#have to change my tumblr name because I only own Carlos

[lestappenforever]

Hi. I just wanted to say I love how rational you are. Your answers to asks are so well thought out and thoughtful as well as kind. So keep being amazing.

As for Lestappen going mainstream, there are two sides to it. One is that Max haters want Max to be a villain so badly. They want everyone to hate him and especially the F1 prince (he’s a princess but to each their own I guess) but what they don’t know is Charles loves Max and vice versa. They are the same, they see themselves in each other. Two, Lestappies are also scared because we have a bubble here on tumblr and Ao3 (X doesn’t count because that place is toxic AF) People don’t want that bubble bursted because once it is and Max/Charles get a whiff or any negativity they might start hiding their interactions. But the thing is, of course they know people ship them, just about any celebrity knows people ship them with whatever other person out there, the problem would be breaking the fourth wall and just being outright insane about wanting them to be together or harassing them and their partners about this.

Do people really think if both Max and Charles were not happy about it they’d allow their teams to post about them with the actual ship name??

Also, we have Carlando. Everyone and their grandmother knows about Carlando. Both Carlos and Lando use that ship name. So does Carlos’ dad, F1 commentators etc. So why should Lestappen be any different? Yes there are people out there with no value for basic human decency and lack of common sense but if we are all respectful, I don’t see why Lestappen can’t be as fun as Carlando and even way better. So if some people think they are doing the nasty behind their gfs backs that’s on them, but keep it to yourself or fandom spaces don’t go to Max and Charles or their partners with that bs and that includes their comments or tagging them in whatever. We don’t know the extent of their relationship whatever they are to each other makes them happy and we should be happy for them too.

Looking forward to today’s podium (Lestappen 1-2) and their honeymoon in Las Vegas as per F1 Las Vegas suggested 😉

Good evening, my darling anon! Thank you so much for your kind words. I love getting asks, and this fandom makes me so happy, so I'm very glad to hear that you think that’s reflected in the way I answer asks. ❤️

And you are absolutely right, with everything you've said. Max haters will make Max out to be the villain he isn’t no matter what, and that’s never going to change. But they will be free to live in their delusion because there is no denying that not only do Max and Charles respect each other, they also like each other. Genuinely. The people who can’t deal with that are going to keep trying to convince themselves of a reality that doesn’t exist, which is fine. What isn’t fine is trying to force their narrative on people who clearly disagree with it.

As for them being aware of people shipping them: Oh, absolutely. Shipping is everywhere, and if they were truly uncomfortable with the concept of Lestappen, their teams would not be posting about it on main. It’s that simple. But keeping certain parts of shipping, like fanfics, far away from the people of the ship is a given anywhere, with any ship, in any fandom. That’s something that’s meant to be fun for fans, and nobody should be pushing those things onto the people involved, their partners, their families etc., in any capacity. That’s simply a matter of common decency, and being a reasonable human being.

Shipping is supposed to be fun, and if you take it to the real world and the real people involved, it stops being fun and starts being incredibly uncomfortable for everyone involved. Let’s stay in our little bubble and be happy here, and take the Lestappen content we get on main with open arms.

Oh, babe, me too. I'm manifesting a Lestappen podium with everything I have, and I am so excited for this race.

I absolutely love your take on this whole thing, anon, and your logic is flawless. I love you. ❤️

#Asks #Anon asks #Lestappen asks #Lestappen dynamics anons

[st-sainz]

Tagged by @watercolor-hearts, I'm actually surprised someone remembers my @ to tag me in these! quite heartwarming tbh, thank you lovely, hope you have a nice day/evening/morning 🤗💙

Name: my true name starts with a. m. but since i'm a person on the verge of mixing reality w/ virtual i rather be just called goggles lmao (not to be too vague, my second one is miguel, a quite common latino name, but the first one is quite unusual and it feels too real to be called like that so im hiding it lol)

Sign: Leo (i copied from the op who tagged me and yes this is my sign as well)

Time: 19:16 (i definetely spent too much time elaborating and correcting my own answers lmao)

Favourite band/artist: the short version or the long one? cause honestly im kind of into music as a whole, but to select just a few, i'd say Fiona Apple, Joanna Newsom, Beyoncé and Björk. yep, all ladies, dont ask me why but i just connect with female vocalists more

Last movie: ooh.. this one is quite been some time actually... i think it was Knives Out: Glass Onion! just a little bit of silly fun entertainment and cause i was honestly curious cause i liked watching the 1st knives out.

Last show: Drive to survive 🤷‍♂️ im not a very series person tbh (even dts i only watched the eps i actually was curious about lmao)

When I created this blog: this kind of has 2 answers idk. because this used to be a ziam - yes you read that right - a ziam blog lmao but i didnt put much thought into it tho. then i just stopped using for years, and i just came 2 months ago back to delete it and replace with this actual blog cause i discovered the charlos side of tumblr and wanted to interact w the blogs i discoveeed, reblog and all that jazz.

Other blogs: other than the one i deleted, no, i just have this active blog.

Do I get asks: no i turned them off lol but i dont mind actually i get kind of peaceful thinking im just a dot in this vast virtual world of internet, at least here

Followers: 125 accs (i guess, i dont check bots but i dont think there are too much of them)

Average hours of sleep: i guess it varies on 6-8? there are days a sleep a little bit later but tbh i dont keep track of these lol but i can tell i've been pretty okay with my schedule lately, at least my insomnia stopped

Instruments: nope. i have a shitty keyboard but i just gave up on learning, but i do plan on trying again, just dont know when

What I am wearing: green shorts and an ugly printed but comfortable t shirt

Dream job: i mean, it says dream job... so i might go full in... singer/songwriter 🤓

Dream trip: actually i'm not really obsessed about trips anymore... but if i had to pick one i'm just saying Madrid cause its where carlos jr was born 🤓 (i still want to go there and investigate in person to find his official time of birth btw, so yep im picking madrid)

Favorite song atm: i have a lot of songs being my faves simultaneously and it changes fast depending on the moments/moods but im going with In California by Joanna Newsom cause the chorus when she sings "cuckoo cuckoo" its freaking amazing tbh. for my more upbeat side tho i'm picking Those Eyes, That Mouth by cocteau twins.

Tagging:@leclercsbf and @leoramage (tagging you two cause you were the ones to start a conversation w me so i think it wouldn't be too awkward lol but hey, feel free to ignore if you dont want to or dont like these, no hard feelings, were just dots in a virtual space)

(ps: i was actually very defensive about these kind of posts but i tried this one for fun and hey it is fun! it was kind of cool to talk about myself freely without my face or name plastered on it so thanks for that, person who tagged me)

#do i even tag this (lmao) #ramblings

[moved-please-leave-me-alone]

FULL LIST OF MY HEADCANONS FOR MARTY FROM PAPA LOUIE:

-Transsexual bisexual man who realized he was trans like a month before the events of the first game. Also on the Aroace spectrum. More specifically aroflux Cupiosexual but he just says Aroace because he doesn’t feel like explaining things

-autistic 100%

-he’s also schizophrenic, and has BPD, OCD, ADHD, and DPDR

-he has a lot of weird food habits, like he will eat food off the floor and not care even little bit. If you drop your chips he WILL eat them. He will make the most cursed food combinations, such as: peanut butter and onion sandwiches, waffle mozzarella sandwiches, eating raw salt straight from the shaker, putting Nutella on pasta, etc. This man should NOT be in charge of a burger restaurant, that was Papa Louie’s first mistake

-VERY touchy. VERY clingy. He grabs onto everyone, hugs everyone, this man touches everything.

-stoner. Don’t think I need to elaborate anymore.

-Owns like 30 pairs of patch pants.

-Feels the need to forcibly insert himself into literally everything because he likes attention, and HATES being ignored

-has witnessed Horrors as a child but remembers None Of It

-Speaking of horrors, his parents do not have a stable relationship, but can’t divorce due to religious reasons. Marty, however, remembers None Of This and Clover has to constantly remind him why they don’t visit them on Thanksgiving.

-this man lost all ability to feel shame and embarrassment years ago. He is unabashedly loud. He sings terribly. He makes terrible art. He does whatever he wants. He does not give any sort of damn.

-on the flipside (get it), Rita is way more conservative, coming from a super religious family. And then her coworker is a Complete And Utter Freak. Oh yeah baby it’s alllllll coming together.

-He used to bite people as a kid. A lot.

-He stims by rocking on his heels, quoting YTPs, and pacing

-He has the entirety of Eggman’s Announcement memorized by heart and can recite it word for word on cue.

-He was best friends with Carlo Romano in 4th grade, who taught him how to play guitar. However, Marty was way more clingy and attached to Carlo Romano than Carlo was to Marty, and they drifted apart. Years later, they reunited, and Marty is absolutely CONVINCED that they are still best friends, whilst Carlo Romano wants absolutely nothing to do with him, and finds him annoying. Drama!

-he may have severe abandonment issues but boy can he SHRED on that guitar

-Literally a month before the events of the first game he was smoking weed with Mitch, and Mitch was like “Bro isn’t it so crazy that you can just. Change your gender if you want too” and Marty’s like “Wait you can what” and then proceeded to have a Gender Crisis

-he’s very forgiving usually, even if the person isn’t sorry. This is partially due to his horrible memory, and he mostly just forgets what they do after a day. There are some exceptions however….

-throws bricks at cop cars for a hobby

-chews on EVERYTHING. Shirts, water bottles, himself, you name it, he’s probably chewed on it

-has a dog named Rat and a rat named Dog

-Only reason he’s in Scarlett and The Shakers is because Clover joined, and like I said he feels the need to forcibly insert himself into everything

-Uses tumblr, his URL is “Supermegacockguy”

-has cried over sugar gliders before

-He listens to folk punk, punk rock, basically every genre of punk music besides punk pop. His playlists are basically entirely that, except his main one also has “There’s a Zombie On Your Lawn” from the hit videogame Plants Vs Zombies

Conclusion: this man is a complete freak

I might add to this if I get more ideas, but for now this is it. Enjoy!

#Papa Louie #marty Papa Louie #jimmy.txt

[morganaspendragonss]

holly's august extravaganza day 26: slowly becoming lovers

for sonia (@pragmaticoptimist34)! i have to confess something - i got so caught up in writing this that i actually forgot to include either of the other two prompts you sent me 🙈 i hope you like it anyway!

second confession - it was supposed to be longer and then it kind of got away from me so i had to draw a line somewhere oops

thanks to @ravens-words, @cosmiicmalex, @halsteadmarchs and liz (sorry, i don't know your tumblr!) for enabling me and to @noxsoulmate for beta'ing!

ao3 | 2.9k | falling in love, fluff, tiny, tiny hint of hurt/comfort, soft tarlos, set between s1 and s2

Things don’t get fixed overnight. They agree to give them a shot, but that doesn’t change the fact that TK is still reeling from his break-up and overdose, nor that Carlos is still hesitant and afraid of pushing too hard at once.

But, slowly, they get to know each other. And, slowly, they start to fall in love.

i. food preferences

“You have to be joking.”

“It tastes like soap, Carlos!”

Carlos groans and drops his head into his hands, shaking his head at this latest revelation from his boyfriend. His boyfriend, who has just made his life—or at least his cooking—a hell of a lot more complicated. “My mamá would have a fit if she could hear you now.”

He almost regrets the words as TK’s eyes alight with interest; he’s been dancing around the topic of his parents for a while now, but it’s not like he can deny what he said. His mom would be having a fit, or possibly attempting to kill TK with a wooden spoon, if she found out that Carlos’s boyfriend was not only a gringo, but one who hates coriander.

“I swear, you won’t even taste it when it’s mixed into the food,” he tries, because coriander is a staple of his cooking, and he can’t even fathom not using it.

But TK just levels him with a firm look. “Yes, I will, Carlos. I’ll always taste it.”

Carlos rolls his eyes at his boyfriend’s theatrics, but sighs, relenting. “Fine. I suppose I can—” He doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence, as TK throws his arms around him and plants a noisy kiss on his cheek.

“Thanks, babe,” he says, grinning cheekily.

“Yeah, yeah,” Carlos grumbles, but he can’t help but smile.

There’s very little, he’s finding, that he wouldn’t do for TK.

ii. nicknames

It slips out by accident one day.

“TK,” Carlos groans, followed by a gasp as TK moves just right, sending sparks of pleasure down his spine. “TK, Ty—”

TK instantly freezes on top of him and Carlos’s eyes open, concern rising in him as he takes in the pensive look on his boyfriend’s face.

“What’s wrong?”

“I…” TK shakes his head and forces a smile. “It’s nothing. I’m good, I promise.” He ducks down to kiss Carlos again, but the mood is all wrong, and Carlos gently pushes him back, raising an eyebrow. TK holds out a moment longer, then sighs and rolls away, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s stupid.”

Carlos tuts, reaching over to brush a hand through TK’s hair. “Bet you $20 it’s not.”

“Hope you have $20 then, Reyes,” TK says wryly. He looks over at Carlos and sighs again, biting his lip. “It’s just… You called me Ty.”

“Oh.” Carlos’s eyes widen and he props himself up on an elbow. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking; it won’t happen again—”

TK presses a finger against his lips, cutting him off abruptly. He smiles softly, then removes his finger and caresses Carlos’s cheek. “It’s okay,” he says. “More than okay, actually. I… I’ve always hated my name, but, I don’t know, I guess it sounded right? Like, when you said it? I think I’d kill anyone else who tried, but I really liked it coming from you.”

“Are you sure? You’re not just saying that because—”

Carlos is again cut off, this time by TK’s lips on his. TK moves so that he’s straddling Carlos again, hands pressed against his chest. “I’m sure,” he whispers, a grin playing at his mouth. “Now, weren’t we in the middle of something?”

iii. religion

Christmas sneaks up on him that year. Between helping the city recovering from the solar storm, work in general, the pandemic, and building his relationship with TK, Carlos has completely lost track of the months, until it’s a week before the date and he has nothing planned.

Really, it’s never been a big deal for him; he and his family used to attend mass and make an event out of it when he was a kid, but now he’s an adult, he’s often working, and he hasn’t been to church regularly since he was a teenager. But this year is different. This year, he’ll be spending it with TK, their first Christmas together, and he wants to make it special.

But he’s left it too late—nothing he orders online will arrive in time, the shops are becoming a nightmare, and he honestly has no clue where to even start. So Carlos resigns himself to another quiet Christmas, frustration and disappointment welling in him at the thought of telling his boyfriend.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out one night over dinner, the thought having been gnawing at him for days.

TK raises a brow. “For?”

“Christmas,” Carlos sighs, looking down into his stew. “It’s our first one together and I had all these plans, and then I just sort of… I didn’t forget! But things have been so crazy, and—”

He’s cut off when TK lays a hand on his. When Carlos looks up at him, TK seems to be fighting back laughter, which is confusing at best and potentially mildly insulting at worst.

“Babe,” TK says, grinning, “it’s okay. You might not believe me, but I forgot too. Christmas wasn’t really a thing growing up—my mom’s Jewish, so I used to celebrate Hanukkah on the years I stayed with her, and Dad was working more often than not. I don’t care, I promise.”

Carlos blinks. “You’re Jewish?” Surely he would know if… But they’ve never discussed religion before, and Carlos had kind of assumed TK had the same ideals as him about the church. In hindsight that was stupid and presumptuous, and Carlos can’t quite believe he’d do something like that. An apology is on the tip of his tongue, but TK just shrugs, going back to his stew.

“Half,” he says. “I don’t really practice anymore but I still keep the beliefs with me, if that makes sense?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it does.”

TK smiles at him, and Carlos suddenly realises that this holiday season will be special after all, even if they don’t celebrate anything. Because he’s with TK, which is the most special thing in the world.

iv. how they sleep

Carlos has been sleeping alone for a long time. He’s had a couple of short-term boyfriends and the odd hook-up here and there, but he’s never had someone else in his bed regularly—certainly not regularly enough to get used to it.

TK was hesitant at first to stay over, but once he started to be more comfortable, it was almost a given that they’d be sleeping together whenever their shifts allowed.

And it had been an adjustment.

TK had warned him he tended to move around and be clingy in his sleep, but Carlos hadn’t quite understood what that meant, until now. He is, essentially, trapped under TK, his arms pinned to his sides and one leg thrown over his hip. TK’s head is pillowed on Carlos’s shoulder and his breath is fanning in soft puffs over his skin.

The only way he can move is if he wakes TK up, and there’s no way Carlos is going to do that. His boyfriend looks so peaceful, and Carlos is more than happy to be clung onto like a koala to a branch if it keeps that expression on his face.

In fact, he thinks he can get used to this very easily.

v. pda

In private, their days are filled with gentle touches and stolen kisses. Carlos will be cooking breakfast and TK will slip his arms around him, kissing the back of his neck. TK will be doing one chore or another and Carlos will brush a hand over his back or gently nudge him as he walks past.

But in public, it’s a whole other story.

It’s almost reflexive, the way TK reaches for Carlos’s hand as they’re walking down the street. It’s something they do all the time at home, and even with their friends, but this time, Carlos immediately tenses, seemingly automatically pulling his hand away.

“You okay?” he asks, frowning.

Carlos takes a deep breath, then obviously plasters on a smile, retaking TK’s hand—and TK can feel the tension in the gesture. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” TK gently lets go of Carlos and smiles reassuringly up at him. “It’s okay if you’re not comfortable with touching in public.”

“I’m sorry, I just—”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. This is all on me; I should have asked.”

“But—”

“But, nothing.” He carefully bumps their soldiers together. “You’re entitled to your boundaries, I’m just sorry for overstepping. Tell me next time, please?”

Carlos hesitates, but nods, a gentle press of their arms a silent acknowledgment of agreement and understanding.

vi. scars

Carlos, TK has noticed, likes to pay extra attention to his bullet scar. Whether it’s pressing a gentle kiss over it when they’re in bed, or brushing it with his fingers when wrapping an arm around him, it happens too often for TK to believe it’s anything but intentional.

He doesn’t understand it at first.

Then he discovers Carlos’s own scars.

“What’s this?” he asks, tracing over the thick raised scarring on Carlos’s side. It stretches along the curve of his waist and round his back, and TK has no idea how he hasn’t noticed it before.

Carlos cranes his neck, letting out a hum when he sees what TK’s looking at. His head flops back down on the pillow and he closes his eyes, absently stroking up and down TK’s sides.

“It was...three years ago, maybe?” he says. “I got stabbed on a call. They told me it was pretty touch-and-go for a while, but they fixed me up and I was back at work in a month.”

His eyes are still closed, body completely relaxed, but TK can’t take his eyes off the scar. He reaches up to his own scar, and he gets it.

Carlos’s eyes crack open. “TK?”

“I’m good,” TK murmurs. He breaks his gaze from Carlos’s abdomen and smiles at him. “We both are.”

And if, after that day, Carlos notices him paying more attention to that scar, he doesn’t say anything.

vii. penguin or panda

“You’re out of your mind!”

In Carlos’s defence, a zoo date had seemed like a good idea. He knows TK loves animals, and he himself grew up around them, so in theory, a trip to Austin Zoo should have been the perfect time to get to know each other better while enjoying the day.

Turns out, TK has some very strong opinions on animals, and is willing to budge for absolutely no-one.

“I can’t believe you think penguins are cuter than pandas! I mean, look at them, Carlos!” He gestures emphatically to the panda enclosure, where one is napping on a log. It’s pretty cute, Carlos has to admit, but…

He shrugs. “But remember when the penguins were all huddling together?”

TK makes a noise of outrage, and Carlos has to laugh, then some more at the wounded pout he gets for it. “Is this really a thing for you?” he asks. “Like, is this going to be the dealbreaker for us?”

TK folds his arms and levels him with a stern look. “That depends,” he says. “Meerkats or koalas?”

And, just because he knows it will rile TK up more, Carlos grins and answers, “Meerkats.”

(They don’t break-up over it, but Carlos isn’t so sure that TK will be forgiving him any time soon.)

viii. special interests

“Say you could go back to a moment in history, but only once,” TK says, out of the blue, breaking the comfortable silence of the front room. Carlos stops carding his fingers through TK’s hair and looks down at him, curious. “Where would you go?”

Carlos opens his mouth, but TK doesn’t give him a second to answer. “Is it cliché if I said I’d go to Stonewall? I mean, I’d really like to see dinosaurs in the flesh, or—oh! I was, like, obsessed with pirates as a kid; I thought they were the coolest things ever, and I pretty much idolised Anne Bonny. But I’m pretty sure I’d die immediately if I went to either of those places, so…”

He trails off, a blush rising on his cheeks. “Sorry, I’m boring you.”

“No!” Carlos rushes to say. “No, you’re not. I love history, I just… What makes you ask?”

“It’s something we got into at the station earlier. Mateo brought it up first, I think?”

Carlos hums, pursing his lips in thought. “I guess…” He sighs and shakes his head. “It’s too hard. There’s so many places I’d want to go and people I’d want to meet.”

“But if you had to pick?” TK pushes, sitting upright and looking at Carlos with interest.

“I really want to meet Eleanor of Aquitaine, but if I could only go to one place…” He hesitates and thinks it over some more, but then his eyes catch on the masks hanging along the stairway, and he’s sure. “Tenochtitlan, but before Cortés arrived. It was a whole society, and I just think it would be so cool to see it up close and to know what it was like first-hand. I mean, I’ve read a lot of books, but we don’t have much from the Mexica people, a lot is from the conquerors, and—”

Carlos stops and huffs a laugh. “Now I’m the one boring you,” he says, but TK shakes his head, eyes bright.

“Tell me more.”

ix. coffee order

TK accepts the coffee without even thinking about it, even taking a sip before he realises he never told Carlos what his order was. He curses himself but resolves to drink it anyway; TK isn’t too much of a coffee snob, and he’s certainly not going to reject anything his boyfriend brings him.

He takes a second sip, and he’s so caught up in making a mental note to tell Carlos next time that it takes a minute for the taste to register. And…

It’s his order.

He looks sharply up at Carlos, who is smiling into his own coffee—therefore dispelling any notion of this being an insanely good guess. “How did you know?” he asks, bewildered.

The tips of Carlos’s ears turn pink, but the smile doesn’t leave his face as he looks up at TK. “Our first real date,” he says. “You mentioned that this was your go-to order.”

And TK can’t do anything but stare, because their first date was weeks ago, and Carlos still remembered, and it’s just…

He thinks—no, he knows—he’s falling in love.

x. fears

“Weirdest fears, go.”

TK has to laugh at the perplexed look Carlos sends him at the question, the straw of his boba hanging out of his mouth. Now that they’ve figured a sort of rhythm out between them, they decided to try the boba place again—there have been no emergencies or disasters so far, so TK is counting it as a win.

“Come on,” he continues. “Last time we were here, you said we barely knew each other—which was true—so now we’re going to fix it.”

Carlos’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “By telling each other our weirdest fears?”

“Exactly!” TK grins. “I’ll go first if you’re too chicken. Mine is slicing my hands open or cutting some fingers off with ice skates.”

“What?” Carlos breathes, disbelief all over his face. “I’ve never been ice skating but I’m pretty sure your hands aren’t supposed to go anywhere near the blades.”

“I didn’t say it was rational.” TK sips his boba, raising an eyebrow at Carlos. “Your turn.”

Carlos swallows, suddenly very interested in the table. “I, uh. When I was a kid, my Tía Lucy had a snake get into her pipes. She only discovered it when she went to the toilet one morning and it was just...sitting there in the bowl. I was terrified for years that the same would happen to us, and it’s kind of become a reflex to check.”

“Oh my god.” TK can’t help but burst out laughing, even though he feels bad for it as Carlos covers his face with his hands. “I’m sorry, I know it’s a real thing for you, I just…”

But Carlos’s shoulders are shaking too and, bizarrely, TK really does feel closer to him now.

It’s a good feeling.

xi. long-term commitments

Carlos is surprised when TK is the one to bring it up first.

“Do you ever think about the future?” he asks one day, head in Carlos’s lap, staring up at the ceiling.

Carlos pauses the show he’s technically supposed to be watching and quirks an eyebrow at his boyfriend. “Sure,” he says. “What about the future exactly?”

TK hesitates, and his voice comes out a lot quieter when he next speaks. “Like…” He sighs, a small flush rising on his cheeks. “The future. Our future. Us. Maybe...marriage, or…”

He trails off, practically whispering by the end of it. His gaze has shifted from the ceiling to the frozen TV screen and he’s chewing on his bottom lip, body stiff with tension. “Sorry,” he mutters. “Forget about it.”

But Carlos is learning to read TK, and he knows he was looking for reassurance. “I mean, yeah,” he says. “I think about it. Do you?”

TK stares up at him, wonder in his eyes. “After New York, I thought… But yeah. Yeah, I do.”

They share a smile as they lock eyes, and Carlos knows that they’re on the same page here. That, distant though they may be, both of them can hear wedding bells in their future.

#911 lone star #911 lone star fic #tarlos #tarlos fic #tk strand #carlos reyes #911ls #lone star #fanfiction #my fanfiction #writing #my writing #holly's august extravaganza #pragmaticoptimist34

[darlingpetao3]

Thank You For Ruining My Life: An Homage to Tom Cavanagh

“You’ve ruined all my future expectations of men.”

The costume-clad woman had the courage of steel to say this to the then 53-year-old actor, Tom Cavanagh of The Flash, in front of a ballroom filled with a couple hundred people. This brave utterance was spoken during the 2016 Fan Expo Vancouver convention during a Flash question and answer period with actors Tom Cavanagh and Candice Patton. In its third season, the show was undoubtedly still hitting its stride in popularity, and the room was packed to hear these two speak.

The brave woman whose turn it was at the microphone was referring to Tom’s role as Ed Stevens on the NBC 2000 hit, Ed. I had not known of this show previously, but having now heard such a proclamation intrigued me. “You’ve ruined all my future expectations of men.” That was a tempting notion, and as I continued to listen to this disarmingly charming and wittingly funny man steal the stage, Tom intrigued me even more. I’d watched him play three different versions of Harrison Wells on The Flash since the show’s premiere date, yet I hadn’t truly noticed him in a “life-ruining” way before.

Little did I know that Tom Cavanagh would not only eventually ruin my expectations for men as well, but he would change my life in other ways, too.

After the Q&A, I had this urge to buy a S.T.A.R. Labs T-shirt from one of the vendors at the convention. In my head, I thought I would purchase something so that I could have an excuse to talk to Mr. Cavanagh at his signing booth. Again, he intrigued me, and I wanted to experience more of his incredibly likeable personality. So, I dragged my friend with me to wait for what was maybe ten minutes in a queue. Shortly, I was paying the assistant for my autograph I would soon acquire. They wrote my name on a sticky note so that Tom would know how to sign a personalized message to me. And then, it was my turn.

His eyes sparkled when he turned his attention to me. I instantly had a feeling this was just the way he was naturally. Oh yeah, and I swear to God I’d never seen eyes that blue in my entire life. It genuinely stunned me.

“Hi!” he greeted me.

“Hi!” I responded, equally as thrilled. Tom admired the T-shirt I had brought and took note of my name on the piece of paper. I remember us joking together about the extremely lax security in and around S.T.A.R. Labs on the show, which prompted his message to me on the heather-grey cotton. He wrote my name, [followed by a heart!] and a very welcoming, ‘Come on by, just walk right in!’

I had official clearance from Harrison Wells himself.

I thanked him very much, leaving with my treasure folded over my arms. My friend and I walked towards the hall’s exit, and I couldn’t shake this feeling inside me. It felt strange—I couldn’t name it for the life of me. It felt like an odd fluttering with a simultaneous yet contradictory slightness of breath. My head was confused and would continue to be so for the rest of that weekend.

As I waited at my gate in the airport on that Sunday evening to head home, all I knew was that the moments at the con featuring Tom were the highlights of the weekend for me.

And that I was going to begin watching more of the other films and television shows he’d been in. What was the show the brave cosplaying woman had said ruined her expectations of men? Oh yeah, Ed.

Maybe I’ll start there…

***

Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad…

In my house, it’s never really Christmastime until Michael Bublé croons through the speakers of the wooden stereo system in the living room. It felt especially festive as it was now Christmas Eve—a month and some change since the con. It was late, possibly ten o’clock. I was lying on the floor in front of the Christmas tree with my trusty laptop, a word document open. I was writing three holiday-song short stories featuring the new muse in my life, Harrison Wells. I wanted to be able to post them the next day, so my fingers were taptaptapping away.

I had written a handful of things before 2017, most of which had been Marvel-related, under my second, ‘rebirth’ pen name online. I was a little fish among all the grand and fabulous writers on Archive of Our Own, and in many ways, I still feel like that little fish. I was only just learning and feeling out the psyche of the Wells characters. Each one is so different. In my rewatch of the previous seasons of The Flash, I’d taken diligent notes, and as I’d later learn with each following rewatch, I would know them all—what they think, how they talk and behave—like the back of my hand. It was fun to suss out these guys, and I found that I was growing to love the act of writing even more.

One month later, in January, I would post all the stories I’d written thus far on Tumblr. I’d just created an account and, who knows? Maybe I’d get a wider range of readers on here, too.

Might as well give it a shot, right?

***

Wild horses couldn’t keep me from attending Fan Expo Vancouver 2017, especially when the big news dropped. Not only would Tom Cavanagh be attending again, but so would Carlos Valdes, Danielle Panabaker, Candice Patton, and the convention-elusive star of the show himself, Grant Gustin.

Before the moderator for the Flash cast’s Q&A panel could utter the final thanks to the actors at the end of the session, I bounded from my seat and sped down to the photo op booth where the cast would be taking “Team Up” photos with fans. ‘Sped down’ has to be the most appropriate couple of words because I indeed felt like a true Speedster dressed head to toe as the small screen’s adaptation of Jesse Quick, the angsty and brilliant daughter to Harrison Wells turned superhero.

After waiting in a queue that felt like ages, I was next to stand with Team Flash. As I took a step forward, all of the actors’ and actresses’ eyes—the people I spend time with every Tuesday evening—were on me. I heard a familiar voice approve of my costume. It was Danielle.

“Tremendous.”

Grant even joked that he thought for a second Violett Beane, the actress who plays Jesse Quick, had shown up to surprise them. “I was like, what’s Violett doing here?” he said.

I stood in the back row, happily sandwiched between Tom and Carlos. I dared to let my hands rest on their backs, and I couldn’t contain my joy. Shortly after, when I received my near-instant physical photograph of the moment, I saw Tom had pointed at me. In my mind, it felt as if in his gesture, he meant, hey, look at this cool person. Haha. I couldn’t be further from it.

I would go on to further be uncool in public as I later found myself virtually shaking and almost hyperventilating in line for a one-on-one photo op with Tom. The guy dressed as Kid Flash behind me gave me a few encouragements of the “it’ll be okay” variety. As my turn finally arrived, the lovely man of the hour greeted me with a bright smile in recognition of my Reverse Flash T-shirt (I had done a quick change before this photo op because I had worn a Flash T-shirt for a photo with Grant).

“Great shirt!”

The internet comes up with many hilarious and fitting words, but none such so than the term “Cavanarms.” One of the said Cavanarms found its way around my shoulder in such a casual way. My hand rested on his back, and I have told anyone who will listen about how soft his sweater was. What was approximately a five-second interaction will stay with me forever. And to this day, I will always regret how I’m standing beside him in the picture—there’s a distinguishable gap between us. I could have been closer—should have been!—but I like to use the fact that I felt as if I’d combust into flames if I were any closer to the man.

Maybe I’d have another chance to combust later again that day because, believe it or not, this fan hadn’t had enough of seeing Mr. Cavanagh in person. And since he was appearing at the con for this day only, there was no way I was going to squander any opportunities. Besides, there was still one final thing left on my convention docket: the autograph. In my mind, going to get his autograph was an excuse to get to talk to him and simply be in his presence for longer than five seconds. Here, take my money. I’m a sucker, and I’m proud of it. I saved all year for this kind of thing, and Fan Expo has always been my ultimate nerdy Treat Yoself Day.

Plus, this year I came equipped with a question for Tom (something for which I may have prepared a little too far in advance).

“Which of your characters would win in a lawyering battle: Ed or Miles?”

Miles was Tom’s latest character from his newly released project Darrow & Darrow, a fellow lawyer as Ed Stevens (remember, the man who ruins women’s expectations of men?), whom he portrayed almost two decades prior. What I loved about Tom when I got to ask him this was that he was silent for a moment following the question. He was genuinely putting thought into my question. As he pondered, Tom continued to autograph the photo of us together taken mere hours ago.

“Ed. He would wipe the floor with that other guy. Like, Miles is great, but Ed has a rapier-sharp mind, you know?”

I wholeheartedly agreed with his answer and felt relieved inside for some reason. We thanked each other (as politely as two Canadians can) before I left him to pay attention to the next lucky soul in line. I made the mistake of casting my eyes downward at the signed photo.

Tom had signed two little hearts over the I’s in my name. He really needed to stop adding hearts to my things, or I was just going to melt to the floor. In fact, I started to make these strange noises as I tried not to completely maul everyone in front of me while exiting. My friend ushered me as fast as physically possible on our way out of the main hall. One man took one look at me and asked, “Are you okay?”

No.

“Yep!”

The second I made it out of the herd, I broke out into open space. First came the minor hyperventilating. Then came the squealing followed by laughter. Top it off with various fangirlish comments of, “He’s so beautiful!”, “His eyes are so blue!” and “I love him!” and I was probably quite the sight to see (but at a convention, that’s considered normal!). My friend smiled on as she let me express everything that I had to keep inside until I had the right time to expel my emotions. I was on cloud nine. Ten, if at all possible.

The next day would be the con’s final day, which I would attend alone. My friend needed to catch the ferry in order to prepare for her courses the day after. I did a scan of the convention hall one final time in case there was something I missed purchasing. Afterwards, I sat on the cold hard flooring of the convention centre hallway for a bit of a break. I was wiped out. With my phone in hand, I smiled at the messages from this one Tumblr blogger who had been following my posted adventures at the con. I had seen and replied to many of her comments on my stories I’d written thus far, and I enjoyed her matching enthusiasm for Tom and The Flash in general. I felt her to be a kindred spirit. I had no idea then that I was chatting with one of my future best friends, L.

***

I spotted her.

She was wearing an identical shirt to the one I had on—a light grey T-shirt with a sequinned Spider-Man mask in the corner, which around it read, We met on the Web. A giddy me couldn’t wait for the short escalator ride to end. Her back was to me and facing the baggage claim, so here was my chance to surprise her instead.

I towered over my friend, E, and donned a low, authoritative voice.

“Excuse me, Miss, can you come with me?”

She squealed a greeting to me and I returned it as we hugged for the very first time after two and a half years of online friendship. We would still have about two hours to kill until our mutual Tumblr best friend, L, touched down at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport from across the Pond.

Something I noticed was that E and I carried on talking during our wait like it was second nature, that we hung out like this all the time. Whereas when I met L in person for the first time the year previously, our first meeting was that of quiet, delighted shock, unknowing how to react to one another’s physical presence. It almost felt like a fantasy. The closest thing we’d ever gotten to this was visiting over video chats! I’m not sure what each of these different reactions in these separate meetings meant, but what I do know is that I’ve never had such strong female friendships such as these—so full of uplifting support and love for one another. They are the greatest ladies I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

And as a searching L eventually turned the corner to meet us in the Arrivals terminal, I caught sight of her Tom & Grant bandana tied around the handle to her carry-on bag. It was an item she had received in return for helping fund the short film produced in 2018 (I’d bought the ringtone). Seeing the accessory jolted me to remember that the former of the titular short was the reason for this long-awaited get-together holiday in the Windy City in the first place. Tom Cavanagh, unbeknownst to him, had just officially united three online friends, each from a different country, to spend six full days of in-person bonding and a whole lot of fun.

***

I should have been shelving books.

I should have been doing a lot of library-related tasks, but my head was elsewhere. Anywhere other than the small-town public library where I work. Instead, I sat on the carpeted floor of the Junior/Young Adult section with my phone in hand and a dreadful article title staring back at me.

“The Flash: Carlos Valdes and Tom Cavanagh to Exit after 7 Seasons.”

My world felt like it was falling apart.

Tom was leaving? There had been rumours and wonderings spreading around the fandom regarding whether he was leaving the show. With a storyline ending with a monumental sacrifice and a time-travelling man saying his farewells, it all seemed to point to the fact. I should have known… I could have rivalled Supergirl as being the Paragon of Hope after all the optimism I doled out to my followers and friends who would come to me worried Tom would exit the show. I would always give reasons to deny such a thing could happen, claiming that I’d believe when I saw it.

Well, there it was, and I definitely saw it.

One could feel the ripple effect over the internet of the shards of broken and riled-up hearts around the world.

Tom’s exit was on his terms, having not felt challenged by his character’s plotlines, as mentioned in a recent Entertainment Weekly article. As a viewer—and I am a viewer (Mike and Tom Eat Snacks, anyone?), it has been increasingly difficult to look past the missed shots made by story editors and showrunner, so understandably, the actor would want to seek something more exciting and meatier. That said, Tom has always shone on-screen and taken what he’s been given in stride. He turns unearthed material into diamonds and indeed shines on screen. Steals it, even! Tom easily makes the episodes he’s in better, and when he’s missing, you feel the loss. The few episodes of Season 7 without him only give us a tiny hint at how the show will be without him going forward. It much resembles when you might bring out your favourite jigsaw puzzle, only to find that the one piece you need to complete it isn’t there.

***

On a personal note, as I write this, I am roughly 20 followers away from reaching a milestone of 2,000. I have written well over 200 stories for The Flash alone (whether they be short or long, one-shots or chaptered), and goodness knows how many words I’ve generated altogether over the course of these many years with inspiration from the show and my favourite character. I’ve written and co-written novel-length stories, one monumental Wellsian story of which was done alongside L and E (almost solely done through alternating text messaging in the app, Line) that reached over 108,000 words and consisted of 42 chapters. And when I’m not writing for my blog, I’m also working on trying to accomplish my dream of becoming a published author. Just as I thought before I launched my Tumblr blog, I think again now: Might as well give it a shot, right?

***

I have watched virtually everything Tom has been in that I could get my hands on, both physically and electronically. Sure, a few titles are out of my reach and probably lost to the very early 90's forever, but from what I've seen through Tom's filmography is enough to know that he can do anything. He can play the romantic leading man that will make you fall head over heels for him or a deranged killer that will have you genuinely scared of him. That is talent. Tom always brings something new to the table from each role to the next, and (when he's not playing those psycho killers) you can't help but admire his craft.

Not only is his acting stellar, but from what we as fans have gathered on the man, Tom has got to be one of the kindest men in the business. His humour and sheer ridiculousness could get anyone through a tough time (we’ve seen plenty of bloopers and behind-the-scenes videos to prove this!). He has clearly bottled and stored an endless supply of Fountain of Youth™ and each year continues to wow us with his handsomeness. Tom is charming, dedicated, and yes, arguably holds the world record for Bluest Eyes.

In my eyes, Tom Cavanagh gave me the two best friends I could have ever asked for, as well as plenty more lovely friends I’ve continued to make online. (One day, I hope to meet him again so that I can tell him in person how because of him, I’ve met such very important people in my life). Through Tom, I have truly found my passion for writing, and in doing so, segued me to dare to dream of becoming a published novelist. I wholeheartedly believe all of this would not have happened if it weren’t for those first series of events that led me to meet Tom and love and admire him immensely. He is indisputable proof that there are indeed men like him out there. Indeed, he did ruin all of my future expectations of men. He ruined my life in the absolute best way and I am eternally grateful.

I am very much looking forward to what Tom will do next. I think it’s rather needless to say that I will follow him in his career, as he has gained a devoted fan for life. He represents so much to me and so much of it I have gained since meeting him that fateful day, when I thought to myself, Maybe I should buy this T-shirt and get this guy to sign it. Wherever Tom goes in life, I’ll be here to cheer him on.

I have a pretty good feeling plenty of others will, too.

#i don't exactly want to tag this with his name #but this is a personal essay of sorts regarding tom cavanagh's effect on my life #if you decide to read I hope you enjoy it!

[bisexualbuck]

My 911 Fic Writing Masterlist

(Last edited May 28th 2021)

I’ve finally decided to do a masterpost of all my writing for the show 911 which is the fandom I’ve written the most for. There are 33 fics in this post, holy crap.

(If anyone is interested, I’ve also written for Star Trek AOS, Leverage, the MCU, among many other fandoms.)

As a general note, I’ll say most of my fics have Buddie elements and I also try to have at least one Firefam moment. Also, please check each fic’s warnings.

This is going to be long so most of it will be under a read more.

Last thing, please! If you like any of these stories, please consider leaving a comment and reblogging this post.

Multi Chapter

Reaching In The Dark | 38.7k

It all started innocent enough but Buck can no longer deny it.

He has a stalker.

Someone so obsessed with him that they would spend hours and hours following him, unnoticed, taking pictures of him, taking notes of his habits.

But life has been so good lately, and Buck doesn’t want to worry anyone. So he tells no one about it, he can deal with it on his own.

Leave My Body | 23k

"Do you want to see how it could have been? You are so sure you've been a burden on everyone you've ever met, but I can show you the truth."

.

Buck dies but it's not the end.

(Inspired by the movie It's a Wonderful Life)

Encore | 20.1k

“I’m going insane.”

“Did something happen?”

A dark, bitter laugh bubbles out of Buck – a mockery of joy.

“Everything keeps happening, and it’s still the same fucking day. It’s always the same and every time it’s different and I can’t do anything.”

.

Or

Buck keeps reliving the same day, over and over again.

Hurt/Comfort

Death, Be Not Proud | 10.1k

There are moments barge loudly into your life and, even as you’re going through them, you know they will change everything.

There are other moments that happen quietly, unnoticed, and it’s only afterwards that you know, looking back, that they have changed your life.

When the 118 is called to a decrepit house, they don’t think much of it.

Yet this will change their lives forever.

Silent Storm | 4.4k

Buck wakes up in the hospital.

Except he can't move. He can't speak.

But he can hear everything.

Dying Of The Light | 4.1k

If Purgatory was a place on Earth, it would be a hospital waiting room.

Or

Buck is in a coma, brain-dead - or so that's what the doctors say anyway.

(Silent Storm told from the Firefam's POV)

No Kingdom To Come | 8k

Days pass, then weeks that soon turn into months. Buck doesn’t call, he doesn’t text.

They don’t even know if he is still alive.

Maddie files a missing person’s report. Athena checks for any mention of his name anywhere in the country.

Nothing pops up, no one calls.

Buck is gone.

The Courage To Heal | 1.4k

He remembers her perfume. Thick, flowery – it makes him retch.

Why does he remember her perfume? Every time he smells anything like it, he wants to throw up, he wants to rush in the shower and try to wash away the stink of it.

Why can’t he move on?

He’s had sex with countless people over the years, especially back in his Buck 1.0 days, so why does that encounter remain? Why does it make him sick?

Why does he feel so ashamed?

.

Buck opens up about Dr Wells, the therapist from season 1.

The Loneliness Never Left Me | 2k

“Buck is afraid he is gonna end up like Red, without friends, without family. He thinks the job is the only thing he’ll ever have and that he’ll always be alone.”

Silence falls around them, heavy and suffocating.

“We need to show him that he’s got us."

“Not show him,” Chim says. “Tell him.”

Forever Day | 2k

The man pulls a gun out.

He aims it at Buck’s head.

“If you take another step I will blast your brains on the ground."

Hollow | ~300

Bobby on the day of his late wife and kids’ deaths, with Athena by his side.

Those Days | ~600

A look into Eddie and Christopher having a bad day made better by having each other.

Little Hope | ~500

A moment of support between two friends, Karen and Eddie, as Hen lays unconscious in a hospital bed.

Firefam Feels

Alone Again | 1.2k

Post S04E04

After standing up for himself to his parents, Buck feels hollow.

He isn't sure how he finds himself at Athena and Bobby's home, but maybe that's exactly where he needs to be.

Make It Three | 3.2k

It takes him twenty full minutes to realize what he has said, and then it hits him like a goddamn freight train.

Oh no. Oh no.

Buck just hung up on the phone on Athena Grant telling her that he loved her like he’s been doing it every day of his life.

Oh no.

.

Or

Buck slips up and tells Athena he loves her. He has a bit of a freak out.

Words Unsaid | 2.2k

“What’s going on?” Bobby and Buck say in unison.

“You two,” Athena announces, “are going to talk things out.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Buck says, like a liar. “Everything is fine.”

.

Buck overhears Bobby say that he's not his kid. He doesn't take it very well.

Lay You Down | 2k

Buck is sick and can't be left alone in his feverish state, but everyone is working.

Everyone but Athena.

That Which We Carry | 2.1k

Bobby stops in his tracks.

Buck is sitting on the ground, next to his own car, his keys and phone forgotten next to him. His breathing is loud and short and he has his head in his hands so that his face is hidden.

He’s having a panic attack.

To Be Loved, To Belong | 3.1k

5 times Buck almost tells his family what they mean to him.

+1 time he does.

Buried | 2.3k

It’s supposed to be a simple call.

Of course, everything goes wrong.

Just As It Was | 2.3k

After the lawsuit, Buck overworks himself trying to prove his worth to the team.

One day, he pushes too far.

Sunlight | ~500

The Buckley siblings have a bet about what Maddie and Chim’s kid’s first word will be.

Family Matters | ~500

A look into the future at Bobby’s retirement party.

Humor & Fluff

Freedom In Love | 1.1k

“You can’t keep ignoring this,” Maddie says – again.

She says it a lot. His answer is pretty much always the same.

“Actually, I can. And I think I will. This is working great for me so far. It’s like Schrödinger’s confession, if I don’t say anything, Eddie can’t reject me.”

Green Heart | 3k

Buck starts seeing a man.

Eddie worries he is being a bigot, because the idea of Buck kissing another man makes him want to punch someone.

What else could it be?

The Most Perfect Moment | 1.7k

After Shannon, Eddie never thought that he would ever want to get married again.

Yet, a little red box lays in his pocket until the perfect moment to propose comes around.He has been carrying it for weeks now, waiting.

He wants his proposal to be perfect because he knows that this is the last time he will ever be asking this question. Buck is it for him. There will never be anyone else.

Blame It On Chimney | 1k

“So anyway, that’s how Chimney saw me full-on naked.”

Eddie chokes on his beer.

How It Looks | ~400

Someone is back to haunt Chim. Well, not exactly someone. Hen is tired.

The Rest Of Our Lives | ~500

One night, one conversation that changes everything between Buck and Eddie.

Tumblr Prompts

lover, be good to me | 7.1k

This is a collection of unrelated prompts first posted on my tumblr.

(Summary of each story in the first chapter's notes)

Eddie touching Buck’s birthmark | ~300

Eddie in a relationship is a clingy Eddie | ~200

Halloween at the station | ~500

Buck & Maddie being their cute selves |  ~400

Misc.

from the bottom i come running | 3.7k

Co-written with the endlessly talented ksmalltalk / @letitialewiss​

Crossover with Lone Star.

Just a soccer match for charity and two men cheering on their boyfriends.

Wait, no. Eddie and Buck are not dating, no matter what Chim and Hen can say.

Or

In the stands, Eddie befriends TK whose boyfriend is playing alongside Buck. Out on the pitch, Buck and Carlos are a force to be reckoned with.

Oh, and someone gets hurt.

safe inside | 5.6k

Co-written with the biggest-brained and most talented chasingobligion / @starlightbuck​

World-famous actor TK Strand and his bodyguard Carlos find themselves seeking shelter from fans and paparazzi in a bakery Carlos knows very well.

Or

Baking leads to a few life changes.

Breathe You In | 2k

Eddie can’t stop staring.

This selfie is going to be the death of him.Buck is shirtless, and giving the camera an intense look that leaves Eddie panting.

Or

Buck sends a picture that tips their relationship into something new.

#911 #911 fic #buddie #firefam #evan buckley #eddie diaz #my writing #this took me FOREVER #it's also about to kill my computer because tumblr is lagging so much so i'm just gonna post #if there is an issue with the links or something else please reach out to me thanks!! #and please reblog and comment if you like my writing!! #i might come out of fic writing hiatus at some point soonish #edited

[thelonewolf48]

Listen... I wrote this right after season 1 ended. I was so sad for not finding any posts in here about the series and I saved this piece for when I felt like posting it.And, finally, Tumblr is catching up!! And I feel like I must give you all this!

All grammar and punctuation errors are mine! Hope you like it!

-------

Mariana doesn't remember how she got to the hospital. Her brain didn't register beyond Ceci's words.

“They took mom to the hospital.”

She feels the phone slip from her hand, doesn't heart it hit the floor. Pablo approaches her, and everything becomes a blur. Flashes of reality are the only thing that moves Mariana. She grabs her purse, takes a cab, and tells the driver the hospital's name. Arrives at the reception and almost shouts 'Ana Servín' to the nurse.

Everything stops when the nurse asks her, 'are you a relative?'

A yes is ready in Mariana’s lips. But in this circumstance, is she a relative?

A friend?

After living for months at Ana's house. Caring for each other, the babies, and their families. After assuring Ana that neither the babies nor the children would be alone. That Mariana would be attentive and would take care of them as if they were her own.

After everything, they've been through. What were they?

Of course, love is there.

Mariana loves everything about Ana. From her controlling temperament to her obsession with appearances. It’s inevitable not to love someone like Ana. A successful and beautiful woman. Ready to give her everything for her family and job. Ana seems cold and snob, but once you get close and gain her trust, she gives her heart without second guesses.

In the end, Mariana suppresses the desire to say yes, we are family. The thought of lying crosses her mind. She could even say Ana was her mother. But that's not fair to Ana. Much less to her family. It's still not fair to anyone.

Once in the waiting room, she calls Ceci. Knowing how scared the girl must feel while trying to assure Ro that everything would be fine. Ceci's cries break Mariana's heart.

"Ceci. Ceci, I need you to calm down." Mariana wants to sound kind, but she also needs her calm. "Have you talked to your dad yet?"

“No,” Ceci’s voice cracks, “I thought of you when they were taking her away an-and…”

"I understand, Ceci." Mariana chokes back a sob, "but now I need you to be brave. For Ro, Regina, and Valentina. Alright?"

Ceci answers with a sound of affirmation, which sounds more like a sob.

"Call your dad. Tell him what happened and tell him I'm waiting for him here. They only allow her relatives in."

“But, you’re part of the family too.”

The sentence warms Mariana’s heart.

"I know. But our situation is hard to explain." Mariana wants to hug Ceci. "Talk to your dad. I'll wait here, and if anything happens, I'll call you. Don't worry. Your mom will be fine. Do you think Ana Servín is going to let them keep her in this place?”

The little giggle Ceci gives her soothes Mariana's anxiety a little. Yet, the worry won't pass until she sees and makes sure that Ana is okay. Until she talks to the doctor who treats her.

Juan Carlos arrives about an hour later, and Mariana doesn't know what to feel or say. He approaches her with fast and long steps. Mariana repeats what the nurses told her after she made a fuss at the front desk.

'Mrs. Servín is stable and out of danger.’

As Ana’s husband the nurses attend him immediately.

With a glance, he apologizes to Mariana before following a nurse.

While he is with Ana, Mariana ruins her nails with her teeth. She tries to distract herself. Calls Pablo and asks him to take Valentina to Ana's house. Asks him to stay with the children for a day. He replies that he already has Regina's bag ready and texted Elena about the incident. Sometimes Mariana forgets that Pablo is reliable.

Wonders if she should call Tere too.

Would that be inappropriate? She decides to send her a text. After all, Altagracia is with the kids, and Pablo would be there too. Her message is short and direct. Only to inform her mother that Regina and Pablo will be at Ana's house. That she and Juan Carlos are in the hospital because Ana had a little accident.

“She’s still asleep.” Juan Carlos sighs as he plops down next to Mariana. “The doctor said it was most likely stress. He asked me if she had been eating and sleeping well.” He rubs both hands over his face. “It's my fault.”

Mariana places her hand on Juan Carlos' shoulder as a sign of support and understanding. He gives her a sad smile.

“I’ll ask the nurse to let you in.” He holds her hand. “thank you for being here.”

He walks a few steps before turning around.

"She loves you, Mariana. She's just hurt." Mariana bites her lower lip. "If she didn't love you, she wouldn't have reacted the way she did." She tries to understand the meaning behind his words. He shoves his hands on his pants pockets.

"She needs you more than she could ever need me," he adds without looking up from the floor.

 Seeing Ana in the hospital bed feels familiar and strange at the same time.

Familiar because that's how they met. In a small hospital. Ana looking as elegant and powerful as always. And if not because her round stomach, Mariana wouldn't have known Ana was about to have a baby too.

Strange because, now, Ana looks older than she is. She looks as if she had aged ten years in few days. Dark circles under her eyes and pale skin. Her short hair unkempt.

That was the consequence of the lies three people in Ana's life kept from her.

‘It’s my fault.’ Juan Carlos words repeated in her head.

It was all their fault.

Taking Ana’s hand, Mariana leans and kisses the corner of Ana’s lips.

 Ana feels worse than she did when she accompanied Mariana to Elena’s gig. The day when her life started to go to hell.

That must be where she is now. Hell. Her punishment was to make her feel like this. It's a reasonable punishment, she thinks. Not only did she sleep with her ex-boyfriend, but she also had feelings. Feelings. For a woman much, much younger than herself.

For God’s sake!

The voice of her mother, berating her for all her mistakes, didn’t help at all.

That's when she noticed it, the weight in her right hand. Covering her eyes with her left hand. She tries to get used to the light, the dizziness, and the headache.

Once her focus on the wall didn’t make her feel sick, she turns to her right.

The machine monitoring her heart captures the exact moment when her heart skips a beat and quicken. Mariana is sitting next to her, her face propped up on the bed, one hand holding her own hand. Ana blames the painkillers for clouding her mind. For making the first coherent thought be how beautiful Mariana looked while sleeping. With a loose ponytail and bare face.

Ana moves a lock of hair away from Mariana’s face, her thumb moves of its own volition and caresses the girl’s cheek.

Tears fall like raindrops.

Ana missed Mariana.

 At first, Mariana thinks the little sobs are coming from Valentina. It takes her a whole minute to remember where she is and why. She sees Ana trying to suppress her crying.

"Ana." Mariana sits up. "Are you alright?" Her voice sounds hoarse, the product of waking up and the air cooling the room.

Ana tries to calm down, Mariana sees the pain and desperation in her eyes when she fails. Her crying increases when Mariana caress Ana's cheek. Ana pushes the hand away, tries to punch or slap Mariana in the shoulder and arm as hard and as many times as she can.

The entire floor hears their combined screams of 'I don't want to see you here' and 'Ana, calm down, please.' The screaming makes the nurses call security. And by the time they arrive, it seems like a tornado formed inside the room. Ana throws everything within her reach. Mariana tries to cover and avoid all the projectiles.

Everyone in the room rushes to help Ana when they see her body falling against the bed.

The security men leave the room, moments later, as Mariana apologizes.

"She needs to rest." The nurse emphasizes before leaving too. As if blaming Mariana, who can only reply with a guilty smile.

"I want you to leave too," Ana says as she massages her temples.

"Please, Ana." Mariana begs. "Someone has to stay with you."

Ana looks at her with so much anger that Mariana feels it pierce her soul.

"You already made me look terrible to the staff of this hospital." Ana's mouth tightens into a pout that indicates anger and indignation. "What more do you want? Your mother takes money from my husband, you live in my house for months. You even won my children's affection. Changed my life. What else do you want from me? Do you want my money too?"

"Don't be unfair, Ana. You proposed me to stay at your house until Valentina stopped breastfeeding." Mariana approaches the bed with a firm step.

Both women look at each other, challenging the other, as they have always done since they met.

"I love you, Ana," Mariana whispers after a while, averting her gaze.

"Please." Ana snorts.

It's the frustration that drives Mariana to lean into Ana's personal space. To press their lips together. She finds resistance, and Ana struggles, trying to push Mariana away. But Mariana continues kissing Ana. And when she nibbles the edge of Ana's lower lip, Ana stops struggling.

Cradling Ana’s face the kiss turns desperate.

Wild.

Mariana wants to convey all her love and admiration for Ana with each kiss. With each nibble, she wants to promise Ana that she would never make the same mistake.

“Ana.” Mariana sighs between kisses.

Once the desperation passes, the kisses slow down until they're little peaks. Both know that they would have time to talk about how their feelings change everything. Mariana knows this is the right time to give some explanations – while Ana is silent, for once.

 When Mariana starts to walk from one side of the room to the other, Ana's brain shuts down for a moment. She dedicates herself only to look at Mariana. Regina and Valentina's mother. To remember all the moments they spent together. Their fights, their talks. The times Mariana made her understand that one couldn't control life sometimes. To live in the moment. No rules, no pretensions.

Mariana cries while trying to explain her side of the story.

"Ana," Mariana takes her hand and kisses it, "please. Forgive me." She presses their foreheads together and squeezes Ana's hand.

The weight she felt on her chest disappears. Ana feels whole again.

In control.

"I already did." She sighs. "I can't live without you anymore." Ana chuckles.

In those lonely days, Ana realized that the anger passed from Juan Carlos to Tere and, finally, to Mariana. It was then that the anger turned into sadness and then regret. She regretted not having Mariana and Valentina by her side.

The disappointment when Mariana confessed knowing everything and didn't tell her was still there. But to a lesser extent. Ana knew it was not going to be easy. Ana was not one of those people who forgave fast. She knew that.

But for Mariana, she would push that part of herself and try.

"I love you too, Mariana."

 The sound of Marian’s phone interrupts the comfortable silence they created.

"It's Ceci."

Ana snatches the device. Talks to her daughter, instructing her to pack a bag with a few clothes, her phone and tablet. And when she finishes, she dials Cynthia's phone next. It makes Mariana roll her eyes. Of course, Ana acts like she owns the phone.

“You do know we still need to have a very serious conversation, right?”

Mariana smiles and nods. “Later,” Mariana holds Ana’s hand again, “right now you need to recover.”

Ana smiles.

They will talk. Scream at each other.

But Mariana trusts they will find a way to move on.

After all, Regina and Valentina need both their mothers.

#madre solo hay dos #daughter from another mother #Don't worry guys #Ana was just very tired and fainted #Do we have a ship name already? #I mean... it could be AnaMari or MariAna... #Or whatever #Let me know #and i hope you like it! #one-shot #TheLoneWolf48 writes

[nobody-knose--archive]

i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

#lemon demon #spirit phone #pretty sure this is my first bit of spirit phone content on my blog. hi greater lem dem fandom nice to see y'all. go listen to deporitaz #loolin liveblogs #i enjoyed this less for the content the commentary contained & more for the way i handled it. more pleasant than some times ive had #tis i #i havent listened to spirit phone in general in ages. i know why. so this was nice #to the world and back again

[tarlosprompts]

such a lonely heart

Prompt: “But, I have been very unhappy since you left. I just want to know what I can do to bring you home.”TK to Carlos

claimed by vic. 

I’m sorry I didn’t answer to your ask nonnie, but, tumblr isn’t letting me. I really wish I did justice to your prompt! I hope you guys enjoy is as much as I enjoyed writting it! 

(Inspired by this post)

read on ao3

TK and Carlos had an… interesting relationship, to say so. If anyone asked them about the other, they could answer that it was the best two years of their lives, with a nostalgic smile forming on their face.

They had the kind of relationship anyone wanted.

They cared for each other. Everytime one of them wanted to speak about something that was eating them alive, was trapping them inside their minds, the other could listen without second thoughts, whatever their day had turned into. They could guide and advice them if they wanted to, or they could just be there holding them (the physical touch was way important than actual words), reassuring them they would support them until the end of the line. If one of them was injured by the job, after being anxious all day until they see with their own eyes that their loved one was indeed okay, the other could take care of them, 'heal their wounds', treat them like their life was depending on it. Because, according to them, that is love.

They needed each other. Every time they could work on the same call, they could steal a small kiss or a quick hug from one another. After a lond day at work, the other could wait for them with open arms, a warm and intimately atmosphere surrounding the house. They had a home to come back to, a specific person to come back to. Because, according to them, that is love.

It was those moments. The small kisses they were stealing, the little hugs they were sharing. TK putting his forehead on top of Carlos' shoulder every time they interacted. Carlos putting a hand on top of TK's waste, holding him steady. The way their feet tangled once they went to bed. The "behind the back" hugs, touching their forehead on the others back, that made each other's heart run miles of marathons. Touching their foreheads when the other cried, either due to a hard day they had at work, or because they just needed to cry their heart out. Brushing their lips together, smiling teasingly before the actual kiss.

Saying the first 'I love you's' did take them a lot time. TK was scared of loosing him after he came across his own feelings, Carlos was afraid he might was pushing to far. So, they maybe hadn't said the words with ease, they were showing it with every move and touch they shared together.

However, according to most people, all good things must come to an end.

"I don't think I can do this anymore Carlos."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's just, our lack of work, the way I always have to worry if you'll ever come back, you worrying about me if I ever come back… it's too much for me right now!"

Carlos' gaze was blank and TK cursed the time and place Carlos had learned to hold back his face and body expressions because he really needed to know what the other man was thinking, "So what are you suggesting?"

"I think we should call it quits."

And then, just like that, TK was out of Carlos' life and Carlos was out of his.

The first two months had not been easy. TK was feeling many emotions at the same time, overwhelmed, but, he knew he could move on from this. He did in once the past, he could do it again. Although, Carlos was not Alex. Carlos was a unique kind of person. He was under TK's skin, a part from his heart, his own soul, was, and always will be with him. TK knew, he understood, that, which made the whole 'getting over Carlos' operation much more harder than he wanted to. Sometimes he even wondered why he ended thing, other times he caught himself ready to either text the man back or even call him, just to make sure if he was okay. He still cared about him, still kept wondering if Carlos had made it hope safely. I he was okay after a difficult call. Because that is love, and he knew it.

Months passed by, it became easier and easier for TK. He even went on calls without anxiety eating him alive, praying to whoever was listening to, not land on Carlos while he was there. Now the two men we very profesional with each other everytime they met, not letting a single feeling get in their way of doing their job right. That, for TK, was a big win.

TK knew what he was doing. He knew how to lock his feelings away, how to look away, where to yell, scream, punch. He was used to it, by now. He knew how to control or where to direct his emotions. However, what he heard next, still, caught him on guard.

"I though you and Carlos had broken up?!"

"He have, Mateo.", his tone was steady. He did not want to show his confusion on why did probie brought up one of the few things that used to make him still want to wake up to see the light of the sun the next morning, or how hard his heart was pounding now. He and Mateo were tasked to go and grab some supplies from the store that Paul needed to finish tonight's dinner. "Why are you asking?"

"Oh, nothing serious, I just happen to meet Carlos the other day and he was wearing on of our old AFD hoodies. You know, the black one with the hood? The first one we got when we were first recruited by your dad."

And that's when TK lost it, nearly dropping the things he was currently holding inside his hands.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yes Mateo everything's fine. Let's pay end get out of here."

The ride back to the station was quiet. TK kept his gaze on the road, not flinching once, while Mateo kept glaring at him occasionally. TK knew Mateo wanted to ask, he wanted to know, but, TK was beyond glad he did not bring the topic back into the light because, at this moment, he did not know how he would've react in the mention of Carlos. Even thinking his name gave him the chills.

000

It was past midnight. TK's mind was running marathons. He could not sleep. All he could think about was the conversation he had earlier with Mateo. All old feelings coming back with such a rush. As if they never left. Correction, they actually never left.

He was now sitting on his bed, his legs crossed, staring at his phone for the past fifteen minutes, debating if he should or should not. "fuck it", with a small sign he pressed Carlos' name and waited for the other man to pick up. The second he was about to give up-

"Hello?"

TK kept staring blankly sometimes at the wall across him sometimes at his own phone. He had not heard his voice, talking like this, without any trace of professionalism, for so long. He missed it.

"TK?"

TK cleaned his throat before speaking, "oh yeah, Carlos, hi. I'm sorry for calling you this late!", his voice yay more pitched and high than he wanted it to be, "it's late, again I'm sorry, I'll just hang up-"

"It's alright, I was not sleeping anyways."

Silence.

"TK? Are you still there?"

"Oh, yeah, yes! I know it might sound odd but, can we meet at the park in a bit?" he sounded so pathetic he wanted to punch himself in the face.

"Um, yeah sure?! See you in a bit."

After hanging up, TK let a sigh, feeling like the biggest weight had left his own body. Before he got up and started putting clothes on him, he stayed a few seconds laying on his bed, watching his dark sealing like a piece of art, his breathing steady.

000

When he asked Carlos to meet him in the park, he did not know the reason why. He did not believe the man could agree meeting him in the middle of the night, after being apart from each other, this long. He just wanted to see him. He just missed him.

"So…", Carlos was now staring at him. The two men were sitting on a wooden bench, silently watching the black sky, that was somethings changing colours due to the small light the stars were giving. It was a peaceful night. Not many cars where on the road. A small lamp was shining, making the darkness look a little less scary. Just a little. The world was sleeping and yet, TK was there, in the middle of the night, right next to the love of his life. If he could still call him that.

"I think it's time for me to go-"

"I miss you Carlos", he could not hold it back now, "I miss you so damn much. I thought by pushing you away, I could protect you from being hurt if anything happened to me. I though that if I pushed you away, I could protect myself from hurting. I thought I could move forward but, I have been very unhappy since you left. I just want to know what I can do to bring you back home. I need you Carlos! I've been dealing with all these emotions, trying desperately to hold them back, to avoid them. You mean so much to me Carlos. You're under my skin, the fuck can I do?"

Both men were crying. Carlos kept watching him, not saying a word, just, being silent. TK could not deal with it, "talk to me, please! Say something, yell at me!"

“We can’t keep doing this. It’s one way or the other. I love you to damn much but, if we’re going to do this thing, if we're going to try this again, it’s either all in or all out. I’m not going to just keep dangling for you.”

“It’s not that easy, I know...I love you too, and I want to be together. I want you more than anyone I’ve ever been with before.”. Not waiting for an answer and, without hesitation TK grabbed Carlos, bringing him for a watery kiss, not wanting to waste any more time. Carlos places his hands on his waste, bringing him close, deepening the kiss. Both tried to be as close as possible, tried to make up the time that was already missed.

"Just so you know, I know you've been wearing my AFD hoodie the months we were together." TK attempt to light things a little did not went the way he though, but, he was not complaining.

"In my defence, it was the only thing I had left from you. I did not know that to expect. It was my shield of armor. As you said, you're under my skin man, the fuck can I do?"

#prompt fill #by vic #tarlos prompts #tarlos relationship #tarlos #tk strand x carlos reyes #tk x carlos

[irradiated-izzy-90]

Tagged by @primswan thank you so much for the tag 🥰

Name/Nickname: I have so many, which are: Izzy, Jinx, Starfire, Sailor Mars, Honey Lemon, Momo Yaoyorozu, Harley Quinn, Supergirl, Nebula

Gender: Female (she/her)

Height: 5'58 ft (1.70 mts)

Time: 6:16/18:16 PM

Favorite Bands: ZHIEND, Girls Dead Monster, How Low Hello, EXID, Maroon 5, Hex Girls, Mystik Spiral, Fifth Harmony, SWEET BULLET, Carole and Tuesday, D-Selections, ClariS, Little Glee Monster

Favorite Solo Artists: LiSA, Dua Lipa, Camila Cabello, ASCA, ReoNa, Eir Aoi, Angela Carpenter, Flora, Sumika, RADWIMPS, Mayasuki Suzuki, Sam Smith, Shawn Mendes, Carlos Rivera, Sebastian Yatra, Aimer, Katy Perry, Halsey, Naya Rivera, Ellie Goulding, Zara Larsson, Minori Chihara, Sia, Sigala, Sabrina Carpenter, Sofia Carson, Melanie Martinez, Ricky Martin, Hailee Steinfeld, Olivia Olson, D-Selections

Song Stuck in my Head: Still Into You- Paramore, Endless and The Tower-Carole and Tuesday

Last Movie You Watched: Mean Girls

Last Show: The Day I Became a God

When I Create this Blog: I think it was in 2017 or 2018

What do I post: I normally post edits when it is the birthday of one of my waifus and I explain how that waifu change my life

Last Thing I Googled: SWEET BULLET, because I never write correctly the name of Nodoka Tohoyama idol band and I just checked if it was correct

Other Blogs; I have my own Blogger and I write about the animes I see, I have my tumblr and I share edits, I write on my Instagram stories about LiSA and animes

Why I Choose my URL: Well, it all started when Suicide Squad was almost out and I play a game in which you create you own logo and it also gave you a name and the game gave me the name of Irradiated Izzy and since then I start using this name to every social media I have and I only add the 90, because I always had a connection with that number

Following: 26

Followers: 29

Average Hours of Sleep: 7-8 hours, well I have a really messed up sleeping schedule, beacuse I have trouble sleeping and I always sleep 30 minutes or one hour late or I see what is in the different social media and sleep late and also I have to wake up early for school

Instruments: I used to play the flute in middle school and I know the basics to play the guitar

What am I wearing: My Pijamas

Dream Job: Film Director, DJ, Idol, Superhero, Reporter, Actress or Botany

Dream Trip: Japan or Canada

Favorite Food: Chocolate

Nationality: Mexican

Favorite Song: Wagamama Cait Sith, Aijo, Prisoner

Do I Get Asks: No, I don't ask questions and they don't ask me

Last book I read: The Perks of being a Wallflower

Top Three Fictional Universes I'd like to live in: Fairy Tail, Marvel and SAO

Tagging: @frikiguardian @danytheknight

[purplesurveys]

1032

survey by danceamydance

Have you ever witnessed a birth? Never have. I wasn’t present when my mom gave birth to my younger siblings and other than that there’s been no reason for me to be around for the birth of my other younger relatives.

What pattern does the closest tissue box have? I don’t have one in my room, but the one in our bathroom is brown. I think. I never actually checked even though I use it everyday lol.

Where did you lose your virginity, if you have? I truthfully didn’t really keep note of what counts as the first time because we had already been fooling around quite a bit. I’d guess either a hotel room or my room, or maybe hers. The one thing I can remember was that I was 18, so there’s that.

What color car(s) do your parents drive? We have two white cars and one teal. I still don’t know why my dad got a teal car when none of us in the family are into colored cars, but according to him getting the Vitara in white would’ve looked like an FX (a form of public transport here), so I’ve learned to make my peace with the teal car lol.

What are your views on getting rid of the penny? I can’t relate, because we don’t use pennies.

Which Asian country would you most like to visit? Aside from the ones I’ve already gone to, I’d love to take a trip to Thailand, Vietnam, Sri Lanka, and India.

Have you ever had a nosebleed? Nope. I fear the day I get one; I’m scared of blood haha.

How far away do you live from your birthplace? Maybe around 30 minutes without any traffic. A realistic drive to Manila would take me anywhere between 1 to 1.5 hours.

Do you have bangs? Yep, and they’re starting to get pretty long as well so thanks for reminding me that I’ll have to trim them soon. I want to get rid of them already as I’ve had my fun with them, but NO ONE HAS SEEN ME WITH BANGS loooool so they are still staying. 

Are you a good driver? I wanna say I’ve been better through the years? Hahaha the consensus is that I drive a little crazy, but my friends still always pick me to drive them whenever we go somewhere because everyone apparently still finds me the safest driver to ride with despite my temper on the road. Having a tiny car, being bullied by bigger pickup trucks and SUV through the years has helped toughen me up.

Have you ever kissed someone underneath the mistletoe? No. My ex and I always celebrated Christmas separately, with our own families, so we never got the chance to do this.

Do you watch the Olympics on the television? No. It’s not really something that interests me.

What was the scariest experience of your life? The time I nearly crashed into a car that I didn’t realize was stopped in the middle of the road while I was going 80 kph, and having like 3 seconds to hit the brakes.

Do you have a Tumblr account? I mean...

Are your nails painted right now? What color? Nope.

Have you ever played truth or dare? Several times, though I always pick truth because I’ve never had a problem saying it. I also hate picking dares because my friends would usually make us do dumb things, like dance, or worse, make out with someone in the circle.

How long is your driveway? Not very.

Are there any tv shows you keep up with religiously? Mmm it used to be The Crown, but I probably won’t be watching it for a while despite the new season because 1) I used to watch it when my past relationship had still been smooth-sailing, so watching it would just remind me of that; and 2) Gabie loves the shit out of Gillian Anderson and she was brought in for season 4 lol. 

Right now my focus is on a new Korean drama called Start-Up, which is currently ongoing and is so fucking good. Nam Joo Hyuk is also there, so it’s a sweet bonus for me <3

What is your favorite iPhone app? I’m using YouTube the most these days, so it may as well be my favorite.

Where is your mother right now? She’s at work.

Do you know anybody named Carl? I don’t think so. The only person that came to mind is an uncle named Carlo who I haven’t seen in more than a decade. My dad’s college group used to be super tight-knit and I used to be friends with his friends’ kids, so it’s sad to see them kinda grow apart and notice the others be more reclusive over the years.

Are you more of a night owl or a morning person? Morning person. Ugh, work is changing me as a person haha.

What is your favorite song at the moment? Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House has taken the top spot again. It’s just too goddamn good of a song.

Do you have a weak stomach? Very. I’m awful with car rides, bungee jumping, fair rides, you name it.

Have you ever been to a party where people were drinking underage? Hmm, yes. Kaira’s 18th birthday – it was held in May but most of the people at her party weren’t going to turn 18 until the end of the year, so it was a lot of 16 and 17 year olds drinking. I had just turned 18 then, so I allowed myself to take my first sip of a margarita.

How many stores are in the mall closest to you? Malls here are generally packed compared to what people may have in the US or other countries, so even though our local mall isn’t anything notable, it still holds 200+ stores.

Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? Yes, but they’re all outside of family. My mom’s side is very weird about cancer and never share information about family members who may have it and only ever refer to it as ‘the c word,’ so I may have more relatives who have cancer than what is made known to us.

How far away is the closest McDonald’s to you? We have one literally right beside the main entrance of our village but because our house is at the very end of the village, what should be just a couple of steps away is instead a 10-minute drive for me.

Would you ever meet someone in person that you met online? Yeah I’ve done that with a few people in the wrestling circle. Jila I met unexpectedly while we were both in line for the WWE house show in Manila in 2016; Javi I met when I lent him my Chris Jericho memoir; and Rafie was the one who gave me a free ticket to said WWE show. Rafie’s a local celebrity now and he has such a huge following, so as weird as it is I’m also glad I have that little memory with him before he blew up.

What was the last film you watched? That Thing Called Tadhana, but I was unable to finish it. I’m into TV shows these days and I’ve been all over Start-Up.

Does it snow where you live? Never has.

Have you ever been to an art gallery? Of course, I’m a sucker for those. I always go to one whenever I can; there are a lot of malls here that’ll randomly have pop-up art exhibits, so art galleries here actually aren’t limited to just museums.

What are your neighbours like? A lot of them have kids, that much I know because a lot of them play outside in the afternoon and make some noise. We all keep to each other, though, so I don’t know any more about them; the only time we get together is when the neighborhood organizes its own Christmas party for the community.

Do you visit your town’s library often? I would if we have one, but public libraries are not a thing here. If you needed to go to a library to find a book, you would have to go to a university.

Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? This just gave me college flashbacks haha. Of course I have, and the most notable people for me are JM, Andrew, and Angela.

What flavor was the last ice cream you ate? It’s a red bean ice cream sandwich that also has a bit of vanilla ice cream in it.

Can you do a cartwheel? No but I definitely tried a thousand times as a kid.

Who is the last person you spoke to on the phone? Can I do video calls instead? I haven’t done phone calls in a while. The last people I was on a call with were Ysa and Bea.

^ What did you talk about? Secret work stuff.

Which website do you spend the most time on? YouTube, Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter.

Have you ever kissed someone of a different race? I haven’t.

What can you smell right now? My coffee chocolate chip cookie.

Do you read fanfiction? If so, what fandoms? I haven’t checked on my favorite authors since college, mostly because they went MIA at some point and moved on to different fandoms as well. But when I did, I mostly read ones for AJ/Punk and HHH/Steph.

What accent is your favorite? Man this question is asked a lot...

How did/will you celebrate your birthday this year? Gab gave me a cute digital present, I think I may have spent the whole day playing the Switch, and Hans and Angela sent over a box of sushi for me.

Are you more introverted or extroverted? I’m both depending on the people I’m with. If I’m with a crowd I don’t know all that much, I turn my volume down.

Do you tend to repeat yourself all the time? Yeah. I got it from my mom, who unconsciously repeats stories all the time.

How was the last chicken you ate cooked? Fried.

Is there anybody you always find yourself thinking about? Yes, but it has gotten easier to manage/ignore altogether these days.

What was your last argument about? Haven’t argued with anyone in a hot minute. It was probably my mom as always, but I no longer remember what it could have been about.

Are/were you part of any extracurricular activities in school? I had clubs in high school since it was mandatory. In college, I was in yearbook and a journalism org.

Do you want to get married someday? I don’t know about that anymore.

What colors are on your country’s national flag? Blue, red, yellow, and white.

Would you go back to your ex if he/she asked you? I’m pretty stupid when it comes to this, so yes.

#survey #surveys

[eviesmyspiritanimal]

Salty Questions List

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

I do not understand why people like Devie. Nothing against the people that do like it, but I am most certainly not a Devie lover at all. Like in D1, he’s stalking my baby Evie and in D2, he’s accusing her of cheating on him. Like really. Anyone that knows Evie even a little bit would certainly be fully aware that she would never cheat on anyone ever. She’s too sweet.

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

Definitely. Jaylos (Jay x Carlos), Malvie or Mevie (Mal x Evie), Marlos (Mal x Carlos), Jayvie (Jay x Evie), Jal (Jay x Mal), Umvie (Uma x Evie), Umal (Uma x Mal), and Jil (Jay x Gil) just to name a few.

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

Not as of yet, but it could happen. Idk.

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

Once again, let me just reiterate my hatred for Devie. They are relatively popular I believe (unless you count the folks that make Evie a lesbian), but I just don’t like it. At all.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

Yes. I used to like Bal, but after several people seemed to be absolutely unwilling to accept anybody else to ship Ben with, it’s really kind of lost favor with me.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*

Yes. Thanks to several very talented writers across several fanfiction websites, I have fell in love with Jay x Audrey or Jaudrey. It’s warring for main OTP status with Huma.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?*

Jonnie or Jay and Lonnie. I used to like that, but that was before I became familiar with Jaudrey and read some awesome stuff about that, and before Audrey became a sweetie in D3.

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?*

Nothing on this website, but on other websites, I’ve received some bad reviews or comments from guests. Usually, it’s criticism about old stories that I wrote a hundred years ago.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

Doug because he’s a stalker and a false accuser of my angel Evie. Lonnie because she’s very forced and shouldn’t have had such a great role in D2 only to be totally thrown out in D3. Chad because he’s a jerk and mean to my Evie. 

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Evie’s. With each movie, they take away a piece of her personality. By D3, she’s a total moron only existing because they created her in the first movie and she has to boost Uma’s importance by being a complete idiot. Evie and Uma deserved better.

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I don’t know if there’s exactly an unpopular character that I like that the fandom doesn’t, but some people on some websites seem to have a serious aversion to Uma, and I don’t really understand why. I love Uma dearly because she is secretly just the sweetest softie captain I’ve ever seen. 

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I don’t really think there’s any unpopular arc that I like that the fandom doesn’t. I’m mostly good with all of the arcs except Evie’s. 

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

Evie is capable of having an attitude. She has an ego and it needs stroking, but it is very much present.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

I don’t think I have one. I mostly stay in my happy little Descendants place where I write requests and the stuff that comes from my own head, so I don’t have too much interaction with the whole fandom.

15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

Wicked World was kind of goofy, and I wish that they would have actually used the real actors and actresses dressed up instead of the crappy animation. 

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

They’d all be real people and not cartoons.

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

I would have had Evie, Jay, and Carlos take a more active role in D3, and they would have been involved in the final showdown with Audrey. 

18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

Heck, no. You like what you like, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

I’m not really sure. I don’t hate much about the fandom, but maybe it’s just how a lot of people automatically like Evie and Mal as being in a romantic relationship. They are very close best friends and sisters, but not girlfriends.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Jane and Carlos or Jarlos, undoubtedly. Those two are total babies, and so adorable together.

21. What are your thoughts on crack ships?

I think they are very interesting. It sometimes fascinates me how people think of this stuff, but I greatly encourage the creativity. It makes me think of the characters in a different way.

22. Popular character you hate?

Doug. I immensely dislike Doug.

23. Unpopular character you love?

Celia. Most certainly Celia because she is so hilarious. I’ve been thinking of writing a oneshot for her, but we’ll see what happens. I’ve got several fanfics on my plate at this moment.

24. Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?

Would definitely recommend Descendants. It is a fantastical world filled with love and lessons, and it is an excellent place to run away to. Especially in these difficult times.

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

The Core Four would not have been running back to their abusive parents if I had my say. They’ve been spending so much time getting away from them and developing without them that the kids shouldn’t be going back to those rude and mean old villains.

26. Most shippable character?

Evie is most certainly the most shippable character in Descendants. She is so easily compatible with so many people that it’s just not even funny.

27. Least shippable character?

Chad because he’s a jerk and a total idiot moron brain. End of story.

Please don’t take any of this personally. These are just my opinions, and I’m not attacking anyone for their, so please don’t attack me for mine. You guys run free with your imaginations for your ships. :)

Also, I can’t remember where I got this list from, lol, but it’s floating around here on Tumblr. Look at some Descendants blogs. If anyone knows where it came from, be sure to comment and tell me.💙

#jaudrey #huma #descendants #D3 #D2 #descendants 3 #evie #mal #jay #carlos #uma #harry hook #harry #gil #audrey #chad #doug #anti-doug #anti doug #bal #descendants 2 #Post D3 #opinions #descendants opinions #unpopular opinions #peace #feelings #feel #thought #thoughts

[vintage-morning-wine]

love you @churchthecatismyspiritanimal 💝

nickname : kitty (or some nicknames related to my real romanian name), also cindy for the internet

zodiac sign : sagittarius child

height : I'm gonna act like no one asked this and completely ignore the fact that I'm shorter than my 11 years old sister.

hogwarts house : pottermore says slytherin and I'm inclined to believe (hehe)

the last thing I googled : 'wicked gentlemen book' yep (seems like a good read, check it out)

song stuck in my head : O.K. Fine by Clover the Girl

number of followers : 58, but I don't really care about it because I'm not posting any original content, I don't even know where all these people came from. the single reason this account exists is so that I could search tags on my fandoms when I was in eighth grade and I got lost along the way and now I'm in too deep and-

hours of sleep : who knows at this point? is summer, it has its own schedule that mere mortals do not understand

dream job : lawyer and scriptwriter and fiction writer (yes, all of them)

wearing : baggy blue shirt, my starry pajama pants and my soft purple socks (do my glasses count?)

favourite song : right now is Messiah by Klingande (but it changes A Lot)

favourite instrument : I love piano, violin and drums

aesthetic : I keep thinking it's dark academia (at least the mindset) but I'm facing some decisions lately and I think I have to accept that I'm mostly soft and chaotic academia with a side of dark academia

favourite author : Carlos Ruiz Zafón and Deborah Harkness

favourite animals : i dunno honestly. I keep learning about more animals every day. I think right now is the sunbittern bird

random : I have a list in my phone's notes full of names, from writers to poets to scriptwriters to compositors to painters to actors and even some film directors and stand-up comedians; I keep adding names in there every time I see a cool quote on tumblr or I hear about someone on youtube. I don't even know who most of them are, but I've got their names and I plan to research their whole lives one day using only google.

random 2 (because yes)  : I want to do so many things in life and I'm sometimes forced to face the fact that most probably I won't have time for all OR I will die before the age of 20; there's no in between

I added the second 'random', please ignore

tagging @jon-the-rat @gabspaxe @brotherlipsmackariahs @simon-lewis-is-a-skinny-legend @booksandbeanbags

[noelacciari]

alright this is kinda bad but I'm gonna ask anyway. so I'm a new/casual hockey fan and this girl I'm friends w is super into hockey and I'm kinda having to bluff my way through convos rn so could you give me a basic summary of the roster and stuff pls :)))

okay babe, so this is how we’re gonna set this up for you… personality quiz style. (also wait I’m assuming you mean Bruins so. im very sorry if this was about another team lol)

Step 1: pick your star

- Do you strive for perfection? Do you look for stability in a relationship? Can you appreciate a good beard? Do you need a perfect man to project all your feelings regarding men onto and then you never have to even look at another man in real life? Then Patrice Bergeron is the guy for you. He’s perfect. Like legit. Has been nominated for the Selke Award (best defensive forward) approximately a gazillion times, eventually they’re going to change it to The Bergy. Gorgeous play maker, dominate on the face-off circle. Quiet leader in the room. A pillar of the Boston community. The only person who can tame Marchand (we’ll get to him later). Every person in New England is AT LEAST 30% in love with him, regardless of sexual orientation. (I’m not even kidding). Future Hall of Famer. Without a doubt. (Forward (Center), #37, first line)

- Do you enjoy carbs? How about charming smiles? Do you enjoy men who toe the lines of fashion? Do you like a show, flashy lights and stunning tricks? Do you like people who make you smile, no matter how bad your day is? Then David Pastrnak is your man. Better know as Pasta (said with a deep Boston accent), he’s been tearing up the ice from the moment he arrived in TD Garden. A member of the Best Top Line in the League (alongside Bergeron - and that other guy who we will get to later). His goals are always absolutely nasty, just. Sexy, sexy hockey. Off the ice he’s sunshine personified, known for his chipped tooth smile, wearing checked suits and floral shirt, and just being generally the best. (Forward (winger), #88, first line)

- Are human sized chipmunks something you think would be pretty cool? How do you feel about Long Island? Would you think it’s funny if a guy who was a star player on a Boston team dated the daughter of a Pittsburgh coach? Do you think it’s even funnier if a guy who tweeted “I hate the Bruins” then proceeds to get drafted by them? Then Charlie McAvoy is your star d-man. At the ripe old age of 21, Long Island native Charlie McAvoy already carries a huge chunk of responsibility on the Bruins defense core. A future leader for the team (captain. imo), Charlie puts up incredible minutes, and is the perfect complement to his d-partner Zdeno Chara (we’ll get to him too). Also known as Cheeks (on tumblr) or Mac (by his teammates), Charlie isn’t afraid to throw his weight around on the ice, and he looks good doing it. Dude is a Bonafide Stallion. (Defense, #73, 1st Pair)

Step 2: Pick your Dad

- Are you vegetarian? How do you feel about EXTREMELY tall men wearing easter bunny onesies? Do you prefer to bike to work instead of taking the train? what about pigeons? If you consider pigeons friends, then Zdeno Chara is your new dad! (Boogie Woogie Woogie). You know how Bruins fans like to say - Don’t Poke The Bear? Well Big Zee is that hypothetical bear. Our beloved captain and father earned himself quite the reputation on the ice, known for his hard AF slap shots and even harder punches. Clocking in at 6′9″ and 250lbs, Zad is still a beast at 42 years old - and he apparently has no plans to retire. While his age doesn’t appear to be slowing him down on the ice, Zee has shown his softer side off the ice with his inspirational and extremely cute Instagram. He came into Boston in 2006 and was named Captain upon signing, and has forever changed the culture of the Boston Bruins. Chara facilitates an inclusive but hard working locker room, and his legacy will live on in Boston long after his retirement. (Defense, #33, first pair)

- Are you a dog person? Also are you American? Those are really the only 2 qualifications you need to chose David Backes as your dad. Although some of us older folks like me (at the stunningly old, reaching retirement age of 26) might consider Backes to be more of a daddy, the majority of Bruins tumblr view him as their Dad. Common nicknames include Dadkes and Papa, and his effect on the team after being brought back into the line-up during the playoffs has endeared him to fans. While his deal is… not great (he’s expensive!!) and he hasn’t performed up to how much money he’s paid, it’s clear that he’s a leader on the team. The young guys look up to him, and the older guys respect him, and that’s what we’s appreciates ‘bout him. Also. He LOVES animals. Backes and his wife Kelly (who have known each other since kindergarten how cute is that shit) have their own charity that helps animals!! (Forward (Winger/Center), #42, currently 2nd line)

- Were you really into magic as a kid (or currently)? Have you always gravitated to your one friend’s dad who was super quiet but super smart and taught you how to play chess at that cookout one time? Then your new dad is David Krejci! Sometimes called The Wizard, Krejci is known to make magic happen on the ice. Between no-look passes and somehow being able to know exactly where his wingers are going to be before they even know, tbh. Krej is probably the MOST underrated player on the Bruins, but he’s always dependable, and always seems to be there when you need him.  (Forward (Center), #46, 2nd Line)

Step 3: pick your weirdo

- Have you never eaten a vegetable willingly in your life? Do you consider yourself a chef - specifically for children? Do you think getting your teeth knocked out is fun and exciting? Then Jake “JD” DeBrusk is the dude for you! Goofy AF off the ice and a sniper on it, Jake is extremely worthy of being your chosen weirdo. He has a lucky winter hat named “tuukka” that he’s been wearing all playoffs, and he might only have one brain cell but we love him for it. At one point called a draft bust, Jake has been proving himself to be an elite player, and has been a steady winger for Krejci all season. Plus. He’s cute af. (Forward (winger), #74, 2nd Line)

- Is getting under other people’s skin one of your favorite activities? Do you like to piss people off by being better than them at everything? Does licking someone’s face in the middle of a hockey game seem like a Good Idea to you? Back in step number one did you chose Patrice Bergeron as your Lord and Savior? Then Boston’s favorite Pest - Brad Marchand - is the guy for you! Brad started off as an undersized fourth liner, and has worked his way up to one of the top scorers in the league. Outside of Boston he’s probably the most hated player in the NHL - earning himself a reputation for being a pest (at best), and sometimes being dirty (at worst). This year we are proud to announce that he did not get suspended once! Though he did come in just short of 100 Penalty Minutes. Marchy was our top scorer this year, and has become an integral part of this team. (Forward (winger), #63, 1st Line)

- Are you secretly an arsonist? Are frogs your favorite animal? Do you have a crush on that Pretty Jock that’s in all your classes and sometimes smiles at you in the lunch line? Then Danton Heinen is the weirdo for you. Danton has been a quietly steady performer for the Bruins this season, spending time on the top line with Bergeron and Marchand when Pasta was out. He’s growing into quite the play maker, and he’s known for making good decisions on the ice that lead to goals. Danton also happens to look like a frog, which is an important character trait imo. He’s a tumblr favorite, but he’s a good person to like even in real life, because he makes an impact on the ice. (Forward (winger), #43, 3rd Line)

Step 4: chose your conventionally attractive white boy

- OKay we’re not doing the questions thing because judging by your ask you may not even be interested in men so i’m just going to dive straight into the description. He’s tall with a strong jaw and perfect curls and pecs of a God. Charlie Coyle is a Weymouth, MA native who Boston brought back home at the trade deadline. He’s been a bit of a hero this playoff run, and he looks damn good doing it. The B’s have been searching for a good 3rd line center, and Charlie has filled the role perfectly. Personally, I am deeply in love with him, in case you could not tell. (Forward (center/winger), #13, 3rd Line)

- an integral member of the Bruin’s all important Line 1A (aka the 4th line), Sean Kuraly has got it all. Piercing blue eyes? Check. Perfectly highlighted hair? Check. Cute little chin? Double check. Though he’s been photographed wearing jorts and an open flannel shirt with nothing underneath it, Sean is still a certified Babe. He’s been Klutch in every playoff run he’s had with the B’s, and is the scoring force behind the 4th Line’s brawn. Not to mention, his signature celly is a leap from the ice! (Forward, (center/winger), #52, 4th Line)

- Brandon Carlo… how do I begin to explain Brandon Carlo? Brandon Carlo is flawless. He has two bible tattoos and a designer bulldog. I hear his hair is insured for $10,000. I hear he does Tri-City Americans commercials… in Washington. His favorite movie is Miracle. One time he met David Backes on a plane… and he told him he was pretty. One time he punched me in the face… it was awesome (’cause he missed). In all seriousness though, Monte is a hardworking, defensive defenseman, who has really shone this season. He doesn’t show up on the scoreboard often, but he makes it really hard for other teams to get goals. Even though he struggles to score empty netters... he’s still a babe. (Defense, #25, 2nd Pair)

Step 5: Chose your shorty

- If you’re thinking - wait, shouldn’t Marchand be in this category? Isn’t he the smallest guy in the World? Then Torey Krug is the Short King for you. An ELITE offensive defenseman, Torey is absolute dynamite on the ice. In game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals Torey made history by becoming the first Bruins player ever to record 4 points in a stanley cup finals game. Krug is quick on his feet and can snipe from the blue line, but isn’t afraid to lay down the law when he needs to. Notorious for loosing his helmet so he can show off that flow, Torey also has a bulldog named fenway and a BABY on the way. (Defense, #47, 2nd Pair).

- Is talk shit, get hit a favorite saying of yours? Can you appreciate biceps the size of your head? Then Noel Acciari is your man. He might be short but he’s built like a tank, and he uses that bod to plow through guys on the ice. Noeldozer is known for laying down the cleanest hits, and we love when he takes out the trash! The Rhode Island Native got married last summer, and has a golden retriever named Thor. His mouth is currently fucked right up but I promise he’s actually kinda pretty. (Forward (winger/center), #55, 4th Line)

- Are you one of the apparent hoards of people that think a Boston accent is sexy? Could you get into a guy who says the fuck word on live television? Are collarbone tattoos a thing you admire? Do you like sexy, tough little son’s of bitches? Great! Matt Grzelcyk is the little guy for you. A BU grad who’s become a cornerstone of the Bruins d-core, Grz is a tough little cutie who works hard and gets shit done. More of an offensive defenseman, Matty G has been there for the team even when all of our other defenseman were injured. His Dad has worked at the Gahden for like a million years, and playing for the B’s is a dream come true for Matt and his family. He got taken out in Game 2 of the Finals, and the Bruins are currently seeking revenge. Dude’s got a good beard going too. (Defense, #48, 3rd Pair)

Step 6: Pick your goalie

- As much as we love Jaro, there’s only one goalie you need to know about when you’re learning about the Bruins... 2 U’s 2 K’s 2 Points... Tuukka Rask! The clear MVP of the Playoffs this year, Tuukka has been a brick wall in the net for the B’s. He’s known for being quick tempered and a little... wild, at times, having been caught on camera beating the shit out of a bunch of milk crates and on time brandishing a skate blade at the refs like a knife. Though some fans seem to never forgive Tuukka for the B’s loosing the 2013 playoffs, around these parts we love and respect and rely on his prowess in the net. Off ice, he kinda looks like the grinch (and knows it), though apparently Bergy thinks he looks like Harry Styles (i wish i was kidding). He’s also got 2 adorable little girls! (GOALIE, starter)

So now you’ve got 6 guys that you know about, right? I would pick 1 or 2 of those to be the ones you pay attention to. Listen for headlines about their goals/play, if you’re watching games, look for their numbers on the ice. All you gotta do is be able to say “Wow did you see that Coyle goal on Saturday night?” and all of a sudden you sound like an expert! (This works even better of you choose a guy not from the first category). 

If you have more questions about specific players or lines, feel free to reach out! I know not a lot but I know many people who actually do know things lol

(Also to any of Bruins tumblr who made it this far, I KNOW i’m missing your faves okay. Wagner, Clifton, Nordy, MoJo, Moore, and half the providence roster deserve a spot on here. But I’ve already written too much)

(Also Also, special thanks to Lil for helping me with Monte’s description) 

#boston bruins #this was a labor of love #look i know not everyone will agree with my categories but i was trying to be succinct #mine #mine:bruins #anonymous #beth's got mail #bruins

[magnetarmadda]

My Decade in Books Tag

@lexi-rose-studyblr tagged me for this--thanks!!

The rules: respond to the prompt “my decade in books” however you want, & then tag some ppl! I chose some of my favorites from that year along with a brief description of what I was doing (which is different than what the person who tagged me did). You can do that or make up your own response

I had to do something I never do to make this post: use Tumblr on my computer. I forgot what it looks like in a browser instead of mobile--it’s weird

Lucky for me, I joined Goodreads in 2009, although I didn’t use it regularly until 2015. So I had some help to remember, but let’s just say I left a lot of blanks for myself

2010: This was the end of my sophomore and start of junior year in high school, and because of the coursework at the time, I still had the ability to read in every spare moment. I read a lot of the Bloody Jack series by L.A. Meyer, a lot of e.e. cummings, and Journey to the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne

2011: Junior-senior year of high school, and I was so concerned with first AP tests and then college applications, I know goodreads snuck off my radar a lot. I finally read Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson, which was one of my grandpa’s favorite books (he died in 2003), and many other classics as I prepped for my AP Lit test. I actually enjoyed many of the ones I read, but I no longer remember which ones I read from the 2010-2012 period, so I thought I’d mention a couple of them here: The Great Gatsby, Cry the Beloved Country, Go Tell it On the Mountain, Sons and Lovers, and Pride and Prejudice

2012: Senior year of high school and starting my freshman year of college. I really had no idea how much my life was about to change--I regularly stay in touch with only a tiny handful of my friends from high school now, which is weird. I do remember, though, in prep for my AP Lit test, my teacher gave us a list of prompts from previous years, and I made it my mission to find a way to use Harry Potter for all of them. I ended up writing the actual test essay on the Scottish Play--which I dearly love--but it was fun anyway. I again have a mostly empty goodreads, but I really liked The Macho Paradox by Jackson Katz and The Books of Bayern by Shannon Hale

2013: Ending my freshman year and starting my sophomore year of college, I started dating my now-husband, and I used goodreads much less than before. Of the few books I included on goodreads, I enjoyed Deadly Persuasion by Jean Kilbourne and The Cry of the Icemark by Stuart Hill, which was a reread (and still one of my favorite books ever).

2014: This year were some of my hardest physics classes in undergrad, so I almost never used goodreads, which means my memory of what I read is limited. I did enjoy A Confusion of Princes by Garth Nix, but that’s the only rating I left 

2015: Junior-senior year of undergrad, when I realized I didn’t want to go to astro grad school, but wanted to be involved in science education somehow. Some of my favorite books were: The Shadow and Bone trilogy by Leigh Bardugo (and so began my love for Queen Leigh), the Alex and Ada comic book trilogy, Nimona by Noelle Stevenson, the Chaos Walking trilogy by Patrick Ness, Rebel Belle by Rachel Hawkins, Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein, When Christ and His Saints Slept by Sharon Kay Penman, Ash by Malinda Lo, Seraphina by Rachel Hartman, 1421 by Gavin Menzies, and House of Ivy and Sorrow by Natalie Whipple

2016: I graduated with my undergrad degrees, and while I waited to be able to apply for the next round of grad school openings, I worked part-time at a library--so, so many good books were found that way. We adopted our sweet fur babies that year. Books I loved included: The Imposter Queen by Sarah Fine, A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket, Heartless by Marissa Meyer, When the Moon Was Ours by Anne-Marie McLemore, The Supernatural Enhancements by Edgar Cantero, The Paper Magician trilogy by Charlie N. Holmberg, Everything Leads To You by Nina LaCour, The Princess Saves Herself In This One by Amanda Lovelace, Isabella: The Warrior Queen by Kirstin Downey, and a variety of girl-lead superhero comic books for my women’s and gender studies senior thesis

2017: I started grad school that fall, but spend the first half of the year still working at the library, so I read a whole lot. It was also the year my now-husband proposed. Highlights include: Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire, The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley, Wild Beauty by Anne-Marie McLemore, Wicked Like a Wildfire by Lana Popovic, A Caribbean Mystery by Agatha Christie, To Be Or Not To Be by Ryan North, Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, Radium Girls by Kate Moore, Young and Damned and Fair by Gareth Russell, The Bone Witch by Rin Chupeco, Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde, and The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden

2018: I finished my first year and started my second year of grad school, getting married smack dab in the middle of my summer term. The time for reading drastically went down, but I managed to read way more than expected. Some favorites include: The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang, The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon, Peril at End House by Agatha Christie, The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton, Sea Witch by Sarah Henning, the Lockwood and Co. series by Jonathan Stroud, Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid, Daughters of the Winter Queen by Nancy Goldstone, and Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones

2019: This was a Hell Year for me, with my migraines reaching new heights, and I spent a lot of time listening to audiobooks because it was the only thing I could do. Some books I loved last year were: Beyond the Hundred Kingdoms by Rod Espinosa (The Courageous Princess #1), Sera and the Royal Stars #1-5, Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston, Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo, Over the Top by Jonathan van Ness, At Bertram’s Hotel by Agatha Christie, Her Royal Spyness by Rhys Bowen, Code Girls by Liza Mundy, In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan, and god, so many more, so I’ll leave it there because I could go on for a long time (2019 was a good year for books for me because I stuck by my policy of putting down books I wasn’t enjoying, even if it was just because I wasn’t feeling them at that moment)

For a more complete list of 2010-2019, feel free to check out my goodreads (and send me a friend request if you want)!

I like to use my notes to tag recent people, so here goes: @takemegnome, @abby-doodle-books, @anassarhenisch, @elenajohansenauthor, @bookphile, @dr-dendritic-trees, and @the-girl-who-lived-to-read. Feel free to do or not do, and anyone who wants to jump on, feel free to take this as your tag!

#my decade in books #wow that was a lot #about me #tagged in #Madison tags people in stuff #long post

[cynnymonsnaps]

Let the Tides of Change Come

Pairing(s): Carlos de Vil/Jane/Oc, Ben/Mal, Evie/Doug, Gil/Jay

Word Count: 2,062

Summary: Sometimes the power to rewrite things comes in the form of jumping right into the Descendants universe and giving everyone a piece of your mind.

Doug's stereotypical nerdy band kid shtick? Out the window it goes. The adults not knowing how to do anything right? Not on my watch. Kids being stuck on a prison of an Island? You're all coming with me now.

For Micha, they've taken on the grueling task of heading to the surface to help teach the kids of Auradon and the Isle that it's okay to talk things out and to not give into the rules and expectations of the older generation.Will someone at least give these teens a moment to breath in between saving the kingdom please? Jesus.

[This series goes through all three movies as well as the main events of the books to fix some of the unexplained happenings in the timeline. A very long winded story to fill the void in my heart of there being no more Descendants. *sobs*]

Warnings: Mentions of drowning.

A/N: Posting this on tumblr too so it can reach more people, but welcome to my new series!  I’ve already got all the plot laid out in a doc on my computer so it’s all a matter of time to sit down and actually write the beast. Anyways, enjoy!

          From the darkened gloomy waters emerged Uma, daughter of Ursula, dressed to the nines in golden sea themed jewelry and a sequin dress with the Isle of the Lost behind her. Seeming to notice the camera she turned towards the screen, swaying to the waves of the ocean with a sneer across her lips. “What?” The teal haired girl who leaned in closer, her golden seashell necklace glowing in the night. “You didn’t think this was the end of the story. Did you?” She gave an evil cackle before slowly sinking back into the murky depths of the sea, leaving no trace of her in sight. Before I knew it, the screen faded to black and the credits were rolling as a cover of “Kiss the Girl” played. From the comfort of my wheelchair I lazily watched the credits all the way through, having watched the movie multiple times to know it was the end.

           I loved the Descendants series with all my heart. From its catchy music, to it’s colorful and eye-catching costume design, to the characters who grew alongside me as I aged. Even through all its little plot holes and Disney-ified solutions I had stuck with the series for a whopping 4 years, never losing the passion I always had for it. There was something about the concept of the next generation of Fairy Tale characters and sticking them in a multiverse that was so eye catching. It was the same reason I liked Every After High, RWBY, Once Upon a Time and the many other iterations of the same concept. Which was why I felt pretty frustrated with Disney and how they wrote some of their characters. True, Descendants was marketed to a children’s audience, so there had to be some liberties taken and some things had to be dumbed down, but I wished they had done more with the story and its characters. There were so many ideas that could’ve been bounced off, it was almost a goldmine of storytelling.

Take Doug, son of Dopey, for example. He was always portrayed as a nerdy band kid who didn’t know how to get the girl he liked without being creepy and clingy. He had very plain fashion sense and hardly ever spoke to help the plot in anyway. A basic throw away character in all reality. I could see through, that Doug was just as silly as his father in his own story and always seemed to pop out more when dance scenes come on. He would move his body in a way that seemed like there was a firecracker that wanted to be let out, sharp moments here, exaggerated expressions there. The boy knew how to have fun and it was such a shame that the writers hadn’t let it shine through his personality or lines. Such a waste of material.

I had much hope that Descendants 3 would somehow right these wrongs though. The release date was nearing, and I’ve been saving myself from any spoilers like the trailers or any music videos that Disney released. I wanted to have a fresh pair of eyes when I dove straight in. And if anything, I knew that I’d have a fun time just experiencing the last movie in the trilogy.

           Stretching out my tired body, I got up to look at the digital clock on the table. A bright “2:00 AM” blinked back at me and I knew it was time to head to bed. I was always a night owl, so it was common for me to stay up until the early morning, but the premier was only a few days away and I needed to fix my chaotic sleep schedule before then. How else could I watch along with the cast all the way through? Closing everything off I gave one last yawn before headed to bed and falling into the soft sheets. Drifting to sleep faster than I expected, I hadn’t even realize anything was amiss when I felt the brush of liquid surround me. It was when I felt the water gently rise when I furrowed my brows in confusion. “Funny. For a dream this kind feels a little too real.”

I tried to open my eyes to wake up, but found a heavy force keeping them shut. “Huh?” Trying to move my arms this time, it felt like no matter how hard I tried to raise them, some sort of pressure was keeping them locked to my sides. Alarm bells were ringing in my head and I felt panic rip through me as the water rose faster. “Fuck! Is this how I’m gonna die? Death by drowning in my sleep?” With my effort to break free failing and the feeling of water rising almost past my face, I couldn’t help but take in a deep breath before fully being submerged. The whole situation filled me with dread as I was left helpless with nothing to do but wait for the end to come.

But it never did.

-

In my wait I could hear the distant muffled call of a name above me.

“-ha”

A sense of relief washed through me as the voice called out again seeming a little closer than before.

“-cha.”

If only I could just move something, anything to catch their attention, maybe they would be able to save me from this nightmare. With one last try I went to get up, putting every inch of energy into my limbs.

“Micha!” A hand shot through the water, grabbing onto my arms and helping me break through the surface. I couldn’t help but gasp for air and flail my arms to try to keep afloat, but what was I to do when I almost drowned? “Calm down child! You’ve only swum down for a few moments and you act like you’ve been under for decades. If you do not calm down, you will take in the water.” The voice scolded with a hint of concern. Just like the voice said I accidentally gasped a bit of water in my freak out and made myself cough in an attempt to get it all out again. “By the gods, let’s just get you to shore so you can collect yourself.” The voice huffed. Once again, I was pulled along in the water, kicking my legs weakly to try to get back to shore as fast as I could.

           Trudging out of the water I laid down on the cool earth, facing the sky as I tried to slowly fill my lungs with air again. The air was surprisingly fresh, and, in the distance, I could actually hear the sounds of wildlife. They helped me ground myself and it almost felt like the heavy presence I’d felt in the water disappeared into thin air. At least that nightmare of a situation was over now.  As I sighed in relief, having a little moment to myself before I felt the voice kneel down beside me. “Have you collected yourself?” The voice called out again. Opening my eyes, I was greeted by a man who looked to be in his late twenties frowning down at me. He had long piercing white hair that pooled over his shoulders and soft indigo blue eyes that seemed to make me feel safe and secure. His skin was a russet, reddish-brown and there seemed to be blue tattoos marking his right pec. There was a slight familiar feeling about him and his tattoos, but I couldn’t quite place my finger on it. “You usually never lose yourself when venturing the waves. Was there something that frightened you?”

           “Uhh.” You awkwardly let out unsure how to answer exactly. My hesitation caused his frown lines to grow harsher, like he’d been frowning for a long time. Not wanting to anger him I quickly sat up, but because of my fast motions I got a little lightheaded. He immediately steadied me with a firm grip and his eyebrows seemed to furrow. If he kept that up, he’d probably get so many forehead wrinkles. I looked around where the two of us were and found that we were somewhere I’ve never been before. “Where… uh.” I coughed out awkwardly. “Where are we?” He gave me an incredulous look, like maybe the water had gotten to my head or something. I didn’t really know what to say though. I’ve never been to such an open and natural place with waterfalls and stone ruins before, having been surrounded by tall buildings and concrete streets my whole life.

           “Michael, we are in Atlantis near one of the coves you love to explore ever since you were a child. Do you not remember that?” The man gives me a suspicious look when I almost went to shake my head but quickly nod when I caught myself. I’ve heard of Atlantis before, having read it in my history books from school, but there was no way I’ve ever been here before in my life. And who exactly was this Michael? I heard him calling me Micha earlier too, but that wasn’t my name. I quickly shake myself out of his grasp and go to the edge of the water, being careful not to fall in. Didn’t want another drowning spell when I had just woken up.

           I couldn’t believe my eyes. On the surface of the water I saw a similar pair of soft surprised indigo eyes staring back at me. A soaking met mop of white hair on my head as lines of the same blue tattoos ran just under my right eye and my left shoulder. My skin color was the same russet reddish-brown as the man’s and I looked to be about 10 or so. I reached down just to make sure this wasn’t a hallucination and as I did, the little girl in the reflection did the same, causing the surface to ripple. As I did so a little blue crystal with a dim glow dangled in front of me. Wait a minute.

White hair,

Blue eyes,

Glowing blue crystal,

Atlantis.

Oh my god. Was I in the lost empire of Atlantis right now? Did I literally get transport into the Disney universe? But this isn’t my body… Oh my Jesus and a fry stick! Did I die and get put into someone else’s body?!?

           “Did you hit your head on one of the rocks when you swam down there?” Out of nowhere the stranger took my head into his hands and searched for any bumps or bleeding while I was having another mini freak out. He slightly man handled me here and there which I didn’t take too kindly towards. When he found nothing, he went to feel my forehead as if I could have gotten a fever in the short time I had been in the water. “You seem alright physically, and your temperature is just fine. Maybe you’re gotten a screw loose?”

           “Hey!” I brush off his hand and give a small scoff, in response he chuckled to himself. I gave him a little glare and proceeded to ring out my hair a little. I still didn’t know who he was and wasn’t too keen on letting him get too close, but at least I now knew where I was. Now the question was, why was I in Atlantis?

           The stranger watched as I made some distance between us and sigh. He didn’t know what I was thinking exactly but with how strange I was acting it he thought it was best not to do anything too extreme. He also went to ring out his hair and went to grab us some towels that were lying to the side. He handed me one before making speaking up again. “We should head back to where Mother and Father are. I’m sure they could come to a better conclusion as to what is going on then I can.” He motioned for me to follow him and slowly started to make his way over to an open path. I was reluctant to follow him at first, but at the mention of “Mother and Father” the idea of going along with him wasn’t too bad if somehow, I could get these new parents of mine to introduce me to Milo and Kida.

I just hoped they were still around for me to talk to.

#Carlos de Vil x reader #Jane x reader #Carlos de Vil imagines #Descendants x reader #Carlos de Vil x Jane x reader #descendants imagine #Carlos de Vil #Jane descendants #descendants fanfiction #Descendants #Descendants 2 #Descendants 3 #Disney Descendants