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#he can't catch a break with them lmaoooo
pedro-pascal · 2 years
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Obi-Wan vs. the Skywalkers 💆‍♀️ OBI-WAN KENOBI (2022) // ATTACK OF THE CLONES (2002)
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prncessrindou · 6 days
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SNEAKALEEK, manjiro sano ♱
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♱ CONTENT WARNING . . fem!reader, manila mikey, sneaking around, unprotected sex, a little bit of spanking, cockwarming and spitting.
♱ repost from wakashawty
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“Mikey, stop..” you whimpered, “you're gonna wake them up, ahhh—” you moaned as you slid back on Mikey’s cock, in the reverse cowgirl position.
Mikey growled and slapped your ass harshly, leaving a print then soothing the sting with his hand, “you’re the one moaning like you’re in heat baby,” he grinned, “if they wake up, it’ll be ‘cause of you.”
you are visiting your parents and they were persistent about meeting your boyfriend, Mikey, so you brought him along… since your parents are old school they didn’t allow you and him to sleep in the same room.
but, like the rebellious daughter you are, you crept to the guest bedroom where Mikey was... because you were cold and he's the only one that can fill- warm you up…( if you catch my drift )
now here you are. panties to the side as you pushed onto his length, “look at you,” Mikey leans up and places wet kisses on your back. “so pretty f’ me.”
he grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls you up, grabbing your cheeks and aggressively kisses your lips, pulling at your bottom lip as you whimper out.
“shit, you need to be a good girl and be a little quieter. your old man was already staring daggers into my head and I don't want him using real ones on me.” Mikey said, laying back on the mattress with his arms behind his head, enjoying the show you're giving him.
“can't help it! f- feels so good and you're so big, hnghh—.” you moaned into the sheets, fists clenched from squeezing the sheets so tightly.
Mikey suddenly grabs your hips and slows down your pace to the way he wants, “baby, you’re so warm. you gripping me so tight that I’m bouta’ cum.” Mikey grunts and pulls his dick out slowly. you let out a soft cry because of how your pussy is clenching around nothing. you want him back inside of you.
his length twitches as he releases his load on your pretty back. he groans seeing how fucked out you are, you then look back at him, “Mikey please, I want more..”
“yeah?” he asked, he pulls you up and now you're facing him. you slowly slide down on his length, arms wrapped around his neck and moaning as you finally take in all of him. “first.. look at me and open that pretty mouth of yours.” he said, his thumb rubbing your bottom lip.
you obeyed him and opened your mouth with your tongue sticking out, you knew what this was about.
Mikey got a good amount of his spit and dropped it down your throat.. you swallowed without him having to tell you so which made his dick harder inside of your warm walls.
“mm, good girl.. fuck.” Mikey moans. he grabs your face and kisses you like it was his last and breaks away to suck on your neck as you cockwarmed him.
“at this point, I don’t care if your father kills me or if your mother hates me. I want them to hear the lewd sounds their good girl of a daughter makes when I’m blowin’ her back out.
I CANNOT BELIEVE I WROTE THIS MONSTROSITY LMAOOOO
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thisismeracing · 11 months
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Everything has changed | CL16
Pairing: black!fem!reader (she/her pron.) x charles leclerc
Warnings: curse words, twitter environment, fluffffff, not proofread etc etc. Minors DNI!
Summary: Y/n, a famous singer, drops a song that is more like a letter confessing her feelings, and some fans are convinced it’s about F1 golden boy Charles Leclerc.
a/n: none of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps. everything else is made up by me and I do not give permission for it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛
a/n2: Last imagine I wrote for Charles (Babe) was angsty, so I thought I could do something fluff just because 🫶🏾
my masterlist | my taglist
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itsmeyn
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liked by lizzobeating, dualipa and others
itsmeyn New music coming soon ❣️
view all 10,809 comments
ynsunny I love the whole red thing going on! Can't wait for the song to drop
lovelyn1998 I wonder whose handwriting is this...
⤷ popynyln the crazies do be crazying huh
zendaya ❤️❤️❤️❤️
ynfrance WE ARE READY!!!!
portalyln new album when, queen?
fanuser wake up, mother, theyre creating theories about you on twitter
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charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, lewishamilton and others
charles_leclerc back home 💙
view all 8904 comments
sainzandrussel rest and get ready ❤️‍🔥 lets go!
lechairles IS THAT A SOFT LAUNCH????
ynandleclerc That’s absolutely a black girl and that is absolutely Yn Yln
⤷ oned1ream AND SHES WEARING HIS SHIRT 😭😭😭😭😭😭
charles1999 where are the pap pics, he must’ve paid them, not possible…
⤷ ynisland if this pic is really her, maybe. She’s able to pull that sometimes
f1hundreds Idc about anything, he looks happy 🥹
popynyln what if the crazies were into something?????
⤷ biebershawn well, at least the fact that charles is with someone they got right eh? hahah
⤷ redmercedes but that last pic is not proof of a relationship, its just a picture
⤷ biebershawn have you ever heard about SOFT launch?
ynportal waiting patiently for her username to pop on the likes… cmon, yn, I dont have all day
itsmeyn
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liked by yourbestfriend, spaceykacey and others
itsmeyn It feels so good to be home! ❤️
view all 14,670 comments
sunshineyln EXCUSE ME??? Who gave you the right to look this pretty???
delutifosi y’all know where this is right? is yn by any means Monegasque?
⤷ lovelyn1998 what do you think she means by “home”, bestie? 😇😇 the bullies are owning us an apologyyyy
⤷ ynfrance I CANT BELIEVE U GUYS WERE RIGHT OMG hahahaha
ynwinter she thinks she slick, the whole internet already knows, mother
taylorandyn nice soft launch, except some people figured it out weeks ago lol
midnightyn so you’re telling me not only she’s in Monte Carlo with Charles but she’s also with her friends AND wearing his shirt I-….
⤷ antiherobop can you imagine???? they probably already know each other and are really comfortable together, Im so happy if thats the case, Yn deserves a partner that loves all of her pieces and extentions
user10 she is literally glowing
⤷ charles1623 I would too if I were getting d- down by charles effing leclerc
⤷ fan43 LMAOOOO
itsmeyn
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liked by jorjasmith_, sabrinacarpenter and others
itsmeyn everything has changed
view all 19,976 comments
charlesleyn THEYRE BREAKING THE INTERNET!!!!
sayhello1d Omg can I please find someone who looks at me the way she looks at whoever it is? Like she’s so in love I wanna cry
ynmonaco Now I know because they were not seem each other, one look, one picture, one MOVE and EVERYONE would know they were in love, look at her!!!!!
carlitospain I can’t believe Charles Leclerc catched Yn Yln, its freaking Yn Yln!!!!!
⤷ lekingo16 homeboy has rizz lol
user80 She is so pretty I feel like crying
ynandcharles I feel so single looking at these pictures, its like shes mocking me 😔
charles_leclerc
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liked by itsmeyn, pierregasly and others
charles_leclerc everything has changed and I am so grateful for it ❤️
tagged: itsmeyn
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sunshineleclerc he really said fck soft launch huh?
delusitifosi WE TOLD YALL!!!! Now say you guys are sorry!!!!
ynwander The way he is hugging her in all three pictures 😭 yeah Yn looks like you really found home
pierregasly Now can someone other than Yn get those hugs?
⤷ itsmeyn no 👍🏾
⤷ charles_leclerc no 👍🏻
⤷ ynlilly HAHAHAHA I ALREADY LOVE THEM
lewishamilton the best looking couple in the paddock!!! 🤍🤍🤍
⤷ itsmeyn whatever you say is the law, so I believe it, bestie 👑💛
⤷ lovelyn1998 U TELLING ME SHES CLOSE FRIENDS W LEWIS????
user10 I am so angry I did not believe on those twitter girlies 😭
ynfeels I’m so happy seeing her being pampered, she deserves a calm love, I am really happy
itsmeyn I love you 💗
⤷ charles_leclerc I would move the world for you. I love you the most, mon ange
⤷ disneyf1 I feel like Im intruding somehow 🧍🏾‍♀️🧍🏾‍♀️🧍🏾‍♀️ they too cute
schumickey47 Do you guys need a son, a cleaner, or a dog maybe? I can bark etc
⤷ user1 LMFAOOOOOO
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********************
make sure you like and reblog <3 feel free to talk to me as well, my inbox is always open!
I will start a taglist on my posts, to be part of it you just gotta comment/send an ask saying so, and most important: have your age in your profile (I don't interact with minors!). See you guys next story! <3
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izzyspussy · 2 years
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anyway so basically the crew overhears blackbonnet finally having sex, right, and it's ed's first time vanilla-ing so for the crew members who have overheard him before... sounds different. and everyone also just kind of alsfjasl figured that stede is not great in bed just given his general swaglessness. so ASLFKJASL they assume that ed is faking for him lmaoooo. even izzy is in on this. he hates the "invasion of blackbeard's privacy" BUT he loves the insult to stede and the potential for trouble in pansyboy paradise.
so the crew are all trying to figure this out. they're trying to catch them In It enough to really tell if those noises are genuine (and also, on the part of the black half what the fuck is captain bonnet doing) but at the same time nobody wants to actually have to bear witness. those are their dads.
throughout these hijinks (which mostly consist of gossip), izzy and the black half occasionally mention jack. izzy has the most info about That Whole Thing due to his curse/privilege of having been ed's (best? only? can you be the best if you're the only? much to forcibly not think about) friend previous to all of this. ed and jack had a Thing when they were young, and they usually take it up again briefly whenever they run into each other now.
so of course izzy gets an idea. he's already basically done this once, can't hurt to try again. but the rest of the crew is in on it this time - where izzy is trying to tempt ed and break him and stede up, everyone else just wants a first hand Source.
so izzy contacts jack by way of plot device messenger seagull or whatever and he shows up again (not sure if dead in canon...?). ed isn't as happy to see him this time but he doesn't seem upset either, though he does take jack aside on the first night so he can receive his threat to behave from Blackbeard (TM) without an audience. stede also, uh, has some words of warning for him. the crew (and the audience) know not what stede said, but strangely enough that seems to have been the more effective Talk.
unfortunately for izzy jack's presence does not do fuck or shit to cause drama between ed and stede. on the one hand, ed now has a direct comparison to make between the sex he was having and the sex he is having, and he's coming up preferable toward the present. on the other hand, jack makes stede jealous, which makes him possessive, which makes him get a little less vanilla, so really it's a moot point regardless. co-captain sex gets better/worse, depending which side of the door you're on.
jack, however, has a mission and he's gonna see it through. not izzy's mission, that guy is a fuckin downer (and he himself doesn't really want ed back, never really did honestly). the gossip mill, though. that thing needs fed and by god jack is gonna feed it. least he can do for murdering that bird is to tell everyone if their poncy captain is a hardcore freak or not.
so jack gives up trying to make ed horny - and it's not that this wasn't working, it's just that when ed got horny from, say, seeing jack mess around with that fucking whip, his first thought was always to take that up with stede - and instead just starts asking him things directly.
ed leads ship's business one morning (they alternate who has to get up early) and underneath his steadily growing scruff he looks like he's been fucking mauled. from just under both ears all the way down below the collar of his not especially high cut shirt (and who knows how much further) he's absolutely covered in red-purple hickeys.
"thought you hated being marked up," jack not-quite asks. ed grins at him, uncomplicatedly happy (and that's the real difference innit). he's the epitome of 'bright-eyed and bushy-tailed'.
"nah," he says. "didn't wanna risk being marked up. but i'm fucking blackbeard now, i can do whatever i want."
(now jack would never, ever admit this, not even to himself. but maybe now he's the one who's a little jealous, because-)
"you were blackbeard last time we fucked."
"yeah, guess i was," ed allows, entirely unperturbed. "you didn't try it."
"would you have let me?" jack asks, already knowing the answer perfectly well. ed thinks about it, very briefly, shrugs again.
"prob'ly not."
later, stede calls ed 'darling' on deck. jack asks about this too, and ed simply tells him that stede also calls him 'baby' and 'sweetheart'. sweetheart! he repeats in credulity, shaking his head, pointing at himself.
(jack did attempt to call ed 'baby' - once - and had been told that if he ever said it again he'd have his dick cut off and fed to him piece by piece over a period of several days.)
finally, finally, jack can't take the 'mystery' anymore and, in a tight weed circle with ed and a few lucky crew members one night after stede has long gone to bed, he asks straight up, "so how does he compare?"
it takes ed a moment to realize what the fuck jack is asking, and when he does he laughs out loud. "what, to you?"
and really. that fucking answers that, dunnit.
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darlingpwease · 1 year
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Oh no.... red just happens to be one of my favorite colors..... /j
but I do plan on taking a break soon.... my eyes are getting stupidly dry so after I finish catching up on some books I'll probs take a break.... maybe.........
Melting??? How bad??? How quick???? Shall I help clean up???? Should I boost up the heating????? /t /pos
Damn.... infections and uncomfortable positions along with dirt,, or somewhere comfy and nice with a sly bubba..... hmm....
I think a hole is safer
Safer?? Tell me Dove, how so?? ...goodness, you don't plan on biting me to death, do you???
I feel you, I feel you. I'm quite literally a few more /s and /srs mix ups away from quitting /j
it is annoying tho at times, but I will remember the difference, purely out of spite.
HAHAHA NO WAY, THATS EXACTLY WHY I WASNT SUPER INTO IT LMAOOOO
I remember the first time I tried to read regular a×o and I hated the couple dynamic. Especially the "fragile, frail omega always in distress who needs their strong muscular dominant alpha to take care of them" vibes that happen a lot. Or the rape that happens. Yikes.
But when it comes to the more.... diverse(?) aspects of it, I'm feral. I'm so crazy about the ambiguity and how many different ways it can go. Hidden secret love?? Beautiful. Normal on the surface, but goes completely against societal norms?? Stunning. Crazy infatuation, and dependency on one another, due to similarities and also due to knowing juuust how to make things right for one another??? I'm foaming at the mouth. It's so good.
Hhhhhh, getting Yuuta that pretty skirt, you can't wait to take him out on a date and see him dressed so pretty <333 That's why you couldn't help teasing him once you did. Holding his hand while you two walk side by side,, loving the way he gripped onto you. He can feel the vibe pressing against his prostate, he's trying so fucking hard not to cum, not to draw attention to himself– when you gently caress his back, loving the way he trembles as his neck flushes to beautifully,,,
You just couldn't help dragging him to a secluded alleyway and just fuck his brains out,, nipping at his skin as he whimpers nonstop, tears slipping down his cheeks, mixing into the drool dribblin from his chin,,, slipping your hands beneath his skirt before gripping his thighs tightly, rutting into him uncontrollably–
You have to stop, but you can't. You both know the possibility of getting caught, especially right here, right now,, but neither of you can even bother to think of stopping. Not when it feels this good–
Especially with Yuuta gripping onto you, not letting you pull to far away, maybe he wouldn't mind being caught, showing how good you make him feel, how loved,, how he is all yours.
~
Toge swears he's not a pervert. But when such wonderful things are sent to him, he can't just put them to waste now, can he???
He's not a perv..... but when he hears Yuutas and ur voice, he does feel hotter,,
He really isn't one. But he can't help waiting in constant anticipation for you to send something new,,
Ha! A pervert?? How,, how can he.... fuck he can't stop shaking, he feels so so good but can't help but sob on how this just isn't enough–
He really, really couldn't help it when he called you up. You just sent him something new, and with your hoarse moans and Yuutas squealing as you just keep pounding him so hard, so good– he couldn't help calling you up, almost sobbing on how he wants it too– you fucking him? Him fucking Yuuta?? Maybe both??? And when he hears your chuckle, when you question him, "yeah? Is that so?? Keep talking, love, what else??" As Yuutas cries can be heard in the background, the creaking of the bed, the harsh slapping being heard, oh fuck, oh fuck this is so fucking good~ <333
shdgshdghdhdhd im insane
Nooo no, not insane, perfect mind and perfect thoughts. Could kiss ur brain if I could, mwah mwah, so wonderful <33
Big brain is best brain when it comes to all thoughts, but especially these one <333
Ouch?! ...the cavities are back. Ur too sweet. It's too much!!! What do I do??!?
That's understandable!! Thankfully it was like that, too, cuz then I was able to stumble upon ur blog lol
-panna cotta
sdgdhgdhgdd this explains a lot about your bully behavior </3 /j /pos
take please. we still need your brain & eyes. how do you plan to read how cute yuuta and toge are when they cum if you can't even provide your eyes with a normal rest??? weird </3 /j
or what; are you planning to stop with yuuta??? abandon yuuta??? leave him the same way you refused to handcuff yourself???
very bad, my heart just dissolves and becomes a slurry in my hands, OH, it hurts so much, AH, it even can't be stopped or wiped in any way, WHAT A HORROR, only your kiss can save m—
what vile words you say!!! I am the most sincere and harmless and honest company that could exist!!! not necessarily to 'death' actually...
exactly; between a hole and a nest, the choice is obvious — and it is not a hole <333
so true... one more time and I take up the knife </3 /hj
I don't. I don't remember. only when people ask — then I realize that hey, they're right, there's something wrong...
I've already said that I really don't like hetero omegavers with traditional aesthetics, but I understand you. sometimes fixation on instincts looks creepy, especially when "your body says otherwise😏" and similar crap begin.
but for me, it's rather not the dynamics itself or explicitly implied sexism and biological determinism, but a comfortable distribution of roles. if we take a world where omegas are really absolutely submissive and fragile, while alphas are aggressive and masculine, then the only thing that can be done is to recognize the projection of the writer and move on, that's just how their world works. another thing is when omegas are not fragile and submissive, but alphas make them so by raping and forcibly subjugating — it already becomes unattractively problematic and gross.
I love the traditional one, because that's where I met the idea of an omega who kills alphas by attracting them with his scent; a universe where omegavers exist as a primitive system, only to end up being not primitive people, but those who survived after a massive catastrophe on the planet that destroyed all civilizations and returned people to the stone age; a world where betas breed alphas with omegas as animals, being a 'superior race' devoid of sexual drives and considering themselves purer from that.
I don't like subtext and when it gets too unhealthy for me, but I drag and read everything else <3
shdhhdhdhd you are so so so right & stunning, honey,,,,,, like, so right<3333
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Yuuta in a pleated skirt with a high waist, at first shyly circling in front of you, trying not to let the fabric get in and expose the cute delicate underwear that he specially put on for you, — and you constantly praise him, whispering about how beautiful and cute he is in this skirt, you want to bring him out so much and to show everyone his beauty, but Yuuta always refuses, blinking with shame and shy delight at your words. When he finally agrees, interrupting your caresses, whispering a hoarse "yes" to your playful and only teasing offer right now to take him outside, you don't know if you are delusional or misheard — but you don't waste a minute when he nods head at the question, saying in a trembling voice that he agrees and he wants to go out in this form on the street, if you want it too, and you more than want it.
A few minutes are enough for you to be ready to go out, — first taking care of his sensitive body, — holding his hand, wet with excitement, whispering that his skirt is beautiful and his face is wonderful when you pull him behind you, almost instantly closing the door and hurrying outside, forcing him to take long strides and lift his skirt higher, exposing his thighs, making him blush even more, as if Yuuta no longer looks like he wants to hide in the nearest hole — but you seem to deliberately ignore his shyness, pulling him along, putting your hand on his waist, whispering that you will cover if there is a wind, it would be awkward if everyone saw his wet panties,
but after half an hour, Yuuta dreams of the wind that will lift up his sticky wet skirt, maybe then you will pay him a little more attention than the usual questions about his well-being and the frivolous "oh, well, then let's go if you're okay" when he clings to you, squeezing his hips together, being too close to lift up the fabric and show you how bad everything is with him, begging you, but he is ashamed at the very thought of it — breathing heavily, sluggishly moving his legs, feeling the heat of his neck and ears from shame and excitement, knowing that others pay attention to his strange behavior and appearance, everyone except you, and that you ignore him, waiting for him to be able to tell you how needy and wet he is for you.
When you grab his hips, lifting up wet soaked skirt, teasing for how little he needs to ruin his clothes, Yuuta agrees with everything you say, longing only for you to continue touching him, squeezing, kissing while people nearby make noise and walk by, going about their business, not even suspecting that you are about to fuck him in a dark, dirty alley — or suspecting when Yuuta cannot restrain an enthusiastic moan, like an addict, instantly clinging to you when you drive into his overexcited body, which is enough of this rough thrust, — but can still go on when you fuck him in a sloppy rhythm, letting him enjoy all the sounds that his needy body makes, greedily squeezing you, almost forcing you to stay inside with no way out.
But even if you are suspicious, too suspicious, there is no reason why questions should not arise, Yuuta moans through palm with each new touch of your skin to his, more than encouraging you not to stop, digging his nails into your clothes, almost forcibly pulling you to his hot wet body when you are too slow, teasing him with unhurried thrusts, whispering that everyone hears you, knows that he likes to be fucked in the alley; whining your name and begging for more even when shaking from a new orgasm, whimpering from too much stimulation while you drive in despite his need to stop, whispering something dirty, making him feel so shameful and blessed at the same time.
When he hears sounds too similar to someone's footsteps, but you don't pay attention to them or don't hear them? Yuuta's body is tense, so tense that nothing can escape his attention just to make sure that no one will disturb you, but he just stupidly kisses you, not even letting you suspect that he hears something, longing only for you to continue no matter what, repeating your name like a prayer, wanting to be caught and seen, fucked like your toy for entertainment, regardless of whether there is someone else here or not.
Maybe when you whispered that they could look at him, Yuuta likes to be looked at, it was a joke in a much smaller sense than you thought.
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Toga feels so messy and hot when you leave him on speakerphone, purring to Yuuta that another participant has joined you, but Yuuta only mumbles something in response, sobbing, whining long — before Toge hears your voice telling what you are doing with him now, how you are stroking, what touching, how excitingly Yuuta squeezes when you stretch him, how he trembles while you stroke him, caressing, soaking his skin with his precum, drawing lines and shapes while he pathetically begs you to stop teasing him, but you only say that Toge should also feel involved, Yuuta is not the only one who should have fun, perhaps you've spoiled him too much.
He does not immediately understand what is happening when he hears a dull moan from Yuuta, a rustle, an inarticulate whisper, which then changes to a slap — and a careful fall close to the phone; understanding occurs only when you start talking again, asking Yuuta to say hello (mentioning how frivolous and excited he is now, unable even to think sensibly from how long you have been playing with him, making Toge whine), explaining that the bed is not too good for transmitting sounds, so Yuuta will hold the phone while you fuck him so that Toge can hear everything well, — you will make sure that Yuuta gets punished if he puts down the phone, — especially what kind of slut Yuuta is for you, constantly begging for more, demanding more and more, offering everything that he can, longing to be bred even with the condition that the other person hears it, as long as you don't stop.
Toge is so sensitive, he hasn't even moved away from the last orgasm yet, but he can't help but touch himself, hearing Yuuta moaning and screaming with delight, gasping, whining, whimpering, begging you for even more, saying how amazing it is, how deep you are, how his body is shaking, no one will ever be able to make him feel just as amazing — and Toge just cums with his nose buried in the pillow, turning on the sound to the maximum, hearing your voice mixed with Yuuta's voice asking if Toge is having a good time too, and he is dangerously close to send you a photo of this mess and show how he feels. When his thighs are sticky and wet, they are probably the same as Yuuta's, but not at all from how many times you have had an orgasm and decorated his body, — and when you whisper in Yuuta's ear (or specifically teasing Toge) that by the time you're done, he won't even be able to bring his legs together, that's enough for both of them.
Toge does not know how to feel when he hears you kiss him, saying that he was beautiful today, such a good boy, you will give him a reward later, and carefully take the phone, ignoring the dissatisfied sigh of the exhausted Yuuta due to the lack of warmth and pressing against his body, asking if Toge feels well, and, having received a satisfactory answer, you will believe that you were happy to talk to him and he can always call you for any questions and problems, you are always open to conversation, just like Yuuta (mumbling something from afar, unable even to answer something from fatigue), and he's not sure how to answer.
(not that he could refuse such friendliness and hospitality.)
... say it now again, seeing all that I have written </3333 im not okay /hj
yes!!! you're just so good, I want to wrap myself around you and listen to you forever <333 /pos
I wanted to answer, but all the answers sound even more creepy than my usual ones, so, xxxx, I'll come back to you later!!! </3333
AWWWWWW <3 thank you so much for bumping into me once and staying with me, dear♡
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mrhowells · 1 year
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Smallville 1x19
Wait what? So Clark likes Lana AND Chloe? I am confusion.
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Lana looks devastated
Damn, he told Chloe about his powers just like that😳 Aaaand now he's off to kill the driver I assume.
"What's with you, Clark? Do you have some sort of savior complex?"
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CHLOEEEE I'M SCREAMING
THE PRINCIPAL???????
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Clark sweetie, I have not read this book but just from what I heard about it, you might want to get your information somewhere else💀💀
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I do find it hilarious that he's trying though.
"I'm trying to get an insight into the female psyche." "I seriously doubt you'll find it in here." LMAOOO😭😭
"I've got these two amazing friends who both happen to be girls." "For argument's sake, let's call them Lana and Chloe." LEX STAHP
fr though, this episode is so entertaining lmaoooo
THE PRINCIPAL'S SON????
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Chloe you're in troubleeee
I love it when Clark just yeets people, idk why
Lex really can't catch a break, ever😬😬
So now Chloe & Clark are going on a date, Lana is jealous even though she still has a boyfriend who she wants to break up with but can't because he just lost his dad & she pities him, AND Clark has unresolved feelings for Lana too...
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there's going to be so much emotional cheating I can feel it in my bones😶
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wthjillie · 2 years
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LDR Headcanons with our big dummy, Taiga Kagami <3
a/n: elloooooo i received some bad news so I need a good pick me up :-) therefore I shall write write writeeee about my fav knb boys bcas duuhhhh these boys have helped me thru some ruff and tuff times so here ya goooo <3 hope u enjoy, I tried really hard not to make these cliche
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You better invest in a high quality external battery bcas you're gonna need your phone on at all times haha
Without fail, Kagami always gets someone to personally record his games or livestream them JUST FOR YOU so you can always watch and keep up with his career
When you're on the way to school, he's usually just ending school so you guys video call while you get ready and while he heads to practice/the gym
When you're on lunch break, he's finishing up practice and headed to dinner so you try to eat 'together'
Just before your school day ends, he's headed to bed so again, you video call on your way home/work/etc.
Refuses to go to sleep without making sure you've reached your destination safely <3
See what I mean about that external battery? Trust me you're gonna need it
When he travels throughout the states for away games or tournaments, Kagami will always send you a postcard (you have them hung on your fridge)
Also loves to send you his old warm-up shirts or jerseys when his team gets new ones and they don't need them anymore
Who does he call immediately after a game? You. DUHHHH will always share some of the stats and give you a full run down (even if you were already watching live hehe)
ALLLLL his teammates know of you and love to tease Kagami about you hehe, he pretends to hate it but he secretly likes that his teammates luv u too
When you catch his games live on tv, he always mentions you in the post-game interviews
"And lastly I'd like to thank my amazing girlfriend! She's not here right now but I know she's watching from home!! love you baby, can't wait to see you here with me one day!!!"
Some of the Seirin boys have caught on to the timings throughout the day when you guys video call so they go on a rampage at lunch time to find you to see and talk Kagami as well
Don't worry, it only happens once in a while.. the boys know you like the 'alone' time with Kagami even if it's over the phone
When he sadly loses a game, he keeps it together until he's able to be alone at home and call you
He quietly cries while he's laying in bed and you know better than to say stereotypical words of encouragement so you just let him cry while you're video-calling
You try to pay attention but sometimes you get sidetracked, maybe doing homework or reading a book
After a while, he asks what you're doing and that's when you know it's fine to try and cheer him up now
You smile into your phone, simply explaining what you were doing or telling him about your book and he ends up falling asleep with a small smile on his face
end a/n: and there ya gooooo hehe idk what else to put bcas everything seems so basic and cliche which is everything Kagami is nOt lmaoooo <3
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heymacy · 1 year
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Oh god I love your head canon! Thank you for answering my question haha
Here’s another one for you- when do you think mickey realized he’s gay? Has he always known but couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud? Was he in denial for a while ? Who was his first crush ?
-anon xx
oh anon, you're breaking my heart with this one 😭 i’m gonna put my answer under the cut because it got a wee bit long (staying on brand here lmaoooo)
mickey's journey to accepting his sexuality was no doubt long and arduous and deeply painful. we see a lot of this in canon, his inability to admit to himself or anyone else that he's gay. we see it in season 1 with how he reacts to [redacted] catching them in the freezer. we see it in season 2 with how desperate he is to get rid of frank after he catches them in the same place. (hey, boys, maybe try somewhere other than the freezer?) we see it in season 3, though he seems to be coming to terms with his feelings for ian, at least until [redacted, once again]. i think the most significant component to his inner turmoil was his father, and even though he's now happy, married, and free from terry's clutches, he no doubt still has some internalized self-loathing to work through. even after accepting who and what you are, those thoughts and feelings don't just go away. it takes a lot of time and work to fully accept your sexuality when you've rejected it for so long, and there's no doubt in my mind that mickey's struggles with his identity didn't end when he came out, or when terry died, or even after that. but i do believe that eventually, with some therapy and support from his husband, that he's able to embrace and accept exactly who he is, completely free of self-loathing.
i think mickey knew from a young age that he liked boys instead of girls, but i don't think he acted on it or verbalized it to anyone. he was raised in a home where being gay was one of the worst possible things you could be, so that narrative ringing in his ears definitely didn't help his journey to self-acceptance. i think once he got a little older, probably all the while hoping these feelings would fade, he realized that girls were of zero interest to him, and that probably triggered a whole new onslaught of self-loathing and shame. the denial portion probably kicked in around 12/13, when those hormones and emotions are at a new and unprecedented high. it was terrifying for him to feel the things he felt and think the things he thought. but i think regardless of everything, he always knew. he didn't want to be gay, but he was. he is. and grappling with that, living where he lived, being around terry and his racist, homophobic family members - good god. i can't even imagine. i want to hug young mickey so badly and tell him that everything will be okay.
i have a little headcanon that ian was actually mickey's first crush. i think he took a shine to him during little league but of course, children are terrible at verbalizing complex emotions, so he probably expressed his crush by throwing baseballs towards second base and kicking dirt in ian's face when he slid into first. he liked him, and that made him happy and sad and a little bit mad. hence the dirt kicking. but ian was always there, in the back of his mind, the cute redhead with the crazy family that took baseball way too seriously.
also, steven seagal. canonically and headcanonically. (is that a word? it is now) we know the man loves himself some seagal. i like to think that at some point during their marriage, mickey tells ian he should grow out his hair so he can have a "powerful ass ponytail" too. ian shuts it down FAST, but it still gives them a good laugh.
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silverrstarrr · 3 years
Text
Headcanons of Eren with a Black s/o!🍡
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(Happy black history month babes! Remember blm isn't just in this month but all year long :p)
‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿
• You guys most likely met in your high school years.
• I feel as if Eren would stare a lot at you during freshman year. Not in a bad way but in a Curious/adoring way. I mean all his friends are white lmao💀
• He probably approached you during a class period you guys have together.
• I don't think he would be ignorant? But he'll most likely ask to touch your hair.
• Maybe you have braids, locs, or passion twist or your natural curls out/4c Afro—doesn't matter, he'll ask to touch your hair.
• Of course you can decline and tell him no, he won't really fuss over it. He'll even apologize.
• But trust me, he's going to keep staring 😭 he thinks you're really pretty, don't worry ;)
• He won't care about your Skintone/shade, lightskin, brownskin, dark-skinned. He likes them all, I don't see Eren ever have a preference in girls in general.
• Whoever he likes, he likes.
• You guys hit it off in your freshman year.
• He'll ask a lot of questions about you and your culture and your hair
"Hey, why do you wear braids??"
"Is your hair really this long? Wow 😁"
• PLEASE LMAO, I TAKE THESE AS AN INSULT BUT I KNOW HE'S JUST HE CURIOUS 😭
• You'll have to explain to him about your hair.
• You guys most likely snapped and he sent a streak of him getting out the shower and his hair is wet.
• You'll go on about how you can't wash your hair everyday, that you have a certain wash day and his reaction is like "😲"
• Poor baby is like "woooow" and ever since then, he's been hook up to learn about your lifestyle, your family, cookouts, etc. He just wants to know you.
• He calls you pretty a lot.
• Not in a flirtatious way just because he thinks YOURE really pretttyyyy. He's just stating the obvious queen🙄❗
• He offered to go to the Beauty supply store once or twice to buy your weave/pick out the next color. Or he'll just accompany you.
• Also would pick out your next nail color, maybe hairstyle.
• He doesn't care if you wear lakefront, wigs, braids, or natural. He believes they're all beautiful. Plus he understands that our hair need protective hairstyles and can't really, yjehehejehwhww iykyk.
• During BHM, he would do the mossstt.😭
• He'll buy you food and buy you hairproducts.
• He'll constantly post about African American stories on his social media.
• Talked Armin into making a poem about discrimination and racism then made him read out loud to you in the hallway😭
• Would buy a BLM shirts for him Mikasa and Armin.
"Look y/n! We're supporting your people. Remember we're on your side. BLM!!"
• IM CRACKLING TOO MUCH LMAOOOO.
• Don't worry, he's has the right attitude but mann💀
• Depends on the type of person you are: you probably confronted them and told them to relax. Or, you dealt with it and the embarrassment 😭
• You most likely ask him for Reparations 🙄❗🤞
• He deadass would give you them.
• He'll be confused at first and probably wouldn't  even understand the word 💀
• But he'll give you money though LMAO.
This was 15 year old Eren, moving on to when he's older.
‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿
• You guys are older. You've been introduced to the rest of his friend squad. Jean, Connie, Marco, sasha etc.
• Jean most definitely thinks you're pretty and fell for you at first sight. Eren didn't like this at all.
• Eren never really understood why he didn't like it when Jean played in your braids. Eren then started to purposely make you lay between his legs so he play with your braids before Jean could.
• They probably reacted the same as Eren about regarding your hair.
• Eren would take it upon himself to explain and even tell them about Lace fronts, sew ins, braids, etc
• He'll probably show off about  how much he knows about your hair.
• Eren would ask to help you with your hair.
• He most likely looked up YouTube videos about how to plate hair or how to deal with your hair type in general.
• You could probably teach him. He wouldn't understand the first time but with practice, he's pretty good. Not better than you though 🙄🤞❗
• Carries Hair ties, brushes and combs on him just for you.
• You also carry hair ties for him because of his long hair.
• You're the person who even puts his hair into that sexy ahh man bun🤨❗
• Most likely help you on wash day. Massages oil into your scalp.
• Supplies you with hairproducts.
• Likes it when you play in his hair. During PE, you guys would sit on the bench. Him between your thighs relaxing as you caress his hair.
• You guys look so cute and perfect while doing this. Connie and Sasha would always tease you about being Eren's gf.
• Loves your food! Like literally, he's in love with it.
• During the summertime, you invited him to a cookout. A lot of your family members stared at him but you know, they're accepting and gave him some food, chatted him with etc.
• Ever since then, he would always ask your mom to come over for dinner or save him a Plate lmao😭
• Sometimes if you were to cook, he'll be in the kitchen watching you
"Why are you watching me?"
"I wanna watch you so I can learn to cook your food and surprise you one day with it."
"Suurree but you can't out-cook me."
• He'll then smirk and accept that challenge.
‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿
Sorry I just realized I've only been talking about yall friendly part, lemme get into more intimacy 🥲
• He always have his hands on your hips, waist or ass.
• Maybe you're cuddling in the library or something, his hands are on your ass.
• Black women naturally have curvy bodies In my opinion. And curvy can mean thick, skinny or in the middle. They're still curves.
• He loves kissing your lips. Either that or your neck.
• When you're walking together he always have his hand around your waist.
• Eren seems like the type to hug you from behind and kiss the top of your head.
• I dont think he's big on PDA but that doesn't mean he won't do it.
• You're talking to Jean? Wraps his arms around your waist from behind and places his head on your shoulder- kissing your neck.
• If you so happen to have thay dump trunk in the back, he'll always caress it, give it a pat or smack it. But in the most sly way ever.
You're in the hallway, chatting up with Jean. You guys are discussing the topics of what was recently covered in class. Jean cracks a joke about how the teacher was talking and their looks. You laugh at the small insults he was throwing at your professor. Eren recently just left his class a few doors down from where you and Jean was. He notices your long box braids from down the hall and sees a tall male walking alongside with you. Eren quickly caught up with you guys. As he walked passed you, his hands slides over and grabs a good squeeze from your ass. Naturally you wouldn't mind but for some reason you got embarrassed and flustered. Most likely it was because Jean was there. Before you could respond  and complain to him, he leans over and places his lips against yours. Obviously, you kiss him back as his free hand grabs your chin, deepening the kiss. It was passionate. The kiss was probably to make up for his sudden actions but it was also because he missed your presence and touch. The way your lips felt against his own, his hands grasping and holding your hips rolled, everything. Jean rolled his eyes,
"Okay lovebirds, I get it." You break away from Eren with a small smile. You turn towards  Jean with an apologetic look, since he did just kiss you in the middle of a conversation.
Jean nodded and said his goodbyes, he'll catch up with you another. Watching as his figured faded within the crowd, you turn towards Eren and smack his arm. He let out an "ow" in response.
"Eren, what was that for? I usually don't mind it but we were chatting."
He lets out a soft groan and buries his head into your neck. He released the grip on your rear and just lays it there as his other hand slips down and does the same. You tap his back and he raises his head from it's previous position. You give him a few quick pecks, wrapping your arms around his neck, he quickly to returns the small kissed back. You both smile at one another, letting out a small giggle.
"Its okay baby, I miss you too." You peck his cheek for the last time.
"We can walk home together after school, meet me at my last period class." 
Eren face brightens up when you say those words. Mann, this boy was in love. The bell rang and you notice all the kids scrambling to get to class. He releases his arms from you and grabs your hand as you both scurry along to your next period class.
He drops you off and waves at Armin and Marco that happens to be in your last period.
"Remember your promise y/n!!" He said as he walked off to the direction of his class.
You rolled your eyes jokingly and settled in to class.
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Okay bonus:
I feel as if Eren would talk you into making those tik toks that beautiful darkskin/brownskin woman do with makeup and their cute ass hair. Of course you'll end up doing it because he kept hyping yo ass up and wouldn't let it down.
The video actually goes viral and gets a decent 345k likes with 1.1m views. Some of the kids in school  came across the video and started chatting up with you. Even some guys you never knew before started to hit you up but Eren gets so Jealous and has you hold his hands always in the halls 😭
Okay thank you loves! Please request/suggest things for him. I don't mind doing one of these for Jean, Connie, etc. Next up are my jjk men 🤨❗
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bonesandthebees · 2 years
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Bones i have an bizarre afternoon siesta dream involving the benchtrio. Okay from my perspective like it was an camera i saw c!Tommy along with c!Tubbo and c!Ranboo from an somewhat Modern Au but the thing they wore an different clothes like an newscaster for example for Tommy an plain white office shirt with an plain black necktie with an ear piece on his right ear. While Tubbo is wearing an headset and currently carrying an Camera like you know from Live broadcast while Ranboo is on an news van just vibing with his phone and listening to music as he watch the live broadcast on an small monitor inside the news van or something then it dawned on me. Tommy is an reporter while Tubbo is an cameraman and Ranboo is the News van driver and signal fixer. I couldn't hear what are they saying like it sounds an whisper or murmur... and then out of the sudden behind their broadcast my POV switch on the podium on the stage where i saw Schlatt yes Schlatt wearing an suit eyes gazing on an crowds of his listening to what he is saying and he begun speaking on the podium and i heard he spoke from the podium. "Hey isn't that the news reporters from disbanded news station L'manberg?" and then the benchtrio felt an shudder chills behind them as the crowds of Schaltt supporters turn their eyes on the benchtrio and i think Tommy do something that pissed them off where it resulted on Schlatt shouting on the podium Loud and clear. "BY THE POWER INVESTED ON ME BEING THE MAYOR OF L'MANBERG I AM GONNA DETAINED YOU THREE GET THEM!" And all hell break loose the crowds begun to chase on them as Tommy shouted "Run." and he and Tubbo bolted like there's no tomorrow where Tubbo is carrying the camera and the foldable thing that sets it up while avoiding for the headset on his ears to fallen off while running and Tubbo told Tommy to not pissed them off but Tommy replied "They are just a bunch of pussies. Can't appreciate an joke or two." he stated and he shouted at Ranboob to start the van. And i saw Ranboo scrambling to his feet as he desperately started the van and it begun to start with Tubbo managed to get inside while Tommy chase. Tubbo told Tommy to run faster as the crowd catching up on them and he grabbed the hand of Tubbo and managed to get inside safely as they drove out. The crowds expressed anger and frustration with Schlatt grabbing one of his supporters cap and throwing it on the ground and he shouted on the top of his lungs. "FUUUCCCKK". And that's where i suddenly woke up from my afternoon nap i quickly grabbed my notebook and begun writing it down vividly as possible. Man it was bizarre...
LMAOOOO this is such a wild au idea anon. Illegal news reporters au. not something I thought I'd hear but I can definitely picture it perfectly. also love the mental image of Schlatt throwing a hat on the ground and yelling fuck that's so funny. corrupt politician man doesn't want news reporters calling him out on his shit
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momowoah · 2 years
Text
Was too lazy to make three posts so here are my thoughts on the last trio of GG eps
Spoilers under the cut
Episode 10
Julien's smile when she looked at Zoya <3
Audrey being worried bc Max skipped classes and wanting him to be around + Julien supporting throuple is the best
Also Max not wanting to talk with or be around them...
Kate is hilarious sometimes
Nice change to see Audrey and Monet in the same place and not fighting lately
Aki's TikTok lmaoooo
That's so embarrassing, poor him
Max's smile after teasing Aki
Also Audrey and Zoya being completely friendly?
I will absolutely love to watch Monet and Julien fighting for the crown next season but rn I'm loving watching all of them be friends
Zoya really is becoming Luna's scheming prentice
Wasn't Julien crying every 3 seconds last week? Why is she so cheerful now?
Them pretending they're not in love
"You promised you wouldn't come" stop breaking my heart
Why is he screaming
Her hair is pretty now
Jor-Jor lmao
Luna in denial and Monet trying to hold it together
ELEANOR AND CYRUS!!!
Wait, so Blair and Chuck got Cyrus's mother's house before they moved to Paris or did they just decide to hold Derena's wedding there?
Vanya in the background too
DOROTA!!!!!! The truly best character of gg
Calloway is mentioned and suddenly Audrey doesn't know anything about them
Thought the lines Monet couldn't cross would be, idk, but it's literally inviting Ju-lions lol
These two shouldn't be teachers. Actually no teachers in this show should be teachers but whatever.
Luna really is in full denial
Why is Julien talking like she's also twelve
At times like this, I do not like Julien at all
"You weren't even supposed to be here" "Why do you keep saying that?" Aaaaaaaa
"I told you not to call me" I KNOW I SAID I WANTED ANGST BUT STOP
Aki sitting in the chair and looking up at the officer before smiling lmao
Bad timing but I love Jobie
The Max Aki scene was so casual but so good
More Blair mentions
I don't even know who was right in Julien and Zoya's fight, but Julien is annoying me more these past days so I'm going with Zoya
Roy saying he came for his son when he came for Gideon... No
Also I wish Aki wouldn't have let Max hear that
Why can't Max be happy
I like that Kate cares about Julien
The cellphone was a perfect catch... Did they combine a video of Kate throwing it with one of Scott holding it?
Finally Aki getting posts about him! Not truly GG until everyone gets a post
Still don't get why Zoya risked her scholarship
Yeah, Audrey and Zoya are right
Audrey and Aki, I love you, but leave Max alone until you realize how the three of you actually feel
Yeah, Lola is kinda meh
Call them out yes
The three were almost crying though
WHY DELETE HONESTLY
Ep 11~~~
Aaaaaaa Aki and Audrey just stop and apologize
Is Gideon like 2 meters tall or is he always wearing heels? I swear he looks way too much taller than everyone else
"and whichever sister you're dating now"
"They're just not, uh..." THEY'RE JUST NOT MAX
I loved her straight long hair btw
Ouch Julien, that must've hurt
Max talking about Heidi while Obie tries to pretend he's not listening
Did they ever interact before? I like this
Okay I like Shan
Why didn't Jordan just change the password or deactivate?
Wendy is Obie but teachers version
Shan is at the same time a bad and amazing influence
I feel like I know Julien's grandma actress
The fact that they called Jamison over will never not be hilarious
Still don't get why or how Aki and Audrey went from "something's missing" to "we only need each other" to "something's missing" again in like a month
I didn't even realize Z did her nails the first time watching, they are pretty
Also hopefully next season will be fully Zoya and Shan being besties bc I'm absolutely adoring her
Someone said Zoya was in her Jenny Humphrey phase and like yeah she is
The way Heidi had been back for what, two days and realized Max was in pain before any of his friends did is just...
Is this supposed to be two stock photos or young Julien and Audrey?
"The mood is dessert" lmao
Is it bad I can't understand like a single reference they make in this show?
Audrey crying bc JC is leaving is breaking my heart rn
I don't know if Shan is just improvising but if she's not then she's really good at noticing what others feel
And a really good friend
Then why did you go through with posting it Kate?
Why is everyone saying Nick's actor is terrible? There has been worse on this show
I really love how Julien and Zoya smile when they see each other
I hope we get more of Pippa and Bianca too lol
Max stop plz be happy
Again, genuinely thought Pippa and Bianca were going to kiss
"Some thing isn't missing. Is it?" "He's missing" "He's missing. It's him." And now I'm crying, best scene
Why did you give it to him Gideon? Wtf? Why would you say that?
Last time this took five seasons
Why were they so nervous, I don't think most of them ever sent a tip
No Lunet :(
Now EP 12 yay! Season finale!
Brutal! Yes!
Pausing the show to read the tips sent in is totally worth it
Absolutely hate this Max scene
There are 1263 tips of Audrey + Aki? Wow
And 8578 of Max
Is he wearing eye makeup?
"And we didn't get arrested in the process"
Everytime someone says "I gotta go" all I can think about is Serena, lmao
Luna and Monet suggesting Julien seduces Aki and sleeps with him + Audrey and maybe Max what
what was exhibit C..?
I don't really like how Audrey and Aki don't care about Max unless they want him but whatever
Still rooting for throuple, they are cute together
Also when they do care about him it's the best thing in the show
I have said this before but I really love how Aki and Audrey just try to figure it all out always together. She promised this in ep 4 and never even thought about doing it any other way
I still ship Julien and Obie idc idc
It's weird how Luna and Monet just invite the school to a house that's not even theirs
Camille speaks just like Monet
Cannot understand the rule of only walking but ok
Grace is cute
The way Audrey flipped her head to Aki when Max came in lmao her expressions are always gold
Zoya lmao
Cute couple (but um just to confirm how old is he?)
"Lulu" aaaaaaa
Zoya's look when she saw the Roger picture lol but like same
I would also be completely lost
"I only play emotional games"
She didn't get Frida Kahlo? Girl...
"Let us mean girls turn her into a mean girl" I love the way she says mean girl
Davis Calloway is acting weird
Audrey trying to smile when she calls them a couple
This episode has so much Lunet, I love it
Who sent Davis the blackberry? Was it supposed to be Julien returning it or is his lawyer going to be a big plotwist or something
Best scene in the show I don't make the rules they look so good all dancing together
Is it Audrey singing these little bits?
Still don't get how Audrey and Aki thought this idea would work
Don't know how but I'm still surprised by how JC Luna and Monet treat people sometimes, even if it was always like that
Zoya too apparently
"All or nothing"
"If you're in, we're in"
My throuple aaaaaa
The one for all rule scares me tho
Bc tv shows aren't exactly known for their not on-and-off, long lasting relationships
And if they breakup it will be harder for them to get back together
And two of them can't just come back together as a couple
So, no Akiaudrey, Maudrey or Akimax ever
Please don't break them up
Grace's "You think staying it's winning?" was probably the best line of the show, we rarely see the group as the villains, even in the og
"Three, Two, One" Lumax friendship ftw
Zoya is always making points
And Julien acts like she's in a completely different planet
They really need the truth to smack them in their faces to listen to it huh
Why didn't Kate just pay for the cab. Why confront her.
Camille is a biotechnologist and complaining abt schools closing in the pandemic?
Camille was right about GG (even though she sent tips herself so I guess not really)
Camille destroyed Kate and she still think that counts as standing up for herself
Julien really thought that would work?
Also Obie do you love her or not just stick to your choice
"I just told Camille de Haan off" you didn't
Kate literally just shut up
Go Nick
"One for all or none for none"
finally, throuple
The hug aaaaa
"Now remember, one of you gets me at midnight, and the other one gets to go to the station alone"
Julien and Zoya finally making up
"Anyone could have been it, even me" and the way her face lights up finally Monet as queen JC was too nice anyways
Please tell me they are going up against each other. I need the drama.
Cute throuple
Also the boss fight song while Julien does her speech and declares war on gg
Monet queen
Julien really just apologized for being a bad friend only to betray everyone she knows
Mutually assured destruction
Julien's "I know you love me, XOXO" yes
What was Kate's condition
What did JC send her
"I'm Julien fucking Calloway"
"Did you miss me? I know I've missed you"
Does real Gossip Girl start now?
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izzyspussy · 1 year
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I posted 23,652 times in 2022
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I tagged 22,086 of my posts in 2022
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#s: do you think whales have feelings. i: shut the fuck up. go to sleep. e: i bet they do. i think they probably sing love songs to each othe
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
anyway so basically the crew overhears blackbonnet finally having sex, right, and it's ed's first time vanilla-ing so for the crew members who have overheard him before... sounds different. and everyone also just kind of alsfjasl figured that stede is not great in bed just given his general swaglessness. so ASLFKJASL they assume that ed is faking for him lmaoooo. even izzy is in on this. he hates the "invasion of blackbeard's privacy" BUT he loves the insult to stede and the potential for trouble in pansyboy paradise.
so the crew are all trying to figure this out. they're trying to catch them In It enough to really tell if those noises are genuine (and also, on the part of the black half what the fuck is captain bonnet doing) but at the same time nobody wants to actually have to bear witness. those are their dads.
throughout these hijinks (which mostly consist of gossip), izzy and the black half occasionally mention jack. izzy has the most info about That Whole Thing due to his curse/privilege of having been ed's (best? only? can you be the best if you're the only? much to forcibly not think about) friend previous to all of this. ed and jack had a Thing when they were young, and they usually take it up again briefly whenever they run into each other now.
so of course izzy gets an idea. he's already basically done this once, can't hurt to try again. but the rest of the crew is in on it this time - where izzy is trying to tempt ed and break him and stede up, everyone else just wants a first hand Source.
so izzy contacts jack by way of plot device messenger seagull or whatever and he shows up again (not sure if dead in canon...?). ed isn't as happy to see him this time but he doesn't seem upset either, though he does take jack aside on the first night so he can receive his threat to behave from Blackbeard (TM) without an audience. stede also, uh, has some words of warning for him. the crew (and the audience) know not what stede said, but strangely enough that seems to have been the more effective Talk.
unfortunately for izzy jack's presence does not do fuck or shit to cause drama between ed and stede. on the one hand, ed now has a direct comparison to make between the sex he was having and the sex he is having, and he's coming up preferable toward the present. on the other hand, jack makes stede jealous, which makes him possessive, which makes him get a little less vanilla, so really it's a moot point regardless. co-captain sex gets better/worse, depending which side of the door you're on.
jack, however, has a mission and he's gonna see it through. not izzy's mission, that guy is a fuckin downer (and he himself doesn't really want ed back, never really did honestly). the gossip mill, though. that thing needs fed and by god jack is gonna feed it. least he can do for murdering that bird is to tell everyone if their poncy captain is a hardcore freak or not.
so jack gives up trying to make ed horny - and it's not that this wasn't working, it's just that when ed got horny from, say, seeing jack mess around with that fucking whip, his first thought was always to take that up with stede - and instead just starts asking him things directly.
ed leads ship's business one morning (they alternate who has to get up early) and underneath his steadily growing scruff he looks like he's been fucking mauled. from just under both ears all the way down below the collar of his not especially high cut shirt (and who knows how much further) he's absolutely covered in red-purple hickeys.
"thought you hated being marked up," jack not-quite asks. ed grins at him, uncomplicatedly happy (and that's the real difference innit). he's the epitome of 'bright-eyed and bushy-tailed'.
"nah," he says. "didn't wanna risk being marked up. but i'm fucking blackbeard now, i can do whatever i want."
(now jack would never, ever admit this, not even to himself. but maybe now he's the one who's a little jealous, because-)
"you were blackbeard last time we fucked."
"yeah, guess i was," ed allows, entirely unperturbed. "you didn't try it."
"would you have let me?" jack asks, already knowing the answer perfectly well. ed thinks about it, very briefly, shrugs again.
"prob'ly not."
later, stede calls ed 'darling' on deck. jack asks about this too, and ed simply tells him that stede also calls him 'baby' and 'sweetheart'. sweetheart! he repeats in credulity, shaking his head, pointing at himself.
(jack did attempt to call ed 'baby' - once - and had been told that if he ever said it again he'd have his dick cut off and fed to him piece by piece over a period of several days.)
finally, finally, jack can't take the 'mystery' anymore and, in a tight weed circle with ed and a few lucky crew members one night after stede has long gone to bed, he asks straight up, "so how does he compare?"
it takes ed a moment to realize what the fuck jack is asking, and when he does he laughs out loud. "what, to you?"
and really. that fucking answers that, dunnit.
340 notes - Posted April 8, 2022
#4
"only fanfiction has things like 'enemies to lovers'"
huh. weird. i could have sworn pride and prejudice was a traditionally published book studied academically as a piece of classic literature...
819 notes - Posted January 11, 2022
#3
I hate when I read a good book and it makes me want to write my book good but writing a good book is not nearly as easy as reading one
947 notes - Posted September 27, 2022
#2
Ok final ask from me tonight: who in the crew would be the funniest for Izzy to fake date? I think angstiest would definitely go to Ed but funniest? Idk ~ blackhannet anon
Ed
Funniest (and angstiest) if Ed has no earthly clue that this is torture for Izzy. Also very funny that his only point of reference is Stede. Ed, in his mind: so which of us is the wealthy landowner and which of us is the bloodthirsty pirate? He puts himself into the Stede role and treats Izzy real chivalrous and gentlemanly and whatnot, but.... very badly kaslfkjls. He doesn't actually know how to do it.
Stede
Stede, in his mind: so which of us is the wealthy landowner and which of us is the bloodthirsty pirate? Can I be the pirate? I wanna be the pirate. I'm going to be the pirate. And Izzy has to figure out how to play along with that or they fail the fucking mission and get killed or whatever.
Jim
The extent of what they do to convince their mark is hold hands, poorly. Like Stede and Mary on their wedding day. ...At First. Izzy has been saying what a terrible idea this is since it was suggested, and as soon as it seems like he was right he's gloating even though it means he's failed. And then it's a challenge to Jim, a way to win and also wipe that smirk off of Izzy's face. They start hitting him really hard in the mouth with their mouth for no god damn reason except that the mark is, like, there.
Oluwande
Olu treats Izzy with chivalry, but like, real genuine working class chivalry. Every time Izzy looks into the middle distance, Jim is there, threatening him with great bodily harm. No one else ever sees them.
Lucius
The plan was not to fake date, but the mark made assumptions and they had to go with it. Lucius has an absolute blast. Izzy's internal rage/sexual tension is pulled so tight it's a miracle he doesn't snap right in half. Lucius is fully aware of this, and the knowledge is 80% of the fun he's having.
Black Pete
Izzy has never been called so many pet names in his life. He's never heard of so many pet names in his life. He attempts to return the favor and sounds like he is trying to speak a language he does not know. The mark falls for the ruse because Pete is very cute despite all obstacles, but they do take Pete aside after their business is done and ask if Izzy has something fundamentally wrong with him.
Frenchie
Somehow this is the most competent combination. Frenchie is adaptable and personable and can manage to fit with Izzy pretty well, even if he wouldn't actually choose to for real. They fall into simple, non-PDA demonstrations of intimacy like walking in sync or anticipating each other's movements. The only fuck up is that Frenchie does accidentally reprise "Jizzy" in front of the mark, and in the name of their cover Izzy has to answer to it.
Buttons
Izzy thinks this is the least objectionable combination. Buttons doesn't like him, but he's a competent sailor and he hasn't yet caused Izzy any real trouble. Of course, throughout the grift, Izzy is confronted with all the ways Buttons is an absolutely bonkers person who cannot be handled, understood, or even described. Buttons has an alright time, though. He tells the crew after it's done that Izzy is "a fine lad" but not his type. Izzy has no comment, as he has not yet recovered from his experiences.
Roach
Roach seems to genuinely think he Needs to know about Izzy's kinks and fetishes to make them believable as a couple. He tells Izzy his without shame or prompting. Izzy cancels the mission.
Wee John
Wee John insists he has to be a woman for this. He's fully aware that couples do not solely consist of one man and one woman. But he insists he has to be a woman for this.
The Swede
The Swede, out loud: so which of us is the wealthy landowner and which of us is the bloodthirsty pirate?
1,349 notes - Posted May 8, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
rookie mistake ed made not letting stede and izzy sniff each other through the bathroom door for a week before introducing them smh
1,986 notes - Posted April 19, 2022
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