#having convos about some of the barriers people have

[chaifootsteps]

re: convos about hazbin hotel's rating and kids being in the fandom.

i looked into what Amazon's Hazbin Hotel is rated and the confusing matter of the 16+ to 18+ rating. basically it's not uncommon for the (imo, broken) rating system to tag darker episodes with a higher rating than others, the intent is to let you know what the current episode will get into, but the fault is that it risks initially giving the impression the series is for a younger audience than it is.

& it *seems* the UI for the series page on Amazon defaults to the highest rated episode--bc it *was* 16+ before all episodes released, then bumped up to 18+ once episode 4 was there.

here's the rating on episode 4, which if it's the same as every other Prime episode i've watched, would've been briefly in the upper left corner in small text before fading away, easy to miss and lacks what would be more fitting verbage (i.e. sexual violence.)

and, here is what Hazbin Hotel's *official* certified ratings are, according to IMDb:

in relation to a shocking amount of kids being in the fandom, i tried to look into whether or not the Hazbin Hotel Pilot episode and/or Addict were age-restricted. y'know, bc everyone keeps saying it's an "adult show for adults." (which it is but ykwim.)

and it seems like there weren't/aren't. i checked in a logged-out browser if i'd get any sort of "this video is age restricted" or "sign-in to confirm age" YouTube filters. i didn't. i also tried playing them in Discord (bc usually if a YouTube video is age-restricted it'll stop you and make you view it on YouTube where it can confirm your age) both the pilot and Addict played without a problem.

(if someone else tries and finds they *did* hit an age-restriction block feel free to let us know.)

in addition, it seems a few redditors were discussing this very thing back when it came out, so they were either mistaken or it never had an actual age-restriction on it.

and the pilot's warning isn't even at the top or in caps or anything, it's a very casual "be warned this is aimed at older audiences hehe there are bad words and innuendos" line in the middle. not even "for" older audiences. "aimed" at them.

and as we know Addict has a proper warning at the start of the video that is as follows:

but, again, i was able to access Addict easily in a logged-out YouTube window which seems to indicate it had no age-restrictions on it.

i checked YouTube Kids itself and the good news is neither the pilot nor Addict show up in the search. the bad news is YouTube's content moderating is still lax enough that any dumbass can try and content-farm kids with whatever is recently popular, so a small handful of Hazbin-related videos like piano tutorials and silly crafts of the characters can be uploaded and labeled as "for kids" by those people. bc it's "just an innocent piano tutorial!" "just an innocent craft!"

but of course most of the "kids" we see in the fandom getting yelled at are generally 13-16 and up, just including the above for full context.

all-in-all i'm not trying to say that not age-restricting the pilot or Addict is some predatory action taken by viv, but to me it was/is a very poor ignorant or oblivious decision.

yes kids will always seek out content that isn't for them, but imo that's *why* the bear minimum is age-restricting and making it *clear* it's not for kids. it's for your own protection too.

if you put all the barriers up and kids still jump over them people can easily see it wasn't your fault. same goes for when construction sites or dangerous hills have warnings so they're not at fault if someone ignores the warnings and gets hurt.

but if those construction sites, hills, or videos made "for adults" don't have those warnings loud and clear, you're gonna get faulted, and you're gonna get kids running around even *more* confident that they belong there bc they were barely warned that they don't.

Thank you for laying it all out like this. This illustrates exactly what the problem is.

#rockanroller #hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop critical #actual blog post

[raya-rhaenyra-ahsoka]

My thoughts on Ep.5 - A God Buys Us Cheeseburgers, A rant (Spoilers Ahead!)

First of all, the chaos with what happened in the Arch was expected, but Annabeth seeing the Fates was not expected.

Annabeth insisting that Percy is alive, and went to find him near the water.

Percy casually greeting them hi. Like he wasn’t stung by the Chimera and fell off the St. Louis Arch. This will never be not funny.

Annabeth rushing to hug Percy and didn’t even care that he was soaked.

Me, internally: PERCABETH! PERCABETH! PERCABETH! 😍🎉

Percy just now realizing that a god could not have stolen the master bolt and might have been helped by someone. Grover and Annabeth looking at him like, seriously?

This convo:

Percy: Why are you being weird with me again? I thought we’re not doing that anymore.

Annabeth: I’m not being weird.

Percy: Yes, you are. You’ve been weird since we left the Arch.

Again, that’s their relationship.

Percy assuming it’s because of the hug. And Annabeth being like, No idiot I saw the Fates! Percy, honey, you’re the one being weird about it.

At this point, Imma give Grover some popcorn while he watches them argue.

Biker Ares casually asking 3 kids if they need help. Definitely not sus.

Percy, Annabeth, and Grover hiding behind the road barrier like, uh, no, we’re good. Idk, but that’s funny to me.

Ares snorting and saying they’re behind schedule and offering to help his little cousin.

Ares immediately recognizing Annabeth as Athena’s kid. Ares being like, Omfg she sounds just like my sister. That’s definitely her kid.

So a biker offering to help 3 minors in the middle of nowhere and offering them food. In other people’s perspective, that’s definitely sus.

Ares being a Twitter Troll is something I never knew I need.

Percy and Annabeth being so unimpressed with Ares was so funny. Like, so this is the god of war? Really?

Gabe painting Percy as a fugitive, and Percy being pissed about it. Not surprised.

Ares being pumped that there’s a war coming.

Percy and Annabeth fucking ready to fight Ares, and Grover’s just there like, let’s all calm down.

You left your sheild? Like, forgot it on a merry-go-round? Girl, you’re talking to a god.

Negotiating with Ares 101:

Ares: Okay, the satyr stays here while you two get my shield.

Percy and Annabeth: No!

Grover: Okay, sure.

Percy and Annabeth: wtf

The Waterland giving off steampunk/horror movie vibes is something I’m here for.

Percy making plans to take Annabeth to see a movie in the middle of their death quest just because she admitted to never having seen one is just so sweet. PERCABETH!😍

Annabeth being fascinated by Hephaestus’ engineering.

Grover’s therapy session with Ares to get more info is also something I never knew I needed.

The f*cking Thrill Ride O’ Love! IT’S HAPPENING!

Book fans rn:

Annabeth: Don’t you even try to tell me not to be weird about this.

Percy: I didn’t say anything.

Annabeth: I can feel you thinking it.

Oh, my babies. PERCABETH! 😍

Percy calling the Thrill Ride O’ Love a ghost ride is something I agree on.

The awkward silence while they ride the rowboat though, and then suddenly you hear, WHAT IS LOVE? BABY DON’T HURT ME... That shit cracked me up.

The light projections in the tunnel telling Hephaestus’ story.

The ride turning into a horror boat ride to a whitewater rafting ride was so unexpected. I’d pay to see that kind of boat ride rather than an actual tunnel-of-love ride.

Them having to jump and Percy unknowingly pulling Annabeth to safety with his water superpowers. He’s a waterbender and he doesn’t know it. LOL

Ares, the literal god of war, just ranting off to a random satyr he found in the middle of nowhere about his overachiever sister and her feathered pet will never be not funny.

Annabeth not hesitating to sit on the chair, and Percy stopping her.

SEAWEED BRAIN! SEAWEED BRAIN! SEAWEED BRAIN! SHE SAID THE THING! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

Book fans:

[Spoiler] To non-book-readers, that's her nickname for him.

Percabeth arguing about a life/death decision. This is their relationship.

Percy giving Annabeth Riptide. He trusts her. Aww. 😍

Percy having to sit on the chair, while Annabeth gets the shield.

Annabeth nearly backing out at the last second, while Percy assures her that he’s okay while trying not to cry.

Annabeth ignoring the shield then immediately and desperately tries to free Percy.

Annabeth bargaining with Hephaestus. Maybe, I was that way once, but I don’t wanna be that way anymore. I won’t be like all of you.

Hephaestus releasing Percy was definitely his way of saying, Girl, same. You’re a good kid. Imma make sure you’re Mom knows that.

THIS PIC! THIS IS HISTORICAL RIGHT HERE! GO BACK TO THIS POST AFTER THIS SHOW HAS SEVERAL SEASONS AND MOUNT ST. HELENS ERUPTS. *wink-wink

Percy and Annabeth going back to the diner with the shield casually, and then like, we got your shield, now where tf is our ride?

Ares’ ride: The Kindness Internation truck a.k.a. illegal animals smuggling van.

Thank you for the emotional abuse and the cheeseburgers and the ride! ~ Grover Underwood. Iconic!

Grover telling Percy and Annabeth about his therapy session with Ares: I know who stole the master bolt!

Of course, it’s a cliffhanger. But nothing will beat the HoO:MoA one.

Bruh, the amount of Percabeth content in this episode is just *chef’s kiss*. It’s all coming together. I can’t even fathom how much of an emotional rollercoaster I was watching this episode. It just keeps getting better and better! 😍

#pjo tv show #pjo tv series #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson spoilers #percy jackson tv series #percy jackson #annabeth chase #grover underwood #percy and annabeth #percy jackon and the olympians

[pinktoonie]

Haven't seen anyone talk about this so I will because to me it seems like the biggest obstacle in Rei and Kazuki's relationship and an important through line in the show.

Here comes a long, unpolished post.

As far as Miri goes, the family unit has been established and the two dads are settling in and relaxing into their roles almost a year into having Miri. Ep 7, 8, and 9 established that Kazuki, Rei, and Miri in that order respectively are in this family thing for life 100%.

But we still have 4 episodes left.

Obviously angst is coming, but along with that, Kazuki and Rei still need to address this barrier between them.

Listen to me. These lines from episode 3 have been nagging me since they were first said. They're IMPORTANT.

"I won't ask."

"I wouldn't tell."

The context here is Rei and Kazuki talking about their pasts. Whenever Kazuki brings up a tidbit about his past, Rei will agree if it also applies to him, but he will not elaborate, and Kazuki won't ask him to. Kazuki knows the gist about Rei's family. Who they are and what they do. He doesn't know how badly Rei was/is treated. He can see the scars. I doubt he's ever brought them up though.

"I won't ask."

"I wouldn't tell."

It's a constant in their relationship. But this lack of communication is problematic for two people who have decided to spend their lives together and raise a child.

Here's another example from episode 8

Rei here is bleeding from his forearm. The show even has him pose in a way to show us that it's clearly within Kazuki's line of sight.

But Kazuki doesn't ask. Because Rei wouldn't tell.

However concerned he may be, he doesn't bring it up. He doesn't know where Rei was that night or why he's injured. He can assume it had something to do with his family, which should be worrying in itself. Kazuki is endlessly patient and understanding, but that's not fair to him.

The show even makes it a point to bring this issue up again in the same episode:

So where do we go from here?

There will need to be a moment in the show, where Kazuki WILL ask, and Rei WILL tell.

Or Rei will just open up on his own without prompting. What Rei will tell Kazuki, we don't know, but it'll be something that matters. Something important.

What could it be?

My predictions:

Rei opens up about his past abuse in detail to Kazuki to fully make him understand what his father is capable of (because of the upcoming danger)

Kazuki gives Rei some sort of ultimatum, which results in Rei admitting something, whether that's "I love you", "I need you", or some sort of confirmation that he has no intention of leaving Kazuki's side, not just Miri.

They just have a moment where they open up to each other just because they're simply changing and comfortable enough to talk about the past now. "You didnt matter much to me" is the closest we've gotten.

A "what are we?" convo.

Regardless of the reason, narratively it will have to happen before Rei and Kazuki can move forward with their relationship, whatever that entails. But this lack of communication and vulnerability with each other is what's holding them back.

Lastly, this may be completely unrelated because the show is set in Japan but still caught my eye.

"I won't ask."

"I wouldn't tell."

Sounds a hell of a lot like the old, "Don't ask, don't tell" policy in the USA, which basically stated that non heterosexual members of the military must keep their damn mouth shut about their sexuality. No openly queer people.

Which if we apply it to Rei and Kazuki's unclear partnership... Fitting.

And also considering Rei's homophobic ass speech about carrying on the family and Kazuki sullying Rei's blood (which literally implies he thinks they're sleeping together because the only way to "sully blood" is through sexually transmitted infections), seems like the organization might've also had a sort of, don't ask don't tell policy.

I'm sure I've missed stuff, but these are the points that have been stuck in my brain. All in all, whatever this important thing that Rei will tell Kazuki is, it'll be the catalyst for taking their relationship to the next level of "partnership."

#buddy daddies #suwa rei #rei suwa #Kazurei #unasaka miri #Also please let them show some sort of physical affection toward each other after #Is a hug not reasonable and appeasing to everyone? #Doubt it'll get romantic since the title is called BUDDY and this is Japan and it's not a BL #I can dream though #Clown

[nerdygaymormon]

hi hi! You don’t have to answer, I guess I just wanted to ask for your thoughts on something, as someone whose blog has really helped me do some good introspection and feel a little more comfortable with my identity. (a little, it’s an uphill battle for me)

anyway, I went to dinner with a friend and we got on the subject of politics (as u do) and she was talking about how despite trying to see a liberal viewpoint on multiple issues she always comes back to conservatism and that’s where she stands. She identifies as bisexual and so I asked her how she feels that fits in with her conservative beliefs, as I made a sweeping generalization that most conservatives don’t like gay people (generalization, I’m aware, I know, I can be wrong). Long story short I think she just ended up saying that conservatives try to make sense of the world through their religious lens and said some buzzwords/phrases like “love the sinner not the sin” and “if I love my gay neighbor am I condoning their behavior” that whole mess. She then continued on to talk about how she had kindof put “that life” behind her (she almost proposed to her gf I think?) and knew that God had something just as good waiting for her and knew God needed her to do other things right now etc etc. She kept putting this part of her identity aside, or pushing it down, verbally throughout our convo, and that made me sad.

It’s just left a sour taste in my mouth, and I am not out yet so it was harder for me to have that conversation and not say the things that I really wanted to. Like maybe she’s put “that life” aside but other people haven’t, and don’t want to, and the party she aligns herself with is actively harming those other people! This isn’t just “God, how do I love my neighbor please help me” it’s “obviously these people are wrong and sinning and it’s my responsibility to punish them on behalf of God because I am Right”.

Sorry, I know this is long. I’m struggling with it, and struggling with being friends with this person, and now I feel guilty about reading my sapphic fanfics that I love! How lame is that. Any advice appreciated. 🤍

There are many ways to describe what it means to be liberal or conservative. One way is that conservatives tend to have a more hierarchical way of seeing the world than liberals, in other words, the world consists of divisions which are inherent and meaningful. Conservatives believe the lines between categories or concepts matter, that the differences are important. Liberals will tend to see those differences as superficial and not as defining, that things aren't so clear cut, and divisions should be reduced and transgressed. 

For example, a conservative may believe that the line separating men and women is natural and innate and important, it must be recognized, enhanced, and maintained. A liberal may see these distinctions as more cultural and want to remove the barriers in how individuals get to express their gender by removing laws enforcing gender roles. A conservative parent may choose to not let their son wear pink or take dance lessons or play with dolls because that transgresses gender lines, but a liberal parent may choose not to impose those sorts of restrictions.

Another example would be how a conservative may think that lines between rich and poor reflect meaningful differences in people's work ethic, talent, morality or value to society; but a liberal may see the differences as being rooted in the family situation and neighborhood you were born into, what educational opportunities were available to you, plenty of people work hard at two jobs and have trouble earning enough to provide for a family.

The line of when life begins is a big reason conservatives and liberals have trouble coming to an agreement on abortion, because a conservative may say life begins at conception and that's important and meaningful to them. But a liberal may say life emerges incrementally and therefore an abortion may be permissible before the fetus is fully a life, and that people of different backgrounds can have a different view on when life "begins" and so it's not fair to say that only the most conservative view on when life begins gets to make the decision about abortion for everyone. 

Those who view themselves as the norm, as the standard, can tend to view others as somehow lesser and will tend to be conservative in their politics because they want to protect and promote their viewpoint and their place in society. Those who don't fit the "standard," will tend towards liberal politics because they are looking for the restrictions and barriers to be removed which hold them back.

When applied to LGBTQ+ people, a conservative viewpoint may say the traditional family model of the 1950's is the only moral way to form a family, and the government's might should be used to enshrine and enforce this model. This means there's a gender binary and members of one gender should only be allowed to marry and have sex with people of the opposite gender, a family must consist of a man and a woman married to each other, and so on. They draw lines and create a hierarchy of what is the ideal and best. They may recognize there are other types of family arrangements but either they're not moral or they're lesser than the ideal, and therefore shouldn't be encouraged.

————————————————————

My experiences as a queer Mormon and as a queer American definitely affects how I view these types of divides.

I lived over half my life with gay sex being illegal and cops could and did arrest people for this. My choice of whether to have consensual sex with someone has no effect on anyone else, yet it was illegal for me. Often these sodomy laws which outlawed gay sex had exemptions if the two people involved were not of the same gender, so it wasn't the behavior (oral or anal sex) which was immoral, it was who was doing it. And yet someone who is married could cheat on their spouse and that not be illegal even though it could impact their legally recognized relationship. That didn't feel fair or just to me.

That causes me to have reservations about imposing strict legal restrictions on others who have a different experience or understanding from me. It frames the way I think of government as a tool to provide a fair and equitable environment, to remove restrictions which keep people stuck in lesser economic or social situations and to give everyone the same rights under the law.

The hierarchical way of thinking exists in the LDS Church when it teaches that only one type of family, only a cisgender binary, and only one type of sexual orientation, are worthy of being included in the Celestial Kingdom. That those who don't fit this idea of God's Plan aren't deserving.

Over and over in the Bible I read of God disrespecting the social norms--the second born gets the birthright, the one violating gender roles get chosen. I read of Jesus upsetting the established hierarchy of society and being with the marginalized and promising them a place in heaven with Him. Paul wrote that the divisions which separate people on earth disappear in Christ (There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus--Galations 3:28). I read the Book of Mormon's warnings that racism and economic inequality are dangers and we should seek to live in a way that benefits all.

————————————————————

Being able to see the other's viewpoint is what helps hearts and minds to change. Its why representation is so important, not just so I can see people similar to myself, but so that I can learn the stories and experiences of people who are different from me.

Being able to understand how other people view the world is useful because it helps us know how to explain our experiences and viewpoints.

Your friend's approach is that queer people are "wrong and sinning," and that justifies her supporting policies which don't support their equality. Yet an important part of God's Plan is agency, people need to be able to make choices. She gets to make choices she believes will lead to a meaningful and happy life for her and I get to make choices that I believe are the right choices for me.

Our responsibility is to love others even if they're making choices we don't agree with. "Love" and "condoning" aren't the same thing.

I think Elder Jack N Gerard said it well this past General Conference, "Would others see God through my conduct?" This could be rephrased as "Would others feel loved by how I treat them?"

[egoanesthesia]

OH MY GOD I HAVE A NEW ENTIRE REALIZATION BASED ON A CONVO I WAS HAVING W A FRIEND ON TWT ABOUT THE AIRPORT REUNION SCENE IS 3.08!!! 

Mkay TK and Carlos demonstrate how safe they feel with each other in different ways.  From the beginning of the show, TK is always shown as a restless/anxious person (he’s always fidgeting, his leg is always bouncing etc) and he never quite calms/settles fully until we see him and Carlos get together for real. The first real time TK seems fully settled and relaxed is in 1.10 when Carlos shows up at the firehouse and TK all but melts into that hug and then when they’re laying on the hood of Carlos’ car. I should mention I headcanon TK as neurodivergent so I think some of his “fidgeting” and restless behaviour is just stimming however, as a neurodivergent person it’s very different from his anxious fidgeting. 

Throughout S2 and S3 there are so many more instances of TK being at his most relaxed/only ever visibly relaxed when he’s with Carlos. The biggest example in S2 I can think of is the scene is 2.12 after the fire when TK is comforting Carlos and hugging him saying “we’re okay” because obviously they both just went through a terrifying experience and didn’t know if they’d make it out but now that they’re out safely, TK relaxes into the hug and is visibly calm, at least on the exterior. 

Now, the airport reunion scene in 3.08 is so similar because as soon as TK sees Carlos, you can see his body visibly relax again and when they hug/kiss it’s almost as if you can see TK’s brain telling his body “Carlos is here, we’re safe now.” TK is visibly calmer and his restless energy basically disappears. 

TK feels SO SAFE with Carlos that the anxiety and restlessness that is very typical to see with TK just disappears and his mind and body just KNOW the Carlos is his safe place; his home.

But Carlos is always calm at least on the outside. He doesn’t really express anxiety/fear externally (and the first time we really see it is when TK is in a coma after getting shot in 1.08). Then throughout S2 and S3 again, we slowly start to see more and more of Carlos feeling safe enough to slowly start letting that put-together exterior slip in front of TK. 

During the conversation after their fight about Carlos not introducing TK to his parents as his boyfriend is probably the first time we see genuine fear on Carlos’ face and TK recognizes that and tries his best to comfort and reassure him. We see it again in 2.08 when Carlos is talking to Gwyn and Owen about TK not showing up for dinner. Yes, he seems worried but he is visibly holding it together until it’s just him and TK (yes there are other people in the vicinity but still) and only then can we see the actual fear and worry written on his face. Also, this is the episode where Carlos mentions his father thinking he’s too “soft to be a cop” so we can assume that this belief/relationship with his father has caused him to learn to hide/repress his feelings, especially those like fear, worry etc that’d be deemed “soft”.

The scene after the fire in 2.12 too. Carlos is visibly panicking, blaming himself, and is so scared but he’s with TK so his mind/body allow him to be vulnerable with his emotions in a way he isn’t when others are around. Okay, finally 3.08 the episode that started this whole conversation. 

In 3.08 during the airport reunion scene once again, it is similar to the 2.12 scene I talked about above. Carlos seems calm on the exterior, maybe a bit tense but still seemingly put-together, that is until he runs to TK on the tarmac. Once he’s in TK’s arms and they’re back in each other’s space again, Carlos breaks down and you can see the worry and fear on his face and hear it in his voice. When it's just him and TK we see him let that barrier down and show those real emotions and actually be scared or anxious etc.

Carlos feels SO SAFE with TK that he knows he can allow himself to show his emotions and be vulnerable. He knows if he breaks or falls apart TK will be there to catch him and help put him back together. His mind/body KNOW that TK is his safe place; his home.

#911 lone star #911ls #tarlos #tk strand #carlos reyes #tk and carlos #tk x carlos #cris' thoughts #911ls thoughts #character analysis #i have so many thoughts and feelings about these characters #i love them so much

[uhgood-girl]

people are having a lot of interpretations on the line jk used in his apple music interview my views were different but messed not clear when he said I will never cross the lines with armys which a singer or artist should maintain everyone taken it as he is saying he will not use them for his benefit, sexual desires, hook up nd all crap they assumed but I don't think he want to say that can u please explain ur point of view not share it please.

hi anon, i hope you can forgive that i'm not sure how to answer this without sharing it? maybe i was supposed to post about it unprompted but to be perfectly honest, the quote in question didn't stick out to me at all before this.

i personally haven't seen any discourse over it either and am confused as to why there would be any as it seems within the lines of the normal boundary setting most of the members have done at some point or another to me.

but to be fair to you and this ask, i went back and watched it again just to make sure i didn't miss anything. the section being discussed starts around 26:13 and ends around 27:40 and in summary the interviewer asks jk about the special relationship bts have with army, how unique and symbiotic it is and what is jk's favorite part about this dynamic. jk answers that he agrees it's very special and how it's important to him personally to continue to try and have "authentic and comfortable" convos with army that show a real version of him. he adds the disclaimer that he knows that there's a line that shouldn't be crossed between performer and audience and he won't cross it but he wants to be our "friend" as much as he can.

so, do i think the "line" he has no intention of crossing here refers to not using army for his benefit/sexual desires/hook ups? uh, no, i'm with you anon, i don't think that's what he meant at all. but not because that line doesn't exist for him, i think it does, but like, that goes without saying, right? assuming jk is a decent human being who would never use his fame or money to unfairly take advantage of anyone, which is something i hope we're all on the same page about here as i don't know why anyone would ever willingly be a fan of someone they thought with high probability would do such a thing, would that not be saying the quiet part out loud? is there some group of genuinely delusional y/n's in a foxhole some where needing this spelled out still? (rhetorical, please don't make me think about saesangs today)

i put quotations around the word "friend" up there because at the end of the day, there will always be a (needed) barrier between idol/artist/performer and fan and jk can't really be our friend in the true sense of the word, which he's aware of. the nature of this type of relationship as a whole already maintains a weird, fluctuating power imbalance between both parties as one cannot exist without the other and you won't get very far, on the artist side of things especially, without understanding this.

but jk has kind of, sort of already crossed some "lines" with us in how willing he has been to show and share so much of himself with us, over the last year, in particular. in case you just fell off the turnip truck yesterday, as my very southern grandmother would say, getting to witness someone as famous and untouchable as jk chilling in real time in their home and bed even, is highly unusual. most celebrities with that level of status wouldn't be caught dead sharing something like that and understandably so, tbh, as most fans couldn't handle that level of intimacy with their idol. hell, a lot of people who consider themselves fans these days apparently can't handle it either, which makes me very sad and tbh how dare you potentially ruin the trust so many of us have spent years building up with them. rude. taking things for granted is how you lose them and the special relationship bts and army share only stays special with effort, but i digress.

i think jk's disclaimer here was an assurance that he's very aware of what he has chosen to share could be perceived by some as having already gone too far but that his boundaries are still firmly in place. "authentic and comfortable" are a priority to him but he's not going to exceed our shared comfort zone. he may be a lot more candid than some, say seokjin, who may as well be an international man of mystery for as much as he's willing to show off the clock in comparison, but jk knows what he's doing. and considering how young he started and how long he's been in the spotlight, he seems exceptionally well adjusted and savvy overall at navigating these extremely tumultuous waters, imo.

anyway, respect your artists as human beings and know your own fan boundaries, folks. there's always some nuance to be had, especially on a site like this where it's a mostly contained bubble for us, the audience, to throw around our fiction and theories and odes to how beautiful they all are but when you leave this space with any of that (minus the odes, maybe) and put it in front of these very real people in question, you've gone too far. don't be that asshole. everyone despises that asshole. (including said artists! they're never going to say it that frankly but i will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

#jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook apple interview #uhgood-ask #jungkook

[k1ngj0ve]

Had a long convo about Bisexual Pickles(the drummer), gonna edit it to be readable

(initially this was a convo about how Murderface would be into Semen Retention and claiming being with women is gay, and pickles doesnt get involved because hes had sex with men before)

Friend: I feel like one interpretation of Pickles could be that he doesn't think it's "gay" to have sex with men. so he thinks he's "straight" and that fucking the same gender occasionally is a thing EVERYONE DOES Me: pickles doesnt strike me as a 'has thought deeply about his sexual identity' or 'has done research on terminology'. if he has any terminology at all its some rare 80s term that was thrown around casually in 1 district of LA during a 2 year period. hes like 'oh im just what they used to call a butter nutter' and no one has any idea what that is

Friend: he's from the generation where "bisexual" means a girl fucking two men in porn or something, he never considered it's a label that can apply to real people

Me: this all came out because he was accidentally being interviewed by an lgbt magazine and didnt know it, having a great time with dudes that understand him and can relate to big gender-weird sex parties

and then the article comes out and its front page like 'pickles is bisexual' And hes SO MAD and he spends half the episode making a big deal about it, until someone finally defines it for him (i think swkisgaar wouldve been trying but wouldve reached a language barrier, hes getting so pissed)

until finally someone explains it to pickles and hes forced to deflate like "..oh. i guess that is.. what i .. am.. then… '. Hes so upset to have a label though. He wants himself to be UNLABELLED. he liked the mystery

Friend: Like a younger version of creed https://youtu.be/2JO3oJybBTw

Me: Thats funny XD "im not offended by gay people" and then relates about how he fucked this dude 15 times over a 3 day bender and how it was some of the best sex he ever had and they met up every saturday night for the entire summer until that dude came out to him as gay and pickles had to end it which always bummed him out because they had a real connection you know

Friend: the poor guy thought they were gay dating out and proud and it turns out Pickles didn't realize kissing another man in the mouth and holding his hand while getting ice cream is gay

Me: pickles talks about it in a way that strongly implies he was in love and wanted to spend the rest of his life with this dude, they bought a puppy together "but then i found out he was gay so i had to break up move out"

Friend: RIP

Me: in that dethklok way where youre just like "what the fuck goes on in your head, how do you think anything works"

Friend: he thought they would have to get a little purse dog and both of them would become hairdressers

Me: 'i dont wanna be a wedding planner'

Friend: "I don't want to move to San Francisco :("

Me: i am really pleased by my mental image of skwisgaar like yelling at pickles trying to explain that bisexuality is fine and normal but not having the language to do so. just fully not in english, and the parts in english Can Not Be PArsed. he means well and keeps trying to help and he just gets angrier every time

Finally screaming like 'SITS DOWN, SHUTS UP, YOUS GONNA LISTENS SHJSJFHEHSJAN' and then a plain looking person next to him clears their through slightly and goes "Skwisgaar says "Please sit down and be quiet, I have hired a swedish interpreter to help communicate" then gives this really heartfelt and informative speech telling pickles its okay to be who he is

#metalocalypse #pickles the drummer #bisexual pickles #snb pickles #skwisgaar skwigelf #dethklok

[vacantgodling]

idk how to put this really but i feel like a lot of other poc don’t have the same struggle with paleness in their personal works as i (and perhaps other dark skinned people) do.

you can still be pale and be asian, indigenous (depending on where you’re from), and latine. this is not to say you can’t be pale and still be black—but there is a distinct sense of otherness that comes with being black, and being pale while still being black. the assumption of being black enough or dark enough to constitute being allowed to partake in my own culture is one of the most confusing gatekeeps i’ve ever run into. you’re ostracized for being too dark by those outside the gate, but yelled at for being not dark enough or if you are or are not “acting black enough” from inside the house. i always feel at odds with my blackness even to this day. and in relation to my writing/creative endeavors i can’t make a character lighter skinned without feeling like i’m doing a disservice to myself in some way.

i’m a medium toned person ig.

i literally got a color picker for my skin to illustrate my point lol

literally any time i make a character lighter than this i feel like i’m being cruel to myself. for a long time, i was so that’s where the fear stems from—i made all pale casts; whether they were white ambiguous asian whatever. i didn’t make dark skinned characters. i was taught i shouldn’t especially because i was into fantasy and it’s again the inside the house/outside the gate convo. i was called an oreo by other black people, but i was VERY OBVIOUSLY and CLEARLY alienated from pale peers by virtue of being black. for having black hair and black features. my friends got hit on, i didn’t. my friends were looked to for opinions and their input. i wasn’t. my friends were praised and i was continuously forgotten about. yet it was almost the opposite in circles of my black friends. if i was the lightest person there (which has happened occasionally) i was automatically deferred to even if i didn’t have the same answers my darker friends did.

we talk about racism all the time but the hierarchy of colorism is more insidious almost.

you hear it when south and southeast asians talk about how they are treated in comparison to east asians. the whole oreo debacle about being black. the list goes on and on.

all of this to say, i feel legitimately disgusted with myself whenever i find myself making light skinned characters. in trying to unlearn my internalized racism towards myself yeah but, i have now run into the barrier of colorism and it’s exhausting to continue to unpack and unpack and unpack. i’m not complaining about the work per se. i’m proud of myself for realizing it needs to be done. but it’s also just… where does my own preferences for making stories about black characters that i can relate to, that i like, that i enjoy start, and where does this internalized colorist bias end?

i can’t tell and i feel alone because no one else seems to have this issue.

#does this make sense #i don’t think im making sense #i also don’t want disk horse on here cuz i’ll murder you #ren hot cakes #vent

[fff777]

reaction part 1 to wayv working at haidilao ep 2

hendery really is a MESS he had no idea how to present the menu tablet to the customers and jingmin still did all the work lol

apparently the customers so far have been real haidilao customers and already two of them have recognized wayv so that makes me think that wayv are perhaps more popular than i thought in korea

clapping for hendery after he did the bare minimum

jingmin coming back and apologizing to the customers for hendery's awkwardness lol. i get it though. this is just a fun bit for wayv but this is actually jingmin's job.

hendery walking like a video game character when he was standing in front of a seat and kun and yangyang told him to walk forward lol

dejun diligently scooping the food (possibly the shrimp paste) into the pots for customers

hendery: do you need recommendations? customers: yes hendery: this friend will help you dejun: yes

dejun didn't know how to explain 貢菜 and was like "...it's good"

jingmin says that the staff are allowed to give customers dishes on the house for special events like birthdays and such

this group of customers had one friend who came late and she asked for the same sauce as her friends, so kun went over to mix some more :3

dejun also offering to make sauce for the table he's helping <3

hendery saw jingmin helping customers with their coats and hendery was like I CAN HELP

this table was asking yangyang questions. the lady who knows sm idols probably told the others about them. they were asking him if he was only working for a day, another asked if he was maknae :3

HENDERY STRUGGLING WITH THE COKE CAN this man is HOPELESS like dude all that happened was that the tab was a little bent X'D and dejun opened the can with no problems 真係大驚小怪!!!

kun: who wants the coke? male customer: me kun: ah i'm sorry, men have to pour their own drinks YOU MEANIE

dejun offering for the customers to have kungfu noodle performance

i fucking hate this XD hendery painted 224 on plates with peanut sauce as a celebration for february 24 and gave it to the customers

lol the shifu putting on music on his phone for the performance

wayv will start the performance with some one direction lmao. i am yangyang here, i am trying so hard to be hype but my cringe barriers are too low XD

meanwhile kun doing some noodle performance for another table

kun: real talk, i learned this this morning

at least kun's noodles are actually edible and he put them into the hot pot

time for hendery the disaster lol. at least the customers are having fun XD

hendery: how was it, was i cool? dejun, in english: yes hendery: i know

hendery and yangyang playing hand games but messing up

dejun asked these customers if they knew wayv and the lady on the left said she was a fan! she said she'd even gone to nct nation concert and like them from debut! :D

birthday time!

kun got assigned to sing the haidilao birthday song

sowoneul marhaebwa~

a big group came in and hendery very loudly greeted them and this customer was like "hendery?!" and hendery went "???"

there's another table where the customer recognizes kun and yangyang. i just realized that it's probably because people who are interested in chinese food are more likely to be interested in chinese pop.

dejun: 唔好嚇親人啦 hendery: 我別人嚇親啊, 好緊張 and then hendery was like touch my heart bro, feel how fast it's beating

also i noticed the three camera people in the seat behind that big group? it must feel a little uncomfortable to be eating there on that day ^^;;

another canto convo between hendery and dejun. hendery was feeling idle and dejun was all "well you just have to see what they need" but he was saying it...a little cutesy. anyway dejun said that that large table was at haidilao for the first time so they might need recommendations. and then as he pushed hendery to go he reminded hendery once again not to scare them lol.

dejun: who even are you

these two customers asked for kun and yangyang's recommendations on soup

THIS FUCKING GUY I CAN'T WITH HIM

the customer was trying to input numbers and asked for help and hendery kidnapped yangyang just as he walked past.

yangyang figure it out. can i make an ipad baby joke? lol

this customer on the right was like "...so handsome" and yangyang got embarrassed hehe

it's getting busy now it must be around proper meal time (lunch or dinner)

hendery greeting a new customer cutely lel

yangyang suggested that hendery ask the big table if they want sauce and hendery was like "i asked...they didn't want :("

LOL offering photocard stands to the customers

#screencaps & commentaries #nct #wayv

[thepavementsings]

1 13 25 make enemies queen

thank u so much for the opportunity

the character everyone gets wrong

The more interesting less hatery take on this is part of a convo I actually had with a mutual today about charles re: characterization and the anglicization of non-native speakers' personalities which i'm gonna put a lot of here. The current popular characterization of charles (for lack of nuance i'm talking about current 'babygirled' charles vs the older 'femme fatale' characterization) is so heavily based in who he is when he speaks English.

I've said before one of the reasons I find it hard to pin down the piarles dynamic™️ outside of the one “they're childhood best friends and therefore soulmates” narrative - which i find to be a bit of cop out on doing the work on how their personalities are actually compatible - is because Charles is often being slotted into a pretty heavily gendered role in his pairings. I think that comes from the babygirl characterization that comes from interpretations of a lot of the English media we see of him. I find he is flattened for the narrative more than anyone else is.

But when you watch French videos of him, and Italian but I can speak about that less because of my own knowledge of the language, a far more layered version of charles comes out that counteracts some of the manic pixie dream girl characterizations that he gets. Part of that is because the longer form french content we get of him is a) outside a racing context and b) around people he is comfortable with. The Monaco videos with his mom and the youtube video with Pierre are really good examples of Charles as he describes himself: confident, self-assured, easy-going, etc etc.

I wish people would take in more of that side of his personality, but a lot of it seems to come from the language barrier of the content, not even getting in to the language barrier for Charles himself.

13. worst blorbofication

I will be honest to say that my interest in Lando has fallen off a fair bit in the last year or so. And part of that is because I think he no longer fulfills a role that I find particularly intriguing, and partly because I think he has moved further away from the Carlando characterization than the fanon has really caught up to yet. Part of that I think is because somewhere in the Carlando -> Dando transition, Lando was fully lost along the way lol. I have no idea who the Lando any side of the warring factions is referring to but it certainly isn't the one I see nowadays. Maybe that's also because no one on my dash on any side is willing to engage with the Lando and Max of it all which, listen, me neither. rock and a hard place and lando is somewhere deep in the crevice!

Also the Lando apologists think he's being a cunt (affectionate) when sometimes he is just being a cunt (derogatory) and it annoys me.

25. I will save this for the other ask I got for 25! Edit: Actually no I lied. I mentioned this the other day sort of and I *get* where the frustration comes, but I hate when writers pretend like they have no expectations for their readers re: comments or interactions with their fics, while simultaneously complaining about types/frequencies of interactions with fics. I think the ecosystem would work better if we stop pretending that there isn't a certain degree of transactionary nature in fic publishing and start those types of conversations from a place of more honest interaction with both ego and consumerism. I recognized it isn't a balanced issue, especially because reader entitlement seems to have gotten out of control recently. But you don't change anything with the way both sides currently engage critically with how they or the other party interact within the ecosystem. This is a difficult take to explain without a 4000 word essay but yeah.

#hater ask game! #honestly i feel like these are actually pretty tame lol #asks

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi sex witch! Thank you for all the work you do! Do you have any tips on helping your less educated friends learn more about sex? I grew up in a conservative Christian environment and while I’ve been doing my research, a lot of my friends have some misconceptions. I never know what to say when they say those things, because I don’t want them to feel embarrassed/ashamed. Are there gentle ways to say stuff like “I don’t think it’s possible to get pregnant that way” or “that can’t be right”?

hi anon,

I like the cut of your jib. first thing's first, I gotta say this: sometimes there's not a *gentle* way to correct someone but you need to do it anyway. literally just saying "hey man, that actually can't get you pregnant" is fine. feel free to follow it up with a helpful explanation - "there's no way for a sperm and egg to ever find each other by doing that, it's not physically possible." that's fine and dare I say necessary sometimes; god knows I've done it.

but hey, listen: you're right about not wanting to make people feel embarrassed or ashamed or like you think they're stupid for not knowing; that makes them way less likely to ask in the future! so tone is important, right? so what we're not going to do is go "Stacy, you fucking idiot, that can't get you pregnant. what's wrong with you?" you don't seem like someone who would do that, but it's worth saying. we're going to come at it from an angle of "Stacy, dude, I totally understand why you might think that, because I got the same bogus education you did, but that's not actually true! you can't get pregnant that way, and here's why!"

what you want to do is establish yourself as someone who is a.) nonjudgmental and b.) safe to talk to and c.) FUN to talk to because of your enthusiasm and interest in exploring questions together. you don't have to have all the answers - nobody does, it's not possible! - just willing to find the answers together in a no-shame way. fun facts help. "you can't get pregnant via oral sex, but did you know some sexually transmitted infections can be transmitted that way? you can get chlamydia in your throat, which is why barrier methods of protection are important even for oral!"

a great, super upbeat source of education is clinical sexologist Lindsey Does' youtube channel Sexplanations. it's where I began the education that would eventually lead to me becoming your friendly local sex witch, and Dr. Doe covers a HUGE variety of topics in short, fun videos that can provide a safe entry point on all kinds of topics - everything from anal sex to kink to sex work to navigating awkward social situations that are adjacent to sex. and it can be kind of nice to have a youtube rabbit hole to go down on your own time if you're not quite comfy having one-on-one convos about sex yet!

so, in summary, what we want to do is affirm our friends' curiosity even if they're wrong, establish that we aren't passing judgment, gently course correct with accurate information, and then offer up a resource to learn more.

"hey Stacy, you can't actually get pregnant by doing that. I know, I used to think something similar, but it's not actually true - there's no way for sperm to reach an egg that way. here, there's a sexologist named Lindsey Doe has a good video about pregnancy misconceptions."

#sex edventures 2022 #source: i teach sex ed to children and this is how we engage with them to foster curiosity without shame

[zmediaoutlet]

Hi! I love your writing and your posts. Your tags make my day.

Saw that you recently posted a pining!cas ficlet. Do you happen to know more fics song the same lines? Jealous pining!cas? Feeling a bit vindictive so looking for some petty things to read.

It's an area of writing that I think is really underserved! I would like to read more in that very specific area but there isn't much, or at least I'm not willing to sieve through all of AO3 to find exactly the right vibe. I mean, I'm not vindictive, lol -- I am secure in my canon joys -- but there's this really narrow slice of wincest-with-pining!Cas that is really interesting to me. I'll actually just crib from a convo I had about this ages ago--

--but agree, I love unrequited destiel/pining!Cas in concept, but finding fic for it is soooo hard. I don't want meanspirited wincest writer shit, and I don't want alas poor Cas :((( shit, and I don't want shipper-on-deck!Sam or weird homophobe Dean or all of the other hundred pitfalls (…that said, 'alas poor Cas' might be kinda reasonable for s13-15. Dean was straight-up mean to him, lol) [...] I guess part of the trouble is the same trouble with finding good gen. You've got to be on board with the emotional incest dynamic with Sam & Dean, even if you're going to keep it on the brotherly side, and understand that that is 50% of why Dean & Cas will never happen (or at least never happen the way Cas might wish it would). ((this aside from any potential sexuality barrier for Dean.)) then you have to be interested in enough in the canon dynamic to write a fic where they specifically don't hook up the number of people willing to write it in just that way is… uh… conservatively I'm gonna say 4

So those four people -- sing out! Tell us where the fics are! Friends who want a similar dynamic, pls rec stuff to us! Me and anon want to read it, it would be so interesting, give us it 🙏

#answers #pining!cas #i want to be kind to cas #he's really gotten the shit end of the stick! #forever unrequited and that has to be the joy of it #which i guess now that he's like floating around heaven or w/e #that's fine #but still -- it's a hard row to hoe #and i just wanna be the hoe who's reading it ;-;

[bellshazes]

man. had a convo with my fave [state] coworker and she is so, so lovely. i love her, truly, from the bottom of my heart. you can just tell how much she cares about our members and I learn so much from her. and she comes across as blunt often, but she's always saying things that need heard. sometimes, it's with imperfect language. we were just talking about a trans member who had stopped seeing his gynecologist because, in his words, he's trans and didn't need to see a gyno - and had discovered he had ovarian cancer. my coworker was using she/her pronouns for him - not great! - but she was trying to get the group to focus on what barriers there were to that gynecological care, the ovarian cancer. they kept getting on her for the pronoun thing, which, yes, i also told her that if you're unable to hear the preference from the person themself, opting for the gender they're transitioning to (and this isn't "optimal language" i'm using, but it's where my coworker is at) is better. but she was right about trying to focus on helping the actual situation.

i talked it through with her and about my experiences with being out at work but not with my family, about whether there's trans-friendly gynecologists at all in the member's area or if there was trauma there (how likely that is!). and she immediately lit up talking about how awful it is that providers will claim they are trauma-informed or whatever and then fall short. she cares. she gets it, on some level. her use of she/her was a misguided attempt to express in the only way she knew how to focus on the issue of a person not receiving adequate care and needing support through cancer treatment. despite her ignorance, she was doing her damnedest to be this person's best advocate.

and she was so grateful and open to talking through the complexities! it is in fact important to validate to allies that it is hard sometimes to know what pronouns to use when a coworker is out at work but not in the community but that's part of why we do it anyway, because it's hard and important. she cares so much about trying to keep up with terminology she's unfamiliar with and not being seen as bigoted but she's not got a lot of experience talking to people in contexts where she can really learn. and she talked about being black and knowing as an adult culturally her family and friends just didn't openly talk about being trans or queer but she knows there were and are people who are and were. i brought up the complexities of how race plays into gender and transness, where black women can be denied "true" (quote unquote) womanhood because of their race and so how does that factor into being familiar or not with trans experiences? and if you're not white and you're trans, the ways in which you might be denied a gender you're not IDing with, but that's, well, intersectionality. and she had a lightbulb moment, i think, because i don't know she's ever had anyone say it in a way she's allowed to have something in common with. solidarity forever is the way.

there are a lot of willfully ignorant people, but if you connect with someone who's falling short on the "right" words and language and feelings, there are plenty who want to understand better but don't, who want to keep practicing, who care about you even if they don't know how best to show it. i'm really lucky to know people who keep reminding me of that, and who i know want a better world for the youth they serve.

#work woes #this is not not a tirade against the expectation of perfect language online. but #the point of it and the joy of it is imperfectly moving toward better understanding TOGETHER. #long post

[psithurista]

Dumping all my thoughts about the finale:

I loved the progression of Marc and Steven together having now achieved cooperative control after they’d broken down their memory barriers; Steven knowing how to fight and defend himself and others while Marc’s showing more temperance and faith in himself, esp. when Harrow was talking about his mother pulling out “the weed” to prevent what happened to Randall—it would’ve hit too close to home and I don’t think Marc would have been able to handle it at all prior to his journey of acceptance in the last ep but now that he has better access to Steven’s emotional intelligence, he seems more at peace with himself which was honestly lovely to see

Layla and Taweret working together makes me ridiculously emotional, and I really hope Taweret sticks around and stays friends/allies with her even if they no longer remain linked through the avatar business. And I hope Taweret is able to help her find some peace around her father’s death. I’m not a big MCU person generally speaking and I don’t always love massive CGI superhero fights so a lot of this ep felt like Avengers 5 or something which is personally not my favourite thing (though I’m relieved that the Hulk or whatever didn’t show up for a cameo fkdjdbsb), but I do think it’s extremely cool and exciting to see an Egyptian woman as a superhero (even if it was a bit much that Marvel was patting itself on the back about it mid-episode lol)

I’m v happy about the fact that they returned to Steven’s apartment in the end. I’ve seen a few people question this but I think it’s a nice full-circle moment. It was pretty obvious that that’s the life Marc wanted: to have Steven’s peace and safety and simplicity, and whether Steven is back working at the museum or not, I feel like they’ll be happy living there together like a pair of lil goldfish besties. Having said that, l do hope Layla’s going to work things out with them and, back to the emotional intelligence thing, I think Steven is going to be instrumental in repairing their relationship and having certain difficult convos that Marc couldn’t handle on his own (at least until they realise they’re still missing time and that Something’s Up and they figure out the deal with Jake)

There’s a pretty uncomfy undertone in the way they’ve painted Jake to be the “bad one” that’s super sus to me, and also plays into harmful stereotypes around DID patients having an “evil side” or being unpredictably violent. It’s clear that Jake’s supposed to be, if not an outright bad guy then at least morally questionable considering he seems weirdly elated about killing people (and yeah, Harrow definitely needed to die, but like the music choices and showing Jake grinning creepily as he chooses to continue working for Khonshu def has a certain Vibe). I’ve seen a few comments on the fact that he’s Spanish-speaking too, and while I’m sure that was Oscar Isaac’s idea because we know Steven’s British accent was his idea and it makes sense to differentiate the alters as clearly as possible through distinct voices/accents/languages, it kind of adds another layer that’s just a bit…hmm, and I wish we’d gotten to see a little more dimension to him because people who haven’t read the comics are likely just going to be like “Oh, there’s a bad one!” and why wouldn’t they? because the show gave us no nuance to suggest otherwise

This is maybe an unpopular opinion? but I’m a bit sad to see that it looks like we are probably getting a second season/film/whatever, just because I feel like wherever they decide to take it now, it’s going to stray farther from the core allegory around healing and mental illness and being a really emotional character-based story which tbh is the main thing I was really here for in the first place (and also just to Look at Oscar Isaac because come on now let’s be honest ldndn). But I really did fall v hard for this version of Marc and Steven and feel invested in their relationship with Layla and their future together so who knows! Regardless I will probably just stfu and greedily inhale whatever content they decide to produce for us to consume

Anyway if you made it this far what did you think of the series? Love it? Hate it? x

#nobody asked but i just needed to scoop my brains out real quick #shut up sam #moon knight #moon knight spoilers

[teaveetamer]

The problem with engage is that trying to make all characters avatar sexual, they forgot to make interesting convos between themselves. Some of them are as trope-y as Fates characters, but when Fates characters are rembered from those over-the-top tropes even in a negative way, most of the cast of Engage is mild at best, with the main lords and villains as exceptions.

That if you reach A rank between two characters and they don't get a paired ending also hurts them. From the top of my head I thought that maybe Alcryst and Celine would get an ending together after their strong bonding in their convos, same with Diamant and Ivy. How dissapointed I was when I saw that the only guys getting a paired ending were Male Alear and Alfred.

Honestly there is so much wasted potential with the characters and their interactions. I remember the hype when Yunaka and Rosado's designs were released and now they are barely talked about outside of gameplay purposes. It's sad.

I do think the Engage cast is interesting, and there's a few stand outs. Yunaka for example is super interesting, at least IMO. But I think the difficulty actually building supports right on launch hurt their long term fandom interest a lot. Cuz like with Awakening, Fates, and 3H you're basically bombarded with supports constantly. That's not insurmountable, but it does create a higher barrier for entry that a lot of people just aren't going to bother with.

But really, I think the real problem with the Engage characters is that their supports rarely involve them actually talking about anything important. I mean the stand out convos that I remember are Yunaka/Citrinne (where Yunaka reveals her past), Celine/Alcryst (where they talk about their fears regarding losing their brothers), Diamant/Alcryst (where they talk about Diamant's insecurities), and Alfred/Celine (where they talk about Alfred's illness).

I know people call the Awakening and Fates supports repetitive, but honestly? You have to assume that players are not going to get every support for a character in a playthrough, so having multiple supports where they get across some important aspect of their characterization is somewhat necessary if you want fans to have a good idea of who the character is.

Like, if you just never get Alfred's support with Celine or certain bond ring conversations (and I think his support with a DLC character now), you can go the entire game without knowing that Alfred has a chronic illness. Which is like? Pretty important to his character, actually? It's like his entire driving force and you can just completely miss it? And he is a VASTLY less interesting character if you don't know that?

[mbrainspaz]

Very long convo with gran today that was basically me just rehashing points I'd made before but all at once. I think I got her to see how her situation where she wrote and burned a letter to her deceased abusive mom is not the same as me not wanting to make small talk with my aggressively evangelical mother who doesn't respect my autonomy and reports on me to my abusive dad. I don't think gran's accepted that this isn't a problem she can 'fix.' She knows I've given my mom some assigned reading to try and get us to a point where we can actually have an informed conversation about gender and maybe politics. But the fact is that while she adheres to biblical fundamentalist beliefs my mom will never be able to respect me, and those beliefs mean more to her than I do. Nothing anybody can do to change that.

Gran still wants to ramble on about the 'grudges' and 'hate' I'm 'holding on to,' so that probably won't be the last I hear of that. She can't grasp that I don't have any anger toward them. Just a feeling of disappointment. She can't understand that all I did was recognize these people in my life who were acting in a way that was unhealthy toward me, ask them to stop, and when they didn't, I removed myself. Of course, gran doesn't respect me very much either, not enough to care about my name or pronouns or any of the things I'm really passionate about, so it's weird having these talks over and over again.

She tried several times to convince me that my relationship with my mom would be solved if we just agreed to never talk politics or religion again. I don't understand how anyone could think that would work in any kind of meaningful relationship. I asked her what the point of pretending to get along with my mom would be and she didn't really have an answer. I smiled and pretended to be civil in my dad's company for two years and what did that solve? Now I had to block his number and he's been sending me sinister vague emails. A relationship without mutual trust and respect is one you're better off without.

Most interesting part of the convo was when I asked her what the best case scenario looks like for her. I asked her what she thinks having a loving family means. All I could get out of her was 'I wish you could go to the lake with us again,' by which I'm gonna assume she means Quality Time. All she wants is to be surrounded by family and friends at the lake. That's probably doable, honestly. I'd still go to the lake and drink all my uncle's whisky while I write my book in the corner with my headphones on so that I don't have to listen to all the latest morally depraved conservative talking points. It's not like my dad will ever go to the lake because he's too homophobic to visit a house owned by my gay uncle (who is also a conservative yeah). The only barriers to me visiting are usually my latest peasant labor situation or my uncle's partner deciding he doesn't want dogs on the designer carpets. I've offered to camp in my car with the dogs. C'mon, that would be objectively funny on their fountain rotunda driveway. Me? I still want a family that cares enough to go to a protest or a rally with me. Hell, I'd settle for a family that clicked 'like' on my comic posts or showed up once a year to watch me ride a horse. I feel like that's not a huge ask but it would make me feel loved. They don't do those things because they haven't taken time to understand or care about me in a decade. There have been times when they showed up for me in the past. There were times when I felt loved. That was a long time ago. I don't think enough people ask themselves what a loving family looks like.

Then we went shopping at a decor store and I bought a pumpkin with a cute little snake on it. Gran gave me a hug goodbye and her perfume still smells like home. I love her for caring enough to meet up and talk to me even if we didn't 'fix' anything.

#conversations #family is weird #save me from my family #personal problems #journal type post #abuse tw #life goals