#havent done one of these since like what 2018??

[wantitmore]

.

#managed to access my twidder from 2017 when id met this one guy and we havent talked since 2018 lol. #and he was still following me even tho that account has like 3 tweets lmao #anyway i searched his profile and he's apparently a lowkey lewis fan? #has the most sane takes about placeyear race. i think he likes mclaren more now? #and he's in japan doing photography #i think ive blocked him from my insta yrs ago for some reason i dont remember now but idk it always surprises me how much of a person #i have missed. what else did he like. talk about. what else did he feel? what kind of world was i living at to miss these details? #anyway feeling sentimental bc i literally met him at that stage of my life when i was just changing n he opened me up to a lot of things #like after everything is said and done he changed my life so. i guess that's life.

[charbles]

In your AU who is your all time favorite and why?

Anon, I've been thinking about this for hours, I'm NOT joking, This au has been around since 2018, its a very special thing to me, its gotten me personally through ALOT of shit, and its one of Me and Ricks (@galacticaldisaster) first au's/rewrites we've EVER done together, this au short is SO SO important to me which is why its SO HARD just to choose one character, you feel me? On top of that Rick and I try to implement literally EVERYONE into this au, we Cherry-pick from books, we include EVERYONE from AR, there are GENUINELY so many options!

My favorites bounce around alot due to whoever i'm focusing on developing and the likes but i think i've got a solid tie for #1! and ive got reasons for why its a tie :]!

Chris is my favorite out of all of the characters i've written purely because he makes me very sad, I think i did the best job writing him as a character, hes balanced in the sense that hes a heartbreaking character and yet i think he stays child-like in essence, hes got reason for what he does but he goes about it like a 6 year old would, a very scared 6 year old

Which brings me to my second favorite of all of the characters, Richie. Richie is this au's FNAF 3 Phone dude, I havent really talked about Richie too much, besides the mention from last night. But richie will ALWAYS be on top, mostly because he is the very first character i wrote for this au, WAAAYYY back when i was 15, the very first picture i EVER drew of this au was of Richie Scott, Age 17, Threatening to hit someone with a lightning mcqueen Croc. Richie and Phillip's (@galacticaldisaster s phone guy) whole concept came from a game of Garrys Mod where we were being little idiots and beating the shit out of eachother with fnaf character models! I also just think Richies silly :]

Legally i DO have to give you all my favorite of Ricks characters;

You all obviously know springtrap/william, absolute motherfucker, but RICK. RICK HAS THE AUDACITY, THE G A L L to both turn him into the saddest dad you've EVER met, and the scariest and i mean, SCARIEST William ive ever read. seriously, dudes believe me, Rick's writing for his devolve from a dad/ business man to murderous deranged killer is GENUINELY my favorite, I've seen alot of interps of william, and maybe im a bit biased, But Ricks is my favorite.

Now Phillip is in the same vein of Richie, hes the phone guy and was made during a game of Gmod via rambling, but Phils character and story is genuinely very very :[ i love him, he is my favorite white boy, Phillip my beloved little corporate slave turned Man Fuck This Place >:,[ i wont talk about his story too much, but its sad, and i fucking adore him and will kill for him

an honorable mention for ricks, who i will not be sharing pictures of is Jeremy Fitzgerald, because rick is the ONLY person i know who has implemented the fact jeremy carved his fucking face off and also once again? i love him. hes a FUCKER.

HONORABLE MENTIONS BELOW CUT!!

my FAVORITE fucker to draw is malhare.

look at this fucking idiot, i love him, and yet he is ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING. HE IS A MENACE. this guy and his bestie in au is ARE ABSOLUTE FREAKS. FUCK UP YOUR LIFE FLAVORED FREAKS!!

annnnndd currently my favorite character to write for is Vanny and the Tape girl (Delilah!) :]

i will not be giving context to this image :]

#fazbear funland #charlie chats #fnaf

[moonjxsung]

i completely missed that you responded to my ask omg oops sorry 😭😭😭 anyways ummm tw for suicide mentions, cheating, a minor getting involved with adults (no explicit details), asian fetishization, manipulation (please know that this is quite a lot)

so i dated this girl in 2018 who was about a year younger than me, i was around 13-14 during the time so she was 12-13 or so (also since we were so young she might be better now, i have no idea. i could've done things better too and should've left, but we were both kids too, so. yeah)

first of all she'd be possessive over her biases, so a lot of the time i had to hold back around her if i liked the same idol she did, and for quite a while i really disliked nct because of her (but im fully over it now)

she used to go on omegle all the time and she purposefully tagged it with "asian, korean, nsfw, dom" etcetc and she'd do this on call right in front of me, flirting with strangers AND she'd lie about her age ALLLLLL the time.. so often she'd claim to be 16-18 to people who were 18+

me and our other 2 friends told her Not to do that but i dont think we ourselves even fully grasped the situation. to this day im not sure how far any of her conversations or friendships went with people who she lied to :/ i only know about one guy who realized/found out(?) that she wasnt in fact the age she said she was and i think he just cut it off and she was talking about it to me

(a side note about the omegle thing, i decided to try it once on call and also flirted with a stranger Which was wrong ofc, but also she immediately started crying and left call whereas this was a daily thing she did towards me......)

she lied about having jungkooks skype so she could switch back and forth between calls with her friends it was so ?????? 😭😭😭😭😭 we did not believe her but she was so adamant on it LMFAOOOOOOOOO

tw for suicide here

a LOT of times she'd suddenly hate me (idr her reasonings. i think it was her thinking i wasnt there for her or i didnt want to date her anymore) and she'd block me out of nowhere or she'd often "threaten suicide" i say that but technically thats not even what she did. she straight up told me how she was gonna attempt or told me she was in the middle of attempting, and multiple times i got on calls trying to calm her down and get her help. very awesome experience for a teen to go through:) i have no clue if any of it was even real either, so there's that

but yeah it was just very on and off and when i finally fully cut her off she Blamed me and got mad that i was cutting her off for my own mental health and wellbeing, she called me selfish for "cutting her off because she was suicidal" Which was not exactly the case.. i wouldnt cut someone off for just that, there were more layers to it

anyways i havent seen her in years. hope she's improved at least a bit now that she's older - puppy anon

Omg WHATTT is it with people who find pleasure in openly flirting right in front of you with people online????…?/??/? My last situationship did that shit all the time as a “joke” but got mad if I called anyone (even an idol????) remotely attractive like!?? What are you gaining? Out of doing that?????? That’s really terrible that she lied about her age too oh my god those people could’ve gotten in SERIOUS trouble just because she wanted to be silly online wtaf……..

THE JUNGKOOK SKYPE THIS IS CRAZYYYYYZUSKKSSKLZKS HELP MEEEEE 😭😭 why do people think they’re convincing anyone by lying about the most out of pocket shit LMAOOOO

The suicide thing is absolutely abhorrent behavior oh my god…. I don’t know WHAT it is with friends or relationships who threaten suicide and then either block you or disappear for hours on end and they don’t understand the fucking TOLL that takes on somebody. Like they really think it’s okay to make you go about your day after having to practically talk somebody out of suicide. And then it turns out that wasn’t even the case :/ as an adult I realize how ODD it is that people do that shit at all, and to CHILDREN. I had a friend who did the same to me when I was in the 1D fandom and she was 20, I was only 13. I remember sending her Harry styles memes that were like “you’re worth it” and “you matter” like oh my god please go see a therapist I am a CHILD BRO 😭😭😭😭

I’m glad you finally cut her off and prioritized yourself and I hope you don’t cross paths with anyone like her again :( people like that will try to make you feel bad for cutting them off because they’re just mad about the fact that somebody was smart enough to see through their manipulative schemes and pull out of being involved. You deserve so much better and I also hope that she’s improved but I hope nobody has to go through that shit at the hands of her scheming ass 🙄 BYEEEEEE

ily pookie thank you for sharing this with me it’s not easy to talk about things like this but you’re doing amazing and you deserve the very best !! I love u and I hope u know that every time I think of you I think of that silly alien meme. SCHOOLK😈‼️‼️🫶

#puppy anon <3 #ask

[ultimateplaylistmaker]

Their name is "dontconfuseloveandabuse"

Now the power is if you answer this ask :3

Looks like an empty throwaway blog

they dont even follow oumakokichi....

anyways thats SUCH an on the point username thats funny

why is this there icon, someone redraw this but its kokichi and gonta

funny that they follow sdra2 incorrect quotes, what do you think their opinion on the Otonokoji siblings are

shout out to their likes being 2 posts about someone hating kokichi, and the other like being...one of jacks posts??? fucking plot twist there why the fuck are you here this post is from 2018 and only has 9 fucking notes i get me having it, but like hello???

Judging by komanda being the default tumblr you autofollow upon joining, I imagine they are likely russian based

the derek blog also hasn't been active since 2019, all this implies this might actually be there main and they just havent done shit but lurk and send anons, all the likes are old, the following is old, it's all conjecture of course, but as someone with too many blogs, itd be odd of them to go out of their way like this to find and like these, ESPECIALLY because since they have SO FEW NOTES its super easy to actually CHECK the other blogs that interacted with them

NONE of the other notes have blogs that show ANY dislike of kokichi or favoritism, most either just had a casual amount of content, or had even made kokichi content

As such im at least 75% sure that this IS there main or at least an older blog

Don't harass them, just block em okay?

#anon chaos #look im a goddamn bloodhound about this stuff #people can attest of them sending me pictures of long lost merch and me getting an auction link for it ten minutes later

[daenystheedreamer]

what’s the weirdest thing u did over asoiaf?? spreadlist of names intrigues me

as much as i'd love and i covet ownership of The Spreadsheet it isnt mine! it's available here i spend so much time on it that i can squirrel out if a name has been made up or is canonical EXTREMELY well. i havent done anything extremely weird though... hmm. some chucklable occurances under the cut

a) the ashara dayne x female oc self insert fanfic. again this matter is not to be spoken of nor will i ever release it. it is WIPED from ao3. i did get into an argument in the comments section with a CUNT over it and it was really funny cos when he found out i was a girl (how i ID'd at the time) he was like sorry ma'am my most egregious apologies missus.

b) my season 8 spec fic i wrote at 14 after watching s7 when i was a jonerys (dw i recovered) and the actual battle of winterfell in season 8 was sooooo bad and lame that i predicted most of it. like i had melisandre sacrifice herself and die. actually thats all i remember idk if i predicted anything else. posted on wattpad ofc, on which i had irls following and i know for a FACT one of them read it. jesus christ.

c) watching GOT for the first time in 2017 and getting to the voyeuristic lesbian dany x irri scene from season 1 and realising i recognised it cos i watched it many, many, MANY times as a young homosexual on youtube without realising it was from got

d) ive been using this one family tree site since 2018 to create alternate timeline asoiaf family trees and boy oh boy i currently have TWENTY FOUR asoiaf related family trees created. im terrified that theyre secretly public and the site owners know im using their genealogy site to track generations of invented blorbos. its called familyecho.com! when it added the option to track adoption/polyamory/step parenting Oh My God i went crazy it was so good. and omg they added noble titles and suffixes it fuelled my paranoia that they could See My Blorbos.

#ask #anonymous #the weirdest is probably the last one actually.... #straight up you can test me like send me five names one fake/one canon and ill figure it out. im THAT confident

[fagdykemuppet]

ok i havent done it Yet but i plan on compiling a bunch of ben pics and loading them all in the queue to be a once a day thing. but until then id like to make a little introduction to our dear ben christo/the face behind our beloved ifrit ghoul! mainly because i already wrote something up somewhere else and i'd figure it'd be easy to just translate it all to one big tumblr post instead of doing school work. (update: it was fucking not) note: i have not listened to everything that he's ever done (and actually not a lot of this stuff) and i will miss some stuff but it's a start. if anyone wants to give stuff to put on this post i'd be more than happy to include it + i may update it as i learn more. ok cut incoming. warning for talk about unmasked ghouls if that's not your thing i guess. but also why are you here if its not.

okay so as we all know, ben christo is the face behind our beloved ifrit ghoul! but for those that don't: he played the touring lead guitarist for the band ghost in 2017! but this is all fairly surface level stuff, and i will not be going into much detail, if you want to look into it more just look at ritual footage from 2017. and if you're somehow not here from the ghost side of things hi. i'm sorry this is probably confusing, just ignore it. or dont and get into ghost bc ben played a ghoul in 2017. your choice

but with that out of the way, onto the real reason im making this post!

to get them out of the way, here are some links. (website, insta, twitter, facebook, linktree, youtube, spotify playlist, spotify profile, apple music)

so for some basic info that everyone that knows anything about ben will know: he is the guitarist for sisters of mercy. i don't personally listen to this band, but i do know that another one of the ghouls, the face behind aether, chris catalyst, was also a guitarist for the band. ben has been the guitarist since 2006, and also i think backing vocals. (links: spotify, facebook, twitter, website, (this thing is so fucking outdated but im putting it here for comprehensiveness), apple music, amazon music)

diamond black: this one is a band i do listen to, he is one of the founding members, the lead vocalist and guitarist! used to just be on guitar, but the lead singer (jaakko turunen) recently stepped down and now ben is fronting it. this band also includes another ghoul! jan-vincent velazco (aka vinnie) was the earth right before mountain/hayden scott, and is the drummer for diamond black! they've been around since 2017. and, fun fact, at the time of writing this post they're going on tour in a month with esprit d'air (which vinnie is also the touring drummer for. doing double time). go get tickets if youre in the uk area!! gogogo!!! theyre cheap, only ~£25!!! (links: spotify, website, insta, facebook, twitter, apple music, youtube, buy on amazon music)

speaking of esprit d'air: did you know ben did a collab with them? yep! dead zone off of oceans! (other links: lyric video, buy digitally, buy on bandcamp, buy on amazon music, listen on apple music)

next up is his work on raymond watt's PIG. from 2018-2019 he was a member of the band, going on tour (along side vinnie who was on drums) and even doing some riffs on the album risen (and the ep prey & obey). i haven't listened to these in particular, but i do like some of raymond's other work. (prey & obey: spotify bandcamp amazon apple, risen: spotify, buy it on bandcamp, buy it from metropolis records, buy on amazon, listen on apple music)

AKO (pronounced A-K-O. dont make the mistake i did and pronounce it as a word): i listen to this one. i don't know a lot about it, though. from what i've read it was formed in 1998 and disbanded 2005, reuniting briefly in 2010. (links: spotify, bandcamp, listen on apple music x, buy on amazon music x)

night by night: i know nothing about this band other than what i've read. it was founded by ben in 2008 and he plays lead guitar and does backing vocals! also i think vinnie mentioned being in the band at some point but i honestly cannot remember. (links: spotify, twitter, apple music, amazon, facebook, youtube. they used to have a website but i cannot for the life of me find if its still up bc all the links im finding are dead)

last thing ill be mentioning here is his work on lord of the lost's 2021 album judas. he contributed lyrics, guitar, music and vocals for argent (lyrics and co-wrote music) and still life to die for (lyrics, melody, vocals and guitar). (links: spotify x, amazon music, apple music, youtube x, bandcamp x)

there's obviously a lot more stuff he's been in, i just lost steam after working on this for a few days + even then i don't think i could cover everything he's been in i feel like im learning new things everyday. i'd suggest doing your own research + if theres anything you'd like me to add to this post just let me know!

#unmasked ghouls #ben christo #sisters of mercy #diamond black #AKO #night by night #idek what to tag this as so were ending it there #benposting

[jennilah]

michael!

M- What is their favourite dessert?

hmm assorted fun sized candy bars. am i headcanoning because halloween (the holiday)? yes. fite me. hes an october child, i bet he loves it

I- On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do they love themselves?

maybe like a 2 or 3, no higher than 5. I dont think he hates himself so much as he doesnt even consider himself. truly neutral thoughts about himself.

C- Can they swim well?

im gonna say no. I doubt he spent much time swimming at Smith's Grove, if at all. even if he learned to swim as a kid, he'd be hella rusty. I havent done a lot of deep-water swimming since I was a child myself, I recently went in the deep end of a pool i was shocked at how tiring it was to stay afloat after so long with no practice. He kinda sorta swims in, what, part 5? more like he gets tumbled around in a river before getting washed up. maybe he can swim enough to not drown.

H- What is their deadly sin?

wrath, bc of the killing and all

A- What are/were this character’s best subjects in school?

he's analytical, i bet he was a math boy

E- How are they with children?

indifferent to mild dislike. not enough dislike to kill, enough dislike to be like "ugh" and skip over them entirely lul except for that one kid in the car after the bus crash in 2018 lmao

L- What is their favourite board game?

i tried thinking of funny answers but like, what if Mouse Trap tho. think about it. its funny but also "wait, hmm..."

#jennilargh #ask games ahoy #jenna answers

[a-love-poet-at-heart]

Not to be a Bitch but im in a mood and want to be a Bitch so like What The Fuck happened to American Murder Song

But like I had it bad for that band back in like late 2018 and early 2019 until The Incident™ and like i sorta kept tabs on them and right before the Pandemic they were coming out with a new album (about the murderer hh holmes and the chicago worlds fair) and were doing a tour letting people listen to the album but halfway through they obvs cancelled cause Covid and like They Havent Done Anything Since????

Like wtf happened that was YEARS ago. Like almost 3. And they never realeased the cd???? They like havent done anything since then but a few online concerts wtf

(The Incident™ was me walking in the background of one of their live streams after being told not to. All my friends, fellow fans of them, left me and i had a mental breakdown and almost killed myself in New Jersey. Then i became addicted to self harming and really suicidal for like a year and a half. Im better now i swear)

#i have a lot of problems #i like adding in the fact that all happened in new jersey cause it sounds funny #im not from new jersey for the record #i was a trip to see american murder song #anyway the live stream happened at hh holmes grave so Yeah #anyway im much better now and havent self harmed in 2 years

[slidyyyyc]

why Sakupen Circles is NOT an unoriginal wave hell circles level (sakupen circles review and why i like it)

p.s. I AM TALKING ABOUT THE ORIGINAL 1.9 V HERE BECAUSE THE REMAKE HAS SOME REPLACED PARTS!!!!!!!!! OK?????? YES

okay, so, reading this title, you might think

"well SLIDY of CCOURSE IT IS! its a 2022 top 1 wave impossible 4k g502 60fps showcase 360hz slaughterhouse upcoming nine circles of darkness level! "

NO. i have liked this level since 2018 (over half of its lifespan HA!!!!) and you're WRONG and HERE IS WHY!!!!!!!!!!!

(also, i wanted to add videos of all of the parts, but u cant add more than 1 video per post on tumblr i think :( so heres the whole level)

#1 - THE PREDROP

the predrop of this level is probably the least original part, but its still pretty unique. the first 2 jumps are nothing i remember seeing in any other rated level, abusing hitboxes is something people seem to be scared to do. the next clicks are in a mirror portal (self explanatory) and then it has an extremely awkward pink orb click abusing hitboxes once again. next is the ship, with only really one interesting click, taking advantage of portals saving momentum, forcing you to hit the roof. the next part is unoriginal lol taking a part from sonic wave. then theres probably the least original part in any level ever thats just a bunch of spike jumps before transititioning into

#2 - WAVE CLICK PATTERN

(yaaw yaw yaw yayayaw yaaw yaaw yaw day dayayayay (tsk) yayaya)

this alone is probably one of the two most interesting pieces of gameplay in this level, the only other example of another level doing this level is crimson clutter (silent btw) on a much smaller scale. i have no idea what mindfuck caused nick24 to do this but i really like it honestly. also the structuring here is really unique for a NC level which is nice, especially for how early this was into the NC trend's existance. then we have the sonic wave floor spam with some amazing portal placement by nick. this then leads onto the

#3 - NOT VERY INTERESTING PART COMPARED TO THE REST BUT STILL PRETTY CREATIVE

(yayayayaya bwooow wooow yaw yaaaw yaw yaw yaw)

not much to say about this part, the original doesnt have that dumb portal spam LOL tosh is just dumb but those 3 clicks are like a generic nc mini dual structure on steroids. that shit go cray zee! ayways then its back to the WAVE CLICK PATTERN but reversed through a rough transition AND THEN....................... DUMRROLL PLease

#4 - THE CRAZY SPAM!!!!

(yiyiyiyiyiyiYIAY yiyiyiyiyiyiyyiay yiay yiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay)

this part isnt actually that creative but i havent seen many other levels do it so im talking about it. this part is SO HARD tosh had to NERF IT to do an AUTO SHOWCASE. this shit is SO HARD ITS REALLY HARD I DONT KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE HOW HARD THIS PART IS. getting past this part from 0 is probably harder than beating the rated sakupen circles (which is hard) which actually has a quarter of this spam in it!!! THE EASIEST PART OF THE SPAM!!!!!!! this shit is like 12cps controlled downwards and upwards spam. conclusion: way too hard. NEXT PART IS

#5 - THE DOUBLE CLICKS )wat)

(yoy yaya yaya yaya yoyoyoyooow yoy yoy yoy YAAAAY YAYAYAYA YA YA YA YA yayayayayaya)

this part is fucking insane. mentally insane. this is the first time this was ever done and is so iconic that itll never be done again. how do you even come up with this? the double clicks here are so insane and precise that im surprised they are even possible, especially since nick didnt verify this with speedhacks. i genuinely struggle to express my thoughts on this part, its just crazy, and probably the best example of double clicks in normal gameplay. then its the triple x wave which is tight asf but not original, then there is an odd 30fps spam which is impossible on 30fps because this level is 60fps minimum. then, finally, we have:

#6 - the last shirp

(yoooow yooooooow yoyoyoooow yow yow yow yiyiyiyiyiyiYIAY yiyiyiyiyiyiyyiay yiay yiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay brrrrsht boom darum darum ding ding rump BROOOOOOOM)

this part is kinda a generic NC ship, obviously inspired by crimson clutter (hardest demon). then it just goes and rips the gg from cata lol

SO THATS MY REVIEW! 10/10 FOR ORIGINALITY! THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST UNIQUE TOP 1S EVER!!!! ALL IN 56 SECONDS!! The deco is a different story. THANKS FOR READING!!!!!! THIS TOOK A WHILE!!! BYEEEEE!!!! BYE BYE BYEE!!!! GOODBYE!!! CYA!!! YOU CAN CLICK OFF NOW!!! BYE!!!

#geometry dash #sakupen circles #gd #gd level review #level review #slidy #slidyyyyc #nick24 #sakupen #circles #hell #bruh #the j #diamond #cursed #spaceuk #nine circles #circles level #unique #crazy #wacky #original #science #gmd #youtube #food #gaming #nature #culture #cute

[kono-sekai-soretomo-takai-ka]

Why does sh feel so wrong but still feels like i should do more?

I am 22 now and havent sh for a while. Lately I didnt feel like resisting the urge anymore so I started doing it again.

As I got older, i noticed something weird.

When I first started doing it (14) it was kinda for attention. I wanted anyone to notice that I am miserable. My Parents had their own problems to solve and our whole family was basically fucked up but my grades were the only thing that mattered lmao

Somehow selfharming was walking into a fantasy World for me. Of course I felt miserable, but I was able to free all those Impulses inside of me. Somehow it really was a working coping mechanism for me.

I had more active Phases and less active ones, but this continued since I was 18. Apparently the sh got worse in scarring but I didnt really care tbh. At some point it became a contest and less of a coping thing.

You need to cut xx time, you need to cut xx deep, the Cuts need to be this wide, etc

Sh got more and more Frustrating. It became yet another thing I hated myself for. I was never good enough

Why cant I cut deeper, why am I so weak, why cant I even do this one thing right, i am not ill enough if i cant cut deeper

From 2018 -2020 I stopped sh almost entirely, but relapsed hard again in 2021 due to my boyfriend leaving me and therefor forcing me to move back in to my mum.

I noticed that i thought to myself ' you shouldnt cut anymore you are an adult'

You should put your life together and get shit done like any other Person in your life or you should kill yourself. Cutting will only make you even more ridiculous and worthless. To be honest, this thought really turned out to be kinda true. I cant even count anymore how many times someone told me what a burden i am

So today i am sitting here, writing this, while i think about the times when sh "helped me"

I feel so humiliated. I am 22 and should have a Job, normal friendships and normal interests. But no i am sitting here, like the little stupid 14 year old girl and sh. It is like 8 years have passed but i havent reached anything in my life. Maybe that is the reason why sh makes me feel even worse than before, because it Shows me what a failure i am. Because i cant do nothing right, not even sh deep enough

Sorry for long thoughtsdump

#actually bpd #actually mentally ill #selfharn #bpd feels #mental disorder

[salemknightts]

You have ocs? Who are they?

oh youve unleashed the beast

OK so i have a couple random doodles of them on my blog, and im working on updsted ref sheets so those may be up soon(ish)

i pretty much repurposed these guys from my old storylines from like 2019-2020 so theyre not entirely set in stone storywise yet

ill give little descriptions and a doodle of them here under the cut, so this long post doesnt clog up peoples dashes

my "main oc" who tends to be one of, if not the, main character is named Dennix, hes kinda lowkey a self insert but exaggerated. hes autistic and aroace like i am, hes the pessimistic one of the group and he is kind of just an anxious mess

then there's Kira, the second main character one, shes the "mom friend" of the group and spends most of her energy trying to keep everyone happy, often at the expense of her own wellbeing. shes much more energetic than most of them are and is very outwardly optimistic. her and dennix are besties and have been since they were like 5 (fun fact they also were both werewolves originally because i made them in like 2018 during my aphmau phase. what a time)

next up is Alex, originally an emo ass oc i made into a less emo one. hes the youngest one and has some major anger issues hes trying to work out and he used to get into fights a lot. he is dead lmao (he was a ghost in the og story, not sure how im implementing that into the new story quite yet, either way hes dead though). He has an older sibling named Hunter who basically raised him and he looks up to them a lot. They were trying to help him through his issues and stuff, and now theyre kinda just alone without him (</3). [Alex is the top one Hunter is at the bottom]

i also have The Twins (named Ren and Raya). Theyre identical mirror twins, and Raya is transfem. Theyre both very similar, the "chaotic" ones of the group, often the loudest and most outgoing ones. Ren is like the definition of "hes kind of dumb but hes got the spirit." Raya is actually pretty intelligent but she tends to not act like it. [ren on the left raya on the right, also the colors are off but i have yet to redraw this, their designs are kind of pending still bc im indecisive]

Theres also Nicole, who is the much more shy and introverted one, and selectively mute. She is dating Raya currently, and she lives with the twins. She also tends to be a peacemaker but on a lesser level than Kira. Shes kinda underdeveloped rn im working on it still ahaha (not my best work but its the only one i have of her rn, the markers bled to all hell, sorry nicole </3)

i also have some in development ocs that i havent finished much for yet, so i might post about them when they are done! also whenever i get the storyline solidified ill prob post about it here too

#thank you for the ask omg #i dont think ive ever publically talked about them tbh #:]]]]]] #thearomanticsnake #salem answers stuff

[videostak]

really worried for what ill do when my boombox stops playing CDs >_< cause it works perfectly rn but like ive had it for so long and havent taken the best care of it well i have done my best but its def getting older and older slowly like probably like a year or so ago the lil spring that slowly opens where the disc goes just sprung out so i have to manually pull it up and hold it up so it doesnt slowly go back down when i wanna put a CD in and once i got dendy he started walking all over it at night sometimes and standing on it which definitely cant be good for it and its  abit more sensitive at reading discs now sometimes ill put in a disc and itll say no disc but once it reads the disc everything plays perfectly no skips or anything yet as long as the albums clean. pretty disheartened at that sharp boombox i got not working well cause it was exactly like a boombox i had gotten super super long ago back in like 2018 or 17 or smthn that looekd and sounded amazing and would play perfectly for like 5 mins then skip real crazy T-T so its like really hard to test them and like when it dies i wonder what ill do since i listen to music so muhc.. i guess ifi see a nice one i should try to buy it but im really gonan have to like just listen to an albums worth of music at the thrift.. cause with the sharp one i was there for like 10 mins and it didnt noticably skip well it did with schubert but i wasnt 100% sure if it had skipped at the time but then i listened to grover washington jr and it didnt skip so i was like ok it works but it didnt T-T so next time ill just have to awkwardly stay there for 30 minutes or so lol.... also annoyed i wasted 30$ of my christmas money on it just for it to not work....

[fluffypeanut]

Hey guys! So I just remembered again I had this account and I think it would be great for this exact purpose, as you may of seen I put up a post a while ago saying how peanut the cat was the cat from my pedophile ex. So I decided since I finally found where he lives again to post it here as a way of saying fuck you/to vent. (Wow I cant believe he has a trump flag outside of his house but man is it on brand for him)

So anyways lets get on to some of the fun details :)

>Will include mentions of pedophilia, rape, and any type of abuse you can think of. Ex. physical, emotional, sexual abuse.

So anyways his full name is Kyle Wayne Carlton, he’s currently maybe around age 25 or 26 if I remember correctly (probably not but he’s still mid 20′s) and although the police havent done a fucking thing as I mentioned in the last post, this man is a massive pedophile and rapist!

He groomed me at age 16/17 and went out with me for a year, everything seemed fine at first until one day he changed and treated me like absolute shit. At first he was emotionally abusive and left me with body image issues for years after he left but during the relationship he also became physical and would openly hit me in front of his friends. I remember once he even threatened to beat me if I didnt go into his kitchen and kill a wasp, pretty fucking insane of him tbh. But anyways that’s just scratching the surface.

I realized years after therapy that he did in fact rape me way too many times to count, he constantly would do whatever he wanted with me without ever asking for consent, I was so young and sexually immature that I did not know what to do or what to say during any of it when it happened. My most traumatic memory was when he broke into my house, put me on the floor forcefully, yelled at me whenever I moved and quite literally spit onto my asshole before anally raping me. I would say I am surprised I didnt go to the hospital but i’m really not because his dick was so ugly small and fucked up that during normal sex I did not feel anything most of the time. Dudes balls were quite literally bigger than his dick and it was sad, dude was built like a gorilla. I’d dive into the many other stories about how he raped me but I do not have time for that. Would like to mention though he did take photos of me that I didnt know of and I ended up having to have a friend break into his phone and delete them all, Kyle constantly told me that if I also didnt take some photos of myself he would come into my house and take them himself. Which he did multiple times.

Anyways onto the reason that makes me not care about doxxing him, Kyle is a massive pedophile. He left me at the beginning of 2018 and ended up going out with his 16 YEAR OLD EX FUCKING GIRLFRIEND and he was 22-23 at the time. Ofc she left him because he’s a sex obsessed freak and he found a girl nearby who was i’m pretty sure 14 at the youngest. She had schizophrenia and he would constantly fuck with her and her mental illness to get her to have sex with him. He raped her, a 14 year old girl, up until she was 16 until he left her. There are many more details to this as in he said if he didnt have sex with her a fucking “succubus” would kill him, so that was his main way to get her to let him rape her.

Would also like to add here that at the end of the relationship he stalked me for maybe a month before I was able to get rid of him. He would constantly show up while I was sleeping and would knock on my windows and shine a flashlight into my room anywhere from 9pm-3am at night. It was horrifying.

Also I didnt mention it above but his family hoards cats, he had maybe 8+ cats when I was with him. Two died because he let them out although you could hear coyotes howling at night constantly, and him and his family never had the proper toys or scratching post for them. The thing is though, if any of the cats scratched one another or scratched the couches they would take them to be declawed, they crippled so many cats for being just normal cats. They constantly talked about declawing one of the cats they recently took off the street (probably stolen) and it hurt my heart because I wish i could of taken them in, the cat should of been alone and instead of taking her to the shelter they wanted to disable/cripple her. Another thing you would notice about both Kyle and his house is that it constantly smelled of cat piss, any bit of fabric in his room constantly reeked of cat piss because his disabled cats couldnt use the litter box. It was disgusting and sad.

Anyways I started this out with big intentions but my little brain cannot think correctly, i’m pretty sure I covered most of it. Essentially Kyle is a massive pedophile and a rapist who constantly emotionally, physically, and sexually abused me for over a year. He deserves fucking everything that comes to him and because of what he has done I do not care about fully doxxing him. Please sent porn mags to his house in his name among other things if you find this. Thank you.

As I said before there is many MANY more things he has done that I havent dug into but I feel like these are some of the main fucked up things he has done to both me and others. I would also like to say that I truly hope Peanut is okay, I remember them saying how they wanted to give him away for not using the litter box (he was disabled due to declawing as well). Even though Kyle is a massive fucking shitter, I will always have love for all of those poor cats that I met years and years ago. Thank you guys for reading and I hope you understand how horrible this “person” really is.

(I will probably never log into tumblr again after this, and if I do I mean it is what it is. But I do not want to really look at any of this anymore)

#abuse #child abuse #to my abuser #abuse recovery #tw pedophillia #abuser #child abuser #declawing #tw abuse

[gumdecay]

.

#ntway being drunk is enuf of n excuse 2 b pathetic on mai iright? (this isntn my main but i treat it ike it is so) #i was gnna post this one in body of tst 2 but tis. bad. its BAD! so into the tags it goes :') but im like.. 90% sure 3/ of my 6 friends hate #me n ike. 2 of them (1 who hates me 1 who Toerates me) r only friends w me bc they have no tothr friends n like. idk! its disheartening #of the 3 one ive been friends w since middle school so im p sure the only resn they havent ditched me competely is bc of how long weve known #each othr n they Pity me 4 not havin ny othr friends/ a life/ etc :') 1 we just nvr talk nymore idk y.. n 1 weve nvr been close but uhh im p #sure they only like me bc i give her postive attention so. uk. uk.. the othr 3 i think just.. tolerate me.. feel 2 bad 4 me 2 like ditch me #competey :')p sure the main factor in icherally all my friendships is pity which. makes sense since im pathetic! lol! :') #truly truly wish ny one of my attempts had killed me ny one of my od's had kiled me licherally NYTHING wd kill me :') tired of bein here #tired of evrything evrything evrything tired of nthing evr getting bttr tired of being so completely fuckin alone :') tired of trying consta #ntly n having NOTHING 2 show 4 it :') idk. i was so excited 4 2018 n for a Minute i was excited 4 2019 but like........ the only reason i ha #vent tried killing ymself recently is bc 1 im saving up 2 move n having money n dying w/o spending it seems. wasteful. (biggest reason) 2 my #dog wld not kno where i went or what happened or y i dont see him nymore n wld probably feel bad n get sad n hes already not so healthy #3 my friends wld feel bad #thats it! none of those reasons r evn abt me! theres no reason i Want 2 stay here stay lviing except i have money rn at this moment n ppl wl #d feel bad if i died.. but genuinely i get very little joy out of living the only time im happy is when im high n when im getting positive a #ttention n those rnt reasons 2 keep living.. i wanna get published but only bc i kno my writing is good n iw ant attention so again not a go #od reason 2 keep living.. genuinely cant imagine myself living evn anothr decade cantimagine myself EVR bein happy cant imagine nything exce #pt what im livin rn at this mometn w tiny minor improvements :') #im sick of it lol!! #imready 2 b done im ready 4 anothr do ovr im ready 4 the next incarnation 2 not b so fucking terrible from the start :') #i genuinely hate this life the only good things dont come from me they come from othr ppl n othr things i cant find happiness or love in mys #elf n im tired of trying :') #idk ig :')

[icewindandboringhorror]

It’s Already April moodboard 

#BHBHDbbhbhb i feel like i havent gotten anything done #as usual... its always a mix of feeling like things are going by very fast but also very slow #I'v got like 8 main projects of the year and some of them are kind of large like making a game and stuff so considering it's already #april and how the tasks have been going i can kind of assume i wont get all of them done but who knows.. maybe one night I'll wake #up and suddenly my brain will work properly and i'll have like stat boosts because some interdimensional being visited me in a dream #+ 40 to Energy + 25 to focus + 8 to willpower -50 from severity of mental illness symptoms that impact my ability to work consistently #bhbhb #i could be honest with myself and just split the task list in half and make some of it 'stuff to do in 2019 if the world isnt destroyed befo #re then since you know youre not going to be able to get all this done in 2018' but you know what.. i'll .. retain my faux optimisim #lets pretend i can get 8 large projects plus countless side tasks done in a single year

[furymint]

2021 Creator Reflection

#1. stand easy

 i could say this piece wiped me out, but it remains one of my favorite things. ive wanted to write it for years. the way it’s come out has continuously surprised me, though, and my daydreams have been accompanied by this gyr abanian segment year round. it’s dense but it means a lot

#2. higher

i did some daveny prog early this year and made aerith’s house in her apartment, but i still want to continue fleshing things out so i can do the uhhhh wedding plot ive been threatening for uhhhhh years.

#3. blow the wind westerly

i did some good l’selle writing this year! i think most of my sel writing is a success, though, and i really appreciate that he makes a good bridge to my turtle friends. i snuck some y’lantaa in, too.

#4. deserter

i didnt reach my goal of writing at least two c’lov things this year, but at least i got this edit done. it would be really fun to play as him more, but i know it’s a waste of time and i need to do the heavy lifting with words. i hope i can do that next year!

#5. revelry

 my writing has been a bunch of lists for the past few years and i can’t tell if its good or bad, but i love the imagery in this one. its v poetic and soft

#6. armistice

gyr abania tiiiiiime. the second half of this isnt as eloquent as id like, but im still happy with it as a first attempt at getting at concepts i havent touched before. i also really love the outlines i made!

#7. sky ghosts

sel doing what sels do best. in reflection, the sea of clouds may have made more sense than the aery for l’selle regardless of what sky nini first thought of, but ksdjhfsd sel’s not going to either place if he can help it

x

this was certainly my least ‘productive’ year so far, but i spent the majority of my free time studying and researching and laying the foundations of my book blog. i def want to get more done next year! this year went by way too fast

im rly happy with my #FFXIVWrites2021 since i kept abt the same word count as last year so i call that a success.

im also working on a massive irreverent powerpoint for an accessible TLDR on nol/eli things, so there will be More then just the cursory intros for nol and elliot.

past reflections:  2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020

#the ppt has like 80 slides or smth rn and idk how accessible that is lol............. #its like 8 yrs of bribrain to condense tho #overall i didnt vibe too much w ew so im not gonna take off w that #i might replay shb for realsies and take a second look at that au tho #brianna babbles