#haven't done one for this series in quite some time

[sytoran]

𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐒 || mdg pt. 5

timelines and lifelines have torn you and natasha apart, but the two of you are bound by the child you have created. though subjected to earth, loki, god of mischief, dangles the possibility of a future with natasha by making you a god.

pairing: goddess!natasha x mortal!reader (not for long)

note: this is the 5th installment to the goddess!nat universe, as per the 4k celebration! please read the other parts first if you haven't already. this part contains depictions of violence. this series is 18+ only.

word count: 1.8k

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Previously…

Your relationship with the Goddess of Lust, Natasha Romanoff, comes to a screeching halt. Torn apart by timelines and lifelines, you’re not coping well, and neither is Natasha — especially when she finds out she’s pregnant with your child.

On the other side of the universe, Loki, God of Mischief, breaks into your apartment to offer you a deal. Worse still, he eats your leftover pizza.

Now…

When you come back to consciousness, you feel like you’re floating. Not in the whimsical, psychedelic cocaine-induced way, but in the Help-I’m-Physically-Suspended-In-The-Air way. 

And it is true, much to your demise, because despite the fruitful hours of work spent in the gym, your arms and back can’t quite handle the excruciating pain of being strung taut like a rope.

Against the will of every screaming cell in your existence for you to fall the fuck back asleep, you forcefully sit up and open your eyes.

It takes about two seconds for the headache-worthy hangover to sink in, and three seconds for you to regret every godforsaken decision you had made the night prior.

Last night- oh, fuck. Last Friday night. 

(No, this isn’t going to entail a radio pop song with a curly black-haired Katy Perry, because the only curly black-haired one in this story is the God of Mischief himself. Both equally as sassy, but expounding on that would fracture the entirety of the space-time continuum.)

“Oh, you’re awake.” 

Speaking of the devil (quite literally), Loki forces you to bring your blurry gaze up to the cocky expression painting his angular face.

“Fuck you,” you spit, dry and hoarse, memories surging through your teetering consciousness. All you were aware of was the mother of your problems was the man himself.

Now, you were suspended like a puppet in your very own living room, strings of golden magic encircling your body, keeping you stretched to the edge of insurmountable agony.

“Funny,” Loki says dryly, eyes raking over your pathetic form. “That’s exactly what you said last night that put you in this position.”

You would’ve laughed, truly, if not for the ache in your ribs and your back and your– you get the point. “You offered me a proposition,” you comment, licking your cracked lips with distaste. 

“And you said ‘fuck you’ and threw up three bottles worth of alcohol on my ridiculously expensive snake-scaled shoes before promptly passing out from your hissy fit of a heartbreak.”

“Deserved.”

“I will hang you upside down.”

You roll your eyes – however much you can roll them in this position. “You gave me an offer. That means that I had a say in this, and I certainly did not consent to take part in this BDSM-worthy fantasy of yours.”

Loki scoffs at this, shifting in his seat. Your seat, actually, his black robes draped over your armchair like it belonged to him. 

“My sex life is none of your business, and more than often entails men,” Loki begins, putting a finger up. “The only reason I’m taking interest in a hopelessly lovesick woman-lover is because you have something that I want.”

You exhale roughly, lungs and ribs screaming in protest. You weren’t of a godly status by any means, but based on his identity and the fact that a God was lurking around Earth, you were competent enough to figure out what he wanted.

“You wanna get back to the land of the Gods,” you state, eyes narrowing in seriousness. “Like me, you’ve done some shit that made SHIELD put a target on your back. Except it’s ten times worse, considering you’re a God. That’s why you’re here. What you want is connections, because I have – I had – a relationship with Natasha Romanoff.”

Natasha.

It pains you, to even put it in the past tense, that what you had with Natasha would only ever be history.

“Oh wow,” Loki responds, acting shocked. “There’s actually more to you than this himbo attitude you exude.”

You don’t give him the pleasure of a response to his provoking, despite your incessant need to sucker-punch that face of his. But uncovering his plan has that layer of composure slipping, for a second, and you delight in it for what it’s worth.

"Put me down first," you say instead through gritted teeth, looking up with a ferocious glint in your eyes.

"Say yes first," Loki answers promptly, folding his arms over his chest with a self-satisfied grin.

"Put me down and or I won't consider your absurd request," you try again, a wracking cough making your stomach lurch in pain.

"Funny you think you're in a position of power," the arrogant god taunts. "Who's to say I won't torture you to the brink of death until I get what I want?"

"...Who's to say I'd eventually break?" you say finally, narrowing your gaze. You sure as hell were scared as fuck, but you had to survive. "Threats only work on people who've got something to lose. I'm forbidden from ever seeing the love of my life again – I've got nothing to lose, y'know? No amount of torture will get you what you want."

Your little speech of sorts, delivered with an unwavering tone despite the pain coursing through your body, plays out perfectly. Loki's gaze is unreadable as he contemplates upon your counter-proposition.

Unceremoniously, you're dropped to the ground, hitting reality with a grunt of pain. “Shit,” you wheeze, clutching at your ribs with sore wrists. “Warn a girl, man.”

Loki waves you off dismissively. “The pain won’t matter anymore.”

“Wait,” you struggle to say, reaching out to nothingness as the man closes his eyes and raises his hands to the lands you once roamed.

It’s only then that you realise you’re surrounded by candles, so many candles. You’re in the center of some kind of ritual board, and what you assume are ‘offerings’ circle you.

From skulls to black flames, you know something is wrong. Very wrong. Loki is muttering incantations under his breath, a language beyond your human tongue, and the pressure in your room rises to an extent that forces you downwards.

“What,” you ask, exhaling roughly against your cracked ribs. “What kind of God am I going to become?”

Your question goes unanswered, lost in the swirling black flames that surround you. Loki’s eyes open again, and this time they are completely black. He begins a chant, crafted from an inhuman tongue, a language you’d never heard before.

That’s when the pain starts.

You scream, brain waves throbbing, a loud ringing sound echoing in your ears. Psychedelia takes over your conscience, producing images all around you, dark and distorted and everything you thought you’d buried.

“ибяѓюгэю юдякиэҁ, эиѫч ҩ рэд.”

Unbridled darkness, enemy of peace.

Natasha’s face is at the forefront of your mind, unblemished and happy and everything you’d ever wanted. You reach out, spluttering and breathless, trying to grasp that wistful memory like it’d materialize in front of you, like she could ever be yours.

“бцэт юҩщи ҩцядрҩи дю ғдг ҩця ҩиэҁ.”

Put down your weapons and fall to your knees.

Her face gets shattered into smithereens, scattered throughout the dark swirls of your mind, overtaken by shadows. Horrifying screams and flashes of a graveyard overwhelm you, and you yell through the misery for the love of your life.

“тҩ фэн тнэ юэҁѓяэ ҩғ џэиəэдисэ lə'”

To quench the desires of vengeance and rage.

Fury slugs through you, as you crawl away from cold hands that pull you back. “No!” You yell, but your voice is not yours anymore. The only thing to describe what you feel is chaos, darkness creeping in from the shadows, a slithering worm into your ear, a rotting carcass and the stench of carrion.

“ҩҁэ бҩиэҁ сдҁт ҩғ ҁсчнэҁ дию бдюэҁ.”

To see bones cast of scythes and blades.

The world snaps from reality, and you get flung into a different dimension. This place you’re trapped in is unfamiliar. You’re standing on a pile of dead human bodies, and there are ghouls and demons cheering your name. Blackness seeps through your veins, infiltrating your mindwires. 

“Revenge,” you spit, a devilish noise, and the cheers rise again.

You scream, as black wings tear through your back, ripping your collared shirt and spreading towards the sky. You launch from the depths of whatever hellhole that may have been, an inhuman screech echoing around the void, soaring towards the heavens in search of the one you’d lost.

“ҩѫэҩя, гдск-щѓəэю юэџѓг, эт ндҁ иғцяг”

Come forth, black-winged devil, let chaos unfurl

Upon descending on holy ground, unfamiliar faces intrude into your mind, prominent and unmistaken. Backlogged information begs its worth — God of Thunder. Goddess of Magic. God of Science. God of Justice. 

Then one word rings above all, high and mighty, and the darkness of your mind clears to reveal the people that had taken your Natasha away.

SHIELD.

“энҩгю яҩѫ нэг, ҩю ҩғнэ Циюэящҩягю.”

Behold from hell, Ruler of the Underworld.

Reality drives into your side like a thousand semi-trucks, bright and flashing, and then you’re back in your living room. You stay on the ground, all-fours, spluttering and gasping for air. 

Natasha.

Black wings flap behind you, resplendent and marvelous. Those had been real.

Arising from the ground, gone is the fear in your eyes. No more shreds of hope. No more sense of justice. Your blackened eyes burn red, searching for Loki. He stands in the corner of the room, and he seems so much smaller now, compared to you and your bloodlust.

“She was mine,” you growl, dangerously, fearsome and inhuman.

“She is yours,” The God of Mischief answers, marveling at his creation, for there was nothing that could stop you now.

***

“Rockabye baby on the treetop,” Natasha sings softly, a hand gently caressing the swell of her stomach. Colours sweep into galaxies as nightfall arrives, cloaking her land in gentle beauty.

“When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.” As if on cue, the wind gets a little chillier. Worry clouds Natasha’s face, edging in on her safe haven.

“When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.” A holographic image of The God of Justice materializes before her eyes. It meant that it was an urgent message, from one God to the next.

“The SHIELD base is being attacked by an unknown force. We’re in grave danger,” Steve says, urgent and frantic. Screams and chaos can be heard in the background, and the God barely ducks a crashing marble pillar.

Natasha almost scoffs and switches off the image. The Gods had ignored her very existence ever since they had banished you, which was convenient in hiding her pregnancy, but at the same time rather annoying, now that they were begging for help.

That is, until Steve persisted further. “Natasha. This perpetrator has power beyond measure, dark power. It could even exceed Loki’s.”

“......What does this harbinger of hell want?” Natasha asks, steely eyes surveying her homeland.

“Natasha,” Steve repeats, weary eyes hooded with anxiety. “They’re looking for you.”

Down will come baby, cradle and fall.

so that happened.... any thoughts about our new and improved y/n, ruler of the underworld?? loki rlly stirred up a lot of shit huh

reblog or no y/n x natasha reunion

series m.list | main m.list | AO3

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader angst #marvel #sytoran's 4k celebration #wlw fiction #wlw #gxg #natasha romanoff angst

[jointherebellion215]

If It's True

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x female!reader

Summary: When an unexpected guest crashes your House's welcome feast for the Harkonnens, your life unknowingly becomes the start of a sad, sad song.

Word Count: 872

TW: Manipulation, Dark!Feyd-Rautha (so Regular Feyd-Rautha), she/her pronouns, AFAB reader, songfic

A/N: Hi, it's your friendly neighborhood shitposter. I'm taking a huge leap of faith with this fic, because I truly haven't written anything in YEARS. This idea has been bouncing around in my head for days, thus "the trilogy was born". This is meant to be Part One of a three part series, based on different songs from the musical Hadestown. I've obviously written this with very very dark interpretations of the songs and the themes. If enough people like it, I'll post parts two and three. Please let me know if it's any good, I'd love some feedback :)

AO3

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Dune properties, characters, or storylines-- nor do I own anything related to Hadestown. The images used in this are not my own, and any similarities to stories other than what I derive inspiration from are strictly coincidence.

What’s the use of his backbone

If he never stands upright?

“We welcome you to Kolhar, my lords Baron and na-Baron. Our House humbly offers our services and facilities to your use. I toast to our continued cooperation and to the strength of our Houses.”

As your father raised his cup, others of our House followed suit. The official welcome feast was well underway, though House Harkonnen had been planetside for at least a week already. The past few days had been for inspecting our mines and factories, ensuring that our production of their ships and swords were up to standard. 

Now? Pure pageantry. You found it a bit redundant, but it was necessary to ensure your good standing among the Houses of the Imperium. It was a grand occasion, in which the leaders of your father’s council were present, as well as the highest ranked mine workers. 

The doors to the large hall slam open, a familiar figure storming in. Your heart flutters at the sight of your beloved parting the crowds before him. The man who you had met by complete coincidence, one of the workers in a local steel mine, who you had spent the better part of a year meeting in secret—had crashed the court. You noticed a bruise growing on his cheek and blood trickling down his temple, indicating that his journey to enter through the doors was easier said than done. His voice soon bellowed throughout the hall. 

“My Lord Duke, I refuse to let your daughter’s hand be taken by the na-Baron. She cannot marry him.” 

The crowd gasps, as do you. You had spent the past week showing the na-Baron Feyd-Rautha around the grounds, the training of your most fierce warriors, and the best of your planet’s culture. You had shared a laugh or two and shown your prowess as a leader. Yes, you’d spent quite a bit of time with him, but marriage? This was news to you. 

You turn to your father, who gives you an apologetic grimace. Several Harkonnen guards step forward to seize the love of your life. You quickly stand to protest, but the na-Baron stops the guards in their track with a single snap of his fingers. He offers a hand to calm the crowd, an eerie stillness in his form.

“It is true, I have offered my hand to the Lady.”

I believe that with each other, 

we are stronger than we know.

“There must be a way around this. Even if this is in defiance of the court, they can’t punish all of us! We work their mines; they couldn’t truly function without us. We are the ones who truly hold the power! I implore you to stand with me, show them our strength!”

Your love stands strong, chin raised in the crowd, voice pleading with his brothers and sisters to stand beside him. He was convinced that this moment could provide a great revelation, that somehow your situation was different. That the consensus of a crowd could make the na-Baron stand down. Surely, your story could convince even the coldest of hearts that love can conquer all. He must have some sentimentality that resonates within him.

That's one of the main reasons why you fell in love with him. He's always so full of hope. Always willing to see the world as it could be, in spite of the way that it actually is.

But you knew better.

“This is treason.” Someone whispers in the room. Murmurs of assent soon follow, and your heart drops. The crowd around him quickly dissipates, as if the mere act of touching him promises death. 

And the ones who deal the cards

Are the ones who take the tricks

With their hands over their hearts

While we play the game they fix

You start to plead with your father to spare your lover. He doesn’t know any better, he wasn’t raised in the ways of politics or court. It’s purely out of his love and devotion to you, so please—

Feyd-Rautha stands up and the room is immediately devoid of sound. He cranes his neck to look at you.

“You love him?”

You swallow harshly, lifting your chin. “I do.” You went to your lover, making a bold statement in linking your fingers together. Presenting a united front. Hoping that somehow, your kind attitude the past week towards the na-Baron would allow this leniency.

A gleam flashes through his eyes, almost imperceptible. He gives a blackened smile, making show of placing his hand over his heart. Confusion fills you. He slithers down the steps towards the pair of you, boots echoing in the Feasting Hall, each step making your lover’s hand give a slight tremor. Your mind stands strong in its conviction, in the thought that you’ll have to fight for what you want. But a small tendril in the back of your mind gives the slightest hesitation. The smallest indication of hope. Maybe…

Piter leans towards his Baron, whispering concerns in his ears, but is quickly paused by the Baron’s hand. Vladimir gives a slow, menacing grin. He responds to his Mentat in a low voice,

“Don’t bother. You know that my nephew loves to play with his food.”

Is this how the world is?

#dune part 2 #dune #dune part two #dune 2024 #dune fandom #dune fanfiction #dune fic #feyd rautha #feyd x reader #dune part ii #feyd-rautha #feyd rautha harkonnen #feyd rautha fanfic #feyd rautha x oc #feyd rautha imagine #hadestown au #songfic #inspired by hadestown #dune x reader #feyd x you #austin butler #austin butler imagine #austin butler character #feyd rautha x you #feyd rautha x y/n #jada writes sometimes

[galesdevoteewife]

Gale may not be so typical squishy wizard/scholar?

-My Galeology study note-

Looking at his character sheet in the Deluxe pack gets me thinking, maybe our wizard is not exactly designed to be the typical squishy one...?

[Act2 spoiler warning]

2 things caught my eyes:

1) Great physical fitness, and good reflexes. (For your reference, Gale & Wyll are the two companions who have the highest Con: 15. I put everyone's sheets at the bottom of the post.)

His Con and Dex are... very high?? I mean, higher than Karlach and Lae'zel...????

Note 1: I suspect it could have something to do with his background as Mystra's chosen, as they are somewhat "transformed" when they agree to become the goddess's chosen. A topic for another day since I haven't quite figured it out yet, for anyone who is interested there's a chapter about it in The Seven Sisters. Also, I have little clues on how much chosen lore credit Larian was taking into account while designing him, or how Mystra's "taking back the given ability" works. Note 2: Again, Mystra's chosen are often sent on missions that involve a lot of traveling according to Elminster's series. Mystra also mentioned that Gale and she used to have adventures together, which leads to an assumption: despite his preference he might be traveling quite a lot until he was cast aside and quarantined himself in his tower. Might be the type of scholar who is very keen on field studies?

Note 3: Can someone undress Elminster to exam my theory please??xD Neh won't work I think all human might share same body model in game

Come to think of it, there was a party banter between Karlach & Gale that went like :

Karlach: Whoa! Almost slipped there. Gale: You wouldn't be the first, I'd wager. It's been some time since these walkways felt the carpenter's hammer. Karlach: You gonna catch me if I eat a brick? Gale: With my reflexes? I'd catch you before you so much as stubbed a toe.

At first I thought that was a sarcastic joke but, seems like it wasn't? Also this:

Karlach: Ready to enter the belly of the beast? Gale: It's the stairs I'm dreading. I shall close my eyes, and pretend I'm climbing my own, far superior tower in Waterdeep. Karlach: In that case, welcome home.

...So it seems when I pictured him as a homebody, I should reimagine the concept of home... His has...lots of stairs? Just walking around in the tower could be counted as a workout, sort of thing? Note: I don't think the place he shows in the Act 2 cutscene is his tower. Otherwise, aren't these neighbors pretty much doomed?

2) Not THAT smart. Well, I love him, so I will speak in his defence: [1] He has a warm(s) digging holes in his brain. [2] Poisonous magical bile running in his blood. Maybe he's just not at his best, makes sense, eh? Wyll mentioned he is nerfed after tadpole too. After all, this man obviously memorized a DICTIONARY:

Gale: You promised to stay in Waterdeep. 'Promise,' verb, meaning to swear something will or will not be done. Tara the Tressym: And I decided 'will not'. And a good thing, too. You look like you haven't had a good meal in days

Player: When I said we could be more than friends, you answered 'perhaps'. What does that really mean? Gale: If I recall correctly, the Waterdhavian Dictionary of the Common Tongue of Faerûn defines it as an adverb that conveys the meaning of 'it may be that', or 'possibly'. Gale: Sorry, sometimes I just can't help being quite insufferable. In seriousness, I'm glad you asked that question.

Along with a bunch of you-may-never-need information:

Everything about ceremorphosis? Myconid? Why in the world have him read about Cazador??? And how can he not know the distance between Waterdeep & Baldur's Gate, even Karlach ―who spent a decade, which is likely half of her life in hell― knows better geography than him. Gale either totally ignored the subject or portaled everywhere; distance meant nothing to him?? Uh, but you can't take party banters too seriously; it's buggy. How could a bug bit Karlach in the swamp? It should've been burned into ashes before it even reached her, no?

Anyway, just rambling some thoughts <3 I would have gone to Harvard if there was a major in Gale...

-DISCLAIMER- Brought to you by a brainrot wife, Galerian missionary. Be warned the article might has (strong) bias because the writer is braindead and she thinks Gale is the most awesome character in the world.

#baldur's gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 spoilers #bg3 #bg3 gale #ramblings #Galeology #bg3 datamine

[slavghoul]

Interview from Sweden Rock Magazine 10/2023

Hi, hi. There is an interview with Tobias in SRM’s newest issue, but it’s in the subscribers only section, so I thought I’d translate/share since I guess not many people will be able to get their hands on it. It is about Prequelle and it’s part of SRM’s „200 best Swedish hard rock albums of all time” series. Prequelle placed #68. The other albums may have scored higher, but for now we don’t know the whole list. Either way, enjoy. Very insightful. 

„Do you think that "Prequelle" is Ghost's worst album?” Now that’s an unusual opening question. Especially when the interview is about an album that Sweden Rock Magazine's writers and qualified Swedish hard rock musicians (including Tobias Forge) have voted as one of the 200 best Swedish hard rock albums of all time. The question wasn’t planned, but comes spontaneously, as a reaction to the first thing Tobias Forge says when we sit down on opposite sofas in the record company office. I'm here for a two-part interview, partly about the EP "Phantomime" (published in #6 2023), partly about "Prequelle". Neither record companies, artists, voters, nor even our writers who conduct interviews for this series of articles have any idea what placement an album has received. Interviews are often done well in advance and we simply don't want placements to leak and become public long before publication.

No Ghost album has ever been on the list before. The idea is actually to end the day with the "Prequelle" talk, but when Tobias Forge suddenly starts with a funny little comment that this album is probably the one that those who have voted think is Ghost's worst or least popular album, I just have to take the opportunity to ask the question: Do you think that "Prequelle" is Ghost's worst album?

No, absolutely not, he says and laughs. If I'm going to be completely pragmatic, I'd say: "How many songs do we actually play from that record?" There are songs that work damn well live and sit where they should. So it's a pretty strong album.

But is this what you are basing it on? "Prequelle" was released after Ghost had become really big so it can't be compared to "Opus Eponymous" and "Infestissumam" which you don't play many songs from. I mean, no matter what kind of record you had released when "Prequelle" came out, you would still have played many songs from it and they would have worked precisely because Ghost's songs nowadays are moulded more to the arena format.

I don't know how to answer that, it's difficult. If the album had been different, it would have been. If I'm going to talk somehow both artistically and practically, I know that for every record we have become exponentially bigger. "Prequelle" was definitely no exception, but it also took us a big step forward and upwards and we became bigger and broader. To the extent that when we introduce old songs in the live set, you notice that there are elements on albums one and two that make some songs more difficult to play. Not technically, we can play the songs, but they don't work in quite the same way as the later songs, which means that there is a slight favouritism.

I asked the original question about whether you think it's Ghost's worst album only because you directly said that this means it's the least popular one.

I'm just so full of myself I assumed all the other albums are also in the top 200, which may actually be incorrect. This might be the best album and the others aren't even there, haha.

It wasn't long after "Prequelle" was released that you were self-critical of the album in interviews, saying that it was too ballad-heavy and a bit too soft. I haven't noticed that before, you being so self-critical shortly after the release.

Yes, but I still feel that way. If, as an artist, I am only going to look at the work with the criticism that one can feel towards one's own work, I think that if things had been different or if I had more time, I might have wished that I had managed to get maybe two more hard songs. Maybe one more hard song would have fit on the album and another harder song might have phased out one of the ballads. Now five years after the album came out, I know that the two ballads ("Pro Memoria" and "Life Eternal"), which I may not think are bad, are one too many. But I know that many of the people who like the band like both of them, so it's kind of a useless argument.

Who sets the length of an album? Have you set a limit, that it can't be longer than this and have no more songs than that?

No, but it must fit on an LP disc and there is a physical limit. I think the absolute pain threshold is 46 minutes and that's 23 minutes on each side. Now maybe Mikkey Dee (co-owner of Spinroad Vinyl Factory) will raise his hand here: "But I can make it longer!" And it's maybe 48 minutes, I don't know, but I do know that when a disc starts getting so full that you start getting close to the sticker, it starts to sound bad. Especially nowadays, because recordings today are so very maximalist in scope. It's one thing if you record 60s music with drums, a guitar and bass where the sound is cleaner and finer or if you play acoustic stuff with just vocals. Bob Dylan records could have eight songs on each side and it worked all the way through. But this kind of fairly compact music doesn't work well. Not only am I a militant vinyl advocate, I think we should respect the fact that most artists don't manage to create more than 45 minutes of good music on a regular basis. A lot of famous double records are not that good. I don't think the Rolling Stones "Exile On Main St" is very good. It might as well have been on one disc. And if I'm actually going to turn it into something completely mundane, I'd say that I think it's irresponsible to sit and make records with twelve songs if it results in the record being 63 minutes long and you automatically have to make a double record. It's pretty wasteful.

When you said that it's irresponsible, I thought you were going to say that it's irresponsible to print a double vinyl because of the environmental destruction that it entails.

Of course, if we're going to be completely straightforward and not do anything that harms nature, we shouldn't even release any records, so I say this with reservation. But with that in mind and for the sake of art, I think more people should embrace the actual given format that has been the most prevalent in rock history. There is a reason why a film is usually one hour and 30 minutes. You can’t take any more. There's a certain dramaturgical structure and there’s a certain comfort in it. Then the CDs came along they screwed that up, and suddenly there weren't two sides anymore but it started one way and ended another. Now that the CD is no longer important and we've gone back to vinyl, creators should follow suit and start embracing the physical rules.

Are there songs that have been rounded off just because you thought „I have to round off here, because if I continue, it won't fit on the vinyl disc"?

We actually had that problem on the last album. „Watcher In The Sky” ended the A-side and the outro is much longer on the CD and digitally. Two minutes longer I think. Much, much, much longer. It's long, noisy and has all these dives. It's a very chaotic soundscape. You get the feeling that it goes on and on, and on the vinyl it's just the beginning of an outro and then it drops almost immediately. I think that was a huge mistake.

So the overall sound quality was more important than vinyl buyers getting everything? Because you could have pressed the vinyl and it would have fit, but you would have had to compromise the sound quality.

Yes, exactly. You can get the song to just keep going until the vinyl simply runs out. Then it just starts spinning in the middle, depending on what kind of record player you have. But the problem then, if you want to anticipate events at a creative stage, is that people today buy and listen to vinyl records and are sensitive. It's quite common for people to complain that the record is broken. I don't just mean our records, but people complain a lot about the presses. If you make ten songs, it's therefore stupid to have a too thick soundscape towards the end of song number five and song number ten. If you want to be really good and old school, that's where you put a piano ballad because it's an easier sound to handle so far into the record. This is what I think about when I make records. But clearly sometimes I miscalculate.

This must cut right through the record collector Tobias Forge's whole body and soul, that "Watcher In The Sky” is shortened by two minutes on the vinyl of all versions.

Well... I don't toss and turn and wake up in the middle of the night thinking about it anymore. But when it happened, I was livid. Luckily it was just an outro. It would have been worse if it had continued with some kind of narrative into the next song. Now I can't remember in my head how long "Prequelle" is, but if I'd had to go back in time and just re-construct it, the re-construction wouldn't have had much to do with the existing material, I would have just wanted to add a scene. And it's not a scene that's missing, it's just for the sake of balance. It became asymmetrical in a way that bothers me a bit.

You've talked about this before, but it was before "Prequelle" that you really started to talk a lot about how you were thinking about what kind of new songs might suit the live show. Can you get stuck in that mindset, thinking more about what songs are needed live right now rather than creating an album that will last 30 years?

Hmm... (long pause)... The reason I'm sitting here thinking is because I'm trying to come up with examples of other bands that I think might have gone through something similar. I’m looking for examples to the answer I'm about to formulate and that is that: yes, I think there comes a point in the career when most bands make a record because they simply feel they need to… Because what we're talking about is that when you go from playing in small smoky clubs in front of an already inveterate audience that already understands the perhaps a little more chewy expression, that experience can change if you start playing in front of a larger and especially a different type of audience. When a different type of audience comes and you play in a different format, you discover that this song doesn't work very well, it doesn't sound very good and it's difficult to get the sound right. Then there's usually a record or two or three during your career when this transition happens where you start filling in with songs that work better live. Look at Piece of mind", "Powerslave" and "Somewhere in time". There's a reason why Iron Maiden didn't play a lot of the first two albums there and then, because it was easier to play the new songs. You get to that point somewhere in your career and it's very difficult to say when it is - there's no given rule and there are artists who continue to release relevant records and have an amazing ability to release new records and just play the whole new record. Well, now Iron Maiden does that and tests their audience a little bit in that way, but then they will always compensate by doing like a "best of" set the following year so everything is forgiven. Now we're in the middle of the "Impera" period here and have a very strong set, but I'm starting to feel that now that I'm about to start writing a new album, it feels like it's not really on my agenda to write three more albums that will change the live setlist ten years ahead. I think we already have the blueprint for what is Ghost's setlist, especially if you include the entire catalogue. After a while, each new record you make becomes a little less important. It's really hard to know when that point comes, but the truth is that new records don't matter in the same way. Slayer didn't have to release "Divine Intervention”. They definitely didn't have to release "Diabolus In Musica". I didn't care about it and I just wanted to hear the old stuff. If they had just come up and played "Reign In Blood" I would have been soooo happy. And that's the way it is with most bands. Nobody would be sad if the Rolling Stones came up and didn't play anything from "Emotional Rescue". And that's just the way it is. In the future, I can see a scenario where there is probably a basis to possibly build up an alternative setlist. There are so many songs that we do not play and that I have nothing against - I love them too! But it would almost be easier to build up a completely alternative setlist and run a show with only the odd songs. There are so many songs now. There's no reason not to build on that. But when I want to make a new record, it's irresponsible for me not to consider that there might have to be some songs that are a bit more direct. But it doesn't hurt me if we have more songs that we don't play live. I don't know if this answers your question...

I would actually like to ask exactly the same question again, because I wonder if you yourself feel that you get stuck during the making of the record. You said that you would have liked to include another hard song because "Prequelle" doesn't have the balance that you would have liked to have in retrospect.

Exactly, but the explanation for that has more to do with my mental capacity there and then. I simply couldn't cope. I felt that I had probably maxed out… It was probably about as much as I could do that year. That's the simple explanation. To get another song that would have fit and that would have fulfilled this requirement that I now in retrospect would have wished I had, it would have required something that I did not have there and then. The only thing that could have made it easier is if I had more time. It is difficult to reason about it, you see.

I was in the studio for a few days during the recording and it's one of the few times in all these years that I've done interviews where someone has started crying during an interview. It was quite obvious that everything that had happened with the split of the band affected you.

Yes. Of course. It did.

Is "Prequelle" a difficult album to listen to for you? Can you sit and listen to it all the way through? 

Well, at the moment I have to do that from time to time, and listen to all the records, because we're just about to start rehearsing again and then I sometimes have to go back and just listen to the record to go: "Fuck, is that really how I sing?" Especially when we start rehearsing, I can be a bit like: "Damn, who changed this bit?” Then I usually sit down and it hits me: "Oh, it's me who has changed my song!" You simply do that over the years, you start singing it in a slightly different way. So sometimes I have to go back and listen, but it’s more practical. I don't think it's fun to listen them. I do it until they are finished. I listen over and over and over again and really try to listen with all the imaginary ears and all the imaginary perspectives you can have. "How would I have listened to this if I had heard it from this perspective?" Just to get as "objective" a perspective as I can until I'm satisfied, but then it's like „No, I don't want to hear this anymore". But I have to say that I think "Prequelle" is a very tolerable disc despite everything that interfered with the process. Therapeutically, it works quite well considering that we are still playing at least half of the album. For every artist there are songs that you want to play, and there are songs that you don’t want to play because they feel too personal. I don't feel that way about this one, it's more like: "Ah hell, they're part of the setlist and people like it and it sounds good. So that's what we're doing."

On a personal level, was Tom Dalgety the perfect producer for you, the way you were feeling at the time? Tom feels like the kindest, sweetest producer you can meet. He wasn't the kind of producer who pushed you very much, it was more of a nice atmosphere between you.

Yes, really, and it would have been different if Klas Åhlund, who is more confrontational, had been in the room. Now Klas and I are great mates, so it would certainly have been very therapeutic also, but it would have been a different process. If an artist comes in who is in such bad shape that they can't make a record, or a band where the main songwriter has just left them, then a Bob Ezrin goes in and says: "If you don't make the record, I'll make the record myself.” And he goes and makes Kiss "Destroyer" or Alice Cooper records. I'm not saying they didn't make them, just that you hear that Bob Ezrin made "Beth". It's a type of producer that's very different from a lot of other producers who maybe act a little bit more like buddies and cheerleaders and make the atmosphere good. Bob Ezrin doesn't care so much about the atmosphere in the room. Klas is somewhere in between, I would say. Given the condition I was in during "Prequelle", the result could probably have been different if Klas had come in. Ironically, there was actually talk of him doing it, but he didn't have the time and we'll never know how it would have turned out. I only know that it would have been different, but right there and then Tom was fantastic. I know that a lot of bands like to work with him because he is technically brilliant. He's really good at those typical sounds that people like: cool drums, guitar, bass, tone and clarity. He is also very "happy go lucky", a nice guy who sits and jokes all the time. Even if he has a bad day, it doesn't affect anyone else, which is convenient.

Let me compare it to when a writer contacts me after an interview and says "that was such a nice interview". For me, "nice" is not something positive in such a work situation and the result is often better when there is a little friction.

Mmm, and that is more Klas. There is more friction and more confrontation. And I was much better equipped for that at "Meliora" and later at "Impera". I felt better and was simply stronger. There wasn't the same survival instinct as on "Prequelle". If I think back, not about how the album turned out and how I have to live with it, but if I think back to the situation I was in, I was very anxious all the time. Even though I'm happy with the result, I wouldn't want to go through the recording again, even though Tom was great. Because it's hard to work when you're under attack. I realised that now when I made "Impera", when it was no longer like that. You are much more comfortable, it doesn't feel the same, you are more mature, you make better decisions, you are more controlled or dare to be uncontrolled. When things are this serious, you can end up in a freeze mode. Maybe that's also why there wasn't another song. The song that I miss doesn't exist because I simply squeezed out everything I had. If I had been in a different emotional state, I might have been more comfortable working out something at the last second from bits and pieces. But I felt that I really just wanted to get it done, deliver it, get back out on tour and start over again.

When you described being more mature during "Impera" you sounded like a 70-year-old, kind of like all the Aerosmith-like bands that have been fighting all their lives and now that they're in their 70s they say "we're soooo mature,” haha.

I think with all artists, especially when they're required to work in a group, there are many recordings that have been a collision with a wall because you're expected to function in a context all the time, whatever and whenever. But you do change and from one year to a few years down the line there can be a huge difference in a person's drive, hunger and priorities in life. Whether you have the same band structure as I do or whether you play in Metallica, people come in one state and they may end up in another, because you have different priorities at different times. It's unfortunately against the whole rock myth. I think that's the biggest problem for bands and businesses, that you always have this idea that if you just get to a certain stage - not just monetarily or career-wise, but you get to a certain stage of fun - then we've reached the status quo. But that is never the case! Never! There’s always something. Even in the best moments when everything is working, the band is awesome, everyone is working well, the crew is awesome, everyone is laughing, it's just a party all the time mentally, you have the world's best tour manager, everything is flowing and the tickets are selling, there will always be someone who doesn't like it and then has to break away and want to do their thing because it's no longer fun. It's usually somewhere in the lead-up to a stage where it's interesting and then once you've achieved it, it all becomes a bit boring. Just like in a relationship some people may eventually think, "well, that's a bit boring, I have to go out and do something else".

Since I was in the studio when you were laying down guitars on "Witch Image", my heart beats a little extra for that song and I thought it would be a great live song, but you've barely played it (at the time of writing it's Ghost's forty-fourth most played song live).

We did it during the "Prequelle" tour, or "A Pale Tour Named Death" as it was called. Then we did quite a few "an evening with" concerts, for better or worse. The advantage was that if you were a big fan of the band we actually played a lot of songs and actually a lot of the first albums, like "Idolatrine" - or "Witch Image". We did a set, a break and then a whole other set. That was a bit of a taste of what I was talking about earlier: doing a slightly larger set and then a slightly smaller one. You just shouldn't do it on the same night because it gets a bit stale. We played for two hours and 30 minutes or something and that wasn’t a good idea, haha. At least we did "Witch Image", but it has fallen behind a bit and it doesn't mean that we will never play it again, just that we don't do it right now. What I've been happy about is that there has been a feeling for the records that we've made recently, "Prequelle" and "Impera", that people still want to hear the new stuff. We haven't gotten to that stage that I talked about earlier when it doesn't matter anymore. Then it's very fun to try to find a new way to perform the songs, not technically, but suddenly a song like "Witch Image" might fulfill a very nice purpose between a completely new song and another song.

Let me speculate: in 30 years, I think "Rats" will be considered the great hard rock song, "Dance Macabre" the great hit and "Life Eternal" the great ballad. What do you think? Will this in the future be seen as the three big songs of the album?

Yes, that makes sense, I think. I understand that an instrumental song automatically ends up in the wake of a "best of" collection, in the sense that you do one in 30 years. I realise it's not a hit but the instrumental "Miasma" is a big part of our live show. It's strong and feels like such a keeper. Now we don't play "Life Eternal" very often actually, but it was very well received. For some reason people like to get married to it, I don’t know why, hehe. It's nice but it's also a bit like U2’s „I still haven't found what I'm looking for" and you don't use that one at a wedding. But people like it and I guess interpret it differently to me. It’s also a song that I don't think is fun to play live.

And why not?

Because I find it hard to play ballads. Physically, they don't feel the same as rock songs. I miss the "dunka dunka". Now everyone who plays music today knows what I mean - sorry, readers who don't play music - and it's that there's a small problem with having in-ear monitors. This means that you have to reach a certain frequency of beats in order to feel the music, unlike when you played at clubs with only a guitar amp behind you. You felt every single note you made and it just went through your body. Nowadays, I think it's sometimes hard when you play slow songs, because you have to trust that it sounds good, whereas when you play a rock song, you feel that it sounds good.

Does it also apply to "He Is” which is such a huge ballad, not least live?

Well, just the intro and then it gets going quite quickly and suddenly becomes a hard and rather fast-paced song. The classic ballad concept has always been that you play so-called edge beats to make it sound soft, while "He Is” is actually a rather hard-played song considering that it is a ballad. Once the drums come in – boom, boom – it's got AC/DC bite to it. It has a rock feel to it that "Life Eternal" doesn't really have. As I said, I don't think that "Life Eternal" is a lot of fun to perform, but that doesn't mean that it isn't quite good to listen to. It’s just that when I play "Dance Macabre" or "Mummy Dust" I feel that I can express myself physically more in line with what the text says and what it means.

#the band ghost #tobias forge #interview #prequelle era

[talas-starlight]

Scarred Spirits - Zuko x fem!reader (pt.7)

Summary: reactions from team avatar when they find out your ozais assassin

warning: mentions of scars, not very happy gaang, mean katara!, angst

masterlist: here!

most previous part: here! (all other parts can be found in my masterlist!)

authors note! hello!! idk if anyone will be reading this but if you are welcome!! i haven't posted to this series in YEARS so please forgive me as I'm very rusty at writing but please enjoy!

Unified screams erupted upon Appa. “YOU’RE WHAT!”

“Aang what have you done! You literally let a murderer on Appa! She’s going to kill all of us! Katara was right, and I can’t believe I ignored her.”

“I KNEW IT! Quickly Aang, land Appa and let’s get her off!”

Unable to take it anymore, Toph lost her cool. “Can you knuckle heads shut up! I highly doubt that she will kill us, why the hell would she listen to you guys fighting all the time when she could end her misery by taking you out.”

Reality hitting Sokka and Katara, they finally piped down, allowing Toph to continue.

“Look, what you said is highly questionable. I’m not saying that I trust you, but you’re going to have to give us more information than that or else I’ll throw you off myself. Got it?”

You sighed. At least someone in the group had more sense. “Yeah, of course. What would you like to know?”

“Well for starters a name would be great. Oh and maybe, I don’t know, how and why you’re the Fire Lords Assassin?!”

You almost wanted to pull Katara’s braid for the irritating look of satisfaction on her face. “Right okay… well my name is y/n. uhhh and I was forced to become his assassin when he caught me after I broke into the palace three years ago.”

“That’s it?! Nuh uh lady. I know he’s the Fire Lord and had done some awful things but why would he do that to a child?! You’re either lying or somethings still missing.”

There was a lot to weigh up. To suddenly reveal everything about you would be too much and would get you thrown off Appa anyway. Yet to reveal nothing wouldn’t let you gain enough trust to even last a day. Leaving you to share the one thing you knew so little about yourself that you didn’t care if they knew and hopefully enough of a miserable, pitying tale that they’d let you off the hook for the time being.

“My parents aren’t in my life, they never were. I don’t know who they were or why they did it. All I had was my trainer, Zemin. In his time, he was the most notorious Assassin in the entire Fire Nation and when he retired, he never took on any students to carry on his legacy - if you could even call it that. Every other trainer was ecstatic because this meant that their students would earn the most bounties. Until there was me. I don’t know why he took me in… he just said that he found me as in infant and regretfully took me from an islands rocky shore maybe to sell me off somewhere. I suppose he realised he could make even more money from me if he trained me until I could pay off debt for him raising me. I did the one thing assassins could do, kill. All the money I ever earned from each bounty went straight to him. Luckily enough, I learned quickly, and I got to my final payment when I was 13, then he would have set me free.”

Horrified, Aang couldn’t believe what he was hearing. There was nothing like this in the Air Temples growing up. “Luckily enough?! How in any universe is that lucky!”

“Most assassins in the Fire Nation, and others, are stuck paying off their guardians or trainers well into their adulthood. Because of… certain tactics and advantages, I became quite popular if you could put it that way and most of the people, I had to take care of were…” Halting, you knew that if you verbally said some lives are worth more than others, Aang would probably go into cardiac arrest.

“Well, some had more people wanting them gone so the bounty was higher.”

“How does this have anything to do with you working for the fire lord! I don’t see why Zemin would let you go if you were doing so much for him.”

Your strength was fading. You hated yourself for how much you scretly enjoyed having people around that weren’t as idealistic as those in the Fire Nation.  “He didn’t. I got an anonymous mission to take out a high general in the palace. So high, that it was going to be enough for me to finish my debt.” After not being met with screams you felt reassured to continue…. they seem to be taking this well…

You took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “On my way out, I got caught in the middle of an Agni Kai. The fire lord wasn’t too pleased I killed one of his generals or interfered with punishing his son. Yet somehow in his psychopathic mind he saw it as an opportunity to pledge my allegiance to him.”

The silence amongst the group was short lived.

“YOU MEAN ZUKO?”

“YOU KILLED SOMEONE.”

“AND YOU ACCEPTED?”

You scrunched your face. Maybe this was a bad idea to tell them. But it was too late to go back. “Yes, it was Prince Zuko in the Agni Kai, that’s how he got his scar. Yes, Aang I did kill the general, but to be fair I haven’t killed anyone since then… And Katara if you were being tortured every day for 8 months, I’m sure you would wear down too.”

The waterbender was unsatisfied with your answer. “Unbelievable! Of course, you did! Everyone has a choice in this world, and you chose the fire lord. You’re nothing but a coward.”

“My life was on the line! You don’t know anything about me.”

“Oh please, y/n. I do. I know everything! Sure, you were raised to assassinate others, but you can’t expect me to believe you didn’t know what you were doing when you were standing before Ozai. I would have stayed in a life of suffering than go with him.” Shaking her head, she pierces you with a disgusted look, “You’re no better than Ozai. No better than Azula.”

As Appa continued to glide through the ever-ending expanse of the sky, it seemed nothing could break the suffocating tension that encompassed everyone upon his saddle.

Toph was the only one to speak up. “Didn’t you hear her Katara? She hasn’t killed anyone since then! She’s surviving. If you ask me… she’s braver than any of us, you never know what could have happened to her if she got caught not actually killing her targets!”

Irritated Katara only grumbled, turning away while leaving the two boys to think about how they felt about you. Despite giving them answers, they still had so many questions.

It was undeniably clear that Katara has made her mind up about you, and you were sure everyone else was the same despite the earth benders attempts at comforting you. Hence, as you sat there across from the four of them, you were the first to break eye contact, turning your head to the side as you searched for something to focus on out there in the sky. Bird, a cloud, anything. You didn’t have the heart, the courage, to argue against what she said.

Unknown to you, Aang shuffled closer to you scared that his angry friend might hear him going towards you. His words only just loud enough to hear above the wind he whispered to you… “Its okay y/n. I don’t really understand what you’ve done or what you’ve been through but when youre ready.. you can tell us.

That was the first time your heart ignited a comforting warmth.

As Appas soft paws skilfully landing on the hard earth, you felt your heart drop inside you. What do I do now? Mind racing through all the possibilities, Toph seemed to have decided what to do before you could even stand.

“Hey! Come with me.”

Jumping off Appas saddle you landed on your feet with such a skilled silence, Toph had to sense your heartbeat to even realise you were next to her. Setting off towards where she’d set up her sleeping area, it was best you stuck closely behind.

“Don’t think about what Katara said, she doesn’t get it.”

“How so?”

Stalling in her tracks, she turned her unseeing gaze towards you. “She doesn’t know what its like to be born into a life that you don’t want. And she definitely doesn’t know how hard it can be trying to escape it.”

Unsure with how to reply, humming in understanding was the best you could come up with.

“Just stick with me and you’ll be fine. I know you most certainly don’t need me, but I’ve got your back.”

The next day had gone by agonizingly slow. With Toph trying to teach Aang earth bending you were left to your own devices since Katara decided to tag along. Although you found yourself tailing Sokka as he went his own way looking for food unaware of your silent giggles seeing him get stuck in the ground.

“...big things eat smaller things. Nothing personal. But this time, it didn’t work out that way…I admit it, you’re cute…”

You decide to finally reveal yourself, tired of your lack of entertainment. “What are you doing down there Sokka?”

Letting out a girl like squeal, he’s horrified at getting caught in this position. “Nothing!”

“You look like you could use some help.”

“I don’t want help from you!” You dismiss it. Surely he has no other choice but to make himself acquainted with you.

“Yeah, right. It’s funny, you’re probably the third person that has ever said that to me. The second in about the span of 48 hours.” you cant help but divert your attention towards the cute animal annoying him. “Aweee look at this cutie!”

“Get away from it!”

“Why should I do that?”

“Because I don’t want you to hurt it!”

“Please, I actually quite like animals. They’re a lot better than humans anyway.”

“I- well… fine! Just go away?”

You scoff, “Why’s that?”

“I don’t like you!”

“Hmm… is that so.”

“Yes, of course it is!”

You’re done feeling sorry for yourself. “Are you sure you don’t like me, or do you feel that way because of your sister?”

“I- well… argh! Fine! I don’t know.”

“Well… why don’t you talk to me and work it out for yourself? If you still dislike me so much I’ll leave you be and get someone to come help.”

A  silence fills the distance between the two of you.

He sighs, caving in, “So.. this Zemin guy. Did he REALLY not give you a choice?”

Looking up, you stare at the clear sky. “I learnt early on in my training that I didn’t have a choice or options in life other than what he wanted. Any exercise I rushed through, half assed, or tried to skip through when he wasn’t looking came with consequences.”

“What kind of consequences?”

“The kind that keeps all of my clothing and bindings on so I don’t constantly get pitiful looks or too many questions.”

He scoffs, “prove it”

Staring at all your layers you sigh, “don’t say I never warned you.”

Peeling off all your layers one by one until your down to just your tank top and pants, you decide to take off your face mask last. Your eyes meeting Sokka’s, you notice him swallow thickly. But its you to break the ice first. “In all fairness, most of them are now from Ozai. The older they look… well I’m sure you can work it out for yourself.”

“b-but-“Fuck why did I have to make him uncomfortable.

Unable to take it any longer, you pull him out from the hole in the ground. “Its fine.”

You turn to walk away after helping him, but he grabs your scarred wrist, the feeling of the textured skin making him internally wince. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made you expose yourself like that. Its horrible that you had to experience that… hell we look the same age!”

“Everyone is on different paths. Look, lets just forget about it..”

Sokka feels like he could bust into tears “No! you don’t understand. I’ve seen the effects of the fire nation… hell they took away my mum. I still remember it, sometimes I have weeks where I keep reliving it in my nightmares, only finding peace when im awake. Its like im being haunted. But- but you?! You have to face it whether you’re awake or asleep”.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you can’t handle the intensity of his words. Theres nothing you can do. Nothing you can say. You hug him. You don’t remember the last time you held someone. It feels weird, almost wrong. But as he squeezes you back, tightening the embrace, you understand one thing. You have an understanding with the water tribe boy, despite how dark it may feel.

Hours pass by as you sit with sokka talking about useless topics until the other three join you once more. Feeling weariness in their gaze, you realise you forgot to put your layers back on. Now everyone can see your face and scars.

Only Aang has the courage to speak with you.

“Hey. Uhhh, y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“I just… I’m sorry for not speaking much with you since yesterday. I didn’t mean to, it was just a lot to process personally! Growing up with the Air Nomads, I was taught that killing is wrong and that under no circumstance should that be the answer. If I’m completely honest with you, I still stand by those teachings and to have someone who has… killed… so close to me and the people I care the most about is… unsettling.”

There it was. You knew despite how much he was trying; you knew he wouldn’t be able to see past what you did. What you are.

“I understand. I don’t blame you, or anyone for reacting the way they are, and I know what it feels like to want to protect those who mean something to you.” You glance at Sokka, remembering how he understood.

“Just… please understand that I’ve realised what I did was wrong and while I can’t change everything that I have done, I’m trying to move away from that way of life. I don’t want to be a killer anymore. I’m trying my best to fix it.”

“I know…. Its just-“

“You don’t trust me.”

“What?! NO! I mean…. I don’t know. You clearly have good inside of you but it’s hard to look past.”

“I get it. I’ll head off then, the world needs you Aang and I won’t be the one to stand it your way.”

“No! stop! Please! I know I said it’s hard for me to do, but I clearly see you trying your best. I know you won’t hurt me. I just… I suppose I need to open my eyes more. See you for who you are now, what you’re doing now.”

But what if you can’t? What if I’m still that person, no matter how much I try to shove it away. This is what I have been made to become?

“Okay.”

Letting out a nervous quiet laugh, he glances back to everyone. “okay well… lets eat!”

Zuko stares at the sky in the heavy downpour. “You always through everything you could at me. Well, I can take it. And now I can give it back!”

Lightning cacks in the sky before his eyes.

“Come on!”

“Strike me! You never held back before!”

Met with only the sound of the world around him, he feels helpless. Lost. Alone.

Screaming out, Zuko falls to his knees as the rain and guilt encompasses all of his senses.

His voice scratchy from screaming, he can hardly croak out… “You never held back from her."

taglist: ​​ @mangoberry43​​ @eridanuswave​​ @slythergirlimagines ​​​ @whiskeywinter89​​ @simplyfandomish @khaleesi-of-assassins​ ​ ​ @calciumcow @ilovespideyyy @callums-keith @nnon-it-up @blackhood5sos @chewymoustachio @tiffy119 @reclusive-chicken-nugget @lozzybowe​ @scarletemeterio​​ @simpinforsukka​ ​ ​ @sokkassuki​ @spearbatty @kaylove12

#zuko x reader #zuko fanfic #zuko #the gaang #zuko angst #atla zuko #prince zuko #avatar aang #aang #toph #sokka #suki #avatar the last airbender #atla #zuko x aang #aang x katara #atla aang

[jujutsubaby]

after hours (part 4)

☆ pairing: toji fushiguro x afab!reader, satoru gojo x afab!reader ☆ summary: you and toji FINALLY have some alone time...things are getting steamy in the fushiguro household...meanwhile, satoru gojo cannot keep his hands to himself, no matter how hard he tries. ☆ warnings: 18+. MINORS DNI !! oral sex (f!recieving & m!recieving) deepthroating, fingering, spanking, penetrative sex, slight power dynamic, dirty talk, hints of a threesome, masturbation, dirty fantasies ☆ tags: modernAU, babysittingAU ☆ a/n: OK IT"S FINALLY HERE U HORNDOGS <3 the toji smut i wrote once again with one hand 😈 i'm excited for the next chapter where i can finally write some gojo smut hehe 🤭 🖤🤍 series masterlist 🤍🖤

"be right back, gonna tuck megumi into bed really quick," toji says to before giving you a quick peck on the lips and heading upstairs.

you sit on toji’s couch, twiddling your thumbs, quite honestly feeling excited for the rest of the night. you’ve wanted this for long it feels like you manifested it and you just couldn’t wait any longer. you close your eyes and sigh deeply, imagining how toji’s hands would feel sliding up and down your body and shiver slightly. your hand starts wandering lower and lower down your stomach, but your thoughts are abruptly interrupted by your phone dinging. you immediately frown. getting a text from satoru is always an immediately boner kill…sometimes.

satoru: wyd wanna come over?

ugh, how many times do i have to tell him that i’m busy tonight? you quickly type a response.

y/n: dude i alr told u i was busy tn remember 😒

satoru: are u fr gonna let toji’s broke ass dick you down instead of hangin w me?? sad 😔

y/n: yes 🙃 best offer i’ve had tn

speech bubbles show up, indicating satoru is typing, and continues to type for what feels like hours (it was 30 seconds). 

satoru: i guarantee u i can blow ur back better than he can. just ask anyone 😈

you stare at the text dumbfounded. what the actual FUCK is he on? you’re honestly so annoyed that he would try to slide into your thoughts right now, right before toji blows your mind. 

y/n: kys

you put your phone on vibrate and mute satoru’s texts, not caring how he responds back. you go back to the fantasy you were thinking of before his intrusion and your hand starts sliding down your body once again. you’re imagining toji’s arms holding you tight and how skillful he was with his tongue last night. he never properly showed love to your tits, and you imagine him continuing what he was doing earlier in the night with your delicate buds. and satoru choking you while it happens. wait, what the fuck?

your hand immediately stops, shocked by your intrusive thoughts, but your lower body betrays you, soaking your panties. 

as if your heart wasn't beating fast enough, you hear toji come down the stairs and you get up to meet him. he holds a hand out for you.

"have you ever been to my bedroom?" he asks, leading you up the stairs.

you giggle, excited to see toji's bedroom for the first time. "i haven't! i'm so excited! i feel like a person's bedroom says a lot about them and i just love-"

you're left speechless as you enter toji's bedroom, which is just plain sheets on a king sized mattress without a headboard, and a measly bedside drawer and dresser. you think you saw one of the two on the sidewalk last spring for spring cleaning.

"this is where the magic happens, pumpkin," toji says slyly. "i know, i know, contain yourself."

"there's no way you live like someone who's in kappa sigma. be so fucking for real right now, toji. you're literally a father..." you say, still in absolute shock over over his room. you vowed back in undergrad you would never hook up with a frat guy ever again and here now is this mid-30s man who you were about to link up with that doesn't have a headboard. you look up at toji nonplussed.

"i guarantee that you won't give a shit about how this place looks once i'm done with you." with that, toji lifts you up and starts kissing you deeply, tongue feverishly exploring yours. he slams your body down into his bed, and you're surprised that his bed is softer than you expected. your body melts into his sheets and you never break contact with his mouth, moaning into the kiss.

he breaks the kiss and flips you over, causing you to squeak. "let's get this thing off of you," toji growls, his eyes filled with hunger as he fiddles with the zipper on your back. you arch your back out, your ass meeting his hard member, and he hisses at the slight touch.

"calm down, pumpkin...so eager and slutty for me..." toji whispers as he finally undoes the buttons and zippers. it practically takes everything toji has to not rip your jumpsuit to shreds as he turns you over and peels your jumpsuit off of you, exposing your chest and your perky nipples.

he wastes no time and immediately latches on to one while kneading the other, and you let out a wanton moan, gripping his hair. the things he's doing with his tongue is sending electricity throughout your body and your back arches in pleasure.

toji moves on to your other nipple, and lightly bites and rolls it between his mouth, causing you to yell out a pathetic "toji, please..."

"what do you need from me, pumpkin?" he asks, lifting his head up and locking eyes with you.

"n-need...i need you in my mouth." you whimper, feeling so helpless to the lustful indulgence you were giving into.

toji grunts and places your hand on his hard member and you use your fingers to unzip his pants and palm him through his boxer briefs, whining for more. "can't keep my pumpkin waiting, can i?" he says, as he pulls his underwear down and his throbbing member bounces out.

your eyes widen at the sheer size of him, but you were never a quitter. your mouth salivates as your fingers wrap around him and start to move up and down. you kiss the tip and leave a trail of saliva connecting your lips to his throbbing member, before fully engulfing him in your mouth.

you hear toji let out a guttural moan before his hands fixate themselves as your makeshift ponytail. "just like that...yeah...you're taking me so well, pumpkin..." he says softly between throaty sighs. he starts moving your head up and down at a faster pace and you moan around him.

the vibrations of your constant moans sends toji into a frenzy. "fuck, y'think you can deepthroat me? think your little mouth can handle that?" he asks between deep breaths.

your eyes look up to meet his. you give him the green light, and toji wastes no time picking up the pace and fucking your mouth. your whimpers against him only motivates him to go faster. you don't think your mouth has ever been this full (and you're sure it's gonna be bruised tomorrow morning), and tears start to brim your eyes and mascara slowly smudges down your face. you're determined to take his full length into your mouth, or at least gag trying until he's close.

you should've known better than trying to fit all of him in. he's so incredibly huge so you don't get to take in his full length, and you end up gagging on him a few times. soon enough, toji finds a pace that allows your tongue to skillfully lick and suck his entire length while your hand takes over what you can't.

"f-fuck, pumpkin, you keep goin' like this i'm gonna get close..." toji says, his eyes closed, face flushed, and his mouth in an o-shape, taking in the sensations your mouth was performing. it really was a spectacularly lewd performance, as toji cannot recall another time another girl was so skilled with their tongue. none of the girls he fucked before compared to you.

you continue your ministrations, and just as toji warned before, he gets dangerously close before he abruptly pulls his soaked, leaking member off your mouth. you cry out at the loss of him inside your mouth, but finally relax your jaw as toji starts kissing your neck all the way up to your mouth, and then back to your neck.

as he starts to bite your neck and leaves, what you think will be, a giant purple patch tomorrow morning, you wantonly cry out. "t-toji~ please, i can't handle this anymore," as tears start to well up in your eyes from deepthroating him. "i-i n-need you i-inside m-mee~" you beg. your mind can barely form a coherent thought, as all you could think about was how you wanted to feel him. all of him.

toji lets out a breathy chuckle as he starts kissing you down your body, slowly removing the rest of your jumpsuit and leaving you in your - oh my god? why the hell are you wearing your pink panties with burger prints all over them?!

"ohmygod, sorry i totally forgot to change into sexy pant- ohh, f-fuck~"

toji kisses your wet clothed core deeply, hitting your bundle of nerves, causing you to stop mid-sentence. "these are fuckin' adorable, pumpkin," toji coos, his eyes never once leaving your clothed core, hypnotized by the sight of your wet panties sticking to your core in front him.

he slowly takes off your burger panties, and locks eyes with you, before his tongue flicks across your bundle of nerves, causing you to practically scream at how sensitive you were. toji smirks, knowing he quite literally hit the right nerve, before diving into it.

"o-ohh, f-fu-, don't stop, pleaaase~" you whine as you hold his head in place between your legs. you grind your core up and down, feeling your sensitive nub shoot pleasure through all part of your body and causing your toes to curl.

"you know, i think we forgot to get dessert tonight...", toji teases as he switches to his fingers rubbing rough circles on your bundle of nerves. "you taste better than anything we would've got..."

you breaths become heavier and shorter as you feel the familiar dam build up begging to release. "remember when i made you cum all over my face last time princess? let's do it two for two," toji says between licks to your sensitive and throbbing core.

"y-yes p-please, toji~" you nod, already feeling yourself coming undone. "i-i'm about to...please~" you beg, unable to stop the dam from breaking and you release over toji's mouth once again. toji takes in every part of you, making sure you ride your release until the very end, almost to the point of overstimulating you.

you to jerk your hips away from toji's mouth due to how overstimulated you got. satisfied, toji leans up to give you a wet open mouthed kiss that you whimper into pathetically, unable to properly prop yourself up after your first release. before you're able to say anything, toji flips you over on your chest and pulls your exposed ass up as he slips off his underwear.

"been waiting my turn for ages, pumpkin," he mumbles, as he licks his two fingers before sliding them inside your entrance, stretching and prepping your for his length. you let our a throaty moan as you feel yourself already ready for another release over just his fingers.

"think you can handle me, pumpkin?" he asks, taking his fingers out of you and you mewl at the loss of contact.

you bit your lip and widen your eyes as you look at him. his pupils were dilated and filled with lust, and you bit back a moan. "i can take you," you pout, feigning displeasure with toji's diffidence towards you. can you though? you've never had something as big as him inside you, and you knew it. but once again, you were never a quitter, always a pleaser.

he wordlessly chuckles, as he slowly teases your entrance with his tip. you shake your hips back and forth, eager to feel him fully inside you, and toji obliges, unapologetically sliding his full length inside your eager entrance.

he anticipates your long moan, and immediately slaps his hand over your mouth, and your cries end up muffled and muted. toji hisses at the way your walls immediately tighten around him.

"fuck, pumpkin. never met anyone tighter than you..." he grunts, slowly and rhythmically moving himself against your ass. you feel him hit the sensitive patch inside you, and your moans are muffled even further as toji tightens his hand around your mouth harder.

after pounding into you for a bit more, he releases his hand from your mouth, causing you to slur out toji's name. "t-toji~ i'm getting sooo clo-"

you're cut off by toji switching angles, as he pushes your back down, creating a harsh arch of your back. your face sinks headfirst into the pillows, and your ass flush against the base of toji's throbbing member. your whimpers are muffled against the pillows, as toji masterfully and ruthlessly starts to slam into you in and out. he's getting close, but he's determined to hold out until you are too.

toji's hand slips around your waist and his fingers start circling your bundle of nerves, causing you whimper and grab the bedsheets until your knuckles turn white. he switches up the sensation by giving your ass a harsh slap, earning a high pitched moan out of you. seeing the red palm imprint on your ass cheek spurs him on to hammer into you even faster.

you feel the familiar tight coil starting inside your core, spreading all over your body. your toes and fingers curl, and you're a moaning crying mess. your makeup is definitely staining toji's sheets but your don't even care. no one does.

toji alternates between relentlessly massaging your delicate nub and playfully slapping your ass as he's teetering closer and closer to the edge.

he feels your walls clench up around him and can tell your close. "need a release, pumpkin?" he says through gritted teeth and deep breaths.

you don't even understand what you say, your words slurred from the ecstasy of toji's sublime movements. how is he managing to hit your g-spot every single time?

"nnghh~ i-i'm g-gonna c-cu-"

you cry out in ecstasy as your walls begin to tighten around him as you feel the tight coil in your stomach unfurl with fireworks and spots blurring your vision as you have your second, and strongest, release of the night. your release directly results in toji's as you milk his hard throbbing pulsating member and he fills you up. he lets out quick, deep, guttural groans as he spills all over you. thank god you're on birth control.

you both are left breathing heavily, as you turn on your back, legs still twitching from how hard your body gave in to toji, who bounces into the spot next to you breathing heavily. you feel toji's seed slowly seeping out of you, but you can't bring yourself to care; you're far too fucked out to think a coherent thought.

he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close as you snuggle into his neck, just like a puzzle piece finding it's place. you sigh and close your eyes, hearing nothing the sound of your breaths in unison slowing down.

"that...was...so fun..." you whisper slowly in between breaths.

toji airily chuckles. "it was, wasn't it, pumpkin?" toji starts massaging your scalp an playing with your hair and you both sit in the comfortable companionable silence you both appreciated.

toji doesn't know when your silence turned into slumber, but when he gets up, he sees your eyes closed with your mouth slightly open, your mind somewhere far away. he knows he shouldn't wake you, but he also knows you really should use the bathroom before falling asleep. deciding on letting you sleep a bit more before waking you, he tries his best to slowly get out of the creaky bed and head to the washroom.

toji won't lie, he's also incredibly fucked out, and his eyes are droopy as he tries to stay awake while he brushes his teeth and gets out an extra tooth brush for you. once he's done, he approaches you silently and lightly shakes you to wake you up.

"mmmghh, stoppp i'm trying to sleep..." you mumble, clearly unreceptive to waking up.

"i know, pumpkin," toji coos, rubbing your body up and down, "y'gotta pee after sex, i read it somewhere i think..."

you sleepily giggle at his concern with your eyes closed as you lay on your back. "ugh, fine...but you have to keep my spot warm for me." you warn, as toji helps you get up.

"left you a toothbrush on the counter. it's the blue one."

"gotcha," you say with a thumbs up as you swing your legs over the bed. as you take the first step, you double down over the pain you feel in your abdomen and lower stomach and yelp.

a concerned toji runs over to your side, only to start grinning and laughing. he leans down your level. "ohhh, someone's sore..." he teases.

"shut up toji~" you yell in a loud whisper, frowning at him laughing at your pain. "this is all your fault," you pout.

"okay, go pee and brush your teeth and i'll make it up by playing w your hair again until you sleep," he promises, giving your ass a quick slap. you give him a playfully dirty look before heading to the bathroom to finish your business.

while brushing your teeth, you send quick text to shoko letting her know you're planning to stay the night with toji. immediately, you get a text back from her acknowledging it, but even more surprisingly, you get a text from satoru:

satoru: so ur spending the night at his place, huh? that good? 🤨

no way they're together right now. you furrow your eyebrows and send a quick text back.

y/n: what are you doing w shoko

satoru: i'm at ur apartment stupid i told u i got bored

y/n: stay away frm my room

satoru: too late i'm going to do 3/3 of my jerk offs in ur bed tn :/

you don't know why you snorted. i mean it was a little funny. you shake your head and finish brushing your teeth. you look at your reflection in the mirror and notice all the mascara and eyeliner streaks on your face and have to hold back a laugh. you're looking so ridiculous and fucked out, and you know shoko and utahime would find it hilarious (and partially very happy for you for having a fun time). you grab your phone and take a selfie of your makeup streaked face and send it to your group chat with them.

y/n: [1 Photo] it happened ya'll 🤪

utahime and shoko both immediately respond:

utahime: u deserve this queen u manifested it 💓

shoko: i do NOT want to hear that ur down bad ever again after this

shoko: also !! [1 Photo]

shoko sends you a screenshot of her and utahime's villager avatars on their animal crossing island, cottagecore witchy theme and all, holding hands. this might possibly be the cutest thing you've ever seen in your life and send at least 10 hearts in response.

you let out a big yawn and head back to bed. you have an early morning tomorrow, as you made plans with your friends to meet up at cafe amanai again to dissect the parent teacher conference. you can't remember why you were so nervous about tonight -- it went just as lovely as you hoped (aside from all the dumb texts from satoru).

"gotcha this also so you're not cold," toji mumbles, half alseep, pointing to his national park t-shirt on the bed. you put it on, and it's the perfect oversized fit for you. oh my god, it's kinda cute...should you keep it?

you get into bed and bonk toji's head lightly. "hey! you said you would play with my hair," you chide, facing away from him, but pushing your body snugly against his. he pulls you even closer, accepting his role as the big spoon, and mumbles something you can't hear starts playing with your lightly.

you hum in contentment. "by the way, this t-shirt..." you yawn. "it's...so dilfy."

"hmm..." toji says half alseep, "bet you say that to all the dilfs you fuck..."

you feel so warm inside when you realize you can hear his smile in that response, even half asleep. "you got me," you joke, as the sound of toji's breathing and his fingers caressing your scalp sends you into a blissful slumber within minutes.

meanwhile, at your apartment, shoko and utahime are bidding farewell to suguru and satoru. utahime is trying not to rush them out, but she really doesn't want her night to be more soiled by satoru than it already is, and shoko agrees.

satoru drives himself and suguru back, mostly in silence since it is past midnight, and they are both incredibly tired. once back at their apartment, like clockwork, satoru finds himself doing the motions to get ready for bed.

his head plops into his silk pillow and despite being obviously tired and having an early morning of gossip sessions, work, and classes ahead of him, he cannot stop thinking about the photo he sneakily saw of you on shoko's phone -- the one of your mascara running down your face.

if he recalls correctly, you didn't have a neck hemline in the photo either, so you were probably naked too. he's trying really hard not to think about him fucking your mouth like that. no, he really is, he swears his hands are just reaching down his boxers magically. he's also getting hard despite trying to replace your face with literally any other girl he's slept with, but it always reverts back to you.

satoru always makes jokes about blowing your back out, and he knows he's joking...right? it's just a cheeky joke he makes with one of his best friends, satoru thinks, as he's starts stroking himself more passionately.

his breath hitches, and he imagines you- no, not you, that, uh, other girl...what's her name? jessica? he imagines jessica's face tearing up as he casually rams himself deeper into your throat - no, jessica's throat!

fuck, satoru thinks, reaching closer to the edge of no return. at this point, he's shameless as he let's his fantasies run wild. he thinks of you on your knees, tongue sticking out, waiting for him to spill all over your fucked out face. satoru climaxes hard, and wishes nothing more than to watch you clean it up with your mouth.

god, satoru knows it's wrong but you both have bad habits of blurring the lines of your friendship...

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji fushiguro #toji fushigro x reader #toji x reader #toji zenin #fushiguro toji #jjk modern au #jjk smut #toji smut #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #toji x y/n #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #toji fushiguro x y/n #toji fushiguro smut #jjk fan fiction #saturo gojo x y/n #saturo gojo smut #gojo smut #gojo x y/n #saturo gojo x reader #gojo x toji x reader #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #toji x gojo x reader

[world-of-aus]

Warnings: None.

Author's Note: Chapter one of A Second Chance At Life, it's been a hot minute since I've worked on a series so hopefully I haven't lost it! Thank you all for reading and I truly hope you enjoy this piece. Happy Readings!

Bucky’s on the iron gate, Steve, Sam, and Natasha all by his side as they watch you in the gated arena with Grant. His boy has the brightest smile Bucky thinks he’s ever seen grace his son’s lips; it almost mirrors the one he gets when he sees Natasha waiting for him on the porch with his uncle Steve.  

Grant had been excited this morning to show his uncles and aunt his rope work and had been even more thrilled to show his skills when he discovered there was a guest joining them. A guest Bucky hadn’t been aware was coming till Steve dumped the news on him ten minutes before your arrival with the redhead Steve called his wife. He had been livid with his best pal when he discovered the reason for you joining them this morning. 

‘I don’t need your help with this Steve I told you last night I was going to get on it, and I will get on it.’ 

‘Buck you have a lot on your plate, Natasha just wanted to help, let us help you with this.’ 

Bucky had struggled to bite back the ‘but he’s my son’ that laid on his tongue, his face becoming stoic, cold as he glared down his friend. He hadn’t budged a bit, not even when Natasha brought you through the house to introduce you to the brooding brunette, the scowl on his features unmoving despite the warm smile on yours. His son Grant, god bless his soul had made up for his father's bad mood, bounding up to you with a smile as warm as yours and an all too cheerful greeting. 

He should have dropped his mood then, watching the way you got down to grants level to take his hand in yours exchanging a greeting that rivaled the one he had with his Aunt Tasha. You had taken a few minutes to get to know the boy before you, displaying just as much enthusiasm as his son did while he told you all about the arena they had out back. 

They had all been surprised when Grant all but pulled you along through the house, not even waiting for his dad or his uncles as he bolted with you out the back door to the gated arena.  

“She’s good with our boy Barnes, look at him he’s absolutely smitten.” Sam chuckled watching you help Grant get the rope over his head like Bucky had shown him just yesterday. Bucky grunted under his breath but continued to watch, hearing your quiet words of encouragement to the boy. The five of you watched the boy twirl the rope a few more times before he attempted the throw, Grants shoulders falling when the rope didn’t quite reach where he had hoped.  

The broad-shouldered brunette is all but ready to jump over the fence and get to his boy, but Steve’s hands clap his shoulder keeping him in place. He turns to glare at his best friend but Steve is redirecting his attention back to the arena. You’ve got both of Grant's hands in yours dipping your head even lower to meet his downtrodden gaze, he can’t quite make out what you’re saying but you’re surprising all of them when you get the rope in your hands. Grant seems to chirp up and this time Bucky can hear you holding his so to a promise not to laugh. 

The way you get the rope over your head says you’ve done this before, but he can see the way you hold back. Grants cheering you on like you did him, and when he shouts for you to throw, well Bucky’s never seen a more half-ass throw than the one you produced. He watches with amusement in his eyes as his son freezes mid jump small hands smacking over his mouth as he stifles his giggles. You put on quite the act for his boy Bucky will give you that Grant absolutely taken with you as he comforts you like you did to him. 

“Looks like I’ve got some more work to do to get on your level bud.” 

“My daddy can teach you! My daddy’s great at helping me, he’s got me to where I am now right dad?” 

All eyes having seemingly fallen on him, “come on dad come show y/n! Please!” Bucky really wishes he could’ve learned how to say no to his sons requests at times but he knows that’s not the case when he finds himself begrudgingly climbing the fence stomping his feet over to where the two of you stand. 

Grant can hardly contain his excitement, “you’ll get it this time y/n, dads the best there is!” 

 Bucky pulls his sour mood out of his ass for his son, though you’ve done nothing wrong for him to be so stoic with you his walls are just much to high for anyone to get in. You take it in stride allowing him to guide you, engaging with Grant when he jumps in to add something his father has taught him. 

Bucky knows this isn’t your first time holding a rope he can feel it, can see it in your movements. Though you continue to act like you haven’t, asking questions here and there not only to him but his son as well. When’s he’s got you swinging the rope he points out to the exact same spot he did to Grant yesterday, the same one he tried to aim for today.  

It's quiet except for the whoosh of the rope above your head, Bucky sees the moment you start to falter the rope, but when his sons hopeful voice flits up into the air he feels you lock it in, your aim precise as the rope goes flying. When it hits the marker Bucky knows this isn’t your first time, but he doesn’t mention it, instead watches Grant run at your legs his cheers filling your ears, and though you’ve just met his son you get your arms around him the best that you can. 

“Did it for both of us bud, say you wanna give it another try now that your dad’s here?” 

“You’ll watch me?” Grant asks, and Bucky watches you drop to his level, “Of course, I'll be right here.” You inch over to let Bucky level himself with his son, Natasha, Sam and Steve having entered the arena to join them, Natasha is at your side, Steve and Sam rallying around Grant as they help Bucky with his boy. 

The five of you watch the boy swing the rope eyes on the prize as determination sets in. Time slows when Grant releases the rope, all eyes on the twine sailing in the wind, it thuds, picking up dirt around it. Grants aim? Spot on. The small, gated arena explodes in cheers as the five of you get to your feet cheering Grant on. 

“Did you see it! Did you see it! I did it! I did it!” 

There’s a chorus of agreement all around as you continue to cheer the boy on, his excitement contagious as Bucky hoists him high. “Think that deserves some riding time.” Bucky exclaims. The light in his boy’s eyes is worth it all, “can y/n ride with us?” All eyes fall to her, even Bucky’s, his features soften, his son had warmed up to you instantly, and his son was a great judge of character so maybe he could too. “Would you like to join us?” he finds himself asking. 

“Of course, if it’s no trouble to you.” 

Bucky nod’s, “you ever ride before y/n?” Sam questions from next to Steve. “I’ve ridden a few times, wouldn’t say I’m as professional as Roger’s but I’m fairly decent.” 

“Can I ride with y/n?” Grant questions wiggling in his fathers hold 

Bucky meets your gaze for a brief second before your finding his son’s gaze again, “Only if it’s okay with your dad.” 

He knows everyone's looking at him now, “you hold tight to those reigns, and no horseplaying Grant.” He says setting his son down. 

“Yes sir I promise!” Bucky watches his son grab your hand again all but pulling you out of the arena and towards the barn. 

Steve, Sam, and Natasha gather around their friend as they look after the two of you, “so what do you think Barnes,” the redhead questions with a grin, “how’s she doing so far, you think she’s qualified enough to care for our Grant?” 

He grunts under his breath, “she’s alright, don’t know about qualified just yet, it's only been an hour.” 

“Good thing we have some time.” she responds with a laugh moving forward to make her way towards the barn. 

“She’s a really great person buck, Natasha wouldn’t have brought her along otherwise” Steve adds. 

“Yeah man,” Sam agrees, “and she’s great with kids too Cass and Aj love her, always asking Sarah and I about her.” 

Bucky hums in thought as the three of them walk into the barn, Natasha on one horse, you and Grant on another, the boy secure in your hold as you maneuver the horse forward. 

“Y/n and I are gonna go get a head start with Lil man, try not to be a couple of rotten eggs.” Natasha grins, Grant giggling at his aunts words. 

“I’ll make sure to be very careful with him Bucky,” you say meeting his eyes. 

And you were, Grant was your focus as you rode along open land of the farm, your arms tucked protectively around the boy careful with him like you had promised. Bucky had never seen his boy so happy, well that was a lie, he had seen that glee before, had seen it with Natasha, Steve, Sam, had seen it every day that he got to spend with his boy.  

“You feeling alright Barnes?” 

Bucky looks over his shoulder watching Natasha saddle up to him with chestnut, he reaches out to run his fingers along the horses. 

“Just thinkin is all.” he replies looking back out to the vast field where you follow after Steve, Grant’s laughter filling the air as you give his uncle chase. 

“She’s good with him,” Natasha notes watching the same scene with him, “she is,” he agrees. “But -” 

Bucky sighs, “I’m scared I'm doing wrong by him Nat, this is the first year that he won’t be out there on the road with me, what if something happens and I’m not there, what if needs me and I’m not there.” 

Natasha reaches out squeezing his shoulder, “Bucky you and I both know you could never do wrong by that sweet boy out there, you’ve given him everything you could give and more. You’re that whole boy’s world, he loves you. I know you’re scared to be away from him for so long, but I know y/n would make sure that it wasn’t like you were away at all.” 

He looks over at his friend, “how can you know that?” Natasha’s looking over at you, you’re smiling the brightest she thinks she’s ever seen you smile since you returned home, hearing your laugh ring in the air for the first time in years and knowing its genuine. “Because she’s going to love that boy as if he was her own.” 

Bucky’s looking back out to the field, “If she’s willing to start a week before we leave, the job’s hers, if she wants it.” 

Natasha is grinning bringing herself and chestnut closer, “you won’t regret this Barnes.” 

He hopes he wouldn’t. 

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes au

[benkyoutobentou]

Beginner Manga Recommendations for Japanese Learners

It's time, you've done your due diligence in studying. Now it's time to jump into native material. But where to start? Here are a few manga series that I've read that I think would be a reasonable place for a Japanese learner to start their immersion journey.

Disclaimer: I haven't read every series, and the manga that's interesting to me might not be interesting to you. We also all encounter different words as we go along our language learning journeys. A series that I find relatively easy might have you looking up every other word. The trick is to not get discouraged and just keep on pushing through! As with everything, it gets easier the more you practice.

消えた初恋 - アルコ＆ひねくれ渡: This BL series follows a group of four friends and their experiences with love in high school (it also has a drama adaptation that I highly recommend! Available to watch for free on Viki). This series is so silly and just a fun time. The art has great visual gags and it's definitely a series where you can sit down and not even realize that suddenly you've gone through an entire volume and why didn't you buy more of this series to start with? It has furigana on everything, but the characters do speak pretty casually, so there's some slang and less standard language. This series is completed with nine volumes.

佐々木と宮野 - 春園ショウ: This is another sweet BL about Miyano, a high school first year, who catches the eye of an upperclassman, Sasaki. After asking to borrow Miyano's book, the two bond over a shared enjoyment of BL manga. The vocabulary is pretty simple in this one as well, but it does use quite a bit of otaku slang, which can be difficult if you've never encountered it before. It has furigana on everything, though! This series is ongoing with nine volumes and also has a spin off series titled 平野と鍵浦 which is also ongoing with four volumes.

月刊少女野崎くん - 椿いづみ: The first manga I ever read in Japanese! This series follows a high schooler, Sakura, as she confesses to her crush and classmate, Nozaki. However, Nozaki thinks that Sakura is just a fan of his shoujo manga series, and recruits her to be his assistant. This series is so enjoyably silly with a wonderful cast of characters that absolutely steal the show. There's a bit of vocabulary specific to the process of making manga, but it isn't too overwhelming. There's also plenty of casual speech and some great moments that can't quite come out in translation (bonus fact: I actually wrote a paper on this series and how humor is translated in one of my university linguistics class). It also has furigana on everything. It's ongoing with fifteen volumes.

加瀬さんシリーズ - 高嶋ひろみ: This adorable little GL series follows two high school aged girls, popular and athletic Kase and the shy gardener Yamada, as their relationship develops over their high school years. The vocabulary in this one is relatively simple with the exception of some more specific words, but those tend to pop up time and time again. This one doesn't have furigana but I think it's a great introduction to readying manga without furigana! This series is completed with five volumes, but there's an ongoing sequel series called　山田と加瀬さん that currently has three volumes released.

ささやくように恋を唄う - 竹嶋えく: This is a music based GL series about a high school first year, Kino, who tells an upperclassman, Nagi, that she loves her music. Nagi, however, misunderstands this as Kino confessing her love for her. The story follows both the relationship between Kino and Nagi as well as the trials and tribulations of Nagi's band. This is another one without furigana, but the vocabulary tends to be simple enough that I think it's still pretty accessible. It's ongoing with eight current volumes.

かけた月とドーナッツ - 雨水汐: Our last GL, this follows two coworkers, Uno and Satou, and their blossoming relationship in a society that pushes conformity and marriage on women. I really loved the way this series depicted coming into one's sexuality as an adult. Another one without furigana, but simple vocabulary regardless. A possible difficulty with this one might be the office vocabulary, though. This series is completed with four volumes.

#on one hand i feel like gls tend to be easier than bls but on the other hand i dont think i have any gls with furigana whereas i do with bl #things to think about things to think about....... #disclaimer i have not read any of hirano and kagiura #benkyou posting #langblr #language learning #studyblr #polyglot #japanese #日本語 #manga #studyinspo #studying #languages #i think im actually feeling the urge to jump back in to sasamiya...... #but no... i shant. #not until the new year #i have too much to finish before then

[alrightieaphroditie]

deeper | j.m  series masterlist! | next chapter!

pairing *:·ﾟjoel miller x female!reader wc *:·ﾟ4.1k an *:·ﾟthis is quite literally two times as long as the first part... oops? lmao i really enjoyed writing this so i hope that everyone enjoys reading it! i have two more parts planned after this, maybe some little drabbles in between or something too? but the series WILL get smuttier as it progresses so i promise you that :) this isn't edited much so if you catch something i didn't... please help ya girl out. hope you enjoy! comments and reblogs are hella welcome

synopsis *:·ﾟthe night has finally arrived: joel and ellie are visiting for dinner. afterwards, you learn more about just who joel miller really is. 

to say you were nervous about having joel and ellie over was a complete and total understatement. 

sure, you've had ellie over at your house before. she practically visits almost every day, sometimes staying for ten minutes, sometimes a few hours. it wasn't really her you were worried about, though, if you were being truthful. it was joel coming over that made you anxious. your fears were confirmed when you talked to him last night: you had a small, itsy-bitsy crush on the older man. 

it's not that there was anything wrong with that, either. but you were a child when the outbreak happened, and then you lived most of your life secluded from others. you simply haven't ever had the chance to crush on someone. not that there was ever really anyone worthy of crushing on until now, but that's beside the point. maybe this wasn't even a crush. maybe you just...liked joel? like as a friend?

no. it was a positively, absolutely a crush. 

it was this revelation that had you cleaning your house for most of the day. it wasn't even dirty to begin with. you simply just couldn't sit around, waiting for the moment that ellie and joel appeared on your doorstep. so, you dusted as much as you could, swept up the main areas of your house, and straightened up the small collection of clutter that you had accumulated within the months of being there. 

as the afternoon started to dip into the early evening, you began to prepare the food. you weren't the best cook, truthfully, so you decided to stick with what you did know. which is why you were going to be serving breakfast for dinner. you felt a little silly, but you figured this was better than serving burnt meat or something. besides, ellie had mentioned to you the other day that she had never tried pancakes before, and you had just so happened to trade a few of your blankets for a batch of mix that one of your neighbors had made.

you had just finished plating the last of the bacon you had cooked when you heard heavy footsteps on your porch, accompanied by a sharp, quick knock on the door. wiping your hands on your dishrag, you took a deep breath before making your way to the front entry way. despite your nerves, the smile on your face was genuine, as was the cheer in your voice as you greeted your two guests with a "hi!" 

ellie grinned up at you, her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail and wearing an oversized flannel that you wondered if it belonged to joel. she gave you a small hug before tilting her head back, sniffing the air. "oh man, it smells amazing in here. what is that?" she asked, leaving the entry way, and rushing into the kitchen without a response. you laughed after her before turning to face joel. 

he stood right in front of you, almost awkwardly. he was holding a giant sack in one hand, and your head tilted in question. "oh, uh," he cleared his throat, motioning to the sack. "ellie mentioned you had a fireplace but hated gathering the wood, so i uh, i brought you some. as a thank you." 

"that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, joel. thank you!" did his cheeks flush? certainly not. right? "you can leave it on the porch if you want. i can carry it in later." he nodded in agreement, setting the bag on the ground as you stepped to the side to let him in. 

“i hope you’re alright with breakfast for dinner,” you started, shutting the door behind joel, and leading him to your kitchen. “i found some pancake mix and wanted to surprise ellie.” your back was to him, but you could hear the stutter in his footsteps. turning back around, you saw him standing still, his eyes cinched at the corners. “is that okay, joel?” 

hearing his name must have snapped him out of his trance, as his dark eyes blinked, and his head shook slightly. “yeah, ‘s fine.” his voice was rough, like he forced the words out of his throat. his hand clenched into a fist, the broken face of his watch catching a ray of light. then his hand relaxed, and he started to close the gap between the two of you. 

“are you sure? because i can try to whip something else up if you- “ 

“said it was fine, hon. i mean it.” his hand brushed against yours briefly as he passed, making his way into the kitchen with ellie. one step forward, two steps back, you thought sadly as you took a breath before walking into the kitchen. 

"are these what i think they are?" the excitement in ellie's voice was notable, which put a smile on your face. ellie was curiously lifting the edge of one pancake on the platter until joel walked to her side, smacking her hand softly to make her let go, murmuring something about having manners that you could just barely hear. 

you handed ellie the platter and then turned her around, guiding her to your small dining table by her shoulders. "they are indeed, ellie bellie. i don't have any syrup, though, which is technically what you're supposed to put on top of them. i do have a few different types of jelly we could use, which is still just as good." 

ellie set the platter of food on the table, and the two of you went back and forth from the kitchen to the dining room, carrying plates of scrambled eggs, sausage patties and bacon, some toast, and a small collection of fruit that had started to grow again with the changing season. 

joel watched the two of you as he leaned against the counter, seemingly taking in the domesticity of it all. you bumped your hip against his on your way back in, motioning for him to follow you to the fridge. "here, old man. think you can carry these jars to the table, or do you need some help?" you teased, handing him a few different jars of jelly. 

he shook his head at you. "i see the kid's shitty sense of humor is rubbin' off on ya," he said, but he let you fill his hands with the goods. 

"hey! i heard that, jerk." ellie shouted from the dining room, causing the two of you to chuckle. you grabbed the pitcher of orange juice you had made earlier, as well as one full of water, and carried those to the table behind joel.

you both organized your goods on the table before taking a seat at the table. you and joel were facing each other, and ellie was off to the side. she was already holding her utensils in both hands, bouncing them off the table as she eagerly took in the spread of food. "can we?" she asked, not even taking her eyes off the pancake stack. 

"go for it, kid," you laughed, pouring out the drinks for everyone. joel watched ellie load her plate with a little of everything, and then he waited for you to do the same before he took his turn. you noticed he steered clear from the pancakes, which upset you, but you tried not to let it show. honestly you were just thankful that they had come over. small victories, you guess. 

ellie slathered up her pancakes with a little of each of the jelly spreads you had, and then practically shoved a whole pancake in her mouth. "oh my god," the words were muffled by the food. joel chewed on a piece of bacon, his eyes narrowing at the girl as she continued to boast about how good the food was, with her mouth full. 

"jesus, ellie. what have we talked about? have some manners, please." he asked, his voice a little stern as he handed ellie part of his napkin. you watched the interaction with a small grin on your face. they may not have been biologically related, but joel was every bit a father towards the girl and seeing his care for her in person made your stomach flutter. 

"sorry 'bout that," joel muttered your way, motioning to ellie with his fork. "we're workin' on it." ellie gave you a sheepish look before continuing to eat like she hadn't in days. which you knew was far from the truth, considering you had had her over for lunch just the other day. 

"it's okay. i remember how i was when i first came into the community, too. i'm glad she's enjoying it." you caught the questioning look in joel's eyes, as if he was curious to hear more. it definitely wasn't something you wanted to discuss in front of ellie, though. you knew she had been through a lot, probably more than you had if you were being honest, but you imagined that she was tired of hearing about all the bad in the world. you wanted to help show her, and joel, the good. because lord, did they look like they needed it. 

the conversation flowed easily after that. joel and ellie told you all about life in a qz, which was something you had managed to escape, as you and your family hid away in a secret bunker for the beginning of the outbreak. ellie told you about the school there and how much she hated it, how she would sneak out with a friend of hers sometimes and explore. this seemed to be news to joel, as he stared at her intently while she confessed these secrets. 

you learned how ellie loved to draw, and when you asked her if she would draw some art for your living room she practically shot out of her seat in excitement. you learned how joel used to play the guitar and how he wanted to be a singer before the outbreak, something ellie lovingly poked fun at. you could see it, though. he definitely had the voice for singing, a rich, thick, deep sound that you imagine could've sold millions. 

you practically begged him to teach you how to play the guitar, but he made no promises. ellie let it slip about the time that she found your hidden romance novels in a box in a closet, which had caused you to choke on your orange juice. she quickly steered the conversation to her comic books, though, and you blessed the kid’s short attention span. 

when the food had been demolished (mostly by ellie) you all gathered up the dirty dishes and lugged them back into the kitchen. as you gathered the cups from the table and walked into the kitchen, you saw joel standing at your sink, already washing off the plates. "oh, joel, you don't have to do that. i can do them later," you offered, balancing your cups on the counter near the sink. 

"'s not a problem, really. you cooked, i can clean." his voice was final, as was the firm glance he gave your way as you tried to sneak the sponge away from him. you held your hands up in surrender, laughing quietly as you made your way to the living room where ellie was. she was spread out across the couch, hands rested on her stomach with her eyes closed. 

her chest was rising and falling steadily, and so you poked her foot slightly, waiting a couple moments before doing it again. she didn't even flinch, so you quietly walked back into your kitchen, where joel was drying his hands off with a rag. "well, i'm like seventy percent sure the kid is asleep." 

"only seventy?" he asked, giving you a quirked eyebrow. you watched him fold up your dishrag and put it on the counter, and for some reason you were so enthralled with the gentleness of how he did it. how could anyone in this town be afraid of this man, how could they cross the street to the other sidewalk when he was passing by, when he was in your kitchen, washing your dishes and folding your rags? 

you cleared your throat. "yeah, only seventy. there's a slight chance she's faking it and trying to scare me, but the joke's on her. i'm not going to check on her again." you held your head up high, proud that you could have potentially caught on to one of ellie's pranks (though you would later realize she was, indeed, asleep, and in some turnabout way ellie still won because now she had you paranoid.) 

joel's lips curved, and you heard him mumble "oh, ellie," quite fondly. you both leaned back against your respective counters, and you were scrambling for something to say when joel beat you to it. "do you uh..." he coughed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "would you wanna go sit on the porch, maybe? give the kid some space?" 

you had to stop yourself from squealing. here you were trying to think of ways to get joel to stay and he volunteered the perfect option himself. you found yourself shaking your head enthusiastically. "yeah! i can make us some drinks if you want?" he nodded in agreement, thanking you quietly before sneaking out to the porch. 

you gave yourself a moment to freak out before getting joel a glass of whiskey and yourself a glass of water. you snagged a blanket off of a chair and quietly shut the door behind you. joel was getting comfortable on the loveseat bench you had near the door, and you handed off his glass before settling down yourself, pulling the blanket around your legs. 

it was that time of year in wyoming where the mornings and evenings were still chilly from winter and more than not, you'd still need to bundle up, but the sun was blazing for the majority of the day. outside the sun was beginning to set, the sky a kaleidoscope of pink and orange and blue hues. the crickets were chirping again, and in the distance you could hear the soft tunes of music coming from the tipsy bison. 

joel turned towards you, motioning his glass of whiskey to you, offering you the first sip. you were never one to drink - you never got accustomed to the strong taste - but you didn’t want to turn joel down, so you accepted it with a grin, your fingers brushing against his softly. your face was already warm when you brought the cup to your mouth, taking a small sip that resulted in you coughing. 

“not a fan?” joel asked, a small smile on his face as he took the glass back from you. amusement sparkled in his brown eyes, and even if it was from your hiccup, you were happy that he was finally warming up to you. 

“not at all. my parents were big drinkers growin’ up so i kinda tried to avoid all of it. it’s not a very welcoming taste,” you laughed at yourself, wiping the edge of your mouth with the blanket. joel was still grinning at you, and he motioned the glass towards you again. 

“tastes better the second time,” he said casually, that sparkle still in his eyes. you narrowed your own eyes at him, a hint of a smile on your lips. “are you lying to me, joel miller?” 

“maybe, maybe not. one way to find out.” he shrugged his shoulders, angling the glass towards you even more. 

and you knew he was lying. you knew it and he knew it, but you wanted to see if it would make him smile again, maybe even laugh. so, you grabbed the cup, took in a deep breath, and took another sip. you wish you could say that you drank it with dignity, maybe just a small cough, but unfortunately that was not the case. the taste was so repulsive in your throat that it made you gag slightly, tears forming in the corners of your eyes, and god you were so embarrassed but - 

a deep chuckle sounded from the man next to you, the corners of his eyes creasing as his mouth spread into a grin. he placed his hand against his chest as he laughed, probably thinking you were a bit too much of an idiot to fall for his teasing. but to you? it was worth it. you wanted to be the cause of that sound forever. 

“that was mean, miller.” you laughed, taking a sip of the water that you had brought out with you. 

“i know, i’m sorry hun. couldn’t help myself,” his voice was teasing, his eyes shining in the pink and orange glow slowly fading from the skyline. you pulled your blanket around you tighter, trying to fight back the blush that always seemed to encompass your cheeks when you were around joel. “so… romance books, huh?” 

“oh, shush. they’re a guilty pleasure of mine, okay?” you confessed, your eyes rolling as you laughed. you had thought he might have missed ellie's comment about them earlier, but apparently not.  maybe it was the whiskey you sipped earlier, or maybe it was simply joel’s comforting presence, but you continued. “it’s kind of silly, but i’ve never been in love before. and i’ve always wondered what it would be like. to just… have someone by your side, fighting for you. those books are as close as i can get.” 

you watched his grin fade slowly and a distant look passed through his dark eyes. “‘m sure the books exaggerate the feeling quite a bit, though.” his voice was rough, and he rubbed his hand across his jaw almost absentmindedly. his gaze was on the bench of the seat between the two of you, where your toes were peeking out from underneath the blanket. 

“well, duh. they are fictional, joel.” you poked his arm that had moved to rest on the back of the bench, subsequently resting behind your shoulders. “but i think the authors had to pull from some real-life emotions, though, right?” 

“touché,” his shoulder shrugged as he responded, his mouth tilting up at the side. he let his hand fall from his jaw, his arm spreading across his legs as his hand reached to play with the tassels on the edge of your blanket. your heart raced.

“have you ever been in love?” your voice was quiet, curious. your fingers traced the edge of your cup, and joel's eyes zeroed in on the movement. you had learned an awful lot about ellie tonight, as you had been for the last few weeks that you've known her. but you were wanting to learn more about the man sitting next to you.

he was quiet, contemplative, even. for a second you worried you pressed too far, that he wasn't even going to respond to you. you were trying to figure out a way to backpedal when he cleared his throat. “thought i was, a long time ago. it wasn’t that kind of frilly romance stuff you read about, though. it was... real. and it didn't last.” you nodded your head, taking in his information silently.

god, did you want to press on more. this man was like a vault, only offering you pieces of himself when he felt it necessary. you wanted to hoard those pieces away for yourself until you collected enough to fully know who joel miller was. you felt like this may have been a topic he wasn't fully ready to dive into yet, so you turned it back to yourself. “sometimes i worry i’ll never be able to experience it. especially with the way the world is right now.”

he took a healthy sip from his glass, and you noticed he had placed his lips where yours had been. that made you shiver, and you tucked yourself tighter with the blanket. “well, i feel like if anyone deserves to, it should be you.” he avoided your gaze with his confession, focusing on the retreating sun and the sky as it grew into a darker hue. 

you were quiet for a second, your eyes squinting slightly as you inspected joel. his dark hair was tousled perfectly, and you could see hints of grey streaking through the strands. the same went for his beard, which he had kept close to his skin. his tan skin complemented the olive-green jacket he had put on, though you knew he wore it for the function rather than the aesthetic. he had freckles on the base of his hairline, near his ear. you wonder if he knew that.

“do you think you deserve a second chance to?” your words cut through the silence, causing joel to put that dark gaze on you rather than the sky. 

“don’t know what i think i deserve. i’m not the knight in shinin' armor hero that you read about, that’s for sure.” his voice was harsh, and he shook his head slightly before downing the rest of his drink, turning his eyes back to the sunset. you felt your heart break at his words.

“joel," you started softly, placing your hand on top of his arm that was resting behind you. you tilted your head to the side slightly to catch his eye. "i don’t know what you’ve experienced or what you’ve done, but the right person wouldn’t let that come between you. you did what you thought was necessary to survive, and honestly? i can’t blame you. you still deserve good things.”

you saw his grip tighten around his empty glass, but his gaze stayed focused on yours. god, did you hope that he understood what you were saying. that it somehow broke through the walls he surely had built around his heart. you could see his head nodding minutely, like his body was able to accept your words even if his head didn't.

the screen door opened just then, tearing the attention away to ellie as she slowly tripped her way onto the porch. she was rubbing her eyes with one of her hands, and while still yawning, she asked, "can we go home, joel?" 

joel shot you an amused look, and you stifled a laugh as he stood up, rubbing his hands together slightly as the air took a sharp chill. "sure thing, kiddo." you stood up too, walking over to ellie and giving her a quick hug. she thanked you for the dinner and lazily made her way down the porch steps, still rubbing her eyes. 

you turned to joel, who was watching his girl on the sidewalk. "thank you for coming over." you nudged a rock on the porch with your foot, wrapping your arms around your middle as you looked up to him. 

"thank you for invitin' us over. we really appreciate it." 

"of course. we could make this a weekly thing, ya know. if you wanted to, that is." you were dangerously close to rambling status, wanting to give joel reasons why he should say yes, so you shut your mouth, leaving it open to him. he glanced down at you, the height difference between the two of you leaving you just at his shoulders. you liked that, for some reason. 

he waited a moment before responding. "i think we could make it work, yeah." you could see the hint of a smile crossing his lips, and you couldn't help but smile back at him, taking a step closer to wrap your arms around his side. 

he froze, and you almost pulled away with an apology on your lips before you felt him shift, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. and then, you froze under him as you felt his lips brush against your forehead. the movement was so faint you thought you imagined it, but when he whispered, "good night, hon," you could feel his breath against your skin.

and so, you whispered back, "good night, joel," and pulled away, waving your fingers slightly as he went down the steps. he caught up to ellie in no time, and you grinned as you watched him put his arm around ellie's shoulders, steering her in the right direction. 

later you would replay the nights events in your mind on a loop. you'd come up with different things you should have done or should have said. you'd wonder about joel's response to the pancakes, and whether he would ever tell you the truth behind his flinch. you hoped he would believe that he did deserve that second chance, and you prayed that he would take it with you. 

but for right now, as the crickets chirped louder than before, as the streetlights started to flicker on one by one, and as the stars began littering the sky with their glow, you were happily content with the way things went tonight. and you knew, for certain, that you were in deep with joel miller. 

tag list *:·ﾟ@yyiikes  @farintonorth @scarletsloveletter

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #joel miller the last of us #joel miller tlou #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #the last of us #tlou x reader #tlou fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #joel tlou #joel the last of us #joel x reader #the last of us fic #tlou fic #joel miller fic #joel miller imagine #joel miller one shot #ellie williams fic #ellie williams tlou

[cherry-holmes]

Glimpse of a life with Javier Peña (series)

Chapter 1

MAIN MASTERLIST

Summary: Javier Peña met you while you worked in the Embassy's Translation Department, and now he finds himself wondering why he can't stop thinking about you, even at the most inappropriate moments.

SERIES MASTERLIST Part 2

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!Reader

Word count: +3k

Warnings: SMUT. Javier has sex but not with reader. Oral sex (m receiving). Degradation kink. Cum eating. Fingering. Hair pulling. Let me know if I miss anything.

A/N: Hola! So… this is the official first chapter of the series “Glimpse of a life with Javier Peña”!! Yeeey

I hope you enjoy it. Thanks a lot for the support in the firsts works of the serie❤️ PLEASE, CHECK ON THE SERIES MASTERLIST FOR LEARN HOW TO READ IT! If you have any questions, my box is always open.

I’m also open for requests.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

He didn't used to take his reports himself to the Embassy's Translation Department, but Messina wanted to punish him for being stubborn and disobedient in the last raid, so she made him take his and Murphy's daily reports to you.

He knocked on the door, with an annoyed look on his face as he was eager to just go home, call one of his informants with the excuse of "catching up", have one or two glasses of whiskey and some cigarettes, and then kick her out of his apartment when they were done. It was a routine as much as brushing his teeth every morning. It wasn't healthy and it was miserable, but it was what it was.

"Come in," said a gentle and tired voice from behind the tallest file holder he had ever seen in his life.

He walked closer to your desk, and then he saw you: a pair of beautiful bright eyes looking up at him behind a pair of reading glasses, a blue dress that perfectly accentuated your breasts and waist effortlessly, but it also didn't reveal anything that could look purposefully vulgar. No, it wasn't your intention; you were professional.

"Umm... Hi," he said, surprised by his suddenly own nervousness towards you. That doesn't happen to him; Javier Peña never felt intimidated by any woman before. Never. But that was before you. He lifted the files in his hand, and you frowned with a cute expression. "Messina asked me to bring these to you," he explained.

"Is it late already?" you asked as you looked at your wristwatch to check the hour, but it was fine, you still had an hour and a half. You looked back at him and reached a hand to take the papers. "I usually go to collect them myself from your desks after I finish my working day... Did she need me to take them earlier?" you asked, a bit worried. You always performed your duties as well as you could, and you had never received a complaint about your working style: you took the reports from the DEA agents at night, translated them the next day, and delivered them to the Colombian Government's office by the evening, then repeated the routine.

"No, no," he was quick to say as he saw your concern, "She was actually making me do it to punish me," he explained, scratching the back of his head.

"Oh..." you exclaimed, "Well, thank you," you said as you placed the file in your pending-file organizer.

Javier couldn't help but notice the attractive woman before him, her beauty and intelligence captivating him. As he handed over the files, he couldn't resist striking up a conversation.

"You know," he began with a charming smile, "I've been around this office for quite some time, it's surprising I haven't crossed paths with you before. I thought I knew everyone here."

You smiled, appreciating his evident charm, but also aware of his reputation. "Well, I tend to keep a low profile," you replied, a hint of playfulness in your tone. "I'm not one to seek the spotlight."

He chuckled softly, his voice lowering playfully, locked onto yours. "Maybe I've just been looking in all the wrong places, then."

Your heart raced a bit as he flirted with you. You had heard about his reputation as a bit of a playboy, and as attracted as you already were to him, you knew better than to let your guard down completely.

"Well, I must say, I'm glad Messina decided to send me your way today. It's refreshing to meet someone so intriguing."

Your blush deepened as his flattery made you smile. You quickly composed yourself and replied, "Thank you, Agent Peña. I'll make sure to handle these reports promptly."

Javier assumed that you knew his name because you worked on his reports. Now he wanted to know yours. "I look forward to seeing you around more, Miss..." He paused, waiting for you to supply your name.

When you do, he repeated your name in a way you had never heard before, as it was the most precious sound he had ever heard.

"Well, it would be a shame to keep such a charming presence hidden away."

You could feel your heart flutter at his words, and you managed to reply with a playful tone, "I'll consider it, Agent Peña. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some translations to attend to."

With a final smile and a parting glance, you turned your attention back to the files, leaving Javier with a lingering sense of curiosity and attraction.

When you were sure he was far from your office, you couldn't help but smile and giggle like a teenage girl. He hadn't seen you before, but surely you had seen him. It was almost impossible not to know about Javier Peña, the DEA agent who was a complete playboy, the one almost every woman in the office talked about. You had seen him from a distance before, and you always thought he was handsome, but you never attempted to get closer to him. You never thought he would cross the threshold of your office either.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

That night, Javier called Helena and took her on his couch, as usual. She gave him everything he wanted just as she knew how he liked it. It was completely obscene, it was sinful. That was how he liked it.

Helena offered her head to please him. Moving up and down along his length, filthy noises filling his living room as he gripped her hair tightly.

Javier tried his best to concentrate on her mouth, but his mind kept drifting to you. What's even weirder was that he wasn't even thinking about you for that purpose. No, he was thinking of your blushed cheeks when he flirted with you, your shiny eyes, and that dress... How would it feel to kiss you? To touch your soft hair? How would it be to feel your skin against his, to trace every contour of your body with his lips?

Well, now he was thinking about you in that way. He couldn't help it, and it made him feel guilty, to be honest. He didn't really know you beyond your name, and thinking about you while another woman was giving him a blowjob wasn't morally right.

Helena kept doing her job, taking him deeply into her throat until her nose rubbed his pubic hair, licking his heavy balls, spitting on it, choking on it. Javier told himself that he must get you out of his mind. So he did.

Pulling her hair, he lifted her head to him so he could see the mess she did. Teary eyes looking at him full of lust and sin, saliva dripping down her chin until it landed on her bare breasts. She was a whore, he liked that. 

"En el sillón," he ordered as he stood up. Helena obeyed and climb to the couch, settling her arms on the backrest and offering her ass. He slapped her and she moan in the middle of a giggle. He passed his fingers between her soaking wet folds. "Estás muy mojadita, ¿todo eso solo por chuparme la verga?," he played.

She giggle again. Fuck, she liked him so damn much.

"Tienes una verga muy rica," she answered.

Javier grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to him as he grabbed his cock to position it on her entrance.

"I've heard about that," he groaned as he buried himself on her pussy, making her cried with pleasure.

He began to thrust into her without giving truce. His hand gripped her hair, forcing her to throw her head back so he can see her features lost in pleasure and ecstasy. Javier could feel her fluids soaking his balls as they hit on her clit so hard, making a vulgar, filthy sound that echoed through the apartment.

"Fucking whore," he groaned, making her fluid run like a river down her legs. She liked when he speaks English to her. "You liked that, whore? Mhm?," she nodded, "Respóndeme cuando te hablo, puta," he demanded.

"Si... oh, mier..., ¡Si, si, Javier!," she screamed, "¡Que rico, no pares!," she begged as her fingers clung to the chair in search of balance.

He was completely wild, lost in her. Helena didn't know exactly why; he never talked to her about his working day or his problems. But she did know that when he was that desperate, it was because a very complicated day had preceded him.

Javier was so close, he could feel it in his balls and the knot that tightened in his lower belly. He could also feel that she was about to finish too, by the way her cunt started to dripped even more and how she clenched around his cock.

He pulled out of her, pumping himself, and then pulled her by the arm to guide her off the couch.

"De rodillas," he said. She kneel in front of him and opened her mouth nice and wide for him. "Make yourself cum," he ordered her.

After a few strokes, Javier cum with a a deep growl all over her tongue. Helena pumped two of her own fingers in and out of her sensitive pussy, and used her other hand to traced circles on her swollen clit. The moment she felt his warm load on her mouth, she started to quivering with pleasure, reaching her own climax.

"Let me see," he grabbed her chin, squeezing her cheeks so she wouldn't close her mouth. "Such a nice slut," he praised. He slapped her and she smiled evilly. "Trágatelo."

She would do anything he asked of her, and Javier knew it. He wasn't proud, but he often took advantage of that for two purposes: to satisfy his most primitive desires and to fulfill the needs of his job by obtaining valuable information about the sicarios and the cartel. Helena was a prostitute, which made her perfect for the job.

The sicarios had the same needs as any other men; they enjoyed sex and didn't mind paying for it. And since nobody paid attention to the whore they hired, they could infiltrate cartel parties, listen to their conversations, and seduce them to gather information in an inconspicuous way.

That was what Helena did: she gathered information from every sicario that hired her services and handed it all over to Javier. He trusted her because she was loyal. She also trusted him; she even gave him her real name and sometimes mentioned her daughter.

Javier hated it when she did that. He didn't want to know too much about her life, but he pretended to listen anyway. She was a single mother and, of course, didn't like her job. But it paid the bills and, most importantly, it provided her daughter with food and clothes.

Javier didn't like to pay for sex. Money implied pretense, which could lead to betrayal. Prostitutes would say what you wanted to hear, do what you wanted them to do, as long as you paid, of course. You couldn't trust them blindly, but in the context of Javier's work, if not them, then who?

Moreover, he believed that there was nothing like a woman who engaged in pleasure willingly. He was a handsome man and a cop, which was incredibly enticing and attractive to every woman he encountered. He did pay for the information they provided, and when they offered their services just because they were "already there," he didn't say no. Especially Helena; she was his favorite.

After using his bathroom to clean up, Helena walked half-naked to the kitchen while Javier lounged on his couch, a cigarette in his mouth and a glass of whiskey in his hand.

"¿Qué me ofreces de tomar?" she asked, taking a clean glass from the sink.

"Whiskey o agua de la llave," he answered as he light up the cigarette.

"Agüita, pues," she replied in a lower tone. She would never admit it, not to Javier, but deep down, she always hoped he would offer her a coffee and ask her to stay. He never did, and he never would. She would say no anyway; she had to pick up her daughter from her mother's place.

Javier took a sip of his whiskey and decided to steer the conversation toward business. "By the way, Helena, I was wondering if you've heard anything new about the cartel lately? You know, anything that might be relevant for us."

She nodded and leaned against the kitchen counter. "Yeah, there's been some chatter. They seem to be making a move down in Cali, and there are rumors about a new player on the scene. They call him 'El Fantasma.'"

"El Fantasma, huh?" Javier raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. We'll have to keep an eye on that." He reached for his wallet, pulled out some bills, and handed them to her.

Helena didn't like that part of their encounters because she felt like he was paying for the sex, not for the information. She had made it clear to him that "if you were my client, you would pay me first," just to let him know that she had sex with him because she liked him. She never rejected the money, though; she had a daughter.

As Helena finished her glass of water, she began to gather her things. "Well, Javier, I should get going. I need to pick up my daughter."

He nodded, his attention briefly diverted to the TV. "Sure, Helena. Thanks for the information."

She approached him, hoping for a warm goodbye, and leaned in to kiss his cheek. "Take care, Javier. Stay safe out there."

But instead of returning her gesture, he instinctively pulled away, avoiding her kiss. It was a reflex, something he couldn't control. "Yeah, you too," he mumbled, his eyes focused on the television.

Helena felt a pang of hurt but quickly masked it with a forced smile. "Alright, then. Buenas noches, Javier."

"Buenas noches," he replied, still focused on the TV.

She turned and left his apartment, trying to shake off the feeling of rejection, knowing that she was just another transaction in his complicated world.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The Embassy's kitchen was an unexpected haven of calm amidst the chaos of daily operations. Javier, after a particularly grueling morning meeting, spotted you entering with purpose, a silent promise of coffee and respite. Perhaps it was the allure of a caffeine boost or a subconscious attraction that led him to follow you.

Unconsciously, he trailed behind, navigating the labyrinthine hallways of the office until he found himself standing next to you by the coffee machine. As he poured his own coffee, a wave of regret washed over him. He didn't want to be the type of guy who awkwardly followed someone around. Besides, how was he going to look at you after thinking about you the night before while he was involved with another woman? You deserved so much more than that.

He watched as you reached for a coffee mug, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafting through the air. Just as he was contemplating a hasty retreat, you turned, almost as if sensing his presence, and smiled at him. Javier mentally cursed himself for being so transparent.

"Morning," you greeted warmly, holding your coffee cup in your hand.

Javier cleared his throat and replied, "Morning," with a faint smile.

As you leaned against the counter while preparing your coffee, you engaged him in conversation. "So, how's it going with the reports today?"

Javier was surprised by your friendly tone and felt a bit awkward about the fact that he'd been trailing you, but he decided to go along with it. "Ah, you know, the usual. Paperwork and chasing leads. It's a never-ending cycle."

You chuckled, "Sounds like a tough gig."

"It has its moments," Javier admitted, feeling slightly more at ease. "But I can't complain."

The two of you continued chatting about work, the latest developments in the field, and more. As the conversation flowed, Javier began to appreciate your intelligence and wit. You weren't just another pretty face in the office; you had substance and depth.

"You have a curious accent," he pointed out, breaking a brief silence as you took a bite of a cookie. "Can I know where are you from?" he asked, genuinely curious.

Javier wasn't one to dig into personal information about colleagues, or in general. Not even with his partner, Steve Murphy. Let alone with any woman; he preferred to keep such matters separate.

"I'm from Mexico, actually," you answered, lifting your chin with pride in your roots. Javier was on the verge of smirking but refrained. There was something about you, the way you spoke and articulated things with your delicate hands, that had him captivated.

Javier hesitated for a moment, unaccustomed to discussing his personal life with colleagues. He thought, fuck it. "My family is also from Mexico," he admitted.

You raised your elegant eyebrows, "Well, I guess 'Javier Peña' has to come from somewhere."

His smile couldn't be contained. "My father's grandparents were from Reynosa, Tamaulipas," he explained, "and my mother's parents were from Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua."

"So your parents were born in America?" you inquired.

He nodded, "Texas. And so was I."

You opened your lips, ready to say something else, when the tall and blond figure of Murphy interrupted you. He had a file in his hand and a hurried expression. Steve looked at Javier and then at you, lifting his eyebrows when his gaze returned to Peña.

"Messina approved the raid," he said with a slight nod.

Javier straightened up, his broad shoulders becoming firm and resolute. Suddenly, he looked taller and more imposing, you thought.

"I'm gonna grab my gun, and I'll see you in the parking lot," Javier informed Murphy, who nodded and, after one last glance in your direction, turned around and left the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, I've got to..." he began, looking at you.

"It's okay," you replied, holding your coffee cup. Then, after a brief hesitation, you added, "Take care of yourself, Javier."

The sentence warmed his chest, and he felt a warmth that almost reached his cheeks. He nodded, not quite sure what to say, and then left the room.

But as he walked away, there was a moment of realization. You had extended a friendly gesture, an opportunity to get to know each other better, and he had responded with genuine interest.

Maybe, just maybe, Javier Peña wasn't that hijo de puta that everyone said he was.

NEXT CHAPTER

#pedro pascal #fanfic #narcos #pedro pascal x reader #javier pena smut #javier pena x you #javier peña #javierpeña x reader #javier peña x f!reader #javier peña x female reader #javier peña smut #javier peña fic #javier peña x reader #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena x y/n #javier pena x reader

[xomakara]

A Heavenly Night

SUMMARY |  In which Jaemin takes you out on a date. But as friends? Tired of being friend-zoned, you confess your feelings. Little did you know that he felt the same way. PAIRINGS | Jaemin/Fem!Reader GENRE |  Friends to lovers, romantic?, fluff, soft, smut, general perversion RATING |  Mature LENGTH | 4,170 words AUTHOR’S NOTE |  I said "fuck it, I'm writing a Jaemin oneshot." And here it is. I know it's not as smutty compared to the DIY series with Jeno but I hope you all enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed writing it. I need to write more soft yet smutty stories lolol.

"The boys told me that you wouldn't say no. So… Get your pretty black dress on. You're going on a date with me!"

You looked at the text message you received from your best friend of many years and grimaced. A date with him of all people.

You: You're joking right? Nana: Why would I be joking? We're going on a date. You: Seriously? Who are you and what have you done with Jaemin? Nana: I suddenly have the courage to ask you on a date and you don't want to? You: I never said that! But really, is this you? Nana: Oh c'mon Y/N. Let's just go hang out for old time sake. You: ...fine. But you better treat me to something uber fancy.

You shook your head and stared at your phone for the longest. What was up with him? Na Jaemin never, NEVER, asked you out on a date before. For as long as you have known him, he only wanted to hang out as long as your other friends were around.

You sighed and wondered what that weirdo was doing the last few months. You had been childhood friends with Jaemin for quite a long time but you both haven't seen each other lately due him being busy. You'd sometimes stop by the practice room, you being a stylist for the company, and would just hang around to watch them.

Sometimes you'd just say hi and talk to the other members of NCT.

Jaemin didn't know it, but you had fallen pretty hard for him. It was as if whenever you saw someone who looked almost like him, you'd burst into a smile and bite your lip and realize that it was just someone who looked like him. Or when he would simply text you a simple good morning greeting or ask you for some advice, you would have some stupid smile on your face. You dropped your shoulders and pouted. 

Geez, what was Na Jaemin doing to make you fall for him?

After replying that he better treat you to a five star restaurant and some high class wine, you went into your closet and dug around in lace and frills to find a black dress. In your search, you managed to find only three in which you threw them on your bed and analyzed them.

"Ugh, what the hell was mom thinking getting me this monstrosity?" Wide-eyed, you poked at the frilly dress etched with tacky baubles and sequins. It looked like a vintage retro dress and was horribly made. "Does she think I live in the '80s or something? This is totally not a look."

Moving on to the next dress, you sighed. This dress had humiliating moments for you. Though it was a fashionable dress with its knee-length hugging skirt and a deep v-cut in front, you couldn't stop the embarrassing wardrobe malfunction that occurred when you were partying with the NCT members for Taeyong’s birthday last year. You ended up flashing your boobs to wide-eyed Kun and Jisung. You weren't going to have that happen again. "Nope. I don't want my tits being ogled by them. And since I have a feeling that he may bring some of the pervs along, I'm not going to take that chance."

You rummaged through your closet once more.

"When did I get this dress?" You blinked. No matter how many times you thought back, you didn't recall getting this dress. It was a sexy, strapless piece that laced up in the back. The skirt was rather short and looked liked it would hug all your curves but shorts would do no harm. 

"Hmm? What's this?"

A little note was attached to the dress:

'You seem a little lonely and tired lately. I'm sorry if I haven't been around lately. Hoping you wear this on our date!'

You rolled your eyes and smiled at the cheesiness of it. Your best friend was sure something. Jaemin actually got you a dress? When did he have the time to plant it in your closet? Putting away the other dresses apart from the third one, you got yourself ready. You couldn't debate if you wanted to wear lace underwear or cotton. 

Or a thong? You didn’t want your panty lines to show.

Maybe no panties would work in this case. But then, you didn’t really want to go commando.

"It's not like he'll see me in my underwear right?" You asked yourself looking in the mirror and telling yourself that even though your best friend was gorgeously hot, you'd never give him certain priorities. "Nah. It’s Jaemin, after all. There’s no way he’d try to get down my pants…well up my skirt."

Ding dong!

"Coming!" You called out as you ran to your front door. Opening it, you were met with the smiling face of NCT's Jaemin.

And his good-looking groupmates.

Like that wasn't a surprise.

"Oh!  You're wearing the dress that Johnny picked out?" Ten asked as he eyed you appreciatively. "It looks really good on you Y/N."

"So Johnny bought it instead. I should've known." You muttered as you smoothed out the little black dress. It definitely was fashionable and Johnny did have some great fashion sense. You gave a small turn and gave a wink to the others. "How do I look then?"

"You look nice!" Renjun gave you a thumbs up.

"It’s sexy." Jaehyun nodded, a grin on his mischievous face. "That's totally your style."

"Besides," You started as you eyed the massive membered group, as you lightly fingered the end of the dress. "How in the world did you stash this in my closet? I gave my spare to Jae— Was it you Jaemin?"

He shook his head fervently. "No...why would you think that?"

"Because you have my spare." You gave him a look that said 'duh you loser'. "Who else would have access to my apartment?"

"Well you see..." Renjun began, "Jeno took it from Jaemin's bag when he wasn't looking and then Mark and Johnny snuck in here."

"The hell, bro?" Mark exclaimed, an exasperated look on his face.

"And this is why I absolutely adore Renjun." You patted the man’s hair. You turned on the two men who came into your apartment and glared, Johnny letting out a small chuckle. " You saw my underwear, didn't you Johnny?!"

"Maybe just a little. You sure have lots of sexy underwear~"

"Oh? What kind?" Jaehyun raised an eyebrow. “Satin? Lace?”

"Really Jaehyun?" You turned on him before kicking his shin. You threw your hands in the air exasperated. "Ugh, who did I piss off in my past life to get this unfair treatment?"

"How Jaemin got her is still a mystery..." Ten whispered to Johnny, who in turn just nodded his head.

"He just got lucky. If she was my best friend..." Renjun mumbled, Mark elbowing him.

"Ugh." You frowned and looked at Jaemin. "Can we go now?"

Nodding his head, Jaemin led you to his car. The other NCT members took the other vehicle that was parked behind Jaemin, the others claiming that they feel more comfortable in the van (and Johnny’s driving) than in Jaemin's sports car. Getting in, you were just a bit disappointed that Jaemin didn't even compliment how you looked. You had more than a crush on him but Jaemin figured that you were just a friend and treated you like one.

Getting into the driver seat and starting the car, Jaemin reached towards the backseat and grabbed a small box, handing it to you. "A present."

"From who? Johnny didn't get it either, did he?"  You asked as you took the small box. You hopefully wished it was from him.

"Open it and you'll see." Jaemin shrugged as he sped off.

Opening it, your eyes widened. You looked at the trinket in the box to the man next to you. "You're kidding right?"

"It's from Taeyong." He muttered as he kept his eye on the road. You were a tad bit sad since it wasn't him who got it for you.

"Oh." Closing the jewelry box, you shifted in your seat and deeply inhaled. You didn't want a gift from Taeyong. You wanted it from Jaemin.

Glancing at you, he noticed that you looked quite down. "You alright? Y/N?"

"I'm fine, Jaemin."

Jaemin raised an eyebrow before looking back at the road. What is he supposed to say now? "You look..."

"Look what?"

"Nice. You look nice."

"Oh." You muttered. "Thank you."

Just nice? Was he really this blind? 

He got silent again and he was trying to rack his brain, thinking of something to say. "Originally, it was just supposed to be me and you going on this date."

Now that was a surprise. 

He usually brought along others since he never wanted to do stuff without them. "Really? Then the others...?"

"Renjun  thought it would've been cool to tag along. And then Mark-hyung got hungry and then the other hyungs all got this weird idea to drag themselves to our date." He said as he stopped at a red light, waiting for it to turn green. "But honestly, it was supposed to be me and you. No lie."

"Are you sure Na Jaemin?" You asked as you played with the box. You didn't want to put on the necklace. Sure it was a gift and it looked really nice but it wasn't from that special someone. "Normally you wouldn't ask me out anywhere. You're always complaining that if we were to go out, I'd be awkward without the guys."

"It wouldn’t be awkward." Jaemin let out a small laugh and you just wanted to strangle him for making your legs go weak from that simple gesture. “At least I wouldn’t think so.”

“Whatever Jaemin.” You rolled your eyes.

"Y/N?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you sure you’re okay?" He asked you. You were acting a little different than usual, he noticed.

"I'm fine, Jaemin." You sighed. "I should text Taeyong a thank you for the necklace."

Jaemin gave you a look and became silent. In all honesty, he actually got you the present. And the dress. He had feelings for you but he didn't know if you saw him the same way so he just faked it. 

How did you feel? 

You looked a little disappointed about it though. Don't you like it? Was it the wrong design? Did he say the wrong member? Maybe you liked one of the other members like Mark instead of Taeyong?

Pulling into an unvacated spot in open plains, Jaemin parked the car, pulled out his phone to send a group message to his members to go on ahead to the restaurant, and looked at you. "Okay what's going on?"

"Nothing, Na Jaemin."

"Okay, something is going on if you're calling me by my full name." Unfastening his seatbelt, getting out of the car and opening the passenger door, he took your hand and pulled you along with him. The night was getting a bit chilly and you were wondering why the hell he parked in some open space with no trees and stuff in sight. His hands on your shoulder, he turned you to face him. "Y/N, what's wrong? You've been like this since I got to your apartment."

You gulped and looked away from him. You took a deep breath and calmed your nerves before looking at him. 

You were going to tell him. You were going to do it.

"I need to ask you something and I want you to be totally honest with me." You said as you looked him in the eyes. Gosh this was going to be hard. "It might be awkward with us after this but I have to know how you feel."

Jaemin looked at you, uncertain what he should say. 

Did you find out that he liked you? "Uhh..."

You ignored him, looking down at the ground instead. Why did he have to make it so hard? Sure he didn't really say anything but he was just making you a ball of emotions. "I have kept this in for a long while and it's about time I was straight up and just confronted you about it. I hope this doesn't ruin the relationship we already have. I just need to know and I can't see any other way to get over this."

"Y/N..."

"It just doesn't seem fair on me if I don't get an answer. I want you to tell me truthfully, no matter what it is. I just want your honest opinion... But... Do you have feelings for me? Even if just a little?"

"Damn..." Was his only response before he closed the distance between you both and pulled you in for a hug. He squeezes you tightly, giving you only enough air to breathe. "What if I said yes? Yes, I have feelings for you. What if I said yes, I had feelings for you for the longest?"

"Oh my god." You whispered, your heart beating awfully fast. "Jaemin, I..."

"Do you have feelings for me too?" Jaemin asked, pulling back a bit to look at you. "I'm baring my soul out to you and you can't say anything? I even bought you the dress and the necklace."

He bought the dress and necklace? Your mind clouded at that thought.

And then it clicked.

Why didn't he want to hang out with you alone.

How it must’ve been awkward with his feelings for you.

"I do. I do have feelings for you Jaemin." You cried out as you took his hand in yours. "I don't know when it all started. But I feel like I'm just in a messy puddle when I think about you and everything. Like I can't even think straight."

He chuckled, seeing you flustered was adorable. "How so?"

"Like... I want you to touch me. And I want to touch you." You whispered as you looked down. "Oh my god. Did I just really say that? I sound like a sexually deprived woman."

He took your cheeks in his palms and made you face him. "Geez. You're rambling now."

"I'm sorry. I'm just so... So nervous. Gosh, you're gorgeous... WHAT AM I SAYING?"

He chuckled. "You're gorgeous too, Y/N."

"You're not nervous?" You asked as your eyes widened. "I'm just a ball of emotions when you're around and I can't seem to think straight."

Jaemin gave you a sweet smile. "I am nervous. But I love you for being you."

“Did you just say…?”

“I love you?” Jaemin asked, you nodding your head slowly. “Loud and clear.”

He snaked an arm around your waist and slowly looked you in the eyes. He gave you a sheepish smile. "At least we're confessing when the guys aren't here."

Minutes passed and he still held your waist. Looking up at him, you raised an eyebrow. "So what? We're just going to stand here?"

"What do you want me to—"

"Oh Jaemin," You muttered before grabbing his collared shirt and pulling him down for a kiss. " We do not have time for this, Na Jaemin. Just kiss me."

It took but minutes for the two of you to arrive back at your apartment and Jaemin couldn't keep his hands off you. Kicking off your heels as he kick off his shoes, you took his hand and led him to the bedroom. He followed you, squeezing your hands in his. You squeezed back, confirming that it'll be okay.

"Y/N, you sure?" His voice was soft and low, that it was just sweet music to your ears.

"I'm positive, Jaemin." You nodded as you opened the door to your bedroom and pulled him in. Facing him, you slowly wrapped your arms around his neck. "I want you, Na Jaemin. And I want you now."

"I don't know..." Jaemin whispered as he bit his bottom lip. "You are just so..."

"Nice? Beautiful?" You leaned up and kissed his cheek, trailing kisses to the corner of his mouth. "Or sexy?"

"Fucking sexy," He groaned out as he pulled you in closer and held your gaze. "You're making me go crazy, Y/N."

"Glad to hear that."

He closed the distance between you two and sensually placed a trail of kisses down your collarbone. You sucked in a breath, his fingers slowly tracing your bare legs as they moved up closer to the hem of your skirt. He moved his lips up to your neck, slowly giving your hot skin small kisses before reaching the edge of your lips. He gazed lovingly in your eyes, before slowly capturing your lips and running his hands up your legs.

"Jaemin..."

"Shh..." He whispered as he took your lips in his again. He kissed you deep and long, your mouth opened to his and he angled his lips over yours. His tongue teased yours and desire course through you and you just ached for him.

You never wanted a boy, no, a man, like this. 

In fact, you couldn't even remember not wanting, not needing, not aching like this before. You moved your hands to his shirt, undoing each button until his shirt hung open and you pushed it off his big shoulders. He unlaced your dress and slid it down your body, his lips going back to your neck and up back to your own. Clad in just your lacy underwear and he in just his pants, he gathered you close.

"Johnny was right." He stared down at you. "You do wear sexy underwear."

"I have to feel sexy when I feel adventurous like this.” You muttered.

"You'll look good in even cotton underwear." He chuckled as he fingered your panties. "But lace underwear makes you look even more sexy."

"Just shut up. We don't have time for this Jaemin..."

"We have plenty of time..."

Your arms slid around his neck and his naked chest pressed against yours. He ran his hands up and down your body, stopping only to peel the backless adhesive bra from your breasts and fling it somewhere around the room. The chill air hit your nipples, which hardened in an instant before Jaemin pulled you closer, skin touching skin.

"Oh my god." You moaned aloud as heat gathered in your womb and moisture dampened in between your legs. "Jaemin..."

"Y/N." He groaned your name out, as he slid your panties down your legs and proceeded to take his pants and boxers off as well.

You wanted more from him. You enjoyed that he was lovingly placing kisses over your neck, face, and lips. But you wanted more. 

You felt his arousal lay erect against your tummy and you slipped a hand between the space between your bodies to wrap it around his length. He groaned against your mouth and you stroked him, loving the sexy guttural noises he made.

He pulled you tighter against him and suddenly lifted you up where you wrapped your legs around his waist. Your most intimate place pressed against his toned stomach and suddenly throbbed. You felt his length, hot and hard, resting beneath your ass. 

You threw your head back as he rained kisses on your neck. He took a step back and you both tumbled on the bed, your legs fell opened and he laid between them, cupping your breasts.

His tongue toyed with your nipples and you moaned and gripped his shoulders. Your fingers dug into his flesh and faint mewling sounds came from the back of your throat. "Oh my god, Jaemin..."

"Shh... Entrust your body to me."

He shifted to lay beside you, wrapping one arm around you. His free hand explored your body, caressed each curve. You traced the valleys of his chest, his stomach, his fingers. His fingers traveled lower, his fingers tracing circles on your tummy. He hooked one of your legs over his, spreading them open for him, one finger sliding lower, caressing you, before sliding it into you. The pressure of his finger increased before adding another finger into you, your hips rolled into rhythm with his touch.

"Jaemin, I need you so much..." You whimpered, his fingers working wonders on you. Without warning, he withdrew his fingers and settled himself between your legs. "I need you to fuck me now Jaemin."

"Fuck, baby." Jaemin groaned. He leaned down to capture your mouth.

"Fuck me, Jaemin," You cupped his cheek. "I want this. I want us. Let's become one."

With a small nod, you felt his cock, hard and hot, nudge into you. Slowly he slid into you, filling you, completing you, and you knew how big he was and how full you felt when he made that one last push into you.

"You okay, baby?"

You nodded your head. "Fuck you’re big Jaemin."

"You feel so good, baby." He pulled back, his tip almost out before easing into you again, letting you get used to him. His strokes were slow, measured, and you felt every inch of him within you. You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him closer, deeper, your body throbbing around him, his length pulsing within you. 

"Fuck…" He breathlessly moaned out as he moved. He filled you, sank into your body, sheathed himself in your heat. He increased the motion of his hips as he continued to move. You arched upward with loud moans. 

Stunning pleasures built inside you, passion gaining intensely as Jaemin continued to thrust, harder, deeper, faster, skin slapping on skin. The sweat covered your bodies, making him even more turned on. 

He moved faster, harder. You rocked your hips against his, both your movements growing faster, frantic. He thrust into you again and again and you meet his passion with your own. His need with yours. Faster and harder and hotter you both moved in a rhythm naturally.

"Jaemin... I can't hold on any longer."

"Me too... Let me—"

"No." You tightened against him before he pulled out. "Just come in me, Jaemin. Let's feel good together."

He just groaned in approval and you wondered if the intensity of pleasure tightening within you would destroy you and you didn't care. 

You wanted more, ached for more.

He pumped harder, hitting that one spot you craved until you cried out in mere pleasure.

And then release claimed you, shattered you.

"Ah!" You cried out, your body arched upward, and your body shuddered against his as waves of pleasure racked your body again and again. "Fuck, Jaemin!"

Jaemin thrust hard once more and his muscles tensed against you, releasing himself into you. He groaned and his body shook for a moment or forever.

Until he stilled and you clung to him.

For a long time, neither of you moved and you enjoyed him still buried within you. 

Still one with you.

For an eternity you laid together. Jaemin struggled to catch his breath. At last he withdrew and rolled to the side, pulling you close.

"Oh, fuck…" you murmured against him. "Jaemin... You..."

"Good?" He closed his eyes and sleepily opened them to look at you.

You let out a sigh. "Really, really good."

"Ha-ha," he chuckled as he cupped your cheek. "I just never imagined our first kiss would lead to our first night together."

"Even if we didn’t fuck and just went out on this date like you planned, how was it?"

"It's perfect." He smiled at you, as both your foreheads touched. "You are... I have never felt this way before... For anyone else but you."

"I love you, you know that?" You whispered.

"I love you too."

"What do we tell the others?"  You suddenly asked as his phone started to ring.

"That you fell sick and I took care of you?" He suggested, raising an eyebrow.

"Like that will fool them. Mark is too smart for that." You playfully slapped his chest. "Probably figured out that we finally caved in to our feelings. He probably knows we fucked."

"That’s all true though. At least I don’t have to worry about sharing you with anyone." Jaemin rubbed your back as he rummaged for the covers and pulled them up over your naked bodies. "Let me just close my eyes and listen to your breathing and have you run your fingers through my hair."

"Tell me that you love me again, Jaemin."

"As long as you tell me that you love me."

"I love you, Na Jaemin."

"And I love you, Y/N."

He slipped his hand between your legs, his fingers sliding over you. You shuddered and rocked against his hand, slick with desire.

He placed his hands on your waist and drew you closer to straddle his legs.

"Jaemin," you said in a weak voice. It was more of a moan than a word.

"I know you want me again." He suggestively muttered. You giggled and burrowed your head in the crook of his neck as he hugged you closer and entered you.

Your mornings with Jaemin would be tiring and your days would be memorable. 

But your nights with Jaemin would simply be heaven.

#nct #nct stories #nct fanfic #nct imagines #nct dream #nct jaemin #na jaemin #jaemin #jaemin smut #jaemin x reader

[melanieph321]

Okay hear me out: what about ruben’s girlfriend losing her memory temporarily, and ruben literally leaves everything to take care of her. He asks some time away from football to help her on her recovery journey, and he would make her one of his usual breakfasts, full of nutrients and he would help her exercice slowly and would help her remember little things at a time, and he would just do everything for her well being 🥺

THIS IS THE ONE, MY 100TH RUBEN FIC! 🥳🥳❤️❤️❤️🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳❤️🥳❤️🥳❤️🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Love the many requests I've received, I have stories for days now 😅. But in honor of my 100th Ruben Dias fic I have written a 8 part series based on this request. Hope you enjoy!

Ruben Dias x Reader - Remember You and Me Part 1/8

Enjoy!

You slowly opened your eyes, groggily taking in your surroundings. You were in a hospital room, surrounded by your family and a man you had never seen before. The man, who you assumed was a nurse, was holding your hand and smiling at you.

"Hello, honey. Welcome back" your mother said warmly.

"What's going on." You grunted. The pain hit you all at once as you tried to sit up.

"What hurts the most?" Your mother was quick to pat you down, not wanting you to over extend yourself.

"My neck." You said and reached up to touch the brace that covered your throat.

"The doctors say you have to wear it for a couple of weeks. You were in a terrible car accident that almost left you paralyzied head down."

"What?" You tried to sit up again but squirmed as the pain hit.

"Careful." Said the male nurse, still holding your hand in his. "I know this isn't easy for you to hear Y/N," He said. "but the truth is that you've been in a coma for the last four days. You've had multiple injuries on your spine, ribs and if it wasn't for the doctors deciding to put you in a sedative state your brain would still be swelling."

Your brain swelled with all the information you were given. "I want to go home." You said. You hated the smell of hospitals and always have.

"I know honey, I know." Your mom stroked your head. "But I'm afraid it won't be that easy."

"Why not?" You looked around the room, meeting the faces of your family. They all carried the same expression of sadness and concern for you.

"What's going on?" You said through the tubes plugged in your nose.

"Honey..." Your mother tried to break it to you easily. "You don't live with us anymore, you haven't done so in the past five years."

"Um, what?"

"Honey, what is your last memory? How old do you think you are?"

"Mom what are you...I'm nineteen years old and I live with you, dad and Eddie. Why are you asking me these stupid questions? Why am I in the hospital, what happened to me?"

You were getting quite worked up, however your mother was patient. "Y/N, the doctors suspect a temporary memory loss as a result of your severe head trauma. You are not nineteen years old but twenty four years old. And you don't live with your father and I, you live in England with your husband, Ruben."

Your mother pointed to the nurse standing next to your bed, his hand still intertwined with yours.

"My what?" Your eyes widened in confusion. Husband? You had no memory of getting married. In fact, you had no memory of anything that had happened since you were a teenager. "What do you mean?" You asked, voice shaking. "I don't remember getting married."

The nurse smile faltered for a moment, but then he took a deep breath and explained. "You were in a terrible car accident a few days ago. And in a coma ever since this morning, when you finally woke up, not remembering anything. We've been trying to help you remember, but it's been a slow process."

Your mind was reeling. You had no memory of your childhood, your friends, your job, or anything else. It was as if your entire life had been erased.

"Mommy." You cried, letting go of the nurse/your husband's hand. "I want to go home, take me home right now."

"I know sweetie, I know." She brought you in for a hug, a tight and safe mommy hug. "The doctors say that your memory loss is only temporary, that it will come to you naturally as you go on with your daily life."

"Okay, so I'm free to leave the hospital then?"

"Yes, the sooner the better. However you have to leave with Ruben not us."

"What? I can't go live with him, he's a stranger I don't even know him."

The man's eyes widened in suprise, his expression unreadable.

"Yes, you do honey." Your mother was determined. "Ruben is your husband and you must stay with him. We will be here through your recovery, every step of the way. But for your memory to return to you naturally you must go back to living your old life, the life you spent together with Ruben, your husband."

#fanfiction #football imagine #ruben dias #man city #manchester city #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias imagine #footballer imagine #footballer x reader #football angst

[writeforfandoms]

Waking Lions 19

Find the series masterlist

I am so sorry this is late, life has been lifing me real good recently. I'm hoping things calm down a bit now and I can get back on a more consistent schedule again. Especially this close to the end of the story.

You and Gray have a little talk. This is not going to end well for you.

Warnings: Gray is Unhinged (and not in a fun way), sadistic character, sadism, lowkey psychological torment, spy shit, swearing, hopelessness.

Word count: 1.4k

All the air had left the world. Your eyes started to burn as you stared at Gray, brain working incredibly slowly. You breathed in, everything snapping into hyperfocus.

Gray. Gray was here. He’d found you. He’d found you alone.

You were dead. 

“Ace, now, is it?” he asked, conversational, as if you were old friends. He stepped up next to you, motioning you to walk a certain direction. He didn’t have a weapon in his hands, but you knew him too well.

He either had a gun on him, or he had someone watching from a discreet distance, ready to shoot you. 

You were so fucked. 

He paused when you failed to move, raising one eyebrow at you. Slowly. Letting you feel the weight of his judgment. 

"Are you really going to push me to use force?" He kept his voice low, still falsely pleasant. 

You eyed him. You had no idea how serious he was. You couldn't read him, fear clogging your brain, tinting your vision. So you took a step, a little slow, a little shaky. But you moved. 

And he smiled. 

"You gave me quite the hard time," he continued, matching your pace. "Finding you was more difficult than I had guessed." 

You swallowed hard, hand sliding into your pocket. Thank fuck your phone was on the opposite side from Gray. It took a moment of cautious fiddling, but you got it recording. Just in case. 

"I am impressed you have managed this long," he continued, still cool as anything. "I would have expected you to get yourself killed much sooner than this. But then, you did have help." 

You swallowed again. No. He wanted to make you scared, make you suffer. You needed to take some control back. Even if only a sliver. 

"What do you want?" You managed to keep your voice almost entirely even, only a slight waver at the end giving you away. But Gray already knew what kind of terror he instilled in you. 

He chuckled, turning the two of you down a different street. "Well, you've made yourself a bit of an obstacle again. You've done good work, I've heard all about you from a… mutual friend." He glanced at you, smirking, just to see that barb land. "But unfortunately, you also tried to get me locked away for life. I can't just let something so personal slide, you understand?" 

Oh you understood. You understood all too well. He had held a grudge all these years, and spotted the perfect opportunity to take you out and decided to take it. But if he was going after you…

"You've wanted me dead for longer than that," you managed, eyeing him. He still looked too pleased, too confident. It made you want to knock him down a peg or twenty. 

"Oh, that?" He chuckled, as if it were silly. As if trying to kill you as a child had been nothing. "Well, that was business, wasn't it? I was after your father's business, you were incidental." He paused, watching with barely concealed glee as you struggled to hold down your rage. "Until Laswell took you in." 

Horror washed cold down your spine, smothering your anger in an instant. Laswell. If he held a grudge against you, he certainly held one against Laswell. And she was here, she didn't know he was here. 

If only you had a way to tell her, to warn her. To keep her safe, the way she'd kept you safe years ago. 

Almost as quickly as the horror, a kernel of relief settled in your heart. She was surrounded by the 141, and the others. She was safe.

Much safer than you, at any rate. 

"Oh don't worry," Gray soothed mockingly, cruel glee lighting his eyes when you glanced at him. "I haven't forgotten about her! In fact, I have something special planned for her as well." 

You swallowed. He sounded too gleeful about that. You had always remembered him as being cruel and cold, but this? This was a level of cruelty you hadn't seen before. He was unhinged, deranged. Enjoying your fear. Enjoying taunting you. This was somehow worse than you had imagined. This wasn't just killing you, this was torturing you first and enjoying every moment of it.

You didn't remember this from your childhood memories. 

"So, where are we going?" You knew you wouldn't get a proper answer, but it was the first thing that popped into your mind that wasn't panic or protective screaming for him to leave Kate alone. Your fingers twitched against your phone. Oh, Kate. 

He smiled, amused and condescending, and stopped next to a car. A plain black sedan. You could have snorted at it, in other circumstances. For now, you just stopped a couple steps away. A bodyguard stepped out of the driver's seat, walking slowly around the car. Giving you a good look at the glint of a gun under his jacket. 

You could have laughed, if you weren't so scared. This felt like old time mob shit. Your life had turned into a movie. 

"You'll find out, soon enough," Gray said as the guard opened the door. He slid into the car, sinuous and easy, those cold eyes locked on you with glee.

You had no real choice here. If you tried to run, you'd be shot. If you got in the car, you were just as dead. It would just take longer. 

Gray knew it too. He was enjoying this, enjoying watching you struggle. 

But if you got in the car, there was a chance. A very slim chance, but still a chance. 

"You know they'll find me, right?" You asked, voice deceptively mild as you shifted your weight. Biding your time. Trying to draw out any further information for the recording. 

"Who, your new friends? Task Force 141?" Gray laughed, soft and cruel. Your heart jolted at the realization that he knew exactly who he was dealing with. The guard shifted, taking a half step forward, though he did not reach for you. "Oh yes. I know all about your new friends. SAS. You got your fingers into some very interesting pies." Gray smiled, cruel, dark. You could all but see the blood in his teeth from tearing people apart. 

You shivered. Just once. But that was enough - he latched on to that moment of weakness. 

"There are only the four of them," Gray continued, almost gently mocking. "What are four men to me? Four more lives? Bah. Nothing." He leaned forward, closer to you, lowering his voice to a menacing murmur. "Their lives are worth nothing to me, except the suffering their deaths may bring you." He paused a moment, purely for effect. "If you live that long." 

Rage and horror warred in your veins, running cold, keeping you rooted to your spot. You needed to keep him away from John. Away from Kate. Away from the others. 

"So. They can try," Gray finished, showing far too many teeth in his smile. "They can try."

You swallowed. He was very confident in all of this. Of course he was, he'd had years to plan out his revenge. Nobody even knew you were missing. They would have no real clues to go off of, no way to find you. 

And he knew too much. About the 141. About Kate. 

About you. 

You were going to die. 

Shivering now, you ended the recording and finally stepped towards the car. The guard moved away from the door, apparently content to let you get in and close the door yourself. 

Which worked well for you. As soon as he was around the car, you got in. And dropped your phone in the grass next to the car. 

The door shut between you and the outside world, muffling the noises of the city. Muffling everything. The air was thick in the car, tense. 

The engine turned on, rumbling quietly. You looked out the window as the car started to move and risked one last look at your phone, sitting in the grass. 

They wouldn't find you. They probably wouldn't even find your phone. 

You were alone. 

Maybe it was better this way, if you could keep Gray away from them. 

Swallowing hard, you set your trembling hands in your lap and looked out the window, silence thick as a blanket settling over the car. 

You should have told John how you felt about him. 

You wouldn't have the chance, now.

#waking lions #john price x reader #john price x you #f!reader

[wasawattpadkid]

Housewife

Part - 18

Summery: Billy and Stu have been planning these murders for quite some time. Everything is going to plan until you show up. What happens when they meet someone who is just as mentally deluded as they are?

Pairing: Poly! ghostface x fem!reader

Warnings for this series: ⚠️ graphic ⚠️murder, blood, smut (will be more in depth on smut chapters), power dynamics, a dash of sexism, knives, stalking, perverse behavior, cheating, assault (not in detail), underage drinking,

Part 1

"Shit!" You cursed as Stu helped you out of the car. Billy turned towards you shutting his door with a slam. "What happened?" Both boys looked at you concern lacing their features. "I didn't make dinner tonight." You could live without cooking dinner. Some nights when you were alone you'd just snack around not in the mood to start cooking anything. You had got into a routine of cooking for them though. Making sure they ate a good meal was commonplace. Stu had noticed you hadn't cooked but it didn't bother him. Parties always had snacks, at least they did when he threw them.

"You don't need to cook dinner every night," Billy reassured you. He loved your cooking but one night without it wouldn't kill anybody.

Stu threw his arm over your shoulder. "Yeah, plus I'll tell you what, tomorrow when we're hungover we can go on a little grocery shopping date!" Stu pulled you close to him poking your sides. You laughed still feeling a little bad. Billy looked at the ground. Going out in public grocery shopping like some nuclear family didn't sound like a good idea.

"Let's go assholes." Billy put on a fake smile looking at you and Stu. You nodded running up to grab Billy's hand. Like clockwork, his eyes darted around the makeshift parking lot for anyone staring. He shook your hand away. "Sorry." He said looking towards the ground. "It's okay." You whispered. Stu held your hand giving you what Billy couldn't. It wasn't done to upset Billy, part of him knew that. Stu loved to show you off. You always did look amazing hanging on his arm. Billy wasn't able to do that, carry you around like some trophy. Physical affection was always going to be a behind-closed-doors activity.

You could hear the music before you even walked into the house. Stu hit the doorbell more times than he should've. "I'll get it!" Chase called before he pulled open the door. Billy watched Chase knowing you would attract attention with the way you were dressed up. The blonde-headed boy looked Billy up and down from head to toe. Even with a mask, Stu knew that look anywhere. You looked at Stu making sure your friend saw the same thing you were.

"You guys look awesome!" Chase finally looked over at you and Stu after he gave the compliment. "You're a maid?" He asked making Stu giggle. "She's Magenta from Rocky Horror I'm surprised you haven't seen it." Stu said making you nudge his shoulder. "Your costume is cool. You're..." The sentence trailed off while you tried to figure out who he was. Chase was covered in leather and buckles. That outfit paired with his blonde hair left you with no idea of who he was supposed to be.

"I'm Michael Jackson." He said proceeding to do some dance moves. "Looks, great man. You've got the skin tone for it." Stu patted Chase's shoulder before walking into the house. You sent him a sympathetic glance trying to hold back a laugh. "Thanks for inviting us." Chase smiled at you. "Of course. Beers are in the kitchen." He told you making Stu's face light up. All three of you wandered around finding the nearest couch to sit on. "I'm going to get some beers you want any?" You shook your head while Billy nodded wanting one. "I'll be right back," Stu said dramatically before disappearing into a different part of the house.

"You having fun yet?" Billy leaned down so you could hear him. "We just got here give it a chance, please." You wanted this to work. Maybe have a non-criminal memory with your lovers. "Fine but if they keep playing this shit I might kill someone." New Kids On The Block was not on Billy's playlist. You looked around the room trying to find where the music was coming from. Sure enough, Linda was messing with the sound system. "Linda's playing music."

Billy leaned his head back regretting his decisions. You took a moment to watch the girls in the corner point and giggle at Billy. He was attracting more attention than you were. "I think you confused Chase earlier." You joked. Billy sat up turning his body to face you. "It's the face paint isn't it?" It wasn't just the face paint it was the whole ensemble. "Maybe. It might also be the pants." You moved in closer letting your lips rest near his ear. "Your ass looks great in them by the way." He shuffled uncomfortably in his seat trying to think of anything horrible to keep himself calm. "Don't." He simply spoke, fearful of what people would think.

You huffed out a breath giving up on the man beside you. It was hard trying to make Billy comfortable. He was one of the most stubborn people you'd ever met. Getting him to let loose was a full-time job one that you weren't good at. Stu came back with two beers and another bottle of alcohol. "One beer for you and a fruity drink for the lady." He handed you the colorful bottle and then passed the brown glass over to Billy. "It's Mad Dog," Stu explained as you read the label on the bottle. "Are you trying to kill her?" Billy asked seeing the familiar bottle. "She'll be fine she's a big girl,"

"I know you don't drink but I didn't want you to feel left out." Stu sat down next to you laying his arm across the back of the couch. "Thanks." You sent him a soft smile. Stu lifted his mask to kiss you but you backed away. "Not here." You didn't mean to be rude but for weeks you've been keeping up the narrative that all three of you are just friends. His lips tightened into a straight line. "Right." And just like that you acted as Billy did a moment ago.

You unscrewed the cap on your bottle taking a decent swig of it. Both men watched waiting to see your reaction. Your nose crinkled with disgust. "Honestly it's not that bad." They both laughed at your words. "Tell that to your face." Stu drank his beer wondering how the night would go.

He thought this was a good idea. Drunk kids with loud music was the perfect place for all three of you to go crazy. It's not like anyone would remember it tomorrow. Even if they did so what? It wasn't illegal to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. Well maybe having a boyfriend was illegal in some places but luckily he lived in California.

Teenagers continued filing into the house. By 9:30 it was almost too full to breathe. "That's it somebody has to dance with me." Stu stood up as some loud grunge song played through the speakers. "I'm guessing by somebody you mean me?" You asked the boy in the Michael Myers costume. "Well, I'm not asking him that's for sure." Stu pointed at Billy who flipped him off. You took another gulp of your half empty bottle feeling a lot more comfortable than when you first showed up. "Alright but don't expect anything fancy." Billy was aggravated by the fact you'd just get up and leave him. Considering the only reason he came along was for you and Stu.

The only good thing about sitting on the smoke-smelling couch was he had a perfect view of Stu and you both. It was comical. Billy found himself laughing as the two of you jumped up and down yelling lyrics at each other. Never in a million years did he think he'd see his partners dance and sing to the spice girls. It was almost 11 and neither of you had stopped dancing. You pointed over to Billy seeing him laugh at the scene you and Stu were causing. Even though he wouldn't participate it was still fun seeing he wasn't so miserable now.

Some songs were riskier than others. Billy watched you sway to the music as Stu held you as close as he could. Your hips shuffled rubbing up against your boyfriend. Billy wanted to blame it on the alcohol. Throughout your time at the party, he continuously reminded you to slow down. It just so happened you were as stubborn as he was.

You fell on the couch practically sitting on top of Billy. Stu continued to dance and bother other kids around him. "You okay?" He asked trying to scoot you off of him. "My arms are numb." Your body was warmer than it normally was. "I told you not to drink so much." Your legs were spread giving anyone in front of you a free show. "Jesus fucking..." Billy leaned forward pulling your knees together, pointing them towards him.

"Where's my dance partner?" Stu's mask had disappeared now showing off his hair wet from sweat. "I'm right here I just needed to sit for a second." Billy stood up grabbing Stu's arm. "I told you not to let her drink so much." The short-haired boy looked over to you and then back at Billy. "She's fine! I can drink like two of those things."

Billy smacked his arm scolding his friend for his stupidity. "She hasn't eaten anything all day dipshit." Stu's lips formed an 'o' in realization. You slowly picked yourself off the couch. Sitting down was a bad idea. You were fine a second ago but now your choices hit you like a brick. "I've got to pee." You announced rather loudly. Stu grinned at you. "Bad idea. Once you break the seal you'll be pissing all night." Billy pinched the bridge of his nose. "If you need to use the bathroom-" Chase was dancing with his girlfriend when Billy saw him cutting his sentence short.

"Chase! Where's your bathroom?" After a few directions, Billy made note of the location. "You come with me and Stu go get some water." So much for no touching. Billy wrapped one arm around your waist helping you walk through the house. "I can walk you know?" You traced the duct tape on his arm as you spoke.

"Okay." His hand slipped away from your waist letting you lean against the wall. "Go ahead, walk." You carefully pushed yourself up straight just to slowly stumble once again hitting the wall. "Help..." You giggled. Billy although aggravated thought it was funny. He was sure he'd find it hilarious the next morning. "Oh, but you can walk." He mocked you before wrapping his arm around you once more. "Smartass." You smiled as you both walked to the restroom. Thankfully there wasn't a line, letting you go right in. "I can do this part by myself." Billy chuckled awkwardly. "I would hope so. I'll be out here alright?" You nodded as you shut the door.

"Are you in line?" A woman asked catching his attention. "Hmm? Oh, no I'm just waiting on my- I'm waiting on someone." He corrected himself moving away from the girl. She smiled stepping in front of him. Billy walked away from the bathroom making sure it stayed in his line of sight.

You finished your business feeling worse as you stood up. A small giggle left your lips while you struggled to pull up your underwear. The warm joyful feeling coursing through your veins was addicting. You didn't understand why Billy was so pessimistic. Water splashed in the sink as you washed your hands. Once your hands were dry you slowly opened the bathroom door. A woman quickly ran into the room shutting and locking the door behind her. Billy wasn't where you left him.

"Nice costume." A man remarked making you turn around a little too fast. "Woah there." He held out his hands stopping you from hitting the floor. "Hey, you're that chick that was in the massacre." You looked up at the familiar costume. The black robe and white mask was this year's hottest outfit. "That's me. Have you seen Billy?" The masked man helped you lean on the wall making sure his body covered your own. "They said you were almost gutted. You must have a badass scar." He ignored your question as he looked down at you with pity. Your arms felt like jelly as they pushed up against him. "Excuse me."

You were polite but you didn't understand why. His hands grabbed the hem of your dress dragging it up your leg. "I'm okay." You said quickly trying to move his hand. "I just want to see your scar." That warm fuzzy feeling you had earlier changed within seconds. You were terrified but unable to defend yourself. Your brain screamed for your body to move, to do anything but you stood there. "Where's Stu? Billy?" You asked again desperate for the man to stop.

Through glazed eyes you watched your attacker hit the ground. The cursing and screaming were garbled in your ears. There was blood, so much blood. Stu came running to your side pulling you into a hug. "Beat his fucking ass, Billy! Kill him!" Stu egged him on loving the blatant display of violence. Billy continued to lay into the man beneath him. He couldn't stop. "That's enough dude." Chase tried to pull Billy off but he just got hit in the process. "I'm calling the cops!" He shouted making underage drunk kids all flock to the exit. Stu laughed while you stared shocked at Billy. There wasn't anything behind his eyes but rage. You were going to be sick.

"Don't you ever fucking touch her again!" He screamed feeling the cartilage crack beneath his fists. Stu's encouraging shouting made your head spin. "The fucking cops are here!" Someone yelled as more people ran around to flee. You didn't move. Your fingers dug into Stu's arm scared he might leave you. "Billy, man get up." Stu tried to stop the fight but it did nothing.

The deputy knew the three of you were up to no good. He knew deep down something was going to happen. Dewey's jeep was parked just a block away from where the party was. It was unethical to follow you but it was his job as a deputy to protect the town of Woodsboro. The moment he heard and saw the kids running and screaming he jumped out of his car.

Any bypasser would've laughed at the limping cop. Dewey with his gun drawn tried his best to run into the party. "Freeze!" The man said pointing the gun directly at Billy's back. "Get off of him and put your hands where I can see them." Stu rolled his eyes at the goofy cop. "Put the gun away Dewey and help me."

Billy continued to hit the boy even after he stopped fighting back. With the help of the officer Stu pulled his friend off of the boy. "I'll fucking kill him!" He shouted. You slid down to the floor shaking from shock. "It's just some girl." Someone in the fading crowd said bewildered by the show. "That's my fucking girlfriend asshole I can knock your fucking teeth out too you bitch!" Stu kept a good hold on Billy. He thanked God that he was stronger than the enraged man. Dewey radioed an ambulance letting the incoming units know about the current situation. Your attacker was breathing just unconscious by the looks of him. The deputy pulled the handcuffs from his belt locking Billy's wrists together behind his back.

He pulled both Billy and Stu aside making Billy drop to his knees. "Neither of you move you understand me?" Both men nodded. Dewey walked over to you seeing how broken you looked. Your dress was hiked up and your makeup was smeared. Dewey pulled his jacket off carefully draping it over your frame. "It's okay." He reassured.

Your arms wrapped around him thankful he showed up. It was then you started crying. Sobbing was a better word. The fear you bottled up just minutes ago came out in the loud sobs.

More officers arrived putting Billy in the back of a police car. Stu begged them not to while Billy yelled for you. He needed to make sure you were okay. Dewey stayed by your side even after you threw up on his shoes. His hand rubbed circles on your back as you gagged over the grass on the front lawn. Chase and Linda were giving statements more scared of Chase's parents than jail.

"Are you alright?" Stu asked only getting stopped by the deputy. "She's fine." He said as you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. "Stu?" You looked up seeing the worry on his face. The boy wrapped you in a hug disregarding Dewey. "I called for you and Billy, I- I told him I was alright. I didn't want this to happen." Your words were slurred with alcohol and panic. "How much did she drink?" Dewey asked as Stu patted your head. "Not enough to forget this shit." He joked earning silence from the officer. "Tough crowd," he spoke. "She had a bottle of Mad Dog that was it." Dewey pulled his hat off running his hand through his hair. "I haven't really drank before I'm sorry..." You started crying again, the alcohol making the cries extra whiney.

"Riley!" One of the cops yelled. "Just take care of her. Can you do that?" The sarcasm was heavy in Dewey's words. "Yes, I can do that." Stu mocked back like a child. Dewey limped over to the ambulance seeing the bloody kid was now awake. "His nose is completely shattered. That Loomis kid fucked his face up." The deputy rubbed his face. "Alright get his statement the best you can and take him to the hospital."

"I just want to go home." The boy said trying to fight off the EMTs. "What's your name son?" The kid seemed to think about it for a second. "Daniel Lawson." The other officer wrote down his last name on his notepad.

"Listen, Daniel, you've been drinking illegally and if what I know checks out then you also assaulted a young woman. Things are not looking good for you. Also, your face is really bad you should definitely get it checked out." Dewey's bad cop act could only last for so long.

The ambulance eventually rolled away heading to the nearest hospital. "I love you. I really do and I'm sorry for ruining everyone's night. I just wanted to be normal," You continued to cry and ramble into Stu's chest. "Y/n sweetheart?" Dewey said your name making you look up with puffy eyes. "I'm going to need to talk to Stu here for a moment alone. There's a really nice female officer over there that would love to talk to you." You wiped your tears understanding this was a serious situation. Dewey grabbed your hand helping you up from where you and Stu sat. The female cop walked over helping you walk to her car.

"Don't tell me I'm getting arrested 'cause I didn't do anything wrong," Stu spoke as Dewey took a seat next to him. "You're not being arrested. I just need you to tell me what the hell happened tonight."

Dewey wrote down details of Stu's story. "I didn't see that happen I just saw Billy run towards the guy. That's when Y/n grabbed me. She was terrified, man." Dewey shook his head. "Of who? The attacker or her boyfriend?" Stu didn't like the deputy's question. Billy could be and was violent, so was Stu to a degree. It was his idea to slit Casey from groin to sternum. He thought those past experiences made him qualified to determine who was right and who was wrong. "Boyfriend? And Billy beat the shit out of a rapist that's more than you assholes do every day." Stu snapped defending his friend.

"I understand you're upset." It was a sentence constantly taught to the officers to de-escalate a situation. "No, you don't! My best friend is being hauled off to jail while my other friend is crying because some shit stain thought he could do whatever he wanted to. Billy's not the bad guy. I would've killed him."

It was true. Stu hoped that the rage he saw in Billy that night would've gotten that kid's head ripped off. It's what he deserved in Stu's mind.

"Why do you two care about her so much?" Dewey's notepad closed. He was done with the professional questioning. Now he wanted answers to his own selfish questions. Stu was caught off guard by it. It didn't have an easy answer and if it did it wasn't one Stu could come up with. "She's all that I have left." Dewey knew that pain all too well. "You weren't the only one who lost someone you know? You treat me and Billy like villains but you didn't have to see what we did. Billy watched his girlfriend get slaughtered in front of him, you don't think that fucks a man up?"

Dewey emotionally backed off. This was probably the first time anyone cared about what Stu had to say on the matter. "My parents came home the day after I was almost killed just to bitch at me for throwing a party. "Stuart you're smarter than this," "This is what you get Stuart when you break the rules." They don't give a shit about me I've known it my whole life. My friends were the only people that cared and most of them are gone. So I'm sorry for clinging to the two people I have left."

Stu broke down as he ranted. He started to realize how fucked everything had become. How did he miss the friends he wanted to kill? He hated his life. He hated the way things were going and now he was crying to some cop about how he missed it all.

Dewey patted Stu on the back. "I'm sorry." He said. The apology meant a lot to Stu even though Dewey did nothing wrong. "I'm sorry too. I know you miss Tatum." Her name hadn't got any easier to hear. Dewey had said her name over and over again at his house hoping she'd eventually hear him. She'd run down from her room bitching about her brother disturbing her. What he would give to have her upset at him again. Anything was better than this.

"You boys need therapy," Dewey said making Stu laugh through the tears. "Says you." He responded picking at the knees of his coveralls. "I'm being serious. You two and Y/n have been through a lot you said it yourself. Someone to talk to wouldn't be such a bad thing."

Stu shook his head. He couldn't talk to a shrink because he was a murderer. Everybody knows confidentiality doesn't exist. "What's going to happen with Billy?" Dewey scratched the back of his neck. "Oh, he'll probably be released in a couple of hours once we get the story straightened out. Since Y/n was being assaulted Billy acted in good faith by stopping him." Relief washed over the boy. "What about Y/n?"

That was a trickier question one that was really up to you. "She's 18 so if she doesn't want to press charges she doesn't have to. If she does then we'll eventually go to court." Stu wanted to protect you. He hated himself for letting this happen but court wasn't a good idea. Justice would have to be served some other way.

"Hmm." Stu hummed in thought. "Hey, you said earlier that Billy was her boyfriend. What'd you mean by that?" Through all the commotion Stu hadn't listened to Billy's second outburst. "Loomis shouted it when we were trying to pull him away." Stu nodded trying to remember what exactly was said. "You didn't know?" Dewey asked seeing the sad look on Stu's face. "No, I knew. It just happened a couple of days ago. I'm just worried about how people are going to treat them." Stu looked at you shivering underneath Dewey's jacket. "Why don't I take you two home it's getting late."

"What about Billy?" Stu asked once again worried for his lover. "When we get ready to release him we'll call his dad." Stu started to shake his head. "No! He's 18 you can't call his dad. Call me I'll go get him if I have to bail him out I will." Dewey's face screwed up in confusion. Stu sighed trying to convince the cop otherwise. "His dad is a drunk if you call him you'll have more than one problem. Please just don't call him." Stu's pleas were genuine. After everything the last thing Billy needed was his dad screaming at him.

"I'll call Y/n's house when I know something but I can't promise you Mr. Loomis won't find out eventually." Stu stood up thanking the deputy. Dewey struggled to stand up on his own. Without judgment, Stu stuck out his hand helping the officer up on his feet. "Thanks." Stu shrugged in response.

Dewey started up his jeep as Stu walked you to the car. "We're going to go home okay?" You held Stu's hand as you looked around. "Where's Billy?" Stu helped you into Dewey's car as he tried his best to explain without making you cry again. "He's going to be home a little later." Stu climbed in next to you shutting the car door behind him.

The drive consisted of you fighting not to fall asleep while Dewey and Stu talked. "Do you need any help getting in?" Dewey asked as the car came to a stop in front of your house. "No, we'll be fine. Thanks, Dewey."

The deputy drove off once both you and Stu were safely inside. "You left your mask." You caressed his face with your hand. "That's what you're worried about?" Stu chuckled carrying you upstairs. "You looked hot with the mask." You started to cry over the lost mask which only made Stu laugh harder. "Shh hey, please don't cry my sides are hurting." He packed you into your bedroom helping you strip off the gross clothing. You flinched once he grabbed the hem of your dress. "I'm sorry..." He whispered. You shook your head not wanting to think about it. "it's okay. Yeah, it's fine." Your sniffles broke up your words. You helped Stu take off the dress getting over the initial deja vu.

"Bath or shower?" Stu asked walking into your bathroom. Honestly, all you wanted was to go to sleep but your skin was crawling with the memory of that bastard's touch. "Bath please." It came out as a whimper while you fought off more tears. Stu's heart broke a little at the sound.

Once the bath was drawn he helped you into the tub. It was cute how he tried to avert his gaze even though he'd seen you naked many times before. "I'm going to go see if I can find some food." He started to walk away before you stopped him. "Can you stay in here with me? I don't want to be alone." It was sappy and cliche but you didn't know how else to word it. Normally Stu was the clingy one but you needing him around was nice for a change.

Stu helped you get cleaned up while both of you laughed and cried over random things. Eventually, he helped you out wrapping a towel around your frame.

"Thank you." Stu sat your toothbrush and toothpaste out on the sink smiling at your gratitude. "You're welcome, honey. Make sure to brush your teeth, your breath is lethal." He laughed making a face at you. "Your's isn't much better." You joked picking up the toothbrush.

"I'll brush my teeth downstairs if you brush yours. Deal?" You nodded. "Alright, I'll be back up here in a minute." He pressed a kiss to your forehead before he made his way down the steps. As promised he brushed his teeth even using mouthwash after the fact. Before he checked on you he raided your pantry to see if there were any snacks. Stu carried potato chips, chocolate, and a couple of drinks up to your room.

"Don't eat too fast or..." His words trailed off seeing you passed out on the bed with nothing but a towel. Quietly he sat down the snacks saving them for later. "Hey," Stu whispered trying to help you get under the covers. "I'm going to hang up your towel so you don't kill me later for your bed being wet." You mumbled a response still half asleep. The boy smiled tossing the towel over the rack. He peeled off his coveralls leaving them where they hit the floor. He kept his boxers on as he climbed into bed. You hummed scooting next to your lover. Stu pulled you in so your back was flush with his chest. With his arms wrapped securely around you, you had no issue drifting off to sleep.

While you slept Stu thought about everything that has transpired. You and Billy were officially dating now whether you liked it or not. Come Monday you two would once again be the talk of the school. Stu wondered if Billy did it on purpose. When the three of you first established this relationship Stu didn't see a problem with you and Billy being the official couple. As long as it didn't interfere with the dynamic in private he was fine. Maybe he was a little jealous. Not of Billy but of you. You were able to walk around and say Billy was yours now. Something Stu's dreamed about for years you did it in just a couple of months.

The phone rang making both of you jump at the sound. Stu rolled over picking up the audibly offensive object. "Dewey?" Stu rubbed his eyes. "Sorry Deputy Riley." You couldn't make out what Dewey was saying before you finally fell back asleep. Stu looked over at the clock the bright red numbers burned his eyes. "It's almost four in the morning." He groaned. "I know. I'll be there as soon as I can." Stu hung up the phone with a huff. This time around Stu would be the one to clean up the mess.

(if your name is has a line through it Tumblr wouldn't let me tag you)

Part 19

Taglist (closed): @katie-tibo @agustdeeyaa @bowlofceral @gonnapermashift @tati-the-fangirl @kozumewhore @tatijoestar @illyanam1011 @c4rved-pumpk1n @msghostface @gojosbucket @sammanna @lokigirlszendaya @reneki @fetusharryluvr @kadu-5607 @pumpk1n-writes @zeysartzone @life-of-music3 @flyestvenustrap @littleblondesoprano @loomiscorpse @nicciekawegosblog @reneemunson @miss-puregotti @ksgsfsgaj @zoleea-exultant @briefwinnerpersonaturtle @mistydreamscape @l4venderia @nex-crowley @ashreblogsnow @brynaa223 @your-desire666 @billyloomiswhore4 @holyladyofsorrows @megluv1 @ellieswifeiya @yoluvrz @forallthstarsinthesky @madsothree @youcantbesirius @lubunnii @captainhowdysseptum @geekygremlin @madneedshelp

#scream #billy loomis #Stu macher #ghostface #scream 1996 #ghostface x reader #scream fanfic #billy loomis x reader #billy loomis ghostface #ghostface x fem!reader #poly ghostface smut #poly!ghostface x reader #poly ghostface #poly!ghostface #billy loomis masterlist #billy x stu #billy x stu x reader #scream x reader #scream fanfiction #billy loomis fluff #billy loomis smut #billy loomis x reader smut #stu macher smut #stu macher imagine #stu macher fluff #Smut #Fluff #ghostface fanfic #Ghostface fluff #ghostface x female reader

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

01/28/2024 Daily Crew Recap

TLDR; Hoist The Ads Charity Donations; Campaign Status Updates; Hunt For the Pirate Home Watch Party; General Morale; Past Renewal Campaign Comparisons; Cast & Crew Sightings; Upcoming Events: Pets for Pirates Jan 29; Love Notes; Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika

=Hoist The Ads Updates =

Looks like the voting is done, and the results are in! @gingerlyvibing was kind enough to break down how much is going where. Just a reminder-- you all made this happen! Everything over the $10K it cost to get the billboard is going to help out these awesome charities! Links to threads: Tumblr / Twitter

Funnily enough, apparently one of the trucks still has the ads on it

== How To Help ==

How To Help Save OFMD Task List - US

How to Help Save OFMD Task List - Outside US

I'm helping some folks over on FB get similar/ the same updates right now, if anyone would like to help give me feedback I'd appreciate it, please just PM me! I have a couple ideas and I want to run them by folks.

== Status Updates ==

Good news! Wb is still having trouble recovering, as it should. Thanks @btweenhisteeth on twitter

==Petition Status==

Over 82K -- going slow, but still ticking up! Takes time all, especially since we're focused on the networks right now. Don't give up!

== Hunt For The Pirate Home Watch Party ==

Had some great turn out all over the world today for the Hunt For the Wilder People watch party. Thank you again to @dandeebakes for getting those coordinated!

Saw some great trends during it, and a lot of people having fun. If you haven't actually seen the movie, I highly recommend it, it's incredibly good!

==General Morale==

So despite things being fairly quiet today, the general vibe from folks has been that we're just in a holding pattern and we're just gonna keep clowning and polite menacing until we hear more word.

== Other Cancelled Series Comparisons ==

Something cool that I saw more of today was several groups doing comparisons with other cancelled TV Shows. Thank you to @OFMDCrew for these stats on twitter.

After they were posted, I did hear conflicting feelings on these (some felt it helped raise their mood, some felt it made it worse). So I wanted to point out a few things:

1. We've done a hell of a lot in 3 weeks (and signatures were our priority for most of the first two weeks, but once David Jenkins lit the beacon 8 days ago, we changed our focus). 2. We had a leadership change mid-all of this with Renew As A Crew. 3. Oh and there's other stuff in the world going on (Palestine) 4. As @saltpepperbeard says in their post "David only posted his "call to arms" just a little over a week ago. Eight days ago." So much has changed and we've STILL accomplished so much in that time too.

We are kicking ass, we really are, I promise you!

Across Twitter / IG / and Tumblr, several people have mentioned they feel like something's "in the air". That's totally a second hand "I have a feeling" thing but as you probably remember, quite a few of us had that as a bad feeling the morning before the show got cancelled. Now, if you're not into that kinda thing-- I would like to mention, that could just be because this crew is so fucking awesome, and that's why the vibe is so good-- because we're leaning on each other and take care of each other. Also when lovely people like @saltpepperbeard (as referenced above) write lovely responses to asks that can always help too. This post made ME feel better, I recommend giving it a read for a little perspective :)

= Cast & Crew Sightings =

1. The weekend is still pretty scarce as usual. Our pirate queen Ruibo Qian has been enjoying a lot of everyone's artwork lately. 2. Nathan Foad announced his con dates 3. Renewal Campaign Related: mostly seeing updates again from our boi Erroll Shand supporting the campaign.

== Pets For Pirates ==

Tomorrow, Jan 29, there will be a Pets for Pirates Even! Share your Pet pictures and use the hashtags:

#PetsForPirates

#AdoptOurCrew

#SaveOFMD

==Love Notes==

I know, I know "Jeez Abby, Shut Up We Already Know How Awesome We Are" Well good! Cause you should! But that won't stop me from saying so again! I'm serious when I say the vibe is so good right now in general because we have such a great crew. You all take such good care of each other and it shows every single day. You helped raise an extra $11,578 that are now going to charities that are going to help so many families, and kids, and that's just from the extra stuff from the Hoist The Ads Campaign -- not including everything else going on. I'm going to include a picture from one of my favorite people @thelatestkate because she does awesome work, and this one applies significantly to all of you. <3

Daily Darby/Tonights Taika

Tonights gifs are brought you by the wonderful @celluloidbroomcloset's Posts: Rhys / Taika

I'm literally watching Green Lanturn this moment because I needed to remember this youngin Taika, so thank you / no thank you for that, but hey I've watched worse for Rhys so I guess I can't complain.

Goodnight Lovelies <3

#ofmd daily recap #ofmd daily recaps #hoist the ads #our flag means death #ofmd #gentlebeard #renew as a crew #save ofmd #save our flag means death

[lurkingshan]

Notes on Unknown (and Da Ge)

Oh man, I love this show. They are absolutely nailing the dynamics for this trope. The bond between Qian and Yuan is palpable, and the way they interact with each other and with Lili feels very lived in. You can feel the shared history between this little family in every scene.

We got our Sam Lin cameo in episode 3, and I was so happy to see him. We also got a couple additional flashbacks to Qian's history with his mother, so CW again for child abuse this week (you should probably just assume there will be at least mentions of it in every episode of this show). I also liked getting to see some more of Qian's work story with the H.O.T. team, and how Yuan is able to help him.

A note on the adaptation: I have been reading Da Ge this week, the original Priest novel the drama is adapted from, and I'm about halfway through. The major thing to note is that the show has significantly condensed the story. The novel is chronological and their childhoods are more than half the story, but the show has changed the structure to focus on the time when they are adults and Yuan begins to pursue Qian, streamlining their pasts into a two episode backstory. They did this primarily by cutting and combining side characters, blending arcs together, and simplifying a lot of the relationships. I think it's quite well done, and it has affirmed for me that the creators of this show know the story they want to tell. They are making use of the rich material in the novel with some smart changes to make it all work as a 12 episode series.

Notable changes so far from the source material:

They have softened Qian's characterization quite a bit. He's much harsher and more tsundere with his siblings in the novel. There are aspects of his roughness in the show, but it feels gentler.

The whole sequence in episode one where Yuan is kidnapped, Qian fights to get him back, and they have that touching brotherly love moment is original to the show. "If I lose you, I would have nothing left" is the kind of nakedly emotional sentiment you would never hear from the Qian in the novel (though we have enough hints about how he thinks to know he does in fact feel that way). The show adapted a plot that was much more cerebral (in Priest's usual fashion) to give us this more romantic take. They're using some shorthand here to make sure we understand how deep the love between them already runs, and I think it's very effective.

Qian's abuse at the hands of his mother, and the trauma it causes for him, is much more present in the show. I haven't gotten to the adult years yet in the novel, so maybe it will ramp up then, but he doesn't think about her nearly this much throughout his childhood.

In the novel Lili's paternal grandmother is part of the family unit, Qian and San Pang have another friend in the building named Ma Zi, and there are multiple gangster types that Qian gets involved with. The show cut grandma and Ma Zi entirely and blended all these gangsters into one, which I think was the right call.

#unknown the series #da ge #priest #taiwanese bl #shan shouts into the void