha is that she knows they’re similar, and that manifests most clearly in how she reacts to fushi being with mizuha. i.e. resenting fushi for using her friends’ vessels to help their “love life” in chapter 135.5. she can’t stand mizuha bc mizuha is able to express her love for fushi and fushi does not reject (or accept) it; tonari still hasn’t fully admitted to herself that she likes fushi romantically (perhaps because she can’t separate it from the devotion that led her to harden her body to poisons and to promise her corpse to rest at fushi’s feet), so seeing mizuha appear to progress further than she has irritates her. as for kahak, tonari only has the biases of the other pseudo-immortals and her own of past hayase reincarnations to rely on. (this is not as plot-related, but these two also both like books. kahak read tonari’s fushi book, so i wish they actually met, but in a world where tonari didnt hate hayase beyond death.)

tonari as a child seemed like she thought herself superior to others, perhaps a natural result of her upbringing. she was raised on a prison island, but she herself never committed any crime; banding together w other kids like her, writing about her life in her book (which keeps her separate from or above others in a way). but this thinking ceases at her relationship w fushi. however, i believe this started before they even met. tonari’s childhood dream at seven years old was to write a book her father would be impressed by. she also used to believe in god, while her family was still whole. she even prayed to god when he decided to participate in the tournament in chapter 35. however, she stops referring to god by the time her father had shown tarnish. coincidentally, she meets fushi, who would “upend everything... jeannanda and [her] fate.” she ends up, instead of writing for her father, writing a book to allow a peaceful existence for fushi for whenever they decided to come back. this act shows that the adult tonari has written fushi to a level above her, out of her reach. 

(chapter 35)

here i’ll quote ray’s words about kahak and tonari: “she also has a surprising amount in common with Kahaku, too, with the ‘I want to protect you even if you disagree.’” the way tonari had waited and honed her body for fushi resembles kahak’s attachment; she had finished living for herself, so now she was only allowing herself to live to further create an ideal vessel for fushi (which also brings up one of hayase’s goals). the difference is that kahak lived for fushi because, as raikkousaki said, fushi was the only thing he was “ALLOWED to live for.” however, while tonari is unquestionably devoted to fushi now, what pulled her to him was black hood’s coercion. as a result of black hood’s words to her, she manipulated fushi into helping her solve her problems, to save her from the island. this first “meeting” also revealed that she was attracted to their white hair; she later admits that she admires their fair skin, contributing to the idea that she could view fushi as the equivalent of a god or at the least, a vision of purity (which is :/ imo, bc of her dark skin). we should also keep in mind that, this, technically her first impression of fushi, and his later display of violent immortality in the arena would further his image as a “legend.” 

mizuha was exposed to fushi’s immortality and reveres him like tonari and kahak respectively do and did. instead of the specific word “legend,” it’s “immortal monster.” her first formal exposure to fushi’s fabled power was not unlike tonari’s, since mizuha had went into her grandfather’s library and read on fushi in chapter 124.1. after this, she manipulates fushi to save her, again paralleling the beginning of tonari’s relationship with fushi, but it’s from her overbearing mother and herself. both tonari and mizuha forced their problems onto fushi, but mizuha doesn’t have black hood stepping in front of her saying “you must lead him.” instead, she may have been influenced by the left hand, but i believe mizuha’s thoughts are majorly her own (left hand lies in wait within mizuha’s consciousness like a predator), and what they appear to say is that she’s leading fushi until he decides to follow her willingly. as for kahak, we only have a few pages on his childhood and what we can make of it and of his actions as an adult is that he was willing to follow fushi wherever they went, until left hand betrayed them both.

mizuha’s superiority complex comes from a different place than young tonari’s; she was a prestigious child from young, in addition to her fear of her uniqueness fading as she aged. this caused her to feel separate from other children. when she meets fushi, she sees how different he is from everyone else and uses subtle ways to keep him with her, while never directly admitting she wants him to stay with her, except for ch 125′s “i’m scared. stay with me tonight,” after her mother’s sudden murder. she usually uses excuses instead, like cutely demanding fushi to walk with her after school and go on dates with her.

(chapter 36 vs. chapter 128.2)

as fushi was introduced to the people around tonari and mizuha, they received similar reactions, i.e. “your hair is so pretty!” and “woah, his hair is white!” in the pages following these, the similarities continue into tonari and mizuha gaining ownership over fushi: in ch 36 oopa declares “tonari found him. so he belongs to tonari,” while the islanders try to get on fushi’s good side, and in ch 128 fushi goes out of their way to ask which club mizuha belongs to when asked to join a club (vocalizing her claim on them so she doesn’t have to directly do so).

(chapters 38, 106, and 139)

when the opening comes for mizuha to actually admit her feelings in chapter 139, she tries, but demands instead, “so... love me.” this recalls kahak’s confession to kai in 105.3, that he wants to “protect fushi’s humanity.” kahak and mizuha were both covered in blood when they spoke, but the atmospheres and characters are different; mizuha is clever w her words, but still too immature to let go of her pride, whereas kahak was the exact opposite. he rid of himself of his pride for fushi when he was a child, but said a lot of the wrong things to fushi when it came down to it. additionally, mizuha, when she wants something, she’ll phrase her words so that it seems like there’s only one choice: to follow her. this has been the case for others including fushi (chapters 120.2′s testing of hanna with “if i died, would you cry for me?” and 132.1′s “i’ll teach you about love” and the following guilt-trip). tonari is more direct with her words and meaning than either mizuha or kahak, bc of her personality. she directly confronts fushi when she realizes he had felt betrayed by her in chapter 38, because she still needed him for his plans. but mizuha is more direct with her actions; in chapter 129.1, she latches herself onto fushi, while trying to get information out of him. after the failed marriage proposal, rather than physically attaching himself to fushi like mizuha, kahak used acts of domesticity and protection to subtly appeal to and maintain his space next to them.

(chapter 38 vs chapter 139)

tonari’s “there are people in this world who are better off dead” above isn’t far from the knockers’ reasoning behind “wishing for death is paramount to being dead” and the reason for mizuha’s mother’s death: left hand decided to “eliminate the cause of [mizuha’s breaking point’s] stress.” what this shows is that tonari can also justify murder, though granted, this is from a hundred chapters ago. however, this black and white thinking comes back in the modern era where tonari holds prejudice against mizuha because of her relation to hayase. tonari knows her dislike of mizuha is unfair, she can’t get around it. tonari is still as prideful as she was when she lived on jeannanda; it’s just that she is able to use fushi to justify her opinions now. i also want to bring up mizuha’s reaction to her mother’s death and funa’s knocker’s “purging and guidance.” mizuha seems comfortable with the sight of death, despite having a more normal childhood than tonari, because her actual main concern overwhelms it; she is always thinking on how she can appeal to fushi (almost like kahak), or in other words, how to salvage her pride. so instead of being concerned over being the actual murderer, she is concerned with appearing as a murderer to fushi.

so to actually answer ray’s question, objectively, tonari’s love is as excessive as kahak and mizuha’s. but personally, i think tonari’s love for fushi right now is also unhealthy, though it comes out of good will. kahak’s love also ended in fushi’s benefit, but it was undoubtedly unhealthy. and ofc, mizuha’s love is also unhealthy; she reaches for fushi for perfection, tonari reaches for fushi for humility.

#fumetsu no anata e #kahak #fnae spoilers #🔖 #long

[slashingdisneypasta]

Slashers / Horror Villains as: Animated (Children’s) Movie Villain Songs

+ A Nightmare Before Christmas 

First of all, its mostly Disney. Second of all, I hope you know that this was a struggle for me. 

Also, note, Bubba will be the only Leatherface in this post and Billy and Stu will be the only Ghostfaces. There is Norma Bates though, so sort of a consolation. 

There are links to videos on YouTube ^^

~~~

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher / Ghostface: Playing With the Big Boy’s Now (Hotep and Huy, Prince of Egypt) 

Well... they’re part of the ‘big boys’, now! They are part of the Slashers group that, uh, ‘inspired them’. Imagine instead of Egyptian Gods, they’re chanting Slasher names. 

[HUY] Pick up your silly twig, boy [HOTEP & HUY] You're playing with the big boys now! Ha ha ha ha!

[EGYPTIAN PRIESTS] By the power of Ra Mut, Nut, Khnum, Ptah Sobek, Sekhmet, Sokar, Selket Anubis, Anukis Hemsut, Tefnut, Meshkent, Mafdet... 

Chop Top and Nubbins + Bubba Sawyer / Leatherface: Kidnap Mr Sandy Claws (Lock, Shock and Barrel, Nightmare Before Christmas) 

I mean... they aren't Drayton’s minions, but they are like this XD 

I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door And then knock three times And when he answers Sandy Claws will be no more

Yes you're so stupid, think now If we blow him up to smithereens We may lose some pieces And then Jack will beat us black and green

Kidnap the Sandy Claws Tie him in a bag

Chucky / Charles Lee Ray: In The Dark Of The Night (Rasputin, Anastasia)

Mystical man? Check! ‘Betrayal’ (As far as he sees it)? Check. Made them pay? Check; I think Nica, Sarah and all the other families he destroys throughout the franchise can attest to that. And ‘One little girl got away’? Well Andy isn’t a girl, but yeah. Check. 

I was once the most mystical man in all Russia When the royals betrayed me they mad a mistake My curse made each of them pay But one little girl got away Little Anya, beware Rasputin's awake

Drayton Sawyer: Don’t Fall In Love (Forte, Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas) 

Its such a crochety, unessessarily rude way of describing relationships to someone! I mean, I understand completely and resonate deeply with the desire to be alone and not be responsible for anyone else, but- come on! Beast doesn't share your view! Let it go! 

Its just like Drayton’s reaction to Bubba having a crush. Super cool video too! 

As soon as your heart rules your head Your life is not your own It's hell when someone's always there It's bliss to be alone

And love of any kind is bad A dog, a child, a cat They take up so much precious time Now, where's the sense in that?

Freddy Krueger: No More Mr Nice Guy (Rothbart, Swan Princess) 

A man with an uncomfortable relationship with the main female character pretending to be normal and not homicidal for a while before unlocking more power and letting there inner bad guy loose and taking great pleasure in it? Sounds familiar. They also have a similar vocabulary- except of course Rothbart is rated G. 

I'll become that nasty, naughty, dirty, spiteful Wicked, wayward, way-delightful Bad guy I was born to be

Lyin' loathesome, never-tender Indiscreet repeat offender No more Mr Nice Guy That's not me 

Inkubus: The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind (Professor Rattigan, The Greatest Mouse Detective)

‘Inkubus’ is literally a movie about him listing all his crimes over the centuries and messing with the police force because he has a bone to pick with a detective. Sounds pretty similar to me! Listen to the song! ^^

Now comes the real tour de force Tricky and wicked, of course! My earlier crimes were fine for their times But now that I'm at it again An even grimmer plot has been simmering In my great criminal brain! 

Jason Voorhees: Despicable Me (About Gru, Despicable Me) 

I... this is all I could think of!! But the more I listen to it and read the lyrics... it f i t s Jason so well! XD Please just let this slide; I know Gru isn't really a villain but he is at the start!! Let me have this. 

Why ask why? Better yet "Why not?" Why are you marking x on that spot? Why use a blow torch isn't that hot? Why use a chainsaw? Is that all you got? Why do you like seeing people in shock? But my question to you is "Why not?" Why go to the bank and stand in line Just use a freeze gun it saves me time. I'm havin' a bad, bad day It's about time that I get my way Steam rollin' whatever I see, Huh, despicable me I'm havin' a bad, bad day If you take it personal that's okay Watch, this is so fun to see Huh, despicable me

Jennifer Check: Trust In Me (Kaa, The Jungle Book) 

She’s a succubus demon. Tempting boys into a safe-feeling, docile state so she she can strike is her thing. 

Will cease to resist Just relax Be at rest Like a bird In a nest

Trust in me Just in me Shut your eyes And trust in me

Mayor Buckman and Granny Boone: Savages (Governor Ratcliffe and the Colonizer’s parts, Pocahontas) 

Obviously, because of the (Inaccurate) historical relevance of both movies (Different time’s, same terrible prejudice,) and also because there is definitely a very cult-ish feel about both Governor Ratcliffe’s song and Buckman’s leadership. How easily they’re able to gather support from their people for the most horrible reasons. How horrifying it is to audiences and historians. 

They're only good when dead They're vermin, as I said And worse

They're savages! Savages!

Barely even human

Savages! Savages!

Drive them from our shore! They're not like you and me Which means they must be evil We must sound the drums of war!

Michael Myers: The Gospel Truth II (Muses about Hades, Hercules)

In a Disney movie, Michael would have others sing his song about him as he goes about his silent, determined walking XD 

If there's one God you don't want to get steamed up It's Hades 'Cause he had an evil plan He ran the underworld But thought the dead were dull and uncouth He was as mean as he was ruthless And that's the gospel truth He had a plan to shake things up And that's the gospel truth

Midnight Man: Oogie Boogie’s Song (Oogie Boogie, Nightmare Before Christmas)

A song about a “Gamblin’ Boogie Man” is perfect for the Midnight Man! He and Oogie could be pals. 

Woah! The sound of rollin' dice To me is music in the air 'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man Although I don't play fair It's much more fun, I must confess When lives are on the line Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy Now that'd be just fine

Norma Bates: Mother Knows Best Reprise (Mother Gothel, Tangled)

Norma is soooooo so so so unbelievably manipulative towards Norman (And Dylan. It just works better on Norman) and this song absolutely presents that. She can go from sweet, loving mother to spiteful, heinous bitch in two seconds if Norman or Dylan don't do what or react the way she wants them to. 

Likes you? Please, Rapunzel, that's demented

This is why you never should have left! Dear, this whole romance that you've invented, Just proves you're too naive to be here Why would he like you? Come on now, really! Look at you, you think that he's impressed? Don't be a dummy Come with mummy

Pamela Voorhees: My Lullaby (Zira, The Lion King 2)

In a opposite approach to a villainous mother to Norma, we have Pam, who was heartbroken by the camp councillors letting her son die and vowed to get revenge. She didn't know she was teaching Jason to be the Crystal Lake killer like Zira did, but she did, and the whole song does have her kind of feel to it also. 

Sleep, my little Kovu Let your dreams take wing One day when you're big and strong You will be a kingI've been exiled, persecuted Left alone with no defense When I think of what that brute did I get a little tense But I dream a dream so pretty That I don't feel so depressed 'Cause it soothes my inner kitty And it helps me get some rest

Patrick Bateman: Cruella De Vil (Arthur, 101 Dalmations) 

Never before was there a song that described audiences reaction to watching Patrick living in his daily life and hearing his thoughts better then this one. 

Cruella De Vil Cruella De Vil If she doesn't scare you No evil thing will To see her is to Take a sudden chill Cruella, Cruella De Vil

The curl of her lips The ice in her stare All innocent children Had better beware She's like a spider waiting For the kill Look out for Cruella De Vil

Pennywise (Both): You’re Only Second Rate (Jafar, Return of Jafar)

Mostly for the video and Jafar’s energy in this scene actually XD So many transformations, so many tasteless puns! I was going to give this to Freddy but its the closest thing to Penny I could think of. 

Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise Snap me in a trap, cut me down to size I'll make a great escape It's just a piece of cake You're only second rate You know your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up Let me pontificate upon your sorry state You're only second rate

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt: Hellfire (Judge Claude Frollo, Hunchback of Notre Dame) 

A nasty filthy man who think’s he’s in the right despite being the biggest creep and monster ever? Mhm. 

*Note: I honestly didn't notice the deformed baby, Quasimodo/Thomas link until the day after I wrote this. Don't know how I feel about it. I mean, Hoyt is actually nice, in his way, to Thomas so the connection isn't totally there but onwards:

Beata Maria You know I am a righteous man Of my virtue I am justly proud

Beata Maria You know I'm so much purer than The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd 

End of Post! 🌼

(Bonus’ under the cut) 

I did think of other connections which I obviously didnt landed on but still have merit! Here! 

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher: ‘Gaston’ was considered, but that would have just been a joke XD I don’t think Stu is quite as obsessed with Billy as LeFou is with Gaston. 

Chucky: Friends on the Other Side. Obviously! That link was actually what inspired me to make this post. In The Dark of Night fits to a T though. 

Freddy Krueger: You’re Only Second Rate! Ah, its perfectttt. But No More Mr Nice Guy fits better. If I ever do a Slashers as Disney Villains post, he’ll be Jafar for sure. Or Hades. Or Scar. Or Oogie. Probably Hades. You know what? Without the gore and blood and explicit sexual references, Freddy could be a Disney Villain himself. Its not like Disney hasn't towed the line before with perverted villains. >_> (Jafar and Frollo) 

Jason and Pamela Voorhees: Mother Knows Best! Of course. 

Jennifer Check: Love is For Peasants (Barbie Island Princess) Because Jennifer thinks like this: 

Men? <<< Literally anything else. 

Patrick Bateman: How Can I Refuse? (From Barbie Princess and the Pauper) XD If Patrick were a kids movie villain, he would totally join the ranks of corrupted usurpers pretending to be trustworthy royal advisory staff. Also ‘Let It Die’, that little interruption part of another song that O’Hare sings in the Lorax and ‘How Bad Can I be?’. 

#Sheriff Hoyt #Charlie Hewitt #Pennywise #Patrick Bateman #Pamela Voorhees #Norma Bates #Midnight Man #Michael Myers #Mayor Buckman #Granny Boone #Jennifer Check #Jason Voorhees #Inkubus #Freddy Krueger #Drayton Sawyer #Chucky #Charles Lee Ray #Chop Top Sawyer #Bubba Sawyer #Nubbins Sawyer #Disney Villain Songs #Disney Villains #Disney Songs #Horror Villains #Slashers #Slashers / Horror Villains as: Animated (Children’s) Movie Villain Songs

[solarsleepless]

Please tell me everything you know about c!niki xD

THIS IS GONNA BE HELLA LONG SO HERE YOU GO

so niki first joined l'manberg - contrary to popular belief - AFTER the revolution, along w jack manifold. she joined bc she was good friends with wilbur and tommy. she opened up a bakery after consulting her diary/chat, and it ended up being pretty successful. not too succesful, but successful. during the elections, she decided to support her friend (childhood friend? the timeline is fucked up bc of c!fundy existing lbr) and together she and fundy made COCONUT2020. she didn't think she'd win, only really did it for fun, and supported wilbur even though she didn't join his party then her best friend and friend got exiled, and so she was understandably distraught and angry schlatt's reign was one of her low points. not her lowest, but pretty damn low if i do say so myself. she was tormented during this time by schlatt himself, and he made fun of her for her relationship with wilbur, called her things like a "wrench", he taxed her (to the point where she had to run away!), and he imprisoned her. it doesn't help that her childhood(?) friend betrayed her burnt down the flag that she had made for l'manberg (its so sad actually, listen to it) she had a birthday party that while i didnt watch ive heard that wilbur threatened to blow up l'manberg so yeah then she saw her younger brother-like figure get executed onstage, then almost got executed herself, when wilbur managed to get her away then it is DEVASTATING as she finally finds out abt how things have been going in pogtopia (especially for the viewers who only watched niki's pov). she had thought that they had a plan, that they were working things out, when really they haven't even got a semblance of a plan the pit fight happens, and then after she goes up to listen to one of tommy's discs with tubbo and tommy themselves during the manberg v pogtopia war, she fights for pogtopia and watches schlatt die and the nation become wilbur's again. then, of course, comes the part that all old school c!niki fans will remember... during the celebration they had just after tubbo gained presidency, she accidentally uncovered a small part of the wall and saw tnt. she went still, then covered it up, on the assumption that wilbur wouldn't blow it up BOY was she wrong her home gets destroyed (watch this and skip forwards until niki's pov), and she doesnt find out that wilbur dies until much, much later. to honour him, she starts wearing his coat. everything goes fine for a little while, and she yknow dates puffy (*SOBS* im unbiased im unbiased.... *sob*), and then doesnt find out abt tommy's exile until much later AFTER that. she doesnt really get in on the lore much during the inbetween period of tommy's exile and doomsday except for her city being built more. then, during doomsday, she gets angry at tommy and says that he couldn't just walk in there and assume everyone would be on his side, she also shouts at ranboo abt sides and stuff. later, she apologizes to ranboo and says that if ranboo fights for l'manberg, she will too. ranboo ends up doing nothing except watching everything unfold, and so niki does the same, except for one thing. she burns down the l'mantree, also known as her canonical lowest point. after that, she hears ghostbur speaking and has a panic attack, trying to reassure herself that "he's gone, he's gone, he's gone" and because shes too flooded w memories, she ends up blowing up her bakery. afterwards, however, she goes down into her secret city and isolates herself from everybody except for jack, who she plots to kill tommy with. she takes tommy to a nuclear test site and almost manages to kill him, but JUST misses him, somehow after this attempt, she scurries back to her little hole like a cryptid and (this is, in my opinion, her lowest point) isolates herself even MORE. she has contact with exactly 1 person during this whole period of four-five canonical(??) months, and it results in her mental health getting worse. technoblade visits her at the start of this, offering her a position as an anarchist to which she gives him a "maybe, after

i kill tommy" she gets night terrors, and keeps herself in a literal CELL so that she doesnt go anywhere when she sleepwalks, also punches the walls whenever she wakes up from a nightmare, which is often. eventually tho, she accepts techno's offer and joins the syndicate, naming herself as nemesis as a reference to her past self she manages to heal a substantial amount, finally having: a) a group that lets her speak (which is SO important for her, its actually the key to her entire arc) and b) socialization! however this takes a big turn, when she hears that wilbur's back she tries to play it off, then goes the l'manhole or l'crater, reminisces about wilbur betraying her (may i note the rocketduo where she looks pointedly at manifoldland and says "and GOD you deserved so much better dgsayufasyufgasuy) she grabs wilbur's diamonds, some of the first ever items she got in the SMP, then hides them in the wall, as a sign of her closing off from wilbur

PHHOOOOOOEEY THAT WAS A LONG ONE

okay so imma go with this writing cause its fun. so, you asked a few questions in response to the ask you gave me!! so lets go 1) why does she feel betrayed by wilbur? because she was one of the first people she met (canonically) on the SMP. he promised her that it would be a land of peace, prosperity, but she started loving it BECAUSE of wilbur. case and point: when wilbur asks whether she's loyal to l'manberg, she goes "yes, i'm loyal to you, wil." "no, no, not to me- to l'manberg" she quite literally wore his coat around the SMP as a symbol of her friendship and dedication towards him, because they were honestly the best of friends, and she THOUGHT she knew it. points out) and its the way she's learnt to do things. also remember: c!Niki is an unreliable narrator, that's the whole point of her character. it's a response to trauma (as @tubboblr pointed out) you're also probably wondering why she burnt down the l'mantree. and it's not because she "finally realized that l'manberg was bad" it was actually really simple: she wanted to be heard. she had been beaten down and talked over SO much (aka the BASIS for her arc) that she's so desperate to be heard she'll take desperate measures. another reason is because she finally loses hope in l'manberg. she loved it, loves it, but she just lost hope in it. she never hated it. she LOVED it, with all her heart. she just didnt believe it had any hope to be the place she had thought it was. if you have any other questions, let me know!!

#c!niki analysis #kinda #c!niki #niki nihachu #nihachu #sukisimpsstuff #ask

[creacherkeeper]

hey,,, same anon from before,, i’m so happy to hear that you LOVE pacific rim and this fh pacific rim au bc i’ve been re reading ur posts over and over!! can i ask for some more headcanons?? specifically about the final fight against goldenhoard (level 4) and then the nightmare (level 5)?? again of course feel free to ignore, just curious :DD

anon u indulge me 2 much

a lot of kaiju come before. a lot. more than they care to count

fabian and riz take out spells on their first drop. spells is fast, very fast, but its only a category 2. one particularly well placed blast through the skull takes it out. they destroy a good stretch of interstate before they manage to do it, but it goes down. and they feel pretty good about that

harvestman leaves footprints dripping with venom. getting too close to them is enough to leave toxins in your blood. gorgug would say later that looking into its eyes was like staring into hell itself. zelda thought it was fitting, for the end of the world. no one knows how the two of them manage to concentrate with metal screaming through the cockpit speakers. but sailing a thousand feet through the air to chop the things head off, no one dares question it

pixie is trickier. pixie almost gets them. its only a cat-3, but there's something almost psychedelic about the blast effect it has. ayda spent months studying it. something about it interfering with brain waves - fig doesnt really remember because she didnt understand even then. she just remembers seeing the gilded spyglass turn heel and run straight through a skyscraper and not knowing if they were going to win that fight. sometimes she thinks about it and starts seeing double

barlgura isn't that special. its just another kaiju. but its strong. its big. and when it smashes through the embassy that gilear is stationed at, they know this is a fight they're going to remember for a very long time. he almost doesnt make it. but kristen is magic, or so people say. she was the only one fig trusted to look after him. and he was okay. eventually. he had a little more trouble focusing, now. he got headaches. unsteady on his feet. head trauma will do that, kristen says. but he's okay. he's alive. because kristen is magic

flayer is a rough fight. its a beast in the water. doesn't stay dead, even when it should. riz crawls their jaeger home. they both have new scars. some mental ones too. theres nothing she can do to save the eye. no fights for a while. the fact that fabian doesnt argue over getting benched is what worries them all the most

the double events are always the worst. the kaiju known to them only as mother and father almost take adaine and aelwyn out, which later they will joke is extremely fitting, sneaking into each others hospital beds while kristen sleeps in the chair next to them. drowning is not a good way to go, they both agree. how they managed to operate the storm oracle with a nearly demolished pons system and fried neural link is anyones guess. they don't really let the other out of their sight for a while after that

the first kaiju kristen takes down is sol. category 4. punching the electricity-based kaiju in the face wasn't really anyones idea of a good plan, but hey, it was kristen. and the fact that afterwards, she could turn on electric appliances with a touch of her pinky was pretty cool. no one really talks about the haunted look tracker gets on her face when anyone mentions it

the breach is the first triple event. kalina is just the teaser. fast enough that they'd swear there was three of it. the frequency of their radios ends up being its downfall - ears like a freaking cat. they echo its own screech back at it and rip it apart before it has a chance to move again. they shouldve known that wouldnt be the last of them

kalvaxus is the dragon to their armored knights. scales like steel, wings that slice through air and water alike. its breath boils the ocean. fabian and riz shouldn't even be fighting, everyone knows, but they are, because this is it. the last chance to save the world. every pilot still in commission making one last effort to end this thing once and for all

only a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart gets kristen back up. she fights like shes seen god and the devil all at the same time

its aelwyn that figures out the timing of it. the few seconds before its fire breath where it just seems to freeze. where the heat from its own stomach gets a little too much for the brain in its thick skullcase. its the only reason they win. gilded spyglass puts a sword between its eyes as boiling water bubbles around them

nightmare is something they havent seen before. category 5. it doesnt seem to ... be there ... all the time. the transparent skin doesnt help. pumping organs and a bioluminescent skeleton sometimes seem to disappear in the storm that rages around its head. the lightning that strikes down at all of them seems to hurt it just as much, but it keeps fighting. it barely seems to see them, really. its just angry. and theyre just tired

adaine goes down. riz goes down. aelwyn and fabian do what they can to keep their jaegers up, but its a losing battle. wizard's paramour takes just too many shots. the jaeger is lost. maybe that's okay. everyone agrees, after, that gorgug and zelda getting them out of there was the right move. metal frenzy disengages to tend to wounds instead. it got some good hits in, but gorgug knows his friends will die if they aren't looked after

one pod of the moonlit werewolf is sent up through the ocean

alone, kristen wraps her arms around nightmare and falls through the breach

they wait. it seems like a long time goes by. it may be that the heat of battle has faded to aching bodies and bone-shaking weariness. they're all barely conscious when the second pod, leaking red, breaks the surface

ayda keeps her stable long enough to get to base. the horn of nightmare would've pierced her heart had it been off by just an inch. but it didnt. and kristen lives

she's magic, after all

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #the bad kids #pacific rim au #yall really forcing me to get attached to this au huh :((((((( #should i watch pacific rim tomorrow #i think im going to watch pacific rim tomorrow #doing the kaiju were surprisingly fun thank you #*hulk voice* big monster

[words-for-holland]

Christmas Admirers Teaser |T.H.

Pairing: Fratboy!Tom x Reader

Summary:  Tom Holland and Y/N have never crossed each other’s paths in the 3 years of their college career. but can a silly letter change all that? 

Loosely Inspired by Dash & Lily and every other cheesy Hallmark Christmas Rom-Com Movie out there. 

A/N: This wont be a series but this story is going to be really long when it’s done but tbh not sure if Im really like how its coming...Ha...ha.. But I’ll still do a taglist for this when it’s completed so feel free to add yourself if you’d like.

Taglist

Wanna Play a Game?

All it took was one bright red letter and four words to intrigue the most beloved, foreign exchange student of New York University, Tom Holland. If his name sounds familiar to you, then you already know the answer to the question that just popped in your head. Yes, not only was Tom Holland a well renowned actor, he was also a student exploring the wonders of college along with his best friend Harrison. Some say he was only attending to prepare for a role, others say he did it to have his fun with sorority girls, and a very small percentage believed he was actually trying to get his degree in theater. Whatever the reason, college life suited him well, being the head of the Beta Gamma Sigma Fraternity, living the bachelors life with a new girl around his arm every week, but it was all the same...until he found that red letter sticking out of an abandoned shelf in the Potter’s Library.

He remembered it clearly, the day he found it. Tom had reluctantly arrived at the Library assuming his mates would be there to actually study for an exam they had this upcoming week. Lord knows if they didn’t pass this final with at least a C this semester, they would surely relive the nightmares with Professor Gonpu in the next. Yet to no surprise, none of them came and ditched last minute as the pool of messages started to flood his phone.

“Great.” Tom muttered to himself as he took a seat at the far right corner of the library. The area was empty, and as he slouched on the wooden chair and pushed it back, the boy hadn’t realize how close to the empty shelf he was. With a single thud, came a small red letter floating above and gently making its way down to his lap. The inviting words peaked his interest, and while he checked both front and back for a name, the letter should have been addressed to...there was none. He unfolded it and read it to himself.

Do you want a play a game?

You seem like the type of person that has nothing better to do, so let’s make it a little more interesting. I wont tell you who I am, but if I deem you worthy...I just might.

Still with me?

I’ll give you five clues to figure out this location. Everything you need is here in the Library. And...if you even think about using that phone, you might as well put this letter back where you found it. After all.. you’re in a library and it’s got all the information you need. Ready?

Tom looked at it puzzled by the words. “Do people actually do this shit?”, he thought to himself. He continued to read on, examining each clue and the 5 lines next to them.

1. You’ll find your first clue, deals with a tragic romance. He had all the money in the world but never ends up with the one he loves.

“Too easy.” Tom smiled to himself as he quickly looked for The Great Gatsby. He referenced the red letter seeing only 3 spaces for the first clue. “Jay” he whispered to himself, as he triumphantly wrote out the words.

2. Know what else is more shitty than dying and not having the love your life? Writing a depressing poem about the love your life dying. Or as Poe would imagine, a beautiful maiden by the sea.

He smirked at the line, knowing fully well the poem that the mysterious letter was referencing, and quickly headed to the poetry section. Tom scanned the row of books, until the black book with white lettering caught his eye. Flipping through the broken pages, he found exactly what he was looking for. “In this kingdom by the sea, but we loved with a love that was more than love, I and my Annabel Lee.” he muttered the lines, a smile slowly creeping up. Tom writes out the word “Lee” in the 3 lettered blank. “Tragic Romance, how typical.” he says to himself. Though his voice was laced with disinterest, it was Tom’s favorite poem, but he’d never tell anyone that.

It continued on this rhythm of deciphering clues and running around the Library like a chicken without a head to figure out what the letter wanted from Tom. He had been so focused that his plan to study for Gonpu’s final and meeting with the fraternity has completely flown out the window. As of now, Tom’s main priority was to find the answers to the letter’s puzzling challenge. Maybe, if he answered it, he would know who the mysterious writer was.

Then it happened. The last clue was solved, as Tom quickly wrote out the final word, examining his work and trying to make sense of what he found. There were no other instructions left on the letter which only made Tom more puzzled. It wasn’t a name. It wasn’t a thing. It was a place on campus. Jay Lee’s Coffee Lounge, the most serene coffee spot you’ll ever find in NYU. It offered all the essentials needed to focus and complete your work all with a side of great cold brew made in house. People say it’s NYU’s best kept secret, but really it’s because students will rarely go since it’s so out of the way.

He made it to the shop after thirty minutes, and stepped into the calm atmosphere. The smell of gingerbread lattes hit him once he opened the doors, and soft chatter between students filled the air. He looked around the area in hopes to find the person who wrote the letter. Perhaps they were waiting for him, but it was unlikely since Tom wasn’t even sure if the letter was written that same day. For all he knew, he could be wasting his time, and yet....it didnt feel like it. Almost as if he felt he was meant to be here.

“Mate, what are you doing here?!” Tom followed the robust British voice as he whipped his head to the counter. His best friend Harrison, dressed in a Jay Lee’s short sleeved shirt.

“Harrison? You...work here?” He asked voice filled with confusion. Not once did Harrison tell Tom about his side job. In fact it was almost offensive to think the blonde hair bloke would even it hide it from him.

“Yeah...I didn’t really tell anyone because well you know, it’s the last place people would expect a frat to be working in. Reputations and all...What about you? I didn’t think this place was your type of thing.” he asked.

“It’s not...” he paused for a moment, debating on whether to tell Harrison what he found. If it led Tom here, Harrison might know who wrote the letter. He hoped it was girl...God he really hoped it was. “Actually, I was at the library today waiting for you divs --”

“Oh yeah sorry mate.” Harrison looked at Tom apologetically.

“No, its fine really. But I found something interesting, and --”

“Tom, if it’s another blonde wannabe model, I --”

“Bloody hell, Harrison just listen to me. I..” Tom paused for a moment to quickly check his surroundings before pulling up the red paper. “I found this red letter. Made me go on bloody goose chase and led me here. You dont happen to know anything about this do you?”

Harrison took the letter and examined it thoroughly reading the lines word for word and the notes Tom made next to them. He was just as intrigued, but unfortunately shook his head, unsure of the answer to Tom’s question as well. “Sorry, Mate. I have no clue. Never seen anyone here writing out a red letter before.”

Tom held the letter, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Was this it? Did he really just waste a whole 3 hours in the library and 30 minutes worth of gas for nothing? “I just dont understand.” he muttered.

“Look if you really think the person that wrote this letter wanted you to be here, why don’t you just write a message in it and post it on the corkboard? Im working the entire week, so I’ll keep an eye on who grabs it and let you know.“

It didnt seem like a half bad plan, Tom nodded in agreement and grabbed a pen from his bag, writing his reply in the empty space, the mysterious writer was so kind enough to leave. He posted it on the corkboard, and turned back to his friend.

“Dont forget.” Tom pleaded.

“I wont mate.”

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine

[fallingfor-fics]

Teachers Pet-chapter 15: a sign

All chapters

chapter 14

"Ms. L/n?" I heard the familiar voice say from behind me. I flinched a little and then froze, not turning around, not wanting him to see me in this current state. The cold air continued to breeze by and I had a shiver go down my spine as I heard him step closer. "Y/n" he said in his smooth deep voice and my heart crumbled a little at him saying my name. "Why are you up here at this hour? You need to get back to your dormitory immediately." he said grabbing my shoulder to turn me to face him.

 I kept my head down and slowly looked up into his eyes with my now red and puffy ones. He looked a tad shocked to find me in this state and his face softened a bit. "I-im sorry professor, I couldn't sleep. I needed to clear my head." I said sniffling and avoiding eye contact. "Well, you shouldn't have left your room, it's against the rules and you know that." he said in a more quiet soft tone. "I-i know I'll go now." I said my voice shaking as I went to walk past him. He touched my shoulder with his hand and turned to face him once more. "What's troubling you?" He asked with an almost concerned voice. I just looked up into his black eyes and took in a breath trying to calm myself. I shivered as another cold breeze came through and I put my arms across my chest and looked down at my feet. He took notice and I saw him take off his robes and hesitantly drape them over my shoulders. "You are going to freeze to death up here in that." he added, still expecting an explanation. "I didn't plan on coming all the way up here.'' I said, looking out the tower wrapping the robes around me."Are you going to tell me why you're upset or am I gonna have to alert Albus" he said in a more stern voice, but I could tell he was just trying to push me to tell him what's wrong. "Why do you care Sir?" I said in a quiet voice not wanting to sound harsh, I genuinely wanted to know why he wasn't deducting house points and assigning detention like he would have with any other student. "I just want to make sure you are...well." He said, looking out the tower as well. I walked over to the ledge and looked back up at the stars. He followed suit and stood next to me and followed my gaze up.

"Funny isn't it?" I said keeping my gaze on the sky, "How, fragile life can be. You can be down here one minute and up there the next." I said letting out a small laugh. "Is this about your sister Y/n?" He said looking down at me. I quickly darted my gaze to his and looked into his eyes, searching for any information I could find. "How do you know about her?" I asked a little shocked, I was sure only Dumbledore knew of her. He let in a small breath, "I um, Dumbledore spoke of her once to us teachers before you arrived". "What did he say?" I asked, remaining eye contact with the tall man. "Just that you two were fairly close and she..." he paused for a moment looking back out at the sky. "Died." I said, turning my gaze "You can say it, Severus. It's not a secret, and I'm no longer sensitive to the fact." I added he gave me a look for using his name but let it slide. "I'm upset because of my Father," He looked at me sharply and I just continued staring out, "and another issue i'm having but that's really none of your concern." I let out a ragged breath "Yes well im familiar with conniving Fathers." he said quietly. I looked at him, was he opening up to me? I felt butterflies and smiled a bit at this. "You are?" I said playing it cool. "Yes I do, my father was a horrible man to my mother and I" he said clearing his throat. "The reason I was crying wasn't just because of my problems, but because I don't know what to do about them, and I have no one to ask for advice from because... well they're personal." I said , looking down and silently taking in a whiff of his robes, parchment and firewhiskey with a hint of pine. "Well enlighten me, i've seen a lot, maybe I can help you." he said looking down at me. "Well I'm afraid there's not much I can do about my asshole father," I said laughing, "No I suppose not" he said, stiffening a bit. "As for my other issue I..." I debated saying anything what if he caught on or was able to see right through me and was repulsed? "Have you ever had feelings for someone, but there's no possible way you'd ever get to be with them?" I said looking up at him with saddened eyes. He straightened out and cleared his throat at this question.

Oh no I said too much he knows I mean him and now he's gonna kill me. He opened his mouth to speak and hesitated for a minute. "I did," He said, still not looking back at me. I studied his face as he thought for a moment, he was so handsome, and his skin looked so soft and his hooked nose was like a Gods. "Many years ago." he added, I assumed he wasn't going to tell me anything else about her. "What did you do about it?" I asked expectantly, amazed by how far our conversation had come along, so grateful he was being so kind and trusted me. "Well years later she married and had a child, and then she was killed." he said in a somber tone. I looked into his eyes with an apologetic look, this poor man, I can't imagine how i'd feel if that happened to me, no wonder his eyes hold so much pain, he lives with so much pain. "I didn't do anything because she didnt love me back, " he said looking down at me glancing over my expression, " but this is not always the case Y/n, you may have a chance, you just shouldn't hide your feelings. Like you said, we can be down here one minute and up there the next, so don't hold back." he said with a small smile, I looked into his eyes soaking in every word he was saying, I wish I could sit here and let it all out, tell him everything I feel for him, and let him hold me, but I knew that wasn't an option. "Now this does not mean you should be reckless though Ms. L/n, still follow the rules, just don't go wandering around the castle every night." he added, lightening the mood a bit and giving me a small smile.

"Now, come you need to get back to your dormitory and I need to get back to monitoring the halls for more delinquents like yourself." I laughed at his comment and nodded my head. We walked down the steps and he escorted me back to the Slytherin common room. I stopped outside it and looked at him. "Thank you Professor." I said smiling, I lingered for a moment and gave him a small hug, this time I knew I was doing it and it felt good. I felt him lightly resting his hands on my back, I could stay here forever, but I pulled away and looked at him for any sign of anger, but he just had a look of exhaust and slight remorse. I went to head into the room but remembered I still had his robes on. "Oh, here, sorry, thank you for lending them to me," I said taking them off and handing them back to him. "Of course, can't allow you to freeze to death that would be insensitive and get me fired." he said taking them and straightening up, he looked to be back in his usual mood and his eyes wandered away from mine. "Goodnight Severus." I said smiling. He shook his head with a straight face "Nope" he responded and I just laughed walking into the Slytherin common room and shutting the door behind me.

He walked off and I leaned against the door smiling a bit. I got back into my room and laid down. I smelt my nightgown and could faintly smell him on it. I blushed a little and looked out my window thinking of the conversation I'd just had with the cold Potions Professor. I had asked for a sign, an answer as to why, and then he showed up, I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but it felt nice knowing that small detail. The way he opened up to me and trusted me, I was shocked to say the least. Why did he comfort me and treat me so kindly? There's no way it's just because I'm kind to him, and I help him with class stuff right? I mean he has such a strong reputation here of being mean and resentful, and I see that side of him all the time, but he never ceases to surprise me with his understanding nature. He's a very intelligent man, he must be able to tell I'm worthy of receiving such treatment. No it's probably just him being nice to the headmasters goddaughter, surely nothing else, and I shouldn't let myself believe otherwise. I turned and looked at the clock, it was 3 o'clock. Holy shit we talked for so long. I took one more whiff of my nightgown, his faint smell growing more and more weak, and closed my eyes. Drifting off into the peaceful silence.

#snape x reader #snape imagine #severusnape #professor snape #snape #severus snape #severusimagine #severus x reader #severus snape x reader #Snape slowburn #slytherin #hogwarts

[bridgyrose]

Salem's vessel au. Does Salem ever convince Ruby to commit her first crime?

Ruby sighed as she walked through the weapons shop, looking at parts to start upgrading her weapon. It had only been a week since classes had started and right now, she was excited for a little time away from her team. 

Salem’s voice ran through Ruby’s mind, keeping calm. “You know they dont accept you.”

“Of course they do. They’re my teammates. My friends. Sure, we have a lot of… disagreements, but we’re working on it.” 

“But tell me, why would they want to listen to someone who’s two years their junior? Dont you think its a bit… humiliating for them?”

Ruby stopped for a moment as she listened to Salem’s words. “I’m not sure I understand.” 

“Think about it: you’re two years younger than most anybody in this academy. Why should they listen to someone like you? Someone who lacks the experience that they do?”

“They’re giving me a chance. That’s all that matters.” 

“That Schnee girl seems to be trying to get you kicked out.”

“Weiss is starting to accept that I’m the team leader.” Ruby sighed and started looking through a few scopes, trying to find one that would work for her sniper scythe. “I know the disagreements we have are… frequent, but that doesnt mean she’s trying to get me kicked out of the academy.” 

“Is that why she intentionally gave you the wrong notes to study from?” Salem smirked a bit inside of Ruby’s head. “Or how about the time she tried to get Ozpin to reconsider you being the leader. This has been a long week of her trying to make you fail, to take your dream away from you.”

“So what, you just want me to pick up a life of crime because no one’s going to give me a chance?” Ruby rolled her eyes. “I’m not someone who’s going to hate others just because a couple people are rude. For a supposedly all powerful witch-” Ruby’s body seized up, cutting off the words she was trying to say. 

Salem took over Ruby’s body in a flash of red. “Mind your tongue, girl. I’ve been alive for longer than this go-around of humanity. I’ve seen kingdoms rise and fall, I’ve lived through your history’s greatest events. Do not mistake what I’m saying as a claim that you should only hurt those that disagree with you. All I’m merely saying is pay attention to what those around you do. See how they perceive you. Like those goons over to the side.” 

Two men came into Ruby’s vision as Salem faced them. The men smirked at the younger girl, looking her over. Ruby suddenly felt disgusted by what she saw. 

Salem went back to browsing for Ruby, pretending to be her. “You need to become more aware of your surroundings. The more you see, the easier it is for you to tell the intent of those around you. Those men clearly like what they see about you. You’re young, you look naive, and chances are, they’re going to wait until you’re alone. However, we have the opportunity to change that.” 

“I… dont understand.”

Salem pulled Ruby’s scythe off her back, smirking a bit. “We’re going to give them a reason to leave you alone.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ruby groaned as she cleaned blood off the blade of her scythe. “When you said you wanted to give them a reason, I didnt think you meant this.” 

“If it wasnt you, it was going to be someone else. You’re my vessel and I’m going to protect you.”

“And murder is out of the question. I’m trying to be a huntress and killing isnt how you solve problems.” 

“Then maybe you dont really know why Ozma set up these academies to start with.”

Ruby sighed and put her scythe down, most of the blood cleaned off. “You keep saying not to trust him, but you still havent told me why. We’re alone in the dorm now, can you please tell me what’s going on?” 

“Since it’s a bit relevant to whats going on now, I’ll tell you.”

Ruby smiled a bit. “Finally.” 

Salem slowly started to take control of Ruby’s body, leaving Ruby’s mind to wander her memories. Memories of a time where the gods walked among the land with humanity. “There once was a time where the gods lived on Remnant with their creations.”

Ruby went silent as she watched the memories run through her own mind, only seeing what Salem allowed her to see. The way the gods tormented Salem by bringing back Ozma and killing him in front of her. The way they punished her for only wanting the love of her life back. Humanity being destroyed and coming back, only for Ozma to betray Salem, killing their daughters in the process. 

Salem let her mind shut close, pulling her mind away from Ruby’s to let everything sink in. “Do you understand now? The gods, Ozma, all they wish to do is cause harm for anyone who lives on this world. But I have a different plan. I want to bring a new order into this world. One that will allow you to have your mother again, the one that Ozma sent away only for her to never return.”

Ruby got up and went to lay down in her bed to try to process everything that she saw. “And all of this… really happened?” 

“Every last image you saw.”

Ruby nodded slowly, taking a few deep breaths. “I… I think I just need to be alone for a bit. I need time to take all of this in.” 

Salem started to drift away from Ruby’s mind, giving her peace and quiet to think. 

#rwby #ruby rose #rwby ruby rose #salem #salem rwby #salem's vessel au #salem's vessel

[bakugoukatsukisonly]

Bakugou finds out about your feelings

bakugou fic

bakugou x y/n little scenario(headcanon) cause why not? but really its just my ranting thoughts about my love for bakugou LOL. ive been seeing some post that was directed to bakugou simps saying along the lines of "if you minus the looks, what do you like about bakugou, be honest," all the while smirking and chuckling as if to say that i only care about his looks. BOI IF YOU DONT-

there's a lot more about bakugou than just his looks and here im going to rant my feelings, maybe no one will even read this but i just dont have anyone to talk to and i just had to let this out.

bakugou x y/n

The girls of 1-A had just finish a small bonding session together. They were together cooking for the whole class. It was a cute little bonding time and in all honesty y/n was not really focusing on the cooking and more to their interaction together. The boys were aware of the girls' plan for the afternoon so, none interrupted their cooking session and did their own thing for the whole afternoon.

There was still time before dinner and after setting up the cultlery and the food, all of the girls were hanging out in the common area just casually chatting. 'Girls talk' was bound to emerge from their conversation and whats the hottest news for today? Yup, it was the ever so shocking news about y/n and Bakugou dating each other.

"Now, lets just get straight to the point here," Mina started pointing an accusing finger to none other than an innocent y/n who was trying to run away from her friends and get changed in her dorm before the question arised.

"Dont you dare run! You know we want to hear the whole tea, hot steamy tea," Mina was smirking the whole time and made an overdramatic hand gestures on the 'hot steamy tea' part as if it was really hot there. All of the other girls laughed at their pink friend, and in all honesty, all of them wanted to hear the shocking news right from the center of attention herself.

Y/n only smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of her neck. She was totally embarassed to talk about her relationship. Her cheeks dusted a slight color of red. She didnt know Bakugou was the type to actually do PDA infront of people. When she asked about it to Bakugou as to why he suddenly kiss her infront of the school, he simply said that she isnt available and making damn sure who she belongs to and vice versa.

"Well??? I wanna hear the whole story, please, please, please, please," Ochaco hugged the side of y/n and plead to her making her hard to deny it any longer.

"Fineeeee," y/n gave in and was now being sat on the couch answering a question after another.

"heyy, who confessed first?" Hagakure asked while shaking the poor girl.

"i-it was- it was him, he- he gave me a sweet letter under my desk one day asking to meet up, and yeah that was our day one," Y/n explained hiding her already red face under her hands. The girls squealed not expecting the sweetness of a certain always angy gremlin.

"Oh my god! When was this?" Hagakure once again shook the poor girl barely containing her own excitement.

"It was the morning after the provisional license," cue another squealing session from the girls.

"Oh my god, thats why you said you had to do something on that day when i asked to go to the dorms together, you were with your sweet boyfriend, right?" Mina smirked while pinching y/n's cheeks resulting in a more red tomato y/n.

"but honestly, what do you even see in that man? Aside from his looks, like seriously?" Kiyoka asked while making a serious face like, she cant quite understand the situation. That question rilled y/n up actually. Now, she was determine to talk.

"Yeah, you had eyes on that angry pomeranian since day one, if im correct?" Mina smirked almost looking like the lenny emoji.

"I mean i could see the handsomeness but other than that, i cant really see anything other than that angry demeanour," Ochaco said while making a confused face, trying to search for anything 'good' about Bakugou.

"No, actually, i wasnt attracted to his looks at first, it was his personality that caught my full attention, he always had a plan in mind, and he knows what he is doing most of time, he was really charming that way and oh god i always get butterflies whenever i see him focusing on what he loves to do, being the hero that he is. He is also undeniaby strong and add up to his flashy quirk, i couldnt be happier to be by his side. Sometimes when he is angry, wait-- sometimes?" Y/n chuckled, followed by the other girls, knowing well that boy was always angry and I mean ALWAYS.

"Yea, when he is angry, i cant help but to actually just go up to him and kiss him, because he looks so cute everytime. I never had thought that him being angry as something bad or anything, I may not know what he really means, but he must have his reasons and i trust him with my whole life. If you ask about what I see in him, im more worried about what he thinks of me, he's wayyy out of my league and it shows-" y/n was suddenly caught mid sentence by a strong voice that she surely knows who it belongs to.

"Dont you dare finish that sentence, babe," In came the hot topic of the night looking awfully attractive with his black tank top and sweatpants.

"You know i love you babe, youre already perfect for me and i would also love to be by your side, and also, you can kiss me now if you want to," he was already infront of the said girl. He swoop the girl in his embrace and slid in a wink knowingly.

Yup, cue the third squealing session and a tomato y/n trying to hide her blushing face underneath her hands, worrying if Bakugou had heard the whole thing but then again it was already out in the open for everyone.

Truth is, the boys were all eavesdropping and occasionally snickered at Bakugou when y/n said something sweet while exposing Bakugou and herself.

Bakugou was actually blushing the entire time and was really happy that his girlfriend thought about him like that. He knows he was already in deep, he promise to himself that he would never try to ruin anything.

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou headcanons #bakugou x y/n #bakugou fluff #bnha #mha x y/n #mha imagines #mha headcanons #mha bakugou #kacchan #boku no hero au #boku no hero x reader #katsuki

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

warnings: extremely negative feelings towards a sibling, distressing / intrusive thoughts. placed under a break due to the content of the message. remember, I'm not a mental health professional.

updated with additional viewpoints from readers at the bottom!

I'm sorry in advance.

I really hate my older sister. She never respects my boundaries, insults me frequently, and is just annoying and hypocritical in general.

I've always had these issues with her, but she lived at her own apartment away from me and the rest of my family, so I've been able to control my hatred of her. But last year in March she moved back in and sold her apartment. She has no plans of leaving anytime soon, and I can't stand her.

We shared a bedroom for about a year because we were also taking care of my cousin who also moved in with us last year. My cousin has since moved out, but my sister is unfortunately here to stay for a couple of years. But with extra space, I was able to move into the spare bedroom and thought that would be the end of my problems.

It wasn't. In fact, she has become even more unbearable. The hardest part of this relationship is that she has a weird obsession with being with me. I'm not sure if this is because she loves me, or she's just weird. I think she's weird because my parents never act like she does.

Our bedrooms are right next to each other. There's really no reason for her to miss me. But every single fucking minute she's coming into my room to bother me. I would have more empathy for her if she acknowledged my limits, but she doesn't.

She's constantly cuddling me after I've said for MONTHS that I don't enjoy it and it makes me uncomfortable. She constantly belittles me by saying I couldn't live without her, and that I would be a mess if it wasn't for her (mind you, I've lived without her at the house for YEARS and I was perfectly fine). She's constantly in my business, interrogating me about every little thing. She once locked the door and wouldn't let me leave the room without answering her questions for 20 minutes; she asked me about a $30 Amazon order containing manga I ordered with MY OWN MONEY. And I had permission for my parents to order it! It wasn't her business whatsoever.

I've tried to keep her out numerous times; I've gotten in trouble for it. My parents say I'm being mean and that this is her way of loving me. What I feel like they ignore is that I'M UNCOMFORTABLE. Her way of "loving me" HURTS.

I've tried communication. I've had multiple meetings with my family about my boundaries and they say they'll change, but they never do.

Another factor that worsens this is that I have borderline personality disorder. I'm currently being denied therapy or intervention of any kind. I get told my mental illness is a result of me having an attitude and hating my family.

I writing this to you because I've been having very alarming thoughts recently. I'm been somewhat suicidal as long as I can remember, but this is different. I've been having nightmares about killing my family/my family killing me. I don't want to kill my family. As much as they have abused me, I know they truly love me deep down. But when I'm in a mental breakdown, I don't think for the most part. I'm afraid I'm going to do something to hurt them if they continue to push me. I'm too scared to turn myself into the police and I don't want to be taken away from my home. I truly need therapy, but it's expensive and I'm not allowed to get it.

Are there any options left for me? I love my family and I want to get better, but I can't stand them. It'll be a while before I can live on my own, and I don't think I'll make it that long.

I'm so sorry.

I appreciate that you came to me, however, please remember I am not a mental health professional.

I do not have the best relationship with my family. I've come to accept that they just exist and I moved away from them. I keep a strict level of familiarity with them for my own sanity and well-being. There are people in my immediate family I don't talk to anymore or only speak to in certain situations, with other people around to buffer my emotions. No one in my family understands or respects my mental health issues and I have ceased talking about it with them.

I will admit, I had to ask for help. I'm going to share the answer of someone I trust, because they are much more level-headed when it comes to something like this.

Use different words with your sister. Instead of "I'm mad or annoyed", use words that bring out more empathy - "You're making me sad and uncomfortable. You're hurting me." Anger is usually perceived as something within you, something you must control. But sadness is usually not perceived in the same light. People usually see sadness as something that has a cause and perhaps letting her know that she is the cause will have an effect on her. Using different words when speaking to her may slowly change her perspective.

When it comes to your parents, well, parents do not usually understand sibling dynamics. They're fucking useless most of the time when it comes to problems specifically between siblings. It might be better if you say something like, "Her constant intrusions are affecting my school work. My grades are going to drop." Usually, parents respond more urgently if you say you education is affected - and it doesn't matter if it's true or not, we're just trying to get them to help in some way.

I had to remind them it's summertime lol

Oh shit, you're right. Er. Well, In any case, it seems you've tried having reasonable discussions with your parents and it doesn't seem helpful to continue discussing this particular topic with them. Maybe get into fitness since it's summertime. Go outside, do something active. She can't cuddle you if you're running, right? Then you can also be stronger and feeling better physically improves mental health. Put some music on, go hiking or running, take yourself out of the situation.

I don't know if this is possible, but perhaps if you're experiencing a mental breakdown and you're afraid of hurting your family, run out of the house? It might be better to be physically away from them at that time to avoid saying or doing anything you regret. It may help clear your head and help your family realize that this is something that is truly debilitating to you.

I don't know your age, so I don't know if the school thing is relevant. It's only a suggestion.

You said it will be a while before you can live on your own. When I knew the cons of living with my family outweighed the pros, I did everything in my power to prepare myself for leaving because I needed a goal in order to survive. I needed distractions, reading, writing, gaming, music, anything else to occupy my mind and help control my thoughts. There was a time when I needed music to fall asleep (headphones in on low volume).

Also... uh.

I'm not saying you should do this. I'm only saying I did.

My siblings and I have physically fought before. One has scars from fighting me. The scarred one is the one closest to me currently.

Not saying you should do it.

But I did.

If anyone feels comfortable enough to share how they dealt with it in their own situation, please do. Maybe more perspectives can help this person.

--

some other experiences sent to me:

anon #1

I don't think I had a situation that extreme but my brother was a little like that. I honestly had to become kinda rude and indifferent. Like he'd always use my laptop and stuff and I put passwords on everything and just don't tell him. And then when he tried to hug or cuddle id say I don't liek it and just push him away physically now this soudns fucking obvious when I say it this way but like I don't think I read that u tried it ? Idk I discovered I have a loud annoying scream that neighbours will hear, and fucking strokg legs I used to kick him away but like I was tiny so I don't really endorse violence but I didnt like being close to a 'boy' essentially at taht age so yea... Idk man siblings are weird and I have had intrusive thoughts so I think I didn't handle it well but for a few years I became an asshole to him and then now I'm good with talking sometimes and I keep it short and sweet and I've mentioned that I'm sorry for being mean in the past bcuz like I am ? Bcuz I'm not an asshole ? ( But like I did what I had to do ) I hope u get the help and support u need

anon #2

I read the message from the previous anon and I have to say I relate to what they say. I wouldn’t say i’ve completely dealt with the situation when it comes to my parents.

I have 4 siblings and i’m the oldest, my sister that’s 2 years younger than me always gets in my way and is a tyrant. Because she’s much taller than me she overpowers me and i also have scars from when we’ve fought. My parents don’t intervene because they say we’ll make up soon and I honestly can’t stay mad at people for long. I also live with my parents and am not able to move out anytime soon until I get my degree.

A few weeks ago my mother was complaining to my father that I don’t help around the house and all that bullshit but it’s obviously not true. Anyway. My father came into my room and threw all my clothes from my cupboards on the floor and said my sister and I must get out of his house. He was literally pulling us and we were crying because where the hell would we go. My smaller siblings were begging for him not to chase us out of the house but he was ballistic. He was constantly throwing insults at me, calling me selfish and disrespectful. I was having a mental breakdown and I said i hope that God takes my life away because i’m too weak to do it myself. I kept saying that and when my parents heard me. They called me crazy and were laughing at me and said i should take it back because instead of me another one of my family members would go.

My parents don’t care about mental health and therapy. It’s all unnecessary to them. But after that night I tried to find my own way of getting rid of the negative thoughts, I choose to ignore what everyone tells me. I agree with everything that you said about trying to get away from their family when they have those thoughts. I try meditation and praying. I’m not sure if that person follows any religion but that’s what helped me. And writing can be cathartic. Also remember that you’re not alone, there are so many people out there who share your sorrows and can relate to your situation. I think about my little siblings who i’m close to and what it would be like if i wasn’t there.

Maybe if they could get a pet? I know having a pet can make you feel less alone and you feel a sense of responsibility towards them. As for their sister, she needs to see their point of view and tell her that she makes her feel overwhelmed with the things she does. She can spend time with her and try to make her understand that they need their space too.

anon #3

I also have sum advice 4 the sibling anon frm a fellow bpd buddy:

Does ur view of ur sister change from "i hate her" to "she's alright" sometimes? Viewing sum1 as all bad or all good is common in bpd ppl and usually changes alot. I rec writing down the moments where she shows she loves u. This could be thru buying smth for u or doing smth 4 u. I had a similar relationship w a friend and this exercise helped me remember that she might not have intentions to hurt me and might b trying 2 bond. Repairing the relationship might take a while. Talk alot if u can, it seems like ur family is at least willing to hear u out, even if there behavior doesn't change much. Keep sum distance if needed. Working out and finding fun hobbies is good.

If u feel like ur breaking down, try breathing exercises n identify 5 things u notice thru ur senses. What do u feel? What do u smell? What do u taste? What do u see? What do u hear? I personally like taking myself down rabbit holes. For example: I see a yellow jacket > this shade of yellow is a cool tone > what makes a color "cool" or "warm" > why do we associate red with warmth > what if the sun was blue > what if ocean water looked orange > is water wet

I usually end up forgetting what was making me upset. If it was a big deal I would still remember, but at least I would b less emotional and a bit more rational.

Search up cognitive behavior therapy and dialectical behavior therapy and try 2 practice sumthing similar 2 exercises u would perform w a therapist. Squeeze stress balls. Masturbate (this blog is perfect 4 that lol). Maybe watch some videos done by therapists on youtube. I watched a couple of videos abt therapists reacting 2 fighting in movies and I learned alot (this video was very fun to watch)!

Anyway that's what helps me! Good luck 2 u!!!