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yournameoneverypage · 3 years

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When You're Ready

Reader request: Shawn Mendes x (y/n). "Shawn is on tour and invites the reader to the show so he can ask her to be his girlfriend and he sings When You're Ready, but Camila shows up and the reader is convinced that it's for C and not for her."

Word Count: ~3.7

Notes: Mostly fluff with brief moments of angst, and a smut ending.

Warnings: NSFW

~ * ~

(Y/n) stood at baggage claim at LAX, waiting for her blush-colored suitcase to roll by on the carousel. She was going to be in California for almost a week. Why? Well, her best friend was Shawn Mendes and he was currently on tour. He was missing her something fierce, he had said, and he wanted her to come see him.

Shawn had two sold out shows, consecutive nights, at the Staples Center followed by a show in San Francisco three days later, so why not make a week of it? His idea, but the second he mentioned it she was on board. She’d figure it out, find a way to make it work.

Any time she got to spend with him was both treasured and torturous. But she would go through the pain and heartache over and over again if it meant nearly a week with her most favorite person.

See, the thing was, (y/n) had been in love with Shawn for nearly as long as she had known him.

~ * ~

After retrieving her bag, (y/n) went in search of her driver. Shawn had said he or she would be holding a sign with her name on it. Shawn had a few interviews to do that morning, so (y/n) would be taken to his hotel to wait for him to finish, and then they’d have the entire afternoon and evening to spend together.

Aside from the aforementioned interviews, this was a day off for Shawn and he wanted to make the most of it because the Staples Center shows were the following two nights, and there wouldn’t be much down time during the days with soundchecks, meet and greets, and Q&As before showtime. Fortunately they would have more time to spend together between LA and San Francisco.

(Y/n) located her driver, who smiled brightly and introduced himself as John. He took her bag and engaged her in friendly chatter as he led her toward an idling Range Rover.

Who left a vehicle like this idling curbside at the airport?

John opened the rear passenger door for her with a knowing grin. (Y/n) started to climb in before she even noticed him.

“Shawn!” She almost tipped over into his lap reaching across the seat to hug him.

“Surprise, babe!” he chuckled into her ear.

“You’re here!”

“I’m sorry I didn’t collect you myself, but as much as I love my fans, I didn’t want to get stuck here for a half an hour taking selfies.”

“I thought you were in interviews all morning.”

“I was. I was hoping to come with John to pick you up, but I honestly didn’t know how long all the interviews were going to take so I didn’t want you to be disappointed if I said I would be here but then wasn’t.”

He was always so thoughtful; it was one of the many, many things (y/n) loved about him. She linked her hand with his between them, squeezed, and smiled. “I missed you.”

With a grin, he leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Missed you, too. So much. I’m so happy you’re here,” he breathed.

~ * ~

The day flew by way too quickly.

Once Shawn got (y/n) checked in and settled at the hotel, in a room that adjoined his, they grabbed lunch at one of Shawn’s favorite places.

It was (y/n)’s first ever visit to Los Angeles. Shawn had asked her if there were any specific things that were on her must do/see list, and he’d take care of everything.

They visited the Griffith Observatory, and strolled down the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

(Y/n) thought, and Shawn agreed, that too much attention might be drawn to them if he was spotted along Venice Beach or the Santa Monica Pier, as he had already been approached a few times during their activities earlier in the day. (Y/n) had been understanding and supportive of him spending a few minutes chatting with his fans and taking photos. She actually took a few of the photos herself.

Another day, he promised.

Instead, they spent a good part of the late afternoon and early evening at the Getty Center Museum.

They had dinner in Little Tokyo, followed by drinks at a tiki bar. Only one for (y/n) because she was a lightweight and tiki drinks were known to be quite strong. Shawn stopped after two, as he had a full day the next day and didn’t want to risk waking up with a hangover.

Back at the hotel, freshly showered, in pajamas, and in Shawn’s room, stretched out on his king-sized bed, Shawn and (y/n) ordered something from room service to share.

Even though they had chosen a movie to watch, they were too busy talking and laughing to pay much attention to the television.

~ * ~

Staples Center, Day One, had (y/n) immersed in the thick of things with Shawn, his band, and his crew. She knew only a few of them and was introduced to many more. Her laminated pass was the same as what everyone else had, giving her access to anything and anywhere she wished.

She soaked up as much as possible.

Shawn didn’t always attend soundcheck with his band, but for (y/n) he definitely wanted to be there so she could fully experience it. She stayed backstage, chatting with Shawn’s people while he did his meet and greet photos. She sat in on his Q&A session but stayed unobtrusively toward the back of the room. She could talk to him whenever she wanted; this was his fans’ time with him.

The concert was unbelievable, as (y/n) knew it would be. Shawn always left his heart and gratitude on stage.

That night they were in (y/n)’s room, she on one of the doubles, Shawn in the other. He was still a little high on adrenaline, asking her how she enjoyed the day, and especially how she enjoyed the show.

She knew it wouldn’t be long before he completely crashed out. When he did, he was still in her room.

~ * ~

Staples Center, Day Two, was much the same, although they started the day with Shawn dragging (y/n) to the gym to work out with him. They also skipped soundcheck to get lost together in the backstage corridors.

The closer it came to showtime, the more anxious Shawn seemed to get. He had a different vibe about him than he had the night before.

While eating dinner, (y/n) asked him if everything was alright. He assured her everything was amazing; it just felt like something big was about to happen and he hoped it would turn out to be a good kind of big.

~ * ~

Again, the show was absolutely incredible, although after the song he normally ended with, before acknowledging his band and going into the encore, he tried to quiet the deafening audience with a finger pressed against his lips.

Of course, it was futile. He just laughed, somewhat nervously, and said, “This song is for someone very special to me. Someone who is here tonight. I want her to know how I feel about her...”

That seemed to get everyone’s attention.

Shawn found (y/n) in the audience, met her eyes, and smiled adoringly.

Maybe I had too many drinks But that's just what I needed I hope that you don't think that what I'm saying sounds conceited When I look across the room, and you're staring right back at me Like somebody told a joke and we're the only ones laughin'

(Y/n)’s heart started thumping. He couldn’t be singing this for her, could he...? He had never expressed any interest in her as more than a friend. Had he?

Don't know why I tried 'Cause ain't nobody like you Familiar disappointment every single time I do Every single night my arms are not around you My mind's still wrapped around you

A couple of girls beside (y/n) bent their heads together and pointed to something or someone standing to the side of the stage. Shawn seemed to notice, as she had, and looked toward the side stage.

She followed his line of vision to see Camila standing there, beaming brightly. She put her fingertips to her lips and blew him a big kiss.

(Y/n) didn’t notice, over the dizzying blood rush in her head, that Shawn seemed to stumble a little through the chorus.

Baby, tell me when you're ready I'm waitin' Baby, any time you're ready I'm waitin'

Even ten years from now If you haven't found somebody I promise, I'll be around Tell me when you're ready I'm waitin'

He glanced once more toward Camila, but just as quickly his smile settled again in (y/n)’s direction. His voice steadied and grew stronger.

What if my dad is right When he says that you're the one No, I can't even argue I won't even fight him on it Call you when it's late And I know that you're in bed 'Cause I'm three hours back Seems like you're always six ahead

(Y/n) smiled back, although it seemed more reflexive than genuine, as her heart was currently crumbling to pieces. She tried her hardest to be happy for her best friend and the woman he was currently confessing his feelings for, on stage, in front of everyone.

Don't know why I tried 'Cause ain't nobody like you Familiar disappointment every single time I do Every single night my arms are not around you My mind's still wrapped around you

Baby, tell me when you're ready I'm waitin' Baby, any time you're ready I'm waitin'

Even ten years from now If you haven't found somebody I promise, I'll be around Tell me when you're ready I'm waitin', yeah

And if I have to, I'll wait forever Say the word and I'll change my plans Yeah, you know that we fit together I know your heart like the back of my hand...

Before the song ended, overwhelmed, unable to continue her façade, (y/n) had slipped from the crowd and backstage.

She wasn’t sure where to go once she was backstage. She was fighting back tears, so her vision was blurry, but she didn’t want to stop to ask anyone how to get out of the venue because they might ask why she was crying and then it would all turn into one big mess.

A voice from behind her asked, “You’re Shawn’s friend, right? Are you looking for his dressing room?” Was she? Would she be able to face him after his encore and bows?

“Yes, please,” she found herself answering.

“End of the corridor, turn right, first door on the left.”

(Y/n) nodded her thanks and began to follow the directions she was given. She wasn’t sure if it would be the first or last place anyone would be looking for her.

~ * ~

Shawn burst into his dressing room, out of breath from the end of his show and running around looking for (y/n). Incredibly relieved to see her, he gasped, “Are you okay? What happened?? You just disappeared!”

“I’m sorry. I just needed a few minutes.”

“In the middle of the most important song of the night?”

Her voice cracked. “I said I was sorry.” And she was. She should have stayed till the end. “I was caught off guard.”

“Oh no, babe. Shit! I’m sorry, (y/n). I overwhelmed you, didn’t I? I shouldn’t have made it so public. It should have been a private conversation. Forgive me?” he whispered.

“Of course. You’re my best friend and I’m happy for you,” she smiled softly, truly. And she was. His happiness meant more to her than anything else. It was just going to take some time to refortify her heart. “I wish you and Camila the best.”

“Camila?” Little wrinkles formed between his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

“What do you mean, what am I talking about?” she puffed.

Suddenly Shawn started laughing.

(Y/n) placed her hands in the center of his chest and pushed him away, unamused.

He caught her wrists and pulled her to him. “I wasn’t singing that song for her.” He placed her hands over his heart and covered them with his own. “I was singing it for you, my beautiful, clueless, wonderful, precious love.”

“What?” she exhaled.

“I finished singing and looked for your eyes, only to find you gone.”

“I don’t understand,” she whispered.

“I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend. Not Camila. You, (y/n). In front of the entire Staples Center audience. Why did you think I wanted Camila?”

“You kept looking at her side stage.”

“I glanced at her twice,” he contended, lightheartedly. “I was surprised. I didn’t expect her to be here tonight. It’s true that she recently told me she has deeper feelings for me-”

“And you have always had feelings for her.”

“I had feelings for her. Past tense. Before I met you. Are you really arguing with me about how I feel about you?” he smirked.

“But you didn’t sing that song last night, when Camila wasn’t here.”

“You are!” he laughed again.

“Stop laughing!” she exclaimed, unable to stop herself from giggling, her heart blooming with hope. She then whispered, “Did you really mean it?”

“Oh, darling...

“If I had professed my feelings last night and you had turned me down, I don’t think I would have been able to get through tonight. Telling you tonight, when there were three days before San Francisco, would have either given us time to disappear together for a few days, or would have given me time to sort myself out if you didn’t want me the way I want you.

“Please tell me you want me.”

(Y/n) wanted to scream, yes, I want you!, but instead she teased, trying to keep a straight face, “I don’t know. Any boyfriend of mine has to be a good kisser. Are you a good kisser?”

“I am a fantastic kisser,” he grinned. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and slid his hand to the nape of her neck.

“Prove it.”

His other hand circled her waist, fell against the small of her back. He leaned in, watched her eyelids flutter, then close, and gently guided her lips to his.

She had imagined this moment for so long but it was much more than she had ever expected. Thousands of thoughts were forced away to make room for one single idea. How could one kiss cause the world to fall away around her?

“Shawn,” she said, breathless, easing away.

“Still proving it,” he murmured. He softly licked at the seam of her lips, and when she responded he deepened their kiss. Her heart was pounding, and she was warm from head to toe. She felt his tongue meet hers and her entire body began to hum.

Their knees were weak when their lips separated.

Shawn touched his nose to hers. “Well...?”

“I will be more than happy to kiss you all night long, but only after you take a shower,” she giggled.

~ * ~

(Y/n) knocked on the adjoining door. She didn’t wait for a response before letting herself through.

Shawn was leaning against the dresser, partly sitting on it, phone to his ear, wearing nothing but baggy, cotton pajama pants. His chest and feet were bare. By his side of the conversation, (y/n) grasped that they were talking about the plan for the days leading up to San Francisco.

He held his hand out to her in invitation. His legs fell open and she automatically moved into the V they made. He ended his call, set his cell aside, and placed his large hands on her hips.

“So, about what you said... Something about kissing me all night long?”

She moved even closer to him. One of her hands curled around the back of his neck, the other tangled in his still damp curls. The roughened pads of his thumbs caressed the bare, soft skin just above the waistband of her pajama shorts.

She kissed him, tenderly at first, and then with growing intensity. He gently bit her top lip, sucked it, her teeth tugged on his lower lip. His kiss was determined and sent her head spinning. She began to tremble as she clung to him.

Shawn’s lips slowed and softened; he eased away and breathed, “I’ve already waited so long; we can take our time.” He slid his hands further up (y/n)’s sides, under her shirt. “We don’t have to rush into anything. I can wait for you.” She felt his thumbs brush either side of her breasts.

She started trailing tiny kisses from his chin up along his jawline before touching the tip of her tongue to the lobe of his ear. “I don’t want to wait,” she purred.

“Oh, thank God,” he groaned before again pressing hungry lips to hers.

She responded without hesitation.

Her hands trailed down his chest and to his sides, her fingers playing over the ripples of his stomach. She brushed her knuckles against the start of his arousal and his breath hitched, cupped him through thin cotton.

He arched his pelvis against the heat of her palm and she heard a low, rumbling moan from the back of his throat. He tangled a hand in her hair, tugged gently. He bit down on the skin of her clavicle, sucked, soothed it with his tongue.

She pulled away from his mouth. “Shawn!” she scolded, playfully, chuckled, “You’re going to leave a mark!”

“Good. Show everyone you’re mine. Mark you everywhere. But this,” he smirked, kissing the already purpling bloom, “will be the only one people can see.”

“Fuck,” she sighed. His claim on her made a shiver trickle up her spine.

“If you insist,” he grinned, smugly.

Feeling bold and sexy, she hooked a fingertip in the waistband of his pajama bottoms and starting walking backward. He stood to his full height and followed.

(Y/n) felt the backs of her legs hit the mattress. With fluid movement, she slid her shorts down, stepped out of them, and pulled her camisole up and over her head. She stood before him in small lace panties, breasts bare, nipples tight.

The way he looked upon her made her blood thrum, her body flush. He licked his lips, bit softly on the fuller, lower one.

His hand reached out and cupped one of her breasts. He gently tugged at her nipple, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. Instinctively, her hand slipped between her legs, at her core, and she rubbed herself through the damp lace. His nostrils flared when he caught the scent of her arousal. He whimpered, her name falling like a prayer from his lips.

“I wanna see you,” (y/n) purred.

Obeying, oh so eagerly, Shawn pushed his pants down, over his ass, off, his cock bouncing free, filling, curling up toward his stomach right before her eyes. He wrapped thumb and forefinger around the base, his other fingers pressed flush against his scrotum.

“Been thinking about me like this?” he hummed.

Yes. God, yes. Maybe one day she would tell him just how much. It was her turn to lick her lips and bite the lower one.

They fell together onto the bed in a tangle of limbs and with a crash of lips. When they separated to catch their breath, (y/n) reached over to turn off the bedside lamp.

“Nuh-uh, Sugar,” Shawn rasped. “Waited too long for this.” Voice rough with desire he sang softly, “I wanna love you with the lights on, keep you up all night long... Darling, I wanna see every inch of you, I get lost in the way you move...”

She might have giggled if her panties weren’t being drawn down over her hips, if calloused fingertips hadn’t begun to dance along soft, hot, electrified skin, lips and tongue following.

He took a dusky, peaked nipple into his mouth. Her back arched, hands grasping at the sheets at her sides, and moaned softly. He sucked her other nipple into his mouth, tasting, humming.

“Shawn,” she whined, moving a hand to tangle it in his dark curls, tugging him away from her breasts.

“Tell me what you want, Love.”

“I want you. I need you,” she pleaded.

“What was that?”

“Fuck me, Shawn.”

“Mm... Since you asked so sweetly,” he smirked, stroking his cock. He rolled on a condom and moved to rest between her legs.

She reached between them, taking him in her hand, and he shuddered. She wanted to feel the moment he slid into her. He let her guide him. Their eyes met and held, bodies drew together, foreheads touched. She groaned with deep satisfaction into his mouth as she adjusted to his girth and length.

He wheezed, stilled as he bottomed out. She was so tight around him that if he began to move in that moment it would be over too soon.

“You okay there, Mendes?” she purred and imperceptibly tightened her legs around his waist.

“Oh God.” That tiny shift was almost too much. “You feel so good. Too good,” he mumbled. “I need a minute.” His arms on either side of her, holding his weight above her, he buried his lips in the crook of her neck, centered on the scent of her skin as he salvaged control.

One hand again tangled in in his hair, the other stroked the skin of his upper back.

“Okayokay,” he mumbled, and he began to rock into her, slow... rhythmic... deep.

She gasped when the pebbled nubs of her breasts brushed against his taut nipples. Her whimpers and groans mingled with his rumbles and moans. She was torn between closing her eyes and wanting to watch his face as warmth and pleasure coursed through her.

He wanted her to climax before him. Wanted to watch her fall apart beneath him.

He knew she was nearly there when she began to ripple on the bed like a wave on the sea. The tide came all the way up; he was caught in the rush. And then the knot at the root of his cock dissolved in fire and he was falling fast, craving the feel of her so close to him, unsure where he ended and she began.

( FIN )

~ * ~

@theregoesmyherojd @benito-mi-vida @shawn-is-my-giant-jellybean @mendesblurb

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes request #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes x you #shawn mendes x y/n

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purplerose244 · 3 years

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My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (3/4)

SPOILERS ALERT!!!

Yep yep yep, I'm liking this season a lot! 😍 Although I hope we'll get into a more frantic situation now, like with more battles and more bonding moments (Nya and Maya hopefully, but with Bentho too 🦈🦈🦈)! We got half a season to go, I'M READY!! 😎😎

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

I do like the season a lot, maybe MoM was a little more cohesive? Idk but it's not a big complain, I still love it so far 😍

Also maybe I would've liked more interactions between Nya and Maya about how they've been apart for so long, they had a chit chat but I would've loved even more. Maybe with Nya saying that it was fine and she grew up only to realize she is still hurt by that, even though it wasn't Maya's fault. I still like how they did it, I wished there was more that's it 🤷‍♀️

While I do make sense to Maya's behavior, that while it seems a little different from Hands of Time it had its logic in my opinion, maybe Ray feels a little weird? He seems less courageous than before, and it was established that he is a hothead like his son so that came off as unusual 🤔🤔

But I do love the fact that he's here and he's bonding with his son, for real, I've been waiting for this for so long so I'm happy nonetheless 🤩

Maybe I'm just easy to please and I take all I can get idk 😅

THE STORM AMULET

Oh, are we gonna address the wind element? It feels like we haven't really seen a Morro reference since Hands of Time, that would be cool! 😍 I mean, why even mentioning the wind then 😅😅

Well what do you know, they tracked them, who saw that coming?... me, I saw that coming... we all did probably 🤷‍♀️

Jay took upon himself making a quick recap on how Ninjago will be destroyed this time, thanks Bluebell 👌

Yep nyeheh electricity makes Nya go crazy for sure ❤💙 ... wait it wasn't a Jaya pun?

Jay wear your seatbelt please, you risk you life enough 😅😅 Pff lol "are we there yet" and they are actually there, biggest plot twist I've ever heard of 😂

LEGO HUG 💜💜💜

And with someone who might as well join the League of Jay apparently 💙

I liked The Island yet it was not as exciting as I hoped for, but now understand the meaning of it. The ninja helped the keepers and they are all allies. Without The Island the moment where Mammatus gives Nya the amulet wouldn't be as meaningful

Is it just me or Nya looked even more gorgeous during that moment?... just me huh? Okay then 😂💕

Wait that's a fake? Wait... UNCLE POWERS?!? OMG THAT I ACTUALLY DIDN'T SEE COMING 🤯

Here I thought he was just messing around, he always makes things harder 😅 Or maybe better? I mean, they kinda missed a bullet on this one...

BENTHO IS SO SWEET AND COOL OMG HE IS ALREADY OUR FRIEND 💙🦈💙🦈

Jay somehow had his own TV show in the past and yet he's got that horrible acting skills wth 😂😂😂

Kalmaar is a very cool villain, like, deeply evil. Not only he's calculated and merciless, he stops at nothing to get what he wants. And the people that get in the way? He wants them to suffer because they had dared to confront him 😳

And yes the voice does help a lot, I'm sorry I'll keep saying it until the season is over 😂 (or even beyond? Please cast Giles again LEGO 🥺🥺🥺)

Awww Nya no my poor girl 😢 Jay wanted to hug her to comfort her he is so sweet my SHIP ❤💙❤💙

MOM PEP TALK MOM PEP TALK!!! 🤩🤩🤩 How cool was it?

Like, this isn't even Maya asking Nya to believe in herself, this is her saying that she KNOWS her daughter can do anything when she puts her mind into it. FINALLY SHE SEES HOW AMAZING WATER GODDESS IS 💜💜💜

MORE LEGO TEARS OMG THIS SEASON IS FILLED WITH TEARS 😱 Which... kinda makes sense considering it's a water based season 😂

Nice one, and now? NOW WE GO BACK TO KAI COLE AND RAY YAS!!! ❤🖤❤🖤

RIDDLE OF THE SPHINX

That is... surprisingly Egypt theme like? It feels like a title coming from the Fire Chapter of season 11... well we got two fire elementals so 😍😍

SPARRING KAI AND RAY

I REPEAT SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! ❤❤❤ Lol Ray got old, but how can someone blame him? He did touch death while aging in Hands of Time, I'm just happy he is alive 😂

Yep, master prankster Wu, that's what I love 👌👌 I always thought Wu had become a father figure for Kai at the beginning, so seeing Ray and Wu in the same picture feels very wholesome to me 😚

Ah, uncle Powers, I both love you and hate you so freaking much 😌😌 But you make cool slides nonetheless 😂

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH BEAUTIFUL SMITH INTERACTIONS??

BECAUSE I LIKE IT KEEP GOING 🤩

Oh no you guys are stranded on an island whatever are you going to do?? It's not like you had already before and managed to survive (Skybound) or you got stranded on a rock in a sea of sand filled with giant monsters (Fire Chapter) or you were on a freaking COMET in SPACE (Rebooted). Yeee, this is the worst yet 🙂

I'm starting to think these ninja are just a bunch of drama queens so no matter what happens, it's always hopeless 😂😂 I feel like I'm kinda right on this one honestly 😛

Whoa whoa WHOA WHO IS NYAD THIS SOUNDS VERY COOL???

Aww I like that, while Ray told his kids stories about dragons and how they traveled through the Underworld, Maya told them about Nya the first water master that could summon whales 💙❤💙❤

Pff imagine if it turned out Nya was the master of fire, carrying a very water based name? Lol

Maya: I would know if it was possible!

Nya: Yeah, like she knows that I can control a bit of ice because it's frozen water

Maya:...

Maya: YOU WHAT

I find both interesting and very annoying that this explorers club thinks so highly of themselves, to the point the deny to aid even the FREAKING SAVIORS OF THEIR FREAKING LAND 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Misako got good reflexes after all, Kai was probably ready to melt this guy's face 😅

Oh, so a trial by Sphinx is a challenge? A mental one? A cultural one? A physical one? Idk but Misako is actually taking charge and that is cool I guess 🤷‍♀️

Okay this is kind of weird, how is Ray so afraid? Is it because there's fire?... did he... did he grow afraid of fire for some reason? Because it feels a bit off for now, but if there is a deeper meaning that could be interesting 🤔

Wait is that the riddle from Decoded? That's fire right?

IT IS FIRE 🔥🔥🔥

Lol at least in this one Kai wasn't completely ignored 😂 I know my flame babe isn't the most rational person, but I do like that it was an answer connected to his element where he used his head!

Ah Clutch, you really got no backbone 😅 And apparently you're the only explorer who doesn't, dang look at the others go! I'm having a bit more respect for them now 😚

LOOK AT SENSEI GO FINALLY!!! 😍😍 FIGHTING SCENES HECK YES!!!

Kalmaar: I'm your conquerer

Wu: so after skeletons, the serpentine, nindroids, the Stone Army, Chen's army, ghosts, oni, more snakes but on fire and people from a game, that makes you the tenth. Have a free cookie

Kalmaar:...

Wu: you're not special

Is this a little throwback to Possession too? Nya seems to always control better water when she doesn't actually think about it. When her feelings are free, so are her powers 🌊🌊🌊

Also this opens up more possibilities! Creatures connected with other elements might get summoned too! I would love something like that 😍😍

This was NEAT, or maybe I just missed Kai that much ❤ What's next??

PAPERGIRL

ANTONIAAAAAAAA!!!! MY GIRL IS BACK!!! All my girls are back in this season, I'm so happy 😍😍😍 And if she is here, sweet little Nelson has to be around and I cannot wait! Bring in the purple ninja! 💜

Owww Antonia's last day as a papergirl? Nooo why??

She's got a job at the... DAIRY DRAGON??? OMG OMG OMG IT'S THE ICE CREAM PLACE BRAGI TOLD US ABOUT ON TWITTER!!! 🤩🤩🤩 I remember the post, he was asking about names for the place and ice cream flavors. Now I can't wait to see what did he choose 🍦🍦🍦

UNAGAMI BABY HI HONEY!!! 🙋‍♀️ I hope he's doing great 😘😘

This is so cool honestly, Antonia got her own character arc going on! Living in a chaotic city like Ninjago City must be pretty dang exhausting 😅

Was... was that Dareth in the garbage can? Am I wrong? Poor brown ninja 😅🤎😅

SPINJITZU SWIRL, BANANAKHAN, ORANGE SERPENTINE, I'M DYING 😂😂😂

Their friendship is so wholesome, I'm so happy they are still together no matter what happens 💕

I thought Kalmaar wasn't much of a fighter but DANG he's got skills! Also the fact that he uses tentacles makes the fight very cool to watch! 😚😚

RAY RUNNING IN AFTER KAI GOT HURT HECK YES ❤❤❤

Well at least you tried Ray 😅

Ah, little cameo of the original Weekend Whip, always nice to hear it again... AND DO THE WEEKEND WHIP!!! 🌪🌪🌪

EVEN NELSON GOT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I'M SO PROUD 💜

I don't even know what is cooler, the kids being mad lads on their bikes, Kalmaar driving a TRUCK or Kai going full parkour on the buildings to follow them 🤯

I'm sorry... am I the only one that during the Kai and Kalmaar talk kinda thought of Jestro and Clay? I miss my boys from NK, they're even more at odds now 😭😭

KAI YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE OR EVEN TRY TO DIE GET BACK HERE AT ONCE 😱😱

Kalmaar just loves to make everyone feel inferior, gotta be his hobby 😶

Oh good Kai is back

OH NOT GOOD KAI IS NOT BREATHING?!? FLAME BABE I TOLD YOU YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE 😱😱😱

Antonia, Nelson, you guys are now my heroes. You saved my fave, I'll be forever in dept with you ❤❤❤ Am I being overdramatic? Most likely, but Kai is one of the few that didn't almost die or did die in a dramatic situation and he is also my absolute favorite character so that... kinda keeps my sanity in check in this show 🥴

I wonder... does he still not know how to swim? He saved Lloyd in Possession but I wonder if he was only trying to float on the surface... THAT'S TERRIFYING

This episode was so adorable, I love Antonia and Nelson so much 💜💕💜💕 It's nice to see what the other people of Ninjago do while everything goes mad 🤣

Wait hang on my Ninjajan is a little rusty

"Ninjago City. City that never sleeps" well if that ain't the truth 😂

MASTER OF THE SEA

Like Master of the Mountain? Wait are we going back to Shintaro?? VANYA?? ANOTHER BEST GIRL RETURNS??? 💛

Hey hey hey, we got a full Nyad backstory! I really like when they do these little drawn shots, they feel more like legends! And... the ending sounds terrifying? Like, they wouldn't let Nya sacrifice herself and die... again... right? 😱

Bentho: and the world was in balance, until now because of my brother

Lloyd: and the Overlord before of course

Bentho: the what now?

Lloyd: the evil one my grandpa the first Spinjitzu Master fought?

Bentho: YOUR WHAT NOW

Why do I like this offscreen "hiiiyaaa" that sensei Wu does before actually going into the scene? 😂😂

No matter if they come from the underground or the sea, these are all snake-like creature with the same intellect 😅 Kalmaar and Garmadon would have a lot to talk about, sea king dealing with his minions does remind me of Lord Garmadon in season 2 a lot 😂😂

KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER ❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤

OMG Kalmaar is such a brat and petty villain I love him so much 😂😂😂 Yes I didn't even mention his amazing voice!... AH DANG IT 😳😳

*Misako kicks Kalmaar and is actually useful* 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

*Misako gets taken as hostage immediately after* 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

KAI LITERALLY JUST GOT SAVED FROM DROWNING WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO HIM!!!... and Ray and Cole and Wu of course, I care okay 😅

OMG that face 🤣🤣🤣

That some meme material right there

Whoa Vincent that voice just got super up when the Unsinkable showed up, it kinda sounded like Jay's lol

NO NOT BENTHO!!! 😢😢😢

Kai: Nya talks to whales now? (I snorted so hard at this 😂😂)

HECK YES NYA GOT THE AMULET!! 😍😍😍 ... we got, like, four more episodes to go so something needs to happen in between... do I need to be scared? I feel like I need to be scared 😅

Jay starting a fire then blaming Kai?... this is so in character I got chills 😂😂

SHARK BOY IS STAYING TO THE MONASTERY THIS IS SO PRECIOUS!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 I want all the shenanigans and we need to write fanfictions about more shenanigans and AAAAHHHHH 🦈🦈🦈

Bless these two fire idiots

They own my heart ❤🔥❤🔥 Also Vincent, this is supposed to be a fun little gag moment, your amazing voice acting is kinda distracting me 😭😭😭

ANOTHER LEGO HUG

YOU GUYS ARE SPOILING ME OVER HERE HECK YES 💙🌊💙🌊

Maya learned that her daughter is capable of everything, I love that. Nya simply understood that she doesn't have to give up when something gets difficult. She is AMAZING and can do anything she puts her mind into. She simply has to hold on until the end 💪💪💪

Omg Benthomaar playing billiard with the guys I already love this 😍😍

YES IT IS SHINTARO!!! THE UPPLY ARE HERE OMG!!! HI VANYA YOU LOOK AMAZING GIRL MISS YOU I HOPE YOU'RE DOING OKAY!!! 💛💛💛 ... I just really like Master of the Mountain okay 😅

I love how Vanya doesn't even question it. It comes from Cole and he said it needs to be protected? Done and done 👌

Wait what, did something fall?

IS THAT THE FAKE?!?!? WHAT HOW WHEN??? UNCLE POWERS??? OR KALMAAR DID SOMETHING??? SOMEONE??? I'M LEGIT CONFUSED AND EXCITED??? 🤯🤯🤯

Well dang, I didn't see that coming, now what Seabound? What do you have for me?

45 notes · View notes

artsy-hobbitses · 3 years

Note

So... Hi. I was the anon who asked about ocs. I do have one, but without any visuals, (bc I haven't drawn her in forever.) She's my lil birb girl who was abandoned as a baby by no one knows who and was found by a group of scientists and experimented on for years until she managed to escape her handlers. She traveled until she deemed it safe and decided to reemerge into society. Ironically enough, she decided to reemergence in Glascow, Scotland. (1/2)

(con’t)

#inbox

8 notes · View notes

igotyouniverse · 3 years

Text

Breathe Me - Chapter 2 [nct vamp au]

Description: After dropping out of college and coming home for the first time in two years, 22-year-old Ava Lee gets caught up in a mystery surrounding the people she thought she knew for so long. Between friendship, affairs and true love the young women finds herself being pulled into a nightmare she would never wake up from.

Pairing: Oc x Taeyong , Oc x Johnny [side: markxoc, tenxoc, lucasxoc, jaehyunxoc]

Included Members: Taeyong, Johnny, Mark, Lucas, Ten, Jaehyun, Doyoung, Haechan (maybe more)

Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst, Fantasy

Warnings: some swearing I guess and some umm angst (this chapter)

suggestive content, strong language, violence, blood, death. probably more, not sure yet (later chapters)

a/n: yeah who doesn't like awkward encounters in cafés and bookstores? Plus an awkward party with a big surprise? Sign me up. Anyway, that's the second chapter for this baby. I got carried away a lot, so it turned out a lot longer than expected but I honestly didn't want to split it up. A lot is happening! I'm honestly so excited for the third one as the main plot will start there and let me tell you – it will go WILD, haha. Enjoy ♥

ch. 1 || ch. 3

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“Oh, hey Ava. Haven't seen you in forever. How are you? That's exactly what he said.”, Ava told her best friend while savouring her freshly baked croissant.

Yunmi sighed and took another sip form her third coffee. “I mean you actually didn't see him in nearly three years.”

Ava shot her friend a glance and snorted. “Yeah, well, that's not my bad. He decided to completely ignore me for no reason at all.”

“Yeah, because he's a jerk. That's a fact.”, Yunmi said with a smile, trying to comfort her friend.

“Totally.”

“A handsome jerk, tho.”, Ava added and drank a sip of her water, trying to avoid her friend's gaze.

“Yup, we all got eyes. But I still don't get it. I mean you two didn't even hook up, did you?”, she felt Yunmi's eyes staring holes in her body.

“No, I've told you a hundred times. We just kissed. I think I'd remember if I hooked up with fucking Johnny Suh.”, Ava sighed with frustration in her voice. Of course she thought Johnny was attractive. Well, not only attractive. It was like she was just drawn to his simple presence. Not to mention, that he was funny, smart, caring and overall just a good person. Or that's what she thought before he decided to just erase her out of his life.

She just couldn't get a hang of it. The memories she had of that night were just magnificient. The farewell party was fun and chill. Everyone enjoyed themselves while dancing or just having drinks. She wasn't even that buzzed, especially not in the moment she remembered so clearly it even felt a little surreal sometimes. But she could remember so clearly how she talked to Johnny for hours about everything. It wasn't the typical smalltalk they usually had – she told him about her worries for university, her feelings about this god forsaken town and even managed to tell him that he crushed on him for years, not having the balls to ask him out. Him being the best friend of her brother didn't make the whole situation easier, though.

And then, just like in all these movies she binge-watched with Yunmi he actually kissed her. And not like a friend, no, she remembered his lips on hers so clearly. The softness of them and how perfectly fit on hers like they were just meant to be. Yet, it felt like a dream sometimes. She felt how much passion the kiss had, it was breathtaking, like a sweet drug she couldn't get enough from and yes, she absolutely would've slept with him but she knew that he was a gentleman. They just chuckled at each other before he brought her home, promising to call the next day before her flight would take off.

But that never happened.

“Maybe you should try talking to him? Like face-to-face. You won't be able to avoid him forever, especially because of Mark.”, Yunmi said and tried to read her friends emotions but Ava just chuckled.

“Watch me.”

The café Yunmi picked out was next to the bookstore Mark worked at. Ava remembered how the spot was always closed and under construction but apparently it opened a few months ago. The style was simple and comfy. It was a light store with paintings on the walls and different types of plants everywhere. Huge windows allowed a view over the main street and the small park right in the middle. It seemed oddly familiar to Ava, even though she never set a foot in this building. But something just felt like she's been there before but she couldn't figure it out.

“I need more coffee.”, Yunmi said and pouted looking at her empty cup.

“Dude, that was your third coffee.” Ava laughed and looked at her friend, with just a tint of worry in her eyes.

“Happens when you work as a nurse. Night shifts are just so tiring here. Nothing happens anyway but I wasn't able to take a nap because I had to do all these papers.”, she said annoyed and pouted at Ava, holding up her empty cup.

The girl sighed and smiled, standing up to get her friend her needed refill.

Ava went up to the empty counter and looked for the young waiter she saw earlier but to her surprise another young man came out, looking at her with warm eyes.

“Can I get a refill please?”, she asked politely and handed the guy the cup after he nodded. His eyes focused on her for just a second, but for her it felt longer. Did she know him? His hair was dyed in a ashy-blonde color, hair framing his delicate facial features. His eyes looked warm yet they had something deep and maybe even dark about them. The way he moved looked elegant. She eyed him just for a second longer, trying hardly to think why he looked so familiar. She even felt like she somewhat heard his voice before. She squinted her eyes trying to take a look at his name tag but apparently he didn't even wear one.

“Here. Do you need something else?”, he asked.

Ava froze for a split second, realized how impolite it was to stare at a person as bluntly as she did.

“No, thank you. I really like the place, though. It's pretty.”, she smiled lightly and took the cup.

The guy thanked her, his face lightened up, a smile appearing on his face, which made her feel warm all of a sudden. Why did his smile see so familiar?

She hurried back to the table her friend was sitting, giving her her desperately needed caffeine.

“Who's the guy at the counter?”, Ava asked.

Yunmi immediately turned around to take a look at who her friend meant.

“Taeyong. He owns this place.”

After Ava stayed silent, not quite sure if she knew him or not, Yunmi added,

“He lives together with Johnny and Jaehyun in that house. We met him there once, don't you remember?”, Yunmi asked and raised a brow.

“I don't know. I guess? You know how bad my memory is.”, Ava chuckled and stared at her glass of water before giving her friend a smile.

Honestly, she wasn't sure if she remembered. Maybe she did meet him back then. Maybe not.

“He's cute, isn't he? He even makes the pastries himself.”, Yunmi said and took a bit of her sandwich after inhaling her coffee.

“Yeah, he is nice, I guess.”, Ava said, looking over at the counter where Taeyong stood. She saw how his eyes met hers, holding the eye-contact for just a bit before he turned around and went to the back.

Weird.

“There will be a party tonight at their house.” Yunmi said, eyeing her friend once more. After Ava didn't answer right away Yunmi sighed.

“We should go. It will be fun.” she added.

“Since when do you want to go parties?”, Ava asked her friend, raising her brow. As long as she remembered Yunmi and her weren't the type of girls who went to parties. They usually preferred a good movie night with food over drinks and bad music. Even in college, Ava didn't attend many of those famous college parties she heard about.

“Their parties are usually really nice.”, she smiled softly and started to play with a strand of her brown hair.

“Mh-mh. Their parties or just someone at their parties?”, Ava teased her friend, poking her cheek.

Yunmi pouted a light shade of red on her cheeks. She caught her.

“Well, you won't know if you don't join.”, Yunmi poked out her tongue at Ava, laughing softly at her.

“Fine. But if I see Johnny I'll leave.”, Ava said firmly and looked at her hands for a second. She really didn't want to attend another party where he was after the last time, even if it was years ago.

“He lives there, genius. Of course he will be there. But it will be fun, I promise. Maybe you could even use the chance to talk to-”

A glance of Ava cut her friends words off, holding her hands up in defeat.

“Fine. Or ignore him. Just come with me. I'll introduce you to some cool people, okay?”

The girl groaned until she gave in.

“Okay. I will be there. Mark probably wants to go too, anyway.”, Ava said and rummaged in her bag, trying to find her phone.

“Probably.”, Yunmi answered, seemingly uninterested if the boy would join them or not.

“Mh, can't find my phone.”, Ava muttered, unable to find anything in her bag anyway.

“Well, the bookstore is right next-door, I'll just ask him there. I think he's working.”, she looked to her best friend who seemed to have spaced out for a second.

“You join me?”, she asked, touching Yunmis hand for a second. Her best friend shook her head, smiling at her.

“No no, I need to take a nap and a shower before the party. Just, um, say hello from me, will you?”, Yunmi stood up, taking her jacket over her arm, helping to put the empty plates and cups on the empty counter.

“Yeah, sure. See you then.”, Ava said putting the rest of the plates on the counter, a bit surprised about the sudden haste her friend was in.

She sighed taking a look around the café once more before leaving it for the day. Ava tried her best to not overthink the whole situation and slowly walked to the next door on the street, leading into the small bookstore her younger brother worked at.

She strolled through the filled shelves, inhaling the magnificent scent of all the bound books walking up to her most favourite isle – old classics. Her fingers trailed over the spines, feeling their different textures. She used to read a lot, every week a new book in her hand, ready to savour it in just one sitting. Back then, it felt easy to just sit down, a book in her hands and shutting the world out completely, focusing only on the words forming these beautiful pictures inside her head, making all these thoughts haunting her in real life go away just like that. When did she lose this talent? Nowadays, she just couldn't get herself to actually read a book. She continues to buy them, placing them prominently on her nightstand, in hopes for her to just grab it in the evening but the pile of books just grew bigger and bigger over the weeks until she finally stopped to even buy them. She hoped to get back into her once most loved hobby. Even if it was just for a few minutes.

“Hey, didn't expect you to visit me.”, she heard Mark saying and turned around, a big smile on her lips.

“I wanted to surprise you, I've actually met with Yunmi. We had breakfast in the café next door.”, Ava answered and looked at her brother. She chuckled mildly. He looked so grown-up and mature in his plain black shirt with his round glasses on, his dark hair falling into his face. She realized how different he looked from the last time she saw him. Unbelievable that he was already 20 years old.

“Oh-Uh, yeah it opened up a few weeks ago. The owner is Jaehyun and Johnny's roommate.”, Mark said after he scratched the nape of his neck. “H-How's Yunmi? She alright?”, he asked casually while sorting a book from his hand into the shelv.

“Yeah, I guess. She said hello but had to rush home.”, Ava answered, shrugging her shoulders.

She eyed her brother and how he fumbled with the hem of his shirt, he seemed to want to say something but decided not to.

“Anyway.”, he exhaled loudly and cleared his throat before smiling at Ava. “I'm happy you're visiting. Want me to show you around? I mean you technically know it, though.”, her brother chuckled.

But as the good sister she is she nodded and let her brother show her all the different types of book they had and which authors occasionally came to give a reading. Seeing his eyes lighten up just by the name of these authors made her heart melt. He explained passionately the several differences in their writing techniques and why they were his favourites. He told her how he fell in love with classic literature, especially romance and tragedy.

Ava listened to him swooning over different works and their means to past society, yet he even read modern novels. She looked at all the books, most of them she already read by herself when she was younger. She felt proud seeing him glowing up, doing what he loved without hiding.

“I just hope I'll be half as good as them.”, she heard her brother sighing when he put down the last book.

Ava put a hand on his slim shoulder and smiled at him warmly.

“I’m sure you will be. Trust me, I will be your biggest fan!”, she laughed and ruffled his hair, making him scrunch his nose before trying to fix his hair.

“Please. I appreciate the encouragement but it's still a long way. Plus mom and dad are still not very fond of the idea of me becoming an author. They think it's still a phase and that I will soon realize it's stupid and become a doctor like – well.”, he shrugged his shoulders before speaking out his thoughts.

Ava bit her lip. “I will tell them.”, she said, not believing her answer.

“When will you, though? I mean, I'm not pressuring you. I get it, it's hard but don't you think it will be even harder the longer it lasts? They're not stupid.”, Mark said looking at his sister, his eyes were filled with worry.

“I know. I'm just – imagine their disappointment. I need a plan, you know?”, she muttered, trying to avoid his gaze. She felt guilty for lying but she would feel even worse seeing the disappointment in her parents eyes when they realize she wasn't that perfect daughter they saw her as.

“Promise me you'll figure something out, okay? It's not healthy.”, he said, looking up when he heard the door open.

“Yes, I promise. Just give me some more time, will you?”, she pleaded at him, pouting as best as she possibly could.

“Sure.”, he rolled his eyes, sighing deeply before he put on a smile and waved at the new customer.

Ava turned around and saw two young men walking in.

“Hey guys, what are you doing here?”, Mark said and smiled, walking up to his friends.

Ava just sighed, silently asking the universe why it made life for her that hard.

“Hi.”, she just briefly said, trying not to look directly into Johnny's eyes. She even managed to ignore him and just gave Jaehyun a smile which he joined.

“Long time no see. You look good.”, Jaehyun said and brushed his hand briefly at her arm.

Ava chuckled, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. “Thanks.”

She felt Johnny looking at her standing next to Jaehyun, eyeing both of them. Just like she wanted him to do.

“We're actually looking for books for the café. Taeyong wants to have some more for visitors to read.”, Johnny said after clearing his throat. Ava's eyes wandered to Johnny's just for a quick second but she already found herself being mesmerized by his presence once again. She liked the way he wore his black hair, the strands falling into his face just perfectly. Her gaze locked at his lips while he spoke with Mark about the books Taeyong wanted and even though the name still rang a bell in the back of her head she couldn't free herself from the way Johnny's lips moved. She knew how soft they felt, recognizing the feeling just too well.

Her thoughts moved back to that night like they always did and the urge to confront him about why he decided to let her hang like that grew stronger. She knew that it would probably was just a kiss for most people but for her it felt so differently. It was romantic and intimate, just how she imagined kissing him over and over again when she was younger. Plus, him declaring his feelings for her made that memory even more perfect. Yet, it all shattered when he ignored her.

She felt a hand on her back and then a breath at her ear, before Jaeyhun whispered

“You good?”

She felt the grin on his face when she rolled her eyes and nodded.

For a split second she saw how Johnny turned his head towards her, looking away just another second later, continuing to talk to Mark.

“Will you be at our place tonight?”, Jaehyun asked, not moving his hand from her back.

“I guess so. Yunmi asked me, too.”, Ava smiled at Jaehyun, wordlessly thanking him.

“Well, you can't say no now. I'd be happy if you came.”, he smiled at her paired with a short wink before laughing with her.

She heard Johnny clearing his throat and looked up to him.

“Anyway, we should head back to the café or Taeyong will be mad at us for leaving him alone for too long.”, he said while taking books off Mark's arms he seemed to have collected for them.

“Sure.”, Jaehyun said and smiled at the others, before looking down at Ava again. “See you tonight then, can't wait.”, he said, stroking her back slightly before leaving behind Johnny.

Ava felt her brother's piercing gaze on her back while she tried to look away, shrugging her shoulders.

“Stop staring at me like that.”, she hissed at Mark and rolled her eyes. She finally looked at him but he just shook his head, wanting to say something but all he did was open his mouth for a second before closing it again, raising both of his hands.

“None of my business.”

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Ava's head felt already heavy without any alcohol in it. She stared at the dark street in front of her, trying to concentrate on driving the car her parents gladly allowed them to use to drive to the party. Of course, she didn't even want to drink. She didn't even want to attend the party at all but she had to admit that she was curious – curious about how the people had changed, curious about how they'd behave and obviously curious about certain of these people whose names she didn't want to think about again.

Even when the last time she visited the house was three years ago she remembered the way so clearly as if she'd just was there yesterday. She took a glance at Mark who was sitting next to hear, looking out of his window, seemingly way up in his own thoughts she wished to read.

Ava sighed quietly, focusing her eyes on the street. She felt anxious about meeting all these people. No one knew about her not so graceful career, still thinking she studied medicine on some ivy league college back in the city everyone dreamed of living. The thought of them asking all these questions she already had to answer her parents made her shiver. Maybe she should just hide in a closet until Mark wanted to go back home. Would be smarter than awkwardly running into someone again – once a day is enough.

Yet she took hours to get ready, carefully picking out an outfit, lipstick and the way she wore her hair, trying to look casual but not too casual. The chance of running into him was just too high for her to not try to make herself look presentable.

The street got more narrow, leading into the woods where the house was.

“I still don't get why they're living in the woods.”, she sighed and looked at Mark for a second before driving on the long gateway leading to the house.

“Taeyong inherited it from his grandma or something.”, Mark answered, waking up from his thoughts.

Ava just nodded, already seeing some more cars and people standing outside. She couldn't see enough to look at their faces. The girl quickly parked the vehicle and stretched her arms once she got out, looking around. The late summer air was still warm and comfortable yet one could sense the upcoming autumn as some leaves slowly turned darker.

The siblings walked down the path leading to the entrance, which led to a huge front yard. It was lighted with small paper lamps, showing off some of the landscaping done. She even heard a fountain splashing somewhere. She looked around, not quite sure if she'd remember the place at all. The house was surrounded by a traditional stone fence and she wondered how old it was. Ava could already hear the people enjoying themselves, with loud music pounding in her ear.

From what she saw through the darkness and the sparse light the house itself looked huge enough to probably fit a hundred people. The door was left open, shoes flooding the entrance area.

After bumping into dozens of people greeting her, smiling and waving she helplessly looked at Mark who was still right behind her looking for someone.

“You made it!”, Ava heard Yunmi screaming in her hear, an arm around her waist, pressing a kiss on her cheek. Ava could smell a note of alcohol in her friend's breath and chuckled.

“How much did you already drink?”, she asked but Yunmi waved her off, her gaze meeting Mark.

“Oh hi Mark. Nice to see you, how are you?”, she asked politely while resting her head on Ava's shoulder.

“Uhm, I'm good thanks. And you?”, he scratched is neck, looking away, probably trying to find his own friends.

“Life's great.”, she answered and laughed, removing her head from her friend's shoulder to take a sip from her cup, shaking it in front of Ava's face.

“Want something? I can totally mix you a drink.”

“No, thanks. I don't drink.”, she answered and smiled apologetic.

“I'm gonna look for Johnny. Hit me up when you want to go home, alright?”, Mark said and disappeared in the moving crowd of people.

“I take it you don't want to look for Johnny?”, Yunmi asked her friend, directly looking at her, rolling her eyes when Ava shook her head.

“Nope. So, who are these cool people you wanted me to get to know?”, Ava smiled.

Yunmi entangled her fingers with hers and dragged her through the crowd, brabbling something about a girl and a boy.

Not long after Ava spotted to semi-familiar people her friend shouted at. A girl with a black long bob smiled warmly and waved.

The boy, a bit shorter than her, with short black hair smiled and greeted her. “Ava, you must remember Ten and Sunhyung, right? We went to Highschool together.”, Yunmi introduced them but Ava wasn't exactly sure who they were. She barely remembered anyone from Highscool, though. At least not their names.

“We were in another class, though.”, Sunhyung chuckled.

“Nice to meet you. So what are you guys doing?”, Ava asked them.

“Well, we're actually officers right now. Ten is my partner.”, Sunhyung explained and smiled at Ten, who just nodded and raised his cup.

“Not on duty tonight, though.”, he winked and exed the rest of the liquid.

“Yunmi told me you're studying medicine? Pretty cool. How's life in the States? This town must bore you to death.”, Sunhyung chuckled and looked at her cup, seemingly disappointed that it was empty.

“I'm actually enjoying it. It's like a vacation.”, Ava answered and hoped no one would ask her to further elaborate on her studies, which weren't even real.

“I'd give everything to travel to a real city. The only “crimescenes” we're looking at are rather boring. It's mostly just noise disturbance or someone's speeding who isn't from here.”, Sunhyung rolled her eyes.

“Hey, last week we had one burglary!”, Ten protested.

“You mean the sixteen-year-old boy who stole some Vodka from the store? How exciting.”, his partner answered sarcastically and laughed.

“I need a refill, you want something?”, Yunmi asked in the group as she apparently spotted something at the bar which needed her attention.

Ten and Sunhyung both nooded eagerly. She didn't bother to look at Yunmi, knowing she'd say no anyway.

Ava's eyes followed her friend to the bar, by which a tall young men stood. She saw how Yunmi straightened her back and smiled at the guy, who she probably knew. Ava noticed how her friend pushed her long hair back and saw how her mouth formed into a laugh after the boy said something. Ava tilted her head, trying to figure out if the knew him or not. She would probably remember a guy like him. He was handsome, yet his face had something sheepish when he talked to Yunmi.

“That's Lucas.”, she heard Sunhyung say and snapped out of her thoughts, “He moved her two years ago. Always hangs out with Johnny and the rest.”, she added and Ava raised her brows. She was pretty sure she never saw or even heard of him before.

“I swear Yunmi has the biggest crush on him. Always swooning over his hands or something.”, Ava heard Sunhyung continue and asked herself why exactly her best friend didn't tell her anything about that guy.

“Well, quite obvious that they're flirting.”, Ten added and nodded.

“Yeah, I'm betting they end hooking up tonight.”, said Sunyhung.

“Never. Both won't make the first moves. They're flirting for months and nothing interesting happened.”, her partner replied.

“Got it in my guts. Tonight is the night.”, Sunhyung nodded with a stern voice.

“Pff, wanna bet? 50 they won't hook up.”, Ten chuckled.

“Make it 100.”, Sunhyung answered, looking at her partner while shaking his hand.

Ava's gaze meanwhile scanned the room for someone else. As if someone read her thoughts, Johnny came down the stairs with Mark right behind him.

Johnny's eyes met Ava's for a moment and she clenched her jaw. She noticed how he was moving towards her and how her heart began to beat faster in her chest.

“I'm gonna get some water or something. Be right back.”, she mumbled and quickly disappeared in the crowd, trying to keep herself as small as possible. Her eyes searched for a kitchen, which she finally found. Gladly, there weren't any people in it. Probably because the whole alcohol was at the bar and no one here wanted to drink something else.

She sighed and looked for a water bottle but all she saw were some empty cups.

“What are you looking for?”, she suddenly heard a way too familiar voice and turned around just to see Johnny standing in the door frame, a small smile on his lips.

“Just some water.”, she answered quietly, trying her best to look away from his dammed face. She saw how he moved next to her and opened a door next to her which apparently belonged to the fridge. Just a second later he handed her a bottle of cool water. Ava looked up and mumbled a quick thank you but it was enough to catch him smiling again, which made her heartbeat increase.

“I'm glad you came.”, Johnny said and leaned with his back against the door, looking down at her.

“Yunmi practically forced me to. It's nice, though.”, she answered, fumbling with the bottle in her hands, not sure what else to do with them.

Silence flooded the room and all the questions burned on her tongue. Taking a deep breath, she managed to look up at him, meeting his gaze. She locked her eyes with his for much longer as initially wanted and already felt how she got lost in his gaze just like everytime he looked at her.

He was handsome. His black hair messily falling into his face, his beautifully shaped lips curling upwards to form a small smile. Johnny's dark eyes seemed to look right through her.

“Can I ask you something?”, Ava finally found her voice and gulped, without breaking of the gaze.

“Anything.”, he answered, his voice unusual quiet.

“I need to know why you ignored me after that night.”

“What exactly do you mean?”, his brows furrowed.

“My last night here. You kissed me. You told me you'd call me the next day but you never did. And when I tried to reach out you simply ignored all my messages.” she sighed loudly, breaking their connection for a second, to gather her thoughts, “Seriously I felt so stupid. I still do.”

“Ava, listen, it's not what you think.”, she heard him answer and looked at his eyes once more.

“Then tell me, Johnny. Seriously. It's driving me insane.”, she pleaded, letting her arms drop in frustration.

Silence came up once more. The girl's frustration grew with any second passing by, not sure what she could say to finally get him to answer properly.

“I really thought about every single reason why you did that.”, she sighed, pain growing inside of her body, “And the only possible reason left is what you never liked me at all.”, she said, her voice just a small whisper, anxious about his answer.

“It's not that I don't like you. It's quite the opposite.”, Johnny said as she looked up at him again.

“I can't believe you.”, she sighed and furrowed her brows, thinking about his reasons why when he liked her.

“Listen, I'm sorry if I had hurt you but it's not that simple.”, he tried to explain but Ava just snorted and chuckled bitterly.

“Seriously just tell me directly into my face that I imagined all of that and that you're not interested. I'm not a kid and you're owing me that.” she answered, pressing her lips together.

“I can't tell you that because it would be a lie.”, now it was Johnny who sighed.

“It's the only possible explanation. Don't you want to tell me that you're not interested because you don't want to hurt me? Honestly, it would've hurt less if you'd just told me instead of ghosting me for years!”, her voice got louder such as her thoughts, which were going crazy inside of her head.

“That's not it.”, now frustration filled his voice as well. Ava looked into his face, seeing how he pushed his hair back, seemingly unsure about what to say.

“God, this is so stupid. I'm just gonna go.”, she dropped her arms in defeat, tired and annoyed. She didn't want to maintain this nonsense conversation when she wouldn't get a proper answer anyway.

Just when she wanted to move out of the door she felt Johnny's hand on her shoulder.

“Just – don't go, please.”, she heard him say and rolled her eyes.

“Then tell me why.”, as soon as she turned around she felt how Johnny laid his arms around her figure, pressing her against his chest softly.

“I'm sorry. I honestly am, please believe me.”, she felt how he buried his head in heir hair and wrapped her arms around his torso, her heart hammering loudly in her chest.

“I want to.”, she mumbled in the material of his black shirt and tightened her grip around him.

It felt unbelievably good to hug him, yet she still didn't get an answer from him, making her anxiety rise inside her body. She still didn't know why and the sudden touch confused her even more.

Ava started to wiggle when she realized her thoughts wouldn't shut up. Reluctantly, she looked up at him, loosening the hug a bit, yet not ready to let him go completely.

“This is confusing. I just want to know what's going on, please.” she pleaded once more, locking her eyes with his, just staring into them, trying to find answers.

She felt how Johnny moved one of his hands up her back, reaching her head, carefully putting one of her strands of hair behind her hear, his hand lingering on her cheek.

Her breath quickened when her eyes wandered over his face, absorbing every inch of it, until she stopped at his just perfectly shaped lips. She licked over hers, memories of how his tasted on hers flooded her mind. Her gaze went up again, meeting his once again that night.

The girl was once again hypnotised by his gaze, unable to look away this time.

Without further thinking about it, she put her hands on his neck and pulled him closer to her, to finally press her lips on his. His lips were just as soft as she memorized them, fitting on hers just as she remembered. The kiss was careful, still anxious about his reaction but when he actually pressed her closer to him, deepening the kiss her mind went completely blank.

Her eyes fell shut, her fingers slightly tightening on the back of his neck, trying to keep him even closer. Their lips moved in perfect sync, just as they belonged on each other. The girl cherished every second of it, how his hands cupped her face while one thumbs caressed her cheek, touching her so softly, as if she could break any second. The taste of his lips were sweet, she couldn't even taste a bit of alcohol, which ensure her that this was what he wanted.

As soft as the kiss was, she knew she wanted more. She needed more. After all these months of anxiety, pain and worry she finally kissed him again. Ava opened her mouth for him, allowing his tongue to play with hers, just like she always wanted to be kissed by him. Her fingers buried in his thick her, while his hands trailed down her body to rest on her hips.

Just before she could press her body closer Johnny pushed himself away, as if he'd burn himself.

Completely puzzled, the girl stared at him, not understanding what was going on.

“I can't. I'm sorry.”, she heard him say, his voice sounding strained, as he quickly ran out of the kitchen, leaving Ava alone once again.

She stared at her hands, her heart still beating fast, trying to catch her own breath. The girl felt how tears formed in the corners of her eyes and how her chest, which felt so light and carefree the other second, now felt like some heavy stone was laying on it, stealing her breath away. She had the sudden urge of fresh air and stumbled out of the kitchen, trying to leave everyone in that house behind her while not being seen. She couldn't manage to explain her situation to anyone. She wanted to be alone.

Ava breathed in the cold air and closed her eyes for a second, trying to get as much distance as possible between her and that house. She took a look at her smartphone to check the time but it wasn't even midnight yet, and she didn't want to be a killjoy and spoil Mark's fun. She made her way out of the garden and looked at the woods behind the property and stopped for a second. She heard how the wind whistled through the branches and how the leftover leaves trailed through the air. Her heart was still pounding in her chest, the latest event flooding her mind. This didn't make any sense to her. Why did he kiss her again? It wasn't just a casual kiss, she could feel that. And this time it wasn't her freaking imagination. The way he hold her and returned her kiss, the way he pressed her against his body – that wasn't imagination.

She actually believed him. She trusted his words yet he was acting like something completely different was on his mind and she just couldn't figure it out. Her thoughts went crazy and she felt how her throat got sore. Why did he stop when it felt so good? Any why did he leave her like that, not explaining his behaviour once again.

Ava kept going towards the trees, sometimes looking up at the sky which wasn't as clear as she thought. Thick black clouds were blocking the moon and stars and she sighed, yet it felt nice to move and properly breathe since the air in the house was muggy and way too hot. Or maybe it just felt like that to her. Her body felt exhausted, yet still full of adrenaline. What did she do wrong? Once again, she went through all the possibilities and couldn't get the hand of it. She didn't want to get hurt again by him, yet there she was. Feeling exactly the same as two years ago. It felt like some kind of absurd Deja Vu.

She flinched when she heard a loud crackle next to her and squinted her eyes, when she couldn't see anything. For a second, she thought someone was here, probably some drunk people enjoying themselves in the woods. She rolled her eyes and continue to stroll when she heard a noise again, but this time it sounded more like a hiss. Ava turned around, trying to see anything but it was too dark. Maybe some brainless jock saw her and tried to scare her.

Another crunching noise, this time right behind her, made her flinch once more, the hairs on her neck standing up. She felt her muscles tighten, when she turned around yet still no one was there. The girl looked a round several times, until she decided to head back to the house which she only saw in some distance thanks to the lights outside. Maybe she could just wait inside the car until Mark wanted to leave the party.

For a few seconds, it was silent again when she heard another noise, this time way closer to her, besides her.

Ava started to run, fear suddenly filling her body as her breath and heartbeat quickened, a feeling of danger flowing her body. The noises got louder, someone was definitely following her. She heard fast footsteps approaching her, whispers and hisses starting to echo inside her head, making her want to scream. She shook her head, trying to leave the voices behind but it was like they were just stuck, burying every other sound under it.

The blood pulsated in her head, breathing loudly. Sweat running down her forehead while her feet tried to run as fast as she could, yet she didn't seem to come any closer to the house.

A dark laugh suddenly appeared as she saw a black figure suddenly standing in front her, which made her stop in her steps, almost falling over.

She couldn't see a face, nor anything else which could possibly explain who it was. The figure took a stop closer to her, making her move backwards until her back met with once of the trees, the tree bark scratching her back uncomfortably.

The girl blinked once and the figure was gone, her blood still pulsating in her veins. She gulped, looking around before continuing to run in the direction she thought was the right one, while still turning her head every other second.

Suddenly she felt a breath on her neck, paired with a deep chuckle, making her stop in her tracks once more. She wanted to ask something, scream, anything but it felt like she suddenly had a lump in her throat. The voices inside her head growing louder and louder with each second passing by.

As soon as she wanted to start running again, a hand grabbed her wrist, forcing her to stand still. The grip was harsh and strong, not moving an inch even when she tried her best to wiggle her wrist free. She grunted and tried to take a look at the person behind her but she couldn't move at all.

“Oh no, you can't look at me. Not now, dear child.”, a voice said. It was more of a whisper than a real voice. The sound seemed hypnotic.

“There, there, hold still. Don't scream now.”, he said as she tried to wiggle herself free until her body stiffened. Suddenly, it was like all the noises she heard a second ago were gone. She didn't hear the whistles of the wind, the arches or their leaves. Nothing. It felt like the was in a vacuum, only the voice echoing in her head, telling her to hold still.

“You see, it's nothing personal.”, he continued and chuckled, sending shivers through her body.

“It's just, you got to understand that you're part of something bigger.”, she felt a hot breath on her neck again, making her want to scream but it felt like she lost her voice.

He heard him click his tongue, followed by a cold finger stroking over her neck.

“Such a pity. So beautiful. I see what he's found in you, honestly. But, you know, sacrifices must be made. And such a pretty one.”, the voice continued.

Tears started to form in her eyes, rolling down her cheek, burning her skin. She didn't know what was going to happen but she felt afraid. More than that – she feared for her life. Something in his presence made her body fill with this primal fear.

“Oh, so pretty while crying, what a sight.”, a finger wiped one of her tears, chuckling mildly.

“You know, I like it when they scream. And now you need to scream, so he can hear you, you know?”, like a snap, Ava seemed to found her voice and screamed in a high-pitched voice.

Suddenly he let her go, making her stumble over her feet, her knees meeting the cold earth. She coughed while pulling herself up, commanding her body to start running again. When her feet started to move and her thoughts came back, the voices also did. They laughed at her in different tones, from every direction. It felt like a circle was around her, closing closer around her, laughing louder with every step she took.

Another desperate scream fell of her lips as she pressed her hands against her ears, trying to make the voices go but they got even louder, so loud she felt like becoming deaf. She couldn't even hear her own breath anymore, while tears ran down her face.

“It's so much fun to play, don't you think?”, she heard his voice echoing inside her head again, the screams suddenly disappearing.

“You know why? Because I always win.”, a chuckle echoed inside her head, turning into a loud laugh next to her ear.

“Maybe he'll find you, maybe he won't. I hope he does, otherwise it would spoil the fun.”, the voice added and she felt the grip on her wrist again.

“Ah, I'd really want to keep you for myself, such a shame.” he sighed, her body stiffen again, whilst she felt like choking, unable to bring out the slightest sound.

“It's nothing personal against you, my love. You just picked the wrong person to spend your time with, that's all.”

Her eyes widened in fear, her mouth suddenly hanging open without leaving a sound when the world around her suddenly turned pitch black.

･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･

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godlydolans · 4 years

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Something Borrowed {e.d.}

Summary: Y/N Y/L/N was the woman Ethan Dolan cheated on his wife with and between the wife and the mistress, the wife always wins. Well, three years later, the wife is no longer alive and Ethan has recently found out he has a son with the woman he had left.

Warning: Angst and a confusing plot.

A/N: Guys, I am so sorry for this mess of a fic. I've been building this universe in my head for almost a year but I seriously can't write so please enjoy whatever abomination I've written down and do feel free to ask me any questions you may have about the plot, characters, etc. I know I haven't done a good job explaining everything in this fic.

At 9 o’clock on Christmas night, Y/N found herself in Elijah’s room, somehow squeezing her form into his bed with him tucked into her left side while Irina was laying her head on Y/N’s right side. Y/N couldn’t quite fit into the bed which was meant for her three year old little boy, but she still managed. Her legs dangled over the edge and she basically had to lay Irina on top of her in order to fit all three of them together but she really didn’t mind.

“And finally, they got Cinderella to try on the shoe.” Her son didn’t like to go to bed without hearing a story from her. Elijah was very much like her in that aspect, he loved hearing stories just as much as he loved telling them. When Y/N was young, her grandma was the person who’d tell her all these exotic tales before she’d go to sleep. Since her son didn’t have a grandma until recently, Y/N took on the role of the storyteller, reading baby books to him ever since he was in her womb. Usually, Elijah didn’t ask to hear princessy tales because he had already heard lol of them so Y/N always did her research on new stories so she could deliver her son with stories he’d never heard before. But since his beloved sister was spending the night for the first time and it was her wish to hear Cinderella’s story, Y/N launched right into it. “And guess what?”

Irina’s little head popped up from Y/N’s arm and she gasped, her blue eyes wide in wonder. “The shoe fit her?!”

“Yes!” She answered with equal enthusiasm. “The shoe fit her perfectly because it was made especially for her by her fairy godmother, you know?”

“And so the Prince married her?” Asked Elijah, making Y/N turn her head to look at her son. He had heard the tale many times but the smile he wore on his face at this part of the story always made her heart happy. Her precious boy always beamed with joy when poor Cinderella finally got her happy ending. Elijah was a sucker for happy endings.

Much like she used to be when she was his age.

“Yeah babe, the Prince was informed by his soldiers that they found his Cinderella and he came to her house in his white horse, took her to his Palace and made her his Queen.” Y/N smiled, pulling Elijah closer to her. The temperature outside had dropped below freezing. Snow could be seen falling from the sky, through the glass window the curtains of which were not drawn completely.

“And she lives happily ever after?” Irina grinned, hope laced into every word.

“And she lived happily ever after.” Y/N confirmed with a smile on her own face.

“The Prince was handsome, Y/N?” Was Irina’s next question.

“He was very handsome, babe. And he was very kind-hearted. He loved Cinderella and he never let anyone hurt her ever again.”

“He was handsomer than my daddy?” Irina stared up at y/n with wide, inquisitive eyes and Y/N’s heart sank.

Was he 'handsomer' than her daddy? Y/N looked at the curly hair on top of Irina’s head and immediately got reminded of the times she spent with Irina’s daddy’s head on her bosom while she lazily ran her fingers through his curls. She looked at Elijah and the hazel eyes he fixed on her made her remember all those nights she spent talking to his daddy about anything and everything, wrapped up in her white sheets and his strong arms. Her son looked heartbreakingly similar to his father. Irina had bits and pieces of her mother’s features in her, but Elijah almost didn’t possess any physical features from Y/N.

It was something that had made her cry overwhelmed tears when she’d first held him in her arms after bringing him into the world. Ethan was etched into every feature of her son. That fact just made pushing his memories out of her head that much more difficult. She still managed to do it though and she is proud of that fact.

“He was handsome like your daddy, sweetheart.” Y/N settled for the simple answer. She didn’t want to tell Irina that the Prince was more handsome than her father. That might have started an argument if she’d have gotten offended. Also, Y/N didn’t want to say yes to a question like that because if she was being honest with herself, there really could be no one more handsome than Ethan. Yes, there could be people just as handsome as him, but not more handsome than him.

Elijah was slowly dozing off beside Y/N and Irina had yawned twice since the story ended. They had had a long day today. It was Christmas, after all. Elijah had been the happiest little munchkin the whole day, spending his first Christmas with his father and his family. A happy Elijah meant a hyper Elijah. He had been so hyper the whole day, the poor boy had exhausted himself by the time dinner rolled around.

“Y/N?” Irina whispered, her hand came up to Y/N’s cheek and she turned the older woman’s face to look down at her. Y/N raised an eyebrow and smiled at Irina’s cute gesture. Y/N hadn’t known the little girl that long, but she noticed how Irina liked to hold people’s faces while talking to them. It was like she didn’t want the eye contact to break. She didn’t like it when people looked elsewhere while talking to her. “You are very pretty.”

Y/N’s eyes widened at those words.

“Like a princess. And I like your voice.” The little girl was smiling with her eyes and she looked exactly like her mother when she smiled. Y/N’s heart squeezed painfully at the resemblance. This little girl was adorable and she liked Y/N. If only she knew how much her mother had hated Y/N, she wouldn’t be smiling up at her with twinkling eyes.

Irina would hate her too.

Y/N was no princess.

Blinking back the tears that were slowly gathering into her eyes, Y/N cleared her throat and managed to push out a small smile. Hers wasn’t as genuine as Irina’s. Then again, she wasn’t an innocent little girl like Irina.

“Thank you, Irina. You are really pretty too.” Y/N brushed her curly hair back and kissed her forehead. “And it’s time to sleep now, okay?” Irina nodded. “If you need anything, come to my room.”

Giving a sleeping Elijah a kiss good night, Y/N slipped out of bed and covered the little kids with Elijah’s blanket. Turning the lights off, she turned for the door but halted when she found Ethan leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed at his chest and a small smile on his lips. Y/N blushed to the root of her hair. “Ethan?”

He pushed himself off the doorframe and began walking toward her. “Just wanted to say good night to the kiddos.”

Y/N nodded, stepping aside so he could get to Irina. She watched silently as he leaned down and kissed the side of Irina’s head, causing her to smile and kiss his cheek in return.

“Good night, princess.”

“Good night, Daddy!”

Ethan then walked over to Elijah’s side and gave his forehead a kiss. Y/N curled her arms around herself, the tears coming back up. She had never thought her baby boy would ever get to experience a father’s love. She didn’t think he would even get to meet Ethan. Watching Ethan with Elijah never failed to make her eyes water. Ethan was smiling down at his children, watching Irina turn to her side and throw her arm around Elijah as she closed her eyes. He thought he would break down in tears right then and there.

“I love you two.”

Feeling like an outsider watching Ethan interact with his children, Y/N quietly exited the room and decided to distract herself with cleaning up the table and doing the dishes. It worked for some time before Ethan decoded to join her there too. She didn’t even have to turn and look to know he was in the kitchen. She could sense his presence, feel his molten honey gaze on her back. Closing her eyes, she sighed.

She had spent three long years mastering the art of blocking off each and every thought of Ethan’s from her mind. When he had left her, it had felt like her whole world had stopped. She hadn’t been the woman she used to be before Ethan and she certainly was not the woman she was with Ethan. He had left and he had forever changed a part of her. It felt like he’d almost flipped the switch of emotions in her when he’d left her. The only person she loved from that day till today, was her son.

Yet, she still managed to sense his presence whenever he entered a room. She didn’t like that one bit.

Without lifting her gaze from the bowl she was cleaning, Y/N said, “Thank you.”

“For?” Ethan inquired. She had put her hair up in a bun which made her slender neck look longer from the back. Y/N had always been stunning but she somehow got even more beautiful in all these years she spent away from Ethan.

“You know what for.” Y/N turned just enough to flash him a barely there smile. It took him by surprise because although it was barely a smile, her lips had still tipped up and that was the most he had gotten from her recently. Y/N Y/L/N didn’t smile. Not at Ethan, she didn’t. Ethan dared to walk closer to her until he was standing beside her. “You didn’t have to bring Elijah back but you did.”

Y/N wasn’t close with her parents and she had no siblings so she and Elijah only had each other to celebrate Christmas with. Her baby boy never had any family besides herself in all the three years of his life because his father had left her before she even knew she was pregnant with his child. She had tried to tell Ethan about her pregnancy after she had found out but he had never picked up her calls. After giving birth to Elijah all alone, no one there to sit with her and hold her hand as she went through the worst pain of her life, Y/N had given Ethan one last call.

That one had been picked up but not by Ethan. It had been his wife on the line. The same wife he had cheated on, with her. Y/N had never called his phone ever again.

Three years later, life so cruelly brought Ethan back to her doorstep and he found out he had another child besides his precious daughter. Y/N let Ethan into her sons life because he was his father, he had the right to know his son. She didn’t want to take away Elijah’s chance of knowing his father either, so with Ethan came his extended family and Elijah finally had a big family.

He adored his uncle and aunt and, oh lord, did he love his grammy Lisa with all his heart. Today was the first Christmas Elijah was to spend with Ethan and his family and Y/N had allowed Ethan to keep him for the day.

There was no chance of Y/N tagging along for the celebrations because none of Ethan’s family liked her. Why would they? She had been the other woman in Ethan’s marriage.

The thought made her wince.

Y/N had been totally prepared to spend Christmas alone but late in the afternoon, the doorbell had rung and she had opened the door to a very hyper Elijah, a smiling Irina and Ethan wishing you a merry Christmas.

He had brought Elijah back for her but when he and Irina began to leave, Elijah started crying. He had been so happy all day, Y/N didn’t want to be the reason for his tears so she asked Ethan to stay.

And now here they were.

“I couldn’t take away your son from you on Christmas day.”

“Thank you.” She didn’t know what else to say.

Her eyes came up to his for a split second before she looked back down. Ethan wanted to take both her hands in his and place a kiss on each hand. He wanted to take her face in his hands and make her look into his eyes. He wanted to lean in and kiss her rosy lips until she smiled.

She always used to smile when he used to kiss her. Ever since she came back into his life, Ethan had barely seen her smile if she wasn’t directing it at her son. It pained him to see how hollow her eyes always looked when she wasn’t looking at her son.

He had broken something in her when he’d told her he couldn’t continue to see her because he’d gotten his wife pregnant, three years ago. He had seen the colour drain from her face that day when he’d told her he was going to mend his marriage and the first step in that direction was breaking things off with her. She hadn’t said anything then, just like she doesn’t say anything now.

Ethan wished she would let him mend her. He wanted to fix what he had broken all those years ago. He desperately wanted back the Y/N who had mended him when his strained relationship with his wife had broken him.

It’s ironic how Y/N came into his life when he was at his lowest and she helped him feel again. She offered him a shoulder to lean on when he desperately needed one, she offered him her beautiful kind smiles, her welcoming arms, her encouraging words, her heart.

It’s funny how Iris never did.

And it’s sad how he threw it all in her face and left.

“Y/N,” Ethan reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a blue velvet box. She frowned at him when he extended it to her. “Merry Christmas.”

Y/N was looking at him with confusion swimming in her eyes. It was like she couldn’t fathom why he’d get her something for Christmas. God, what had he done to her? She questioned every little thing people did for her, like she could simply not stomach the fact that people could still offer her things without asking her for something in return.

“You didn’t have to do this.” She spoke barely above a whisper and her hands remained at her sides. She didn’t once try to take the present from Ethan.

“I wanted to.” He admitted, adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed in nervousness. His cheeks were feeling hot.

“I didn’t get you anything.”

“You have given me Elijah. What gift can be more precious than that?” Ethan genuinely didn’t deserve to slide into her and Elijah’s life as easily as she let him. He had honestly thought Y/N would be difficult about him spending time with her son. She had single handedly raised him thus far, Ethan had never even known he had a child apart from Irina and it wasn’t Y/N’s fault he hadn’t known. It had been him who had ignored all her calls when she’d tried to tell him. He had thought she would just ask him to see her again, that if he got back in contact with her, she would somehow convince him to fall back into her and he couldn’t let that happen. He had promised Iris that Y/N had been a mistake and that he would never do anything to jeopardise the relationship he had with her again.

Well, Iris was now buried in St. Jude’s Cemetery and Y/N ?

It seemed like he had killed a part of the woman he had fallen in love with all those years ago.

Right now, she was staring at him with an expression he couldn’t comprehend. She looked pretty indifferent still, but those eyes held a spark in them. And then she spoke what was on her mind and Ethan’s heart shattered. “Are you giving me this as a payment for having Elijah and and raising hi-“

Ethan’s eyes widened and he instantly dropped his hand back to his side. “What?! Y/N, is this how low you think of me? I would never-I just wanted to give you a Christmas present, that was it.”

“Why though? I’m not your family? I’m not your friend? I’m basically a stranger to yo-“ There it was. That flicker of emotion in her eyes. She didn’t look indifferent anymore. She looked angry.

“A stranger?” Ethan whispered in disbelief, every word that came out of her mouth slicing a gaping wound into his heart. “After everything we’ve had-“

Ethan noticed how Y/N locked her jaw at his words and crossed her arms across her chest. A defensive stance, a brace to protect her heart.

“What have we had, Ethan? Huh?”

“Y/N.”

“I’ll tell you. We were nothing but fuck buddies.”

Ethan winced, bile rising to his throat. His fist tightened around the velvet box exactly how Y/N’s words tightened an invisible fist around his heart.

“We fucked and you used me to numb the pain your alcoholic wife caused you and when you didn’t need me anymore after her recovery, you left. Simple as that.” Y/N’s throat felt chocked up, revisiting the darkness that had started in her heart and slowly spread everywhere, both inside and out. She gave him everything she had, went against everything she had taught herself about self preservation, brought all her walls down so he could enter and ruin her. He did exactly that. “I was the other woman and women like us get exactly what I got. I got you for a few months and I dared to forget that you would always belong to your wife. You did the right thing, going back to her. You did the right thing by not leaving the woman you married for the whore you cheated on her with.”

“Stop!” Ethan saw red when she called herself a whore. She didn’t even flinch, didn’t even blink. She just stared at him with the same indifferent look in her eyes that haunted him in his dreams. Those eyes held the entire universe once. Now, there wasn’t even a flicker of light in them.

What had he done? Had he really made her feel like she deserved what she got? Did she really think herself to be a whore? Ethan couldn’t even bare to think of the word and there she was, saying it like it meant nothing.

“Ethan. You don’t have to do all this for me.” Y/N pointed to the present he’d bought her. She didn’t even see what the box held inside it, she didn’t want to. “When you said you wanted to be in Elijah’s life, I understood we’d have to see each other sometimes. I’m his mother, you’re his father, that’s the only relationship we have. You don’t have to build another one.”

Ethan just stood there, stunned into silence while Y/N just turned right back to the sync and began loading up the dishes into the dishwasher. He couldn’t believe this was the same woman who was telling bedtime stories to his kids just a few minutes ago. She was a different person around Elijah, even Irina. It was like she only turned on her emotions for the kids and the rest of the world got her ice cold glare.

He didn’t realise he had been standing beside her, looking at her like he was trying to look for traces of the old her, but he got snapped out of his train of thoughts when she cut him a cold look and announced, “I’ve prepared the guest room for you. There are blankets and pillows and two water bottles. Ask me if you need anything else, I’ll be in my room.”

In direct words, she meant to say, “Leave me the fuck alone.” So he did just that. With a heavy heart, Ethan pocketed the necklace he had bought her, feeling hurt beyond measure that she didn’t even open the box and see it. Then again, what did he expect from a woman he screwed over so bad? He stole one last glance at her, hoping to find her looking at him but she was still very much engrossed in the dishes. Ethan pressed his lips together and made his way into the guest bed room.

That’s what he was in her house. A guest.

What had he done?

#ethan dolan imagines #grayson dolan imagines #something borrowed #forgive me for this abomination #🙉

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missbecky · 4 years

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Okay, time for another long post about a cool weird thing that happened with my cards last night. I still don't know how I feel about deities, I don't know that I'll ever worship one, as that's just not me to worship. But I have felt as though there was an entity, goddess, force, something trying to reach me. Any time I've tried to glean information on who it was, I kept getting a door slammed in my face. I kept getting messages that I wasn't ready. And I was totally fine with that.

I'm unemployed right now, I'm a single mom, and I live with my disabled mother to help take care of her. With COVID-19, we don't take chances as my mom is in the high risk category. What that all means is that I've had way too much time on my hands. So I've been like a sponge, soaking up all the knowledge I can when it comes to witchcraft. Not being ready wasn't that big of a deal, because it just meant I got to do more research and keep putting off stuff I didn't really want to do.

Yesterday, I did my daily card draw, and the message was suddenly way different. Change has always been in the messages, but also the stopping in order to be ready for the changes. Yesterday morning I drew the the star, the chariot, and the hanged man reversed. I took that as a go for it.

Later that day I was prowling all the research servers, and the went to Google something about deities, and found an article/blog post someone had written about wishing people would stop using a very specific tarot spread for deity identification. Naturally, I decide to do that very spread. It was a five card spread, I wrote down what I wanted to know, and started shuffling. I shuffled for what felt like forever, and then when I laid the cards out, without thinking, I laid out 7. At first I was going to put the last two back, but decided to leave them. And the cards were all over the place. But I looked at it, and thought, "whoa, whoever this is, is not messing around.

So this is what I laid out.

Before I get into breaking down what these cards meant and how each one directly correlates to one specific deity, I want to point out where my head was at going into this.

I basically really actually got started with everything like 2 weeks ago. I'm basically still a newborn, right? Anyway, as soon as I start researching, I keep getting drawn to Deities. That's weird because I'm an agnostic and basically have no interest in higher powers. If they're there cool, if not cool. I have always believed that if there is some kind of being that could mold and shape the world, then my puny human brain can't comprehend them anyway, and it's really none of my concern. So, it's been really strange that this repeatedly keeps sticking out for me. I get the distinct impression that whatever energy is reaching out to me is female, a tie to the moon, the feeling of 3 was there, I knew it had to be associated with motherhood, and just a general overall feel of the empowerment of women. Naturally, I just kind of assumed Hecate, but that never actually felt correct to me.

So the 3 of cups being the first card just kind of reinforced the sense of 3 to me, and the whole sisterhood aspects of women empowering women. I wrote down 3, sisterhood, and good times. In the spread that was supposed to be 5 cards (and I did 7), the first card was supposed to sum up who the deity was.

I love my tarot deck for the strength card the most, I think. Strength is a mama bear. Again, this confirms my feeling of being tied to motherhood. The second card was supposed to represent the deities weakness. I wrote mama bear, power, and overly protective.

The third card was the chariot, and according to the spread this was their strength, their power. I wrote down action, strength, determination, will-power.

Then I get to the 4th card, the lovers. This is supposed to be what they rule. This one had me scratching my head. Now the author said this one will be harder to figure out, because the deities could even try to be snarky with this. I didn't even know what to do with this card, but like it made sense later. As I was going through each card individually, however, I came up with nothing, and in turn wrote nothing.

Card 5 was to be their symbol or association, and I had drawn 7 card. Anyway, I began analyzing the reversed hierophant, and the reversed 2 of cups. By that point I'm feeling personally attacked. And then the King of swords felt like a slap in the face. Words like logical, smart, level headed came up, which is honestly the person I've always prided myself on being. What was that person doing trying to contact a deity? I basically had to stop and ask myself wtf I was doing.

Like all shadow work, I decided to go browse the internet to distract myself from having to think about it too much. So I start googling triple Goddess and love, even though the lovers definitely didn't feel right, I'm like what the hell? Why not? Hecate and Diana come up, well that's not right. So I decide to take away the triple deciding I could just be way off base with the whole 3 thing. So I Google goddess of female empowerment and found a list of badass goddesses, and Artemis stuck out to me. But I'm like, no, that can't be right. This peace loving hippie couldn't possibly identify with the goddess of the hunt (which was the extent of my knowledge about Artemis). I then Google goddess of sisterhood, envisioning a woman running with a girl gang fucking shit up. What the fuck do you know, but that is Artemis.

After that Google search, I decide I clearly don't know enough about Artemis, and had recently downloaded some Greek mythology books, have never had the slightest interest in Greek mythology, but I saved them in my Google drive just in case. After finding out a bit about Artemis from Google, I turned to the digital books I had.

It was crazy how each of the cards began actually tying into the mythology of Artemis. She traveled with like a gang of nymphs, which I'm sure there was some sisterhood there. She helped her mother deliver her twin brother, and became like the patron God of childbirth. She defended babies and Young girls. She only ever wanted to belong to herself and so she requested everlasting virginity. From what I read she was very protective, straight up murdered rapists, and she was strong to a fault, which made sense why the strength card was listed as weakness. Apollo challenged her to hit a target way out in the ocean that she couldn't see, telling her she couldn't do it, she did it to prove she could and there was no better sharpshooter than her. The target was Orion, the only person she ever loved. So the reversed two of cards made sense. The reversed hierophant made sense because she was not traditional, she went against the grain. Her story is far from ordinary, even by mythological standards. She was a straight up badass that lived life on her terms and no one else's. There's nothing more rebellious than a woman with such control of her own life and destiny. And of course the chariot would be her strength identification, she was nothing but action oriented. The lovers could be interpreted several ways, but I take it as a woman who loves herself so fiercely she had no need for any other kind. But also when I think of love, I don't think of romantic love, I think of the bond i share with my daughter. She fiercely loved her brother, and maybe because she helped with his birth it connected her to him similar to that of a mother and child? That of course speculation. But the lovers card could also be a jab at her eternal virginity. And the King of swords sounded exactly like Artemis.

So I'm convinced this spread is talking about Artemis, but I can't shake the aspect of 3. Can't let that one go. Don't know why. So I'm looking through the l The Greek Myths by Robert Graves, and in it he speculated that Artemis was in fact a triad/triple Goddess!!!

Needless to say, I lost my fucking shit after reading that one. I was right in what I felt about what traits I felt the energy having, and the fucking spread related with every gd card.

Oh, and apparently Artemis chose to spend most of her time in the mountains. One of my favorite thing in all of the things is the mountains of Colorado, second only to my daughter, and I even identify as connected with earth elements the most because of my love for mountains. Makes me wonder how long Artemis has been trying to get my attention 😉

Anyway, I don't know what this all means to me personally yet. I've been ridiculously drained today, it's already 11 pm, and I only just now felt like I had enough energy and focus to write this out. So haven't had much time to sit with everything I experienced and felt last night.

However, it was very exciting! And I had to share my experience!

#witchcraft #witch community #tarot #witchblr #magick #Artemis #deity #deity work

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yesiknowimgoingtoburninhell · 5 years

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Chapa sketches. I haven't drawn my baby girl in forever.

#ok ko #ok ko oc #chapa #ok ko let's be heroes #ok ko let's be heroes oc #ok ko chapa #my art #sketches #ok ko fink

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Ava & James

Ava: It's probably a lost cause Ava: but I lost my bracelet when we went out Ava: I remember having it in the first club but not after that Ava: If you're in the 2nd again, could you ask? Ava: No doubt it's long gone but James: I'll ring, I know the owner James: but I'll need a description, I don't remember what it looks like Ava: Thanks Ava: [sends picture like oh hey remember this face] James: [a long enough pause for him to have been trying to find this bracelet everywhere and she probably thinks he's fucked off] James: sorry, no joy Ava: Oh, no worries Ava: Cheers anyway, like James: did you go anywhere after? James: you could've had it on longer than you think Ava: I've already rang Kings, in case I left it in the dorm or something but no luck there either James: none with uber either James: kept me on hold for ages to let me know they don't have it Ava: Ugh, sorry Ava: Don't worry any more on it, it isn't sentimental or anything like that James: it was kind of a helping hand honestly, youngest liked the music they played, a very impromptu lullaby from an unexpected source Ava: Well, who knew hold music was good for anything but rage quits Ava: Unless they're now having a really angry nap James: 😂 James: that'll more likely be me later Ava: If you're lucky, yeah? James: if it hasn't run out Ava: Surely not James: they've both got some kind of hangover detector James: I'm sure you can imagine Ava: I've spent enough time with my nephew to know Ava: No sympathy from a toddler James: indeed Ava: Look, I don't know if I should even bring it back up but I'm sorry for how things went down that night James: I don't get caught up in regrets, remember Ava: I remember Ava: But I didn't Ava: I don't have bad intentions or anything, that's not me James: you've not struck me as someone who does Ava: How do I strike you? James: It was agreed I'd need longer than an evening to answer that Ava: I suppose Ava: First impressions can still be a thing James: it was a good first impression Ava: I'm glad James: but you're also sorry? Ava: I can't be both? James: you can Ava: So, you aren't sorry Ava: but are you glad? James: I can't be Ava: Yeah Ava: that's why I can't not be sorry James: It's me who should be sorry Ava: That's up to you Ava: if you don't do regrets you don't James: my actions don't only affect me Ava: I know Ava: Well, you won't get any trouble from me, like I said, not about that James: there's a line drawn under it James: you won't get any from me either James: [lies because you know he's bought her a replacement bracelet so she'll literally get that like the next day, boy we see you okay] Ava: Okay James: it was fun while it lasted, don't beat yourself up any harder James: the big glasses were cute but you shouldn't have to keep them on indefinitely Ava: Jesus Ava: Don't you know you're meant to pretend you didn't see that James: but walking around with your eyes & mouth closed all the time is very exhausting & I haven't had my nap yet Ava: I also have no sympathy for you, idiot James: I think you have some, but I don't blame you for not wanting to give it to me Ava: Nope, none Ava: I promise Ava: no space in my head James: oh Ava James: you have my sympathies, in that case Ava: Don't James: you don't want them? Ava: Let's say I don't do sympathies James: understood James: they are easy to get weighed down in Ava: and so rarely sincere James: it's reminiscent of wearing wet clothes, people only really want you to take them off in order to spare themselves the puddles James: they ask you if you're cold but they care about their floors Ava: Exactly Ava: and floors are more important 'round here Ava: and anything resembling sincerity is as unsightly as a damp mark on your new carpet James: the content I'll require for my English degree is writing itself Ava: Is that what you want to do, really? James: it's a question that'll get answered as often as it's asked Ava: How often do you get told what you want then James: daily at least Ava: How often does it come close James: it has yet to Ava: Oh James James: you don't do sympathies James: please never change on my account Ava: It could be empathy James: but is it? Ava: We'd need another night James: how many more bracelets have you got to lose? Ava: 😂 Ava: What kind of Chelsea girl do you take me for? James: you heard me say it was a good first impression Ava: 😏 I'd take a bow but can't risk losing any more jewels today James: we'll pretend you really did Ava: If that's what you're into, II James: what kind of Kensington boy do you take me for? Ava: Won't be the first to have a #scandal James: no trouble, need I remind you Ava: Just hypothetical, obviously James: you just hypothetically wanna know what I'm into? Ava: I just hypothetically hit the nail on the head James: if that's what you think, Ava Ava: Go on then Ava: Are you even gonna hypothetically tell the truth though? James: where's a hypothetical lie getting me? Ava: Away from hypothetical shame if it's weird shit Ava: I'm not one for hypothetical judgment though James: I'm not one for hypothetical shame Ava: Soooo Ava: 👀 James: I don't know, truthfully James: I'd need a whole hypothetical life, I suppose Ava: Fair Ava: It's a pretty bait question anyway James: you have an answer though, I can tell Ava: Singular? Ava: How rude James: 😂 James: because one leads to another not because you're hypothetically uninteresting Ava: Yeah, that's right Ava: about to be so hypothetically fuming James: you can have as many hypothetical apologies as you have interests, okay? Ava: No need to change on my behalf, however hypothetical James: what makes you think a personality change would be required Ava: Apologies are awful close to regret James: I'm not saying them to myself Ava: Try it out then Ava: See if I'm into it James: I'm really sorry I had to leave Ava: Me too Ava: but I don't think I'm about it, so you don't need to mention it again James: if you don't want me to, I won't Ava: I figure you owe enough sorries to more important people Ava: I'm good, honest James: I'm happy to hear it James: & not looking to mess anything up for you, hypothetically or actually Ava: I know Ava: You haven't Ava: it isn't my business so you know, no obligation to answer Ava: but why did you get married so young? James: because I had a baby to raise that young Ava: Yeah James: I wanted to do something that would actually help, at least shut up our parents because there was no silencing all the horrible things everyone else was saying James: It wasn't fair to treat her suddenly like public enemy number 1, not for that Ava: That makes sense Ava: I can see the logic James: It was a mistake we both made, I couldn't just leave her to it James: but I don't know, maybe we'd have both been better off if we'd approached it differently James: as parents but not a couple Ava: Well, it isn't permanent Ava: You can still do that Ava: Co-parent, that's not leaving her to it James: She won't let that happen Ava: It won't be easy Ava: It's weighing up if the now is worse than how invariably shit divorce is James: every time I try to leave I'm not allowed to see or speak to them until I go back James: she gets everyone on her side, including my parents Ava: If you go through official avenues, she won't just be able to do that Ava: She can't say you're unfit because you're not Ava: That's so shit and Ava: not right James: but she'll get my daughter to say that she hates me & doesn't wanna see me by telling her that's what I'm saying, I know she'll turn them both against me long before anything gets officially sorted out James: last time I walked out she told Jay so many things that aren't true Ava: She'd say that to a kid? Ava: Her kid? Ava: what's wrong with her James: I've given up trying to figure out everything that is Ava: You can't do this forever Ava: You deserve better Ava: you don't get to fuck someone over because you have a kid with them, imagine it reversed, how much of a bad guy you'd be then, it's no different just because she's the mum James: I'll send them both away to school when they're older, but for now I have to do this Ava: How do you do it Ava: How have you lasted this long, never mind how long that will be James: I see my children every day, it makes everything else bearable James: & I know they need that Ava: Yeah Ava: They're the most important thing Ava: but you matter as well, you can't Ava: I don't know James: for better or worse, right? Ava: You don't get to pick one each though, like James: I made my bed, Ava James: everyone told me not to marry her but I did Ava: 'cos you thought it was the right thing Ava: it shouldn't function as a lifelong punishment James: I never thought it was right James: I just wanted to be a better dad than I've got James: & that was the only way she'd let me Ava: That's a good reason Ava: even if it turned out not to be the best idea James: bad ideas have been around longer than she has James: I can't remember when I last had a good one James: I'd have been younger than you Ava: It's hard to make them when you have to commit to the worst, like Ava: you've gotta do something for you Ava: just 'cos you wanna Ava: or you'll lose it James: I will if you'll meet me for coffee James: I wanna see you again Ava: Okay Ava: I'd like to see you too James: tomorrow? Ava: I can do that Ava: What time, I have lunch at 1 or I can do after 5 James: lunch works Ava: Cool Ava: Looking forward to it James: I am too Ava: 😊 James: [when you're gonna have to go so far away for your date so you don't get spotted lol] Ava: [honestly should defs say its a school day so you ain't getting back for afternoon classes but that's not so wild anyone is like hello??? but start the sneaking as you mean to go on] James: [literally gonna spend half her lunch break on-route in the car cos London so we gotta but at least we can say it's an uber mood again so he's not driving] Ava: [I'll do some before 'cos like is he gonna show nerves] Ava: We still on for lunch time? James: nothing else has come up Ava: 👍 Ava: I'll book my ride James: I'll pick you up Ava: Are you sure? James: sure that we don't need 2 separate ubers going to the same place? yes Ava: fair point Ava: but I'll definitely get the coffees then James: no you won't Ava: The post came before I left this morning Ava: you really didn't have to do that Ava: but you did, so I can definitely get you a latte or whatever your particular shade of coffee is James: I didn't want leave you bracelet-less & me close to having a regret James: so I kind of did have to Ava: Well, when you put it like that Ava: thank you, it was one of my favourites actually Ava: didn't wanna push for that regret too hard though James: now you won't have to Ava: The coffee being bitter over the company definitely sounds like a better plan James: you don't have to order coffee, you know Ava: I'll probably get an iced drink of some description Ava: ☀🥵 James: too much sunbathing between classes? Ava: 😏 Ava: I'm sure the dons would say any is too much Ava: but I'm still pretty pale James: I'm correcting that to still pretty Ava: Gonna look like a 🍅 now James: who doesn't like 🍅? James: bloody marys are fantastic for one Ava: Now I know you have good taste James: in drinks at least Ava: and 🍅s thank you James: potentially everything but wives & uni courses Ava: Don't make me laugh because it's definitely not funny James: but hypothetically how smitten would I be if you did laugh? Ava: Oh, head over heels, of course Ava: like 👼s singing James: I thought so Ava: Don't wanna hypothetically disappoint James: it's not even hypothetically possible Ava: Your level of hypothetical trust is cute James: your level of hypothetical modesty is unnecessary Ava: Fine, but it's your fault when I don't fit my hypothetical hat James: I'll buy you a bigger one James: hypothetically Ava: You going to hypothetically redress me piece by piece? James: I'm not falling into the trap of you thinking I'm saying I need to James: there's nothing wrong with how you dress Ava: I'm not even hypothetically that sly Ava: Straightforward and to the point, yeah? James: it's what I like about you Ava: You're pretty good at it yourself James: game playing has never got me anywhere I want to be Ava: Games rely too much on chance and luck for my liking Ava: someone has to lose James: precisely James: as much as I'd potentially hate losing to you less than I would to lots of other people, it's still better as a hypothetical Ava: No games, I promise James: I'm taking that to also mean no more pool at the vault & you can't stop me Ava: 😱 Ava: You're really going to make me enroll just to get back in that VIP venue? Ava: Rude James: 😂 James: seeing you every day would be fun but putting fun ahead of all things academic gets you where I currently am in life James: I can't do that to you, even hypothetically Ava: You can hypothetically follow me for your next course Ava: I'm a great study buddy James: unless you're going abroad somewhere to study Ava: Unless you count SE as abroad Ava: lord knows many of our peers do 🙄 James: in that case, following you sounds close to a good idea Ava: 🤏 Ava: I'll find a way to hypothetically swing it Ava: the world needs your writing, II James: I've never been more devastated to have a job waiting for me that isn't strictly hypothetical Ava: I's doing, I suppose Ava: What are you going do instead of write your great novel about me? James: you'll have to look out for my self published works written by night under an obvious pseudonym Ava: I will Ava: Will you sign my copy? James: of course James: under your printed dedication Ava: I'll have to think of an excellent pseudonym myself James: can you do 1 other, simpler thing for me before then? Ava: I'm sure I can? James: order for me something you like James: I don't know what I want Ava: I like a challenge Ava: Okay James: do you want me to tell you if I don't share the liking of it or not? Ava: 'Course Ava: 'cos I need to find you something you do like James: if time doesn't run out Ava: We can have more lunches too Ava: as well as evenings James: that'd be good James: I'd hate to only see you in the dark Ava: That's mutual James: if I wrote us meeting exclusively at night everyone would assume I'd decided on a vampire novel James: so I'm happy to hear it Ava: I think its making a comeback Ava: and I'd definitely buy you as an Edward Cullen type James: I have no clue if I should be flattered or offended Ava: A potentially complex issue, a complex character beyond the sparkles Ava: I just meant you'd be eligible for dreamboat status James: you're saying I should make a detour to buy the book or download the film to my phone right now or I shouldn't? Ava: Will we have time to watch it together is the real question Ava: Because I have to pop your 🍒 James: is it a 90 minutes is all you need kind of film or 3 hours of lingering close ups? Ava: 126 James: I can do that Ava: Yeah? James: skipping a lecture I have no desire to be in to further my hypothetical masterpiece of a novel in the early stages of its development, that's a fantastic idea Ava: 💡 Ava: Was bound to have one eventually Ava: Let's do it then James: you're claiming not to have had any before now? Ava: In my life, obviously Ava: but with you? 'close to a good idea' is as close as I've got so far James: I won't deny you the opportunity to get closer then Ava: Thank you Ava: You can find out if it's only hypothetical that I'm unable to disappoint James: I feel like I already know that Ava: You've had a taste Ava: but you can have more Ava: if you want it James: I do Ava: Okay Ava: Good James: but it's never going to be as simple as words like okay or good Ava: It could be Ava: I'm not saying all the time Ava: or even that we can always give 126 minutes to it Ava: but whatever we can James: you can't say all the time because I can't ever give you all the time James: I can't give you any more gifts or regular dates or even selfies Ava: I know that Ava: I'm not asking for any of that James: but you should James: because you're free to do whatever you want with whoever you want Ava: Exactly James: why this? Ava: because you need somebody Ava: and I like you James: oh Ava Ava: It is as simple as that James: I'll try that out, see if I can believe it Ava: I know nothing else is but Ava: why not Ava: I want to and you don't need to buy that or promise time you haven't got James: for as long as you want to then Ava: for as long as you need me then James: no because James: my life isn't going to change Ava: James James: you don't know what she's like but I know everything she's ever done or is likely to do Ava: People like that don't stop, I know that Ava: they have to be stopped James: there's no stopping her Ava: Well there's no stopping me either and I'm on your side James: you don't need this Ava: I told you, I like you Ava: I won't just turn my back on you James: I can have this car turned around, you don't have to do anything Ava: Of course I don't have to Ava: and neither do you, not with me Ava: you don't owe me anything, I'm just telling you how it is for me Ava: and I want to see you James: I want to see you too, more than when I originally said it Ava: Good Ava: Then don't turn around, yeah? James: I always do the wrong thing, I don't want to, to you James: so if you don't want me to turn around, I won't Ava: I want you to do what you want, that's all Ava: even if that was turning around, which, undeniably, would be shit but I'd survive Ava: but you wanna come, I'm almost 100% James: understood Ava: Okay Ava: I've got a great urge to tell you I'm not insane but that makes me sound more so so I'll just Ava: 😶 James: you haven't once struck me as being & I have some experience, as it were Ava: That's alright then Ava: It's a comparison I don't need, you either, I'm sure James: just don't insist I marry you & it won't ever need to be made Ava: Easy Ava: Got my word James: if only I had your skill at losing jewellery Ava: It is a talent, definitely; but unteachable? Nah James: now you've got a great urge to teach me something James: okay Ava: So many whims, only so much time Ava: Lucky I'm an excellent teacher James: very novel protagonist-esque, honestly James: you're earning your page space Ava: If fictional me gets slated as dull I'll have to change my pseudonym and run away James: you couldn't be hypothetically dull if you actually tried James: never mind close to anything else Ava: You always know just what to say yet I still believe it sincere James: it is sincere James: from the kings head shaving horror stories until now Ava: I'm confident believing it, and you Ava: because boys who always know what to say always say the wrong things James: maybe 126 minutes later I will have Ava: That's okay Ava: a mix of right and wrong Ava: that's real Ava: anything other and you're definitely up to something Ava: 😇 or 😈 either way James: I gave you a real tour the moment you asked for it, that's 😇 Ava: It felt it James: I'm not going to leave in the middle this time James: strictly end credits Ava: Don't promise Ava: that's practically begging fate James: well that's the last thing I want, my lips are sealed Ava: Your lips are Ava: 😈 James: if that means yours have to be described as 😇 I'm fine with it Ava: See? Ava: You're too good with words James: they're a very prominent feature, I couldn't help but notice Ava: I like that you notice Ava: Do it some more James: because I'm not sure I could stop if you didn't like it, it's a relief that you do Ava: Don't stop Ava: then I don't have to either James: very fair Ava: 😇 James: how far can we push that angelic streak to one side because I'm here early James: can you leave? Ava: Lessons are barely real at this point in the summer term and it isn't as if I've been paying any attention all day so Ava: Give me 10 to 'fake' needing to go lie down James: I'm not having any PTSD symptoms from being here quite yet James: take as long as you require Ava: Honestly Ava: Least it is undeniably too hot for the blazer so I won't trigger you into leaving without me James: I'm undeniably sure the way you wear it wouldn't make me wanna leave Ava: God, you are so distracting and fully aware what you're doing to me right now James: in 10 minutes, or preferably less, you'll have a car to lie down in should you suddenly really need to James: meaning I regret nothing Ava: Bad man Ava: The blush is admittedly helping my case here James: I'm not gonna lie & say if you aren't still wearing that I'll go without you but James: I do want to see it Ava: I'd say there's 0% chance of you not seeing it and a full 100% of me being unable to hide it James: 🍅 right, of course Ava: The dangers of being pale Ava: why I need this tan Ava: obviously James: how far does it go? is 😳 going to colour in your tan lines like a modern art piece James: if so that's a must for my book cover Ava: Well now we have to see how inspiring you find it Ava: even if you can't take any 📸 James: physically no, but mentally I'll take so many Ava: You're too pretty for photographs anyway Ava: you don't even look real in person James: how can you say that about another person when you look like you belong on a chapel ceiling or somewhere equally beautifully crafted? Ava: I Ava: I'm just Ava: on my way James: you can't miss me, the engine's on & the song choices are questionable James: it's very low profile Ava: Got to get the driver onboard, for future 126s James: I'll ask him if he has any knowledge of the Twilight soundtrack Ava: 😂 Ava: It goes hard, FYI James: he looked at me like he's a believer about that James: absolute Ava: Then we won't have to invite him to our viewing party Ava: Thank God James: it'd be taking politeness to new heights James: he is going to play it for us though Ava: I'm gonna tip him so hard James: It's taken care of by me James: you've agreed to hypothetically buy out everything in this coffee place in search of something I'll enjoy so Ava: Okay Ava: so if you're being polite then can I be slightly 😒 at his presence 'cos I really need to be alone with you right now? James: it's a reasonable request James: more so than the one I'd like to ask of you Ava: Go on Ava: There's clearly room and time for the unreasonable James: Ava, I hear how much you don't want to waste any of the borrowed time we're basically forced to be on, but can you please walk slowly for my mental picture gallery Ava: [Does, obviously] James: [😍 clearly as the twilight soundtrack begins to blast from this vehicle so casually] Ava: [and what a mental image that is, doing a mini run at the end 'cos excitement and nerves] James: [it's fine cos we all know he'd have to resist the urge to lowkey drag her into the car despite what he said, looking like you're getting snatched from the school gates lol] Ava: [thank God your teachers are useless and we can but hope there's no window some kid is staring that hard out] James: [just staring at her taking all those mental 📷s again though as soon as she's in] Ava: [the blush is so real and she knows it] James: [if she's blushing already wait until the kiss he initiates because obvs it'd be as hardcore as their first one but like it'd be so much more intense not only cos he wants her more but also because he wants more time to do this now. Everything would be so slow and deliberate like he's gotta savour every possible way he can kiss her and every possible tiny reaction each thing he does has] Ava: [well enjoy boy because she will be dying in all the ways like there's no hiding from the casual anticipation that has built up here] James: [they both just die there and then #plot twist] Ava: [or this driver reports you 'cos you've just picked up someone from school and started getting it on lmao, luckily you not being paid to think so shh] James: [oh my god imagine, please just drive and groove to the epic bops thank you sir] Ava: [she's 17 now we're so fine lollol] James: [he does not know that but I hope James does] Ava: [he's done a stalk, her bday wasn't that long ago in the feed] James: [true, I hope you had an epic bday babe] Ava: [no doubt baby, so we've got a pretty good plan of their afternoon plans, is there anything else we wanna say went down?] James: [good question, realistically they'd probably run out of time but also I am highkey so I'm like give them forever lol] Ava: [I assume he usually picks Jay up from School 'cos unless Chloe wanna turnt up at the gates why would she, so that'd be 3.30 say so they've got from 1ish, Chloe would still have the baby and thinks he's in class so we do have a fair whack of time] James: [not gonna let you waste all of that trying everything on a coffee shop menu, don't worry guys] Ava: [although a moment you need all the moments] James: [gotta find him something he genuinely likes cos his missus be ordering for him everywhere they go] Ava: [oat milk flat white] James: [chin chin gals] Ava: [But yeah I don't think we need a Chloe interruption this time 'cos he'll have a time he has to go anyway so suck it bitch] James: [there will be plenty of opportunities to do more of them anyway] Ava: [when your wife is controlling and crazy] Ava: [I was thinking for when we get the whole 'I don't think Jay is his' moment rolling, maybe if she finds out he's cheating again or whatever she does the typical 'she ain't even yours!' and maybe she's done it before so James just thinks she's bullshitting 'cos she's crazy but Ava is like hmm shall we like explore that though 'cos it's not 'neither of them are yours' it's always just Jay] James: [that is actually perfect though] Ava: ['cos it can escalate when she inevitably finds out it's Ava 'cos sleuthing or maybe at some point they wanna be out 'cos fuck it and she's taking it way more personal than any other girl and it's like why though so then the Buster link can come out even if she accidentally drops it 'cos so mad] James: [we all know Chloe is that bitch 100%] Ava: [🙌] James: [do we wanna do any more convo like once he had to leave or shall we post it and move on] Ava: [I'll do a lil bit 'cos straightforward, highkey and cute tbh] James: [allowing it] Ava: I hope I didn't make you late at all Ava: and that your girls like the Twilight soundtrack James: if they don't they've inherited their mother's bad taste & they've got bigger problems ahead than me being a few minutes late Ava: Obviously Ava: but I'm just saying, don't be too disappointed, no one can like it as much as you 😏 James: I don't believe that you don't like it as much as me Ava: It is more than just a hypothetical that I enjoyed myself Ava: soundtrack included but not my favourite part James: I couldn't possibly be disappointed by anything else knowing that Ava: Disappointment is not in my vocabulary right now James: you won't need to add it back in on my behalf Ava: I believe that James: when can I see you again? Ava: You tell me Ava: There are four more films James: 4? Ava: They split the last book into two, such a gimmick but you know James: I promise not to do that when I write yours Ava: Well, if I get to play myself maybe I won't mind the exposure 🤔 James: I'm not sure that I want to play myself James: in which case I would mind the increased screentime you'd then have with whoever does Ava: There's no finding anyone else with eyes as blue as yours Ava: Gonna blow the special effects budget James: 😂 Ava: I'm so serious Ava: and jealous James: I'll describe your eyes as bluer & your skin as more tan, if you like Ava: I like your candor, remember Ava: More than I'd like to be remembered as tanned and having the bluest eyes James: I'd like to remember you exactly as you are Ava: Don't say we have to leave it that long to see each other again James: not quite Ava: My parents have a 4-day business trip Fri-Mon, you could come over at some point then? James: the weekend is not going to happen but I can make Monday work James: Friday possibly Ava: Okay Ava: Not quite coffee shop level but we've got all sorts for you to try out James: you sounded like your brother then, almost James: not that he's ever propositioned me in exactly the same way Ava: Awkward Ava: I'll try and avoid that then😬😂 James: awkward will be if your parents haven't decorated since I was last there Ava: Thankfully they have Ava: and I haven't insisted on taking his room James: or your sister's? Ava: Spent loads of time in there too? Ava: no, I've got my own room James: not with her, obviously James: but you know how parties tend to overspill into every room Ava: 'Course James: are you going to have one? Ava: Undecided Ava: I'll have some people over at the weekend but it might be pretty chill James: is Teddy included in the some people? Ava: I don't know Ava: Would you like him not to be or? James: I don't know Ava: I get that it could be weird Ava: It's strange thinking how close you used to be with Buster James: but that was basically another life James: for me & for him Ava: Yeah Ava: well, I don't have to invite him, like I said, I don't even know what I fancy doing yet James: it's up to you Ava: I know Ava: It's James: it's not my business, Ava James: I shouldn't have asked Ava: No Ava: It's not not Ava: I know things are complex but I don't feel bad for her, you know Ava: I don't feel bad for doing it James: me either but not only because of the no regrets thing Ava: So it just feels weird to feel like guilty or something around your brother when I'm not Ava: He doesn't need to know and won't but it doesn't need to be any weirder than it would be if I dated any of my friend's siblings under more 'normal' circumstances James: understood Ava: Yeah? Ava: It's hard to explain James: I'm following it Ava: Not saying we are dating or Ava: you know James: I can't have a girlfriend, but if I could Ava: Really James: you'd be a good choice Ava: but I ain't James: why not? Ava: I don't know Ava: never mind James: Ava Ava: Ignore me, I don't know what I mean Ava: It's not important James: I don't want to ignore you Ava: Okay Ava: but we can talk about other things James: any topic you want Ava: Hmm Ava: Tempting but vague James: I assumed you'd prefer it over boring & specific Ava: A fair assumption Ava: What are you doing tonight though, ell me about your boring and specific James: I can't pinpoint specific dad duties as such, not with these two James: I could be gluing a doll house back together or walking an imaginary dog Ava: A handyman and a dogwalker Ava: either way, never a dull moment James: & that's without factoring in the possibility I could be dragged to a dinner party or subjected to guests arriving expecting champagne & nibbles with no prior knowledge or warning James: on any night James: how are you spending yours? Ava: Of course Ava: Expect no less from this town's leading socialite Ava: I've been summoned to a catch-up and 'homework' sesh as I didn't get back for last period Ava: the amount of messages, assumedly missed the second coming 🤷 James: I'm surprised you're not assumed to be too 'sick' to go James: maybe you shouldn't play yourself in my film either Ava: 😧 Ava: Um rude Ava: Maybe you need to try harder to make me 🍅 James: starting Friday or starting now? James: because how I would in person is not what I'm going to be able to do here Ava: Admittedly both sound intriguing James: so let's do both James: [sends her some kind of 💣🔥 sext because words are all they have as we all know what'll happen if you start sending pics, then she will and it's a whole dangerous thing] Ava: Oh Ava: and I was trying to avoid the cliche of telling you I missed you already James: there's no need to dismiss every cliche off hand James: some of them are good Ava: Some of them are very good Ava: remember when you write your book James: you'll remind me, right? James: I think we can assume too that writer's block isn't one of the enjoyable cliches Ava: I'll do my best Ava: Some protagonist I'd be otherwise James: very fair James: I'll do mine, in turn Ava: I have every faith in your way with words Ava: You've not gone wrong there yet James: [sends her another text because why not obvs, not like you're a busy man with a fam having an affair or anything] Ava: [God bless the multitask] Ava: James James: yes? Ava: It's going to be a really hard wait 'til Monday James: I'll fit you in Friday James: even if it's only an hour Ava: If you're gonna make it sound like a dentist appointment 😏 James: not the most original excuse but it'd still get you out of school Ava: Cheek 😂 Ava: My excuses are A* James: I don't doubt it James: but I don't want to find out by having you use any on me Ava: Just for you James: okay James: there's no excuses needed to keep posting selfies, is there? so I'll see you every day until Friday actually Ava: Of course Ava: Be dead suspect if I didn't tbh Ava: Can you post one? Ava: Even if you're in the background fulfilling whatever role is required at that precise moment James: for you, I will Ava: 😊 James: look out for it Ava: No.1 fan right here James: you're joking but you're not wrong Ava: Am I? 👀🤔 James: aren't you? Ava: I'll never tell Ava: Got to keep some mystery or who's gonna want to turn the page James: oh you want a mystery at the heart of this James: I see Ava: Does that not gel with your plan for the plot? James: I'll incorporate it after a quick brainstorm Ava: Hot James: 😈 Ava: Mhmm James: you're hot, I'm just lucky Ava: How so? James: to get to spend any time with you Ava: Oh please Ava: You're very good company James: most people are capable of being for a few hours Ava: Who do you know? Ava: Have to introduce me 😏 James: 😂 do you mind if I don't? Ava: I think I'll manage James: I'm happy to hear it Ava: For now, I need to be filled in on the gossip Ava: tell you if any of it is story-worthy James: do your work too please James: I'd like to follow you to a good uni Ava: Are you telling me what to do now? Ava: Don't hate that James: it's a nicely worded suggestion for now Ava: Noted 😇 James: you're going to be good then? Ava: I promised I'd be no trouble James: I know you did Ava: And I'll try really, really hard to keep that promise Ava: even if you make that difficult James: I'm trying really hard not to get in the car & come find you James: I don't think I have to tell you how difficult that is Ava: Damn responsibilities Ava: We can have all Monday though Ava: think about that when it gets tough Ava: I will James: I am Ava: 💙

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