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#have to pack bc i go back home on monday
goldensunset · 7 months
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gyuswhore · 4 months
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Fifteen to Forever
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"I can’t not be happy when I know I have you."
PAIRING: hockeyplayer!choi seungcheol x f!reader
SYNOPSIS: Fifteen was the age you had met Choi Seungcheol at a school hockey game. Forever was the age you would find yourself spending with him.
CONTAINS: fluff, angst, smut (MINORS DNI), growing up, tears (a lot), distance, this is so emotional you will be in your feels, kissing, p in v sex (unprotected), clit stimulation, handjobs, happy endings bc we love them, i think that's it
WORD COUNT: 6k
masterlist
[AN]: thank you so much @ressonancee for birthing the idea of hockey player cheol in the first place, reading over some of the bits and helping me w some of the plot!!! ty for letting me ramble in your dms lol. hockeyplayer!cheol WILL reappear in other fics bc I'm obsessed with the idea, for now, I hope you enjoy this angsty fluffy creation <33
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It wasn’t until the last echo of the slammed car door had faded that you realized, yes, mom, I do actually want you to go in with me. 
But alas, as the last tresses of exhaust from her car fade into nothingness, you accept that you’d have to do this alone. Gripping the straps of your brand new backpack helps you ground yourself as the increasingly erratic breathing takes over you. It sinks in now that you’re alone. 
There’s a honk, and you realize you’re still frozen in the drop-off zone, the mom in the Subaru not appreciating the 7 AM delay to drop off her own high schooler. You wonder if her kid would let her drop them off inside. 
Scurrying into the entrance of the open gates, you find the courtyard full. Huddles of teens laughing and yelling despite the early morning hour, not a spare square foot on the grass. You try to find someone who looks like an adult but fail, hoping you’ll be luckier once you’re inside the building. 
You do find yourself lucky as you find a line of teachers at the entrance, ready to greet the new batch of freshmen on their first day of high school. There are a few other kids who look as tense as you, but you feel better with the way the administrator pats your shoulder as she hands you your schedule, assigning you to a lanky sophomore to show you around the building that’d become your second home for the next four years. 
Jeonghan tells you his name as he leads you into your homeroom, where you deposit your bag before going back out. He’s peculiar, you decide. He tells you to never walk without looking at the floor on Monday mornings to save your shoes from the occasional start-of-the-week breakfast hurl. He tells you in the cafeteria that the lasagna was horrible, but not the sloppy joes; the sloppy joes were good. He tells you in the gym that the coach would let you off if you rubbed a little eyeliner under your eyes, “he’s an empath.” 
By the time he’s listing off clubs and teams, you feel a little less nervous, pushing you back into your fuller homeroom with a sign-up sheet and a goodbye. You don’t get to say thank you. 
Kwon Soonyoung slips into the empty seat next to you, introducing himself a little louder than you’d anticipated, but you suppose you needed the enthusiasm. He innocently slips you his home number and hopes out loud that you’d be the best of friends. 
You get in the car that afternoon, responding with a wider-than-expected smile at your mother inquiring about your day. 
“It was great! I think I’ll like it here.”
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You found it strange that the rink was so packed for a high school hockey game, but that was before you saw the ten-foot banner and face paint. Soonyoung sits on your right as Jiwoo places herself on your left, both donned in blue and yellow, sandwiching your uncoordinated outfit. For whatever reason, you’d thought movies exaggerated the hype around high school sports, yet the support for the boys entering the rink roars into your ears to prove you wrong. 
They win, and with the way the rest of the team pats him on the back after sending in the last puck, you assume it’s all thanks to the boy with the Choi on the back of his jersey. 
He removes his helmet, hair flopping into his eyes as you realize you know him. He was always in the cafeteria with Jeonghan, the boy who gave you a tour on your first day, along with many other boys from his year. It was hard not to notice them with the ruckus they were always causing, yet you found them easy to drown out with the rest of the noise. 
“What’s his first name? The guy with the 08 on his back?” you ask Soonyoung. 
“Oh, that’s Seungcheol. Dude’s a fucking progidy or something.”
“Prodigy,” Jiwoo corrects. 
“Yeah, that. Jihoon said the only reason they got to finals last year was ‘cause of this guy.” 
You watch as he drinks from his bottle from the benches, smiling at his coach and teammates as they debriefed. At least you were guessing that was happening; the only thing you were thinking about was how you could hear his laugh from where you sat. And how it was making you smile, too. 
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You stare at your worn shoes that glow in multicolors as the beats in the gym warp and stagger through the speaker. You’re on your third punch, finding yourself awkward without something to occupy at least one hand. 
You had danced a little with Jiwoo, watched with bright eyes as Soonyoung dance off-ed yet another senior to his victory, giggled as you let another freshman, Jun, take Jiwoo away for the next dance. You now lace the edges of the party, taking a breather as you down the remnants of your punch, already trailing the memorized path to the snack table. Maybe you’ll try some of the lemonade this time. 
There’s already somebody occupying the lemonade cooler when you get there, back to you as you patiently wait for him to finish up. He moves away, leaning against the table. He takes a sip from his cup, and you move forward to fill your own. 
It’s Seungcheol. You recall his name as you recognize his face. He somehow looks as haphazard as you last saw him from yesterday’s hockey game. 
If he had come in with a tie, it’s long gone as he has his collar popped and shirt unbuttoned the first few steps. It doesn’t end there as you note the hair that dresses his eyes, soaked in what you cannot imagine is water with the way you saw someone with a similar build typhoon across the floor with nearly as much vigor as Soonyoung has had tonight. 
He’s downing the cup in haste, and you take a sip of the slightly tart drink as you debate if you should say something. 
“You did really well yesterday. Congrats,” you decide to say. 
He emerges from his cup to acknowledge you sipping on your own lemonade, “Oh, thanks. Were you there?” 
“Oh, yeah, I was. First hockey game, went with my friends,” you let out a little chuckle, not understanding why you suddenly felt so awkward. 
“Cool,” he answers plainly, mouth glistening and posture stagnant. “You’re friends with Soonyoung, right? Seen him hang around Jihoon a lot.”
“Yeah, he’s — he’s friends with everybody,” you laugh a little, and you hear him laugh with you. 
“How do you handle him? He’s giving a run for everybody’s money out there,” he gestures to the dance floor with a smile. 
“He mellows out after a while; he’s just excited,” you say, understanding his bewilderment.
“How’re you finding high school so far?” he asks when he runs out of things to say, yet forgets that he can easily excuse himself. But he doesn’t.
“Pretty alright. I’m having fun so far.” You don’t need to ask him the same, knowing well that the sophomore was having the time of his life.
“Good to hear, hope it stays that way for you.”
It’s another painful five seconds before you see Jiwoo waving at you from afar, pointing at something Soonyoung is doing. 
“Uh, I’ll see you around, my friend’s waving me over–”
“Oh, sure, uh, I’ll see you around.”
You give him one more tight-lipped smile as you wave from waist length before retreating. 
“Wait!” 
You turn around at his voice. 
“I never got your name.”
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Seungcheol took you on your first not-date in the spring.
Not-date because neither of you had labeled it as such, but you were pushed to reconsider when both Jiwoo and Soonyoung insisted.
He had brought his car that you slipped into after school to drive to the movies, where he bought you popcorn and paid for both of your tickets. He held your hand as you walked out of the theatre, wide-eyed and all smiles as you discussed the film you had just sat through for two hours. 
His palm fit in yours like it belonged there, and maybe it was your fifteen-year-old brain talking. Still, you never expected to be this comfortable with him — especially after the possible insinuation your friends had instilled. 
He drove you home that night as you searched for a million excuses to stay a little longer in his car as he parked in front of your door. But alas, you open the car door at the end of the night and are surprised to find him doing the same as he walks around to where you get out. 
“I had a lot of fun today,” you say in your rehearsed line.
“Me too,” he smiles. “The weather’s getting nicer, we should see the cherry blossoms next weekend. If you wanted to. We can take the car again.” 
He didn’t kiss you, at least not on the lips as he hugged you at your front door and pressed his lips to your cheek. 
You were quick to squeak out your goodbyes after that happened, slamming your door shut as you vaguely heard him drive off. 
With a hand to your racing heart, you count to ten. Perhaps you’d reconsider that not-date after all. Besides, you had cherry blossoms to look forward to. 
Choi Seungcheol kissed you, really kissed you, when he brought the team to the cup they missed out on last year, throwing himself at you as soon as you appeared before him. He was sweaty, half-dressed in his gear with his skates still on as he embraced you tighter than anyone ever had before. 
He put his lips on yours the second he saw your face as you pulled away, unable to help himself despite the groans and retches of his teammates, despite the fact that an entire bleacher’s worth of people saw you both. 
Not that either of you cared; you were just happy he didn’t have his mouth guard on (and that he kissed you before you couldn’t help it yourself).
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It was in your junior year and Seungcheol’s senior year that you began to hear the absurdities about the strength of your relationship, that you wouldn’t make it, that high school sweethearts never do. 
With shaking hands, you grip your boyfriend’s arm as he has a conflicted look in his eye. 
“No,” you say. You wonder where all of this strength was coming from when you all wanted was to cry. “You’re gonna go. You will go. I won’t let you throw all of this away because of something that’s never gonna waver.” 
He’s silent as he refuses to meet your gaze. The voices were getting to him, his older college friends laughing when he suggested that his relationship would last both college and the distance it would bring. He realizes he’s not so sure anymore. 
He sits cross-legged in front of you on your bedroom floor, mentally prepared to walk out for the last time. 
“You’re supposed to be happiest about this; I don’t understand why you insist I leave. And so far away?” he looks slightly bewildered. 
“Because you’ll regret it if you don’t. This isn’t about me, Cheol, it’s about everything you’ve worked for all these years—”
“Us, what about us? I’ve worked on us, too.”
“Why have you gone years without listening to a word what other people say to only listening to them now?”
“Was it just me, then? Because it feels like I’m the only one worried about our future together—”
“Choi Seungcheol, stop right there.” Your voice is brittle, and you don’t know how long you can keep the tears at bay. 
“I…I don’t know what to think,” his shoulders slump even lower. 
His hockey scholarship would take him so, so far away. He thought you were strong enough for this, but with every anecdote, every comment, every dejected “have it your way” to his resilience, he wonders if the both of you would be forced to fight a losing battle if he left. 
There were sports universities here at home, but there was no you with his scholarship. 
“I’ll tell you what to think. Will you listen to me?” 
Slowly, but surely, he nods. 
“You can get the scholarship you’ve always wanted, and we can stay as we are, although a little farther away.”
He looks like he wants to say something but doesn’t.
“I believe in us. And if you don’t right now, I’m ready to believe for the both of us. We’ll get through this.” 
In the end, Seungcheol believed you over everything the world told him, praying he wouldn’t let you or himself down as he laid with you on the last night he’d call his bedroom home. 
Graduation was a happy endeavor, momentarily forgetting what lay ahead as he enjoyed his last hours with all his friends in one place. The heavy feeling returned as the night progressed, agreeing to spend the night with him, tucked under his covers as you listened to his heartbeat. You wonder how long it will be until you're able to do this again. 
As you lay in his stripped bedroom, there’s little either of you say, an unspoken agreement to not sleep, not tonight. He has an early morning, but he doesn’t really seem to care as he continues to fiddle with your hair, kissing you at intervals like he's trying to bring back the feeling when it begins to fade. 
There’s little you can talk about when you’re trying to memorize each other’s scent. You remind yourself to give him your sweater when morning comes, already noting the hoodie you need to remember to pick up, the lone one he left you in his closet. 
But as the first rays of sun peeked through the blinds, sending stripes of sun into the bedroom, you tried not to feel the hard clench of your heart as the bare room came into sight. Despite the snoozing of alarms, the multiple knocks on his door, and the dawn of a new day, you let yourselves have an extra five, ten, fifteen, twenty minutes. 
Just you and him before it would be you, and it would be him.
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Seungcheol called you more than you called him. It was everywhere, even if it was just to say a quick “I love you” before a game, to hear your voice before he went to class, to listen to you complain about an assignment before he had to do his own. 
As resilient as you showed yourself to be, you’d be lying if you said there was a part of you that was afraid of how much faith Seunghceol held for the both of you, but at ease you were with the constant bugging he’d do and the bugging he seemed to appreciate back. 
By Christmastime, he’d texted you his itinerary for the holidays, explaining how he couldn’t spare a second to things like thinking. Most of his list involved spending all day rotting indoors with you. 
As much as Seungcheol had hoped you’d pick a college nearer to him, he was less scared when you finally announced your college decisions close to graduation. The past year had proved a lot, mostly that you both were stronger than the distance. Which is why he was the first to congratulate you when you got into the college of your choice, despite the fact that you’d be even farther away, leaving home in what felt like the opposite direction to him. 
You were scared too, mostly of how Seungcheol would react, but seeing the smile break out on his face when you told him gave you all the reassurance you needed. That summer brought you the best memories of your teenage years, with Seungcheol, preparing for you both to leave. Except this time, the air was less tense, fewer tears shed, fewer solemn goodbyes at airport gates, and less desperation in both of your hearts. A surety that you’d come back to each other. 
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Seungcheol was offered a contract with his dream hockey team when you were on the cusp of your final year. He told you nearly two weeks after he received the first email, not believing it until he was pestered to do so by the representative. 
You cried on the phone that night, the ache in your chest unbelievably present as you wished you could hug him at that moment. He denied his own tears, but you knew his glassier-than-normal eyes weren’t just through the camera lens. You told him you were proud, you told him this was only the beginning, that you needed to sit in the bleachers with his jersey on for every game he’ll ever play, that he was about to have an entire career to be proud of soon. 
He let a couple tears slip. 
And when he showed up to your graduation, sitting next to your family, you gave him the biggest hug you could muster from your bones. That year may have been the last you’d have to endure apart, but it was somehow the hardest. 
It was in that moment, when you pulled away to look at his smiling face, that the years registered in your mind. 
You’re fifteen again, seeing Seungcheol for the first time, donning the features he hadn’t grown into yet, the features you hadn’t grown into yet. You have to tiptoe to meet his lips now, see a man where there was once a boy, the deep set of maturity behind his pretty eyes. 
When he drops the last of your boxes into his — your shared apartment, you’re brought to the stark realization that you're going to stay here.
It’s when you’re unpacking your toothbrush, placing it in the cup right next to his that you realize you could do whatever you wanted with each other without having to work around flight schedules. It’s when he’s hobbling around wooden planks and screws in the bedroom, putting together the brand new queen-sized bed to replace his too-small twin, that you realize that you weren’t here for the week, or for the month or for any set amount of time; you were here forever.
At least that’s what you hope as you watch him collapse the last of the cardboard boxes to recycle, shoving in the corner of the entryway, leaving that job for tomorrow. 
By the time you emerge in the living room after a shower, Seungcheol has already begun to unpack the delivery food on the coffee table. It’s an array of delicious smells, slightly soggy food, and mounds of styrofoam and plastic wrap; a feast for your tired, tired bodies. 
The dumplings are amazing, and the warm feeling in your chest expands as you realize you can now order them whenever you like. 
Seungcheol picks out the chopped chilies from his food, migrating them onto your own plate as he talks about his next practice session without interruption. 
A thought occurs to you in that moment as you watch him down his cola. “Hasn’t coach put you on a diet plan?” 
“Yeah,” he says normally. You merely stare at him, not understanding how any of this junk could be any good for his form, especially when you know he’s good about abstaining when it comes to training. 
He smiles at the questioning look on your face, setting down his utensils, “It’s our first meal, in our first home. I think we deserve to share this with each other.” 
A smile breaks out on your face at the thought of this being your first meal, the first of many meals together in this home. Of all the meals you’ll share in every home after this, every day. 
And while Seungcheol finds himself sacrificing his diet to enjoy all of this greasy grub with you, you will also find yourself occasionally sharing his awfully bland chicken breasts and salads. All to share with each other. 
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Walking into the bustling restaurant in your uncomfortable shoes and your arm around Seungcheol’s, you’re quick to find the group you’re looking for. 
The noise is a dead giveaway, and you quickly realize they haven’t changed. 
You hear Soonyoung before you see him, his distinct laugh echoing the loudest across the sea of mingling heads. A loud banner hangs at the end of the room with your high school grad year. 
You detach from Seungcheol as he finds his junior friends, and you find yours, taking both Soonyoung and Jiwoo into a bone-crushing hug. It’s been a while since you last saw them. The crowd of familiar faces greets you, making small talk with everyone as they introduce you to their partners and even their children. You’ve grown; all of you have. 
“Seungcheol’s here too. You guys were together in high school, right?” somebody asks you at some point during the night. “He graduated before us, though; wonder who he’s here with.” 
You don’t blame them for assuming, considering both of you have been in your own circles all night. That, added to the obvious assumptions of high school sweethearts, you only laugh a little as you reply with a wider-than-usual smile. 
“Oh, he’s here with me,” 
You go home with a permanent smile stuck to your face, talking more animatedly than usual in the car ride home. Seuncheol mirrors your smile as he listens. 
Your good mood prevails for the rest of the night, even as you slip under the covers, ready to end the night on a happier-than-usual note. Seungcheol is reading his book when you crawl under his arm, head on his chest, and your arm slung across his torso. You feel his lips on the top of your head, the faint sound of his book being placed on the bedside table.  
“What’s got you so smiley?” he asks with one of his own.
You shake your head as you reply, “Nothing. I’m just happy I saw Soonyoung and Jiwoo.”
“I’m glad you saw them too. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
You hum in response, suddenly remembering a conversation you had. “You know, Jess asked me who you were there with.” 
“Figures,” he shrugs before laughing a little.“How much did she hesitate before asking you?” 
“Looked like she was holding it in for a little bit. Don’t blame her, though. She probably thought we ended it in epic teenage fashion.” 
He snorts at that, “Probably would’ve if you didn’t talk some sense into me.”
“Probably would’ve if you didn’t trust me like you did,” you crane your neck to look at him. 
“Glad I wasn’t that far gone,” he whispers, a faraway look in his eyes despite looking directly at you. “Haven’t doubted us ever since.”
There’s that warm feeling that spreads throughout your body, an overwhelming feeling of contentment coming over you. There was nothing, nothing, that could convince you to be anywhere else, especially anywhere that wasn’t in his arms. 
“Sometimes…well, a lot of the times, I think about us,” you start. “I thought us hitting six months was enough to tell me I’d be with you forever.” 
He smiles at the thought of high school you, starry-eyed, awkward little kids. He remembers the way you blushed when he kissed you for the first time in front of the whole school, the heat that had risen to his own face at the time. 
“And then we hit a year, and then two years,” you remember every surprise for every anniversary, from when you’d collect your allowance for weeks to get him something he’d like. 
“And then college happened. I tried being so positive, but I had never been more scared for us. I hope we never have to go through something that hard ever again.” You almost sound like a child not wanting to go to the doctor’s office, but with the way you feel yourself tighten your grip around him, you don’t think it’s any different. 
You can feel your eyes begin to well, and your voice begins to shake. It was nearly comical how quickly the smiles were turning into sentimental tears. 
Seungcheol places a kiss on your lips, and you know it was meant to be reassuring, but it only wrenches open the floodgates. The tears begin to make their way down your face, sniffles muffled as you go back to burying your face in his chest, his shirt soaking the wetness. You can feel a rumble in his chest as he laughs at your state. He’s also squeezing up your sides and placing kisses in any place he can reach. 
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you murmur into his shirt. 
“It’s okay. Today was very reflective,” he reassures, letting you stay hidden. 
“I just—” you sniff. “I just wanna stay happy like this all the time.” 
It’s only then that he guides your stained face away from his shirt to bring you to look at him, wiping the remnants of your tears as you try to keep the fresh ones at bay. “We’ll be happy, even when we’re sad. I can’t not be happy when I know I have you. I love you too much for that.”
“I love you,” you whisper into his lips, arms around his neck as you pull yourself to him, chest to chest. You kiss him properly, pecking him a few times to have your fill. 
And then he’s pulling away, ever so slightly to bring a bare millimeter of gap between your lips. His hands burn where they rest, one on your waist, one on your thigh. He’s breathing hard. Both of you are. 
“I’m gonna say something so not fit for right now,” he breathes.
You can’t help but freeze in his hold as you register his words, hesitating before you ask. “What?”
“Marry me.” 
It comes out as the same whisper, directly into your lips as he utters the words. Like he was keeping a secret from the walls and the furniture, like they were only meant for you; because they were only meant for you. Your heart stops, and you vaguely wonder if you’re breathing at all. 
“I—” he takes a long, shaky breath from his nose. “I was supposed to do this a little differently, but…”
You watch him reach over into his bedside drawer, the one you never touch, and bring out the smallest velvet box. Opening it reveals the prettiest, most delicate diamond you’ve ever seen, the jewel glinting and sparkling even in the dim bedroom lights. 
That’s when you let out a tiny gasp, feeling the tears return, dripping down your face one after the other. “Choi Seuncheol, you bitch.”
You’re sobbing at this point, and it has him sitting up straighter, leaving the box to the side as he lurches for you when you pull away. 
“Wait, fuck, sorry, I thought,” he exhales in frustration, hands trying to pull yours away from your face as you cry into your hands. He sounds desperate. “I got carried away, I don’t know what I was thinking—”
“No, it’s not that,” you finally manage through hiccups. 
“Yes, of course, I’ll marry you, I’m just fucking emotional.” 
You hear him laugh again, no doubt out of pure relief, as he nearly doubles over at the situation. 
You’re a little calmer as you continue to sniffle, watching him with a half-disgruntled, half-amused expression, “Put it on, stupid, or do I need to cry again for you to do that.”
You don’t need to tell him twice as he slips the ring on your finger, the perfect fit, the perfect jewel, the perfect ring. 
Bringing him closer, you kiss him again, lips pressed hard on his as you try to communicate every last emotion into it. You’re out of words, and you hope he knows what you're feeling. You know he knows; he always knows. 
He’s reciprocating with the same vigor, arms coming up to wrap around you so tight it pushes you flush against his body. He nips at your lip, running his tongue over it for good measure before letting it enter your mouth. You let him take the lead, let him guide you through every motion, every step forward. 
You’re putty when he pulls off your clothes for you, feeling your heart scream in protest whenever he pulls away to get rid of the obstructions. Your emotions were in a delicate place, and you suddenly couldn’t handle not being able to feel him against you consistently. 
He does well to make it quick, moving back on top of you to occupy your mouth once more. He tries to migrate lower, latching onto your neck to continue his ministrations there, but you don’t let him as you pull his face back to yours again.
“I love you,” you whisper against his mouth before latching onto his lips.
He lets out a low grunt, pulling away for breath as he whispers it back, “I love you more.”
If you won’t let his mouth move, you let his hands do whatever they wish, feeling them move lower against your sides to reach your hips. His thumbs draw circles on them as he slowly moves his hands to where you can feel the arousal grow. 
His fingers hit your bare heat as he plunges them into your folds, encasing your clit between his fingers. He drags them up slowly before moving back down, all the way to your now sopping hole to brush against the opening. 
You sigh against his lips as he pushes his finger in slowly, lips releasing yours as you throw your head back to feel his digit around your walls. He pushes a second one in without hesitation, and you know he’s just as desperate as you right now. 
He’s only two fingers deep, and yet you feel yourself beginning to come undone. He always knew what to do when he wanted to stretch you out faster, always knew what to do when he wanted to draw the pleasure out, keep you writhing for hours. 
Right now was different; it felt like he was holding himself back to the point where it was almost painful. If he wasn’t worried about the stretch, he would’ve buried himself inside you already, and yet, when he feels you clench undeniably hard around his fingers as you orgasm, he feels like he might’ve cum himself. 
His low moans echo off the walls with your louder, more desperate ones, riding out your high as you feel him bring his other hand up to rub your clit in fast circles, making the pleasure last. Coming down from your high, you feel him pause for a moment as he peppers kisses on your face, down your jaw and neck, finally coming to press his lips against yours. 
“You okay?” 
You nod in response, already grasping at his boxers to yank them down. Despite having just orgasmed, the satisfaction is yet to come, needing to feel him inside you before you combusted entirely. 
He helps as he discards himself of the final obstruction, letting you stroke his painfully hard member in your hands. The face he makes is heavenly as you watch him feel your hands wrapped around him. The impatience takes over as he finally removes your hands, instead pinning them beside your head as he guides himself to your entrance. 
Seungcheol goes back to planting himself onto you entirely, knowing exactly what you wanted from him, needing to feel him against you so flush and tight. He lets you wrap your hands around his neck as he finally begins to push himself into you, letting his tip graze the beginning of your entrance. 
He breathes into your neck in deep, deep exhales, trying so hard not to cum before he’s even entered you entirely. He takes his time pushing into you, focusing on your fingers as they play with his hair, your palms running down his shoulder blades in a pathway. He closes his eyes as he sheaths himself in you completely, continuing his steady breaths to not come undone before you. 
He begins to move when he feels like he’s gotten a hold of his bearings, feeling you hold onto him as he starts thrusting into your cunt. The sounds you make are bliss; the feeling of every inch of your skin on his is making him lose his already lost mind. 
Your arms drop when they can’t hold onto him any longer, your hands remaining on him regardless, in some way or the other. Seungcheol takes hold of your hand, emerging from the crook of your neck to bring it to his mouth. He kisses it, your palms, the back of your hand, your fingers, directly over the rock he slipped on you himself. 
The tenderness of his actions makes your brain rattle against your skull, the building feeling in your abdomen coming so close to collapsing into release. You find yourself pushing yourself up on your elbows, face finding the crook of his shoulder as you push yourself back into him when pulled back in the slightest. 
You’re so close now, so, so close. “Cheol,”
“I know, darling. Cum for me, baby, I’ve got you, I’ve always got you.”
You release to the sound of his voice, the words that tumble from his desperate mouth, the feeling of his own cum shooting inside your spent walls. He continues to thrust into you as you both let out the loudest moans of the night, letting yourself get wrapped up in the feeling of each other before you lose your peak. 
You register nothing as you feel him drop his weight on top of you, letting the moment pass. 
Despite having had nights rougher, more lengthy than this, you somehow feel more spent than you have at the end of any of those escapades. The answer comes to you in the few minutes it takes for you both to catch your breath, Cheol being just as fatigued as you despite his athlete stamina. 
You feel him continue to press his lips onto your skin, letting you do the same to him in between kisses. Neither of you speak for another few minutes, letting the heaviness of your hearts come forth in the showers of love you seem to want to give each other. 
He’s grasping your left hand, toying with the ring fitted there. “I can’t wait to spend forever with you.” 
A picture of the both of you hangs on the wall in your bedroom, dim yet decipherable in the low lights. There’s a moment where you have a flash of that same photo on multiple different walls. Different shades of neutral, in different rooms in different houses. It’s the same picture. 
You think of what forever might hold for the both of you, separately and together. You let the prospect of every step, every change, and every milestone wash over you in waves that keep coming, crashing back to feed into another. 
Change, you rehearse. There had been lots of it, and yet you had merely scratched the surface of what life was about to throw at you. You knew that, Seungcheol knew that. But you found yourself, in that moment, convinced in entirety that change is good, whether it feels good or bad. 
Distance makes the heart grow fonder; you didn't realize the meaning of the phrase until you had to live apart from the love of your life. Painful, difficult, sometimes agonizing, yet also necessary, you conclude. You wonder if your love would ever have grown this deep if you hadn’t felt life without each other. 
You think of how far you’ve come, how you’ve grown with each other. There was an encompassing of gratefulness that came with every step you had taken, and with every step you would take henceforth, you knew that for certain. 
Perhaps you would find yourself voicing these emotional thoughts to him, but not now. The unspoken was louder than anything you could say. 
“I can’t wait to spend forever with you, too.”
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taglist (strikthru could not be tagged): @rubyreduji @vampirexlotita @simqly-yunjin @tomodachiii
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lincolndjarin · 25 days
Text
Oh Honey. ✩ Chapter 5
chapter five : i'll decide where to go from here
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series masterlist ao3 kofi main masterlist
a/n : happy last chapter of oh honey!!!! took a while to get out bc i was briefly on hiatus and then was in a slump (whoops) but here it is. this is another case of me writing an ending before the story so this has been the intended ending since i started and i hope you all like it as much as i do
pairing : monster!joel miller x mortician!reader
rating : 18+ mdni - explicit content, read all warnings
word count : 6.4k
summary : a look into the past and present of life in honey, west virginia
warnings, etc. : language, allusions to sex, angst & fluff, complicated relationships and people who are trying to handle them, an obscene amount of flashbacks, reader has hair and is carried by Joel, several timelines in no particular order.
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“C’mere, bunny.” His stubble brushes against the back of your neck, his mouth is warm as you feel a kiss placed against your spine. 
“Mmm, what’s on the agenda for today?” You hum, pushing back against him a bit, the camper’s freezing in the winter, your heater broke a week ago and the parts Joel ordered to fix it won’t be in for a week. So you’re stuck with a little space heater you’d bought at the hardware store. 
“I was thinkin’ we’d just do this for a while.” His arms tighten around your waist and stomach with a sigh. “We could just stay in today, order food, watch a movie on your laptop.” He yawns before nestling close against you. 
“It’s too cold to stay here, it’s supposed to snow all weekend, it’s only gonna get worse. Maria even closed the home early yesterday” You groan, rolling over in his arms to press your face into his neck. The tips of your nose and ears are freezing, the two of you are under all the blankets you own, bundled up, when you peer out the window you can see the snow falling and settling on the trees. 
Joel mumbles into your hair, deeply inhaling. “Why don’t you pack a bag and we can head back to the house then. You can stay until Monday and can fix the heat while you’re at work.” 
“I hate staying at your place, all of my shit is here.” You spend most weekends at Joel’s, it’s easiest that way, but packing up all of your things and bringing them back and forth is getting tiring. 
“Just bring it with you.” 
“I think you underestimate how much stuff I need for four days.” You’re already giving yourself a headache trying to make a mental list of everything you’ll need. 
“Why don’t you just move in.” He mumbles with another yawn. “It would make it easier for both of us if all your stuff was there.” It isn’t until he realizes that you’re frozen in place that he opens his eyes. “Or not, just a thought.” 
You stammer an excuse, hoping to alleviate the tension that’s suddenly lingering between you. “I just- I don’t know if we’re there yet.”
“I didn’t mean to rush you, just thought I’d offer.” He shrugs before pulling you close again.
“I’m sorry.” You whisper into his chest.
“Don’t be. You’re right, it’s too soon for that.” 
You’ve been together for a year now, you almost never sleep apart, if anything you should have moved in six months ago. 
What’s stopping you? 
You’ve been distancing yourself from any concrete commitments for sometime now and even if he never says it you know it bothers him. When do you stop punishing him for something you claim you’ve forgiven him for? He doesn’t hurt people as often anymore, at least he’s trying harder not to. But it’s getting hard for the both of you to keep up this system of locking yourselves in his room for a week every month. 
Sometimes your cycle syncs with Maria and Sarah has to drive in from out of town to watch Ellie, it’s just generally become harder to manage. 
But you can’t leave him when he’s like that. 
On the rare occasion that you’re too exhausted to stay awake and entertain him he’ll end up in the woods and a massacred corpse ends up on your table when you return to work. 
Everytime you think you’ve found forgiveness and acceptance you’re reminded of the fact that you love a monster. A selfish choice that you make every day. And everytime you tell him you can’t live with the guilt he gives you the same option. 
Kill him. 
You’re sure he doesn’t mean to make it sound so grim, each of you have complicated relationships with death. You just don’t think you’ll be able to live without him, and it’s not like he expects you to kill him yourself, he always tells you he’ll handle it with Tommy but you always shoot the idea down and you’re back to square one. 
“I just need a little more time, I promise this isn’t forever.” You mumble as you sit up.
“I’d do anything for you, anything at all. Just tell me what to do.” 
You don’t doubt that. But he still doesn’t give you what you actually want, all you ask of him is options that don’t involve him, or any more innocent people, on your cadaver cart.
The bed is empty when you wake up. 
You knew it would be when you went to bed alone last night but a part of you, after all this time, still feels incomplete when the sheets beside you are cold. The creaking under the floorboards is the only noise in the house. 
Your alarm clock reads 6:58 a.m. and you know it’s only a matter of minutes before you need to be up so you throw the blankets aside, stretch your arms above your head, and stand. Right on cue you hear the familiar stomping down the hall before your door swings open, Ellie rubs her eyes before scurrying over to you. Her hair’s in disarray, having fallen out of the braid you put it in last night, you scoop her up into your arms, trying to smooth the mess down. 
“Good morning, little monster.” You mumble, kissing her cheek before carrying her down the hall and into the kitchen. You can’t help but wonder how much longer she’ll be small enough to hold like this. She’s already almost too heavy for you to lift for this long, and the living room and kitchen are still decorated with banners and deflating balloons from her sixth birthday party yesterday. 
Kids birthdays, elementary school, home owning? 
Even after a couple years it’s still a little dizzying that this is your life now. You set her down at the table, retrieving the generic sugary cereal you’ve grown fond of from the cabinet along with bowls, spoons, and milk, setting them down on the table in front of her. 
“Can I feed the sheep before we go?” She says before reaching for her spoon, you nod.
“If you brush your teeth without giving me a hard time.” You fill your bowls, you have to remind her to slow down a few times as she shovels cereal into her mouth, eager to go out to the barn. You’re only halfway through your bowl when she runs off in the direction of her room.   
You hear the telltale sounds of her pushing her step stool across the tile of the bathroom as she rummages through the cabinet. As you finish up your own food and tidy up you make a mental list of everything you need to do today. 
Get Ellie ready for school. 
Tend to the sheep. 
Drive Ellie to school. 
You take your phone out of your sweatpants pocket, 7:16, and text Maria to make sure they’re still good to take her this weekend. Ellie hums as she brushes her teeth when you peer into the bathroom before making your way into your own room, changing quickly, you’ve got about an hour before you need to leave. 
Drive Ellie to daycare. 
Grocery shopping. 
Oil change. 
Making lists helps. You like knowing what you’re going to do and when you’re going to do it, you’ve had enough surprises in your life, you don’t like when the routine changes. Without your routine you’d lose yourself entirely. Ellie helps, she likes structure as much as you do, you stand behind her in the bathroom now watching her finish up and making sure she did a good job. The sparkling stone on the counter catches your eye, a reminder that you’re constantly forgetting your ring. It’s a bit much for your taste but it’s a family heirloom and Joel insisted. Sliding it onto your finger as Ellie hands it to you.
Check on Ellie.
Clean the house. 
Make dinner. 
Before she can run back to her room you gently pull her back by the collar of her shirt, grabbing a hair tie off the counter you tie her hair in a ponytail before letting her go get dressed. By the time she’s ready you’ve got your jacket on, holding Ellie’s coat out for her to stick her arms through the sleeves. She already has a toothy grin plastered on her face as you both step out of the sliding doors leading to the backyard. You take her hand, knowing she’ll run ahead if given the chance, you know better than to let her out of her sight.
Dangerous things live in the woods of Honey. 
She’s pulling you along through the short path between the trees leading to the barn with a fence surrounding it. Once you’re in the clearing you let her run ahead, once you’re able to see everything around you. The air is icy and damp as you follow after her, opening the gate as she slips under the fence. The sun is just starting to break through the trees, it’s still too cold for the sheep to be out, there isn’t much exposed grass for them to eat anyway. You’ve been keeping them in the barn most days unless it warms up, today isn’t one of those days. With a high pitched giggle Ellie rushes inside, you hear the familiar sounds of bleating as she greets all of them by name. 
You watch in momentary silence as you make your own way into the barn, enjoying her little smile that warms up the freezing barn. 
“Did you turn in your project yesterday?” You sit on a hay bale, watching her run amongst the sheep before turning to you, nose red from the chill. You hadn’t gotten to ask her about it since you’d been so busy with her party, it wasn’t really a “project.” Just a little assignment for the kids in her class, to draw something important to them. 
Of course Ellie had wanted to draw her father, something you were happy to help with until she held the crayon in her fist and began to draw the sharp angles and pointed claws that you realized she couldn’t show it off to her class. You let her finish the drawing. It’s remarkable really, how someone so small and vulnerable can portray such a frightening creature without fear. 
She loves him, that’s why. 
You love him too but that doesn’t mean he didn’t terrify you. No amount of strange magical connection was going to change the fact that he scared you. The difference of course is that Ellie doesn’t know what he’s done. You had encouraged her to draw a background, concealing the mass of flesh and teeth in darkness and trees until only the two of you knew what hid behind the blue and green. Together you decided that it was a drawing of her favorite place. The national forest on the edge of town. 
“Good, Riley guessed what it was though.” She says as she pats one of the lambs gently on the back. 
“She guessed it was the Manangahela National Forest?” You give her a skeptical smile as she fills a bucket with feed before emptying it into the trough. 
“Monongahela.” She corrects you proudly. 
After all this time, you still never get it right. 
“Smart ass.” You grumble under your breath as she carefully lifts the hose, filling the water buckets. 
“Ass.” She says with a grin. 
“Don’t say that.” You point at her sternly, stifling a laugh. 
With a small huff she turns the hose off and rushes over to sit beside you and watch them. 
“She said the forest was my favorite so it was easy.” She mumbles, briefly captivated by the sheep. 
“She’s a good friend for knowing that.” You like Riley, you’ve watched the two girls play together several times before, she’s a good influence on Ellie as far as you can tell. 
“Mhmm.” She hums, the silence returning between the two of you as you both watch the sheep.
You don’t tell her that you’re going to butcher one of them tonight. 
You know that she can handle it. At this point in her life she can handle much more than any other six year old you’ve ever met but you just aren’t ready for that sort of thing yet. You haven’t been a parent long enough to know the proper way to go about that sort of thing. 
“Time for school, kiddo.” You stand up abruptly and take her hand again, watching as she yells back to the sheep, saying goodbye to each and everyone of them. 
The truck sits idly in the driveway but you ignore it, opening the door of your own car, Ellie throws her backpack in before climbing in herself. It was the first thing you’d bought with Darlene’s money. (The second thing you did was help Sarah with her student loans and put aside some for Ellie.) You hated driving the truck, it was too big and too loud, this just felt safer for driving Ellie around. Once she’s buckled into her seat you make your way over to the driver's side. The radio plays some rock song that immediately has her squealing in the backseat, with a grin you turn it up as you pull out of the driveway. 
“Is she my mom now?” 
You had been walking past Ellie’s room after your shower, wearing one of Joel’s flannels with the towel wrapped around your hair when her voice froze you in place, her bedroom door cracked open. 
“That’s not exactly how that works, kiddo.” His voice has a nervous lilt to it you don’t often hear from him. 
“Then why is she always here?” She sits up a bit and you hold your breath as Joel’s brow furrows. 
“Is that a problem?” God you hope not. 
“No, I like her.” The tension in his face relaxes with your own. 
“I’m glad you do. I like her too.” 
“So when will she become my mom?” Her persistence on the issue makes you feel as awkward as he currently looks. 
“She’ll become your mom if she wants that. But that probably won’t happen until we’re married, and I don’t know if she wants that yet either.” There’s a beat of silence, you’re heart skipping a beat at the earnestness of the conversation. The silence is quickly interrupted by the little one screaming your name as you rush back to the bathroom, opening and shutting the door to try and make it seem like you hadn’t been listening. 
“Yes, little monster?” You make a real show of stepping loudly down the hall as you push the door open. You’re greeted by the sight of Ellie trying to wriggle out of a rather flustered Joel’s arms, face red and flushed as he tries to shove her under her blankets. 
“She’s just messin’ around.” He grumbles before throwing a pillow at the giggling mess. 
Her voice calling your name from the backseat snaps you out of your thoughts. 
“What’s up?” You turn the music down as you glance at her in the rearview mirror. 
“Can Riley come over today after school if her mom says it’s okay?” 
“You’re going to Uncle Tommy’s tonight, love. I’ll text her mom and see if she’s okay with picking her up from there if he gets you guys after school. Does that sound okay?” She nods happily when you look in the mirror before going back to singing along with the radio. When you pull up to the parent drop off you get out of the car to unbuckle her, kneeling down in front of her as she pulls her backpack straps over shoulders. 
“Can we have a birthday party with Dad when he gets back?” She tilts her head to the side as she asks, you lean forward and kiss her on the cheek before pulling her into a hug. 
“Absolutely we can.” You give her a soft smile before her attention is diverted towards a group of her friends. “Be good today, I love you.” 
“Love you, bye!” She leans in to give you a kiss on your own cheek before rushing off, you watch her go, waiting until she’s in the building before getting back in the car. You send a quick text to Riley’s mom and Maria, scheduling plans for the girls before putting the car in drive as you head off towards a neighboring town. Honey has a grocery store but on days like this where you have so much free time you like to go to the nicer ones out of town. 
You turn the radio off now that it’s just you, cranking the heat to keep warm as you drive in silence. 
“We should get married.” You had brought the idea up, much to his surprise. About a year ago, as you were setting up for Ellie’s fifth birthday party, a year after you’d finally moved in. 
“Are you serious?” He had been laying on his back, under the camper, working on the more technical aspects of the project. In his shock he’d rolled himself back out to stare at you. 
Why wouldn’t you be? Sure, it took a lot of effort on his part but you finally feel like you’ve stopped holding everything against him. You had hoped that he knew that by now. 
“Why not? Everyone already thinks we are, everyone at Ellie’s school calls her my daughter, Tommy’s been teasing me about it for ages-” He pulls himself to his feet, quickly putting his hands on your shoulders. 
“Bunny, slow down.” He’s getting flustered, you swear his drawl is thicker when he gets like this.
“You’re the one who always says I take things too slow.” You frown, turning back to the flowers you’d been planting in the boxes under the window but he turns you back around to face him.
“You mean it?” His voice is a whisper and you quickly realize how much this means to him.
“Of course, I mean, we’re going to spend our lives together anyway, why wait.” You give him a reassuring smile as you tilt your head to kiss his cheek, briefly letting yourself indulge in the taste of his skin before pulling back. “As much as I’d love to talk about this more, we should get back to work if we want to finish this before she’s home.” 
He doesn’t say anything else about it as he goes back to running the electrical under the camper and you can’t help but wonder if you crossed a line. Thankfully you’re on a time crunch to finish this and your mind is kept busy. 
The two of you work in silence, almost synchronized as you move from task to task. He brings the cinder blocks out and lines the camper, creating a semi-permanent foundation as you string fairy lights along the outside and finish up planting flowers around the entire thing. Joel attaches the small porch he and Tommy made a few weeks ago that you had painted as you step inside. It’s unrecognizable after all the work the two of you put into it. The ceiling now painted a dark blue, glow in the dark paint dotted along the entire thing, when the sun goes down she’ll be able to see the stars from inside the camper. You painted the walls and changed out the curtains and sheets more to Ellie’s tastes. She’d always loved it here, when Joel was actually busy with work trips she’d stay with you in the camper. Even nowadays with you living with her and Joel she still often asks if she can play in the camper. 
Just as you’re finishing up Joel steps inside as well, testing all of the faucets while wiping a bit of sweat from his brow. 
“Think she’ll like it?” You ask, your fingers nervously twitch as you roll the hem of your shirt between them, he laughs as he leans back against the counter. 
“She’s gonna love it, s’better than any gift I’ve ever gotten her.” You can’t help but smile as he holds his arms out towards you, you quickly step into them, leaning against his chest and taking a deep breath. 
You open your mouth to speak, wanting to address your proposition from earlier quickly so it doesn’t hang in the air for too long but you hear the familiar rumble of Tommy’s truck pulling into the driveway and the two of you quickly rush out of the camper and down the steps. You straighten the bow on the door and quickly lock it. You hear Ellie’s laughter as she runs around the side of the house, Tommy and Maria walking up behind her. 
She’s excited to see both of you, a paper crown announcing her birthday adorns her head as she runs up to hug her father. The second she sees the camper though she darts right past him. 
“Why’s this here?” She yells excitedly, she knows exactly why it’s here instead of sitting stagnant on the piece of property you sold just a few days ago. You smile at Joel, nodding towards her as he leans down to pick her up. 
“She got you a little birthday present, since you’ve been so nice to her and let her come live with us.” He points at you as she immediately starts squirming out of his grasp, tossing her backpack aside as she runs up the little porch steps. She turns around to look at you with a huge smile on her face.
“Are you fucking serious?” She screams. You can’t help it as a laugh slips out of you, thankfully Tommy can’t hold it together either as Joel immediately breaks into a lecture you nudge his shoulder as you hand her the key.
“It’s her birthday, she’s allowed to say it on her birthday.” You murmur through your continued laughter. She wraps her arms around your legs, hugging you tightly before turning around and unlocking the door. “Happy birthday, Ellie.” 
She had loved her party, thankfully. And she loved her new playhouse much to your relief. 
You and Joel laid on opposite sides of her as her little snores filled the camper, she had wanted a campout as a birthday treat and you were both more than willing to oblige. You’re staring up at the faintly glowing stars painted on the ceiling when he sets the box down next to you. You grab it, wanting to ask him more but not wanting to wake Ellie up you open it. 
And you’re met with a ridiculously gorgeous ring. 
Clearly an heirloom but he’s recently had it polished, one large diamond framed by two smaller ones on either side of it. Your eyes are wide as you stare down at it, shimmering in the moon light before sharply turning your head to the man with a dopey smile lying across from you.
“Been carrying that around for a while now, if I’d known you were ready I would’a asked sooner.” His voice is low as Ellie stirs a bit and you both freeze as she rolls over closer to her father. 
Neither one of you speaks again, but the look on your face as you put the ring on was answer enough. 
The beeping brings you back to reality as you scan every item in the self checkout lane. 
You’re only feeding yourself while Ellie’s with Maria and Tommy, so you keep it simple. Another box of cereal, milk, an apple, a loaf of bread and deli meats. You’re pretty sure you have enough cheese and other essentials to get you through the rest of the weekend. On your way up to the checkout counter you grab a bag of dark roast coffee beans and a box of tampons. 
You’re out of both. 
You know you live in memories too often, especially without Joel to keep you in reality. You find him in the past when he isn’t beside you because something needs to fill the aching void that yearns for his smell, his taste, and his touch. And echoes of Joel are almost as good as the real thing. There’s a funny comfort you find in memories. Even unhappy ones. There’s no surprises in memories, you know what’s going to happen and you know you survived it.
Even the bad memories bring you comfort when he isn’t around to do it himself. 
You pay quickly, loading everything into the cooler in the car as you head off in the direction of your mechanic. When you park you’re told it’ll take about fifteen minutes, nodding as you sit in the waiting room, where your mind inevitably wanders to one of the worst memories in the hours following your meeting in the Applebees that has since closed. 
You didn’t pay attention to the road. 
Instead you stared at your hands in your lap as he drove, not bothering with the radio, the two of you stewing in your silence as he pulled into the driveway. You didn’t even unbuckle your seatbelt, he had come around the truck and done that for you, pulling you into his arms and carrying you bridal style up the porch steps and into the house, only stopping to kick the door shut before bringing you to his room, clicking on the lamp he hadn’t bothered to remove, and setting you on the mattress. 
He lays down beside you, taking your face in his hands but you immediately recoil, pushing him away. 
“What do I have to do to earn your forgiveness? To show you I’m sorry? Cause I don’t see a point to any of this if it’s never going to happen, it’ll be better for both of us if we know where we stand.” He’s right, unfortunately. Neither one of you deserves to waste the other's time if this is going to mean nothing. 
If you can’t forgive him.
“Can you at least let me love you? Do you think you can manage that?” His voice is dangerously close to cracking and you have to pray that he doesn’t break. If he can’t hold it together you know you won’t be able to either. “Neither one of us wants to deal with this but we don’t have a choice.” 
“I don’t know.” You mumble, you really don’t know so why answer with anything else? 
“I don’t even need a concrete answer, bunny. I just need to know if someday you’re going to be able to forgive me. I can’t live a life where you keep me at arms length.” 
You hadn’t responded. Just slid closer to him. 
And you let him hold you until you fell asleep, hoping that would be enough. 
Your phone buzzing is what snaps you out of your empty thoughts this time. When you open the notification you’re met with a message from Maria, a photo of Tommy sleeping in the recliner, Ellie sitting in his lap, and Riley sitting on the arm of the chair, watching whatever movie they put on the T.V. 
[ Made it back from school. Watching Treasure Planet. ] 
[ love it ] [ thanks again for taking them ] 
The mechanic returns shortly after, handing you your keys and telling you you’re good to go. The hour drive back isn’t terrible, you opt to listen to music on the way back. It’s quiet when you return home. Putting away the groceries and making yourself a sandwich as you look around the cluttering remnants of the party yesterday, the only sounds are your chewing and the soft creaking and scratching from under the floorboards.
Joel has so much pride for your home. He would hate it if he knew how dirty it was currently, the thought alone has you reaching for an empty trash bag once you’re finished eating. 
You turn all the lights on as the sun starts to set, how much time did you spend daydreaming today? You try not to think too hard about it as you start cleaning up the plastic cups and paper plates that litter every surface of the living room, popping deflating balloons and sweeping up discarded streamers and confetti. There’s a feeling of solace that comes with cleaning the house, making it feel like home once more. 
This isn’t just Joel’s house now, it’s yours as well, even if you thought this would never be the case. 
“I know that you shot down the idea last time but I want to show you something.”
“Joel, I just don’t think…” Your voice trails off as you stare at the key ring he’s holding out towards you. If you can’t guarantee that he won’t hurt people you can’t share a home with him, it’s stupid and it makes you feel childish but you can’t come home to him knowing people are still dying, even if you can’t stay away from him. 
“Just give me a chance to show you.” He puts the keys back into his pocket before taking your hand. Walking you down the hall towards his room, he stops briefly to check in on Ellie, still tucked into her own bed as you peer into her room before he closes her door quietly. “I don’t want you to think that a life with me is going to be only horrors, and I know that a part of you has already resigned yourself to such a thing but you don’t deserve that.” You’re about to interrupt him, tell him that’s not true despite the ache in your chest that tells you he’s right but he’s opening his own bedroom door and you’re too busy staring slack jawed inside. 
It’s unrecognizable from the monster cage he’d created for himself. 
Instead of resting bare and on the floor, the mattress has sheets and now rests on a low to the ground metal frame. The photos that were once taped to the wall are now in frames or pinned to a bulletin board he hung up. 
He put a rug down that covers any claw marks on the floor and he’s done his best to hang up photos and paintings over the scratches on the walls. There’s even furniture now, a nightstand on either side of the bed with a matching dresser, lamps scattered around the room make the space feel warm and lived in. 
“You- you did all this?”
“If you live with me I don’t want you to have to sleep in some sort of creepy homemade dungeon, you deserve an actual bedroom.” He whispers as you look at the paintings on the wall, all of them are Alice in Wonderland themed. “I borrowed those from Sarah’s room, we can change them out when- if you move in.” He quickly mumbles as you look up at a painting of Alice staring into a lake, her own image being reflected back up at her. 
“It’s lovely, it’s perfect Joel.” You turn back to him as he rubs the back of his neck bashfully. 
“This ain’t it, there's a few more surprises for you.” The shocked look remains on your face as he takes your hand once more, bringing you back into the kitchen and out the sliding glass door. 
You had run outside without shoes on and took down the banner hanging on the camper before rushing back in and tossing it in the trash bag. When you look at the clock it’s just a couple minutes from 7:00 p.m. You bring the bag out to the porch before washing your hands. 
You don’t bother taking a shower as you change into your pajamas, setting your ring on your nightstand, not wanting to risk damaging it as you pull up a pair of sweats you don’t care about being ruined and an old shirt you wore when you painted the bathroom a month ago. Grabbing the apple off the counter you shove it into your sweatpants pocket. Shooting Maria one last text and turning your phone on do not disturb, you tell her to say goodnight to Ellie for you before slipping your sneakers on and heading out the back door once more. 
You don’t like going to the barn alone, and you should have put on a proper jacket, without the sun to warm you, your skin prickles with goosebumps. The dark doesn’t frighten you very much anymore, and it’s easy to follow the familiar path even in the dark. Your phone flashlight illuminates the ground in front of you as you walk, you’re trying to remember if there is a specific sheep Ellie isn’t attached to.
Most of the flock is sleeping save for a few stragglers, you decide not to overthink it, grabbing a lead and putting it over the head of the first sheep that’s brave enough to greet you. The unlucky winner is one of the older sheep, making its way over to you the second you open the gate. You reward her bravery with the apple in your pocket, the only sounds in the quiet night are those of chewing as you walk her back towards the house. 
You swung your intertwined hands between the two of you as you walked through the trees behind his house. He must have worked startlingly fast to do that for you, no ones ever put in that sort of effort for you before. 
The sun is just starting to set behind you as he takes a step back and covers your eyes.
“Hey-” You start to object with a giggle as he continues walking you forward. 
“Oh hush, let this be a surprise.” He chuckles as he leads you further down the path before stopping abruptly and lifting his hands. “Surprise.” He whispers, taking a step back.
“Woah.” You exhale in shock as you stare at the barn in front of you. A white fence surrounding it. 
It’s beautiful. 
“Tommy and I grew up on a farm, we can raise whatever you want, pigs, sheep, chickens, anything you want.” He mumbles as he wraps his arms around you from behind, kissing your cheek. 
“I love that idea, but can I ask why?” You let out a nervous laugh as you turn to raise an eyebrow at him.
“That’s actually a part of your last surprise.” 
“Another?” Your voice pitches up, he built you a fucking barn, what else could he have done for you?
“I want you to know how serious I am about you moving in, I don’t want you to have any doubt.” He mumbles against your temple, inhaling deeply before pulling away and taking your hand one more time. “Come on.” He pulls you back towards the house as the sun sets for good, you walk in the darkness until he brings you to the basement entrance and pulls out the keys he’d offered you. 
Several locks adorn the basement entrance, you sift through your key ring until you find each lock's respective key, letting them drop into the grass as you remove each one. When you swing the heavy metal doors open you’re met with the welcoming warmth that comes from below. Several lamps and space heaters create a warm glow that beckons you down the steps. Almost immediately the sheep pulls away, bleating fearfully. Animals are far more intelligent than anyone gives them credit for, they know when something is wrong. 
You pull her down with you then reach up and let the doors slam down, sealing the poor thing in its tomb with you. 
You drop the lead once the doors are closed, there’s no point in leading the lamb any closer to the inevitable slaughter. 
“I have loved you since I first saw you in that bar. I have loved you every moment since, you could be cruel and terrible and I’d love you still and I’d probably deserve it. But you aren’t. You’re smart, and you care about everything, and you love everyone even if they aren’t worthy of it.” His hands caress your face as he whispers into the night air. “And you feel so much guilt for the things I do even though you shouldn’t. You can forgive me for all that I’ve done but it won’t change the fact that I’m still doing terrible things. I’ve done terrible things for so long that I didn’t really consider any other options, but you deserve other options.” 
He pulls open the basement doors once all the locks are undone, and offers his hand to you. 
“I want to show you that I can change, that I would do anything you need me to do, be anything you need me to be.” 
It’s your choice, take it or leave, he won’t hold it against you if you crack and can’t handle it anymore. But you need him to keep yourself together in the first place so you take his calloused hand in yours and let him lead you down into the darkness. 
The smell of vanilla and pine is dense down here. 
As you descend further down the steps you see the familiar set up, a few lamps and lanterns are scattered throughout the darkness as well as a couple space heaters that are only there for your benefit. A mattress you insist on putting sheets on is pushed against one of the scratched up walls, the blankets and pillows scattered about the space, you walk over to the mess, picking up the scattered quilts as you throw everything back down on the mattress. You can feel the movement behind you, the scratching against the cement as you lay down, even with the heaters it’s cold. Thankfully you know you’ll be warm enough soon.
The panicked baa’s of the sheep are swiftly silenced, replaced with the wet tearing sound that once would have filled you with dread. It’s a bit morbid how comforting you now find them, you roll over as you pull another blanket up over yourself, watching the iron chains drag across the floor as the unseen figure pulls them in different directions. 
You can see movement dancing on the edges of the lamp light, the smell of blood is almost as prominent now as the suffocating sweetness. A smile begins to tease the corners of your mouth as you hear him moving closer, the familiar, gravely voice that calls out from the dark recesses of the basement fills your ears like warm honey. 
“C’mere, bunny.”
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a/n : that's a wrap on oh honey folks, once again im sorry i made yall wait so long, i hope it was worth it &lt;3
i no longer have a tag list but for fic updates follow @lincolndjarinnotifs !!
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lucky-bishop · 2 months
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messy draft monday
Thanks for the tags @like-lazarus and @dear-massacre! I am absolutely a mess today (on brand for me) so I'm posting late but I'm still posting! Not tagging anyone bc it's so late but if you'd like to do it feel free!
From some progress I made recently on my "Stiles gets bit by a grindr hookup" Steter fic!
Stiles firmly does not want to call Peter, but he is one of his alphas, and that deserves respect. Peter picks up on the fourth ring, voice bleary with sleep although a bit more put together than Scott, and Stiles winces. He’s cracked enough jokes before about Peter and his beauty sleep to know that the alpha genuinely hates having his sleep interrupted, but he knows it’d be worse if he didn’t call immediately. “Stiles? It’s two o’clock in the morning. Shouldn’t you be out carousing with your human friends?” “So, about that, I actually was, and then I decided to come home and hook up with this guy who was close on grindr, and - “ “Stiles, we’ve been over this. You don’t need to report all of your sexual exploits to the entire packs, and frankly - “ “He bit me, Peter. He’s an alpha, and I’m turning. I’m not showing any signs of bite rejection, but I wanted you to know - “ The call disconnects before Stiles can say another word, and he sighs heavily. Peter will be here soon enough, and since he still seems like he’s doing alright, it’s time to get Spencer out of here before the Hale alpha shows up. Stiles gets out of bed, wincing at the bite that hasn’t started healing yet on his side, and makes his way out to the living room. “Looks like I’m gonna turn and be fine. You should give me your contact info and then get out of here.” “Wait, you want my number? I didn’t think you’d want to see me again.” “Because you’ll have to help in the ritual to transfer me to one of my packs, dude.” Stiles cuts him off. “Oh,” Spencer replies, then digs his phone out of his pocket and hands it to Stiles, who does the same back. They exchange their information, and then Spencer makes a half-hearted protest to stay, which Stiles completely dismisses. There's no way an unfamiliar alpha werewolf - who fucking bit him nonetheless - is sticking around. Plus Stiles doesn't hate the guy, and he wouldn't unleash a tired and incredibly pissed off Peter Hale on somebody unless he really had a bone to pick with them. “Trust me, dude, you do not want to be here when my alpha gets here.” That’s enough to get him to leave, thankfully. Stiles doesn't think about calling Peter "his alpha" - he and Scott both are, of course, and Peter is the one that's going to show up right away. Scott will show up, too, but Stiles downplayed the urgency to him. He downplayed it to Peter, too, of course, but Peter is much less inclined to believe him on behalf of his general personality.  There's some pain from the bite, but it's not unbearable. Stiles' confidence in his survival increases every minute. The mark hasn't started healing quite yet, but it's not bleeding anymore, and he's not showing any signs of rejection, thankfully. Stiles cleans himself up as best he can - both from the hookup and from the bite - gets dressed in his comfy clothes because even though he knows Peter will have several things to say about the way he's dressed, and waits. He's not left waiting too long before there's a frantic knocking at his door. He jumps to answer it and Peter pushes his way into his space immediately, grabbing at Stiles and looking him over.  "Where did he bite you? Is it healing properly?" Stiles shoulders Peter off of him and gets the door closed - he doesn't want to disturb the neighbors. He lifts up his shirt to show off the bite to Peter, who immediately drops to inspect it. In the time since Stiles has stopped monitoring it so closely, it's started to slowly heal. Peter breathes out a relieved sigh, then glares up at Stiles from his position on the floor. "How could you let this happen?" And Stiles is not going to put up with that bullshit. "I didn't let anything happen. I thought I was having a normal, human hookup! When he asked if he could bite me I thought it was going to be hot. Not this. I never - I guess - I mean I thought since I escaped it for so long - " "I'm sorry, that was out of line." And Peter's apologizing, now? Maybe Stiles actually is going to die.
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woofwoofwolf · 10 months
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Go home, Hobie Brown
Hobie brown x reader
Part 2:
Notes: Alt reader, Aro Ace spec reader but this fic is still romantic in nature (bc im aro ace and this is wish fulfilment, so dont come for me if this doesnt line up with your lived experience), fluff, reader has anxiety over liking Hobie and he teases reader for it a lil, reader remains GN but might have a writing bias towards fem, nicknames: babe and sweetheart, Hobie and reader are adults, use of (y/n), no phonetic spelling of Hobies accent, brit wtitten by a European sue me
The type of alt space the reader belongs to is up to you. Alt meaning alternative, as in subculture spaces. I'm alt myself so this comes from experience. Get stared at a lot lol
Pls dont repost anywhere thx ✨️
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There was a rush to the exit of the classroom. You were always slow packing your intricately decorated book-bag and were one of the last to leave.
"Thank you professor, have a nice rest of your day."
"See you on monday, (y/n)." The professors always knew your name, despite having so many students. Another curse or blessing (depending on the situation or your point of view) of dressing alternatively - people never seem to forget you.
You opened the door but immediately slammed it shut again, causing the professor to look back up at you.
"Oh. Hehe... sorry..." you turned back to the classroom. No other exits. Maybe you could jump out of the window?
But before you could reconsider your escape plan, the originator - or should I say instigator - of your panic and embarrassment entered the room with the heavy steps of his well-worn boots.
"Hey there," said Hobie Brown, as confident as always. "What are you up to,"
You felt an unwanted warmth crawl up your neck. You had always told your friends that romance wasn't for you and that you weren't going to date anyone just to 'find out.' You weren't ever ashamed of not ever having been attracted to someone before, but man, were you ever unprepared to have a crush as an adult.
You met Hobie through Gwen. From the moment he met you, it was as if a switch flipped inside of him. He decided that he liked you and that he wanted you. He had told you so right away.
"You single?" You were sure he didn't even know your name at that point. He liked the way you expressed yourself, and although you usually hated how people would pretend to know what you were about only from the way you dressed, it was like Hobie actually understood you in just a glance.
You felt it right to tell him that you didn't do dating, but it wouldn't leave your throat. Never had you been confessed to before, and you didn't know what to even say.
He started showing up places, more and more, he became an unpredictable part of your circle. You didn't know how to process him.
"Let's match pace together. You feel me?" He'd say.
"No, I don't, actually,"
But slowly, you did. It felt as if your slow and monotone life started to pick up some speed, all the while you felt more in tune than ever. You wondered if the pace of his life had slowed down a bit in return, but you were too scared to consider what he might specifically be feeling for you and why. You doubted he wasn't being genuine, but you had no idea why he insisted on you.
You'd bicker with him (oh. It was so fun to bicker with him- wait were you flirting with him?), but when Gwen asked if you wanted her to tell him to leave you alone, you told her not to. Which only further fanned the flames of Pav's incessant 'shipping' of the both of you.
And so, you realised that for the first time in your life, you felt something for someone. And you were completely unprepared to tackle it.
"I can't believe it, coming to see me while I'm at uni."
Your eyes shot back and forth from Hobie and the professor who looked at the both of you with sparkling curiosity. Even the small remainder of the otherwise consistently disinterested students were all looking at you. Dressing alternatively, you were used to people staring, but now you just felt embarrassed, as if even talking to him was the equivalent of making out in the middle of the room.
"You told me when your classes were yourself," Hobie reminded you with a little smirk, picking up on your embarrassment.
"No but-" you huffed. "this is harassment-"
"You know, I'll leave if you tell me to?" He teased, back straight, hands in his pockets. "You can say it, sweetheart. I believe in you. Say 'Go home, Hobie Brown'!"
You glared at him, yet no sound dared to leave your throat.
"C'mon babe, say it," he leaned forward challenging your gaze.
Both of you held it there for a couple of seconds. A pin could drop in that classroom and everybody would hear it.
Finally, after that afore-mentioned warmth reached your cheeks and had become visible to all, you broke.
"You like dunkin'?" You muttered, walking towards the door. You swore you could hear some students chuckle or gasp, and you wanted to get out as quickly as possible.
Hobie whistled and followed, just a few steps behind you, never actually invading your personal space until you were ready, "Asking me on a date? Now, that's bold,"
"It's not a date. But you ARE buying. I want a smoothie. And a donut, of course."
"Taking advantage of me now babe?"
"And why shouldn't I? If you're going to cling to me like a magnet, I might as well make use of you." You briefly stopped, and Hobie nearly walked into you. You peered up at him, batting your lashes. "You know I really don't know what you see in me. Maybe you better run home while you're ahead."
"Depends," Hobie said, ecstatic every time you took his bait. "Will you be going with me?"
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Two fics in one day??? What is going on. Anyways hope you enjoyed, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK, don't be shy to talk to me lol
You know as someone who's aro ace spec, I find an escape in fictional characters and the idea that they could be the ones to finally sweep me off my feet and get me to feel some type of attraction. It sounds cringy and emberassing, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it. If you're like me then I hope this scratched some kind of itch for you lol.
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makethatelevenrings · 11 months
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Somewhere Only We Know - ONE
Chapter Warnings: goodbye earl (pet death), spoilers for 2x01 kinda??, this is a bit rushed bc it’s exposition but we get into the fun stuff next chapter
Masterlist
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“Oh fucking hell.”
You hadn’t expected the first game of your new job to end like this but here you were creating Canva tribute posts for a deceased dog. Keeley directed you to make sure that you were focusing on solely sympathetic posts and honoring Earl. You had the press conference pulled up on one of your monitors to ensure you were catching what was being said along with the social media feeds.
And of course Ted Lasso did an excellent job honoring Earl. That man made your life easier.
A knock sounded on your office door and you raised your head to find Keeley peeking into your office. “You survived your first day! Better than Earl, I’d say.”
You choked back a laugh and motioned her to come in. “Christ, Keels, poor things not even buried yet.”
“Sorry, sorry. I just wanted to come see how you were getting on. Rebecca looked at the Insta with me and I have to say, your graphics are a hoot. Are you up for a task to do sometime this week?”
“Yeah, of course. It is my job, after all.”
She grinned. “Right, right. Well, Rebecca bought Barkingham Palace in honor of Earl and I would love it if you could go get some photos and videos with the dogs. They have some named after the players too! We have some little dog jerseys you can bring with you.”
“I can do that. Anything in particular you want to see?”
She bounced up onto her feet and shook her head. “Nope! Make it cute, make it fun. I know you’ll do a great job. You’re doing fabulous, babes.”
Raising your coffee mug in salute, you returned back to your work as she fled your tiny office in a wash of pink and glitter. Considering the tasks she could have given you, hanging out with a bunch of dogs wasn’t bad.
Three days later, you found yourself at Barkingham Palace with a golden retriever demanding pets and a staffie jumping up in an attempt to lick your face. You laughed in delight as dogs scrambled around you. You had successfully slid little Richmond jerseys over a few of the dogs heads and now a tiny Pomeranian was proudly sporting a Rojas jersey. A Border Collie wore a visor and whistle and you snapped a picture. You sent that one to Coach Lasso and received a GIF of a dog laughing in response.
Two Spaniels with McAdoo and Zoreaux jerseys made a great video with the way they tumbled over each other. One of the media guys you had recruited for help with capturing photos got a few shots of you being tackled by a Labrador wearing a Bumbercatch jersey.
The dogs were so cute that you even put your information down to volunteer in the future when you and Mikey, the photographer, packed up for the day. There was one little dachshund that kept following you around but there was no way you could get a dog, especially when your new job required you to travel frequently. Volunteering would help get in some well deserved snuggles.
By the time you got home, a few texts were waiting for you. Keeley asked for a few picture previews so you fired off some of the photos you had taken on your phone. One was from Higgins reminding you to swing by HR on Monday to finalize your travel waivers. Two were from unknown numbers who identified themselves as Sam Obisanya and Colin Hughes. They both sent friendly texts welcoming you to the team and you made a mental note to figure out what their favorite dessert was so you could make it for their birthdays. You sent a thank you text to both of them and sent them each a photo with a dog in their jersey.
Stripping off your fur covered clothes, your first priority was to take a shower before curling up on the couch and editing these photos for your post tomorrow. The TV played in some low drone in the background, some kind of stupid reality dating show where hot people dated and fucked like rabbits. It was mind numbing and didn’t require thought and you liked having something playing in the background as you worked.
You had a few videos already on the Instagram story from today and you went to check the engagement. Swiping your finger along the screen, you were relieved to see thousands of views and shares. People loved puppies and they loved football. If you combined the two, it was gold. One of the videos of you getting tackled by some of the loveable dogs made it in and people were loving it. Rebecca even texted you with a, “LOVE! So cute!!” so you were feeling great about your work.
Verified accounts were bumped to the top and you recognized a few of the players names. Zoreaux, Jan Maas, and a few others had viewed the stories, along with a name you didn’t recognize. Jamie Tartt. Was he the guy from that one underwear model? Or was he the Givenchy ad? You looked up at your television screen. Oh, never mind. He was the reality TV show manwhore.
Exiting Richmond's account, you changed your Instagram over to yours. There was far less engagement, but your simple baking account didn’t appeal to as many people as a football league. You loved designing different desserts, trying out recipes, and balancing out flavor combinations. Combined with your love for photography and design, you had a pretty prolific home baking account. It was the account you showed Keeley as your portfolio and now she and Rebecca both followed you. Oddly enough, Higgins did too.
Your face was rarely in the photos because you ran a one-woman show, but occasionally a friend would snap a great candid. Most of your pictures were treats, flowers, cool spots around London, or whatever you found cool. You liked showing your personality through photos and you didn’t care if your face wasn’t in there. The memories were present and that’s what mattered.
A few new followers had joined the fray and you were surprised to see some of the Richmond players among them. It wasn’t like you hid the account, but it wasn’t something you advertised as your name. Keeley must have told them.
But then there was that name again. Jamie Tartt. Why would some footballer turned reality star care about your panna cotta fails and award-winning lemon bars? Why would a guy who isn’t even playing for Richmond want to follow you, the social media manager?
Fuck it. It was too late to question the motives of some stranger. He was just another follower. Another number for engagement profiles. Maybe he was just interested in your slutty brownie recipe. Whatever, you needed to sleep so you could get to the stadium tomorrow and get these photos out.
Tag list: @shiptheship​
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papurgaatika · 10 days
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Howdy howdy buddies and happy mando Monday!!! Let's discuss my favorite boy!!!
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(also this photo??? he's so soft I'll die)
Din cannot cook to save his life, like at all. He's been living off of ration packs for years and I think if you make him a homemade meal he'd melt into a puddle
BUT he's definitely a clean freak. He kept everything in a designated spot during all his years on the crest so the idea of a junk drawer stresses him out
Okay I know I said he can't cook and that he hasn't had a home cooked meal in decades but that boy will devour a sweet treat. like if you manage to find a little hard candy he'll pop one in his mouth and then put the helmet on
Re this last one, his kisses would then taste like whatever the star wars equivalent of a jolly rancher would be (my vote is he's a watermelon flavor kinda guy)
I know we saw his hair in the show, but I think he lets it get long under the helmet. He has to cut it himself and doesn't have the time to do it regularly so there's periods where his curls are just snaking down his neck and he only cuts it when it gets to a point where he can't push it up and out of his face
Also with cutting his hair,,,, he's not good at it?? He's taking scissors and snipping off as much as he needs to, but there's a bunch of uneven wonky bits in the back
Clearly he's touchstarved and immediately crumbled when you held his hand for the first time, but now he can't sleep without yalls fingers interlocked
LITTLE!! SPOON!! HE'S THE LITTLE SPOON!!!!!
He takes 3 minute cold showers *cough cough go read my fic cough cough*
He's definitely an acts of service person. Fixing things you mention offhand, letting you sleep in and making breakfast, things to just make your day easier.
But he LOVES words of affirmation!! he NEEDS words of affirmation. Like look at him, that's a sad sad man who needs to be told he's perfect and that he's your good boy
He's definitely put grogo in a baby bjorn. No I'm not accepting anyone's opinions on this.
I hope yall enjoyed this bc I love thinking about him so much. He's literally the love of my life, I can never love a real person how I love him, but yk what I'm okay with that!! Peace and love everyone, here's a photo of me every night before I go to bed <3
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Back at the pool today. Hope to continue into tomorrow.
Today was Super Bowl Sunday. The gym was packed but the pool wasn’t that busy. I was able to swim my entire 30 min exercise without a kickboard bc they didn’t have any available. I am feeling pretty good about it.
Came home and made some snacks for the Super Bowl. We had pigs in a blanket, hot wings and carrot sticks. We had to watch it on paramount + and it kept cutting out. Glad I didn’t miss the final touchdown.
I didn’t goto church today. I wasn’t feeling well. I am trying to get back into the groove of things. I’m concerned about some stuff that’s got me all anxious. Gonna go read a bit then get ready for Monday.
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cupoftaae · 1 year
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Forever and a day (KTH x READER) series♡ silent treatment cant last forever (chapter 5)
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Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.
Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.
Pairing: taehyung x female!reader
rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)
word count- 4.1k
chapter warnings: swearing, tae is struggling :( kaito is a fucking LOSER and does a bad thing. literally all I can say is SORRY in advance !! mentions of domestic violence and abuse. Quick mention of pregnancy
A/N- I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I have most of these already written out, but I like to take time and add ideas as I go along. I kinda came up with a plot twist that will eventually play out, just dont hate me. What can I say? I love angst. ALSO- chapter 6 will be out this weekend possibly, if not, then monday ;) just a treat bc ily guys
"he's such a fucking dumbass" Kaito scoffs and takes a sip of his wine, collapsing back onto the couch next to you. You remained quiet as he ranted after you told him about the night you had.
Immediately after coming back to the apartment with taehyung, you two ended up fighting again. Something about him being childish, you being self centered, him being nosey, and you not being the old you. What does that even mean? You havent changed at all, its him who is always starting these fights.
after that, you packed a bag and ran over to your boyfriends house. It wasnt where you wanted to be, exactly, but you needed a place to hide.
"I dont think he is a dumbass, I just think....hes....i dont know? having a midlife crisis?" you shrugged, leaning into your boyfriends touch.
"midlife crisis....at the ripe age of 23 years old?"
"yeah, I think he is always comparing himself to me, and hes confused about who he wants to be. He wishes he stayed in college so bad, he even signed up for this little credit art course they ha-"
"art??" kaito laughed covering his mouth for a moment
"yeah" you turned around to look at him
"so he thinks finger painting will help him snap into being an adult?"
you stared at him, scrunching your face up in thought. Yeah, you kinda poked at tae and made jokes, but you didnt mean any harm deep down. Maybe you dont understand his little desire to paint away his feelings, but watching kaito laugh about it is different, because he means it. You suddenly felt guilty for talking about him behind his back, even if he was a dick for yelling at you a few hours ago.
"he enjoys it, its kinda cute. If its helping him back onto his feet then who cares...its not like he quit his job or anything, kaito."
"cute? more like immature"
"hey, cmon, leave him alone"
"you cant seriously be defending him"
"I just dont like talking about people behind their back, you know?"
"whatever" he scoffed, taking a sip of his drink before pulling you onto his lap. "wait..." he stopped, thinking before laughing. "I thought....I thought you said you were sick?"
Your heart stopped the minuet he spoke, how could you forget your own fucking lie, more importantly, how is he just catching this?
"Oh I was feeling better, mhm. This morning I felt like shit but I figured it would be better to suck it up and go to the dinner anyways, should have stayed home!" you blurted out and got off his lap, standing to your feet.
"right" he eyed you, standing up as well as he put his drink down. "well....do you wanna go to bed?" he asked, doing that stupid smirk face that made you somewhat angry.
"uhm, well, yeah, but im really tired kai, also im still not feeling 100% you know? so, maybe we should sleep. just..sleep." you nodded quickly and turned around on the ball of your heel, only to be yanked around by the wrist.
Your eyes widened in shock at the sudden action from him, heart pounding in your ears. Was he drunk? who knows, but that was not an ok thing to do regardless.
"let go of me, what the fuck?" you breath out, trying to tug your hand out of his tightening grip.
"you arent lying to me about Taehyung right?"
"what? What are you talking ab- let go!"
"you wouldnt lie to avoid me, right? you and him arent doing shit behind my back?" he asked, anger in his voice, something youve never seen.
"No! theres nothing!! I promise, I was just sick and, kai you are scaring me please!" you whine, mad at the tears that showed up so quickly. He saw your eyes and immediately let go, making you yank yourself backwards quickly, allowing the tears to fall as you hugged yourself.
"oh my god, im so sorry baby, I didnt mean to d-"
You both looked down at the mark left on your wrist from his grip
"shit, im so.....im so sorry, y/n, listen-"
"get away from me!!" you yelled, "Im sleeping in the guest room, d-dont come in, sober the fuck up and dont touch me again, I swear to God..." your voice shakes as you spoke, aware that if he really wanted to, he could hurt you again.
you saw regret in his face, but it didnt matter. jealousy has always been an issue for him, but its never shown like this....it was scary.
you turn quickly to run upstairs, hiding in his guest bedroom and locking the door, you wanted to leave but also didnt have anywhere to go exactly. You promised to meet up with your friend Dahyun tomorrow for lunch, so you would have to ask her to pick you up earlier.
kaito looked at the wine glass that had spilled without him even knowing, sighing and sitting with his face in his hands instead of going after you.
-
Taehyung woke up the next morning in the same state he had fell asleep: mad, clothed, dirty, and missing you.
He knew he was fighting you when it was happening, but there was just an overstimulation of emotions that had over poured, and unfortunately, you happened to be the punching bag.
He made a mental note to call his parents and explain later as he walked into your room. you were still not there. Given the things he said, you doesn't blame you, however he would like to apologize.
He walked into the kitchen and looked at all the food, well, more like ingredients for meals he doesnt know how to make. You said something last night to him about him needing to depend on you with everything, including meals. It hurt, but it was right. He sighed and closed the fridge, moving to go sit on the couch in the quiet apartment before opening his phone to his social media’s.
He hated to see other people and how well they were doing, but he found himself online more often then he used to be, maybe it was to inspire or motivate him, he wasn’t sure. He scrolled across Annie’s art page, stopping to pay extra attention to one post in particular.
She was good, her art was something people would pay money to see, he understood why she would be in all the art classes she could find. The post showed her setting up at the banquet hall a few streets down, something about an art fair. Tae smiled and like the post, wanting to know more about it. He contemplated dming her, eventually just giving in and doing so.
Taehyung: hello Annie, it’s taehyung, you probably know that because you can see my name, anyways, I saw your recent post and was wondering what you were setting up for?
He tapped his phone with his fingers, feeling odd to text someone who wasn’t, well, you.
He was surprised to see her answer quickly
Annie: hey tae :)) i was hoping you would text soon enough. I’m setting up for an art festival at the Julie banquet hall! You should totally come if you aren’t busy :0!!!
He laughed and bit his nail, suddenly hearing your voice in his head telling him not to do that...bad habit.
He texted back
Taehyung: when is it?
Annie: it’s being held this entire week for a viewing, but next weekend there is a contest....winner gets a prize!
taehyung smiled and looked around, that could be huge for him. Maybe this was the universal sign from the universe he needed, a sign that his rash decisions were actually working out for him. He knew he probably wouldn’t be able to go down today, for obvious reasons other than the fact he needs a shower.
He also needed to prepare something worth winning, and that required time.
Taehyung: oh wow...that sounds really interesting. I’ll probably be down later this week, thanks for letting me know.
He tossed his phone to the side and began to head for his room, knowing that he wouldn’t leave until he created a masterpiece.
As fun as this was, he had to admit, it was a good distraction from you.
-
"How come kai couldnt just drop you off?" Dahyun looked over at you, taking a bite of her sandwich. "well, he was a bit hungover, he had a lot to drink last night" you cleared your throat, sipping your water.
It had been a while since you and your friend saw eachother, and going out for lunch together was nice, a step away from all the boy drama going on. You were in college, and you just wanted to do normal stuff and leave the high school shit behind.
Dahyun sat back and looked you over, concern on her face. "sweetheart are you alright?"
"why wouldnt I be?
"because you look like shit, in the nicest way. Have you been sleeping?"
you laugh, looking down at your hands, "yeah, ....well, no"
"mhm, whats going on?"
"tae and I got into a fight last night, and it was just really annoying because we are always fighting nowadays, I hate it."
"is that why you were at kaitos?"
you nodded, eyes looking out the window. "I should have just stayed at the apartment though. I hate to admit it but I kinda miss him, he hasnt texted me" you sighed and re-checked your phone.
"hes a grown man, y/n, he can handle shit"
you looked at your friend, quick to remind yourself that they dont see the true venerability of taehyung like you do, they dont know that he's just emotional and feels things differently than others, so as much as you hate to say it....he cant take care of himself.
"mm" you shrug, taking a bite of a fry. "lets just talk about something else?" you suggest
"okay, let me think...." dahyun smiled to herself, searching her brain for something to talk about. "Oh did you hear about chae?" she suddenly spoke up
"no, what about her? is she ok?"
"dude she had such a pregnancy scare, she called me 2 nights ago because she was fully convinced she was preggo....shes not though so its alright" she shrugged
your eyes widened at your friends words, "what?...how did I not know this? why didnt she call me?"
"well, not to start anything but...we kinda have been calling and texting you, but you dont seem to have time anymore, which is perfectly fine, but we miss you."
you slumped down into your seat, food on the plate in front of you has now gone cold and unedible. "I dont know, man. Life is so messy right now, theres just so much going on. I miss you guys like crazy, we need to plan like a sleepover or a girls weekend." you suggest, leaning into the palm of your hand sadly.
"hey, y/n, just breathe, everything will be okay. If you are free next weekend I know a friend of mine is throwing a really fun party, i'll text you the info if you are down to go?"
you smiled hopefully, not that you were the super most outgoing person on campus, but the idea of going to a party with other kids seemed like a set up to meet some new people.
"Dahyun that sounds really fun, yes please send me the info, is chae going?" you ask, pulling out your phone
"mhm, yep...but we are gonna have to keep her with us because her boyfriend is going...well now ex boyfriend considering they broke up over this whole 'almost pregnant' scare, and-"
you quickly shut out your friends voice as you checked your socials, suddenly coming across a photo taehyung had posted on his story of a painted canvas, seemed normal enough, except the fact someone was there with him. at your apartment.
you whip your head up, "I think I have to go, im sorry, uh, something just came up and I need to get home, but uhm, you'll have to text me about nate and chae!" you spoke quickly, grabbing your purse and standing. "Thank you for having me out, I really needed it. Dont forget to text me the party details!!" you sing as you hug her and make a dash for the door.
-
You exited the elevator and made your way down the hall quickly, searching for your keycard in your over packed purse before bumping into someone and falling to the floor.
"ow? hel-, oh.." you quiet down when your eyes meet the person waiting outside your apartment door. kaito.
"What are you doing here?" you quickly stood to your feet and brushed past him, still searching for the key.
"baby, you havent answered my calls, we need to talk about last night. Im so sorry, I never meant to make you feel unsafe, im going through so much and I just....I just, I dont know what happened, but im so sorry!" he rambled quickly, touching your back and making you stop your movements.
"kaito..."
"i know, im so sorry, i suck and im an asshole and you probably hate me, I would too"
you sighed as your hands fell to your sides, turning to face him. "you....you arent an asshole, dont say that." you breathe out, grabbing his hand "just promise me you'll cut down on the drinking or something...I dont wanna see that again." you felt guilt throughout your chest as he looked down.
"I promise, baby, I will"
you pulled him into a hug and squeezed him, rubbing his back and moving to kiss his cheek. "head home, now, please" you whispered, watching his face fall.
"wait why? I was hoping we could hang out or make food or something?" he gestures towards your front door. "hm, Im sorry kai, maybe after classes sometime this week, I have to handle something right now...you know how he is" you quieted your voice at the last part, watching your boyfriend nod.
"okay....just, uh, text me ok?"
you smiled and nodded, "of course"
once he made a turn for the hall, you placed your keycard into the door and walked into the apartment to see Annie and Taehyung in the kitchen. You usually werent too keen on having random people in your house, you and tae promised to not invite others there without letting eachother know.
"y/n..." tae turned and saw you, making annie stop whisking whatever was in the bowl she held.
"tae" you nod, waving quietly to the short girl behind him. "didnt know there was something going on today" you joke, putting your bag down and walking in with arms crossed over your body.
"I just invited her over because it was a little too quiet over here" he joked, looking at her and smiling.
"ah I see" you smile and lean against the island counter. "what are you guys making?"
"apple pie" annie cheerfully responds, moving to her phone to change the song that was playing
"oh, yummy" you awkwardly reply, somewhat angry that she was in your kitchen and took it upon herself to use your ingredients that you bought yourself.
"tae, can we talk?" you turn to him, talking quietly.
"yeah..." he looked over at annie, "ill be right back"
she replied with a thumbs up before returning to her baking, reading the recipe off tae's phone.
You led him into your room before shutting the door and leaning against it, the boy looking back at you like he was expecting to get yelled at. "I'm sorry" you exhale, "For the other night, I dont wanna keep doing this with you" you shrug
"I dont wanna fight with you either." he spoke simply, biting the inside of his cheek nervously.
"I dont...I dont really know whats been going on with us but I rather just sit and be your friend than your enemy, you know"
he nodded, "you are right, and Im sorry too, all that shit I said, I didnt mean it, It was out of frustration which still isnt okay bu-"
you cut him off with a hug, "its okay"
he took a moment before wrapping his arms around you in return, "Are you mad she is here?" he whispered, "no...just wish you would have texted me...."
"i know, im sorry" he shook his head, sighing. "um, also, my parents called and I explained kinda the situation simply and they seemed to understand somewhat. I spoke honestly with them about how their words effected me and shit, and they said they would try to stop...well...mostly my mom will try to stop" he laughed, making you smile.
"they want us to go over to their house before they go back home, sometime later this week. I know you have classes and stuff but even if its just for one night over there, ill drive you to school in the morning if you need" he added.
"okay, we will work it out, im proud of you for sticking up for yourself" you laughed softly, making him look down shyly. "did you take your medication today?" you remembered to ask suddenly
he looked up at you and pressed his lips together before hesitantly shaking his head, "uh...I forgot.."
you sigh, "okay, lets go take it" you grabbed his hand and went back into the kitchen, brushing past annie to get to the medicine cabinet.
You took notice of how the girl eyed you and your hand against his, making you smirk to yourself. Even if you and tae were just friends, you knew no one would ever be able to squeeze between you both, not kaito nor annie.
"here, bubs" you whisper, handing him his pill and a water bottle
"whats that?" annie spoke up, cutting up apples on your good cutting board you didnt even get to use yet, making your eye twitch.
"allergy meds" taehyung spoke up, taking a sip of water as you look back at him with sympathetic eyes, his face telling you to just not say anything. His ADHD was something he assumed he should be ashamed of, something people would always use to blame his behavior on.
He didnt want to be that, he just wanted to be Taehyung.
Annie nodded and patted her hands on her apron before moving to the next thing, engaging in conversation with taehyung. "so what were you saying before she came in?" she asked, catching you off guard as you threw your hands up and walked over to tidy the living room area.
"Oh I was just talking about the art thing and how-"
"tae.." you stopped fluffing the pillows to turn to him, making annie sigh as you once again interrupted their conversation.
"what?" he looked around, confused.
"why arent you working? todays a work day?"
"oh, uh-...."
Annie smiled, "I didnt know you had a job, where do you work?"
Tae looked between the two of you before speaking up, "well...I used to work at this buisn-"
"used to? you got fired??" you walked over and held his arm
"no no....I quit, like....last week" he huffed, seeming relieved to get it off his chest. "tae, why did you, what?? why would you do that?" you looked at him seriously, knowing that there was no income for you two anymore.
"because I plan to apply for college again, I have a whole thing in the works, y/n, I promise, I didnt just do it on a whim" he spoke quickly
"y/n, he can handle himself" annie sarcastically spoke with a smile
"kindly leave please, him and I need to talk" you finally looked back at her, making her plead to taehyung.
"what? but we were doing something!" she puts the rolling pin down when tae shrugged, "im sorry annie, ill text you okay?" he walked her out before apologizing again and shutting the door.
"well aint she the sweetest" you scoff and collapse on the couch. "come here please" you spoke calmly, wanting to approach this correctly. Taehyung walked over slowly and sat on the couch next to you, keeping his body close and away from you.
You took a deep breath in and looked at him, "tae, honey, why did you do that?"
he shrugged, sighing.
"look at me"
he turned his head around to you after a few seconds, revealing the tears in his eyes. "tae..."
you are quick to wrap him into your arms, "its ok, im not mad. I just wish you told me, everything makes more sense now" you mumble
"Im sorry for not saying anything, I was just so unhappy working there and I just had to leave" he chokes out, face hidden into your shoulder. your hand finds his hair as he gently pulls away.
"i'll find a side job or something, but I really am serious about this school thing" he quickly muttered as you wiped his tears.
"Its okay...I can probably pick up tutoring for Mrs.Chin again, she pays well and if I do it after classes everyday it'll probably be enough to sustain rent" you sigh, rubbing his arm.
you watched as the boys face was filled with regret and sadness, making your heart split in two. "dont tell my parents, please" he whispers
"no...of course not" you smile lightly, "ive learned my lesson"
Taehyung laughed and leaned back against the end of the couch, head looking up at the ceiling. "so....we can talk more later if you like, but for now lets go finish making that apple pie" you leaned into him jokingly, making him laugh.
You two got up and walked into the kitchen "why did you let her use my cutting board" you pouted
"im sorry" he smiled shyly "If it counts, I know nothing about how to bake, and if I was the one making the pie we would all be food poisoned."
you laughed, "i'll teach you"
-
You two sat in Taehyungs bedroom, both eating a slice of apple pie as he played some game on his Xbox, you watching.
"so..." you began, scarping your fork on your plate. "art, huh?"
he paused his game and turned to you, smiling, "what?"
"youre passionate about it?"
"yeah, I suppose" he shrugged, watching you get up and walk over to his desk. "I saw these on instagram, they are actually quite nice" you added, eyeing them over as he came up behind you. "yeah, those were just some doodling to be honest." he itched his neck.
"but uh, im working on something big. Can I show you?" he spoke, watching you nod before pulling a canvas from his closet and placing it down.
The sketch included an empty, bare forest of trees in the center of a town square, details to a perfect ten on even the smallest things. "Its not done, not in the slightest but..."
"woah.....holy shit tae, you...wow" you were actually in awe. You knew he liked art, but this was beyond anything youve seen from him, it genuinely made you feel something. "this is really beautiful, is this pencil work?"
"thank you" he mumbled shyly, a blush on his face, "yeah, its pencil, I plan to add color to everything but the tree, itll remain black and white." he spoke, looking it over himself.
"does it mean anything?" you pondered aloud.
"well...its like this, trees lose everything they have in the winter, no leaves no flowers, nothing, right?" he spoke as you listened, "yet they still are just...there, while everything continues to progress and move around them, because they know if they wait, whats theirs will grow back."
"wow...." you said again, truly speechless by his work. Clearly you underestimated him, because this is beyond anything youve seen.
He looked at you lovingly before clearing his throat and putting it away again, "yeah... its for this art contest that Annie told me about. Winner gets like, a cash prize, im not sure how much, but it doesnt matter because they also win a trip to a really cool art museum in Paris" he looked back at you.
"Paris?...wow tae, I have no doubts you will win this"
"dont jinx it" he teased, walking back to his chair.
you put your hands up in defense, giggling. "so is it an art show?" you asked, following him
"yeah, I was actually gonna ask if you wanted to come....the exhibit is all this week and I plan on going on friday....was gonna ask if you'd wanna come with?" he spoke quietly, hopeful tone evident.
"hmm..I would love to" you smiled and grabbed his plate to clear, heading towards the kitchen
"oh, also...." he sat up, making you turn to him. "whats up?" you ask,
"I know this is kinda odd, but would you mind if you just...like, slept in here tonight?"
your eyes widened at him, making him feel like he overstepped
"I shouldnt have said that im sorry, I just didnt sleep last night and I always fall asleep quickly with you"
you giggled quietly, "no its okay, ill sleep here alright?" you watched his face light up , nodding
"thank you..."
-
"what happened to your arm?" tae asked as you climbed into his bed and shut the light off.
"what do you mean?" you were confused, sitting the side opposite of him. Taehyung pointed to your wrist, oh...yeah, that.
"oh I burnt myself, curling iron. wasnt paying attention" you sighed as he frowned. "be careful, ok?"
you nodded, "ok"
once you both were in and under the covers, the silence was welcoming. To be fair, you slept best here too, and the last time you laid here the circumstances were completely different, so it was a bit weird.
You laughed to yourself when you heard his soft snores after a few minuets, he wasnt joking. you lifted your arm and raised your fingers across your wrist.
be careful
there was so much to be careful about, and if only he knew the full extent of it.
You looked over at the sleeping boy next to you before turning to your side and closing your eyes, allowing yourself to just be here, in his bed, in this very moment, because it gave you the safety and comfort you needed so badly
be careful .....
taglist-
@turnthepageandbeburnt
@taebangtanbabe
@kthstrawberryshortcake-main
@borahaexoxo
@lelefoodlover
@tan-veee
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museum-spaces · 10 months
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Oh nerds, I have had a week of a week. Frist off; house keeping. I got the job in Vancouver and my last day at Camel Town was yesterday. I start in Van in 7 days.
Now for my week of weeks,
While still interviewing find the Perfect Place to live. A 2 bedroom condo in my price range available in time for my start date. Stop looking for other places.
Get job offer, tell new landlord to move forward, get emails from his rental company, look up rental company and see it is a real one that exists.
Make plans with Sister to transport Ianto and I to Vancouver. Sister's partner takes a day off work to help.
Send deposit of 3400CAD to rental company [deposit consists of 1 month rent 1700, and two damage deposits - one for Ianto -totalling 1700]. Normal and legal in Canada. Most places just ask for one of the deposits but not illegal.
Do all that by Friday [9th]
Walking Ianto at 6;30am on Monday 12th - 4 days before planned move in date - and get email from rental company asking for another deposit of 3400 as 'insurance' because they have been 'having issues with transactions from Canada and the United States'. Will not send keys and paperwork before getting the additional funds.
Think for a minute and reply something like 'Landlord and I agreed on 3400, which you have just confirmed you received. Please send the keys etc asap.'
Alarmingly quickly Landlord [not company] emails me to say company got in touch with him and this is their policy. He will give me 20 per cent off rent for first 6 months if I just send the money. [This is the first red flag I actually notice]. I replythat I am moving in 4 days and if the transaction takes as long as the first one, I won't have anywhere to live but be out a fuckton of money.
Calll my parents. It's 6;30 in BC but they are visiting Ontario where its 9;30. Not worried about waking them. Mum immediately offers to transfer the money for me because part of the issue is that I have to move money around to get that much which takes up to 48 hours. I cut her off and say 'I feels scammy' which dad agrees with.
Dad is a retired real estate agent, gets in contact with folk in BC a few hours later while I go to work and freak out [had already packed my anxiety meds... not fun]. Turns out 'Landlord' doesn't have title for the condo.
Also Rental Company email is very obvious fake. I googled the company but didn't check the email. Like a fool.
Tell 'landlord' that I cannot move that amount of money in the time allotted and would like my deposit back please [didn't expect to get it back but... its the presidency.]
Looked for another rental. Found one that wasn't dog friendly. Ianto is a service dog but is not yet certified to BC standards. Thought I'd give it a shot anyway. Called and was very frank; just got scammed, moving at end of week for work, have a dog. She gave me a short list of other rentals she knew accept dogs because she could not allow Ianto before his test.
Contacted a few, Ianto was too big for a few, filled out an application to one, and got a virtual tour set up for the other [this takes us to Tuesday].
Tuesday email my contact at job in Vancouver to let her know that I might not be able to start on the 22nd because no home. She [witn permission] then contacts my board to let them know. One has a line on an apartment.
Discover my mattress is very mouldy.
Application denied with no option to contest, virtual tour cancelled because property manager got sick and couldn't reschedule until this coming Monday.
Call my bank about the scam. They start an investigation which will take about 10 days and cancel my debit card because... I don't know. [bringing us to the end of Wednesday]
Application to board member's suggestion accepted. Need to pay the down payment which is just one of the damage deposits. They take in-person payments or money orders. Because my card is currently... gone. I cannot do online or app banking. Would have to do in-person or phone. Nearest branch to me is 2 hours away by car and I don't drive. Try calling. It takes over an hour to discover that because of the investigation I cannot get a money order done via the phone. Because that would be too easy.
Call my parents - they were busy - texted my brother. Asking both if they could help. Brother puts me in contact with his partner who would have their car tomorrow at the same time my parents offer to do a money order for me. Get the address etc from new rental company [legit]. Send confirmation.
Move in date is [probably] Saturday.
So, a very week of a week if I do say so myself and it's not over yet. I need to finish packing still [wall art, blankets, the last of Ianto's stuff and odds-and-ends]. Still need to get there. Chance the Money Order won't get there in time - as it has to go from Ontario to BC and tomorrow is Friday. but... Better position by miles than on Monday.
There is a small chance my bank can get my money back but.... Unlikely and it was a painful lot of money to say the least.
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rmoonstoner · 7 months
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9:30ish am, 08/18/23
All works are temporarily on hold due to a wild fire close to my home.
Sorry for any inconvenience.
❤️ 💙
Update: 10:17am
All I can hear over the street construction for sewer are the echos of sirens in the city. The street construction crews are still working on my street. That tells me we are safe. For now.
Update: 2:40pm
More sirens. The air is thick and heavy with smoke. Burning embers are now hitting my neighborhood. Multiple areas have had small fires start up. We have set up sprinklers and started dousing our property.
Update: 08/19/23 - 2:55pm
The air quality is worse than before. We managed to get to the stores and get supplies to stock our van and camper. Lots of businesses are closed for the weekend, and if not, they close way earlier than before. We are all loaded and ready to go at a moment's notice.
Update: 08/20/23 - 8:10am
The fire has grown to 11,000 hectares as of 7:20pm last night. Over 30,000 people have been evacuated from their homes. A lot of people I know are. Power outages keep happening. The skies are still so smokey, we cannot see the mountains we are very close to. It's hard to see the houses down the street. Fire crews from all over British Columbia have come to our aid, which we are thankful for, even though we have multiple other fires happening in BC. As of yet, I am still lucky enough to be in my home with my family. Rest assured, we are packed and ready to leave when necessary.
On a lighter note, it is my eldest son's birthday today. We hope to make the most of this day. 🎂 ❤️
Update: 08/21/23 - 7:41am
First of all, my son loved his birthday yesterday. He understands what is happening as he's a teenager, so he wasn't expecting a big get-together with the fires happening. He was super happy he got ice cream cake and a whole pizza for himself and one for his best friend who was able to come spend the day with him. We gave him video game programming gear, new keyboard, new headphones, and movie tickets.
Secondly, it looks about the same today as it did yesterday. With the smoke in the air, the sun is red and it's cold outside when it supposed to be warm. Less sirens and one area on the evacuation map (that I noticed) has turned from evacuation now, to alert. It means those people in that area can go home for now, if local law enforcement allows it.
Update: 08/22/23 - 7:20am
I forgot to mention that all airports in our region are grounded and have been for at least two days due to the smoke and ash in thee air. All Canada post mail (to our region) has been put on immediate hold due to safety concerns. This is will definitely put a wrench into other delivery companies as well.
It finally rained last night. It was off and on all night. The smoke has cleared up enough to see the faded outline of the mountains 1 km away from me, finally.
One thing that boggles my mind is that so many people seem not bothered by the wild fires.
• The old lady I help was confused as to why I could not come on Friday or Monday. She apparently doesn't believe in getting ready for evacuation unless it actually happens. I have a family of 6, and 2 cats. I have to get all these people ready, as 2 are children, and 2 are seniors. My husband just had hip surgery 3 months ago, so he needs more help than he normally does.
• My father ignored my mother's pleas to pack up her things and get ready for the possible evacuation. He's a boomer that used to be a workaholic, and now he's retired and believes it's his God given right to be a lazy slob. So I had to do everything.
• The neighbor just gets on his motorbike and decides that going for a ride up the FIRE STRIKEN MOUNTAIN is a good idea.
• Other neighbors decided to have a BONFIRE in their back yard, while ash falls from the sky onto their heads.
• People in the city had the audacity to fire off FIREWORKS this weekend.
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Like, wow.
Update: 08/23/23 - 1:00pm
It rained all night. The skies are clearer and breathable today. More of the red excavation zones have changed to orange alert areas. People are now being allowed back into their homes. Packages and mail has started to arrive today.
Update: 08/24/23 - 7:16am
Yesterday was cool and mildly windy. We have a little more smoke lingering in the air than yesterday, but it's still better than it was on the weekend.
☆☆☆
Stay safe out there!
❤️ 💙
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nicistrying · 4 months
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At 11pm last night, I finished the kitchen tiles 🤣🤣 for now. Just ordered another pack bc I need one more row in the microwave corner and I have a little bit of bare wall behind the spice rack. I think it looks cute though!
I also did almost all of my Christmas shopping yesterday! Spent a small fortune and I still have more to do at the supermarket today - bottles of booze, gift vouchers etc but the main thing is that it's done. Once I start work on Monday I'll be walking Maggie at 6am, leaving at 7.30, working til 4.30-5 and getting home at 6.30 so weekdays won't be an option, and I absolutely refuse to go anywhere near the shopping centre or town on a weekend in December 😂 so I'm proud of myself! It hurts that I've spent so much money in between jobs when I've had no income BUT I have to remember that 1) this is only temporary, 2) I've had time on my side which is a rarity so it made sense to go and do all this shopping and decorating etc while I can and 3) I have savings and this is precisely why. If I really get stuck I can dip into them and put the money back after I get my first paycheck but realistically I should be fine as I won't be spending anywhere near as much throughout December. It's all good 😌
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mdpikachu · 1 year
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ACTUALLY you know what. its 2 am. its no longer mephisto (fate) monday. all the sinners with small children, md style based on @iscabird​ ’s post except no tierlist and all stream of consciousness.
-yi sang: no. they’d just confuse the kids saying weird stuff and then go back to staring out a window while don kidnaps them all for an adventure.
-faust: fuck no. she’d have to dumb down everything she says to such a degree that Heathcliff would understand it. that is a joke. the smart kids would like her. she would explain how a truck/train eats people to 6 year olds.
-don: the kids would love her. she would love kids. i do not trust her with not accidentally murdering one bc they declared themselves the evil overlord of shit mountain. unarmed, she can be with children. but not alone. she would fight anyone for those kids though.
-ryoshu: no. art teacher if FORCED but really, no. and stop smoking.
-meursault: speaks in a simple way that kids can understand, but wouldn’t... DO anything. kid found an outlet with a fork? he aint gonna do anything. he’s just gonna watch, unless he was Specifically Told to prevent that. i’d rather not.
-hong lu: I’m not sure i trust him ALONE with children but they’d love him. permitted but not the best choice.
-heathcliff: you’re showing me one of the biggest guys here and one of the most angry, and you think I’m not gonna go “now cover him in kids”? he is not carrying that bat when 15 small children cling to him like a fireman’s pole and magnets. disclaimer: no idea if that’s magnetic. will google this.
-ishmael: she wouldn’t be happy about it but she can handle them. they’d absolutely be kept in order. we have food at home.
-rodion: yes except the kids might know poker by the end of the night. that’s a risk you’ll have to take.
-dante again: still yes 110%. they’re like a living muppet or cartoon character to at least one child. also, they’d cave to demands for LcDongalds within seconds. og head dante, less so, but this aint about that.
-sinclair: he’d be too nervous. what if something happens?? also, the murdery aspect. he’d be a good aide but not a babysitter.
-outis: those kids are going to be lined up in a military formation within the next twenty minutes.
-gregor: oh hell yes. kids love bugs. gregor’s so nice. cursed with arm being used as a toy. would smoke an entire 12 pack afterwards from stress like tf2 spy mentlegen. you understand.
and as bonus: charon: fuck no. vergil: fuck yes. fireman’s poles are magnetic if they’re made of steel. if they’re bronze, they won’t be. 
ps: i started the thing.
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gendameron · 2 months
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music monday + wip wednesday!!
tagged by @corvosattano and @kyber-infinitygems (thank you!! 💞💞)
not tagging anyone bc i'm having a weird brain week BUT i finally have something half decent that doesn't make me want to rip my hair out when i go back and reread it so i'm mushing the two dash games together
moderate spoiler warning for s4 of sl*w h*rses (i don't think it's anything TOO major—then again i AM Cursed With Knowledge™ so read at your own risk)
“i might hate the both of you, but you’re still my joes,” lamb mused, taking a look round the apartment—the one-bedroom that used to be river’s alone, now packed to the gills with what little alex had moved in the previous year. he was sizing the place up, as if he had any right to do so. she had followed lamb home once not long after she’d been transferred to aldersgate, and the tiny glimpse of his apartment alex had gotten back then through a window resembled a hoarder's nest.
eventually, lamb turned back to face her and say, “i think you’re right: someone came to kill the old man, and didn’t realize he’s a dangerous old fuck. so whoever it is ends up dead in the bathroom, and that’s when you and the young cartwright arrive for one of your cozy at-home evenings with grandad. anyone else, anyone sane, you know what they’d ‘ve done? they’d ‘ve called it in. not like the old man’s gonna get done for murder, no, what’d happen next is the dogs arrive, followed by the cleaners, and twenty minutes later it’s like it never happened. but that’s not what you idiots do. why’s that?”
alex rolled her eyes. “i have a feeling you’re about to tell me anyway.”
“well, your husband’s a dick, obviously. but assuming he’s got an actual motive, beyond his tireless desire to play double-oh-seven, it’s probably that he thinks calling the dogs will make things worse.”
alex hung her head, recalling their conversation earlier that evening with louisa—about the supposed retirement home for old spooks that got shut down a while back. alex had looked into it and had roddy dig up a case file that revealed that ‘retirement home’ was simply an unnamed suit’s vacation home in the maldives, repossessed the moment he was kicked out of the service. but that only raised an important question.
lamb noticed her hesitation. "out with it."
“fine. earlier tonight, during drinks, we were talking about cartwright senior and that old rumor.” when lamb just shook his head, she continued, “y'know, what does MI5 do when a retired spy starts going senile? can't exactly have them spouting off old state secrets to the lady at the post office, can they?”
lamb rolled his eyes. “so you two thought this was a service hit?” then, she watched him think it through. “…well, whatever it is, it was a fuck up. assassin's brains are all over the bloody lino." he paused, smiling at his own pun. " if the old bastard’s actually lost the plot, you morons might have a point.”
alex laughed. “wait, say that again?”
“fuck off.”
"i didn't catch that—was that you agreeing with me?"
lamb shot her a look, and she understood why he was a household name back at the park.
so she backed off. “seriously though, the park has to have a plan in place for that. some kind of…enhanced retirement package,” alex mused.
lamb shook his head, but alex could tell he was giving it some thought. changing the subject, he continued, “mystery man had two bullet holes in his head; if cartwright were having some sort of episode he wouldn’t go back for another shot.”
“needed to buy some time.”
“well, it was the only smart idea you've ever had. mystery man might’ve passed for river, but he was hardly an identical twin. no mole on his neck.”
“hate to tell you this, but that was river,” alex replied, “worked though, didn’t it?”
lamb rolled his eyes. “alright, get your things. we're leaving.”
“slough house?”
“no, we’re going to disney world—yes, slough house. you’re driving.”
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onyourstageleft · 4 months
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rant: things keep happening
tw animal sickness, tw person death, tw cancer mention
my cat is recovering from surgery (dw she's doing great we are so happy that her recovery is going good but it's still another thing on my list of things keep happening)
my car is back in the shop (again)
I'm behind on grading (for both sections of the class I teach)
I'm struggling to keep up in my classes (the three that I'm taking)
I got a call last night that my grandfather is in hospice and Not Doing Good so we're probably losing him this weekend (unsurprising he has had severe dementia for a long time and tbh I mourned the loss of him like two years ago but the timing sucks)
my Friendsgiving is tomorrow (v excited for it but it's a 2.5 hour drive away and we have to take Peggy with us to keep an eye on her and give her her antibiotics and we haven't finished packing for that even though we're leaving in like 8 hours and my partners may have to drop me off at the airport on the way home from that on Sunday since I will have to fly to FL bc again, car in the shop, so I have to pack extra things in case Poppy passes over the weekend)
one of my students committed a plagiarism on two assignments so I have to report him and I'm waiting on an email back about how that process works
I had the worst panic attack of my Life on Wednesday night (fully locked up like couldn't move. I am fine now it was just a reaction to all of the things that keep. fuckin. happening)
if I do have to go down to FL for a funeral I have to move one of my classes to online (the other is already online next week) so that's more prep I may or may not have to do before Monday
I'll be getting a call sometime next week about what the masses were that were removed from Peggy so that's still up in the air (fingers crossed for fatty masses and not cancer)
the first family Christmas that me + my partners are hosting together is on December 8th and we have Not planned anything, like a) we need to do a total deep clean of the house bc ppl will be staying here b) we don't know what the menu looks like or the schedule or anything, I literally just know when my mom is flying in and when she is leaving
the end of the quarter for classes I teach and semester for classes I take is rapidly approaching and time simply will Not slow down like I was Really hoping to get a breather of even a few days over Thanksgiving but that does not seem to be in the cards
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cha0tician · 10 months
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so the thing is with the green rockstars i once took a 28ish hour round trip to west? virginia with a friend and the girl he liked to go pick up said girls dog and i slept maybe 30 minutes the whole time and the trip shouldve been at least a two day trip both ways to do it healthily but we were in a rush bc they had work that monday and we left friday night and got back sunday morning
the dog was also fucking crazy and wanted to eat us and so we couldnt rotate seats and i couldnt drive at the time so it was my job to keep my friend who was driving awake [<- task failed. he fell asleep at the wheel and we had to pull over to nap. i couldnt sleep bc it was so hot and stuffy in the car and couldnt crack the door bc the dog would try to eat me about it.]
wed packed sandwiches and water to save money but the dog was asleep on it and again he was fucking crazy and the girl was asleep on him bc she was like, refusing to eat until he could eat and so we just. didnt eat after we got the dog in the car. and every time wed stop for gas [frequent. rented car was a gas guzzler] [also the car was rented and we weren't supposed to have dogs in it] [he was a mastiff] [they had to clean it after we got home] id get out and piss and get a rockstar sour apple. we don't have those in the gas stations at home so it was a novelty and rockstar the only energy drink i had a taste for at the time.
anyway my piss was neon green at the last gas station and this was when my crazy sister was living with me and ma so when i got home i couldn't even take a hot bath despite being tense as fuck from sitting in a car that long and having, you know, a fuckoff big barely contained dog wanting to maul me in the back seat
so if cody rhodes as stardust was green id probably want lesnar or roman to kill him or something idk
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