#he came out p much exactly how i always imagined him yay!!

[birdsong-warriors]

Thornclaw! :D

#I have to design him and Bracken for future pages #he came out p much exactly how i always imagined him yay!! #thornclaw #bird designs

[flowercrown-bucky]

As it turns out, adventuring in the unconscious mind is super overrated.

Fandom: 1970s!Loki Multi-Chapter

Pairing: Loki x ConArtist!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, drinking, drug references, later death, later smut, crime, loki and the reader are con artists..... It’s a wild one y’all, hold onto yo’ seats.

.Word Count: Lots

Chapter One

[Something Wicked This Way Comes - Chapter Two] 

Loki’s life on Asgard has become vapid; uninspiring. He’s got the taste for a little danger. During a trip to earth, he finds just the danger he’s looking for.A partner in crime - in every imaginable sense. 

TAGLIST IS OPEN - EITHER COMMENT OR MESSAGE ME TO BE ADDED

Authors’ Note: When I worked as a barmaid, one of my regulars used to refer to his wife as ‘the current Mrs Osbourne’. I always found it funny, and I snuck it in here. 

Also - I’m back. Yipee ki yay, motherfuckers.

You sighed as you slept, your breasts heaving.

Loki turned on his side, running the tips of his fingers over your sleeping form. The thin blanket was draped over you, not quite thick enough to warm your body properly. 

You snored, he had noticed, and it had bothered him to no end. As a god, he was required to sleep very rarely, which left him with nothing better to do than watch you sleep, most nights. 

He was intrigued by your mind. He had never entered a consciousness quite like it before, and the mystery of the contents of the shelves was really getting on his nerves. 

Over the last few weeks, you’d been sharing a room. After all, it was cheaper to have one room and it helped maintain the pretence that you were husband and wife. 

Your system had become fairly streamlined, and you’d become quite comfortable in each others’ presence. Comfortable enough that you’d allow yourself to sleep and trust him to protect you. After all, your body was a powerful asset, and you would rather it remained in one piece. 

Your unconscious mind, however, was a mystery to Loki, and one he fully intended to investigate.  

He lifted his hand, pressing his palm against your forehead. 

He looked around, briefly. It was just ask dark as it had been before, and just as empty. 

He wandered towards the boxes again. What was stored in your mind that you so badly needed to hide? You had revealed everything to him, but not your mind, and that was a concept he really, really struggled with. 

He grabbed at the handle, jiggling it with all his might, but it just wouldn’t budge. 

“I told you never to invade my mind again.” Your voice startled him. 

“You’re supposed to be asleep.” He spun on his heel. 

“And you are most certainly not supposed to be inside my head, so don’t try to take the highroad with me.” You crossed your arms over your chest. 

“You’re supposed to be asleep.” He repeated, blinking incredulously. “Your body is asleep. How are you not asleep?” 

“Are you broken, or owt?” You raised your eyebrow. “As you can well see, I am not asleep. I find it suits me to be at least partially conscious at all times.” 

“Are you always like this when you’re sleeping?” He eyed you suspiciously, sat once again on your chair. 

During the short period of time he’d known you, he had discovered that you found it very difficult to sit normally on a chair, opting instead for a number of uncomfortable looking and seemingly anatomically impossible positions. It didn’t annoy him as much as had he thought it might. 

He’s asked you about it once. You’d mentioned that you had been briefly employed as a contortionist, but brushed it off whenever he tried to bring it up again. 

In all honesty, it wasn’t the most unusual thing he’d discovered about you. 

“Yup.” You popped the P. “And yes, that does mean that your midnight perving has not gone unnoticed.”  

“I do not perv.” He rested one hand on his hip. “I observe interesting things. You happen to be interesting.” 

“Well, I sure am glad you think so.” You drawled. “Anyhoo, to what do I owe the pleasure of this little midnight intrusion?” 

“Are you ever going to tell me what’s in all these boxes?” He asked. 

“Trust me when I say it is best for our combined safety that I don’t.” You looked straight into his eyes. 

He hated when you did that. The only other person who had ever looked at him was that same intensity was his mother, and she had always had quite the knack for staring straight into his soul. 

Come to think of it, so did you. 

--

Loki shifted his weight in his seat, lifting his eyes from the steadily melting ice cube in his glass to the pair of breasts that had shifted into his line of vision. They were, he noted, rather nice breasts. Large. 

“Another drink?” A smooth voice asked him. 

“I’m good, thanks.” He cleared his throat, waving a hand dismissively. With the assistance of his unique talents, the evening’s entertainment had left him rather better off than he had started. 

To any other man, being dealt a three and a seven as a holecard in your first game of the evening would surely be a bad sign of things to come. But Loki was no ordinary man, and with a little coercion his cards had switched themselves out for a slightly better hand. Never a pair of aces, he had learned, it was much too suspicious. No, two queens were his weapon of choice. 

But, as ever, if you made a man a fool, he would call you a thief. 

It did not bother him much. He had been called far worse.  

He’d had no need for your quick hands and easy deceptions in his games this evening - but you were, as ever, his charming accomplice, as pretty and poisonous as you had been the night you met him. 

His eyes were on you now, and it seemed he was not alone in that. You were slightly distracted as you crossed the room, one hand running through your hair to smooth it. Your carefully outlined eyes had smudged ever so slightly, the seam that ran down your left thigh slightly askew. 

“Really? Him?” He raised one eyebrow as you approached him. 

“What? He’s cute.” You stuck your tongue out at him. “Sort of.” 

“Finished?” He continued, holding out his hand. 

“He certainly is.” You raised your eyebrows. 

He pulled a face at you, and you couldn’t help but grin as you reached your hand into the side of your dress. This was, he had learned, your favourite place to keep things you would rather not lose - with the exception of your handgun, of course, which was always either tucked into the band around your thigh or under your pillow whilst you slept. 

He wondered briefly how the hell you explained why you were in immediate possession of a 10mm glock to the gentlemen you entertained. 

A tiny metal key dangled between two of your delicately manicured nails, and he grinned. 

“You beauty.” He held his hand out further to you, palm up, waiting for you to drop it. 

“Tut, tut, tut. Where are your manners?” You teased. “Ask nicely.” 

He stared at you incredulously. You tilted your head to one side, sticking your tongue out mockingly. 

“You are an infernal nuisance, you know that?” He rolled his eyes, leaning over to grab your arm and tug you into his body. You were supposed to be his wife, after all. 

“So I’ve heard. Now, if you want the candy..” You leaned into him, your voice dropping to a low whisper. “You’ve got to play ball.” 

Your lips brushed gently against his jawbone, nothing more than a chaste brush of skin, leaving a burning trail in their wake.

“You know I could just kill you, right?” He turned to you, trailing his fingers down your arm, his own wrapping round your waist. 

“But what would be the fun in that?” You blinked up at him innocently. 

If he wasn’t a god, if he didn’t have so much self restraint, he would be melting in your hands. 

He felt a gentle jingle and a slight weight in his back pocket, followed by the gentle brush of your fingers across his bum. 

“You know, a good fuck would really sort out your little attitude problem.” He mused, turning to face you.

“Nice try, Loki.” You rolled your eyes. “And, well..” You waved your hand at the gentleman who had been your evening’s companion. 

“I said good.” He chuckled. “And by the way, darling, you really shouldn’t touch a man’s bum like that. Leads the mind to all sorts of unsavoury places.”

“You fucking wish.” A very un-ladylike snort left your mouth. 

“Mr Evans, who exactly might this delightful young thing be?” A sharp voice drew his attention. 

He glanced up at the man standing before him. He was tall, taller than Loki, and thin, like one of of those gross spiders you find in the corner of your room. His face was drawn, likely from stress, he concluded . A smattering of whiskers littered his chin, a slightly unpleasant twinkle in his lined eyes. 

“My lovely lady wife.” He smiled, pulling you in to him a little tighter. “The current Mrs Evans.” 

You turned your head in such a way that only he could see you rolling your eyes.

“Charmed, I’m sure.” You turned back to face your company, a tight lipped smile curving on your face. “I do apologise, but I don’t believe we’ve met before.” 

“It does seem that way, so please, allow me to introduce myself.” He took your hand in his own, lifting it to his face and pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. “Roger Slater. I was just chatting to your husband here, not twenty minutes ago.” 

Something about the way he was looking at you made Loki grab you a little tighter. 

“Would you like anything to drink?” He asked, trying to remain as polite as he was able. “I’m sure my fine lady can assist me in carrying a few extra drinks.”

“An old fashioned, if you would, my good man.” His tone was level, his voice smooth. It made Loki cringe. 

--

You weren’t paying that much attention to either of the men before you, so the cold fingers wrapped around your wrist and the sudden sharp tug came as something of a surprise to you. So much so, that you almost yelped in surprise. 

Almost. 

You gathered your composure as you steadied yourself, smoothing down your skirt with your free hand. You weren’t sure whether it was the heels that left you so unsteady on your feet, or the negroni you had necked not five minutes earlier. 

Loki’s hand was tight on your wrist as he led you towards the bar, his fingers icy cold on your delicate skin. Why was he always so cold? 

“Be careful with that one.” He whispered. You opened your mouth to question him, but he had turned towards the barmaid to request more drinks. 

The man to your left wasn’t particularly subtle in his eyeing of you, his gaze sweeping your form a few times before shooting you a smile that made your skin crawl. 

You shuddered, grabbing at the tumbler closest to you and taking a long sip, scowling to yourself. 

“Why the long face?” A look of bemusement settled on Loki’s face - something you found really, really infuriating. 

“These men.” You grumbled. “They talk to me, treat me like a pretty little piece of fucking meat.” 

“That’s because to them, you are.” He shrugged dismissively. “Nothing more, nothing less.” 

Rage bubbled in the pit of your stomach, like an angry, venomous torrent climbing up your throat. 

“Why, you little - hmmmph.” His hand slapping over your mouth cut you short. 

“Might I remind you, darling, that you have a role to play. You shall get your vengeance.” He shot you a sickeningly sweet grin. “But for now, you shall have to grin and bear it, little pork chop.” 

You seethed from behind his hand. 

“Hold your tongue, that’s all I ask of you.” His gaze was earnest. “Will you do that for me?” 

You cast your gaze downwards, nodding your head. 

“Good girl.” He lifted his hand from your mouth, smiling as you glowered at him. He kissed your hand delicately, a brush of his lips across the skin of your knuckles, before holding out his arm for you to take. 

The unusual gentleman, Mr Slater, was, as promised, still waiting for you across the room. He thanked you politely as you handed him his drink, his eyes alight as if something were terribly funny. 

“Are you sure we have never met before, Mrs Evans?” His left eye quirked as he spoke. “You seem awfully familiar, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.” 

“I guess I just have one of those faces.” You shrugged. 

“Yes, quite.” He said. “Anyway, I have a rather unusual talent that I often whip out at parties, just as a little amusement. I feel it might interest you both, if you care to indulge my silliness.” 

You glanced across at Loki, trying to hide the bewilderment from your face. He shrugged, holding out his hands. 

“Be my guest.” He agreed. 

You weren’t really sure what exactly you were expecting. Perhaps table top magic - rabbits out of a hat, coins from behind ears, that type of thing. Hell, maybe he was truly psychotic and was going to stab the both of you. 

“It’s more of a childish parlour trick, really, but I have this unusual gift for reading people. Amateur psychology, really, but rather fun.” He grinned at your confused faces. “I pick up little things about people, tells me all sort of things. Secret affairs, family feuds, the yearnings of the heart. Even people’s greatest fears.” 

He paused for a moment, lifting his glass to his mouth. He gathered the drips from the corner of his mouth with his thumb, looking back up at you both. 

You thought it was a real shame he considered ‘people reading’ his greatest talent and not this overblown display of amateur dramatics. 

“The pair of you are a little more enigmatic than most, but I think I could give it a crack, if you would allow me.” 

You nodded breathlessly as he leaned towards you, your heart hammering in your chest. It was almost as if every nerve, every cell in your body was imploring you, screaming at you to not let this strange man come any closer to you. 

Your feet felt frozen in place as his hand landed on your shoulder, his calloused palms like sandpaper against the soft skin of your shoulder. A breath stilled in your throat as his head dipped so his lips were level with your ear. 

“You will kill again, and it terrifies you.” He whispered. “It keeps you up at night, doesn’t it? Not the knowledge of what you have done, but what you know you will do. It’s okay, darling, your secret is safe with me.” 

You exhaled sharply as he drew away from you, a nervous laugh bubbling out of your chest. 

Who the fuck was this guy? 

He winked at you as he took another sip of his drink. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Loki’s line of vision flitting back and forth between the two of you, looking for any hint of what he had said to you, what could’ve so clearly, so deeply, unsettled you. 

You sure as hell weren’t going to tell him. 

Your eyes followed him closely as he leaned in towards Loki. Unlike you, he maintained his cool composure, but you were fairly certain you saw something adjacent to fear flicker in the back of his eyes. 

Over time, you’d become an accomplished lip-reader, but this time, you felt for sure that your skill had failed you. You’d not picked up much, a single word, in fact, but you knew it couldn’t be correct. 

That word, that single word, that allegedly had Loki witless with fear? 

Himself. 

His hand shot out, grabbing at your wrist, his nails biting into your skin. 

“I’m really sorry, but my wife and I have to leave.” He spat out, turning on his heel, and striding away as quickly as his legs would carry him, almost dragging you behind him. 

You had never seen him this flustered before. His cheeks were ever so slightly pink, his eyes glittering with anger, his chest rapidly expanding with every shallow breath. His grip on your wrist was like a vice, and you felt for certain that there would be the imprints of his long fingers marring your skin in the morning. 

Just before you reached the door, you were fairly certain you heard the unusual man call ‘See you around!’ cheerfully over your shoulder. 

“Who the hell was that?” You asked as you hurried down the corridor towards the lift. 

“I don’t know.” He replied. “Like he said, we were talking when you were out. He owns a jewellery company. I didn’t think he’d try and get to us. Messing with you in that way, saying he thinks he knows you to try and catch you offguard.. It’s certainly unusual behaviour.” 

“See, there’s the thing. I don’t think he was fucking with me there. He looked familiar to me, too. I think I’ve met him before.” You pressed a finger to your lip thoughtfully. “And don’t even try taking the ‘weak mortal’ path here. You were bricking it too, I could see it in your face.” 

“You see what I want you to see, little mortal, and nothing more.” He shot you a glare. “Now, about that key.” 

“We all see only what we’re shown, Loki.” You mused. “Even you.” 

He glanced at you curiously as you stepped into the lift. 

The encounter with Mr Slater had left Loki deeply unsettled. From the very off, something about the strangle man had made him uncomfortable. 

He couldn’t even really work out why. He was, if anything, perfectly pleasant. Polite, courteous, well spoken. There was, at least on the surface level, nothing wrong with him. 

But yet, he was nothing short of creepy. His smile wouldn’t have been any more unsettling if black widow spiders had crawled out from in between his pale lips. 

When he revealed he had a little talent, Loki wouldn’t have been entirely shocked if he’d told him it involved punting kittens. 

He himself was not exactly known for his strict adherence to anything resembling a moral code, and if anything, it made it all the more unusual that he had affected Loki so badly. 

If there is anyone in this world - or any other - to be truly afraid of, it’s not the man who stalks your nightmares - it’s who stalks his. 

He was, however, desperate to know what Roger had said to you. You would, of course, never tell him. Under other circumstances, he would consider subduing you in some way, but from the few encounters with your subconscious mind he had already had, he got the feeling that even then you wouldn’t willingly surrender the information. 

It was this he was pondering as he rifled through the irritatingly mundane belongings of one Mr J Grey. When you’d selected him as your victim of the evening, you’d done so on the premise that he was wearing a very expensive suit, but as Loki was discovering, he hadn’t quite been the man you were looking for. Aside from half a gram of cocaine in a small ziploc bag - honestly, who kept their narcotics in their bedside table? - and a scuffed Barclaycard with yet more cocaine tightly pressed into the embossed numbers - expired, he had checked - he had found nothing of any real value. Knock-off watches, fake leather wallets, poorly made suits, but nothing particularly valuable. 

“Your judgement is poor, darling.” He said. “This man is both immensely dull and revoltingly messy.” 

“I am sorry to disappoint, but we Terrans are a rather messy species.” You remarked. “In fact, we are renowned for it.” 

He laughed, staring down at his gloved hands. You were quite right - humans truly were a messy, invasive little species. A cosmic nuisance, of sorts. He was just glad that, for the most part, they stuck to their own planet. The furthest they had actually gotten was their own bloody moon, so they weren’t exactly regarded as a threat to other species. 

“I think we should cut our losses and get out of here before he gets back.” You sighed, running your hand through your hair. 

Loki muttered his agreement, rising from where he knelt on the floor. He was happy to dispose of the clammy plastic that clung to his hands, flinging them into his pocket dimension as he headed towards the door. 

He dropped a throw-away comment as he walked down the corridor, eliciting a true, from-the-chest belly laugh from you. Quick as ever, you responded within a heart beat, but Loki found himself missing your witticism, distracted by a sudden thought. 

Since when did humans start referring to themselves as Terrans?

-- 

TAGLIST:  @chxrryycola @the-middle-oldest-child​ @possessedjoker​ @amour-delicate @marvelouslyme96​

#loki x reader #tom hiddleston x reader #loki smut #tom hiddleston smut #loki #tom hiddleston #loki laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki fic #loki fanfiction #thor the dark world #thor ragnarok

[hollowisthyname]

🖊 Everest!

ah! you have stumbled upon a character who I can decisively call my absolute least-developed character of the group, who doesn't actually really have a place in my main universe, and who I still have many ideas about and love :]

[this one probably won't be as long as the first but just in case, infodump under the cut]

so basically he's a catboy

I'm so sorry bc this isn't even how the character started out?? a lot of the stuff I do with these characters is just. make aus of a story that doesn't actually exist yet. the ones I have currently are: human au (pretty standard, mainly created for the designs), Lavka-is-a-ghost-who's-bound-to-Marcel-for-reasons-unknown au (way weirder, based on a song, I have one scene for it), and "human"-protagonists-transported-to-magic-world au, which is where Everest comes in.

now normally when I come up with this stuff it's centered around Marcel, who was my first real oc so kinda the protagonist by default. this one, however, was based on Onyx! I have no idea why! but I decided they needed a partner in crime and also I wanted to make a new character, so.... Everest was born.

my first idea was just. emo nerd. I don't really have any characters like that and I needed smth to offset Onyx's relentless extrovert energy, so I came up with this kid with glasses, hair over one eye, slightly creepy. then somewhere along the way, I came up with the astounding, revolutionary, never-been-done-before idea of..... catboy

but it actually makes sense I promise!! lemme explain

my original idea for Everest was already very catlike. he creeps people out- and this is kind of intentional on his part- because he always looks like he can see. everything. he's just in the background observing shit and you don't notice he's there until you see him out of the corner of your eye watching you or smth else intently but with next to no expression on his face. it's fucking terrifying. and I say this is catlike bc he's watching from a distance and it definitely seems like he knows exactly what's going on at all times but he hardly ever interacts with people he doesn't already know. someone comes up to him to make small talk and he just narrows his eyes and slinks away.

also physical description bc I totally didn't forget to do it earlier:

he's got like white/platinum hair with bright blue strips that's about shoulder level and just kinda. hangs there. his bangs go over his right eye ALWAYS and it pisses him off (especially bc it gets in the way of his glasses) but the only thing that works to keep it out of his face is like hairclips and that ruins his AestheticTM so he tolerates it. he's about 5'8, so many of my characters are tall, his left eye is yellow and his right one is blue. his skin is p light. he wears glasses, they're thin gold circles and I like them very much. most of his clothes are like.... i dunno, old-timey, victorian-era? basically what you would imagine a vampire wearing.

his relationship to Onyx is very opposites-attract. he's quiet and reserved, they're energetic and flirty. he's vampire-esque, they're alt/punk. he's tall, they're short. etc. I think the main reason they became friends in the first place was that Onyx just.... didn't notice his whole "creep people out from the shadows" thing. they just waltzed up to him one day and decided to become friends, and managed it despite him being less than eager to get to know people (they're definitely friends now though, Onyx is the only person Everest like fully trusts honestly). they're like. peak autism/adhd solidarity. Onyx talks for hours on end and Everest just listens without saying a word and they both love it.

my like ~twist~ for the story is kinda the reveal that at least Everest and also possibly Onyx aren't totally human? Everest has his cat traits obviously, and the original Onyx is a ghost but I don't think that's what I'm gonna do for this one. maybe selkie or nine-tailed-fox bc my mythology is always Convoluted and Bullshit but it's v fun to take a bunch of myths and smash them together lmao

that's basically all I have on him but it's a lot more than I thought so yay!! I'm gonna come up with more stuff for him bc he doesn't really have a backstory yet so I gotta do that

also, bonus moodboard I made for him a couple months ago!! I'm actually v happy with it I think it captures his vibes p well :]

#ranger rambles #icarus infodumps #oc infodumps #i finished two of these in one day i am a god /j #also i feel like everest's pronouns aren't just he/him #but they/them and she/her also don't feel right #so until i can find some fitting neos he/him it is #i love my angsty catboy

[quinintheclouds]

Thoughts on Putting Others First: SvS Redux as they come to me

AN HOUR LONG?!?!?! Y E S THANK YOU

I am LOVING this opening art style. The way it shows all the things Thomas could say and shuts them each down, the silliness tying in perfectly to the video game setting, the way we could SO STRONGLY empathize with Thomas despite him not saying anything. Well done!

“Eff friends, Patton!” Patton and I made the exact same gasp and noise at the same time in reaction to that dsjfhljdhg

Lookit Thomas’ lil vest awww <3

ROMAN WITH THE PUNS I LOVE IT APPRECIATE HIM

rhymes

rhymes

they’re rhyming is this gonna be

A SONG!!!

(Logan off somewhere watching all of this: “You guys are doing a RAP? Without ME? .....Unacceptable”)

Seriously poor Logan being left out BOTH TIMES despite clearly having excellent points on the matter

But I’m loving this Patton/Roman dynamic being explored in this way. They have a lotta similarities but the differences are really standing OUT so far and I like it! Also it looks like Roman isn’t gonna just shut up and do whatever Patton says out of fear that he’s a bad person/bad for Thomas this time. I’m glad they’re both getting a chance to talk cause they aren’t exactly taken seriously a lot of the time.

RETURN OF THE BLINDFOLD METAPHOR followed by Roman saying “in Patton’s defense...” so they like, KNOW what Deceit meant about the blindfold? Were they playing dumb? Or do they just suddenly get it now that it’s coming from Thomas?

Ok this Feral Cat Story of Roman’s is too specific for me to dismiss and now I’m convinced either Remus brought a shitton of cats home one day and they just flooded their house/rooms, or Patton brought home a bunch of cats out of love and didn’t realize he couldn’t take care of em...either way that’s an adorable anecdote

The car jump line that Patton took literally is just making me miss Logan even more :(

I’m glad they’re giving context to the relationship between Thomas and Mary Lee & Lee! A lot of fander questions and opinions circled back to “well it depends how close they were” so it was smart of them to fill us in.

“those baby-makin’ catholics”

6:45 Patton has clearly thought through a lot of possible outcomes to talking to Lee and Mary Lee before going to the wedding... he never brought them up, even when Roman did and then Deceit did. But he’s bringing up points no one had addressed, and I think that’s a great way to put more intensity to Patton’s apology to Thomas for lying back in SvS pt 1. He hid a lot more than he let on. Man, how much guilt is this poor man feeling right now? :(

“Talking about it could have been harmful” I’m very intrigued by the parallels between Patton wanting to keep things from Thomas’ friends to protect their feelings in this episode and SvS, and Deceit disguised as Patton in CLBG trying to get Thomas to... keep things from his friend to protect their feelings...

WOAH “But was it worth it? I don’t--” “No.” Thomas cutting Roman off with that much certainty DAMN Thomas REGRETS going to the wedding HARD and also is agreeing with Roman finally??

Patton: “sometimes you can make all the good choices, and still not get the good ending.” Thomas: “I’m not even sure there was a good ending to get.” Roman: “Mmmm, I’m pretty sure there was.” There is so much to unpack here oh my gosh.

WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT??? DAMN THOMAS CAME FOR PATTON WHAT ON EARTH??? Patton: “I think we can all agree that you are a good fellow.” Thomas: Can we? ALL? Agree on that?” Patton: *sputtering noises*

Poor Patton... I mean they’re right but gosh I feel for him. He wants so badly for Thomas to be a good person and he realizes now how strict and unyielding he’s been, and wants to not do that but doesn’t know how to be more lenient without sacrificing integrity cause that’s his JOB and he doesn’t know how to do it better aaaa this is such a mood

MUSIC IS THERE ANOTHER SONG COMING?

Return of the bagel. Except this time it’s Roman guessing/wanting the bagel and Patton being like “what? no?”

ok not a song but video game style is back!!

“ugh you’re such a dad” I love it

Patton just made more puns and Roman omg “Like, you’re SUCH a dad that like it’s too much to handle sometimes”

I am loving this whole scene jdfhjadshg Patton ily and I relate

Thomas and Roman teaching Patton how to come up with imaginary scenarios skjfklsjdfh

Sondheim wrecking Leslie Odom Jr is such a hilarious visual

Ok all three of them are peak dumbass and I’m so here for it (like they’re smart and all but they’re peak dumbass)

Daaaamn Patton is letting out so much this episode. Like he’s been holding back but wowie. R: “Just like how you didn’t HAVE to give him a hotdog” P: *sucks air through his teeth* “I feel like you kinda do though?” YES PLEASE let’s discuss the concept of obligation in morality again!!! Where’s Logan when you need him? Or Deceit even? (I feel like D’s gonna show up later but I wanna hear Logan’s thoughts this time too)

Patton: You can disagree! But... it’d kinda be wrong?

LOGAN POPUP! Ok fine if he isn’t in the ep at least he pops up in a lil dialogue box on screen. Also he popped up to support Patton... neat!

“It’s just me, Logan. I’ve taken this form because I didn’t want to be too...invasive.” POOR LOGAN NO YOU’RE NOT INVADING ANYTHING YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE HERE! Also Roman getting scared by the popup while Patton just waves happily like he always does upon seeing Logan aww

Okay I am getting serious DOPAMINE from Logan talking. Like, he’s spittin’ FACTS. Something about the way he talks is so interesting and soothing and makes me so excited to LEARN. Roman mockingly mouthing ‘behoove’ had me snort though XD

LOGAN AND I WERE IN UNISON HELL YEAH! Patton was all like ooh you’re sharing your lil factoids! And Logan and I at the same time corrected, “Facts,” and proceeded to state the definition of factoids (we worded it differently but yeah as usual Logan is on my wavelength)

Logan’s sprite getting so disappointed at Thomas’ interruption joke jgdkjghks he looks so DONE

OML I LOVE LOGAN’S DIALOGUE BOX TALKING TOO FAST FOR THEM TO READ THIS IS SO ACCURATE

Oof Thomas finally feeling like he GETS it and Patton being like yeah but not if you’re doing it bc you want to feel  good tho... (also that’s the same argument Deceit made in SvS pt1??? I’m confused by Patton/Deceit’s functions lately and I’m very invested)

Oh ok Thomas just brought up that very point haha

“we all agreed the right thing to do was go to the wedding” um are u sure about that

“I was wrong” PATTON CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?? I know Logan has the reputation of not being able to admit when he’s wrong (which isn’t true -- he doesn’t like to but he has done so countless times...well not literally countless but you understand my meaning), but Patton rarely is in a situation where he has to, so this is jarring in a hopefully good way. Istg if this is Deceit disguised as Patton again I’ll be so disappointed... I feel like the writers wouldn’t do that though

Patton: says smth deceit said. Roman: and you...agree? Patton: Definitely! I mean uh maybe? (WHAT IS HAPPENING INSIDE PATTON’S HEAD RN SO MUCH TURMOIL)

Roman: “I’m not an expert in the... moral medium” Thomas:  “Go ahead Roman, we wanna hear what you have to say.”  Patton: *halfhearted gestures and noises for roman to go ahead* jashfjdh he’s trying so hard

AWWWW they’re validating Roman so much I love it

“whomstsoever” ok I take it back roman’s not valid

I adore Logan’s popup fun facts, and him giving definitions for Roman’s vocabulary reminds me how much the two of them love writing and poetry and language aaaa

Patton trying not to be harsh is somehow 10x harsher than he normally is

oh wow that got real.

I know I’ve said this but I love logan’s insertions... but I do wish he got to say them out loud like earlier :/ Pausing to read them is less fun than hearing him talk.

oh wow that got real part 2

I want. So badly. To jump into this video and debate Patton on the nature of morality and what “the right thing is.” Roman you’re not being dumb, you’re bringing up excellent points and you’re valid again.

Oh no Patton... empathy is not morality... please please address that there are people who can’t experience empathy and choose to be moral and good

THE  TROLLEY PROBLEM HERE! WE! GO!

Logan’s popups bc he doesn’t want to “be too invasive” and making them optional to read hurts my heart :( He knows Patton, Roman, and Thomas aren’t reading any of it but he doesn’t want to be too much so he stays silent. Why?? Logan it’s okay! Why is this a thing now but not in the last 2 episodes? What happened to Logan :(

OOOOOOH Patton didn’t flip the switch :o Interesting! Daaaamn he’s arguing to let 5 people die rather than flip the switch so only one dies

LOGAN’S TEXTBOX WAS SO BIG AND FAST IT KNOCKED PATTON OVER I CANNOT BREATHE hang on I gotta read it

HE’S TALKING ABOUT DEONTOLOGY YES LOGAN THANK YOU FOR TELLING PATTON WHAT I PHYSICALLY CANNOT please tell me you’ll talk about utilitarianism and moral particularism next

Okay he used consequentialism but it’s close enough to utilitarianism that the outcome is the same. (Do you get it? Do you like my joke about how the outcome is most important? When we’re talking about-- oh you got it already? Good, moving on.)

DID ROMAN JUST FJCKING KILL LOGAN

“I’m okay, figment of your imagination, so.” Okay so CAN the Sides get hurt or can’t they?? Cause Patton clearly got bonked, roman got hit in the eye with paper and said ow, but logan got hit in the head with a throwing star and had his teeth ripped out and he was totally fine?

 Thomas is being so HONEST with himself so early in the episode, wow this is refreshing and I’m hype

AW YAY Patton called textbox Logan in to help with philosophy yay :’)

Logan: “Pity seems to be at the center of your idea of ‘putting good into the world’” first, Logan doing a voice impression of Nietzsche is GOLD, and second.... I wish they’d let him finish cause I was waiting for a “but” cause Logan siding with Nietzsche on this one feels... wrong? Like I could see Dee bringing it up or Logan using it in an argument only to continue with a contradicting philosophy but Logan equating empathy to pity... idk I thought he’d grown more than to think that :/ Actually I don’t think he ever saw it that way. It feels out of character but I’m guessing he had more to say to debunk that.

HOLY SHIT PATTON SKIPPED ALL THE REST OF LOGAN’S DIALOGUE AND YEETED HIM OFF THE SCREEN bruh he may have been right and he should’ve gotten to say it >:(

ROMAN ISTG DO NOT TRY AND MAKE THIS YOUR FAULT

I SAID DON’T

GODDAMMIT

sjfkdjgjsh okay aww Thomas good job, Patton too. Thank god they’re being nice to him

Patton is having a breakdown holy heckity about time

damn Patton is freaking HARSH

“I have a difference in opinion on this one, Patton” Thomas: *relieved sigh whisper* “ohhh thank you, Logan” YES APPRECIATE THE BOY YES YES I LOVE HIM why are they looking around like he isn’t making sense?

LOGAN YES! CALL HIM OUT! LET THOMAS VALUE HIMSELF AND PUT HIMSELF FIRST SOMETIMES! “Every point you’ve made in today’s discussion has contradicted that sentiment.” I love you but also you sound a lil like deceit... very lawyer-y and feels calculated like he’s been keeping notes for this purpose... I want deceit and logan to debate already damn it. Maybe it’s just that Logan’s inflections feel reminiscent of Deceit to show...something?

Ok can I just say that Logan gets so much rep for his strictness or high standards but he’s been SO GOOD about that lately and him teaching about the importance of leisure and self-care and freedom in your life and self-esteem and valuing yourself like you do with others... not even just this  video -- he’s been like this in the last few as well and these recent episodes remind me of early Logan (esp My Negative Emotions)  and that makes my heart so so happy.

Continuation of the above, compare this to how Logan acted in Why Bed? with regards to Roman. Roman advocated for leisure time and following dreams, while Logan had a schedule that optimized productivity and health. Now he’s taking a similar stance to Roman and asserting the importance of these things... WHY is so much of Logan’s character development OFFSCREEN?? I wanna know what made him switch on this! Maybe just cause he’s listening to roman from why bed?

Why is Logan being so abrasive? He sounds like his intent is more to disprove Patton rather than state what he actually thinks... not a fan of that but he’s not wrong

WOAH WOAH TOTAL PATTON BREAKDOWN WHAT HAPPENED WHAT THE FCK HE’S A LITERAL MONSTER IN THIS VIDEO GAME?

OH, MY GOD. If Logan didn’t step in and save them here this would have been catastrophic. I can feel my relief. I mean, he screamed, but it was a relief. WAIT IT WAS DECEIT THE WHOLE TIME??? Daaaamn good job on this one Deceit and I definitely like him more now but also WHERE IS LOGAN. Was it the whole time? That makes sense in hindsight and makes me feel better about some things he’s brought up but I feel like it really was Logan at the start, it wasn’t until he started calling out patton that his voice and inflection and stuff changed

Patton trying to attack Deceit   and hitting Thomas instead was  an EXCELLENT way to  showcase the effect SvS 1 and 2 are having

Deceit’s lil “A DUH DUH DUH DOY” looked and sounded just like Logan’s lmao don’t tell me it’s another switcheroo (I doubt it greatly lol)

REAL LOGAN REAL LOGAN REAL LOGAN

So wait what was the point that Deceit switched with Logan? Cause Logan’s saying “one more fact” so he was himself earlier right?

“Not that any of you care, but  I am unharmed.” Nooooo they care </3 “I will do you all a favor and spare you my company” okay OUCH

EFFECTIVE ALTRUISM YES aw he’s talking about him and patton working together yes thank you

Damn, Deceit is LOVING everything Logan says haha same

Logan and Deceit teaming up to teach Patton that it’s okay to care about yourself

DECEIT WHAT he’s being so supportive of Roman holy heck this is so genuine OH Roman’s arguing with it  this is a lot of stuff I didn’t expect roman to say out loud wow

THOMAS JUST SAID DECEIT THE CHARACTER ISN’T INHERENTLY UNETHICAL WOW this episode really said let’s make Deceit--

WAIT WOAH SORRY HIS NAME REVEAL!!! He’s Janice?? Is that true?

WAIT WOAH PART 2 BUT DECEIT JUST SAID IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE MUSTACHE HE WOULDN’T KNOW WHO THE EVIL TWIN IS BETWEEN ROMAN AND REMUS HOLY SHIT HE ACTUALLY LOOKED VULNERABLE AND THEN HURT AND THEN RIGHT BACK TO SNAKE

ROMAN’S GONE

fuck.... patton...roman....deceit....thomas....logan....I’m gonna go cry about all of them now

LESLIE ODOM JR IS HERE??????? oh there he goes

patton oh my god I love you  this ANGST are you trying to kill me?

Patton telling thomas he’s worthy of love I actually teared up

dfjdakjhfa deceit don’t push it

Wowie that was an EPISODE

#ts putting others first #SvS redux #sanders sides svs #janice sanders #quinpost #ts spoilers

[teddystrap]

Drama CD: [今、隣のキミに恋をする] CASE4 日向 傑

A sorta new (2018-2019) six-disc series from TEAM Entertainment Inc. Guy #4 is my first listen, and from the looks of it the first three characters are students and the latter three are working/adults. Some stats on #4 from the official site:

Age: 30 Height: 175 cm Occupation: Foreign investment company employee Relation: Your superior who sits at the next desk

♥

Our story starts with a meeting, where the boss compliments Hyuuga Suguru (cv. Hirakawa Daisuke) for having the highest # of clients this month. To which Hyuuga thanks his team and says he couldn't have done it without them.

Co-workers of both sexes question in awe if he is even human, because he has everything: looks, brains, AND a great personality it seems. Even the ladies from the other departments all have their eye on him, and it's hard for us mere mortals to even get near to him *le sighzzz*.

...Enter YOU, staying behind to work overtime because the bossman had dumped a mountain of folders on your desk. Hyuuga sees you just as he's about to leave after a time-consuming client. He praises your dedication, but says that you should learn to say 'no' to people occasionally or else you will die of karoushi. (Ok he didn't exactly say it like *that*; I took some liberties.)

So, as your senpai, he’s staying to help you with your work. In return, he only asks that you lend him a hand in the future if he's ever in a pinch ;)

Both of you finalllly finish your work, and he brings you a coffee. You ask him why he stayed to help you, and he replies that, as a man, he couldn't bear to see a girl struggle with everything by herself. Also, you are the hardest worker in the entire department, and he wants you to succeed~ (ง •̀_•́)ง Shucks ain’t that sweet?? :3

Afterwards. he offers to take you home, since there's no more public transport at this time of night and it's unsafe for a girl to go home alone. On the way he asks about the office drinking party on Sunday, which you are both planning to attend.

…At the drinking party, Hyuuga is surrounded by #drunkpeopleactingdumb. He notices that you are being rather quiet, and you explain that you are not much of a party-person. To which he replies that he's the same way!! You are surprised because he seems so popular, but he jokes that he must seem like an ojisan to someone your age. A cheesy exchange ensues:

You: Ojisan? That's not true, Hyuuga-san is cool af. Him: Cool? Whythankyouverymuch, that's an honour. Looks like I'll have to work harder from now on, in order to maintain my cool af image in your eyes! You: But... the way you are right now is enough... Him: 'The way I am right now is enough'... for what?

Just then you are interrupted by a drunken co-worker, who forces more drinks onto Hyuuga. Hyuuga remarks lovingly that everyone at the office is like his family, making the drunk dude cry tears of joy into his sake. Ay-yai-yai.

♥

NEWSFLASH: your department is going to have a reorganisation soon. You and Hyuuga will be on the same team, and you will become his new assistant! So then he casually asks about your document-prep time, and mutters 'SLOWPOKE' under his breath after hearing your reply. You thought you heard him say something and question him, but he denies it *whistles innocently*. Hmm...

After work, you show up at your regular bar following a long absence. The staff tell you they've missed you, and gossip to you about a new regular customer who goes by 'Suu-san'. According to them, this person has the face of an idol, but a completely *twisted* personality, always complaining about work. At that very instant, who else but Hyuuga enters the bar, and it is confirmed that he is the Suu-san they are talking about.

Hyuuga didn't see you, and before the staff can make the introductions, he cuts them off and places his order, launching into his usual work complaints. He bitches about his new female assistant who is sooo slowwwwww that he is forced to take work home and sacrifice his weekends. And all the other co-workers are either unhelpful retards or pathetic gold-diggers. THAT PLACE IS DOOMED, YO.

After his spiel (of which you heard every word), the bar owner turns back to you... and that is when Hyuuga finally notices you. He is so shocked that he spits out his drink LOL, and hurriedly pays and drags you outside to *talk*. He tells you that what you heard are his true feelings, while his 'work persona' is but a carefully crafted act for survival. Also, he only helps you with your work because your slowness affects his work.

Unsurprisingly, you are shocked and hurt by his confessions, but he doesn't even seem to care. In his view, you and the other co-workers only like his fake personality and not the real him anyway. His only concern is that you keep this a secret from them, and luckily for him, you agree to it without much fuss.

Next day at the office, you keep your promise and didn't tell anyone. But unfortunately, you look all #doom&gloom and are clearly avoiding him. Since you are his assistant, it would look too suspicious, so he orders you to act normal - i.e. like his loving kouhai... OR ELSE.

♥

After work, it's pouring and you've forgotten your umbrella. What's worse, it's not going to stop any time soon. Hyuuga sees your sorry state and makes you *beg* him to share his umbrella with you. At first you refuse, but, not wanting to be stuck at the office all night, you reluctantly beg him in the end and walk to the station together.

Along the way, he tells you to scoot closer under the umbrella (-ella, -ella,...) so that you don't catch a cold and miss work. #TSUNDEREALERT!!! Then he sees the #1 most cliched item ever to appear on a rainy day: An abandoned baby kitten in a cardboard box. He instructs you to take his umbrella home, while he takes the kitten with him and hails a taxi to safety.

…

It's the weekend! You are at his place!! And it's not what you think!!!!!!! (Wait, ...what ARE you thinking? ;P) There's an error in your document, and he's called you over to fix it before handing it over to the client. As your superior and a bona-fide #goodguy, he will have to take responsibility for your misses :'). He threatens that he gon' make you pay for wasting his weekend, and you cower in fear imagining unsavoury scenarios XD.

He teases you about your gutter-mind, and you become on the verge of tears. Your defenselessness makes him want to bully you more, so he announces that you will become his sex-slave, because... he is interested in you (!!), and this is how he treats people he likes. #ufeelingluckypunk??!

Except for past girlfriends, he hasn't invited anyone else to his place. Hearing this makes you slightly happy :3. What's more, he promises to treat you to some delicious food after you finish the work. (Awww I am melting~~~) You call him sweet, and he overreacts and denies it, making you laugh XDD. He tells you that, in the past, *some people* have said he has a bad personality, and it's stuck.

Later the stray kitten that he brought home came running out. He's named it 「アメ」 ('rain', after that fateful day of their meeting) and nursed it back to health. You observe that the way he talks to Ame is super cute, which embarrasses him, and he's all like 'SHUT UP AND DO UR WORK' to cover up his shyness wwwww~~~

Afterwards, he compliments you on a job well-done and calls you a responsible and almost-perfect worker - your only weakness is your speed (or lack thereof). You are surprised by his praise and start to reevaluate him. This is when he tells you his #assholebackstory:

Once upon a time, he was in love with a girl and tried his best to make her happy... only for her to tell him that he is a hurtful bastard who is abusive to everyone around him. This misunderstanding was a huge blow to his self-esteem, and ever since then, he started putting on the inoffensive persona that he uses at work, in order to navigate the treacherous terrain of social relations.

On hearing this, you become sympathetic, despite his protests to the contrary. You bring up the rain etc. as examples that he is actually a big softie, and he tries to come up with excuses how they are just normal behaviour. He also admits that he's secretly glad it was you who overheard him at the bar that day, instead of anyone else. His embarrassed confession is so adorable that you call him 'cute' again, and he gets all #angrytsundere trying to deny it lulz.

♥

At the next meeting, the boss assigns a big client to your team. Afterwards, Hyuuga invites you to lunch together, Your closeness starts to arouse the jealousy of some women in your dept, and they gossip behind your back (which Hyuuga overhears). During lunch, Hyuuga tells you that you are not only important to the team, but to him personally as well. You are all like #confusedpuppyeyes, which makes him doki-doki, but just then the waiter arrives with your food, and he swallows back his confession. #badtiming ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Days later, some v. important data for this case has gone missing, and Hyuuga asks the boss for some time to fix this. You apologise and admit that you might have lost it by accident, but he doesn't believe that you would make a silly mistake like that. Two female co-workers come over and badmouth you for your carelessness, and Hyuuga starts to yell at them but you stop him.

At this point, Hyuuga can't hold back anymore, and says outright that he saw the two of them at your desk yesterday after everyone had left. He threatens to check the building's security cam footage. As the culprits struggle to come up with an excuse, he flies into a fit of rage and goes ballistic on them at some length before storming out.

You chase after him and express your worry now that he has revealed his 'true self' in the office. But he doesn't seem concerned - more than keeping up his persona, he has now found something *more important* to protect. You don't get his meaning, and he's all like (┛◉Д◉)┛︵ ┻━┻ 'cos he can't believe how dumb you are. #rofl

So then FINALLY, dude confesses that he likes you! Your acceptance and nonchalance after seeing his true self, plus your knack for bringing out his gentle side, have (#reluctantly) won him over. He asks you to date him, and you laugh good-naturedly at his whole #ore-sama attitude before saying a resounding YES. (ﾉ*>ω<)ﾉ~☆

[Epilogue / half a year later]

You come out of the shower with your hair all wet, and he nags at you while drying it for you. He complains that you are more low-maintenance than a dude, and he feels more like your mum than your boyfriend XD.

Ever since revealing his true personality at the office that day, everyone has ironically grown even closer to him, and he wonders if you are all secretly a bunch of do-M's lol. Then he snuggles up with you for the night and thanks you for accepting every side of him, and promises to stay by your side 4everrrr.

♥

[Thoughts] I loved this story!! Sure it has a bunch of cliches and predictable elements in it, but I love the way he gradually changed his attitude and slowly warmed up to our lovely heroine. You also get to hear Hirarin as an オラオラ/ヤンキーtype, which is so out-of-character for him. He’s just too cute/hilarious when he gets angry to hide his shyness. And the way he raged at those two jealous co-workers... Is this even real?? OMG.

The audio is from the bonus track/free talk, where he does his special baby voice that he uses to talk to cats, and... I JUST CAN’T. EVEN. I mean just listen to it. wwwwwwwww~~~ XDDD. Hirarin also reveals that, on his 30th birthday, he got a msg from his dad explaining why they named him ‘Daisuke’. The reason is kept secret here, but apparently 「大輔」 means was a kind of high-ranking official title in olden times (pre-Heian). #don’tquoteme

One other thing I really liked, is that some of the side characters are voiced as well, like the boss and co-workers. It’s so refreshing and cuts the monotony of usual situation CDs where you have to guess what the other people are saying, because everyone else is unvoiced. Especially in fight scenes, where your guy starts taunting and/or getting injured by *nobody*. But anyway.

#otome #drama cd #team-e #mintlip #imakimi #seiyuu #hirakawa daisuke #office romance #two-faced #tsundere

[unattainabledreams]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥

Mun note: I’m gonna put this below the cut cause it’s a biiiig tag. But if you do read it, hmu honestly cause I’ve love to chatting.

And if you do it? Let me know! I love learning about people’s connection to their muses, new or old.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK (Mixed impressions depending on who you ask and how you ask it I reckon.)

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?

OG Canon, By default, up until Zack’s canonical death, I follow canon very muchly. (That doesn’t mean I’m not open to earlier plotted divergence though!) If the overall plot ends with death, then I’m alright with that, I love the handing on of the torch from Angeal to Zack to Cloud. My goal is to never minimize that. But for interactions beyond the end of Crisis Core, I have two particular verses that I absolutely adore based on already established lore and my own head-canons for how Zack would continue.

OG Canon Remake Canon, while it’s nice for options and I don’t mind it, on a technical front I think it weakens the ongoing plot for other characters who then wouldn’t have been forced to grow so much themselves. I enjoyed the remake, but regarding Zack it’s not my cup of tea. I’ll write remake by request, but it’s not my default.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.

His genuine care for those around him with unrelenting selflessness is both heartwarming -and heart-wrenching.

Zack’s journey from naivety about the world and events around him to recognizing the harm of the organization he’s been directly a part of. He grows in both substance and maturity as he’s increasingly forced to reckon with reality.

Chasing after an idea which is realized but not how he once imagined it. 

While Zack is strong, he’s most certainly not the strongest. I enjoy playing with weakness.

Almost relentless optimism. How he pushes onward to continue trying to pick up the pieces. Additionally as such a genuine character and I hope that love comes through in my portrayal.

Look. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But on a personal my muse front, despite my love for him I love putting him in situations where I get to break him down to build back up again because that’s his strength as a character.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  

His early naivety and blind loyalty to ShinRa. (IMO tho, you gotta have a ‘from’ in order to have a ‘to’)

Puppy goofy himbo dummy. (At least, that’s how some people see him.)

Almost relentless optimism.

Some feel he draws away from Cloud’s story.

Just- 

Look again.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  

Have you ever had a time when you’re watching or playing something and there’s just a character you really identify with like, not just ‘oh, me’ - but beyond that in an almost scary way? For where I was in life and what I was going through, Zack was exactly that for me, and I fell in love with how kept pushing through.

So that was four years ago, and I RP’d him privately within friend groups. Said friends of course moved on from the fandom and I just quietly always wanted to come back to him, there were so many things I’d come up with that I hadn’t gotten to using yet in writing.

So late last year when a friend decided to get into FF7 I made my blog(s) to join them. :3 I did go on hiatus when 7R came out to avoid spoilers as I didn’t have access to a console through the lockdown in my country to play, but I’ve finally returned. (And now you have like a million blogs shgjfjkasghfd.)

What keeps your inspiration going?

On a personal note, Zack’s been an intrinsic part of my life for the past four years. Even when friend groups moved on from the fandom in waves coming and going, he’s never really gone from my life because I live in a fairly small country and he’s one of two cosplays I’m known for here in con/geek circles. (I’ve even Cosplayed him for an official event! <3)

On a writing front, honestly, as I said before, I love the way he keeps on keeping on no matter what’s thrown at him. I don’t want his journey to end. I want him to fall again and again but also to conquer those shortcomings and rise stronger.

That doesn’t have to make him the strongest in body, but in mind that makes him a personal hero for me at least so he’s forever an inspiration. Despite the labels applied to his dream, (See my URL) the pursuit as such defines him admirably.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO. (I have a terrible habit of keeping most of em in my head, but they do exist. I’m trying to get better at posting them casually. I know they're good at helping prospective RP partners work out openings for interactions. ;; )

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. (Honestly this is usually what happens when I do try to do a HC post, It becomes a drabble incorporating it instead. Whoops?)

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

Criticism and Critique. Boy oh boy. That’s gonna be a pass, please.

Unsolicited criticism sucks. That’s not what I’m here for, nor many of us I expect. Miss me with that anxiety spike. I’ve done study in writing for films. I know a lot of technical stuff. But I also enjoy switching that off and allowing things to happen. I’m also a performer, and the the improvisational and spontaneous reactionary side is just as important as the plotted. I’m here for fun to explore what I want with other like minded people. Not for criticism.

‘Hey have you thought about ___’ - that’s okay. If we grow together, cool, that’s great! In fact, it kinda leads into the next question.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  

Yeeee! Please. Just be aware I’m sometimes slow with my inbox though I am getting better at this!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? 

Unless it’s something that clashes between our two muses like a death or lack-thereof, or important shared-background things that needs discussing, I don’t think there’s much reason for it to be brought up. My headcanons exist for the general purpose of ‘without outside influence, this is my default.’ - that’s it. Sometimes they just aren’t relevant.

If it’s simply ‘I don’t like this this idea’ see the next answer.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

If someone does, please don’t tell me. You can go write him yourself or find another closer to how you perceive him. My portrayal is my own, and I don’t need to conform to your idea of what Zack would do or say. Neither of us need to waste energy on this.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

If it’s my muse, fine. But don’t get aggressive at me about it. I’m also a Genesis mun, so I get the rivalry. But cool your jets.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  

Sure. In fact please. Honestly, @ RP partners, I don’t mind if you quietly fix em yourself. Dyslexia’s an uphill battle. I’ll often edit posts after the fact if I notice my own mistakes, so sure. But @ Readers, please don’t get at my RP partners grammar. This is consent for my writing, not theirs. Though also don’t be a pick-apart grammar police just to get to me. Have some sense about it. ;)

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

I can be very talkative. Honestly if that surprises you despite my choice of muses with Zack and Gen then gaia help you. So uh, heads up on that. If I haven’t talked to you yet, the key word is ‘yet’ - I’m just working out where to start or for something to react to.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  @lifedxbt​ tagged me for returning from hiatus so I should probably do this. :p Tagging: Uhhhhh, it big. Do if want? Yay. (It took me two hours)

#You got it (Tagged) #//I've had this stored in my drafts for weeks whoops #//That said I've mostly been on Genesis but wanting to make more of a push on here too <3 #//Say hiiiii #//This is a BIG tag tho so I don't want anyone to feel pressured #//But please take it if you've been itching to give some insight between your connection to your muse #ooc #//Oh yeah I need to make an OOC tag whoops

[padfootagain]

For the music event!!!

Submitted by @amysandiago :

I am so excited about the music event! As a Chinese, I often want to recommend songs to people from other countries, but they probably aren’t interested because they don’t know the language. These may not be the best songs ever, but they are songs that I like and are familiar with, and I will provide a little context so people aren’t just hearing jumble of sounds lol. 

小日子 (Little days) by Joey Yung: Joey Yung has been one of the most famous singers in HK for years now, and she was the first celebrity that I actually cared about lol. (Forgive me, this playlist has many of her songs in it oops.) This song is about a couple living simply and peacefully, without needing to show off their love to others, or be rich or important etc. Imagine a royal!AU fanfic where someone abdicates to marry the person they love instead of following through with an arranged marriage, and they go off to run a little flower shop together. Very soft and very lovely.  

搜神記 (something about looking for a god?) by Joey Yung: This song is actually quite feminist. It is about a woman realising that she has placed too much emphasis on her (male) lover, and that she has neglected the beauty of the world and herself in the process. In the end, she decides to walk away from all that and puts herself first. In the end, she finds the god in herself rather than in others.

損友 (Bad friend) by Joey Yung: Joey is actually famous for her sad love songs, so I have to include at least one lol. This is about how the singer is in love with a player (bad friend isn’t exactly apt, but I am sure google translate did its best. Maybe friend who is an unhealthy influence?). She chooses to be with him as a platonic friend instead, as a friendship is more secured than a short-term fling that can end at any moment.

黃色大門 (The Yellow Door) by Joey Yung and 紅屋頂 (The Red Roof) by Denise Ho: The Yellow Door is a song about the singer’s fantastical world, featuring angels, dinosaurs and gardens behind wardrobes, that she escapes to from the harsh real world. The best I can describe it is as a theme song for Pisces, and I love how whimsical it is. The Red Roof is along the same vein, about the singer holding up a red roof, a whimsical and imaginary world where people, especially outcasts are welcomed and loved. I put these songs together because some people have theorised that the songs are about closeted gay people in HK, and rumours of a romantic relationship between Joey and Denise added weight to the theory. Neither of them ever confirmed their relationship, and Joey had never made any statement regarding her sexuality AFAIK. But Denise came out as gay back in 2012, and she has been a LGBT activist since then.

勞斯．萊斯 (Rolls & Royce) by Denise Ho: This leads very nicely to another song by Denise. Two guys fall in love under the proximity of studying in the same school, but they do not end up together due to society pressure and homophobia. In the end, the singer says that there will be no change in the society unless people come out as who they are. I didn’t appreciate the beauty of that song until I realised that I am bi. And it is very brave for Denise to publish a song as explicitly gay as that one, seven+ years before she came out formally, as Asia is on the whole much more conservative.

人海中遇見你 (Meeting you among the crowd) by Johnny Yin: Another happy love song. It is mainly about how lucky the singer feels that he can encounter the love of his life among a mass of people, and how he cannot wait to share everything with them and hopes that it would always feel like home where they are. It is a popular song in weddings, as you can imagine. xD

突然好想你 (Suddenly Missing You) by Lala Hsu (originally sung by MayDay, not to be confused with MayDay Parade): Another fairly famous song. I personally like the cover better than the original. The sadness is more subtle in this one, laced with a bit of exhaustion if that makes sense. It is about how the singer is scared of suddenly hearing about her ex out of the blue after losing contact for a long time, knowing that it will bring back pain and hurtful memories. She also wonders about them, where they are now and how they are doing. I bet many people can relate to that.

我不願讓你一個人 (I won’t let you be lonely) by MayDay: Yay for lyrics! It is an angsty song about a man who still worries about his SO’s wellbeing after they have broken up. He prepares extra clothes for them when it’s cold and asks for their opinion out of reflex even though they have moved out. He doesn’t want them to be lonely and face the harsh world alone and wishes that they will find their happy ending one day.

給自己的情書 (A love letter to myself) by Faye Wong: I like to listen to this song when I feel down and need a soothing pick-me-up that isn’t power rock&roll lol. The song basically advises people to love and care for themselves, and their love will shelter them from the rain like a tree, even if they have no one but themselves to rely on.

缺口 (Gap/notch) by Harlem Yu: The English translation isn’t perfect, but here you go. Just a simple love song about who people who complement each other despite their differences. I also recommend the movie this song is from. It is called Café. Waiting. Love. It is a rom com and features a super hot lesbian barrista who regrettably, isn’t the main. :P

童话 (Fairy Tale) by Michael Wong: Eng subs! The singer wants to be an angel from a fairy tale, ad protect his lover and gives them a happy ending. I remember the international students singing this during mealtimes even though they didn’t know a nick of mandarin lol. But the lyrics are repetitive, so they got the hang of it. xD I will always remember the song fondly because of that.

下一站天后 (Next station Tin Hau) by Twins: Tin Hau is actually an underground station in HK, but it can also mean a famous female singer or celebrity. Even when the singers are about to become huge singers, it would mean nothing without the people love most there listening to them. And all the fame and adoring fans pale in comparison to the prospect of singing softly to their lover in their home. (I probably love domestic love songs way too much…)

小酒窝 (Dimples) by JJ Lin and Charlene Choi: Another love song with eng subs! Two people fall in love gradually, their favourite facial features of each other are their dimples and long lashes. Cute and soft. All fluff. :D

手紙 ～拝啓 十五の君へ (Letters to my 15-year-old self) by Angela Aki: Another motivating song. It is not in my native language, but it is too beautiful not to be included. Even when your dream is hard to reach, and you want to give up, or you feel lost and tired and sad, it is important to just keep going. I also recommend this cover, and bonus: it has English lyrics lol which everyone should read because it is motivating and sincere and touching and I love this song.

浮生盡(????) instrumental cover by 鍾嘉鳳: GuZheng is a Chinese instrument that I personally feel is especially suitable for playing sad love songs like this one. The sounds are truly beautiful so I have to include at least one GuZheng piece!

Secrets track 22 by Jay Chou: A lovely piano piece from a Taiwanese (?) movie called Secrets.

My Tamako, My Sookee (soundtrack from Korean movie The Handmaiden): People probably know about this already but I love this piece of music so much I have to mention it lol.

Fate of Us (soundtrack from Japanese movie Tomorrow I Will Date With Yesterday’s You): Another instrumental track. It would sound more heart wrenching once you have watched the movie. Yes, you should definitely watch it but make sure to avoid spoilers cause there’s a big twist coming.

Smother and Youth, both by Daughter: People can probably find this so I am not going to link. Sometimes I just want to wallow in sadness and no amount of happy songs will get me out of that. This is when I turn to these songs, and basically the whole album lmao. There is something soothing about listening to songs that seem to understand what you are going through.

Sounds like Somewhere by Lily and Madeleine: Another happier song. This, combined with track 9, 14 and The Yellow Door from 4 are my stables for getting out of a sad mood haha.

I am sorry this is so long and I am so rambly. But I do get so excited when people are interested in Chinese music lol. Hope you enjoy. :)

Thank you so much for your rec-list! I’m so happy to discover some Chinese songs, all these singers have such beautiful voices!! Joey Yung’s songs are so gorgeous! Thank you as well for the comments on each song! Thank you for taking the time to do this!!

[loving-jack-kelly]

Davey in Eb Minor

Davey Jacobs had lived in New York for a long time.

It was an ideal place for a writer, full of noisy, loud areas and just as many quiet places, tucked into narrow streets with big windows.

There was always something going on, always something to write an article for, always something to add to one of his books, even his day job was full of inspiration, people who came to the library with lives lived and stories to tell.

After almost ten years of living in the City of Dreams, he’d thought he’d seen it all. Naked people painted bright colors, people fighting loudly, strange costumes, every culture he could imagine, artists capturing the city on the page. People walking dogs as big as he was tall, people walking dogs smaller than his shoe, people walking kids on leashes, once a person walking a rat, several times people walking cats.

And yet, he’d never seen anyone quite like the artist that had captured his attention today.

It was Saturday, the library had already closed, and he had been looking forward to sitting down in his favorite little cafe with his laptop and working on his historical fiction novel; he’d found a new history book in the back of the library while taking inventory that had so many little details he couldn’t wait to fit into his story. Instead, he found himself standing still and watching the only other unmoving person in the crowd around him.

Artists often had easels set up on corners, either tucked back against the buildings or up to the curb, it wasn't a rare sight. But normally, they were still and quiet, moving their arms, smiling at the people around them, displaying their work for people to buy.

This guy was moving like he was dancing, clunky headphones over one ear but off the other, paint-stained beanie perched precariously under the headband of the headphones, flannel unbuttoned and showing off his undershirt, skinny jeans and bright red converse. When he flicked his paintbrush up against the canvass he went up on his toes, he sidestepped as he swept sideways, ducked his head as he went down.

Davey automatically generated a description for him, how he would write him into a story.

Gracefully normal, delicate yet strong, controlled motion, dark and beautiful, insight, tall, gorgeous.

Davey couldn't stop watching. Every once in awhile, he would pause, look up at the sky, and smile, before picking a new color and beginning a new pattern on top of the old. He finally finished his painting, slipping his headphones down around his neck, and smiling at his work.

“Oh. Hello.” He said, looking somewhat startled to see Davey standing so close.

To be honest, Davey wasn’t much less surprised. He’d started out far enough away it wasn’t weird, but ended up so close he could see into the artist’s bag.

“Uh, hi.” Davey felt his face heating up and barely stopped himself from hiding his blush in his elbow.

“Uh...did you need something? Or were you just looking?”

“I was, uh, writing. I mean, thinking about...watching you. Watching you paint.” Davey physically flinched at how awkward his sentence was. The artist smiled, understanding what Davey meant.

“You can’t even see the painting from there. Come look, if you want to.” Davey stepped around the legs of the easel, and took in the painting.

It was big, and it was bright. Colors swirled in and around each other, an abstract cityscape in colors that shouldn’t have belonged together but somehow did. There were loops of dark blue in the shapes of people, grays and greens weaving into buildings, oranges and pinks in the sky, all touching and blending, coming together into one picture.

“I guess that means you like it.” The artist’s smile grew.

“What?”

“You said ‘wow’ out loud.”

“Oh. Um, sorry.”

“Why? It was a compliment.” He took his beanie off and ran his fingers through already tousled hair, streaking his bright colors into the dark brown. “I’m Jack. Jack Kelly.”

“Um, Davey Jacobs.” Davey watched again as Jack pulled a small white card from a pocket of his bag, signed it and added a title before sticking it into the bottom corner. “Beethoven's Concrete in F Major. What does that mean?”

“It’s the colors of Beethoven’s Eighth making a cityscape. A symphony of concrete.” Jack’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to check. “Oh. I have to go, Davey, right? But here.” He pulled out another little white card and scribbled something down, handing it to Davey quickly while folding his easel and picking up his painting gently. “Text me, yeah? You seem cool.” And just like that, he melted away into the crowd, leaving Davey standing on a corner with a little white card with messy handwriting telling him Jack’s phone number.

By the time Davey finally made it to his cafe and pulled out his laptop to write, he found himself distracted by the little white card in his pocket. He wanted to text Jack, find out more about the artist who’d managed to distract him for almost a half hour from his book he’d been so excited to work on. Something about him had just seemed interesting, and Davey wanted to find out what exactly it was.

He tried to write, but his characters kept getting confused, one from a short story slipping into his historical fiction, saying sentences they shouldn’t be saying. He could tell it wasn’t good, no matter how much he tried, so he eventually closed his laptop and settled for reading his new book, taking notes on what he wanted to use.

The little white card came out to be used as a bookmark, and again Davey stared at the number for a little while before finally entering it in his phone.

Davey: Hello.

Davey: This is Davey.

He sighed and put his phone down, trying to look back to his book but again finding himself even more distracted now that he’d sent the text.

Jack: hey :)

Jack: sorry i left so fast i had to

Jack: get to the museum for a delivery and i almost forgot

Jack: :P

Davey tapped his phone against the table, trying to think of what to say back. Before he could, Jack send another text.

Jack: i can’t do anything else 2nite even tho i don’t rly have to be here bc they say they need me but they don't

Jack: but we should like meet somewhere sometime

Jack: bc like u kno stuff about me now but idk anything about u so

Jack: that seems unfair

Jack: how bout like saturday night or smth

Jack: or not cause i just realized we met like an hour ago on the streets of nyc so that’s not very comforting oops

Davey: Saturday would be fun

Jack: :) cool!

Jack: i get out at seven on saturdays if that’s too late

Jack: oh yeah i work at the moma

Jack: museum of modern art

Davey: I’ll meet you there then

Jack: yay! c u then!

Jack: :)

#Asper Yells #txting #i wrote this #sami #synthesia #jack kelly #newsies #davey jacobs #javid #uhhh plese appreciate this

[darkcloud-kcalifornia]

Alright, season finale time for My Little Pony.  I’ve been trying to avoid spoilers for this one.  No idea what’s going to happen.  So, let’s see what goes down in “Shadow Play”

* We open on the book that got the ominous sting at the end of the last episode.  So yeah, I guess we were in the finale then.

* Huh, a different set of Elements being talked about here.  OK, we’ve got Rockhoof as Strength, Flash Magnus as Bravery, Meadowbrook as Healing, Mist Mane as Beauty, Somnambula as Hope, and who I’m guessing is Star Swirl the Bearded as Sorcery.  [note to self: look up actual names]

* And apparently they had been gathered together by somepony else to embody their ideals, like the Mane 6 were.  Was this Celestia, or somepony else?

* Ooh, the gatherer was a unicorn stallion, but the ancient Elements came to believe he was just wanting to use their power for himself and so they cast him out.

* Then he became Shadow Pony, and the Pillars stood as one against him.  They beat him but had to make some kind of sacrifice to do so, and created a seed to carry hope to the future.  I wonder, was that seed the origin of the Tree of Harmony?  I’m also seeing the emergence of the sun and moon on the sides of where I have it paused right now, so maybe it’s the origins of Celestia and Luna?

* Incidentally, I am loving this lore dump.

* Oh good, Sunburst was smart enough to make a report on this directly to the Alicorn Sisters and the Mane 6.  I guess he knows who has to deal with all the destiny crap around here.

* Huh, apparently Celestia never knew what happened to Starswirl, but these were apparently his last words before vanishing.

* OK, so Celestia and Luna were around back then, but young and had only ever met Starswirl.

* Reluctant nerd hoofbump. Also, I like how Celestia doesn’t know much Old Ponish anymore due to disuse.  It’s a nice nod to what happens when you don’t use something.  I can’t imagine how bad it would be after 1000 years. I’m a bit surprised Luna isn’t more familiar with it though, given how she spent most of the time sealed away. Unless she was fully cognizant of the passage of time during those 1000 years, which is… fairly nightmareish.

* So, more to Old Ponish than she thought, actual other languages being used, or Starswirl just had horrible hornwriting.  You decide!

* Ah, sloppy writing. Only readable by somepony who is ever worse at that kind of thing.  Anyway, the last stand was at the Temple of Ponhenge at the base of Mt. Foal.  …OK, I know they try and fit in horse puns, but “Ponhenge”?  Surely they could have done better than that.

* Those ruins look nice and ruiny.  Also not much like Stonehenge, which again makes me wonder why they referenced that.

* Be careful what you wish for Twilight.  Also, be careful where you place ancient magical tomes.

* Ooooh, ancient holographic display of the final battle.  So, sealed away, and the objects each pony carried are somehow related. Well, they’ve got the book, and they know where the mask is at least, so that just leaves the flower, the blindfold, the shield, and the shovel.  Gonna be honest, might be hard finding a flower after 1000 years.

* Never underestimate Twilight’s ability to be a nerd.

* Right, so banished to Limbo, but they had to take him there themselves and so got stuck there with him.  …Who’s gonna be the idiot to try and get them out and release the Pony of Shadows in the process?

* Twilight!  Twilight shall be that idiot!  Come over here so I can slap you!

* RD does not like demonstrative models.

* Boo!  The Map stepping in to help the search is cheating! Although this might be seen as the Tree of Harmony trying to get its parents back.  Kinda touching if you think of it like that.

* Skeptical archeologist is skeptical.  Somepony should tell her she’s in a fantasy series.

* Had no idea AJ was that strong.  Oh well, Shovel Get!

* Rarity’s problem to overcome is crappy gardening?  I can’t say I think much of Mist Mane’s descendant if it never occurred to her to, you know, perform upkeep.  Or hire others to do it.  Heck, just apply for a government grant if money’s the problem, that place has got to be a historical site, and once you attract tourists you can get money for, you know, upkeep.  Flower Get.

* Actually Flash Magnus’ shield being in the Dragon Lands makes quite a bit of sense.  It was made to combat dragons after all.  Makes sense that either it would accidentally get left behind after an expedition, or stolen by the dragons to keep it from being used.

* Also, neat to see a Spike/RD teamup, even if it’s likely gonna last a minute or two of screentime.

* Ugh, seriously, Garble has it?  Somepony just kick that idiot in the face so this can be over with.

* Garble is stupidest dragon.  Seriously, he just got outwitted by Rainbow Dash.  Well regardless, Shield Get.

* Fluttershy… just help to move the zap bee hive, and didn’t even need to do that to get the mask. She just felt like it.  But then arguably her trial was a few episodes ago anyway.  Mask Get.

* Pinkie’s trail… was very Pinkie.  And that ooze was a lot less dangerous then they made it out to be.  Um, Blindfold get?

* How is Starlight the voice of reason with regards to the risk involved in this plan?

* Why didn’t Pinkie wash that thing before bringing it >P

* Oh, gee, Starswirl is horrified that somepony broke the seal what are the odds?

* Way to summon the ancient evil, Twilight.

 And there’s the end of episode 1.  Time for a stretch and snack I think.  Let’s all go to the lobby, let’s all go to the lobby…

 * Yeah, having a backup plan in case the ancient evil escaped as well would have been a great idea, Twilight.  You still have that slap coming.

* Twilight and Starlight are able to hold the PoS back with a double tech… but can’t stop him from escaping at the speed of dark.  Nice going, Twilight.

* On one hoof, having the person you’ve revered all your life give you the dirtiest look for your incompetence must suck.  On the other, she really has this coming.

* Heh, Pinkie pointing out all of the other threats they’ve had to save Equestria from is a good one. And I like how Magnus is totally down for teaming up with the modern heroes to beat PoS into submission.  But Starswirl is going to be an absolute grumpy gus about this.

* Yay, source of Tree of Harmony, and the Elements, confirmed!

* And now Starswirl is planning on sacrificing the Elements to seal PoS again.  Despite the cost to Equestria.  Yeah, getting Outer Senshi vibes from this guy.  Which is a shame, because all of the other Pillars seem to be perfectly nice and affable ponies willing to work together.

* And Twilight’s search for a different solution… just has keeping the Pillars around while still sacrificing the Elements.  And yeah, the Pillars made the elements, but did so over a long incubation period. Try following Starlight’s advice and look for a non-banishment solution, stupid.

* Kinda funny how the heroes are having trouble tracking PoS down because Equestria is a better place, so all of the old dens of darkness are just fine these days.

* Starswirl needs to get his head outta his flank.

* I think some offense was taken.

* Yeah, the narrative is leaning pretty hard against Starswirl and towards Starlight here. Especially with the whole “Once a villain, always a villain” bit.

* Thank you, Starlight, for actually asking what happened all those years ago.

* Huh, Sirens confirmed as series canon.  Odd. Mind you I don’t know that much about them as I’ve never watched the movies, but some things are unavoidable knowledge if you hang out online in the fanbase.

* The PoS’s name was Stygian?  Man, it’s like his parents wanted him to go supervillain.

* So Stygian gathered them together to fight evil, but got jealous.  At one point he stole their artifacts to work some spell or another, but was discovered before actually finishing and was cast out.  And when he came back he did so as Dark Death Evil Man. But as Starlight helps to point out, they don’t know what exactly he had been trying to accomplish with his spell, though their guess is stealing their power.

* Yeah, Starlight has had enough of Starswirl’s crap.

* Now I’m wondering who build the temple to the Shadows, as apparently it already existed before Stygian came upon it.  Also, never listen to the mythos spoken from the depths of the Earth, dude.

* Oh look, there’s more to the story than meets the eye, who could have guessed.

* Well, Twilight’s been holding the idiot ball all finale thus far, but at least she noticed the pony of Stygian within the Pony of Shadows.  Not sure diving in was the right idea though.

* OK, Stygian’s side comes out, he wanted to make copies of their artifacts in the hope it would make him a Pillar and he could join the battles.  That’s still something you really need to talk about before you go stealing stuff.

* Rainbow Friendship Lasso Beam go!

* So The Shadows are banished, but Stygian remains.  Happy end!

* Aw, Starswirl commenting on how tall Celestia got is cute!  And Luna asking not to have to turn in the essays they were supposed to 1000 years ago is just funny.

* Can’t blame the Pillars for wanting to see what’s changed over the course of a millennia.  Of course there’s the problem of nopony’s gonna believe who they are.

 And that’s the end of the season.  It was pretty good all things considered.  Although this ending does make one question how things are going to work out with the non-reformed villains.  OK, Sombra isn’t likely to be a problem, but he is still awkward in that they killed him all kinds of dead.  But the new characters introduced seem decent enough now that we actually get to see them in something other than tales.  And I’m still curious about who built the shrine to the Shadows.  Evil cultist ponies!

Also, I may not care much about shipping debates and all that, but I can definitely see Rainbow Dash/Flash Magnus being a thing.  At the very least they’re certainly chummy with each other.

#tv talk #episode reactions #my little pony friendship is magic #MLP:FiM #mlp s7 e 25 #mlp s7 e26 #shadow play

[nickireadstfc]

The Foxhole Court, Chapter 3 - Ball Is Life

In which things get progressively gayer, Neil has a boner over Orange Sportsball, Andrew’s Serious Issues™ continue and youth alcoholism has never looked this good.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Foxhole Court.

           Neil spotted the Foxhole Court long before they made it onto the stadium parking lot. Built to seat sixty-five thousand fans, it’d been placed on the outskirts on campus.

SIXTY-FIVE THOUSAND WHAT. To put this into perspective, the three biggest stadiums currently used in American lacrosse seat 30,000 (Harvard Stadium, Boston Cannons/Harvard Crimson), 34,000 (Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium, Chesapeake Bayhawks) and 70,000 (Sports Authority Field at Mile High, Denver Outlaws).

It should look something like this (the Hard Rock Stadium in Miami, used in football, seating exactly 65,000):

And that’s the seating capacity for a shitty Exy team.

What the fuck. I’m beginning to realise that this sport may be bigger than I initially thought.

           Neil went up to the fence and stared through it at the outer grounds. (…) It made every hair on his body stand on end, and his heartbeat echoing in his ears sounded like an Exy ball rebounding off a court wall.

This is some Oliver Wood type of sportsball obsession, holy shit. Calm down, hombre.

(Will I make a Harry Potter reference every single chapter? Probably.)

And now, things get good:

           “What’d your girlfriend get you [for your birthday]?”

           Neil looked at him. “What?”

           “Come on, cute face like yours has to have a girlfriend.”

Okay, first I freaked out over this because he’s canonically cute omg this is the best th-

And then this happens.

           “Unless you swing my way, of course, in which case please tell me now and save me the trouble of having to figure it out.”

NICKY I LOVE YOU. YOUR ASS HAS JUST BEEN INSTANTLY PROMOTED TO SECOND FAVE.

Canon gay people!! I expected this but still!! This is chapter three and we’ve already got canon gay people!!

Am I biased because of my own queerness? Totally. Ya girl loves herself some good representation.

But hold on, my friends! This masterpiece of a scene isn’t done yet!

           Neil stared at him, wondering how Nicky could care about such things when the stadium was right there.

I am HOWLING. This may be the best sentence in this entire chapter.

BALL IS LIFE. BALL IS LOVE.

Neil has priorities, you guys.

           “I don’t swing either way,” Neil said. “Let’s go in.”

           “Bullshit,” Nicky said.

           “I don’t,” Neil said, and impatience put an edge in his voice. It wasn’t quite the truth, but it was close enough.

Spoiler alert: He’s demisexual, tumblr (and certain demisexual friends) have told me this as I got it wrong in my powerpoint slideshow post. Sorry about that.

S/o to all my demisexual peeps, and s/o to Nora Sakavic for representation beyond the usual. ❤

           The majority of the pictures looked like they’d been taken by one of the Foxes themselves. These were scattered anywhere they could fit and held up by tape.

Where is the Foxes’ snapchat I need to see it.

Nicky probably uses the Fox filter all the time. Andrew probably hits him for it.

           Exy was a co-ed sport, but few colleges wanted women in their lines. According to Fox lore, Palmetto State refused to approve any of the women Wymack asked for his first year.

*effie trinket voice* That is MISOGYNY!

           Nicky tapped the faces in the closest photograph. “Dan, Renee and Allison. Dan’s good people, but she’ll work you to the bone. Allison’s a catty bitch you should avoid at all costs. Renee’s a sweetheart. Be nice to her.”

Yet another quote I fucking knew by heart before even starting the books. Y’all really aren’t very creative in finding captions for your grunge-y pastel moodboards.

Also, if Renee is such a sweet soft angel (which is pointed out again later, so I believe it), the fuck is she doing with the Foxes? Has she killed a man with kindness? Am intrigued. When do we meet this murderous snowflake.

Next up, they enter the actual stadium and Neil proceeds to have the Biggest Sports Boner Ever over the court.

I can’t quote here because this description goes on for two pages, but I would like to point out that this is one of the most well-written passages of the book so far. I had the scene play in my head like a film, lights flooding the stadium, Neil imagining what it would look like flooded with people caught up in thrill of a game, his longing to play this court even if it will cost him his freedom. Chapeau, Miss Sakavic.

Also damn. And they said Kevin is the obsessed one.

(Cue generic “enemies discover they have more in common than initially thought and overcome their differences by playing sports together and become close friends” trope.)

(I apologize for calling this generic. I love it.)

           “Satellites can pick these [windbreakers] up in outer space,” [Neil] said.

           Nicky laughed at that. “Dan commissioned them her first year here. She said she was tired of everyone trying to look past us.”

Nicky laughs, my skin is cleared, my crops are growing and an angel gets his wings.

Also I will present this Dan with the Best Captain Ever Award instantly when we meet her.

           “You know we donate a portion of our ticket sales to charity? Our tickets cost a little more than anyone else’s because of that. Renee’s idea. Told you she’s pure gold.”

WE HAVE FOUND THE SECOND HUFFLEPUFF THIS IS NOT A DRILL. RENEE LET ME LOVE YOU.

And now it’s Orange Sportsball time!

           “Is Kevin not going to play today?”

           Nicky looked surprised that he’d ask. “Kevin only tolerates our court under two conditions: Alone, or with Andrew on it.”

Ah yes, thank you for reminding me, I had momentarily forgotten what level of EXTRA Kevin is on.

           “Thank you,” Neil said belatedly.

           “Huh? Oh no. Don’t worry about it. You can make it up to me some other time when the others aren’t around.”

           “Can you try and get ass when I’m not standing right here?” Aaron asked.

I thank our otherworldly overlords every day for the comedic gay blessing that is Nicky Hemmings.

           “If you take German as your elective here, just let me know and I’ll tutor you. I’m good with my tongue.”

For fuck’s sake, keep it in your goddamned pants.

Or, as Germans would say: Jetzt ist nicht der richtige Zeitpunkt, den Lörres reinzuhämmern, mein Freund. #erstmaldlrh

Also, is this Erik guy for real? He sounds p irrelevant. 10 bucks says they’re gonna break up.

They play a beautiful game of Orange Sportsball, Neil gets a glimpse of happiness (yay), and on their way out they are greeted by Kevin being Mad and Extra.

           Kevin got right in his face and tangled his fingers through the netting on Neil’s racquet. (…)

          “Forget the stadium. Forget the Foxes and your useless high school team and your family. See it the only way it really matters, where Exy is the only road to take. What do you see?”

          [bla bla long sequence in which Neil ponders on the fact that Exy is Everything™]

          “You,” Neil said at last.

          “Tell me I can have your game.”

          It wouldn’t do them any good, but Neil wasn’t going to get into that. “Take it.”

          “Neil understands,” Kevin said.

*”enemies discover they have more in common than initially thought and overcome their differences by playing sports together and become close friends” trope intensifies*

Do people ship those two? Because I can totally see that happening.

Speaking of shipping: Andrew is back!

           [Andrew] scooped the whiskey up and twisted the lid off.

          (…) “About time you stopped that, don’t you think? Abby’s going to beat me senseless if she realizes you’ve been drinking.”

          “Doesn’t sound like my problem,” Andrew said with a brilliant smile.

Daamn Andrew, back at it again with the youth alcoholism!

I’m not kidding though, manic Andrew scares me so much more than soulless Andrew did. I want my murder son back, not this fake-cheery, Joker rip-off version.

I’m temporarily comforted as we are reminded that Wymack is, in fact, the Best Person Ever:

           “Showers aren’t communal here. Coach put in stalls when he built the stadium. The board wouldn’t pay for it – they didn’t see the point – so it came out of Coach’s own pocket.”

LET ME LOVE YOU, YOU WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING.

Andrew makes fun of Neil for wanting to shower in privacy and for having a beat up body, Neil freaks out, yadda yadda, go die in a fire, you manic asshole.

Also, I know this isn’t what’s meant here, but I’m really liking the idea of trans!Neil. Scars on his torso? Always showers in privacy? Changed his identity and his name? Just saying.

They then drive over to Abby’s house, who also immediately claims a place in my too-big heart:

           “David? Shut up and make sure the vegetables aren’t boiling over. Kevin, check the bread. It’s in the oven. Nicky, table. Aaron, help him. Andrew Joseph Minyard, that better not be what I think it is.”

What. A. Mom.

For the record: I’m chipping in with Nicky’s betting pot as well. Those two have skipped long past the boning zone, straight into actual married couple land.

Everyone gathers round and eats some lasagna like the wonderful dysfunctional family that they are. Yay. Now I want some lasagna.

(Note to self: Do not read before dinner.)

Then, Neil is taken to his new home by Coach Wymack, and Nora Sakavic gets childhood abuse trauma spot on once again:

           Getting in the car alone with [Wymack] was the hardest thing Neil had done all day. Andrew was crazy, but Neil had an ingrained distrust of men old enough to be his father. He spent the entire ride frozen and silent in the passenger seat.

Kudos.

However, of course, Wymack is totally undeserving of distrust as he is the Best Person Ever, Coach of Champions, Owner of My Heart.

           “Use what you need, and take what you want from the kitchen. It’ll piss me off more if you act like a skittish stray cat than it will if you eat the last bowl of cereal.”

Happy sigh.

Nicki out.

#the foxhole court #tfc #the raven king #the kings men #nora sakavic #nicki reads tfc #erstmaldlrh

[hookprevails98]

Negan (17)

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Negan asks. I'm at my door. Just down the hall from his, as usual when we get back from a run. I just want to drop right now. Honestly. I'm so tired. "P-put mmy sssstuff back?" I ask. Brownie is hanging over my arm. Kind of like bird. Her head is on my hand, too. It's cute. I want to put her down on the bed so I can get food and a leash. Negan shakes his head. "You really don't fuckin listen when I talk, do you, Doll?" He asks. I frown. What is he talking about? Is he kicking me out? Did I do something wrong? IS it Brownie? He's making me move somewhere else because of the puppy? "You're staying in my fucking room until you can fucking move on your fucking own." What? With him? His WIVES don't even do that. They aren't allowed in his bedroom. He screws them in his office, in their rooms, but never in his bedroom. "Hurry the fuck up." He orders. "Put the fuckin dog in your room and get the fuck in here." Okay. I flinch and start into my room. Everything is just how I left it. So I put Brownie on the bed. On the pillow. She stirs, but she doesn't wake up. Which is good. She's so cute. I hope she doesn't mind being alone. Since NEgan probably won't let me bring her into his room. And what does staying in his room entail? Bed-bound for awhile? It's just staying down as much as possible. I can walk around. Obviously I can walk around. I can function. Why does he want me in there? Sex? Is he just going straight for it? I'm not ready for that. Not even close. SHIT. I have to pay him back for the puppy. Right? That's......I have to. It's how it works here. "Negan?" He's already in his room putting his stuff back. He looks tired. I won't come in more than just inside the doorway. He has a nice room. The bed is huge. Like bigger than any I've seen. Could probably fit like five people. And he has red blankets. Numerous red blankets. They're huge. They look warm and comfortable. His pillows are thin, though. Without sheets on them. They don't seem to fit. He has thee book cases, too. They're old, and a little damaged. The weight of the books is making a couple of the shelves bend down towards the middle. It looks pretty....dangerous. For the books, at least. And the floor is carpeted. Like a weird green soft carpet. Much different than my room. He has a table on the other side of the room from the bed. It's big enough for two people maybe. "What is it, Doll?" He asks. He's using the tone he only uses when he doesn't need to put on a show. It's his tired tone. He doesn't always have charisma. I look down at my feet. "Wwwwwhy-why-why-why- " Come on, Evelyn. You can do this. "Why a-am I....." "Staying my room?" He finishes. I just nod. "Because I fucking want you here. I can't keep a fucking eye on you in your own fucking room. You stay in here, you can't lock me the fuck out." He knows I lock my door? Does he try to get into my room or something? That's....weird? "You afraid I'm going to fucking try something?" He asks. Now he's standing right in front of me. Fuck thanks. You're making me feel really really small. I grab the strap on my bag as tight as I can before letting his question settle in my brain. Try something. Sexually. I shake my head. But then I sigh and nod. "Will you?" Fuck, get your stupid voice back, weirdo. "Probably. You say no, I'll fucking stop. For now you fucking rest. That's it. Put the fucking bag down wherever you fucking want. Then take a goddamn shower. Use mine." His? He has his own personal one, I remember now. It's connected to this room. On the left wall. I feel like if I move....I don't know. I just feel really stiff right now. Like...a little frozen, I guess. Nothing feels......right. I guess. I sort of feel in trouble. "Something the fuckin matter, sweetheart? Scared of little old fuckin me?" He asks. I flinch again, which probably answers his question. Fuck. Calm down. You're home. You can actually be a little more calm. You can calm down. You're safe. He said he wouldn't hurt you. "Shower." I mumble. Can't take my eyes off the floor now. Stupid me. I'm being stupid. I step around him and go to put my bag in a corner. I need clothing. Preferably something that'll cover my arms. Get the next week's worth of long sleeves, and hopefully check on Brownie. Too much to do today. I just want to collapse. It's so much. Granted, I wanted a fuckin puppy. This is my stupidity. My problem. "I got-gotta-got-gotta g-get......get a leash. And fffffood. Shhhower.....l-later?" I ask him. My bag, which is an old computer bag, gets set in the corner by the door to the bathroom. "Where the fuck do you think you're going to get a fucking leash?" He asks. I sigh. James. He'd know, right? He gets things. He knows how and where to get anything. He got me a necklace. He can find a leash. "I j-just...nnneed one. I-if I'mmmmmmm g-gonn-gonna wwwwalk-walk her. Sssssssssso shhhhe- " I feel like I can't breathe. You just gotta compartmentalize. You can take responsibility. You do it every time you go out on a run. Focus. Fucking focus. Or he'll get mad. Fuck that's not helping! "Leash......food.....w-walk, shhhhower. Sleep." I realize my eyes are closed then. Oh great, you look like a fucking freak. The tension is getting fucking worse. I open my eyes and force myself to look at him. He just looks confused as shit. Like....really confused. Fuck DARYL could decipher what I was trying to say. He's not Daryl. "I-I hhhhhave thhhhi-things. B-befffffffore I c-can show-wwwww-wer. L-like.....clothing?" I gesture down to my still cut up shirt. My arms are hidden by my coat, thankfully. "Sssssor-rry." I mumble. But I DO need clean clothing. He sighs heavily. "Hurry the fuck up, then. I want to fucking take a hot fucking shower." He mutters, heading towards his bed. Wait what? I frown, but brush it off. Doesn't matter, yet. Just get what you need to get done right now, done right now. One thing at a time or you'll get overwhelmed. Last time you let that happen, you nearly got your head cut off. Literally. "Thank you Negan." I rush, well about as much as one with a cracked rib and a whole their chest can rush, towards the door. "Anyfuckin time, Doll."

"J-james?" I ask quietly. He's in the kitchen making dinner since it's so late. Me and Negan got back just before sunset. Lucky us. Everyone is preparing dinner right now. It's weirdly dead in here. James, the head cook, and maybe five others? That's not a lot considering how many people are normally here. It's usually always buzzing. But they're playing music and no one's talking to each other. It's hot like always. Oh, they're cooking meat. Yay. Sounds like real fun, meat. Ugh. James is in the back doing the cutting. He likes cutting. Everything. It' his thing. "What?" He looks up from the current piece of red meat. Looks too serious, James. The only time he looks serious is when he's working or ranting. So a lot. But he see's me and his eyes go wide. "Evs!" The knife gets discarded on the small table he was using to cut, along with the meat being temporarily forgotten. "HUH! MMM!" I squeak. He's wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. We're about the same size, and he hugs around the stomach area. Cracked ribs and hugging really don't go hand in hand. At fucking all. "J-j- " Can't breathe. I am being stabbed. Holy fuck me. PAIN. PAIN. PAIN. PAIN. "I thought you were dead, Evelyn. Where the hell WERE you? Where the fuck have you been!" Why is he fucking yelling? Why do you have to yell? And squeeze. Fuck it hurts. It hurts. It hurts! I can finally breathe when he lets me go. Which is when I grab the table. FUCK YOU YOU DICKHEAD MOTHERFUCKER! "What the fuck did I do? Too strong?" He ass. He sounds like he's about to laugh. Ha ha, this is so funny. Hahahahahahahhaha fuck you. Fuck this hurt. Fuckity fucking fucker mother fucking shit-face. "Seriously, I thought you were dead. What the FUCK is wrong with you? Being gone so long without telling me. You always fucking tell me." Oh gosh. I'm sorry. I didn't exactly plan on getting shot. "I-I was.....hhhhurt." I shake my head. Pain is too much. It's gonna take a couple minutes to recover from that stupid fucking hug. "Hurt? Shit girl, you don't look hurt. What the fuck happened?" He asks. Good question. I hold back a groan. "Got shhhhot." I answer quietly. Thank the universe I changed my stupid shirt before I came out. It's too hot to wear my coat right now. But the long sleeve isn't so bad. Not once you get used to the heat. "Shot? You got SHOT? Who the fuck shot you? are you okay?" He asks. I just nod. "C-c-c-c-crrrr-crack-ck-cked rrrrrrib. Sssssor-ry I've b-been gone. D-didn't ex-ex-exact-tly p-pop-pop-pop-pop up on my cal-lllllender." I joke. He smirks for a moment, then frowns at me. "You're okay?" He asks. Okay is relative. My head nods. "How's....how-how's your week b-been?" Nice question. Really smooth. You're great at talking to people, Evelyn. "Shit. I've been worrying myself sick over you. For good reason, apparently. I can't believe you were shot. Negan have you locked up or something?" I shake my head. "Good. Well I'm happy you're better. Nothing else really happened around here. Negan's wife Yuma cheated. You should see what he did to poo Mick. The guy's face is like Dwight's now." He makes a weird face before shivering. I don't like imagining that. Negan pressing the iron to Mick's face. The flesh melting off. Bleh. "Jamie and Francis are going at it again. I haven't been able to make a good run. Negan tightened security. The asshole. Speaking of guards, do you want to have dinner with me tonight?" That was a definite change in direction. Have dinner? Like.....a date? I feel sick at the thought. Not because James, no. I just.....a date? It's not my thing. I don't even know how to do that. And I don't want to date James. He's my friend. I'd go as far as to consider him being my best friend. But if we date, he'll want sex. And he doesn't know about my past. He's never seen my scars. He doesn't know me. I don't want to see the look on his face when I refuse him, or when he see's me. I don't know how to talk right, I don't know what he's like, either. Nice or.....like the other men. I know that Negan is fun, and he can be serious. I've made my decision, and it wasn't made lightly. James isn't the guy I want to date. "Evs." I flinch when he snaps his fingers in front of my face. He has dimples when he smiles. Like.....deep deep dimples on his cheeks. The one on the right side of his face is slightly higher and deeper than the other. "Dinner?" he asks. I panic. "Uh......I-I-I ac-actu-actuallllly-ly hhhhhave.....I-I got a- I got-I got- uh a-uhh p-pup-pup-pup-ppy a-and I hhhhh-h-have t-to fffffffffeed her ffffffirst. A-and find-find her a llllllleashhhhhhhhh." He looks very confused. Which is why, around feed her, I panic even worse and continue talking. "A-and I-I-I-uh-I-uh- '' My rambling is cut off by him waving a hand through the air. "I am not understanding a fucking word, Evs. Talk slower?" He asks. Slower. Right. As soon as I can breathe again. Funny, my side is acting like a rubber band conditioning tool right now. Which is when someone has the rubber band on their wrist and snaps it every time they have a 'bad thought'. Only I 'snap myself' when I get panicked or stressed. And by snap, I mean I actually feel serious pain in my side. Courtesy of my stupid fuckin rib. "Co-come wwwwith m-me?" I ask him. It'd be easier to show him, anyways. He nods, and I begin to walk out of the kitchen. Funny how when I first got here I hid behind NEgan. Not that I trusted him back then, but I trusted him more than I trusted these people. Now I can almost tune out when I walk around. Tuning out meaning I don't feel as scared as before, but I still flinch a lot. And I hate having James behind me. It makes me nervous. I know he's watching me. It makes me hyper-aware of what I'm doing. My breathing is louder, my heart is louder, my walk feels uneven and loud. Since I'm focusing on my body so much, I over-focus. Everything feels new. Like I've never walked before. Do I go from my heel to my toe, or the side of my foot inwards, or my toe to my heel? None of them feel natural. And I can't regulate my breathing right, either. It's like....I'm not getting enough air no matter how I breathe. "Pup-puppy." I open my door and walk to the bed. Brownie is sitting up now with her tongue hanging out. She almost looks like she's smiling. but that vanishes as soon as she see's James. Once he's in the room, she jumps down and trots over to my feet. Then she sits. Right on my feet. It's cute. I love her. "Oh ho ho, I see how it is. You got yourself a dog. Nice. What's his name?" James bends down and gently holds his hand out in front of Brownie's face. "Her na-name is Brownie." I answer. he looks up at me as he pats her head. "Brownie, huh? Huh girl? That your name? You're such a good girl." He scratches just behind her ear and her eyes close. She tilts her chin up appreciatively, it looks like she's smiling. "So you can't come because you have a puppy. Why don't you bring her? I don't mind dogs." Oh. GREAT. I just......you're not going to give up. Are you? "Nnnnnnnnnnneeed-need-need to wwwwalk h-her. Neeeeed a leash." She seems to finally get it. "OH. That why you came to me today?" I nod. "Alright, well you need a collar, too. I think I might have a leash somewhere. I can look around for you, get back to you?" He asks before standing up. Thank you! "Please? That-that-that wwwwould be s-so great. Thank-ank- you." The grin that spreads across his face suits him well. "You Could bring her to dinner if you don't want to leave her here. I love dogs." He offers again. Never did I think he'd be so persistent about getting a date with me. If that's what he's asking. Which.....is scary. And I already said I want Negan. So.....I sigh. "I-I hhhhhhhhave t-to eat wwwwith N-negan. I'm sssssor-sor-ry Jam-james. His smile fades a little. Fuck I'm a jerk. I shouldn't...he shouldn't like me. I don't talk a lot, and I flinch. And I'm flawed. HE just shouldn't like me. It's a slippery stupid slope. "That's fine. Another time. I'll get back to you with that leash and collar. I bet I could get dog food, too." He jokes before closing the door. Dog food? "Hear that? Dog food." Sounds disgusting. She should eat real food. I kneel down and lift her into my arms. She's so tiny. Not at all heavy. And she smells. Se needs a bath. I'll take her to the community shower since Negan doesn't like her. That way it doesn't disturb him. Wait how late is it? Fuck it's too late. The women's time to shower is the morning. The men get the evening. The time in between is mute. Doesn't matter who showers when as long as it gets done. Or whatever. Weird rules if you ask me, but I won't complain. So her bath will wait until morning. Or afternoon tomorrow at least. I HAVE to get a walk in soon, too. It would suck if she went in here. That would stink, and the cleanup would be ridiculous. So food, then walk, then I'll go back to Negan and shower. "It's okay, Brownie." I pat her head as she gets a little wobbly on my arm. She seems to like sleeping like this when I carry her. Draped over my arm with her head on the back of my hand. It's adorable. I just gotta get her some food. "Oh, it's so cute." Marsha, the girl that hit me last week, or the week before, says. I'm now in the dining hall and people are staring. Yay me. I look around, adjusting Brownie in my arms, finding Negan at a table in the corner. He likes sitting there because he has a full view of everyone in the room. It establishes dominance. He doesn't see me, yet, not that I'd expect him to. So I just make my way towards the kitchen line. There's a three table 'buffet' type thing along the right wall of the room. It's always filled with food for everyone. But I don't take my food from there, usually. I get mine directly from the chef, safe as Negan. But tonight I grab a plate for Brownie before making my way back to the kitchen. "Hey Hun. I got your plate right here." Timothy, the head chef, says with a big smile on his face. He's always happy, like cooking makes him happy. I think he said something about being a chef before the apocalypse. Guess he's lucky he's here now. He's taller than me by two inches at most, and very lanky. Most people nowadays are. But his face is round. It seems like every chef, the ones I've read about and seen in movies, are round in the face. It's weird. Like it's a rule or something. He's got a white beard going around his face that looks way too easily groomed. His cheeks are always a light shade of red as well. But he always smiles like he's happy. "Thanks." I take the plate and stack it with Brownie's. She's looking at the food now with big eyes. Her nose keeps sniffing at it, too. Yeah I know, me too. No one says anything as I make my way to Negan. I'd like to leave and eat in my own room, but he wants me here tonight. I won't disobey him. It still makes my skin drawl knowing that most everyone is looking at me. Well, at Brownie, but same thing. A few people 'aw' and a few people laugh. There are few kids here, I never see or interact with them thankfully, but they're staring, too. This is too awkward. It's hard to focus on carrying everything, making sure Brownie doesn't get the food before we sit, walking, and knowing who's watching me all at the same time. I almost drop the plates, but just barely catches them. But this results in Brownie slipping from between my arm and my chest. "No!" I gasp, but she just slips down maybe a foot of space between me and the floor. Once she's down there she just looks up at me and starts to stick her tongue out while she breaths. At least she's okay. I smile at her and nudge her bottom so she'll go towards the table. "Negan." I greet while I sit. Brownie hops up next to me, but I have to pat the bench first so she knows. It's cute watching her jump up. It takes a few tries, but once she's up she's up. "Evelyn. Get what you needed to fucking get done?" He asks. I put Brownie's plate down by her before going to mine. "Mhm." I answer. He makes that weird face again. "Yes sir?" He's never wanted me to say that before. Ugh, I should never have said it in the first place. "Wwwwwhy......why d-do you on-only now wwwwwant m-me to say that?" I ask. Thank you, Tim, for giving me these amazing mashed potatoes. I love potatoes. I'd eat them raw if I could. And I have, before. The're so good. And he always puts like...some weird seasoning in them that makes them so much better. He's a very nice man. "Consider it fucking entertaining." He answers simply. Okay. Brownie is very much enjoying her piece of....rib? I think those are ribs. Smells good, that's for sure. I've never even had them before. "That fucking thing better not fucking shit in my fucking Sanctuary." He points at Brownie. She's still struggling with the ribs. It's very amusing. "I-I'm g-going to walk hhhhhher. T-twice d-day." That's what......uh......someone told me that. I just don't know who. Maybe I read it once? Honestly it's too much fun watching her try to eat. She keeps fighting with the meat. It's getting everywhere. I'll definitely have to wash her now. My plate is just filled with mashed potatoes and gravy, along with a few select vegies. I think. A sliced tomato, a full sliced tomato, some baby carrots, and cheese. It's a lot to eat, if I'm being honest. "You fucking vegetarian?" He asks a few minutes into eating. He has a full plate as well. Kind of like me and Brownie's plate combined, but it looks more...globby. The mashed potatoes are on the ribs, and the veggies are pushed to the side of his plate. I shake my head, though, to answer his question. "Then why isn't there any fucking meat on your fucking plate?" He's not, this is honestly just his version of casual conversation. I shrug it off. "D-don't-don't trussssssst th-the mmmmmeat. Don't rrrrreal-really like it o-on it's own. SSssssssssstir f-fry is pr-pretty g-good, though." I wish I could ask him a question that would be somewhat good. I'm no good at conversations. He usually starts them and ends them. I try to hold on, but sometimes I feel like I'm drowning. Like I NEED to say something, or ask something. Like now. I can't take my eyes from him because I feel like I NEED to say something. When I open my mouth to try to speak, he looks at me and Brownie barks. Which causes us to BOTH look down. "What?" I mumble-ask her. Oh. Wow. She picked the bones clean. Now she's....looking at me? What? Do you think you get more? I giggle at her when she bites the sleeve on my left arm and pulls. "You're cute. But I'm not done, yet." I mumble to her quietly. Yes, I can feel Negan staring at me. Strangely enough, this doesn't make me feel so weird that I have to stutter. Which is quite nice, actually. "Hey!" Brownie lets me go, and I jump nearly a foot in the air when Negan yells. He's glaring at her, not me. Fuck that was loud. Now the whole room is silent. Why'd he have to yell? She was just playing around. He looks at me, causing me to shrink in my seat and force my eyes away from his down at the table. He's mad. I'm inadequate. He hates everything about me. I'm a failure of a human being. You cannot have an attack right now. You absolutely can't. NO. "Evelyn." He's trying to catch my attention. I think. He's dipping his head down so he can get me took at him, but I can't. He's officially put me in a bad frame of mind. I don't feel safe. AM I safe? Did I do something wrong? "Fucking look at me, Doll." He orders. I close my eyes, trying hard to regulate my breathing. My heartbeat keeps getting faster and faster. Brownie crawls into my lap before I feel her paws on my upper chest. It's distracting enough to get me to look down at her. Is she okay? "B." I run a hand down her back a few times. Her fur is so soft, it's honestly ridiculous. Not fair she's this soft. Not a bit. "It's okay." I whisper to her. She sniffs at my neck for awhile after that. It's cute. I almost don't want to look away from her. She's very brown. I have to admit the one white spot on her forehead is vexing. After another few minutes I pick up where I left off with eating. Brownie stays just where is in my lap. Standing in my lap against my chest. Loving the warmth coming from her. Are all animals this warm? Is it just dogs? Maybe it's all. I dunno. But she's definitely warm. I definitely don't mind her being warm. If nothing else, it's relaxing. "You done?" Negan asks awhile later. The dining hall is beginning to empty out. I'm struggling to keep my eyes open. Don't think I've touched my food in a good few minutes. Brownie is adorably looking around without leaving my lap. "Mmmm." I answer with a nod. Then I catch myself. "Yes sir." Negan grabs my plate, and Brownie's since I put it on the table when she finished, and stands. "Take her back to your fuckin room. Then get to mine." He orders before walking away with all our plates. Okay. That's....a very sketchy order. He said if I want him to stop, to say stop. It's safe. I quickly grab Brownie and make my way out of the room. "It's okay, B. I'll see what he wants and come back for you. I'm gonna walk you so you can go. I promise." I kiss the top of her very soft head. She responds by licking my chin. Which is disgusting, but cute. It makes me giggle. "Stop being cute, weirdo." I mumble. She licks my chin again. Ugh, the sheer adorable-ness it killing me. And it sucks that I have to lock her in this room. I hate that. I wish I could stay here all night. Pet her, laugh with her. Make sure she fell asleep without nightmares. Do dogs have nightmares? Do they dream at all? Obviously they're nice, but....they can be mean. Will she grow up to be mean? Because right now she's curling up on my pillow, and it's....so cute. She's so cute. I hope she isn't mean when she grows. I could never hurt her. And I don't want NEgan to hurt her, either. "I love you. But I gotta go. Negan, he wants to be a good person. He wants to help us. I'm sorry he's so scary. But he's a good person. He is. He's nice. I'm sorry he yelled at you. Yeah I am. I am." I kiss her head again. "I'll be back. I promise, B. I'll be back. Just don't worry." I stand up, but I'm worried about her now. I'm worried about leaving her. I'm worried about everything. I shouldn't be, but I am. Did I do something wrong? Did Negan not want me to keep her? Does he hate me? Will SHE hate me? Am I bad? Do I deserve to get hurt for being like this? I'm sorry I'm such a failure, I don't mean to be. I just.....I'm sorry. I'll do my best to make sure you're okay, Brownie. I promise. And I'm going to be good for Negan, but I won't let myself get lost doing that. It's a promise I made when I left Ivan. After he died. I promised I'd never allow myself to lose who I am again. I'm not mindless. I'm not property. If he thinks I'm bad for this, then he should say something. But my soul purpose on this planet isn't to please him. It's just not. *Knock knock* Always knock before entering his office. That's just how it should be. "Come in." He calls out. Stop your hands from shaking. It's safe here. I close my eyes for a moment before entering his room. "Doll. About fucking time you got here. You take that fucking shower yet?" He asks. I feel guilty when I shake my head. "Mind fucking sharing this time?" Sharing? The shower? With you? I feel very cold a the thought. I have all my scars, though. He really wants to see me? Naked? I look to the bathroom before looking at him again. he's waiting pretty patiently. He's been waiting for six months. And he DID say he isn't that patient. "Uhm......sure." I answer quietly. Though I'm honestly very tired. And shy. And.....he's him. "About fucking time. Been waiting long the fuck enough." He mutters as he removes himself from the bed. Oh great. I just agreed to it. To taking a shower with him. Naked. And I know how childish he'll think it if I want to keep my underwear on. He knows better than to think I shower in my underwear. It's too late to go back now. Much too late. "You coming, Doll?" He asks. HE's already out of his shirt. Fuck. Just go. Get it over with. e's not them. He won't hurt you. He won't expect anything of you. He won't make you do anything. I am safe. "Breathe." I order myself. We're sharing a bed, we might as well share a shower. And if I don't want to do anything, I don't have to. So I won't. I won't. My shirt.....I keep pulling at the hem of it. Even when I get to the bathroom and he's got the shower started. I'm afraid to take it off. I'm afraid of what he'll see. What he'll think when he sees it. And what....what'll happen. Either way. If he likes it or if he hates it. I can't take my shirt off. So O postpone that by removing my pants. My black cargo pants that I hardly ever change. I only have three different pairs of pants. And my underwear is just shorts. Not panties or anything like that. If I wear any, it's shorts. "You getting fucking shy now?" He asks. I glance at him and flinch back into the wall. He's already fucking naked. And suddenly I feel nauseous. I haven't seen anyone naked since Ivan. I haven't been NEAR anyone naked since Ivan. And he beat me within an inch of my life. It hurt. He hurt me. He hurt me.

Notes:

#Negan #The walking dead #Negan Imagine #The walking dead fanfic #Jeffery Dean Morgan

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good evening fellow redditers!​tks in advance for reading the following tale and for any advice you may have! buckle up, its a long one (although hopefully our collective wisdom can come up with a few lesson to help others).​---​So, 2.5years ago i joined a startup active in the autonomous robotics field, focused in increasing efficiency in renewable energy maintenance and ops. Clearly, a very specific niche, completely b2b and whose clients are ultimately rather large organizations - but in a very "exciting" and "upcoming" tech space blending hardware/software, iot, etc...​The company actually began 4 years ago by a friend of mine who was solo founder, but backed by a public-private investment firm that only funds renewable-related startups - (apparently this made valuation go from 0 to 1M kind of "magically", before any prototype or really, any actual product work was started. clap-clap?).​As the entrepeneur in this case had a science background (i myself am a business major and have worked in different countries, for organizations of different sizes, and had my own business in the past) we actually spoke at length during the process he went through setting up the business, getting his first coupe engineers, and actually having an MVP. When he needed to create a board of directors, he asked me to join, as his "delegated" director (4 members, founder has casting vote).​At that moment, the company started getting its first enquiries from potential clients, and since they could finally afford paying a salary, i was invited to "officially" join the pre-client, pre-revenue startup as their "COO" (LOL, i know! :D wtf does that mean anyway!?).​The actual job was to ensure all the daily operations of the business run smoothly. This meant creating and maintaining systems from acc/fin to HR admin/hiring to marketing to ops, and I even helped in the tech/IT admin side as I find that calming! :) I thought "hell, why not? these guys may actually be on to something but they clearly dont know a lot abt running a business, and i know i can help" - so i said yes, even though pay was shit (literally minimum wage!!!) and NO EQUITY WAS OFFERED AT THE TIME (the usual "lets talk about it latter" scenario... i think you may know where this is going now! :D)​After i joined the company (sept 2016), we won a few awards and grants, from applications/submissions i wrote (and stellar pitches given by the founder/ceo!!), got our first client (i went to a different continent to deliver the 20k usd kit to equip the client's robots and link up to our software, then did it again last xmas when his operation doubled in size) and hired a few more engineers. Tech wise, we're still using 2 year old version in "production" - suffice to say shit runs on ubuntu 14!!! theres only 3 engineers fulltime, all above average, but only 1 (!!!) is actually a computer scientist, the other are engineers who code... but the product does work, we've served over 1000 "units" of it, and feedback from industry has been pretty great (although its clearly still seen as a "nice to have" and not a "must have" kind of solution)​Fast forward to 2019 and the company is kind of stuttering even though we had our best year last year in revenue (100k,,, :/) and have actually signed up two new clients in Q1 - but the industry is moving fast, our CEO spent most of last year depressing about a failed fundraising round, then on a "startup accelerator" program abroad to "recover his mojo",,, and finally the competition has MUUUUCH deeper pockets (couple of companies,, have raised dozens of millions from vc and work with some of the same enterprise clients we have). Basically he spends most of his time selling, as he should, but unfortunately most of it is spent selling chunks of his company, rather than his companies products/services. In the meantime, I've actually been crazy busy building his business, haven't taken a proper holiday since I joined (literally, 4 days off in 2.5 years!!) and never felt this close to burnout (but im a horse,,, and can handle it "well"-ish. just gimme my caffeine!)​"Fortunately", there finally seems to be a new investor in the picture, and a binding TS has been signed for a 1M round at aprox 4M valuation. (YAY??). Now here's where the fun stars,, right? Well, in truth, the 4x members of the core team, myself included (but excluding the CEO and current 66% (!!) owner) have been feeling increasingly uneasy with the "overworked and underpaid, but too busy to talk about equity" routine and have started to care less and less - at least, i see clear signs of this in the team. I've brought it up with the CEO and he seems to think that its "my opinion" and that "the team is fine"... so, after much talking and little doing over the years (everyone is always "so busy",,,,) CEO finally found sometime to prepare a 7 slide presentation that concluded with a table that was borderline funny, if it wasn't so tragic!!​He listed our 4 names in the columns (myself, and the 3 engineers, which he now deems the "core employees", and the rows were: "percentage of my equity", "money value of that equity" and "cash bonus". The percentages was around 4% each,, then he had the nerve of multiplying that by the valuation of the upcoming round (!!!) and presenting us a dollar value in the hundreds of thousands... the cash bonus row on the other hand read "8 thousand". The "cherry" on the cake? 50% of the shares on offer were actual shares, from his stash... the other 50% were actually to come out from a "to-be-created-eventually" esop, WITH TWO YEAR VESTING!! :D:D:D:D:D:D​Naturally, I left that meeting and went on a two-week "vacation" immediately.​Which brings us to the present day. I came back from holidays, all is "business as usual" he keeps saying that "end of next month" the deal should close (and paperwork signed,, making us 4 "official shareholders", and "getting a Mill in the bank", while "maintaining control" (barely,, like 50.01% counting with us 4). We are about to start another season of field operations, meaning ill be out of the office most of the time actually "bringing home the bacon", while him and the engineers keep "daydreaming" next-version-features back in the office.​Ok, now, all bitterness aside (hard, yes, but i think I can do it), i actually think this is mostly just the work of an unseasoned and naive entrepreneur, who CLEARLY, has never done, nor thought abt any of this before (before going on holiday, i told him to read "hard thing about hard things", which he actually did for once - first business book he has completed in years!!! likes to say hes a "slow reader"!!!) - and NOT the work of some evil genius visionary. The team is almost as "oblivious", none of the engineers ever heard or really understood what an esop even is!! (ye, have i mentioned we're a loooooooooong way from silicon valley here?)​Which brings me to my options:​A) "fuckit!" you know how Jared from Silicon Valley always has his resignation letter ready to hand in!?! :D well, I've been carrying one in my pocket for the two weeks I've been back. Just need to date and sign it and done! but there goes the 1%, give or take, of common stock i'd end up owning after this round. Then go start/join new projects in completely different industries, etc.. (is the ICO craze still going on!?!?! :D)​B) "take a job with the competition" Im pretty sure I can walk into a job with one the leading competitors, at the middle-management level. funny thing is that job would pay me around 5x what i take home today as "COO" :D However, that would get me back to working for "the man", which is exactly what I thought I was "escaping" from when I joined this startup! :P​C) "show him how its done!" Not being one that likes to admit defeat, I thought if there are any "checkmate" moves available to me. Here's what I came up with.. (warning: the following is VERY Machiavellian! :D) Remember how I said the whole team is pretty inexperience? well, turns out neither the company name, nor the main brand that the company uses was ever registered neither in the US, nor in the EU, only in home country. I can incorporate a delaware company using the name of his company (but that name is then "taken" for business, as a japanese company owns that trademark), then register the trademark of his company's product name (which is available also for incorporation), then buy a bunch of related domains and URLs - perhaps even file a utility patent, just for that "patent pending" stamp :P. Then I could either turn around to his company's competition and offer this corporation (effectively blocking his entry into US market without a major rebranding/marketing/legal costs) or offer it back to his company - for the 10% total ownership he should have offered me in the first place!! (im cheap, i know! ;)​D) ... you tell me... how do i keep my dignity, not to mention my motivation, to stick with this prototype of a company when clearly, the owner is looking for employees and staff,,, not co-owners and partners?​et pour la piece du resistance*,*​the CEO and I are high school friends, have been in each others lives for decades, and very much enjoy each other's company outside the professional setting. I actually "miss" just hanging out, as you can imagine this whole mess has put quite the strain of the friendship. There's a saying in a funny language,, that translates to smtg like "you can lose the friend, but you can't miss the joke". Ideally, I'd like to keep the friend, but the joke DEFINITELY won't be on me...​ok,, you did it! thanks for reaching ::: THE END ::: go get a cookie before you get busy replying! you deserve it!! :DHave a great weekend!---TL,DR? hmmm founder of startup i helped build to 100k revenue over last 2.5 years offered me less than 1/5 of the amount ive put in sweat,, a.k.a abt 0.5% at NEXTs rounds valuation

#/r/startups #reddit