#havem mental health

[havenmentalhc]

Is your teenager much less social than they used to be? Do they express deep concerns about being embarrassed or disliked? This could be a sign of anxiety. Pay close attention to their interactions with others. If they are withdrawn or lean heavily on you to interact for them, intervention may be necessary.

Routine Things Suddenly Feel Overwhelming

Does it seem your young person resists participation in the things they once enjoyed? Perhaps they feel worried about the pace of their progress in a sport or activity. Perhaps they were injured or sick and worry about returning to the activity. Maybe they feel ill-prepared to continue with a group or at a certain skill level.

As a result, your teen may avoid what they previously loved to do. This self-limiting behavior can lead to regrets later. If you sense that they miss or long to participate but hold themselves back, encourage them to share their worries. Then brainstorm ways to comfortably remain involved and build the skills or knowledge they need to face their fear.

New Experiences Seem Too Risky

Does your teen dig in their heels, suddenly change their mind, or require inordinate amounts of reassurance when trying something different? If their response seems overblown or they remain completely avoidant, it may be that a specific fears or phobias keep your child from seeking out new experiences.

A past trauma or major life transition can give rise to fears about trying new things. Pay attention to ways your teen’s life is becoming very closed off and hemmed in due to anxiety. Seek support and encourage communication to ensure they get to the root of their fears and they aren’t cemented as they move forward into adulthood.

Excitability or Irritability Are More Frequent

Unfortunately, anxiety is often linked to nervousness, negativity, and racing thoughts. This of course, has a detrimental impact on your teen’s developing brain and perceptions. This can lead to changes in your teen’s moods and self-image.

If your teens is anxious, they may behave in ways that seem reactive and “hyper” or irritable and surly. Pay attention to their interactions and the way others notice they are being treated by your child. Getting a handle on anxiety early can prevent bigger issues with recklessness, impulsivity, and depression down the line.

Sleep Does Not Come Easy

Anxiety and healthy sleeping patterns are often at odds. When night falls, many young people become laser focused on their concerns. If your teen is wired and active at night but very tired during the day, worry could be a problem.

Moreover, staying asleep through the night can become sources of worry in and of themselves. You may find that bedtime becomes a source of conflict and contention. Nightmares, late-night phone cellphone activity, or a desire to talk things through late at night may be frequent issues.

Helping Your Adolescent Manage Their Anxiety

Finally, it can be tough for teenagers to get a handle on anxiety on their own. Your teen needs you to provide context for their fears and resources for comfort and recovery. As a parent, reaching out to a therapist is often a good first step to ensure that you and your child make appropriate and productive choices early on.

If you suspect your teen is suffering from anxiety, please don’t hesitate to reach out for more information about teen counseling and contact us soon for a consultation.

#havem mental health #mental health #mental health support #mental health services #mentalheathawareness

[klugpuuo]

What is lmeknon emon mental health song PSA .made!????

.awareness

People struggle with mental health

People struggle with it every day of their lives !

Paranoia ! Depression ! Anxiety ! Schizophrenia !

People struggle . With their mental health. People struggle. With being themselves

Dysmorphia ! Dysphoria ! Not a mental illness but it's up tjere

People havem .multiple selves. To deal with their bad mental health !

And home lives !

Their home lives are bad

An d that makes them sad

And depressed

(mental health . Struggles)

They don't get help

And that makes me sad

And upset

(anger issues ! Management !)

[awesome ten year synth guitar solo]

Get therapy

Don't be mean

#lemon demon #song #klug talks #sorry

[havenmentalhc]

The theory of attachment styles between parents and children has long been studied in psychology, education, and any field that deals with human development. The fact is that the implications of attachment theory impact each and every one us, not just in childhood, but into our adult years as well. At the very least, most of us can look back to how we were raised and how the habits, beliefs, and behaviors we have were shaped by our earliest caregivers. What we don’t always consider is how we dealt with the most difficult things: the criticism of a parent, the comparison with a sibling or others, the lack of availability of a caring adult when we needed one. Looking at such experiences, without necessarily blaming our parents or caregivers, is key in understanding the attachment wounding that has also shaped us. Left unaddressed, such wounding can have a major impact on various aspects of our life.

Do you know the signs of an unprocessed attachment wound? Perhaps you never knew to even consider that early pain was at the root of your difficulties with other people. The truth is, many people who are hurting, lonely, or struggling with insecurity are unaware that trauma in their earliest relationships is relevant.

What was your attachment to your primary caregivers like? If you find that you’re repeatedly troubled by connection, trust, and security issues with loved ones, it might be time to dig deeper into your past attachments.

Key Signs You Need to Heal from an Attachment Wound: Your Relationships are Damaged by Anxiety

Anxiety in relationships is a clear marker of attachment wounding. Many people have one of two common experiences. You live with the anxiety of getting too close. Or you live with the anxiety of not feeling close enough.

Worry, panic, rumination, and controlling behavior may result as you try to manage feelings of emotional suffocation or abandonment. As a result, attachment wounds can present as anxious-avoidant relationship behavior. You might become either the pursuer or distancer with the relationship partner becoming the opposite. This connection becomes problematic without at least one of you doing the work to become more secure.

Unhelpful Thoughts and Emotions Get in Your Way

Paying attention to the way you experience relationships internally is vital to healing your attachment wounds. The reality is relationships and negativity are linked together for you. Thus, you may need help from a therapist to uncover the depth to which your thoughts and feelings are impacted. However, you can start now trying to explore your thought patterns. Do the following happen in relationships?

Negative self-talk and self-criticism are ongoing in your relationships. You may punish yourself with thoughts of not being good enough, unlovable, or somehow at fault for not having healthy connections.

You have “trust issues.” Either you trust too easily or not at all. If you find that you are drawn to people who have already given you a good reason not to trust, an attachment wound may be at play. Similarly, not being able to trust, even in long-standing relationships with trustworthy people indicates early relationship trauma.

Relationships never live up to your ideals, hopes, or most positive beliefs. They succumb to negativity and a sense of unfulfillment.

Your Relationship History is Telling

A key indicator of attachment wounding is a history of unhealthy relationships. This can reveal itself in a variety of connections. As you look back, are any of the following true?

You distanced yourself or avoided relationships.

You constantly wanted or pursued a relationship.

Descriptors like “love or sex addiction” might characterize your past.

Looking back, you think of your family life as idyllic or perfect.

Looking back, you view your family life as a huge failure of neglect and disappointment.

Descriptors like “hurtful,” “abusive,” “indifferent,” and more characterize your earliest relationships.

You Cope with Relationship Pain Unproductively

Unaddressed, attachment wounds live on in various areas of your life. Think about how you’ve coped through the years. What you did to cope as a child or survive as a young person may be the same as the coping strategies you’re using now. Chances are they aren’t serving you well.

Often attachment wounds lead to coping via substance abuse, eating disorders, or the development of anxiety disorders. It’s worth examining the roots of these issues if you are suffering.

Seek Out A Therapeutic Relationship to Heal

Finally, a difficult childhood, due to unmet relational needs, can seem so unfair. Similarly, difficult adult relationships, due to unresolved attachment pain, don’t have to continue. Whether you’ve been afraid, angry, or simply avoiding the past, you deserve better. Allow yourself a future free of attachment wounds.

A relationship with a compassionate and qualified therapist is important in helping you embrace more fulfilling and beneficial personal relationships. To heal well and fully is possible with commitment and support. We are here for you. Please read more about trauma therapy and contact us soon for a consultation.

#havem mental health #mental health #mental illness #mental health support #mental health services

[havenmentalhc]

If you find yourself struggling to manage anxiety, depression, or maintaining healthy relationships, there may be more at play than just a lack of coping skills. We all go through difficult experiences throughout our life, some of which may leave a lasting impact that we may or may not be consciously aware of. Trauma can be a result of both a singular overwhelming and distressing experience as well as repeated and/or ongoing emotional injuries such as emotional or other abuse. The result is often a set of symptoms that are developed to assist the brain and body manage the distress. This is because we innately respond to such overwhelming distress not just psychologically, but physiologically. Trauma doesn’t just impact how we feel, but how we think, how we show up in the world, and how we relate to other. Some of the ways that trauma shows up include:

Depression

Irritability

Anxiety and/or panic attacks

Loss of interest

Numbing

Insomnia

Hopelessness

Feelings of shame and worthlessness

Mistrust

Chronic pain

Addiction

Loss of a sense of self

While these “symptoms” may become the focus of treatment, it is also important to consider the root cause and address the whole person and the experiences that brought up these concerns. A trauma sensitive approach to therapy allows you to explore your current difficulties while keeping in mind that we are complex beings with histories that impact us. We look to understand how we survived our most difficult experiences and how to utilize those strengths while learning new tools to continue to thrive.

Learn more — https://havenmhc.com/

#havem mental health #mental health #mental illness #mental health support #mental health services

[havenmentalhc]

Sometimes the hardest thing to do when you’re feeling hurt or unhappy is to pick up the phone and reach out for help. Often times it can feel like talking about what’s wrong is just too difficult, stressful or triggering. Perhaps you’ve spoken to someone before, even a therapist, and it left you feeling somehow incomplete, tense, or “stuck.”

If it feels like talking about your problems leaves you feeling worse, it might be that you’ve experienced trauma. It’s important to know that when we experience trauma, there can be a disconnect between our thoughts and our bodies. This is how we are wired to survive: by mobilizing and/or immobilizing in a way that turns off our rational thinking and puts us into fight, flight, freeze, or feigned death. In these moments, we are adapting quickly, whether to a car accident or physical abuse, or social exclusion in a way that allows us to get through that situation. Unfortunately, the disconnect that occurs can continue to be there for much longer, resulting in behaviors or attitudes that impede or otherwise negatively impact our life.

Finding a way to connect the response of our brain and body by bridging what we can accept mentally and absorb physically is extremely powerful, deep, and lasting. This is why therapies that combine your awareness of traditional psychotherapy and your physical body are often a more deeply rooted, satisfying, and effective way to heal and move forward.

The Value of Body-Centered Trauma Therapy

Traumatic experiences can often leave a person with symptoms that are frequently left unaddressed by more traditional therapies. Most of the time, talk-therapy focuses on the emotional and behavioral aspects of trauma. Those areas are accessed and addressed via your thoughts. Generally, they get the most attention and validation. While this is helpful and comforting, it does not address the areas of the brain that are activated during traumatic events, potentially leaving you with the unresolved confusing imagery, stuck sensations, and a lack of clarity regarding your self-perception.

Body-centered (somatic) therapy links the healing elements of verbal sharing with the power of bodily relief. It allows you to work through not only the thoughts and underlying beliefs that have resulted from the trauma, but accesses the healing capacity of the brain and body to develop a deeper, more felt sense of internal safety. The body, which holds the memories of our pain, sorrow, and fear becomes the means through which we work towards peace, calmness, hope, and happiness. Trauma therapy is rooted in working with the wisdom of the body to work through the past without re-traumatization and future growth.

Body-centered trauma therapy supports bodily awareness.

When unresolved trauma exists, it can show up as symptoms rather than memories. I’ve had a number of clients share their difficulties in day to day life without conscious recollection of their trauma. However, as therapy progresses, we are able to collaboratively recognize the impact of past hurts on a present day life that doesn’t feel satisfactory. Some of these symptoms include, but aren’t limited to:

Emotional overwhelm

Feelings of hopelessness, shame, worthlessness

Panic attacks

Depression, anxiety and/or irritability

Loss of a sense of self

Little or no memories

Hypervigilance or mistrust

Symptoms of trauma can also manifest physically. Some physical symptoms can include, but aren’t limited to:

Weakened immune function

Sexual dysfunction

Digestive difficulties

Unexplained physical pain or muscle tension

Hormonal imbalances

Eating Disorders or addiction

Chronic pain and/or headaches

You can see that overcoming trauma is not just a matter of controlling your thoughts. Trauma also creates continuing, internal tensions. Somatic therapy helps you tune into your breath, posture, and more to learn how your trauma is being held in your body and how you are being physically affected by the past.

Body-centered therapy helps you “reset”.

When trauma is experienced, the natural instinct to defend yourself cannot be carried out. The associated internal energy once meant to protect you, can become stuck and turn into maladaptive coping.

To recover, it is necessary to process the survival response inside ourselves. Sometimes, the traumas we experience happen so early in life that our physical sensations or tension seem normal. Sometimes the traumas we experience are the result of repeated and sometimes ongoing offenses and because trauma is stored in the body, it can often be difficult to put it into words and share it verbally. Somatic modalities of therapy recognize the myriad of ways that trauma impacts us in how we think, feel, act, engage with the world around us and how our physical bodies continue such patterned behaviors as a protective measure, even if it is no longer serving us. Body centered counseling allows us to uncover, access, and reset our responses in ways that we may not initially realize are related.

Body-centered therapy provides the skills to move forward

The goal of somatic therapy is not only to cultivate a deep level of healing, but to bring forward your innate wisdom and capacity to better manage stress and maintain a healthy mind-body connection. A commitment to trauma sensitive counseling leads to a renewed commitment to yourself through which you can master methods to self-soothe, feel grounded, and connect with your spiritual self as well. We all have the capacity to heal, cope, and grow. Trauma therapy taps into this capacity to foster resiliency and optimism as we move ahead.

Take the Next Step

The value of body-centered therapy is well worth the time and effort. By addressing shame and self criticism with compassion and curiosity, we can learn how these parts of ourselves are trying to help, and learn new, more effective ways of being. Most importantly, somatic work shows you that can live completely free of your trauma.

If this type of therapy interests you, please read more about trauma therapy to set up a consultation. Let us help you re-set the connection between your mind and body.

Finally, if you would like support, please contact us for a consultation to learn about how we can help you.

#havem mental health #mental health #mental illness #mental health support #mental health services

[havenmentalhc]

Do you find yourself feeling like you’re going in circles in your relationship? Or even worse, feeling completely stuck? Do you struggle with feelings of anxiety as a result? These feelings are more common than we’d like to admit. Being here is the first, most difficult and also most brave step you can take towards getting the support you need in a safe, judgement free space.

There is often a lot of stigma around discussions of mental health, which make seeking help when we are struggling all the more difficult. Unlike physical ailments, the only way to identify and overcome your struggle is by trusting yourself and your feelings. Creating that relationship with yourself would be an essential part of our work together. In my trauma-sensitive approach, I will work on providing you with tools to connect with your mind and body. My approach to therapy includes identifying the roadblocks that hold you back in your personal, professional, relational and other areas of your life and integrating those experiences to foster self-awareness, practical solutions, and advance personal growth.

I have trained in couples counseling through the Gottman Institute and provide marital as well as pre-marital counseling. My training has reinforced my belief that developing a healthy relationship is an art with science to back it. This belief makes me passionate to work with couples who might be feeling discouraged and doubtful in the ability to repair the relationship. By approaching the relationship like any valuable piece of art, I work with my clients to rekindle the love and restore the foundations of the relationship by working on healthy communication, friendship and appreciation.

In my experience working at various mental health and psychiatric facilities, I have understood the importance of an intersectional approach to therapy. I enjoy working with people with various racial, ethnic, cultural, religious backgrounds as these different parts of us make up the whole individual. I approach my clients in a collaborative manner and provide them the tools and space they need to heal, learn, and grow. I believe in an integrated approach to therapy as there is no “one size fits all” solution and draw from psychodynamic as well as the behavioral lens. While the psychodynamic lens gives me an opportunity to explore your worldview by learning about your attachments, relationships and other past experiences, the behavioral lens is an active approach to bring about changes for wholesome living.

Going to therapy can seem like a challenge, but I believe that taking this first step is the hardest because, after that, you will not be alone on your journey. I encourage you to contact us for a consultation and we can discuss your goals for our work together!

Learn more — www.havenmhc.com

#havem mental health #mentalheathawareness #mental health #mental illness #mental health support

[havenmentalhc]

Do you find yourself getting stuck in the same relationship patterns over and over again? Do you find yourself doing everything in your power to discontinue previous relational patterns and behaviors? Are you struggling with self-doubt, low-self-esteem, and painful self-criticism that seems to be holding you back?

My approach to therapy looks at these patterns and behaviors through compassionate exploration of the parts of yourself that hold you back while strengthening your wisest and strongest self. This allows us to work through the beliefs and behaviors that lead to self-doubt and persistence in repeating unhealthy relationships and behavioral patterns.

In my work with clients, we are able to gain new perspectives and a greater understanding and awareness of our conscious or unconscious internal road maps that influence the ways in which we navigate our relationships, our day-to-day lives, and how we perceive ourselves and others in the world.

My approach to therapy is an integration of person-centered therapy, psychodynamic theory, art therapy, trauma informed approaches including IFS, and attachment theory.

I specialize in working with adults, children, teens, couples, and families.

I’m looking forward to doing amazing and transformational work in collaboration with you. It would be an honor for me to be a witness to your growth, your journey toward self-discovery, self-compassion and self-love.

Learn more — https://havenmhc.com/

#havem mental health #mentalheathawareness #haven #mental health #mental illness

[havenmentalhc]

COVID-19 has changed every aspect of how we live, work, and relate to one another. It has created a stressor that we had never imagined and will influence the trajectories of our future. As adults, many of us have been scrambling to adjust, work from home, parent children who are always, and I mean always around, all while trying not to catch the virus. In such novel circumstances, it may be easy to overlook just how grave the impact of this is on our children. They were ripped away from their peers, their playdates, their entire social world, without notice or preparation. The pandemic has taken away their sense of structure, routine, and physical activity. Over time, these losses may exacerbate issues surrounding their mental health and wellness, unless the means are taken to properly equip them with the awareness and tools to successfully manage their emotions. Doing so would be a strong step in the path to developing resilience.

The challenges we face today can be utilized to develop resilience and emotional intelligence. To build resilience, we need to be aware of and learn to regulate our emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and relationships. This ability is at the core of facing challenges with curiosity and strength rather than panic and overwhelm.

As adults, we are tasked not only with caring for our own mental health, but facilitating the means to help our children develop healthy ways of recognizing and managing their emotions as well. Child and youth mental health has long been undervalued. We now have to stand up to ensure that we recognize the support that our children need and provide the opportunities for them to receive it. Doing so will allow our children to shift from survival to resilience and emerge from the current crisis with an increased capacity to bounce back from difficulty.

Haven MHC will be running 2 groups for children ages 8–11 to develop these skills. For more information, check out our youth groups page.

#havem mental health #mental health #mental health support #mentalheathawareness #individual counseling

[havenmentalhc]

Turn It Around: Repairing Emotional Damage in Your Marriage

Roadblocks are inevitable, even in the most committed of couples. Things may be said or done along the way that hurt feelings and eventually cause a buildup of resentment, triggers and create recurring arguments that just make you feel stuck. Why?

Unfortunately, many couples just haven’t learned the relationship skills required to effectively repair emotional damage when it happens. Being able to talk about conflicts after the fact, or better yet, notice and better manage conflicts as they come up, is a skill that takes practice and more importantly, courage and vulnerability. However, many of the couples the come in for therapy struggle with figuring out how to repair and reconnect after an emotional injury has occurred. Thus, conflicts are exacerbated, and difficult conversations become divisive without a plan for emotional restoration. Instead of drawing close again, avoidance and withdrawal can set in.

Without an intentional attempt to break the cycle, communication and compassion can break down significantly.

This needn’t be your relationship story. In his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman revealed key findings regarding relationship repair. Particularly, why and how partners must actively correct emotional damage between them. According to Dr. Gottman’s research, failing to repair will hinder emotional safety and trust considerably.

Consider how effective relationship repairs can help you and your partner heal emotional damage and restore closeness:

What Repair Attempts Do

The key to making things right when emotional damage occurs is to make an attempt to break the cycle by shifting the interaction, rather than continuing the pattern of negativity as early and as often as necessary. These efforts are “repair attempts.” Gottman notes that a repair attempt is “any statement or action — silly or otherwise — that prevents negativity from escalating out of control.”

So, de-escalation is the name of the repair game. This allows you to let the steam escape the conversation so that you can carefully consider what’s happened between you. If handled well, it can allow for curiosity for both your experience and the experience of your partner so that you can both quickly and thoughtfully address it.

What Repair Attempts Don’t Do

Repair work is not one-sided. Neither your partner, nor his/her repair attempts can force you into the right frame of mind. Repair attempts are your individual choice when your personalities, perspectives, and personal needs, inevitably, collide. However, actual relationship repair is cooperative and intentional. The ultimate agreement to heal and reconnect is mutual.

Emotional Processing is a Relationship Priority

It’s important that you are both ready to approach repairing your relationship. Take care to follow the next five steps when you can do so calmly and respectfully:

Step 1: Express Feelings

Succinctly list the emotions you each experienced (angry, disrespected, overwhelmed, forgotten). No commentary, explanation, or judgment accompany this step.

Step 2: Share and Validate

Decide who will be the listener and who will share first. Honor those roles. If you’re the speaker, share the damaging interaction from your perspective. Do this without criticizing the listener. Instead, use “I” statements to convey what you noticed and needed at that time.

If you’re the listener, focus on understanding the speaker’s experience. Be curious. Summarizing and validating are key. Do your best not to assume or project meaning onto what they’ve shared. Express clearly that you are trying to see things from their point of view and ask if your understanding is correct. Leave them space to address what continues to be misunderstood and validate their feelings. When the speaker feels understood, switch roles.

The goal? To make each other feel undeniably safe and loved.

Step 3: Talk About Triggers

Often, emotional damage occurs because partners are unclear about the buttons they’re pushing in each other. Take turns disclosing and discussing what was triggered in you both.

Try to link and share past emotional experiences with the emotional interaction between you. What happened? Why are the feelings similar? Be as clear as possible without being critical, so that your partner is more aware and understanding of this sensitivity and vice versa.

Step 4: Acknowledge, Accept, Apologize

Relationship repair is aided immensely when you can acknowledge what contributed to miscommunication and relationship strain, take responsibility for your respective missteps, and offer apologies.

Were you were stressed or overreactive? Say so. Express your regret for being curt or turning away. Sincerely offer an apology. Allow your partner time to do the same. When all is said and apologies are accepted, agree to forgive and move forward. If hard feelings persist, continue to discuss unmet needs and how to meet them.

Step 5: Value Preventative Care Over Exhaustive Repair

The final step of relationship repair, according to Gottman, is to mutually discuss how to do less of it. Share one thing you could do to make discussing this issue better next time. Then, gently, share a way your partner can do the same. Clearly glean what it will take to finally resolve the matter, concentrating on areas of agreement.

Reach Out if You Require More Intensive Repair

While it’s true that addressing problems early is the best way to prevent large relationship rifts, you aren’t alone if problems have festered too long. Healing can still be accomplished. You may just need some professional guidance to help you communicate and reach your repair goals.

Don’t give up. Repair attempts are an act of love. We’re here to help. Please read more about couples counseling and contact me soon for a consultation.

#havem mental health #mental health #mental health support #mentalheathawareness #individual counseling #family counseling