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zensations35 · 2 months

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Don't Cheat On Me (Haz/bin)

Yall were warned, here's another haz/bin fic. The hotel gang playing some board games. Vaggie reacts to them cheating. I played with morals and Angel being cute and Alastor being a sneaky bitch. This takes place mid season 1, cuz I wanted Pentious involved! Okay enjoy!

Husk sets the final two drinks on the table, taking care to scoot them far out of the way of the game board. Angel is propped with his elbow on his knee, chin resting on his palm as he concentrates on his next move.

“Alright,” he pinches one of the sheep tokens and moves it from the vale to his farm--which he dubbed ‘Haven’.

“What are you gonna do with all them sheep, Angel?” Husk asks.

“Nothing.”

“You aren’t going to eat them?!” Pentious yawps.

Angel squeaks. “No!”

Vaggie grumbles. “You’re gonna break the game. They’re currency for other shit.”

“Yeah! To be slaughtered!” Angel’s gold tooth winks in frustration.

Charlie, ever the ray of sunshine, even when talking about animal slaughter, picks up a game piece shaped like a human. “It’s to feed the meeples!” She dances it around happily.

Angel frowns. “Fuck the meeples.” He wraps his lower arms protectively around his sheep farm. “They’re my sheep. I can do whateverthefuck I want with them!”

Husk groans. “Rgh, just let Angel keep his damn sheep. We have other food sources for our population.” He flicks through his action cards, ears twitching with every shush of the card.

“Fine…” Vaggie grumbles. “You’re next, Pentious.”

Sir Pentious taps his fang with a bent claw, considering. It makes a soft tip tap tip tap. His eggbois start giving suggestions like “Trade for his sheep!” “Buy more lumber!” “Steal Vaggie’s coins!” Until soon they’re all chanting “STEAL! STEAL! STEAL! STEAL!”

Vaggie saws at her teeth, scrunching up her nose and suppressing another growl.

Charlie turns to her and offers a supportive arm squeeze. Then she looks encouragingly at Pentious and says, “We don’t steal. It’s very wrong.” She waggles a finger. “What should we do instead?”

Sir Pentious attempts to calm his eggs down, clearing his throat. “Yes, well, ahem. Eggbois!” He slithers into a spine-erect position, being commanding as he ever can manage. “We do not steal. That would be,” he cracks a small grin as if trumpets were blaring all around them, “Against the rules!”

Charlie claps, eyes glazed with pride.

Angel rolls his eyes and waves an upper arm, “Then, what are ya gonna do?”

Pentious hums for another long moment, tail swishing. Not surprisingly, one of the eggbois does not seem to take his words to heart. It clambors under the table and…is Vaggie seeing this? Is anyone else seeing this?? The eggboi’s hand pops up on Husk’s side of the table. Husk, who is mid drink, is too distracted to notice. The eggboi swipes several coins and scrambles back to Pentious, depositing it faithfully by his own pile.

Nobody says a word. Nobody else but Vaggie seems to have noticed.

Her mouth opens to warn them about the absolute betrayal taking place but instead, she’s overcome with a completely feral sensation in the core of her sinuses.

“Ih-hih!” Instinct has her hands forming a protective shield over her face, just as her shoulders shudder. “Eip’Sshieu!” her entire body cracks forward and Charlie gasps.

“Vaggie! Are you okay?” she massages the spot on Vaggie’s arm where her girlfriend bumped the table.

“Yeah, fine,” Vaggie waves her off, shooting a daggerlike glare at the clueless eggboi. Her eye narrows at Pentious who is taking his turn. Obviously the eggboi stealing the coins counted as cheating. But did it count as Pentious himself cheating if he didn’t know about it?

Vaggie heaves a sigh. Morals, she was learning, were fickle.

Husk has already decided what to do--two turns ago. He lays down an action card and helps himself to the public lumber market.

All eyes flick to Alastor. His strategy has been the hardest to read. His moves don’t seem to benefit himself much, but he’s made several plays that have changed the course of the game so far.

His red eyes glide over the cards in his clawed hand, his lips in a loose smile. He plucks a card and hands it to Angel. Angel raises the eyebrow above his dark eye and accepts the card. He looks shocked when he sees it.

“What the fuck?” he waves it at him.

Alastor just smiles and shrugs.

“What?” Vaggie swings her head left and right, looking between them both. “What did he give you?”

Angel snorts. “Wouldn’t you like to know, sweetcakes?” he shimmies his shoulders suggestively.

Vaggie clutches her cards tighter. She wishes Alastor would say something. Normally no one can get the guy to shut the fuck up, but during game night, he’s eerily silent.

Charlie nudges her. She needs to take her turn. Vaggie peers down at her spread. Her cards are shit, she’s poor as fuck, and her meeples are isolated and starving.

Charlie sees Vaggie’s shit pit situation and her mouth tips down, the circles of her cheeks bobbing softly. “Oh, Vaggie,” she scrapes a handful of coins together and holds them out. “Do you want some of my gold? I have enough for my turn.”

Vaggie sucks in a breath, the itch more like a stab this time, and she flattens her hand over her face. “H’SHUiew!” she presses her palm firmly to her nose and lips as her shoulders flutter in tune with her throat, “Heig’SGM!”

What the fuck? That counted as cheating?! But Charlie was trying to help.

Rgh! This is a fucking board game!! Not a reason to revisit moral trauma!

A faint but curious hum trickles next to her right ear, where Alastor sits. Her heart skips and she catches a hint of scrutiny behind his flippant smirk.

What is he thinking??

“Vaggie?” Charlie’s voice pulls her from her paranoia.

“Not getting sick, are ya?” Husk grunts.

“Oh please do not infect us!” Sir Pentious drums his fingers together, “I don’t handle illness well at all!”

“I’m fine,” Vaggie snarls, slapping a card down--something barely helpful at all--and calls it a wash.

Charlie pushes a pile of gold into the pot and buys four apples and a sheep. Angel looks dismayed at this and he’s eyeing the last six sheep in the vale.

“Angel…” Husk’s voice is low and gravelly, like coins scraping together, “you really should think about gathering resources for your plot. You don’t even have enough coins for--”

Angel slams down a card: infinite sheep.

Vaggie’s mouth unhinges and she darts her eye at Alastor. The smug on his face says it all: that’s the card he gave Angel. What the fucks?

Angel scoops the rest of the sheep from the vale and places them delicately in his farm. He now owns 80% of the fucking sheep in the goddamn game.

Vaggie glares at Alastor, her hand flying in circles as she speaks, “Why did you give him that? You could have used that on Angel to steal all of his sheep!”

Angel’s hair flops into his dark eye as he gapes at them. “You could do that?” his voice breaks on the last word.

Alastor ignores them, eyes intent on organizing his meeples, apples, and coins by size and color.

Sir Pentious chooses to sell a few things for money--lumber mostly--but he miscounts and an argument sparks between him and Husk about how much lumber Pentious added to the pile.

Vaggie hiccups her next breath, drops the meeple she was organizing, and spills a “Hg’KtSHieW!” into jangled fingers. She grunts, pinching her nose and sniffling. “Can’t we snf just snf start the turn over and--”

“NO!”

The boys both yell together, wings and hood fanning out as they both scramble to grab at the pieces of lumber they’re arguing over.

“Ai’kTChieh!” Vaggie slumps and sighs. This is getting chaotic.

“Do you need some medicine?” Charlie asks, looking for all the world, more helpless than Vaggie herself.

Vaggie waves her away with a stuffy sniffle, “Seriously, I’m fine.” It wouldn’t help anyway. What Vaggie needs is a break and--

Something enters her field of vision. Right under her nose, a rose colored cloth held by Alastor, of course. He smirks at her, teeth bared, glassy eyes dark and discerning.

Vaggie snatches the handkerchief out of his hand making sure he feels the anger in her shaking fist, but it only seems to amuse him further.

Shitass.

Does he know? Like…know know?

Rgh! She snarls her noseblow as rough and messily as she possibly can into his stupid fucking hanky, then wads it up and offers it back to the Radio Demon.

His grin doesn’t falter one centimeter. Before the cloth can penetrate his personal space, it dissolves into a pool of smoky shadow, leaving Vaggie grasping black air.

UGH! I can’t even spite him!

A clicking static whines from the Radio Demon and he turns back to the game. He’d better not be fucking laughing at her.

It’s Alastor’s turn and again he chooses generosity--this time toward Husker, who just lost his turn to bad luck.

Alastor plays a sheep pass card where all of his sheep will be traded for all but one of Husk’s cards. Husk accepts, stating “my cards’re shit anyway.”

And it’s back to Vaggie. She’s still in a Not Great situation with her farm. Her only cards are to trade lumber for sheep--which no one will go for since Angel is a fucking hoarder and pickings are slim--or to buy stuff at the market, which--

“Hih-ih!” F-fuck! Her eye rolls up, squinting through a tear as her teeth chit into a snarl. “HgtNGSH!”

“What the fuck, Pentious!”

“I did nothing!” the snake insists.

Angel puffs out his chest. “Oh yeah? Well I saw ya! You stole one of my sheep!”

“I did no such thing!”

“Then why do you have a sheep. You didn’t have any on your turn.” Angel points at the lone sheep in Pentious’s farm.

“My ssspecial ability allows me to--”

“Give me that!” Angel swipes the sheep out of his farm without waiting for his explanation.

Pentious’s hood fans, his tongue flicking out, irate. “How dare--”

“Ih-Shieu!” Vaggie’s elbows stab into the knobs of her knees and she heaves a breath.

“Hey! That’s mine!” Angel’s screech and scrambling is half-ignored at this point as Vaggie firmly tents her hands in a triangle over her mouth and nose. She’s had enough.

Husker joins the fray in an attempt to cool the brawl but the snake and spider won’t relinquish their stolen pieces.

Charlie tries to step in, explaining why this is wrong and how to apologize but she can hardly get a word in. Alastor continues to sit calmly with his smile, looking giddily around the table as if he had just been served a feast.

Vaggie feels the pull of another tickle and she snarls. She throws herself to her feet and hollers, “Stop fucking cheating!”

Everyone pauses, Angel’s body stretched halfway across the table, Husk holding Pentious’s arms back, Charlie’s hands clasped together in plea. They all look at Vaggie.

Then, “He started it!” all three boys say in unison.

“These games are about following rules! Not cheating! The only ones in this whole game who haven’t cheated are Husk and Alastor! If you can’t manage to do better than the fucking Radio asshat, then…” her eye flicks to Charlie and her heart plinks in her throat.

Charlie looks hurt. The gold of her eyes splashed like sunrise reflected off the ocean.

Fuck. Vaggie just accused her of cheating. And she compared her morals to Alastor. Shit fuck shit fuck. And Alastor is just sitting there, kicking his feet, staring at them with his chin in his palm as if he’s watching a show.

“RGH!”

Vaggie whirls and storms off, clattering through the double doors and slamming them behind her.

“Jeez,” Angel slumps back in his chair. “It’s just a--”

Husker cuts him off with a palm chop. “If you say it’s just a game, I’m gonna take all of your damn sheep and feed them to the snake’s eggs.”

Angel’s lips tighten and he moves protectively around his farm pen.

Charlie looks toward where Vaggie left and sighs. “I need to go after her. She’s upset.”

“Looks like you’re upset too, sweet cheeks.” Angel draws a circle around Charlie with his lower hand.

Husk smacks him and shoos Charlie. “You do you. We’ll figure this shit out. Trust me,” he turns a scrunched snarl toward the misbehaving duo, “I got plenty of experience with cheating fools.”

Vaggie sits on a couch, arms wrapped around herself. If she had told Charlie sooner, this wouldn’t be an issue. She just…

Can’t risk losing her. Can’t risk being abandoned. Having no one…

She shudders and takes a calming breath. Pushes it out of her mind.

No one suspects, right? There’s no proof even if they do. She’s safe. All Vaggie needs to do is--

The door creaks open and Charlie’s head appears between the wood.

“Hey Vaggie~”

Vaggie pushes at her eye and sniffs, “Hey.”

Charlie closes the door and carefully shuffles toward her girlfriend. “I’m so sorry for…well, all of that.”

“No, I’m sorry!” Vaggie takes her by the shoulders, “I was being stupid. I just…” she drops her hands and rubs one over her thigh, “I see the worst in people, I guess.”

Charlie’s silver lids lower and she bites her lip. “What do you mean?”

Vaggie sweeps the cup of her palm down her arm. “I…” she wants to tell her. She should tell her. Fuck fuck FUCK why is this so hard?! Charlie’s all about redemption!

Yeah. Redemption of sinners. Not you.

The confession dries up on Vaggie’s tongue. “I--I ruined the game.”

Charlie snorts, “You didn’t ruin anything,” she lets out a small giggle, “When I was leaving, I heard Alastor played Reverse Slaughterhouse. It kills everyone’s meeples based on how many sheep they had in their farms. So…”

Vaggie groans. “Everyone but him had sheep. Because he gave his all away.”

“Eeeeyeah.”

Vaggie has several words she could say, but she just bursts out laughing.

Charlie’s eyebrows fly up. “What’s so funny?”

Vaggie cackles, “Alastor didn’t cheat to win. He didn’t need to.”

Charlie smiles at her and drapes herself across her girlfriend. “You’re adorable, you know?”

Vaggie snorts. “You’re the only one allowed to say that. Ever.”

Charlie nuzzles her and breathes cheerily, “I know.”

#yall this was so much fun #i kept asking myself what angels would be allergic to??#and i was like fuck it #gotta be lying or cheating #and BOY DO I LOVE BOARD GAME SLICE OF LIFE SHIT #So had to go with that idea #i just love how i got to bring out everyone's personality here wuhhh it was nice #snz #snzfic #snz fic #zen fanfic #haz/bin #va/ggie #allergies

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