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rainbowsky · 1 year

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Anonymous asked:

Hey 🌈

I’m new here, it’s my first time seeing so much negativity on Twitter. I’m actually very surprised why solos/yizhan fans are always fighting with each other, as fans shouldn’t people just be happy that their faves are being supported? I was reading a few [redacted] and I’m so surprised to read people say that they don’t mind shipping yibo with anyone EXCEPT xz. I don’t understand why so much hate for xz? why is [redacted] he’s an established and talented actor himself. Also same applies to yibo, I don’t understand why xz fans hate him so much as well. Is there something I’m unaware of? because honestly so much hate for a co-star doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t think I’ve ever come across toxic fans until I discovered yizhan.

Sorry, Anon, there were some things in your message that I don't want to advertise on my blog.

I understand that fan hate can be jarring. It definitely was for me when I first got involved in fandom. I had expected everything to be fun and cheerful, and I was completely blindsided by how toxic and hateful fans can sometimes be.

As I processed things a bit more I was reminded of a simple reality: people deal in oppositional extremes. It's a common feature of society and culture. Where there is intense love, there is bound to be intense hate.

Hate groups feel good for the hater

Hate can often be a big part of how people identify and organize themselves as groups. It's a way for people to bolster their self-worth, alleviate deep insecurities, and build a sense of community and belonging. Paradoxically, being a hater can bring about intense feelings of righteousness and well-being.

For those wanting a better understanding of all this, I highly recommend this article. It's a brief, very accessible overview of the psychology of hate.

This is also a big part of why haters are so persistent. Because the hate becomes a central part of their social identity, and a constant supply of energy and self-importance. It's a carousel they can't step off of without feeling disoriented, hollow, isolated and (once again) small and insecure.

Never underestimate how deeply rooted hate can be.

The power of fantasies

When I look at solo fans and their hatred of turtles, it makes a lot of sense to me. These are people who are often secretly (or even openly) harboring fantasies that one day their idol will fall in love with them and sweep them away from their painful, mundane lives into something wild, romantic and glamorous.

Loving their idol and grouping together with other like-minded fans also serves this purpose. It takes them out of their everyday lives and brings them into something bigger, gives them a sense of being important, powerful and connected.

Then us evil turtles come along with our stories about GG and DD being in love (and into men) and it tweaks all the things in those solo fans that bring them joy. In a very real sense we appear to them to be attacking everything they hold dear.

The role of cognitive dissonance

I think cognitive dissonance also plays a big role here. Solos lash out at us because our ideas cause them discomfort (and incidentally that's also why a lot of turtles will lash out at solos). Because in a very real way, each group is trying to poke holes in - or even burn down - the other person's 'happy place' by presenting contradictory information. It upsets them, undermines their self-worth, and rocks the foundation of their daily joy.

And part of how they deal with that is by telling themselves that the other person's ideas are incorrect and their motivations are evil and they aren't a 'real fan'. Discrediting the person behind the idea is often easier than debunking the idea itself.

Especially when it comes to GGDD. The evidence of their having a positive, happy relationship with each other is much stronger than any evidence to the contrary. Therefore the only real way for solos to push back against the crumbling of their happy place is to discredit and malign the messenger bringing the evidence - turtles (and by extension, GG and DD themselves as their ‘love rivals’).

The hate solos have for turtles is deeply personal and very extreme, but it actually has nothing to do with us as individuals. It's just a cosmic psychological battle being projected out onto those who threaten what they hold dear (namely their fantasies about their idol being a potential love interest, or else someone deeply aligned with their own lives and values).

So while they hate ‘us’, they don’t hate ‘US’. Don’t take anything they say or do too personally. We are a symbol of something to them. Nothing more.

The role of homophobia

Unfortunately there is often a lot of homophobia among toxic solos. This is why you’ll frequently see them happy to ship GG and DD with women, but never men. They will attack turtles viciously and feel righteous in doing so, in part because they feel they are protecting GG and DD from perceptions that they are gay. I talked a bit about why that’s so fucked up in this post.

Don’t be a tool

Keep in mind that a lot of fan war BS is likely deliberately generated to try to make GG and DD look bad, and to harm them. China has a policy of holding celebrities accountable for the actions of their fans.

GG and DD are two of the top celebrities in the industry, and between the two of them they hold the most endorsements and are sought after for some of the best projects. In a shrinking, struggling entertainment industry there are bound to be people who want to take them both down. For rivals going after GG and DD there’s no easier way than to fire up their fanbases and get them arguing. Don’t unwittingly become an unpaid soldier in their army of trolls.

International social media is less risky, but don’t fall into the false sense of security that Twitter, etc. are inconsequential and can’t impact GG and DD. Sometimes things do cross over, and c-antis troll international social media and can take ideas and cues from international fans. Sometimes lies that get posted on Twitter end up being presented as truth on Weibo (we all know the reverse happens all the time). Better safe than sorry. Don’t feed the fire.

Location, location, location

Some platforms thrive on and profit from negative engagement, arguments and hate. That's baked into their revenue model and into how they function. My advice is to avoid places like Twitter for that reason. If you really must go there, then at least curate your feed so that you're not being exposed to garbage.

I’m sure my regular readers must get sick of hearing me say this, but we can’t control what other people say, do or think. The only thing we have any control over is how we respond to what people say, do or think. We should try to chose responses that support our own well-being, and which don’t contribute to the overall toxicity of the online environment.

Pick a platform that doesn’t feed you a constant barrage of garbage

Don’t go to solo spaces, even out of curiosity - stay in your own lane

If you start to get the sense a post or comment thread is hateful, leave rather than reading on and getting upset

Block, ignore (and report where appropriate)

Reminder from a previous post

As I said in this post, there are really good reasons to avoid hate threads (and everything here also applies to hateful things being said about turtles - not just GGDD).

Discussing and sharing these posts with others - even as a 'shock and anger’ sort of discussion - means unwittingly spreading the lies to more people for viewing. Even if you aren’t fooled by what’s being said, others might not be as capable of critical thinking as you are, and they might get sucked into believing it. It’s not worth the risk.

Viewing those posts and watching those videos helps to line the pockets of the antis who made them, and helps to give them clicks and clout.

These lies are designed to have a cumulative effect. You might not believe one of them, you might not believe two or three of them, but if you immerse yourself in enough of this garbage, eventually it will sway your opinion and you might become an anti yourself.

Even if you are devoted to GG and DD and will never turn against them, exposing yourself to this type of disturbing, evil, hateful garbage WILL have an impact on your mental and emotional health. Please take care of yourself and curate your experience of fandom so that you are not exposing yourself to things that hurt you or negatively impact your well-being.

Reading/viewing anti messaging has an incredibly distorting effect on how fans perceive GG and DD’s popularity and how well they’re doing in the industry. Such fans eventually become almost completely incapable of celebrating and enjoying GG and DD’s accomplishments or acknowledging their massive success because they’re too caught up in the perception that GG and DD are hated and that everyone is out to get them.

You do not need to know what hateful things are being said about GGDD in order to be a 'good fan’.

Some people will tell you that 'if you really cared’ about them you’d inform yourself about all the hate. That’s utter BS. The best way for us to support GG and DD is to not give airtime to haters, not give them clicks, views or clout, not let their lies get any oxygen in the fandom. Shut them out. They don’t deserve real estate in your brain.

The hate hatchery

The irony of all this is, a large number of turtles are hatched directly from solo hate threads. Some poor unsuspecting reader will stumble across a thread where solos are piling hatred upon turtles or on each other’s idols and they’ll think to themselves, “Why are these fans so vicious? What on earth are they so upset about?” and they’ll go digging into GG and DD. Seeing all the evidence, they’ll become a turtle themselves. This happens all the time.

What they think of us is none of our business

Just a reminder to everyone, what solos think about us really doesn’t matter. It’s all best ignored. The more wrapped up we get in it, the more oxygen we give to their hate. Let’s just stay in our own lane and let them wank on their hate in the privacy of their own spaces. If they come into ours, block and ignore (and report when appropriate).

And it’s important to remember, toxic solos are only a small percentage of GG and DD’s fans. They aren’t necessarily representative of what most fans think and feel.

Some related posts:

CPN isn’t a railway line in Canada

Dealing with antis

Toxic solos scaring turtles away

The unintentional humor of toxic solos

Toxic fans can be upsetting

Toxic fans and staying in your own lane

Toxic fandom, and queerness as a shield against accusations of homophobia

Getting caught up in what toxic solos say

Fandom Survival Guide

#antis go home #it's in the air it's all around #solos belong to moling su sect #twitter is a cesspool #ask

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thedivinefish · 3 months

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divinefishingtips · 3 months

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Come see me in Tampa

I am offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions in Tampa. The the next opportunity to book a session there is:

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http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

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Save the Dates: Jan 25th ~ 31st

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MY DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

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You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

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View Full Zoom Replay Collection The 5 Anchors Process The Purple Rain Process The Magical Golden Key

Healing and Grounding Mats for all occasions Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one! View Grounding Mats here Use code: MyLiquidFishfs for Free Shipping

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365dailyaffirmations · 3 months

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TGIWednesday: WHAM!

TGIWednesday News

Reach out whenever we can help/contribute to you and yours! View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins | 30 mins | 60 mins | Appointments

Next Wednesday's Zoom Event

LIVE! WEDNESDAY JANUARY 31ST 7:30PM ET/ 5:30 CT/ 4:30 PT (30 mins) Pre-register at Calendly for $22 (includes reminders and REPLAY) 👉 https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/jan-zoom-ywr1

Pre-Register Here - $22

TGIWednesday Video Download

Featured Audios 15% OFF in January

MyBeliefWorks™ for Being Your Ideal Weight & Healthy Diet, Digestion & Exercise MP3/PDFs

Buy the combo package for $82

or buy each individually for $48 and save 15%

Click below and ADD TO CART and the discount is shown at Checkout

Get both Audios for $82 - Click Here

Come see me in Tampa

I am offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions in Tampa. The the next opportunity to book a session there is:

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 2ND | 10-4pm

Swann Holistic Health Solutions 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy

http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

FREE Live Appearances

Save the Dates: Jan 25th ~ 31st

Reserve your FREE spot today!

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

From the Fish Box

MY DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here

Use Stripe for subscription Click here.

*Anytime prior to your next scheduled payment within the 30 days, you can cancel or pause this service via email request.

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Could you use a private session? Are you feeling extra-crispy? If so, you can now Book Appointments... View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins | 30 mins | 60 mins

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Visit our Online Training Center "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" - Lao Tzu

Visit now, Click Here!

The Fish Market

View Full Zoom Replay Collection The 5 Anchors Process The Purple Rain Process The Magical Golden Key

Healing and Grounding Mats for all occasions Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one! View Grounding Mats here Use code: MyLiquidFishfs for Free Shipping

**We are NOT involved in the sales or shipping process of the 3rd party items, please contact them directly.

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cosmicangel888 · 1 year

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When Spirit Speaks...

Energy is energy

The inner care, the inner realm - all that is needed to make new is within and how important, vital it is that we take great joy, time, care for our bodies, fields, energy, time, focus;

When you care for your body, mind, spirit is all the deepening of your own exploration, expression with the soul - your soul is vast and magnificent - your soul offers you your spiritual gifts, talents, skills, and offerings that are always being enhanced by your guides, and teams;

Many spiritual awakenings have us question everything - our beliefs, our perspectives, our ways of behaving, patterns, and dogmatic rituals, and ceremonies, all that we are and have been taught, is now under question as the life and honouring of spirit is seen, can be felt, heard, and known within so many things;

Many that move through awakening, choose to move through a dramatic multi-dimensional 'clean house' - releasing all ways in which lower vibrational energy enters the space, place, or home, engagements, or circles;

multi-dimensional healing - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual

awakening sparks the physical well-being; in every way to heal in-utero wounds, akashic, and lineage wounds, and wounding in every exchange and engagement -

if you are in a partnership and 1 person is not awake, 1 person is, 1 person cares for and nourishes their body, mind, spirit as spirit with spirit, the other doesn't, the one person honours sacred acts, sacred life force, understanding sacred life force, the one feels happy and enjoying multiple partners, and party scene, living in the night clubs, not feeling that attuned to their body health and energy

there is a great injustice and imbalance to the one that is caring and balancing brings to the connection, yet, she/he is the one doing all the work to maintain balance the more energies, entities that entangle - the more partners you have, the more energy, entities you engage with and ultimately have can have as attachments that want to be fed

Healing is key to all aspects of our life; anyone that is not tapping into their intuition for daily guidance, healing, wisdoms, activations and how each will awaken is to what level of blockages, stagnancy or growth each want to participate in

why most operate within imbalanced homes, patterns, beliefs, devaluing one for another and while one messes with many energies, one is devoted to the Great One, spirit & source maintaining with what is within - there will be an eventual break for there is much unfair and unjust imbalance that cannot be sustained; regardless of one deceiving, tricking, lying, manipulating, to fool those in the game; energy is energy and can be seen in the aura, illness, sickness, disease can be seen, felt

Healing properties of water, salt water, sound, are key for higher vibrational atonements - we will see much more of this in our new year for healing, activations, and transcending the soul wounds, illness, even disease

Life force is our most vital connection to all life, health, manifestation and is not ever meant to be abused, used carelessly in group sex dynamics, and whatever intentions are used while such, will equally manifest the disregard for all involved - ie; example, std's or sickness, or whatever needs to manifest for going within to seek higher guidance

All is a spiritual lesson, for all is spiritual

There is nothing that is not spiritual - all that we are is very sacred - our bodies, our minds, our soul, our spirit - all is life and sacred is within it all - we are here to remember love, light, sacredness in all life.

We are as spirit beings in human form, all is our spiritual honour and we are able to generate energy and life force through the sacred valuing, honouring behaving - or not - either way, your life is your proof of what level of care, nourishment with spirit or not - what is not operating in spirit will be seen and known

Whether it be STDS, or imbalanced blocked chakra's, imbalanced abundance, all are meant to use their daily life as the most undeniable lesson for higher vibrational spiritual reconnection to the most high within - ascension is the harmonization with our own higher self - the God self of who we are - to bring higher light life to earth - 5D

Your teams, guides, soul, God, the teams you are linked with, all will bring to you what you need for your highest growth and awakening to remember that all is divine, sacred, true and real for expansive galactic and universal evolution - there is so much expansion here now for a greater life - tune in, tap in, align, and grow ~ all is spirit!

youtube

Releasing pain, lack of self, suffering and disease, which again is not necessary - crime and violence, disease is not necessary -

We are spirit beings

And so it is

Blessings and light

Take care of you - you are divine - you are sacred

How can you severe ties with what is not blessing and honouring of you

Joanna

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yhwhrulz777 · 1 year

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Today's Daily Encounter 15th November 2022

Make Today a Good Day

“This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.”1

The holidays are drawing near quickly! Families are making plans to celebrate together, the list for Thanksgiving dinner seems extra long, it is time to get that forgotten "to-do" list done before you open your doors to all those invited. The busyness can many times take the joy out of these special times in our lives if we are not careful. Some may be going through difficult times and are finding it hard to keep going, much less find the energy to deal with the excitement the holiday season brings. No matter what the circumstances… God is in the midst of it all! In the good times and bad, God's blessings remain if we choose to see them. It all depends on our attitude.

Warren Wiersbe said the following: “Nothing paralyzes our lives like the attitude that things can never change. We need to remind ourselves that God can change things. outlook determines outcome. If we see only the problems, we will be defeated; but if we see the possibilities in the problems, we can have victory.”

Even in times of great pain or challenges, we have the possibility of having a positive impact by our trust in God and believing that He is in control. Our attitude, even in trials, can give hope to those who need it most.

I encourage you to embrace an attitude of gratitude and choose to focus on all the good God has given us. For starters, God gave us this day, so let’s choose to rejoice and be glad in it!

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for the family and friends I get to enjoy life with. Help me choose an attitude of gratitude and make it a good day. Allow me to not take for granted the opportunities you give me to serve others through kindness, encouragement, and being a reminder of the hope and peace we can find in you. In you, I can see past the problems I may be facing and proclaim victory because you are in control. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Psalm 118:24 (TLB).

Today's Encounter was written by: Crystal B.

NOTE: If you would like to accept God's forgiveness for all your sins and His invitation for a full pardon Click on: http://www.actsweb.org/invitation.php. Or if you would like to re-commit your life to Jesus Christ, please click on http://www.actsweb.org/decision.php to note this.

Daily Encounter is published at no charge by ACTS International, a non-profit organization, and made possible through the donations of interested friends. Donations can be sent at: http://www.actscom.com

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jdgo51 · 2 years

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Receiving Hope and Sharing Hope

Today's inspiration comes from:

The New Testament in Its World

by N. T. Wright & Michael F. Bird

"'May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God…

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. — Romans 15:5-7, Romans 15:13

The purpose of Scripture, Paul says in Romans 15:4, is so that “we might have hope.” He was speaking, of course, of Israel’s scriptures [the Old Testament], but with hindsight the same applies to the early Christian writings [the New Testament].

If that is so, then a prominent purpose of New Testament study ought to be to explain and illuminate the substance of that hope. In fact, we could even say that the mission of the Church is to share and reflect the future hope as the New Testament presents it.

Hope is, in fact, the foundation for the daily workings of a church.

In this world you will have trouble Where the Church Can Spread Hope

Faithful Christian ministry will often take Jesus’ followers to places where hope is in short supply:

places where a sense of hopelessness hangs over a community where the effects of global financial chaos are still in effect where there is unemployment and family breakdown where refugees feel alienated and despised in their adopted homes where racial injustice is regarded as a kind of ugly normality that we have to put up with, and xenophobia is part of normal political rhetoric

We are called to work with, and for:

people who are one illness away from financial ruin people who fear for their children’s safety when walking down the street people who find that cultural elites mock and attack them because they do not signal “progressive virtues” communities where politics means partisan policies on the one hand and acute apathy on the other a world in which, while all this is going on, the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer

To such places, and the sad people who live in them, as well as to those who find themselves battered by circumstances beyond their control, the message of Jesus and His death and resurrection comes as good news from a far country, news of surprising hope.

The Church, in the power of the Spirit, must signal in its life and teaching that there is:

more to being human than mere survival more than hedonism and power more than ambition and entertainment

Life… does have purpose; there is comfort for those weighed down by moral injury; narcissism is not the true “normal;” there is something more powerful than economics and bombs.

There really is a different way to be human, and it has been decisively launched with Jesus.

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. – John 16:33

The New World God Is Making

There is a new world, and it has already begun, and it works by healing and forgiveness and new starts and fresh energy.

The world will probably raise its cynical eyebrows: can these things really be true?

Yes, answers the Church; and they come about as people worship the God in whose image they are made, as they follow the Lord who bore their sins and rose from the dead, as they are indwelt by His Spirit and thereby given new life, a new way of life, a new zest for life.

It is often pointed out that some of the places most lacking in hope are not the industrial wastelands or the bleak landscapes shorn of beauty, but the places where there is too much money, too much high culture, too much of everything except faith, hope, and love. This is the good news — of justice, redemption, truth, beauty, and above all Jesus — that the Church is called upon to live and to speak, to bring into reality, in each place and each generation.

The Church, because it is the family that believes in the new creation, a belief constantly reinforced by the New Testament, should stand out in every city, town, and village as the place where hope bursts forth. Not just hope that something better lies in “the hereafter;” rather, a belief that God’s new world has been sown, like seeds in a field, and that it is already bearing surprising fruit.

The life of the new world has already been unleashed in the present time, and what we do as a result of that life, that Spirit-given direction and energy, is already in itself part of the new world that God is making.

Where this hope takes root, the story told by the whole New Testament comes to life again and again: through Jesus, and by His Spirit, the new world has been born.

All that we do in the present, in working for justice and beauty, in searching for truth in every sphere of life, above all in speaking cheerfully and wisely of Jesus, is rooted in the scriptures, both of Israel and of the early Church, and is designed to produce hope."'

Adapted with permission from The New Testament in Its World: An Introduction to the History, Literature, and Theology of the First Christians by N. T. Wright and Michael F. Bird, copyright N. T. Wright and Michael F. Bird, 2019.

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tallmantall · 2 years

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#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHealth – What You Should Know About #Depression, #Suicide

By Professor Taiwo Sheikh Welcome to this week’s #mentalhealth conversation, this is a chat room where we discuss the basics of our mental health in order for us to understand and have a full grasp of the rudiments of #mentalhealth and well-being. This is part of our #mentalhealthadvocacy activities aimed at promoting our wholesome wellness, prevention of #mentalillness, improving our awareness of #mentalillness, understanding that effective, qualitative and modern (technology-based) #mentalhealthservices are available to ensure quality living, harmonious interpersonal relationships, peaceful coexistence within our communities and enhancement of our commonwealth. That we can discuss #mentalhealth in major public forum like this and #socialmedia is a significant stride for global #mentalhealth and specifically, our local #mentalhealthadvocacy! Especially considering the enormity of social, cultural and traditional barriers to such discussions. After several sessions, he felt much better and happier, interest in work was better and he was no longer contemplating to resign, and, everyone was happy. Eighteen months later, the feeling of distress returned and this time with discomforting preoccupation with thoughts of death. His #parents and siblings couldn’t understand why he could be experiencing such emotional turmoil despite that he lacked nothing. He couldn’t think straight and was exploring ways of how to end the “disabling distress”. #James Donaldson notes: Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes. Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use. Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book, #CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com He became apologetic to his wife and his sister, telling his wife that he has saddled her with responsibility of bringing up their #children. He pleaded with his sister to apologise to their #parents for not living up to their expectations. Four weeks ago, the wife returned from work and found a #suicide note on the dining table and his corpse hanging from the ceiling! #Depression is a #mentalhealthdisorder characterised by persistently sad/depressed mood or loss of interest in pleasurable activities (including work) or loss of energy or a combination of any of these symptoms, causing significant impairment in daily life. #Depression is a common #mentaldisorder affecting more than 264 million people worldwide and about eight million (4 per cent) Nigerians (#female 5 percent; #male 3.6 percent) and #suicide is a dreaded complication of #depression. Possible causes include a complex interaction between biological, #psychological and social factors (sources of distress). Increasingly, research suggests that these factors may lead to alteration in some chemicals (neurotransmitters) in the brain that can cause changes in brain function, including altered activity of certain neural circuits in the brain. The persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that characterises major #depression can lead to a range of #behavioral and physical symptoms. These may include changes in sleep, appetite, energy level, sexual drive, concentration, self confidence or #self-esteem. #Depression can also be associated with thoughts or planning of #suicide. #Depression is a leading cause of disability around the world and contributes greatly to the global burden of disease. The effects of #depression can be long-lasting or recurrent and can dramatically affect a person’s ability to function and live a rewarding life. Effective treatment for #depression is available at the hospitals and in some states even at primary #healthcare facilities including private clinics in Nigeria and, the mainstay of treatment is usually medication, talks therapy (#psychological/psychotherapy), lifestyle adjustment (social) or a combination of the three (the combination has been shown to be more effective than using only one of them). Increasingly, research suggests that these treatments may normalise brain changes associated with #depression and lead to recovery. Access to effective treatment in this part of the world is significantly limited by lack of awareness, misconceptions and #stigma. I hope today’s conversation will add value to your understanding of #depression and #suicide, #Depression can have a profound effect on all aspects of our lives, including performance at #school, productivity at work, relationships with family and friends, and ability to participate in the community. There are strong relationships between #depression and physical health, including infections (such as tuberculosis, #Covid-19), #diabetes and #cardiovasculardisease (such as #hypertension and #heartdisease). #Depression affects all types of people, young and old, rich and poor in all countries. #Women are more likely to have #depression than #men. Read the full article

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jmwriters · 2 years

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Kindness

Pa'Ris'Ha Taylor teaches us the power of showing that you care. How its energy is from the heart.

We live in a world today of broken families, loved ones estranged from one another, spouses or loved ones serving in the military overseas. Some are in prison. Uncertainties grow as people have lost trust in the government, banks etc. People are looking for meaning in their lives. Some have lost homes and jobs. Some have had their homes demolished in severe weather storms.

Kindness is a soothing balm in these troubled times. It may not come easily at first, when people may have so many concerns and worries in their lives, whether on a monetary level, or emotional, family etc. Due to everyday stress, they may actually treat each other unkindly, speaking harshly to each other, reflecting their own inner anxieties, taking it out on the ones we most love and hold dearest to us.

Start by treating yourself with kindness and caring, self-love and respect. We have to consider what attracted us to our partners in the beginning? We showed them our best. Pa'Ris'Ha Taylor says after over 40 years of marriage she still makes sure when her husband awakens, he sees her at her best. We are responsible for how others perceive us so we become aware of what it is that we are broadcasting through our appearance.” Then you can show kindness to others. Heal yourself with little acts of kindness daily. Have a bunch of colorful flowers on your kitchen table, beautifying the room. Smile. Laughter heals by increasing the serotonin in the brain and uplifting and changing your attitude. Have a massage or get your hair and nails done. If you look good, you feel good. Relax with your favorite music or book.

Now reach out to others with kindness. Smile. Make eye contact with people. One of the best ways to forget your own problems is to reach out to others. Some people are so lost and alone, keeping their eyes downcast as they feel invisible and that no one cares So, look into their eyes, smile warmly and let them know you see them, that they are important, that YOU care, that they are a child of God, All knowing, All-Loving. As Pa'Ris'Ha Taylor teaches us, “We Matter”

Do a service for someone daily. Volunteer at a hospital, women’s shelter, food pantry or other charitable organization of your choice. Or start with your immediate circle of family and friends. If you have a spouse or loved one, even for your children, write love notes of caring and appreciation on sticky notes and post them on the refrigerator, on their desk or in their lunch box. Bring a smile to others. Call a friend or loved one. Send an email. Communicate with your immediate family members, with kindness.

Show kindness to coworkers also. Avoid habitual patterns that may have previously led to arguments etc. Reach out and speak kindly to someone you normally don’t talk to or associate with much. Get to know them. Invite them for a cup of coffee or tea.

“There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness.” -Dalai Lama

Kindness starts as a spark of caring that grows into a flame and burns brightly. As people begin to feel their lives changed by kindness, they too will reach out to others with kindness and this world will be a better place.

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” -Lao Tzu

Today, more so than any other time, we need each other, to be supportive and encouraging of one another. Remember, a little kindness goes a long way. With kindness, caring and compassion, we are opening our hearts to love.

In Galatians 5:22 it is said,” But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” Dalai Lama

So, think of what acts of kindness you can do every day to make a difference in people’s lives. I came across an interesting web site randomactsofkindness.com.

Here are some of their ideas. If you need more ideas, they list 263 on their web site. … Clean Up Graffiti Donate Used Books to Library Give Care Packs to Homeless Help a child learn Help someone for free, e.g. Yard work. Hold the door open for someone. Let someone go in line in front of you. Give them coupons you have for something they are buying Mentor an at risk child Make blankets for homeless Pay the tab for a person Read to a child Write a letter to someone who made a difference in your life Visit an animal shelter Pick up trash Send flowers Be kind to someone you may not like. Call or visit someone who is sick Donate to a food bank Donate Blood Donate used clothing Encourage someone Give someone a hug

One young woman painted beautiful designs on brand new running shoes that were donated and after they were decorated, she took them personally to the selected disabled children for whom they were chosen. They walked over to her, saw their beautifully hand painted running shoes, exclaiming in delight and pure joy and then hugged her.

As we allow Spirit to guide us in life, kindness becomes our way of life.

“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” -Dalai Lama

Lastly Pa'Ris'Ha Taylor said to us, “don’t just do it, BE it.” Be who you really are and the world will respond to your Kindness and Caring.

-PC

Posted 5-2-2022 JMWriters blog. Republished by permission

#Grandmother Pa'Ris'Ha #Pa'Ris'Ha Taylor #life skills #inspirational #spiritual mentor #life #love #brain science #kindness #personal development

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solarwonux · 3 years

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Sangyeon x f!reader

W.C: 6.2k

Warnings: alcohol consumption, suggestive themes, arguing, mentions of cheating

For the 12 Months I Loved You Collab by: @sunlightwoo

Note: um...better late than never right?? This was supposed to go up in February but things happen. It’s one of my favorite ones that I’ve written, but I feel like I say that for every single thing I write lmao. I hope you like it plsssss let me know your thoughts. Thank you.xx

A long exasperated sigh left your lips at the sight of Sangyeon in the corner of the reception hall, chatting up a pretty redhead. His arm draped around their waist, clutching their body close to his, their faces close enough to smell the expensive champagne lingering in their breaths. A palm was placed on his chest as he leaned down to whisper something in their ear. Earning a flirtatious giggle from them, along with a sultry nod.

Their delicate fingers wrapped around his black tie as they pulled him close to whisper something against his plump lips. It was your cue to look away, but something inside of you—maybe the five flutes of champagne you had indulged in when the night was still young, prevented you from looking away.

Gripping the body of your sixth flute you prepared for what was to come, though when he smirked and unraveled their fingers from his tie, you let out a sigh of relief. Sangyeon still hasn’t broken rule number three of your friends with benefits arrangement.

As common courtesy for the other party, under absolutely no circumstance you are to hook up with other people.

Though when he ran his fingers down the side of their arm teasingly making them shiver at the feather-like feeling. One you had relished in for many nights on end, you knew he would not only be breaking rule number three but rule number four as well.

As common courtesy for the other party, under absolutely no circumstances you are to hook up with other people, especially when the other party is in the same room.

The anger flourished inside of you like an unwelcome weed. And you knew green was definitely not your color, but you couldn’t help but feel the jealousy take over, running along your veins like bitter poison. Your grip on your champagne flute got tighter. So much so that if you were destined with superhuman strength you would’ve shattered it into pieces, especially when his knowing eyes met yours. A glint of something sinister sparking behind them while his fingers laced with those of the red head.

He turned away before giving them a shy whisper and then tugged them gently towards the door of the reception hall. Leaving you behind in the middle of his best friend’s wedding reception, on your sixth flute of champagne, while you broke rule number six.

Don’t catch feelings for the other party involved.

To be fair when you and Sangyeon had agreed to the terms and conditions of your new no strings attached relationship. You were positive, even overly confident that you weren’t going to be the one to fall for your brother's asshole friend.

You had known him for years, grew up with him. He always made it his mission to make your life a living hell. Whether it was purple food coloring in your hair conditioner back in middle school (you had an odd mixture of purple and red that had somehow turned a nasty shade of burgundy in your hair for almost a year as you grew it out enough to cut off the damage,) or calling you ugly while simultaneously including all the the synonyms. He had made your life a living hell, he had been the reason for your tears whenever your insecurities took over. And he had been the reason for your newfound jealousy now as you sat on your couch a week after your brother's wedding still replaying the scene back in your head like a bad old timely movie.

It had started when two of you got drunk on Christmas Eve, laughing boisterously at your nonexistent love life’s.

“Who knew the reason we would be bonding is because we haven’t gotten laid in months.” He said, throwing his head back, gulping the remnants of his beer.

”For your information, I got laid last week. But I’m not bringing my one night stand to meet my family.” You rolled your eyes, bumping your shoulder against his.

He sets the beer bottle to his side, before leaning his elbows on his knees and gazing over at you. “How many people asked you where your date was tonight?”

“Too many.” You sigh, running your finger along the condensation of your own beer bottle. The memories of yours and Sangyeon’s family coming up to you asking you the million dollar question still prevalent in your mind. “You?”

“Not as many as I expected but still a lot. I just wish maybe they can back off.” He leaned back, placing his elbows behind him. He tore his eyes from your form and focused them on the night sky. “Maybe I should’ve hired a date or something.” He comments.

Your family's holiday party was still bustling behind the front door of your childhood home. Yet, the thought of ever going back in, earning judgmental looks from your single aunts was keeping you away.

He was right, maybe you should’ve hired someone as a date for the night.

Sangyeon bumped his knee against yours gently, “Want to date for the holiday’s?” The question came off as a joke, his sweet and gentle laugh following it. But as you sat there contemplating the idea, you realized that it wasn’t as bad. He was practically family. Your parents and his parents had been trying for years to set the two of you up. If you were to show up on New Year’s with your arm looped in his, no one would bat an eyelash. In fact you were willing to bet money that your mom and his would start crying pure tears of joy.

“Why not?” You shrug, “Our parents have been planning our wedding since we were kids, and as much as we don’t like each other. In some twisted sense of the word I do trust you.” Sangyeon did a double take, sitting up straighter and leaning in just enough to be in your line of sight.

“Are you sure?” Concern washed over his features. His bottom lip found its way in between his teeth as he waited for your response. “Like, you want to date me for the holiday’s?” He asked pleading for reassurance. Despite the relationship between the two of you not making sense to anyone outside your friendship circle, the level of trust and respect for each other’s boundaries was evident. You two pushed each other, got under each other’s skin, but you also knew when to stop. Which is why this plan was perfect. Foolproof.

“Yes.”

And somehow the two of you agreed that from then until further notice you would be each other’s dates for every holiday in the near future. Yet, if you had known the outcome of it you wouldn’t have agreed, especially not when the thin threshold had been crossed on your birthday.

He had showed up with a cheap bottle of vodka, all the romantic comedies he could find at the gas station and a boyish smile. His lips were on yours after five shots of the drinking game you had invented and you were naked underneath him after seven.

“I’m just saying, adding sex into the mix wouldn’t be such a bad idea.” He proposed with a shrug during a very awkward hang over filled coffee talk at the rundown cafe the next day. “We can even add some rules so it wouldn’t be so weird.”

“Adding rules is the weird part, Sangyeon.” You rolled your eyes before taking a sip of your herbal green tea and then cringing at the taste. “But they would help...you know to keep things from getting messy.”

“Then it’s settled.” He smiled widely grabbing the kids menu you had ordered from and a red crayon, scribbling down messily in his almost indescifrable handwriting:

Holi-date No Strings Attached Rule Book

Can I come over tonight.xx

Your eyes roll to the back of your head in annoyance, upon reading the text from Sangyeon. Of course, he hadn’t contacted you for over a week and the only time he decides to do so is when he’s in need of a good fuck. You throw your phone down on the table, resting your forehead against it. An annoyed sound falling out of your lips.

“Hello there negative nancy,” Kevin says, slipping into the seat in front of you. “I got you your favorite.” He sings, placing the iced matcha green tea latte in front of you and flicking the top of your head to get your attention.

You whine, lifting your head up a pout evident on your lips as you break the seal of the plastic lid with your paper straw. A poor attempt to reduce the consumption of plastic. Changing the straw wouldn’t do anything for the Earth when your whole cup is made out of non-biodegradable plastic. Maybe it’s the effort and the thought that counts, either way you take a sip from your drink, savoring the taste as it coats your tastebuds. Letting the false promise of a full six hour surge of energy run down your throat.

“Thank you for buying today.” You nod.

“It’s the least I can do for helping me with the web design project.” He smiles an award winning smile before bringing his hot mug of black coffee up to his lips. Hissing from the heat and cringing at the taste. Just like how he couldn't phantom how you liked the vibrant green liquid, you couldn’t understand how he drank five cups of black coffee daily. Indeed, he was not human, you concluded that a couple years ago.

You shrug, wrapping your fingers around the cup, “I had time to spare, but don’t get too comfortable with my help. It’s rare that I finish my work early.” You point an accusatory finger at him, furrowing your eyebrows before breaking into a wide smile.

“Ehh,” Kevin shrugs, “we’ll see about that when you’re begging me to buy you one of those nasty vomit colored drinks in a week.” He finishes sending you a wink that usually has all the girls and guys weak in the knees. You on the other hand have been so accustomed to his flirty ways after years of working side by side that it did nothing to you but annoy you slightly, yet in some odd way it comforted you.

Since day one everything between you and Kevin was comfortable and easy. He sat next to you in your digital marketing class Sophomore year of college and the two of you had been inseparable ever since. For a while you harbored a fat silent crush on him, his flirting being a point of confusion for you back then. It wasn’t until you experienced first hand what dating Kevin would be like that your crush dissipated into nothing but a platonic kind of love.

It was awful, the two of you had only gone on two dates. Two very disastrous and nightmare inducing dates, that sent shivers up both of your spines when just the mere thought of it entered the front lobe of your brains. It was then, while attempting to wash out a red wine stain out of your white dress in his and Jacob’s kitchen that you both agreed to just being friends. Eventually leading up to being coworkers as well.

It was a shame, you could always see yourself possibly loving Kevin and it would be easy too. And as much as you’d like to imagine it sometimes, he wouldn’t be able to give you what you wanted and vice versa.

“How’s the boyfriend, trouble in paradise yet?” He raises his eyebrow at you, hitting your calf lightly with the tip of his dress shoe.

You groan, running a hand through your hair, “Sangyeon is not my boyfriend, we just hang out sometimes.”

You quirks an eyebrow, smirking, “That’s what I said about Jacob and I, and look at us now.” He raises his left hand wiggling his ring ringer, letting the gold band catch the light of the setting sun. “Till death do us apart or something like that.” He shrugs, taking another sip from his coffee.

“Yeah but you two are perfect for each other, Sangyeon and I are like water and oil we don’t mix unless, well...you know.”

“Unless the two of you are fucking? Yes I am aware, the horror of me walking in on the two of you last month still keeps me up at night.” He shudders, pushing his half empty mug away from him. A disgusted look on his face.

“Ugh,” you put your head in your hands in utter despair, “I thought we agreed to forget about that and move on.”

“Fine I won’t bring it up again,” He rolls his eyes and sits back, crossing his arms in front of him. “But I know there’s trouble in paradise, does it have to do with what happened at the reception?”

You stare at him with wide eyes. It wasn’t just the events that took place at the reception. It was everything before the reception, during the reception and after the reception. You swore to yourself and him the morning after the two of you first accidentally slept together that you would never fall for him. But as it turns out, you had fallen for him long before that, a moment lost in time. A moment you couldn’t pinpoint but you just knew that what you felt for him was more than platonic. It sucked.

“Maybe,” you shrug, stirring the contents of your drink with your paper straw, distracting you and avoiding Kevin’s look of concern. “Honestly, I’m not sure. He’s just so frustrating. We agreed to have rules to make this whole fucked up situation less of a mess, but he broke two of those rules that night, purposely. I could tell that he was enjoying it.” You let out a defeated sigh and push your drink out of the way, bringing your arms to rest on top of the table, crossing them and hiding your face in them. You couldn’t pinpoint the exact emotion you were feeling, but you just knew it was bad from the way your throat closed up and the tears that were brimming in the corner of your eyes.

Kevin hummed and leaned forward onto the table, ruffling your hair in the process. “And what rule have you broken?” He whispers.

“The one in which I wasn’t supposed to fall for him.” You lift your head, digging your palms into your eyes forcefully. “I didn’t want to, I still don’t want to, but I can’t stop. It’s like he’s casted some kind of love spell on me. Maybe it’s part of his evil plan to destroy me once and for all.” You sigh, grabbing your phone and turning it over. The text sitting there unread, haunting you.

“Don’t answer it.” Kevin covers your screen with his hand. The sadness he held for you is evident behind his soft eyes. “I know you want to but don’t answer it. It’s only going to make you feel worse and frankly I still hate seeing you cry.”

He’s right. Answering him would only make you feel smaller than you already do. You didn’t want to see him, but you longed to have him hold you even if it meant nothing to him. You push Kevin’s hand away, swiping your thumb over the text, hitting reply. You know you should listen to your best friend, but there’s a reason why the two of you would’ve never made it far in a romantic relationship.

You were stubborn and never listened.

8pm, don’t be late. I have to wake up early tomorrow.

Kevin sighs, shaking his head in disappointment, falling back in his chair, scoffing. “Last time, tonight will be the last time and then we break it off.” You say, avoiding his eyes.

“That’s exactly what I said and I ended up having a shotgun wedding.”

Can’t wait, miss you.xx

“My job’s having an event for Valentine’s Day.” Sangyeon broke the silence, his chest still rising rapidly, matching yours. As you came down from your highs.

The second he had walked in through your front door he was pinning you against your poor excuse of a dining room table, without a proper greeting. He barely gave you a second to think before he was peeling your clothes off in a haste and carrying you off to your room.

“And you want me to go with you?” You turn your head to face him. He was laying down on his side, his head resting on his arm, watching you cautiously.

“Mhm,” He puts his arm around your waist and pulls you close. “I need a plus one, I have this annoying coworker that doesn’t leave me alone. I figured if I brought you along they would back off.”

“So I’m not just your date, but also your cockblock?” You tilt your head to the side, raising your eyebrow. “What happens when they find out we aren’t actually dating?” You poke his chest with your index finger. It was smooth and muscular and decorated with the beautiful marks you left behind a few minutes ago.

“They won’t.” He smiled leaving a light kiss against your neck, trailing his lips up and sucking on the spot he knew would have you moaning in seconds. “What do you say?” He bites your earlobe, pulling it before sitting up again.

You sigh and bring your sheets up to your body, sitting up. “I can't, I have plans already.” You lie hugging your knees up to your chest. You wanted to go, pretend once more that you and Sangyeon were more than holiday dates and fuck buddies. But you couldn’t put yourself through that anymore. You were getting used to being by his side, living out a fantasy in your head. When all he wanted was a quick fuck and an easy pass.

“I have a date, Kevin and Jacob’s friend.” You shrug, closing your eyes, mentally apologizing to the couple for dragging them into your problem’s once again. “We’re going out to dinner.” You finish, opening your eyes and looking over at Sangyeon who laid there, messy hair decorating his pillows, stunned. You knew what he was thinking and you were just waiting for him to say it. To get it over with so he’d leave as fast he came in.

He chewed on his bottom lip and then scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “Oh, what about rule number seven or whatever.” He quickly got up from your bed, letting the sheets covering his lower half fall down to your carpeted floor.

As common courtesy for the other party, under absolutely no circumstances you are to date other people, until officially calling the deal off.

“Well, I don’t know. I like him. We’ve been talking for a while now and he’s sweet. He likes me.” You shrug, watching as he walks around your room looking for his discarded clothes. “And I haven’t broken the rule, yet. I was hoping we could talk about it and just call this whole thing off once and for all.”

“No but you broke rule number one or something.” He puts on his boxers fast and digs through your scattered clothes on your floor for the rest of his clothes.

You sat there silently watching him, running through your memory files as you recalled the rules and what rule number one consisted of which had nothing to do with what you had done. Or lied about doing.

As common courtesy for the other party, always use protection.

“That’s not what rule number one is, it’s -”

“Whatever, you broke a rule before calling it quits, you were basically cheating on me.” He yells, leaving his white washed jeans unbuttoned as he runs a frustrated hand through his hair. You were floored, witnessing an angry Sangyeon wasn’t rare for you. In fact, growing up you had been the product of many of his angry outbursts while inducing your revenge, but it was never serious. This was different. This felt different. This was serious, he was accusing you of something you didn’t do. He was accusing you of doing the one thing you saw him do at your brother’s wedding reception. It made your blood boil.

“That’s fucking rich coming from you, when you cheated on me first, but I never brought it up because although you fucking did break a rule. We are not together so who am I to get angry at you?” You threw your hands up in the hair, before pointing an accusatory finger at him. “Who are you to get angry with me?”

“And they were a good fucking lay, much better than you in every single aspect.” He spits out, angrily putting on his shirt. His words hurt. He was hitting you where it hurts the most and he wasn’t even aware of it. You held his gaze, refusing to break down in front of him.

“Why not ask them instead, why didn’t you go to them tonight instead of coming here?”

He shrugs, looking around your room, focusing on the polaroid pictures you kept on your mirror. Anything was better than looking at you, and the tears pooling in yours in which he undoubtedly was the cause of. But he was hurt too, you let him come over, you let him in and he had given you everything. Poured out his unwarranted feelings into every kiss he left on your body and every pattern he painted onto your skin with his delicate fingertips, just like he always did whenever the two of you got together. He knew he had broken rule number six a long time ago. Back when the two of you were still in high school, when the rules didn’t exist and his crush on you was nothing compared to what he felt for you now. But he was scared of telling you, and it had gotten him nowhere.

His heart still broke just like he feared, and even worse he had broken yours too.

“Maybe I should, this was a mistake. Being with you in the first place was a mistake and I knew it was going to bite me in the ass one day.”

“Get out, I never want to see you again.”

“With pleasure.” Sangyeon turns around and walks out the door. It wasn’t until you heard your front door slam shut that you finally let yourself cry.

You should’ve listened to Kevin.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Jacob pulls his scarf around his neck. Though, it was February it had snowed last night. The winter clothes that you had slowly started putting away, swiftly made their comeback when you woke up shivering that morning.

You shake your head, stuffing the heart shaped cake you had made for both him and Kevin the day before. Be mine inscribed in sparkly purple store bought icing as per request from Jacob, “It’s Valentine’s Day, you should spend it alone together.” You raise your eyebrows suggestively at the two men in front of you.

Kevin leans forward, one hand on his waist while the other one moves up and flicks your forehead, “get that pretty head of yours out of the gutter, Jacob and I are gonna romantically eat our weight in this beautiful cake you’ve made us, while watching the Bring it On series.”

“I’m trying to get him to realize why the third one is the best.” Jacob says pointedly, bumping his shoulder against his husbands. “Solange Knowles steals the show, but he doesn’t want to admit it.”

Kevin scoffs and turns to face him, “I love you and I love your love for the Knowles family but face it babe the best Bring it On movie is the first one, it sets the precedent for all the other movies.” He finishes painting the picture out with his hands in the air before kissing the others cheek.

You shake your head, silently giving Jacob a knowing look. Of course the third Bring it On was the best one, but you won’t ever say that out loud. At least not with Kevin present, he won’t ever let you live it down. Will go on and on about how both you and Jacob were wrong until he was repeating himself.

“It sounds tempting but I’m going to pass, I have my own date with my couch and heart shaped pizza and -”

“Your vibrator.” Kevin interrupts, raising his eyebrows, smiling smugly at you. The embarrassment taking over your body and rising out of your ears. Jacob rolled his eyes, hitting his husband’s upside the head, and a warning look. Kevin pouted, “What? I’m not wrong, that's what she does every Valentine’s day, I’m just stating the truth.” He complains rubbing the back of his head.

“We’re going to go now.” Jacob places both of his arms on top of Kevin’s shoulders, mouthing a sorry in the process. You brush him off, “the offer still stands, if you get bored you can join us.” He opens the door and pushes his husband through the door frame.

“I’m good, have fun and no Kevin you can’t sleep on my couch after Jacob’s kicked you out again.”

“Wasn’t planning on it, last time, I walked in on you and San -”

Jacob covers his mouth with wide eyes as he continues to push him out of your front door, Kevin shrinks at the realization that he almost slipped. It had been three weeks since you last met him, since he last reached out to you. The only thing you knew of him was that your mom had called you to tell you that he had finally gotten the promotion he had been desiring for almost a year. Doting over him like she always did. It had gotten worse when the two of you showed up hand in hand at New Year’s last year. You were proud of him. You wanted to hug him and celebrate his achievement in every which way you could. But you meant it when you told him that you didn’t want to see him again. You couldn’t trust yourself or your heart when it came to him.

“We love you, call us if you need anything.” Jacob said, sending you a kiss and shutting your front door. You smiled, listening to their bickering out in the hallway, standing there until they were far away and you couldn’t hear them anymore. They were characters, the two of them and even worse when they were together. It was why they were so perfect for one another, they completed one another in every sense of the word and it made you insanely happy, but also sad.

Sometimes you wished, whenever you were alone at night and staring up at your popcorn ceiling that you could have what they had with someone that loved you to the point in which they couldn’t live without you.

It will come, at least that what you told yourself whenever the tears stopped. You just had to be patient.

You were halfway through an episode of the Vampire Diaries, and your fourth slice of pizza when the knocking on your front door sounded. You rolled your eyes, quickly pausing your show and setting down your half eaten pizza slice in the box, before standing up. You obviously weren’t expecting anyone but you figured it was Kevin after getting kicked out again. It was never serious, this game both he and Jacob played. It was some form of twisted foreplay thing they did to keep things interesting. They had explained it to you once when you shared your concern for their relationship. Sometimes you wished you hadn’t asked. You could’ve gone living your life peacefully without knowing the details of their sex life.

“I’m going!” The knocking became more desperate the closer you got to the door, and it confused you. Maybe this wasn’t part of their roleplay fantasies and something had actually happened. It worried you. You could feel it all over your body as you grabbed hold of your doorknob. “Kevin is something wro-” You stopped mid sentence when you swung your door wide open revealing a very drunk and disheveled Sangyeon.

You brought your hand up to your chest, holding onto the necklace his family had given you back in highschool as a graduation present. You never took it off, it brought a sense of comfort whenever you were caught in situations that had your anxiety spiraling out of control. Situations similar to this one.

“What are you doing here?” You step aside to give him room to enter, inviting him in without a shadow of a doubt. You shouldn’t have done that, but the part of you that will always care for him was stronger than the part of you that wanted nothing to do with him.

“We agreed to be together every single holiday season and it’s Valentine’s Day.” He say, his voice slurring slightly at the end, evident that he had consumed more alcohol than what he could handle. “I can’t leave you alone on Valentine’s Day.” He finishes, his voice turning small at the end. He ran a shaking hand through his hair causing it to stand up in different directions as he paced through your living room.

You pressed your hands up to your cheeks, letting the coldness of your palms relieve the heat that had suddenly overtaken your body. “B-But we broke things off, we don’t have to do this anymore.” You drop your hands down and point at him and then at yourself, swallowing the lump that was forming in the back of your throat. “Don’t you have an event at work? What are you doing here?”

Sangyeon looks down, taking his lips in between his teeth, “I didn’t go.” He whispers before raising his head, his eyes welling up with tears as he stuffed his trembling hands into the pocket of his white washed jeans. You swore he didn’t own another pair. “I couldn’t go without you. I-I want to spend Valentine’s Day with you and the rest of upcoming holidays...But I also want to take you out on dates and binge watch shows with you and make love to you and hold you while you sleep. I want to wake up with you in my arms, and kiss you while you’re complaining about morning breath and make you breakfast.” He takes a shuddering deep breath before sitting down on the armrest of your couch, digging his thumb into the palm of his hands. “I just want to be with you forever.” He says, clearing his throat before letting the few tears he had been keeping fall.

“Sangyeon I-” You looked around your living room frantically. Your heart was beating out of your chest. The words that had fallen out of Sanyeon’s lips with ease were the last thing you had expected to ever hear him say. It was everything you had longed to hear him say for almost a year now and you didn’t know how to react. Should you tell him to leave to give you some space to take everything in? Or should you run up to him and kiss with all the love and passion you harbored for him? You were caught at the crossroads. was overwhelming.

Sangyeon scoffed, shaking his head before raising it again, turning his head to focus on your tv, avoiding your eyes. “You don’t have to say anything. I know you don’t feel the same way, I just couldn’t keep it in anymore. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids and I don’t know when you told me that you were seeing someone. I was so angry at myself for never being able to just confess and hurt that I had been too late.”

The air in your lungs caught itself in the back of your throat. You walked towards him quickly crouching down in front of him, taking his hands in yours. “Sangyeon look at me.” You swallowed, placing two of your fingers underneath his chin and guiding his head to face you, finally locking eyes with you. You felt so weak and full of energy, ready to kiss him until the two of you died from lack of air and you wanted to laugh. “We’re so stupid Sangyeon. This entire time I thought you only wanted me for sex while I slowly fell for you and now you’re telling me that you had the hots for me since we were kids...wow.” You smile, swiping your thumb underneath his eyelids wiping away his falling tears. “I’ve loved for a long time. I don’t know when I started to love you. Just that when I realized it I couldn’t stop.”

“‘I’m sorry.” He hiccups, his fingers wrapping around your wrist. “I’m sorry for what I did at your brother’s reception, but I swear on my grave that nothing happened between us. They were drunk so I called them an uber and walked them to their ride when it arrived.” He confesses, leaning down and circling his arms around your waist, guiding you to stand up.

He rests his forehead against your stomach sighing. “There’s never been anyone else for me other than you. You make me feel so stupid and frustrated sometimes. I know I shouldn’t have said the things I did that night, like you said I had no right to bud into your love life and being angry is no excuse but I was scared of losing you.” He looks up, his bright eyes pleading. “I’m still scared of losing you.”

You sniffle, bringing your hand up to his head, letting your fingers thread through his already messy hair, “I’m sorry too for lying. Clearly I had no plans.” You laugh lightly, pointing around your living room. “I had somehow convinced myself that lying about seeing someone else would be an easier way to end things, but it hurt so much seeing you leave knowing that there was a possibility I would never see you again.”

Sangyeon laughs, his shoulders shaking gently before he leaves a chaste kiss against your clothed stomach. “Honestly, that would be impossible, we’ve been practically married since the minute we entered this world.” He stands up, towering a couple inches over you, “If I hadn’t come tonight our moms would have forced us to talk sooner or later, I just got a little too drunk and beat them to it.” He presses a kiss against your head before pulling you into a tight hug, sighing happily. “I never want to be without you.”

You nod against his chest, “Will you remember this tomorrow?” It was a thought that had been running through your mind since his confession hit you full force knocking the wind out of your body. Though the few times you had a drunk Sangyeon in your presence he remembered every single tiny detail the next day. This was just your fear taking full charge at the thought of him waking up next to you confused, and walking out again.

He hummed, smoothing his hands down your back. “I’ll write everything that happened down and in detail. I’ll even describe the look on your face when I told you that I loved you. Which by the way have I told you that I love you...a lot.” He teased, leaning back and wiggling his brows.

You leave a light kiss on his chin before pulling away, unraveling his arms from your body. “I love you too.” You walked around him and sat on the couch picking up the remote. “Want to join me?” You tilt your head, your thumb hovering over the play button.

Sangyeon pouts slightly, copying your movements and sitting down next to you. “I haven’t asked you to be my official girlfriend yet.”

“Ask me in the morning, I want you to ask me when you’re sober.” You smile, kissing his lips lightly and wrapping your arm around his waist, leaning your head against his chest.

He makes a sound of approval, placing his arm around your shoulder, “Okay but I have another confession before you press play.”

“What is it?” You press your cheek against his chest before looking up at him confused.

“I already watched this episode, Elena and Damon get into a fight.”

“Don’t they always.”

“Yeah but I don’t want to watch it again.”

You shrug and press play, “Unfortunately, you have infiltrated my Valentine’s Day plans so you’re stuck watching.”

“I did it in the name of love.” He groans, shifting and pulling one of your legs over his lap, holding you closer, as the snarky remarks between the two characters start, sounding loudly through the speakers he had helped install when you first moved into your place three years ago. He almost told you he loved you that day, but then you had put an ice cube down his back and his mind instantly started thinking of ways to get his revenge. His confession hiding away again.

But now it was out in the open and finally he could love you the way he knew he could. The way you deserved.

“And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

#kdiarynet #kpopscape #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #the boyz fluff #the boyz x reader #the boyz fanfiction #the boyz fanfic #the boyz angst #sangyeon imagines #sangyeon fluff #sangyeon scenarios #sangyeon blurbs

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jonnnysuh · 3 years

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could we get along with svt in real life?

A collaborative series by @vernonsnostrils and me (Nala)!

A/N: Lately Bee and I have been doing daily rankings for fun and we decided to share our very very specific and dumb insights with all of you. For this one we're ranking who we think could tolerate us......... <3 Warning: Dumb info ahead

NALA:

13.Wonwoo – looks scary. I also have a rbf so imagine us together omg. Everyone would think we’re vampires. No one would want to be friends with us so we’d only have each other.

12.Woozi – I feel like I know nothing about him :-( He’s an amazing musician, and does come off as a little tiny bit mischievous. I feel like Woozi is the type of guy I have every class with but then we graduate never saying a word to each other.

11. Jun – I think Jun is funny as hell but he’s so quiet. I’d want to be his friend but I wouldn’t know how to approach him. Everyone loves him tho so he has his pick of friends and it does not include me LMAO

10. Jeonghan – (this one kind of doesn't make sense bc he should be higher on the list,, but also?? i'm the one who made this list so fite me) but I think that me and him are pretty similar. We both have a side that’s devious and wants to create havoc but we’re also the mom friend that takes care of everyone and with that I feel like we’d butt heads/ be the designated parents which is EW I am 20 years old,, I'm no one's mommy YUCK.

9. Joshua – he’s also quiet but I know he has a good sense of humour!!!! Hypes up my bad ideas bc he’s not involved -- but he will be giving me a thumbs up in the sidelines. I feel like he’s the type to make me text the guy I have a crush on “Just do it. What do you have to lose?” UM my dignity??? Tf Josh.

8.DK – The human version of a “pick-me-up” He is so “no thoughts, head empty” and I am too. Let’s go cloud watching !!!!!!!!! Let’s pick flowers !!!! A good friend to text on a bad day bc he will literally tell you the most embarrassing thing that happened to him, and even though you’ve heard it before it’ll still make you laugh.

7. The8 – simple, really. He likes art and I love art. He likes fashion, I like fashion. I feel like we could talk shit together LMAO. He has the most specific roasts but they’re always on point. I need someone who’s a little bit mean in my life <3

6. Mingyu – I know I could bully him jokingly and he’d take it (bc he knows I’m joking) but it wouldn’t stop him from pouting a bit. I feel like he’d be scared of me at first LMAO. We both share the hobby of photography so my ideal day out with him is just wandering around with cameras and taking pics of things we think are beautiful. Also forcing each other to pose in front of a dirty brick wall bc “IT LOOKS COOL, TRUST ME.” “WAIT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO POSE THO” and then he’d literally have to mold me into a good pose bc I am Play-doh

5. Vernon – The calm to my crazy, convinces me not to beat someone’s ass. Walks into my room to say nothing else but “Spaghetti” and then leaves quietly. Doesn’t talk to me for 5 months but will send me a meme at 5am bc it reminded him of an inside joke we had. Live-texts his emotions to me while watching tv shows, and shares new conspiracy theories with me. He’s a little bit too chill, I need someone ready to fuck shit up.

4. S Coups – is reliable and gives good advice bc he’s also a ball of anxiety. Nags me to do the right thing. Messes with me a lot. Would stay on the phone with me if I was home alone and told him I heard a noise. Says “Calm down there’s no one there.” BUT he’d also say shit like “check under your bed”

3. Seungkwan– I feel like we’re just as annoying as each other. He has the biggest heart and is super encouraging and thoughtful. Half the time we’re joking around, and the other half we’re fighting. Very much love-hate. Capricorns and virgos are a superior duo. I said it.

2. Hoshi– all round good vibes. Chaos and Loudness matched. Doesn’t always have to be around a lot of people bc he creates the fun when it’s just us two. The kind of friend I practice flirting on and everyone’s like ??? “You’re in love with him” no bro I’m just bored… we just do this kind of shit and he is IMMUNE to my lovey antics by now.

1.Dino– We bully each other a lot but we also have each other’s backs. Definitely not ride or dies tho bc we will tell each other when the other fucked up. We are sarcastic dumb dumbs and that’s why we like each other. I feel like he would only tell me how much he cares about me on my birthday.

BEE:

13. mingyu – i literally don’t know what i would say to mingyu. “tall man” or “what up big boy.” i would be scared of him until someone taught me how not to be. like i gotta hang out with him in a group setting for three months straight until i can say hi to him when i enter a room. if i saw him i would simply just Not See Him.

12. wonwoo – like mingyu i don’t know if i’d have anything to say to him. him and mingyu both have popular high school boy personalities and that scares me.

11. josh – besides being californian, i don’t know if we’d have anything to talk about outside of in n out and traffic. he’s too pretty for me.

10. The8 – i feel like we’ve been over this for me. he’s too intellectual and polite i wouldn’t have much to say to him. but i feel like we could talk good shit about other people.

9. jun – i think i get along well with people with quiet funny personalities. like the kind where you don’t have to necessarily say anything but look at them and they’re telling you what they’re thinking. he knows that i know. so he kept reacting and looking at me. i think it’d take a while to develop a friendship though.

8. jeonghan – i wanna cause chaos with jeonghan. i want to do lots of things with jeonghan i feel like he would give me piggyback rides while sliding with his socks on the floor. he would tease me and i would be offended for five minutes while he pretends to tell me he’s sorry (he’s not).

7. dino – dino and i would be like twins building a sandcastle on the beach. that’s our vibe. like the kids you meet on vacation and play pirates with at the pool. relegated to the kids table kind of vibe.

6. scoups – he’s like the type to play catch with the stuffed animal in the room while we sit on the floor and chat. like he just arrived and is asking me about my day and picks it up from my bed and we throw it around while talking.

5. seungkwan – i think seungkwan and i could sit and talk outside on the patio when the stars are bright. like we could sit outside and stare out at the stars while i talk about my biggest dreams and don’t even need to see him to know that he thinks the world of me

4. hoshi – i see a lot of face masks. hoshi teaches me how to dance while they rest on our faces, but they keep sliding off because we’re laughing too hard. he has immaculate vibes, like the type to say “here for a good time not for a long time” but it’s an absolute lie because he’s there for both.

3. woozi – although i like to joke that he’s an evil little man, i think we could talk a lot about music and he would be very happy to teach me what he knows, and we’d spend a lot of time developing ideas and growing together.

2. vernon – he has the personality of my irl best friend, like a slightly chaotic aquarius who is horrendously hard to reach like 99% of the time. he’s the kind of guy who would try to make dinner but end up fucking it up so horribly that when i come in it’s like smoky and awful and the fire alarm is going off, so i have to air out the apartment and go get takeout and bring it home to my burned smelling apartment and eat it on the floor of the living room while binge watching a new netflix show.

1. dk – i just love the kind of joy and energy he radiates, like would be excited to do anything at all if it’s with me. would love to accompany me on any task if i just asked, like getting ice cream at 10pm and he’d know exactly what kind of flavor he’d get so it could accompany mine well when we inevitably switched halfway through the cone. saves the bottom of the cone, the chocolate tip, for me because he knows it’s my favorite.

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youareinlovees · 3 years

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hiii i just send you the creative writing so uh only reply to this ask if you didn't get the other one by some chance and i'll send it again :D

Thank you for your service bestie 😁 I think it might be easier if I put it under a cut but omfg I'm obsessed with it and the dynamic is so spot onnn wtf

Hiiiii I bring you a gift!! I hope it's good, I don't really post my ~creative writing~ and this is my first time writing these two so hopefully, it'll suffice. Also ironically I think they may be one off the longest things I've written. Anyways ////

As he approaches the Belfast rental that served as his temporary home for the next few months, he can't help but smile. For the first time since they started filming he not coming home to a vacant house. Instead, this time, he's going to be coming home to his beautiful, wonderful girlfriend.

He's been looking forward to this all day, barely able to focus on blocking and script reading with the thought of her just blocks away weighing so heavily on his mind. It certainly didn't help that he had spent so much time the night before looking through her photos at the Brits. She had looked absolutely radiant, her beautiful features perfectly accentuated by her lovely outfit.

Gosh, he's so obsessed with her. She easily occupies much of his thoughts on a near-daily basis and whenever they were together he can barely get enough of her. They've been apart a few days now and even that was slowly killing him. He needs her. Need to be near her, to touch her, embrace her, kiss her soundly. And the fact that he's about to be able to do so makes his heart swell with joy.

Opening the front door, his heart beats loudly as anticipation grows in his stomach. "Honey, I'm home." He quips.

Immediately he's greeted by a white and brown fluff ball scampering around his feet. Chuckling to himself, he bends down, scooping the excitable cat into his arms.

"Hello there Benjamin."

"Well someone missed his daddy." A warm voice floats across the room and he looks up, a grin forming at the sight of his lovely girlfriend.

Benjamin squirms in his arms and he releases the fluffy cat before striding across the room. His hands land on her arms, covered by gray fabric that's soft to his touch. "I hope he wasn't the only one."

With a cheeky grin, she presses up on her toes, lips meeting his as her arms loop around his shoulders. Her lips are warm and soft and feel like home and he revels in her touch.

"He wasn't." She breathes after pulling back slightly. Her blue eyes flutter open, looking up at him through her dark eyelashes and he's fairly certain he falls even deeper in love right then and there.

Their next kiss is far shorter, though the passion is still there. Finally, he glances around the room and then back to her, eyebrow cocked. "Bring enough boxes?"

She follows his gaze and then laughs. "It's five months, babe, I have to be prepared."

He chuckles and goes to reply when her eyes light up. "Oh! And I set up my recording gear in the guest room. How does 'Kitty Committee Studio," She cups her hands, as if miming parenthesis, "(Belfast, Ireland)' sound?"

His eyebrows shoot up. "It sounds like you've been busy."

Her shoulders bounce up as she gives a little shrug. "A bit. I'm really excited for this chapter of our lives and I don't mind having a few crazy days if it means getting to spend more time with you."

A smile breaks across his face, his heart swelling with joy. She always says the most romantic things, things he couldn't even dream of saying on his best days-- though she's quick to disagree with him, citing his stint as "William Bowery" as evidence-- the writer in her popping out in all facets of life. He loves that part of her, seeing her mind at work as she pours her heart out, representing her inner feelings with the most beautiful sounds. It means a great deal to him that she loves him enough to express it so wondrously through her music. He's not sure if he can ever repay her for those amazing sonic gifts, his platform far less diaristic than hers, but he certainly tries his best to show her just how much he appreciates and loves her each and every day.

"What's that face for?" She asks and he realizes he's been gazing lovingly at her far longer than what would ordinarily be considered comfortable.

"I love you." The words slide off his tongue easily, an outcome of saying them for the better part of almost five years now but they hold the same weight, the same truth, every time he says them.

She beams, her eyes twinkling. "I love you too."

He kisses her soundly and then squeezes her hand. "Also congrats on being a Global Icon winner, love. We should celebrate."

"Oh yes! I'll get the wine." She nods and begins to head into the kitchen when he grabs her hand. It's a gentle yet firm grip and there's an amused look on her face as he pulls her into his arms.

His voice is low, a suggestive tone to it as he raises an eyebrow. "That's not the type of celebrating I had in mind."

"It's not?" She questions, tilting her head but he can see amusement dancing in her eyes.

"You're a Global Icon now, I think I need to pay my respects." He tilts his head, moving ever closer to her until their noses bump together, lips barely touching. He can feel her breath on his skin, smell her woody perfume. She's so close yet not nearly close enough. "Can I do that?"

She nods, skin brushing against him. Desire for her courses through his veins and with that simple gesture he finally gives in to it.

Their lips crash together, caressing and pressing against each other. His hands are in her hair, long blonde strands tangling between his fingers. She sighs breathily into the kiss and then he's met with her tongue swiping against his lips, a silent question of permission which he is quick to grant.

He can feel her hands on his biceps, fingers squeezing around his muscles before loosening and running up over his shoulders and to his neck. In turn, his hands slide down her back, slipping under the loose bottom of her shirt, his fingertips gliding over her hips.

Their kisses get a little bolder, a little more desperate, and soon he's pulling away from her mouth and kissing down her neck, nipping gently at the skin there. Her soft, breathy moans serve to spur him on and he sucks roughly on her neck, causing her to groan loudly.

He spends a few more minutes kissing across her neck, down to her collarbone, trying to cover every inch of exposed skin. Her fingers tighten in his hair, gently pulling him away from where he was kissing dangerously close to her pulse point. "Babe... No more teasing."

He gives her a devilish grin and then his lips are back on hers, frantic passionate kisses until they're both absolutely breathless.

Taking a small step back, his eyes scan up and down her body. "Get undressed." He tries to command but she merely smirks and gives him a wink.

"Make me."

A devilish grin crosses his face seconds before he surges forward, kissing her once more as his fingers pull on the hem of her shirt. The second it's off of her, he can feel his heart rate spike at the sight of her lacy black bra. No matter how many times he sees her like this, it will always send a bolt of energy racing through his core.

"Gorgeous," He breathes, bending down to trail kisses right above the fabric.

She utters a soft "ding" which causes both of them to chuckle. Her laughter soon dissolves into a moan as he expertly unlatches her bra and pulls a nipple into his mouth, his hand going to cover the other one.

He massages her breast softly, hand moving in sync with his mouth as he sucks long and hard. Her fingers glide through his hair, nails occasionally scratching across his neck, causing a shiver to run up his spine. After a moment, he switches up his tactic, his teeth grazing against her nipple as he rolls her other one between his thumb and forefinger.

Her moans grow louder and louder and the next thing he knows, she’s pulling at his shirt, trying to take it off him. He obliges, his fingers going to hook into her waistband in turn.

She's completely naked a second later and he can feel his pants growing tighter at the sight. His hands wrap around her biceps, gently guiding her to the couch as her hands stroke across his now bare chest.

"Sit." He urges her and she obliges, sitting down with her legs pressed together and a playful smirk dancing across her lips.

Chuckling to himself, he kneels down, placing his hands on her knees and his chin on top of his hands. Gazing up at her, he takes in everything. Her blonde hair falling across her shoulders, the amused cock to her eyebrow, the freckles splashed across her skin. Everything about her fills him with an indescribable joy.

"I'm really proud of you." He says after a long quiet moment.

Her playful smirk morphs into an adorable, breathtaking smile as she tenderly strokes his cheek. He returns the look before turning his head and placing a kiss against her palm.

"I love you," Comes her quiet voice, laced with adoration.

"I love you too." He ducks his head, placing a kiss on each of her knees. "Now... let me show you just how much."

Sliding his hands down between her legs, he gently pushes them apart. He weaves his way between her thighs, one kiss at a time, drawing nearer and nearer to where he knew she wanted him most. And then he pauses, mere inches away, and begins to kiss back up her leg. She lets out an annoyed groan, cupping his face in her hands and not so gently guiding him back.

Chuckling, he slips his hands beneath her legs, hooking them up over his shoulders. He pauses again, looking up at her. Their eyes lock and he gives a little smile before leaning in and placing small kisses around her clit. There's a gasp, followed by a soft whimper and he can't help but grin, his kisses becoming deeper in turn.

His tongue flicks between his lips as he travels down between her folds, giving an experimental taste. He can feel himself grow harder as he realizes just how wet she is.

And it's all for him.

With that final thought, he focuses all his energy on making her feel good. His tongue continues to slide in and out of her, tasting her with fervor. Her fingers tangle in his hair, her whimpers turning to low moans as he moves.

And then he pulls away slightly, glancing up at her. Her chest is heaving, eyes half-lidded, and her lips hang open ever so slightly.

"You're beautiful," He finds himself breathing and she squirms a little as the air from his mouth brushes against her core.

If she's going to respond, he certainly doesn't give her a chance, pulling her clit into his mouth and sucking roughly.

Taylor shouts his name, her fingers clenching in his hair. He barely notes the pain, however, hand flattening on her stomach to hold her in place as he concentrates solely on her uninhibited cries of pleasure and the contracting muscles beneath his mouth.

A second later, he slides two fingers inside of her, moving slowly at a pace he knew would torture her. His fingers reach as far as they can-- which in his case are very far-- and he gives them an experimental few pumps. Her walls flutter around him and he smiles-- mouth still on her clit-- and begins to stroke her walls, still sucking on that little bundle of nerves.

Her ankles lock around his back, thighs squeezing his head, keeping him in place. He can tell she's getting close, her moans increasing with frequency so he doesn't let up. Rather, he doubles his efforts, sucking and stroking, harder and faster.

It's sexy, so sexy and he looks up, maintaining eye contact with her even though her eyes are barely open. He can hardly see the blue peeping from below her eyelashes. The whole image is enough to make him come undone and he groans, the sound vibrating from his chest.

Her heels dig into his back, a long moan that morphs into his name tearing from her lips as she comes undone. He doesn't stop, still moving in order to draw her orgasm out as she twitches and writhes above him. Eyes never moving from her face, the whole sight imprinted in his brain, memories forming to torture him in the dead of night or on long trips away from her. But he doesn't mind, the occasional distance only serving to make the reunion that much sweeter.

Finally, her body sags and he moves away, trailing soft kisses up and down her thighs and over her hips. Her fingers brush through his hair, pushing it away from his face and then trail down to stroke across his beard. He's sure he has her coated all around his mouth so he licks his lips, glancing up at her to see that she's smiling.

"I love you," are the first words out of her mouth, causing him to drop another kiss on her hipbone.

He rests his chin against her stomach, a small smile on his lips. "I love you too. I guess it was good then?"

She laughs and then beckons him upwards with one finger. Obeying, he pushes himself up, crawling along her body to hover over her.

Cupping his cheeks, she laughs again. "It was amazing. Thank you."

Now it's his turn to laugh, turning to nuzzle her hand. "Anything for a Global Icon."

She tilts her head, cocking an eyebrow. "So you'd do the same for Elton John or Robbie Williams?"

With a chuckle, he shakes his head, "No, I like boobs too much."

"Oh is that all?"

"Yep." He ducks his head, peppering kisses over her chest as if to prove his point.

She cups his cheeks again, guiding his face back up to hers. Her face is twisted in an exaggerated pout, pink lip jutting out and he half-heartedly resists the temptation to pull on it with his teeth.

"Really?" Her tone is innocent but he can see the cocky look on her face and he loves it.

They're silent for a long moment, each party daring the other, a silent dance of who is more stubborn. But the strain in his pants is almost too much to bear, her smug looks not doing him any favors, so he relents. "No," He places a quick kiss against her lips. "I like you far too much to consider doing anything with anyone else ever."

"Good," Her hands slide up from his cheeks to hook around his neck, "Because you're all mine."

"Indeed I am."

Their lips meet again, this kiss far more passionate than the last. Tongues dancing together as their hands glide across each other's skin, exploring and scratching.

Pretty soon he feels her hands on his waistband and then the button on his pants being popped. Pulling back slightly, he gives her room to pull down his jeans and then boxers, sighing with relief as he's finally released from their confines.

Kicking his pants from his feet, he returns to kissing her, hands sliding up and down her sides. He groans loudly into her mouth as he feels her hand wrap around his cock, giving him a few slow strokes just how he likes it. He has to stop kissing her to grit his teeth. God, if she keeps doing that he's going to cum any second now.

His hand wraps around her wrist, stilling her movements. "Couch or bed?"

"Couch," She says without hesitation. "I want you inside of me now."

She lies down longways and he climbs on top, hovering over her. Grabbing her thigh, he guides her leg to hook around his waist, her other one following in suit.

His dick slides across her clit, the action causing both of them to moan and a moment later he pushes inside of her. Her mouth forms an open "o" as he moves in slowly, eyes never leaving her face. She's wet and warm around him, a perfect fit. It's like they were made for each other.

He moves slowly at first allowing both of them to find their rhythm. It gives him time to suck on her neck or her chest, little ways that will add to her pleasure. But pretty soon she's urging him to move faster, thrust harder and he's all too happy to follow her commands.

They move together, him building up speed as her ankles lock behind him, pushing him in even closer. Their moans echo together, unintelligible aside from the occasionally uttering of each other's name. Her nails claw down his back, too short to leave a mark but the action still arouses him even more.

He's close-- so close he can barely think straight-- but he's determined to get her there first. Hand slipping between them, he begins to rub slow circles on her clit, the action causing her nails to dig in further.

As his hand speeds up in time with his thrusts, she yanks his head down to kiss him only to tear away seconds later as her body convulses and she cries out.

Her walls clamp down around him, so tight he nearly collapses in surprise. A few thrusts later and he's a goner, body twitching as he cums.

When he can finally see straight, she pulls him down next to her, snuggling into his chest as they lie on the couch, hot and sweaty from their actions.

"Welcome home, darling." He mutters into her hair, pressing a kiss against the top of her head.

She hums in response, tilting her head to kiss him.

He has a great feeling that these next few months in Belfast are going to be quite fun.

#damnn anon #the talent <3 #lets talk swiftwyn #lets talk creative writing

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nerdywriter36 · 3 years

Text

To Help the Helpless

AO3

FFN

erik sees himself in all the sick, injured, and abandoned pets he sees in animal shelters and is determined to give them the love and comfort that they deserve in their time of need when he wasn't granted the same as a human being. christine and their friends could not be happier to help.

this concept was born out of a discussion about erik and his pets with @ofserien, so thank you to her for helping to bring this idea to life :) it's been so long so I've posted on here because of my hiatus, but the first oneshot I've written since officially returning to tumblr. i really hope you all enjoy it! likes and reblogs are always appreciated <3

"You brought in another one, Erik? Isn't your house full enough already?"

Erik simply rolled his eyes and turned to look back at Nadir, who was glancing at the variety of dogs and cats residing in their crates throughout his living room. "There is never too many rescues, Nadir, especially not when I'm taking them away from people who will put them down simply because they aren't getting adopted," he replied.

"And what's wrong with this one?" Nadir queried, gesturing to the puppy that his friend was carrying rather like a football - tucked against his side and laying along his forearm. "It looks fine to me."

"He had an old injury that was never fixed before he was turned in, so he doesn't look as perfect as people want," Erik said as he held the puppy up so Nadir could see his bowed front leg. "Otherwise, he is completely happy, energetic, and healthy, but people don't care. Looks are everything in this world."

His voice broke a bit, he noticed, and he knew that Nadir had heard it too. Every day was a different story when it came to how emotional he would get when it came to explaining why the animals had been abandoned and why their little lives were at risk. He hated that it still happened; he had been rescuing shelter animals for the better part of two years, not to mention the fact that most of his own struggles because of his appearance were behind him, but some days were simply harder than others.

He really was fortunate for all that he had to make his life as "normal" as possible, even with his physical differences. A prosthetic nose saved him far more grief than he believed people could understand and the mask he wore was so realistic and close to his skin tone, as remarkably pale as it may have been, that he hardly got rude stares anymore when he was out and about. It made quite the difference in his professional life as well; no one at the Paris Opera House wanted to accept compositions from a deformed freak, no matter their talent. His heterochromatic eyes were enough to put people off sometimes.

"I know, Erik, I'm sorry," Nadir piped up as he shot him a sympathetic smile. "I think what you're doing is great, you know that, I just worry about your stress levels. Not having to worry about you financially, but you're a composer making consistent contributions to the Paris Opera, you run an animal rescue, and now you have a girlfriend. That's a lot for one person!"

"Nadir, I'm fine," Erik replied, passing the puppy he held to his friend and smirking as it eagerly started to wiggle and lick at Nadir's neck and chin. "I'm managing it all, and having a girlfriend doesn't change much."

"Right, you say that now." Nadir turned his head away from the eager puppy, wiping his chin on his shoulder. "What is this thing anyway?"

"Australian shepherd, hence the energy." Making his way around the room, Erik checked the status of every food and water dish, but a buzz from his cell phone made him pause. As he pulled it out of his pocket, he couldn't help but smile when he saw a message from the new light in his life: Christine.

He still wasn’t exactly sure how he had gotten so fortunate as to have Christine in his life. After all, their first introduction had been at the Paris Opera House when he had nearly run her right over in his eager rush to leave the very same building. As intricate and realistic as his mask may have looked, he never enjoyed being out in public, and he knew that everything about him was under harsh scrutiny when it came to the committee of men taking his submissions and suggestions for the music at the Opera. He wouldn’t have become a successful composer, having his music played at one of the most prestigious opera houses in the world, without them, but with the way they stared at him whenever he walked in, it certainly wasn’t easy to face them.

“Is that the new light of your life?” Nadir asked with a smirk, watching the lovesick smile growing on his friend’s face. “What did she say?”

“Just ‘hi’,” Erik replied, his unmasked cheek already flushed pink as he replied to the message.

Nadir scoffed and set the puppy down in a small pen filled with blankets off to the side. “You are in deep, my friend. How long have you been dating, three months? And just ‘hi’ still manages to make you blush? Does she not make more flirtatious comments than just that?”

“Oh, like you were any different when you and Kheya first got together,” Erik retorted.

“Hey, now, that...that is not a fair comparison.”

It was his friend’s turn to blush and Erik laughed at the sight. Mockery aside, though, he genuinely was happy for Nadir; he had been through a rough patch before meeting Rookheeya one year before, his father's death hanging the heaviest over him and stealing so much of the joy that Erik knew was in him. Once he met her though, everything seemed to fall into place; Erik still remembered the moment Nadir practically choked on his drink when he first noticed her from across the room at a small gathering at the Garnier. She was a beautiful young woman who shared his faith, many of his interests and balanced out his almost painfully realistic views with the necessary imagination and optimism that he needed. A match made in heaven, if Erik were to pair a phrase to their relationship.

“Sure it is,” Erik replied, smirking when he caught a glimpse of Nadir’s lock screen as he pulled out his phone: a photo of the happy couple themselves, both smiling wide. “You’ve practically wanted to marry her since the moment you met, you’re lovesick.”

“Okay, I love my girlfriend, so sue me,” Nadir retorted. “And I will have you know that I plan on proposing in the next few days.”

“Well, it’s about time!” Erik said with a laugh, patting him on the back as the pair walked into the kitchen. “Congrats, Nadir, that’s amazing.”

“Thank you,” Nadir chuckled, crouching down to scratch the elderly golden retriever lounging under the kitchen table. “You and Christine have to catch up now.”

“No, no, this is no race. We are taking our time, I refuse to mess this up.”

“You aren’t going to mess it up, Erik.”

“I could. You remember how things ended with Lucy,” Erik said in a soft voice as he leaned over his countertop and scribbled on a notepad.

“That wasn’t your fault,” Nadir sighed. “She was a toxic mess, the end of your relationship was no fault of yours.”

Erik shrugged ever so slightly. “She ran off with some other guy and slept with him when we hadn’t even taken that step. I clearly did something wrong or she wouldn’t have left.” That breakup had hung over him like a dark, heavy cloud for weeks and still did at times. That said, the very same bout of depression and dejection had pushed him into the world of animal rescue that he still found himself in two years later, so for that he was thankful. Now, though, Luciana hardly ever crossed his mind; he had found someone to get him out and keep him out of that world of darkness.

“You didn’t, but anyhow, it doesn’t matter anymore. You have a girl that you love and who loves you, an amazing career, and an animal shelter in your living room. You’re doing alright for yourself,” Nadir pointed out. “Speaking of that, has Christie been over here yet? To meet the pack and all?”

“No, not yet. Believe me, it is on the list of things to do,” Erik replied, still scribbling away on his notepad as they spoke.

“That along with two hydrotherapy sessions, settling the new puppy in, getting groceries, working on your new composition, and going to see if you can pick up two tuxedo kittens. When do you have time to breathe, Erik?”

“In between everything. I manage just fine and I will slot Christine meeting everyone in. It’s a delicate process with some of these guys, you know that.”

Nadir scoffed. “Yes, I remember how slow it all was when you first introduced me,” he said, putting a hand up when his friend opened his mouth. “I know why it was slow, but that doesn't make it more enjoyable.”

“Right, well, unlike you, Christine is very patient, so it’ll be fine,” Erik replied. “She’s coming with me tomorrow to pick up those kittens, so I’ll probably ask her over after and try to introduce me.”

“Let’s hope it goes well. We wouldn't want you to have to choose between your lady friend and your pets. I don't know if you’d survive that.”

"Thank you for helping me today, Christine," Erik said, smiling over at his sweetheart, who sat beside him in the front seat of his car with two tuxedo kittens on her towel-covered lap (she had insisted on the towel, even though his car was covered with fur on practically a daily basis). "These two seem like a very sweet little pair. I doubt I'll have trouble finding them homes."

"Why weren't they getting adopted just at the shelter?" Christine inquired, an inquisitive frown on her face as she turned to him for an answer.

Which he did not really have, so he simply shrugged. "They don't let enough time pass to give people a chance, frankly. Not to mention that this would mean adopting two kittens at once, what with how closely bonded they are, and not everyone is willing to take on that kind of commitment."

"It doesn't seem like too much trouble." Christine looked back down at the kittens, her sweet giggle escaping her as one of them mewed and set its paws on her chest to get closer to her, almost inspecting her. "Hello there. You're not trouble, are you? You're just a sweet little baby."

Erik couldn't help but chuckle when he heard the voice she put on to talk to the animal - a light tone, using grammatically incorrect sentences, almost as if she were speaking to a baby. Which she was, in a sense.

"You'll have to help me name them. I name so many animals that I end up running out of options after a while."

"One of them - the boy, that is - should be...Sylvester. Like from Looney Tunes! He looks just like him, it's too good to pass it up!"

"A very good choice, I think," Erik nodded as he began the drive towards his home. "I'm not sure about the girl yet. Perhaps I'll call her Christine."

His girlfriend scoffed and glanced over at him. "Erik, you can't suggest naming any and every female animal you bring into your house after me."

"Why not? I like your name."

"I know you do, but once you get to Christine the Eighth or whatnot, there's a problem."

He couldn't help but laugh; her sense of humour and mild sarcasm had been part of what had endeared her to him in the first place. "I suppose there might be. I do like your name, though, I wouldn't mind it too much."

"Yes, I know that, and if we ever had a daughter, she would be Christine Junior, I know how much you like my name." She giggled again, and he noticed her look over at him in his periphery; he was just glad that he had his mask on so she wouldn't notice him blushing at the thought of sharing a child with her. "You need some new options."

He tried to shrug nonchalantly. "I...I just think it's a nice name. A beautiful name for a beautiful woman," he said softly.

The comment must have been the right one, as he was rewarded with a quick peck on the cheek. "You're very sweet," Christine replied as she turned back to the kittens and stroked their backs as they cuddled together on the towel. "So once we drop these little ones off, I suppose you'll just take me home? I'm sure you'll have lots to do."

There it was - his opportunity to make the offer to her to finally come over so he could truly introduce her to his life in its entirety rather than trying to hide parts of it. A glance over at her was enough to tell him that she was disappointed at the idea of having to go home, as she so often was, and he hated to upset her, so he would do his best to fix it as best he could at that moment.

"Actually, I was thinking...would you like to come in today?" he asked, looking at her briefly again and smiling a bit when she looked back at him, wide-eyed and shocked at the question. "I'll have to settle these two in, but I would love to-"

"Yes," she replied, cutting him off rather abruptly. "Yes, I would love to. Do I have to do anything? Not do anything? Can I help with anything, wh-what can I do?"

"Just be yourself," Erik said, unable to stop a quiet laugh from escaping him at seeing how enthusiastic she was. "Your sweet, gentle, caring self, my dear. That is all that I can ask of you when it comes to meeting the little pack that I have at home."

"That much I can do," Christine said with a firm nod, clearly very dedicated to her mission. "Thank you, Erik."

He frowned. "What for?"

"For trusting me with this, with meeting them. I know that their health and security means a lot to you, so knowing that you trust me to come in and make myself a new part of that arrangement that you have really means a lot to me."

"Of course I trust you, my darling. I...I love you." The phrase still felt foreign in his mouth after not using it for so long after losing Lucy, but he was making an effort to use it as often as he possibly could with Christine; she meant more to him than anyone ever had before and she deserved to hear that from him.

"I love you too," Christine said with a warm smile on her face. "Come on, then, drive! I have puppies to meet!"

"Are you ready, Christine?" Erik asked from where he stood at the end of the hallway, having just collected a young bulldog puppy from her kennel and was presently walking towards the bedroom, of all places, where his sweetheart was waiting. An unconventional setting, yes, but there was a purpose to it.

"Of course I'm ready!" he heard her call back, her excitement practically dripping from her voice. "There's a puppy involved, how could I not be ready?"

"Alright, alright," he said with a quiet laugh as he stepped into the room, the puppy starting to squirm in his arms at the sight of the new person and the sound of Christine's giddy squeal. "This is Lily."

Christine gasped, a hand to her chest. "Lily, oh, how precious," she said with a giggle. "Can I hold her? Or would you prefer that I didn't?"

"No, you can hold her. She's generally good with people," Erik nodded, sitting next to his girlfriend beside his bed and setting the puppy on her lap. "Just watch her back legs."

"What's wrong with her?" Christine asked softly, looking at the puppy's legs that splayed out behind her rather than tucking beneath her to hold her body up.

"It's called swimmer's syndrome. They can't really say what causes it; some people think it's hereditary, others think it's because their environment as newborns kept them from getting around a lot, even others say it was because of defects before they were born, so I'm not entirely sure," Erik explained. "Still, as bad as it looks, it's treatable, which is why we are here in my room."

Scooping the puppy up again, he stood and walked a few steps away to a sling apparatus set up against the wall and slipped the puppy into it so she hung with her paws just above the ground. "She'll sit in the sling for about 20 minutes every day, and I'll just massage her legs and try to mimic walking motions with her. I do this a few times a day."

He carefully began to act on the same procedure he had just described, smiling as Christine stepped over to join him while he carefully rubbed the puppy's legs and helped her to move them the way she would if she were walking as she should. He knew that there was always a risk that the therapy he tried to do for the animals that were struggling wouldn't work, but he was going to try his best. Very few people had ever tried to help him throughout his life, so he thought he would allow the animals to have that, whether they knew they had it or not.

"How many others do you do this kind of thing for?" Christine softly asked a few minutes into the therapy session.

"A few. Whether it's for little ones like this who have defects of some sort or for older animals who struggle with arthritis and different things like that, therapy does a lot. I do this kind of thing, as well as hydrotherapy, which entails me getting very wet," Erik replied with a chuckle. "But it's worth it when I see the results. True, it doesn't always happen, and they end up turning into hospice cases more than anything, but if I can try and get them back on their feet, as happy and healthy as can be so they can go to a good home, then I'll do what I have to do to make that happen." He turned towards her and smiled just as she cupped his face in her hands and drew him into a gentle kiss, distracting him from his therapy session momentarily. "You are one of the most kind-hearted people I know. You know that, right?"

"You tell me that enough, so I suppose it carries some truth. It's never occurred to me much otherwise, though."

"Well, you had better believe it because it could not be more true," Christine said with a grin.

Erik couldn't help but chuckle as he gave her another quick peck on the lips. "If you are trying to earn yourself brownie points or extra kisses or something, I admire your effort, it just might work out in your favour," he replied, returning his attention to the puppy.

"Fantastic," she giggled, leaning her head on his shoulder and watching while he worked. "Did you have any other plans for the day for us? Dinner, perhaps?"

"Yes, I was hoping you would help me with dinner," Erik nodded, letting the offer hang for a moment before he added, "For the dogs and cats, that is."

"Ah yes, how romantic, exactly what I had in mind," Christine said with a laugh. "Filling food bowls. I can't wait."

Ever since Erik had given her the go-ahead to come over and spend time with himself and his little pack of rescue animals, Christine had taken full advantage of it. Whenever she could manage it, she was at his house, helping him with feeding and bathing all of the little pets in his care, keeping him company while he was cleaning, and even learning how to do hydrotherapy on a few of the dogs that happened to need it. A couple of months had already passed since that day, unbelievably, but she had cherished every second that she had gotten to spend with both Erik and all the animals in his care. She found herself getting close to every single one of them, and she could see how happy it made her sweetheart; Erik smiled even wider than he normally did when she was around, a photo of the two of them with one of his eldest dogs - a golden retriever named Buddy - had become the photo on the lock screen of his phone while others had been printed and framed on his wall. She knew that he had had little joy in his life, but if she could contribute to that happiness along with allowing him to pursue one of his passions, then she would happily support it.

Getting to play with cute puppies and kittens while she was at his house was a nice perk too.

A short while into the arrangement - about a month after Christine herself had been introduced, - she had convinced Erik to let Meg have a gentle introduction of her own to all the animals he cared for. Her roommate had just about lost her mind when she had found out that she had finally gotten to meet all of her boyfriend's pets and hadn't stopped begging her to get Erik's permission for her to meet them until she had finally agreed to give it a shot.

Erik had been hesitant at first, that much was for certain, but she promised him that Meg knew how to keep calm and quiet when she had to be. Eventually, with a slightly skeptical expression on his face, he had agreed to allow her over to meet some of the animals, much to Meg's delight.

As Christine had predicted, the introductions had gone perfectly fine and Meg was quickly scooped up into the little pack Erik seemed to be steadily building. Their visits brought them closer to the animals, to Erik, as well as to Nadir and Rookheya, Erik's best friend and his fiancée. There was something endearing about seeing her sweetheart interacting with someone other than just herself; she knew that he did it for work and all, but watching him so at ease and laughing with his closest friend warmed her heart, even if Nadir didn't seem completely at ease around the animals in the house. For a while, their little group was complete and happy, enjoying every moment they had.

But not every joyful moment could last, unfortunately.

It was the middle of the night when she got the first phone call. Her ringer was quiet, true, but it lulled Christine out of her sleep, though she didn't bother to look at the screen to see who was calling. 'Whatever scam caller it is can just leave a message for me to delete,' she thought to herself as she rolled over onto her side and buried her face in her pillow to attempt to fall back to sleep.

Her phone fell silent for just a moment, but within moments, it had started ringing again.

With a huff, Christine sat up and grabbed her phone, squinting at the brightness of the screen, and saw her boyfriend's name and picture on her screen, which made her frown. It was just past two in the morning, why would he be calling her? Her heart was already racing a bit as she pressed the green 'Answer' button and held her phone to her ear.

"Hello? Erik, what's going on?"

Hiccuping breaths were what she heard first, which only serve to worry her more. "C-Christine, come over," Erik finally managed to say, his voice choked with tears. "Buddy is...something's wrong, please come over."

"Okay, it's okay. I'll be right there and I'll bring Meg with me," she replied, trying to keep her voice as calm as possible despite her own worry about the dog that she'd become so close with. "Have you called Nadir?"

"He's here already. Rookheya too," Erik said, sniffling quietly. "Just please come over, Christine, please."

"Okay, okay, I'm coming. I'll be there as soon as I can. I love you."

Not hearing a response from Erik told her how distracted and worried he was - he always returned her affections, and she wasn't even offended by the lack of reciprocation; she was only worried.

Christine quickly climbed out of bed, deciding not to bother changing out of her pyjamas given how warm it was outside and only grabbing a pair of socks to quickly slip on. Throwing open her bedroom door, she hurried next door to Meg's room, walked inside and over to her bed to shake her gently. "Meg. Meg, get up, come on."

She rolled her eyes when her friend simply moaned sleepily and pulled her covers over her head. "Meg, please get up. Erik just called me, something's wrong, we have to go over there."

That was enough to make Meg's eyes open rather quickly and she moved the blankets to look up at her friend. "What's happening?" she asked.

"I don't know, all I know is that it's Buddy and Erik is crying, so it's bad," Christine replied with a sigh. "Please get up so we can go."

"Okay, I'm up. Go get your shoes on, I'll be down in a sec," Meg said, clambering out of bed and shuffling past her friend to get dressed.

Within minutes, the two of them were in Christine's car driving towards Erik's house, the open roads with that time at night helping their travel immensely. Not knowing what was wrong was driving Christine half-mad, though she was drawing some unfortunate conclusions, considering the animal that was involved. If she was right, it made sense why Erik had sounded so upset; she knew how much he loved that dog.

"Nadir just texted you," Meg said softly, looking at her friend's phone while she couldn't do so herself. "Asking if we're going to be there soon."

"Just tell him that we will be. That I'm driving as fast as I can without risking getting arrested in the process," Christine said, managing a quiet laugh.

She saw her friend nod as she typed away, the clicking of the keys the only sound in the car. A moment later: "He says, 'As long as you hurry. Get here before'..." Meg trailed off at that, making Christine turn to look at her.

"Before what? What did he say?"

"'Before we lose him.'"

Christine's heart seemed to leap into her throat and, without a word, pushed her foot down ever so slightly harder on the gas pedal, just praying they'd arrive in time.

The two young women burst through the house's front door as soon as they arrived, Christine making use of her spare key. She didn't even need to wonder where everyone else would be; she knew that Erik kept that golden retriever by his bedside every night so that he could monitor him. Nothing had ever happened before that had warranted any action, but something had obviously changed that night. Drastically.

Bolting up the stairs with Meg right behind her, she quickly arrived at her boyfriend's room, which was completely dark save for his bedside lamp, and her heart sank when she saw him in the middle of the floor holding Buddy in his arms, Nadir and Rookheya close by.

"Erik, I'm here," she whispered as she moved to sit beside him and wrapped an arm around his waist. "I came as fast as I could, what's happening?"

"I don't know," Erik replied with a sniffle, stroking the dog's fur as he spoke. "They said he had more time. Not much, but more than this, I don't understand."

His words were drowned out by his tears as he leaned forward and buried his face in the retriever's fur, so Christine simply hushed him and rubbed his back. "I know, I'm sorry," she said with a quiet sigh. "You've done so much for him and for all the animals you take care of, Erik, you have to remember that. Whatever happens tonight is not a result of what you've done, you have done everything possible for him."

"Not enough, though. This wouldn't be happening if I had done enough," Erik managed to say through his tears, a sob slipping out of him.

Christine's own throat tightened up hearing the heartbreak spilling over through his words, so she was fortunate that Nadir shuffled over, set a hand on his friend's back and took on the role of the comforter from her; she couldn't trust herself not to cry, so she simply focused on trying to give the elderly dog as much love as she could possibly convey.

"Erik, you know it isn't your fault," Nadir said softly. "He's ill and I know that you've known that for a while now; you always knew he was going to be a hospice case from the beginning. You have to keep that in mind because if you don't, I know that you will blame it on yourself and you can't do that. He's had a wonderful life with you."

"He's right, Erik, you've given him so much," Christine said, finding it in her to dry a few stray tears and contribute to the conversation again. "He's had a beautiful life here with you, he knows that you love him."

Erik's only response was a nod as he lifted his head enough to gently kiss the top of the dog's head. "I love you, Buddy. We all do," he whispered, trying to force a smile as the dog turned his head to glance up at him, and Christine noticed Erik move his hand to rest over the dog's chest, clearly to feel for his heartbeat and wait for when it inevitably ceased. Not knowing exactly what else to say, she simply set her hand over her sweetheart's resting her head on his shoulder as everyone simply waited for the inevitable.

It didn't take long, in the end, and Erik didn't say a word; the way he muffled a sob and leaned over the dog to hold him to his chest told everyone what they needed to know. Christine hadn't quite expected to get as emotional as she did. She knew that she was attached to all of Erik's animals and that even the thought of her love in pain made her heart ache, but there had been something different this time. Erik had loved Buddy probably more than any of his other rescues, and she had a strong feeling that that love had been mutual.

It turned out that she wasn't the only one getting emotional; she had expected to see a few tears from Meg, and there they were, but looking over at Erik's other friends, she found Rookheya with her face tucked in the crook of Nadir's neck, the slight shake of her shoulders the only clue that she was emotional, while even Nadir - Nadir 'I don't like pets much' Khan - had tears in his eyes. Whether it was Buddy's death or Erik's reaction that had made him cry, she couldn't tell, but the show of empathy for what his friend was going through was something that she appreciated and knew that Erik would too.

Quickly drying her cheeks, she leaned over and gently kissed Erik's cheek. "I'm so sorry," she whispered as she reached up and gently wiped his tears away. "But you gave him such a beautiful life, just like you're doing for all the others you're caring for. They needed someone and you were there to rescue them. I'm so proud of you for that, and Buddy was proud too."

Erik managed a weak smile as he turned to look at her, leaning forward just enough to press his forehead to hers. "Do you think so?" he croaked.

"I know so, my darling. I have no doubt of it."

#my writing #i dont even know how this idea came to me #but it did #i apologize for the bit of angst #but i hope you enjoy it regardless!#e/c #erik x christine #erik/christine #poto #phantom of the opera #kerik #susan kay phantom #nadir khan #meg giry #christine daae #erik

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vivalavi-daa · 3 years

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Fav 2020 K-Dramas

1. Hospital Playlist

If there's anything I felt happy about in 2020, it's the fact that I've found my next ultimate fav kdramas. More than another, this kdrama feels like a home I could return to every time. Yes, hospital playlist is a slice of life drama that portrays the lives of people in hospital, but there's something about it that is so captivating to watch. I love how it realistically portrays the adults' daily lives & has no major villain of the story that heats things up whatsoever. Instead, I find it easy to emphatize with every character here, even with a patient who appears less than 5 minutes because this kdrama taught us that every life is worth it. And the friendship of the professors... it really has the power to bring joy & warmth to me.

(I also made a post about hospital playlist's characters study on my side blog. Here, if you’re interested).

2. Flower of Evil

Stories that revolve around someone who isn't capable of having emotions aren't nothing new in kdrama land. But this one, especially, is a gem. This one kept me on the edge of my seat because of how nerve wracking some of the scenes are. The suspenseful dramas, the mysteries, the romance...they're all so engaging to watch. I wasn't sure what to expect from the lead character and therefore it's exciting to see what was going to happen & to see how the characters would develop. And to be noted, I swear the cast who played the villain here gives off really scary vibes. He deserves an award for that alone

3. Mr. Queen

I'm not usually a big fan of Saeguk drama and yet here I am putting one on my fav kdrama list. I watched it merely to ease my boredom but then I surprised myself of how much I enjoyed this kdrama. The opening video was appealing & I love how entertaining Mr. Queen was. It became my weekly dose of serotonin (though it gets angsty at times). I thought the story's gonna be weird since it's about a man trapped in a woman's body in joseon era but heck, it was worth it; hilarious, and delicious (yeah, the cooking part) to watch. I've always known Shin Hye Sun is great at acting, but she truly nailed it in this one I swear.

4. 365: Repeat the Year

This drama is gold! It has a promising premise, and the rest of the story went better than I expected. It just never let me down. I thought it's merely about a time travel story, but turns out it's more than that. I never knew what to expect & every time I thought I figured something out, they always have a way to throw a surprise every week. This drama deserves more recognition imo.

5. When the Weather is Fine

This drama is a pleasant to eyes and heart. Watching it is like having a warm tea during winter days. I wasn't truly engaged with the first eps, but I slowly began to see how beautiful & heartwarming this drama is. Yes, the story pace is a bit slow, but I realized that it's important to make us understand each character deeply, what they suffer from, and how the characters slowly develop. It shows us that the journey toward emotional healing may take time, but it's worth it. Choosing to heal itself is a big step & deserves an appreciation. Another thing I highly praise from this drama is how it implicitly reminds us that if we do suffer emotionally, don't be afraid to ask for help, or to let someone help you.

6. Tale of the Nine Tailed

From the first moment I knew who would cast in this drama and what the drama is about, it's obvious that I'd love it. And I was right. The first eps had already got me hooked. The stories were amazing & funny at times. It has unique lovable characters that complete the drama. In addition, I love the mystical fantasy vibes and how they wrapped up urban legends in modern settings. Not to mention how adorable Kim Bum's character here. He & Lee Dong Wook's bromance is to die for.

7. Do You Like Brahms?

I watched it by chance, and then I fell in love the instant I watched the first eps. The drama is just beautifully done. It has soothing music & ambience and mainly revolves around good people. It's appealing how they portrayed the different perspectives between the lead couple--one who doesn't have talent but works hard to achieve her dream, and one who has talent but wishes he didn't have it. Though the lead couple has different dreams, I can't help but rooting for them... as I've never seen a relationship so awkward yet so real and so adorable before them.

8. Record of Youth

Honestly, it took a bit long for me to be completely enamored of the stories and feel what the characters feel. But as the stories developed, I began to cherish what this drama tried to show us: of how important it is to have good communication & to support each other in our family, of how everyone has different timings in life, and that everyone could have second chance in life. It's also refreshing to see the main couple here & how they interact; we could learn a lot from their communication & relationship. Overall, record of youth is one light & comforting kdrama that's perfect to watch while we need a short escape or need something to cheer us up.

9. Start Up

Honestly, I have a conflicted feelings towards this kdrama. It started off as great but...I have a hard time making sense of some of the stories afterward. And not to mention how we used to ship-debating every week it was a bit draining 😅. But to exclude it from my last year fav kdrama list seems wrong anyhow because I did love this drama. Idk, it gives off this positive energy that I needed to go through a crazy year. It somehow encouraged me to move forward & fight for my dream no matter what. The story's also quiet creative and relatable in nowadays world, while also educating us about the world of business.

10. Find Me in Your Memory

I started watching without any expectations and turns out it's really good. It's not hard to love this drama since it has likeable characters with interesting background (a guy who can't forget everything & a woman who forgets some of her important moments). The lead couple's interactions were interesting to watch. They have the kind of romance that grows slowly & when it finally reachs its peak, it burns. I loved every minute of it.

K-drama recommendations: 5/?

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syubub · 3 years

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2021 Reading for BTS and the collective!!

Wow wow wow! I didn't disappear or get dragged away by a demon. No no, I just got thrust into unexpected shadow work and I now have an unhealthy obsession with sea shanties and a love of pasta.

I had this idea planned to be early in January but that didn't pan out so I'm doing it now. I have another yoongi reading in the works and another fun thing coming soon as well!!

I promise I won't bore you to death any longer but I hope you've all been doing well!!

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact.

If this message doesn't apply, let it fly!

Cool cool cool.

Let's get it.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Oki. I first want to say that this I gonna be long lol. I did a meditation and gathered some little pieces of things y'all might need to hear and then I pulled cards for every month. The fountain tarot deck is the cards for us, the collective, and the rider-waite cards are for bts. It'll make more sense when I add picks and stuff. I did a little extra card pull for yoongi for the month of May too :) I'll make sure to type out all the cards in text so you know what they are (the pics are kinda wack.) I also used my pendulum to ask if there was a bts related event for every month and that's at the bottom. It's just to take in the possible energy for the month and something that could result from that energy!

LETTUCE BEGIN (hehe)

Starting with the section for the channeled messages. I want to reiterate that this was collective so if it doesn't resonate with you, the message might not be for you! Use your intuition.

(Enough talking. Damn)

So. As I said this was through meditation and connecting to the big column tree thing (I told my cousin about the tree/pillar and they were like,, "so basically a big energy dildo in the æther?" .... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. h e l p m e) and asking if there was any messages or advice that needed to be delivered and it was... intresting?

Things came fragmented. So there was little messages like, "Its gonna be okay" and "things are changing for everyone" and "open your eyes if you want to see" (that's sassy.) There was one particular thing that was confusing me though. Straight up it was just "flower" on repeat and like a really bad picture of a flower? Like you could tell what it was but it was bad quality. Anyway, I was like "okay. Kindly shut the fuck up. Pls." And I wrote down flower, pink flower and rose. Sooo.... idk but there you go.

More messages were things like, "the block isn't in your head", "try calling forth that which you seek" and... February. Possibly there is specific (very very very loose) connection to the 10th-19th? I'm not to sure what or why but I'd say maybe look out for opportunities on these days and also maybe external events.

Continuing with dates. In the last this 21 and January 21 came up. It came up again but with 2 messages. So first, either 21st is a day where something is put into motion (possibly private or public) or announced and the second was "add them together dumbass" that's not very kind but 3. Again this has been discussed too but but but... maybe a signal of a third mixtape 👀 (not necessarily on the 21st per say but possibly in March? I'm really not sure).

Oki. I got side tracked like I always do and started thinking about tattoos and stuff and I really want koo to have a peony tattoo. I feel it in my BONES. It would suit him so well. and as I was thinking about tattoos I heard, "don't be surprised if yoongi gets/shows a tattoo this year" ??? What the fuck? I think maybe they messing with me but now I have hopes and I don't want them to be crushed and thrown to the wind :(

Back to normal stuff, "the theme is growth" I think that fits very well with the reading. "Blue might be a lucky color" self explanatory. It might be lucky. "Start practicing grounding and centering" this was LOUD. This will help you in how you react to events in the future. Really do practice this if you haven't.

This is where it gets a little weird. So, I got a message that said "start living as if you never existed." I am not a 100% sure what this means but I think I have a pretty good guess. I hate to make it sound weird like this but by sort of focusing on something that is so hard to comprehend (because our brains can't comprehend not existing very well) you kinda break the 4th wall? Like in Deadpool when he addresses the audience and is aware that he is a character played by Ryan Reynolds? anyway, focusing on something that seemingly impossible you kind of accidentally open up the floodgates for a lot of other things. I would say if you are not in the right headspace to do this don't do it but it can be a powerful way to break up the monotony of reality. The theory that everything happens simultaneously bc time isn't a linear progression events blah blah we are energy blah blah the multiverse blah blah.. Theres so so so so so so so so so much about this and how it applies to things that I could probably write you 10+ dictionaries worth of material but for the sake of simplicity and not wanting to write a novel right now, I will continue. The main lesson is to start challenging your perception of the world around you. Ask why and why and why and why. Essentially seeing cracks in the matrix. Pulling your head out of your cosmic ass, realizing that rose you're smelling is actually daffodil ect. It's not supposed to bring you fear but just kinda encouraging you to question all the things that you perceive as given truths.

I tried to make that sound cohesive but really it's such a big concept that I can't really wrap it up all nice and neat.

Oki. May and March are also important times.

Listen to your intuition and try not to take everything so seriously. I'm not saying to check out and go squat in the Himalayas but it's important to find joy in the now. Life is already tough enough so don't forget to watch a silly show that you like or change your hair to a style you've never tried, wear makeup in a very loud way. Just have fun and don't worry so much about things that you can't control. Listen to yourself and your intuition.

Well that was all over the place. Let's get on to the actual tarot part now.

For the record, the pictures are right to left.

January for the collective

We have the empress, the sun, 7 of swords and a fortune that says "act well your part; there the honor lies"

Hmm. Ngl I was a little confused to see the empress and the sun for January... I mean it hasn't been great. So I pulled clarity card 7 of swords. The 7 of swords is all about betrayal. It's about the deception and and actively getting away with things. This is people lying, cheating, sneaking and the works.

This makes much more sense!! The Sun card is usually about joy and success and happiness but in this case I see it as illuminating the betrayal. It's shining light on the deception and keeps the spotlight there. Its also an energetic card so I think that shows passion for uncovering the truth.

With the empress card too I think January is all about getting creative in all forms. Creative ways to protest, to mourn, to celebrate, to connect. Also taking in the abundance that we DO have. The beauty that surrounds us. I like to think of aphrodite energy for this. Its not just love and passion and creativity but is also asserting yourself and having strong passion for what you love and fighting for it. Did you know aphrodite was also called upon in ancient Greece in times of war? She was honored as a goddess of war but still a goddess of love, the sea, fertility ect. What I'm trying to say is that being a creative and "feminine" energy is in no way weak. Sometimes the most powerful things come from this energy. Love aggressively with good intentions. The point is that you should take whatever you're feeling and translate it into something creative or something you care about. The fact that covid is still a thing really sucks but take any rage, hurt, sadness, joy, love whatever and use that shit to make something amazing. Bake bread and punch the fuck out of it, paint your frustration, play hopscotch in higheels while you listen to heavy metal. You get the point.

Now January for BTS!!

We have the death card. (I only pulled one card bc I have things planned from this)

January has been... strange? To say the least.

This card can be a lot of things for them. I think this points to more maturity in their music? Like they've finally ditched the "shiny kpop boy band" label and are being taken seriously in the west. I also think that they're going through a musical/concept transformation~ I think it also signified the change in plans bc of the Grammys perhaps they had things planned an that fell through so they were forced to rapidly change plan/course.

For January: possible mixtape or announcement.

February for the collective

We have 8 of coins reverse and hanged man reverse.

The 8 of pentacles reverse talks a lot about self improvement. Doing that good good inner work and self care. Working on developing parts of you that you've maybe neglected. It's also learning how to work with how you are instead of wishing you weren't the way you are. If you have a therapist its a great time to maybe ask for any extra tips that you can practice daily to help you even more. Maybe exploring more into insecurities relating to finance or jobs or your passions. If you don't have a therapist but you have the means to get one I always highly recommend. You don't have to have "problems" to see a therapist. Everyone could use a non biased point of view that is literally trained to help you be you best self. If you can't get therapy, I get it. Shits tough rn but there's still things we can do to better ourselves like Journaling and reading therapy blogs or self help books (not the taky shit) or trying a hobby you fell out of touch with. There's also a lot of places where you can get therapy promise on the internet. Most importantly, better yourself in the way that you need. Take time in February to take notice of what you want to improve upon. The 8 of coins reversed does come with the warning not to get stuck in perfectionism. Go easy on yourself and if you find yourself getting frustrated when working on projects, try to take a step back and practice whatever it is in a fun way and then come back to it later

Hanged man reverse talks about knowing that you need to chill but you don't. You'll need too. Maybe you'll find yourself swept up in work and tasks and you're over whelmed and know you need to stop and catch your breath but you resist. Why? Well, perhaps you're trying to ignore reality by filling the empty spaces with things and stuff so you don't have to face what's bothering you. Not wise. Take time for yourself. There's also the flips side where people are just kinda stuck.. creative block. Maybe you want something to turn out one way and it just isn't, so your stuck and frustrated and can't move past it. Let go of your expectation of how it should be and let it be what it is. Go with the flow and maybe you'll see a new way to overcome your problem. You'll eventually get that break through that you need! The theme of February is about self improvement. Listen to yourself.

February for BTS

We have judgment.

Hehe yeah. This card is about rebirth and the inner calling. Letting go of the old to step into the new version of you. This is also a very spiritual card lol. This can talk about a new decision that you have to trust your gut on. This is a very significant card that screams comeback to me. It also can talk about sharing your struggles with a group of people and that to me sounds comeback ish. Maybe this will be an announcement in February, maybe they'll be working on it idk but this is ultimate comeback energy so I hope they utilize this for a big group project!!

February: possible BTS comeback (even my pendulum knows)

March for the collective

The chariot and justice

This plays directly off of February! With the chariot you're taking the self improvement that you've done and putting it to action! Now is the time to act on the dreams and passions that you have don't wait and hope for the best. March is about action and standing in your power.

Justice card is cause and effect and truth. What you do will have consequences good or bad. Not doing anything also has consequences. Cease the moment and make the best of it. You'll be taking responsibility for what you do. You start a business? Now you have the responsibility of running it and you get the credit. Stuff like that. Stand by your decisions with conviction and trust yourself.

There's also the side of justice that talks about bringing justice. If you've been wronged, you'll be brought justice if you stand up for yourself.

We also carry the continuous lesson of learning what we truly believe and challenge those beliefs!

March for BTS

Oki we have the hermit and the 6 of pentacles reverse.

Well... let's start with the 6 of pentacles reverse. This can really talk about being so generous and giving to everyone else that you forget about yourself. I think that maybe they might be over exerting themselves and giving so much that they're exhausted physically and emotionally as well. I think too, they take on so much of our pain like its their own? Idk but this would be a good time to do a large scale fan project to show them a little extra love!

With the hermit card it talks about a self introspection so they could be looking inward as a team and kinda evaluating their bond.

I also see this as maybe being alone as in they maybe can't physically go to the grammys? Or maybe they had been planning the rescheduled concerts and they had to be pushed back even further? Things like that. Regardless this signals re thinking/reevaluating the goals that they have and considering what direction to go in!

March: possible mixtape or solo project?

April for the collective

We have 6 of coins and 3 of cups reverse.

Let's start with the 6 of coins. It's about sharing. It can be about charity so sharing money via donation but also giving time, effort, energy to people as well. Giving knowledge is good too! It's an all round exchange. Maybe someone lends you money or you lend money to someone. It's give and take. It's a two way street. It's also a card of balanced finance. So money stuff should be looking promising around this time (for you U.S people this could point to more stimulus help as well)

And for the 3 of cups reversed... I see this as reopening of places and people struggling to find the balance. So think people who've been in lockdown celebrating by throwing a big party... yikes. This card reminds that we should be mindful of the long-term consequences that come with our actions.. maybe also people that are experiencing fear of being in public places now. This is only one facet though. Bc I think this also means in general, missing being with friends and having a renewed relationship because you've really realized how important it is to have these people that mean so much to you in your life. Don't forget that you have people that love you and want the best for you. Call them when you feel alone.

April for BTS

The heirophant

Mhmm. This one kinda gives me vibes that they'll be mentoring people? Idk but I see them more as the heirophant teaching what they've learned/ know to help guide others. HOWEVER this could also be them taking a new task under their belt. Learning something new. Since this is as a group reading I assume that this talks about the group as a whole. This card is also very tradition oriented so maybe they are taking lessons that are connected to traditional Korean culture? Maybe its for RUN or maybe its to incorporate into music and preformance. Think bts mma preformance but all of them learning together? Idk, it's just a thought (maybe wishful thinking). It also talks about seeking counseling so maybe they'll do yoongis idea from the most recent RUN.

This can also be them embracing this kind of leadership/ status.

April: I got nothing. It does feel like something though

May for the collective

Five of cups and queen of cups reversed

Five of cups is disappointment, regret and self pity. Now honestly this to me looks like possibly a tightening of restrictions yet again. Regardless of the situation that this is talking about, the best thing you can do is not wallow in the bullshit. You scrape yourself off the pavement and move foward. You'll need forgiveness of yourself and others and that if shit isn't going your way, you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around bc there's options out there. It's like drowning in a kiddie pool. Just stand up, dude. The water is like 5 inches.

Queen of cups reversed talks about self love and self care. It's more of that look inwards energy. Think about really taking care of yourself. May might be emotionally draining so you need to be ready to take care of you! Part of self care is making sure that your boundaries are well enforced.

Be on the look out for codependent behaviors. Check in with yourself.

The queen of cups is very intuitive and having it in reverse can talk about you not taking enough time to listen to it. Make an effort to meditate for like 5 minutes a day at least. Do something to let yourself connect to your intuition and higher self.

May for BTS

9 of pentacles

This about enjoying the fruits of your labor and absolute abundance and luxury. This could talk about them rolling in the dough after signing a new partnership or having a concert or something if the sort. This could also be a time where we see them buying new things like houses, cars and rings (lol) but also this could be them doing a very high production value project! Also namjoon and his bonsai army are thriving in this time!

May: possible concert or scheduled concert event. Activity of some kind.

Yoongi interlude

I asked for one card to give me an idea of what the mystical May 13th really is. I got: the star, 2 of cups, 4 of wands, the world and the sun.

Guys. I can't with this. 2 of cups is a card of union, romance, soulmate. 4 of wands is celebration, joy, homecoming, bliss. The world is completion and the sun is happiness, joy, marriage, enlightenment.

I've said it a billion times but that's some soulmate shit. So soft so cute and May will be eventful for his personal life.

June for the collective

Death and the heirophant reversed.

Wow wow wow death is transformation and a new chapter so a new way of life and something new/ different that changes how we see things. Again this could be relating to new covid things and new policies and stuff like that but also new as in new to all of us. Groundbreaking perhaps?

The heirophant reversed talks about teaching yourself. Being your own teacher and making your own path. This might be spiritual or otherwise. Challange what the world wants from you and instead listen to what you truly want bc you don't need anyone's approval. Continue to ask questions about why things are the way that they are.

June for BTS

Page of pentacles

Oki oki page of pentacles means a new creative venture and manifestation. Maybe something that they've been wanting for a while finally comes to fruition. This might be the start of a new project that they haven't done before or something cross genre? Idk but its a really good sign of being motivated for a new endeavor and manifesting any projects that they've ever wanted to do. Love this promising energy!!

June: idk

July for the collective

10 of swords and 9 of cups reversed.

10 of swords signals a painful ending. Also deceit. Its a necessary end to a long battle. The only thing you can do is control how you react in these situations. You just kinda gotta surrender into the pain and know that it's temporary. Take time to reflect on what happened and why and how it will help you grow.

The 9 of cups reversed talks about valuing stuff and material things over emotions and spiritual things. This can be talking about society in general, that we are becoming more aware to the fact that there is often more value placed on ephemeral items rather than humanity as a whole. This also can be talking about coming to the realization that we've been working so hard towards... something we don't really care about simply because we were told that it's what you do.

If you want something different to happen you have to put in effort. You can't be sitting in front of a water fountain being like, "damn. I'm thirsty. I really really want water so why isn't it in my mouth yet?" Like?? Hello? You have to take the first step, my dude.

Certainly don't try to do anything that would cost you finatial security or health.

You have the potential to find happiness within yourself. So try looking inside instead of looking outward.

July for BTS

4 of swords.

This is about rest and relaxation!

Taking time to meditate and take some time to look at what you've done objectively. Ots like the hermit in a way but much more focused on resting and relaxing so you can come back stronger and with better direction. Maybe they'll take a break for a couple days but I really see it as them reassessing options. Especially if July goes how I think it will. Maybe they'll film something like In The Soop again? Maybe we'll see bon voyage type thing? Idk. But it could be something kinda out of the spotlight? Maybe something more healing?

July: maybe something?? I'm not sure but it seems like something might be in store.

August for the collective

5 of coins and the wheel of fortune

Well let's see. 5 of pentacles talks about isolation and a negative mindset. This talks about falling on hard times but its a temporary set back. This energy can be talking about falling on hard times emotionally as well. In the card it shows a woman outside of a church shivering and cold but she's too busy thinking about all that she's lost that she doesn't notice the warm church that she could step into for shelter.

But then with he wheel of fortune that talks about fate/destiny, opportunity and luck so maybe this is a necessary loss so that a new door can open. This does kinda tie in with July as well. The end of something is painful but it's often a necessary thing. Might be a bit uncomfy but that's how things change. Again I see this maybe hinting more towards society but none the less it's definitely a theme for August to have doors closing and new ones opening so be on the lookout for that.

August for BTS

The devil.

Now don't fret. The devil talks a lot about choice. Most notably the choice between instant gratification and and something more substantial and the devil leans towards indulgence. It also has a lot to do with the shadow side. This could talk about ~scandal~ sure, but I think its more of a time where you become aware of negative patterns and you shine a light on that part you've ignored. On a much lighter note this card talks also about an incredible bond between people. It can be unhealthy if not given space or boundaries. Listen to pied piper and come back to me.

I also REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that this card points to this: sexuality. The boys have always been pretty pg when it comes to the topic of sex and embracing sexuality so I really do hope to see something more daring and grown up and exploring a tastefully sexy concept. On the same vain as sexuality this card also talks about kinks and stuff like that so don't be surprised if we get more outfits like fake love Era bondage harnesses.

August: ???

September for the collective

We have the world and 10 of wands reversed.

The 10 of wands reversed talks about carrying burden. Doing extra work and taking on more responsibility. Doing everything by yourself and carrying this heavy load alone will get you burnt out quicker than anything. You might be taking on too much and you'll need to prioritize what you really need to focus on. I also think there will just be a lot happening in September for a lot of people. It's a lot of working hard because you know it's good work or because it's what's right. This could be social responsibility that's placed on you or work responsibility. For whatever reason this burden isn't something you want to share with others because you think its yours alone to deal with. It's not though bc you'll figure out eventually that if it hurts so much you'll find a way to lessen the burden. 10 in tarot is all about the completion of a cycle and going through the wands cycle is hard work because for anything to be made of passion, you need to put the work behind it. The burden isn't forever, the heavy work load will lighten but this is you seeing things out. It's a good thing!

Especially considering this is paired with with world. The world is all about completion and that's what you're doing here is finding completion. You are seeing things out until the end but you just need to learn to give up some responsibility, lessen your burden.

This also talks about hard work being put into wider social spheres as well. Things like the vaccines becoming more widespread through the whole globe or at least better planing and infrastructures not related to covid. Things are looking up!

September for BTS

Knight of swords reverse

This bad boi is restless energy. It's being so pent up that you're ready to burst and you really want to take action but you can't because something is keeping you from taking that action. Again I do think this is kinda covid related in regards to touring bc if they do tour in 2021 its gonna look a lot different. This energy can be a bit impulsive and directionless so I think maybe they'll channel this into album material something? I'm not really sure tbh. I'm suprised this energy didn't show up earlier because it almost seems inevitable.

September: no clue

October for the collective

Ten of coins and the star reverse.

Welp let's start with the 10 of coins. Its about wealth, financial security, and long term success so this is a pretty prosperous time. This talks about the obvious monetary wealth and material wealth but also an abundance of opportunities. So this is definitely a good time to enjoy whatever consistency you have. This energy is really really abundant in the career space as well. So October could be very prosperous in the job field and you'll have likely found what it is you really want and could be successful at. This could be the actual act or just the idea. This is could also talk about investing in something for your future, this could be time or money.

With the star reversed it can talk about a loss of faith and a disconnection. This often points to feeling like you've just been forgotten or left out. Like the universe doesn't give a shit about you and left you out to die. Things might seem unfair but always try to look for the lesson that you can take from the experience. Seeing the 10 of coins and the star makes me think that a lot of people have kinda lost faith in their manifestations and also just in the concept of not living in a state of need. Especially if you see other people doing well and you've been trying so fucking hard but you haven't gotten a break. I know we hate to hear it but this can serve as a test of faith. Or rather an opportunity to get your shit in line and take a second to breath. Do something good for yourself and then continue on. This star in reverse serves to show you what no longer sparks joy and helps you find what does and what that initial spark was in the first place. Helps you get back to the original vision/ spark.

October for BTS

5 of pentacles reverse.

This signals the end of difficult times and getting that groove back. The last month was restless energy with no where to go but this month that energy is certainly put to good use. They might be figuring out what has been missing In their lives and starting to rectify that. They are definitely reminded that material wealth doesn't bring spiritual or emotional wealth. Might be also feeling a bit alienated too.

October: something is likely but idk

November for collective

Six of swords reversed and the moon.

Transition and change is prevalent. The 6 of swords is about leaving behind the familiar. Maune this is leaving a job, a new change in the status quo, leaving a relationship ect. The thing you have to keep in mind is just how amazing this is in terms of what it will do. It will alow growth!! And bring clarity!! Thos can also be societal as well, something being left behind in favor of something new. It's letting go and reflecting so that you can move foward.

This is strengthened by the moon card. The moon card is the subconscious and all the things that come with it. The anxiety, the illusion, the uncertainty. You'll want to deal with whatever emotions come up. The moon can signify a confusing time where things aren't what they seem to be. That's the illusions so you'll have rely more on intuition at a time like this. Your dreams might hold significance in this time as well. Listen to your guides and your own guidance because it will help you understand more than you did before this journey began. Using moon cycles to your advantage in November might really help you!!

November for BTS

7 of wands

Challenge and competition. People are envious of bts. We know this. But people will be challenging them for what they've gained: music industry domination. This might co.e in the way that people will spread vicious rumors in attempt to disenfanchise or possibly it will be a fair fight. It could also be a challenge/ battle for some other aspect that involves legal matters.

My best guess though is good old competition. Bts has proven again and again that they will continue to do what they do how they do but they will not be trampled over. In the best way this could renew some of that spirit in friendly competition. They will tear eachothers throats out for a pack of ramen so maybe a bit of competition will be good for them. It keeps life intresting.

November: nothin

December for the collective

Two of cups and the emperor!

Let's start off with the emperor card talks about stability and order. It can also signify being the "breadwinner" so its a good sign that you'll kinda be on top of your shit. The emperor is also an amazing leader so you might find yourself taking on a leadership role too! This is very organized energy that works very smoothly!

two of cups is such a lovely way to end out the year! It's love and partnership and attraction so if you aren't in a relationship by this time you might meet someone who strikes your fancy!! On a none romantic relationship note though, this card is also great for business partnership bc it signifies that you're on the same page and have the same goals in mind!

It's harmonious relationships and trust between them!! Love love love this energy so much! Cups are the suit of emotions and this card is so promising.

If you are in a relationship, this can talk about "falling in love all over again" like you're just reminded of how good they are.

December for BTS

Queen of cups

Intuition, creativity and emotional stability. They're using intuition to guide their moves foward with emotional maturity. They are in a place of knowing what they want and why. This would be a good time to work on an album or a book or to release them. The queen of cups is like the friend that you can tell absolutely anything and somehow they have a helpful answer. This card is really calm and it can also talk about subconscious thoughts.

I think that bts is maybe making more of a conscious effort to make sure that what they do is just as emotionally fulfilling for them as it is for us! They might be kinda pondering the future at this time and considering if this is what fills their emotional cup!

December: possibly a thing?

Now these cards are the vibe of the year and some advice.

For the collective (on the left)

Three of swords and judgment reverse.

The fortune says "accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory"

The 3 of swords is about disappointment and hurt and heartbreak. It's about the emotional release that we all need when shit gets tough. Don't pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, fucking cry. This year is about letting go of expectations and do what you have to do to release so you can move foward and not have these things pile up.

You have to make an effort to not let yourself take on what other people think of you. You aren't defined by what some asshole says. You define yourself.

Judgment reverse is about self doubt and ignoring your path. It's being stagnant and being harsh on yourself. This year has a focus on building yourself up and noticing when you are not. Bring light to the things that are holding you back without harsh judgment for yourself. You can't beat yourself up. If you make a bad decision you know not to make it again. Take accountability and move on.

The oracle card is inner temple.

Seriously all the focus of this year is in self improvement and dear god, please take time to work on yourself spiritually!!! Everything you want to know is there if you take the time to listen. This should be a place where you feel safe and welcome. It definitely should not feel like something you HAVE to do.

For BTS

10 of swords and page of swords

The fortune says "you create your own stage. The audience is waiting" (how tje fuck?? This is the perfect fortune)

The 10 of swords is a painful but necessary end. This is accepting the current situation. They maintain focus for 2021 for them is adapting and keeping their spirits up.

With the page of swords it talks about new ideas and that kind of creativity. It's also a lot about communication so I really think that they'll be figuring out new ways to connect and new projects that will be prosperous.

The oracle card is Pleiades

This is what we talk about all the time. Bts has helped so many people want to be better and do better. They are uplifting humanity and giving people a sense if belonging. Bts finds you when you need them most 💜💜💜

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow I had to write this up over 2 days bc this was so fucking long. I need a nap. Idk if I'll proof read this before I post it so don't hate me for the mistakes (honestly, there's like 10,000 spelling and grammar mistakes in my other posts too 🙃)

I hope you guys enjoyed it and maybe this will be helpful to to have a forecast of some possible energy for you to look out for!!

Also bts bc I love them. I have another bts 2021 reading I'll do soon too!

Hope you guys are happy and well 💜

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dapandapod · 3 years

Text

A fathers tears

Here is my second piece for the Bog Fluff Battle! (Go give all entries a read! It’s lovely and oh so fluffy!) This story Here on Ao3.

This story is about Geralt crying as little Ciri grows up. It is a alternate universe where Geralt is still a witcher and Jaskier a half elf, implied homophobia and evil headmasters are mentioned. I just wanted Geralt to be a soft and emotional father.

Prompt: I just want you to be happy.

Oh, and everyone is gay, as a treat, because fuck you evil laywer Calanthe. Please enjoy <3

It has been a long process.

So much paperwork, so many sleepless nights, so many phonecalls with the agency.

But finally, finally, they're about to sign the paper.

Geralt's heart feels like it’s three times too big, beating with fear and excitement.

He walks up the stairs, opens the door to the adoption agency. Finally, finally he and his partner are allowed to adopt.

Finally, finally, Geralt will be allowed to hold baby Cirilla in his arms.

They had to fight every bit of the way, him and Jaskier, against the lawyer Calanthe.

She's is still against same sex marrige, still against their adoption, still against interracial couples. She hates elves with a passion, and Jaskier being a half elf didn’t help in the least.

But they won. They finally, finally won.

Jaskier holds his hand while they sign, the pen shaking in his grip. Jaskier holds him close when they sit in the waiting room, his support and love the only thing keeping Geralt in place.

When the social worker comes in, Geralt can’t move.

Ciri is so tiny, just a little bundle of blankets in the carrier, fast asleep.

Jaskier is the one who finally stands, who finally takes their daughter's carrier. They loathe to wake her up, so silently, ever so silently, they carry her out.

Carry her home.

Only when they are safe within their home, only when they are standing by the crib they placed by the wall, Geralt feels brave enough.

Jaskier has been cradling her, rocking her and petting her soft, light hair.

Now Geralt reaches for her, holds a hand under her small head and pulls her to his chest.

She makes a small noise, a small snuffling sound, but calms. Her small baby hand comes up to her lips, sucking on her fingers as she burrows closer in Geralt's shirt.

Jaskier walks behind Geralt, wraps his arms around his waist, and rests his head on his shoulder.

“She is our daughter now.” He whispers, and finally something breaks in Geralt.

He draws in a shuddering breath, hot tears rolling down his cheeks like they haven’t for years. Jaskier kisses his neck, all three of them rocking gently back and forth to soothe each other.

They go about their new daily routine.

Bottle feeding, naps, changing diapers, kissing away tears. Jaskier is taking a bath before bedtime, after his very first dose of baby puke, and Geralt lies alone in bed with Ciri.

His daughter.

Geralt is laying on his side, just watching her. She is fighting sleep, scrunching up her tiny nose, opening and closing her tiny fists.

“Daughter,” Geralt says out loud, not for the first time. “You are my daughter and I’m… I’m your… dad….”

The tears are creeping up on him again, and he follows Ciris example, scrunching his nose and blinking hard.

“You are my world now, little one. I will love you as well as I can. Keep you safe in the world. I hope to bring you joy, daughter mine.”

Geralt speaks softly, quietly, testing out the words. He speaks them like a secret, like a confession in the darkness. Not even in front of Jaskier will he be able to speak these truths.

“I just want you to be happy, little one.” He says, stroking her soft cheek.

Her hands catch his fingers, squeezing them, and then putting them in her mouth. He smiles, letting her chew on him. She doesn’t have teeth yet, but when she does, he bets she will be fierce.

When Jaskier walks in the room, he finds their daughter fast asleep, Geralt's big hand in a tight grip.

The first time Ciri calls Geralt ‘dad’, her eyes sparkling and small white teeth in a grin, it’s a near thing again. They decided Jaskier will be ‘papa’ and Geralt ‘dad’, for simplicity.

“Daaa!” she yells, throwing herself in Geralt's arms with the shrieking kind of giggle only a toddler can pull off, trusting Geralt to catch her.

He always does, and he always will.

“Little one.” He smiles, scooping her up and twirls them around in a tight circle. He peppers her snotty little face in kisses, the baby smell soft and warm and full of comfort.

“I love it when you are happy.” He whispers in her hair, but she doesn’t have time for that. She wriggles and twists and turns, so he puts her down, and she makes her wobbly way over to Jaskier.

“Papaaa!” She yells, and this time it is Jaskiers turn to catch. He is sitting on the the couch with his arms wide and waiting.

Next to him sits Roach, a stray cat Jaskier decided they simply had to adopt, despite cats reluctance to witchers.

Roach watches Ciri, blinking slowly at her with her tail twitching, and then Ciri is all caught up in Jaskiers arms and hoisted high. This is Ciris favorite game, and Geralt can feel the sting in his eyes when he watches the three favorite beings in his entire world.

A scabby cat, a small magical baby and a half elf, the man of his dreams.

“Daa sad?” Ciri asks, twisting in Jaskiers arms to watch Geralt.

Jaskier presses a kiss to the side of her face.

��I think dad is happy, darling.” Jaskier tells her.

Their little one is growing up so fast.

Her magic acted up early, and earned her a place at Aretusa, a school with teachers specialized in handling magic and it’s dealings.

Geralt was sceptical at first, but when Ciri came home, bubbling with energy and happiness and telling them all about her new best friend Dara, favorite teachers Triss and Yenna, and they are married, dads!! Married!

And all doubts melt away. The world around them has come a long way.

When Jaskier tucks her in that night, she asks Jaskier why he and Geralt aren’t married yet.

And Geralt cries silently in the hallways when Jaskier kisses her and whisper conspiratorially.

“Maybe you should help me ask him, hm?”

Ciri wants to work as a witcher, and Geralt's heart breaks.

He tells her no, please, little one, choose something else, anything else. They have a big fight, Geralt's words failing him when Ciri’s own tears fall.

“I am already accepted in Kaer Morhen, dad.” She yells. “I just wanted you to be proud of me.”

“I am, cub. I always am.” He says quietly, and they stare at each other.

Jaskier says she takes after him, and Geralt can see it now. She is so stubborn and fierce. He’d like to think that she took the best of them both, and he thinks she did.

“I just want you to be happy.” He whispers, wiping the tears from his stubbled and scarred cheeks. “I don’t want you to end up like me.”

“Aren’t you happy, dad?” She asks, voice wavering and fists clenched at her sides.

“I am now.” he says. “With you, Jaskier, and even that wretched cat in my life. But Kaer Morhen-”

“-It’s not the same as 90 years ago. No mutagens. No experiments or forced orphans. I looked into it. Vesemir runs it now, and they have changed the ways to be a witcher.”

He pulls his little one close. Hugs her small frame, kisses the top of his head. He never told her about those days, but she is a big girl now. Intelligent and independent and strong. She must have googled the horrors of Kaer Morhen, seen his drawn face whenever the old principal Stregobor was shown on Tv.

“I trust you, cub.” He whispers in her hair, and she sniffles into his shirt. “I just don’t want you to be as broken as me. I want you safe, and happy.”

“You taught me love like no one else, daa.” She says, and they cry together in the tiny, worn kitchen, sun shining in through dirty windows.

Jaskier holds his hand when they walk up the stairs. Holds him close when they sit in the first row in the temple.

Ciri stands by the altar, her eyes bright and nervous, her usually wild hair pulled up in a neat braid, fitting for the Skellige isles. Her dress is creamy white, flowing, and she is no longer the little girl that used to play dress up in their living room.

A grown woman stands there, a single flower in rich blue in her hand.

Everybody stands when the door opens behind them. Warriors on all sides raise their spears in salute, creating an arch for their queen to walk through.

Cerys appears in the doorway, every bit as regal as last he saw her, dress a rich blue and furs thrown over her shoulders, a single flower in creamy white in her hand.

Maybe he should be watching the queen.

Maybe he should pay his respect, but Geralt has eyes for nothing but his girl.

Behind him, he can hear Triss muffle a sob, and Geralt feels his own resolve break.

Ciri is watching her queen. Her hands are shaking, her breath coming fast, feet squared as if for battle. But her eyes are filled with such devotion and happiness, and Geralt's tears are spilling over.

Jaskier lifts their joined hands to his lips, and presses a kiss over his scarred knuckles. A wedding band adorns Geralt's finger, a matching one on Jaskier.

Soon their little girl will wear one of her own.

Geralt leans over to Jaskier and whisper in his ear.

“I love you. With all of my heart.” he says, as Ciri says those exact words to Cerys in front of the altar. “I am so glad she is happy.”

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