#have to remind myself of this a lot

[sunlitsoil]

there is always tomorrow

#lovecore #hopecore #webweaving #the presence of love is beautiful in itself #you got this #self care #self love #recovery #healing #hopepunk #recovery is not linear it is okay to have bad days you have the entirety of your life to have a better day #i wish anyone reading this a good life #i love you #you are loved #and i hope you will find happiness in the small things #i’ve been struggling a lot recently but i always remind myself the good set in store for me and look up places in the city i’ll move to #and it motivates me a bunch so i hope u all find things to strive towards mwah

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Thank you all for voting in the poll to decide who was going to be the leader of the band! It turned out to be such a close race!

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #madam lan #A-qing #Band AU #(Reminder that Madam Lan's design inspiration goes to Qourmet!) #Madam Lan may have been the winner per vote count but there were so many strong advocates for A-Qing! #I played around with a few versions of what the 'poll winner' art was going to be and ultimately decided I wanted them both. #As any good theater love knows though - The battle for leadership was a ruse. They *all* get a chance to be featured. #Cooperation was the real end goal! However I do think these two have the best frontman energy of the group. #Or at least 'crowd favourite' energy. I also really loved hearing what people thought their vocal styles would be like! #This was probably one of my favourite polls to do and I love drawing these characters a lot B*) #I'd love to spend a bit more time in this AU so count on me bringing it back. #One thing I keep feeling like I need to redeem myself on is Madam Lan's Translucent skirt. I have *not* done the concept justice yet. #It is such a crack-platonic ship but I want to think Madam Lan and A-Qing would enjoy each other's company. #Possibly also with JYL as well. They can be like mutually beneficial therapy dogs to each other. #Madam Lan never got to see her kids grow up into teenagers after all. She only had sons. Never daughters. #Even if she saw her kids once a month we do know she treated them with so much love and kindness. #She would bite the shit out of YZY for yelling at JYL. What a sight to see. A-Qing would also start biting (for fun).

[uncanny-tranny]

Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.

#disability #this is a callout post about myself #i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned #turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly #i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack #(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way) #(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle) #anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you... #...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition] #i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀 #even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭 #it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker #and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller #and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected... #...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)

[zimthandmade]

Hi!! I know you really like the Wammy boys, but j was really wondering if you could draw Light at some point? Or even just some headcanons for him? I’m starved for content and you’re like my favorite artist hehe

Sure, have some Yagami sketches!

----- My other socials Commission Info Let's have some Ko-Fi! 🍵

#i hear you guys craving for l and light drawings #i have to remind myself and you that im not getting paid for any of this #as much as i want to draw them too #they dont come to me as easily #and its stressing me out #kinda #i do what i can but its taking a lot of time #sorry #death note #fanart #light yagami #kira #ryuk #sachiko yagami #soichiro yagami #sayu yagami #yagami #headcanon #sketch #my art #dn au 2.0 #shinigami #siblings

[vimse]

I’m gonna throw another one out there just in case. 😜💕

Tech + 😠

teehee

Ah that reminds me of this

Haha but here is my attempt:

#the bad batch #tbb tech #vimse celebration event #ugh #I notice that I have a lot of trouble with some of these expressions #I don’t know if it’s an artistic thing #or an autistic thing #either way it’s good practice #but also would tech even have this expression when he’s angry? #not everyone has an exaggerated angry face #or do they? #ahhhhhh #remind myself not to draw at 4 AM

[laquilasse]

I know you're probably past Ace Attorney now but would you ever consider playing Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright? It's really good and pretty underrated in the Ace Attorney fandom :3

girl dw I'm shu takumi's bitch for life, I'm just taking a detour in children's card games. I also did play/stream/voice act layton v wright and it was an absolute work of art

#that was also my introduction to layton and luke and i was so enchanted #anon #ask #but yeah don't worry I'm just burnt out and don't have a lot of energy these days to do all the ace attorney projects I want to #but I'm trying to remind myself I'm not a content mill #I'm also trying to adopt a cat so that's taking up a lot of brain space rn

[daftpatience]

one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it

#theres no peace #every little thing reminds me we are poor #seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time #im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly #the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job #and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support #and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money #because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live #its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin #time #cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for #sorry for the ranting i cant sleep #truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin #more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful #i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it #i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things #spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income #not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it

[meatmensch]

when i find myself in times of trouble rabbi harold kushner comes to me speaking words of wisdom

from npr

#my posts #judaism #writing #been thinking a lot of stuff like 'why has god done this to me' and 'why has god forsaken me' lately. then i have to remind myself. i don't #believe in that kind of god :)

[puppyeared]

i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand

#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona #its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around #one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them #making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth #i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since #memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an #association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont #fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell #on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one #dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong #despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them #interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing #i struggle find a balance between those two things #actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of #her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard #or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it?? #maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard #although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh #yapping #oc talk #oc

[transthatfag]

theyre doing a sick cover of the winner takes it all

#art #digital art #my art 🦷 #digital painting #i spent 4 days on this but it was fun :) #i tried to force myself to take my time with this to get all the deatils done to my best ability #once i got to the refining stage i got scared and almost abandoned the piece cause it was looking a lil flat #but i just reminded myself that ill go back in to add texture and more detail at the end once i have a clean surface #overall im reaaally happy with how rayna came out #i think this is the most detailed piece of her ive made so far and i plan on making more soon #im mainly just sad about the background cause it just didnt turn out how i wanted it to but its eh #oh well :/ #ill keep working on that eventaully #oh yeah and I made this in krita btw #enjoying that program a lot :) #rayna 👁

[astriiformes]

Me, writing my essay for my science writing class at 4am because it was fighting me all weekend: This is garbage. I am ashamed to even turn this in. I have forgotten how words work.

My peer review partners in class this morning: Nate, this is a beautiful piece. It's really good, like a real science essay. Are you a writing major?

#very kind of them to say and also a reminder that i have ridiculously high standards for myself #(this was just the rough draft and i am still relieved i will have the chance to polish it up a lot more now that it's in) #(but still. a good reminder)

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages. #or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it. #i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') - #- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action. #also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally) #u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not-- #--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of' #'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important' #bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and- #inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

[statementlou]

the thing about Niall's current tour looks is that he looks Like That (coded hanky and all) because Bruce Springsteen looked like that but the thing about Bruce Springsteen looking like that is that he hung out in seedy gay bars and fucked drag queens and picked up his fashion there and I'm... not sure Niall knows that that's why Bruce wore leather vests and back pocket hankies...

#sighhhhh #I DON'T BELEIVE IN GATEKEEPING SIGNIFIERS OF QUEERNESS IT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE #<- me gritting my teeth and yelling at me to remind myself #but Niall is TESTING ME #thats pretty much my usual feeling about niall though so nothing new really and probably just bias #was I in the B.S. FANDOM I mean nahhhh.... but I do know a lot about him have seen him multiple times and once he said NICE HAT to me #so idk maybe that's a yes?😅 but anyway... for whatever reason I do know some lore #if anyone's interested two early songs about.. queens? trans women? the 70s were less defined... are Mary Queen of Arkansas and Candy's Roo #blah blah blah

[bonesofhoney]

hiyaaa 👋🏻

#wow look it’s actually my face #:D #happy Saturday friends #sending forehead smooches and a reminder to drink water #also to myself cause I have nooooot done that #tryna have a good night tonight #drink a little #laugh a lot #wish me luck #me

[scintillyyy]

thinking about it again (steph's anger holding a lot shame & disgust for her parents/their life choices/her upbringing and her negative biases as a result and her desire to completely divorce herself from her roots & be, what she thinks is, better than that)

#like don't get me wrong there are things steph deserves to be angry about #but i find myself far more interested in how ashamed she is of her parents at the same time #(thinking of how she hated it when her mom would come to gymnastics meets) #and because they failed her #idk. i don't see a lot of anger at society from her her anger is far more personal #she blames her mom for being an addict and is so angry about it #she doesn't necessarily acknowledge the societal factors affecting her mom that would lead to her addiction #like i don't think she has to be super sympathetic to her mom who failed her #and her unkindness about her mother's addiction makes sense to me as she was personally failed #but i think her inability to seperate her anger from this disgust at her parents' choices #leads her to have a lot of negative biases about people who remind her of her parents #and an inability to be impartial because of it #anyways thinking of this because she did grow up in the suburbs #and so much of that culture is keeping up with the jones and people often hide their struggles #so this would have been exacerbated by the thoughts that 'none of these other kids have these issues. their parents are good unlike mine' #because it looks that way to outsiders (even if it's not that way behind closed doors)

[floralfractals]

Hi everyone, I wanted to write a quick update to you guys :)

I made this blog in March of 2021. At the time, I followed my first math course on fractals and dynamics, and had just discovered a tool to make my own awesome fractals. This blog started out as a place to share the art I was making as a coping mechanism during covid, but as I quit making them after a few months, this blog died pretty quickly. In 2022, I decided to start posting regularly again (mostly just shitposts though), just so that the effort I put into this blog wouldn't go to waste.

Then, in the beginning of this year, I started writing my thesis. I posted one (1) shitpost about him (my well-known and popular son), and got 10s of thousands of notes. Every morning I would wake up to another crowd of people who loved the graphs, or were baffled by them, and I got showered in asks to elaborate on him.

Truth be told, 2023 has been a very heavy year for me. A lot of things happened in my personal life, and I lost a dear friend to suicide. It became so difficult for me to keep writing on my thesis, and the project that should have been finished in June this year has now been taking 4 months too many. My mental health has suffered greatly, I haven't been able to take any breaks, and life has just been generally difficult. I have spent nights not being able to sleep because I wanted to finish my bachelor's thesis so bad, but my supervisors would keep demanding more work, more edits, and more drafts. At some point, I even considered quitting my studies and finding a job.

The community has helped me to keep going. Mathematicians and non-mathematicians alike who sent me genuinely interested questions, made me laugh in the notes, created fanart (??? I'm still baffled by this but the people who did this are the coolest in the world) and generally made me feel for the first time that mathematics isn't a universally hated subject. On some days, the only reason I was able to keep going and the only thing keeping me from experiencing burn-out was the support I got through this blog.

Today, 10/12/2023, I turned in my thesis. Thank you so much for your support!

#my sickly son #math #literally thank you guys so much #this isnt a goodbye or anything its just me being sentimental lmao #ill be able to start posting about other things in the future #probably less things about my sickly son and more idk fun stuff about dynamics/fractals/probability #maybe ill get into fractal art again now that i have the time #right now past me is drafting this after one of the lowest days ive experienced in a few months #just as a reminder that i will be able to post this at some point and i will be done and i will be able to call myself BSc #disclaimer the supervisors did ask for more work but it was also bc my thesis just Was Not That Good for a long while #had to fix a looooooooot of mistakes #no shade on them i love my supervisors a lot